Elhokar: It says here on your resume that you’re very creative?
Wit: Yes, Your Majesty.
Elhokar: And what exactly is it you create?
Wit: Problems.
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Currently living for these two wobs:
To summarize, Hoid is a tricksy hobbit who has been legitimately hornswoggled.
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i think Topaz is my fave of Hoid’s names just cause its actually nice and its like the only one so far that hasnt made me narrow my eyes exasperatedly like “yeah of course thats one of your fucking names what else would it fukkin be”
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@basket-of-radiants happy valentines day
template here
if anyone can come up with a pickup line from “Cephandrius Maxtori” they’ll win... why does he have so many names
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Adolin: Okay, next person to say “weird flex, but okay” is getting kicked in the spheres.
Wit: Preposterous boast, but alas.
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Hoid: This was fun. We should do this again, just hang out and insult each other.
Kelsier: I am going to kill you.
Hoid: Eh, I’ll believe it when I see it. Same time next week?
Kelsier: …Fine.
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Amaram: Enough! How dare you mock me in such a manner!
Wit: Well. How would you like me to mock you? I take requests.
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Wit: I apologize for not laughing, but that was a poor excuse of a joke, Brightness.
Navani: What’s even worse is that you laughed at your own poor joke.
Wit: I laugh at my own jokes because I am my target audience. You just happen to be here.
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Kelsier: One of the many things that baffles me about Hoid is his ability to go unmurdered.
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Hoid: You can trust me.
Anyone who’s paying any attention: I don’t trust the way you just said I could trust you.
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Shallan: Wow! You played him like a fiddle!
Hoid: Oh no, fiddles are actually quite difficult to master.
Hoid: I played that motherfucker like the cheap kazoo he is.
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Hoid: I love sarcasm; it's like punching people, but with words.
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Hoid: Ah, Survivor. Did you miss me?
Kelsier: With every arrow so far.
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Sadeas: Wow you're really campaigning for bitch of the year, huh?
Wit: As the defending champion, does that make you nervous?
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