thinking more abt 6x01... Dean’s djinn dream. god. because part of it is about Dean’s childhood trauma, of Dean > John (powerless to stop his wife & kid from being hurt), Lisa > Mary (killed on the ceiling on fire), and Ben > Sam (fed demon blood by Azazel). oh fuck, the cycle repeats, generational trauma continues, Dean’s new family is going to face horror & tragedy just like his own did and he can’t do anything to stop it.

there’s that Dean’s having his hallucination dream while he’s trapped on Ben’s bed. so there’s a Dean > Ben connection too. and then there’s... how Azazel is also very vampiric in Dean’s dream, feeding Ben his blood (and in a very creepily suggestive way; he’s really touchy, the whole “drink it, you’ll feel better” line), and how thru the show vampires are often connected to physical/sexual violence, esp w/in the family & including incest, and how only 4 eps later Dean himself is then forcibly turned into a vampire through a metaphorical sexual assault (again by a evil father / mentor figure 🤔) and becomes a monster who almost hurts Lisa and inadvertently hurts Ben.

it’s also his getting vamped that shatters his relationship w/ Lisa and Ben, too. it’s striking to me that Dean admits he & Sam have a weird relationship to Lisa in 6x06, but he can’t talk about being turned into a vampire, he can’t open up about it. I’m not sure Lisa would have (or even should have) taken him back after that, but it’s very different for her to know Dean got forcibly turned into a monster and pushed her son away so he wouldn’t hurt him, versus him showing up like a stalker in the middle of the night, being creepy & invasive, and then shoving Ben. except Dean can’t talk about it, in a way that feels both genuine w/ his characterization and horrible & heartbreaking to watch.