Redemption
Charlie x GN!Reader
Platonic Relationship [💛]
Angst & Comfort
PART 1 (Part 2 has not yet been written)
Anon Request: "based around the reader leaving the hotel with almost no notice (perhaps another guest upset them with something unintentionally hurtful). Charlie's obviously worried when she can't find them anywhere , hours later she finds them back in their room but they're reluctant to speak to anyone initially."
I hope this is up to your standards! Sorry if I didn't include everything (I'll try to do the rest of your request aka: more comfort in part 2)
TW: Angst, panic/anxiety attack (not sure which one it would fall into mainly)
No one wants me here.
I can't be saved.
I can't be redeemed.
I can't do it.
I can't.
I can't.
I can't.
I need to leave.
I’ll let her down.
I don't want to see her face, when she realizes I’m a lost cause.
My fingers twitch painfully against my face as tears start to fall from my eyes.
The salt burns.
It burns more than when I was alive.
It burns more than the voracious death that walked me to hell.
Every step down was painful enough, I don't want to imagine the climb up.
She is going to hate me.
They already do.
Their eyes: filled with more hate than mine with tears.
Their mouths: armed with words sharper than the blade of an exorcist.
It burns me like a circle of salt, my tears, their words, their hate, determined to push me away like the demon I am.
I deserve this.
I deserve to be damned to Hell.
I have no place in Heaven.
I ran.
I ran from her, my best friend. My only hope, Charlie.
I wonder if she will worry.
She shouldn’t.
I hear a voice, calling me.
My back slid against a harsh textured brick wall, the surface threatened to slice through my skin. My face turned up to the red hot sky, mourning Heaven. I was no longer crying, but a phantom of the salt blazing in my eyes and down my face remained.
I heard my name
“Charlie?” Why was she here? Was she looking for me?
Again, I heard it. My name, closer this time.
“Where did you go? Please come back,” Her voice was full of pain, worry, and panic… for me.
“I'm here,” My voice was shallow, my throat sore from mourning.
I heard my name said once more before footsteps made their way into the alleyway.
“Oh thank goodness I found you. Are you ok? What happened? Why did you leave?” She asked all in one breath. I couldn't find my words, only able to spit out a simple statement.
“I'm sorry.”
Charlie’s gaze softened even more than it had been, understanding laced with worry. She embraced me, soft strands of her loose blonde hair tickled my face, “You don’t need to be sorry, let’s get you back to the hotel and we can talk about whatever is bothering you.”
I leaned into her, allowing myself a moment of her comfort.
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The tos rewatch commences.
I rewatched the man trap a few months ago. Nothing new to add other than I am deeply confused why they decided to open on that one. Legit I don’t get it. Like I love Bones but Where no man has gone Before is such a better episode.
Anyway the Charlie X rewatch was just as cringe as the first watch. I think it’s more just the slow build up that annoyed me. Like it took half an episode for anyone to realize something was off besides this kid being a little awkward.
And Charlie himself offering very little room in the way of sympathy. Granted I think that’s part of the point. That in spite of everything he did, Kirk still tried to save him at the end. I think it’s also nice that Spock wasn’t at all smug about being right that some other alien saved Charlie’s life.
It’s nice seeing the OG effects too.
I also enjoyed how reluctant Kirk was to step into a father figure role, but then slid into it so naturally right before the big reveal. It’s sorta the bread crumbs of what will be revealed to be his internal conflict. Work vs personal life. It shows how he can be a dad, but always stops himself because to him, his job as captain is more important.
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Of all the risks that Kirk took in his career, none was greater than the time when he let his anti-tech doctor play with the bridge buttons like crazy. It was just because of Kirk's legendary luck, that the Enterprise didn't blow up right there.
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