Xue Yang: Hey Xiao Xingchen, are you a painting?
Xiao Xingchen: .... No, why?
Xue Yang: Because I wanna nail you against a fucking wall.
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Wei Wuxian: would you still think i’m hot if i was evil
Lan Wangji: if by “evil” you mean rebelling against the orthodoxy that was actually so incredibly attractive i almost threw up though i actively tried to ignore it at the time
Lan Wangji: your face is very red, what is wrong
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Lan Xichen: Do you mind if I slyly mention that you’re single?
Lan Wangji: Do not do that.
Lan Xichen: You won’t even notice!
Wei Wuxian, entering: Zewu-Jun, you wanted to see me again?
Lan Xichen: Wangji's single
Lan Wangji:
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Lwj: I will but in ways you don't yet know
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Then there is wei wuxian wondering how lan wangji found out who he was...
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They're on a date
(new version because I'm stupid)
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Wei Wuxian: When I was born, I had to choose btw being handsome or having good memory!
Lan Wangji: So which one did you choose?
Wei Wuxian: I can't remember!
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Lan Wangji: why are you touching me
Wei Wuxian: i am? five feet away from you??
Lan Wangji: i can feel your presence. begone
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Wei Ying single dad of two (he adopted both Wen Yuan and Mo Xuanyu)
Then he meets Lan Zhan and he turns into a trophy husband but I’m too lazy to draw that
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Lan Wangji: We're having a baby.
Lan Sizhui: Oh, congra-
Wei Wuxian, slamming adoption papers onto the table: It's you, sign here.
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