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#crying over her everyday
wherretwords · 1 year
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She’s perfect and I love her 
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kitamars · 2 years
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and they say romance isn’t dead
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matamisin · 1 year
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1 heart event? Probably only half heart LMFAO
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peachiyyy · 4 months
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my baba’s one and only instagram post is dedicated to his childhood home in Narendra, Dhaka. His caption is a paragraph, written in Bangla of course, about his memories in that home and what it was like growing up there. He ended his caption with, “my childhood home where my mother loved me and sang songs to me!!!!!” I can’t help but shed tears lol I guess all everyone really wants is their mother’s touch and love…even my 60 year old father who has an extremely hard time expressing his emotions. All he wants is to hug his mother again.
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aylunas · 7 months
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monthly existential vent post incoming lol guys i so desperately wish i had normal people problems … why can’t i be fussing over my turbulent love life or something why instead do my problems consist of the very soul consuming existential dread whilst i lay on my bedroom floor thinking about to what extent is life meant to be enjoyed and to what extent is it meant to be survived … why does every choice i am given make me feel like all the options are the wrong answer and i’ll always be sick tired absolutely depressed :!!2;&:@,@/£:& everything … feels so empty it makes me wanna cry so bad i always thought being alive was amazing and incredible and there was SO MUCH fun things to do but now all of a sudden . no matter how much i try everything feels like the colour and life has been drained out
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rinaririr · 9 months
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Accidentally stumbled across @venulus post (please excuse me for the sudden tag 🙇‍♀️) so i guess i’m tagged 😂
Tag 9 people you’d like to get to know better
Last song
saw a post of someone briefly mentioning this song and i’ve been on a 24-hour looping fes
will never get over my oshis singing the theme song for ikevamp - i almost cried: fav group x fav otome game oTL
Currently reading
Webtoons: Suhee0, Match Made in Heaven, and A Heartfelt Andante
Manga: Gokurakurai, Jigokuraku, and I’m a Mob but my Oshi is Here so Everyday is Fun
Currently watching
Jigokuraku (i don’t have the attention span to follow throught with shows oTL )
Current obsession
👉👈 clavis , gouache painting videos, and my baby bean
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——✨TAGGING✨——
✨YOU✨ poor unfortunate souuulss
(who are reading this) >:3 have fun ~
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slitdeeper · 18 days
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forced recovery is literally the worst thing thats ever happened to me
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titsdelicate · 8 months
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real
#this is so mind numbingly exhausting i don't understand how everyone else seems to just do it?#it was such a weird day#started out in a good mood but then boss scolded these two interns cause of a mistake#and like he wasn't shouting exactly but he raised his voice and said so many things like you are so careless im suffering so many losses bc#bc of you outsiders are going to think i don't have a good team and i don't have control over my team#and how we should always note things down because we're so distracted and not serious#and how before going home everyday we should report to him what work we did today#i understand that he's being reasonable (maybe? idk) but it sounded so eerily horribly like my dad i couldn't function properly for an hour#why are men so similar everywhere#why am i SO scared i could feel the disappointment radiating off him and he wasn't even mad at me and i felt like a failure#which is so embarrassing like girl stop you are a 20 year old adult woman you will not cry at your workplace because an angry man triggered#your dad issues#and upar se there was a new intern at work one year younger than me and oh my god he was so annoying#like i talked to him first bc i pitied him like what if he felt alone it was only his second day but boy literally could not stop talking😭#like ok it's kinda cool that this senior di she trusted me enough to be like you teach him this project report this when ive only been#here for 3 weeks but bhai😭 he's so annoying 😭 i have newfound respect for the di how does she handle all 7-8 of us interns i would go#crazy and shout at everyone and tell them to leave me alone 😭 but she's so patient and kind and answers dumb questions 100 times#but she's leaving this office permanently from next month bc of her ca final :( i mean very good for her she deserves better more money#better work hours better office etc. but :(( she's leaving :((#as you can see i have both dad issues and abandonment issues so fun lol
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dhoopaurchandni · 2 years
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“and i am doing okay in the back of my mind all i hear is your name”
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chrisevansmentee · 1 year
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Please don’t take my sunshine away.
It was longing. That feeling in his chest as though his heart was being pulled by an invisible string.
He longed to go back there, to breathe the same air and watch the trees sway to the wind, the birds chirp a little too early, the children clapping and singing without a care in the world.
That was the only place he knew, the place where he could be himself, effortless smiles, crazy thoughts and notions, a place where he could be as free as a bird and preen under the attention he got from them.
It was his sunshine, whenever he dreamt of that place he wished it never came to an end. He wanted to go back because he loved the place but more importantly because that was where he first met her.
Her beautiful brown eyes, that lit up whenever she smiled, the crinkle on the side of her eye when she laughed, the way she’d throw her head back when she laughed real hard, the way she’d tap him lightly when she found something interesting, her graceful movement, the crease between her brows when she was curious and lastly her beautiful heart. It was there he’d met her.
Her father was the owner of the café where he liked to have breakfast; she was the one who served him that day, all smiles and curious glances. He always got that look from people and he was used to it but from her it was different, he found himself sweating and itching to talk to her, she kept her distance, only coming when he asked her to. He decided he’d had enough and he just walked to her and introduced himself. She smiled, satisfied with herself and shook his hand. He thought her voice was beautiful, her hand was so soft and had some scars he wished he could trace but he retreated and settled for a smile. She looked at him knowingly and gave him another cup of coffee on the house. That day when he walked out of that place he knew she was the one. She was his sunshine.
Every day, he’d go there, talk with her, forget his orders and get a free cup of coffee. With time, he started coming with gifts, flowers and those things he thought she’d love and oh holy angels! She loved them, she’d hug him tight and in her true fashion she’d give him coffee on the house.
The night they went to dinner, she initiated it, she took his hand and they walked to a beautiful building where all kind of cuisines were served and they sat and talked and talked and talked till all the customers left and the place closed. That night when he walked her to her doorstep and she smiled shyly and kissed him on the cheek, he knew it was her.
After three months of seeing each other, they decided to take things to the next level, where they’d normally hold hands and smile, they traded kisses and long stares. He knew he wanted to continue life with her. His life had been dark but the moment she stepped in, everything brightened up.
God how much he loved her.
He stayed back because of her. He left the big city and moved to the country side,  he loved the country more. Who would pass up an opportunity to eat fresh food, enjoy serenity and just feel at peace leaving the noisiness of New York behind? Who would? So he stayed back and they built a business and a family and it was perfect.
Until it wasn’t.
It was funny really, how one moment people were alive and well beside you and the next moment they were gone, they would go to sleep and never wake you up with their beautiful singing.
She wasn’t ill, she was healthy, and she just slept forever, no goodbyes, nothing.
He had to find out from the mortician that she was pregnant, she didn’t even know.
Those were the scariest two years of his life, he’d dream so many dreams of them running up and down the hills and then she’d disappear, sometimes, she’d sing him to sleep and the moment he’s asleep it as if he was drowning under water.
One night before he moved out, he dreamt he held her in his arms but when he woke, he was mistaken and he hung his head and cried.
So when he passed through that particular building, it reminded him of her and that night when they lay under the stars and made promises to each other, she taught him another language and she held his hands and let him trace the scars.
He found himself missing her all over again, missing the way she seemed to make all his worries disappear, missing the way he put a smile on her face.
And one morning, he was tired of longing for her when he could just be with her.
So he did it, he hung himself and died.
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missallsunday · 1 year
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Their apartment must smell so bad
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semothekat · 1 year
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Guess who’s playing the cookie game again
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anapologethicc · 2 years
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x
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yoohyeontual · 2 years
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#i was going to sleep but I just broke down crying#it’s so hard guys#i wanna stay strong for him and not worry him#but I really can’t I am not strong I never been#it hurts so much#I’ve through that once but Bunny it was so sudden it was less hard#with Puppy it could go on for years which I really hope it does cause I don’t wanna lose him#but it’s so stressful thinking that any day could be his last idk how I’ll survive this#my mental state is worsening everyday I’m really trying hard to be strong but it’s impossible#he’s also the main reason why I’m still alive cause I remind myself that if I was gone he would miss me and look for me and I get better#him and Sowon are my only source of joy since 2019#losing him will be loosing a part of me all over again#he’s only 12 and all dogs his breed I know lived to 18 it’s so unfair for me I always hope it would be the same for him like Bunny#I’m sorry I didn’t wanna go all depress on here but I’m crying and couldn’t stop and no one is awake right now I need to write to calm down#I’m okay most of the time but 2 nights in a row my mom been freaking out and making me think of the worst#and now that I had a night to empty my mind Friday something happened with puppy making me terrified of loosing him#and I was suppose to go to a concert on May 7th another day that I thought I could empty my mind and it’s canceled#no one wants me to have a break thank god bestie is still coming to see me#I’m gonna cry when I see her 😭#that is if she dosen’t end up canceling for a reason cause she live far away anything could happen so she can’t come here 😔#i wouldn’t be surprise at that point I’m hoping not#now that I’ve calm down a little I kinda wanna go hug puppy but I go see him I feel like if I ’ll break down crying again 😭#i should just go to sleep and not bother him I gotta tell myself he’s okay he’s sleeping at my place cause my blanket is his favorite#and tomorrow I’ll wake up and he will be like like everyday excited to see me and i’ll hug him 🥺#alex.txt#do not reblog#tw sick pet#tw sick dog#tw pet death mention
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ohara-n-brown · 4 months
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As a late diagnosed autist I will say one of the most damaging but transformative experiences I've ever had was being misdiagnosed with BPD.
Everyday my heart goes out to people with BPD.
The amount of stigma and silencing they face is astonishing and sickening.
I took DBT for years. Therapists use to turn me away because of my diagnosis.
I would be having full blown autistic meltdowns, crying for help literally - but because I was labeled as BPD ANY time I cried I was treated as manipulative and unstable.
As if the only reason I could be crying was if I was out to trick someone.
95% of the books out there with Borderline in the title are named shit like 'How to get away from a person with Borderline', 'How to stop walking on eggshells (with a person who has BPD)'
I was never allowed to feel true pain or panic or need.
That was 'attention seeking behavior', not me asking for help when a disability was literally inhibiting my ability to process emotions.
There were dozens of times where I had a full meltdown and was either threatened with institutionalization or told I was doing it for attention.
My failing relationships weren't due to a communication issue, or the inability to read social cues. No, because I was labeled borderline, my unstable relationships were my fault. Me beggong nuerotypicals to just be honest and blunt with what they meant was me pestering them for validation.
Borderline patients can't win.
And the funny thing is - I asked my therapist about autism. I told her I thought I was on the spectrum.
BPD is WILDLY misdiagnosed with those with autism and I had many clear signs.
Instead - she told me 'If you were autistic we wouldn't be able to have this conversation'. She made me go through a list of autistic traits made clearly for children, citing how I didn't fit each one.
And then she told me that me identifying with the autism community was the BPD making me search for identity to be accepted - and that I wasn't autistic, just desperate to fit in somewhere.
I didn't get diagnosed for another ten years. For ten years I avoided the autism community - feeling as if I were just a broken person who wanted to steal from people who 'really needed it'.
Because of my providers - I began to doubt my identity MORE, not less.
Ten years of thinking I was borderline and being emotionally neglected and demonized by a system meant to help me.
To this day, I still don't trust neurotypicals. Not fully.
I know I'm not borderline now - but my heart aches for them. Not for the usual stuff. But for the stigma. And the asshole doctors. And the dismissiveness and threatening and the idea of institutionalization hanging over their head.
I love Borderline people. I always will. I'm not Borderline but if you are I love you and I'm sorry.
You're not a bad person. You're not a therapists worst nightmare, you are a human with valid feelings and fears.
Borderline people I'm sorry.
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pears-trinkets · 6 days
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#my mom just came over to tell me#YOU KNOW WHAT YOUR PROBLEM IS?? your problem isnt autism your problem is that you cant adjust to everyday life and you're just too emotional#you just cant adjust and then you make it hard for yourself on purpose because you cant just get over it and forget it#you just let negativity fester inside of you#all because i told her that i wasnt chosen for an autism diagnosis via email lottery and she immediately answered with#STOP BEING SAD DONT CRY YOU JUST HAVE TO DO X Y AND Z and i explained to her for the 1000th time that she has to word it differnetly#because i didnt even tell her how i feel and she just assumed my emotions and then told me to STOP HAVING THEM#and i try to gently explain to her how she has to ask first and not assume because she makes me feel worse than i actually felt#and shes liks YEAH BUT I CANT CONTROLL MY EMOTIONS IM JUST A PASSIONATE MOTHER TRYING TO HELP HER KID#completely making it about her again and making me comfort her and her emotions and i told her that and she said#well then why dont you tell me to stop? you have to make me aware of it how else am i supposed to know#after several years of me telling her this and how she needs to think before she speaks#and after all this she came over to tell me ANYWAY YOUR PROBLEM ISNT AUTISM ANYWAY ITS JUST (DESCRIPTION OF AUTISM)#like???????? are you trying to win the other argument by telling me i didnt need the diagnosis anyway#anyway i said GOODBYE and shoved her out the door and locked it#im 30 and i still have to fight with her like im 13 and having to end arguments or physical abuse by shoving her out of my room#and pulling a bookshelf infront of the door and hiding in a corner where she cant see me through the window in the door
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