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lizmindpalace · 4 months

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Hoping for snow

This is inspired by Hoping for snow by The vamps.

Summary: Lucifer faces a lonely Christmas eve.

Word count: 2 K

Status: Complete.

Warnings: Angsty, but not too much.

Ice covered the glasses as snowflakes fell over the dark lands before his eyes. Coldness was creeping up on the night as it was slowly clasping his heart, leaving a bitter taste in his lips.

He had longed a bit of privacy in his studio, but he did not expect his bedroom would become some kind of burial chamber due to the embracing silence overflowing it, drowning the distant echoes of the joyful expressions and catchy songs of the other inhabitants of the manor since snow had covered the lands and they had left in order to enjoy the view and the amusements that the white material brought with it; and because now that he had some time alone with himself; his dark thoughts slowly encroached his mind.

A sigh escaped his withered lips; and as an attempt to increase his body's temperature he fired the chimney up, however, as he had noticed over the last days, no heat was able to bring warmth to his body or his heart and he was condemned to crawl throughout the nights with a dead weight in his chest.

The view from outside promised to bring some kind of short redemption to his despondent persona, yet, despite his efforts to avoid it, he found himself staring at the main gate, as though the part missing from his heart would suddenly show up at the entrance, changing the loneliness overflowing him and turning it into the Christmas spirit he was missing; but it was not like that and so, depression grasped his soul and he found irritating and aggravating the joy the others were having.

A distant memory crossed his mind as he closed his eyelids, bringing the noise of the crowds and the aromas of baked food, and mistletoe. A slow waltz that belonged to the nutcracker was being played in the background. He had found a quieter spot behind a white wooden door, where a mid-size christmas tree was standing in a corner, and it'd be a room in complet darkness except for its dim lights and the crackling fireplace. The hubbub of the guests was diminished once the door was closed, although the musicians were still able to impregnate the environment with their skilled movements on the strings.

"Remember, it's... one, two and three".

The cheeks of the recipient of his instructions turned red, as their right hands were intertwined and his left hand rested on her waist, controlling the movements of both of them. She had refused to dance that night because she had said she was not skilled and probably would stain his reputation if they danced in the centre of the dancefloor; he had said it did not matter, yet she was not comfortable and the demon had to find a secret spot, so the two of them could enjoy the evening together.

They both swung and turned around throughout the room, and when the music met an end, their faces were so close, she could not help but feel her bloodstream rush and warm up her face, his playfully eyes sparkled and the grin on his face disappeared when his lips touched hers.

A speck of warmth was brought to his chest at the thought, since this year, a mere thought from afar was all they were, and whilst everyone wished for snow and the holidays to begin, he just wished she could come home.

"What do you mean you won't spend Christmas here at the Devildom?" it came as a shock hearing those words leaving her mouth, in his mind he could not get a grasp of the idea going through her mind. Christmas was supposed to be a date to spend with those who were special... at home.

"I have to go home". His face remained neutral, yet she noticed the change in the sparkle of his eyes, as though light was abandoning them, and he gave her a cold gaze. She thought of rephrasing, explaining that she missed her human family despite seeing the Devildom as home as well, but it was too late, and he was speaking again.

"None of the inhabitants of the Devildom aimed to retain you here, you may go home and do not be concerned, for we'll manage and carry out our normal activities even if a student and member of the student council is away".

His cold voice made her heart froze, no more words were needed to let her know she was not essential and not even required in their... his life. She looked away and nodded at the rough answer and headed for her room. The next day, she vanished into the snowstorm, and no one had known anything about her, and they knew she was home, she had to tell them just because Beel had been starving to death due to the research and the worry and she had to say something, although she asked them with a begging voice not to mention anything to Lucifer.

Lucifer knew well though, she would receive calls and would also exchange messages with his brothers, the angels, even Diavolo and Barbatos, and he was aware Solomon would pay visits to her more often than he would have liked.

He was not looking forward to celebrating Christmas this year, and he had made a business trip and tried to stay away long enough to skip the holiday, however, he had to return home sooner because Diavolo requested him to be present, and now he was drowning in the melancholy of his studio and in his dark thoughts.

"You should call her and apologise". A voice coming from his right shoulder whispered, he frowned and turned around.

"What are you talking about?"

"MC, of course. We all miss her, but I can perceive some kind of special discomfort in you, I'd even say... guilt".

Simeon reflected holding a tray with gingerbread and Lucifer looked away. He sighed.

"I don't need you to tell me what to do". The bitterness in his voice confirmed Simeon's suspicion who only shrugged.

"It was only a piece of advice, but you're right, you don't need advice I can see you don't need it, you're fine". He left Lucifer alone, who once more felt a gulp of regret running down his throat.

He remained dead silent for some minutes; it was hard to believe that it had been months and he had not dared to take the first step on making things right. His gloved fingers tapped over the screen of the phone with a lack of confidence that he found ridiculous. The first attempt failed, as did the second, the third and the fourth. But now that he had made up his mind, he'd not quit his resolution.

"Is everything alright down there?"

"It is".

"Then why would you wake me up in the middle of the night?"She faked a sleepy tone of voice so she would not give away the fact she had been also up and thinking about him.

"I wanted to talk to you".

A sigh coming from the other side of the line hurt his pride, although it was in fact already hurt. He hesitated for a moment, knowing that he had to continue and to say something convincing enough if he wanted another chance.

"And it has to be now? I mean if you were willing to wait months for having this conversation, I don't think it'd hurt to wait a couple of hours". She tried, it was some kind of trial for him, in her mind if he accepted the deal, he would lose everything.

"I was an idiot".

"Are you calling me to state the obvious? I thought you had something more important to say, well then..."

"I'm sorry, MC".

"It's been months, Lucifer, do you think saying sorry will fix anything?"

He held his breath for some seconds, and she thought of hanging up.

"I let my pride get in the way, I acted as an absolute brainless individual, and I'm here begging for your forgiveness".

"You were an idiot, yes". She sighed, making his cheeks blush. "I don't know if the words said on the other side of the line are enough to forgive your stupidity, for the months you were silent as if I was the one blame; I accept I should have chosen other words, or broaden my explanation, but you refused to talk, you left me in darkness for months and now you want to fix this with a phone call".

Her voice was broken; she had obviously suffered due to what had happened too.

"The only reason I'm not kneeling on my knees right in front of you is because I thought you'd have problems with your family if I showed there..."

She sighed once more.

"MC, I was confused because I thought we were family now, after everything we've gone through, yet I have to accept I was an idiot and my words were cruel and did not make any sense, and my silence was a decision I highly regret, sentiment was overflowing my senses and I know it might not be enough reason to grant me your forgiveness... but I miss you... and I love you, endlessly, and nothing will ever change that, and I shall respect your decision of spending your time where you feel the best. And although it's hard, for me, if I must resign from my happiness for you to find yours, I'll gladly accept it".

His deep voice was stained with sorrow that struck her heart.

"Lucifer... the problem is that you don't listen and jump over conclusions, and I wonder if you will ever change. You don't know me better than I do myself".

The words were stolen from his mouth as he found himself speechless and silence turned into an uncomfortable vortex.

"I appreciate your apology, though, good night".

The sound of the broken line left his heart beating fast, and a bitter taste in his lips ran down his heart, he took a seat in front of the window, and sighed while a tear rolled down his cheek, his pride was hurt, but especially his heart. He had not even had the chance to say happy holidays. He stared at the main entrance of the House of Lamentation, everyone had been waiting for the snow to fall, but he was waiting for her to come home, and his heart shattered at the realisation she would not be there.

As though they were a waterfall, his eyes started leaking and suddenly the picture of the landscape became blurry, the characters became only moving stains in the iced glass, and just a minute later shadows took over them, for blackness was everything he could be aware of.

"Always overworking yourself to the point of exhaustion".

He heard a whispering voice close to his ears, and his eyes opened wide just to realise no one was outside and the woman of his dreams was not walking towards the entrance. Although, he realised there was some kind of change in the environment since some kind of light came from his back, he turned around and found some Christmas decorations spreading light in the darkness.

"You came..." maybe it was the fact he was still asleep, or maybe he had really missed her, but the avatar of pride stood up, wobbled towards her and wrapped his arms around her.

"I made it home... Merry Christmas, Lucifer". She whispered.

And as only answer, he placed his lips into hers. There would be time to reach agreements and ask for forgiveness, for now, the only think that mattered was seeing each other's eyes glowing in the quietness of the night under the Christmas lights.

Merry Christmas!