#depersonalistion
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because I haven't seen a whole heap of decent information about this... I thought I'd do a beginner's guide to dissociation
disorders that can cause dissociation include:
DID
OSDD
PTSD
depression
OCD
BPD
DPDR
anxiety
eating disorders
some people also experience dissociation due to chronic pain
being dissociated can feel like, but is not limited to:
feeling disconnected from the world
feeling "blurry", "buzzy", "foggy", or "out of it"
not feeling any emotions
not feeling any physical pain
not remembering whole periods of time
feeling like you're floating outside of your body
your brain constantly going in and out of focus
dissociation is generally broken down into two categories:
derealisation: the feeling that the world around you is unreal, foggy, or just out of reach
depersonalisation: the feeling of being outside of yourself, or of not feeling real
I hope this is a helpful post, and that I've made people more aware of what dissociation actually is. if you have any follow-up questions, please feel free to ask!
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Not to be nosy, but I noticed your tags on the hot buddie art and, um, sub!eddie dom!buck you say???? 👀👀👀👀
What does a greedy gremlin got to do for more information??
Hi, be nosy all you want :)
Me and Kate are workshopping some stuff as we speak. I just teally wanted to look into the dynamics because there's been some great Dom!Eddie stuff out there but I can also see how much Eddie could get out of subbing. Learning to give up that need for control and trust, reclaiming his body after years of depersonalistion from army mentality etc, pleasure and queerness and letting himself let go and enjoy it all.
It's extreme early stages but I'm hoping if we come up with anything worth sharing there could be a fic or some fic moments to share.
And I'm super excited about it. Collabing with Kate is one of my favourite things to do, it's legit how we met years ago and writing comes to me more naturally than when trying to write solo these days.
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So, I acknowledge that I don't love myself, but I don't want to love myself? I don't want to love my body. Part of it is because I don't want to be perceived as self centred, I think, but I just have no desire to accept my body
Hi there!
It’s really courageous of you to reach out and be honest about how you are feeling. It’s okay to feel this way, and you aren’t alone in feeling this way
Loving yourself isn’t self centred; It means to have self-respect, a positive self-image, and unconditional self-acceptance. It doesn’t mean being arrogant, conceited or thinking that you are better than anyone else. It means having a healthy regard for yourself knowing that you are a worthy human being :) It’s not selfish to love ourselves. It clears us so that we can love ourselves enough to love other people. And similarly, many people learn to love themselves by first being loved by another. Do you have supportive people around you, who can encourage you? We are always here to help, but it’s great when there are people in your day to day life who can remind you how fab you are!
Many people struggle with accepting their body. I know that I often feel very disconnected from my body and feel that it isn’t mine (depersonalisation). Sometimes it can be easier to detach from ourselves to avoid psychological pain. In addition, if someone has suffered abuse of some kind, it may be too triggering to accept their own body due to what it has been through.
Our bodies are wonderfully intelligent, and allow us to do so many things. You may not accept your body, but you could practise thanking your body for everything it does for you; even if that means just saying to yourself when you wake up ‘I’m thankful that I have limbs that move and lungs that breathe’.
It’s ok to not be ok, and we are here for you no matter what
With love,
Imogen :)
#mhaimogen#mental health advice#advice#advice blog#self-love#self acceptance#self hate#depersonalistion
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Homesquared Chapter 14 part b
Alright time for more reactions to Homesqaured- oh jeezus
the last one of these I did was from october last year, hoo boy alright brain time to get back on the time train things are happening fast
we last left off with me thinking they just fucking hilled Harry but I remembered the wrong house so Harrys fine, John not so much
Yeah, John sad but ooh Karkat shows up!
They seem to have a mutual conversation about lost youth and stuff, really makes these characters feel oold
“JOHN: jeez, i'm sorry karkat.
JOHN: i had no idea how much time had passed.
JOHN: i must have gotten a bit distracted by my house being blown up.“
Oh man, John thats a whole ass MOOD
lol at sburb allocated blow job
yeah Karkats right tho, John does kind of need a kick in the pants to see how he might have been useful here, but Johns still stuck in this rut of not seeing anything around him as Real real, so hes blind to all of the consequences of inaction
John its called derealization and depersonalization, you can get help for that yknow
But I mean, cant really blame him, hes being smothered by the fires of Doom all around him
Its interesting to see that Karkat, a Blood player, is more comfortable navigating through things that constrain them and tie them down, since constraint is something Blood and Doom have in common, Chains and Barriers and Laws and etc
Whereas John the Breath player, just gets bogged down, hes totally out of his element
so it ends up being like John: “Id like to cling to some funny moments of my youth pls and try to lighten the situation up a bit because I cant do anything when so heavy”
versus Karkat being like: “BUCKLE UP FUCK TITS THIS SHIT IS YOUR LIFE NOW GETS USED TO WADING KNEE DEEP IN THE SHIT LIKE THE REST OF US GROWN ASS ADULTS”
John: ):
Hmm, both Vriskas have been captured, but Annie basically rescued herself, knowing Vriska Prime she probably has a plan or an idea about that, see well see how that goes
“KARKAT: JANE'S PLAN FOR THIS CONFLICT HAS THUS FAR CONSISTED ALMOST ENTIRELY OF KIDNAPPING VARIOUS HIGH PROFILE CHILDREN.
KARKAT: IT'S BIZARRE.
KARKAT: AS THOUGH WE ARE FIGHTING A WAR OF ATTRITION, WHERE THE MAIN RESOURCE BEING UTILIZED IS THE OFFSPRING OF THE MOST POWERFUL PEOPLE ON THE PLANET.KARKAT: IF IT WASN'T ONE OF THE CORE TENETS OF HER FASCISTIC PHILOSOPHY, I'D BE TEMPTED TO SAY THAT CURBING REPRODUCTION MIGHT HAVE BEEN A GOOD IDEA, IF ONLY TO PREVENT THIS KIND OF FUCKSHIT NONSENSE FROM HAPPENING.
Oh. Well I guess that was Dirk’s “plans” for Jane all along. Obviously he was using Jane as a vehicle to gather “players” for his eventually next session, interesting
But who has Jane kidnapped in total thus far?
Does Tavros count? he was certainly trapped with her for some amount of his life, but I dont know if that counts as a kidnapping, John certainly tried to kidnap HIM though from the epilogues
Annie certainly counts as being kidnapped
Vrissy has JUST been captured so that counts, and Harry so far is still fine
Which bodes so well for Harry’s future Im sure
Yeah, Vriska should have been able to not outwit any capture attempts, but my guess is either Vrissy got capture and Vriska dove in, OR, Vriska’s doing an inside job so to speak and got caught on purpose, dragging Vrissy along as well
I guess we’ll see when we see their “prison”
Anyway John, don’t get so down on yourself, you’re just ignorant to everythiong around you! thats why nothing makes sense and you can’t connect to anything, easy fix! Just try to learn more and care more about stuff lol
Man does this feel like a strong metaphor between people who are into/care about politics and people who feel like they can’t get into it though
Crossing that hurdle from one side to the other is rough
“KARKAT: BUT NOTICING THE PROBLEM AND MAKING MEANINGFUL PROGRESS TOWARDS SOLVING IT ARE TWO COMPLETELY DIFFERENT THINGS.”
yup
man, this is all feeling startlingly relevant to the current times, I should have read this sooner
“ KARKAT: PLEASE DO NOT TELL ME YOU JUST HAD ANOTHER EMOTION THAT WE NEED TO DROP EVERYTHING IN ORDER TO DISSECT. “
hah, oh wow, Karkat when you phrase it like that, it’s almost as if you’ve become self aware of your tendencies to Moirail people out of their problems
Not really that out of character for a Blood player to end up being the Therapy Friend though lol
Just don’t burn yourself out on that though
JOHN: karkat, we still haven't spoken about *you*!
KARKAT: ABOUT ME?
JOHN: yes.
KARKAT: ABOUT *ME*?
JOHN: about you.
KARKAT: WHAT THE FUCK ABOUT ME.
JOHN: well...
JOHN: you know, how you feel!
KARKAT: HOW I FEEL.
I know Karkat has probably matured past misunderstandings like this now given he’s really come into a great understanding of his Blood aspect, but by golly do I wish Karkat would misunderstand this as John’s attempts to be Moirail-reciprocal sdkjfhwlijebr
What a perfect way to continue their relationship, on top of more misconstrued romance quadrants XD
Spades is old Hat, Diamonds are in now babey
Oh
this started out funny, but Karkat’s emotional rant just ended up being depressing not funny ):
I have to say though, it is REALLY interesting to see John’s depression manifesting in a very breathy sort of way
Karkat in these panels was more closer together, connected, but as John gets more and more depressed over the course of Karkat’s rant when he realizes Karkat doesn’t know dave died, the panels get seperated by lines of blue, and slowly drift off away from John and from eachother
but thats basically been hows its been manifesting all along
the more John feels Disconnected and Seperate from the reality he finds himself in, the more he finds his will untethered, the more depressed and unable to act he gets
and right now its so much so that even a fuller fledged Blood player is having trouble grounding him back down
I don’t know, I always viewed the depression metaphor as a dark watery void to sink into and feels heavy and encapsulating (but probably thats just my Light-y interpretation of it)
so its interesting to see the depression metaphor as this floating disconnection instead, so much that it leans towards derelaization/depersonalistion/dissociation as well
I wonder if John will start dealing with bouts of actual full blown dissociation as this gets worse?
I mean, Breath aspect has given the literal ability to ghost around wherever he pleases in all other ways, why not literally and physcologically as well?
So John seems to be fully overembracing his aspect here, to a very unhealthy degree here, which I see you asking “aha Dahni, but hes doesn’t have overblown self esteem here, quite the opposite, is this not an inverted state instead? or something else because hes acting like hes inverting to Breath?”
and I say not so! reader, for overembracing is the idea that through your aspect, your will is overwriting the wills of others, and in someone like Vriska, this manifests in a very selfish and over self esteemed way
but is not John’s will overwriting Karkat’s here? Through Breath? And isnt John also being a little selfish here? Considering how he feels about things, more important than how anyone else feels? How Karkat feels?
John is too dissociated to understand that this reality is Real and has Consequences he needs to care about, and Karkat is trying to fight against that, trying to instill his belief that no, this shit is real and it Matters Why Don’t You Care, trying to ground him, trying to give him that dose of Blood he needs
but John’s overembracing Breath is just, blowing that all away, its becoming too strong
Roxy in the epilogues dealt with this as well, when John was really in the shits with it and started to believe Roxy’s whole personality was somehow fake and his own construction, because he convinced himself Roxy would never choose to do the things she did, but Roxy was able to snap him out of it and make him understand and respect it was her own choices that led down his path, not the idea that John’s choices are somehow overriding everyones
But man, John sure is riding that Breath train way too hard, and he keeps snapping back into it as well
Further and Further
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i just wrote my 346th song, at least that i’ve kept. when i first started i had no knowledge of song structure. i wrote in paragraph format. overtime i have realised that i do not always have to follow the verse/chorus format of traditionally written songs. this new song “pretend” is about derealisation and depersonalistion. i also wrote a short creative writing as well, adding to the already few hundred in my collection. you can read some of my creative writing over on that tumblr here.
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nvm i think it's a little cringe now, cringe brain with the cringe depersonalistion
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You might be experiencing depersonalistion and feeling spaced out, it happened to me once, I felt like I was watching a movie scene in which the character is drunk/high so you see everything from their eyes, except without the drunk/high effect. You should look it up
yeah i feel excatly like this i searched it and thats it probably! thank u:)
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First blog post!
First blog post is up! 🤟🐼🤟In this post, I talk about the three D's, Dissociation, Depersonalistion and Derealisation. Three symptoms not often talked about.
#ptsd recovery#complex ptsd#ptsdlife#ptsdsurvivor#mental health#mental heath support#mental disorder#mental health help#mental health support#dissociation#derealisation#depersonalisation
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wow the depersonalistion is here already i cant feel my hands as i type this incredible i cant wait to get reaquainted
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I saw you made a post about dissociation. Could you please elaborate, if possible, on what depersonalisation feels like?
okay, yeah!
depersonalisation is feeling separate from yourself as a person, or feeling like you’re not real. it can include:
feeling like your brain and body are separate entities
feeling like you’re floating just outside your body
feeling like you’re watching the world from a third person perspective
not being able to feel your emotions properly, or feeling like your emotions are slightly out of reach
same as emotions, but with pain
hope this helps!
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