#color rush (2020)
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i basically just stole this ask from @gunsatthaphan, partially because i’ve been wanting to make a post about it and after almost 3 years watching bls, i might as well. right? right. anyways.
Compilation of Bad Kisses in BLs (Part 1)
mind you, this is only for the ones i’ve seen. if i put every single bad kiss out there, this post would go on forever.
i strongly believe a kiss, whether is good or bad, can make or break a show and in my personal opinion, a lot of them fell off simply because of the fishy kisses. they are truly hard to watch, so much so that you have to look away because they are ugly and this is something we CAN and SHOULD blame both the actors and the company. sometimes, workshops are not enough.
i also believe that these actors shouldn’t play dumb. like, they HAVE to know there’s gonna be a kiss at some point. put in the work, pls.
LET’S GET IT
1. My Engineer (MekBoss)
at the time, i didn’t think it was that bad. i just thought they needed some work, a little bit of help because clearly it wasn’t that good either. now, i just see two walls kissing and we might not see these walls kissing ever again.
2. YYY (NottPun)
imagine watching this mess of a show, they promise you a kiss, and once you’re sure you’re gonna get it, they literally bring the sun out, block the view and that’s how the season ends. but honestly? the little i can see it’s still awful.
3. YYY 2 (NottPun)
well... there it is. no words.
4. 2gether (SarawaTine)
maturing is accepting the fact that 2gether had two straight bros playing these characters and that’s how they kissed and then the high five. it was a bad kiss, bestie. we were all just blinded by the pandemic and though this was high cinema.
5. SOTUS (ArthitKongpop)
i’m not afraid of the girlies still caught up on this show. this was a bad first kiss and i’m ready to die on this hill. granted, this was 2016, the actors were still iffy on playing queer characters, they were calling each other wife and the obsession with pink milk was at its peak. gmmtv had $5 and a dream and you could tell.
6. ‘Cause you are my boy/My Tee (TeeMork)
this was frankdrake’s first roles and you could tell. you could also tell that they were in the trenches because everything was bad with this show and i truly think it was a cry for help. they did the best they could with what they had but there was no way in hell they could save this show and honestly, i’m not surprised that their first kiss was like this. it goes well with the quality of the show.
7. Love By Chance (TinCan)
and it doesn’t get better after this. i’m gonna be the devil’s advocate, mean actually tried to make these kisses better but there was no helping with this couple. a mess.
8. Oxygen (SoloGui)
as far as first kisses go... yeah. granted, oxygen wasn’t really that good either but they could have salvage this show with a decent kiss. nothing. nada. it was a let down.
9. Make it right (FuseTee)
make it right paved the way for angle kisses.
now listen, i’m pretty sure boom and peak were 17 or something when they filmed this and back in the day, this was already too much. like, cheewin was pushing it by directing this show. still, it has to be on this list (it’s not like it hasn’t changed anyways. boom and peak would never EVER kiss. this was the closest we could get).
10. Where your eyes linger
i mean, come on. COME ON. i know this was like the first kbl and you know, they paved the way. give credit where credit is due and all that but LOOK. it’s bad. it was a good show, for the plot that it had and the limited time, it was good. BUT THE KISS WAS... it was a letdown.
11. Gen Y (MarkKit)
how are you gonna be a senior in the industry and still kiss like this? kimcop are one of those settled ships that are hard to break and to ship with someone else. with that in mind, you would think they would do wonders. gen y was a dumpster fire and so were the kisses.
12. WISH YOU: Your melody in my heart
this is where you start to understand that it’s not about the production or how short kbls are and that’s why the kisses are so bad. no, it’s because workshops apparently don’t exist in korea and they put these men to kiss without practicing first. this is the product. this is what you get.
13. Color Rush
i know some of you call it the best kbl out there because the plot was different, which is true, but like... their lips are not even touching... so yeah. next.
14. Nobleman Ryu’s wedding
i’m pretty sure this was supposed to be an angle kiss and they changed their mind at the last minute and we got... this. i mean, compared to others in this list is not that bad but is it good? far from it. this was also the first period kbl we got and it was kind of forgettable too. it was very low budget and you could see it with the kiss
15. What Zabb Man
BOTH COUPLES because both of them were such a let down. i was here mainly because of the toxics from gen y and with the crazy tension they had going on, i thought they would go off. not even that. don’t even get me started on the main couple. the manipulation that went down between them UGH but i can’t even get a good kiss out of this mess anyways.
#my engineer the series#yyy the series#2gether the series#sotus the series#my tee the series#love by chance#oxygen the series#make it right#gen y the series#wish you: your melody in my heart#where your eyes linger#color rush (2020)#nobleman ryu's wedding#what zabb man#thai bl#thai drama#korean bl#korean drama#if i get popular demand. i'll post part 2#one like. second post
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My entry for the banner art contest for the Technoblade Discord server, inspired by a parenting story Technodad shared on Reddit.
More ramblings about process below the cut!
I didn't have time to document much of my process, so I'll be dropping bits of trivia as they come to me.
The contest announcement dropped 08/08, and for a few days I thought I was gonna skip out on it because I couldn't think of a decent idea. But then inspiration struck when I rewatched Tonko House's The Dam Keeper short. I also recalled Technodad's sweet parenting story, so I decided to mash the two ideas together for my entry.
Most of the time spent on this piece was on the 3D modeling in SketchUp! I started modeling on 08/11, and had several false starts before settling on the final build on 08/18. Technodad mentioned in his story that his family lived in a condo in San Francisco, so I referenced the more iconic architecture of the location's residential areas. He probably lives in more modern housing, but I'm a sucker for the old-fashioned aesthetic. Artistic-liberty!
The theme of the banner art contest was "autumn", so I roughly blocked in the location of two trees which I would paint in autumnal colors. The street lamps were recycled from another banner contest I entered around 2020 for the CrankGameplays server themed after "spring" - I think it's fitting that it's reused in another seasonal-themed contest. Everything else was modeled from scratch!
I wish I documented more of my painting process, but all of the painting was done in a span of 1.5 days while I was recovering from a bug. Normally I'd take at least a week to finesse things, but I was in a rush. I needed to submit my entry before the deadline so there was ample time for upvotes, and I also had a commission I needed to wrap up before next month. I get restless when I have more than one project on my plate, especially when both are time-sensitive!
#technoblade fanart#technoblade#technodad#technodad fanart#Technoblade never dies#mcyt#mcyt fanart#purplealmonds#fan art#2023
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500 BLs - My Top 50
Somehow, in the mad end of year rush, I missed the fact that the BL Spreadsheet of Doom tipped over and into 500 BLs. Yep, I’ve now watch over 500.
Top 50 BLs - The Elite 10%
Seven Days - Japan 2015 (oldest BL on this list, also hold #1 spot, cute)
We Best Love: No. 1 For You & Fighting Mr. 2nd - Taiwan 2021
Semantic Error - Korea 2022
Light On Me - Korea 2021
Until We Meet Again - Thai 2019
To My Star - Korea 2021
Color Rush- Korea 2021
Old Fashion Cupcake - Japan 2022
Takara-kun and Amagi-kun - Japan 2022
Minato's Laundromat - Japan 2022
My Beautiful Man - Japan 2021
Cherry Blossoms After Winter - Korea 2022
HIStory 2: Crossing the Line - Taiwan 2018
Cherry Magic - Japan 2020
Bad Buddy - Thai 2022
A Tale of Thousand Stars - Thai 2021
Oxygen - Thai 2020
Be Loved In House: I Do - Taiwan 2021
Lovely Writer - Thai 2021
He's Coming to Me - Thai 2019
Blueming - Korea 2022
My Ride - Thai 2022
Wish You - Korea 2020
Not Me - Thai 2022
Nobleman Ryu's Wedding - Korea 2021
Love By Chance - Thai 2018
See You After Quarantine? - Taiwan 2021
Addicted - China 2016
Long Time No See - Korea 2017
My Tooth Your Love - Taiwan 2022
Why R U? - Thai 2020
The Tasty Florida - Korea 2021
About Youth - Taiwan 2022
SOTUS - Thai 2016
DNA Says Love You - Taiwan 2022
My Love Mix Up - Japan 2021
Roommates of Poongduck 304 - Korea 2022
The Eclipse - Thai 2022
Dark Blue Kiss - Thai 2019
Oh! Boarding House - Korea 2022
My Day - Pinoy 2020
Ocean Likes Me - Korea 2022
Gameboys - Pinoy 2020
Cutie Pie - Thai 2022
Life: Love on the Line - Japan 2020
Love Class - Korea 2022
Restart After Come Back Home - Japan 2020
Tinted With You - Korea 2022
2gether - Thai 2020
Choco Milk Shake - Korea 2022
Rankings aren’t fixed (outside of the three ratings). I basically just asked myself which one would I want to rewatch right now.
Bold = 10/10 (#1 ... #7)
Italics = 9/10 (#8 ... #25)
everything else is 8/10
Absolute BL not included because it’s parody
Love is Science? & Puppy Honey not included because BL is a B plot
Word of Honor has been censored off the list. Fuck that noise.
The following are highly ranked shorts
A First Love Story - Korea 2021
Just Friends? - Korea 2009 (would have been the oldest on the list)
Some More Korea - 2018
This is as of the end of 2022. Not responsible for any additional awesome BLs that have aired since then.
#best of BLs#50 for 500#yes i have now watched well over 500 bls#obsessive is as obsessive does#top 50 BLs of all time#Seven Days#Japanese Bl#We Best Love#Taiwanese BL#Semantic Error#Korean BL#Light On Me#Thai BL#Until We Meet Again#To My Star#Color Rush#Old Fashion Cupcake#Takara-kun and Amagi-kun#Minato's Laundromat#My Beautiful Man#Cherry Blossoms After Winter#HIStory 2: Crossing the Line#Cherry Magic#A Tale of Thousand Stars#Be Loved In House: I Do#Lovely Writer#He's Coming to Me#Blueming#Pinoy BL
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Mesquite Grove
Written: Sep 10 2020
Dark!Syverson x Black Reader
Also this is post is pic heavy. I really just mood boarded a lot to keep me going while I wrote. I modeled the cabin in this story of off Sky Notch. I hope it’s not to much lol and that you enjoy it. Thanks for reading and reblogging!
Autumn sits all around you. Monday, seven a.m and the town is quiet except for a few rushing cars on the highway just off from the store you now occupied. The colors of deep red and orange are dull in the morning haze but it signals change nonetheless. It felt good, for you too were experiencing another season in your life. A new town, another chance to start over. It would have been frightening if you didn’t know that without this, your life might have gone another direction.
You stood there in the doorway, hand on the knob as you opened it completely and pushed a big heavy basketball sized stone at the bottom corner. The cold nipped around your neck and you rushed back. And you waited, a lone dot slowly being enveloped in the heavy fog. This dense cloudy layer covers the town, the trees, the homes, your store and the one across the street.
It was beer delivery day at the liquor store and your turn of the month to stand here and take count of intake. With the door open, behind you pale light from within poured around your body as you stood in the frame. You were one leg out, it was too cold to stand completely in the weather so you stayed half in with the warmth. While watching the truck slowly roll in front of the door and then back in, you took stock of this new you. A year ago, a quiet life seemed so far away, there was a time you enjoyed the sounds of a city that never sleeps and the pace the people moved at. But here, standing in the presence of the singular sound of a truck engine it seemed peaceful.
The truck halted a few feet from the door, tail first, its lights ghostly in the fog and exhaust. You shifted to bat away the puffs of white, it doesn’t last long before a gentle frigid wind carries it off for a moment in another direction. And then there was silence once again with the cutting of the truck’s engine.
For a moment raised voices from the head of the truck mumble over the cracking of gravel. Laughter, low and sardonic of sorts was louder as two men exited. Their stomping upon small pebbles broke the eerie morning time quietness. The first man you saw, a regular on this route greeted you with a wave. Dave, shorter than you but stout in his shoulders and frame offered a smile.
“Hey, long time no see!” he said. You smile as best you can muster for this time of day and pull the clipboard from under your arm. “Haven’t seen you in a few weeks.” he added.
“The four of us take turns. Today was my day..”you said quietly.
“‘Gotta a new helper today.” said Dave, now standing in front of you. He handed a long slip of paper, a receipt of the day's products to be delivered.
“Well, I’m glad,--” Your words and attention are pulled by the sound of a racket coming from the truck. Loud and cumbersome, it was unusual for normally Dave would have slid it more gently. But your eyes landed on the back of Dave’s helper. He had slammed the platform that was hooked on to the door to the ground. The chains on either side still shook slightly from the action.
“--it’ll go faster this time at least.” you said finally and returned to your list.
The sliding of the truck’s cargo door jarred you again.
“Easy.” instructed Dave. “You break this shit we have to go back to the city for another truck.”
Once again you look up to see the man hop from the bed of the truck down to the platform. You didn’t look long. The man was already staring at you from under the rim of his dingy baseball cap. He was bulky and heavy with his footsteps as he strode the short distance to you. What you did see of him, he was large with broad shoulders and a frame built for hard labor you supposed.
“Nice to meet ya,” he said in a smooth voice. It was surprisingly light, and pleasant despite the rugged thick beard that nearly hid his lips.
A greet worth grin, short and tight unfolded upon your lips as you spoke. “Dave’ll show you were to go.”
“You aren’t even going to ask me my name?” asked the man, his smile when bigger as did the delight in his eyes. He slapped the back of his hand on Dave’s shoulder. “I thought you said the folks at The Corner Store were friendly?”
Your eyes bounced from the man to Dave who looked noticeably uncomfortable, but still managed a grin and a shrug.
The man turned back to you, his white teeth shiny in the light from behind you. “I’m Sy.”
“Okay?”
The sarcasm hung between the rushing sound of a car and the shuffling of Dave’s feet. You rolled your eyes back to Dave. “Anything new on the list?” you asked, ignoring Sy as he walked back to the truck.
An hour in and nearly done, Sy follows you through the first trailer lined with a variety of hot beer, winding to the next right entry way he continued to follow you through the second trailer. Once again, this one too held more warm cases of beer. Down the ramp at the end of the trailer he followed you into the main part of the store, fit for retail and held a large selection of spirits and wines in this section. He followed you still passed the counter toward the large fridge where shoppers could browse the sections of glass doors. But that wasn’t the destination. Instead you walked to the end, opened the door, a muscle reflex really, you held the door open for him as he entered too. Cold, though it felt warmer than outside, and packed and stacked into half rows with more selections of beer he followed behind you at the end. Shelving lined the end of the rectangular space, and underneath that was where he was to stack his cargo.
“You’re new here.”
You didn’t bother to turn around, “What gave it away?” you asked.
Sy lightly half scoffed and laughed. “Well this is my hometown. I know everybody here and you’re definitely not a local.”
Not easily swayed by casual conversation you ignored him. But his presence, the largeness of his body is equal to the energy he silently emits. That can’t be pushed aside. Sy waits while you move to the back row and pick up the last flat case of canned ale and place on the stack behind you. With a finger you gesture to that corner and he squeezes between the metal shelves with beer waiting for customers and the stacks of cases on the dolly. From on top of the beer he pushed in he grabbed for five flats of canned spirits and approached you in the corner. Within this space it was incredibly small to begin with. But with him, his broad shoulders and height you quickly become uncomfortable with not having a way out.
He bent over and slammed the cases into the empty spot. He performed this action twice more until he carried the last of it to this area. And then at last, standing in front of you close enough to smell whatever soap he used that morning he reached for the cold case you placed on top of the other beer. He smiled at you, a grin mostly, one you would see from another who had familiarity with the other person.
When he stood, his chest was inches from you. Parts you thought were atrophied spark to life, it had been years since you were this close to a man. The pieces fired up, your skin first, smooth turned bumpy though you blamed the cold and ignored it mostly because then your heart beat harder. Besides the whoosh of the refrigerator unit suspended behind you it was all you could hear in this moment. Sy titled his head slightly with his eyes gliding down from your chest to waist and perhaps further still you were sure. Immediately put off you turned toward the door, it felt so far away now, relief from this weight of him seemed hours away.
“I have to cut a check,” you mumbled and hoped it sounded plausible, it was the truth after all.
Without turning back a short gasp hissed across the sound of the fan. Sy was doubly close, his chest and stomach bumped into yours. Head still turned a bit and you cut your eyes back at him. He was focused on your neck, he leaned in closer and his beard brushed across the skin of your neck as his fingers dug the high collar coat away. You stepped back, well tried - there was no room to step, instead you teetered back against the wood wall, one hand grasped the cases to your right the other placed on his shoulder.
“What-” you asked but then heard a loud sniffing sound from him.
Instantly the chills upon your arms moved up through your shoulders and fizzled all the way down the sides of your spine. He dragged his nose up through your hairline at the back of your neck. A breathy whimper later, your body felt light, yielding at something you hadn’t had in a very long time - connection. Titling your head up at the feeling of small shudders coursing down your back, the feeling was inescapable, untamed and raw.
And then it ended. Sy stepped back, his light eyes dark now stared back at you with something that you recognized as a man starved. He blinked and took off his cap, ran a hand through wild curls and replaced his cap. You stayed there unable to wholly accept what just happened but also, those pieces of you missed whatever that was.
“Sorry about that - I couldn’t resist any longer.”
You wanted to ask the question; resist what? The impropriety begged for argument, to yell and tell him off about crossing your boundaries as men were often want to do. But then you remembered where he stood, where you were too and how many things between you and the door there were.
Adjusting the neck of your jacket your eyes wandered back to the door. “No worries,” you said.
Sy nodded with a smile emerging from his beard. The parts of you separated again, once again in their scattered places you frown at him. “Are you done? Can you get the fuck out of my way?”
Sy stepped aside with his back against the shelving and the other cases of beer underneath it. Internally you scream at the lack of space he offered you but took it anyway. Quickly you step forward, keep your body pressed against the opposite side column of beer and can only manage to brush your arm across his chest as you pass.
You didn’t bother to look back once around the last stack, you strode down the rows of beer hearing the clanging of the dolly behind. No door holding either as you walk out of the fridge door and to the register counter. It wasn’t until you were back behind there and near a phone did you feel normal again. In this dingy old liquor store, at least here with packs of cigarettes and brown spirits did you feel safe.
Halfway through your work week you awoke to the shrill crowing of a rooster. Scrunched up on the side of your full bed your eyes cracked open to the pale morning light bleeding through your curtains. It crooned again and you blinked, brows pushed together as your eyes shot to the fabric slowly moving with the wind from the ceiling fan.
You grabbed your phone on the end table, checked the time: 6:14 a.m.
Shuffling on the other side of the window and the waggle of chicken noises was followed by another crow, this time the thing had to be directly in front of the window.
“God damnit.”
While you enjoyed this house, this space you created into your own vision of a singular life you felt bothered. In the past this sort of interruption in sleep either by sounds of the city or fighting from an adjoining apartment, or even the people you shared the apartment with would have been met with lukewarm animosity. But here, in this home, as you rose from the bed with little more than a shirt on, this chicken with his cawing and carrying on, you thought he might have made a better sandwich than a living thing.
You jerked open the front door and in a flurry of wings and feathers about a half dozen chicken hysterically flapped and scattered. They ran further when you dashed toward them with raised hands motioning them to flee.
At the end of the porch the last chicken jumped over the railing and out into your yard. Wind from your left, the north gusted around your bare legs and up under your thin shirt. Before you began to turn and go back to the warmth of your bed something caught your eye. From your house within the valley, rising upon a crest of a hill a white tin roof gleamed as the rising sun touched it.
You would admit there was never really any concern to know the neighbors. Other than your house, this home about a mile away on the tall mound was the only house to be seen for miles. You still hadn’t met them officially, if people even did that around here.
But their land stretched for as far as your eye could see. Marked by barbed wire fencing and metal stakes coming as close as maybe ten feet from what would be your land. But unlike your side of the fence, which was mowed before the beginning of fall, their grass grew tall and wild, the cedar and mesquite trees were thick, the cactus patches unattended as well.
Besides this morning chicken fiasco, you hadn’t even seen the neighbors. It made you think, just a jolt really that broke up the fuzziness of groggy thoughts, that perhaps the people who lived there did not want to be seen.
Saturdays were never easy, unlike the rest of the work week this day was met with constant customers as opposed to the lazy walkin’s of a Friday night. The liquor store would be closed on Sunday, so the rush to get the drinks for the weekend shook more people lose to come and get their selections. Also, to the side of the store, the park was filled and in the evening was lit up brightly with lights. This was different. Normally it was dark with zero cars or people. Whatever was happening brought even more people in than usual.
Your co-worker, Hyacinth, short and blond went by Cindy mostly, rushed from behind the counter to open the beer cooler for you. As typical, you were the beer roller tonight. Laden down with a variety of beer you rolled it passed the counter where Adeline still stood helping customers make their final purchases.
“I got it!” called Cindy.
“My back is killing me,” you whispered as you rolled past her.
A constant complainer, and as predicted she issued back her own set of ailments. “Well try standing behind the counter constantly after you stumped your toe this morning.”
She said it frankly, as if you had no idea what pain was or could not possibly understand. You rolled your eyes back in front of you and walked through the open door while Cindy followed in behind you.
“And I got sick this morning,”
“Stop drinking.” your voice rose up a bit louder over the roar of the fans.
“I wasn't! I just woke up crappy is all. Ugh, this thing with Rex. Did you know he still sends me money? After all this time! He makes me so frustrated, plus I hit my toe on the brass leg of my chair. I nearly snapped it off! It’s torture standing back there.”
“Oh, must be really crappy to get money you never asked for once a month.”
You sat the dolly down and grabbed the first case on top. “Geeze, I would totally hate getting money...just handed to me..” your voice drew out in a sarcastic tone.
Cindy rolled her eyes back at you. “He still wants me to come to Sunday dinners at Olive’s.”
“Well he always did love his mammy,” you couldn’t help but to giggle at her expression.
“She doesn’t love me, she lets me still work here and all that but...fuck she doesn’t make it easy.”
You didn’t have time to respond before Adie appeared with her face stuck in through a crack at the door.
“Twenty guys just walked in -” she said, her voice quiet but begging too.
Cindy waved her off and walked out. Even over the fans you could hear the high spirited laughter and deep voices, the open and shutting of the front cooler doors, the clink of six packs clanking out the windows. And immediately you were happy that there was only thirty minutes left before closing time.
Products got stacked in their predestined places with little thought. Your mind was far away from this place. There was always the tendency to drift into a daydream at the moment the monotony of everyday life became stagnant. Somewhere on the high seas, the hero of your own story where money and time meant little, where you made the rules, and felt satisfied.
You continued to dream as you walked out of the cooler, dolly in hand, eyes straight forward as they moved to places on the shelves that needed a bottle or two replaced. You paid little mind to the men there, who spoke softly with the beat of music across the street humming through the liquor store walls.
Weaving around them with the dolly, you hardly notice their eyes casually glancing at your body as you pass them by. It was like any other Saturday, the men included with their minuscule unprovoked attention. Their movements within the store are meaningless, your mind was set on the last fifteen minutes until closing. That bottle of clear rum called to you like the couch, like the bag of chips in your pantry and the show you had been putting off to catch up on all week. You were ready to just be off.
The dolly and you pause near the front door where the bags of ice laid within the stand up freezer. You opened the door, palmed the frozen cubes through the plastic and decided with the cooler weather you wouldn’t have to bag anymore tonight.
Cindy said your name over the top of the men passing comments back and forth to each other.
“I’m nearly done. I’m locking the back door.” you shouted over your shoulder and began to take off again, dolly in tow toward the second part of the store. Wine bottles stuffed together on rickety shelves clinked with the vibration of the music.
“Okay but that’s not what I was talking about- Come here.”
You kept going with the dolly. “I’ll be right back!”
So you rolled it back there, just inside the first trailer and walked back. Finally you take the time to look at the faces of the four or five men on the other side of the counter. One of them was Sy. And you stopped short of coming into the main part of the store.
“Hey! They are having a party up on the hill!” said Cindy excitedly.
Her giddiness elicits a smile from you. But it was short lived as Sy turned from the counter as you took a few steps near. His large body leaned on his right arm on top of the counter, he stretched out a leg and his other hand held his wrist. A lazy stance but one with purpose that said he was open to friendly banter.
“A gathering of sorts. The boys have returned.” Sy added.
“Boys? From college?” you assumed, it was fall after all, maybe the semester was over and these boys were younger cousins.
Adie at the other register next to Cindy laughed. Another one of the men was leaned completely over on his crossed arms looking at Adie. But she was looking at you. “No it’s the -”
“It’sa time for family to return home.” said Sy. “Usually the men take off ‘til they’re late thirties, they come back, help out with the land, home life and settle down.”
“Are ya’ll..is this a religious thing?” you asked.
Most of them laughed, even the men down by the beer, but not you or Cindy. Sy only smiled.
“Nah, it’s more like a reunion.”
Cindy crossed her arms over her chest, a few fingers played with the ends of her hair. “Hey you still got that bottle at home? Maybe you and I can catch up on that show and drink at your place!” asked Cindy.
Still thinking about their laughter, maybe it was an inside joke you weren’t privy too. But Cindy’s sudden shift from barely contained excitement to attempting to trash the idea all together grated your nerves. “I thought you were trying to go to this?”
“We can do something else. I got my toe to think about.”
At the mention of Cindy’s stupid toe your eyes went back to Sy.
“After we shut down, we’ll start over there...where is it?”
The car radio mumbled a tune under Cindy’s constant talking.
“I can’t believe you didn’t know Sy was your neighbor.”
“I’m not nosey.” you threw in, keeping your eyes on the gravel road only illuminated by the headlights of your car.
You do your best to concentrate on the road. But in the pitch black your mind makes shadows in the spaces between bare mesquite trees, vines creeping over the fences that line either side of the gravel back road. Your eyes sweep back and forth for sleek bodies of deer that would dare dart out. It doesn’t matter that you are driving the forty mile an hour speed, you were careful every time you drove this way to go home.
And as you passed the dirt driveway to your home an ache sets in. The kind that wants to be in your own environment with your own things. You even glance back through the driver side window, checking for the front porch light and wondering if the house missed you too.
“I don’t want to see Rex. But I know he’ll be there.” Cindy’s whining cut into your thoughts.
“Then stay away from him.”
“I can try but he won’t listen.” she added, once again usurping another opinion.
Before you know it Cindy was waving her hand to the left. “It’s right there, the turn in - with those big wooden gates.”
It was open as you turned on to the driveway, though not much better than the actual road. Passing through them, they curved over the wide path, carved into them looked like animals, dogs maybe you weren’t sure.
“Are they rich?”
Cindy unbuckled her seat belt and popped down the viser, flipped open the mirror and squinted when the light hit her eyes. “Ya.” she said, running a finger underneath her eyelid. “They all are.”
You drove further, even here the sides of the driveway were just as wild as the road you had turned off of. Though the gravel seemed sparse and gave way to the reddish orange dirt known for this area. Soon you were much closer in a short amount of time, you could see the house - if one could call it that. What you could see from your house was deceiving. That white house, looking now, was merely a metal garage. The mansion was large, spacious, across the land with timber embedded length wise to wooden planks running long. A cabin? A huge cabin fit for at least twenty or more people. And the cars that lined in front and down the driveway could certainly accommodate just that.
“Oh ya they are rich, god damn.” you whispered and pulled off near the garage.
You drove to the nearest light, half way between the garage and this big house. But as you came closer it wasn’t electrical, it was a torch made of a stack of stones topped with flames. Your eyes moved past Cindy who was still adjusting her hair and makeup to the house, all the lights outside were made of fire.
“An upclass kegger?” you laughed and put the car in park.
“No they aren’t stuck up like that. Really, they seemed to be good people.” Cindy started to say something else but shrugged.
She looked at you, “Ready?”
You sighed and resided yourself to just get it over with. Walking toward the house, you did feel a bit better, now that the drive was over you could look forward to an exit.
Cindy walked ahead of you, grateful to let her take the lead you let her. And she walked straight for the large front doors with more dogs carved into the dark wood. Suddenly you were aware of the air around you, it was different from the natural smell down by your house. It smelled of the flora you walked through, even the timber that made up the house. Which only seemed to blend into the trees around it, even the front door was flanked by two small trees, stripped down to bare wood and made to be part of the architecture.
She didn’t even have to open it, before you realized what was happening a woman popped out. Tall, with long brown hair was throwing her arms around Cindy’s neck. She pulled her into the house with you trailing behind.
“I can’t believe you’re here!” shouted the woman. “Rex!!” she yelled again as you shut the door behind you.
The woman turned back over her shoulder toward you, “You brought a friend! Please make yourself at home!” The woman let go of Cindy and opened another set of doors set into thick wood. Past the glass on either side of them movement could be seen. She pushed them in and stepped into a stone and wood foyer. You continued to follow but quickly your eyes were pulled into this grand living room the likes you had never seen. It stopped you.
Your eyes were drawn to the large wooden columns of logs that gave way to an open layout that seemed to stretch to the sky peaking through a large window on the ceiling. Further in, the second story could be seen resting on more logs but that wasn't the focal point. Among the wood, and branches stood a rock at least twelve feet tall, carved in such a way it almost looked like the outside of a den or cave. Men sat around it upon cushions of leather or fur in deep conversation and acted like they didn’t even see you. So your eyes moved from then to the lip of this rocky monument where sat a clay bowl, burning with a fire within it.
“What the fuck is this place…” you whispered.
“The drinks are over there,” called the woman. She was far away, at the entryway of another room just off from this rock. She gestured into the room she and Cindy walked into. But you were still gazing, amazed even because beyond this rock were a row of double glass doors, swung open with soft music being played outside.
Cindy called your name, finally you walked over to join her in what looked to be another sitting room but it was so much more than that, you just couldn’t name it. Wood followed into this room too, and stone. There were people in here as well, some crowded around a large bowl full of something blue.
Cindy dipped a glass ladle into, poured it into a glass and then handed it to you. She did the same for herself, but before you could really ask her anything a bellowing hoot came from behind you.
A man with dark hair came walking fast toward you, but glancing at Cindy, her face pale mouth open in a gasp took a step back. The man she did not want to see, Rex.
More people turned, some laughed and others nodded in his direction as he closed in on Cindy.
“Hey I’m going out there, if you need me. That’s where I’ll be okay.” you said softly.
Cindy only nodded and then at once Rex grabbed her in a hug. That was your mark to leave, and you did so happily.
You followed the sound of deep crooning vocals from beyond the row of doors. More people, perhaps the last addition to the silent count in your head made for thirty people in total you had seen were sat around. Again, square cushions lined the rails of the balcony, dotted out from there encircled a man with the black satin sky as a backdrop behind him.
It felt communal in nature, some shit you might have seen on television about cults and how they huddle together, think the same, do the same. But as you observed their faces, they listened to the music, though spoke to whoever was near them. It seemed benign. Though this was the middle of nowhere, Texas, what use would have a home like this? Who lived here?
You gazed at the man for a moment as you moved to the other end of the balcony. It seemed bigger than your own home with its little two bedrooms, and small living room. And it certainly did not have a view like this. In the dark, it wasn’t truly vast blackness, stars peppered the sky like fireflies, the nearly full moon cast a pale pearly light upon the land.
“See anything you like?” said a voice from behind you.
Sy was there, drink in hand and a friendly toothless smile. He cleaned up, he didn’t smell like the smoke from the pits at the park any longer, the cap he had on was gone and dark hair bundled in loose curls around his ears and neck.
“It’s beautiful here.”
Sy’s eyes moved from you to the scene over your shoulder. He nodded knowingly, his jaw tightened and sagged, like he was biting down on a thought and then blinked back at you.
“Not as beautiful as you.”
You were unamused and it showed across your face. Sy’s expression grew serious, simply staring at you before taking a drink.
Sy stepped closer to your left and stood near, he smacked his lips. “You’ll get used to it.” he said and turned his head toward you.
“Used to what? Was that a flirt?” you asked, finally beating back embarrassment you turned your body and leaned against the balcony.
“I’m not great at flirting.” Sy dipped in close, looking into your eyes, and spoke softly, “I call them like I see them.”
He stood straight again, “So how long have you been in our small town?”
The song changed, a few people called out requests before the man started singing again. You watched the people, buying time before you decided upon an answer.
“I’ve been here for about 5 months now.”
“Did it take you long to find a place?” he quickly asked back. “Not like there’s a lot to pick from.”
“Actually, I’m buying the land right down the road from here. The price was right.”
“The Grove house. I know it.”
“Yeah?”
“It used to be a part of this land, the caretaker’s house, but a few generations back we let them buy it from the family. Everything okay with the house?”
“It’s a great home. I didn’t have to do much to it. But there’s a dead tree stump at the far corner of the house.”
“I’ll come by tomorrow.”
You shook your head like you were trying to throw off his good offer. This was all so strange, the house, this land, the feeling in your gut and now this.
You finished the drink off, spilled some of it down your chin as you quickly tried to deflate his offer.
“No, no--that’s not necessary.”
“Hey we’re neighbors now. I’m home, I want to help you.”
You wanted to say no one more time but your voice loses its intensity with the sound of a woman yelling. Cursing, Cindy strode past the doors, her eyes roaming the dark and then stopping on people and looking some more before she finally landed on you.
Quickly she walked over to you, held your arms and ignored Sy complete. “Please, can you take me home.” her voice cracked.
“What’s going on?”
“Can you?”
You looked over to Sy, he was eyeing Cindy before he turned his eyes back toward the house. Shouting, low and growing louder you shifted back to Cindy. She was still looking at you, concern settled into her stance as she grew rigid, and stared right into your eyes.
You sighed, “Okay. Fine, let's go home. I’ll take you first.”
Sunday was bright, warmer than usual, but then again it was Texas, the weather seemed to have its own mind. And today it was sunny, with the heat from the sun beating out the cool wind. It made for a pleasant late morning, you weren’t even hung over. The ride back to Cindy’s was quiet, she hardly spoke - not like her. While her silence was worrisome you assumed it was some sort of lovers concern.
The tree in the back had to be dealt with. You figured a few hours of digging around it would yield results. And while it did you were nowhere near getting the four foot wide trunk out of the ground. Squatting down near a deep exposed root, you swung your hatchet, splitting the wood and chipping away at the foundation.
You were sweaty, and tired of using energy best spent making food and sitting in front of the television. Laying the hatchet down you grab a rope and knot it on the end of the cut root. You tugged hard, nothing.
A rumble of a truck pulling up into your driveway didn’t sway your efforts. Planting your feet you hunched over and pulled back harder. It gave a little that time. When you tried to pull again, a pair of gloved hands wrapped around the rope in front of your grip.
It was Sy.
He smiled while plucking at the rope, “Let’s give it a tug.”
His thick arms rubbed against yours, he fixed his stance closer but wider and his thighs brushed against your as the rope wrenched back. He grunts hard, “One more time,”and with another jerk the root comes completely loose from the trunk.
Sy released it and you turned toward him. He was grinning down at the stump, white cotton shirt straining around his large arms with his fingers in the jean loops. “Looks like you’ve done a good job of getting it to surface. I bet I can pop it out for good.”
He backed up his black trunk and made easy work of wrapping a chain around what was sticking out of the ground. You stood near the front of the house and observed him gassing the engine. Within a few minutes the stump cracked as it fell forward in the direction he pulled broken roots and all.
“Thank you!” you said cheerfully. Jumping from the porch you saw Sy lean over into the bed of his truck and retrieve a gas saw. You watched him cut the stump down into slices. You wanted to help afterwards, you even tried to lift one but they had to be at least a hundred pound each.
“I got it.” and without another word, and to your amazement, Sy squatted down and grabbed a piece. He walked a few feet with it, his arms wrapped around the part of the circumference and placed it in the bed.
“If you’re up for a cookless night we are having a family dinner up at the house. Do you want to go get ready?” Sy walked back to you near the wood and grabbed for another piece.
“Right now?”
He lifted it, “Ya. Go wash off or whatever it is beautiful women do. I’ll wait.”
It was evening, the sun was setting when you stepped out of Sy’s truck. Gone was the warm weather in its place mist or fog seemed to grow from the spaces between the trees trunks and branches. Somehow the natural world mimics how you feel inside. There are shadows within you too, hidden by the mists of memories, light displaced by ghostly uncaring hands from the past. You look over to Sy, back straight, head lifted he walks like a leader. And when he turns to you, his eyes blazing some of the haze within you disperses.
Even with his silent acknowledgment that this was the beginning of something new. The lines of cars aren’t ignored.
“Family dinner,huh?” you asked in jest, though left it open for him to explain further.
Sy nodded, a whisper of a smile tugged at the end of his mouth and you suspected the expression was mischievous but you don’t know why he needed to be.
Up the stone steps again, the outside ornate door was wide open though the one behind it was not. He walked forward, pushed it and let you walk in first. It smelled wonderful, food of some sort, meat and the fragrance of leather and wood met you.
The grandness of the living room was even more so in the evening light. The feeling of being within a tree, or a cave did not go unnoticed. Sy grabbed your hand, surprised by this subtle gesture you allowed him to hold you, guide you toward a room that was closed the night before. The distant hum of voices grew louder once he opened the door. You wanted to stop and take in the space, the living room was but a glimpse-- this room was for kings.
The entire space was timber walls, stone flooring with three low-height long tables running horizontal in this great rectangle of carpentry. The furthest wall was lined with large windows which offered the view of the tree country valley and everything of god’s creation. Bowls of food, trays of hot delights steamed up into the air looking like smoke in the dying light. The people surrounding the tables, had to be at least a dozen each. And Sy continued to walk along the side he came to the head of the first table, and nodded to those who waved at him. Their voices hushed with his approach to the middle table, he brought you to the second empty seat where you sat on the leather cushion. He took his place at the head, eyes wide at the selection, the prestige of this room you looked to him confused.
“The pack is back together!” called Sy. And at once the room bellowed with hoots and howls.
“In a few short hours we will celebrate the beginnings of a new generation!”
Another round of hollering and calling waved across the crowd. “Eat!” announced Sy. And with that the yelling died down and the clutter of silverware filled the hall.
You stared at the fried chicken mounded up in a tray, and then to the more than rare steak to the left. A heap of corn on the cob with a tiny bowl of butter was quickly taken and passed across the table.
You turned to Sy, he had already filled his plate with what looked like brisket, a few ribs and yellow potato salad.
“What are you celebrating?” you asked, and without looking up he spoke while chewing.
“The return,” he shrugged and grabbed a rib and began to eat again.
Not wanting to stick out, quickly you filled your plate with whatever was close and took small bites while glancing down the table and around the room.
Cindy wasn’t too far away. Surprised because of yesterday's turn of events, you waved, and she returned it with an ecstatic smile. She leaned in next to Rex who gnawed on a chicken leg. Your eyes moved from her with a bite of a roll, to the carving on the wall behind Sy.
The scene depicted there seemed to flow from one transition to the other. First a man, walking through trees, and then he knelt before a great dog. “Who made that?” you asked and took a sip of ice cold sweet iced tea.
Sy looked over his shoulder, he grabbed a rag and whipped his mouth and beard. “It’s a family heirloom.” said Olive who sat across the table next to Rex.
“It’s over two hundred years old. It was one of the first things created here.” added Sy.
Your eyes turned back to the raised carving. “This house is that old?”
“Older really.” chimed in Olive.
“This homestead is a testament to family, loyalty, and resilience.”said another, a woman. The same tall brunette from the previous night.
“So..this is a reunion hall or something?”
Sy shook his head. “This is my home. And also the place our pa-family meets. It sits on three hundred acres of protected land. Throughout there are other homes, not as big --for families who return. Generational homes..passed down.”
“Like my house?” you asked.
“No, that was a gift to the caretaker. His loyalty was never seen of his kind before. It’s a shame he passed away and his family let that land go.” said Olive.
“It’s in good hands now.” added Sy, who picked up the pitcher of tea and refilled your glass.
Your attention laid upon the faces of strangers eating. “These people are your family?”
Sy sat the pitcher down, “Might as well be.”
Confusion spread across your face, “I’m sorry but,” you put your fork down and looked at Sy. “Okay, these people aren’t your family? But this is a family home?” You looked behind you searching for older faces besides Olive and found none. “What about your parents? Do you have siblings?”
Some of the noise lowered with your secession of questions. Maybe you hit a nerve, but there were other women who looked to you as well. “Ya, I came with Jack,” the tiny young woman nudged the man’s ribs to her left. “So many secrets,” she giggled.
Sy cleared his throat before he spoke. “My parents were killed when I was about twelve. I was raised by Olive. This home belonged to my mother and the land to those who resided here.”
“But why?”
“It was originally a colony.”
“Oh,” you supposed that made sense for the times. But in today’s world...you weren’t sure, strange.
Dinner ended with the men and their dates leaving the hall. Though you did see a few women and men stay behind to clean. You walked next to Sy, out of the rows of double doors to the balcony. At the right stairs looking like they were unfinished from a whole piece of a tree. You followed him down them, winding along the edge of the balcony the stone column holding it up to the bottom.
The only patch of treeless land was not far from the home. Out there night had descended into the orange moon slowly rising into the sky. Your eye was drawn to an equally fiery color of flames licking the cool night air.
“What a pretty full moon!” a woman’s voice said softly from the crowd.
“Not quite,” said Sy.
You were standing next to him, watching him gaze at the fire. It cracked and spit sparks near you before he began to speak once again.
“This is a special night.” he lifted his head and spoke loudly toward the people and you. “A homecoming.”
Sy’s fingers pulled at the hem of his shirt and yanked it over his head and then junked it into the fire. You stepped back and looked at the faces of the men. They did the same, each one, to the shock of the partner standing next to them.
From the dark a woman approached, gray hair, wrinkled heavily around her eyes and mouth. She carried a stone bowl the same color as the long thick dress she wore.
Oh shit.
“This is a cult.” you whispered and took another step back. Sy pulled you back by your wrist.
He mumbled at first, you thought he was speaking again but you didn’t understand the words. They seemed to rhyme and flow in the same pattern, like a chant.
Your attention was back on the woman, she drank long from the bowl, she stepped to the edge of the fire, something within you felt danger that if she stood any closer her dress would catch fire.
Her saggy cheeks were full, she leaned back and spit the liquid into the fire. The burst hit the flames, a scream from within the crowd crawled up from the howls from the men. The area was blanketed in smoke and sparks. The thick charred hot mist forced its way into your nose and down your throat. You tried to run but Sy now held you from the back. Craving fresh air you sucked in and gulped down any that was available.
“What is this!” You yelled through a scream that tasted of blood.
“The beginning.” he whispered into your ear.
Your legs buckled and Sy allowed you to hit the hard dead grass.
The smoke parted, maybe your eyes deceived you but the woman there, the smoke trailed into their mouths and nose.
“You lovely ladies might be wondering what all this means.” his voice was low, thick with a delightful litany. His eyes were wide as he stared at each one. “Well, for us it’s about family, always has been. And for you, tonight, it’s the start of the rest of your life.”
Sy began to pace half way around the fire and then back to you. He shoved a thumb into his chest, “I’m the Alpha prime in these parts, and this here is my pack. They’ve brought you here tonight, they have chosen you.”
From your place on the ground, through the yellow tops of flames, Sy turned his eyes to you. “I have chosen you.”
At the sting of his words you fell back and twisted with pain. Something hard and beating thumped through your chest and traveled down your muscles to your belly. As soon as the wave crested you scrambled away from the deafening screams of women behind you. Trampling through the grass it hit you again. You stood against it, huddled and hunched over your own scream called out into the night.
Sy was there, you smelled him before he even touched you. The pain rescinded with his touch but you resisted him pulling you toward him, you kicked at his legs even though in his hands made you felt whole somehow.
“Stop!” you screamed but he held tighter, his hands traveled up your arms and held your face. He forced you to tilt your head and met his eyes. A honey colored ripple flashed over the dark blown out pupil invisible waves of spread out from your eyes down your body. It was inexplicable, with his gaze you calmed to his touch, you gave in.
Sy pulled you back to him, even though the sweater you wore the heat from his skin penetrated the fabric and so to your senses as well. He was in front of you but within you too, somehow you could feel him in your blood.
“First rut!” shouted Sy up to the sky. Howls issued back, the sound whirling and ringing in your ears.
“Alphas!” Sy dragged you by the wrist for you to follow, blurry eyes stared up at the house.
“Claim your mate!”
You entered the house in a flurry of groggy blinks and disconnected images. Flashes of wolves carved deep in stone, the sweat of dripping down Sy’s neck, his arms around you ushering you here and there. The smell of him got stronger down a dark hall, you tried to faint then, so overcome with the tearing in your groin you wanted to die. You wanted to give up and surrender to what could only be a slow death. But Sy, ever ready, pushed you, his presences gave you strength to continue over the threshold of a room.
If not for your own breathing the cries throughout the house might have scared you. Death seemed plausible though; how hard could a heart beat this way without dying? Never mind the terrible screams, the violent fits of rage that seemed to float through the wood and enter your mind. You were dying, right?
You clutched the wooden end-board as Sy stripped you naked. He maintains the closeness during, holding his chest near your back, a hand over your belly as he pulls the shirt over your head. He pressed his lips to your neck the sensation wracked your spine seizing it in an arch to meet his naked length.
“I smell you…” he whispered and jerked you around. “I want to rip you a part.” he growled then quickly kissed you.
You let him take. You let him feel and run his hands all the way down your back. Whatever this was, it reacted to his touch, left you breathless and sucking in air too.
“But I won’t,” his hands were back at your face, his teeth nipped your lips as he spoke between bites. “I promise, I’ll control myself baby.”
He turned you back around, with a hand forced you to bend over and without another word he pushed into you. Wet wasn’t the word for it, the moment he hit bottom you felt the warmth roll down your thigh. Sy gripped your hips, pulled out and then snapped your ass back to him.
The invasion bruises you, it forces you to stretch around him. When you start to cry Sy stalls. He slipped from you, held you close from behind and directed you to the side of the bed. “Shush, hush, baby..” he whispered.
He fell to the bed with you, on top of you already positioned between your legs before the tears could start up again. “Put your arms around my neck okay,”
You felt heavy all over but you did as he said. Sy smiled and kissed you as he pulled your hands up over his arms and sank back into you. “There’s my girl..” he said on a pant. He buried his face in the crook of your neck, licking, tasting you his tongue swirled over the bit of skin just below your ear.
“We felt just right,” he groaned.
It felt like hours, the constant prodding, the grinding into you, his skin slapped against yours undoing you from within. You had never come down so hard on the sensation in your life. Holding on to him tight he pounded into you, his teeth scraped your skin until he bit down. Something more, larger entered into you at the base of his cock, you shouted out as he tightened his jaws. His legs and hips pushed you further up the bed with the shaking of his body. Sy lifted up his head, finally you could see his face, the ripple of yellow rolled over his eyes, his face contorted into some ungodly beast.
Horror filled you, with the roar he let loose. You were fading though, the fear became thin with the steady beating of your heart. Your arms fell from him, his face returned to what you remembered. You laid there with him still inside. Sy’s face turned down to you, lovingly he kissed your lips, your chin, your cheek. A satisfied growl carried from his chest, long and vibrating it soothed you to shut your eyes. It sounded like a dog...
No, a wolf.
The men in your life before were easy to pin down who they were. Too loud, and their words gave them away. Too greedy, and their needs, their time was above your own. They took too much and gave very little. Their faces and their warmth are nothing to compare to the man now laying at your side.
You were a single child of single children. No extended family, passed friendly close acquaintances. Which many were brought into the fold because of childhood parties, work friends, but none could offer the connection of family. Sy offered this. A wild beginning for certain. But lying in a bed softer than clouds, his scent covering your body like the finest of tissue paper brushing across your skin but never truly feeling its weight.
Naked as the day you were born, your lids crack open, the light coming in was muddled with mist diffusing into the room as a constant drizzly morning. Sy’s arm was around your waist and when you turned your head his eyes were already open too, watching you, studying the sleepiness across your face.
“I'm so tired...what did you do to me?”
His arms squeezed around you, holding you securely but you didn’t think of it as a vice, “Our kind is meant to be sleeping now. It’s our first rut...it can be exhausting.”
Your mind searched for the meaning. Rut, it was something you had heard from hunters. When creatures mated..it was a time for animal reproduction. “Rut?”
Sy folded his other arm under his head, his blue eyes with one freckled stare at you steady.
“Babe, you were changed for the better. The boys, a few females are wolves around here.”
You sat up fast, that was a mistake for your body felt heavy. “Wolves?”
“Our people have been around for as long as there have been men.” said Sy staring up at you. “It’s a gift most would say, a curse for others.” And he rolled over on his back and threaded his fingers over his stomach.
“Which is it?”
“It’s an honor.”
“How is this even real? I don’t understand…”
“The world isn’t black and white, this isn’t the movies.”
“So..I’m changing..into what?”
“You are the Omega prime here, I don’t recon you’ll change like me but you are this. Once you see and allow your nature to come through you will understand my love.”
You pull the covers up closer hoping that somehow it would protect you from the truth. “I’m changing into a wolf??”
Sy chuckled lightly and pinched the bridge of his nose as he spoke. “No, you’re a vessel.”
“I don’t want that.”
Suddenly Sy sat up and moved his large bulky body toward you while pulling the sheet from you and sitting directly across you.
He looked you into the eyes, “It’s too late for that.”
The aches in your body, the creaking in your joints were reactivated under his gazing. Without thinking you stretched out a hand and grazed it over his shoulder and down his arm. There was no use fighting it, that feeling was beginning to churn and flex under your skin again.
You fell back to the pillow, you can’t stand even your own skin. It itched, it pulled around your muscles in a way you had never felt before. His scent enveloped you, permeating, it sinks into your pores. You could smell him more now, as if the volume of this sense turned up to zero you could even scent his cock and craved what was within it. You wanted to hunt, you wanted to run, to provide...what the fuck?
Sy unfolded your legs and laid his hips between them. “Baby, you’re sweating again. You need me. If you go for too long..you need it.”
Shaking your head while wrapping your hands around his neck your voice trembled out, “I don’t.”
His big hands buried between your body and the bed and gripped your ass. “You do...” And pushed inside of you. Every inch that sank your mouth stretched open.
“My little omega is wet for me,”
The words didn’t make sense but they rang true for your body. It was dirty and confusing but it made you want to be good for him. You shut your mouth, moaned as you did so and nodded.
Sy began to thump, a smile maybe pulled at the corner of his mouth but his eyes remained serious. “That’s it…”
“I knew you would be a perfect fit..” he groaned too, hitting bottom. “Take my knot so well, love.”
“It--it hurt.” you mumbled.
Sy kissed you lightly, his expression turned to concern, “I know love, it’s supposed to at first.” he grunted and began to slap against you harder. “Just a tight omega..”
The longer he thrusted the more the base of his cock began to thicken. He bounced against you testing the width with each jab until he was forcing it in and out of you. “See..” he hissed and laid his head against your shoulder. Sy’s tongue licked around the marks on your next sending shudders to your core. Gasping, heart thumping his rubbing from within on your clit burst the sweet ache from within.
“That’s my girl..” he whispered. Sy rose up, grabbed your wrists, pinned you down and fucked you harder.
His knot entered you completely as he stilled on top of you. In the light of a dreary day his face flashed once again of the hound he hides within. His grip tightened and this time you did not give in to the sleepiness. Sy collapsed, still holding your wrists but dragged them higher as to settle in. His hips continued with small well intended prods.
He lifted his head and stared down at you. “Do you feel it?”
His cock laid within you thick and heavy. He moved a bit and couldn't pull out. “That’s me inside of you. I did this last night, but you passed out. I fucked you all night. Do you remember it?”
Now it made sense, the aches and pains. “I had you about six times.” he said while still slowly moving his hips. He rolled his eyes back barely containing the ecstasy in his voice. “I’m filling you.”
Your purpose unfolded within your bones, spread to your muscles as warmth from the sun would. A sweet burn, one that felt ancient and destined. The life you had before shed from you as you nodded toward him. You are his, it felt right and true.
When his hands left your wrist you understood that he had brought you into his life. As he held your face and poured into you, there was no other person he loved more.
“Just a little more,” he said and began to peck your cheeks again. He appeared relaxed and with it so did you. He rubbed your hair, cuddled into you no longer moving his hips. “We’re going to make so many beautiful children together.”
Maybe with him and this strange new way, that your life before could mean more now because it brought you to this moment. Gently you caressed his face down to his beard and carefully kissed him back. Sy grinned as he pushed back on your lips.
“I’m going to take care of you,” said Sy.
Out of the shower you walk out with Sy naked once again. Water dripped down your breasts and to the floor you couldn’t shake the fact that this house felt like outside. Or maybe it was nature itself that had been invited in. You felt it here more than in any other place. The sense of being at peace, at being at home. Sy’s footfalls are never far from you. Like air, like sunlight too.
“This is --” you said sitting on the bed. “I feel odd. Like I feel you or this house..I’m not sure how to explain it.”
Sy handed you a towel and began to dry his body off. “Bonding.” he said while rubbing his dick and then his thighs.
You stood up once again, and started to dry off. “You’re my mate. This home was built by my family, it means something.”
His words swallowed your thoughts as you stared at him for a moment. Sy walked to the closet in the far corner, he pulled out a few pieces of clothing and started to dress. “I’ve got stuff in here for you too babe.” and motioned for you to follow.
“How?”
“We still have the keys to that little house you’re buying. I had them move some of your clothes here while we were eating dinner last night.”
He leaned over and pecked your head. You walked to the closet and pulled on the long sleeve shirt, and held the sweat in your hands. You grabbed some faux sheepskin fleece boots too.
“Over there,” he pointed near the bed to a large ornate dresser. “Your socks and things.”
You finished dressing as Sy walked from the bathroom, his curls were tamed for the time as he fanned his fingers through them. “Just try and let it happen, okay? The more you fight it, the longer it takes.”
“You brought me here! You drugged me and now you just want me to accept this?”
Sy shrugged, “It’s always been this way.” He stepped up to you and the connection hummed at his fingertips that lightly grazed the skin around your mark. “I know you feel wronged. I’m sorry I took you. But this is your home now, it would only upset the baby if you kept fighting against this.”
Your head snapped back, “Baby?” You touched your stomach, a reflex really.
“There will be soon.” he smiled and brought you back to his face, “We need to--” but he stopped suddenly and sniffed the air. “Wait here.”
Purely out of the concern in his voice you did as he said. But there was more, it was in your bones and you followed out the door anyway. Loud voices carried across the space. At once within the hallway the smell of rot hit your nose. Maggoty things sprang to mind, decay and plunder of flesh flashed across your mind. Sy continued around the second story, and you followed passed busts of brass faces and more pelts lining the inside wall. Despite the sunny rays pouring over dark wood from above and falling down onto the stone monument below, the air felt rancid.
Passed an adjacent hallway, and another few closed doors you saw the source of the fretful talking. Rex turned his head from the railway overlooking the first floor up to Sy. He paced away from it back to the door behind him, he looked in, his eyes wide he did not stop staring within. Sy stopped next to him, you saw him turn his head and peer in too. You followed suit, with your eyes adjusting to the light blazing in from three giant windows. Within the bed laid a woman upon her back, arms half moved like a crooked doll her eyes were open staring blankly up at the ceiling.
She was the source, your stomach turned and you stepped forward. Sy held you by the arm. But she did not look decomposed, but the smell wafted up to you anyways. “Cindy!”
You moved again but was still held back, “Wait love.” asked Sy quietly.
“She didn't--” Rex was crying as he spoke. “..the transformation..she.”
There was an end, clearly somewhere within this concoction of mystical smoke people could die. Women met their end.
Olive approached from the other side of Rex, she crossed her arms and stared within the room disappointed. “You know what needs to be done Rex.” her aged voice cracked in the middle, executing the order while dealing compassion was never her strongest trait.
“She just died!” you yelled.
Olive stayed level as she spoke to Sy. “You don’t want the old God after us, Alpha Prime. You are that now, tonight will make it official. You must do it.”
“She has a family! They will look for her!” you turned around and shouted at Olive.
Olive seemed to cave into your voice as she turned her head shakily toward you. “I know her mother, sisters. If they come asking questions I’ll handle it.” She released a breath, steadied herself against Rex and looked back to Sy.
“When’s the last time you knelt to an Omega Prime?” he asked Olive. She frowned, and it looked like she was biting the inside of her lip and averted her eyes back to the room. “Half the day is gone.” said Sy. “Tonight is the run..we need to do this just after dark.”
“So that’s it!” your voice came out as little more than a whisper. “You kill her? Now you’re going to hid-”
Sy whipped you around stared right into your eyes, the color in them shifted. They emitted authority down upon you to the point you were left speechless. His jaw relaxed and with it an almost soothing growl followed, but you broke through you attempted to turn your eyes. But he grabbed you by the arms, made you gaze back at him. He began to growl low, not threatening, you felt the anger within you plummet.
“Now that you’re calm, listen. She has received the gift but her soul did not take to it. If we do not dispose of the body properly...”
Sy let you go and turned his eyes back to the room. “Let’s just say they haven’t had a dark soul in this area in a generation.”
Already the house smelled better, though cold with every window now wide open, the older women went about shutting them again. A small thin woman with silver hair eyed you as she walked passed you toward the kitchen.
“There’s still breakfast left.” she said softly. “Just for you, miss.”
You muddled over her comment for a minute. You were starving but the idea of eating after finding Cindy dead was pulling at your ethics. She turned at the door to the kitchen and waved you in. You relented to the hunger.
Within the kitchen it was busy, with women and men going about preparing food. A giant stone island had six people surrounding it chopping up onions, tomatoes and other things you didn’t get a good look at. The woman returned to you with a plate of toast, a giant pile of scrambled eggs, bacon and glass of orange juice and motioned for you to sit at the last seat near a young girl who was crushing saltine crackers into a giant bowl.
You ate quickly, said nothing as their conversation picked back up with the arrival of this woman. She had to be about ninety, she commanded the kitchen, ordered people with soft words but stern looks if they back talked her instructions.
“Well no one else is gunna say it.” said a woman from the other side of the counter. She had curly brown hair, jagged eyebrows that gave her the permanent expression of agitation. “So how does it feel to be the Queen of the Den?”
When you bit off from your toast, those talking halted and looked at you, some continued their jobs in silence.
You chewed a couple of times, “I don’t know what that means,” you said with a full mouth.
The woman looked up to the older woman rolling out dough. She scoffed, “Sloan knows how to pick’em.” and rolled her eyes.
With that the old woman banged the roller on the counter and pointed it back at the woman. “Peach! It’s true!”
“I won’t hear it!” said Peach, her soft voice broke into a growl. “Dottie shut that damn big hole in your face!”
“It’s not for you to know how to strengthen the pack.” Peach relaxed back, held the roller between thick knuckles and looked back toward you.
“Sorry about that Prime. I wouldn’t recon young and dumb went hand in hand unless it came to Dottie. She meant no harm.”
You nodded slightly, sat up a bit straighter and continued to eat. Sloan? After all this, you had never known his first name. They returned to work, though Dottie went right back to chatting with the woman next to her. The little girl hummed next to you as she moved to the next sleeve of crackers. And halfway swallowing the orange juice the back door swung open with a man carrying an animal over his shoulder. Sy entered right behind him, the man slammed the carcass on a large prepping table at the back of the large kitchen.
Sy’s gaze never left you as he walked across the kitchen, he slipped in between you and the girl and kissed the top of your head.
“Hey Sloan.” you said under your breath, he pulled back nodded then smiled slightly as he grabbed a few crackers from the table.
“Are you done?” he asked, you plucked the toast from the plate and followed him out the back door.
You walked and walked with Sy. After a few minutes of silence he grabbed your hand and led you away from the house deeper into the land.
“What’s going to happen to Cindy,” you asked quietly.
“At dark there will be a ceremony, she will be buried then.”
He said it matter of fact though it did not set that way with you. But nothing really felt right since you got here. It was just another shocking development after another really. “What kind of ceremony?”
Sy helped you step over a fell tree, “For the turning. She has to be burned before it’s over.”
You tried not to take his callousness to heart. Though it did seem insane to speak of the dead in such a way. It didn’t strike you as hard though. Something within you felt calm about it, like a lasting trust for the man near.
And you didn’t know if it was the walking but you felt sick. At first in your stomach but quickly it grew to aches and cramps in your belly.
“I heard Olive say that,” you said through a twist beginning to gnaw at your back.
“The pack expects it. I’m the Alpha Prime, it is up to me to see that we are safe. And I will do it. I’ll do it till my last breath.”
Sy let go of your hand and wrapped his arm around your back. “This land is for you too,” his hand drifted down your back and settled into the back pocket of your jeans. “I want you to feel at home here.”
When you didn’t respond Sy stopped and forced you to look at him. His fingers stroked your cheek and then with the back of his hand, testing and feeling your claiming skin. “You need me?” he asked.
Shaking your head you pulled from him and walked whatever direction you thought he was going. But you didn’t get far before you doubled over.
Sy was there, near you making you stand up and lean on him. “Come on, there’s a cabin near. It should be vacant for a few hours.”
“We can’t just use someone’s home-” you winced.
He made you walk with him again, “It's not. Call it a lookout, there are other things out here a lot more dangerous than the occasional coyote.”
You huddled into him, sweating and whining as he walked you down the path where a small house came into view. He helped you up the stairs feeling the wetness building between your thighs. And as soon as you got in it he was on you. “We barely made it in here love.” he said between kisses. His hands quickly grabbed and tugged at your pants as he walked you toward a patchy couch.
His nose dragged from your neck, your breasts with his fingers pulling at the top of your jeans. You didn’t fight him when he pushed you down. You didn’t say a word when he used your jeans and underwear as a way of holding your legs up and close to your chest. Exposing your glistening pussy, Sy pulled himself out and entered you immediately. Bare upper thighs, Sy’s hands held you there allowing the pants to continue to restrain your legs.
“Do I really want this? Or is it something else?” you moaned as he pumped fast.
Your eyes rolled back, “Feels so good.” you whispered as he thumped harder.
“It's real,...you belong to me.” Sy leaned in crushing you more with his weight and size. He sucked hard and fanned breath down to you as he huffed, “Always have…the smoke wouldn’t have taken if it weren’t true.”
“You,” he pushed in with every word, “..belong to me.”
“They live in the fog,” Sy said and pointed toward the dark patches between trees.
You were right to be afraid, not of them though, for you had seen these on your first ride up here. In the car with a chatty Cindy you had told yourself it was only an illusion. Perhaps the fear was of yourself, the ignorance, the lack of connection to worlds thought to be of lore that were closer than you thought.
“Who are they?” you asked while walking closer to Sy. The open woods felt smaller now, what other beings existed out in the wild?
“Sprites, small gods.” he said, looking forward again. “B’careful and never ask anything of them. They crave warmth at the best of times, they like to hang around bodies. But if you speak to them it’sa chance for them to get inside of you.”
You said nothing after that, wide eyes continued to search the trees recognizing more hazy emotionless faces than before with each step. Light from the torches grew brighter, illuminating the dark and with it the beings faded with the touch of heat.
You entered the area lined with thick wooden torches topped with fire. The other alphas followed behind with their mates and little was said among them. The crack of the fires to the cold of the night was the only sound that really interrupted the moment.
Sy and you stood just within the entry of this circle of flames, one after the other one alpha with his mate took their spots around the center. Built of wood like a stage and on top - a body shrouded in white, it reminded you of something you had only seen in the movies, a funeral pyre. Rex stepped close to the structure, his head pointed toward it, the flicker of shadows and light play down his back and over his head. The shiny beads, things that looked like round coins hung and clinked together in the gust of frigid wind.
You didn’t look away until you felt Sy step away. He was behind you, unhooking the handle of the torch from the pole. And he stared toward it, walked past you and flung the torch into the brush skirting the pile.
The moment it caught fire something twisted within your gut and chest. At first it felt like guilt, a pang across the muscles in your chest but it persisted. It burst to life in your senses from your lungs and spread out to the tips of your fingers and toes. You heard screaming, light quips of moans from the other women. When you looked around they too were grabbing their chests at the same time you hunched over. Standing there in sparse dead grass, you tried to steady yourself, bracing the air but nothing came to your aid. It buckled your knees. Whatever this was swept through you in waves of pain and knowing. You weren’t sure of anything, but it felt okay, that all of this wouldn’t last.
The wood cried as flames engulfed the bottom tier completely. And with it, the very atmosphere around you snapped and spit energy you’ve never felt before. Low growling from all around but the loudest, the longest comes from your side. You look up from the ground to Sy. Teeth bared through his thick beard his brows were pulled tight, the angles of his features once again exaggerated into something not human. You stared horrified when he began to claw at his chest, his fingers were not his own, they were long, gnarly and tipped with long nails. The yell from his mouth was an ear splitting soul shaking screech that shook your spirit.
With the crack of bones, his skin sloughs off long black fur, the floppy bits hit the ground and immediately sank in and became fertile ground that sprouted green grass. His legs grew long and bulky and snapped back like that of a dog. He grew taller, bigger with a wolf's snout and face.
Suddenly a shriek from the fire rang above the growling and howling around you. Upon the pyre the fire had reached Cindy, but she wasn’t laying there any more. Her body stood, claws ripped through the sheet as it too caught fire. You stared up at it hopelessly, panting hard your heart thumping at an inhuman speed, part of you gave up in the wake of this. You sat there unable to fight the buckling and rebirth of your senses.
Cindy’s body lept from the toppling pyre toward you. No time to react or run something large stepped between you and it. A man screamed from your right, he was in the middle of changing to. Rex stepped toward it with his face shifting in and out of human and wolf and tried to grab the thing by its arm.
The sheet had burned and melted into what was once Cindy’s face. Its jaw opened long, stretching pieces of fabric and skin across its dark mouth and shrieked. The thing swiped at Rex, slicing through his skin to the white of his flesh across his neck, chest and belly. Blood splashed into the air and to the ground. He crumpled to the ground, dead before he even touched it. And when Cindy’s body turned back toward you something suddenly impaled her chest straight back into the fire, pinning her there until the families consumed her completely.
It was quiet after besides your breathing and the warping of blood in your ears. Sy, now fully transformed, stepped to Rex, picked him up and as gently as he could, placed his body too in the fire next to Cindy.
His feet were large paws that you centered your attention on. Displacing the dirt with every step you refused to pull your eyes up further. And when he knelt down to you, his great big clawed furry hands sat on either side of your body. He nudged the side of your face with his wet nose until you did look up. His eyes were the same, with the ripple of honey across blue that you had seen before. He tilted his head down, rubbed his nose into the palm of your hand until finally you ran your hand over the bridge of his nose, and up into the thick fur between two giant ears.
He pushed his nose into your neck gently before he stood up. Whatever had come over you was quickly dispersing. Though now, after, you smelled more, like a scent had color or flavor that you had never noticed before. The same with your vision, prying your eyes off the newly formed Sy, and glancing at the trees and saw the fog people for who they were. No longer just faces, full bodied apparitions with different clothes and emotions of their own. And your hearing, besides the tiniest movement of creatures, you could sense the footsteps in the ground and in your ears from the direction of the house. However peering through the dark you could see their silhouettes were still quite close to the house.
Sy grunted and you turned back to him. His snout was tilted up toward the sky, sniffing and licking the air. He howled long and loud and the others followed. He turned to you once again, baring his teeth and took off, leaping over the pyre toward the other side of the circle. A sudden rush of the others following their leader joined him and disappeared into the forest.
The hall was packed. Along with the row of three tables that you had seen before, there was another, running diagonal at the top. You sat next to Sy who sat at this table, on the middle cushion, surrounded with the faces you had come to recognize. The new members appeared as you felt, lost perhaps in the fray of the night's ceremony, exhausted too, and probably worried about their new lives. They too most likely felt the pull as well. The fading of what their old lives were being replaced by the energy of family around them.
But even as they and you came to grips with what this new life included cheering erupted throughout the hall. Laughing, and gesturing toward one another as they ate and swapped tales of their adventure in the forest. Yes, this felt like family. Something you weren’t so used to having.
Peach came walking to you and Sy holding a large platter made of wood. She came to your side and slid it into the empty space on the table. On it were slices of meat overlapping in a circle that looked nearly raw with it’s moist flesh, and dark red sauce.
Sy picked one up, he placed it near your mouth. A subtle smile played at the corner of his lips as he urged you to open. You felt the enormity of this moment if you took this bite. This was it, you would be accepting your place here and everything that meant. You stared into his eyes and then took a small bite. The flavor was metallic in your mouth, tangy and fleshy as you chewed. Sy ate the other part. He passed the plate to the next man who did the same with his mate.
He leaned close to you, his nose sniffed your neck back and forth tilting his head slowly. “I think you got a secret.” he whispered, still sniffing you, his nose brushing upon the skin of your jaw.
“I don’t think it’s a secret that this is all weird,” you laughed softly, and picked at your food.
His nose touched your skin again and breathed in deep, “Oh yeah,” his lips caressed the rim of your ear. “You’re pregnant.”
You jerked your head toward him, mouth slightly parted, the words escaping as they formed in your mind. “I will protect you..” he said.
“I will love you ‘til the end of my days.” His fingers glided long the other side of your jaw to your chin. “D’you accept me?” he asked quietly.
The hall had gone quiet. You ignored the weight of their stares. Slowly you stroked his beard and nodded slightly. “I accept you.” you whispered back. And cheering roared.
Part 2
#Black reader#black female reader#x black!reader#dark!syverson#dark!geralt#dark!syverson x black reader#dark!geralt x black reader
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tagged by @herbaklava @timrothencrantz and @wutheringdyke to post my top nine new-to-me watches of the year—thank you all!
in no particular order (l-r, top row to bottom row):
skinamarink (kyle edward ball, 2023)
great freedom (sebastian meise, 2021)
earth mama (savanah leaf, 2023)
nineteen eighty-four (michael radford, 1984)
enys men (mark jenkin, 2022)
marina abramović & ulay: no predicted end (kasper bech dyg, 2022)
paris 5:59: théo & hugo (olivier ducastel and jacques martineau, 2016)
nationtime (william greaves, 1972)
giants and toys (yasuzo masumura, 1958)
while i hit my continual goal of half of the films by women and nonbinary filmmakers, i still definitely need to keep up with deliberately seeking out films by directors of color! tell me your faves if you’ve seen any of these; do we think i can hit 150 titles in 2024? 👀🎬🍿🎥
i'll tag @sightofsea / @lesbiancolumbo / @nelson-riddle-me-this / @draftdodgerag / @edwardalbee / @majorbaby / @radioprune / @glennmillerorchestra / @deadpanwalking and anyone else who'd like to do this!
my full watchlist is included under the cut, favorites of the year are bolded in red:
The Final Exit of the Disciples of Ascensia (Jonni Phillips, 2019)
Nothing Bad Can Happen (Katrin Gebbe, 2013)
Dive (Lucía Puenzo, 2022)
The Menu (Mark Mylod, 2022)
The Wonder (Sebastián Lelio, 2022)
The Whale (Darren Aronofsky, 2022)
Shapeless (Samantha Aldana, 2021)
Skinamarink (Kyle Edward Ball, 2023)
Avatar: The Way of Water (James Cameron, 2022)
Actual People (Kit Zauhar, 2021)
Honeycomb (Avalon Fast 2022)
Warrendale (Allan King, 1967)
Women Talking (Sarah Polley, 2022)
This Place Rules (Andrew Callaghan, 2022)
Nationtime (William Greaves, 1972)
Deep End (Jerzy Skolimowski, 1970)
Incident in a Ghostland (Pascal Laugier, 2018)
Keane (Lodge Kerrigan, 2004)
I Start Counting (David Greene, 1970)
Bones and All (Luca Guadagnino, 2022)
Tár (Todd Field, 2022)
The Most Dangerous Game (Ernest B. Schoedsack and Irving Pichel, 1932)
These Three (William Wyler, 1936)
Dead End (William Wyler, 1937)
The Sport Parade (Dudley Murphy, 1932)
We're All Going to the World's Fair (Jane Schoenbrun, 2021)
Ratcatcher (Lynne Ramsay, 1995)
Smile (Parker Finn, 2022)
Holiday (Isabella Eklöf, 2018)
When Women Kill (Lee Grant, 1983)
Softie (Samuel Theis, 2021)
My Old School (Jono McLeod, 2022)
Beyond The Black Rainbow (Panos Cosmatos, 2010)
The Diary of a Teenage Girl (Marielle Heller, 2015)
Infinity Pool (Brandon Cronenberg, 2023)
Murina (Antoneta Alamat Kusijanovic, 2021)
The Banshees of Inisherin (Martin McDonagh, 2022)
Doubt (John Patrick Shanley, 2007)
Enys Men (Mark Jenkin, 2022)
Bully (Larry Clark, 2001)
My King (Maïwenn, 2015)
Festen (Thomas Vinterberg, 1998)
Marina Abramovic & Ulay: No Predicted End (Kasper Bech Dyg, 2022)
Elles (Małgośka Szumowska, 2011)
Poison Ivy (Katt Shea, 1992)
ear for eye (debbie tucker green, 2021)
Spring Blossom (Suzanne Lindon, 2020)
God's Creatures (Saela Davis and Anna Rose Holmer, 2023)
I Blame Society (Gillian Wallace Horvat, 2020)
Bama Rush (Rachel Fleit, 2023)
Is This Fate? (Helga Reidemeister, 1979)
Paris 5:59: Théo & Hugo (Olivier Ducastel and Jacques Martineau, 2016)
Madeline's Madeline (Josephine Decker, 2018)
The Strays (Nathaniel Martello-White, 2023)
Here Is Always Somewhere Else (René Daalder, 2007)
The Weather Underground (Sam Green and Bill Siegel, 2002)
American Revolution 2 (Mike Gray, 1969)
Judas and the Black Messiah (Shaka King, 2021)
Underground (Emile de Antonio, Mary Lampson, and Haskell Wexler, 1976)
Saint Omer (Alice Diop, 2022)
Baby Ruby (Bess Wohl, 2022)
Welcome to Me (Shira Piven, 2014)
Clock (Alexis Jacknow, 2023)
Knock at the Cabin (M. Night Shyamalan, 2023)
Blue Jean (Georgia Oakley, 2022)
Soft & Quiet (Beth de Araújo, 2022)
Jesus' Son (Alison Maclean, 1999)
The Rehearsal (Alison Maclean, 2016)
Violent Playground (Basil Dearden, 1958)
Grizzly Man (Werner Herzog, 2005)
A Banquet (Ruth Paxton, 2021)
Jagged Mind (Kelley Kali, 2023)
The Night Porter (Liliana Cavani, 1974)
Good Boy (Viljar Bøe, 2023)
Sanctuary (Zachary Wigon, 2022)
Little Girl (Sébastien Lifshitz, 2020)
Séance on a Wet Afternoon (Bryan Forbes, 1964)
Massacre at Central High (Rene Daalder, 1976)
Summer of Soul (Amir "Questlove" Thompson, 2021)
Bad Things (Stewart Thorndike, 2023)
Still (Takashi Doscher , 2018)
Lake Mungo (Joel Anderson, 2008)
The Vanishing (George Sluizer, 1988)
The Ringleader: The Case of the Bling Ring (Erin Lee Carr, 2023)
Giants and Toys (Yasuzo Masumura, 1958)
Spoonful of Sugar (Mercedes Bryce Morgan, 2022)
Double Lover (François Ozon , 2017)
Hereditary (Ari Aster, 2018)
Bodies Bodies Bodies (Halina Reijn, 2022)
Don't Call Me Son (Anna Muylaert, 2016)
Great Freedom (Sebastian Meise, 2021)
Mother! (Darren Aronofsky, 2017)
The Mind of Mr. Soames (Alan Cooke, 1970)
The Bloody Child (Nina Menkes, 1996)
Bunker (Jenny Perlin, 2021)
Polytechnique (Denis Villeneuve, 2009)
Scouts Honor: The Secret Files of the Boy Scouts of America (Brian Knappenberger, 2023)
The Woodsman (Nicole Kassell, 2004)
Giant Little Ones (Keith Behrman, 2018)
The Killing of a Sacred Deer(Yorgos Lanthimos, 2017)
Nineteen Eighty-Four (Michael Radford, 1984)
Saltburn (Emerald Fennell, 2023)
Renaissance: A Film by Beyoncé (Beyoncé Knowles-Carter, 2023)
May December (Todd Haynes, 2023)
Free Chol Soo Lee (Julie Ha and Eugene Yi, 2022)
Girl (Lukas Dhont, 2018)
Queen of Hearts (May el-Toukhy, 2019)
Streetwise (Martin Bell, 1984)
System Crasher (Nora Fingscheidt, 2019)
Burden (Richard Dewey and Timothy Marrinan, 2016)
As Above, So Below (Larry Clark, 1973)
The Captive (Chantal Akerman, 2000)
Run Rabbit Run (Daina Reid, 2023)
Subject (Jennifer Tiexiera and Camilla Hall, 2022)
Earth Mama (Savanah Leaf, 2023)
Woodshock (Kate Mulleavy and Laura Mulleavy, 2017)
Swept Away (Lina Wertmüller, 1974)
Meadowland (Reed Morano, 2015)
Brainwashed: Sex-Camera-Power (Nina Menkes, 2022)
La Ciénaga (Lucrecia Martel, 2001)
Zola (Janicza Bravo, 2021)
The Starling Girl (Laurel Parmet, 2023)
Night Comes On (Jordana Spiro, 2018)
Dance, Girl, Dance (Dorothy Arzner, 1940)
#so many good films this year!#so funny that the ones that people have really strong feelings on i did not really like this year (minus skinamarink which was incredible#and still absolutely haunts me—some of the other 2023 releases were :/)
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gifmaker / cc wrapped 2023!
thanks for tagging me my angel @jkvjimin 💜
i tried really hard not to choose all comp sets, but those take the most effort and therefore are what i'm prouder of than a standard set, but regardless...
here are my top 10 fave creations of the year:
bts chapter 1 insta feed // this was an insanely taxing project and is probably the most work i've ever put into anything, but i was really inspired to do it. it took about a week (one day for each panel) and was repetitive, i literally threw out my back by day 3 from sitting working on it that my body was in SO MUCH PAIN, but i wanted to get everything right and make it make sense which is why i wrote up a detail post breaking it down and explaining every decision that went into this. i still intend to make this a series and do one dedicated to their japanese discography (i actually started on one before i published this but didn't like the concept) and for their solo work, but it doesn't feel like the right time yet as things continue to release. but i look forward to it!
cheesy bts valentine cards // this was purposely corny, but the response was unbelievable! i had fun working on it and was so happy it made people laugh and smile. the tags were a joy to read on this post and it's my fourth most popular gifset ever. thank you!
bts guide to troubled birds // yet another corny idea, but i get a kick out of making silly comps and was inspired to make this. i started with jimin's as an experiment because his poem was the easiest to choose and built the rest of it from there, carefully deciding which poem to apply to each member and recreating them from scratch. i love celebrating their chaos in fun ways, so this was nice!
jungkook's sensitive tear ducts // sometimes i get really random comp ideas and spontaneously start making something with no plan. this was one of those times and it is now my third most popular gifset since making this blog in 2020 lol. ofc i'd never gif him upset about anything serious, so i only chose moments that didn't feel inappropriate to include to keep this set lighthearted and humorous.
long live bts (10th anniversary set) // i always knew i wanted to make something with the lyrics of that song because every word of it reminds me of their story. the 10th anniversary was perfect since it literally says "it was the end of a decade". i wanted the set to just be really simple so i went with a more desaturated look and focused more on choosing a scene from each year that fit the lyric per that gif.
love me again mv // this was my first time bothering to gif a music video in 4k. i usually avoid it bc it slows my computer down and takes a lot longer (i also have to reconvert the youtube download to a different file type to get it to play in my kmplayer, it's a whole process) but i waited a few days after it came out because i originially didn't think i could color it when it premiered so i just didn't gif it. but i gave it a try anyway when i didn't feel so pressured and i really like how crisp they came out.
jungkook's bday set // i didn't have a plan for this when i started, but i searched a lot for inspo and finally found something i felt like i could make something with so i came up with this very barbie-esque rendition for jungkook that i'm still very fond of. i purposely didn't write happy birthday on it anywhere so it could be shared year-round. it's probably my fave set i made all year and everyone seemed to like it too!
jimin's bday set // this was originally just going to include songs from FACE, but i decided it didn't celebrate jimin's work as a whole if i didn't include all his solo songs/endeavors so it turned into a big monster. i like how it came out though!
standing next to you mv // this year i was introduced to HD master files, so instead of rushing to download a new mv from youtube and giffing it fast, i'd wait for a higher quality rip from apple music to show up online. the difference is quite astounding. i made gifs with master files for all three of jk's music videos this year (seven, 3D), but i like how this one turned out the best.
vmin comp // just felt like giffing my two favorite people before they left and needed to channel my sad emotions into something before seeing them seperate for so long. i included moments i've giffed before and ones i've never had the chance to gif. i could have made this post so much longer but forced myself to stop lol. i like the pink and blue colors in it a lot <3 i miss them so much
thank for all your support on my work this year! i have lots of (old) new stuff in my drafts to share in the new year so please keep your love coming x
i'm going to tag @userjiminie @userjungkook97 @btsiu and @cordiallyfuturedwight to do this if they'd like to!
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A question for you because you seem like one of those people who has watched everything: how did you get started watching bl, and what are your ultimate favorite shows?
Double-barrelled! I'm honoured.
How did I get into BL?
The short answer is that ~2016 the YouTube algorithm served me up Lovesick and I immediately went EXCUSE ME WHAT IS THIS and looked up everything else available and watched literally everything I could get my hands on (which at the time was easy because there was only a handful compared to today, but it still felt like a wealth of content to enjoy).
The longer answer is that I used to be really involved in GL (I was the secretary at the first Yuricon in North America in 2002 or 2003) and then BL manga fandom (was in a scanlation group for awhile) through ~2006? so its extra hilarious that this wasn't my route in; I apparently took a break right before they started making live action versions in Japan. But when I got into Thai BL it was fun rediscovering these tropes in a new medium and through the lens of a new-to-me culture, noticing how they differed and how the genre had matured (and how it hadn't), and on catching up on the stuff out of Japan, seeing some of the manga I read over a decade ago come to life! So I mention this history because it's definitely a part of why I stayed (and probably why the algorithm found me relatively quickly).
I only started tracking things in a spreadsheet in 2020 (and it's not nearly as comprehensive or useful as @absolutebl 's), but I did try to backfill the highlights of what I've seen and I have over 550 rows on there, fwiw. I'm a completionist so I do try to watch everything, though that's getting more and more impossible these days.
Ultimate Favourite Shows
This question is so hard. I know you didn't even give me a limit but you have to understand @lurkingshan, I can't choose favourites, I have a draft top ten list that has been blank for 3 years because I can't commit. Okok. I'm just going to list shows as they come to me (not in any particular order):
Thailand: Until We Meet Again, He's Coming to Me, Diary of Tootsies, WhyRU, Ingredients, Not Me, Secret Crush on You, I Told Sunset About You & I Promised You the Moon, Triage, You're My Sky, Make it Right, La Pluie, My Ride, Bad Buddy, My School President, Laws of Attraction, Moonlight Chicken, Dear Dr I'm Coming for Soul, To Sir With Love/Khun Chai, The Eclipse, Midnight Museum, Lovely Writer... Grey Rainbow [ducks, hides, runs away]
Japan: Doushitemo Furetakunai (no touching at all), Kinou Nani Tabeta (What did you eat yesterday?), Our Dining Table, Takara-Kun and Amagi-Kun, Old Fashioned Cupcake, 7 Days (mon-thurs & fri-sun), His (miniseries & movie), I Want to See Only You, Kieta Hatsukoi/My love mix-up, the Cherry Magic Movie, Life~Senjou no bokura/Love on the Line, 180 Degrees Longitude Passes Through Us, Given (anime is my fave version), Tokyo in April Is..., Cornered Mouse Dreams of Cheese, Utsukushii Kare/My beautiful man
Korea: Our Dating Sim, Semantic Error, The Lover [BL side], Color Rush, Blueming, Cherry Blossoms After Winter, Love Class 2, Made on the Rooftop, Discipline Z, Light on Me, To My Star (yes both seasons), Strongberry (faves are Long Time No See, Confidential Coffee Break, and A First Love Story), Sing My Crush, Just Friends?
Vietnam: Goodbye Mother, Hey! First Love, Nation's Brother, You Are Ma Boy, Follow My Sunshine, FOOLs, Tien Bromance: My Small Family, Love Bill
Philippines: Gameboys, Gaya sa Pelikula, Boys Lockdown, Cheat [warning: horror], Your Home, Better Days
Taiwan: Be Loved in House, My DNA Says Love You, We Best Love (1 & 2), HIStory (Crossing the Line is my fave, and second fave is...Make Our Days Count [ducks, hides, burrows into ground]).
Other: Summerdaze (short from Singapore), Stay Still (Hong Kong), HeHe and He (Hong Kong, final season in progress but s1&2 are so funny) and the bromances/difficult to categorize: Scumbag System, Word of Honor, The Untamed, Guardian, Coffee Prince, Bromance (Taiwanese), Great Men Academy, Mr Queen, Sleuth of Ming Dynasty, SCI Mystery
*deep breath* ok I'm stopping lol narrowing it down any less than this gives me pain so I won't try. Also I'm sure I forgot something obvious (and Tumblr was eating drafts of this at various points). All I can say about this list is it's under 100 and that's the best I could do.
Thanks for the ask, and to anyone who made it this far thanks for reading!
#thank you for the ask!#multi bl#rec list#i remain a parody of myself and unable to choose favourites#thank you for coming to my ted talk#ask game#typed so i can stop thinking it
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• Another Time, Another Chance •
[Kakashi x Reader] || 5k
Based on the Fluff prompt: "You have something in your hair... Do you want me to get it out?"
A/n: i received the request for this in 2020,started writing it in 2021 and finished it now at the end of 2022 so this fic has made a very long arduous journey before appearing on your feed today. This is needlessly long (5??? K??? Words???) bc im physically incapable of writing shorter fics. Been super out of touch so i hope this doesn't read like a drag, ending seems a bit rushed to me but i needed to be stopped from adding any more words. thanks so much for reading!!<3
********
You had been dreading this day all week.
Ever since the invitation arrived in your mail, you’d been wrecking your mind, trying to think of excuses— something, anything, to get out of the dreadful misery this day was about to present. Any possibilities of a sudden ankle fracture or an unexpected call to duty, however, were put to rest when you ran into your dear friend, the childhood bosom bud you’d recently reunited with after ten years, on your run to the grocery store this morning— who demanded—well, warned, really— that you “better fucking show up” to what was going to be one of the most important nights of her life.
So there you were now, standing in front of your closet which was filled mostly in hues of blue or black, and rolls of what people refer to as “practical clothing”, looking for that one peach-colored dress you had stuffed at the back somewhere after the last time you wore it— the one that your mother had given you many moons ago on your birthday.
If you had known that you would be coerced into attending an engagement party not five days after your return to your village, you’d have delayed your return. But fact of the matter remained that Kurenai was indeed your best friend, and if your being there mattered to her that much, then perhaps you could push your own feelings—and by that you meant your general detest towards weddings and anything involving matters of the heart (Shinobi don’t show their emotions, that’s rule one) aside. Well, that and the fact that she threatened to hunt you down if you deigned to not show up.
But it’ll be fine, you told yourself. You would go, congratulate the happy couple, smile and nod at the people who approach you, have a round of drinks and appetizers, and slip out as soon as the crowd thickens. All in all, it shouldn’t take more than one, one and a half hours tops. You could do one and a half hours. It’d be fine.
Forty minutes and heaps of wrinkled clothes scattered all over your floor later, you finally managed to find the dress you were looking for. It’d need ironing and there was a stain in the front, but it could be covered up with the silver butterfly pendant you had. A quick glance at the mirror informed you that the load of laundry you were about to do would have to wait until tomorrow. Your hair was greasy, and you needed to do something about the bags under your eyes.
And of course, a present. You needed to get a present. This truly was turning out to be a massive pain in the ass.
...................................................................................
With the towel wrapped around your hair, you laid your dress out on the ironing board. You must have been eighteen when you last wore it but thankfully, it still fit. It was a beautiful piece— the fanciest piece of clothing you owned, no doubt, with a sweetheart neckline and lace detailing at the back.
Seeing the dress after so long did open a floodgate of memories…
It had been one week since your sixteenth birthday.
You had just passed your jounin exams.
You could still recall how the air felt that day, grain to grain in your mind. You were elated, you’d worked so, so hard for months. And finally, it had paid off. Anything seemed possible that day. The sky was the colour of water, the sun had never shone brighter. Everything was possible.
Even confessing your emotions of deep adoration to the boy you’d admired all through your young years.
It’s now or never, you’d told yourself. You’d never feel as courageous as you did that day. It was the perfect time.
And so, you’d put on your best dress, picked some daisies from your backyard, and strode off to where you knew you’d find him—the boy whose name cluttered the last pages of every notebook of yours, the one who starred in each of your daydreams— Kakashi Hatake.
You’d found him climbing a tree in the forest, a piece of cloth tied over his eyes and another tying his hands to his back. Chakra control practice.
You still remembered the tremor of your voice and the gigantic gulp you’d taken before uttering the next words. “Kakashi, would you mind coming down for a minute?”
The words were set on your tongue and your little heart banged within your ribs. You’d watched as he climbed down the branches with his eyes and hands redundant with the same meticulousness of a cat.
The moments he had taken to take off the blindfold and free his hands may have been the longest moments of your life.
And then, he’d fixed his dark eye on you, the frown on his face making his annoyance at being interrupted painfully clear. “What is it?”
Now usually, this is the part where you stopped reminiscing and yanked yourself out of the memory. If only you could go back in time, grab your younger self’s wrist, and yank her out of that very situation itself. But alas, that’s not how things work.
Back when the wound was still fresh, you’d replayed the next few moments time and time again in your mind but with the years, you’d mostly succeeded in blocking that part out entirely, as if you could just ignore it out of existence.
You hated to admit it now, but it truly had broken your naive heart into pieces. After all, being met with an impudent “That’s stupid, you shouldn’t” after confessing your admiration to the guy you’d written poems about in your journal isn’t exactly every sixteen-year-old’s dream.
But these were all in the past. Now when you thought of that moment, you just felt pity for your young, foolish self.
If only you could go back in time and…
Regrets aside, you were proud of how far you’d come. There was very little that could faze you now and things like juvenile crushes and fantasies about romance were things of the distant past. You’d burnt your journal not long after that incident—the one filled with poems about how Kakashi’s hair reminded you of the moon.
Eurgh. The thoughts made you cringe now.
It’s not that you didn’t find chances at romance past that one unfortunate incident. You’d left the village at seventeen, and in your ten years of voyage around the world learning about medicine, you’d come across many a man who had shown interest in you. But none had piqued yours.
But now, finally, you were home. Truth be told, you’d missed Konoha. The village, at least. The people…were another question. Once you’d left, you were almost completely out of touch with your friends back here and it had partly been intentional.
Which was another reason why the evening’s ceremony was turning out to be a particularly dreadful affair for you. You hadn’t seen these people in a decade and now to see them all together, at one place, in an engagement ceremony of two of your old classmates…it was all a bit overwhelming. You never were much of a socializer and after that incident, your self-esteem had taken a huge blow, leading you to mostly isolate yourself from your peers. It also hadn’t helped that Kotetsu and Izumo had been sparring that hapless day not far from where Kakashi was and had watched the entire situation unfold in front of themselves, and had then taken the liberty to do a dramatic retelling of the events to each of your comrades, with embellishments and exaggerations added for flair. You had been mercilessly teased, mocked, and ridiculed for weeks.
Sigh.
Was there really no way you could get out of this?
........................................................................................
You stood in front of the big stretch of lush green grass, known as the Konoha Public Park. Yellow lights twinkled in the distance where chairs and tables had been set up in close circles. Rows of cherry blossoms stood swaying along the edges of the park, their feathery pink petals swirling about and settling on the grass under your feet.
Soft music and cackles of laughter flowed into your ears from where you stood now. Right ahead of you was a small arched bridge, hovering over a stream of water. The way the lights danced on the water made it look like little stars were floating along the currents.
The place really did look beautiful.
They must have spent thousands on this thing, you couldn’t help but think. It made sense. Asuma was the third Hokage’s son after all.
All around you, more and more people started to come in—mostly in pairs of two. You still didn’t see anybody you knew yet, and you couldn’t decide whether that was good or bad.
Far in the distance, your eye caught Kurenai, arm in arm with Asuma, throwing her head back and laughing at something he must have said.
Alright.
You took a deep breath.
Here we go.
Once inside, the sea of faces—some familiar, some unfamiliar was making your mind dizzy. Wherever you looked, it seemed like the throngs of happy couples never ended. Was everybody on some kind of love potion in this town?
Your mind was telling you make a run for it, but it had only been— you checked, twenty minutes. You had already met Asuma and Kurenai and congratulated them, and exchanged niceties with a few other old friends who had come to ask you about your journey.
You had yet to pass forty more minutes somehow and there was only one thing to do—hit the bar.
The bar was a few feet long counter on one corner of the park, stocked with all sorts of premium brands and manned by three people dressed in black and white.
If this was the engagement party, what in the hell were they gonna do for the wedding?
“Hi, can I have a vodka cranberry, please?” you said, sitting down on a stool. This spot provided almost an entire view of the venue and you could see two very familiar-looking guys making their way towards the bar, and judging by the way they were vehemently waving their hands, it looked like they—Kotetsu and Izumo recognized you too.
You had NOT prepared for this.
Thankfully at that very moment, the bartender slid a glass of crimson liquid across to you. The ice cubes bumped around on the surface as you grabbed the glass in one hand and your purse in another, took a quick sip, and made a dash for the farthest end of the park, completely cut off from all the merriness.
Clutching the glass close to you, you took quick, hasty steps–stumbling and tripping your way along the sprawling field, all the while keeping an eye behind you to make sure you weren’t being pursued. The grass was uneven in some parts, and your heels weren’t helping.
With a lurch of your heart, you felt your toe hit what must have been a rock. In seconds, your glass was flying from your hand as you attempted to steady yourself, only to feel your body crashing into someone else’s with a thump.
“JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, I’M SO SORRY,”, you screamed out, before looking up to glance at the unfortunate bystander whom you had no doubt doused in your drink. “Please let me-”, you started, but your words dissolved in your throat.
Your drink was fine.
The glass was intact.
And holding it was none other than Kakashi Hatake– the last man you ever wanted to see, let alone crash into.
Great.
Okay, deep breaths. Maybe he won’t even recogn–
“Hello, y/n.”
Ah, perfect.
Words, words, words. What are some words?
“Kakashi”, you heard yourself respond. Thank God.
Within the walls of your brain rang a thousand different sirens.
“I heard you were back in town, you look well”, said the man in front of you, whose figure towered several inches over your head.
You didn’t remember Kakashi being quite so tall. But then again, the last time you’d seen him, he’d only been a boy. His gangly limbs had grown into muscled arms, his once gaunt torso, now broad and firm–even beneath the dark grey suit that he was clad in right now.
You hoped you didn’t look too floored.
“Yes. You too”, you managed, looking back at him, ensuring to not look too surprised, or more accurately, awestruck with him.
In the absence of the headband, Kakashi’s silver hair– free and silken, caressed his eyebrows. His face, though covered in its majority by a mask, had sharpened along the edges, in contrast to the boyish softness it once held.
With most of his face covered, you couldn’t help but look him in the eyes.
Surely you were immune to him by now? He was handsome, yes. But so, what? You’d seen handsome men before. Been in their company, spent time with them, studied with them, lived alongside them.
Kakashi was no exception.
If he had any similar feelings of astonishment in seeing you after all this time, he didn’t let it show.
“Anyway, I better…”, you muttered, proceeding to reclaim your glass from him, and stepping aside to move past his still surprisingly tall figure. “It was good to see you”, you said, without looking back.
Barely had you taken a step when the voice behind you called out.
“Not even a thank you for saving you from public humiliation?”
And there it was. The cockiness.
Perhaps he hadn’t changed that much after all.
Sighing to yourself, you turned on your heel to face Kakashi, fixing him with a glare.
“Thank you so very much”, you drawled, flashing him your phoniest smile.
Kakashi sniggered, speaking through a smirk as he bridged the gap between you. “Now, now, y/n. That didn’t sound very sincere”.
He was clearly enjoying this. Embarrassing you once in this lifetime must not have been enough.
And could he stop saying your name?
But you were no longer an infatuated doe-eyed little girl who blushed and fawned upon him. And you wanted that fact known.
“Don’t you have something better to do rather than being a pain in the ass?”
An impish glint peeked through Kakashi’s dark eyes.
“Pardon me, I didn’t realize I was being,” he paused before adding, “a pain in your ass”.
You didn’t enjoy the way his enunciation of the last two words made you squirm. You needed to get away from him. Fast.
But fleeing would be cowardly. And more importantly, why would you? He no longer had an impact on you. No, you were going to stay right here, look him in the eye and face him.
“What are you doing here anyway, Hatake?”
“Same thing as you are, rejoicing in the union of my closest friends.”
You scoffed, repeating his words back to him, “rejoicing in the union of your closest friends?”. “I’d have thought these things are beneath you.”
The smirk was unrelenting on Kakashi’s face. “You must not know me very well then, Y/n.”
There it was, your fucking name again.
“Y/N! Kakashi! There you both are, I have been looking all over for you!” shrieked Gai, coming towards you with hurried steps. You had already exchanged pleasantries with him earlier in the evening, and unlike some others you had encountered, Gai remained exactly the same as he had been when you last met—warm, generous, and very, very spirited.
“Yes”, you retorted, “and I’d like to keep it that way. Now if you’ll excuse me”, you said, turning around to walk towards the centre of the park, where a buffet table had been stationed, with sweet and savory items laid out across its stretch.
Once again, however, your attempt for departure was interrupted.
“Is everything okay?” you asked, as Kakashi stepped up beside you.
“Yes, yes, everything is fantastic! Don’t you worry, Y/N. I was only looking for you to ask you to join us. All of us back there have been playing some very fun games, and you are missing out on all the fun!”, Gai said, pointing behind him to a gathering of people.
“Oh um, I actually…” you started, ravaging your brain for an excuse, but you knew it would be as fruitless as telling Gai that a thousand push-ups a day was way too many push-ups.
“No excuses, Y/n!”, “You too, Rival!” Gai added, cutting Kakashi off in the middle of an unoriginal excuse about requiring to use the washroom. “Come on now, over here”, Gai ushered, leading you towards the gathering as you and Kakashi followed with thwarted faces.
Taking a large plentiful sip of your drink, you kept your glass aside, hoping it would be enough to fuel you for whatever lunacy lay ahead.
If only you could go back to the moment in time when you made the decision of coming here and smack yourself in the head.
“Well, what are we playing?” Kakashi asked without fervour, standing beside you with his hands in his pocket as he soaked in the sight in front of him. Multiple pieces of paper had been cut into squares and piled up on the grass.
“I’m glad you asked, Rival! Everybody, gather around please!”, Gai called, as each pair of eyes fell upon him. “For our next game, we’ll be playing Paper Dance! Please form yourselves into groups of two, pick up a piece of paper from the ground, and position yourselves on it. Please remember that both partners must be standing on the paper at all times! When I say start, the music will begin and you will have to dance, maintaining your balance. Once the music stops, the paper will be folded into half and both partners will stand on the halved paper. The music will begin again and when it stops the next time, the paper will be folded into a quarter, and the same will keep repeating until there is only one remaining couple on the floor! As the paper keeps getting smaller, one partner is allowed to pick another up to make space, however, the minute either partner falls off the square, the team will be disqualified! Is everyone clear on the rules?”
A booming roar answered Gai as everyone around you hooted and scrambled to pick up papers for their teams.
You hesitantly picked one up yourself, but there remained one simple problem. Everyone around you had already found a partner, barring only…Kakashi.
Without sparing him a glance, you approached Gai, but before you could get a word out, Gai spoke.
“So sorry, y/n, but I will be the coordinator for this game, to make sure nobody is cheating. Kakashi there seems to be without a partner as well, so you can pair up with him, over here Kakashi!”
“Wait, but–”, you interjected, but Gai had already pushed you and Kakashi together, signaling the DJ to start the music.
“Everybody in their places…and start!”
An upbeat lyric-less melody engulfed the expanse of the park.
As if being shanghaied into attending a wedding and bumping into Kakashi in a less than graceful encounter wasn’t enough, you were now being made to DANCE with him, smack in the middle of the Konoha park, in the audience of hundreds of people.
This evening was truly shaping up to be the stuff of nightmares.
The only advantage in all of this—if you had to choose one, was the fact that in front of you, Kakashi looked quite uncomfortable himself, try as he did to shroud it.
Every pair around you had their arms linked—chiming to the tune, swaying and spinning, throwing their heads back in laughter. The contrast of your partnership as compared to every other team on the floor was like fire and ice.
Tapping your toes in reluctance, you put as much space as possible between you and Kakashi on the small scrap of paper, looking everywhere but ahead.
“Kakashi! Y/N! That’s not dancing”, Gai interjected, coming around to you. “Put some enthusiasm into those youthful bodies of yours and shake it out!” he added, belting out a serpentine body roll for demonstration.
Flashing him a thumbs up, you pretended to pick up the pace, only to revert to your designated foot taps the moment Gai turned to the pair next to you. Your eyes fell upon Kakashi in a reflexive glance, and you found your dance partner staring right at you, his face an expression of curious amusement.
“Killer moves”, he jibed, but before you could retaliate, Gai’s voice interrupted the music. “And…stop! Amazing everyone! No couples have been disqualified yet, so before we start the next round, everybody please step down from your papers, fold them in half, and retake your positions on them.”
You and Kakashi stepped down from the paper at the same time, each bending down to fold the paper. Your head bumped against his and you jumped back, going back a few steps and letting him do the task as you tucked a loose strand of hair back in place.
Having folded the paper in half, Kakashi stood with his hands clasped in front of him, waiting—almost daring, you to step over first. Looking him in the eye, you stepped onto the paper, the space on which had significantly reduced now.
You felt yourself gulp as Kakashi came forward.
“Ready everyone?”, Gai’s voice rang in the background.
Your feet were touching, your face inches from Kakashi’s chest.
“Start!” called Gai, as a different, less upbeat melody spilled from the speakers.
The scarcity of space made it impossible for you now to look past Kakashi’s figure. With your face mere inches from his chest, you could make out the distinct cliffs of Kakashi’s collarbones peeking through the open top of his shirt. A silver chain peeked through, glinting under the canopy of lights overhead.
Kakashi swayed lightly to the tune, his movement so minuscule as to be missed by anyone not standing centimeters away from him.
The song playing was familiar to you. It was the instrumental version of your favourite song from your teenage days. There had been many a night you spent writing poetry, this very song playing in the background as you scribbled away.
Droplets of sweat had begun to trickle over your back. The air felt thickened with the smell of chrysanthemums and nostalgia.
You persisted, focusing your eyes on a singular button of Kakashi’s suit, counting the seconds in your mind and waiting for the welcome interjection of Gai’s voice.
A soft warm breeze jostled through the crowd, leaving Kakashi’s hair ruffled. He reached up to pat it back into place, nimble fingers brushing past your forearm as he did.
Explosions like fireworks erupted through your pores where his fingers had trailed.
Your throat seemed to be getting narrower and narrower.
Without a thought or a moment’s realization, you felt your feet trampling away from the muddy piece of paper underneath and over the grass, sprinting, carrying you away. Away from the insufferable melody, the sickening smell of flowers, the disgusting exhibit of affection displayed by couples in each corner, the wretched black mole on Kakashi’s chest under his right collarbone where your eyes kept dragging.
Heaving as you caught your breath, you seated yourself on a wooden bench at the edge of the park. Your heart hammered in your throat as you tried to make sense of what had transpired. Somewhere in the distance, you could hear a faint voice, “Y/N! That is against the rules! Sorry, Rival, I am afraid I will have to disqualify you too.”
Multiple pairs of eyes had turned to look in your direction. You must have looked insane. Running across the field like that, matted hair sticking all over your face. You really had a penchant for embarrassing yourself, it would appear.
This was all too much, all of it. The wedding, Kakashi, your stupid fucking heels that made your soles ache.
Much to your relief and fortune, a woman’s voice replaced the maddening sound of the song blasting through the speakers at that precise moment. It was time for toasts.
Undoing the straps of your shoes, you laid your bare feet on the grass, leaning back to rest your head on the bench.
It was a clear night, the stars shining with all their might, as if in celebration of your friends.
You closed your eyes. The cool grass was soothing underneath your aching feet.
“Are you okay?”
Ugh.
You opened your eyes to see Kakashi standing over you, looking down with an expression almost resembling… was it concern?
You didn’t think he was capable.
“What now?”, you sniped.
Your patience was running thin, you needed to be away from here.
“You left this”, Kakashi said, holding out your glass of vodka cranberry that you’d kept aside earlier.
“You seem awfully attached to my drink”, you jabbed again, but Kakashi ignored it, coming around to take the vacant spot beside you.
“What happened back there?” he inquired, turning his eyes on you as you looked down at your feet.
What DID happen back there?
“Nothing, I just…felt dizzy. Didn’t get time to have lunch today”, you lied, although only partly. You had, indeed, not gotten time to have lunch that afternoon, you were too busy scouring the market for an appropriate gift, all to ultimately settle on the quaint night lamp that had caught your eye in the very first shop you had visited.
“Hm, then this may not be such a good idea”, Kakashi responded, keeping the crimson-filled glass beside him on the bench.
Out of the corner of your eye, you noticed Kakashi gesture to a server standing a few feet away, holding a tray filled with what appeared to be dumplings.
“Wait, are those dumplings?” the sight of your favourite snack provided the ideal distraction from the less-than-savory thoughts that were beginning to nestle inside your head.
Your stomach growled in agreement, as you realized how hungry you had been.
You piled six onto a small plate and watched Kakashi carefully place two into one of his own.
“God, I missed these”, you exclaimed through a mouthful as Kakashi thanked the tux-clad server, before turning to his plate.
“They do NOT make dumplings like this outside of Konoha”, you added, smacking your lips and digging into the next one. “I need to make up for all the time I lost not eating these.”
Kakashi let a smile slip, watching you in silent amusement. “Well, it looks like you need these more than I do,” he said, offering you his plate.
You couldn’t help but gape.
Was Kakashi Hatake being nice?
“Uhh…”, you hesitated, but Kakashi’s eyes looked entirely genuine, much to your shock…and despair.
He was making this rather hard.
“Is there any reason why you’re going out of your way to be nice to me and following me around like a puppy dog the entire evening?”, you blurted, expecting Kakashi to retort with a brazen remark, an insult to match the ones you had been hurling at him all evening.
Instead, he shrugged. “Got some making up to do my own”.
The words made you turn. The air between you had shifted. “What does that mean?”
But just as easily, the tide had rolled over. “Nothing”, Kakashi said airily, piling his dumplings onto your plate.
You studied his face once more to make sure this was not some juvenile prank. In his eyes, you read only kindness.
“Well um…thanks”, you said, putting your seventh dumpling in your mouth.
Kakashi gave a wave of his hand. “I owed you one.”
Still ruminating about his earlier comment about having things to make up for, you asked, “For what?”
“For freeing me from the torment of dancing for another second.”
The mole under his collarbone made a flashing appearance in your mind and you looked away, coughing on your last bite.
“Right, uh yeah, no biggie”, you said, clearing your throat. “Anyway, I uh, am gonna take a lap around the park, the toasts are over, and Gai looks like he’s about to start up another game again. I’d rather not be in the vicinity while he’s recruiting participants”, you added, slipping back into your shoes.
You wanted to get away from him, you needed to get away from him.
You had spent the last ten years of your life keeping Kakashi Hatake from your mind, and your last ten minutes had been spent studying his hands as they rested on his lap.
And recalling how his fingers had felt against your skin.
You stood up, looking back to take his leave, but something in his eyes rendered you powerless over yourself. Because the next words you uttered were, “Do you wanna come with?”
With his tone the embodiment of nonchalance, Kakashi accepted your gracious offer, yet something in his demeanor made you glad that you’d asked.
Once on your way, however, you found yourself at a loss of words. The scent of Kakashi’s perfume clouded your mind—an aquatic smell, subtle yet lingering.
In an attempt to avoid any further unwanted invitations, the two of you kept to the edge of the park, seeking concealment underneath the shadows of the cherry trees that lined the perimeter.
“Pretty night tonight”, you commented without thought. The silence had become too dense.
“Yes”, Kakashi nodded in agreement, looking up at the sky, “Lot of stars.”
“Mmhmm” you mused in response. “Very starry.”
Petals of cherry blossom had littered the ground, carving a pink, velvety path of their own.
You spent a few minutes walking in quietude again, before Kakashi broke the silence. “You know, if you look close enough, you can make out the Six Paths constellation in the sky tonight.”
“The Six Paths constellation?” you asked eagerly, grateful for his intervention.
“Yeah, up there”, Kakashi pointed at the bejewled satin sky. “The brightest star there in the middle is supposed to mark his Third Eye, the smaller, dimmer stars on each side his eyes, and the one at the bottom the tip of his beard”
You halted to look, glancing in the direction of his finger before glaring back at him.
“You just made that up.”
Kakashi looked back at you, the thinly veiled smirk on his mouth giving way to a hearty chuckle, “I did”, he admitted sheepishly.
You couldn’t help but laugh along.
“You think you’re so clever, don’t you?” you chided through a chortle.
When Kakashi laughed again, the stars dimmed.
“I missed it, you know?” you confessed absent-mindedly, “The village. The…people.”
“The dumplings”, Kakashi appended.
You laughed again. “Most of all the dumplings, yes.”
A long subdued, familiar sensation crept up your neck like the arms of an old friend.
A breeze passed through.
Petals from the blossom branches rained upon you in a tender, pink shower.
Kakashi’s gaze was soft on yours.
“You have something in your hair,” he said, nodding towards your right. “Do you want me to get it out?”
“Oh um…” you fumbled, reaching up for your hair, but stopping midway. “Sure.”
Kakashi stepped closer, reaching across to touch a pink petal lodged over your ear.
Inside your chest, your heart hammered. It had been for a long time, you realized—growing louder with each thrum.
Once.
His fingers whisked past your cheek.
Twice.
Kakashi smiled down, silver hair gleaming like moonlight.
Thrice.
Your eyes widened.
You had been wishing to go back in time all evening, but you failed to realize until now that you had done just that.
Kakashi held the petal out to you, the flower blushing a pristine pink in his palm.
And with the next thrum of your heart, you were sixteen again.
#kakashi#naruto#kakashi headcanons#naruto headcanons#kakashi x reader#kakashi x reader fanfic#kakashi x reader fanfiction#kakashi fanfiction#kakashi hatake#kakashi x you#kakashi x y/n
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mint chocolate shirt — prologue
345 words + screenshots below !
obviously it was irresponsible of jungwon to head to the convenience store seconds before he was supposed to leave for inkigayo. however, jungwon couldn’t shake away his nerves, and he remembered his grandma’s secret to calming them, honey lemon tea, so he rushed to get some.
satisfied with his purchase, jungwon headed towards the dorms, where the frustrated staff and his anxious members awaited. sipping on his tea, he checked his phone to see the time: 10:02 am. there was still enough time for them to get to the show on time.
a few sips and gulps later, jungwon finished his honey lemon tea, and crushed his cup before throwing it away in the trash can next to the stoplight. red light, perfect time to send a message. as jungwon’s fingers typed away, he failed to notice the change in light until there were 10 seconds left to cross.
jungwon checked cars on both sides before walking across the street, now replying to his members’ worried messages. unfortunately for him, you saw the blinking 5 on the pedestrian sign, and tried to make a run for it. all while holding your prized mint chocolate chip ice cream.
“splat,” the sound of your mint green colored ice cream hitting jungwon’s white shirt. you stood there in shock, while jungwon stared back and forth between his shirt and your panicked eyes.
“oh my god, i am so sorry. i can like get you some napkins if you need; i swear i have some in my bag,” you rambled as you dug around your tote bag for some tissues. “haha, where is it? maybe i could like just give you some money to compensate instead,” you said sheepishly, looking up from your bag.
before jungwon was able to answer, his phone vibrated, reminding him of the time. and while red smoke was spilling from jungwon’s ears, he had to maintain his calm demeanor. “it’s fine,” he responded with a forced smile, and continued walking back to his dorm—with a fat green stain on his new white shirt.
SYNOPSIS. back in 2020, jungwon accidentally bumped into a girl, causing her mint chocolate chip ice cream to stain his crisp white shirt. with no time to change, jungwon had to go to his first inkigayo performance with a huge green circle on his shirt that his members constantly tease him for. now, two years later, jungwon bumps into you again, only this time, the mint chocolate chip ice cream stains your shirt.
< previous | masterlist | next >
AUTHOR’S NOTE. so that’s why jungwon hates mint choco 😧😧 also sorry for any grammar mistakes i wrote this at 4am and did not edit 😹😹
TAGLIST (OPEN). @0i8ma @mitsukifilms @wooniy @trsrina @jliea @yenqa @0310lvr @kohakun @sunoksunny @felixsunshine28
PERMANENT TAGLIST (OPEN). @yedamdamn @miridicallyyours @jungwonize @linniely @yebin14 @abdiitcryy @stllsph @valewoos @strwberrydinosaur @zi-ever
#enhypen smau#enhypen x reader#jungwon smau#jungwon x reader#enhypen au#jungwon au#jungwon x you#jungwon x y/n#enhypen imagines#jungwon imagines#enhypen fluff#jungwon fluff#enhypen social media au#jungwon social media au#enhypen scenarios#jungwon scenarios#enhypen fics#jungwon fics#enhypen angst#jungwon angst
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Genre : Romance - South Korea 🇰🇷
As of June 4, 2023 this Library will no longer be updated.
Please refer to the New Version here.
100 Days My Prince (2018) - Full List
Alchemy of Souls Season 1 (2022) - Full List
All the Liquors (2023) - Full List
Arang and the Magistrate (2012) - Full List
Are You Human Too? (2018) - Full List
Arthdal Chronicles (2019)
At a Distance, Spring is Green (2021)
Blueming (2022)
The Bridal Mask (2012) - Full List
Clean With Passion For Now (2018)
Color Rush (2020)
Crash Course in Romance (2023) - Full List
Crowned Clown (2019) - Full List
D-Day (2015)
The Director Who Buys Me Dinner (2022) - Full List
Doctor John (2019)
Falling for Innocence (2015)
Flower of Evil (2020) - Full List
The Forbidden Marriage (2022) - Full List
From Now On, Showtime! (2022) - Full List
Glory Jane (2011) - Full List
Good-bye, Mr. Black (2016)
Good Doctor (2013) - Full List
The Great Seer (2012) - Full List
Gu Family Book (2013)
Healer (2014)
The Heavenly Idol (2023) - Full List
Hello, God (2006)
Hwarang (2016)
Hyde, Jekyll, Me (2015)
If You Wish Upon Me (2022) - Full List
I’m Not a Robot (2017)
Individual Circumstances (2023) - Full List
Introverted Boss (2017)
It’s Okay, That’s Love (2014)
Jinxed At First (2022) - Full List
Just Between Lovers (2017)
The King’s Face (2014) - Full List
Kiss Sixth Sense (2022) - Full List
Kokdu: Season of Deity (2023) - Full List
The Law Cafe (2022) - Full List
Lovers of the Red Sky (2021) - Full List
Love to Hate You (2023) - Full List
Melting Me Softly (2019) - Full List
Mirror of the Witch (2016) - Full List
Moonshine (2021) - Full List
Pinocchio (2014) - Full List
Poong, the Joseon Psychiatrist (2022) - Full List
Poong, the Joseon Psychiatrist Season 2 (2023) - Full List
Risky Romance (2018)
A Shoulder to Cry On (2023) - Full List
Time Between Dog and Wolf (2007) - Full List
Unintentional Love Story (2023) - Full List
You Raise Me Up (2021) - Full List
Youth of May (2021) - Full List
*there's a weird gap in the list b/c Tumblr only allows a certain number of characters in one text block
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My April/May sims 4 faves
CC packs:
AxA 2020 | Public ReleaseAxA 2020 is a custom... : AHarris00Britney (tumblr.com)
Jius : Sneakers Collection 03 [Jius] Low Top... (tumblr.com)
eunosims — punk set punk set denim Download... (tumblr.com)
Finally back with some CC! Download under the cut... - StretchSkeleton (tumblr.com)
«affection» cc pack | clumsyalien on Patreon
Skin details:
I am Awkweird. (tumblr.com)
peachy's cc (tumblr.com)
Sim File Share - Filehosting for Simmers
sojuteatime : chamomile skinblend my first skinblend that i... (tumblr.com)
Maxis Match CC World - S4CC Finds, FREE downloads for The Sims 4 (tumblr.com)
Hair:
yaaahh!!!! (tumblr.com)
[EnriqueS4] Cold Hairstyle | Patreon
simstrouble : GLORIA by simstrouble An Up-do version of... (tumblr.com)
[EnriqueS4] Light Hairstyle New Mesh 18 Swatches... — ENRIQUE (tumblr.com)
Susie Hair BGC Hat Compatible 24 EA Colors Two... : AHarris00Britney (tumblr.com)
Tattoos:
Maxis Match CC World - S4CC Finds, FREE downloads for The Sims 4 (tumblr.com)
Cosmic Candy Tattoos (2.8K+ Follower Gift ) A set... | sweet peach dreams (tumblr.com)
Tops:
bralessness top set | Patreon
Full body:
The Sims Resource - Scarlet Dress
Bottoms:
The Sims Resource - Sunset Denim Ripped Jeans 017
PEACH | Saga Mini Skirt | Patreon
Accessories:
dreamgirl : 3 D l a s h e s _n e w m e s h b y d r... (tumblr.com)
sims, spice and everything nice — True Almond Nails by Joliebean I can’t live... (tumblr.com)
[EnriqueS4] Valentine Set | Patreon
The Sims Resource - Bushel Necklace
Shoes:
Madlen — Essential Pumps Collection This collection... (tumblr.com)
Madlen — Iriza Boots Essential piece of footwear! These... (tumblr.com)
Mens:
KK Basic set 07 | KK's creation on Patreon
BED_TS4 M Run star prism high-top converse | Patreon
Basic Sweater Top New Mesh All LOD’s Shadow Map... - GORILLA GORILLA GORILLA (tumblr.com)
Extra:
Mae body preset | Patreon
peachy's cc (tumblr.com)
Hina Outfit | Patreon
The Sims Resource - Natural Wing Liner N36
(This one is a mod) 100 Base Game Traits Pack v2.5 | Vicky Sims (chingyu1023) on Patreon
CONTROL ♡ a preset pack by peachyfaerie | Patreon
Favorite creators:
AHarris00Britney (tumblr.com)
aretha (tumblr.com)
simstrouble (tumblr.com)
Dreamgirl | creating Custom Content for The Sims 4 | Patreon
Hey guys! Sorry it's been a couple months and sorry if this looks pretty rushed, I'm pretty tired while I'm making this. <3
#the sims community#the sims 4#sims 4 cc list#sims 4 content#sims 4 cc#sims 4 maxis match#sims 4 clothing cc#sims 4 cas#must have sims 4 cc#sims 4 cc haul#sims 4 mods
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Look at these meow meows. I’ve gotten so much better at art.
P.S. if you wanna see my middle school art it’s under the break
Ok so this is from 2015. I was in middle school and this was my first creative scene that wasn’t a character standing looking straight at the fourth wall.
Look at those cutie patooties.
Next is 2016, with a significant improvement already. While I never drew seriously wanting to improve my style before the first drawing, I spent a year developing how I drew and this was the result of that. Do they all have the same face? Yes. Is it impossible to tell at a glance which character is which? Definitely. Still better than the first one tho
Now we’re onto 2017. I did this in one night for inktober. Some of the proportions are a little wonky, and I knew that at the time, but I kinda rushed to get it done. Though, my Facebook friends thought it was pretty cool.
Up next is 2018, the first digital piece. I did this on my phone with my finger. Also, the characters finally have different fur patterns! Even if three are solid color cats, it’s more detail than before.
Now here’s 2019. I upgraded once again to a drawing tablet and Paint Tool Sai. Nowadays it’s not my preferred software, but it was a really nice one to start off with. I also played around with lighting, trying to make sure that the light source was consistent with the background and to make the shading more than an airbrushed black.
2020 had a dramatic change! Still on Paint Tool Sai, you can tell that I am more comfortable with drawing on the computer. My favorite bits have always been the cat in the foreground and the angry spiky one
I went in a more stylized direction in 2021. Though the background is a little strange, you can really tell I was trying, especially compared to the empty plane of green from the last year.
And again, here is this 2023’s version! This took me like 8 hours of solid drawing. I also only used the lasso for all the coloring and shading. I’ve been a big fan of cell shading recently, I will admit.
#warrior cats#warriors#warrior cats fanart#oc#oc art#ocs#my ocs#warriors oc#redraw#draw this again#self improvement#art improvement#im proud of myself#flowerheart#october redraw
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My Top 60 BLs - The Elite 10% of 600 Watched
It's happened again, another year, another 100 BLs watched. We have just tipped the BL tracking spreadsheet over into 600 BLs watched. (by moi).
SO after watching 600 BLs, here are my top 60:
Seven Days - Japan 2015 (oldest BL on this list, also holds #1 spot, cute)
We Best Love: No. 1 For You & Fighting Mr. 2nd - Taiwan 2021
Semantic Error - Korea 2022
Light On Me - Korea 2021
Until We Meet Again - Thai 2019
Our Dating Sim - Korea 2023
To My Star - Korea 2021
Color Rush 1 - Korea 2021
Old Fashion Cupcake - Japan 2022
Takara-kun and Amagi-kun - Japan 2022
Minato’s Laundromat - Japan 2022
My Beautiful Man - Japan 2021
Cherry Blossoms After Winter - Korea 2022
HIStory 2: Crossing the Line - Taiwan 2018
Cherry Magic - Japan 2020
The Eighth Sense - Korea 2023
Bad Buddy - Thai 2022
A Tale of Thousand Stars - Thai 2021
My School President - Thai 2023
Love Tractor - Korea 2023
The New Employee - Korea 2023
Oxygen - Thai 2020
Be Loved In House: I Do - Taiwan 2021
Lovely Writer - Thai 2021
He’s Coming to Me - Thai 2019
Blueming - Korea 2022
Unintentional Love Story - Korea 2023
Step By Step - Thai 2023
My Ride - Thai 2022
La Pluie - Thai 2023
Wish You - Korea 2020
Our Dining Table AKA Bokura no Shokutaku - Japan 2023
Not Me - Thai 2022
Nobleman Ryu’s Wedding - Korea 2021
Love By Chance - Thai 2018
See You After Quarantine? - Taiwan 2021
Addicted - China 2016
Long Time No See - Korea 2017
My Tooth Your Love - Taiwan 2022
Why R U? - Thai 2020
The Tasty Florida - Korea 2021
About Youth - Taiwan 2022
SOTUS - Thai 2016
DNA Says Love You - Taiwan 2022
My Love Mix Up - Japan 2021
Roommates of Poongduck 304 - Korea 2022
The Eclipse - Thai 2022
Dark Blue Kiss - Thai 2019
Oh! Boarding House - Korea 2022
My Day - Pinoy 2020
Ocean Likes Me - Korea 2022
Bed Friend - Thai 2023
Cutie Pie - Thai 2022
Life: Love on the Line - Japan 2020
Love Class - Korea 2022
Restart After Come Back Home - Japan 2020
Tinted With You - Korea 2022
2gether - Thai 2020
Choco Milk Shake - Korea 2022
Destiny Seeker - Thai 2023
600 BLs - My Top 60 Notes
Bold = 10/10 (#1 … #8)
Italics = 9/10 (#9 … #33)
everything else is 8/10 (there are more 8/10s)
These are my personal preferences. If you don't see one of your favorites there it may still have scored an 8 just not made it onto the list.
Or... I didn't like is as much as you think I should.
Relative ranking isn't fixed. I basically just asked myself which ones would I want to rewatch right... now.
Absolute BL not included because it’s parody
Love is Science? & Puppy Honey not included because BL is a B-plot
Word of Honor has been censored off the list. Fuck that noise.
The following are my top 3 shorts:
A First Love Story - Korea 2021
Just Friends? - Korea 2009 (would have been the oldest on the list)
Some More - Korea 2018
This is as of the Aug 2023.
Not responsible for any additional awesome BLs that have aired since then.
Next up... 700 BLs. Expect me to do this again - next year. Unless I'm dead of course.
(Here's the last time I did this.)
#top 60 BLs#600 BLs watched#what am I doing with my life#I dont' want to be a completest... but I am#thai bl#korean bl#japanese bl#vietnamese bl#pinoy bl#taiwanese bl
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Hi. You watch a lot of dramas/series. Do you have any favorites? If you do, what's your top 20 favorite Asian BL dramas/series?
Hi, anon)) thank you for asking. Sorry, it took a while) but I have to prepare a visual representation to compensate for the lack of writing skills))) english is hard T_T
anyway, here are some of my favorite things
Love by Chance (2018)
The show that started it all (づ ᴗ _ᴗ)づ♡
Yep, my first Bl therefore I just must include it. Is is a good show? - not really. BUT! AePete are my babies, I love them. Nobody does it like them ٩(ˊᗜˋ*)و ♡
2. My Only 12% (2022)
Childhood friends to lovers done right! My favorite show of the last year. It is a slooooow burn but it's so worth it! Very lively and real boys. great family and friend dynamics, kind of meh last story outside of CakeEwi but still…If you want some great friendship slowly blooming into romance this is the show
3. Kieta Hatsukoi (2021)
Super cute show. All characters are amazing, story well written, minimum hurt all the comfort. Good girl-not an enemy (im really easy too please ( •̯́ ₃ •̯̀) xd)
4. 30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii (2020)aka Cherry magic
JapBL are totally for me when they do fluff, (cause their angst is on a such level I need a lifetime to process it xd)
but this one is so fluffy (ฅ́ ˘ฅ̀)♡ They make me happy and I grateful for it
5. My Ride (2022)
Speaking of fluff °ʚ(´꒳`)ɞ° Other couples are kind of boring But! Mork's uncles, MorkTawan's adopted son (still a bit salty we didnt see him again, Tawan should've had more parenting time, he is clearly a great dad ଘ(੭◌ˊᵕˋ)੭* ੈ♡‧₊˚) natural growth of their friendship into love *_*. This one is good!
6.Color Rush (2020)
I love soulmates. Its short, simple story but with very interesting and original idea.
7. Hello Stranger (2020)
Such a simple story but the way it was done is amazing! Falling in love through web camera (੭ ˊ^ˋ)੭ ♡ Characters have such an incredible chemistry even tho they have minimum personal contact(kudos to actors they done well)))
I Will Knock You (2022)
Okay, yes age gap not for everyone. But again it was done very respectful.
૮₍ ´ ꒳ `₎ა I love love love Noey's ˖°.✧aesthetic✧˖°., his room is my fave ngl, i want everything he has))))I love this delusional king He was so sure Thi is into him from the second they met and i live for it.
9. Until We Meet Again (2019)
I love soulmates 2. I just love this show. Its gonna traumatize you and then comforts you with cutest fluffiest boys that going through it
10. Vice Versa (2022)
I didn't like it at first
Puen annoyed me too much ૮꒰˶> ༝ <˶ ꒱ა but then I binge rewatch it in one weekend and I just fall for it. Its so good))) I love soulmates 3 and it's super pretty. I love colors
11. About Youth (2022)
Show where I love main and second couple the same ପ(๑•ᴗ•๑)ଓ ♡ thats rare))) Again very simple story but told beautifly
12. HIStory2 Right or Wrong (2018)
Let's talk HIStory. They kind of getting worse imho. 4 and 5 were just fine. thats sucks ʚ₍ᐢ ›̥̥̥ ༝ ‹̥̥̥ ᐢ₎ɞ i still love them tho
HIStory2 Right or Wrong (2018) 13. HIStory3 Trapped (2019) and 14. HIStory2 Crossing the Line (2018)
are superior for me. but just watch any of them they all are worth your time
15. Our Dating Sim (2023)
Second chance romance done very very right!
16. Oxygen (2020)
Good fluffy fluff. P'Phu and his bunny are so precious. Main are cute and sweet and adorable. Ignore weird girl and doctor everything else is just so lovely
17. Light on Me (2021)
Love triangle done right. Good light fluffy show that did hurt so good (๑˃̵ᴗ˂̵)
18. To My Star Season 2: Our Untold Stories (2022)
I love how they told this story
19. Not Me (2021)
its hard to explain how good this show is, its more serious than usual bls, great acting, amazing story, strong message told through not just cinematography but art and dance too. its truly great show
20. Triage (2022)
Time loops are fun
+ some honorable mentions
Ingredients (2020)
not a show))) just an add but damn. It such a feel good little comfort add
Jeff and Gameplay have an amazing chemistry, simple slice of life stories but so good , mutual pining done so well
anything by strongberry, literally just go at their YT chanel and enjoy ଘ(੭ˊᵕˋ)੭ ੈ♡‧₊˚
emmmm that a long post sorry
#q&a#mine edit#Love by Chance#my only 12 percent#my only 12%#kieta hatsukoi#30-sai made Dotei Da to Mahotsukai ni Nareru rashii#cherry magic#my ride the series#color rush#Hello Stranger the series#I Will Knock You#Until We Meet Again#vice versa the series#About Youth the series#HIStory2 Right or Wrong#HIStory3 Trapped#HIStory2 Crossing the Line#Our Dating Sim#oxygen the series#Light on Me#To My Star Season 2: Our Untold Stories#triage the series#ingredients the series#strongberry
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TOMORROW X TOGETHER Announces 6th Mini Album: Here’s When ‘TOMORROW’ Arrives
Yeonjun, Soobin, Beomgyu, Taehyun and HueningKai broke the news at their FanLive event in Seoul.
TOMORROW X TOGETHER is looking to the future. The K-pop quintet announced Sunday (March 3) that its sixth mini album, minisode 3: TOMORROW, is coming up fast on the horizon, marking the band’s first release of 2024.
Bandmates Yeonjun, Soobin, Beomgyu, Taehyun and HueningKai broke the news to fans on the second day of their live TXT FANLIVE PRESENT X TOGETHER event in Seoul, which celebrated the fifth anniversary of their 2019 debut as a group. Premiering the EP’s animated logo for the crowd, TXT confirmed that the project will arrive April 1.
The “Sugar Rush Ride” singers went on to share three differently colored variants of TOMORROW‘s cover art on Instagram. Each one features the band’s signature “X” logo adorned with drawings of angel wings, stars and roses.
The boys also appear in individual concept videos teasing the new mini album on Instagram, with Yeonjun, Soobin, Beomgyu, Taehyun and HueningKai each wearing color-changing crowns and posing for the camera as wind blows through their hair. All five of the clips feature a snippet of angelic-sounding music composed of harp and string instruments.
Minisode 3: TOMORROW will serve as TXT’s first release since October’s 10-track album The Name Chapter: FREEFALL, which debuted at No. 3 on the Billboard 200. Based on the title, TOMORROW will become the band’s third installment in its “minisode” series, following 2020’s minisode 1: Blue Hour and 2022’s minisode 2: Thursday’s Child — both of which included five songs.
See examples of the covers and concept videos for minisode 3: TOMORROW, arriving April 1, below.
#txt#tomorrow x together#240304#article#billboard#soobin#yeonjun#beomgyu#taehyun#hueningkai#minisode 3 tomorrow
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Me!
Firstly the Video is a Haylor fest, as the lead single for Lover. It opens with Brendan and Taylor fighting in french.... made while Harry had a french girlfriend... Olivia and Meredith appear as daughters, a reference to 'Who is Olivia's Real Father?' in the Reputation TS Tabloid. Brendan then wears a floral suit (like Harry's on LOT 07/11/2018 San Jose, California) to give Taylor a kitten to make sure we know it is Harry laughing in the Olivia video. Benjamin also appears in the green room of the Lover video.
Actually before that open, a pastel coloured snake turns into butterfly's. There is a butterfly in every Lover video, on Taylors shirt and in a snake/butterfly tattoo in You need to Calm Down.
Of course, Harry has a large butterfly tattoo and in one Direction song he wrote, Olivia Harry said " The summertime, butterflies / All belong to your creation / I love you, it's all I do, I love you" he also tweeted this lyric before it was released. There is an adorable video of Harry implying Olivia is an emotion not a person.
A Ghost/Phantom reference for HYGTG, Stockholm Syndrome, Two Ghosts & Ready For it
And Taylor is walking in clouds which is referred to in the HS videos for Daylight and Late Night talking.
Throughout, Brendan Urie wears several suits that look like what Harry wore on Live on Tour, I put them all at the end. My favorite is this blue one where Harry sang Shania Twain's 'Still the One' at Madison Square Garden. (He loves TS so much, June 22 2018) TS invited Niall to play Wembly the same night. The other reference is from LOT Chicago, June 30, 2018.
Finally, the leaked Two Ghosts video gets a reference at the end. This makes me even more curious about why we never saw it, if Taylor did - did it serve it's purpose????? The stills were leaked in April 2020 - Me! was released April 2019, were they leaked for an anniversary of the video? Two Ghosts had been a single in 2017.
Lyrics
I promise that you'll never find another like me
I know that I'm a handful, baby, uh
I know I never think before I jump
And you're the kind of guy the ladies want
(And there's a lot of cool chicks out there)
I know that I went psycho on the phone
I never leave well enough alone
And trouble's gonna follow where I go
(And there's a lot of cool chicks out there)
A theme is that they cannot replace each other, Harry says as much in As it was with "Seems you cannot be replaced / And I'm the one who will stay, oh."
Not thinking before jumping is also similar to a Little Freak lyric 'jumped in feet first, broke an ankle, karma rules'.
He is indeed the kind of guy ladies want, which is covered again in Gold Rush. Taylor has a similar lyric to 'never leave well enough alone' in the One "digging up the grave again"
But one of these things is not like the others
Like a rainbow with all of the colors
Baby doll, when it comes to a lover
I promise that you'll never find another like
Me-e-e, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
I'm the only one of me
Baby, that's the fun of me
Eeh-eeh-eeh, ooh-ooh-ooh-ooh
You're the only one of you
Baby, that's the fun of you
And I promise that nobody's gonna love you like me-e-e
Harry has a similar lyric in Adore you "Walk in your rainbow paradise (paradise) Strawberry lipstick state of mind (state of mind)". Again, the idea of the song is that there is no one like Taylor or Harry for the other. As it Was has the same idea: "In this world, it's just us / You know it's not the same as it was".
Someday (Harry sung by Ariana Grande and Buble has a similar lyric to the last line “And I can't lie, it's hard seeing you with her 'Cause I know she can't love you like I can”)
I know I tend to make it about me
I know you never get just what you see
But I will never bore you, baby
(And there's a lot of lame guys out there)
And when we had that fight out in the rain
You ran after me and called my name
I never wanna see you walk away
(And there's a lot of lame guys out there)
How You Get the Girl opens with a reference to a fight in the rain and the first ghost reference "Stand there like a ghost / Shaking come the rain, rain / She'll open up the door / And say, are you insane, -ane?"
'Cause one of these things is not like the others
Livin' in winter, I am your summer
Baby doll, when it comes to a lover
I promise that you'll never find another like
Taylor again references summertime from Olivia, and living in winter (London). There is a similar lyric in So it Goes, "I make all your gray days clear"
Then comes spelling is fun which think it is another Harry loves Scrabble reference.
Here are more of Brendan's outfits and their LOT counterparts
The California outfit has a.... Medicine reference.
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