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#deadpool writers i ask that you let him swear more
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Where the Hell am I? (pt. 1)
Title: Where the Hell am I? (pt. 1) 
Genre: comedy, lil floofy (if you squint, I promise), and a lil dramatic - mostly comedic, though. 
Pairing: Aizawa Shota x Reader
Notes: This is, yet again, an idea that was pitched to me by one of my friends over Snapchat. I did take some liberties, contrary to their idea, but I read it and I just HAD to do it. 
Frankly, it made me so happy! I thought that I’d split this, maybe not, but if you want another character (or characters) for this prompt - please let me know!
Some warnings, though; there will be plenty of swearing, so proceed with caution! The reader is also aged up, 21+ purely for the comfort of the writer. I imagine them to be around 24-25, but go about it however you like! 
Below the cut! 
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“You really need to stop watching that childish garbage, y’know. You’re too old for that.”
“Grow up already! People your age don’t watch shit like that!” 
“None of that will help you get by in life; stop watching that and get your life together already!”
AKA, things I, (Y/n) (L/n) hear on a daily basis. 
Hello, dear reader! I’m (Y/n), as you’ve already presumed, and according to my family and friends, I waste my time watching what they call ‘immature junk’. I like to call it anime, but whatever floats their boat. 
I have graduated from college, but I still live with a couple of roommates. My diploma has been sitting on the stack of boxes in the corner of my junk, and no matter how hard I’ve tried, the degree has never seemed to win over anybody in the field.
I’ve struggled with a job hunt for a while now, and I’m getting tired of trying to find something that can tie me over for a little while. I know that the job wouldn’t last, something that has followed me around for the longest time no matter how well I completed any given tasks, but I need something to pitch to the split rent. 
I like to think that my roommates haven’t thought of kicking me to the curb as well, but frankly, they’ve probably found a way to do that or leave my ass sat on the empty apartment floor. Whatever the case, things haven’t been working out well for me at all. 
I’ve been broke on and off as of late, and the only things I have managed to keep consistent was my laptop ownership, my phone ownership, and my clothing and personal items. I’ve been making sure that I have cut back on using many things, but it was starting to bite me now. 
Today, of all days, was the one day that everything was seemingly coming to a head. My roommates were both at each other’s throats and took their frustration out on me (for no reason, honestly - I had already paid my portion of the utilities for the the month and had stayed quiet), my mom had just been admitted to the hospital, and my sibling has been taunting me from her fancy-schmancy upscale home by calling me a loser, deadbeat, etc. - all in all, a shitty day. 
Normally, things like this wouldn’t bother me that much (aside from the pandemic confirmation), but this has been a long time coming and I was at my breaking point. 
That night, I had just let everything be. Not a good thing considering the note that they were left on, but I can’t deal with the presence of people that are immature assholes that haven’t been taught to face your issues head-first, and I am too tired to put up with it anymore. 
I grabbed my laptop and opened up my Funimation account. If I could trust no one in the physical world, then I could trust someone in the fictional world instead. 
I had scrolled through, but when I saw that I had watched everything I planned to, I made the final decision to rewatch one - that anime being Boku No Hero Academia, I was pretty content to watch these teenagers grow in a way that I was unable to - nostalgic value in the anime can be spotted, but you have to look closely. 
The opening narration by Deku had started, and as the episodes continued, I got tired. I don’t remember when this happened, but I think I actually fell asleep around episode 5. No matter, things started to blur and I slept. 
...
Everything felt warm and windy, my clothes were brushing against my hands, and I felt extremely groggy. Nothing seemed out of the ordinary. Well, except for the fact that I felt like I was sleeping on a literal rock, and it was seemingly moving. 
The rocking of whatever it was I was laying on was what woke me up completely, all the sleep forgotten in favor of figuring out what the object was. Looking down, it seemed to be a sheet of metal, and my god - did it stink. ‘Am I laying down in a dumpster?’
After looking down, I did indeed find out that I was sleeping near one. Or in one. Whatever fits, I guess. 
Everything about this situation seemed like I had, somehow, fallen into a blackout drunk stupor. The likelihood of that happening, though, is very low - I have actively avoided any alcohol intake following my 21st birthday. And I had apparently decided to become an emotional drunk when I did reach that point, so that was even more unlikely. 
With that knowledge, this seemed especially fishy. I had to get to the bottom of it. 
I had slipped out of the area slowly, making sure to not accidentally cut my leg or arm on a raw metallic edge, and tread down the alley that I had been sleeping in. 
I didn’t recognize the buildings around me, everything seemed to be a lot more colorful and definitely an extremely far departure from the decrepit, run-down shithole that I had to call a ‘house’. The sky was also so much bluer than what I was used to. 
My parents and other family lived in better areas than I did, but that sky wasn’t what got me - it was the commotion that was coming from around the corner. The sound was so familiar, and I just couldn’t help but assume something crazy: did I land in the world of My Hero? 
‘No, no, no - that’s not possible. That can’t be possible. Your roommates have just lost their shit and threw you out on the street.’ That had to be it, it had to be. There was no other possible situation, though they would have just thrown my ass to the curb and not a dumpster in a generally clean city. 
Yeah, they couldn’t have done that. Or, maybe they did want to kick me out but realized that throwing me out in the dumpster would warrant some legal claims against them, so they decided to inform a family member that actually gave a damn. Then again, the one that was closest lived over two states away, so that also wouldn’t happen so quick. 
“Ugh, my head hurts...”
A crash sounded through the alleyway, and I had made the conclusion that if I don’t leave now, I would get crushed under debris. That being decided, I made a mad dash out of said alley to the opposite end of the sound.
As soon as I left, the obnoxious technicolor of it all made me do a double take. What the hell is with this color palette?
“Are you lost?” 
I jumped from the question. It wasn’t until I turned around that something hit me: yeah, this is most definitely N O T my world. 
The person that had inquired my direction status had a huge spike sticking out of either hand. Their head was shaped normally, their eyes were a dark blue color, and they had short hair. I couldn’t tell if they were male or female, or even non-binary, but I was too freaked out to care. Best bet for this situation, though, was to go with the flow no matter what happens. I refuse to risk my safety any further. 
“I, uh...um, yeah. Yeah, I am lost - but may I ask who wants to know?”
They breathed a sigh of relief, and their hands transformed into regular ones. The only explanation for this was that I was going crazy, or that I really landed in the world of My Hero. “Oh, thank god. I thought you were a villain for a second. Follow me before you get hit,” they said before they directed me further away from the soon-to-be-destroyed building. 
We had made some small talk - if you could even call it that - as we evacuated, and I found out that their name was Dylan. They were apparently an off-duty hero, though that could be left up to debate considering no hero would voluntarily reveal their identity to someone on the street. Though they could have also assumed that I was a regular citizen, as well. 
Didn’t help that I was still completely and utterly fucked on the front of knowledge - still confused, for a shorter explanation. 
The commotion was still very prevalent as I continued walking with Dylan, and when we finally reached the town, the volume was so much more deafening. The sight was as well. 
Two people were fighting in mid-air, one with a dark jacket and leather pants. Gloves were on their hands, but the big kicker was their mouth - it was almost warped into a joker smile, cuts and all, but it was full of teeth. Their eyes, from what I could see from my spot  on the ground, were very large and red. I wish I could have seen more, though. 
The other one was wearing some garb that mimicked Deadpool, though it was very obviously not him since there were some very obvious legs that were protruding from each side of their body. If I was observing them correctly, too, there were eight legs and multiple eyes. A spider hero? Like, a literal spider hero? 
“(Y/n), I’m sure that you’re curious and a little freaked out, but I’m going to ask that you stay here with the crowd,” Dylan said. They laid their hand on my shoulder as I stared at the view in front of me. I absently nodded, muttering a small and measly, “Got it,” as the realization of everything sunk in. 
I really am in the My Hero world. I really landed in a fictional world. 
Holy shit, I’m completely and totally screwed. 
There are so many things that could go wrong, so many things that would warrant a worry. Besides that, though, the thing that’s just hit me now that I know that I’m in their world is the most worrying. 
Whose quirk got so screwed that I got transported here? Do I have to find that person to return to my world? Even then, was this done on purpose? In that case, would they want to send me back? What if it’s a villain and they want something? So many things can go so severely wrong. 
I couldn’t leave my head now. I could, quite literally, die here and no one would notice. 
My blank stare didn’t go unnoticed by certain citizens around me, but their attention was soon diverted - as was mine - at the newest occurrence on the scene. The spider hero was dropping lower, the (supposed) villain was falling quickly to the floor, and another hero stood above the two on top of a nearby building. Cheers erupted through the crowd as the commotion was met with flashing lights, news reporters, and gossip writers. 
It took a second for me to notice, but the other hero on the building was Kamui Woods. Though I would later find this out, too, Mt. Lady was taking care of the runaway villain - she blew up larger with said villain in her hands a bit away from the scene with a triumphant smirk. 
Though there was some slight commotion from the shaken media reporters, they quickly fell back into their goals and started to plow through the crowd. People were being pushed left, right, and forward.
Through this chaos, though, I noticed Dylan pushing against the people looking winded. Eventually, they made it to me while panting. “Okay, so,” they began, “We should probably leave now, but I want to ask you some questions.”
I shrugged, taking a deep breath. “You need to ask, fire away. I need some answers anyway.”
We settled on a nearby restaurant, Dylan offering to pay for whatever food I ordered, and got down to the questions. 
“I noticed that you were stiff when you saw the fight. It wasn’t the normal kind of stiff, either.” 
Dylan’s words seemed off. How could they see a difference in shock between me and the citizens? A villain attack is a villain attack, right? 
“It was more...upset, for lack of a better word. What’s going on with that?” they inquired, making me stiffen. I didn’t realize that I was that odd in the crowd.
I wasn’t sure how to phrase my answer, but I had to say something. Unless I said it straight out, this would probably be a failure to explain. And people may look at me like I’ve lost it. 
“Well...I...”
Dammit.
I’ve just gotta say it. 
“I think I’ve been transported between realities. This one isn’t mine, I fell asleep in a dingy apartment, woke up here, and I’m-”
“Okay, I think I have an idea of what’s going on. I could help you, but it may take some time. Until then, let’s find a way to make sure that you don’t get screwed while you’re here, sound good?”
I breathed a sigh of relief, thankful. Then the thought hit me.
“Wait, how would you know? How can I trust you? Prove that you’re a hero, and then I’ll think about that offer.”
They chuckled a little, seemingly nonplussed, and reached for their hero license. After taking a look at it, I determined that this was a real license. You can’t get one unless you passed the exam, and even then, there are very few circumstances in which you can get one and not be a hero. 
“Getting closer, but still not there. I need more proof.”
Nodding again, they grabbed their cell and opened their messages in front of me. Their phone screen was face up, and they turned it to face me. I saw messages between Kamui and Dylan. I scrolled through the messages to make sure that they weren’t faked, and the image moved. 
“One more thing. If that’s the case, then tell me what your quirk is.”
“Well, my quirk is body morphing, or shape shifting. I can’t shift into anything that’s living, though - and I can’t keep up form for too long of a time. That enough for you?”
I paused, weighing the options - they’ve shown enough awareness, and they do have proof for what I provided, but how can I be sure that this isn’t just a ploy to trap a citizen and get the attention of the heroes? 
“Okay, here’s what I am gonna do - I’m going to trust you. I have nowhere else to go, nor do I have any idea as to why I’m here, and I can’t go about life here without some help,” I uttered, urgency (and possibly a little fear) in my tone of voice. 
With a nod, their bouncy curls following the action. They seemed satisfied, and I had finally found some sense of stability.
I can now figure this shit out. 
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Do you mean the characterization where the character relived all of Peter Parker’s memories at the end of ASM #700 and was trying his best (from his point of view) to be a hero and NOT a villain? It’s almost like an important, life changing/character-changing moment like that happened in between those two scenes. But go figure. :-D
@danslott-blog
I’m writing this because I wouldn’t have space in the original post. This is to be considered a direct reply to the above poster.
You know, I can’t be 100% certain if you are the real Dan Slott or a sycophantic fan of his. Your blog page…
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…leads me to believe you are in fact the real Dan Slott. 
Thing is I saw this comment last night but I didn’t check out your blog until this morning. Nevertheless, last night my first instinct was to presume you to be the real Dan Slott.
The fact that my mind immediately jumped to that possibility, the fact that I can’t rule it out and the further supportive evidence of your blog, speaks volumes.
It speaks volumes about the person Dan Slott whether or not you are the genuine article or not. Because your actions so thoroughly fall in line with his behaviour.
And it is damning. As are your words. Let’s unpack them.*
So, did I mean Otto’s characterization? That’s what you were getting at. That my original post was in reference to Otto’s characterization between ASM #700 and Superior #2?
No.
I did not.
At all.
I was referring to Mary Jane’s  characterization. I elaborate upon the topic in this post.
Tl:dr: MJ was eager to sleep with ‘Peter’ in the former issue but not in the latter.
That should have been utterly obvious  to anyone observing the post because I was presenting events from 2 issues and saying they didn’t line up. Obviously  the purpose was for the readers of my post to play spot the difference.
The similarities were Otto’s desire to have sex with Mary Jane. The difference was with MJ.
As of this writing, twelve other people grasped that obvious intent Dan.
Why on Earth do they have superior reading comprehension skills than a professional writer  for the largest comic book company in America? Surely that should be a basic requirement of the job?
Not that I’m surprised. It is exemplary of the vast majority of your pathetic, reductive and damaging  work on this franchise.
But let’s dive deeper.
You claim that Otto reliving Peter’s memories in ASM #700 (after the scene in the OP) changed him hence he was different in Superior #2.
But he’s not.
In ASM #700 he tried to exploit Mary Jane’s misconception that he was Peter Parker (and her pre-existing feelings for him) to have sex with her.
In Superior #2 he was still  trying to exploit Mary Jane’s misconception that he was Peter Parker (and her pre-existing feelings for him) to have sex with her.
So he hasn’t changed. At all.
But for the sake of argument, let’s pretend you are right. In Superior #2 (because he relieved Peter’s memories) he was trying to be a better person from his point of view.
So you are saying from his point of view   raping Mary Jane by deception constituted trying to be a hero and not a villain?**
If Otto experienced Peter’s memories then that would logically entail his upbringing and morality. Meaning Otto would in fact know that what he’s trying to do with MJ is unethical. Or he’d appreciate that he’s not the real Peter Parker and it’d be a disservice to the real man who’s legacy he’s trying to uphold to sleep with the woman he loves. Or he’d know who MJ was and appreciate she deserved better than to be deceived.
But no. He was horny and was going to satisfy himself  no matter what. Hence later in the issue after he experiences Peter’s memories of ‘being’ with MJ he says he’s ready to move on and starts eyeing up other women, including Sajani.
Furthermore, even without Peter’s memories Otto would never have attempted to sleep with Mary Jane for two big reasons.
The first is that she is frankly not his type.
Prior to Superior, the women Otto held affections for (romantically or otherwise) were either scientifically gifted (Mary-Alice, Carolyn), admirers of his brilliance (Stunner, Carolyn, Mary-Alice) or unconditionally kind towards him (Aunt May).
You know…kind of like his own mother was!
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MJ is not scientifically gifted. MJ did not admire Otto’s genius. As far as he knew she didn’t even admire Peter’s genius and even the times she has canonically it has been in a different way to the ladies in Otto’s life. MJ was never singing Peter’s praises for being so clever for inventing this or that, she was never borderline fangirling over his intellect. She also wasn’t unconditionally kind like Aunt May was, her kindness manifested in a starkly different way. She wasn’t taking Otto, Peter or a stranger home for a cup of tea or a nice meal.
Since Otto wanted to sleep with her before  he was exposed to all of Peter’s memories, the only rationale reason for his interest was the superficial. She was an attractive young woman and Otto wanted her body.
Which would be weird  right because I seem to recall you and your buddy Christos Gage saying Otto didn’t care about looks in his romantic partners?
This brings me to my second reason.
Otto is evil but he’s not Purple Man/Doctor Light levels of evil. He wouldn’t do something as debase as that, he’d view it as beneath him. In his own warped way he holds a certain respect for women. Hence he genuinely cared for Aunt May, Stunner, Carolyn Trainer, Mary-Alice and of course his mother.
But let’s say I’m wrong. Let’s say Superior #2 was covering totally virgin territory for the character that had never been touched upon before. As in there had never been a word written about Otto’s love life, attitudes to women, attitudes to sex, etc.
That being the case, you established as hard canon that Doctor Octopus, the villain of the pg-13 movie Spider-Man 2, antagonist in dozens of Spider-Man cartoons for children and video games for kids and teens, is an attempted rapist!
As in if MJ hadn’t turned him down all those times his attempts would’ve been successful and he’d just be an actual  rapist.
You took a beloved, fun character (who was unique for having a somewhat humanitarian side to himself) and made him utterly irredeemable. You had him attempt an act of evil that the readers know (within the context of the genre conventions) is one of the, if not the actual, worst things a villain can do.
Good job buddy.
Oh, and needless to say, you totally and utterly failed to take Mary Jane’s point of view into account; as you did in response to my OP.
You never considered how you were using the main female character of the franchise who is beloved  within the fandom and generating cheap, gratuitous tension by threatening to rape her.
In conclusion Dan Slott, you were never ever qualified for the job as Spider-Man’s lead writer. You never ever deserved the role because of how you lied and cheated your way into Marvel, disrespected the works of your predecessors and disrespected the characters you were in charge of.
You had good ideas half the time but your writing craftsmanship skills on the title were woefully lacking hence you could only competently execute them 1/8th of the time. When combined with the raw damage you wrought to the characters and narrative you are without question the single worst on-going writer of Spider-Man in history.
I’m sure you are pleased with that record considering it was blatantly obvious you were far more invested in cultivating an eventual legacy for your self on the character than you were actually serving the characters and organically developing them.
Author of ASM #600, 700 and 800
The only Spider-Man writer to have written 3 centennial issues in a row.
The guy who has written 1 in 5 issues of Amazing Spider-Man.
Oh, and also the worst on-going writer of Spider-Man in history.
Wow.
What an achievement.
Now, why don’t you stop searching for your own name or works online and do something more practical with your time.
Like learning how to write.
*Oh and btw, I’m writing this presuming you are the real Dan Slott.
Also I’m going to try my best not to swear but that is where my politeness ends. This isn’t CBR Dan, Mister Mets (nor any other moderator) is around to censor or ban anyone to protect you.
**And yes, having sex with MJ when she didn’t know he was really Doc Ock is objectively  a form of rape. Here is literally the first sentence  about rape on Wikipedia, with emphasis by me:
“Rape is a type of sexual assault usually involving sexual intercourse or other forms of sexual penetration carried out against a person without that person's consent.”
Contrary to what your buddies Fred van Lente or Stephen Wacker might have told you, force is not a requisite.
No consent = rape.
Had MJ had sex with Otto she’d have been giving Peter her consent not Otto. Therefore Otto would have been raping her. This was acknowledged in fact in a Dead pool comic book from 1998!
Courtesy of one of your Brand New Day peers, Joe Kelly, Deadpool v1 #12 saw Wade have sex with Siryn, whom he had feelings for.
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However, in the next issue ‘Siryn’ reveals she was actually Typhoid Mary in disguise, a woman who’d endeavored to bring out Wade’s darkside against his wishes.
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Wade’s dialogue and body language clearly convey how he feels sickened and violated by the experience. When he asks Mary why  she did this to him she replies it was simply because she could. Whilst Wade is on the ground feeling vulnerable she stands up, leans over and licks him!
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The scene when taken in context is brutally unsubtle. Typhoid used trickery to exploit Wade. She put herself in a position of power and abused that power to dominate Wade, to remove his agency.
That is literally all rape boils down to. Not sex but power. The scene, especially the last panel hammers that point home.
But just in case  you still didn’t get it the very next page depicts Wade vomiting and saying he needs a shower.
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This is a common reaction from victims of sexual assault, at least in media. The ‘I need a shower’ moment is practically a trope.
Why did a 1998 Deadpool story  have a clearer understanding of the topic being played with than a 2013 Spider-Man story…that was allegedly for children no less!
P.S. You know Tom DeFalco had Peter Parker wrestle with his emotions in the wake of the ‘Death of Jean DeWolff’ story arc way back in ASM #275.
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You might say that witnessing such violence and examining his own actions with perspective was a life changing experience for him.
With that in mind, how about you explain to me why Peter experiencing death, deletion, abuse of his life and body, losing a whole year of his life and then returning to it totally changed doesn’t  count as a life/character changing experience?
Because you sure as hell didn’t write him reacting with the pain, the sadness, the anguish that he (or any normal human being) would’ve had after he came back. Nope. Just back to cracking jokes I guess.
Do you like…not know how human beings work?
That’s a rhetorical question because I know the answer.
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chromecutie · 4 years
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Not A Ghost - part 35
A/N - Multi-part fic. Colossus x OC where OC has come home after being wrongfully imprisoned in the Icebox. Warnings for whole fic - references and flashbacks to harsh prison environment, including various types of abuse. Takes place shortly after events in Deadpool 2. Whole thing will end up on my AO3 eventually.
Masterlist on my profile!
Taglist: @emma-frxst  @ra-ra-rasputiin  @holamor ​  @empressme-bitch  @marvel-is-perfection  @hazilyimagine ​ @marvelhead17 @rovvboat @angstybadboytrash ​ @whitewitchdown ​ @master-sass-blast ​ @mori-fandom @mooleche @dandyqueen @emberbent @leo-writer . Wanna be added or removed? Holla at me.
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Nighttime in the Icebox was usually pretty quiet, not counting the occasional inmate screaming or howling. It was a soundscape Mimi had been used to for years. She couldn’t guess how long she had actually been in prison, but it didn’t matter any more. Everything was in place. She waited until the night shift walked by her cell, briefly shining their flashlight through the plexiglass walls to confirm she was in bed. Nestled in shed skins and extra blankets she had collected over time, the reptilian knew there wouldn’t be a body check again for about an hour. Plenty of time. In fact, if things went according to plan, it would be the last body check for a while.
As the booted footfalls on the metal grate walkway faded, she crept from her bed without so much as a rustle from her shed skins. The control collar weighing on her neck took away some of her abilities - like her venom she desperately missed, but it couldn’t change her narrow shoulders and hips which were perfect for sneaking into an air vent. Climbing the back wall was difficult; without the collar, her fingers had grip like a gecko, but now she could grip only slightly better than a human. Still, she made it to the air vent near the ceiling and got in.
Most of this plan had already been formulated for a long time. Mimi ran through it in her mind thousands of times, part drill, part fantasy. For a long time, the missing piece had been how to safely leave the Icebox without tumbling down the mountainside or freezing in the snow. Who knew the twisted, savage little monster who used to swear she was one of the X-Men would give her the answer on a silver platter? It was funny. 
--
Most inmates blurred together in Mimi’s memory, unless they made a very strong impression that they could be useful. The one they started calling Guestbook stood out only because she was irritating. Her big doe eyes and chattering teeth and frightened tears were an annoyingly fresh reminder that the Icebox was indeed hell. 
On a day like a thousand others, the laundry room had been quiet and out of the way enough for Mimi to set up the deals that had allowed her to rise to gang lord status. She eventually amassed almost as much power as the warden of the Icebox. And when a frenzied inmate with wild eyes and frizzy, mousy hair had scrambled into the laundry room trying to hide behind a row of dryers, Mimi simply rolled her eyes.
“You can’t be in here,” she said. “Get going.” When there was no answer, she went over to the would-be hiding spot and tried again. “I know you’re not deaf.” The inmate was breathing heavy, but suppressing the sound as much as she could. Mimi frowned down at her, “Guestbook - hm.” She took in the torn sleeve of her jumpsuit, and fresh, bleeding X tattoos that had been carved into her forearm. “They got you again, huh?” 
Guestbook’s nostrils flared as tears welled up anew. “If you tell them where I am, I’ll--”
“You won’t do shit to me,” Mimi’s scaled brows lifted and her eyes narrowed. “That’s why you’re gonna die in here.”
Shuffling footsteps echoed in the hall outside of the laundry room, and a few of the more disgusting inmates poked their heads in. One asked, “You seen the Guestbook in here?”
Guestbook was still hidden from their view, and for a second Mimi honestly thought of letting them have her. Instead, she rested a fist on her hip and stated, “I’m busy. You bother me in here again and it’ll take them a week to scrape you off the floor.” They hesitated, but when Mimi bared her pointy teeth and hissed at them, they scattered.
As their pattering faded, Mimi cracked her neck and turned to resume her work sorting laundry. “Maybe if you hadn’t started off day one screaming about how you’re X-Men,” she said absently, “people wouldn’t be out for your hide. We all know you’re not.”
Guestbook squeaked from her hiding spot, “I--”
Mimi shook her head, impatient. “I don’t care either way. But I guarantee that if you kill one of these fuckers chasing you, they’ll start giving you some space.”
Guestbook shook her head, brows pinched tightly over a fading black eye, “I’m not killing anyone.”
Loading a pile of blankets into a washer, Mimi warned, “They don’t do funerals in here, and nobody gives a shit if you die for some bullshit moralistic ideal.” She threw in a scoop of detergent and set the machine running, and when she looked again, Guestbook was gone.
After that, it was like something had changed. Mimi started noticing when Guestbook fought back against her attackers. She escalated fights, and fought dirty. She even killed the inmate who had cut off her finger...and the inmate who had held her down for it...and she even bit off the finger of the guard who had watched and laughed. She killed another inmate, then another. So much for bullshit moralistic ideals. After that, Mimi tried a few times to offer Guestbook a place in the Vicious 13; a killing machine is always useful. But every time, Guestbook refused, and so Mimi had to send someone to stab her, make an example for turning down the V-1-3. But she never sent her best, because she didn’t want her dead, and whoever she sent usually met a grisly end at Guestbook’s hands.
--
The vent shaft was narrow, the turns were difficult, and Mimi had a hard time seeing - another thing that would’ve been no trouble without the collar. Still, she wriggled and maneuvered her way until she could hear voices. They were too muffled to make out clearly, but she recognized them well enough. She knew she wouldn’t show up on the heat sensors she’d been warned about, but still she crept along more slowly, careful not to make the slightest sound. Finally, she reached the vent opening over the control office. The air filter was filthy, and she couldn’t wait to throw it at the guards having a cheerful work day chat just beneath her.
They were trading snarky comments about the DMC’s benefits package when Mimi dove through the vent, sending the filter banging around and puffing clouds of dust everywhere. One guard, understandably startled, scrambled away from the intruder. The other was still in Mimi’s reach when she went to grapple him. He swung wildly with his fists and baton, and with a few fluid dodges, Mimi weaponized his momentum against him and flung him over her shoulder into a bank of cabinets. Before the second guard could stop her, Mimi was on the first, and with strong fingers hooked one hand under his jaw while the other held the top of his head firmly. She wrenched his head to an unnatural angle with a horrible crack. The guard went limp and slumped away from her. 
From the other end of the control office, the remaining guard didn’t scream into his radio for backup, didn’t beg for his life, didn’t make any move to attack Mimi. Instead, he smiled.
Mimi returned his smile as she got to her feet, “Edmund.”
“Maria,” his smile widened, “Finally.” Edmund Robinson, who had been the one to bring Guestbook to solitary, extended his arms and Mimi leapt into an embrace. They held it only a moment. He asked, “What’s next, gorgeous?”
All her years in the Icebox, and Mimi had hardly touched her collar, usually opting to pretend as much as possible that it wasn’t there. She grabbed it with both hands and said, “Get this fucking thing off.”
Robinson, still smiling, nodded and used his key card to unlock a safe where some devices about the size of a USB stick were kept. There were three hard tokens, each had a small screen displaying a six digit code that changed every ten seconds. With one in hand, they both took a deep breath.
“Don’t fuck this up,” Mimi said with an urgent edge. If he typed the code too slowly, or missed a number, the explosive charge would take off her head and his hands. She watched his face one more moment before turning around to let him reach the block on the back of her collar.
With a few beeps, and the longest nine seconds of her life, Mimi’s collar clicked loose and fell away. Her head swam, and she leaned against Robinson until the woozy feeling faded enough to collect herself. She shook her head, trying to clear away a nagging uneasiness. Finally, she heard guards shouting on the other side of the plexiglass walls. They could only get in if the officer inside the office scanned their card to unlock the doors.
“The armory,” she pushed herself away from Robinson to look at the row of monitors playing the security footage. On one screen, guards were grabbing heavy riot equipment. “Edmund, can you seal that?”
“On it,” he tapped his card against a sensor, typed a few keys, and she watched the surveillance screens as the door to the armory sealed shut, with a couple officers still inside and a half dozen more outside of it beating on the door.
Thunder on the doors of the office broke their focus. Officers were beating on the doors with batons, fists, and the ends of their cattle prods. Robinson and Mimi were unconcerned; the glass was built to withstand a beating from incredibly strong inmates throwing their full force against it. Mimi locked eyes with one of the guards on the other side of the glass. He was practically foaming at the mouth in his fury. “Edmund,” she said with a smooth, almost sensual tone, “open the cells.”
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neighborhood-merc · 5 years
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It is I, and I am back with more a new list of fanfics for this wonderful ship called SpideyPool. 
Listen, I don’t know why I’m doing this as well (maybe because I fuckin love these boys and want to share my fave fanfics of their ship to everyone...or whatever) but here we are. [ Here are Part 1, 3 btw! ]  
Same shit applies:
The themes of the stories on this list varies, I’m either into something heart-warming, fluffy, domestic that sort of stuff or into some really really heavy and dark messed up ones. It always depends on the mood am I right? *wink wink*
It’s always gonna be smutty though lol
As long as it’s tastefully written, whatever kinky shit, I can be into it, I don’t judge the writer. With that being said if I add something straight up messed up here now/or in the future, don’t judge too, just mind the tags of the fic, for your own discretion if anything.
this list should be Wade Wilson/Peter Parker - Spiderman/Deadpool pairing only. I kinda like my babies greedy/possessive for/of each other.
I don’t care who tops or bottoms.  ¯\_(ツ)_/¯
Summaries are taken directly from the fanfic’s summary.
Read the tags first!
Wolves [ Update: Sadly, the fic has been deleted :( ] (This is WIP, but I swear it’s so fucking good you should read it. It’s a Prison AU, and the writing is sublime)  Peter is falsely accused and sent to jail, where he meets the violent ex-mercenary, Wade.
Don't Forget To Check Your Calendar! Peter REALLY should remember to check his calendar or Peter forgets that he has a heat coming up, and in doing so causes several sticky situations to occur (thank god for Tony's NDA's).
Communication Error “Have you seriously been doing this bit for a year now?” “Bit… what bit?” Wade looked at him, confused. “This,” Peter waved his hand, “the 'we’re dating' bit.” There was a pause, and then suddenly, it was like Wade’s whole body imploded. His shoulders sunk and his head dropped and suddenly Peter knew he’d made a huge mistake. “Hahaha, yeah, the dating bit.” He held up the wine. “One year of one really bad, horrible joke.”
Night Off Wade is taking the night off when a certain Spider calls for help.
The Great Florist, Wade Wilson (this ones got a Sequel) Deadpool has found the apartment belonging to Spiderman. Or Peter Parker, if the name on the door is anything to go by. Now some people might use this information of said secret identity wrongly. Normally Wade would have been one of them. But this is different. This is Spider-Parker, I-mean, Peter-man, I-mean, fuck. Now Deadpool just have to figure out exactly what he is gonna do with this information. Which is quite simple really. He's going to leave Spidey flowers and win his heart this way or the one, where Deadpool spams Spiderman with flowers, and Spiderman has no idea what's going on
Tale As Old As Time, Song As Old As Rhyme (This belongs to the series  “A Spider in the Pool”) It is absolutely fucking good, I recommend you read them. Do read the warnings though yeah?) Peter Parker gradually falls for Wade's dubious charms. They have a lot of hang ups and kinks to negotiate, but with sex this hot, Peter can't help wanting more. Erotica with significant plot and relationship development.
Help Me, Peter Parker, You’re My Only Hope! “I need your help,” Wade admitted. “And why would I help you?” Peter asked with an amused chuckle. “Because, um, I asked you? Isn’t it what you do? Help people who ask for it?”
Damage Peter Parker finds himself in a sticky situation and who should show up to rescue him but the infamous Deadpool? Now Peter feels indebted to the mercenary... And maybe weirdly charmed by him.
I'm Serious Wade wants Peter to top. But he really, really doesn't know how to ask.
Shake it out (this series is a good boi)
Sick Days  "Wade." "Mr. Rogers." They stared at each other, one calm and silent in his fury while the other looked like a deer about to be pummeled by an eighteen-wheeler. "I'm sure you have a reason for being in my son's bed without a shirt on?"
Love Me Dead Peter tries to tell Wade his feelings. It's kind of a train-wreck.
Disgusting -Spideypool (5+1) This is a Wade Centric fic containing topics of mental health struggles and self image. Nothing too graphic but still.
Flip the Safety They both get a little carried away when they fight, but this time Wade grins over his gun and the worst part is that Peter knows he doesn’t plan on shooting him.
Do It Yourself “I bet you’re flexible enough to suck your own dick.” Wade plants that thought in Peter's head and he can't help where curiosity leads him.
Looking for a savior in these dirty streets  (WADE YOU LITTLE SHIT LOL) what's your opinion on eating ass? just looking for a yes or noThat's the text Peter gets when he's in a meeting with Anna Maria, trying his hardest to get back to running a company a few months after an unexpected trip to the underworld.
Act your age (not your shoe size) “Wanna go grab some grub? I have it on good authority there's some qual-a-tee Mexican around here.”Peter’s mouth drops open. “Uh, you always invite guys you just met out for lunch?” Deadpool laughs and leans forward. The words are muffled when he says, “Only the ones I meet in movie theaters.”
That's the power of love (cute af fic) “Yeah, so, about that. Nice to meet ya, I’m Wade Wilson but def not your Wade Wilson although I gotta say, I’m jealous of the asshole.”
Baby, i’d victoria your secret anytime (another good boy) Peter’s known Wade for a while now, so he can maybe see how this makes sense -- like, maybe Wade has a thing about going commando and just happened to have an old girlfriend’s panties lying around, one thing led to another…but…“And the bra?” Peter croaks.
It's The Alcohol Talking It wasn't every day that Wade came across a drunk-off-his-ass Spider-man.
Marco (this is fuckin’ hurt ok???) Spidey was fine. Everything was going to be fine.
Took no time with the fall (Part One of “wasn’t looking for this” series) When the Avengers had briefed him on Deadpool, they played up the Kills People for Money and Has No Real Morals angle and left out the Is Pretty Damn Funny and Charming in a Weird, Terrifying Sort of Way part.Or, five times they meet on rooftops plus one time they take it to the streets*
Now you're in my way (Part Two of “wasn’t looking for this” series) Wade's been with the Avengers for four months. The two of them have been together for five.Their relationship consists of taco-based dates, a ton of sex, and, well, Avenging.
The Stalking of Wade Wilson "It’s around this point that a niggling thread of thought worms its way into his head when he’s not paying attention, one that gently suggests that Wade might be slightly less of a bad guy than Peter previously thought."
Seeing the real you (it's not what I imagined) "The fuck,“ Deadpool said slowly. He was staring at him in a way that made Peter feel decidedly uncomfortable, and this was saying something, considering Deadpool had a habit of leering at him at the most inappropriate times. "Are you kidding me?" he eventually gasped. "How OLD are you? Twelve?“
I'll Always Protect You Anonymous said: If anyone is up for it I have a rescue prompt idea where Peter (he is not in his spiderman suit) is taken as a hostage with a gun to the head along with a few other civilians. Peter is warning the criminals to let everyone go otherwise his fiance,Wade, will kill them all. They mock him and beat him up. Then a furious Deadpool saves Peter by the most badass way possible. Also I would love if someone write how unnervingly skilled Wade is as a mercenary. Please? Anyone?
Your ass is mine  Spidey takes a toilet break while on patrol. He wasn't expecting Wade to join him.
When I'm Inside You Spiders are hard to catch. When Deadpool manages to pin one down on an NYC rooftop, he thinks he deserves a prize.
Daddy It had started as a joke, which was conveniently how most of these things always happened.
Any Means Necessary Anonymous said: Abo au where Peter is a young mutant who both displayed his heat early before his adolscent stage and spidey powers that went out of haywire the moment his heat started, leaving him to thrash around the city, running away from his family. Wade Wilson, an alpha, who happens to be a professional mercenary for hire, is now paid to catch this mutant, and try and calm him down by “any means necessary” because Peter, even as an omega is swrecking havoc amongst the city. [ 1/2 ] Of course, Wade takes those words seriously, and decides to just do that solution by first, capturing and drugging the young omega, and then, placing him in what could be described as a special and adjustable breeding stand in Wade’s attempts to calm Peter down. [ 2/2 ]
One Fear (Two Fear), Red Rear (Pink Rear) (Note: Now this is where “read the tags first” is applicable af. Don’t tell me I didn’t warn you dude) Anonymous said: Hello, another one for you: Deadpool adopts MCU Spidey and treats him like his actual child. That is until Peter starts growing up more and Wade can't help but feel attracted to him. At around age 15, Peter starts actively trying to seduce Wade. Wade resists, but in the end gives in. My kingdom for hardcore daddy kink, Sub!Peter, Wade calling him a good boy/baby boy. 
Wo Rauch Ist (this fic is fucking gold) "Someone needs to write a ‘the fire alarm went off at 3 am and now the cute guy from the flat next door is standing next to me in his underwear’ AU" 
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Opposites Attract (Pre-Deadpool!Wade Wilson x Reader)
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A/N: Wow! I feel so bad because I got this request literally over the summer. That makes me think about how long it has been since I’ve replied to a request so I sincerely apologize. Anyway, thank you for your compliments, anon, and I appreciate this awesome request!
Request: OH MY GOD you write wade so fuckin well!! if requests are open could we maybe get a pre-deadpool merc wade x reader where the reader is just super small and shy and soft and they're basically polar opposites but fall for each other anyway? you can do whatever you want for the plot honestly you're such a good writer adfklfkdf
Summary: You’ve always been Wade Wilson’s shy neighbor, but deep down you know you long to be something more.
Warnings: swearing, fluff, a little bit of angst
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You’ve been Wade Wilson’s neighbor for three years now. He lives in the apartment right across from you and the thought that he is always so close to you sends shivers down your spine. The first day you moved in, you developed sort of a crush on him when he flirted with you as he helped you carry in some moving boxes. But, you were too shy to act upon how you felt. The result was only seeing Wade occasionally when you went out to get the mail and falling into a fit of giggles whenever he made a funny joke or flirtatious comment at you. Sometimes he would try and be serious and have a pleasant chat with you, but it was hard to continue conversations with him without blushing at his handsome smile. So, Wade Wilson has simply remained in your life as a friendly neighbor, nothing more and nothing less.
Occasionally, in the late hours of the night, you’d hear arguing coming from the hallway or bangs to the wall which made you wonder if there was fighting happening frequently. The idea of Wade being a criminal or hitman of some kind made you fear him slightly, but it also made him so much more mysterious.
Wade knows you don’t like to talk much. He knows how you spend most nights alone in your apartment watching reruns of old shows or rewatching your favorites movies. The fact that you are extremely introverted is something Wade never thought he’d like, but for some reason, it makes him more drawn to you. He loves talking and even making jokes to the point where it makes people uncomfortable, so the thought of you just listening and laughing to him ramble filled his heart with warmth. Yet, Wade already knows that a sweet, shy girl like you would never go after a violent mercenary, let alone a violent mercenary like him. He also likes to tell himself that opposites attract, and that’s what gives him the sliver of hope he has about the two of you going out sometime.
Wade is actually known by you more than he thinks, as he comes into your place of work a couple of times a day. You had been living in New York for a few weeks when you had decided to finally go out and search for a simple job to pay the bills. You looked for a waitressing job in a nice place, but those were a lot harder to come by in the city than you would have imagined. It felt like you had been walking forever as you turned every corner, peeking for “Help Wanted” signs. Eventually, you came across a quaint place named “Sister Margaret's Home for Wayward Girls” with a large poster in the window seeking bartenders.
As sketchy as the bar is, you found yourself enjoying your job at Sister Margaret’s more and more with each passing night. You and Weasel bonded easily and the regulars at the bar didn't end up being as intimidating as they seemed the first night you began working. You could even sense yourself stepping out of your comfort zone a little bit more, starting up conversations with the customers and being friendly with new people. Usually, you’d enjoy being at home alone by yourself, but now you genuinely have a good time at the loud bar you work at.
Tonight, the bar is particularly crowded and Weasel asked you to come in for an extra shift. You don’t mind coming in at all, and you’re excited to see the new wave of people that come in at a different hour of the night. You and Weasel chat behind the bar for a while, laughing and making fun of the men that come in. You have always found it easy to talk to Weasel, he’s a little awkward but makes funny jokes and that makes him someone you feel able to start conversations with comfortably.
A familiar figure struts into the bar and Weasel gets ready to serve him. You bend over and begin collecting clean glasses off of the bottom shelf, finally deciding to get to work on such a busy night.
“Well if it isn’t the one and only Wade Wilson!” Weasel exclaims as Wade takes a seat at the bar. “What the hell can I get for ya?”
Wade exhales deeply, his eyes searching around the room as he thinks of his drink order. His gaze lands on you and he turns to Weasel with a smirk. “Now, who might that be over there?”
“Don’t get any ideas, Wade,” Weasel instructs him. “She’s our best bartender.”
He grins before sliding over the bar and making his way over to you. He leans in close to your ear, his body practically on yours as his voice gets low and hoarse. “So what’s a girl like you doing working in a place like this?”
You can’t help but smile to yourself at the fact he can’t tell who you are. For one, you’re certainly dressed more provocatively for your job whereas Wade usually sees you in your pajamas and robe when you go out to get the mail in the morning. He also has no clue that you work here, even though you know Wade stumbles into Sister Margaret’s regularly. You turn on your heels abruptly to face him with a smirk. “Hello, Wade.”
Wade takes a step back, dumbfounded. “Wha-what? Y/N? What are you doing here?”
“She’s been working here for almost three years, dumbass,” Weasel chuckles.
“I see,” Wade says, giving you a once-over with his eyes. “I never pegged you for a girl who would be into the whole Coyote Ugly thing.”
“I’m not,” you defend. “We obviously don’t do that here.”
He takes a step closer to you, nearly backing you up against the wall. “Well, maybe now I wished we did.”
“All right!” Weasel yells, pulling Wade off of you and sitting him back down at his seat. “That’s enough out of you for the night. Stop hitting on my bartenders!”
Wade winks at you and you giggle, causing his stupid smile to grow more. You find yourself only working at the side of the bar he is sitting at as he talks to Weasel. Every few seconds he glances up and you, the two of you locking eyes for a few brief moments. This instills his confidence and makes him begin to wonder if maybe a girl like you would be into someone like him, so he decides to give it a shot.
“Y/N,” he calls you over with the wave of his hand. “I’d love a blowjob from you.”
“What?”
Weasel groans. “It’s a drink that he has me make.” He stirs the drink together and tops the shot off with some whipped cream. “Here you go, asshole.”
Wade smirks at you. “Now, be a dear and send this blowjob over to that table over there.”
“The one with the giant, scary men?” you ask, picking up the drink.
“Bingo.” He nods. “Tell fat Gandolf that Dusty over there is the one that bought it for him.”
You cringe. “Fuck, Wade. You know that they’re not gonna like that.”
“That’s exactly why I do it.”
You walk over to the table and drop the drink off for the man, informing him that Dusty ordered it for him. He looks at you like you’re kidding but you just shrug and waltz back over to the bat next to Wade. The two of you watch the madness unfold as a stool is broken over Dusty’s head as men everywhere begin fighting and attacking each other everywhere. Wade watches the bar go wild with a childish grin.
“So you don’t like to get involved in the fights?”
“Nope,” he shakes his head. “I just like to start them.”
The rest of the night you find yourself leaning over the bar and chatting with Wade. The drinks Weasel has let you sneak intoxicate you, making you feel tipsy and confident. Wade is surprised but how much you’re talking as he usually receives giggles or short statements from you. He is also surprised by how you genuinely find his inappropriate humor funny. Weasel jumps in on the conversation and asks Wade about his work today, causing him to stiffen up and become uncomfortable.
“It...uh...it was good.”
“Any good stories?” Weasel questions. “Usually you come sprinting in here with something legendary to tell me about whoever you fucked up.”
You raise an eyebrow. “Fucked up?”
“Yeah, fucked up.” He hesitates. “I’m a mercenary.”
“Retired!” Weasel corrects. “He’s a retired mercenary. He doesn’t really do the job anymore but he continues to help out people who pay him to fuck people up.”
“So, basically, you take down the bad guys?”
Weasel laughs proudly, patting Wade on the back. “That’s exactly what he does.”
You look into Wade’s concerned, brown eyes, reassuring him with a soft smile. “You’re like a superhero.”
“No,” he retorts. “All I am is a bad guy who fucks up worse guys for money.”
“That’s the understatement of the year!” Weasel exclaims. “He almost always lets the kids off easy and gives the girls back their pay.”
“Why are you trying to make me sound like I’m some decent guy? Huh?” Wade snaps at Weasel.
You take his hand in yours comfortingly. “That’s because you are a decent guy, Wade.”
“See? Even Y/N thinks so!”
“Yeah, I see that, Sherlock,” Wade says, turning to face Weasel. “Now get lost so we can have a moment.”
Weasel rolls his eyes and begins walking away. “I wouldn’t really call that a moment. She barely touched your hand but...whatever.”
“Get lost quietly!” Wade chuckles.
“We were having a moment?” you ask.
“I mean, I like to think so.”
Feeling bold from the flirtation and alcohol, you lean forward and plant a kiss on his lips. He immediately returns the kiss, deepening it by being a hand to the back of your neck and entangling his fingers in your hair. You didn’t fear Wade like he thought you did and he certainly didn’t mind how different and innocent you were from him. He also didn’t mind how you kiss like you’re not sweet, shy, innocent. You kiss like a badass who wants to get in Wade’s pants.
Before you knew it, Wade Wilson, your neighbor of three years, quickly turned into your boyfriend.
A/N: Sorry that the ending to this sucked I lowkey had no clue where I was going with this fic lmao
permanent taglist: @lolabean1998 @thisismysecrethappyplace @crazystarlady @gloomybisexualemo @yougottalovefandoms
marvel taglist: @verkyun
x-men taglist: @spacesuitsforemergency
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the--sad--hatter · 5 years
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Name Changing (11)
FANDOM - MARVEL MCU, X-MEN, DEADPOOL
PAIRING - BUCKY X READER (female reader, no physical descriptions)
WARNINGS - ALL OF THEM, SMUT, VIOLENCE ANGST
DESCRIPTION -  Sequel to Name Calling After merging with your bloodthirsty alternate personality things start getting a little dicey. You’ve got two decades worth of anger to sort through, a feral mutation to figure out how to live with, a biological father who you hate trying to teach you control and if your wedding planner suggests teal for the bridesmaids again you might just eat her liver.
Luckily you have Bucky Barnes by your side, helping you figure things out. What Bucky doesn’t know is that you have found an outlet for the uncontrollable rage, one that absolutely nobody can know about. If your friends and family knew that you were out slaughtering people in the dead of night while they slept, they might be a little annoyed. Wade Wilson is happy to keep your secret though, so long as you keep bribing him with Mexican food. 
For as long as you could remember, all you had wanted was to be good. Now you’re seeing the temptation in the darkness.
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Chapter Eleven - The Stags 
While you were living it up in Vegas, the Stag Party was enjoying a sophisticated steak dinner at a private restaurant in Brooklyn.
It was a good thing Tony was paying, because between Thor, Steve, Bucky and Parker, at least two full cows had been eaten.
“Alright, attention please. All eyes on me.” Tony announced.
Loki, Thor, Steve, Bruce, Vision, Peter, Clint and Bucky obliged the eccentric billionaire.
“I just wanted to be the centre of attention for a moment because the next few days are going to be all about my child.” Tony joked.
“It is a privilege of any parent to be outshone by their offspring.” Thor said sagely.
“Speech!” Peter called.
“Groom, you wanna take this?” Tony asked.
Bucky looked around at the expectant faces and took a deep breath.
“Seventy years ago I would chase down any skirt in the hopes of finding ‘the one’. It never occurred to me that she was waiting for me at the other end of a long and difficult journey. There are things about the journey I would change if I could.” He said, glancing at Tony.
“But she once told me that all the pain she went through, she wouldn’t change because it might mean she didn’t end up on the path that led her to me. I would take away every bit of her pain if I could but I wouldn’t change mine and risk loosing her.” He finished.
“You truly do love her.” Loki said with no small amount of wonderment.
“More than anything.” Bucky agreed.
Loki fixed his expression into one of boredom.
“Well congratulations Brother Barnes, I’m sure you and your love shall be very happy.” Loki toasted.
“And may they be blessed with many strong healthy children!” Thor added.
Tony choked on his scotch and spat it out across the table.
“NO! Absolutely not! My baby is not having a baby!” He spluttered.
“I believe it is her choice as it is her womb, regardless of well wishes or her fathers instructions.” Loki sniped.
“I’m with Mr Loki.” Peter agreed.
“Well it’s not as if they don’t get enough practice in.” Clint sniggered.
“No they don’t!” Tony shrieked.
“Stark, what do you think they’re doing that they keep needing to replace the bedframe?” Clint asked.
“She’s jumping up and down on the bed, she’s whimsical like that.” Tony insisted.
“She’s jumping on something.” Steve interjected and after a moment of shock that it was the Captain who had said it, everyone except Tony and Bucky started laughing.
Bucky looked deeply uncomfortable and Tony looked like he was torn between being sick and leaping across the table to throttle Bucky.
“Barnes, a word?” Tony said, standing up and throwing his napkin down on the table.
Bucky wordlessly got up and followed Stark outside. Tony put his hands in his pockets and looked up at the sky like he was searching the stars for the right words to say.
“It wouldn’t have mattered if it wasn’t you who killed them. Hydra would have found another way. It’s taken me a long time to fully come to terms with that. So I’m going to say this once, only once and know that I mean it. I forgive you.” Tony said.
Bucky didn’t know what to say and his eyes started to sting as the weight of Tony’s words settled over him.
“Stark... I can’t change what I did but you have to know that I am in control now and I swear, I will never hurt her.”
“I know. I’m not going to threaten you, I don’t need to. I know you love her.” Tony said.
There was a moment of silence between them before Tony clapped his hands together.
“Well, that’s over. Let’s never do this heart to heart thing ever again ok?”
“Agreed.”
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“A strip club? Really?”Tony asked, amused.
“Don’t blame me for this one. It was Sam, he insisted.”Steve defended himself.
“So you’re the man who’s marrying our favourite little Kitten?” One of the dancers said, eyeing Bucky.
“Your favourite kitten? As in my daughter? You know my daughter.” Tony checked.
“Oh yeah, Deathwave’s a regular. She’s a great tipper.”
“She’s a what now?” Clint asked, beyond amused.
Bucky shrugged at Steve when his friend turned to him with a scandalised expression.
“Pal, I’m long past being shocked by my future wife’s behaviour.” He told the blonde.
Steve turned helplessly to Tony who also shrugged.
“She’s a Stark.”He said as if it explained everything.
“So Sam sent us to a stripclub that the bride frequents?” Clint laughed, holding his ribs as he realized how devious the Falcon had been.
“Uh, why is Parker here?” Steve asked.
“Strip Club’s are 18+ and he’s 18, he just can’t drink.” Tony answered, sounding very lawyer like.
“Gentlemen, let us begin the festivities in earnest.” Thor boomed, coming over with six large pitchers of beer.
“Brother, did you not think to get drinks for our friends?” Loki asked.
Thor had the grace to look sheepish and everyone was to amused to see Bucky clap Loki on the shoulder in pride for calling them his friends.
“You know, if I can find love after everything, you might just have a chance.” Bucky said with a smirk.
Loki rolled his eyes and pulled a flask from his pocket and passed it to Bucky.
“Do not make me regret befriending you Barnes.”
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“Let me tell you something, if you told me I’d be getting drunk with Loki to celebrate my child marrying Barnes....” Tony slurred and seemed to forget he was supposed to finish the sentence as he trailed off and his jaw dropped.
Peter and Loki turned around to see what he was looking at and saw Steve Rogers, Captain America sat at a booth on the other side of the club, laughing uproariously, a woman tucked under each arm.
“I’ve had to much to drink. I’m hallucinating.” Tony whispered.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - -
“Go Parker!” Clint yelled.
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“Someone’s is filming this right?” Clint checked.
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“Buck.” Steve yelled, throwing his arm around his friends shoulders.
“Stevie.” Buck greeted, laughing at Steve’s inebriated state.
“I’m proud of you Buck. You found her, your girl and you went for it. You didn’t wait, you just went for it. I’m so proud of you.” Steve said, heartfelt despite the drunkeness.
“I didn't have a choice Steve, I really didn't. I need her.” Bucky admitted, not entirely sober himself.
“She’s a good girl and you better treat her right Punk.” Steve warned.
“Are you threatening me?” Bucky huffed in amusement.
“What? No, I’m warning you pal. She’ll obliterate you of you hurt her. That girl has a temper.” Steve chuckled.
Bucky laughed uproariously at the sheer honesty in the statement.
“I think Peggy would have loved her.” Steve said a little sadly.
“They would have been friends. Terrifying for the two of us though.” Bucky agreed and the two chuckled in bittersweet amusement.
“Hey, can you turn that up please?” Steve asked, pointing at the TV screen.
They all gradually turned to look at the screen.
“I’m live here in Las Vegas where The Avenger, Deathwave was celebrating her Hen Party until a few short moments ago when she entered into a deadly battle with Deadpool.” The reporter said and the camera focused on two figures on a rooftop behind her.
Bucky grasped the edge of the bar tightly as he watched Deadpool impale you with two Katanas. You headbutted the merc and pulled the blades out of your body and threw them aside.
Black veins rippled up your arms but before you could blast Deadpool he pulled out two guns and fired at you repeatedly. Your body jerked violently and you stumbled backwards, teetering precariously close to the edge of the roof.
The bar splintered under Bucky’s hand as he was forced to watch helplessly as you fell over the edge and plummeted towards the ground.
- - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - - 
This chapter was an absolute bitch to get out, I struggled with the worst case of writers' block I have ever had with it. Eventually, I realized it wasn't going to get any better and I needed to move on. For those wanting more heartfelt stuff, the reason there isn't more is because it's all in the actual wedding chapters (part of what made this so difficult). I'm somewhat pleased with what I eventually wrote and I hope you are as well.
@nerdandproud-86 @harrison-shot-first @thejourneyneverendsx @thelostallycat @inquisitor-selvala @the-corruptor @iovher @kendrawr-kitkat @phoenix-whiskey-tears  @the–real-wombat @buckitybarnes @fairislesheets @angieptt  @meganjonezzzz @dugan365 @fluffeh-kitty @memanda17  @krystallynx @theonelittleone  @piscesbarnes @free-as-fishes @tarastudiesalot @captainamericasbeard @dropthepizza346 @jaynnanadrews @likes-to-smell-books @drdorkus @life-wanderer @metalarmlover  @animegirlgeeky @jsmith509 @chipilerendi @nerdy-bookworm-1998 @ericasabe  @gravedollie666 @madlykpopfan @l0kisbitch @mywinterwolf @sassysweetstories @life-wanderer @jessieray98 @littledeadrottinghood @myfandomlife-blog @spnrvt @dahkness  @sexyvixen7 @dilaila95  @liveonce-sodoitright  @uuuuuuuuggggghhh @mywinterwolf @myfandomlife-blog  @pinkisokay @thosesexytexasboys
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wendynerdwrites · 5 years
Text
Guess who got a big chunk of writing done for the first time in months? This gal!
Okay, so here is a rough first chapter of a Metalocalypse fanfic, Dethcomics:
"Gentleman… It seems Dethklok is looking into joining the world of comic books. A call has gone out seeking artists and writers to create a Dethklok graphic novel."
"This could be catastrophic! Every new Dethklok industry venture manages to upset the balance of trade, but a band-sponsored book spreading their messages further?!"
"At least with their music no one can tell what Nathan Explosion is saying. But written in black and white?!"
"Exactly. To elaborate, I have called in expert in comics, Professor Varveil Molfirbygai."
The Professor, skinny and acne-ridden, comes forward, pushing his square-framed glasses up  the bridge of his nose. "Gentlemen, Dethklok have already rejected the proposals by Brian Posehn, Brian Piludo, and Grant Morrison for their books and are tearing through artists one at a time. At this rate, no one in the industry will be left but Rob Liefeld and Devin Grayson. Apparently their contradictory demands and unrealistic expectations have even been characterized by Alan Moore as 'too far out'. Marvel, DC, Image, and Dark Horse have all blacklisted them, leading to the band to launch their own independent publishing house. This could potentially upset the delicate balance of power within the industry. And God help us if the title is snatched up for screen adaptation by Sony or - ugh - Hulu."
"What can we do to nip this in the bud?"
"It seems that Nathan Explosion's new wife, Abigail Remeltindtdrinc and Charles Offdensen have taken a more direct role in monitoring the project. They may prove a stabilizing influence…"
~_~_~
"Ugh, Dildos!" William Murderface hurls his whiskey bottle to the corner of the game room. "These artsy-fartsy types are a bunch of egotistical, emotional dildos!"
"Ja, likes how obsessives and arrogants can yous gets?" Skwissgaar adds, shredding silently on his Gibson. "And sos delicate!"
Toki, leaning back from the Mortal Kombat machine, sniffs. "I's kinds of liked that Yoorerd Way fellows…"
"HE DIDN'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT ROCK!" Nathan roars from the foosball table, engaging in a fierce battle with Pickles.
"Maybe we should just write it ourselves, y'know." Pickles suggests, "And get, I don't know… Toki, you draw things, right?"
Toki brightens. "I'S DO!"
Skisgaar scoffs, "All's he's draws is girly, fluffy tings like happy bunnies and womens withts de tits covered."
"Toki is even less metal than that Brenden Smalls douchebag! Heh, Brenden Smalls, what did he ever create for anyone?" Murderface adds.
"I cans draw brutal!"
"I'm sure you can, Toki, but I'm afraid that still isn't happening," a firm, female voice calls out.
The room falls silent as Charles and Abigail enter the room. 
"Guys, Abigail may have found someone to write and draw the book," Charles announces.
Abigail blanches slightly, somewhat uncomfortable. "Maybe, if I can convince her."
"Her?" Murderface asks, somehow sounding simultaneously dismissive and aroused. "We can't let ladies make stuff for us!"
Abigail cradles her temple. "See?" She says to Offdensen, "I told you!"
"Why would we wants chicks arounds us?" Skwisgaar asks.
"Guys, we already put out the announcement. You've blown through nearly every acclaimed graphic novel creator in the business. Fans are getting impatient. So if we can get Abigail's friend to do this for us, you will be on your best behavior!"
"Maybe we should give this chick a chance, you know?" Nathan offers, offering his wife a sympathetic look.
"Oh, you're only saying that because your lady suggested it!" Murderface howls, taking a new bottle of alcohol from a Klokateer with a tray. "You're totally whipped, Man!"
Abigail's eyes burn. She smarches over to the couch and yanks the bassist by the ear. He cries out.
"Listen, you talentless sack of piss, this whole project has been taking time away from recording. And you know how I feel about that. You're going to be a good little boy and do as I say, understand?!"
"YES, MA'AM!"
Abigail releases him, leans back, clears her throat, and smooths her blazer. "I apologize for that. I am… not feeling like myself lately. Like I said, I haven't even convinced my friend to do this, I am not even sure I can. But you can all be sure of her qualifications. Her name is Sofia Maldonado, she's been creating comics since she was fifteen. She has worked on titles like The Boys, Swamp Thing, Ms. Marvel, Deadpool, Nightwing, and Batman. She has her own book, The Emerald Pixie, that has been a hit with both critics and readers and has been nominated for four Eisner Awards, winning two."
The band looks at her as if she is speaking Chinese. She sighs.
" Uh, 'Emerald Pixie'?" Nathan inquires, "No offense, Honey, but that doesn't sound very metal."
"The Pixie has retractable ten inch fangs."
"Oh, uh, that's cool, I guess."
"I mean, it can't hurt, I guess." Pickles adds.
"Is she hot?" Murderface asks.
"Yeahs, is she hot?" Skwisgaar asks.
Abigail turns to Charles. "Why am I doing this again?"
Offdensen pats the producer on the arm. "Guys, please, that is irrelevant. And you will keep things professional, or I am cancelling your vacation to Pornfest this year, understand?"
"What?! Can you even do that?!" Pickles cries out.
"As per my new contract with the five of you, I most certainly can." 
The band all grumbles, except for Toki.
"Cans I's shows her my drawings?"
"I'm sure that will be fine."
Abigail sighs. "Look, guys, this woman is a friend of mine, she is good at what she does, and she does not put up with crap. I am going out on a limb for you with this. One wrong move and she bolts. Understand?"
They all grumble again, but answer in the affirmative.
"Excellent." Charles straightens his tie and clears his throat. "Abigail will call up Ms. Maldonado and see if she is willing."
~_~_~_~
"No."
"Just lis-"
"No, Abby, and also: No. Nope. Negative. Nuh-uh. Nein. Not happening. They've run through almost everyone. Do you know how fucked up you have to be to weird out Alan Moore?! The man worships a Roman Snake God, for fucks sake. I am not descending into that pit of testosterone and excess."
"I will keep them in line, I promise. I managed to get them through six albums in as many years. Now that I'm involved, it will be different, I promise."
"Didn't William Murderface once refer to women as 'Serpents with tits'? Abby, I have reached a point in my career where I am through putting up with shit like this. I have had to collaborate with Garth Ennis and Frank Miller. I even spent an entire hour of my life in the presence of Dave Sims. I have done my time."
Abigail groans. "Sof, Charles Offdensen is offering enough for you to put Eddie through preschool, K-12 private, college and grad school someday."
"Emerald Pixie is selling like crazy and Paramount and Universal have approached me for the rights."
"I'll get you an interview for Collegiate."
There's a long pause. 
"...Really? How?"
"I'm an alum, remember? And the Headmistress owes me, like, seven favors. Your son will be playing in the sandbox with the children of Governors and hedge fund owners.”
There’s another pause. Abigail smiles. For all that Sofia has gone on about hating capitalism and her passion for Leftist politics, since her son was born she’d grown a little hypocritical on that front. Not that Abby could blame her. Sofia didn’t have a lot of support, being a single mom. 
“Maybe I’ll consider a meaning.”
Abigail tries a different tactic. “Please do. To be honest, I could really use a friend around here at the moment.”
It’s not something she’d normally say, as independent as she is. But as she makes the statement, she realizes that it’s true. 
Sofia’s voice becomes gentler. “What’s up?” 
Abigail tells her.
Her friend takes a deep breath. “Okay, then. I’ll take the meeting. But I mean it, Abby, one shitty comment---”
“---I know. But hey, look, you’ve met Nathan, and he’s not so bad, right?”
Technically, Sofia had encountered the entire band to varying extents at the wedding. She’d really only spoken to Nathan, and stared, mouth agape, at Pickles’s bender and slurred Best Man’s toast.
“He’s not too bad, I guess. But the rest? Bunch of crazy gringos.”
“Toki is sweet. Pickles actually isn’t bad when he’s not blackout drunk. Skwisgaar can be decent, aside from the arrogance. And Murderface… Don’t worry, I’ll keep my boot to his neck. I’ll keep my boots to all of their necks. I swear. Please, Sof, do this for me.”
Sofia takes yet another deep breath. “Alright. I’ll be available in a couple of weeks. Book me a flight. And I want my Collegiate interview before then.”
“Done. Thank you so much.”
They say their good-byes. Abigail hangs up and leans back against the pillows of her bed, rubbing her temple. Nathan enters the bedroom, looking a little sheepish. 
“Look, uh, I had another talk with the guys. Murderface is in debt again, so I offered to pay it off, if you don’t, uh, mind. That should help keep him… you know… less Murderface.” He sits down on the edge of the bed and takes her hand. “Did she say yes?”
  “We have a single meeting in two weeks. I’m pretty sure I’m going to draw up a list with Charles about things they are not allowed to bring up.”
“You’re sure this is a good idea, right?”
Abigail smiles ruefully. “No, not at all. But it’s the only idea I have.”
“I hope the guys don’t, well, uh, you know…”
“Sofia talks a big game, but she’s tough and willing to put up with more than she lets on. She wouldn’t be where she is if it were otherwise. If we keep them reined in enough, I think we might make this work.”
~_~_~_~_~_~_~_~
“Hey, I’s remembers her!”
“Shut up, Toki! Don’t be weird!” Pickles snaps as they watch their prospective new artist drop her bags in the middle of the Mordhouse entry hall and look up at the gargantuan ceiling. 
She is tall and athletic, with bronzed skin, blue eyes, and dark brown hair. She wears boot-cut black pants, a red graphic tee, and a black jacket with pins on the lapel. The band all peers at her curiously as Abigail rushes forward to greet her, ask after her son, and re-introduce Charles.
Handshakes are exchanged, and Abigail ushers the band over.
“Sofia, you of course remember my husband Nathan. This is Pickles, the drummer. Skwisgaar Skwigelf, lead guitar.”
“Hi’s.” Skwisgaar offers, obviously trying not to stare at her tits.
“Toki Wartooth, rhythm guitar.”
“Hello’s artist-lady!” Toki bounces on his heels, clutching sheets of paper. “I’s have some drawings, I hopes you like them!” He thrusts them towards her.
The artist smiles kindly and takes them. “I’ll give them a look. Thank you, Mr. Wartooth.”
“Calls me Toki!”
“Thank you, Toki.”
“And finally, William Murderface, bass.”
“Greetings and salutations, Senoriiiiiita!” Murderface grabs the woman’s hand and presses a wet kiss to it before smirking up at her. “Ole.”
Sofia snatches her hand back and glances at Abigail, who glowers at the bassist. “Knock it off, Murderface, or I’ll have you neutered.”
He squeals and jumps back. “S-Sorry.”
"So's, tells me, comics-lady. Cans we's makes dis comic book a pops-ups book and can we's makes the pop-up dragons breathes fire?"
Sofia takes one look at Toki, then another at Abigail. "I'm so glad to be here!"
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ifridiot · 5 years
Text
History
It's a quarter to six in the morning and i wrote this bc i hurt too much to sleep. Naia and Wade chilling and talking about bullshit after Nate got murderized by Bable. Warning for drug use, sex talk, and swears.
“The main difference between Nate and Daddy Scott,” Wade said, reclining into the sad, decrepit couch that took up the majority of his living room floor space, “other than, you know,” here he paused, making a soft sort of explosion sound and gesturing with both hands as if to vaguely encompass something large, “is that Nate fucks, and Cyke has literally never gotten his dick wet.”
Naia gives Wade a Look. Even with their eyes still covered by the mask, the look translates -- they can tell by the smile curling Wade’s mouth, the brightness of those wide white eyes. “I mean. Obviously if Cyclops is his dad, he’s fucked at least once.”
If you told Naia a year ago they’d be sitting in Deadpool’s apartment, with their mask rolled up and two of their hands working on packing a rather nice bowl with some expensive (or so Wade claimed) weed, talking about the sex life of a very famous X-Man in an effort to help Wade get over his ex’s (?) recent murder (suicide?), they would have rolled their eyes and asked for some of whatever you’d been smoking.
Now, as it’s occurring, it feels entirely natural. Fucking weird, no doubt, but natural the way it was natural to have mildly disgusting but ultimately light hearted conversations with a close friend.
“Yeah, they want you to think that,” Wade says, and pauses for Naia ask the obvious.
It takes them a second to realize that they’re supposed to actually supply the question. Wade often does the talking for both of them, but sometimes, usually when he’s feeling particularly lonely, he wants them to hold up their end. “Who wants me to think Cyclops has fucked, Wade?”
“Very important comma there, huh. Not that I’d say no to joining the ‘Has Fucked That Nerd’ club, but, you know, my loyalty is to Nate or whatever.”
Wade’s voice starts to go a little rough towards the end there, the way it does when he’s irritated or upset. Naia huffs and swats him across the shoulder.
“The writers, obviously,” Wade says, back on track. “They want you to think Cyke got busy a whole bunch, god bless their efforts.”
Naia makes a considering noise, feeling around for their lighter. When that’s not enough, they look at Wade again. “So who’s Cable’s real dad then?”
“Well biologically it’s still Scott, obviously, I mean that’s clear the second you see the eyes.”
Wade grins when Naia snorts at that. They may never have met Scott Summers in person, but they got the joke. You’d have to be dense not to, or at least hiding under a rock.
“But Scott’s just a sperm donor. Maddie took his spunk with telekinesis and made a baby that was so overpowered he had to be immediately nerfed with an alien virus that wanted to turn him into a fun sexy tentacle hentai monster. The metal kind.”
There’s the lighter, dear God, thank you. Naia grabs it, fumbles, catches it in another hand, and finally gets a hit, drawing deep before passing everything off to Wade. “Well,” they say on the exhale, “that’s disgusting. And definitely not what happened, except possibly in your fanfiction.”
“Hey, speaking of, did you subscribe to my AO3?”
“Dear god, no,” Naia lied, shuddering in a way that was only partially burlesque. “I do not need any more nightmare bullshit than what my own brain produces.”
Wade laughs at that, a genuine laugh, without the weird ache underneath it, and when he leans against Naia, pipe drawn up so he can take another hit, they let him shift so they can wrap both arms on that side around him, holding him.
He goes very still, just for a second, all the mirth gone out of him, and then he exhales, sagging against Naia as though all the weight and gravity of the world is on him, so he can’t possibly support himself. They press their hands against his side, his back, and hold him close.
Told a month ago that they’d be the person who’s shoulder Wade was most comfortable crying on, Naia would have laughed. Wade didn’t cry on shoulders, Wade laughed everything off, or else got mad and killed, maimed, or broke whatever had hurt him. He didn’t need a shoulder.
Now, as it’s occurring, Naia finds this to be as simple, as easy, as everything seems to be with Wade. He doesn’t sob, so much, more just sort of leaks snot and tears against their side. The coveralls need a wash anyway, and they’ve had worse on them than a little mucus.
“Thanks for puttin’ up with this shit,” Wade says when the wave of emotion finally subsides, so Naia almost chokes on their draw off the pipe. ‘Genuine’ is almost as foreign from Wade as ‘gratitude’, and that sounded like both.
“Course.”
“He’s gonna come back. Getting worked up is dumb. He’d laugh if he…”
“Nah. You call yourself a fic writer? Nate saw your nasty ass weeping bitter tears over his grave, he’d go full Ghost -- you know, the movie, Patrick Swayze, Hold Me Close, that bullshit -- with you.”
“I dig that you see me as Demi Moore.”
“With that voice?”
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kob131 · 5 years
Text
RWDE Story Comparison 1: Dudeblade Part 1
https://rwdestuffs.tumblr.com/post/181687313437/done-dirty-word-choice
I’d give you the middle finger Dudeblade but I cut it so I’ll just settle for verbally tearing you apart.
You assholes wanna talk to other writers? FIne, better make sure you don’t share the same blind spots.
Truer words have never been spoken.
Not entirely sure how to break this down.
Basically, the choice in words is important. In a non-comedic series like this one, fans, theorists, and critics are going to comb over pretty much every detail.
Except that in a different post, when someone (suspicious you never mention WHO considering this is before Monty’s death) you bitch at the writers for a joke. An even then, people combed over Red Vs.Blue when it is largely comedic so that doesn’t work here.
Why am I doing this? Cuz Dudeblade is gonna try to use comedy as a defense since I’m gonna be using his precious fanfic.
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Easy example: The word choice on how Qrow describes his semblance (fun fact: I have this particular screenshot labeled “Qrow being a melodramatic piece of shit” on my laptop).
Now, with the phrase “It’s always there, whether I like it or not.” Heavily implies that it’s on 24/7. That he has no control over it whatsoever. However…
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This clarification from the Reddit AMA then says that Qrow’s semblance isn’t at all how he worded it. Now, this could be because even Qrow doesn’t know his semblance that well, but given that these are the writers whose response to being given an out by a fan who theorized that the reason Zwei survived all that stuff in Volume 2 was because Tai unlocked his aura was “There’s this thing called ‘Anime.’” I doubt that they’ll use that reason.
Funny thing:
"Indeed." Ganon added, "Do you want an update on that curse that I cast?"
Lex hummed and nodded in response. "Well, it took hold of the one that the emotionally weakest. They should be turning into a being of near-insufferableness soon."
"I'm pretty sure that 'insuferableness' isn't a word." Lex mentioned.
"It does not matter." Ganon replied, "Soon, we shall be able to use one of their own against them."
"Why the one with the most glaring emotional weaknesses, though? Wouldn't a much more stable victim be more useful to our cause?"
"The curse works in mysterious ways, Luthor. We must first force them on our side. Then, we break the heroes from the inside." Ganon replied.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11815703/104/Aftermath-The-DB-Chronicles
Why was the change so drastic? - Because time travel That's why.
https://www.deviantart.com/dudebladex/journal/Mewtwopoint-of-Future-Past-Alt-Timeline-battles-694649032
You’ve pulled that shit yourself.
So if it’s NOT okay when Miles does it, why did YOU do it?
Here’s another example:
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Jaune knowing about Yang’s mom. Given Yang’s dialogue with Blake back in Volume 2, we can gather that it’s a very important secret to her. Given her reaction to Qrow knowing where Raven was but never telling her, we also know that for a fact. Given that Yang said that Ruby was a bit too young when she went on her “I want to find my mom” search to remember, we can gather that it’s likely that even Ruby doesn’t know. But, even if she did know, what reason does she have to tell RNJR?
Was she all “Hey guys! Let’s all share secrets with each other as a trust exercise! I’ll go first! Yang’s been searching for her biological mom for over ten years!”???
See, if it had been Ruby who had said Jaune’s line, we could gather that, yeah. Yang probably told her what happened. But we don’t get that. Instead, we get Jaune asking about it. Which either implies a betrayal of trust either on Qrow’s part, or on Ruby’s part. Either way, one of those two shared information that was very personal and important to Yang, and it was… brushed over.
IBurnBlonde: What, are you planning on dating me or something? IBurnBlonde: T? IBurnBlonde: Tifa? IBurnBlonde: Seriously. It's been ten minutes. What happened? IBurnBlonde: Forget it. I'm signing off. * * * [LockYourHeart has made a Private Chat With Buster Blader] LockYourHeart: Cloud! I need your help! Buster Blader: What is it? Did Yang confess her love to you? LockYourHeart: No, but she almost figured out that I have plans to date her! Buster Blader: smh… You didn't go on your tirade about how nobody deserves her, did you? LockYourHeart: … Buster Blader: You dug yourself in this, Tifa. I'm not digging you out. LockYourHeart: You are absolutely no help. Buster Blader: If you want help, as Link. Speaking of, I think he's in the main chat. LockYourHeart: Really? We might get to see how he chats with people? Buster Blader: Yep. Buster Blader: Tifa? Buster Blader: You did this to Yang, didn't you?
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11815703/103/Aftermath-The-DB-Chronicles
Why do I bring this up? This is a betrayal of Yang’s trust in Tifa except Tifa is doing it for far more selfish and creepy reasons.
Again, apparently it’s okay when DUdeblade does it.
And as for a third example, we have this:
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If the narrative or writers wanted to paint Tai as a “Father who is trying to work through his loss to take care of his kids” then these lines of dialogue don’t help in the slightest. “
"What?" Jaune asked, "Are you seriously going to tell us that we need to go out there? - I already lost enough people in my life, thank you very much."
"Then you aren't cut out for the real world, kid." Frank said, "I lost my wife and children, and I still go out to keep the city clean of criminal scum every day. But you?" He gestured to the swordsman, "You only lost someone you barely paid attention to. That was your only personal loss. Everyone else here lost more than you, more than once, and we still go out there to fight." Jaune was at a loss for words. "So make your decision. Live and hide, or fight and die.
" "Your girlfriend chose the second option. But considering that you couldn't be bothered to even try to save one of your other friends after bemoaning losing everything earlier, I guess it's no surprise that you can't be bothered to try when it's the whole world at stake." Deadpool sneered.
https://www.fanfiction.net/s/11815703/134/Aftermath-The-DB-Chronicles
"Klicks? What are those?" Jaune asked, "Can't we use a distance people actually know? Like Kilometers?"
"How did you get into a prestigious combat school without knowing this basic combat stuff again?" Chun-Li jeered.
"I uh…" Jaune stuttered. "He cheated." Tucker clarified, "He wasn't sent there to be used as a test dummy, he actually cheated."
"So, why doesn't he know the basics?" Chief asked in an annoyed tone. "I heard from Blake that he slept in class and spent most of his study time reading comics." Cheetara mentioned,
"That probably has something to do with it." Jaune sighed, "Can we just… drop it? Please?"
"This is going to escalate later." Mega Man realized, "I don't know how, but it will."
"Seriously, were you reading a comic book while we were doing the debriefing on the way here?"
"No!" "He actually wasn't." Tucker defended, "He was busy crying over a picture of his girlfriend that he has on his phone."
"There are other people who lost more than you." Master Chief pointed out, "Also, two Klicks to Joker and Skull's battleground."
"Guts definitely lost more than you." Doomguy pointed out, "How someone on the internet thought that you had the worse life than him is beyond me, but whatever."
"Guts has not had a 'worse life' than mine!" Jaune whined. "How so?" Chief asked, putting his binoculars away.
"His girlfriend's still alive." Jaune said, as if it proved his point.
Everyone else was silent. Even one Predator facepalmed at the statement.
"Starting to see why Guts said that nobody would miss you." Tucker sighed, "You make pain be all about yourself, and don't let anyone else mourn.”
"Please." Mega Man sighed, "Please tell me that you're making a joke that's in poor taste and that you don't actually believe that."
"Uh, it… kinda is…" Jaune trailed off.
"Oh my God." Tucker snarled, "You actually think that?"
"Well, I don't know his life!" Jaune defended.
"His girlfriend was violated!" Sonya screamed, "I swear, if you actually think that dying is a worse fate than that, then I'm throwing you out there to get killed!"
"See, this is why nobody likes you." Doomguy pointed out, "You don't care about anybody but yourself, and put more people in danger than you actually save."
"The only thing worse than baggage is baggage that whines and complains all the time." Master Chief replied, "Get your priorities straight kid. People might let failures slide if you actually try, but if you just look away from a friend about to be killed without trying to save them, then you aren't any better than the killer."
"How so?" Jaune asked, "All I hear is 'Jaune, you suck at this!' or 'Arc, you suck at that!' but I never hear any ideas of how to improve!"
"Did you ask?" Mega Man asked, deflecting some plasma blasts with his Mirror Buster. "Well uh, no… But-"
"No buts." The Blue Bomber replied, "It's not our job to 'open the door' for you and offer advice. You have to be willing to accept it, and acknowledge that you have things to improve on!"
"Yeah, I mean, I was willing to listen to Wash when he was offering some tips on how to be a better leader back on Chorus. But you just grunt and walk away." Tucker pointed out, taking his sword out of another Hydra soldier.
"You aren't complaining that it's hard to improve," Orchid growled, "You're complaining that it's not 'magically happening' automatically."
"Beat has the area covered. We can move on to the next sector." Mega Man reported.
"You can either stay here, or keep going." Tucker said to Jaune, who was visibly shaken up, "But we're not going to be playing babysitter. I get enough of that with Caboose. Except Caboose can actually fight."
Our HEROES ladies and gentlemen, showing even LESS empathy than Dudeblade’s delusions he calls Taiyang Xiao Long. For those of you who don’t know, Dudeblade hates Taiyang because he called Yag’s depression ‘moping.’ And yet here is his HEROES, the guys we’re suppose to be ROOTING FOR, mocking Jaune for the exact same thing, using arguments Dudeblade as decried as immoral and sociopath.
Once again, not okay for RWBY but a FAR FAR FAR worse version is okay for Dudeblade.
Overall, these lines and details don’t have a lot of thought put into them. They’re used to further develop characters, but the writers don’t realize the implications of who is saying it, what they are saying, and why the choice of words matter.
I could bring up in each instance how Dudeblade is fucking up, whether it be that Qrow doesn’t understand his Semblance, that Yang could have old JNPR like Blake told them about her race or the numerous arguments about Taiyang but you’ve heard it all before. Instead let me prove to you that RWDE has no fucking idea what it is doing, By showcasing that for every single bitch they deal out: they commit the same if not WORSE sin.
The issue from them isn’t the action: it’s just the person who did it they hate.
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imfucking-magical · 7 years
Text
Sick Peter
A/n: Hey lovelies! I’ve been having some pretty bad writers block and have been busy with some school as well. I know this one is kinda small, but hope you enjoy anyway. 
Also please send in requests!!!! Please. Pretty please
Summary: When Peter gets sick its worse than a normal human.
“Ned where is Peter I haven’t seen him at all today?”
“May made him stay home because he’s sick. I went over yesterday and his room was a tornado. I mean worse than the usual tornado. I also think he got me sick. I feel a scratchy throat coming on.”
“I’ll go see him after school.”
Neither May or Peter opened the door so I used my spare key to get in and saw that the place was a mess. I picked up the trash that missed the can and washed the dishes and fixed the couch that was disassembled everywhere.
It was very quiet so I assumed both of them were sleeping and would probably want to eat something that wasn’t canned when they woke up. 
May always keeps her fridge stocked since Peter eats almost 2x his weight each meal. The chicken noodle soup got started and pretty soon May wandered out of her room with a blanket around her shoulders.
“Y/n? I didn’t realize you were here.” 
“I made soup. Ned told me Peter was sick so I wanted to come and see if he was ok ,but I thought you guys were asleep and so.... soup.” I told her.
“That’s very sweet. You even cleaned up and it smells delicious.”
“It’ll be done in like 5 to 10 minutes since it’s been on for awhile.”
“You haven’t checked on Peter yet? When you do be quiet and careful. His room is a mess. More than usual.”
“So i’ve been told.” I smiled and carefully went to walk in his room.
The door pushed stuff out of the way as I walked in. I literally could not see the floor with all the clothes and tissues lying around. He was still sleeping and next to him was a 2 liter of ginger ale and saltine crackers.
I threw most of his clothes into his basket and the tissues in his trash before I washed my hands and took my sweatshirt off. He had May’s humidifier going and the heat all the way up and I was starting to sweat. My sweatshirt hung over the edge of his bed and I sat by his head to brush away his hair.
He shot up. “Y/n?”
“I made soup if you’re feeling up to it. Or I can get more saltines if you aren’t?”
“You’re going to get sick.” His voice was all scratchy and an about half an octave lower.
“Well someone has to get you and May to eat.” He sighed.
“ Well I was puking for about an hour straight so I don’t know if soup will be good. I had soup earlier and puked it up.”
“So saltines?”
“yea and maybe just a small bowl of soup. This isn’t the canned one right?”
“Nope.”
I got up and came with a bowl that wasn’t all the full and a new carton of saltines. He ate all the soup pretty fast along with the entire carton of saltines.
“I guess you’re feeling better.” I told him.
“I mean I still feel pretty shitty. My head hurts and its cold.” He pulled the covers tighter around him as I took his bowl away to the kitchen. When I came back he was groaning and laying on his side.
“Do you need to puke?” 
“No my head and throat hurt.”
“Did you take medicine?”
“No......”
“Peter are you that dense? I’ll get you an Advil or do you prefer Tylenol???”
“I can’t sdolwojrpill” He whispered into his blanket.
“What?”
“ I can’t swallow the pill. There I said it. I’m a sixteen year old who can’t take a tiny ass pill.” He groaned making me laugh.
“You do realize you can crush it up and put it in food right?”
“What?”
“Honestly why do I even ask?” I said rolling my eyes and laughing at him. 
I left and crushed up an Advil and mixed it in with applesauce. 
“What are you doing?” May asked.
“Peter can’t swallow a pill.”
“He cant? I’ll show him how later.” She smiled putting her empty bowl in the sink then headed over to the couch and turned on the t.v.
“Peter I have your medicine.” I handed him the bowl of applesauce.
“Thank you.” While he ate I looked at his clock and realized it was getting really late.
“Hey I have to go soon. It’s getting late.” I went to get my sweatshirt, but it wasn’t at the edge of the bed anymore.
“Peter where did my sweatshirt go?” I asked looking around the room for it.
“I don’ know.” He pulled the blankets closer to him.
I smiled and crossed my arms across my chest “Peter are you wearing my sweatshirt?” 
“What?! No I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
I pulled on his covers sending him shivering and saw him in my sweatshirt. “So you’re a liar now???”
He groaned and curled up “Its just soooo softtttt.”
“That’s because I bought it in the mens section. You can wear it. I’ll just steal one of yours and go home.”
“Noooooo. Don’t leave.” He whined stretching his arms out towards me.
“Peter I have school tomorrow.”
“You can still go to school. It’ll just be a sleepover.”
“You’re sick I don’t want to keep you awake Peter.”
“Y/n pleaaaaaasssssseeee.” His voice cracked as he shivered.
I sighed picking up the covers and sat on his bed.
“Alright.” I pulled the covers back around him and pressed my lips to his forehead which was burning. “Do you want some more soup? You’re burning up.”
“No. I’m not hungry.I’m just really cold. Cuddle?????” 
I laid on his pillow and pulled him on top of me and he stopped shivering as he rested his head on my chest.
“Better?”
“Mmmhmmm” I ran my fingers through his hair and felt him relax more into me as he played with my other hand.
“Night Parker.” I told him as I felt myself fall asleep with the warmth he radiated.
Next day I showed up to chem sporting Peter’s sweatshirt since he still had mine and Ned was surprised to see me.
“How are you not sick? You spent the whole afternoon and nigh over in the disease ridden apartment. Even aunt may got sick.” Ned sniffled.
“I’ve got super powers didn’t ya know?” I joked.
“You mean like deadpool?” He poked me with a pencil.
“Nope. Just a really good immune system.”
“Dude what are you doing here?” I turned around to find that Ned was talking to Peter. He was in my sweatshirt slouching with tired eyes. He was better than yesterday.
“I can’t miss the Spanish test.” His voice was barely above a whisper.
“Yes you can go back home.” I told him trying to push him back out of the class before the bell rang.
 “Y/n I’m seriousss.” 
“Go home. I’ll take it for you.”
“How?”
 “You have Spanish two periods before me. I can miss english and go to your Spanish class dressed like you. I already know how to copy your handwriting. Now go before you infect the whole school.”
“But he’ll notice it isn’t me.”
“ Not if I sit in the back with the hood on and hair tucked in. He knows you’re sick so he’ll probably just think you aren’t feeling well.”
“I don’t know....” his voice disappeared the more he talked and he was wobbling at this point.
“Peter I swear if you don’t go now I won’t come over later.”
“Alright nice to see you guys I’m going back to bed.” Peter waved good bye.
I showed up at Peter’s apartment and a sick May in sweatpants with a messy bun opened the door.
“I brought more soup!”I told her
“Y/n you are a savior.” She let me in and grabbed a bowl from the cupboard.
“ How is Peter doing?”
“Well he was asleep for a bit and I think he is awake now because he said you would be coming over.”
I opened his door to find him in a fort of blankets in which I had to refrain from laughing at.
“Did you leave any blankets for May? She’s sick too you know.” I said slipping his sweatshirt off. 
“How’d the test go?”
“Pretty good. Like I said he didn’t even realize that I wasn’t you.” 
“How did you learn my handwriting again?” He asked opening part of his blanket fort to me.
“Dont worry bout it Parker.” I winked at him and slid under his arm into his side. “ now you can go get some more soup that I brought and then we can watch tv or something.”
“I love you. You’re the best.” My heart stopped and I tensed against his side.
“What?” I looked up at him.
His eyes widened when he realized what he said. “ I-i said I love you a-and you’re the b-best. You’re always there for everything no matter how big or small and I just...”
“Love you too Parker.” 
Permanent taglist: 
@allison0609 @kisshuggay @softbbyboye @gothamsblackqueen @frostbyte-horan @ginger-wayward-assbutt @thefridgeismybestie @lexibc
@inumorph (Hi i didn’t know if you wanted to be tagged in everything or if you just wanted it as a temporary for one of my past fics. If you wish to be untagged from this post let me know!)
Let me know if you wanna be added to the taglist. Also I’m thinking of just putting my user name as a tag in whatever fics I post so you can find stuff by me if you guys want. Also I know I said it before, but if you have a request don’t be shy! Enjoy the day lovelies
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anonymous-wolf22 · 4 years
Text
Survey 8
Last time you were attacked by an animal?
Today, about 6 hours ago.
Are you paranoid all the time or just during the night?
Neither.
Have you ever dated someone without knowing their name?
No, why the fuck would anyone do that?
Has a stranger ever asked for your phone/cell number?
No.
Would you help a friend bury a dead body?
Yes. Depending on which friend.
Do you have bad posture?
Sometimes.
Have you ever spelled the word ‘grammar’ wrong?
No, I’m a fucking great speller.
If someone cusses/swears a lot, do you assume they have bad grammar?
No, you know what they say about assuming things, you just make an ass out of u and me.
Is there someone you are avoiding?
Yes.
Is there someone that is avoiding you?
.....
Would you only date people that have the same skin tone as you?
FUCK NO!!! Racist motherfucker.
Are your parents/guardians picky about who you date?
Heh, everyone is entitled to their own opinions, but not them. They can fuck off.
If you go to an all-you-can-eat buffet, how much do you really eat?
A lottttt
If you need to ask a question in class do you raise your hand?
Used to. That’s what like everyone’s teachers wanted them to do in school.
How about speak out loud?
No, we would’ve gotten in trouble for that.
How many times have you been engaged (if any at all)?
Just once, and it’s the best thing ever~
What do you think of the United States?
Ew, fuck. I absolutely hate it. Get me outta this fucking country now please.
Is the United States really the best country in the world?
Definitely not. My answer is a biased answer though.
Do you know where your femur is?
I...think so....?
Do you believe everything you read?
No.
Do you have to see something to really believe it?
Depending on what we’re talking about.
Have you ever gotten so dehydrated that you passed out?
Yes.
If your friend was being cheated on, would you tell them?
Fuck yeah. It wouldn’t be nice to let my friend get hurt like that. It’s easier to tell them sooner rather than later. 
Are you allowed to go off school campus to eat lunch?
Only when we were Juniors. That was the minimum grade for it.
Have you ever been called something and you didn’t know what it meant?
I think so, yeah.
Do you believe everyone is gifted with something?
Yes.
Are you sick and tired of life?
Eh, so-so.
Are you loving life?
Not really life itself, but what I have gotten out of being alive~
Have you ever been busted for underage drinking?
Have yet to drink.
Would you ever change your whole appearance?
If my boyfriend wanted me to, yes, in an instant.
Do you easily give into peer pressure?
No.
Do you have a picture of you and your lover kissing?
Not yet~
Would you become a mathematician if you could?
Fuck no, I hate math and I’m terrible at it.
Have you witnessed a fight at school?
Yes.
Have you ever wanted to grab someone by the throat and squeeze until their head explodes?
Yessss.
Anywho, what’s your favorite movie?
Suicide Squad 1 and Deadpool 1 & 2.
Any movies you’re just dying to see?
Lord of The Rings.
How’s the love life?
Fuck, best thing ever~
Do you have a messy signature?
Not really.
What color are your nails at the moment?
They aren’t colored.
When’s the last time you got a text?
Like 10 minutes ago.
What song is currently resonating through your ear drums?
Hold On - Chord Overstreet and Baby Don’t Cut - Bmike.
What’s your greatest fear?
Being separated from my fiance and dying alone.
How many hours of sleep did you get last night?
4.
Would you consider yourself morbid?
Yes.
Do you keep your nails long or short?
I have a habbit on chewing my nails, but I do want them to be semi-long.
What was the last thing you said out loud?
"She said 11 pm! Where did you get 9 pm from?!”
What was the last thing you stopped yourself from saying?
That I want to move to England.
Who was the last person to call you baby?
My fiance~
Does your name begin with the letter J?
No.
C?
No.
R?
No.
K?
Yes.
S?
No.
Do you need a shower at the moment?
No.
Do you use Bing.com?
No.
What’s the last thing you looked up on any search engine?
’Surveys | Bold what applies to you’
Have you ever considered a career as a porn star?
Nope.
What was the last lie you told?
That I don’t have a partner/boyfriend/fiance/SO
Do you remember the last thing you typed in a Word document?
Yeah, it was another survey that was private for my fiance.
How many pictures do you have saved on your computer?
Of me? None. Of anime/other things? Tons.
Would you consider yourself artistic?
Maybe.
Has anyone told you that you were a good writer?
Nope.
^Do you believe them?
Believe what?
What all do you have pierced?
Ears.
Are there any piercings your currently waiting to get?
No.
What color is your phone?
Gray. 
When was the last time you sneezed?
The other day.
When was the last time you shaved?
Last night.
What’s the longest you’ve ever had your hair?
It's at it's longest right now, halfway down my back.
Are you sleepy at the moment?
No.
What can you see through the window closest to you?
Barely anything, it’s too dark. But I kind of see my mailbox and G-MA’s car.
Have you ever just wanted a re-do on life?
No.
Who/what did you last take a picture of?
My cat.
Do you take pictures of yourself just for Myspace or Facebook?
No.
What were you like 5 years ago?
I was 16 and a major bad boy/play boy and emo.
10?
I was 12, and was very silent.
15?
I was 7 and in love with Usher.
Have you ever wanted a mohawk? A real, 2-foot tall, multicolored mohawk?
No.
When was the last time you spent over $10.00?
Oh, $10, I thought it said $10,000 lol. That would be yesterday’s groceries.
Take a guess - do you have more pairs of socks or underwear?
Socks.
Do you think you could hop on one leg to your kitchen without falling?
Yes, I have good balance - my cat on the other hand..... just knocks my books down as I’m writing this ;-;
Right now, are you wearing eyeliner?
No.
Are you better or worse off than you were two years ago?
Eh, better I guess.
As a kid, what was your favorite playground activity?
The Monkey Bars.
Who do you wish karma would bite in the ass?
My ENTIRE Family!
Have you ever given yourself a google diagnosis when you were sick?
Probably.
Could you (willingly) go ten days without touching a computer?
No, because that would be 10 days of not talking to my fiance.
Have you ever dropped anything in a toilet on accident?
I keep having a vague memory of dropping toilet paper in the toilet....but I don’t really know for sure.
BAM! Chocolate no longer exists. Do you miss it?
GIVE IT BACK YOU MONSTER!!!!!
What is the most annoying sound in your opinion?
Hmmm.... I don’t really know.
QUICK! Fill in the blanks: I wish that _______ would kiss me right now.
My fiance~
Who have you texted today?
My fiance.
Who did you last have over your house, why were they there?


...John, ugh. He was here to help my grandma with life insurance stuff, he works at State Farm and is a ‘friend’ of the family.
What was the last thing to piss you off?


Me. Cause I fell asleep.
Recently, who in your house has gotten on your nerves the most?


Shit, that’s a tie between my brother and my Mom.
What all has pissed you off today, if anything at all?

Not much, just the dogs that tried to bite me when I was riding my bike down the road today.
What does the 10th text in your inbox say?
That a new chapter to a fan-fiction book series I’m reading was released.
How about the 20th sent text?


Haven’t sent anything.
Out of all of your friends, who have you gotten in the worst fight with?


Hmm, probably David. When he had a migraine and told me he was going to lay down and I messaged him like 30 minutes later :( I regret it.
Who was the last person to have to deal with you having an attitude?


My Mom.
If you had $100, how would you spend it?


Is that enough to buy a plane ticket to England?
What’s something you would love to have happen right now?


To move to England and cuddle with my fiance.
You were given the opportunity to get a new cellular device, what do you choose?


Any phone, as long as I could text and send images to my fiance.
How nice of a person are you, honestly?
I'm nice, yeah. But piss me off and you'll be sorry.
What good things have happened today?


Me and my fiance talked.
Is there something you should be doing right now, besides this survey?


Eh, sleeping.
Who was the last person you made plans with?

My Mum.
How many days until your birthday?
I can't be bothered counting, but it's 5 months away.
How old was the last person you kissed?
Haven’t kissed anyone yet.
When do you usually get up in the morning?
Depends on when I go to bed. Varies from 2 am to 6 pm usually.
Where is your favorite place to be when you are sad?
In the dm’s with my fiance.
Do you have any nicknames?
K, (fiance’s nicknames for me:) Kitten, Kitty~
Who was the last person to make you smile?
My fiance.
What color is the floor in the room you are in?
It’s a carpet that’s like a dark-blue-gray-mix.
Have you ever been in a confessional?
??
Do you have blue eyes?
Yes.
Do you have red hair?
No.
Are you Jewish?
No.
Are you taller than 5’6?
Nope ;-;
Are you closer in age to a 10 year old or a 30 year old?
30.
Have you ever broken a finger?
Yes.
What color was the last car you were in?
Red.
Do you have a curfew?
I’m 22, wtf do you think??
Have you ever made out with someone who was just a friend?
Yep.
What month were you born?
July.
How long is your hair?
Halfway down my back.
Do you prefer baths or showers?
Either or.
What would you do if your parents died suddenly?
I can’t wait, I’d be celebrating.
How old will you be in 7 years?
29.
What is the closest holiday to your birthday?
July 4th, Independence Day.
Was today a good day?
Yeah.
What does your last incoming text say, who was it from, and how do you feel about that person?
It;s from twitch notifying me that a channel I followed has went live. And I feel nothing to them.
Did you have a New Year’s kiss?
No.
Are there any words that you cannot pronounce or that you pronounce incorrectly?
Yep.
After a long day at work or of doing something physical what tends to hurt more? Your back or your feet?
My Legs and feet.
Do you have a smart phone? If so, what’s your favorite app?
Nope.
Who would you say is the overall best person you know, and why?
My fiance~ Because, I know everything about him, and I would die for him or kill for him, I don’t do that for many people.
If you had to choose between being a nurse or an English teacher which would you choose and why?
English, because I like spelling.
Do you have a specific gas station you usually go to? Or do you stop wherever?
----
How much older than you was the oldest person you have dated/had a relationship with?
I am 22 and he is 29~ You do the math.
Is anything stressing you out at the moment?
No.
What is your opinion on dating someone who already had a child/children from a previous relationship?
It doesn’t bother me, in fact, bring them on over :3 I love and adore kids, and can’t wait to adopt. Heck, my fiance already has a son and even though I have yet to meet him face-to-face, I already consider him mine~
Have you ever actually found a mascara that makes a huge difference for your lashes?
I don’t wear ANY make-up.
Would you rather have one or two great facial features that stand out, or have just an overall pretty face but have no special features?
Overall pretty.
Do you have any plans for Valentine’s Day? Did you do anything last Valentine’s Day?
No, just bought chocolate for da fam.
Do you check your horoscope daily? If so, did you relate to your horoscope at all today?
Never done it.
When you need to remember something how do you usually go about doing so?
Putting it on the calendar.
How would you describe someone that is your type of guy/girl?
My fiance of course~ Tall, strong, loves gaming, loves kids and the idea of a family, older than me, is a sadist~ Full on bad side, and is the Alpha to My Beta~
Have you recently accomplished anything that you are proud of yourself for?
Just avoiding death earlier today thanks to those doggos.
Are you still friends with any of your exes? Do you still communicate with any of them at all?
Yes and no. It’s complicated.
What is your opinion on people that shop at Sephora for makeup as opposed to buying makeup from the drugstore?
?
Do you live on your own or with your parents/a roommate? Do you think you’d like to live alone?
I live with my family currently. Can’t wait till I move to England though, then I will be with my fiance forever~
How often would you say you use Microsoft Word?
Only when I feel like it or need to.
How often do you typically change your bra?
I don’t wear bra’s.
What is the last online purchase you made?
Nothing.
Do you usually have bad symptoms around “that time of the month”?
I’m a guy ;-;
Is there anyone you have to see on a daily/weekly basis that you really dislike?
.....
Is your hair thick or thin? Would you say it’s easy to manage?
It was thin for awhile but now it’s becoming more thick. And it’s okay.
Have you ever had to deal with any type of long distance relationship, whether it be a romantic relationship or a friendship?
Yes, I’m currently in one. I’m in USA and my fiance is in England, like 5k miles away. (love you baby~)
Are you procrastinating doing anything right now?
Editing my next video to upload on YouTube.
How do you feel about being called sweetie/dear/honey/etc.?
I love it!
Have you ever had a thing for/relationship with a coworker? How did it end?
Don’t have a job yet.
What would you say is your worst habit?
Chewing on my nails or unintentionally avoiding my friends.
Do you have a place you go to a lot that you may be considered “a regular” at?
Probably.
What is the weather currently like where you live?
It's calm and clear and cloudless. It's 12 am.
Do you have any plans for Mardi Gras?
Don’t know.
0 notes
kingbrunnhilde · 7 years
Text
Tagged by the incredible @memeship. Thank you!! Btw the story for your url was super cute, friendship goals much?
Rules: Answer the questions and tag 20 blogs you’d like to get to know better (I think I may have done similar tag game before but oh well we doing it again)!
Nicknames: Chris but most of my friends just call me Christina (idc call me whichever) (all my teachers think my name is Christine instead and it lowkey gets on my nerves)
Star sign: cancer
Height: 5'2", I’m a shorty
Time right now: 9:27pm
Last thing I googled: “imsebastianstan” because I don’t have an instagram acc, I just view him off my web browser (#MEMEIT)
Fave music artist: The Neighbourhood, Zella Day, Troye Sivan, Halsey??
Song stuck in my head: okay same Em, Shape of You has been stuck in my head for the past week help
Last movie I watched: I re-watched a bit of Deadpool with my friend recently
Last TV show I watched: Star Trek: The Original Series aka my current obsession
What I’m wearing now: a grey sweater and jeans (the nicest you’ll ever see me dress haha)
When I created this blog: November 2016, I’m a tumblr newborn
The kind of stuff I post: star wars, star trek, marvel, dc, hp (all my fandoms are listed on my about btw) + my edits + fic recs?? (I swear I’ll eventually make more)
Do I get asks regularly: I don’t always get asks, but when I do, they oddly all come at the same time?
Why did I choose my URL: well I love Rey from swtfa as well as Steve Rogers aka Captain America so voila, my url :)
Gender: female
Hogwarts house: hufflepuff and proud!
Pokemon team: I don’t play pokemon sorry (but I have a friend who’s total pokemon trash)
Fave colours: mm Chris Pine’s eyes, lavender, daffodil yellow, light green, Chris Pine’s eyes..
Average hours of sleep: about 8 hours, maybe 9 on weekends
Lucky number: I don’t really have one sorry
Favourite Characters: whaat? I love all my babes! But okay uh Leonard McCoy, Bucky Barnes, Leia Organa, Diana Prince, Jim Kirk, Hermione Granger, the list could go on forever..
Dream Job: writer but let’s be honest, that ain’t ever gonna happen (I’d also be interested in trying filmaking someday)
Number of blankets I sleep with: one super heavy comfortable cause I get suuper cold when I sleep
Following: I currently follow 379 blogs but it may increase within the next like hour lol
I tag (not 20 because ain’t nobody got time for that): @sociopuff @idriselbas @violetbaudelxire @damnittjim @chekovspavel @cptjim-kirk @rachelisanerd
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ramialkarmi · 7 years
Text
T.J. Miller on leaving 'Silicon Valley': 'It felt like a breakup'
On Sunday night's season finale of HBO's hit comedy "Silicon Valley," we bid a fond farewell to one of the show's most popular characters, Erlich Bachman. The actor behind "Bachmanity," T.J. Miller, revealed in late May that the recently ended fourth season would be his last on the show.
Following his last episode, The Hollywood Reporter ran a lengthy interview with Miller in which the comedian got more into the specifics of his departure. 
Miller said that HBO offered him a reduced role on the show going forward (three to five episodes), but instead Miller countered by saying he'd be more comfortable leaving the show entirely. 
"It felt like a breakup with HBO," Miller told THR. "The final phone call was them going like, 'Well, I don’t think this is the end of Erlich. I still want to see him on television,' and I was like, 'I know but I think this is for the best.' ... So they were very, very cool about it, and that final conversation was super friendly and sad. It was heartbreaking on my end."
In a separate interview with THR, show co-creator Mike Judge gave a little more clarity about the situation.
"It was kind of becoming clear that he didn't want to do the show anymore, but we wanted to leave it so that there would an opportunity to come back at some point, " Judge said, who added that the open-ended storyline on the season finale episode (SPOILER ALERT if you haven't seen it yet) in which Erlich is left behind in an opium den in Tibet by Gavin Belson (Matt Ross) was done on purpose. 
"When the season was done, we talked to T.J. and said, 'Do you want to come back for part of it?' And he just wanted to move on," Judge said.
Miller said in the THR interview numerous times that he's extremely busy with other projects, from stand up to the Comedy Central show "The Gorburger Show" to upcoming movies like "The Emoji Movie" and the "Deadpool" sequel, so he felt this was the best time to move on.
"I swear to god, that’s why the internet broke," Miller said, referring to when the news broke that he was leaving "Silicon Valley." "Everybody was like, 'What the f--- are you talking about? You’re on this successful show. Don’t you want three more years of solid acting work and don’t you want to be a famous television actor?' And I was like, 'No, not really.' I’d like to parasail into the Cannes Film Festival for 'The Emoji Movie' because that’s the next new funny thing that will make people laugh."
Miller said most his castmates and crew were supportive of his decision to leave the show, though he did have a few parting shots for one of the show's Executive Producers/writers Alec Berg and star Thomas Middleditch:
"I think that HBO and Alec Berg, specifically, kind of thought — and I guess apparently Thomas Middleditch — I guess they thought, 'Alright, maybe this is the end of the character. But like everything in the show, we’ll sort of solve this and then it’s back to normal.' And they just didn’t imagine that I would be in a position of being like, 'I think that’s it.' … I don’t know how smart [Alec] is. He went to Harvard, and we all know those kids are f---ing idiots. That Crimson trash. Those comedy writers in Hollywood are f---ing Harvard graduates and that’s why they’re smug as a bug. … I think that in television you usually have one element that is very challenging, very frustrating. It’s an obstacle, right? So you’re doing the best work that you can do. Alec was that for me, and I think I was that for Alec. And a very good article was written that says that Erlich in the show is just this constant annoyance to Richard. ... And I think in some ways, that is analogous to real life. I think in some ways Thomas Middleditch is … we have a contrarian relationship, like a big brother-little brother relationship. And this is also an opportunity for me to be like, 'Let me just step off, dude. Like, just do your f---ing thing. You’re amazing.' I did a two-man improv show with him for a decade. He’s amazing."
When asked if he's upset Erlich didn't have a better sendoff in the finale episode, Miller said he doesn't watch the show anymore because "I don't have the time."
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