Leman Russ DM by Relithel

If the primarchs had social media

Lion: There is nothing on his accounts. Not even a profile-picture. Someone is still logging into them every so often. Fulgrim: On all the plattforms. Primarely family-blogger: look at my perfect kids, my perfect spaceship, my perfect partner, my perfect healthy breakfest, my perfect make-up. OnlyFans-account on the side. Get‘s into controversies all the time. Perty: Angry rants. Has spent to much time on Twitter. Old man yells at cloud type of stuff. Jagh: And this is how we‘ll break the speed-limit today! Talks about bikes, how to mod them, drives them around very fast, ect. Occasional horse-pictures. Leman: Puppies! Just cute dog-pictures and -videos, of every canine he encounters in the galaxy Rogal: He isn‘t very good at social media. Sometimes posts bad selfies or pictures of his building projects. Completly ignores all of Pertys hate-comments Konrad: He writes fanfic. Edgy, dark, not very good fanfic. The protag is a clear self-insert and Mary Sue and brings justice to all the settings he puts them in. A ton of spelling errors. The plot barely holds together. He is very proud of it. Sang: He has official accounts with pretty pictures of him everywhere, but he has some private accounts that are just like his art and sometimes cute family pictures. Also why can I see Sang having a Vtuber-persona he livestreams with so people don‘t recognize him? Ferrus: Appears on Fulgrims accounts fairly often. Maybe does some gaming-content on the side Angron: Everything is very sporadic and when it‘s there it‘s pretty angry. Surprisingly talks a lot about issues with his disabilities and that he needs way more help than he get‘s and also all his trauma. Struggles a lot with typing and forming sentences, so it can be hard to understand at times. Roboute: A channel with tutorials for stuff like running a planet or putting on armour. If people ask him to explain something he can just send them a link. Morty: Not very active, sometimes pictures of some funky plants and little texts about them. Magnus: Video-essays. He dissappers for months and then returns with a four-hour-video (minimum) about the most random topic. Hugely popular. Horus: Look at my sexy abs! Look at my huge bicep! Soft-porn-pictures of him and his sons. Probally also had OnlyFans. Lorgar: Social media is great for preaching! So he does that! Deletes all his accounts after monarchia. Vulkan: Food! He loves trying out new recipes from diffrentc cultures! At the start of every recipe is a pagelong story, which people actually read Corvus: Also writes Fanfic. Very, very good fanfic if a bit edgy at times. Kind of has a rivalery with Konrad. Also runs a very active blog, about both writing and justice, with occasional bits about guerilla-warfare Alpharius Omegon: Just the worst trolls. Dozens if not hundreds of sockpuppet accounts. They are having a good time.

Primarch's Steam Profile

Some of the frame from: steam profile design

this was funny in my head /silly

On wings of shadow, we will find Deliverance.

maybe it's the furry in me but I love the comedy of Primachs having mild animal instincts bc Big E was a lil to creative with DNA in the gene lab

Leman and the Lion carrying their Astartes by the scruff of the neck and moving them around in the middle of the night because they heard a noise and got frightened

Sanguinius going broody and sitting on top of Blood Angels, sleeping in a nest lined with his own plucked down feathers

Corax stealing particularly shiny items and generally being a nuisance around the palace bc there is so much fucking gold

Vulkan temperature regulating by lying in volcanic craters

As part of a long-term psychological intimidation strategy, Corvus performs a Kate Bush impression:

"You call my name I come to you in pieces So you can make me whole..."

Since it’s still April 10th in many time zones. Here’s to a beloved holiday that really highlights the themes of this book series :)

Corvus: So what's for dinner?

Vulkan: I can't tell you, it's a soup-prise!

Corvus: ...

Corvus: Is it soup?

Vulkan: I soup-pose it could be! *winks*

Corvus: Please, enough with the soup puns.

Vulkan: Wow, you're soup-per mean.

Corvus: STOP!

*One hour later*

Corvus: It's fucking tacos?!

Maybe you celebrate Easter. Maybe you celebrate Trans Day of Visibility. Maybe you celebrate both, or neither. I am here to make those holidays infinitely worse or better, depending on how you look at this post. Special thanks to @squishyowl for giving me the parameters to calculate their (hard) schmeat sizes.

Without further adieu, Primarch cock descriptions. and also kind of how they fugg

LION EL'JONSON- 11 inches, 27 cm. Untrimmed and uncut. He shows a godly amount of restraint to you. Behind closed doors, he's much softer than he lets on. As far as girth goes, he's in the middle of the road... for a Primarch. He may not be the most experienced of his brothers, but he's going to do a thorough job anyways.

???- Dick fell off.

FULGRIM- 10 inches, 25 cm. Long and slender. You may expect a piercing, but he does not want to mar his natural appearance (at least before the Heresy.) Shaves religiously. He likes when his partner can't move, when they squirm underneath him, though he'll have a hard time admitting this.

PERTURABO- 7 inches, 18 cm. The smallest cock on the list, but he more than makes up for it while he is using it. He's got a bit of girth to him, but he can still fit in your mouth. Somewhat. His hands engulf your head as he pushes you down on him. Once he's out, tell him how good he feels.

JAGHATAI KHAN- 13 inches, 33 cm. The fastest one out of the Primarchs as far as each thrust goes. It curves up when erect, not unlike a scimitar. Veiny, but not strikingly so. Even though he's exceptionally fast, he likes being ridden. Especially on his bike.

LEMAN RUSS- 14 inches, 35 cm. He's uncut and hairy down there, he's never shaved his bush. He's also girthy. But what's most remarkable about him is his knot. This makes it hard for him not to breed his partners, where applicable. He'll hold you down and lock himself in on you, holding you down on him with his massive hands.

ROGAL DORN- 10 inches, 25 cm. He's circumcised and he keeps a clean shave. He's girthy, but not unbearably so. He enjoys tying up his partner and watching them melt as he goes down on them. Ever stoic, his expression rarely changes as he plows through you. Also a fan of doing it in his office.

KONRAD CURZE- 9 inches, 23 cm. Veiny, almost paper white, and uncut. He's not a gentle lover, especially considering his size. Usually there will be blood involved, and usually it is yours. He doesn't normally just use his cock; if he can reach you, he'll be biting you. And if not, he'll draw blood anyways.

SANGUINIUS- 8 inches, 20 cm. Surprisingly girthy, with low-hanging balls. He's uncut, but his bush is usually trimmed. He doesn't just use his cock, he bites where he can and envelopes you in his wings. He's gentle... for the first five minutes. He'll leave the most marks out of any of the Primarchs, prompting you to cover up the day after.

FERRUS MANUS- 17 inches, 43 cm. Lord have mercy. He is the most well-endowed Primarch, with balls to match. He'll hold you down with his cool silver hands as he pushes himself in. He's gentle, far more than he lets on, but he is still a Primarch. He's become quite the aftercare giver.

???- Penis serious, Penis delirious. Penis in the woods, call that penis mysterious

ANGRON- 9 inches, 23 cm. The arena had not been kind, as he is scarred in several places around it. Fortunately, no blade has ever found its way there. He isn't gentle, not one bit, even if he is chained down. The Nails eat at his head, screaming for bloodshed. He thrusts faster in a vain attempt to block out the agony in his head.

ROBOUTE GUILLIMAN- 8 inches, 20 cm, and girthy. Despite his size being closer to normal for a baseline human, it's harder to fit it in due to his circumference. With some lube and determination, though, you can make it work. He likes putting it in you and watching you try to keep your composure before you inevitably slip up.

MORTARION- 11 inches, 27 cm. It's long and gaunt on him, but it's still massive in your hand. He's one of the more sensitive Primarchs, but he'd prefer if that fact were kept under wraps. Gentle touch gets him going like nothing else. And once he gets going, you'll get to bear firsthand witness to the endurance he's known for.

MAGNUS THE RED- The bastard can change his dick size on a whim. He already knows what size would make you feel best, and he can open up more than one hole at once using the Warp. He doesn't even have to touch you to open you up, turning you into an incomprehensible mess in front of him.

HORUS LUPERCAL- 12 inches, 30 cm. The most striking thing about it is the Prince Albert that adorns it, a simple iron thing with a dull shine. Even if by some miracle you're on top, he'll always be the dominant partner, and if you have the ability you are most definitely bearing his children at some point.

LORGAR AURELIAN- 11 inches, 28 cm. You weren't expecting the second shortest Primarch to pack so much, were you? Golden tattoos come close to it, but he hadn't the will to cover himself there. You'll spend a lot of time with him; he'll use his tongue for hours on end before finally gratifying himself.

VULKAN- 10 inches, 26 cm. He's warm all over, and below the belt is no exception. In the cold reaches of space, he's a great comfort. Even if he's not the biggest of the Primarchs, he likes watching you struggle on him. He's girthy, and he likes to choke you with it too. Gives the best aftercare.

CORVUS CORAX- 11 inches, 27 cm. He's long, slender, and he keeps a close shave. He's a gentle lover when you're properly going at it and not hiding your risque behavior while in public. He'll hold your hands and whisper praises into your ear, even if he has to bend himself at an uncomfortable angle.

ALPHARIUS- 8 inches, 21 cm. He's hairless, circumcised, and his balls are almost unnaturally even. You've seen many an Alpha Legion cock, and they all look similar. He likes to finish in his partner, leaving no trace that he was there except for the slightly odd hobble you have the next day.

Corvus Corax aka The Common Raven from Real Life is Forklift Certified!

Macraggean hospitality

The Primarchs at the Zoo

Emps is doing family bonding events again, so now they go to the Zoo

Lion: He gets into a staring contest with every big cat at the zoo. Needs to be stopped from getting into a fight with them. Otherwise very well behaved, just staring at animals and making notes. Fulgrim: There is one of those butterfly-houses where they just kind of fly around. Fulgrim is absolutly enchanted. Just sitting between the flowers and waiting for them to come say hi. He also definetly is wearing highly impractical clothes. Perty: Not quite sure what he should do, so he just ends up following Magnus and Fulgrim around. Get‘s to save them, because he thought about taking a powerbank and charging cable with him! Jagh: the pony riding thing is only for kids. This makes Jagh very sad. But he can tell Magnus about all the animals he knows from Chogoris. Tries to steal a horse, a yak and a camel for Magnus (not necessarely in that order) Leman: Wants to befriend every dog and wolf and similar animals. Will bark at them. Then ends up clinbing into one of the enclosures to pet the doggos and get‘s chased away by security. He stole a puppy tough! (Malcador forces Leman to bring it back, because it would be really sad without it‘s parents) Rogal: Not all that interested in the animals, but he really enjoys looking at the architecture. Brought a little sketchbook along for making notes, and some noise cancelling headphones. His siblings still get him to look at some animals and that‘s how everyone learns that Inwit is apparently full of ice-age megafauna. Rogal is just confused why the animals at the zoo aren‘t fluffy Konrad: He was very unhappy at first because there are so many people and it‘s loud and bright and smells. Then Fulgrim bought him some cute sunglasses from the Zoo Shop and Rogal gave him the printed out guidelines for how to care for the diffrent animals, so now Konrad can controll if the zoo is following the rules. As with every family-outing, he has visions of inevtable doom Sang: He is so excited! But some of the animals are very confused by his wings, either thinking he is one of them (very cute, Sang is very happy) or he is prey. Lion needs to buy him ice cream. Well he doesn‘t need to, but it comforts Sang. Then they go to the petting zoo and the goats start chewing on his wings. Sang somehow finds this very cute

Ferrus: He is making artistic photos of Fulgrim. After a while he still get‘s bored with this and goes to listen to Robs animal trivia Angron: Absolutly no one expected him to just plop down in the pettong zoo and feed goats for the rest of the day. The goats are climbing onto him and Angron is just happy. It is very hard to get him home again, Rob: The logistics of running a zoo! He is so excited about that, he nearly forgets they are there for the animals. He made sure to read up on trivia about every single animal in the zoo and now shares this knowledge with his siblings. Morty: He also wants to watch butterflies, but Fulgrim is allready there… after a while they start talking and Morty starts infodumping. Fulgrim finds this too cute. They are later seen walking out of the toilet all disheveled. Things definetly happend Magnus: He is here to do research. Yes, this involves stealing some of the animals. The most dangerous ones around actually. E told him not too, but who would Magnus be if he actually listend? Horus: He is spamming the family chat with photos of well, mostly himself. Sometimes there are animals in the background. Somehow ends up in the penguin enclosure and get‘s soaked. He isn‘t bothered, because the wet shirt accentuates his muscles, but he still get‘s kicked out of the zoo. Emps is very disappointed Lorgar: Not quite sure what he should do at first and kind of ends up wandering around alone. Then runs into Sang at the petting zoo and the goats try to eat his books. They then spend the rest of the day together Vulkan: All those baby animals! He might die from cuteness! He‘s making a ton of photos to share later, including a lot of embaressing things his siblings did. Corvus: They are nowhere to be found at first. Later Vulkan finds them sitting in the birdhouse, petting all the birds. Somehow the zookeepers haven‘t noticed. Konrad does not like this, as it is against the rooms. Alpharius Omegon: They have blended into the masses. No one knows what they did all day, but they return to the spaceship covered in plushies, cheap souvenirs and baby animals. Malcador also forces them to bring the animals back

Bonus: Emps: This was a fantastic idea, he is very proud of himself. Loudly yells about every cool animal he sees Malcador: He is highly stressed out. Why did they decide to make so many kids? Next family trip he‘ll just stay at home Valdor: He pays for everything.

Modern(M03） AU, Corvus Corax

(I've never played the guitar, so... maybe do something wrong)