Monster Popularity Contest– Ixalan

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Last week my supporters were treated to 5 new monsters, each one from the verdant islands of Magic: the Gathering’s Ixalan setting! Normally my first release of each month is just 3 creatures, but I went a little further this time since I was adhering to some rules about MtG’s color identities.

I’m particularly proud of Beckett Brass, who I think has the most interesting design; but Gishath also turned out really well, given how easy it can be to make a big stompy dinosaur into something boring in D&D. No problems with that here though.

Airmark's Guide to Planar Vegetables: Tombstone Lily

Large plants with a greyish, woody trunk topped by a milky white flower, the tombstone lily's most stunning feature other than its size is the translucent, faintly luminescent pods that grow beneath the flower. These pods are not fruit- in fact, they are the equivalent of stomachs, as the tombstone lily does not feed on water and sun.

Tombstone lilies are unique among the Ethereal Plane's fauna in that they are actively dangerous to the plane's other main inhabitants, souls in transit to their final destinations. They lure, trap, and consume these ethereal remains of the living, and slowly digest them over time for their energy.

Once a tombstone lily has consumed seven souls of suitable nutritional energy, they go to seed- forming a seed crown similar to a dandelion, with seeds that disperse on the misty currents of the Ethereal mist. Cultivating these flowers on other planes than their natural environment proves difficult for most gardeners, given their nutritional requirements; however, they can survive tolerably on the soul-infused water of the rivers Styx or Oceanus, and a constant access to either is sufficient for cultivation elsewhere.

Tombstone lilies are intelligent, and use telepathy to converse with passers-by as they digest their pods' contents. They are very aware of the ethereal conditions nearby, and can direct travelers to areas of interest if prompted. They can, however, subsist on the living, and it is dangerous to approach them if their pods are not full.

“Do they [Laudna and Imogen] use spells when they fuck?” -Sam

From the start — Friends to Lovers ⊹ ࣪ ˖

(Dark ✧ Cacao)

Dark Cacao x GN!Reader (+ Baby Dark Choco added)

🏹 ⁺ ᰍ̠. ꒰͡ ㅎ ◌⃘ ̇

Fluff ノ 02 / 20 / 24 ✦

You've known Dark Cacao cookie for a while. Even before he was crowned king, you've always been close to him, a friend.

You were there for Dark Cacao cookie in his lowest when his wife died. And his highest, when Dark Choco came into this world.

But, right now. You couldn't tell if you were just his friend. You couldn't tell what he felt about you anymore.

"(Y/N) cookie.." He murmured into your ear. Baby Dark Choco present on your chest, sleeping soundly whilst his father held you close to him. All you did was come here to try and get him to actually spend time with his son instead of neglecting him whilst you had to take care of Dark Choco.

"I'm sorry about being so busy.." His sleepy murmurs filled your ears whilst Dark Choco sleepily cooed. His face was buried in your neck, whispering soft words into your ears, his warm breath on your skin. It was comforting to have him so close, especially after all that's happened.

Dark Cacao's cape wrapped around the three of you, keeping you all warm, his armor long gone around the room.

This was exactly where he wanted to be.

First Fic on this page! 👀

ㅤ▸ ۫ ♡ ִ ﹏ ׁ ২ ۪ ◂

This fanfic is actually booty 😓

If Lo-Lo sees this, my ass is gonna get beaten

Frostwind Virago Medium fey, neutral evil Armor Class 17 (natural armor) Hit Points 237 (25d8 + 125) Speed 30 ft., fly 60 ft. (hover), swim 20 ft. Str 17, Dex 22, Con 20, Int 16, Wis 17, Cha 20 Saving Throws Dex +11, Wis +8, Cha +10 Damage Immunities cold Damage Resistances bludgeoning, piercing, and slashing from nonmagical attacks Senses passive Perception 13 Languages Auran, Common, Elven, Sylvan Challenge 16 (15000 XP) Captivating Call. While speaking, the frostwind virago can force each creature within 300 feet of it to succeed on a DC 18 Wisdom saving throw or be charmed by the frostwind virago for as long as it remains speaking. A charmed creature can only take the Dodge action, and uses its movement on each of its turns to move its full speed toward the frostwind virago. The creature can repeat the saving throw if it takes damage, ending the effect for itself on a success. A creature that succeeds on its save is immune to the Captivating Call of all frostwind viragos for 24 hours. Frostwind viragos can't be affected by each others' Captivating Call. Legendary Resistance (1/Day). If the frostwind virago fails a saving throw, it can choose to succeed instead. Magic Resistance. The frostwind virago has advantage on saving throws against spells and other magical effects. Mind Freeze Aura. Whenever a creature starts its turn within 30 feet of the frostwind virago, that creature must succeed on a DC 18 Wisdom saving throw or have disadvantage on attack rolls and ability checks until the start of its next turn. A creature that fails its save by 5 or more is stunned until the start of its next turn instead. A creature that succeeds on its save is immune to the Mind Freeze Aura of all frostwind viragos for 24 hours. Actions Multiattack. The frostwind virago uses Icy Vortex if it is able to. It then makes two attacks. Frostbite Touch. Melee Weapon Attack: +11 to hit, reach 5 ft., one target. Hit: 24 (7d6) cold damage. Icy Vortex (Recharge 5-6). Each creature within 30 feet of the frostwind virago must make a DC 18 Dexterity saving throw, taking 28 (8d6) cold and 28 (8d6) piercing damage on a failed save, or half as much damage on a success.

These fey are the embodiment of the dispassionate cruelty of winter, and the fury of a raging blizzard. They usually live alone, but sometimes use frost giants as servants. They live in the remotest tundra, consuming mammoth meat and the like, getting water from the snow and ice. They are thoroughly malevolent, and despise warm-blooded creatures. They like to torment them before killing them, or lure them into particularly cruel traps. Despite this, they can be reasoned with, and sometimes will work with other creatures toward some common goal. Some powerful frost giant lords have a frostwind virago as an advisor or agent. A typical frostwind virago stands around 5 feet tall and weighs around 90 pounds. 

oh my god

oh my god look at him he--!

WAIT

AT MOST HE'S 13??

imogen: i actually am a little creeped out tonight.

laudna: 🥺

imogen: not by YOU obviously.

Yelled WHAT?!? https://twitter.com/literallytanner/status/1770130630421922229

me, with hair down to my waist: maybe i should cut my hair short...?

me, after seeing level 20 caduceus with hair down to his waist: maybe i should not cut my hair short

Happy Birthday to me, and eternal nat 20's to my sister for the best presents!

She also got me the Vox Machina d20 set. Whenever I get a new set of dice, I do a test roll right away to see how they do, and -

September Challenge– Days 22 & 23

And just like that my week of converting the Arena-exclusive mechanics from MtG was over. Technically I only had one more mechanic to convert (ignoring the impossibility of the Draft and Spellbook mechanics...) but I tossed Davriel in as an extra, since he works in a digitally-exclusive way and unlike any other card in Magic. Its a pretty fun idea too, and translates well to 5e

Monster Spotlight: The Norn

CR 18

Lawful Neutral Large Fey

Bestiary 3, pg. 202 (pic from 2e Bestiary 2, pg. 184)

Among the most powerful and mysterious of any Fey being, the Norn are ancient guardians (or perhaps creators) of Fate itself. They have an understanding of destiny and futures to come that makes them functionally omniscient... or it did, before Aroden went and bit it. Now prophecy is frayed and unwoven, destiny is severed and uncertain, and the future as it was once known is cast into question. Now more than ever, the Norn may be encountered by the races of man and elf as the ancient Fey wander the cosmos in an attempt to understand the Age of Lost Omens. The majority of their kind are attempting to come to terms with this new age of uncertainty, but some of them are becoming... desperate to reclaim what they once had, or correct what they perceive as an error, sometimes even taking drastic measures.

In most cases, fighting against a Norn is unthinkable and often unneeded. No, a party is more likely to seek a Norn's assistance than its assassination, because even with fate being unwoven, the wisdom of a Norn is valuable indeed. They're able to use both Divination and Vision at will, with the latter impossible for them to fail and the former such child's play for them that even the most cryptic of answers the spell could provide are parsed and solved with the ease of a physicist looking over a child's book of math problems. They're likely a quest-giver, if not a quest objective in and of themselves in the hopes that their foresight will allow a calamity to be averted. Be warned, though, that Norn rarely give out prophecies for free, and they do not accept gold. No, a party seeking one's assistance can be expected to be put under a Geas (which the fey can cast at will) and forced to undertake a specific task as payment for the masters of fate, either before or after they've provided their prophecy. Those who refuse to play along suffer from the fey's at-will Bestow Curse or, if they've been especially offended, the Norn may simply wave her hand and cast Weird on the entire party and be done with it.

Anyone that hopes to force a Norn to reveal its secrets has their work cut out for them. The fey have such a powerful understanding of What Is To Be that they have eternal Foresight, giving them glimpses of 6 or so seconds into the future on demand which, with Foresight covering short-term and Divination covering long-term, assures they're impossible to ever catch off guard. They're also protected by an eternal Mind Blank, True Seeing, AND Death Ward, all of which resume automatically on their turn if the effects are ever ended, dispelled, or expended, and all of which give them extreme resistance or even effective immunity to three of the eight schools of magic! Or, if you want to be generous, FIVE of the eight schools of magic; Enchantment crashes into Mind Blank, Illusion is thwarted by True Seeing, Necromancy struggles against Death Ward, Evocation has to contend with SR 29, as well as 30 Resistance to Fire, Acid, and Electricity (as well as outright immunity to Cold), and Divination cannot be effectively used against a Norn (because she's better at it). Adding to it, they have Moment of Prescience at 1/day and little reason not to use it at the start of the day to add +18 to any one d20 roll or to their AC in case of emergencies.

With magic struggling against these agents of feat, their DR 15/cold iron is comparatively tame. Don't rely on buffing a single combatant and sending them into melee, though, because Norn can shunt a target into a Maze 1/day to give her very dangerous room to think. Besides having Weird 1/day, to potentially oneshot the entire party, they also have 1/day Quickened Phantasmal Killer in case the full-party version misses someone... and these two are often all they need, because Norn can Shift Fate once per round as an immediate action, forcing any creature within 120ft to reroll a saving throw. Nice natural 20 against her PK! Unfortunately, roll again. There's no per-day limit or targeting restrictions on Shift Fate besides distance, making any Save-Or-Suck she throws out far more nerve wracking than it has any right to be. Thankfully, there's only the three; PK, Weird, and Bestow Curse. This is Paizo showing mercy, because PK and Weird require TWO saves, and Shift Fate can only affect one. Imagine if they came equipped with different ones... or had allies with more threatening spells at hand.

Shift Fate even works for the Norn herself, and once her 1/days are expended it's likely she'll be gifting herself with fresh saves every single round for the rest of the fight, making it even harder to affect one with spells! Or, really, any power that relies on saving throws. They have high saves already (18/18/21), making failure unlikely for them, so a level-appropriate party is going to struggle to get anything but basic weapon attacks to stick. Her weapon attacks are likely to stick, though, in more ways than one; their golden Shears act as +5 Mithral Keen Speed Scimitars in their hands, inflicting 1d8+12 damage up to three times a round... while having a crit modifier of 15-20, critically striking one out of every four attacks! In addition, being struck by the Shears, or even just by the touch of a hostile Norn (they can do both as part of a Full-Attack; watch out!), imparts 2 negative levels via Energy Drain. Here's a fun fact: Energy Drain doubles if the attacker confirms a critical hit! And with the high crit rate on their Shears, a Full-Attack from a Norn could saddle someone with anywhere from 8 to 16 negative levels! Though more realistically, it's "only" going to be maybe 6 to 10, but "only" 6 to 10 negative levels still means -35 HP and -6 to all rolls!

And between those terrible save penalties and being made to reroll saves, victims may find their fates severed. Three times a day, a Norn can unspool a length of golden thread and snip it as a single standard action, and this action inflicts catastrophic damage directly to the life force of any creature of the fey's choice within 120ft. This metaphysical severance inflicts 20d6 untyped damage (average: 68!) that cannot be dodged or resisted, only reduced by half by succeeding a DC 30 Fortitude save (and good luck with Shift Fate). If this damage kills the creature, they're gone for good. Only Wish, Miracle, or the intervention of a deity can restore someone who's thread was cut by a Norn.

What did you expect, trying to fight Fate?

You can read more about them here.

Moments of realization

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          (❀˙ᵕ˙） ┊                        ✪

Airmark's Guide to Planar Vegetables: Gehennan Grafting Tree

If no other plant in this flora encourages the reader to stay far from it, let it be the Gehennan grafting tree that does. Resembling a dark-barked oak tree from a distance, only the smell of cloying rot serves as many travelers' warning against the danger this predatory mimic poses. By the time a better view can be had through the choking ash and smoke of the Gehennan sky, the danger is upon them.

Once battle is joined, this tree's common name becomes clear: under normal circumstances, grafting is a practice of joining two plants or parts of plants together so they may grow as one. The gehennan grafting tree, born from a plane infused with selfishness, perverts this tendency to its own ends by rending flesh from bone and grafting it to its own trunk and branches.

Typically content to lie in wait before snatching prey out of the air or off the volcanic slopes of Gehenna's mountains, grafting trees are indiscriminate in their attacks, snatching fiery elementals, yugoloths, and mortals alike in their ever-ongoing effort to grow their own bulk by including animal flesh in their form. Capable of tapping into internal reservoirs of toxic volcanic gases, these trees remain difficult to locate and attack in their self-generated smoke screens.

Grafting trees are both mobile and intelligent, and are thus capable of setting their ambush anyplace they choose and offering to work with others for short-term gain. They also seem to have some culture of their own, and will periodically meet to compare their newest acquisitions in a ghoulish spectacle not unlike a county fair in reverse.