I'm about to go on a rant about Sasquatch.
I'm not sorry.
So.
Sasquatch. Bigfoot. Big hairy thing in the woods. What is it, and why is it so fucking hard to find?
Honestly, the simplest and most effective answer to basically any question asked about it is: "It's an Ape. Duh."
Okay, what is it? It's an Ape. A Great Ape. What specific branch is unknown, but it DEFINITELY ISN'T A GIGANTOPITHECUS DESCENDANT!!! Giganto was an Orangutan relative and Sasquatch is clearly more related to Apes like Gorilla and Chimpanzee. Stop that. Just because it was big doesn't mean that that's the only animal Sasquatch could be related to.
On the point of bigness, first, Giganto is good precedent for Apes being able to get that big, so the argument that Sasquatch couldn't as big as it's reported to be is already dead.
Why would it get so big, though? Well, why did everything else that came across the Bering land bridge get so damn big? Bountiful resources, need to adapt, freedom for experimental forms to arise due to lack of competition. Everything in the Ice Age Species Exchange did 2 things: Got really fucking big and got really fucking weird, so an ape coming over would experience the same lack of competition and adaptive pressures.
So why would we have such a hard time finding them if they've been here the whole time? Well, for starters, we do find them. Often. You just stick your fingers in your ears, close your eyes, and chant "Hoaxes and Bears! Hoaxes and Bears!". So... That's a you problem. Also, let's put ourselves in the mindset of a Sasquatch for a minute here:
You're a Sasquatch.
You're probably somewhere between Gorilla and Chimpanzee levels of intelligence.
You're hanging out, doing your thing, walking through the woods, and you enter a clearing.
The clearing is full of dead shit, fires and screaming, hairless murderous cryptids that can kill basically anything it wants.
You recognize that this thing is a threat.
You also recognize that they usually stay in or near the plains.
You also recognize that they usually don't come out at night.
You also recognize that if they can see it, they can kill it.
You make the easy connection that the best method for not being killed by these things is to go where they don't (Deep forests and inaccessible mountains) and do your thing when they're inactive (Night).
Now, practice this habit for an absolute bare minimum of the last 10,000 years (the last time the Bering land bridge was accessible, but they likely would have came over on one of the earlier openings, which was up to several million years ago) and you have an animal that is very well adapted to seeing Humans as an existential threat and keeping well the fuck away from them.
Alright, well, if they're real, why haven't we found fossils? ... My guy, do you have any idea how ludicrously difficult it is to find ANY Primate fossils? We have functionally 0 Chimpanzee fossils. We have a handful of teeth for Gorillas. Orangutans, also mostly just a couple dozen teeth. Gigantopithecus, the guy that everyone points to (erroneously) as an ancestor of Sasquatch, is only known from a partial jaw bone. Most of it's anatomy is just speculation.
For all practical purposes, there may as well not be any Primate fossils.
So now tell me why you would expect to find any Sasquatch fossils?
Well, why are primate fossils so hard to find? Forests. For a fossil to be preserved, the animal needs to either be buried swiftly after death in mostly light sediment, like sand and silt, or have their bones picked clean and, still, buried in some form of sediment quickly (like burial in a grave).
Forests rarely ever have such conditions. Most bodies are left in open air, humid, bioactive, scavenger filled conditions with very few chances to be buried (unless they end up falling in a river).
Oh, and North American forests are possibly the worst possible forests for fossil preservation, if for no other reason than fucking porcupines. Little bastards actively EAT BONES. So, yeah, finding fossils in NA forests is nigh impossible for an already nigh impossible animal to expect a fossil from.
Alright, but that doesn't explain why we can't find them. Well, for starters, we do, you guys just call all the witnesses liars, drunks or idiots. And expecting that kind of reaction tends to dampen one's enthusiasm to tell people what you've seen...
... So that's your fault, when you really think about it.
Also, who's gonna fund a multiple years expedition into the most remote reaches of the continent, with people the scientific (ha, ironic) community has made a habit of condemning as quacks and hoaxers, with military grade search and reconnaissance equipment, trying to build an entirely new field of study from scratch, to find an animal that is deliberately, consciously, trying to not be found.
Oh, so you just conveniently just can't find any evidence, but it totally exists? We have hair, which is call hoaxes. We have foot, hand and full body prints, which you call hoaxes. We have dermal ridges (the stuff that makes your fingerprint, but they exist on your hands and feet), which you call hoaxes. We have photos, which you call hoaxes. We have videos, which you call hoaxes. We have audio recordings, which you call hoaxes. We have basically everything short of a physical specimen.
Well then get a physical specimen!
A) Again, they are actively trying to stay away from humans. They likely don't visit the same places twice when they see humans around.
B) Sightings are rare, brief and probably deliberate on the Sasquatch's part as a way to scare you off. You're not going to be running around the forest on your normal hike with a tranquilizer gun to quick-draw at a moment's notice and that animal is definitely not going to let itself be seen for very long.
C) Hunters usually have a habit of NOT shooting the upright, human-shaped things in the woods. Even if it very obviously looks like a Sasquatch, most people would likely hold their fire in case it's an asshole in a suit.
D) Even if you manage to shoot one, do you have a chopper to haul it out? No? Well good luck dragging a 6-10 foot tall, 400-700 pound behemoth out of the woods with nothing but your bare hands.
And finally E) I'd like to at least hope that most people would be hesitant to kill something that looks so much like a human. If you saw a mother and young, could you really bring yourself to killing them?
Any debate is welcome, just be civil.
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