Sometimes, it be like that, yfm?

Dan Mora & Jorge Jimenez at NYCC 2023:

Cassie: call him Tim.

Bart: yeah Tim call him!

Tim: why is it always me that calls him? Why do I always call him? Huh it’s not like Kon lives in my ass.

Tim: (sees Cassie and Barts expression and turns)

Kon: ( whispers seductively as he pushes his sunglasses a little down his nose) you called babe?

Tim: (blushes hard) Damn it Kon.

Kon: Do you want me to- (gets tacked by Tim)

Cassie: should we stop them? ( Tim shoves Kon’s head in a wall) we have a mission.

Bart: nah let Batman and Superman deal with it. (Pulls out phone and starts recording)

Batman we have suspicious activity on 8th street. Permission to attack please

Dead? I was dead once. They locked me in a coffin. A buried coffin! A buried coffin with bats, and bats left me dead.

Hal: Oh hey, did you hear? That billionaire, Bruce Wayne, got engaged to that journalist, Clark Kent

Oliver: I wonder how Superman took the news

Hal: Probably better than Batman

Barry: What do you mean?

Oliver: Superman. He's totally in love with Bruce Wayne

Hal: What the fuck? No he isn't?! He used to date Clark Kent

Barry: Ohhh like how Batman dated Bruce Wayne?

Oliver: No?! Batman was in love with Clark Kent till he bowed out because Superman asked him to?!

Hal: No, Batman and Bruce Wayne were in love till Batman met Clark Kent

Kyle: All of you shut up! Batman is in love with Superman!

Oliver: Old news.

Barry: Yeah, Kyle, that's as obvious as Hal's civilian identity

Hal: Fuck you

Kyle: No you morons, Batman and Superman are dating. Like, they're mutually in love and they've acknowledged it and stuff

Oliver: When the fuck did that happen?!

Diana [angling to ruin their lives]: Have you considered the roles of Catwoman, Talia Al Ghul, Lois Lane and Ghostmaker in this love square? How do they play into this?

Everyone else: HOLY SHIT-

Jason Todd runs Gotham's most active Red Hood Thirst™ account because 1. No one appreciates him enough and 2. Nothing secures your identity as Definitely Not The Guy like publicly tweeting that Red Hood could "crush my skull with his thighs and I wouldn't even care, I'd thank him probably it'd be a privilege to be between them in any capacity" but also 3. He knows NO ONE in the family has the guts to challenge him on this or try it themselves

Tim hates it more than anyone especially because the last thing he wants is to attempt to trawl the depths of Red Robin Internet Thirst ("how the fuck do you read that shit, Todd") and has retaliated by hacking the account to make a "RED HOOD IS OUT, GREEN LANTERN 4 SEXIEST HERO ACTUALLY" post on Jason's account. It stays up for all of 20 minutes, which is the time it takes for Jason to find Tim, and for Dick to stop Jason from strangling him for "ruining my hard fucking work by dragging fucking HAL JORDAN into this you son of a-"

Some Jayroy shitposting

Kori was roys wingwoman

The Best of Both Worlds

I finally put my finger on it. For all the Critical Role and DC fans out there, Percival de Rolo is to Ashton Greymoore what Bruce Wayne is to Jason Todd

The angsty aristocratic man with a penchant for violence and killer one-liners and the angsty street kid with a penchant for violence and disobeying authority

One is a chronically paranoid member of a legendary group of heroes with a surprising number of children

And the other is flying by the seat of their pants and running away to Ethiopia to shove a fire titan shard into his chest and die

Lex Luthor adopting a dog just so he can give it a lifetime supply of Superman chew toys.

Head cannon that one time the batkids made some sort of a bet/deal with Bruce. And Bruce lost so now he has to partake in a batman look alike completion. But no one really knows what the bat looks like because Bruce lives on the “I am vengeance” and “I am one with the shadows” hill. So for reference all the internet has are just shitty photos of the bat to go by. So on the day of the competition he is wearing the actual bat suit. All his kids are there and when the winner is announced it’s not Bruce. And since everyone has the cowl on their faces no one knows who is the winner. Until the guy walks up to accept the trophy and it’s a dude in a shitty batman costume. Like full on just terrible. And the man pushes down the cowl and lo and behold it’s Clark Kent. Batman just lost a batman look alike contest to fucking Superman. All his kids lose their shit. Hell they even go up to Clark like, “Can we have a picture” and then it goes on their official social media like “lol just met the bat” , “I stole the tires of his car once, dude’s chill about it tho” etc.

yall like my new boyfriend hes shy

@bona-fide-clown

Bernard: Kiss me if I’m wrong, but dinosaurs aren’t extinct.

Tim: Technically, you’d be right, because birds are descended from dinosaurs, and if we’re open with our definition of “dinosaur”, they could count.

Bernard: ...

Tim: ...

Bernard: Just kiss me, smartass.

was gonna do a “pspspspss come here I am normal and sane” format but I think this works by itself

Damian whose really good at pranks and everyone’s like “how are you so good at pranks??” bc he was raised by assassins, and didn’t he say he didn’t have time for ‘childish things’ anyways? and it turns out Damian’s been treating pranks like nondeadly assassinations this entire time

“no, Damian’s really serious about his pranks. one time i wanted his help pranking Conner, and he made me write down all of his ‘habits’ or something, and staked him out for a week.”

“…Jon that almost sounds like he was planning a hit.”

“i was kinda weird when he started asking about the best vantage points of the house and what the wind average was gonna be, but i just assumed that was something he got from you guys.”

“…”

“i mean, you guys have done weirder.”