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onlylovingstrangers · 1 year

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"I'm glad we're still friends," Osamu says.

It's a chilly afternoon, even for late November, and occasionally you disrupt your walking pattern to stomp on the stray dry leaf. With the winter coming up, weekends like this — with no immediate task to complete but plenty of work on the horizon — have lost their luxury and instead take on a dryly urgent quality. Like every minute spent doing nothing is a minute wasted.

Which doesn't explain why you're grabbing brunch with your ex, still, but whatever. Osamu is waiting for a response, looking at you from the corner of his eye.

"You're better than me, I'm sick of your ass."

He rolls his eyes, tipping his head back for good measure. "Jesus. You're aggravating."

"You're dramatic."

"Unsentimental witch."

"Lazy dog."

The insults you throw at each other once were little bullets of fire, meant to wound; now they are meaningless, bouncing off armor as easy as ice. You know his repertoire as well as he knows yours.

There are no surprises; in a world full of change and turmoil, that constant holds no small degree of comfort.

"Remember when you threw me a surprise birthday party," Osamu says.

"And you thought I was cheating on you, because I was being so secretive."

He ignores you. "And you invited Kita-senpai and his wife."

"Which you were mad at me for, because it cost them a lot to travel here, even though they wanted to be there for you."

Osamu pauses. "I was actually really happy."

The two of you walk down a familiar fork in the road. The wind comes and goes, wrapping around bare branches and weaving through the corners your elbows make when your hands are shoved into their coat pockets. November is an observant month, and you feel the distance between you and Osamu acutely. You feel for the two lonely figures walking down a path they can never go back.

I was actually really happy.

You broke up two months afterward. Out of everyone, your parents were the most dismayed. They had already bought their wedding outfits. In attempts to make them understand, you told them, "We were better friends than lovers." If he were there, Osamu would have agreed: "Sad, but true." It would have been the first time you two agreed in a long time.

This thought carries you all the way to your front door, and you turn to your ex-boyfriend, waiting at the bottom of the steps. No longer will he cross the threshold, shoes already half off, complaining of the cold.

"See ya," Osamu says gently.

You watch from the window as he makes his way down the street.

It's been too long or too soon, who knows? You can't decipher whether the relationship made either of you better or worse off, just the same as how you can't discern why you two continue, week after week, to meet for Sunday brunch.

#doing 30 fays of this exes to friends prompt list that im rbing #cracked challenge #haikyuu #haikyuu x reader #haikyuu!!#haikyuu x y/n #haikyuu x you #haikyū!!#miya osamu #osamu x y/n #osamu x you #osamu x reader #hq osamu #osamu drabble #osamu miya

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carnivalcarriondiscarded · 4 months

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i would just liketo say i love the way you draw frank hes so sily

Thank You!

#i continue to enjoy him #neat fella!#he's still a bit of a challenge to draw. he's all tubes #tube man. i fear to think what would happen if he fell down a hill #lmao crack princess bride au but the Only scene #is frank throwing himself down the hill a la 'oh my sweet westley - what have i done' but then he just #rockets at light speed. flattening the dread pirate eddie Instantaneously. pancake mailman #anyway huh? what?#rambles from the bog #scribble salad #he's so blatantly fruity and it delights me to no end

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psykoe100 · 1 year

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Congrats on the loss boys. Love Wins <3

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fan-fricking-fiction · 3 months

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Pit babe ft. textposts

#pit babe #pit babe the series #bl textposts #bl crack #last one for tonight i promise #charlie x babe #charliebabe #thai bl #bl drama #thai bls stop making me cry challenge

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fizzytoo · 2 months

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❄️ it's their first snow!

#ts4 #ts4 gameplay #sims 4 gameplay #postcard legacy challenge #postcard: gen4 #SULANI KIDS EXPERIENCE SNOW FOR THE FIRST TIME #alexa play the first snow by exo #they were up at the crack of dawn watching the snow fall outside

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teecupangel · 9 months

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‘What if desmond time travels and has to deal with such and such, or turns into an animal, or gets hurt, or-’

What if Desmond time travels and learns how to bake bread!! Huh!!? What about that!! What if he opens a super successful bakery, and solves all the worlds problems with the best fresh baked bread every!!

(This is /j but like. 👏🏻 anons let Desmond have peace challenge👏🏻 (but also don’t cause I love reading all of them I’m just like ‘how did you even come up with this? Sometimes lmao))

Anyway, since we already have a Desmond is a baker in Renaissance Italy idea, here’s Desmond is a baker during the Third Crusades instead:

So in this setup, Desmond would say fuck it and just open a bakery in Acre.

Jerusalem was too much of a hotspot at the moment and Acre had ports which meant there would be new customers that Desmond could lure in with the smell of freshly baked bread.

And it worked.

Maybe a bit too well because…

Kadar visited while he was out looking for information for his brother’s current target.

They both stared at one another for a moment and then Desmond just did his usual ‘Welcome! Are you looking for anything specific or would you like to hear today’s recommendations?’ spiel while Kadar just stares at him.

When Kadar went “Altaïr?”, Desmond just gave him his best bartender ‘I’m being respectful but also distant so you’ll still tip me’ smile as he goes, “I’m sorry, we don’t have a bread called ‘Altaïr’.”

Then he showed Kadar the star-shaped pull apart sweet bread he’s just perfected and go “But maybe I can interest you in this pull apart start bread? It’s sweet and fluffy and freshly baked.”

And sweet poor Kadar leaves the bakery with a basket of breads instead because Desmond was good at using both Ezio’s charms and his bartending social skills to get customers to buy more than they should.

Hey.

A man needed to profit to keep the roof over his head while trying to experiment for the upcoming debut of his sugar-free pastries.

The next day, Malik entered the bakery but Desmond was ready.

Desmond had planned for this!

“Welcome!” Desmond greeted, giving Malik his sweetest smile that he knew would completely unnerve Malik.

Desmond weaponized the similarity between him and Altaïr to unnerve Malik to the point that he cannot focus on observing Desmond, distracted by such a sweet smile that looked so disturbing in his eyes because he’s imagining Altaïr doing such an expression and it was horror beyond Malik’s wildest imagination.

Okay.

Desmond was exaggerating but that got Malik to not ask too many invasive questions and leave the bakery after purchasing two baskets worth of bread so Desmond was going to consider that a mission successful.

And then…

His greatest adversary entered his little quaint bakery.

And Desmond was ready for him.

“Welcome!” Desmond greeted happily, “Are you looking for anything specific or would you like to see today’s recommendations?”

Altaïr simply stared at him.

But that didn’t matter.

Desmond held all the cards.

Because he knew one of Altaïr’s greatest weakness…

Altaïr secretly loved sweets.

“Today’s a special day!” Desmond clapped his hands in practiced joy that wasn’t over the top, “Today’s the debut of our dessert line! Here.”

Desmond took out a tray of sweet deserts, glistening in either honey or fruit jams.

“Would you like a taste?” Desmond asked with the sweetness of the snake that tempted Eve to take a bite.

And Altaïr…

Altaïr left the bakery with a basket filled with desserts and pastries, quietly sinking into the shadows before anyone could see him and ask for one of the forbidden sweets he had acquired.

#i don’t know why this happened #i usually describe altaïr as not liking sweets #this is crack right?#i would happily participate in #a ‘desmond have peace’ challenge #although #knowing me #i will find some way to fuck shit up #for fun #if anyone wants an american revolution version #let me know #ask and answer #assassin's creed #desmond miles #altaïr ibn la'ahad #malik al sayf #kadar al sayf

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segretecose · 11 days

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cinema is healing

#challengers spoilers #i don’t care that it’s bad and luca guadagnino snorted crack cocaine before making every single directorial choice #THIS is cinèma

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steddieunderdogfics · 24 days

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Hotel, Motel, Holiday Inn by beetlesandstars

@beetlesandstarss

Rating: Explicit

2,846 words, 1/1 chapters

Archive Warning: No Warnings

Tags: Hotel Sex, Mutual Masturbation, Porn with Feelings, Gay Eddie Munson, Bisexual Steve Harrington, Porn Watching, is watching porn with your homie gay?, tune in to find out, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously

Summary:

“You do this a lot, Steve? Watch porn with your friends?” “I used to.” (Or: with the TV stuck on the 'adult content' channel, Steve and Eddie find a way to pass the time).

Thanks for the rec!

This rec is a part of Challenge Monday. The challenge this week was crack treated seriously.

Know a fic that deserves extra love? Submit through our asks or the submission box!

#steddie #steddie fic recs #steve harrington #eddie munson #steve x eddie #stranger things #challenge monday #crack treated seriously #crack fic #rated e

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veinsfullofstars · 2 months

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Magolor Epilogue where everything’s the same except this happens.

(ID: Kirby series fanart comic of Magolor - in his new gray purgatory garb - stranded in the green-tinted depths of Another Dimension, ranting about his defeat and thinking this is as bad as it gets, only for a familiar-looking star-shaped portal to open behind him and shoot a certain cosmic jester directly at him. Transcript under the cut. END ID.)

Started some time in summer 2023, finished 10/15/23. NOTE: This was originally posted on my deleted account on 10/15/23.

Handy-dandy transcript for ya:

Panel 1

Magolor: *exasperated* Great! Just great! Lost my Crown, lost my powers… How could my life possibly get any worse?!

Panel 2

*a crack forms in space behind Magolor, causing him to turn his head to look* vwp

Panel 3

*portal opens, shooting Marx out as high speeds, directly into Magolor’s back, in a very blurred and amusing smear frame* THUD

Panel 4

*Magolor prone on the ground on his face, Marx sprawled on top of him, both dazed and bruised as stars spin over their heads*

Marx: *disoriented, one eye swollen shut, one filled with a dizzy swirl, gesturing weakly with one wing claw* Hey hey… Did, uh, you lose to Kirby, too? (Ow… my bones…)

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isame-allen · 2 months

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Day 4

I absolutely love @zu-is-here s shattered dream

Even though I barely interact with the utmv these days and like don’t read their comics anymore

#my sickness is killing me slowly istg #dreamtale #dream sans #shattered dream #utmv #isaacballz #allen’s crack doodles #angsty’s birthday challenge

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peggingeddiediaz · 1 month

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#911 crack #911 memes #911 on abc #incorrect 911 #911 #bottom eddie rights #bottom!eddie #top!buck #eddie stop touching buck's firehose challenge: failed #eddie is touch starved #cock starved as well #911 spoilers #7x03

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cheval-grand · 1 year

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seeing some random person also riding around in some ungodly corner of jorvik at 2 am on a sunday

#star stable #sso #star stable online #PLEASE tell me im not the only person who gets whiplash from seeing people on at the crack of dawn #like bestie....WHAT are you (also) DOING at JARLEHEIM at 2:23 AM ??#side note does anyone wanna try the dont call galloper thompson at 3am challenge with me :)

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goldenamaranthe-blog · 11 months

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Sun: (holding giant wok of curry, stir fried noodles) Alright, guys! Eat up! I managed to get some instant noodles off the cargo ships this morning!

Ilia: The word you're looking for is "stole."

Blake: I'm willing to ignore that fact if I don't have to eat another meal made out of bugs.

Weiss: I second that.

Yang: Thanks for making dinner for us!

Ruby: Yeah! We really appreciate it!

Everyone digs in, and the table is thrown into chaos.

Weiss: (whole body is crimson and fire is bellowing from her mouth)

Ruby: (face has melted into her cloak and sweat is pouring down her face) WHADKFOIDOOFEUS?!?!?!

Ilia: (scales have turned red, and a sweat is pouring down her face, but she is still eating) This kind of reminds me of Menagerie. What kind of noodles did you steal, Sun?

Sun: (coughing but chowing down) Some package that had a chicken on it. I thought the cartoon on the front was funny. (Coughs and hilds up empty package)

Yang: (sweating with little heated exhales but somehow managing to eat faster than Ilia and Sun) Is all of the food in Menagerie like this?! Blake, can we move to Menagerie after we get married?

Blake: (eating delicately and savoring every moment. Not a single bead of sweat, but her cheeks are pink) Let's focus on the wedding first, Yang. I think Weiss is dying.

Weiss: (soul is leaving her body while Ruby gives her CPR)

#bumbleby #spicy food challenge #Buldak is no joke #poor weiss #yang xiao long #blake belladonna #ruby rose #weiss schnee #sun wukong #ilia amitola #blake is a spice queen #weiss can't handle the heat #rwby crack post #rwby incorrect quotes #rwby shitpost

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meowjings-arsb · 3 months

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Possibly even more on crack Stardew headcanons and whatnot because yes 👍

First post

Void chickens are burnt

With enough void mayonnaise, you could possibly obtain the goblin Henchman’s loyalty if only that the Witch doesn’t curse you first

All rabbits are honed in the fine art of keychain making. Hence the lucky rabbit feet they give off

We still don’t know where they’re getting the extra feet though…

Junimo have short, soft, fluffy fur 🍏

They’re also squeezable like a stress ball or a balloon filled with slime

Don’t take (much) fall damage or injury from being tossed at stacks of cans 🥫, but that’s very mean so why would you do that-

From what the witch remembers, humans typically hate void chickens because their eggs are gross but aPARENTLY she guessed wrong with the farmer when she cursed their hen house. She wanted them to eat the egg out of curiosity and suffer for a day or two but noooooo they INCUBATED it out of curiosity instead of consuming it ahhhhhhhhhhhh

She guessed right on cursing the slime hutch with black slimes though because we all know naughty children hate coal.

Gil at some point did a joke slime making video using an actual cave slime, and people just thought it was cool effects and CGI stuff. So now he’s a hit with the slime making fantasy types

Marlon also walked in on him giving a slime a glitter bath. Gil also had glitter all over his face from the slime hitting him head on.

Most of the decorations for the festivals are stored in Pierre’s, the Saloon’s, and the Community Center’s attics

Pierre, Caroline, and Abigail are a family with Spirits Eve colored hair and are therefore— Spooky~

Sometimes… when he’s tired of fish but still wants meat… Willy may eat… a bug steak 🥩

No one thought or knew that the farmer was going to ask someone to dance at the Flower Dance, and so they didn’t even think to get them a proper outfit for the occasion

Or no one had a spare outfit that fit the farmer and just didn’t care to get them one at that point

OR the farmer just outright didn’t want to wear the dance outfit because ew

We have no idea why they didn’t dress up for their own wedding though

The large candy canes placed around the town and sold as decorations at the Feast of the Winter Star and the Night Market are indeed edible 👍

I think that was already canon, but Gus why are you putting them in the dirt-

Shane was persuaded into getting Animal Crossing New Horizons. His island is full of chicken villagers plus Punchy.

Went feral and then sad for a hot minute upon learning of Hector’s existence and him not being in New Horizons

Grandpa’s bed, was in fact, a ping pong table 🏓

The farmer passing out at 2:00am at the latest and waking up at 6:00am at the earliest is a weird internal clock thing. Probably developed from working at Joja Co™️ all those years

Mr Qi personally sent that strange figure who sells the farmer a Farm Warp Totem to be there at the Night Market because he knows the farmer is gonna forget to check the time and then pass out on a mad dash back to the farm

Mr Qi also cannot possibly be human. What is he really? An elf? Vampire? Sorcerer? Snake hybrid? 7 Junimos in a trench coat? Just a man who spray paints himself blue for the aesthetic?

If you have ever seen Caroline’s tea cutscene, then you should know that the tea she drinks probably has a non-zero amount of cannabis in it.

Or maybe not… but like… why was there a lil squid person in there? Drinking tea aswell?? And disappeared with a puff of steam/smoke????

Actually- the tea she had was green, very sparkly and ripple-y. I bet Rasmodius had something to do with it. Because you know what happened with Rasmodius’s tree cutscene and uh… *cough* *cough* that other thing about the wizard-

Professor Snail has a snail under his hat named Mikey 🐌 that he picked up from the month he spent trapped in a cave

The kids of pelican town (Jas, Vincent, + Leo maybe) and the ASS trio (Abigail, Sam, Sebastian), are knowledgable of Krobus’s existence at least somewhat. Also Willy and Gunther 👌

Mr Qi eats Junimos🍏 ..sometimes-

Why? Because they’re like apples, he’s a mysterious son of a gun, and because these are crack headcanons that’s why-

Rasmodius is actively trying to get him magically banned from entering the community center and any other place currently occupied by them…

(spoiler?) …including Jojamart™️

Mr Qi’s outfit actually glows in the dark with a buncha tiny lights and glittery bits. Also shiny like a disco ball maybe ✨

Just hit him with a high powered flashlight and he becomes this ✨

Willy has seen the horrors 🐟

The Iridium bar required in the slime hutch, contrary to popular belief, is not just used as an extra brick for fun. Robin’s gotta smelt it down and add a lil bit of its essence to every stone making up the walls and foundation. (Hard work, y’know?). One bar is just enough to bless the hutch and requiring more seemed to be asking for too much.

Haley follow’s the Queen of Sauce’s Stardew equivalent of Instagram

Junimo Kart should not exist

The whole 100 floors down Skull Caverns was a ruse in an attempt to kill you, the farmer, but it failed because you didn’t die on the whole trip down and are also somehow immune to snake milk (venom). Whatever doesn’t kill you makes you stronger I guess 🤷‍♂️🥛🐍

The farmer is indeed a cryptid. They don’t even breath

Instead of actual armor they instead rely on boots and rings for their protection??? They HAVE a hat, shirt, and pants slot, they CAN wear more armor than just boots if they had any but noooooooo. They like dancing with death so it seems

Actively just challenging Yoba to smite them: Being able to just consume food you really shouldn’t (ex. Void mayonnaise, mushrooms) and do it again once out of the hospital, Just carrying metal tools in thunderstorms, Being able to get hit by the valley’s train and brush it off, Repetitively going into the mines and Skull Caverns despite Harvey’s warnings, Drinking a weird unnatural drink offered by a mysterious stranger twice, also if they get their hands on it, carrying around freaking RADIOACTIVE ore without protection like it’s nothing????

Like I’m still not over the radioactive ore, even if I’ve never encountered it yet-

Also whatever the heck is happening on the Ginger Island dungeon? I’m pretty sure that’s lava everywhere in there??? And you just use your dinky watering can to cross it like no big deal??????

Stardew Valley so just so wild man

At least one person’s gonna be pissed at the farmer if they caught the legendary fish, put them in their fridge, and accidentally made sashimi with them. Maybe Gordy and Tex…

Also proof that the farmer is a cryptid is that they can catch all 5 legendary fish and their relatives without a sweat. Like Willy’s been at this for years. Also where do the relatives come from-

The fact that Pierre hates being given legendary fish is weird to me. I feel like that’s a boasting opportunity to have one in his funky lil shop.

I feel like Willy should also be happier than neutral upon being given the honor of owning one of these legendary fish. Or maybe he’s equally surprised as he is pissed that he wasn’t the one to do it and it cancels out.

Actually- maybe he catch and released? I’m too tired for this man

Gordy in The Fisherman Act ll is a wuss

The Crystalarium just can’t handle the Gay Shard’s power. Haley also can’t handle the Gay Shard apparently.

If you give a Junimo hut a Fairy Stone, are you just giving them the fossil of a long dead relative of theirs? Would that be weird?

If Abigail ate a fairy stone, would she be cursed by the fae for like… eating their crystallized bones

Forget what I said earlier about Emily wielding a parrot perch, she uses the unobtainable Holy Blade now- 🗡✨

If the farmer ever sees the green creature at the pelican town docks, just know that they probably hate you

Your dad probably has a rock collection. Why else is he sending you quality stones

#just your usual Wednesday afternoon crack headcanons #I had most of this done earlier but it didn’t feel long enough so eh. here you are #I haven’t reached Ginger island yet. or played Stardew in a while tbh. oof #my stoof #signatured #a portion of this is just me rambling about how weird sdv is tbh #my writing #sdv #stardew valley #did you know. that I have not died once in my whole stardew play through so far. I did the 100 floors challenge too!#I’m not counting passing out at 2am. because that’s happened at least twice #once on my own farm and another trapped in a spiral level of the mines after loosing track of time #Robin was legit building a coop next to me when I passed out too and Joja STILL charged me for it!

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daily-teki · 5 months

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41, Netflix trip pretty please?

Day 103: he can send email :>

#I’m not all that great with colour challenges but I gave it a crack at least #daily teki #teki yttd #your turn to die #yttd memory dance girl #teki tsutone #yttd #yttd dailies #yttd art #yttd daily #your turn to die art #your turn to die memes #yttd memes #shin ai #your turn to daily #your turn to dailies #yttd fanart #your turn to die fanart #cw eyestrain

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tweetsofyj · 7 months

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#challenge accepted #yellowjackets #jackie yellowjackets #jackie taylor #yellowjackets text posts #incorrect yellowjackets #yellowjackets memes #yj memes #yj crack #ella purnell

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