#daily joke
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I like diving head first for low hanging froots
#cat butt#cats#too dumb to stop#i draw stuff#daily joke#daily comic#bad puns#i love puns#make me laugh#funny stuff#comedy#humor#nerd humor
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I laughed my tears out bruh, who paid u to send this?! His not there, not on the bench, not even in the audience lmfao 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣
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An old man calls his son and says, "Listen, your mother and I are getting divorced. Forty-five years of misery is enough."
"Dad, what are you talking about?" the son screams.
“We can't stand the sight of each other any longer,” he says. "I'm sick of her face, and I'm sick of talking about this, so call your sister and tell her," and he hangs up.
Now, the son is worried. He calls his sister. She says, "Like hell they’re getting divorced!" She calls their father immediately. "You’re not getting divorced! Don't do another thing. The two of us are flying home tomorrow to talk about this. Until then, don't call a lawyer, don't file a paper. DO YOU HEAR ME?” She hangs up the phone.
The old man turns to his wife and says, "Okay, they’re both coming for Christmas and paying their own airfares.
.
.
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Daily Joke
Q: What do you call a farting caveman?
A: A blast from the past!
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How do you become a gimmick blog?
step 1: think of a gimmick
step 2: blog
#taxonomist talks#ask#this is somewhat joking but is pretty accurate#think#what did dailyquests do?#they thought of a gimmick (giving daily quests as if living in an RPG). and then blogged.#what else to say
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#I'd make a joke about making an AU that could probably function as original fiction but I think I did that in a caption already#reaction image#reaction meme#daily reaction images#image mood: I am so great
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Seven years old?! She should've been at the clubbbb....
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THE KING IS BACK
#itsallmine#Dracula#dracula daily#jonathan harker#I’m so excited omg he’s back#time to read bram stokers classic gothic novel again#aaaaaaaa#someone has probably already made this joke but idc#patch notes: pictures now have alt text
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#92 - 小龍 (xiǎolóng / little dragon) - A totally ferocious, fiery dragon! Definitely! 🔥🐉🦎
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Happy April Fool's! :3c
#daily dragon drawing#the real joke is I skipped 5 march dragons to do this one#they'll be done soon lol#art#art challenge#artists on tumblr#chinese artist#dragon#dragon a day#dragon art#dragon oc#dragons#daily drawing#daily dragon#chinese dragon#drawing challenge#drawing every day#drawing#illustration#year of the dragon#fantasy creature#creature design#zodiac#eastern dragon#dragon illustration#lizard#april fools#april fool's day#april fools 2024#april first
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*Disclaimer: do NOT do the last thing on the list. For reals tho, may we all have a friend like Whisky <3
#best friends#cat dad#cats#comic strip#punk artist#draw every day#daily joke#daily comics#relateable#feels#you're not wrong#if you're sad or depressed about the state of earth right meow#pink sprinkles
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the crusaders do have a healer.
they don't like to talk about it.
#jjba#kakyoin noriaki#kujo jotaro#joseph joestar#muhammad avdol#daily#((bet you thought i abandoned this blog. well jokes on YOU. i havent stopped thinking about it ONCE since i started it.))#((the guilt is killing me. but not really. anyway this is 100% canon to my blog's continuity and you may quote me on that.))#((i cannot guarantee regular updates going forward but i am at the very least trying to get back on track!))#((regardless! hope you enjoy this silly joke. i spent a long time on it and i definitely had more to say about it but i forgot.))#((peace and love💚))
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Happy Halloween!!!
#happy halloween#halloween 2022#wtf#funny#dark humor#bad jokes#web comics#in shadow of absurd#absurd#черный юмор#daily jokes#daily joke#хэллоуин#Счастливого Хэллоуина#в тени абсурда#Хэллоуин 2022#Тыквенный пирог
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"hi welcome to McDonald's what can I get for you?"
"Yeah can I get a deluxe quarter pounder with cheese?"
"absolutely, do you want the Meal or just the sandwich?"
"uuuuuh hold on"
*fishes my wallet out of my pocket*
"miles what do I do."
"get the fries, lad. youll need the energy in the coming days."
*stuffs wallet back in my pocket*
"uhh yes please the meal would be great"
#this is stupid#please get the joke#my dumb jokes#star trek#deep space nine#ds9#miles o'brien#o'brien#this is an actual picture in my wallet#i got it from the daily star trek calender
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If I was in a lucid dream with a ghost, I would simply impress them with my blunt rolling skills
#poorly drawn mdzs#mdzs#wei wuxian#lan wangji#mdzs au#MDZS disco elysium au#This is brought to you by my Scrambled Egg brain - slowly burning up as I try to finish a long comic for this AU.#I hoped it would be done several days ago but I've changed things so many times....It is now Very Close to being done!#I probably should have just posted each page daily but at this point I'm just being stubborn. I want it complete and together.#Ruining the surprise a bit to say 'yeah its a digital art comic'#But its been tricky figuring out the style I want to use for it!#hence the swaths of MSpain(t) doodles that boil down to 'how would this look if I did X?'#I wanted to do a fully Black & White Ink style. But I scrapped it. Then I did small bits of colour. And scrapped it. Sigh.#This comic started out as just the first panel and then my brain went 'hold on. Its time to make a dumb joke'#Any disco elysium fans who finished the game probably know the scene I'm doing for the *actual* comic after seeing this <3#Anyways I know in my heart LWJ would roll the worst blunts ever his first time. And then dedicate himself to the rolling craft-#-until he has finally mastered it. He would roll blunts so good that people would hire him and pay him a monthly salary for it.#But he declines. His master blunts are for his beloved and his beloved alone.#wwx would roll above average but after having lwj do it for him he can ever go back.
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