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whatupitsastarrynite · 3 years

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Yoga

Prompt:

Sooooo LOL imagine EZ walked in your shared home while you’re doing yoga. Ever since quarantine you took up focusing on just self relaxation, whether it’s to drink, smoke weed, fuck your man or dabble in yoga. You were already stretchable, but you wanted to make your limbs a bit more loose. EZ loved it when you did the splits while he was deep in you, how wide your legs parted to accommodate his size. He walked in, watching as you followed the yoga instructor.

You had heard him come in, his heavy boots echoed all the way from the front door of the room you both currently inhabited. You smirked as your yoga instructor began his next pose.

Downward dog.

“Hey baby… how was the club today?” You asked as you bent at your waist and planted your hands on the mat.

Ez bit down on his bottom lip and shook his head slightly.

“It was alright. It's different being fully patched but, I like it..”

You hummed and walked your hands to the top of the mat and stretched out, making a reversed V with your body.

Ez took a couple more steps towards you before he stopped again.

“How many days do you do yoga now…? Ez asked

"Um, like 3 or 4 days. Why?”

“Just wondering how many days your yoga instructor gets to see you bent over in…. compromising positions.” He retorted.

You slowly walked your hands back to your feet and then stood up slowly. Your eyes found Ez’s as you went into your final pose- the tree pose. While you balanced on one leg, Ez let his eyes trail up and down your body.

Your outfit of choice was some light pink high waisted nike leggings paired with a matching crop top. It was one of your favorite outfits and based on the way Ez’s eyes were darkening, you figured it was quickly becoming one of his favorites too.

“Alright ladies and gents. We’re all done for the day. Let’s close out our stretches with some deep breaths.”

You smiled at your boyfriend and slowly closed your eyes to inhale three big breaths. You could feel Ez getting closer to you with every breath you took and by the time you opened your eyes back up, he was standing a mere inch away from you.

“Need something baby?” You asked innocently

Ez evaluated your body again before his fully blown out eyes found your mischievous filled ones.

“Yeah…I do actually.”

You slowly bent down to click your yoga video off and you closed your computer gently before you settled on your knees in front of Ez. He looked down at you, towering over you like a God and all you could do was smirk back up at him.

“Did you want something baby?” Ez echoed your question from earlier

You chuckled softly and let your fingers dance around the button of his jeans.

“Maybe I wanna taste you”

“Taste me baby?” He smirked, bending down to tilt your chin up. He kissed you, a few pecks at first before he slipped his tongue in between your lips. He cupped your face with one of his enormous hands. Pulling away, he rubbed your lips with his thumb.

“You taste so good baby. Why not take daddy out and taste him?”

You smiled devilishly, unbuttoning EZ’s jeans. He was already semi hard. You licked the outline of his cock through his boxer. He groaned, looking down at you, your eyes looking up at him. You pulled his boxer down, and your smile grew at the site of his beautiful dick.

“Are you always hard and ready for me daddy?”

“Whenever I see you, my dick becomes instantly hard baby.” EZ watched as you licked your shaft moving up and down, doing kitten licks at the tip of his cock. Wrapping your hand around his cock, you spat down at his cock, lubricating it. “Whenever I do yoga, all I could think of is how good it would feel if you fucked up while I’m doing a yoga position.”

“Yeah baby? But what I really want is for you to take me in your mouth like the good girl I know you to be.” EZ rarely controlled things in his life, he was seen as the textbook good guy, but people just chose not to see how rough he can be.

You loved it when EZ was rough, but half the time, you had somewhat the control, with EZ assisting you, at least that’s how he made you feel.

“How do you want it?”

“Your mouth around him, taking me deep like you always do.”

You took him in your mouth, going all the way down till you were choking around him. EZ moaned out your name, his cock was wet with your saliva. The nastier, the better, the wetter, the better, that’s how EZ liked it.

You bobbed your head up and down, taking Ez in with such ease. Releasing him with a pop, you moved your hand up and down EZ’s length, your eyes hooded as you looked up at him.

“God baby, I love you.”

Your eyes never left his face as your hand moved up and down his shaft in a rhythmic fashion. You watched as his face contorted into a pleasurable expression- his breathing was coming out more ragged and his head was leaned back, exposing his neck to you.

You pumped your hand a couple more times before Ez let out a strangled groan and took a step back. His dick fell from your hand and you had to physically stop yourself from crawling over to him and taking it back.

“What?” You whined.

Ez let out a breath and smiled down at you. His long fingers extended out towards your face, as he cradled your cheeks in his hands. His thumb stroked your skin, and then he slightly pulled up, silently signaling for you to stand.

You followed his pull and rose to your feet, still never taking your eyes off your boyfriend's face. On the way up, his exposed dick dragged across your stomach, leaving precum in its wake and causing a new wave of arousal to escape from in between your legs.

“Undress me..” Ez said simply.

You didn’t hesitate and quickly made work of removing his clothing. First to come off was his kutte, which crumpled to the floor when you tossed it to the side. It was quickly joined by his basic white tee, pants, boxers and shoes. He was left to stand in the room completely naked except for his gold chain.

“Aren’t you going to undress me now?” You questioned as you took a step towards Ez.

Your covered chest brushed up against his exposed one and goosebumps broke out over your skin.

Ez’s eyes searched your face for a second before he slowly dragged his fingers up your arms. Each time his fingers touched your skin, you felt like you were on fire. You were burning from the inside out and you knew that heat would only be calmed by one thing and one thing only.

He was smooth with his actions, quickly removing your sports bra and your tights in two swift motions. The only thing you were left in was your underwear, but instead of taking it off, Ez stepped back and started at your exposed body.

“You are so fucking beautiful.” Ez whispered softly, like he was praying to someone up above.

A small smile made its home on your lips and you took it upon yourself to discard your panties and throw them onto the pile of used clothes. You stretched your arms up which caused your body to lengthen in a way that Ez found extremely addictive.

His mouth began to water and he couldn’t control his urges any longer. He closed the distance between the pair of you and his strong arms wrapped around your waist, he picked you up and quickly moved over to the couch. He spun your bodies around as he sat. His back was against the couch and you sat perfectly on his lap, his hardened member slid in between your wet folds as you adjusted your body and you both let out a low moan.

“What do you want Ezekiel?” You questioned in a breathy tone.

Ez’s hands spread themselves across both of your ass cheeks and he spread them slightly before he brought his left hand down to smack your left cheek.

“I want you to hurry up and get on my dick... and then bounce up and down on it like I know you can.”

You moaned, loving it when EZ smacked your ass. You slid on his shaft, his tip hitting your clit. You grabbed your breast, biting your lip as you were basically getting off on EZ’s dick, sliding back and forth. Ez squeezed your hips, encouraging you as you sought release.

“Can I come daddy?”

“Yeah baby come on daddy’s dick.” You threw your head back, scratching EZ’s chest, moaning out his name. You were so wet, EZ just smirked watching you continue to move back and forth.

You moved, grabbing EZ’s dick and sliding down his length, your lips hovering over his as he held eye contact with you. He was whispering on your lips how good you felt around him, how you were such a good girl. When he bottomed out, EZ groaned, his mouth landing on the skin of your neck, sucking, nipping, leaving his mark. “You look so beautiful.”

Even though you were on top, Ez still controlled the speed. He was dominant, but he let you have the control in some sense. He told you what to do, how to do it and when he wanted it. You were good with instructions and EZ always brought maximum pleasure for you both. He knew your body so well.

His gold chain caught your eye, it was something you loved pulling while it hung above you. This time, you pulled it to bring EZ closer to you. He latched mouth on your nipples, while teasing the other. You felt yourself tightening around EZ, the moans escaping your lips were always loud and Ez loved it.

You placed your legs on EZ’s thighs, leaning back and placing your hands at the heel of your feet. You whimpered how different it felt, but it was so good.

“Fuck baby you’re so fucking flexible.” He strummed your clit, watching as you continue to move your hips up and down.

Every part of your body was on fire from the inside out, you could hear your heart beating in your ears and you knew that you were right on the edge of a massive orgasm. Ez kept pumping his hips in and out of you at just the right angle and speed and your head was beginning to spin.

Your body was shaking now and you couldn’t stop the sounds that were coming out of your mouth.

“Fuck Ezekiel!”

“Shit daddy that feels so fucking good!”

“More- please please please more!”

“I’m almost there...uhh shit shit shit shit.”

You tipped your head back and arched your back so that you were almost making a C on top of Ez’s lap. He let out a groan as his dick went impossibly deeper in you. One of his hands found their way to rest on your stomach, while his other hand continued to tweak and pull at your sensitive nipples.

Your body was almost at the tipping point, you just needed one more thing to push you over the edge and you whined in protest as your pussy clamped down on Ez’s dick.

“Come for me baby...let me here and feel it. Fuck...look at you- on my dick, so fucking beautiful. How did I get so lucky...” Ez praised.

His words went straight to your libido and it was the final push that you needed. One moment you were conscious of your body and the next you were being blasted into space where you had no concept of reality. It felt like you were floating yet at the same time it felt like every nerve in your body was going off. Your walls spasmed around Ez’s dick and you heard him moan out your name.

Before you could come fully back down to Earth, Ez wrapped his strong arms around your waist and yanked you up bringing your chest flush with his. He let his forehead rest against yours and the pair of you began to breathe the same hot air that was being shared between your overheated bodies.

“I’m so close Y/N.” He groaned.

Your limbs felt like they were each 1000 pounds but you managed to bring your arms up around Ez’s neck. Your nails scratched at the back of his head and you started to ground your hips down while he thrusted up into you. A perfect rhythm was set and despite just climaxing less than a minute ago, your body started to kick back up again and you could feel your stomach starting to clench in anticipation of another round of pleasure.

His arms tightened around your center more and he held you roughly as he thrusted up into you repeatedly- at this point all you could really do was hold on for dear life. You knew he was close, and you knew you were about to orgasm again, all it was going to take was a few more thrusts and you both would be falling over that pleasurable cliff together.

You felt it, you were over the edge, EZ was pulsating around you and just as you were about to get there, Ez fully slid out of you.

“Fuck!” You let out a frustrated sigh, your eyes connecting with EZ.

He had this mischievous glint in his eyes. He easily slid three fingers in your pussy, and you bit your lip, placing one of your hands on his forearm, tracing his vein, the other hand was caressing his cheek. You moved against his fingers, greedily sucking it in with your tight walls. You were breathing against his lips, open mouthed, Ez just watching you come undone.

“You coming baby?” He gripped your hip, guiding you as to how he wanted you to move. “I can feel you tightening up again princesa, pretend like my fingers are my dick.”

“I can’t daddy.”

He frowned at your answer, “why not?”

“It’s not as thick or long.” You groaned, EZ was working your clit again. “Right there daddy, fuck!” You came, tightening your hold on EZ’s forearm as you rode out your orgasm.

Ez pulled you down to meet his lips and before you could do anything else, he lifted you up and placed you on the floor against your yoga mat.

“Next time you’re in class and you’re doing all those moves with that instructor, you’re just gonna think of how good my cock felt inside you.”

You couldn’t even answer as he slid inside you once again. He pushed for legs against your chest, your legs were almost flat. He held your legs together and watched himself moving in and out, your pussy stretching to accommodate him. He didn’t let you think any further as he moved in and out of you, his pace was fast, unrelenting, and it felt amazing. You arched your back, scratching at his arms as he moved in and out, slower now, his climax coming.

“I love you mi amor.”

“I love you too Ez.”

And with just those three words, the validation and love he felt, Ez came, painting your walls with his cum. He slid out, his seed seeping out. You smiled tiredly, spent with EZ’s moves.

“Fuck EZ, maybe you should do yoga with me.” You teased moving to sit down, but choosing to crawl onto his lap instead, placing kisses on his neck.

“No baby, I’ll just watch you.” EZ chuckled. I have to say, I love how flexible you are.”

“Yeah, wait till I show you this new position I learned.”

EZ smirked. “Can’t fucking wait.”

#mayans mc #mayans #mayans fandom #mayans fanfiction #ez reyes #ezekiel reyes #ez reyes x reader #ez reyes x imagine #jd pardo

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ichika27 · 3 years

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Mairimashita! Iruma-kun s2 ep14

It’s gonna be the weekends soon and I forgot to make this post lol.

Continuing from their plans in the last episode, the girls go clothes shopping. Ameri looks good in the dress and was complimented for it but she has concerns about the outfit not being fit for battle. She has her priorities elsewhere.

Clara tries on a dress that's a bit too big on her for fun. The staff notices and a tiny demon is tasked to make it fit her perfectly which makes her beauty stand out.

I couldn’t take a whole picture of what she looks like entirely but I’m telling you I was surprised - Clara actually has a sexy figure. I mean I shouldn’t be that surprised with how both Ameri, Elizabetta, and Kerori (as an idol) look and they’re all around the same age but Clara I didn’t notice at all until now. Probably her childish personality and the clothes she wears (which most of the time is her school uniform) making her look like she’s younger. She actually looks more like her mom now. Anime genetics, man.

The whole group posed for a photoshoot! It would’ve been nice if the others tried on a different outfit, too.

They look like they just finished dancing in this shot lol.

Kalego-sensei is having... some kind of time. As it is a contest, Sensei can't refuse to do as the kids on his team asks even though it doesn't really work and he won't fake being happy for it. Meanwhile, the boys got invited to play some carnival games.

Team Kalego finally had some fun through the game but Team Baram posted a lot of pictures of Iruma having fun and thinking they might lose, they decided they'd go somewhere the other teams haven't gone to. The place they picked is somewhere Kalego-sensei doesn't approve of as he explains that there are dangerous areas in the park (other than the prison underground which I’m not sure if Kalego-sensei knows about, too). This park has a lot of unsafe places but this is the demon world so I shouldn’t be that surprised.

Iruma and Ronove are having fun it seems. Iruma is having the time of his life experiencing something he hasn't before while Ronove treats this as a little competition as he didn't think Iruma could keep up.

By the way, obviously Asmodeus is the one taking all these pictures. We should’ve known before but the show had to confirm it by showing Azz holding the camera and taking pictures happily. I bet his social media accounts are just full of Iruma pictures. Good advertisement for the future demon king, I suppose lol.

As Iruma tries catching up to Ronove to whatever they could go next at the park, he accidentally takes the wrong turn and gets lost... at the very place that Kalego-sensei was telling his team was dangerous.

Before he could get into trouble however, some kind but strange girl shows up to save him and take him back to the right path. They hang out a little and have some fun before she was able to take Iruma back to his group. She disappears afterwards without even telling him her name.

Her name is revealed to be Cedar and is a staff member who works behind the scenes in the park. But just like the other staff members the kids have been meeting the entire episode, they take their jobs as “Everyone’s Playmate” seriously and want to spread happiness to the visitors.

Iruma gets punished into playing as a monster at a kiddie playground cause of what happened (which he’s okay with). The kids are having fun attacking him and Asmodeus is close to losing it and committing assault on the children but was held back by the others. One of the kids around Iruma is roleplaying as member of Six Fingers. Azz explains that the real Six Fingers is a group made up of demons who underwent primal regression and they're pretty mysterious which made them popular as well.

Agares mentioned how he wasn't having fun and Ronove chalks it up to him wearing an eyemask and proceeds to take it off. And thus eyes reveal happened... he’s actually a bishounen! Ronove isn't happy that someone else is prettier than he is.

I’m just gonna say this: usually people enjoy fanservice and all and I was expecting the comment section to be talking about Clara’s new look but no, most people are talking about Agares. And they should! This boy is too pretty and shiny to be ignored. Ronove can do that but with his powers so Agares is a natural. No wonder Ronove is annoyed lol. He decided that maybe it’d be fine if Agares looks different and so Ronove plans to have him wear something else. The others thought costume change would be fun, too and follows.

While the kids are having fun, Wetotto excuses himself so he could send in a report with Baram-sensei watching over the kids for now. It is revealed with a convo with another staff that Wetotto and the other staff members we saw throughout the day are all new. And we finally get our reveal.

I did feel there was something strange about the guys running the carnival games but I didn’t suspect Wetotto (who I thought had been working there for a long time if he was charged with looking after the owner’s kid), the guys running the clothes store (they just seem like they fit there too much), and Cedar (who I thought had been living in the creepy part of the park for a long time). I should’ve realized the reveal before it happened when there are exactly 6 prominent extras this entire episode.

And now the destruction of Walter Park begins... and so does the exciting part of this arc!

The Agares entire face reveal was surprising. Almost all the boys in the series look good but as Ronove said, this one’s different (which he feels is a threat to his own looks). The guy needs a makeover to show off how pretty his face is lol. I would say the same about Clara but in a way, they're similar as a different look doesn’t seem like their style and is a huge contrast to how they act most of the time.

Kalego-sensei seem to know stuff about the park. I wonder if he knows about the underground prison as well? I’m not gonna be surprised if he does as he is a powerful demon that even one of the demon king candidates, Grandpa Sullivan trusts. I just realized that this must be the reason why Grandpa Sullivan had sent chaperones for the kids it’s not just him being comically overprotective of his grandchild, it’s him knowing about the dangers of Walter Park under the fun exterior. Kalego-sensei and Baram-sensei are both high ranking demons and I’m not sure if I remember if it’s been told but Opera must be as well since they’re stronger than both the teachers (with Kalego-sensei scared of Opera).

I’m wondering if Cedar is gonna have a change of heart since she seems nice and looked like she had fun with Iruma when they hung out but as light-hearted this show mostly is, Kiriwo-senpai still chose to be evil so I shouldn’t hold my hopes up.

This is gonna be an interesting arc with fights as not only do we have Iruma and the rest of the Abnormal Class who has their own special abilities but also their three very powerful chaperones. And Ameri is here and also Ronove-senpai (wonder what he could do in battle?). They’ll be fighting not only against the escaped prisoners but also the mysterious and powerful Six Fingers along with a bunch of monsters the group has released and also Kiriwo-senpai who has made a comeback! How exciting!

Thanks for reading this post!

#Mairimashita! Iruma-kun #welcome to demon school iruma-kun #anime #sana_post

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moniiyah · 4 years

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I'll be back. I promise. (part 2)

Pairing: Seoho X Gender Neutral Reader

Genre: fluff ( i guess?)

Warnings: none

Word count: 777 (Ok, i planned this one a little bit lol)

Summary: After your visit of fansign in Korea, you are back home, but still thinking about your experience with Seoho. You just can’t give up. There’s a light of hope when you see him wear the bracelet, you gave him.

If you haven’t read the first part, you should. Here’s the link: https://moniiyah.tumblr.com/post/190569222245/pairing-seoho-x-gender-neutral-reader-genre

It's been about three days since you came home from Seoul. Your meeting with Seoho left a huge impact on you. You catched yourself checking the official instagram of Oneus every five minutes, you know, in case Seoho posted a picture with the bracelet. "I just hope he didn't throw it away" you mumble. "But he's not the type to do that right? He definitely liked it. Right?" you start doubting everything. The best decision you made so far was to go to sleep, since you're still jet lagged and also to ease your mind a little bit.

You woke up about 2 hours after. Totally forgetting the bracelet situation that made you so nervous couple hours ago. You made yourself some hibiscus tea and went to watch Netflix in your bed. Then a notification popped up on your screen. "Official Oneus has posted a picture." That's where it all started again. You panicked. "What am I supposed to do if it's him? Should i comment about it? Make him remember me? But my comment will get lost between all of the other ones for sure." you did this for 15 minutes. Finally you got to the important part and that's opening instagram. Shit! It's Seoho's post. He posted 3 pictures in one post. First one being a selfie after a show. You swipe quickly. Second picture is him and Hwanwoong having dinner. Your hopes went down as you swiped to the last picture. You hardly swallow. The last picture is Seoho holding up his wrist, showing of the bracelet you gave him. You could swear your heart stopped for a minute. You went to look at the caption trying to read it in korean, but then you gave up and clicked the translate button. "I had so much fun today during our show. Please look forward to it our Tomoonies! hhhhh. Me and Woong had samgyeopsal for dinner! It was my third this week hhhh. But look at my new bracelet! It's pretty right? I'll wear it carefully, it's special to me. Please be careful everyone!" Your hands were shaking so much as you were reading it. "It's special to me" those words got stuck in your head.

Few weeks went by and Seoho had posted some pictures here and there, always making sure to show of his bracelet. Even in group photos he'd always have his wrist up making either their signature moon pose or a peace sign. You were feeling like on a cloud 9 at this point. It felt like a dream. But you wanted to show him, you're still there and thinking about him. You also wanted him to find a way to contact you, because you didn't want to text him on their official instagram so all of the members would see it.

You couldn't figure out what to do for the longest time, but then it hit you. You grabbed your microphone, put the music on and started singing passionately. You chose to sing "Talking to the moon", simply because Seoho sang it before and he knows the meaning of the lyrics. At the end you added quiet "I'll be back, I promise". In korean ofcourse. Then you posted that video on youtube, tagging Oneus in it. Also begging people in the comments to send them this video so they'll see it. You proceeded to post it on your instagram and instagram story aswell, tagging them everywhere. Last part of the plan was to put your kakao id into your bio on Instagram and Youtube. It wasn't the best choice since everyone could have used it but you kinda had no other choice. You hoped Seoho'd see it and text you, maybe you're naive but you're also desparate.

It's been a day already and nothing, no message, no comments not even a like from Oneus account. Maybe day isn't enough. Or maybe he's not interested. Trying to distract yourself you open Netflix and watch your favorite show. "Kakao" a notification made you jump. Thinking it's one of your friends from Korea you ignored it. After watching another episode you opened the message you got earlier. "I'm so glad i found you." "I looked everywhere, I even tried to go through every single follower we had on instagram but it was too much." You had to translate it, because your korean isn't that good yet. Meanwhile another messaged arrived. "Your voice is so beautiful." This time in english. "Nobody can beat your singing" you respond using the korean translator you always use. "I already miss you." You meant every word of it.

Time to plan another trip to Korea i guess?

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holydragon2808 · 5 years

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Dimitri, the Naïve King. Or Is He Really? Fire Emblem Three Houses (Personal Opinion) MASSIVE SPOILERS FOR THE BLUE LION’S PATH!

A few days ago, I made a post on why I found Edelgard less compelling than either Claude or Dimitri, but when I posted my Edelgard opinion, I wasn’t quite finished with the BE route. At the time I was at like chapter 17/18 so I figured that was far in enough to post a valid opinion though lol. But, now I’ve completed that route too, and I’m currently chapter 15 of the Silver Snow route, my last route to complete after having done GD first and then BL before BE.

Anyway, my Edelgard post actually got far more likes/reblogs than I anticipated (seriously, as popular as Edelgard is I thought I was gonna get roasted alive for my more “negative” opinion, so to speak lol), so I figured I’d push my luck again with yet another rather unpopular opinion, but this time regarding Dimitiri. There will be some major spoilers for the Blue Lions route in particular in this post (and the post may be a bit long too lol), so read at your own risk if you’ve yet to at least complete it. Final Warning!

I’ve seen quite a few people talk about how naïve Dimitri was in his own route (mainly on reddit), after a combination of circumstances and Byleth eventually snap him out of his revenge before reason stage simply because he chose to try and reach out to Edelgard.

And I disagree with that notion entirely.

Him being naïve in the sense that I’ve seen people implying would be him trying to reach out to Edelgard at the expense of everything else going on around him (and putting his friends/army at risk). He never takes his desire for reconciliation with Edelgard that far. When Felix directly asks Dimitri if he’s prepared to kill Edelgard should he not be able to broker peace with her (and even Dimitri himself admits to you in a support convo that it’s a long shot but he felt he at least had to try), Dimitri literally says that he will strike her down if necessary (and he does) even if it would go against his personal wishes.

Simply attempting to reach out to both his stepsister and now hated enemy in itself does not make him a naïve idiot. In fact, I’d argue that the notion actually shows that he has the makings to be a very sensible, compassionate and benevolent ruler. It shows that he’s willing to show compassion and understanding to even his enemies, treating them like they matter as people, and attempt to go out his way to try and find a peaceful solution to a conflict if he can.

What I also find interesting is that people are quick to give Dimitri flak for the proposal and write him off as naïve, all the while completely side stepping the fact that Edelgard chose to meet with him honorably under the terms Dimitri dictated.

Look, if we’re going to be fair about all of this, then would that not make her just as “naïve”, (considering she’s supposedly the “pragmatic well-intentioned extremist” enemy people claim) for not taking advantage of the situation to corner Dimitri and kill him right then and there? By this point she’s committed countless other murders, allied with shady people (Those Who Slither in the Dark) all in the name of “the greater good” (and she’s revealed to be the one who hired the bandits in the prologue to kill Dimitiri and Claude, she just got caught up in it and you and Jeralt end up saving all of them, kickstarting the main plot) so cornering a king with an army while he just brought the professor wouldn’t be “too cruel of her” to me. Just food for thought.

Since she chose not to take advantage of the situation dishonorably (and pragmatically), I can only assume that Dimitri’s desires and attempt to reach out to her despite everything wasn’t just naïve wishful thinking on his end, but rather a sensible gesture, even if he ultimately (and expectedly even from his end) failed to deter her from her destructive path. It would tie right in to song “The Edge of Dawn” since going by it’s Japanese name (Girl of Hresvelg), it’s about Edelgard’s longing for others to reach out to her (and her wishing she could do so in turn). As I mentioned in my other post, this was one of the reasons why I found Edelgard more compelling on this route than her own.

To try and drive my reasoning and point home, I have to spoil the moment serving as the true catalyst for Dimitri finally coming around on the BL route. Basically, a sad, vengeful little girl named Fleche holds a very understandable grudge against Dimitri and Byleth (whom I’m going to refer to the latter as a “she/her” from here on because I played a female Byleth who romanced Dimitri on this route). Anyway, Fleche, joins the army shortly after you’ve recruited Rodrigue under the guise of an unassuming soldier with secret murderous intent towards Dimitiri.

Eventually, she outs herself and holds Dimitri at knife point for him killing her older brother (General Randolph) during one of Dimitri’s “episodes” in a previous chapter. Just as Dimitri is about to accept the little girl’s rage (and the fatal knife attack), Lord Rodrigue shields Dimitri from the blow, fatally wounded in the process, and Byleth is forced to strike the child down (who couldn’t have been any older than Lysithea or Annette) in order to protect both Dimitiri and herself. A combination of Lord Rodrigue’s last words to him, seeing a child’s expression of dark revenge mirroring his own (and her being struck down at such a young age because of him), and Byleth reaching out her hand to him is what finally pulls him back from the brink entirely. He had no choice but to see and acknowledge all the suffering he left in his wake.

And he chose to face those feelings of regret and remorse head on, finding his way out of the darkness, all because someone (Byleth) reached out her hand to him.

Again, had Dimitri gone the opposite extreme, putting his desire for peace with Edelgard above his duty as a King (i.e., not killing her when clearly necessary to do so) then I would readily agree with the sentiment that he was too naïve for his own good. But he never does that.

Even after the final boss battle, when Dimitiri attempts to reach out to her one final time, by that point she’s rendered powerless. She can barely move let alone pose a threat to anyone in the moment. And when she still refuses, he finally does strike her down, acknowledging the fact that as much as they’d both like to reconnect with one another (again, Edelgard chose to meet with him under the terms he dictated prior to the final battle), it’s impossible at this point.

To me, all of this shows just how far Dimitri has come from the angry, revenge obsessed mess of a man he became during the five years Byleth was gone. Attempting to reach out ones’ hand despite how impossible it may seem isn’t a sign of weakness or naivety. It’s a sign of compassion and strength to me. It’s a message that needed to be conveyed. And I personally think that Dimitri’s path (and Byleth’s hand in helping him on his route) explored that beautifully. But again, just all my opinion.

#dimitri alexandre blaiddyd #dimileth #edelgard von hresvelg #fire emblem three houses #claude von reigen #fe th spoilers #azure moon #blue lions #byleth #female byleth #edelgard #dimitri

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daisyxbuckley · 5 years

Text

Afterlife//Mitch Rapp Series

A/N: DUN DUN DUN. Yeah I love breaking my characters so this isn’t anything new. And Imma warn you now, this series will NOT be a happy one lol. But yes second part is right here. Check out part one here Also check out my masterlist to get the previous series.

Description: It’s been six months since Mitch and Ophelia took down Ghost. Six months since Ophelia had to kill someone that she thought she once loved. Now a new threat is back and the only question is…with they both make it out alive?

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Ophelia was sitting in Irene’s office as the three of them waited for Stan to arrive. Mitch had quickly dressed and taken them back to the office, all the while trying to get Ophelia to talk about what was going on. When she refused, he had let it drop till they got back to the office.

O was bouncing her knee like it was the only thing keeping her connected to the earth. Mitch placed his hand on it to slow the bouncing down, but she paid him no mind as she kept chewing on her lip. Stan crashed through the office a few seconds later slapping a file down on the desk. Grabbing the remote to the projector in the room, he turned it on while Irene pressed some keys and they all looked over. A mugshot appeared on the screen of a man in his late 30’s with cropped brown hair and blue eyes. He was glaring at whoever was taking the picture and Mitch could feel Ophelia tense up when the picture appeared.

“4 days ago, Kiernan O’Connell escaped from HMP Barlinnie, a high security prison in Glasgow, Scotland.” Stan looked at Ophelia as she put her head in her hands pulling at her hair. Mitch rubbed her back as he looked back up at the mug shot and to Stan’s face.

“Fuck me sideways.” She moaned looking up. “Why haven’t we heard about this yet? We should of been the first ones they fucking called when he went missing.” Stan and Irene looked at each other with a knowing look before Irene spoke.

“Because it’s Interpol.” She said carefully. “And Ophelia you’re supposed to be dead.” Mitch looked up at that.

“What the hell is she talking about?” He asked looking at Ophelia. Stan crossed his arms as he leaned against the table in the office, watching his daughter pick at her nails. This wasn’t something that she thought she would have to revisit and he knew that.

Ophelia sighed and turned to face Mitch. Her knee had stopped bouncing and she took his hand in hers before speaking. “You and I haven’t really talked much about our pasts..we both figured it wasn’t something that needed to happen, but I was wrong.” Mitch just stared at the girl as she struggled to say what she needed to say. “Before I met Ronnie and started training with Orion..I was undercover. They recruited me into the CIA at twenty years old because I was good at what I did. They needed me to be on a mission that involved both CIA and Interpol. Pose as an arms dealer and convince Kiernan to buy from me.” She said running a hand through her hair.

“Buy what?”

“Guns, ammo, other big weapons. You name it I was supposed to be able to have it.” She said shrugging. “Needless to say we found out that I could get more information from him, information that would help us take him and his entire operation down, so I did.” Ophelia refused to meet his eyes as Mitch realized what she meant. “I lived with him for about 10 months undercover. I was a completely different person. Looked different, acted different, spoke differently. No one outside of this office knew my real identity.” She said grabbing the remote. Pressing the next button, another picture flashed across the screen that made Mitch look.

The smile was what he recognized, but it ended there. “You were blonde.” Was all he said as Ophelia laughed a bit “Yeah..blonde was not something that I chose myself. Apparently that was the kind of woman he was attracted to.”

“Something happened. Interpol jumped the gun as usual, they decided to move in on him before we were ready. Because of it they ended up blowing my cover.” Ophelia leaned back into the chair and sighed. “We had to fake my death. According to the world Elizabeth Kane died in a car accident. So we thought I was safe.”

“Apparently not since 5 years later he still holds a grudge.” Mitch said gruffly. “So what do the flowers mean?”

“White lilies were the flower that Elizabeth loved. Every time he had to travel I would come home to a house full of them. It was his way of telling me that I was always on his mind.” Looking up at Stan, Ophelia straightened up. “So what now?”

“Now, your ass goes into hiding and we find this piece of shit.” Stan said as he stood up fully. Ophelia followed suit and returned the glare on his face.

“Oh my fucking dead body. I am the only one in this world who knows him. I can predict his moves before he does. You need me!” She yelled at him. Irene and Mitch just stood at the pair not saying a word as they argued.

“Ophelia no. I’m not putting you in a position that might get you killed.” He said as his voice rose. He never broke eye contact with her as he spoke again. “Rapp. Take my daughter to one of the safe houses. Don’t say what one, just go.” Stan said finally looking over at Mitch who nodded. “I'll contact you about plans later.” He said as he walked out of the room.

****************************

Mitch stared at Ophelia as he took her back to the apartment to grab some clothes. “Stop here.” She said pointing to the front.

Shaking his head, Mitch continued on to the garage. “You’re not going in there alone. You’re out of your mind O.”

“Mitch I’ll be in and out in five minutes.” She tried to say as he shook his head.

“No fucking way.”

Ophelia entered her apartment and headed towards the back where her room was. Slamming the door in Mtich’s face, he sighed and took that as a cue to go sit down and wait.

Cursing to herself, Ophelia grabbed a bag as she started throwing clothes into it. Hearing a buzzing she grabbed her phone and frowned when she saw that it wasn’t ringing but she could still hear the buzzing. Looking around her room, Ophelia tore she sheets off her bed and started rummaging through drawers. Finally finding the phone she looked at the number before answering it. Not saying a word, she listened to the light breathing on the other end.

“I’m glad you answered Elizabeth. Or should I say Ophelia.” The voice on the other end made Ophelia’s blood run cold.

“What do you want Kiernan.” She whispered. At this point, Ophelia prayed that Mitch had stayed in the living room.

“What I want is you, I want you dead Ophelia. I want you dead for killing her.”

“Kiernan I didn’t kill Layla. I’m sorry for what happened but she wasn’t with me when I was extracted.” Ophelia said quickly looking around the room as she threw more stuff into her bag.

“I like the new look Ophelia. The brown hair suits you a lore more than the blonde.” Kiernin’s voice rang in Ophelia’s ear as she stopped dead. “I see that your little boyfriend likes it too. Mitch is his name right?” O heard a beep in her ear as she pulled the phone away.

The first picture was of her on a jog in the park next to her house. The next picture was of her and Mitch relaxing on the couch one night. The third picture was of them in bed together. Bringing her phone up to her ear, she tried to steady the shaking hand that held it. “I will kill you. If you go near him or anyone else, I will fucking kill you.”

“Until you give me what I want, I will continue to go after them Ophelia. No one will be safe as long as you’re around.” The click of the phone signaled that he had hung up and Ophelia just stood there for a few more minutes trying to calm her mind. A knock on the door startled her out of her freak out and she turned around and wiped her eyes before opening it.

“Hey..we need to head out here soon.” Mitch said looking at the girl in the doorway. She had been crying, that much was for sure. But he didn’t know if it was from everything that was going on or if she had something else on her mind. Her eyes softened when she met his and she nodded.

“Yeah..just let me get my bag.”

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The ride to the safe house took about four hours. Halfway out of the city they ditched the car and their cell phones. Mitch picked up a burner phone at a gas station and they continued on. When they finally made it to a little cabin in the woods, Ophelia was struggling to stay awake. She had yet to sleep and knew that she needed it. Mitch grabbed their bags and some of the food that they had picked up and brought it inside with her behind him.

The cabin was small. Had one room and one bathroom, but it was cozy. And the best part was, it was where no one could find them. Ophelia walked over to the bathroom and stripped down as she turned the shower on. Testing the water before she got in, she pulled the door shut and just stood under the stream. Her eyes were closed and she knew that her skin was probably going to be red as hell when she got out, but Ophelia didn’t care. She knew that she couldn’t relax. When they ditched their phones, she didn’t tell Mitch about the burner she had and she knew that Kiernin can track it.

Hearing the door open, Ophelia opened her eyes and saw Mitch poke his head in. “Hey I was thinking about making something to eat. You hungry?” He asked. Ophelia shook her head and put the shampoo in her hand, working it through her hair. Mitch sighed and stripped his shirt and jeans off.

“What are you doing?” Ophelia asked him as he stripped his boxers off. She had to fight her gaze as her eyes started traveling down his body. Though they basically lived together it had been a bit since they had been together intimately and Ophelia would be lying if she said that looking at Mitch wasn’t making the heat between her legs grow. Before she knew it he was standing right in front of her. The only noise in the shower was the water hitting the floor as the two just stared at each other.

Mitch slowly reached his hand up and cupped her face smiling a bit as she leaned into it. She had missed his touch like this and Ophelia hadn’t realized how much she craved it till she had it again. Mitch leaned down towards her and pressed his lips to hers as their eyes closed. What started out as a slow and hesitant kiss soon turned into something much more forceful. Something that both of them needed. Tongues battled for dominance as Ophelia snaked her arms around his neck. Mitch’s hands dropped down to her waist and pulled her close, his hardness pressing into her stomach making the girl moan. Moving his hand down between them, Mitch moved a finger in between her legs and traced her folds, eliciting a moan from the girl that made him smile. Inserting a finger inside of her, Ophelia gasped as her legs parted a bit more to allow him access. This wasn’t what she wanted though.

She wanted him.

“Mitch...I need you. Please.” She gasped out trailing kisses down his chin to his shoulder. “I just want you.” She said as he pulled back and looked at her. His eyes were black from lust and Ophelia knew that she mirrored that. The water had drenched his hair, making it fall in his face as she moved up to push it back. Moving up to press her lips to Mitch’s, she felt him move his hands down her as and squeeze before he hit the back of her thighs.

“Jump.” He growled as he lifted her up. Ophelia jumped up wrapping her legs around his waist. Mitch reached down and positioned her against him as he pinned her up against the wall. Before she could react, he pushed himself into her with no warning. Ophelia gasped as he started moving against her forcing her up the wall every time he entered her again. Her nails dug into his back as her eyes closed and the moans that she couldn’t keep in anymore, slipped out of her mouth. Mitch let his head fall into the crook of her next as he peppered her chest with kisses, gently nipping bits of her skin causing her to dig her nails further into his skin and smiling at the cries of pleasure that fell from her lips.

Ophelia could feel herself getting close. It had been so long since she had been touched like this with him that she forgot how quickly he could bring her to a climax. Squeezing her legs tighter around his waist, he knew that she was close and picked up his pace. Before either of them knew it the high that they chased after had come over them and all that came out of their mouths was the heavy breathing and content sighs. Ophelia unhooked her legs and Mitch gently lowered her to the ground. Her back as still pressed against the wall when he wrapped his arms around her waist and pulled her into the water stream. For a bit they just stood there, letting the water fall on them, breathing in the smell of the other. Mitch loved that she always smelled like warm vanilla sugar from the body wash that she used. She smelled like home to him, she had since the moment he met her.

“I love you..you know that right?” He mumbled into her hair as he kissed the top of her head. Ophelia nodded looking up at him and smiled. “I know..I love you too.” She whispered. And she did, with her entire heart. And that’s what made everything that she was about to do so much harder.

“Come on, let's get something to eat.” He said as he turned the water off. Grabbing towels for them both, Mitch wrapped one around his waist as he held the other one out for Ophelia to step into. After drying off and getting dressed, she followed him out into the kitchen. Mitch popped a pizza in the oven and opened two beers for them. Ophelia took a sip of her’s before just watching him move around the kitchen. His back was towards her when he spoke but she knew that he had a smile on his face.

“You’re staring again.” He said gently.

“Well it’s kind of hard not to. You’re not exactly ugly Mitch.” She said laughing. He turned around and leaned against the counter and returned her smile. It was one that she didn’t see often when they first met, and it was still something that he reserved only for her. Ophelia stole a glance at the clock and noticed the time before standing up. Heading back to the bathroom she locked the door as she set her beer down on the sink.

Ophelia knew just how many sleeping pills needed to be crushed up to knock someone out for six hours. Sighing the girl quickly dumped the crushed up powder from the pills that Kevin gave her to sleep in the beer before putting the container back and heading back into the kitchen.

Mitch’s back was turned from her when she set her beer down and picked his up. Taking a swig she forced a smile when he looked at her and drank the now drugged beer. “Lets watch a movie okay?” She asked she said as she started into the living room. Sitting down with him she watched as he downed the rest of his beer and sat down next to her.

“God, I didn’t realize how tired I was.” Mitch mumbled as he pulled her closer. His chin rested on her head as she trailed her hand up and down his chest.

“Well we’ve had a long day.” She said quietly as she refused to look at him.

“No, I mean I feel like it hit me like a semi truck.” Mitch laughed a bit and rubbed his face. “If I didn’t know any better I would think I was drugged.”

Ophelia tensed up and through his haze, Mitch felt it. “O...what did you do?” His words were starting to slur now as his vision started to darken. He noticed the look of sadness on Ophelia’s face as she sat up. “Ophelia, what are you doing?” He tried to ask again but his mouth wasn’t working for him.

“I’m sorry Mitch.” She whispered as she pressed a quick kiss to his lips. “I’m so sorry, but I have to keep you safe.” She watched as his eyes finally fell closed and his hand dropped from her face to his side. Getting up Ophelia ran to the bedroom and threw on a pair of jeans and a shirt with a sweatshirt before lacing her boots up. Grabbing the burner phone and all her cash she ran out and towards the front door. Taking one last look at Mitch sleeping on the couch she hesitated...she didn’t want to leave him. But Ophelia couldn’t risk him getting hurt. Opening the door, she slipped out into the silent night.

Five hours later, Mitch woke up.

@cxddlyash @xceafh @stiles-o-dylan24 @dylan-obrien-fanblog @n0rdicstar

#mitch rapp x reader #mitch rapp #mitch rapp fanfic #mitch rapp imagines #mitch rapp x you #dylan o'brien #dylan o'brien x reader #dylan o'brian imagine #american assassin fanfic #stiles stilinksi imagine #stiles stilinski #stiles stilinksi x reader #stiles stilinski x you

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makeste · 5 years

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BnHA Bonus Rant: Top 10 Anime Betrayals

or, ITP makeste talks about the mysterious ~U.A. traitor~ and who it could be.

this was originally typed up as part of my recap for chapter 83 (which I won’t link here due to tumblr being picky about posts with links in them, apparently? but you can find it under the “makeste reads bnha” tag), but it got so long that I cut it out and made it into its own post. also, this post is spoiler-free, assuming that you are caught up with the anime. I haven’t gotten much further along myself (only up to chapter 141), so I’ll request for manga spoilers to be left out of any discussion lol.

okay, so! to start off, I’ve gone back and forth on the whole traitor thing. part of me doesn’t want there to be a traitor in U.A. because there are a lot of ways to fuck that up, story-wise. I don’t want it to feel forced, or for the other characters to look really stupid in hindsight for not having figured it out, or for the traitor to be someone I really like and so it ends up feeling weird and OOC because I was so sure they were a good guy. and also, I don’t necessarily think that a mole is the only possible explanation for the attacks on U.A. there are a other ways the villains could have been getting their information. mind control/mind reading, or disguises, or hacking into U.A.’s security, etc. there are other possibilities, and most of these don’t even require quirks to boot.

having said that, I will acknowledge that the fact that the story brings this possibility up repeatedly and discusses it at length makes it much more likely to actually be the case. otherwise it’s a waste of a plot seed. so fine, for the time being let’s assume there is indeed a traitor. and I know I said not too long ago that I wasn’t going to discuss this, but I say a lot of things, and it turns out I have some thoughts on this after all so. lol.

here are my top 10 suspects for U.A. traitor, ranked from least to most likely.

10. All Might

nah just fucking with y’all. it’s definitely not All Might.

9. Aizawa

yeah, gonna go out on a limb and say it's not the guy who was nearly murdered by the villains and sustained permanent damage in the USJ attack.

8. Vlad King

I feel like if it was Vlad, he would have tried harder to keep his own students out of the crossfire. also he has a dog. he’s a nice person, dammit. shame on you for suspecting this poor man.

7. Snipe The Sheriff

he’s not a prominent enough character to be the traitor. it wouldn’t be enough of a shock.

6. Midnight

can we not have the sole female U.A. faculty member be the goddamn traitor please and thank you

5. One of the Students

first of all how dare you

but second of all, shit. I feel like this is the first of these options that’s actually a legit possibility, if only because the shock value would be off the charts. but I don’t like this because we’ve gotten to know almost all of these kids extensively, and they’re all goddamn heroes. these are good kids. don’t tell me one of them has been secretly evil this whole time. that’s not gonna fly, and would be incredibly difficult to pull off without it feeling contrived and stupid. but it would be shocking though, ngl.

there is, however, one exception to this, and it’s a big one. but I’ll get to that in a little bit.

4. Rat Principal

first of all, Rat Principal is clearly evil regardless of whether he’s a traitor working with the League of Villains or not. I mean just look at him. he’s a cute little rodent thing with an unparalleled IQ who likes to drink tea and plot things in his office. and also he was experimented on or whatever and is clearly a little deranged. really, the only reason I don’t think he’s the traitor is because he’s so overtly and unquestionably fucking evil that it would be way too obvious. let’s all just breathe a sigh of relief that this fiendish little capybara is on our side.

okay, so now we’re getting into the top three. these are the only people who I could actually see being the traitor, really. I could have just made this a top three and saved myself some time and effort, but then I wouldn’t have been able to post the picture of Nezu with the tea cup, so. I did what I had to do.

anyway

3. Tsukauchi Naomasa

okay, so I’m aware that this one doesn’t make much sense. for one, he’s not part of the U.A. faculty. for another, All Might trusts him, and he’s been privy to a lot of sensitive information that clearly hasn’t been passed to the villains. so it’s like, if he is a mole, then he’s a pretty bad one.

but. on the other hand:

he may not be part of the faculty, but he is best friends with one of them, and we know that he and All Might regularly share information with each other that’s supposed to be top secret. so it’s not outside the realm of possibility that All Might could have told him where the kids were headed without giving it a second thought, because he trusts him more than just about anyone

we don’t know what his quirk is, IIRC. it could be something that lets him extract information he wouldn’t normally have access to (like mind-reading)

the biggest secrets that he was in on (All Might’s weakened state, and Deku being the One for All heir) are, conveniently enough, things that All for One and Tomura also knew about. and no one questioned it, because of course AFO was the one who injured Toshinori in the first place, and the thing with Deku wasn’t exactly hard to figure out. but still. that’s a really helpful coincidence

there’s just something about his face that’s put me off since day one. I’m not sure what it is, but he’s almost too blandly nice? like it strikes me as the kind of face that could shift into a craaaazy evil expression with ease, and it wouldn’t look at all unnatural

idk, I just wouldn’t be at all surprised if and when this guy turns out to be evil af

2. Present Mic

loooooool oh boy I’m gonna get an earful for this one. okay but look. just hear me out

shock value for days. he’s Aizawa’s old school friend, isn’t he? basically he’s the perfect level of “established enough so as to be a shock without necessarily being whiplash-inducing.” he’s pretty much the only member of the faculty who hits that sweet spot of the audience being familiar with him even though we haven’t actually spent a lot of time with him in the actual series. we all love him, but we haven’t actually seen a lot of him. it’s not like Aizawa where we know he cares about his kids because we’ve seen it with our own eyes. we trust Present Mic because Aizawa trusts him, and because he seems like too much of a goofball to possibly be secretly evil

he’s another one with that type of face that normally seems non-threatening but could probably be twisted into a really menacing expression with surprising ease. it’d probably be really hot too

he is the first one to bring up the possibility of there being a traitor. “but officer, if I really was the murderer why on earth would I have called the police?” obviously to make it seem like you didn’t murder someone you clever fuck. don’t pretend like you’re all innocent

but seriously, it effectively makes him seem like a less likely candidate even though there’s no reason to believe that’s actually the case. very smooth. and I don’t trust it one bit

and last but not least, drum roll please...

1. Hagakure Tooru

yep, so in spite of her cute and cheerful personality, as well as the fact that she was one of the only class A kids injured in the forest lodge attack, Hagakure is actually my prime suspect for the following reasons:

her quirk is perfectly suited to espionage. this pretty much goes without saying

no one actually has any idea what she really looks like. because of her personality, we imagine that she’s cute and sweet and bubbly and innocent, but it would be such a great surprise if her appearance was finally revealed one day and it’s like “oh wow yeah she’s totally evil”

her personality is very much that of a “typical” teenage girl, to such an extent that it could easily be an elaborate cover. like, if you were trying to pose as a U.A. student, you couldn’t ask for a more disarming fake identity than that. basically no one is going to question it

now then, getting to the matter of the lodge attack. it’s true that she was injured, and at first glance would seem to make her being the traitor much less likely, were it not for two things:

the gas was non-lethal with no lasting side effects. assuming she knew this from the start, it would have been a very effective way to clear her from suspicion without putting herself at risk in any way

this makes her one of only two kids in class A (the other being Jirou) who didn’t know about the police raid and Kirishima’s planned Bakugou rescue attempt. meaning she couldn’t warn the League ahead of time. now, we know that the villains were pretty much blindsided by the raid, meaning that if there is a traitor, said traitor either wasn’t able to pass this information along, or chose not to. so ironically, this actually makes Hagakure look a whole lot more suspicious

lastly, we can’t actually verify Hagakure’s whereabouts during the USJ raid. she says she was with Todoroki, but he never actually saw her. that in itself isn’t strange, obviously, but what is strange is that she never said anything to him to let him know that she actually was there. and that does strike me as a little odd, particularly because she could have been caught in the crossfire of his attack if that actually was the case.

so that’s it. these are the people I’m keeping an eye on. if and when one of them turns out to be evil I totally called it. although I still kind of hope there isn’t a traitor though. like, come on U.A. why you gotta be like this

#bnha #boku no hero academia #nezu #tsukauchi naomasa #present mic #yamada hizashi #hagakure tooru #makeste reads bnha #bnha meta #essay #theory post #bnha theory #u.a. traitor #traitor!hagakure #hagakure traitor theory

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marvelouspeterparker · 6 years

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since we were young

pairing: tom holland x reader

request number twenty: ok so i had an idea for a really fluff/smut fic with tom based on “beautiful” by bazzi. especially the line “started when we were younger, swear to god that i loved her”. like growing up with tom & haz and being best friends but sorta drifting apart since tom got famous but he comes back home and runs into you?? and all his feelings rush back and yea that’s pretty much it lol

requested by anonymous

word count: over 3k

a/n: i really went all out cause i made you wait so long—hope it doesn’t suck—i really went through their whole life story (there’s some angst)

You, Haz and Tom had been friends basically since birth, as you all liked to say. You were inseparable—the three musketeers, in fact that even inspired the three of yours’ halloween costumes one year. Sure, you were all best friends, but for some reason you and Tom had a special bond, one that you had unfortunately acted upon far too late.

You remember the first time you felt something special between the two of you. Haz had been home sick one day so that left just you and Tom alone at the playground while your parents chatted and watched from the side. You had played around all day long, jumping around, climbing the monkey bars, going down the slide; but the excitement had gotten the best of you, causing you to slide down the slide a bit faster than you would have wanted, you had braced yourself for the impact, your eyes closing immediately as you flinched, waiting. Alas you didn’t break a bone, or bruise anything for that matter, because Tom had been at the bottom of the slide at the right moment, ready to catch you.

Being the children that you were, you both started giggling and sat down together right where you stood. Complete happiness and joy was what you felt on that day, just being with Tom—you knew he was someone you wanted to have by your side for the rest of your life and he felt the same.

When the laughter died down, Tom had grabbed your hand, mindlessly fidgeting with your fingers—he liked to do that sometimes, it calmed him down.

“Promise we’ll be friends forever?” he asked.

“Only if you promise too,” you’d replied with a cheeky smile.

So you’d linked pinkies, assuring the vow.

In middle school you both started looking at each other a little differently, of course you wouldn’t explicitly say anything out loud to each other about it—you had both assumed that the other didn’t feel the same. You were both afraid of jeopardizing your friendship. Harrison of course, was in the middle of all of this nonsense, not sure if he should interfere or just let you both find your own path to each other, in the end he chose both.

During class he may or may not have purposely chosen another person to work with occasionally, leaving you and Tom alone to work together at his place over the weekend. When your class was acting out Romeo and Juliet he may or may not have volunteered for you and Tom to play the main love interests with a hidden agenda in mind. He may or may not have ‘accidentally’ pushed you to close together at your middle school dances during the slow songs. You’ll never know for sure but you had your suspicions. At the time, you couldn’t really focus on anything besides Tom.

Once you reached high school, Tom had started blushing around you more often, his heart would start pounding when he was near you. Nothing had changed between the two of you still, but there were some moments where even you couldn’t come up with an excuse for his blushing and his stuttering—but you sure did try though.

“What’s got you so flustered, Holland?” you asked, noticing his pink-tinted cheeks.

His eyes got wide, but he didn’t move his gaze from his review sheet. “Uh—s’nothing. Just stressed that’s all.”

“Your cheeks are pink because you’re stressed?” you asked sarcastically?

He hummed in response, “Mhm.”

“Are you nervous you’re gonna fail this test?” you asked, looking for the right answer.

“Yeah that’s probably it,” he said, his eyes scanning the paper but not processing any of the words. The only thing that was on his mind was loud thumping of his heartbeat.

Your eyes narrowed, he’s not telling the truth, you thought, might as well mess with him, “I know what it is.”

He looked up at that, his mouth falling open slightly when his gaze fell on you—your head tilted to the side as you looked at him, your eyebrows furrowed, a corner of your mouth slightly upturned. Fuck, she’s beautiful, he thought. He snapped back into it though, not wanting you to catch him drooling over you, “You do?” his voice getting higher near the end of his statement, making him cringe visibly—you didn’t comment on it though.

“It’s me,” you said it like it was obvious, his eyes widened. “You just can’t handle how pretty I look right now,” you said seriously.

Tom stuttered in response, “Uh—um I…”

“I mean just look at me here, in my sweats, my hair all messy, my eyes tired as hell—it’s okay, I’d be flustered too,” you joked.

Tom’s breathing started to go back to it’s normal state as he realized you weren’t serious.

“I’m just playing Tom,” you put a hand on his and his eyes dropped down to it, “But you know you can tell me anything, right?” you said seriously.

“Yeah,” he smiled, “I know.” But I don’t know about this, he thought.

When prom season came around, Harrison had asked some girl to go with him so the idea of going as a trio was out—which made the both of you inexplicably nervous.

You both were overthinking everything, you weren’t sure if it was obvious to the other that you were going together or if you had to ask.

You remember when it came up between the two of you. You were both sitting in the library when you overheard some guys talking about how they had to go buy their suits and corsages. You and Tom had turned to each other, sheepish smiles on your faces. You both wanted to bring up the elephant in the room but you were both scared.

There was a comfortable yet awkward silence between you two— one that you both so desperately wanted to break.

“So—,” you started.

“I—“ he started, his voice overlapping with yours.

You both laughed, getting rid of the nerves in your system.

“You can go first,” you said.

You remember he took a deep breath before looking into your eyes, ready as can be, “I was uh—wondering if you wanted to go to prom with me? I mean I kind of guessed that we were already going together with Harrison but then he got a date and I thought it was kind of obvious that we would go together but then again I wasn’t sure—“

You smiled at him, shaking your head slightly, knowing that he would ramble on forever if you didn’t stop him, “I’ll go with you, Tom,” you cut him off, “That’s actually what I wanted to ask you about.”

You saw the relief wash over his features, the stress rolling off of his shoulders. “Oh,” a grin broke out on his face, “Well that’s great,” he grabbed your hand, “I—I’m glad.”

You were relieved that you were going with Tom—but you still weren’t sure if Tom was taking you as his date or as his best friend, even Tom wasn’t quite sure of that if he was being honest.

You and him both remember your prom night—the excitement, the anxiety. However all that stress washed away as soon as you first saw each other, he walked into your house and there you were right in front of him, all dressed up. He couldn’t help himself, his mouth dropped, his eyes wide like saucers.

“I know right,” you joked, trying to ignore the butterflies he gave you from just one look.

He laughed and intertwined your hands, “You just—you look—incredible.”

“Thanks Tommy,” you felt your face get hot.

Of course your parents took pictures, Tom happily obliged and put one arm around your waist, holding you close to him as you both posed for the camera. Something felt different, not just the dress and his suit, something shifted. You didn’t feel like just friends anymore—this—he was your date, this was a date.

The night was unforgettable of course, you danced for the majority of it, drank lots (of punch, of course), laughed a lot, it was an enjoyable night. But the most memorable moment of the night was the last song. Of course, it was a slow song. You and Tom had awkwardly stood there for a moment, getting slightly close to each other, inch by inch.

“May I have this dance?” he asked, his hand outstretched, waiting for yours. It was so much more than a dance though, he could have easily just taken your hand like he’s done a million times before, like the both of you do constantly. But this time he asked, he waited. Because this was different, this was his subtle way of asking if this—you and him, could be something more.

You looked to his hand and then to him, you saw the nervousness in his eyes. “Of course,” you said putting your hand in his to hold.

You stepped close to each other, no more than an inch between the two of you. With your hands intertwined, his hand on your waist, you leaned your head on his chest, as you both started swaying to the soft and slow melody.

Halfway through the song, Tom squeezed your waist gently, urging you to look up at him, “Y/N.”

You looked up at him, the bright decorative lights of the room illuminating his face, making you take notice of that same blush on his cheeks that you’d seen so much of. You saw his adam’s apple pop up as he swallowed thickly.

“What would you do if I—,” he was looking around, trying to figure out how exactly to put his thoughts into words.

He looked at you and you tilted your head, looking up at him with a curious gaze and he swears he almost lost himself in that damn gaze. “Can I kiss you?” he asked, looking from your eyes to your lips making you subconsciously lick them.

“I wouldn’t mind it,” you smiled, trying to mask your nervousness.

His grip tightened on your waist, but not too tight, his other hand let yours go and found your cheek, your hands helplessly finding his arms, almost as if to hold you steady. Your lips parted, your eyes slightly wide, was this really happening? His hand traced soft circles on your cheek before he leaned in, connecting your lips. He was tentative and gentle, not wanting to mess anything up. The kiss was soft and short but it got the message through, all those pent up feelings you had for each other were on full display now, there was no more hiding.

After prom, you started hanging out alone, otherwise known as dating, but you wanted it to be casual, you didn’t have a label, you were just to best friends hanging out—two best friends with feelings for each other. You would occasionally kiss every now and then but there was no pressure on your relationship—it was comfortable, it was safe.

And yet just like that, a year later Tom was off on a new path that led right into the spotlight, leaving you behind to find your own.

You remember the last time you saw him. He told you that he was leaving, he asked you to leave with him but you couldn’t just leave your life behind, you had to figure yourself out.

He sat you down on his couch, the house was empty it was just the two of you. He took your hand and just fidgeted with your fingers for a bit—tracing random patterns on the back of your hand, not wanting this to end.

You looked up at him, noticing the pink tint on his cheeks, but it wasn’t the same—no it was a distressed blush, you looked to his eyes and saw how glassy they were, an uneasy feeling settling in your stomach. You put your hand on top of his, making him close his eyes and take a deep breath. “What’s wrong Tom?”

He swallowed thickly before looking up at you, a tear sliding down his cheek, not quite reaching his chin as you swiped it just in time. He subconsciously leaned further into your touch, dreading when he wouldn’t feel it’s warmth again anytime he wanted.

You were about to pull your hand away when he grabbed a hold of it, pressing it against his cheek. He let out a sad smile, “I—uh, I did it,” he laughed humorlessly, your eyebrows furrowed.

“Did what?” you asked, not understanding.

He sighed sadly, “I’m gonna be Spiderman, I auditioned and I got the part.”

You were about to jump up and celebrate but thought twice about it—why is he sad if he got his dream job?

You smiled, “Babe that’s amazing,” you squeezed his cheek a bit, a small attempt at cheering him up—or at least getting a smile.

“I’m gonna be moving around a lot, I’m gonna be really busy, you know?”

You nodded in response, dreading where this was going. He dropped his head, covering his face with his hands, making your drop yours.

“I’m not gonna see you a lot, the one huge downside to this whole thing.”

“You have to go Tom, you know that. This is your dream,” you said trying to see the bright side of things.

He looked up, “You were my dream.” You felt your heart squeeze a bit at his words. “You were my dream that I waited and hoped for for all of my life—and I finally got that dream, I got you,” his voice cracked near the end, making your heart hurt.

“But this dream is bigger, Tom,” you said holding his face in your hands, looking directly at him. He looked at you like you were saying nonsense. You hardly even noticed the tears pooling in your eyes until Tom wiped away the first drop. “You have to go Tom. It’s okay.”

“What does this mean for us?” he asked, his voice small, breaking.

“I don’t know Tommy—I don’t know,” you smiled sadly, running your hand through his hair, making him close his eyes out of habit.

You spent that night holding each other like it was your last. It was filled with impossible promises to talk to each other everyday no matter where the other was, tears, and broken whispers that lasted all night.

Those were all the flashbacks—all the memories that flooded through your mind as you set your eyes on the brunet, standing there, right in front of you on the sidewalk. His hair looked nicer—more professional, his arms bigger, stronger. Of course you had seen his pictures, his face on billboards, his face on tv, in the movies, but in person, the change— it was surreal.

“How are you—what are you doing here?” you asked, not really believing it.

“I was looking for you,” he scratched the back of his head nervously, a sheepish smile on his face, “I know this is your favorite spot,” he said pointing to the nice little café you had just walked out of. You and Tom used to come there all the time after class, sometimes for the food, sometimes for the scenery when you just needed a calm space to talk.

You took a step forward and he did the same, both of you taking strides towards each other until you reached one another, your arms finding their way around him, his finding your waist. You held each other so tight, feeling every part of each other, almost as if even the light breeze would blow you away from each other. Tom had felt safe and comfortable as soon as his plane landed but as soon as he stepped into your arms, he felt at home.

“I missed you Tommy,” you whispered, your face smushed into his sweatshirt.

“Gosh, darling you have no idea how much I’ve missed you,” he responded, squeezing you even tighter, if that was possible.

He let go of you but kept his hands on your waist, almost to check if you were really there.

“Let’s go to my place, yeah?” you asked.

He nodded in response, biting his lip. He looked down and grabbed your hand, just like the old times—a sign that he was there for you, once again.

Looking at him sat right beside you on your couch, it’s like he never left, he’s right there where he belongs.

“How’s this last year been? I haven’t seen you in forever,” you said, reminiscing in your mind about when you would see him every day with no exceptions.

“It’s been—amazing,” he said, you could see the pure joy on his face and you were happy for him, truly. “I’ve been places I never even thought I would go to, I’ve met incredible people. I’m Spiderman! you know? It’s insane.”

You smiled, nodding slightly. He moved closer to you, putting a hand on your arm, “I’m sorry we couldn’t stay in touch as much as we wanted to.”

You put a hand on his knee, “I know Tom, it’s okay. We took two very different paths, we couldn’t have, even if we tried our hardest.”

“I went crazy without you, don’t know how I survived.”

He looked down at your hand that was gently tracing patterns on his leg, then up to your eyes and licked his lips, his hand slid up your arm to your neck, caressing the skin gently. Your gaze went from his lips to his eyes. It was the same old game, both of you knowing how you felt but not acting upon it. Both too scared to start something.

He took a deep breath, “fuck it,” he muttered before crashing his lips down on yours, both his hands resting on either side of your face, your mouths moving perfectly in sync like you’d practiced your whole lives. Your hands rested on his thighs as you leaned forward. His hands moved down to your waist and pulled you onto his lap. You disconnected your lips, the both of you breathing hard.

“You know, I never had the balls to say this before,” he said looking deep into your eyes, “but I love you—I’m pretty sure I’ve loved you since that day on the playground and I never stopped.”

You brought your hands up to his cheeks, your thumbs rubbing them softly as you looked at this brown-eyed boy, one that had just opened up his soul to you, waiting for you to do the same, if you were ready. You smiled, your eyes getting glassy, “I love you too Tommy, I always have, I was just too stupid to realize it sooner.”

You leaned forward and reconnected your lips, his hands grabbing at your waist, slowly grazing your ass, not sure if he should grab it. You answered for him and grinded down on him— his hands automatically went to your ass, gently guiding your movements. He flipped the both of you over, him hovering over you, his hands holding him up by your head. “God I fucking love you, darling.”

You moaned as he kissed and bit at your neck. “And I want the whole neighborhood to know,” he said as his hand slipped down between your legs, making you writhe and whimper beneath him.

You didn’t know what this meant for the both of you, neither of you did. But you were more than willing to find out.

tags: @bi-writes @suitedspidey @stephie-senpai @petersbackpack @sunlightom @peterplanet @sighspidey @thotgomery @lilyholland @madmadmilk

taglist: @peterspanish @rmillerartemis @hollandmcu @buckylicious @lionheo04 @idontlooklikereginageorge @tiny-friggin-human @tmrhollandkay @amagicalpieceofshit @kaleidoscopez96 @httpmcrvel @super-fire-breathing-girl @peachllobotomy @klausbaudelaireee

#tom holland #tom holland request #tom holland imagine #tom holland x reader #tom holland fluff #tom holland smut #tom holland angst #tom holland fanfiction

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its-love-u-asshole · 5 years

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keep me steady [fic]

Pairing: Tsukishima Kei/Kuroo Tetsurou

Summary: Being tipsy at a party is not usually Kuroo’s ideal way to pass the night, but having Tsukishima in his arms, more than a little tipsy himself, makes all of that irrelevant.

Rating: T

Tags: fluff, established relationship, tipsiness, this is so cheesy so if you’re not into that stay away lol

Note: HAPPY BIRTHDAY KUROO TETSUROU! He is the best boy and deserves to be kissed a lot by his boyfriend, so I tried to deliver lol, enjoy! <3 Thanks @emeraldwaves for reading this over!

Read on AO3!

It was with great reluctance that Kuroo pulled the plastic cup from Tsukishima's hands, cutting him off for the night.

The blond didn't exactly protest. Kuroo watched, adoring every moment, as Tsukishima's nose scrunched up, his eyes tracking the cup in Kuroo's hand until it was unceremoniously dropped into the trash.

Kuroo did his best to keep his face neutral, but at this stage it was next to impossible.

Granted, the alcohol coursing through his own veins didn't help, and the warmth and heaviness grew when Tsukishima looked back at him. The bright, wide-eyed innocence returned to his gaze, something Kuroo was only blessed with seeing when the blond got to a certain level of tipsy. Accompanied by that slight tilt of the blond's head...he was a goner.

Thank goodness for his formula. Three and a half drinks.

Three and a half, with a margin of error of about one shot.

That was the perfect amount, Kuroo had tested, to get Tsukishima to optimum clinginess. He never forced Tsukishima to drink, and it was particularly rare for the blond to drink at all unless they were alone at home, but every now and again the blond indulged.

Kuroo cut him off at three and a half every time, sparing Tsukishima the hangover and restlessness.

And ah, he was never wrong.

"Mm, tired," Tsukishima mumbled, a giggle disrupting the flow of words. Tipsy Tsukishima was a happy Tsukishima, with no morning pain to go with it.

Kuroo beamed, and he was right there, ready to catch his boyfriend as soon as he decided to trust fall into Kuroo's arms.

Also predictable at this point, and Kuroo couldn't get enough. There was a reason he'd chosen to lean against a wall.

He practically purred when Tsukishima crashed into him, and with nothing to occupy his hands, Tsukishima cozied up to his heart's content, uncaring of onlookers. His cheek rubbed against Kuroo's chest, his body bent at an awkward angle to do so.

After all, Tsukishima still won in the height department, but Kuroo never failed to be warmer, enveloping him completely. They only let themselves act small around each other, no qualms about it after all these years.

Already knowing what to do, Kuroo sank to the floor, bringing them both down. Tsukishima hummed in approval, treating Kuroo like his favorite armchair, trying to get comfortable. As cat-like as people liked to say Kuroo was, Tsukishima had obviously inherited some of those traits.

Kuroo snorted as Tsukishima stretched and snuggled into him, but whatever, he benefited in his own ways. As if he'd ever pass up on an opportunity to be disgustingly close to his boyfriend, especially when the blond was practically oozing affection.

Kuroo never minded the blond's reserved nature, but well, he had to admit it was nice to show off. When Tsukishima was like this, he'd let Kuroo steal kisses constantly, would laugh and blush at all his dumb jokes, and all his whispers could be heard by anyone in the room.

Even the not so appropriate ones.

Even now, as people walked and stumbled by, their eyes drifted to Kuroo and Tsukishima, some stained with the slightest bit of jealousy.

Kuroo ate it up, and maybe that was Tsukishima's influence on him.

Heaven.

Kuroo was in heaven, so maybe the party had sorta been a good idea after all. At least, once they'd managed to sneak away from the more obnoxious hosts.

Kuroo sighed, his breathing broken up by the occasional hiccup as his arms wrapped around his boyfriend, swaying him to the unfitting music drifting through the cheap speakers littered throughout the house. Tsukishima had complained about the music when they'd first arrived, already covering his ears from the mix of the tunes with the loud voices.

Kuroo had pulled him into a quieter corner as soon as possible, but Tsukishima had grabbed a drink anyways.

"Ice cream," was all Tsukishima said when he pulled back to look Kuroo in the eyes, his glasses askew. Not that he needed to see, he trusted Kuroo enough to be his eyes. Kuroo righted them anyways.

Kuroo squinted, brain slow to process the words, and wondered if it had been a good idea for himself to drink.

Tsukishima pressed a random, unprompted kiss to his cheek, and he didn't care anymore about the answer.

Kuroo hiccuped, and his smile must've been so stupid, but he didn't try to fix it. He just sighed, and nodded. "Sure, what--whatever you want." He emphasized the statement by poking a finger into Tsukishima's stomach, a ticklish spot, and he enjoyed the fit of giggles it resulted in.

Tsukishima's voice mixed with laughter, when he chose to let it slip, was way better than the music coming through the speaker on the stand next to them.

Upset that it was interrupting Tsukishima's everything, Kuroo fumbled with it from the floor, turning it off without making it fall onto his head. Success.

Kuroo laughed, but Tsukishima seemed concerned with his sweet tooth still, and he defiantly poked Kuroo in the cheek.

"With toppings."

Well, Kuroo would sure hope so. "Mhmmmm."

"Strawberries?"

"You know it."

"Awessss...awesob."

"Yeah, that."

Awesome indeed.

Kuroo must've been tipsier than he thought to not poke fun at the verbal typo, because his brain was already rolling onto something else, though still Tsukishima related.

He grinned, a mischievous glint in his eye as he pressed his mouth against Tsukishima's cheek, freezing there for way too long before blowing a raspberry against the soft skin. It was not elegant in the slightest, or controlled, but Tsukishima's laughter filled the hallway loud enough to make the people on the opposite wall flinch.

"Quit ittt, you smell like beer," Tsukishima said, but the smile wasn't exactly a deterrent.

Kuroo shrugged. "So do you."

"Well....yeah."

Kuroo shook his head, pulling Tsukishima impossibly closer as they both laughed at nothing, and in the back of his head, he wondered if Tsukishima had been somewhat crafty about this night too.

Surely, Kuroo had his own optimal level of tipsiness, one which made him putty in Tsukishima's hands. More than normal.

Tsukishima claimed to never remember much of what they did or said whenever this happened, but Kuroo had his doubts. One day, Kuroo would get the blond to admit he secretly liked letting loose and operating on two brain cells at times, but today was not that day.

No, today Kuroo was after simpler things.

And anyways, if his theory was correct, and Tsukishima remembered everything in the same amazing detail he usually did, then Kuroo best give him a good time to remember.

He stole the amused sounds right from Tsukishima's lips, the first kiss quick, shy in comparison to the full on makeouts they were capable of in their heated moments.

But this wasn't one of those moments.

Tsukishima blinked, taken aback, his brow furrowing like he was trying to solve some complex math problem. Kuroo waited expectantly, because Tsukishima always figured out the answer.

Tsukishima's returning peck was louder, almost on purpose, as if he was showing off, though no competition had been set.

They rarely needed one to be.

Before Kuroo knew it, he was leaning in again, stealing kiss after kiss but never staying put for long, never deepening them.

It was addicting, just knowing he could take as many as he wanted.

Tsukishima playfully pulled away, Kuroo chased him. One, two, three pecks to the lips, over and over until they lost count.

When Tsukishima tried to get up to get more to drink, Kuroo cupped his face, pulling him down for another, not wanting anything to end.

The hallway and crowds around them became nonexistent, though occasionally Kuroo could hear a whistle or a cheer (he was fairly sure it was Bokuto's doing, since he was the only one who was still supportive of them when they got like this).

Ridiculous.

That's what Tsukishima would've said, had he been in his right mind.

Again, Kuroo's mind came back to his theory. Tsukishima was not that drunk.

Neither was he, but with each kiss he felt less and less in tune with the world. The room spun, sounds echoed and were drawn out for far longer than normal. He swayed, his laugh was stupid and boomed, mixed with Tsukishima's. Essentially, he felt as drunk as he would've his freshman year, with no beer in sight, and then it all made sense.

He realized Tsukishima was just as strong of a drug as alcohol, but Kuroo would never have a cut off for him. Maybe it was the same for Tsukishima.

When the blond pulled back, his eyes a little misty, but glowing nonetheless, concerned only with Kuroo, he knew it was a definite.

Time must've also been something to slip Kuroo's mind though, because before he knew it, they were being broken up by Oikawa's incessant nagging.

"Can you guys get a room for once, please?" Oikawa asked, leaning against the far wall in what Kuroo knew was a practiced pose. Guess he was trying to get attention from someone special tonight, and maybe he didn't appreciate their romantic bubble messing up his atmosphere.

Yeah, yeah.

Kuroo was pretty done anyways. All he wanted to do now was make good on his ice cream promise, and take his boyfriend home.

Huffing, Tsukishima was the first to stand, wobbly legs not detracting from his overall annoyance. "We're...not even doing anything like that."

Tsukishima paused to burp, stumbling a little, and Kuroo was up instantly to help him balance.

Oikawa's face was about as unamused as it could get. "Trust me, when you two are involved, everything feels like too much for innocent eyes. There are children here you know."

Kuroo could only assume he meant freshman, but he rolled his eyes anyways. "I think you mean you, and you're just jealous."

Oikawa just huffed in denial, but his eyes scanned the party, on the hunt as usual. It was a little different this time though, Kuroo couldn't help but notice, even with the alcohol still running through him.

He smirked, sensing the bit of nerves underneath Oikawa's skin, the ones which were normally cancelled out by his confidence. He'd have to ask Oikawa later about them, though he already knew what they meant, and who they were for.

Iwaizumi better show up fast, or else the brunet would lose it.

With those thoughts sitting in his brain, Kuroo waved goodbye.

He definitely didn't miss those days of tiptoeing, of worrying about how he looked and whether someone would be interested in him. The courting phase, the nerves, terrible first dates...

They were all essential, and oh so worth it.

Fondly, he grabbed Tsukishima's hand, and the blond let him lead, trusting Kuroo to not let him bump into wasted partygoers and sticky surfaces until they made it to the door.

The night was still fairly young, especially for them, and Kuroo knew a great ice cream parlor.

Tsukishima sighed as the cool air from outside hit his skin, such a contrast from the humid, crowded space of the party.

His hair was disheveled from where Kuroo had wrapped his hand in it, his skin flushed from the heat, and his lips red from the endless string of kisses they'd exchanged. It...it was a good look on him.

Tsukishima laughed again as he nearly tripped over one of the stone steps leading up to the house, and Kuroo caught him, twirling him as best he could with his own limited muscle control.

If anyone saw them almost fall into the grass, no one said anything.

Kuroo's giggles diminished as he pulled Tsukishima upright, towards the sidewalk, and he let himself stare at Tsukishima's carefree smile, thankful for what he had.

No more doubts, no more worries, just a home.

A home with three and a half drinks, give or take one shot.

#kurotsuki #kurotsukki #haikyuu!!#adri writing #kuroo tetsurou

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jerepars · 3 years

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Ape Dos Mil Extended Chapter Notes

2 / 9 The Gift of a Black Heart

Hyperlinks appear in blue (underlined on mobile and the dashboard). The story is posted here. Direct link to this chapter is here.

The fact that he’d done those things and done them autonomously…well how could Teresa not think he was ill-suited for his job? He didn’t have the gift of a black heart everyone believed he did. He had too much heart.

I think “The Gift of a Black Heart” by Said the Whale might be a go-to reference for me because I’m pretty sure I’ve used it in multiple stories over the years.

Needless to say, hate turned to…convolution. She’d made a connection with James. There was something between them. Teresa couldn’t deny that. When they met, there’d been a burning in her chest directed at him, from anger and rage. But as time marched forward the burning in her chest told her not to abandon him, not to leave him behind.

Slight reference to the Verse album From Anger and Rage and its title track.

To focus on the paragraph though, I wanted to include this to be able to compare it to what James thinks about the pit in his stomach telling him to look out for and protect Teresa in the first chapter. To him, once he knows Teresa is his soulmate, he thinks of those feelings as evidence that they are soulmates. I thought it was interesting for Teresa to have those same feelings without really questioning it, without knowing they are soulmates.

So who was James to her and why had she let him carve a home for himself in a tiny sliver of her heart?

There’s a line in Daphne Loves Derby’s “Hopeless Love” that goes hopeless love, why did you carve your home in me? 2003 was a time, man.

Surely Güero could understand that? With El Santo, King George, and money? Teresa would set up shop quickly and be at war with Camila in a heartbeat. Whatever charisma or swaying power Teresa thought she had…she knew firsthand Camila didn’t play like that. Camila played dirty. If a man who was governor couldn’t be trusted, then what more the woman who had a vice grip on his balls? A war between Camila and Teresa would end with one or both of them in the ground.

Some of the lyrics in “Ape Dos Mil” by Glassjaw, the song the story is named after, go: You can’t trust a man who’s a governor. Ape can’t trust man. You can’t trust a man with a gun at all. Ape can’t trust man. You can’t trust me.

Songs are always open to interpretation and somehow this is what I chose for a story about soulmates? Lol. No but really, the overall lyrical content and mood of this song did inspire the story. A lot of what I clung onto likely won’t make it into the story because the words don’t quite fit in the narrative, but some might, in later chapters. For this one, it’s the description of Epifanio and Camila that works.

He cared about her. If she wanted to believe he betrayed her for not choosing to roll with her, for switching out the coke and not giving her the money, it was just too bad. She didn’t have to understand. His reasoning was something she’d have to learn on her own in due time. She was resourceful and James knew she’d figure out a way to stay in the business if cartel leadership was really what she was hungry for. But James couldn’t encourage her down that path.

There’s an idea presented in Saves the Day’s “Collision”: If the world doesn’t understand, then the world has to learn. And maybe it’s true, but they don’t have to.

I found the latter half of this chapter challenging, particularly because I am of the opinion that 2x10 to 2x13 kind of go...off the rails. Season 2 is still my favorite season of QOTS, but the last three episodes make such a mess of the character development from earlier in the season. So figuring out how to justify that weird train car standoff was...difficult, to say the least.

The whole tracker thing aside (another weird thing that makes no sense that will never see a resolution), I don’t think it was wrong for James to turn Teresa down when she wanted him to turn on Camila at this point. To take it further, from the perspective of James knowing Teresa is his soulmate, he was trying to protect her by making it harder for to get into the business (canonically, he says this to Guero in 2x13).

Having a soulmate was a lot like being in love—though they were different entities—wanting no less than the best for the other person. James didn’t think it was in anyone’s best interests to go down the rabbit hole of illicit drug trafficking. Not even if they could be good at it—especially if they could be good at it. That posed an even bigger problem, because the business was soul sucking. When they first met, James told Teresa to turn off the light inside of her. But even in free fall Teresa held onto it, and James was awestruck by how bright she burned.

Last part of the paragraph is a call to “Turn It Off” by Paramore: And in the free fall I will realize I’m better off when I hit the bottom.

#je repars notes

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pamy92 · 6 years

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Kuroshitsuji Seiyuu Event (Aurora Society Phoenix Banquet) - Fan report

I attended the live-viewing of the Night Event of the Kuroshitsuji Aurora Society Banquet (Seiyuu event) in my Prefecture. Full event report under the cut!

The guests for the night were Ishikawa Kaito (Ryan Stoker, and emcee for the event), Ono Daisuke (Sebastian Michaelis), Fukuyama Jun (Grell), KENN (Ronald Knox) and Takuma Terashima (Snake).

The event started with each of them making an entrance to the stage. There is an entrance with a white curtain in the middle of the stage. Each seiyuu took turns to appear. We were shown their shadow/silhouette, before the seiyuu was revealed and then they introduced themselves.

OnoD did a fabulous Phoenix pose, JunJun did the famous Greek statue pose (Discobolus of Myron), KENN did some weird pose that the silhouette did not show up properly on the screen (OnoD & JunJun were complaining), and Terashima made an animal shadow of a wriggling snake.

We started the event with a toast to the ‘banquet’. Ishikawa-san invited the audience to stand with their drinks and joked that they have to do the Phoenix pose with their drink in hand. But due to safety and space constraints, the seiyuus told the audience to just do a normal toast while the seiyuus did the Phoenix pose with their toast.

Each of the seiyuus say a bit of the Phoenix pledge

Ishikawa: 完全なる

Terashima: 胸の炎は

KENN: 何者にも

JunJun: 消せやしない。

OnoD: 我ら…

Everyone: PHOENIX!!!

JunJun then told everyone to do their best fake laughter like how rich people do at banquets and we see the seiyuus doing funny forced laughter. It was super funny!

‘Thrones’ or specially decorated high-chairs were brought out on stage.

(Picture credit: Kuroshitsuji official Twitter)

Everyone in the audience was laughing so hard at OnoD’s chair because... IT LOOKED LIKE THE GAME OF THRONES SWORD THRONE!!!! His chair had (cardboard thank god!) silverware knives jammed to the back of the chair.

OnoD was giggling and joked that by the end of the afternoon event, he looked like this ... he then sat on the chair and pretended to look dead while rolling his eyes back. It was sooooo funny!

The two shinigami seiyuus had a chair shaped like their death scythes and Terashima had a chair with two snakes wrapped around it (one boa constrictor and the other a green grass snake).

We then started the first segment of the night, Keyword Notebook.

The first segment was a talk based on keywords on a notebook. There were 6 phrases in the “notebook”, the ones which I can remember are とぼっちゃん、スタンプ and スネーク . Sorry, I have a bad memory.

So each seiyuu choose a keyword and the seiyuu whose keyword was selected had to talk about it. OnoD’s keyword was selected (I cannot remember what it was) and he was talking about Toboso-sensei.

He then showed off the seal Toboso-sensei drew on the back of his hand. He said it only took her 10-minutes to do so!

(Picture credit: Yana Toboso’s Twitter)

Someone chose the ‘snake’ keyword and Terashima got to talk about his role as Snake and of course, his snakes! Terashima shared about how the snakes are Snake’s family and each of them had endearing characteristics to make them so ‘human’.

OnoD: What about a mecha snake? Terashima: Mecha? OnoD: （uses his hand to imitate a snake) You know robot? Mecha snake... Terashima: I don’t think robot technology exists in that time period. KENN: Eh! The Shinigami death scythes are machines! (pats his lawn mower seat).Maybe we can use the same technology. Terashima: Oh, that might work then! Mecca snake... Toboso-sensei, onegaishimasu! The rest: Onegaishimasu!!!

JunJun’s keyword was selected and he was joking about something him saying some slang that he shortened “yabei” to ‘behhh’. The rest joked if the “behhh” meant Junichi Suwabe. Just in time as the first segment wrapped up, Ishikawa-san then told us that he received a letter from Junichi and he read it out.

Junichi sent his apologies for missing out on the event as he had another clashing event to participate in, and hope that we will still enjoy the event nevertheless.

After Ishikawa-san finished reading the letter, JunJun was such a tease! He started kissing the sky and patting his heart. The rest laughed and told JunJun that Junichi isn’t up there (dead/in heaven).

We then moved to the second segment - nama afureko (live reading).

Their lovely chairs were moved to the side of the stage and Ishikawa-san told them to sit there until their names were called.

Each time OnoD got up to read, JunJun kept picking up the cardboard knife to slash OnoD’s back - a total of 3 times! It was super funny because OnoD didn’t know what was going on and was wondering why the audience kept laughing each time he got up.

OnoD: What’s happening?

The rest: It’s best if you don’t know (secretly laughing). There were a total of 8 scenes that the seiyuus performed live from the movie.

The first one was with OnoD and Terashima-the scene where Lizzy & Ciel were trapped on top of the storage boxes with Snake and Sebby arrived late to help.

The next scene was KENN & JunJun doing the Titanic scene. The actors joked that it was Taihen-ic (wordplay mix of Titanic and taihen)! Super funny! Because the scene had a reverb sound effect for Grell...

Ishikawa: Fukuyama-san, how was the nama reverb? (live reverb)

JunJun: It was crappy!!!!

Poor Terashima-san had to sit out for the rest of the nama afureko while the rest had scenes to perform. He then became the emcee while Ishikawa was on-standby to read his serifu.

Ishikawa: Sorry, you have to sit there again. Just...endure a bit more!

Terashima: *pretends to cry*

Ishikawa: We don’t need you in this scene, there arent’t enough standing mics...

Terashima: It’s not about the mics!!!!

OnoD also did a solo reading of the scene where Sebby first met Ciel and was named Sebastian. The rest of the seiyuus teased him and begged for money in exchange for praise (OnoD kept bribing Terashima throughout the event if each time he was praised earlier on).

After the nama afureko segment, the seiyuus went backstage to rest while the audience watched 3 of the seiyuu’s favourite scenes on the screen. Ishikawa chose the Phoenix scene of Ciel and Sebby, Terashima chose the scene where Undertaker slashed Sebby during the fight on the ship. And we ended with OnoD’s favourite scene which was when Ciel praised Sebby for doing well fighting the zombies in the middle of the ocean with a big injury.

The cast then returned to the stage to talk about why they chose those particular scenes. Terashima was gushing about the visual effects of the shinigami fight scene and OnoD asked if he should be sitting in the audience instead haha.

OnoD also shared that he found his selected scene touching and felt that the audience watching it was equally touched as well. While speaking, Terashima caught a floating ‘touched heart’ in the air and patted it on OnoD’s chest. JunJun then ripped the ‘heart’ out of OnoD’s chest and flung it far away.

OnoD: O-oi! Ore no kandou kaesuuu~ (Oi, give me back my touched heart!!!)

Then, we moved on to segment three - STAGE GAMES WHOOOO!!!

OnoD and Terashima were in the Servants Team and JunJun and KENN were in the Shinigami team. The game has ranks (Royalty, nobles, normal people /peasants, beggars, corpses). If the team loses the round, they get downgraded - I will explain more later. Both teams started at the normal people/peasants rank with normal folding chairs.

Game 1: Guess the object

Servants team choose two objects to tease the blindfolded Shinigami team with. We had JunJun put on the moe eyemask and KENN a macho eyemask. They then held hands. It was HILARIOUS!!!!

Out of several objects on the table ( we had a duster, a queen’s crown, a crucifix, two monster silicone masks, a tub of green slime, a blow up plastic chainsaw ), OnoD picked the green slime and Terashima picked the queen’s crown.

They then teased the two blindfolded seiyuus with the objects and they kept screaming: “FUZZY AND SHARP!!” “AHHH, SLIMEY!!!”

The Shinigami pair guessed the crown wrongly and they got downgraded to ‘beggars’ rank. As the stagehands moved the chairs and gave them a tatami mat, wooden boxes for stools and cracked wooden bowls with no water - the four kept playing with the green slime and moaning. At one moment, all four of them stuck their fingers into the tub together and moaned, and got scolded by Ishikawa-san for not paying attention. Oh god, I never laughed so hard in my life.

The servants team’s chairs were upgraded to bouncy plush chairs and they kept bouncing on their seats. They were served water in glasses too while the Shingami pair had no water at all lol.

Game 2: Guess Snake’s Voice

In this game, OnoD has to play alone and guess which of the digitally-altered/auto-tuned voices belongs to Terashima. KENN, JunJun and Terashima went behind the curtained entrance in the middle of the stage and we see their shadow/silhouettes. The trio then started making animal shadows with their hands, it was so funny!!!! OnoD then described the animals he saw - dogs, rabbits, snakes. At one point, someone made a crab or spider which the rabbit ate up lmaooooo

OnoD told all three to say Snake’s iconic line “...said Oscar.” Instead of them saying that line, the first speaker said

“FUZAKENNA!” (Don’t screw with me) The voice was high-pitched so it was hilarious, but we all instantly knew whose voice it belonged to.

The second person said “Daisuki da yo..” (I love you.) The digital-manipulation made the voice super deep and bassy, it was SO SO FUNNY! OnoD then said that voice sounded like Agni.

The third person said something which I didn’t catch because we got a super high-pitched effect.

OnoD was then given a second chance because he still couldn’t figure it out. So the three of them started speaking again, this time round, OnoD wanted to hear about how they felt about the Kuroshitsuji series. OH MY GOD, the three of them started rambling non-stop, and with the digital manipulation on their voices, it was so damn funny even OnoD was laughing and telling them to stop talking so much. The deep bassy voice of the 2nd speaker was so hilarious even Ishikawa-san said he can’t understand him because the bass was too deep.

OnoD then had to guess whose voice is Snake out of the three and he guessed correctly! The curtain went up and Terashima went over to shook OnoD’s hand.

Terashima: I am so happy you could recognise me.

OnoD: Of course. I am one hell of a butler.

Terashima: You are so good to me....

OnoD: You get money later. (winks winks)

Because the Servants team won this round, their seats got upgraded. The backstage staff brought out a long velvet love-seat and wine glasses of water. JunJun then saunted over to sit on their chair and the backstage staff member pushed him away like a bouncer hahahhahaha. OnoD and Terashima then reclined on the seat and posed like idols lmaoooo.

While on the other hand, JunJun and KENN were given dangly eye glasses (the one with dangly eyeballs) and graveyard cardboard pictures were brought out. They have lost twice so they are in the corpse/zombie rank now. The two of them started bobbing their heads to make their dangling eyeballs bounce, it was so funny!

Game 3: Romantic Phoenix Pose

In this game, we were shown the clip of Druitt doing the Phoenix pose with Ciel x Sebby and Grell x Ronald. So there are 3 poses that they have to come up with. The loudest applause from the audience wins.

OnoD and Terashima did some cute Betty Boop pose with their butts pushed outwards like how she does, it was so cute!! JunJun and KENN were wriggling around on the ground like zombies while the two demonstrated their cute pose, it was so funny.

Then, it was the shinigami team’s turn. JunJun and KENN stumbled and shuffled around like zombies all over the stage.

Ishikawa: OI! DON’T MOVE AROUND SO FREELY! MY THROAT HURTS ALREADY!

Of course with their dangly eye glasses, the two approached each other from opposite ends of the stage, touched hands together romantically before ending with the titanic “I’m flying” pose. IT WAS SO FUNNY WITH THE DANGLY EYES!!

The Shinigami team won based on audience applause, so they got upgraded from their beggar rank to Noble rank and they kept bouncing on their chairs, whereas the backstage staff threw the mat haphazardly on the ground and tossed their wooden box seats and cracked bowls on the mat to the servants team.

OnoD: W-what’s this? You guys laid it out so nicely for them earlier!!!

(Both of them then sat on the wooden boxes looking pitiful. After a while, OnoD stretched out his legs lazily haha).

Game 4: Make Ishikawa break his Phoenix pose

Both teams have to guess how many seconds for Ishikawa-san to break his phoenix pose. Servants team: 5 seconds. Shinigami team: 15 seconds. Both teams were given props to tease Ishikawa-san with. This game wasn’t very funny. The shinigami team won as the time taken for Ishikawa-san to topple over was exactly 15-seconds!

The shinigami team won the game overall and they get a cruise and dinner in Tokyo bay (I am not sure if true or not).

Finale: Thank You Speeches

We had the seiyuus do their thank you speeches one at a time. OnoD got really emotional during his thank you speech, and said that Sebastian is the one character that represents him and his career as a seiyuu. He is thankful to be the voice of Sebastian and hopes he can continue doing his best.

Once again, the cast got everyone to do the phoenix pledge and pose together and each cast left the stage one by one with a pose and a bow.

OnoD was last to leave the stage with him saying “Yes, my lord.” and kneeling. It was so beautiful~

I had such a great time and laughed so much! Can’t wait for the musical in February 2018, I will be back with another fan report!

#kuroshitsuji #book of the atlantic #黒執事 #aurora society phoenix banquet #ono daisuke #sebastian michaelis #seiyuu event #pamyinjapan

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thelamephotographers-blog · 7 years

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Double S

Alright.

This is my first rant. It's currently midnight where I live. You ready for this stupidness? I don't think you're ready for this lameness. I mean.. dumb.

This is the original. This is the person who made me decide, "hey.. lets make a frikkin blog to vent all my frustrations with complete strangers on".

I often find things eating at me. When I upset people, I just want to fix it. My fault, or not.. I just want to make things right.

I am a young photographer. I looked up to Double S for the longest time! She inspired me as an artist. While I was in high school, I heard of her for the first time.. and ugh! She was wonderful. She was everything I aspired to be in the fine art portraiture industry, and more..

Now. Lets skip five years forward.

I messaged double S.. ugh. I just wanted to be a local photographers friend! I wanted to collab so hard. I wanted tips.. I wanted knowledge.. I just wanted a new friend who had the same passion and style as me. I was new to the area as far as photography went.

In my head... it worked out great.

Now.. Double S had ignored me numerous time. Hey.. thats okay. I understand! This lady is practically a photography GOD to me at this time. She's just... ugh. Serious goals man.

One day, I see Double S post a status. She posts Pinterest images in the comments of said status.. Its an outdoor boudoir. These images were inspiring! They were beautiful, and I NEEEEEEDED to be apart of this! I comment, going outside of my tiny bubble knowing I could be rejected. I say, "I would LOVE to be apart of this!"

Fast forward a bit.. and Double S and I decided to collaborate on this shoot. We chose two models! We were styling it, talking to the models.. and she took the business side over. Thats fine! I got say in it! I helped choose outfits, and models, AND props...That was fine by me. She can totally have the contact with our models. I was just excited to meet her! This woman who went viral. This one all my friends had their senior photos done by in high school. I assumed, great. We have the contracts signed with an understanding of everything! All is well. There was miscommunication since the beginning.

Long story short... the day comes. I opened up to this photographer, she opened up to me.. It seemed a little weird however, she didn't have many friends in the industry. I was amazed at all this drama she knew about! I fed into it. I am so guilty. I listened, and was surprised. I could not believe the words she was telling me about these other photographers! Now.. at this point, I got Leary. I fed into it. She ranted, I ranted.. I listened. Dumb, Dummy dummy dumb dumb! (I won't go into detail, due to privacy reasons). However, we talked back and forth like friends. Joking about situations, people.. you know. Friend things. She had mentioned how she ignored my messages, and then one day saw my page and said "wow. She's actually pretty good." (This was the first and only nice thing she said about me) She told me she left so many groups, because it upset her seeing these people and how they made her feel bad about her own work. Okay, I totally understand. I wanted to relate with her. We had a convo about a local photographer who steals clients from others (thats a whole different story... lets call her Nacho) after she told me about a few photographers who copy her ideas and steal her ideas... and this photographer (nacho) , to the T copies me, (we are talking outfits, location, and the exact spot and pose I did!) and others. Double S had talked about certain things this photographer does to copy her too! Wow.. I am so glad she understands me. I just needed to vent a little. It hurt me, being in a small town.. these things made me original.. and they weren't original after these things happened. She understood me! Wow!

Day of the photoshoot comes. It goes great. I pose a model, she fixes it. She poses a model, I fix it. It went pretty good. She made fun of me during the shoot, but eh. I don't take things seriously! I even brought my blanket for warmth, and ended up using it during the shoot. I took it as fun teasing! It was a little negative, but hey.. that could just be her personality, right!? Thats fine. I can deal!

Now, short time goes by. I believe around 3 days. Her and I talked super often, laughing about things, making fun of silly things.. It was like we were super close. I talked to her, explaining "Wow, I cannot wait to learn more. Shooting with you has already taught me more on posing the woman body!" Ugh.. I talked her up. I just continuously told her how amazing she was! I am HUGE on raising others up!

So, I ask double S.. "Will you second shoot for me?" It goes fine. My new light set wouldn't work, she had a speed light.. ugh, thank heavens! Saved my butt. I am so glad the second photographer I hired (yes, hired. Keep that in mind) had a backup source.

Couple days go by. We edit a couple boudoir images, and Double S messages me. She was freaking out! Her images were out of focus! Her darn lens. I felt so bad. She asks if she can edit one of mine or something to post along with a few other messages, and I just volunteered.. "Girl. I don't care! I can do six or three doesn't matter, I was gonna edit extras because I love them hahahaha Girl don't stress"

So, I do. I deliver them. Okay, awesome.

I edit our second model. I post them. Okay, whatever..

I get a message. This models husband didn't like the ones I posted of her! Crap. He was fine with the ones double S posted. So, our model asked if she could pay me since I couldn't use mine. I did not even know where to begin.. so I agreed. I said, Sure. Just pay half of what the session would cost if you want since I cannot use the images of you for my port like originally planned.

Well. that was the wrong answer. I let double S know about it all.. and she got livid.

Crap. I did something seriously wrong apparently. I told her, hey.. you can have the money! She offered, I just figured it was good business practice. Nope. She was angry. She wouldn't chill out. She wouldn't let it go. I tried so hard, begging her to let me know what I could do to make it right. I just let her be mad at me, continue to make petty remarks until I finally was over it. I. BEGGED. HER. I pleaded. I kissed her butt. I didn't realize I did something bad. I asked advice.. every CLOSE friend of mind (again didn't mention the situation or names), agreed I did what I should have.. Yet.. I was just worried about upsetting her. She told me, she doesn't understand why this model would pay me, not her.. blablabla..

Now.. she kept making remarks saying it was her shoot, she should be paid if anything.. she did it all. She posed. She styled. Her idea.. I was like, WHOA. Absolutely not. That.. that was NOT true, and I told her every single thing I came up with. Now. After being ripped into, I had enough.. She made me feel like crap. She ripped me a new one.. I mean. Harsh.

I messaged a local photographer. He was friends with tons of people in the area! My friend T told me about him, saying he is super nice if I want to collaborate with a chill person.

I message him. I had messaged him in the past about random things! Trying to make new friends in the area I had moved back to.

The message read as following.

"Hey! I have a question. I'm working hard on modeling the female body this new year, I was wondering if there is a resource you prefer? I was working with/learning with another photographer but long story short, it didn't workout or we could steal T and do some fun stuff LOL

He replied:

Oh no, sorry things didn't work out!

so are you talking about posing? Or modeling in general?"

Thats it. It was great! No drama, no names, no obvious conflicts.. Him and I talked on and off for a couple weeks...

and then I start seeing more statuses from double T.

So, I made a blog post.. because I fed into it. I felt like I needed to fight back, since I knew she was talking badly about me. Statuses, etc.

My post basically said I collabed with another photographer after seeing these amazing Pinterest images she found.

Whoops, bad thing to say..

That escalated. Maybe that was bad of me.. I don't know. It was petty, but I felt the need to defend myself.. which, does NOT make it okay.

She made a huge post.. I get on Facebook. Guess what face I see? The second model. She took her out behind my back, doing another boudoir shoot of her. She posted this photo, and ripped into me in the post. I mean.. wow. No names, but obviously about me. She talked badly on my style, bad about my posing, bad about everything.. ugh. It was awful. I was so sad. I blocked her after messaging her, because I was so upset! I couldn't believe she did that. She admitted to it being about me.

Then, she proceeded to tell me how I have no idea who I am messing with, nobody cares about me, and she knows I've been talking bad about her.. WHAT!!?!?!?!?!?!?!? NO WAY! I had not said a single word about her. She tells me nobody cares, and blablabla.

She acted completely innocent. Eventually, I just said one thing. "I don't understand why you have to be such a mean human." I was so done.. I couldn't believe how nasty her words were. Letting me know how irrelevant I was, and how nobody cares and nobody would ever copy me.

She calls me. We hash it out, that was the end of it... or so I thought. Turns out.. this other photographer was the one she said I talked bad about her too. She pretended she heard about it from other people, which I mean.. was obviously not true. It was rough. Turns out, those two were talking about me behind my back. She didn't go into much detail.

Well. I hadn't talked to her. She talked bad about me to this photographer, and hey.. it bothered me. Should it have? No. She bullied me, and scared me into thinking she could Ruin me.. all for what? What did I do? Exist?

We stop talking. The last thing I heard from her, was her asking if I lost a lens cap.

I see her at the store, avoiding eye contact.

I made the decision.. that hey. If she wants to talk bad about me, good on her.. but I won't give her a reason. If somebody believes her.. then they aren't worth convincing.

I get on Facebook yesterday. Turns out, she blocked me. I can only assume it was due to the encounter at the store, or because I posted a status looking for a second shooter when she used to be mine.

Truth is? It hurt me. I still cannot believe something so silly arose. I begged and begged. I didn't want her destroying my name.. I was so nice. I let her rip into me. I did. Multiple times, before finally standing up for myself..

Truth is? I am a people pleaser. I begged her. Literally, begged her. I begged her to let me know what I could do, or what I should have done. In the end.. those people will always find a reason to not like you. Count on that. I did things wrong, but you know what.. those people? Will always find a way and a reason to hate you.

I learned a lesson. You DO NOT need to please everybody. Sometimes, people will hurt you in order to heal themselves. Let them. Learn YOUR lesson, move on.

Is it dumb drama? Absolutely. Is it something that eats at me? Sure is. Is it silly? absolutely.

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opepin · 7 years

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may: week three

15: i stayed in bed until i had to get up. i was so tired. kevin made me a breakfast sandwich and then headed to work. i ate it and then did some work and then at around 12 pm i decided to fit in my work out. it felt pretty good. there was sweat and only one rash appeared on my forehead. it wasn’t itchy or anything though. then i showered, worked a bit more, and hopped on stand up. oh, i also picked up our travel adapters and i got my medium-sized bombas gripper socks. they fit better than the small ones :) yay! thank you for awesome customer service! it was a pretty productive work day at home. i managed to get through a part of the work but i need some feedback before moving on. i did the second half of my exercise, showered, cleaned the bathroom and kitchen, and made rice with steamed egg. kevin came back from climbing and cooked himself some cabbage stir fry and finished off the steamed egg with oil and soy sauce. the steamed egg just tasted like the chinese broccoli that kevin has been making... lol this cookbook.

we ate and talked about random things. then we made time to cuddle and spend some time with each other -- it was nice :) then i played some bravely default to end the night. i ended up dying and i didn’t save so i lost all of my grinding progress -___- so i stayed up and got it back to about the same spot and then i slept at like 1:15 am. oops. i was gonna work form home tomorrow but i did want to get macarons and just enjoy the weather without being holed up at home or in the office.

16: it was a nice morning. i got up and did a hiit workout. then i showered while kevin ate breakfast. i took it easy this morning and commuted to south station with kevin (: he went to work and i walked over to tous le jour to get some macarons. the macarons were like $2.50 each but i i bought a few anyway. i got the pistachio, green tea, and grapefruit flavored ones. then i got a milk bread bun and a curry croquette for kevin. i realized that i’ve been to this store before in santa monica with toby, chris, and jeanne...and i got he same exact bun LOL. the bun is still good though. i walked back to south station and bought brioche buns for burgers and our favorite focaccia bread from a local bakery stand in dewey square (right outside of south station). then i got meimei’s for lunch. i got their chorizard market bowl without cheese. i was going to drop off the treats with kevin, but it was around lunch time so i just took the train home.

the chorizard bowl is interesting; i think kevin would like it tbh. it had an apple-ly vinegar dressing and it had pickled carrots in it too. you could smell the vinegar when you took off the lid. it contained chorizo and beans with leafy greens too. i couldn’t finish all of it because it was so filling. i finished the bun and the two macarons. they were delicious. then i worked on my project and just soaked in the nice weather. what a nice sunny day. i love it. i also ordered rothy’s flats because my size was back in stock and i didn’t know when they would restock again so i asked my mom to get it for me for my birthday and she did! haha. thanks, momma. <3 i worked until a little past 5:30 pm and then did my back exercises, showered, and washed the dishes. then i cut up half of the sweet potatoes, seasoned them, and popped them into the oven. with the three leftover ones, i poked holes into them and then put them into the oven as well.

i made one successful poached egg and melted cheese on top of the sweet potato discs and topped it with scallions. i made myself a non-cheese version of this with the separate poached yolk failure LOL. it was pretty good! then i took out the whole potatoes and halved one of them, scooped out the sweet potato, and then kevin and i put eggs in the holes, topped them off with cheese, and baked those. with the last two sweet potatoes, i took out all of the “meat”, mashed it, and froze it -- hoping to make sweet potato and banana ice cream tomorrow! so, i made sweet potato like 3-4 ways today for dinner and i completely forgot that i needed to save some for lunch tomorrow so i guess i’m going to get food from food trucks tomorrow. then i cleaned up a bit, kevin read, we cuddled, and then i washed the dishes while kevin showered. then i got into bed and went to sleep at like 11:45 am.

17: i was tired when i got up and during exercise but i felt pretty good when i got on the train. it was such a nice day! it was only me, mathew, and jim in the office today and it was pretty nice. i had a busy morning but i got through it and everything went swimmingly. then i waited in line for like 20 minutes for the moyzilla food truck. i got their pork dumpling plate and chose to garlic noodles, added on a spring roll, and got their oolong mango iced tea. i didn’t see the small text until after i paid with credit card but they added on a 7% tax for use of credit cards T___T i am pretty disappointed by the food too. the noodles just tasted like lo mein -- it wasn’t as garlicky as shaking crab, the spring roll was a damn egg roll (it was fried), and the slaw had a good dressing but it was just ok overall. the tea was nice and refreshing though. eh, wouldn’t come back here. the rest of the afternoon, i worked with mathew and phil and then got on stand up and continued working on creating icons ;D yassss. i stayed until around 5:15 pm taking damn surveys -- the site kept crashing. i also wanted to wait for kevin to get off work so we could train home together.

i made the decision to walk over to his workplace anyway and then i picked him up for work. my flats started killing my heels on the way there so i wore them like flip flops during the walk to south station. it was hot and both of us were thirsty and our eyes and noses were kinda dry hahaha. we got back home and ate delicious bread. i got real upset over my medical bill because i went in for a check up and then it turned into a physical and then i got blood work done and i got charged for that. my bill was $1000 without insurance, wtf. it was around $65 after but wth? i went into this hole of why america’s healthcare sucks and how patients are supposed to know how much each blood test costs and what is in their coverage and out of their coverage. wtf is this bullshit? anyway, kevin and i made sweet potato banana ice cream and it tasted like cold pumpkin pie filling haha. he liked it! then kevin fell asleep on me while we were on the couch and this is when i looked up all this stuff on healthcare. i got real upset and stressed about finances again and kevin calmed me down very patiently and gently <3 thanks, kevin :<<<< then he cooked while i did my workout. we had a very late dinner and then i showered and stayed up waiting for my hair to dry. i talked with jeanne for a bit and then slept at around 1 am?

18: it felt a bit humid in the apartment and i was tired because i slept late LOL, but i carried on and exercised, made some rice for dinner (we would be out he entire day), showered, curled my hair, and ate breakfast. i knew i was going to be later than usual (probably get to work at 9:30 am) but at that point, there was no point in rushing x__x; i got to work and the office was still pretty empty except most of the dev guys were there. i think not having haowei, dave, and the marketing crew makes the place feel a lot emptier? idk. well, i talked with cole for a bit and then started working on icons again~ it was a pretty quiet day and i was tired from not getting enough sleep. i worked on another project when i was done with the icons and then the guys had tech time so i microwaved my food and ate. then i got a craving for something sweet and looked to see if the zinnekin’s waffle food truck was nearby... AND IT WAS! so i asked cole if he wanted to go with me after tech time and away we went! it was pretty hot outside but there was no line and i was just so excited. cole got the chocolate banana liege waffle and i got speculoos, chocolate, and strawberries on mine.

we ate them when we got back and boy, they were so delicious. it was hands down the most delicious waffle i’ve ever eaten. i went on a tangent from work and started looking up the best food truck cities and stuff like that. i would definitely get this again. i’m a fan. the rest of the day was hard because i kept dozing off (weather + waffle + lack of sleep baby). i got pulled into a meeting that was a bit confusing, but it happened and we’ll figure everything out tomorrow. then i did some outlining work and called it a day at around 4:45 pm. cole and i walked over to cvs and he got himself some sour patch kids gum??? and a drink LOL. then i walked over to fitbit because i was meeting up with kevin and matt to go to the rock climbing gym to do yoga! so apparently we were walking there and by the time i got to the office, my back was hella sweaty. i just took off my cardigan and we walked! i met mv, their other climbing buddy, and then we talked about random things like cat shows and our work day on the 30 minute walk there haha. kevin kind of regretted walking after realizing he could get a sunburn and it was super hot.

good thing the place has a/c! kevin paid $12 for me to attend the yoga class (wasn’t included in the bring someone here free for the first time promo that we thought i could use) and then we changed and cooled off and got in there. it was a different experience... it was definitely not as calming as the other times we’ve went. it was harder and more strength-based i would say. i almost hurt my wrists by doing a pose i knew i could not do but tried doing it anyway with the block...gg. the isntructor was rowdier than i’m used to but at the end of it all, it was a good yoga session with kevin <3 thanks for bringing me~ kevin did some problems after and both mv and matt had left already. we stopped by the doughnut store nearby and got a coconut doughnut and a cinnamon raisin crueller. they were pretty heavy doughnuts with subtle flavoring. we took the train home and then i went straight into doing my leg workout and then we showered and chilled for the rest of the night. i caught up on youtube videos while kevin read fanfic haha. we finished the loaf of bread and ate leftovers for a really late dinner. then i got on the phone with hillary and then me and kevin knocked out at like 1 am. zzz. what a long hot day.

19: i talked with hillary in the morning and then got up and made breakfast. then i did some internet errands and talked to phil and got a new project to work on. after that, i called cigna and asked about my medical bill and it cleared up a good amount of things. i called tufts to double-check and i figured out what i was actually billed for LOL. then i exercised a bit and worked on the new project. i felt bloated in the morning and realized i got my monthly gift today ahah. i spent the rest of the day working. then i talked with hillary on the phone for a bit and then did my 30 minute back workout for today while kevin made ketchup spaghetti for dinner. after i showered, we put on supernatural and then ate and watched. today was a crazy day @_@; i ended up falling asleep while waiting for kevin to shower and come back to watch the other new episode of supernatural. i think i just fell back asleep with him next to me while he read his fanfic. i woke up semi-grumpily and then brushed and moved to bed where i again fell asleep next to kevin while he read fanfic and/or watched a dota game (tournament is going on right now). i was exhausted.

20: i woke up at around 10 am and then bummed around in bed with kevin until he woke up. then i ate breakfast and watched some ‘jane the virgin’ and gamed a bit. i also threw in a good amount of youtube videos. kevin read fanfic and gamed for the day. we didn’t have anything planned except to relax and do nothing ahha. i ended up falling asleep on the couch two times. i woke up to pee and checked the time and i had enough time to sleep again. i thought kevin was going to wash the dishes at 5:30 pm but he didn’t so my body woke me up at 5:45 pm or something like that and i rushed to get up because i still needed to curl my hair and get ready for dinner. i held us up this time because i didn’t wake up in time T_T and then we had to take a shuttle to jfk/umass because the trains weren’t running today at our station. poop. i was grumpy from waking up from my nap and rushing into getting ready. i was liek half asleep awake and grumpy.

i called the restaurant to let them know we’d be around 20-30 minutes late but i got sent straight to voicemail every time. they did call me and i informed them and they said they’d do their best to get us seated asap but there was a line. it was no worry by then. the train ride was shorter than i expected but there were a lot of talkative groups of people and babies @_@; so i just put my earphones in and listened to music to zone them out. we got there and had to wait for a bit. kevin went into a grocery store that was selling cheap cuts of meat and seafood and i just waited outside. when we got our seats, kevin’s eyes went straight to the drink menu LOL. he got a lemon drink with bourbon in it and i got the summer melody which was raspberry wine with all these other fruity flavors. it was super light and refreshing! we ordered three appetizers: chili pork belly, scallion pancakes, and pumpkin croquettes. they were all pretty good. my favorites were the pancakes (so crispy) and the croquettes because of its sauces and just the subtle floral taste.

i got the beef bibimbap and kevin got the steak ddukboki for our entrees. i think our server forgot about entering it in because we waited about 20 minutes until asking our server where our food was and she kind of freaked out and apologized. we waited another 10-15 minutes or so to get our food and they were just aiight. my bibimbap was bland af (because it was rushed?) and kevin’s dish was too saucy and needed rice. we weren’t really hangry or anything because we ordered another round of drinks in between. he got a fruity syrupy soju drink and i got a very nice cider. we obviously tipped less and then commuted home. my stomach hurt a lot the rest of the night ;( periods and alcohol don’t mix well -- it was a great date night with kevin though. <3 i think i ko’d again and got up and brushed my teeth and then went back to sleep after grumpily dealing with kevin reading fanfic and all the damn lights on in the room. he turned off all the lights and then left me alone in the room. still, i slept at around 3 am because the lights and everything just woke me up again.

21: merp. i woke up at 9 am and then went back to sleep and woke up at like 12:30 pm. x__x; then i got up and bothered kevin for a bit. i ate leftovers from yesterday and i made sure to put some salt and pepper on it lol. then i chilled by playing bravely default and watching some youtube videos while kevin read his fanfic... it’s been annoying me recently because kevin ends up just reading the entire day and ignoring the hell out of me and being unresponsive most of the time. i just don’t want to talk to him when he’s like that, but i do it anyway because it’s the weekend and i want to talk and spend more time with him. idk, ugh. we meal planned and then i ended up waiting for kevin to finish up his chapter of fanfic before we left to grocery shop. at this point i was annoyed af. we stopped by kam man and then roche bros. we bought three different types of jams at roche bros... and some pasta chips... LOL we always get snacks and stuff from there x_x; we got a cinnamon apple jam, tangerine cranberry marmalade, and a good old solid blackberry one. the pasta chips are aiight -- would not get again.

we got back, unpacked, and then kevin went straight to reading again and ignored me again when i was talking to him. so i just went off and cleaned angrily. then he finally got up and prepped to go grilling outside. he asked me if i was mad and i didn’t respond at first because it was super obvious and then i told him i was. i changed and left to the yoga studio to exercise, which i wasn’t planning on doing but i needed a release. i did 15 minutes or so of cardio and then came back to the apartment to do 15 minutes more (kevin was still outside grilling). i was planning on going out there but kevin came back and i was still waiting for the clothes to finish washing before transferring them to the dryer. i wanted go outside and lay on the hammock but a bunch of bros were sitting out there. oh well. i ate dinner with kevin and then we made up. he said sorry and i also apologized for being kind of needy and pms-y this week. x__X; i think it might have to do with not drinking the pms tea i bought (first week not drinking it since i got it). i just didn’t want to drink it this week because i felt nauseous just thinking about it. i wanted to drink fruity teas.

the rest of the night, i folded laundry and then showered and washed my hair~ i played some bravely default before going to sleep and i was right about who to the antagonist is LOL. i actually went to sleep at like 11:30 pm... i was super tired.

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