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manufactured-pleasantry · 2 years

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The Bats are a family of detectives, hence why they do not tell each other anything. They just full expect each other to find out or somehow know, which they do. The problem is, not everyone is a Bat and that leads to funny misunderstandings and totally preventable shenanigans like Red Hood being arrested by the JL.

RH: Hey, not cool. You totally just blew my undercover operative.

JL: Excuse me??

NW: Yo, what gives man? He worked on that for three months. Also, why is my baby brother locked up?

RR, hacking the Watchtower: Ay yo, RH, what are you doing in space? Agent A is upset you missed book club.

JL: What is happening?

B: Hey, Robin wants to spar with y’all . Wait, is that Red Hood? Why have you locked up my son?

R: Tt, Hood, why haven’t you escaped yet? Those handcuffs shouldn’t be capable of restraining for more than thirty seconds.

RH: Honestly, I just wanted some answers and space is pretty cool

JL: ????? SON???? Red Hood, the crime lord, who is somehow Nightwing’s baby brother is your son???

B: Yes....? Did you not know? Also, he’s not a crime lord anymore. He just controls the Narrows. It’s not the same thing.

RH: Ya, I’m a reformed crime lord. Everyone knows that.

RR: Uhuh, that’s common knowledge. Everyone knows the birds are Batman’s kids.

JL: ???

#confused justice league #confusing batfamily #jason todd #red hood #batman #bruce wayne #dick grayson #nightwing #tim drake #red robin #damian wayne #robin #bats are bad at communicating because they're detectives and want other people to figure things out themselves

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incorrectbatfamandfriends · 3 months

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Riddler: Riddle me this boy-

Riddler: Batman?

Batman!Dick: Yes?

Riddler: Who the fuck is this?

Batman!Dick: This is Robin.

Riddler: Obviously. But he’s different. He’s all scowly. Where’s the fun one, who likes my riddles?

Batman!Dick: He’s taking some PTO. Can we get on with this?

Riddler: No.

Batman!Dick: What? Why not!

Riddler: Well I would but it wouldn’t be very fair. See the riddles I had for tonight were kind of specific to a couple of past games me and the other one had done.

Batman!Dick: What you never did that for me when I was Robin-

Riddler: Yes well it just wasn’t as fun with you.

Batman!Dick: So what, are you going to just let the hostages go?

Riddler: Well I guess. I’ll have to come up with something different, we can reschedule.

Batman!Dick: So what, do we just take you back to Arkham or-

Riddler: *shrugs* That’s fine. I’ll just table this one for when he gets back.

#incorrect batfam #incorrect batfamily quotes #batfam #batfamily #tim drake #red robin #dick grayson #nightwing #robin #damian wayne #the riddler #gotham rogues #Damian was very confused

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dragonpyre · 3 months

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Ok but au where Jason had vitiligo or poliosis since he was a kid and always had the white hair streak but just dyed it when he was with Bruce so as to not give away Robins identity. Stops doing that after he died cuz there wasn’t really a point. Somehow the rest of the family (minus Bruce) didn’t even KNOW he has poliosis/vitiligo and just assumes it’s a death thing

This leads to many confusing conversations

#Cass gets very upset when she comes out of the Lazarus pit with no cool hair streak #dick once bought him a shirt saying #“I died and all I got was this cool hairdo #much to Jason’s confusion #text post #dc #dc comics #jason Todd #red hood #batfamily #batfam #Batman

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puppetmaster13u · 5 months

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You know what I need more of? The Batkids completely fucking with the Justice League and their rogues and coming up with stories for their existence.

Like I am talking about the creation of demigods sort of stories, like Loki sort of stories.

Duke has convinced all of Gotham that he's the Bat Signal brought to life and that's why he's never seen at night and why the signal literally doesn't work during the day. He's waiting giddily for the story to spread outside of the city.

The batkids have convinced half the League that Nightwing is quite literally Batman's lovechild with Justice. Hey, Constantine had a one night stand with the manifestation of a city and they've dealt with gods before, so surely it's not that surprising? Right???

I need more of the Batkids being little shits, of Alfred the-greatest-enabler Pennyworth backing them up and Bat(the-biggest-troll)man to never confirm the stories, but he doesn't deny them either.

#batman au #batman #dc #dcu #prompts #cryptid batfam #cryptid batman #technically human batfam but doing their darndest to convince people they aren't #and it's working #Justice League #batfam #They are making LORE for themselves #batfamily #Hilariously there's gonna be some panic from a few of the rogues that B has been with lmao #Somehow they convinced several people that the stabby Robin was made by Batman alone #There was no mother and people are very confused and a little scared to ask #I just want Chaos

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ghost-bxrd · 3 months

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Prompt:

Tim is the first to find out the Red Hood’s identity and from then on sticks to Jason during patrol like glue (much to Jason’s chagrin, dammit, it would feel wrong to beat up Robin when he’s that starry eyed…)

Cue: PANIC from the rest of the Batfamily, who still think Hood is a forty-something year old crime lord and now assume they’re dating.

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flamingpudding · 2 months

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That's our baby hero

Protective Amity Park Au but maybe not like you would think?

Danny's identity wasn't as hidden as Sam, Tucker, Jazz and him thought. His identity was an open secret, in fact his whole town knew that Danny was their hero Phantom, well everyone but his oblivious parents but they were a case of their own. The thing was his entire town knew about his oh so big secret identity and that he was the one trying to save them from ghosts 90% of the time as well as from his own parents crazy inventions at times.

Dash shoving him into lockers like a bully? Danny didn't look good and Dash tried in crude ways to give him reasons to skip classes to rest. It also later was a good move to hide him from snoopy government agents also known as the Guys in White or GIW for short. Really his bullying played perfectly into him finding creative ways to get Danny to skip classes for rest.

Valerie hunting him and other ghosts? Well she was hunting him in the very beginning, but then it became an attempt to make him stop fighting the ghosts on their behalf but in the end it turned into her trying her best to be the support to him that Sam and Tucker couldn't be in a fight. Let alone taking 'night shifts' from him so Danny could get at least a good nights rest every now and then.

Sam's parents the Mansons? Sure they didn't like him that much from the start anyway but most of their anger later stemmed from the danger their daughter was willingly get into to help their reckless teenhero that shouldn't be a hero at his age anyway. Let alone shoulder the responsible for their entire town at the age of 14.

Tuckers parents? They were glad any time Danny stayed over with their son, even attempting to subtitle convince the boys to have more sleepovers at their home. Surely being a hero with ghost powers and living in a house of ghost hunting parents wasn't easy on Danny. They were glad that they could give him some peace at their home. They willingly ignored it when Danny showed up late night in Tuckers room, getting patched up by their son.

The entire town apparently hating him with all these negative newspapers and comments? All fake in a desperate attempt to get the 14 years old teenager with a bad sleeping schedule and powers to stop risking his damned life, half-life. Surely if they appeared not thankful the kid would get the hint and stop playing hero. Like seriously he was a kid! Who's bright idea was it to let a kid fight these dangerous appearing ghosts?! Oh right the poor kids parents were incompetent when it came to ghost hunting and it wasn't like they could just up and do it without destroying the kids confidence. Plus the GIW were no help either.

Vlad becoming Mayor was not exactly their plan but they thought maybe they could use that as some help to convince Danny more that he didn't need to play hero for them just because he got powers now. That didn't turn out like they hoped and THAT plan was dismissed quickly. Especially when the GIW showed up. They learned their lesson sort of quickly after that, at least when it came to people from out of Amity did not mean well.

Lancer, at first when Danny first showed up as Phantom, had attempted to get into contact with the Justice League several times, so that Danny would actually get the professional help he needed and get some sleep at night as well as the time he needed for his schooling so that heroing wouldn't be the only career path he would be forced into. The additional point of getting the kid training too for his powers was also very tempting, there are only so many chemical breakers they could allow the him to break before they HAD to sort of ban him from touching them again.

But when the GIW appeared in their town they stopped trying to reach the Justice League. Suspecting that that was the answer they sent in regards to their SOS calls. Amity Parks protectiveness over their teenheroes that sacrificed to much skyrocketed. They started to sabotage the Agents subtitle. Always working within the limits of the orders and finding the loop holes.

"Oh but we did comply, not our fault that you guys tripped and let Phantom escape."

"Wupp, sorry I got that from the Fentons for self defence, but it looks like I need to work on my aim."

"I am so sorry, my car is stuck! See my tire is popped I can't get out of your vans way."

The fact that Amity Parks weather report was more a report on the ghosts, the Fenton parents and the GIW was all a tactic for them all to keep each other informed so they could execute any step to ensure their -by now- towns sweethearts safety. Even if they still tried to turn the poor kid away from being a hero with all the unnecessary mean comments and articles.

So when one day a hero from the Justice League showed up it was predictable that they all were suspicious of it. Even more so when that hero came with a bunch of teenage heroes. Apparently they were here to investigate a bunch of ignored calls one of the teenheroes found in their call logs. Some of the adults eyed Lancer who in turn was glaring at the heroes fessed up, he hadn't attempted to call them ever since they decided to sent the GIW into their town. Which apparently was more of a cover as these heroes showed an interest in the Fentons research of Ectoplasm pretty quickly.

Well now Batman and his flock of bats and birds were confronted with a very unhappy town that was apparently very protective of their hero and 'accidentally' continued to manage to block them from making contact with said teenhero. And who where these Guys in white suits that tried to suck it up to Batman? Better question why was the entire town suddenly hostile towards them when they started to look into the Fenton Family that had a connection to Lazarus Water?

Meanwhile Danny is confused by his towns newfound favouritism towards Batman and his entourage and how whenever he went to find out what was that about everyone seems to deflect. Even Sam, Tucker and Jazz were confused by what was going on!

#danny fenton #danny phantom #dp x dc #dpxdc #dcxdp #crossover #bruce wayne #amity park #protective amity park #the town doesn't trust Batman #they don't know what he could want with their teenhero #Batman and his kids are just trying to invetstate something #And Danny is just confused not realising what was going on #Danny's parents are the only ones that don't know about his identity #random late night thoughts #prompt idea #dp x dc prompt #Probably could work as dp alone #but I like the dpxdc crossovers to much to not mention the batfamily

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qcomicsy · 1 year

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Alfred comes home and there's a whole noise from the kitchen.

Alfred: Is everything okay?

Damian: Dumbass is coming out.

Alfred: Oh.

Alfred (to Dick): ...I figured this day would come sooner or later...

Dick:

Alfred: Don't think I didn't saw it my boy, and pardon me if I should said something before...

Dick: No, no, no it's not

Alfred:... I mean It was obvious from the start but I figured I shouldn't press-

Dick: Alfie It's not

Jason: No, no let him finish.

----

Batman: Yes, my kid also came out to me recently.

Superman (to Dick): Oh wow, that's great! I'm proud of you buddy.

Dick:

Dick: What

Tim: It's me.

Superman: Oh

Superman: Oh wow, thats great! I'm proud of you buddy.

Dick: No, wait you can't just-

----

Jon: I'm just glad in not being alone in this, you know.

Titans:

Dick: It's not me.

Titans: "Oh, right. Sure." " Yeah we knew it" "Totally"

#I've been thinking about this since Tim came out beaceus that was pretty much every reaction from everyone I know #And i find fucking hilarious #Tim had more in lore logic but Grayson just screams queer energy and there's no way people around him didn't caught up onto that #jason todd #tim drake #dick grayson #batfam #incorrect quotes #batfamily incorrect quotes #the funniest part is that if gotham knights is cannon he might actually be and this is just him being confused #on how people think he'll need to come out #but if he's not he's the talk Valentina of the family and we love him anyway

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batty-pham · 7 months

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Trans Danny Fenton?

Amazing. Yes.

Twin Damian and Danny.

Beautiful. Wonderful.

Imagine with me for a second.

Damian is finally reunited with his long lost twin, he is angry to hide how relieved he is that he is no longer the only blood child anymore.

Elle is just really confused why Robin clocked her as a clone, then changed his mind and decided to hug her while crying. This was not what she was expecting was going to happen when she ventured into Gotham.

#batfamily #batkids #dp x dc #dp x dc crossover #dpxdc #danny phantom #ellie phantom #damian wayne #damian is just excited to have his twin #ellie doesn't know that this is danny's twin brother because dANNY DIDN'T THINK TO MENTION IT?#they're both confused #for very different reasons

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acaiyatree · 3 months

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you have so much to do, and i have nothing ahead of me

might be blurry, click on pic for higher quality

#dc #dc comics #dcu #dc universe #talia al ghul #brutalia #batman #batfam #batfamily #robin #bruce wayne #damian wayne #damian al ghul #my art >:DD #art #also help me i've been trying to upload this to tt #and it keeps going against community thingies????#people who actually know what it is pls tell me bc genuinely #i'm so confused

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bet-on-me-13 · 1 year

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Danny runs for Mayor P.2

kgned3Part 1

Some more snippets of the Gotham Mayor Danny AU!

...

Danny would absolutely try to hire some of the Rouges as his Mayoral Cabinet, I can just imagine Waylon Jones, the Killer Croc, in a Suit and Slacks sitting in a the Mayors Office while awkwardly holding his resume.

Danny: So, Mr. Jones, why do you think we should hire you? Waylon: Well sir, I have something of a reputation and I feel like I would be an amazing Bodyguard. Danny: OK, one question though. What is your opinion on Clowns? Waylon: I don’t like them. Danny: Hired!

...

Danny: Now, Mr Nygma, what do you think you would bring to my office? Edward: Well sir, I am fairly well known for my expert planning and timing skills. Also I can give you fun riddles whenever you want! Danny: Hmmm, that’s definitely a good point. One question, if needed, will you attack a clown on sight? Edward: Yes? Danny: Hired!

...

Danny: Now, I can see that you used to have a very reputable resume Mr. Dent. Harvey: Thank you sir. Danny: I can’t see any reason to refuse your application, but I do have one question. Do you like Clowns? Harvey: Uhm...yes? Danny: I am sorry dir, but I am going to have to reject your application for a job in the Mayors office. Mr Jones, please escort this man out

...

Danny would absolutely do an amazing job in decreasing the crime rate, just by virtue of the fact that his very presence is destabilizing the Curses put on the City.

But at the same time, his policies are also very efficient, based on Gen Z Humor/Ideas

Danny: As my new Law states, every year the most rich person in the City will be forced to give up 70% of their assets to Charity. You can avoid this by donating as much as possible in the weeks leading up to the Sacrifice Day, whoever donates the most is exempt from the choosing even if they are the Richest, we will then move on to the second Richest, and so on Reporter: Sir, isn’t this just the “Winner Of Capitalisms” Prompt from Tumblr? Danny: Yes.

...

Batman: Why did you just pass a Law that states that all Vigilantes are given the right to kill? Danny: Because I accidentally hired every villain in Gotham, so now there is nobody to try and bribe me. And if nobody tries to bribe me, then nobody realizes that I will only accept bribes if the Joker is dead, like I said in my Campaign. I know that you guys have a no-kill rule, but I know at least one of you who would jump at the chance Batman: *realizes that Dick has already killed the Joker once, Jason is actively attempting to every day, Tim is chaos incarnate and would do it to feel included, and Damian just really wants to let loose* Well played...

...

Danny: Vlad, I am serious. Leave me alone or I will put you in Soup Jail for 3 months! Vlad: FINE! I’ll just go possess another Billionaire to force them to give me their company again Batman, listening from outside the window: What the f-

...

Danny in every conversation with the Batfamily: I re-respect your decision to not tak-take a life...but I must insist you kill the Joker...for the good of the peephol-People! He is not a good inf-influence on this city and he must be des...troyed. Batman: *Wondering why he sounds like he is reading from a script* Um, I don’t think thats a good idea? Lady Gotham: *Standing behind Batman with some Cue Cards, trying to communicate with her Knights through Danny* *Thumbs Up* Danny: Also I wanted to say that you need to- oh um, ok- to get over the deaths of your parents and grieve in a healthy way instead of adopting every child you see. You are doing a great job kid, parentheses, do not read this par- Oh-Oops. Batman: Hm. I’m not even going to question that anymore.

...

Tag List:

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allthegothihopgirls · 29 days

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when the batboys (as civilians) have to speak to authorities about situations, they're all pretty accustomed to having to lie to keep their vigilante identities a secret. so they'll fabricate why they were in a certain place at a certain time, how they landed in a situation, or how they sustained different injuries.

they were all properly trained on giving false accounts to protect themselves, whilst still giving ie: police the important crime details, or doctors the relevant medical info. and it's just one of The Things they all do and don't really think twice about.

then damian comes along. constantly going "to say that is how i ended up there would be simply belittling to my character" or "that's absurd. no one will believe that. why can't i just tell them what actually happened?" and no amount of explaining will help him understand why.

there is a lot of subtle nudges and whispers of "damian, just do it for god's sake", because he finds the absolute worst times to question their strategies too.

#i think the whole soup of league training and bruce training gets to him more than just a little #he gets. very confused #damian wayne #damian al ghul #dick grayson #jason todd #tim drake #dc batman #dc comics #dcu #dc #robin #the robins #batboys #batfam #batfamily #gothihop speaks

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help-itrappedmyself · 2 months

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Danny punches a Clown Part 7

Masterpost

Danny wakes up some time later. Red and Agent A are there waiting for him in chairs on either side of his bed.

“Hey, how are you feeling?”

“Less tired at least.” Danny was well enough he could feel his wounds trying to heal. “Could probably use some food though.”

“I will go retrieve it for you now that you are awake.” Agent A walks out of the med area.

“You feel up to meeting a few people? They’re going to be around so you should know who they are.”

“I guess so.” Danny sits up on the bed, bringing his knees to his chest.

Red leans out past the curtain and waves some people over. When he takes his seat, a man in a blue and black suit with a mask on and someone in an all-black suit with a head covering that comes down over his eyes comes in behind him. They stay standing by the curtain.

“You met Nightwing earlier, and this is Batman.” Red introduces. Nightwing waves when Red says his name. “We all work together here.”

Danny nods.

“Hey, Danny!”Dick comes over to sit in the chair on the other side of Danny’s bed. “We have a few questions that we would like to ask you if you’re feeling up for it.”

Danny shrugs.

“Okay, well we know you haven’t been in Gotham long, where did you come from?”

Danny wonders if he tells them a different dimension if they would believe him. If they would try to send him back. “Illinois.”

Nightwing let out a short whistle. “That’s a long way Danny.”Danny snorts at that. “Did you come here by yourself?”

“Yeah.” Danny starts picking at the edges of the blankets, trying not to look anyone in the eye- not that he could, they all have some form of mask on.

“Okay. Well, we have some concerns. Don’t know if you remember what you were talking about before you went to sleep, but you said some things about being shot at a lot, by your parents and some other people.”

“What part of that is a question?” Danny leans forward and rests his cheek on his knees, watching himself pick at the blanket. He found a loose thread that he’s started twirling around his fingers.

“Can you tell us more about the people who were shooting at you? We’d like to look into them.”

Something in the tone Nightwing is using makes him sound all clinical. Like a social worker. Or a cop. It shouldn’t matter really because the people that did this to him are inaccessible unless they have some way to dimension hop.

“Doesn’t matter anymore, I’m here now.”

“What made you come here? Do you have a family member, or friends that you were meeting?”

“For real, are you a social worker? Psychologist, cop, what.” Danny looks up at him. “You brought me to a cave f and you’re all wearing masks, but you’re talking to me like I’m going to freak out or something. You can stop acting like I’m a child. I know what’s happened to me. Frankly, the fact that I’m trapped in a cave with people dressed the way you are is more concerning for me than being back on the street. So can we get on with you doing whatever you’re going to do?”

“We’re not going to do anything Danny.” Red leans towards him. “We just want to make sure you have somewhere to go.”

“I don’t.” Danny states plainly. He knows his circumstances and he can’t risk going back home for a while, shouldn’t go back at all except to grab his stuff and leave again.

The three share a few glances back and forth, having quite an in-depth silent conversation. Danny rolls his eyes and goes to stand up, they all immediately try and stop him.

“Whoa, what are you doing?” Nightwing asks.

“Where are you trying to go?” Comes from Red.

“You’re injured, you should stay in bed.” Comes from Batman.

Just then, Agent A pushes aside the curtain, walking in with a tray.

“I do hope you aren’t overwhelming the patient.” He brings the tray over, Danny straightens his legs and A situates the tray in his lap. “This boy needs to eat, and to rest. You don’t need to worry about where he’s going until he is fit to be out of bed. He’s not going anywhere until he’s improved.”

“Sir, I’m sure it’ll be fine-” Danny starts.

“Nonsense. I will not stand for it. You need proper treatment or your wounds will get infected. Now, eat or your body will not have the necessary fuel to heal.”

Danny bows his head and looks at the tray in front of him. A brought him chicken noodle soup, he starts to eat as A shepherds everyone back out and closes the curtain behind them.

“Now, I know this cannot be easy for you, being injured and alone.” A comes to sit in the chair that Red vacated. “I assure you that you have a place here at least until you are better. Even if you wish to leave now, you will not be able to get better on the streets.”

“Thank you.” Danny says. “I didn’t mean to snap at them.”

“I’m sure they will forgive you for it, you are under a lot of stress right now.”

Danny nods. “Thank you for the food. It’s amazing.”

“Of course, Mister Danny. I will be making sure you are well nourished while you are with us. Please, let me know if you have any preferences.”

“Anything that’s not alive is good for me.”

Agent A just looks at him. “You did mention something about fighting your food last night. I had thought you were talking out of a bit of delirium.”

“Oh, no that used to happen. The chemicals my parents used reanimated the food sometimes. Had to fight some hot dogs. A chicken. Our kitchen was a hazard.”

“I dare say so.” A has a very scrunched up look on his face. “Rest assured nothing of the sort has ever happened in my kitchen.”

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adeptune01 · 1 year

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Jason: SCREW you Replacement!

Tim: I CANNOT believe you fell for that!

Dick: Whoa- whoa- let's all calm down here! Damian- what happened?

Tim: This numbskull-

Jason: I should just shoot-

Dick: I ASKED DAMIAN! Damian- what happened?

Damian: It has been a long time since Todd frequented fast food establishments and Tim told him that while he was gone McDonalds had recently added to their menu...

Dick: Oh. Oh no.

Jason: Fuck you, Drake, for telling me that there was an "among us" meal at McDonalds. That was the most humiliating experience of my life!

Dick: Tim!

Tim: This is just payback for that time Todd told me he had put fear serum in one of my Kuerig pods and not knowing which one would add "spice to my mornings".

Dick: JASON-

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hugsandchaos · 10 months

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Imagine Danny running from Dash to escape the bullying, but then he spots Batman or some other member of the JL or batfamily and bolts past Dash screaming and in a bigger panic than before. And Dash is like “huh??” because these guys are real and for some reason after Danny??

Danny: I AIN’T BEING ADOPTED TODAY!!!

Dash: ????

#dc x dp #dc x dp prompt #dp x dc #dp x dc prompt #danny doesn’t want to be adopted by the JL #Dash is confused #danny phantom and bat family #batfam #batfamily #JL

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reineydraws · 2 years

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more older brother teasing from one jason peter todd :')

#dc fanart #batfamily #batfamily fanart #jason todd #damian wayne #wayne family adventures #red hood #robin #alfred pennyworth #dcu #comic #dc comic #dc comics #damian al ghul #batfam #batfam fanart #if ur confused jason's sitting on a bed in the batcave's medbay lol #i was too lazy to draw any environmental context lol sorry not sorry

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ghost-bxrd · 4 months

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Prompt:

Damian, who has just lost the last member of his family, goes off the deep end and, in a fit of violent rage, goes tumbling through a portal and back in time.

Jason doesn’t know how the scary guy with the gunshot wound became his problem but he’s not heartless enough to leave him to bleed out beside some dumpster in Crime Alley.

#Damian imprinting on Jason like a duckling #but like in reverse #grown up Damian adopting baby Jason #reverse robins in a way #Damian landing several years in the past in league outfit:#Damian’s mental stability is like a house of leaves #during a hurricane #not very stable #Jason as Damian’s emotional support kid #what do you do when there’s a highly trained assassin running around Gotham killing anybody that breathes the wrong way at his kid #right you call the bat #said Bat is very confused #look I know this prompt is similar to the last one but I needed to get this outta my system #just like the goddamn anesthesia #prompts #jason todd #batfamily #batfam #Damian wayne #Damian al ghul #Damian casually starting a new life #slowly but surely gathering his family #because we all saw what happened when he lost them #dick grayson #bruce wayne #robin #tim drake #red hood #fic #time travel

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