Tumgik
#cas suddenly thinks maybe this isn’t something human boy best friends do
dorimena · 3 years
Note
I seriously love Bakugou and Todoroki. Especially Bakugou in his tight winter costume in S5. And I love Dom reader and femdom more than a sub. Can I pleaseee request Todoroki or Bakugou where the reader is recording them playing with a vibrator or dildo but get overstimulated because they can't cum from the cock ring because it's their punishments since they forgot their anniversary so reader also forget to stop the toys even if they beg reader to stop in the camera.if you don't mind the request
I don’t mind~ May your sin be forgiven with this prayer (˘⌣˘人) This sounds really, really sexy, so I had a blast imagining and putting this into words.
Tumblr media
𝔠𝔥𝔞𝔯𝔞𝔠𝔱𝔢𝔯; bakugou katsuki & todoroki shoto
𝔴𝔬𝔯𝔡 𝔠𝔬𝔲𝔫𝔱; 2.1k
𝔴𝔞𝔯𝔫𝔦𝔫𝔤𝔰; fem!reader, sex toys (dildo, vibrators, cockring), overstimulation, cam sex (recording), exhibitionism, semi-public, dom!reader, sub!character
𝔬𝔱𝔥𝔢𝔯 𝔱𝔞𝔤𝔰; balcony sex (?), threesome, whiny Bakugou, weeping Todoroki, punishment, orgasm denial, aged-up characters, Bakugou and Todoroki are both 20+
𝔰𝔦𝔡𝔢𝔫𝔬𝔱𝔢; Unravel Me by Sabrina Claudio and Fuck Love by XXXTENTACION ft. Trippie Reid somehow helped me piece this together. Sorry if there are any typos! It’s not proofread.
Tumblr media
𝕯𝖔𝖚𝖇𝖑𝖊 𝕿𝖗𝖔𝖚𝖇𝖑𝖊
“I-I-”
“W-we! We-”
You watch as both men struggle to speak, trying to ask for forgiveness, once again. It’s the fourth time this hour, the way Bakugou tries to open his mouth wide enough to not slur his words and Todoroki tries to correct Bakugou while keeping himself coherent.
It’s cute how the smartest guys in your life seem to fail miserably in having a decent human conversation
Well, you can’t blame them either, not with the way you keep toying around with the intensity of the vibrators taped to their dicks, cum drying on the toy enough to show anyone who looks up on the balcony that these two men, with such stature and muscles, are easily falling apart.
“Speak better, sweethearts. Can’t have you guys sounding so dumb on camera, right?”
Oh yeah, and you’re even recording them, in case anyone else would want to watch the rising proheros break.
You’re not actually going to show them to the public, but maybe to their friends. Maybe Kirishima would like to watch? Kaminari? Sero? Or maybe Iida? Midoriya?
Heck, the girls might even ask some day.
But you know what makes you curious about showing this video to their friends?
The way both Bakugou and Todoroki are presenting themselves beautifully, as if they’re pro porn stars saving the wanks rather than proheros saving the day.
It’s cute, how Bakugou’s puffing his muscular chest in the air as if they were the juiciest tits ever, which they are, and how Todoroki is somehow sensually humping the air with every buzz against his furious red tip.
Your eyes stay on the screen, making sure the lighting is entering nice enough to make it seem like they’re glowing, other than their post-orgasm glow.
How many times have they come by now?
“Babes, how many times have you cum?”
They both shake their heads.
Of course they wouldn’t know. They just take what they’re receiving. They’re making up for their mistake.
You still pout, tapping the touchable screen to even out the weird lighting as another cloud covers the sun, again.
Maybe giving their punishment out on the balcony wasn’t such a good idea.
As you look down to the floor below them, seeing the once growing puddle of cum slowly be pushed by the wind to trail off towards the side of the balcony, seeping through the small opening and probably dripping feets below is what keeps you positive, happy knowing people will eventually look up and wonder ‘what the fuck is going on?’
Well, either the drying cum gives away your dirty activities or it’s Todoroki’s wailing as an orgasm is ripped out of him forcibly.
Pity nothing comes from his tip, not since some time ago.
They both thought they deserve to cum and be satisfied?
Maybe you should’ve put the cock rings on them before making them come the first two times, but their reactions and frustration with how little some cum leaves or how their body reacts with the dry convulsions makes you giggle in pride.
Pretty babes.
“Todoroki, shut up. You’ll make the neighbors look over- oh! Oh, that’s what you want? I understand.”
And poor Todoroki is just shaking his head way too fast, enough to give him whiplash, but you just snicker as you reach over to a white box.
An unfamiliar white box.
Bakugou’s eyeing Todoroki in pity, wondering what the other will have to endure as he keeps trying to fight off his orgasm.
How he’s doing it, he has no clue. But god his dick hurts.
He’s been wanting to cum for the past 30 minutes, but with the way he resents this stupid cock ring, he’d rather not humilliate himself in front of you and figure out how else to please you.
Maybe he should offer to eat you out?
The way his body is super tense and his breathing is shallow doesn’t escape your attention, less how much pity is showing itself on his face as he shakes his face in disapproval with Todoroki’s recent dry orgasm.
Good thing you invested in this double dildo.
Neither of the boys take notice with how you’re lubing the dildo that looks like it’d belong to you. It’s quite pretty, long and thick enough to hopefully please your boys.
Even if they won’t get to cum.
“Bakugou,” you start, smiling as you watch his once bright eyes suddenly darken as shock takes over his face.
What the
“Fuck is that?!” He yells out, accidentally letting his body relax as it finally submits to the vibrations of the toy, his yell turning into an unbroken series of high-pitched moans, his hips losing control with how incredibly close he is.
“A double dildo, baby. Look! It even looks like if I’d be fucking you two, isn’t that fun?”
Bakugou shakes his head, gasping ‘no, no, no!’ before he falls forward, balancing himself with his palms as he sobs through his first dry orgasm. Maybe he shouldn’t have held back for so long, not with the way his body unforgivably goes through waves of pure unsatisfied pleasure.
Todoroki, meanwhile, is nodding eagerly, eyes welling up in happy tears at the idea of getting fucked, in getting more pleasure and love from you, even if this is meant to be punishment.
But, why are you exposing them like this?
They forgot your anniversary.
Your 3rd anniversary as a throuple, the anniversary Bakugou swallowed his bite and pride to confess to you how much he loves you and how he’s falling in love with Todoroki too; the anniversary Todoroki finally let loose the dam of emotions and even if a bit tipsy, agreed he too was falling in love with both you and Bakugou, how he hasn’t ever felt so understood, so loved, so safe.
So, yeah, how dare they forget?
But if they wanna be dumb, you’ll help with that.
It’s been a while now since you’ve turned off the vibrators and since you’ve prepped them well enough to take the dildo together.
The scene in front of you is gorgeous, ethereal, sublime.
You just want to ruin them like this everyday.
“Aagh! Ugh! F-fuck! Sl-slow do-own! Haaah~”
“S-sorry! ‘m s-sorry! Ca-an’t! Nnah…”
It’s cute watching them argue a bit, how Bakugou can’t take how fast Todoroki is fucking himself back on the dildo while also pushing the toy deeper into Bakugou. And Todoroki doesn’t actually look sorry, not with how his eyes keep crossing everytime he manages to get the toy to hit his sweet spot.
He’s trying so hard to win your forgiveness by putting up with this, but it’s kind of sad knowing you’re not going to stop anytime soon, or take off the cockrings.
Not like they know anyways.
Bakugou might’ve known, might’ve noticed, with the way he’s trying to keep this dragging as slow and steady as possible; with the way his precum is struggling to escape the confines the cockring gives; with how much his red and miserably hard dick keeps jumping with every push Todoroki’s ass gives him.
You’re lounging about, resisting the urge to get off to the scene in front of you, or else they’d start begging to let them please you as apologies, and knowing how sentimental this day is for you, you know you’d immediately give in.
But this is punishment for their forgetfulness.
So, as the cherry on top of this cum covered balcony sex sundae, you’ll also forget about them.
It lasted for a while as you got bored with how neither of them seemed to be reaching another orgasm.
If only the dildo had a vibration option.
But the vibrators still taped on their dicks will have to do.
So you turn them back on, and oh would you look at that! The cockrings could also vibrate.
The pleasure-filled scream coming from Bakugou and the cute, drawled whine of your name Todoroki lets out makes you feel grateful for thinking ahead, kinda.
Now both boys are writhing against each other, different ways to let out their desperations and dying need to properly cum manifesting in either rapid fucking on the dildo to simply submitting to the minstruations of the other party.
To put it in better, shorter words, Bakugou took the reigns in fucking the dildo in such rigor and strength that made Todoroki lay on his chest, ass still up as he simply took everything Bakugou kept pushing into him, mouth opened as hiccups and drool escaped. His eyes settle onto your form, watering as more tears gather on his waterline before dropping to the ground his face is resting on.
It feels so good, so, so good he can’t believe this is punishment. Even if he hasn’t been able to properly cum for some time now, he still thinks you’re being nice with them. Must be because of the anniversary that you sadly reminded them of.
He’s trying his best to push back on the dildo, wanting Bakugou to feel just as good as him, just as fucked as him.
And everytime the toy hits him just right, Todoroki sees stars, feels an all too familiar tingly sensation as he tries to grab his dick, but when you turn the vibrator up even more, his hands just lay on the ground, nails raking as he tries gripping on something, anything.
He really, really, really needs to cum. He wants to cum.
Keep being a good boy for you.
But all he gets is a choked sob of your name leaving his mouth as his eyes roll to the back of his head, eyebrows furrowed upwards as the strongest orgasm takes over his body, he’d be convinced there’s an earthquake happening. Small whimpers of how much it hurts leaves his mouth soon after, his dick twitching pathetically as it slowly becomes purple, barely a dribble of cum managing to escape.
Bakugou is in no good shape either, loudly moaning and crying out how good you’re fucking him, how he’s taking your cock, how good he is being, to please, please, please let him cum.
But actually cum, to let him contaminate the floor even more with his sperm, to let him taste it even, if that would make you happy and forgive him.
He’s close to wailing by now, hips going impossible faster as he forgets all about poor Todoroki riding out his high.
And the moment you turn on the vibrators intensity, he gets dizzy, breath getting stuck in his throat as his brain tries to process the spiraling of his warm, hot orgasm growing too much, burning him everywhere as if it were lava.
Small sparks sound on his fingertips as he howls and gets hurled into his own orgasm, back arching and head thrown back as his eyes roll to the back of his head.
He didn’t even notice the tears rolling down his cheeks, not with how his mind only cares about how good yet bad this orgasm feels.
Not even how loud his high-pitched wails of how good it feels, how much it hurts, is enough to alarm anyone near the radius of this defiling act.
Both boys are left shuddering or twitching through their intense dry orgasm, the way their bodies react with the built up cum in their dicks, with how hot and how wreckless they’re becoming with their quirks.
Still connected with the dildo, neither move, unless it’s some pathetic hump to help drag the orgasm a little more before they try to even remember what letter your name begins with.
Bakugou’s whimpering.
Todoroki’s crying silently.
Both blinking the haze out of their vision as they remember about the buzzing, about the relentless feeling on their really, really sensitive dicks.
Bakugou’s crying now.
Todoroki’s just busy mewling like a slut by now.
And when they both turn to look at you, they gasp so loudly one of them begins choking on air and the other with saliva.
Where’d you go?!
Come back!
And ‘come back’ and ‘forgive us’ is the only thing anyone could possibly hear for the next few hours as they fuck the dildo and let the vibrators do their job in milking more and more orgasms out of them.
If only they’d look closer, they would’ve seen a post-it note stuck on the tripod of the camera telling them you went to the kitchen and that they better come crawling.
Oh well, you’re enjoying the view anyways as you sip on some liquor of your liking, turning off the vibrators as you slowly walk to the balcony.
The sun’s beginning to set. You’re not that cruel in letting them fuck each other in the cold.
The bedroom is much better, and comfier.
Perfect for you to finish the job and let them finally, finally, get their deserving orgasms.
You’ll be sure to milk out
Every.
Single.
Drop.
2K notes · View notes
astermacguffin · 3 years
Text
What if the Mark of Cain manifests differently when it's imprisoning God and not the Darkness? If the Darkness makes the Mark bearer go insane with unbridled want for destruction, then what does sealing God make you do?
An obsessive desire for creation? Creation to the point of corruption? (Think of the Shimmer from the film Annihilation. Continuous reproduction to the point of begetting alien, cancer-like entities. A refracted, distorted notion of creation.)
Okay, so canon divergence from The Trap. They successfully seal away Chuck, then Castiel bears the Mark. (Jack won't be back until later episodes, so he's not here yet.)
At first, they think he's fine. Cas says he's not feeling any bloodlust just yet. (He does feel a certain itch under his skin. Not a desire to murder, but a desire to do...something. He doesn't tell this to anyone.)
His grace is getting stronger, almost archangel-like (if not more). It's incredibly helpful for hunts, and Cas is happy to feel his wings healthy again after a long time. Sam is happy for him, but Dean is suspicious of things (especially since he's a previous Mark bearer).
After a while, Cas starts feeling...burdened, almost bloated by grace. (After all, he does have access to an infinite supply of it.) He needs to have an outlet for it.
Cas tells them so and Sam suggests healing people. Dean gives the green light on the condition that he remains invisible and he doesn't go Godstiel on them again.
It's a great outlet, and for the first few weeks they start feeling normal again. But unfortunately, healing stops being enough to relieve Cas of his excess grace anymore. The mass healings start to pile up all across the globe and it catches everyone's attention. Some think it's a blessed miracle, some think it's a sign of the end times. They make him slow down on the healings after that.
Without an outlet, however, Cas starts feeling antsy and pained. They brainstorm on possible alternatives. Cas suggests going to Heaven and saving it from collapse by healing his brethren's wings and creating more angels out of consenting souls in Heaven.
He explains Heaven's endangered and dwindling numbers. Sam agrees that it would hit two birds in one stone: relieve Cas from excess grace and prevent the extinction of angels. Dean doesn't like the idea of more winged dicks so he shoots down the idea. Eileen says that since Cas is the one in pain, he should be the one to decide.
Ultimately, Cas defers to Dean's judgment (as always). Sam protests, arguing that he can't just shoulder that pain. Cas replies: "I've suffered worse, Sam."
Cas doesn't complain about the pain for about a week, so for a while, everyone believes him when he said he can shoulder the pain. One day, Dean finds him outside the bunker, groaning in pain as he bleeds himself out, his grace pouring into the ground and sprouting plants. Dean sees this and is finally convinced to allow Cas to make more angels.
What follows then is a series of escalating events:
While Sam and Eileen are practicing their witchcraft for spell they need in a hunt, Cas suggests to enhance Sam's physical and magical abilities using his grace. "It will make the process faster and safer," he reasons. He agrees, but Dean eyes this suspiciously.
During one of their hunts, they encounter a young and freshly-turned vampire. The boy begs them not to kill him, and Cas gives him a proposal. "Promise not to feed on humans ever again and I shall cure you of your hungers and your pains. Pledge your allegiance to me and you shall never be afraid of yourself ever again." The boy agrees, and before Dean could even protest, Cas slices his palm and feeds the vampire his grace.
They argue about the grace-feeding in the Impala. Dean notices Sam's pointed lack of complaints and figures it out. "You're in on this, aren't you? How long has Cas been doing this? He's going Michael behind our backs and you're letting him?"
Sam argues that it's different because Cas isn't making super monsters; he's making them less "monstrous" (whatever that means). Sam's obsession with his own "purity" is key to understanding him here.
One time, Dean catches Cas in his "garden" ("forest" seems more apt with how lush the greens already are) creating butterflies and bees out of thin air using his grace alone.
Reports of the miraculously healed people suddenly gaining new abilities like increased strength, heightened senses, and prophecy start popping up. Some are experiencing phantom limbs, talking about their sprouting "wings."
Sam is becoming addicted to Cas' grace to the point that he willingly lets himself be hurt in hunts just so Cas can cure him. Dean confronts him about this, but Sam just argues that he's "never felt this pure before." Eileenn shares the same concern as Dean.
Hunts are becoming less frequent the more monsters are being "cleansed" by Cas. The world is becoming disconcertingly quiet.
Cas' "garden" is starting to emit this strange aura. The plants and creatures growing inside it are starting to look more...alien.
One of the original angels goes to Dean and tells him of Heaven's affairs. The Host is stable again, but the angels he created are...not exactly angels. They're graced up and they sustain Heaven, but their true forms are "horrifying and incomprehensible, even to an angel." The angel adds that more than 60% of Earth's creatures have already been touched by Cas' grace.
The final nail in the coffin is when Dean catches Cas in the garden fiddling with his angel blade. It's emitting a strange glow, vibrating a subtle hum and looking as if it's liquid, flowing and distorting here and there.
Dean asks him what he's holding. "Oh, this?" Cas responds. "This is the Last Blade. Last, not in terms of time but in concept, for no other blade shall ever compare to it. The spark of creation. Fiat lux."
Dean's heart sinks. Of course. The First and the Last, Alpha and Omega. "Cas...the Mark, I think i-it's scrambling your brain, man."
"I know," he replies, eyes wet and apologetic. It's a small moment of lucidity amidst weeks and months of...whatever that was.
"Okay, okay, so you're still you, that's... that's good. Okay." Dean doesn't know how to approach this. Give him a fight and he'll know what to do, but this? Watching his best friend, the love of his life, be distorted into something incomprehensible? Yeah, this is totally beyond him.
"You know, I used to hate Chuck," Cas says. "How could the Father of All Creation be this angry, petulant child? But," he continues, "knowing what I know now, it's either regressing into a petty child or being reduced to insanity."
"Cas...what are you talking about, man?"
"No mind should bear this burden, Dean. No matter how infinite they are," he says, voice trembling in exhaustion.
(more below the cut)
He continues. "The awareness of everything is the awareness of nothing at all. Imagine perceiving every possible piece of information about the world all at once. Seeing light in all its forms all at once: ultraviolet, infrared, etc. Sensing all the neutrinos zip by, sensing gravitational waves, sensing the slighest bit of seismic activity."
Dean doesn't know how to respond, so he lets him go on.
"Knowledge can only ever be a slice of the Totality of Truth. Truth is absolute chaos, and Knowledge is the partial ordering of this chaos. One can sanely approach Truth only through organized paritions of Totality. Why do you think Chuck is so obsessed with stories? Stories are linear and finite; they're sensible snippets of the endless sea of possible worlds."
"So, what? Are you trying to—"
"I'm not trying to justify Chuck's actions, Dean," he interrupts. "I just want to contextualize them. Chuck's simplistic and repetitive narratives are what they are: manifestations of a chaotic Totality, gone insane trying to understand itself. Looking for simple things to hold on to."
Cas takes a deep breath. He speaks with a shaky voice. "I'm barely holding myself together, Dean. I can feel the universe beneath my skin."
He doesn't know what possesses him to ask, but he does it anyway. "What are you holding on to?"
Cas smiles at that. "You."
They stare at each other for a while, frozen where they stand. Cas, with unrestrained affection in his face. Dean, struck by shock and indecision. It's Cas who first breaks the silence.
"I think we both know what needs to be done, while I'm still lucid enough." Cas slices his palm and lets his blood drip down the soil. He then thrusts the Last Blade into the ground, lifting it when the soil glows.
Dean stared in awe as the ground erupts and a familiar shape rises from the hollow. "Is that.."
"The Ma'Lak box, yes. I also enhanced it with the Blade to be able to house things as powerful as me."
"Cas, wait, maybe we can think of another way to—"
"Dean," he says, calmly. "You know there's no other way. I wouldn't ask this of you if there was."
In any other scenario, Dean would've kept arguing, but even he knows that they're running out of time. Sam's grace addiction is getting worse and all the creatures touched by Cas' grace are slowly mutating into eldritch horrors. Dean offers a shaky nod. "Okay."
Tension visibly releases from Cas' body. "Thank you, Dean." He opens the box and enters it with ease. "When you lock this, bury me with the garden's graced soil. Once I'm under, my influence over the world should dampen."
Dean gives a wordless nod. For a while, they just stared at each other, Cas lying down and Dean trying to memorize every inch of his face while he can.
Cas presses his hand into Dean's left shoulder where his mark used to dwell. "My untainted grace," he whisper gently. "Some of it is still inside you. That's probably why you're not as affected by me."
Dean wants to say, I'll always be affected by you, but he holds himself back.
He takes his hand back, a bloody handprint now on Dean's jacket. "I love you, Dean," he says, breathless.
"Cas..."
"I probably would've built up to that if we had more time but," he makes a surprised laugh, "I am, as you would say, already 'losing my marbles', so."
The air quotes would've been funny and endearing in any other scenario, but it just makes Dean's vision blur up with tears.
"Thank you for everything, Dean. I know we've done nothing but repeatedly hurt each other these past few years, but I don't want to spend a deathless eternity with that as my memory of you. I forgive you, even for the things you haven't forgiven yourself for yet. And I'm sorry for everything, especially for ending things like this."
He should probably wipe away his tears to clear his vision, but Dean can do nothing but stare at Cas in awe, in fear, in grief, in reverence. They're both fully crying now.
"Goodbye, Dean."
"Wait, Cas."
Cas looks at him, waiting.
"Can you...can you say it again?"
He doesn't need to clarify what 'it' means. They both know.
With one last mournful smile, Cas says: "I love you, Dean."
And with that, Dean finally gathers all the strength he needs to shut the lid and lock the box. He stares at it for a while, unblinking. He forgot to ask, Can you hear my prayers down there? But it's too late now to ask.
The box automatically lowers itself into the hole it arose from. Now all that's left to do is to cover it again with soil.
Dean doesn't bother with a shovel. He gently buries the box with his hands deep in the soil, some of it getting trapped under his nails. He continues the mindless task, whispering a tireless series of I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I hope you're okay I'm sorry, over and over between his quiet sobs. Cas is quiet inside the box. No screaming or crying. Dean doesn't know if that's better or worse.
When the final clump of soil is pressed into the mound, he suddenly feels it: a visceral shift that echoes throughout the world. The alien glimmer of the garden dims, and the world corrects its axis. Dean screams his agony into the air.
That's how Sam finds him: sprawled over a mound of soil, crying his heart out. Dean doesn't need to say anything: he knows what happened. He pulls his brother off the ground and brings him inside the bunker.
For the first two weeks, Dean cycles through drinking and passing out in various places in the bunker. If he's not wearing the jacket, he's holding it with close to him. Sam gives him a considerable space to grieve while he monitors the world grace problem with Eileen. The grace mutations have significantly dropped since then and everyone's going back to normal.
Unfortunately, that means monsters are getting hungry again. Sam doesn't want to leave his brother alone after going nonverbal with grief and dysfunctional due to alcohol. Eileen assures him that she can handle hunts on their own and that the hunter network that they're building will lessen the workload.
Sam's attempts to sober Dean up finally work, mostly due to the latter having very little strength to protest. Dean remains sober an entire day for the first time in weeks, and all he can think about is: I haven't prayed to Cas in a while. The longing might have reached him, but never a coherent prayer.
The first time he goes out of the bunker in a while, he heads straight to Cas' garden. Sam's glad that he's finally going out because "the sun is good for you" or something, but he's really only here for Cas. He kneels in front of the burial mound (where a patch of an unknown species of flowers is already growing).
The first prayer he says to him in a while is: I love you, Cas. I should've said it while you were still here. Not saying it out loud and just strongly thinking about the words somehow bolsters him to get the words through.
He's crying again, and he knows he's losing coherency. In his mind, he's explaining about his hangups and his regrets and his continuous denial of his own joy, but one constant remains: he's beaming all his love and affection into this prayer.
He's halfway through explaining all the traits that he finds endearing in Cas when suddenly, he feels it like a snap. If the glimmer dimmed when he buried Cas, now it's as if it was never there in the first place. With an unsettling amount of certainty, Dean just knows that Cas is gone. For real, this time.
"C-cas...?" It's the first thing he's said in a while and it sounds rough in his long unused voice.
"CAS! CAS!!! " He's now screaming, ripping away the flowerbed with his bare hands and scratching the soil away. Tears are obstructing his vision, but he has no time to wipe them away. He needs to make sure that is really gone. His hands are bleeding and he doesn't give a damn.
Eventually, Sam comes running towards him. "Dean! Dean, stop!"
He tries to hold his brother back, but Dean just keeps on clawing away soil. "Sammy, Sammy he's gone, he's not there anymore, Sammy I have to see, please, let me see Cas again, I need—" he breaks into sobs again, and like a puppet with its strings cut off, he slumps into Sam.
"Dean, it's okay, it's okay..." he says softly to his shaking brother.
Eventually, when Dean calms down, he looks at the carnage he's done and starts sobbing again. The flowers, his last evidence of Cas being here, are all destroyed. Now Cas truly is gone.
. . .
When Cas first heard Dean's confession prayer, he was overcome with joy. When he realized what that means, however, his stomach suddenly sinks.
He hears before he sees the Empty arrive, slithering like black goo.
"Wow, were you excited enough for eternal slumber that you wanted a preview?" The Shadow teases in Meg's voice.
At first, he was dreading the Empty, but now that he thinks of it, it's actually the perfect prison for him: a vast, endless nothingness for him to fill with his creations.
And if Jack wasn't in Heaven, that only means that he's in the Empty, and he can't wait to see his son again. Even when blinded by the madness of the universe, he can never forget the joy of being a father.
"Yes," he replies, "I'm actually glad you're here now."
. . .
Somewhere around the globe, Billie drops Jack back.
"Don't worry, kid. You'l reunite with your father very soon."
(to be continued)
475 notes · View notes
wormstacheangel · 2 years
Text
Suptober Day 1: Harvest
wc: 1.7k tags: fluff with the side of tiny case fic, established relationship, spoilers but cw they are drugged with cider,
It was a long hunt. One that they accepted as their last one, but, of course, they can never sit still enough not to take an easy local hunt. By local, he means a two-day trip away, but still, they saved a couple of old folks from a ghost, which was fun. Dean sure enjoyed getting thrown around until Cas finally burned the dentures.
Like he said, long hunt.
They stayed at a nice little Airbnb overnight. During breakfast, their waitress told them of the Harvest Festival a town over. Cas was still a little bruised up, but Dean convinced him to go, at least to try their famous apple cider.
“We’ll make a day of it! Just me and you.” With that, Cas agreed, taking Dean’s waiting hand across the table.
The festival was lively when they arrived in the afternoon, with more people than they expected considering the small town they were in but apparently when they say famous they meant it. The tents lined up with food from funnel cakes, donuts, chicken, and some pumpkin spice beer that Dean chugged down even though it tasted like shit.
They eventually ended up with bags filled with treats and souvenirs to take home to the kids--Sam and Eileen fall into the kids’ category. They each held a bag while Dean held Cas’ hand tight in his own, dragging him around from seller to seller, buying and tasting as he went.
“We should start heading home, or soon you’ll be too full to drive.” Cas teased as Dean finished off their bag of apple crisps. “You think we’re feeding an army.”
“Considering how Jack eats, we might as well be.”
“He gets that from you, you know.”
They continued their banter as they made their way out of the festival and to the parking lot.
Then they were stopped by a woman wearing a volunteer pumpkin shirt, “Aw, leaving so soon? Don’t ya wanna stay for the fireworks?”
That quickly took Dean’s attention, brightening up his whole face so much that once again, Cas couldn’t find it in himself to refuse. Instead, earning himself a small kiss on the cheek as a thank you before being was dragged to the car to drop off their items.
Once back in the festival, they walked around until another volunteer told them about the amazing view of the fireworks at the middle of the corn maze.
“It’s a small maze, but in the middle is a little hill. So it’s usually first-come, first-serve. But I haven’t heard of anyone taking it as of now.”
Once again, Dean was easily hooked in and took Cas along for the ride. Not that he was complaining. He enjoyed watching Dean get excited over small things, things he wouldn’t have permitted himself to get excited for before. Of course, it helped when Dean hooked his arm around Cas’s waist to tug him close, whispering, “Ever kissed someone in a corn maze, Cas?”
“You know I haven’t, Dean.”
That did it for Cas. A promise of a spectacular kiss that will put the fireworks to shame.
At the entrance of the maze stood a cider cart, and Cas made a beeline for it. “I at least wanna be warm if you are going to make me walk around in the cold.”
“On the house.” The saleswoman winked at them, and something uneasy passed through them, but they ignored it as she motioned them to go right on in that the fireworks should be starting soon.
They took their hot cider and walked right in, taking hold of their hands as they walked through the maze in comforting silence. Watching the sky above them change from orange and pinks to the dark night sky.
When the maze opened up to a clearing, Dean started to run—taking the small space on top. It was tall enough to see over the cornstalk and watch the lights twinkle from the festival up ahead. They could even see groups of people exiting the maze from their left, and for a second, Dean wondered why they didn’t run into anybody on their walkover. It looked like a lot of people were going through the maze, but nobody passed them.
That thought was quickly dismissed as the first firework lit up the sky, cheers from the crowd echoed the loud boom, and Dean felt secure with an arm hooking around his shoulders to bring him in closer. So they sat there watching the firework show and polishing off their now cold cider until Cas couldn’t wait another second.
Gently, he turned Dean’s face just enough so they could start the kiss slowly. The snap crackle pop of the fireworks above their heads just kept lighting up the fuse between them until Cas asked for them to find another place to spend the night.
“Should we go now?” Dean kissed down Cas’s jaw, feeling the hastily nods instead of seeing it. “Okay. Okay, let’s go.”
They both stood up and took one last look at the view before they got down. Turning left, where they were sure they saw the other folks exit from before. Every few steps, they pulled each other for another kiss-- smiling into them like giddy newlyweds--until they started to realize they’ve been walking for way too long.
The fireworks had long been over, and they soon realized it was their only source of light. It soon became so hard to see anything that they didn’t dare let go of each other’s hands. They tried to go back to the hill to see if maybe they could see the trail from there, but it was like it never existed in the first place.
“Fuck!” They turned the corner to find another dead-end. “Isn’t this shit for children!”
“You know we haven’t seen or heard anyone in a while. Not since-”
“We came in here. I know. I was thinking the same thing earlier when we were on the hill.”
“Why didn’t you say anything then?”
“Cause you stuck your tongue in my mouth and impending doom took a backseat.”
They started to run, calling out for help as they did, but it only felt like they were going in circles.
Then Dean yelled, “Hallelujah!” When a flashlight shined into their faces.
“There you two are. It’s time to go.” The old man sounded so relieved to find them. He didn’t look sinister. He didn’t even make it sound like they were gone for that long. “You two okay?”
“Yeah. Yeah. We got lost, I guess.” Dean shrugged, watching as Cas stared ahead of him.
“Many people do. But they always find their way out, though.”
They followed the man out of the maze while Dean’s knuckles brushed alongside Cas’. They were listening to the man recite a memory when suddenly Cas tugged at Dean’s arm.
“Dean.” It was a shocking gasp.
“Cas?” Dean turned around to watch; Cas’s eyes rolled to the back of his head before dropping like a ragdoll. “Cas!”
And just like that, Cas was out to the world.
Dean fell to his knees to take Cas into his arms, but it was useless. He was heavy, and Dean’s body was starting to tingle, his muscles becoming weaker with every passing second.
“Don’t you worry about your little friend.” The man flashed his light on Dean’s face. Blinding him, but Dean kept glaring up at him. “Just like you, he won’t feel a thing.”
“What did you do to him?” He tried to growl, but it came out too breathless for it to be threatening.
“Same thing we did to you. Same thing we do every year to a couple of tourists.”
Dean could feel himself slipping out of consciousness, but he kept trying to shield Cas from whatever was coming.
“Don’t fight it, boy.” The man walked over to him, raising his flashlight high above his head. “Hate it when they struggle.”
And with a single hit, Dean was knocked out. Falling over Cas. Hoping that at least he gets killed first this time around.
Dean woke up again when he felt someone kicking his legs with little to no effort. His arms were numb, and he realized it was because they were pulled back and tied around some huge boulder.
“Dean?”
Dean recognized the voice and happily groaned out a complaint. “Hate small towns. Creeps. All of them.”
Cas chuckled in relief. “Glad you’re okay.”
Dean blinked a couple of times before his eyes focused, looking across from him to find Cas in the same position as him. Cas looked dirty, a few scratches on his face from being dragged, which made Dean furious—tugging at the ropes that hold him back from checking for any more injuries.
“Fuck! Shit! You okay? They hurt you?”
“Not as much as they did you.” Dean didn’t feel much pain besides the stretch on his shoulders and a raging headache. “I guess that’s not true. You have a swell on your head.”
“Yeah, well, I went down swinging. Unlike you.” Cas didn’t look amused, but he looked concerned. Dean followed his gaze, looking for an explanation or a way out. “I guess we’re either bait or dinner.”
“I’m used to being bait.”
“And I’m used to being dinner. Well, aren’t we a match made in heaven?” This time Cas glared, and weirdly enough, it made Dean relax a little. “Okay, so what’s the plan?”
The plan was simple, while Cas may not be a full-powered-up angel, he was still an angel. And he was stronger than an average human. So with a little more force, Cas had his arms free, rubbing his wrist while shrugging at Dean, “I always see humans do this.”
“Yeah, cause it hurts, so if you can just-” Dean motioned for his arms and Cas quickly reached to untie him. Then, when they were both free, they once again started to look around the empty cornfield. “I say leave now and call for backup; come back in the morning.”
“Considering we have no weapons, I think that would be for the best.”
“So much for date night.” Dean took Cas’s hand, and they quickly started to get themselves out of there. Running like maniacs as they pushed through the endless corn.
“I actually enjoyed myself today. You know, before the whole being drugged and left for dead part.”
“Really? That was my favorite part.” Dean joked, squeezing Cas’s hand as they made their way to safety. “You think all the stuff we bought was drugged?”
“Won’t stop me from having another donut.”
“Man, I love you.”
167 notes · View notes
myhumanweakness · 3 years
Text
I don’t want to be a huge asshole, but...
There are a lot of people trying to find a modicum of positivity in the finale. It’s not about this Destiel-Bibro war that’s happened over the years, it’s not about Cas, it’s not about any of the superficial drama. This finale was the weirdest mixture of OOC and in character writing I have ever seen. 
Things that are in character: 
The brothers put each other first. They are each other’s safe place and stability. Up until the very end. Sam respected Dean’s wishes, stayed with him in his last moments, and let him go gracefully. Sam even went on and had a full life so Dean’s sacrifices weren’t in vain. 
For Dean, Heaven wasn’t perfect without Sam there. And he had this huge sense of relief and happiness when Sam arrived. 
Jack deconstructed the walls of Heaven so that it was a vast place where everyone could be together. They weren’t living out their “best memories” anymore. They were creating new memories eternally with each other. And Bobby recognizing that Jack is like Dean’s son by saying, “That boy of yours...” 
Cas helped build the Heaven that he always dreamed of. Cas always had such a high standard for Heaven, and it always fell short. He helped Jack build a home that was warm and comforting and beautiful and open and loving and true. Everything Cas stood for. 
Bobby, the man Dean adopted as his father, was there to share a beer with him (just like Dean shared with his dad in his childhood). And Bobby was happy and confirmed that Dean is in a Heaven he deserves. 
Sam mourning Dean’s death for the rest of his life, but also living his life to honor Dean. Classic Sam. 
Dean using his last moments to tell Sam how much he loves him and how proud he is. Sam deserved to hear that because we all know Sam looked at Dean as a parental figure. 
Things that are OOC:
Sam not marrying Eileen. The show created this HUGE story arc around Sam and Eileen and their real love and connection. And then they shoot this finale and couldn’t even get an actress that looked like Eileen to stand it the blurry background. Like, I don’t care what you say, it’s NOT open to interpretation. Sam did not end up with Eileen. All of you people who are Sam stans, who say you want your character to be happy and live a full life should be livid. Sam ending up with Eileen wouldn’t have canceled out the fact that Dean was/is his number one person. Dean gave his blessing for Eileen, and he loved her and welcomed her into their lives because he knew Sam loved her and had a genuine connection with her. Having them together would not have ruined the ending in any way. Sam still could have ended up with Dean on that bridge. 
Tumblr media
That woman with the blonde/light brown hair is NOT Eileen. They couldn’t even get an actress with dark brown hair to keep hope alive that they ended up together. Absolutely awful. 
Dean just accepting Cas’ death and not even talking about it, other than to say, “Yeah I think about em’ too.” I don’t care if you don’t believe in Destiel or that the love was reciprocated. Dean EXCLUSIVELY said multiple times that Cas is a member of their family and a brother to the boys. He said the words, “YOU”RE MY BEST FRIEND.” I’m not saying Dean should have scarified himself to go pull Cas out of the Empty (because we had 40 minutes to wrap up 15 years). But the fact that Dean was like: I’m gonna eat some pie and just not acknowledge any feelings or thoughts and act like nothing ever happened is SO OOC. If your best friend died tragically, you’d have something to say about it or act like you had something to say about it. And that’s not to say I wanted Dean to be miserable and hurting. I’m happy he got a dog and found some normalcy. But they lost SO many people, and he’s just walking around cool as a cucumber? When every other season/episode where they lost someone important to Dean he was a mess. And I’m not just talking about Cas- we all obviously know how Dean behaved when Cas died/was missing/Lucifer was controlling him. But even when Jo and Ellen died. Even when Mary died. Even when Bobby died. Even when John died. Even when Crowley died. Even when Jack died, Dean was shown hurting. Suddenly everything is cool and normal there’s no pain or anything? The fuck? A brief moment of acknowledgement. That’s all it needed.
I will never forgive the writers for ending Dean’s story that way. A rusty nail impaling him (probably in his pulmonary arteries/aorta based on the angle) on some random hunt after he finally exhaled the episode before and said, “We’re finally free.” He sacrificed his ENTIRE childhood and life for his brother and the world and so many other people, and he didn't even get to enjoy being a human on the Earth and living a life for more than a week. What! Dean was always a character filled with tragedy, and yeah, maybe he did have to die. You can make that argument. But like that?! AND. AND! Sam held a funeral for Dean and DIDN’T INVITE ANYONE! What!!! No one was there to toast to Dean and share their memories and give him the send-off he deserved. Sam just burned his body alone. Never. That would have NEVER happened. Sam loved Dean SO much and looked up to him and thought the world of him. Dean was his big brother who was fearless and strong and the best hunter on this Earth (and probably every other planet), and he didn’t celebrate his life in the end? 
Cas not showing up in Heaven is absolutely insane. INSANE. It doesn’t matter what you think of their relationship, the show has proven that Cas is important to Dean (even if you think Cas is way at the bottom of the list, he’s on it!). Dean’s ideal retirement/endgame was him, Sam, and Cas on a beach, drinking cocktails, with hula girls. That was the future Dean wanted for him and his family. And you’re telling me that Cas helped Jack build the best version of Heaven possible, and the minute Dean Winchester arrived Cas wasn’t there to greet him. Even just to say “Hello, Dean.” Even call Dean’s phone and say, “Welcome home.” Cas would have been the one greeting Dean in Heaven, with Bobby. Requited or not, it’s canon that Cas is in love with Dean. You don’t just ignore the opportunity to see the person you’re in love with. And... and! Even if Cas didn’t greet Dean in Heaven immediately, he would have appeared in the Impala during the drive. He would have met the brothers on the bridge to welcome them both home. Cas loved Sam too. He would have been there. The three boys together again. Team Free Will!  
I love Cas, and I know a lot of Cas stans feel buried and betrayed and hurt over the show doing a “is he there or isn’t he?” thing. And that is completely valid. I can’t even express to you how sorry I am that so many of us in the fandom are hurting. But I know this show. And this show has always made it clear that it was/is always about two brothers. Fine. But Dean Winchester, the most caring and loving human in the entire universe, deserved better. I am so sick to my stomach that Dean’s whole life was him convinced that there was only one way for his story to end and it was him dying tragically. For years he never let himself even entertain the thought of living a life because he 1) didn’t think he deserved that or was worth it 2) it just wasn’t in the cards. We watched Dean grow so much, SO MUCH, that we finally saw him talking about the future and having hope for the future. And yeah, maybe he wouldn’t get the future he talked about with the retirement on the beach, but he would have lived long enough to experience life outside of just “playing whack-a-mole” and being God’s favorite story and puppet. Dean didn’t even get to enjoy his freedom and humanity. They took a character that they purposefully pushed through so many stages of character development to attain hope and faith and self-worth and promise, and killed him. 
What the fuck!
928 notes · View notes
waitimcomingtoo · 3 years
Text
The Proposal ~ T.H
chapter four: the party
synopsis: fake marriage, real trouble
Series Masterlist
Tumblr media
That night, you went to Paddy’s room after dinner to watch movies with him. Tom was already in his room, sitting on the floor and fumbling with a projector. You waved to Paddy and sat on the ground, putting some distance between you at the boys.
“All set.” Tom patted the projector before taking a seat on the other side of Paddy. Paddy looked between the two of you curiously, noticing how far apart you were.
“Don’t you guys want to sit together?” He asked. You and Tom exchanged a knowing look before returning your eyes to the screen. You let out a sigh and walked over to Tom, kicking his legs open with your feet. Tom watched you curiously as he spread his legs out further to make room for you. You gave him a sarcastic smile before taking a seat between his legs and leaning on his chest. Tom blinked a few times as he processed what was happening. Something about the position seemed more initiate than your forced kisses. He slowly wrapped an arm around your shoulders and pulled you closer, letting his chin rest on the top of your head. You shifted uncomfortably in his embrace, not used to being that close to another person. His cologne wafted into your nose every time he moved and you could feel his heartbeat against your back. It occurred to you that before all of this, you and Tom had never even hugged. You decided for Paddy and the deals sake to just relax and stay in his arms, but a part of you felt weird. That being said, another part of you kinda liked it.
You spent the next morning playing more golf with Dom before he had to get ready for Paddy’s party. It was a close game, but he ended up taking the win in the end.
“Great game today.” Dom smiled as he went to high five you. “I should’ve known Tom would end up with a golfer.”
“You did great too.” You said as you avoided the Tom comment. “I didn’t realize you could work up such a sweat by playing golf.”
“It sneaks up on ya.” He agreed. “There’s a bathroom connected to Tom’s room. You can shower there. It’s nice and private.”
“Thanks.” You smiled at him. “I’ll see you at the party.”
You headed back inside and went straight to Tom’s room. You were dripping with sweat and didn’t want anyone to see you until you had showered.
Elsewhere, Tom was jogging around the neighborhood to clear his head. He knew everything that was happening between you for just for show, but that didn’t mean he didn’t like it. And to make matters worse, his family totally loved you. He’d be lying if there wasn’t a big part of him that wished you weren’t just pretending.
Tom finished his jog just as you were finishing up in the shower. He went into his room and shut the door behind him, immediately peeling off his sweaty t shirt. The music from his headphones kept him from hearing the sound of you turning the water off.
“Fuck.” You mumbled when you stepped out of the shower. “No towel.”
You continued looking around for a towel while you tried not to get water everywhere. His bathroom was completely empty of linens, but you figured he’d have some in his room.
“Tom?” You called. “Are you in the room?”
Tom couldn’t hear you over his music, so he remained silent as he peeled his sweaty shorts and underwear off. When you didn’t hear a response, you assumed no one was in the room and it was safe to go out. You left the bathroom right as Tom was walking towards you, resulting in your naked body smacking right into his.
Tom did his best to catch you, but you slipped right out of his arms and landed on the floor. You looked up to see a very sweaty and very naked Tom standing above you with a terrified expression.
“AHH!” You screamed and quickly covered yourself.
“AHH!” Tom screamed back and threw his hands over his dick.
“Why are you naked?” You yelled from the floor.
“Why are you naked?” He yelled right back.
“I was in the shower!” You shouted. “What’s your excuse?”
“I was about to get in the shower!” He shouted as well. “Where’s your towel?”
“You didn’t have any in your stupid bathroom.” You snapped at him. “Who gets naked outside of the bathroom?”
“Who comes out of the bathroom naked?” He shot back.
“I do when my half wit assistant doesn’t put any towels in his bathroom.” You sassed him.
“I haven’t been here in two years!” He protested. “Of course I didn’t leave a towel in there. Maybe if you gave me some time off now and then, I’d come home and replenish the linens in my bathroom.”
“Oh, so this is my fault?” You raised an eyebrow as you stood up.
“Pretty much.” He nodded.
“I...” You lost your train of thought as your eyes traveled down his body. He had sweat dripping down his defined abs, momentarily knocking every work you knew out of your brain. You swallowed a little as your eyes fell on his dick, which his hands were doing a poor job of covering.
“Why are you so ripped?” You asked as you shifted your arm to make sure you were fully covering your boobs.
“I work out.” Tom said quietly as he struggled to maintain eye contact. There were you, his boss that he’d been crushing on for two years, standing in front of him fully naked. The water dripping off your body didn’t help, and the fact that you were covered by nothing but your hands made it even worse. Tom gulped and let his eyes flick down just once. He was only human after all.
“Well, if you have that much time to work out, I must not be working you hard enough.” You quipped, desperately trying to change the subject.
“You work me just fine.” Tom mumbled. You made awkward eye contact upon hearing his words and quickly looked away.
“I’m gonna get dressed now.” You decided.
“I’m gonna get in the shower.” He nodded profusely and cleared his throat.
“Right. Good. Take a shower. That’s an order. From your boss.”
“Yes, miss.” He replied as he moved past you.
“Tom? Y/n? Are you in there?” Nikki’s voice suddenly came from outside the bedroom door. You and Tom looked at each other in a panic before scrambling to find clothes.
“Oh my God.” You whispered harshly. “This isn’t happening.”
“Forget the clothes!” He whispered back. “Get in the fucking bathroom now.”
Tom picked you up and threw you over his shoulder before running into the bathroom. He quickly slammed the door behind the two of you and pressed your back against the door as he listened for his mom
“Hello?” She called from the room. “Is anyone in here?”
You and Tom were pressed chest to chest in total silence as you impatiently waited for her to leave. Finally, you heard footsteps and the door shutting.
Tom let out a breath of relief and took a step back from you, accidentally getting a glimpse of your uncovered body. You quickly put your hands back over yourself and straightened up.
“As fun as this has been.” You said dully. “I’m leaving. Enjoy your shower.”
“Yes, miss.” He mumbled as you left the bathroom.
You shut the bathroom door behind you and covered your mouth with your hand. Your shy little assistant didn’t seem so shy anymore.
And he definitely wasn’t little.
Ten minutes later, Tom emerged from the bathroom with a towel around his waist. You looked up at him from you the bed and gasped.
“Yeah.” He nodded. “There was a towel in there the whole time.”
“But I looked everywhere.”
“You didn’t check under the sink.” He shrugged as he went to his dresser. Your body felt hot with embarrassment as he picked out his party clothes.
“I’m gonna get dressed now.” He told you. “Close your eyes.”
You rolled your eyes at him but did as he asked. You gulped when you heard his towel hit the ground, not daring to open your eyes until he gave you permission.
“Okay.” He said softly as he sat across from you on the bed. “You can open them now.”
Your eyes fluttered open and you were met with Toms gentle smile. His curls were still damp from the shower, and he was clad in his party clothes for later.
“Hi.” You said softly as you hugged your knees to your chest. You felt slightly intimidated by him at the moment and you weren’t sure why.
“Hi.” He smiled shyly. “Nice to see you found some clothes.”
“Shut up. I saw you too, you know. Your hands are barely big enough to cover all of that.” You said as you gestured to his crotch. Tom’s face went red and you once again had the upper hand.
“That says a lot.” He joked. “My hands are pretty big.”
“No they are not.” You scoffed.
“Yes they are. Look.” He said as he held up his hand.
“Maybe mine are just small.” You shrugged.
“I doubt it.” He shook his head. “Let me see.”
You wordlessly held your hand up and pressed your palm against his. His hand was objectively bigger compared to yours, enough so that he could curl his finger tips over yours.
“Well, would you look at that.” He chuckled. “I’m right.”
“Wow.” You nodded. “There really is a first time for everything.”
“Why can’t you accept that I’m right sometimes?” He asked you as he slipped his fingers between yours and closed them. You didn’t even notice you were holding hands as you looked into his eyes.
“Because I hate being wrong.” You told him.
“I think you’re wrong about me.” Tom pushed his limit with you. “I know what you think of me. You think I’m all shy and submissive. I’m really not.”
“Please.” You smirked. “You let me walk all over you like a rug.”
“Maybe I just like being underneath you.” Tom said lowly. Your eyes widened at him and you quickly withdrew your hand,
“I’m sorry.” He stammered. “I didn’t mean-“
“It’s fine.” You cut him off, wanting to leave the topic. “We should go see if your mom needs help with the party.”
You managed to avoid Tom for a few hours as you helped Nikki set up the party. Once the guests arrived, however, you had to remain by Toms side and play the part of his fiancée. You didn’t really care about lying to Paddy’s friends when they asked who you were, but Toms grandma asking you when she’d be getting a grandchild sent you over the edge. You quickly excused yourself and ran out the front door, not stopping until you were halfway down the block. Tom caught up to you just as you were catching your breath, not knowing he was the last person you wanted to see.
“Tom, please.” You panted. “I can’t deal with you right now.”
“I can’t just leave you out here.” He shook his head. “What’s wrong?”
You didn’t want to tell him the truth, which was that you were having serious doubts about the fake marriage. Seeing him in his childhood home and interacting with his family humanized him in a way that made it impossible for you to dislike him. He wasn’t just your assistant anymore. He was someone who was willing to put their freedom at risk to help you, and that terrified you.
“I’m fine.” You lied. “I just didn’t realize faking a marriage meant lying to your grandmother about when I was gonna push out her grandchildren.”
“We have to lie.” He reminded you. “My family are the first people the IRCC will go to to see if our marriage is real. If we tell them it’s fake, they could get in trouble for knowing.”
“I know, I know.” You sighed. “But they’re all so nice. I hate lying to them.”
“Then I’ll do all the lying.” He assured you as he rested his hands on your shoulders. “Let’s just go back inside and stand off by ourselves. You won’t have to lie to anyone, okay? No one will even know we’re there.”
You looked into his eyes and let out a deep sigh, allowing him to keep his hands on you for once.
“Okay.” You agreed. “I’ll go back in. Just keep your grandma away from me.”
“I promise, I won’t let her be in the same room as you.” Tom chuckled as he lead you back into his house. As soon as the two of you walked in the front door, everyone’s eyes were on you.
“There they are.” Toms grandma pointed at you. “Nikki just told us you two were engaged. When’s the wedding?”
“Oh, um...” Tom looked at you in a panic, but you were prepared.
“There won’t be one.” You said with a tight smile. “Tom and I are just gonna get married at city hall. We were going this week actually.”
“No wedding?” Nikki frowned. “But you have to have a wedding.”
The entire party murmured in agreement, making you want to die on the spot. Tom could sense you getting overwhelmed, so he slipped his hand into yours and took charge.
“We would love one, but we’re just so busy with work.” He explained, which was partially true. “Y/n doesn’t have the time to pick out a wedding dress and I don’t have time to plan everything. City hall is much easier for our schedules.”
“But this is your once in a lifetime chance to throw a party to celebrate your marriage.” Tom’s grandma protested. “You’ll regret not having a ceremony when you look back on it in a few years.”
“I can promise you, we won’t.” You mumbled under your breath.
“I don’t have anything planned for this Friday.” A priest in the back of the room piped up. “I could officiate your wedding.”
“Why the fuck is there a priest here?” You harshly whispered to Tom.
“He’s our neighbor.” Tom whispered back. “He always stops by for parties.”
“Of course he does. How convenient?” You grumbled to yourself.
“Thank you so much, Father, but we wouldn’t want to put you to any trouble.” Tom replied. “Besides, we don’t have a venue.”
“You can have it at our hotel.” A lady you hadn’t met you chimed in. “There’s a huge ballroom on the fourth floor. And it will already be decorated for the gala this Thursday.”
“Of course there’s a gala.” You couldn’t help but laugh at the ridiculous situation. “Who is that?”
“My aunt.” Tom whispered back. “She owns the hotel in town.”
“Of course she does.” You nodded. “Of fucking course she does.”
“I can cater it.” Sam spoke up. “And I’ll get my friends from culinary school to help me out.”
“Of course your brother is in culinary school.” You laughed again to yourself.
“Really, it’s okay.” Tom told the crowd. “We-“
“Ah, and she can wear Nikki’s dress.” Tom’s grandma clapped. “The dress is stunning, Y/n. You’ll love it.”
“Tom.” You growled out of the corner of your mouth. “Do something.”
“Thank you all. Really, thank you.” Tom said. “But we’d much rather have a small wedding just between us.”
“It can still be small. It’ll just be a family affair, plus whoever’s in this room.” Dom suggested. “And you can invite your friends from school. They’d never miss your wedding after not seeing you for two years.”
“Well.” You smiled suddenly, making Tom shudder in fear. “Isn’t this all just so convenient? It’s like the universe is telling us to have a wedding.”
You grabbed Toms arm suddenly and pulled him down so you could whisper in his ear, “I’m gonna kill the universe for butt fucking us this hard.”
Tom couldn’t help but laugh at your foul language before he quickly composed himself.
“Thank you all for offering to help us.” Tom announced. “But we’d really prefer-“
“Please?” Nikki interrupted. She had on the most hopeful smile you had ever seen, complete with her hands clasped under her chin. You chewed your bottom lip as you watched her, feeling torn over what to do. If you were getting married anyway, a small wedding couldn’t hurt right? If it made Toms mom happy, you figured you could deal with one ceremony.
“You know what?” You sighed. “Sure. Let’s have a wedding.”
“Yay.” Nikki ran straight to you and hugged you, bouncing up and down with excitement. You hesitantly hugged her back as you made eye contact with Tom over her shoulder. He gave you a small shrug, telling you he was just as thrilled about it as you were.
“I’m so happy.” Nikki said in your ear. “Welcome to our family.”
~
“Tom? Y/n?” Nikki asked as she knocked. It was a few days after the party and you had accidentally slept in. You quickly shot up in bed when you heard the knocking, eyes immediately going to Tom. If she came in, there would be no way to explain why your supposed fiancée was sleeping on the floor while you slept in his bed.
“Tom!” You said in a hushed tone. “Wake up! Your moms at the door.”
Tom didn’t move, even when his mom knocked louder.
“Tom!” You tried again. “Wake up. You have to get into the bed.”
“Hello?” Nikki knocked again softly. “Are you guys awake?”
“Tom.” You said a little louder. “Wake the fuck up!”
Tom stirred in his sleep but didn’t wake up, making you grab a pillow off the bed and throw it at him.
“Who’s there?” Tom mumbled as he sat up.
“Get in bed.” You whispered harshly.
“What?” Tom groggily replied.
“Your mothers at the door.” You whispered. “Get in the bed!”
Tom woke up enough to understand what you were saying and scrambled or get into the bed. You awkwardly wrestled with the sheets as you tried to make it look like he had been in the bed with you the whole time. Tom ended up getting behind you and positioning you between his legs as he let a hand rest on your stomach.
“Oh my God.” You whispered when you felt something on your leg.
“What?” Tom wondered.
“Your penis is literally stabbing me!” You whispered harshly.
“I’m sorry.” He rolled his eyes. “It’s morning.”
“Come in.” You called before giving Tom an angry glare. Nikki opened the door with a bright smile, which you and Tom matched.
“Good morning you two.” Nikki greeted. “I just wanted to tell you that everything is set for Friday. Ive been making phone calls all morning. Ah, I couldn’t sleep. I’m too excited. Only two days away!”
You and Tom exchanged a panicked look but never dropped your smiles.
“So are we.” You lied. “We can’t wait.”
“Me either.” Nikki gushed. “I just wanted to drop this off.”
Nikki stepped forward and handed Tom a list before explaining, “I made a guest list for Friday. Let me know if there’s anyone else you want to add.”
“Will do.” Tom nodded, praying for her to leave. “Thanks, mum.”
“All right. I’ll leave you guys to it.” Nikki blew you two kisses before leaving the room.
“That was a close one.” Tom blew out a breath of relief and handed you the list. “Here’s the list.”
You took it from him and began to read it over, eyebrows furrowing when you saw how many people were on it. Tom read it over your shoulder as his thumb absentmindedly rubbed your stomach.
“Wow.” You gulped. “Who are all these people?”
“Mostly family.” Tom answered. “But the rest are my friends from university.”
“Hm.” You pouted. “You have a lot of friends.”
“Oh, yeah.” Tom shrugged. “I guess so.”
You slumped in Toms arms, never taking your eyes off the list. Tom noticed you quieting down and squeezed you a little.
“Do you have any friends you want to invite?” He asked kindly, craning his neck to look at you. Your eyes flickered away from the list as you slowly folded in it in your hands.
“No.” You said softly. “I don’t.”
“I’m sure a few more people wouldn’t matter. We can invite whoever you want.” Tom offered. He was very aware of the fact that you hadn’t moved from your position on his lap, and he hoped you were aware too.
“There’s um...there’s no one I can think of who would want to come to my wedding.” You laughed weakly before staring at your lap.
“What?” Tom tried to lighten the mood with a smile. “I’m sure that’s not true. What about the people at the office?”
“No one at the office likes me.” You reminded him.
“That’s not true.” Tom shook his head.
“Yes it is.” You said as you looked over your shoulder at him. He could tell you were upset, so he sat up a little and wrapped his other arm around your waist.
“No, it’s not. Because I like you.” He smiled softly. “And I’m in the office.”
“You don’t like me.” You said softly. “You just put up with me so I don’t fire you.”
“If I didn’t like you, I wouldn’t be marrying you.”
“You’re marrying me so you can get a promotion.”
“That’s part of it.” He agreed as he took your chin between his fingers so you’d look at him. “But I wouldn’t want to be the editor if you weren’t my boss. I’m marrying you because I want you to stay here.”
You slowly turned back around when you heard him say this, shifting your position so you could full face him.
“You want me?” You asked quietly as you stared into his eyes. Tom nodded slowly as his eyes dropped from your eyes to your lips.
“Of course I do, darling.” He said softly. “I’d miss you if you were gone.”
Tom was close enough that his breath was fanning your face. He could feel the warmth of your hand gliding up his chest and coming to rest on his cheek. Tom sat up even more and pulled you closer to him, beginning to lean in as he shut his eyes.
Instead of feeling your lips against his, Tom felt a sharp smack against his face.
“Ow!” Toms eyes shot open. He put his hand on his stinging cheek and looked at you. You had one hand raised and one covering your mouth in shock.
“Oh my God.” You gasped. “I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I did that.”
“You slapped me!” Tom exclaimed with hurt in his eyes.
“I’m sorry!” You repeated. “I panicked.”
“Why?” He asked as he rubbed his cheek.
“Because you were about to kiss me.”
“You could’ve just told me to stop.” He grumbled, grateful that you couldn’t see his embarrassed flush since his cheek was still red from the slap.
“I didn’t want you to stop.” You said before you knew what you were doing. You put your hand over your mouth again and pulled away from him as he processed what he heard.
“What?” He asked. “You wanted me to kiss you?”
“I didn’t say that.” You said quietly as your eyes darted to the side.
“You alluded to it.” He insisted. You looked at him, speechless from embarrassment.
“Shut up.” You said weakly, feeling frazzled at your loss of words.
“You were the one that-“
“I said shut up.” You hissed as you pulled him into a heated kiss. Toms eyes widened before fluttering shut as he leaned into you. Years of pining after you made him hungry, and he wasn’t going to let anything stop him from taking advantage of this moment. He gripped your hips and pulled you into his lap, letting his hands roam wherever they pleased. Tom tangled his fingers in the hair at the nape of your neck as he slipped his tongue into your mouth. You put your ego aside for the time being and slid your hands up his shirt. You dragged your nails down his chest before pulling his shirt off all together. You had to pull away from the kiss for a moment to pull his shirt over his head, and he took this as an opportunity to pull yours off as well. Tom brought a rare smile out of you as he put his hands on your face and softly rubbed your cheeks with this thumb.
“So beautiful.” He whispered. “My wife.”
You responded by putting your hands over his and leaning in to kiss him again. Tom eagerly kissed your back before trailing open mouthed kisses down your neck. You moaned his name softly, so wrapped up in the moment that you didn’t hear the door opening.
“One more thing.” Nikki’s voice sounded in your ears, making you jump away from Tom. You were so startled that you fell right off the bed and landed on the floor with a thud.
“Oh! Sorry.” She apologized. “I just wanted to tell you Sam made pancakes. They’re ready when you are.”
“Thank you.” Tom stammered, sheepishly pulling the covers over his bare chest. Nikki gave him an apologetic smile before shutting the door. You popped up from the floor once she was gone and held your shirt over your body.
“Um, hungry?” You smiled weakly at him.
“Starving.” He gulped before pulling his shirt over his head.
“We should go eat breakfast then.” You pulled your own shirt on and stood up.
“I’ll go first.” Tom quickly got out of the bed. “I’ll um, I’ll see you out there.”
“Yeah.” You forced a smile. “Bye.”
“Bye”. Tom stammered before running out of the room. You let out a frustrated sigh before smoothing your hair and leaving the room. Before you made it to the kitchen, you bumped into Harry in the hallway.
“There you are.” He chuckled as he caught you. “You look a little frazzled.”
“Oh, um, yeah.” You forced a smile. “Just a rough start to my morning, is all.”
“What happened?” He asked. “Did mum catch Tom sleeping on the floor and not in bed with you?”
You let out a small gasp and looked at him in fear. Harry looked back at you with an innocent smile but eyes that told you he knew everything.
“How did you know he slept on the floor?” You whispered.
“Oh, you know.” He shrugged. “I just figured you wouldn’t be sleeping in the same bed as the assistant that you’re forcing to marry you.”
“What?” Your eyes widened. “How do you know that?”
“Don’t worry, sis.” Harry patted your back before walking away. “Secrets safe with me.”
Tag List 🏷
@awesomebooklover17 @thebookwormlife @imanativeofswlondondahling @weirdr-artiest @serendipitous-amor @dummiesshort
@foreverxholland @lavender-writer @michaela072796 @whatareyouhidingpeter @takenbyheartstrings @ultrunning @imyourliquor-youremypoison @andreasworlsboring101 @waiting-to-be-myself @letsloveimagines @peterparkoure @a-villain-vying-for-attention @justcallmehitgirl @jackiehollanderr @tiny-friggin-human @mara-twins @iamaunicorn4704 @maryjanee23 @geeksareunique @emmamarshmellow @unbelievableholland @flixndchill @sovereignparker @thisisthebiplace @spideydobrik @every-marveler-ever @undiadeestos @caelestii-e @eridanuswave @itscaminow @fiantomartell @solarxmoonchild @canyouevencauseicant @illwritetomorrow @thehappygrungelife @saysomethingspiderman @smilexcaptainx @quaksonhehe @kelieah @kickingn-ames @seasidecrowbar @lovelessdagger @love-sick-blues @electraheart-3174 @unbelievableholland @yourtypicalhotmess @spideyanakin @horanxholland @thesuitelifeofafangirl @marshxx @heyheycharlatte @nooneinvitedfascistbarbie @tomshufflepuff @cookiemonstermusic258
@maybemona @alexxcorona113​ @lethal-wisdom​ @xo-spidey​ @big-galaxy-chaos @pandaxnienke​ @theincredibledeadlyviper​  @thestylestour​  @officialsimppage @mrvelscaptains​ @peterbenjiparker​ @itsemohours​ @okkulta​ @parkerlovebot @jungkxxkk​ @friendlyneighborhood-mendes​ @whatthefuckimbisexual @olixerwxxd​ @starkbrain​ @creatorofthegalaxy​ @f-hollands @ilovefrogs1000​ @itstaskeen​  @wrendermeuseless @amazinggracy​ @iprobablyshipit91​ @magicalxdaydream​ @whereismytelephone @theonly1outof-a-billion​ @leilanixx​ @namoreno​ @bi-lmg​ @dracoswhore007 @tomhollandloml​ @avengers-hamiltrash @sunshinepeterparkr @gh0stgurl​ @so-very-asleep​ @veryholland​ @white-wolf1940 @spideycheles​ @firwproof-blog​ @fanficaddict13125​ @pinklxmonade @thebestqueenoftheworld​ @nowayhomeparker​ @willowestelle​ @imobsessedzs @spideyspeaches​ @bookfrog242​ @hihiweezing​ @mathletemadison  @chipot-lol​ @mackenziejanine​ @dhtomholland​ @peterstommy @insomniac-nerd-posts-things @prancerrparkerr @aayaissaa @loudthoughts-softspoken @starknik22 @hallecarey1 @tom-holland-is-bae @adayasgeorgia @imobsessedzs​
274 notes · View notes
luci-in-trenchcoats · 3 years
Text
15x20
Tumblr media
Spoilers for Season 15x20 finale
Summary: This is a semi-rewrite of episode 15x20...
Pairing: Dean x reader (reader is treated more like an OC than a typical reader)
Word Count: 2,000ish
Warnings: language, major 15x20 spoilers
A/N: I wrote this for myself honestly. I know it is idealistic and was never going to happen. Again, I’m sharing simply if you’re interested but please feel free to ignore. This picks up from a very obvious point in the episode...
______
Dean POV
“Fuck,” said Dean, his hand over his chest. Something big was stabbing into his back. This felt wrong though. A dull, achy pain trickled up and down his spine and across his chest. His heart was racing up and slowing down when it wanted and Dean shut his eyes as he recognized the feeling in his bones.
He was dying. The kind of dying a doctor can’t fix.
“Jack!” shouted Sam, Dean peeling open his eyes as he realized Sam was besides him, hand covered in blood. A few seconds later Jack appeared in front of them eating a bar of nougat. “Jack fix him. Please.”
“He said he was hands off,” said Dean with a wince, his whole body shaking. Jack cocked his head and walked over, touching Dean’s forehead. The next thing he knew, Dean was sat on the ground and taking a deep breath, the pain gone as he looked up. “You said you were hands off.”
“You’re my dads. Why wouldn’t I help you?” he asked, a confused look on his face. Dean chuckled and nodded, still holding onto his chest. “You seem upset. I’ll pop you guys home.”
“Kid there’s-”
“Those boys are okay,” said Jack, snapping his fingers. Dean was suddenly sat on the steps up into the library, Jack mentioning something about taking some nougat from the pantry before he headed out. 
“You alright?” asked Sam. Dean shook his head and he took a seat. Dean rubbed the heel of his palm against his chest and shuddered. “Jack got there in time.”
“If he hadn’t-”
“Dean-”
“If he hadn’t...because it was bad, Sammy. If he hadn’t...I’m so proud of you and I love you, so fucking much. I couldn’t have asked for a better baby brother, a better best friend. You just gotta tell me something. When the time comes, you’ll be okay without me. Tell me Sam. Please.”
“I’ll be okay,” said Sam quietly. Dean nodded and moved his hand to his lap, Sam scooting closer. “Let’s get out of here.”
“What?”
“Let’s get a house. We can get a big yard for Miracle. Run an operation like Bobby did, do the occasional case. Let’s go live more,” said Sam. Dean paused but rubbed his chest again and smiled.
“Dibs on the master bedroom,” said Dean. Sam chuckled and nodded. “Yeah. This place is home but I wouldn’t mind an upgrade.”
Two Months Later
“Miracle!” called Dean when he ignored the ball Dean had just thrown across the yard and ran around the corner of the house. “Miracle!”
“I think your daddy’s looking for you,” Dean heard a voice giggle. He walked around the house and saw a woman knelt down and ruffling the dog. “You’re so cute. You’re so cute.”
“Yes, I am,” smirked Dean as the woman popped her head up. “So, how can I help you and why are you parked in my driveway?”
“I’m Y/N. Y/N-”
“I heard of you. Hunter out of Alaska right?” he asked as she nodded. “You work a lot of Canada cases.”
“I did,” she said with a shrug. “I was thinking of retiring down south. Wondering if you got any tips on how to adjust.”
“A dog helps,” he said and she smiled, Dean looking her up and down. “You do realize this is Austin, Texas right?”
“This is south to me,” she said. “I know Donna through a friend of a friend. She said it’d be cool if I came and talked to you?”
“Uh, yeah, sure,” said Dean, Miracle running over to the ball and rushing back with it. He nudged Dean’s hand and Y/N smiled. “You mind chatting while we do some fetch?”
“Not at all, Winchester.”
“Kinda funny how Eileen and Y/N know each other,” said Sam, Dean looking out the back window to where the girls and Miracle were sat on the back deck after dinner drinking a beer. Dean hummed and dried a plate, Sam nudging his arm. “You like her, don’t you.”
“You like her.”
“Dean.”
“Yeah, I like her. What’s the big deal?”
“Oh, I don’t know. A gorgeous, former hunter with your kind of humor, love for pie, muscle cars and classic rock that’s single just happens to have stuck around long after she got done talking to you.”
“I invited her to dinner.”
“She understands the life Dean. All the shit we carry. You’ve never tried with a hunter. Give her a chance.”
“Tried what?” said Dean, putting the plate in the cupboard. 
“You can have a relationship Dean. I’m pretty sure she likes you too,” said Sam.
“Hello, Dean,” said Castiel, both guys jumping as they spun around. They stared at the angel as Cas looked around. “I enjoy your home. The air is fragrant.”
“It’s a candle,” said Sam, pointing to the flickering light on the countertop. He blew it out and Dean walked around the island, shaking his head. 
“Where the fuck have you been?” said Dean, giving Cas a hug. Sam joined them and Castiel shrugged.
“Rebuilding heaven is labor intensive process,” said Cas before turning to Dean. “I felt you would be coming there soon a few months ago.”
“Why didn’t you pop down when you knew he was dying?” asked Sam.
“You are humans,” said Cas with a pout. “You will die someday. It’s an inevitable fact. Time is very strange in heaven in its relation to earth. I assumed you were an old man.”
“No, not old,” said Dean.
“Would you two like for me to prevent your deaths until a certain age?” asked Cas. 
“No,” they both said, Dean smiling. 
“But if we ask for help, you will help?” asked Dean.
“Always,” said Castiel. He tilted his head and looked out the back window. “Who is the woman with Eileen?”
“Y/N. Hunter from the Yukon area. Dean has a crush,” said Sam. He smirked when Dean whacked his arm, Cas still cocking his head. “You know her?”
“She’s quite drawn to Dean. Metaphysically speaking.”
“Yes cause whatever you just said was very clear. Like I’m five Cas,” said Dean. Cas sighed and pursed his lips.
“Jack has given me some extra power to help assist him better. I can see more of a person now,” said Cas. “Their energy, soul, things of that nature.”
“Okay...so what does that mean?” asked Dean.
“Oh your souls are quite intertwined. She’s your soulmate,” said Cas.
“Really?” said Dean, allowing a brief smile to cross his face.
“She also has a growing inoperable mass in her head that will kill her in the next few years. She suffers from headaches quite frequently,” said Cas. Dean sat down at the counter and stared out the back door, squeezing his eyes shut.
“Why can’t I be happy?” he breathed out. “For a fucking minute I can’t even be happy before the rug gets pulled out.”
“...Did you not want me to heal her?” asked Cas. Dean rolled his eyes and Cas’ glowed blue for a moment. “She’s fine now. You seem...emotional.”
“Well I am Cas,” said Dean. 
“You’ve been off since that hunt and the barn,” said Sam.
“Sam I shouldn’t be alive,” said Dean. “I got lucky.”
“You have sacrificed your entire life for others, Dean,” said Cas, Sam taking a seat next to Dean. “You should take advantage of your powerful friends. Let others care for you now. I will speak to Jack about the remaining monsters and their relocation to somewhere better suited for them, perhaps a new world.”
“Everything alright?” asked Y/N, slipping in through the back door with an empty beer bottle. 
“Yeah, we’re all good,” said Sam.
“Liar,” she said, smiling at Dean. “I’ll be right back.”
She excused herself to the bathroom, Sam and Cas going outside. Dean got another set of beers out just in time for Y/N to return. 
“Can I ask you a question?” she said.
“Shoot,” said Dean, handing her the drink.
“Your friend, the angel, did he just heal me? I’ve had constant headaches for awhile now. Brain tumor. I feel different. You guys wouldn’t happen to have anything to do with that would you?”
“You deserve to enjoy your retirement,” he said. “A very long retirement. You’re fine now.”
“I won’t be mad about that,” she said, leaning against the counter by him. She took a long sip and smiled. “I like you, Dean.”
“I like you,” he said.
“I’m gonna stick around town for a bit, see if things work out,” she said. He nodded and smiled, watching her smirk. “So there’s really no more monsters?”
“Uh, what?”
“I overheard Castiel when I walked in. Guess we’re really out of jobs now,” you said.
“I got an offer for a construction manager,” he said. 
“You gonna take it?” she asked.
“I think so. What do you think?” he asked.
“I think it’s a great idea,” she said. “Gotta keep busy somehow.”
“What’s your retirement look like?” he asked. She shrugged and smiled. “Now that death isn’t imminent.”
“Maybe I’ll find a guy, try the domestic thing,” she said, a soft smile staying on her lips. “Know anyone who might be interested?”
“I’m sure I can think of someone, sweetheart.”
One Year Later
“So what do you think?” asked Sam as he spun around in his suit in the family room.
“What do we think junior?” asked Dean, the baby on his lap clapping his hands. “He says dad’s gonna score tonight.”
“I fear for you teaching my son things when he’s a teenager,” chuckled Sam.
“That’s what Uncles are for,” said Dean as Y/N got up from the couch and started fixing Sam’s tie.
“And what Aunt’s are for to rein them in,” she said, smoothing it out. 
“Thank you,” said Sam. “Hey, when you two gonna have a kid?”
“Who says we aren’t?” smirked Dean. Sam went wide eyed and she rolled hers.
“We’re trying just recently. You will literally be the first to know once we do,” she said. She winked and Sam narrowed his eyes, looking back and forth between them then down to her stomach. 
“You’re so pregnant.”
“Ugh, we were gonna surprise you guys. Let us surprise, Eileen at least,” she said.
“You guys are pregnant!” said Eileen from over the balcony upstairs. Y/N laughed and headed up, Sam taking a seat next to Dean and plucking his son into his arms.
“You’re gonna be a real good dad. You got a lot of practice,” said Sam. Dean shrugged and Sam gave him a side hug. “I’m really happy he gets to know his Uncle, Dean. You’re gonna do great.”
“I’m really happy I get to be here too,” said Dean. He sat back and shut his eyes. “I owe you one.”
“For what?”
“The barn. I thought Jack wouldn’t come. I didn’t even bother. I thought that was gonna be it,” said Dean. “I didn’t want to go yet.”
“You don’t owe me for that,” said Sam, handing the baby back when he heard feet on the stairs. “Be good for Uncle Dean, baby boy.”
“Go have fun on your date, Sammy,” said Dean.
“You have fun on your stay at home date,” chuckled Sam. “See ya later, De.”
“Later, Sammy.”
_________
373 notes · View notes
im-whatchamccallit · 3 years
Text
Crushcrushcrush//Kim Hongjoong (ATEEZ)
Request:  Hi i was wondering if you could do a soulmate werewolf hongjoong x human female reader angst and fluff like she over hears hongjoong saying something and she gets sad and shy and worried and stuff.....
Pairing: Kim Hongjoong x Fem!Reader
Genre: Angst with fluff at the end, Werewolf!AU, Soulmate!AU, a bit of College!AU
Warnings: Hongjoong’s kind of a dick with irrational thinking, cussing I guess
Word Count: 7.2k
(A/N: Lets just pretend I didn’t disappear for 6 whole months, but i am back and my medication is no longer giving me the big sad so I’m a little more motivated to write.This isn’t the best work I’ve done, this is actually idea 10 for this prompt and idk if it’s executed properly but Imma keep trying and hopefully, to keep from falling back into a slump, I’ll start a new series so I have a regular scheduled fic for everyone. Also, I think I botched expressing the AUS here but just let me know what you think. Sorry for always disappearing, I can’t promise I won’t go off the grid again but I’ll try harder to be active in anyway)
Your mother always said crushes stayed crushes for a reason: they hurt. Bad. But you thought she was wrong, that your feelings for someone could one day be reciprocated later if not sooner, and that’s what led you to him. Kim Hongjoong. The day you met was a complete accident, your body slamming into his as you wandered aimlessly during your freshman year of high school. He was gorgeous with wide brown eyes, beautiful pink lips and cheeks, his hair styled differently from the other boys to reveal his forehead, showing his individuality. He was perfection.
“I’m so sorry. Are you alright?” Those were the first words he spoke to you, his voice so gentle, so sweet. And the way he reached out to help you with no hesitation, holding your hands as he pulled you up effortlessly.
It was love at first sight, all until he looked down to your hands, eyes catching a glimpse of your wrist, a row of zeros peeking through the sleeve of your uniform jacket. He slowly pushed the fabric up, both your eyes widening to see your soulmate clock had finally timed out, his hands releasing yours to check his own wrist, a quiver to his lips as his clock matched yours, his once soft eyes now hard as he stared you down.
“Stay far away from me.” He warned, not saying another word as he headed to his homeroom, your body frozen as you watched him disappear. He was so harsh, yet you liked him. Maybe suddenly finding his soulmate scared him, but it was no problem to you! You were bound to end up together so you played the waiting game with him, being the perfect soulmate you could possibly be whether he accepted it or not.
And that led you here, now seniors in college and still acting the way you were when you met. Hongjoong was still cold, treating you like some plague while you could only smile along. You weren’t sure how you missed the fact you lived in a predominantly werewolf area until a public service announcement came on your television one night to remind humans to stay indoors during the full moon, that night dedicated to werewolves being as free as they could be, but it made you even more hopeful when you were on your way home from work one night, taking a shortcut through the woods since it lead right to your backyard.
You were 16 at the time, so the sight of a shirtless person would obviously make you flustered, but a shirtless Hongjoong? Enough to cause a nosebleed. He was 16 as well, the exact age a werewolf develops a mate bond and, seeing as you’ve already been confirmed as soulmates in the human world, the sudden desire to latch onto you and never let you go once you locked eyes only made your lifelong attachment more real, and he was freaking out. He didn’t speak, opting to shift without removing the remainder of his clothes, your eyes wide as he moved deeper through the thick trees and towards the horizon where the orange sky was in full view and, the grin on your face just couldn’t stop growing. You knew werewolves had a stronger drive to their mates, so the idea that he could avoid you forever was laughable. Sure, you were both 23 and he has uped his disdain for you from staying silent to calling you any vile name he could think of, but it was only a matter of time before he came around. You just knew it.
“(Y/n), stop gawking.” Miyeon joked, poking your side to snap you from your daydreams, your eyes widening when you noticed a few of Hongjoong’s friend’s catching your gaze, a blush painting your face as you turned away.
“I wasn’t gawking, just making sure their table was okay. I am their waitress tonight.”
“And every other night because you said, and I quote, ‘I wanna work at any table my Joongie’s going to be at!’” She mocked, your eyes rolling as you looked back towards them.
You took a job at a diner just a few blocks from both your apartment and college campus, the pay great and the distance convenient. It was the only time you had to yourself instead of lingering to Hongjoong, figuring out his classes and breaks to give him snacks and lunches you’d personally make for him since you overheard him complain about the campus food before, only to be told they tasted like shit and he’d find his own food. It was a bit of a kick to the face to hear that, but you had one saving grace: his pack. The first time Hongjoong sent you away with a bitter remark, they were curious about you, tracking you down when they weren’t with their alpha to get more info on who you were and what you found so loveable about the man treating you like some demon. They were surprised by how sweet you were and how accepting you were to be the unwanted luna of an eight-wolf pack. They could never hate Hongjoong but they sure as hell loved you just a little more than him. Unbeknownst to both of you, Yunho and Mingi found out where you worked, making a plan with the others to take Hongjoong there as much as possible so he would have no choice but to interact with you, even if he stayed silent to not appear like an asshole in front of the various strangers dining as well. Hongjoong would honestly never return if he had the choice, but something about the restaurant’s signature burger kept bringing him back, which is why he was here, sipping his soda angrily as he waited on his meal that would be served by his worst nightmare, you.
“I don’t know why you don’t just find someone else. Isn’t it easy for humans to reject soulmates? You could move on with no problems.” She said, helping you grasp onto the steel tray covered in various meals, a huff leaving you as you put on a bright smile.
“Because I know it’s harder to move on for wolves. You guys don’t have a choice on who your mates are, and you just accept it once you meet them. I know Hongjoong will accept me eventually, it’s just gonna take some time.” You gave one more smile before wobbling towards the table in question.
Hongjoong tried not to follow the gaze of his pack as they watched you happily approach them, letting out a huff as you adjusted the tray onto your shoulder, grasping the plates and placing them in front of the respective person, Hongjoong’s nose twitching at the smell of his burgers and fries, not wasting anytime to dig in as the other’s thanked you, but you shyly looked at the male before you, the tray pressed to your chest as you tried to find a casual way to speak with him.
“I-uh- I-I remembered last time you asked for extra cheese, so I decided to put cheese in the burger too! I hope you like it better than the tofu stew I made you for lunch the other week.”
“I didn’t ask for extra cheese this time, so why put it inside my burger where I can’t take it off?” He said spitefully, mouth still full as he set the half-eaten burger down.
Your smile faltered but bounced back as you reached towards his plate.
“O-oh! Well, I can take it back and make you another! This time I ca-“
“’This time’? You should’ve just done it from the start. Your job is to listen and do what you’re told and you can’t even do that? What can you do right?”
You swallowed hard, your eyes wandering to the people now staring at you as the scene unfolded, your heartbeat ringing in your ears as you tried to hold it together. The worst he’s called you in an idiot and that was usually under his breath, so to practically say it out loud, in front of strangers while you were in the middle of a shift and forced to do nothing but smile like you usually would, felt like you were being stabbed and burned simultaneously. You couldn’t keep smiling, looking down as you tried to apologize, only for him to cut you off once again.
“Go bother someone else. Or hide in the back if you’re just gonna keep fucking up this much.”
The space was eerily silent, even with the soft music playing, your eyes not leaving your shoes as you shuffled away. It was a pitiful sight, Seonghwa releasing a breath he didn’t realize he was holding as you went to a neighboring table to retrieve plates and glasses left by a couple from before. He was ready to tear Hongjoong’s head off, not as a gamma to an alpha but as one friend to another, his jaw tight as he prepared to berate him the way he did you but, somehow, Wooyoung beat him by asking a question none of them thought to ask before.
“What did she ever do to you that you have to treat her like that?”
There was a strange but tense silence as they awaited his answer, watching him taking small bites of his fries as he stared ahead at nothing before turning to them with what could only be described as a sadistic smirk.
“Imagine being 13 and finding out the best years of your life, the years of dating, hooking up, just discovering who you are, are gone because your mate decides to show up and take that from you.”
“Are you fucking stupid? That’s the reason we have mates, so we can do those things with one person instead of random people!” Seonghwa nearly yelled, trying to keep his voice low as to not alarm anymore spectators again.
“For the past 7 years, I’ve been trying to get her to leave or just reject me, but it’s clear to me now that she’s just an idiot that doesn’t understand she’s not needed, by me or anyone. And, if you’re as dumb as her, I’ll simplify it for you: she’s unwanted.”
Whatever pain you felt before suddenly disappeared into a numbness you couldn’t explain. He knew you were there, that you could hear him, that you would hear him, and yet he still said it. You were conflicted and sad, your lips curling in a mixture of disgust and anger before settling on a bright smile. Never mind the fact your tears finally spilled over, that your heart ached with every beat and your body felt heavy with the weight of being rejected by someone you waited so long for, you just had to smile. Soulmates were supposed to be a sure thing, supposed to be your happily ever after, yet it just turned out to be a crush, one that you should’ve let die the day you met him.
“(Y/n/n)…” Miyeon spoke cautiously as you made your way towards the bar, your other coworkers watching from beside her as if you were some strange spectacle.
“We have to start cleaning, y’know? It’ll help us get out of here a lot faster tonight.” You said in your usual cheerful tone, tears still flowing and a faint crack to your voice.
“How about you just head home for the day, (Y/n)? We can handle everything from here.” Your manager said, her eyes scanning your face as you moved past them and to the kitchen, their bodies following instinctively.
“What? No! I’m fine! We still have 4 more hours to go and I think if I get a head start with the chefs for tomorrow lunch specials I ca-“
“(Y/n), please-“
“I’m fine, Miyeon! Really! It’s not like I got broken up with or anything, I never even had a boyfriend! Just a crush on someone that thinks I’m a waste of space! Isn’t that super ironic? Spending most of your life chasing after someone that wants nothing to do with you? That’s really funny, right?” You choked out, lips pursing into a thin line to keep in your sobs but your attempts were futile, everything slowly starting to hit you at once until your body collapsed, one of the other servers catching you before you hit the ground.
It was all a blur from there, the words of comfort everyone offered turning into muffled noise as your cries of agony came out freely, the way Miyeon dragged you from the emergency exit at the back of the building and to her car to take you home, and even when you crawled into bed and managed to sleep despite the pounding headache. 7 years came and went and there was nothing to show for it. No soulmate, no boyfriend, no romance, not even a friendship. You were empty and for some reason the only thing filling your heart and mind was the person who broke you.
It felt like time stood still yet hours had passed, Hongjoong back in his own bedroom pressing away at his keyboard, stopping occasionally to write a few notes down from his new composition, but he wasn’t distracted enough to hear his door open, various footsteps entering and even a few bodies settling in on his bed, his eyes not bothering to leave his notebook as he figured this moment would come.
“You don’t need to lecture me.” He grumbled, going back to play a few more notes only to find his keyboard unplugged, Mingi tossing the cord away as his alpha stared him down.
“It’s only a lecture if you listen and learn, which you won’t, so we’re gonna make you feel as bad as possible for driving away the only person that gave a shit about you.” San said with a bright smile, a scoff leaving Hongjoong as he finally turned in his chair to face them, eyes scanning the room to see this situation wasn’t playful but truly hostile, almost like an ambush.
“So, you guys don’t care about me?”
“Trying to get you to accept your soulmate so you don’t die shows we care a lot more than we should.” Yeosang spoke, making himself comfortable as he sat against the pillow and headboard.
“But we’re the real assholes for trying to force her with someone as shitty as you.” Seonghwa finally said, Hongjoong’s head snapping in his direction as he let out a dry chuckle, shifting in his seat so he was leaning backwards, arms crossed as he told himself to stay calm during his friend’s potential tantrum.
“I feel like you have the most to say since you’ve been in love with my mate the longest, so go ahead, tell me how I’m such a bad man, Seonghwa. I’m all ears.” His smugness made the tension worse, Seonghwa stepping closer with clenched fist.
“I’m not in love with you mate, but if I didn’t know someone was waiting for me because we were fated to be together, maybe I would have asked (Y/n) out, because she deserves better than a lowlife with the brain function of a dead goldfish. But I respect her too much as your mate and my luna to not push those boundaries so I tried to help her get closer to you because I know you, Hongjoong. You’re not an asshole or a jerk, but to her? You treat her like shit, when really you’d have no one without her. You’re a short, scrawny, nerdy moron that locks himself in a dark room for days on end just to complete a single project, then emerge to eat cold pizza and watch Despicable Me because your pea-sized brain can’t comprehend anything that isn’t brightly colored animation. If you take away your alpha status, no girl would even look in your direction but you have someone literally at your side, the only human not afraid of you, trying to figure out everything there is to know about you, yet you can’t give her the time of day. You probably don’t even know a damn thing about her.”
“Unfortunately, I know more than enough about her.” Hongjoong spoke, all amusement gone as he glared at the older male, their mindlink clogged with threatening growls and barks, trying to keep their fight from getting physical.
That first sentence alone made Hongjoong’s blood boil, his face contorted in a mixture of pain and disgust. How could Seonghwa even say that to him, plotting to steal his mate all because he was a bit uncertain? That all it was, uncertainty! He didn’t hate you, or wish you weren’t around, he actually grew to anticipate and enjoy your ramblings about your day or whatever new thing caught your attention, he actually even loved the lunches that you’d make for him. He couldn’t help that over the years he grew to crave you more, but the thought of fully accepting you and solidifying that the best years of his life were about to be gone, restricted to one person forever before he could even determine for himself his likes and dislikes, what he considered real love rather than what fate wanted him to feel, was terrifying. So he distanced himself from you, spending the years watching you from afar in hopes that if he didn’t get too close he wouldn’t lose his free will completely.
But it was a bad habit that seeped into your college years, everyone assuming he cared so little for you when he knew everything there was to know. He knew where you worked before any of the boys did, where your apartment was, the fact you were a business major planning to open a bakery once you graduated, he knew you didn’t have classes on Fridays but always came back on campus because you prepared meals for the men’s and women’s wrestling team which is where Jongho first met you, he knew you hated mint chocolate chip ice cream just like him but loved chocolate ice cream with mint chips, he knew you were always cold but overheat at night and wake up at exactly 3am to change into shorts and a tank top to be more comfortable, he knew about the birthmark on your lower back and a scar on your hip from a cat scra-
“Holy shit, you’re insane.” Wooyoung breathed out, Hongjoong’s eyes focusing on the room in front of him, a mixture of shocked expressions and amused ones filling his vision.
“I liked it better when we thought you hated her but, hyung, you’ve been stalking her since your freshman year of high school?” Jongho asked cautiously.
It was a weird feeling bubbling inside Hongjoong, the primary one being embarrassment. He knew he’d sometimes unintentionally rant in their mindlink whenever he was upset but to make an almost decade long secret public to his pack, revealing the intimate details of how you slowly but surely ingrained yourself into not only his brain but his life until he felt like he was going crazy? It made him tear up, his face burn with a blush as he was finally forced to face the truth. He pushed you away but wanted you more than anything. He wanted to spend his years free to explore before finally settling down only to reject every girl that came close to him simply because they weren’t you, and he took that anger out on you. What was he so mad about? The fact you stood by his side with a smile happily accepting him while he tried and failed to lust after other women? Was he that pathetic? He could admit now that he was and, if he could turn back time, he would’ve introduced himself and walked you to class. Just the first step of fully accepting you.
“You’re still ranting in the mindlink, you know?” Seonghwa said softly, regaining the once again lost focus of his alpha who was too consumed in his own pity to notice the tension died down, their gazes soft as they tried to sympathize with their leader.
“Sorry. I wish none of you heard that stuff.” He admitted, sniffling as he realized he’d been crying, hand hurriedly wiping away tears from his cheeks.
“Well, it’s a good thing we did. We still think you’re a moron, but at least we know you’re feeling guilty about all of this.”
“Don’t worry, Joong, if you know (Y/n) like we do, she always sees the best in people, so she’ll forgive you. But you still have to apologize.” San followed up Mingi’s words, wrapping an arm around Hongjoong shoulders while giving a bright smile in response to his weak one.
“She’s my TA in Calc 3 and I have that class around noon tomorrow. She always stays after in case anyone has questions, so I can stall until you get there.” Yunho offered, Hongjoong feeling a slight warmth in his chest thinking about it all. He’d let go of his insecurities, fix everything he’s done wrong, and finally have you as his. Tomorrow couldn’t come fast enough.
And tomorrow did come, but you were nowhere to be found. When Hongjoong arrived to Yunho’s class, he was met with a sympathetic apology on the account that you didn’t show up that day, you weren’t even at any of your other classes. The boys even tried to find you at work only to be met with a mob of your pissed coworkers led by Miyeon, threatening to rip their heads off if she saw their faces again. And that lasted for nearly 3 days, Hongjoong’s hope slowly dwindling away until he noticed two figures sneakily meeting halfway at the school’s entrance to exchange a large white cooler.
He recognized those bulky arms anywhere, and the thick Aussie accent was a dead giveaway as well, especially when it was followed by a distinct giggle. There was no mistaking it was Chan, but he could barely see the person with him, their voice low as they spoke to him and face hidden beneath a hood, but the scent emitting from them was strong, and beautiful, his eyes widening as he finally took it all in. You looked different, wearing a dark grey matching sweat suit which was a complete 180 from your usual attire, and you smelled faintly of passionfruit, possibly a change to your normal shampoo in an attempt to disguise yourself, but that thought only made his heart hurt more. Were you intentionally avoiding him? He could understand you hating him now but you were even ignoring the others in his pack, going from friends to complete strangers in a matter of hours and leaving them all devastated. He was going to fix this, here and now, if not for him and you than for his friends.
“Jongho’s been pretty upset about you not responding to his text. It’d really help if you stopped by to at least let him know you’re okay.” Chan pleaded, giving you a dimpled smile and hopeful gaze that made it impossible for you to hide your blushing face and grin.
“I just need a little more time, Chris. It’s like if you broke up with your mate and all the friends you made through her left you too. Except it’s me being broken up with by someone who was never my boyfriend and his friends came to me instead of me going to them. But, still, it hurts all the same.” You laughed slightly, trying to find some humor in the situation.
“You’re the only person that still calls me Chris.” He commented, trying to redirect the conversation as you clearly weren’t fine, neither of you noticing the burning glare just a few meters away.
“I just think it fits you best.” You admitted, neither of you breaking eye contact until you gasped, staring down to the box of food and drinks you bought.
“You should hurry to practice. You need to eat beforehand otherwise you’ll be weak after warmups alone. And I worked hard making those sandwiches and cutting that fruit, if it goes bad because you stayed here to cheer me up, I’ll really be mad.” You tried to put on your best scowl, your scolding undermined by his amused laughter.
“Alright, fine. Just stay safe, please?” You nodded, waving as you watched him turn to head to the school’s gymnasium, missing the way Chan glared at Hongjoong as he continued forward. Chan and Hongjoong’s packs were close, family almost, so the news of what Hongjoong did and why reached them in no time, and Chan was hoping today things would be fixed soon because, apart from you being the wrestling team’s beloved personal chef, you were like a sister to him.
You wasted no time leaving the campus behind, ready to go back into the darkness of your bedroom to forget you existed. You really wish you could disappear, that the ground would split beneath you and swallow you whole, but you couldn’t just leave when your phone was filled with calls and messages from friends and coworkers wondering where you were and if you were fine. So many people cared, what kind of person would you be to leave them all alone like this, especially when all they wanted was to help you? But being alone helped, trying to live life as normal as possible while adjusting to a Hongjoong-free lifestyle helped. It would take some time, but you’d find your normal someday. All you had to do was avoid-
“(Y/n)!” Your body froze.
He rarely called you by your name but his voice was distinct on its own, and it was the most sickly sweet thing you’ve ever heard. You wanted to run, to never have him see you like this. Dear god, how did you even look right now? You felt like shit, you probably looked the part. Dammit, Hongjoong was right all along, you were shit. You were worse than shit, you were just pathetic. A pathetic, lovestruck loser itching to just turn and say hi, to have the conversation you always dreamed of but you knew that wouldn’t happen. He’ll yell at you again. He’ll-
“(Y/n)? H-hi…” Hongjoong said shyly, standing right in front of you as you shrank into yourself.
His brows furrowed as you looked away, mentally arguing with yourself as you went over the days of self-reflecting you did, trying to find some lesson from your solitude to aid in this situation and it was starting to scare him. You were never quiet with him, you always had something to say even if it wasn’t important but, luckily, he had something important to say and hopefully you’d listen.
“I- T-the other day…. I w-was…. I-I’m sorry.” He stammered out, this confession a lot harder than he thought, especially now that you were facing him, eyes just as innocent as the day he met you, but he couldn’t run away this time.
“I don’t know what’s wrong with me, honestly. Everyone told me I was an idiot and I think they’re right. I treated you like you were garbage for years, all because I didn’t want to be mated so young. I just wanted to date around before I finally settled down with someone and, m-maybe I could’ve just said that, so you didn’t have to wait around for me all these years but, I never hated you, and I can’t hate you. I know you won’t forgive me right away but I think it’s only fair that I can be a good mate to you now.”
He swallowed hard, trying to suppress the desperate ‘please’ he wanted to add as your pupils began to shake, almost as if you were a machine malfunctioning, none of your self-reflecting preparing you for this moment, the only thing coming to mind being some sad blog article you found during your second day of isolation. ‘Forgiving and forgetting too soon is dangerous. Find yourself’. It wasn’t what you wanted but maybe what you need, what he needed. So, without hesitation, you smiled brightly at him although it never reached your eyes, clearing your throat as you tried to keep your voice steady.
“Hongjoong, I can’t forgive you easily. I waited for you, I tried to make you accept me and it always ended up with me getting hurt. Honestly, if I just treated you like a regular crush, maybe we could’ve forgotten we’re meant to be together until after graduation or something.” You laughed awkwardly, wanting to look away as his eyes softened in the saddest way, but you needed to do this, eyes locked on his as you exhaled through your nose.
“I couldn’t be by your side all the time, so whether you dated anyone is still a mystery to me but, I’ve been alone for seven years hoping you’d come around, and I think it’s time I take those years back. I’m not sure if what you said counted as a rejection or if we’re still mates but, if we are, we’ll come back to each other eventually. For now, I just need some time.”
You managed to walk past him without completely collapsing in tears, speed walking back to your apartment as you tried to swallow sobs, not even taking in the way Hongjoong stumbled to follow you, almost like a zombie as he attempted to plead for you to reconsider, to force himself to accept your decision but ask how long you needed, but he couldn’t do that. He tried to picture himself in your shoes, seven years of pining only to be publicly humiliated by the person you were meant to spend the rest of your life with. He couldn’t blame you for not forgiving him, and he sure as hell couldn’t force you, so he let you go, trudging in the opposite direction to his two story apartment just to hide in his bedroom until he didn’t feel like dying anymore.
But as more days passed and it only got harder for Hongjoong. He barely left his room but also never slept, every song he created was played in minor scales to fit his now melancholy life. The charisma he typically exuded was hidden with puffy red eyes from crying and a yellow knit sweater a few sizes too large for his body but it was the only thing that comforted him at this point, especially when knowing you had reconnected with everyone but him.
After exactly one week of distancing yourself from the world, you caved and meet with the boys individually (sans Hongjoong), apologizing for needing space although they completely understood, but the way each interaction ended made your guts churn with guilt. ‘Stay safe, luna’, that’s how all of them addressed you before they left, leaving you filled with the desire to return to how things were before. You missed your friends and, the fact your mate was finally ready to claim you, only made you want to forgive Hongjoong sooner. But you needed to be your own person for once. You had seven years worth of relationships to catch up on and you wouldn’t let them keep you from that.
Except when they did.
You should’ve known it was risky letting them know you had a date so soon, just some other human on campus that had yet found his soulmate. They sounded happy for you, Wooyoung going so far to ask where you met and where your date would be and what time, giving suggestions on what to say and wear since it was “your first”. It was a sweet gesture, and you thought nothing of it, but that information meant everything to him which led to now, the boys huddled together in their living room with a slightly paler and sickly looking Hongjoong curled into the corner of their loveseat.
“So they’re going bowling tonight at 8:30? We could ask her about it tomorrow in case she’s into him because hyung isn’t looking too great.” Yeosang commented, everyone looking to Hongjoong as he managed to drown his entire body within the sweater, only his head visible as he stared ahead like some lost puppy.
“He’s just weak from not being around her for so long, but their bond is still there so he’s fine. But we have nothing to worry about. She won’t fall in love with him so don’t get too involved, she’ll just stop talking to us again if we meddle too much.” Seonghwa warned, a chorus of ‘Okays’ confirming their dismissal as they all stood to retreat to their bedrooms.
“Wait, who is she going out with anyways? There’s only 10 other humans at that school.” Mingi’s question cause everyone to freeze, the silence in the room contrasting with the faint answer Woooyung gave in their mindlink, Hongjoong turning to look at him with hurt and pain.
“Why didn’t you say it was Yugyeom?!”
“I did! Just not to you, until now because I forgot to tune you out.” He said shyly, flinching as Hongjoong ran past him and right out their front door, none of them sure of what to do at that point.
It was such a minor yet major detail. Kim Yugyeom was admittedly the most wanted person any of them could think of. Human girls wanted him, werewolf girls wanted him, most guys couldn’t help but stare whenever he passed by. He was gorgeous with eyes that sparkled every time he smiled. He spoke about his soulmate with so much passion despite never meeting her, following his words with how he’d treat any girl before her with the same love and care. It was a pick up line meant to hook any hopelessly romantic girl in, the sweetest way to say their relationship wouldn’t last. But this was Kim Yugyeom, they knew it was only meant with good intentions, not wanting to string someone along with the false hope they’d be together forever. And that’s exactly what you needed. To explore while knowing you’d always come back to Hongjoong. But that’s not what Hongjoong wanted. He didn’t want you dating anyone else, finding temporary happiness when he was supposed to give you a lifetime of it. And humans were more flexible with their soulmates, they had the privilege to move one without the pain or withdrawals of losing their mate. Werewolves just died if they were rejected, heartbreak and loneliness consuming them, so there was no telling how your heart would react to someone exactly like you. Maybe you’ll fall in love with him. Maybe he’ll abandon his soulmate for you once he learns how amazing you are. Maybe Hongjoong would die from lack of food and sleep before he even reached your apartment, which he was still sprinting full speed towards. It was only 7:30pm, meaning he had an hour before you and Yugyeom went out, but he didn’t have a plan. He had no idea what he was doing, but he needed to stop you before you found yourself in love with someone else.
It was like some scene in a drama, Hongjoong’s chest heaving as he finally came to a stop just outside your apartment. His body felt like giving out as he climbed the two flights of stairs to your door, only to find you waving shyly to Yugyeom just as he turned away, trying not to lock eyes with Hongjoong but Hongjoong’s eyes were only trained on you, yours finding his as a panicked look crossed your face. Should you look away? Go back inside? What was he even doing there? You never told the boys your address… You gasped as he approached you, swallowing hard as you tried to remain calm, but how could you stay calm when you finally got a good look at him?
“Oh my god, are you okay?” You didn’t hesitate to ask, stepping further from your door to examine him, reaching for his face only to stumble back to your original position. You were making great progress, you can’t do that now.
“I’ve been better, but even then I wasn’t fine.” He said with a dry chuckle, your lips curling into a fake smile to not show how much his appearance affected you. He looked like he was on the brink of death. You knew wolves would get sick without their mates, but was it really killing him? Were you killing him?
“Joongi-Uhm, Hongjoong, how about you sit down? You look like you’re going to faint.” You offered, stepping back to allow him inside, watching him stumble past you and straight to your sofa as if he owned the place.
It was such an awkward moment for you, watching the poor boy curl into himself as his sweater practically became his body, a sigh leaving your lips as you shut your door. Instead of healing yourself, you had to heal him. It was oddly pitiful but your instincts screamed at you to do it.
Hongjoong shut his eyes as he eased into your sofa, feeling more comfortable than he was in his own home, even more so with your scent invading his senses, your body warmth radiating onto his as you carefully took a seat, trying to figure out what to do.
“Do you need food, or water? Or a doctor?” You asked, the giggle he let out this time weak but still enough to make your heart beat a bit faster.
“I just need you near me.” He admitted.
You let out a squeak as he shamelessly fell into your lap, head comfortably resting against your thighs as he laid face up. You couldn’t stop your hand from easing through his unnaturally colored locks, melting at how soft they were, bottom lip trapped under your teeth as you had to fight off the desire to cup his face. You’ve never gotten this close to him and he wasn’t telling you to go away, instead letting out content purrs as he nuzzled closer to you, your eyes burning with unshed tears. Why couldn’t he just want you from the start? You’d would’ve been able to hold him like this all the time, to see him happy and healthy rather than a shell of his former self. But he didn’t want you, and now he was at your apartment just to keep himself from dying. It was silly to think he cared about you as much as he did himself.
“Of course you do.” You whispered, laughing bitterly as your hand left his hair, moving to his arm to ease him back up into a sitting position.
You couldn’t get past him no matter how hard you tried, nor did you want to, but every word he said, everything he’s done, followed you like a ghost haunting some poor unsuspecting soul. Why did you have to love someone who didn’t love you the same? Why was this your life?
“Can you just hold me a little longer? P-please?” He asked with a cute whine to his voice.
You sighed and grabbed his arm, gently pulling him back into his previous position, fingers massaging his scalp as he finally opened his eyes to look at you. You were beautiful, even with the frown lines etched into your face. He wonder how long they’ve been there, especially when he’s only seen you smiling. Maybe you spent your alone time more upset than he thought. Where you upset before he came? You couldn’t be when Yugyeom was here, no one could be upset with him around. Except Hongjoong. He felt a grudge building inside him just from the mere thought of him with you. He felt like interrogating you on what he was doing here in the first place and why you gave your address out to just anyone, but it wasn’t his place to ask and probably wouldn’t be for a while, but jealousy and rage was all he felt so any reasonable thinking was thrown out the window.
“I don’t want you to see Yugyeom anymore.” He said definitely, your eyes widened as you stared at him incredulously, an amused giggle leaving your lips.
“That’s not for you to choose, Hongjoong. I told you I need time-“
“Those seven years you’ve been waiting I couldn’t be with anyone else. I always compared every girl I met to you and none of them came close to being as perfect, now I have to watch you date some dance major with pretty eyes because I was an insecure dumbass? He has a soulmate, and he’s always going to choose them no matter how much you like each other, so why not save your feelings? I’ll wait as long as you want me to, but just don’t fall in love with anyone else.”
You tried so hard to hide your smile. This wasn’t something you typically liked, possessive guys being on the list of things you found annoying, but considering it was Hongjoong, his soft eyes hard and sharp as their hue seemed to go pitch black as his words were both sweet and demanding, made you fall in love just a little more than you already were. You wanted to take this as his confession, as a truce in your previous one-sided enemyship, to tell him that you told Yugyeom you couldn’t go out with him because you could only see yourself with Hongjoong, but you needed time. Not time to date and explore the way you thought he had, but to watch him work as hard as you did to prove he was ready and willing to love you. It was a little malicious, sure, but it was all in good fun. He’d always be your mate after all.
“I don’t know, Hongjoong, you really hurt me…”
“It hurt knowing I wasn’t with you.” Your smile cracked through, causing his own to appear, your game already over.
“And how do you think I felt? You think you can make up seven years worth of waiting so easily?”
You squealed as he shot up, magically seeming more alive than when he arrived, eyes full of life and his lips and cheeks the same rosy color as when you met him, hands warm and soft as he cupped your face.
“Good thing I have forever to do it.”
The silence was comfortable but unbearable, especially as he hesitated to lean closer, your lips puckering to guide him but he didn’t seem to be catching on and, when he did, you shifted back, laughing awkwardly as you stared at one another, both of you taking a deep breath as you finally closed the gap between you, a weird electric sensation you could only dream of as your lips slowly grew accustom to one another, moving so slow yet feeling so urgent. It was all still new to the both of you, romance and dating only now becoming part of your lives, but it was exciting knowing that you had years ahead of you to perfect it, your entire lives dedicated to loving one another. And it only took a seven year crush to get you here.
389 notes · View notes
topazy · 3 years
Text
The fierce and broken
1.08
Masterlist
“Anya, look! Over there.”
You glanced at a fire in the distance. Oh, great. Burning alive would probably be better than whatever Anya had planned for you. You didn’t understand why she hadn’t just killed you? Was she toying with you? Anya stood up, “a signal fire.”
“Reapers.”
Anya glared at you before turning to face Tristan. “Let them know we see it. I'll send my fastest rider to warm the commander.”
“Is the boy dead?” Anya asked the masked grounder.
He nodded. No, no, no. Finn couldn’t be dead. How could you have let them kill him? You should have done more. He was your friend and he trusted you to have his back. You fought back tears not wanting to give the grounders the satisfaction of seeing your pain.
“Good,” she looked down at you. “Kill the girl, then catch up.”
The moment Anya turned her back you tried to run away, but the masked grounder yanked on your chains.
______
The first thing you saw when you awoke a two headed horse. You said nothing, pretending to still be unconscious. Try and live a little longer. The horse suddenly came to a halt at a hilltop, where the grounder surprisingly let you down gently.
You took a few steps back, prepared to run when a rustling noise from behind caught your attention. Tears of happiness threatened to spill from your eyes when Finn appeared from behind some trees. You ran over and hugged him, “Finn. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I don't understand how...”
“Lincoln saved my life. He killed one of his own people to do it.”
You turned to see the masked grounder remove his mask, it was Lincoln. “That signal fire? That was you?”
He nodded, “we needed a distraction.”
“And I’d say it worked.”
Lincoln looked at Finn before shaking his head, “not well enough.”
You and Finn turned to see another signal fire in the distance. Finn looked worried, “what does it mean?”
“It means Anya knows Alba is not dead,” Lincoln turned away and started to walk towards the tree lines. “We need to hurry. Let's hope they follow the horse.”
“Where are we going?” You asked.
“Somewhere they won’t follow.”
You bit down on your bottom lip, as Lincoln lead you towards some caves. “where does this lead to?”
“Everywhere. There's a tunnel to your camp. If we make it through, we should get there before Tristan.” Just as you reached the tunnels arrows started to fly pass you. “Go. Go!”
______
Once I’m the Reaper tunnels, Lincoln lit a small fire to make a torch and told us we needed to keep moving. I noticed him limping slightly, it was hard to notice in the dim light but I eventually saw the arrow sticking out of his side.
You interrupted Finn and Lincoln’s conversation about reapers to offer Lincoln some help. “I should clean that before it gets infected.”
Lincoln shrugged at your offer, “I've fought battles with worse wounds than this.”
“We're not in a battle right now,” you pointed out.
“Yes, we are.”
You looked at him curiously for a moment, watching as he pushed the arrow out of his side. “Why are you helping us?”
“This can't just be about Octavia,” Finn added
“You don’t need to tell us,” you shook your head. “Give me your knife, I’m going to heat the blade. You might want something to bite down on.”
Lincoln scoffed. “You people are so soft. If you don't learn to be more,” he let out a whine of pain as you pressed the blade against his skin to stop the bleeding. “What my people are doing to yours is wrong.”
You gave Lincoln a minute to rest before he insisted on walking again. Finn studied the grounder reading a map. “Wait. If you never were down here, how'd you map it?”
“Spoils of war.”
Finn shook his head still confused by Lincoln’s comment, but you understood it straight away. He had taken it off a dead body. You put a hand over your mouth to stop yourself from letting out a noise of disgust when you saw trailers piles of bodies. Finn put his arm in front of you, “did you hear that?”
You shook your head, and waited. Then you heard it, shouting in the distance.
“What is that?” You asked in a whisper.
“Reapers.” Lincoln handed a book and knife to Finn, “make sure Octavia gets them.” The shouting was getting louder, meaning the reapers were getting closer. “I'm gonna lead them away. Wait until they follow me, then run.”
You frowned, “I’d they catch you they will kill you.”
Finn spoke with Lincoln briefly before he went off. You and Finn ran as far as you could until a reaper found you. The reaper shoved you to the ground and held a knife up to Finn’s throat. Oh shit. Finn reached for a rock and bashed the reaper of the head with it. A look of horror washed over his face when the realisation of what he did sunk in.
Grounder, reaper, sky crew. It didn’t matter. All of them were human.
You rushed over to Finn and pressed your hands to his face, trying to get his attention away from the dead body by his feet. “Don’t look at him, look at me!” Finn slowly looked at you. “I know how it feels, I slit Caliban's throat to try and save myself, save you, get back to camp and warn them.” You suddenly felt your own tears threatening to spill. “We need to keep going okay?”
You stop by a stream where Finn begins to wash the reaper blood of his hands, while you did your best to clean your face of dried blood, dirt, and sweat the best you could. You did this in silence until Finn cleared his throat. “Do you think I should have fought for her?”
“Finn, don’t.”
“Clarke, I love her.” He stopped washing his hands and sat on the ground. “I’m in love with her.”
You could sense his hesitation, “but?”
“I love Raven and...”
“You broke her heart,” you sighed. “Finn this isn’t any of my business, please don’t drag me into this. We need to focus on getting back.”
“Yeah, your right.” He stood up again, and offered you a hand to your feet. “I just want to say one more thing, thank you.”
You looked at him puzzled, “what for?”
“Coming on this adventure with me,” he said with a chuckle. “Al you would have tried to save that grounder's life even if I wasn’t at risk. You have been there for Octavia, Raven, hell you even look out for Murphy. And if I wasn’t for you I’m sure I would be dead.”
“Lincoln would have saved you.”
Finn raised his eyebrows at you, “I don’t know if he would have fought so hard for just me.”
You opened your mouth to argue that he was wrong when a loud explosion came from the direction of the camp. “We need to go now.”
______
“Alba and Finn! They're back!”
Bellamy, Miller, and Octavia rushed to the gates when they saw you entering the camp. “Is everyone okay? We heard an explosion. What happened?”
Bellamy clenched his jaw, “Murphy happened.”
You noticed the bruising that was around Bellamy’s neck. Murphy...you couldn’t dwell on what your friend might have done. Jasper ran over to the small group, “Thank God! Where have you been? Where's Monty?”
“Monty’s gone?” You asked, shocked.
“We need to leave, now.” Finn said cutting in, “All of us do. There's an army of grounders, unlike anything we've ever seen, coming for us right now. We need to pack what we can and run.”
“Like hell we do!” Bellamy snapped. “We knew this was coming.”
“Not like this,” you said stepping forward. “Believe me when I say we aren’t strong enough to fight them off, if it wasn’t for Lincoln we would be dead. I don’t know what your decision is, but you better make it fast.”
Octavia turned from her brother to face you, “you saw Lincoln?”
“Yeah,” you nodded. “He killed one of his own to save us.”
“You expect us to trust a grounder?” Bellamy scoffed. “This is our home now. We built this from nothing with our bare hands! Our dead are buried behind that wall in this ground! Our ground! The grounders think they can take that away. They think that because we came from the sky, we don't belong here. But they're yet to realize one very important fact. We are on the ground now, and that means we are grounders!”
A few delinquents began chanting with Bellamy while Finn gave Octavia the gifts from Lincoln. Clarke walked over and added her input as well, while you looked around the camp for Raven.
Just as you opened your mouth to ask if anybody had seen her, you noticed her. “Raven!” You screamed running towards her, “Raven!”
You heard Bellamy saying that Murphy shot her. Finn caught Raven before she fell to the ground, “get her into the drop-ship!”
_______
You clenched your teeth as Raven squeezed your hand painfully tight as Clarke cauterised the gunshot wound.
Finn was pacing back and forth, “how did Murphy even get a gun?”
“Long story.”
“We got lucky.” Raven smiled. “If Murphy hit the fuel tank instead of me, we'd all be dead.”
You frowned not finding the joke funny. Raven had become a good friend to you, and truthfully you’d be lost without her.
“Wait, there's rocket fuel down there? Enough to build a bomb?” Clarke asked.
You eyes Clarke suspiciously, you had a pretty good idea of what she was thinking. Raven tried to sit up, “enough to build hundreds of bombs... if we had any gunpowder left.”
“What about the reapers?” Bellamy asked, changing the subject. “Maybe they'll help us. The enemy of my enemy is my friend, right?”
You share a look with Finn before shaking your head, “they won’t help, trust me.”
Finn stepped back, “can Raven walk or not?”
“No.” Clarke answered, “we will need to carry her.”
“The hell you will.” Raven tried to get off the table, “I'm good to go.”
“Hey, your not going anywhere.” Raven pulled at a face at you, “the bullet is still inside you. Until we take it out you can’t go anywhere, it’s not safe.”
You felt guilty, but you were determined to keep Raven safe. You listened to Finn and Bellamy bicker between themselves before you had enough. “Will guys stop it?” They both turned to stare at you. “The grounders are coming now, if we are going to leave it needs to be now. Finn I need you to help me find a stretcher.”______
Bellamy started to lead the delinquents into the forest with Clarke, and Finn standing beside him at the front. Octavia was on lookout, you had a brief reunion with your friend before you left camp. Octavia hugged you and filled you in on what Murphy had done. Sighing you glanced down at Raven, who looked pissed. She wasn’t happy about being carried on a stretcher.
Suddenly everybody came to a halt, something was wrong. “Everybody get back to camp now!”
The delinquents quickly turned around and headed back to the camp, as the gunners went back to their posts as you helped Raven get back inside the drop-ship.
You helped her sit down, “are you okay?”
“I am,” she nodded. “I’m glad you are back...I was so worried when you and Finn never came back.”
You crouched down to Raven’s level when she started to cry. “I’m not going to lie it was rough, but me and Finn are fine. And you will be too, soon as this is all over Clarke will fix you up.”
Raven shook her head, you for the feeling something else had happened. “That’s not it...I got...I don’t even know what I was thinking. When you guys were gone I slept with Bellamy.” You stared at her wide-eyed not knowing what to say. “You guys were almost being killed while I was-”
“It doesn’t matter,” you cut her off. “What happened before doesn’t matter, we need to focus on surviving tonight.”
Raven opened her mouth to reply when Finn, Clarke, and Bellamy entered the drop-ship. “We've got twenty five rifles with twenty rounds each, give or take. Roughly five hundred rounds of ammo. While you two were gone, we made some improvements. Thanks to Raven, the gully is mined.”
You watched as Raven shifted awkwardly, you wondered if she had any feelings for the leader of the camp. “Partly minded, thanks to Murphy.”
“Still, it's the main route in.” Bellamy pointed out. “If the grounders use it, we'll know. She also built grenades.”
Clarke frowned, “it’s not many.”
Raven flung her head back, “again. Thank you Murphy.”
Bellamy clenched his jaw, looking even more pissed than before. “We'll make them count. If the grounders make it through the front gate, guns and grenades should force them back.”
“Then what?” You asked.
“Them we close the door and pray,” Raven said softly.
While you half heartedly listened to the others talking you tried to think what you could do. Hearing Raven say how she had no gun powder gave you an idea. “What if we don't use a bomb, what if we blast off instead?”
Raven smiled at you. “Draw them in close, then fire the rockets. A ring of fire. I like your thinking Al.”
“Will it work?” Finn asked, obviously not convinced.
“If we give Raven enough time it will.”
______
You, Clarke and Finn were underneath the dropship, looking for its ignition system when you heard Raven calling out. “Somethings wrong, we need to go back.”
You quickly claimed back towards her, you walked towards her worried. “Raven what’s wrong?”
“I can’t feel my legs.”
You shared a knowing glance with Clarke.
“Okay let me check you again,” Clarke said helping Raven turn over. “Al can you give me a hand.”
After Clarke checked Raven over you discovered she was bleeding internally. The bullet was lodged somewhere in her spine. Finn had left to go find coagulant stuff that the Grounders use, while Jasper revealed he could split a wire and had come in to lend a hand.
You and Clarke had decided that one of you needed to stay with Raven. “You should stay Al,” Clarke said in a low voice. “She needs you more than me, besides I’m going to go check how things are going. Call me if you need anything.”
You nodded in agreement, “okay, be safe out there.” You turned and walked back towards Raven and Jasper. “Tell me again how this is going to work?”
Raven rolled her eyes at your question. “Told you five times already. Current flows to the electromagnet. That opens the poppet valve. Rockets fire.”
You fought the lump in the back of your throat, you knew Raven didn’t have long left. If the grounders weren’t attacking she would maybe have a chance, but without the time or correct equipment she didn’t have a good chance. You just prayed and hoped Finn found what he needed, because you needed Raven to live.
“Clarke! I need Clarke!” You yelled as Raven started to become unconscious. “Please don’t die on me,” you sobbed. “You are a fighter Reyes, don’t let go.”
You stood up, “Jasper keep wiring. I’m going to see what’s going on.” You stepped outside the drop-ship and ran towards Finn the moment you saw him, “you got what we need?”
He nodded, and handed you the medicine before picking up a gun. The grounders had breached the wall. You ran alongside Clarke back into the drop-ship, you rushed towards Raven and injected her with the coagulant, and prayed it was enough.
Hearing a loud screaming noise you turned to see Anya had joined you in the drop-ship. Clarke glanced at you before yelling, “Jasper now!”
You saw Jasper hitting the button, but it didn’t work. Anya suddenly jumped towards you with two blades in hand when Miller, along with some others, stopped her. “Stop wait!” You yelled when you saw Miller was about to kill her, “you can’t do this. We aren’t grounders, we don’t do this.”
Just as you finished talking Jasper hit the button again, and this time it worked. You tried your best not to think about Octavia, Finn, and Bellamy who weren’t inside with you. A few moments after the ship landed again Clarke opened the doors to reveal the devastation outside.
“Aren’t you coming?” Clarke asked looking back at you.
“No, I’m going to stay with Raven.” Kneeling down to Raven’s level you sighed, “you done it Reyes, you saved us all.”
She remained completely still, you started to blink tears away. She wasn’t dead. She couldn’t be dead. You stood up hearing a commotion coming from outside.
You grabbed a spare blade that was lying around and stepped in front of your unconscious friend protectively. The room was quickly filled with a thick red smoke that made it hard to breath.
You fell to the ground gasping as men in hazmat suits walked towards you.
81 notes · View notes
lighteyed · 3 years
Text
this is a place where i don’t feel alone / jack kline
Tumblr media
summary: jack and reader bonding after a hunt <3
word count: 1.7k
author’s note: i found this in my google docs and like... it was PRETTY cute and i didn’t want to let it waste away in my docs so here she is :) i want to post more and just write whatever i want for whoever i want and be happy on here. and i do love jack
Freshly showered after his first hunt, Jack wanders through your open bedroom door. His golden hair is messy like he’s never seen a brush before (which, to be fair, he most likely hasn’t) and his brown eyes are large in their curiosity. He hadn’t been in your room yet, despite living at the bunker for a couple weeks now. For the most part, he had no reason to go in there. And regardless, he was too nervous to even ask. You, however, were the only person in the entire building he felt completely at ease around, even more so than Castiel. The way you looked at him was reassuring. He never saw fear or apprehension when he met your gaze, just a desire to understand. A yearning for a friend. He’d heard your shower squeak to a stop, had waited a couple moments before trying to enter the room (learned that the hard way), and now here he was. Shy, awkward, but there.
 You placed the novel you were reading down on your bed when you noticed him, motioning for him to come further inside. “How you feeling after your first hunt, Jack? You okay?”
 He nodded, picking up all the little items scattered across your dresser. So new to everything, it was all unfamiliar. He touched a necklace lightly. “Yes, I think so. I didn’t realize there would be so much blood.”
 “Comes with the gig. You’ll get used to it.” If he sticks around that long. “Are you okay with using the shower now? Like the shampoo, the conditioner, body wash, the whole shebang?”
 “Yes! Thank you for making Dean show me how to do it, but I still don’t understand why you couldn’t, and Dean did not want to talk to me much during the process of showing me how to use the shampoo-”
  The cute furrowing of his brow as he fumbles around for an answer to his question makes you giggle. His inability to pick up on social cues was beginning to become incredibly endearing. “Yeah, well, it’s just different, and Dean probably just felt awkward ‘cause you know, you weren’t clothed.”
 “Oh, is that not okay?” Jack’s face scrunched up again.
 “Depends who you ask and what the situation is.” You patted the edge of your bed, gesturing for him to sit down with you. When he sat, it was stiff, hands folded neatly in his lap as he continued to gaze around your room. “But you got all the blood off okay? I know you heal quick and stuff but it was all in your hair and I don’t think Dean really drilled in the concept of a deep conditioning treatment.”
 “I think so,” he repeated, patting the top of his head. His hair was still damp and felt clean enough. You leaned forward to examine him, though, breathing in the scent of shampoo. It was kind of funny, the way he had a newborn baby look and feel to him. Even his scent was like a baby’s. It’s sweet, really. “I used the one in the pink bottle.”
 “My shampoo? I figured, you smell like flowers,” you grinned, leaning back against the headboards.
 He tilted his head, “Is that a good thing?”
 “Definitely,” you reassured. “Most boys don’t smell nearly half as good as you do right now. Your hair’s all messy, though. Do you know how to use a hairbrush?” You already knew the answer, standing up and grabbing yours from the dresser before making your back to the bed. “Sit here,” you motioned for him to move up closer to you, his back to your chest. Jack did so hesitantly, as he did most things involving you.
 “Dean didn’t teach me about a… hairbrush?” He relaxed a little at the gentleness of your hand smoothing out his hair, letting his shoulders slack.
 “Dean can barely remember a toothbrush, so much on his mind,” you say, lifting the brush and running it through Jack’s hair. There weren’t many tangles to sort through; his hair was cropped short, but it was thick enough where it needed a brushing here and there. It was nice hair. Everything about Jack was nice. He had nice hair, nice eyes, a nice smile whenever he was around you, and in general Jack was a sweetheart. You could never fathom Dean’s inability to give the kid a chance. He was never anything but kind. He didn’t even recognize Lucifer as his father. He viewed Castiel as his dad, and Castiel was the opposite of evil. He was practically harmless. And when Jack was here, half in your arms with his eyes drooping shut from the pleasantness of your soft caress, he was harmless, too.
 “This is very relaxing,” Jack tells you, breathing deeply as you continued. “Do you brush your hair out, too?”
 “Of course, but it’s not as relaxing to do it myself. Someone else brushing my hair is probably… I don’t know, calming. It’s the best.” One of the best feelings in the world really. Better than almost anything else, and something you missed dearly. A sigh fell from your lips, but you smoothed back his hair again anyway. “I think you’re all good now.” You expected for him to say his goodnights and leave the room, but he lingered. He had more questions. Mouthfuls of them.
 “Does anyone else brush your hair for you? Like you do for me?” He scoots up toward where you sat, shoulder to shoulder with you now.
 “Not for a long time. My mom used to, before I would go to school. Even when I got older, she’d wanna brush my hair for me. Said it calmed her down, helped her to stop thinking about how fast I was growing up.” You could almost see the gears whirring about in Jack’s mind, trying to figure out the story. Sam and Dean were your brothers, but you talked about your mother in a different way than they would talk about Mary.
 “But, Mary is alive, isn’t she-”
“Mary is great, but she isn’t my mom.” Jack waited patiently for you to continue, staring intently. “See, you’re half angel and you’re half regular human. Sam and Dean are just half my brothers. So, it’s kind of similar, except not really, but sort of… you get me?” Jack blinked twice, and you took that as a no. “Their mom is alive now, in 2018, but she died when Sammy was a baby and Dean was a little kid. Dean is twenty years older than me, and Sammy is sixteen years older than me, so their mom and dad had, like, no time to actually make me… uh together. Baby making is a different story, Jack, so don’t ask. Anyway, our dad, John, had me with a different woman a long time after Mary had passed away. We also have another brothers, and Dean says it’s because our dad can’t keep it in his pants, but I’ve never met him. Something about a cage. But yeah. We have the same dad, just different moms. And I don’t have my mom. So I’m totally out of luck with the whole parent thing.”
  You were sure Mary didn’t loathe you or anything, but you could tell it made her sad that she hadn’t been able to ever have her own real daughter, and that even though she’d been gone a long time when you had been conceived, you were still the result of John and someone else. It was understandable. You felt a bit nervous around her, too. Like you’d never be able to say the right thing or be the right kind of pseudo-daughter.
 “Where’s your mom? Why don’t you have her?”
 “She died, five years ago. Some demon’s sick way of getting all the Winchester siblings together again. I came back from school and she was just… dead. Sam and Dean were called in for the case and Cas told them who I was ‘cause I guess he could recognize it or something and now here I am.”
 “Do you miss her? I miss my mom all the time, and I never got to meet her.”
  “All the time, Jack. All the time.” He hadn’t meant to make you sad, but he felt it lingering in the air now. Your nose was scrunched slightly, your fists clenched and your eyes staring down at hands. “The day she died, that morning before I left for school, I wouldn’t let her brush my hair or even hug me goodbye. It was my first day of high school. I was fourteen.”
 Jack doesn’t know what’s come over him when he swipes his hand softly across your cheek, the tear smearing across your face. It’s so sweet and charming you almost wonder if maybe Dean had been teaching him how to flirt. “Thanks, Jack.”
 “I can- I can brush your hair, if you want.” He takes the brush, and you slide up between his legs and lean back against him. He runs it through your hair so very delicate in each of his movements you feel yourself flashing back to when it was you and your mother in your living room, always just the two of you no matter what, and you feel that same sense of peace wash over you as it had when you were a child. How could this boy, who provided serenity so quickly and completely, ever be anything but inherently good? It was impossible.
Jack was so content in his own actions, he didn’t realize you were already half asleep. Even breaths, relaxing into him, eyes fluttering closed. Before you can drift off, he says one final thing, “Our moms are probably in Heaven together. I think they would be friends. Best friends.”
 “Yeah? You think so? Even though God’s gone for good and it’s all kinda shitty up there?”
 “The best people go there. And our moms were the best.”
 He says it so confidently that you knock the brush from his hands as you turn around so suddenly to hug him, burying your face in his neck. “You’re so sweet, Jack. Thanks for everything,” you mumble against him. He hesitantly wraps his arms around you, and you smile so broadly you think it’s going to slip your face and your heart wide open.
 You are such a goner.
 And when you kiss him on the cheek before he leaves your room for his own, he blushes like a rose in the sunlight; he knows he’s kind of a goner, too.
245 notes · View notes
spnwriter · 3 years
Text
I was wrong and I’m okay with that.
Summary: The reader is love with Lucifer but is convinced he can’t love her back. 
Warnings: Some smut 
His hands run down my sides. They come to rest on my hips. He’s stopping me from squirming. He knows what I want. He’s teasing me.
 “Patients, little one. You’ll get what you want. Just let daddy touch you for a while.” Lucifer says before his forked tongue licks my ear.
 “Daddy.” I whine.
“Daddy.” I whine.
 “Bad girls don’t get to cum.” He warns.
 I can feel him straining against his jeans. I can feel how big he is. He isn’t even touching me, and I can feel myself dripping on the sheets.
 “You’re so wet, little one.” He teases as he slots himself between my thighs. “Look at you, you’re dripping.”
 He runs a finger through my lips. He circles my clit.
 “Now stay still. Daddy’s gonna have a taste.” He says before he wraps his arm around my thighs.
 I gasp awake. What the fuck was that?
 “Glad you’re awake. You were making some serious happy noises. What were you dreaming about?” Dean teases.
 I flip him off before I catch Lucifer’s eyes. He’s smirking at me. He can’t know what I was dreaming about. It’ impossible. He doesn’t have that power. I feel like I’d know if he did. Cas would have told me ages ago if he could see my dreams. I have too many nightmares for him to not have mentioned it. Maybe he’s smirking at me because I was having a sexy dream. He didn’t know about who. And it’d stay that way. If Dean knew he’d kill me. Sam would tie my up and try to exercise me.
 Where did it come from? Do I actually want Lucifer? NO, surely not. It was just a dream. I have them all the time. I’ve had a couple about the boys, but it didn’t mean anything. Our relationship hasn’t changed because my brain decides to make them the main star of a sex dream. I pushed it to the back of my mind. I’m supposed to be helping Dean.
 Lucifer has been eyeing me all day. It’s like he knew. He kept making that face at me. I’ve caught him looking at me boobs more than once today. He can’t possibly know. Right? I was beginning to doubt myself. He had to know. The way he’s been looking at me with such lust, he has to know. How am I going to get myself out of this one? I don’t even know if I really want him or not. I hope it’s my brain being an asshole. One thing I do know, I have to avoid him at all costs.
 Sam’s been giving me concerned looks all day. He knows somethings up. He can tell I’m anxious about something. He’s my best friend, of course he knows. I don’t know how to bring it up. I know he’ll ask. How does one admit they want to fuck the devil? Wait, I don’t want to fuck the devil. Why did I say that? Maybe I do want him? No, no, no. You cannot think like that. You don’t want him. The only thing that will come from wanting him is heartbreak. He’d never want me back. Not for more than sex. Humans are beneath him. He’s made that clear. I can’t let myself get emotional. Not for him. Granted he has been truly kind to me. He’s healed me when I’m injured. Even if it is just a small cut. He doesn’t do that for the boys. He’ll find me when I’m reading and just sit near me. He’s never said why he does that. He’s more than just Satan to me. That’s the problem. I know it’s more than lust I feel for him. We’ve gotten close over the last couple of months. He won’t admit it but, he’s soft with me. Sam’s worried about it. We’ve had the don’t catch feelings talk. I can’t help I’m in love with the archangel. Which is an awful thing because he will never love me back. He’s never been shown love, he doesn’t know what it is. I can’t blame him for it.
 I need some space. Yes, that’s it, space. Maybe separating myself from him will help. I can’t allow myself to fall deeper. It’ll destroy me. I haven’t told Sam or Dean about my feelings for Lucifer. I think they’d disown me. I’m sure they’d both be upset that I let it get to that point. I have a feeling that Sam knows. I can see it in the way he looks at me with such sadness in his eyes. He doesn’t want me to get hurt. Dean’s clueless as usual. He hasn’t caught on to what’s going on around him. He’s a little naïve when it comes to feelings.
 I decided to go on a solo hunt. The boys were not happy. Sam forbade me from going alone. Dean told me that it was dumb to go alone but didn’t push beyond that. The person or angle that was the most upset was Lucifer. He followed me around while I was packing naming all the things that could go wrong. He begged me not to go alone. He wanted to go with me. Then at least if I got injured, he’d be there to heal me. I told him know a thousand times. He finally accepted me answer but wasn’t happy about it. He walked me to the car.
 “Just be careful, little one.” He whispered before he shut the door.
 Little one. The word echoes in my head. Little one. Where did that come from? He’s never called me anything other than my name. He certainly never called me little one in anything but my dreams. He must know. Don’t get all worked up, Y/N. It’s probably just a term of endearment.  He’s probably just comfortable enough to call me something other than my name now. Relax, Y/N. Don’t get distracted. Hunting alone is dangerous enough.
 The hunt went okay. I killed the damn thing but not before it took a swipe at me. Fucking werewolves. I’m fine. Just three pretty deep cuts on my stomach. I bandaged them up before I left the motel. I know I’m going to hear an earful when I get home. I figure Lucifer would be the angriest. I was right. He was pissed. He said he knew he shouldn’t have let me go alone. I got hurt and he wasn’t there to heal me. He said it all could have been avoided if I would have listened to him in the first place.
 “Lucifer, that’s enough.” I snap at the angle.
 “Enough? You got hurt.”
 “And I’m fine. I’m a big girl. I can handle myself.”
 “Clearly not. You could have died.”
 “But I didn’t.”
 “I could have lost you.” His voice shakes in a way I’ve never heard before.
 “But you didn’t.”
 “Not the point. You aren’t doing that again, little one.”
 “Wait, a damn minute. You cannot tell me what to do.”
 “Yes, I can. And I will. You clearly can’t make good choices on your own. I won’t lose you because of a stupid decision.”
 “I’m sorry that’s not how that works. You can’t tell me what I can or can’t do. You aren’t my daddy.” I rush out before I could stop myself.
 “But you want me to be.” Lucifer smirks. “You think I don’t know about those dirty dreams, Little one?”
 “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
 “Don’t lie to me. I’ve seen them.”
 “You have?” I question.
 “I can see them all. You don’t do a good job guarding your thoughts.”
 “We aren’t doing this.” I announce.
 “You want me, I want you. What’s stopping us?” he presses.
 He wants me too. He can’t be serious.
 “Morality.” I suggest.
 “What isn’t moral about wanting the devil to have his way with you?” he teases.
 “Lucifer, I’m serious.”
 “So am I, I’m not letting something as trivial as morality stand in the way of what I want.”
 “You’ll never understand morality, Lucifer. I can’t do this.” I say before I try to walk away.
 I can’t allow myself to give in. He won’t catch me if I fall. I’ll shatter into a million pieces. He knew all this time. He knew how I felt and never said anything. Not until he thought I almost died. Not that I did. He’s always been a bit dramatic. He said he doesn’t want to lose me. I don’t want to lose him either, but we can’t be what I want us to be. He doesn’t want me in the same way. I have to keep reminding myself of that. I can’t let myself fall too deep.
 For the next couple of days, Lucifer hasn’t been around. In fact, I haven’t seen him since we got into that little fight. It seems if he can’t have me the way he wants then he doesn’t want me at all. I knew he didn’t want me in the same way.
 “You have to stop saying that.” Lucifer suddenly appears.
 “Saying what?”
 “That I don’t want you the way you want me. You think I enjoy this obsession of mine? You think I enjoy worrying about you when you hunt. Especially alone. I don’t. I hate it. I hate how loving you makes me feel.” He shouts.
 “Loving me?”
 “Yes, Little one. I love you.”
 “I love you too, Lucifer.”
 I stand to run into his arms. Content to let myself fall knowing he isn’t going to let me fall. He wraps his arms around me tightly. I was wrong and I’m okay with that.
38 notes · View notes
youaremysamshine · 3 years
Text
So I wrote a thing! A whole thing! If you want to read some mostly-angst about Sam’s feelings directly post-Gadreel, then maybe think about reading this? I’ve posted it below and on AO3.
-----
Sam is reeling after he has kicked Gadreel out. He never wants to lose time again - unfortunately, his body needs sleep. 
Post 9.10 "Road Trip"
----- The first night is easy. Tired as Sam is, the fear and pain and disorientation far outweigh any exhaustion, and despite promising Cas he’ll try to get some rest, he never considers actually going to sleep. The idea is absurd. So yes, on the first night it’s almost effortless to avoid sleep. 
The next day isn’t extremely hard, either - in terms of staying awake, that is. It’s plenty hard in other ways, of course, but a staple of Sam’s life has been the sleep deprivation, and he is well practiced in functioning on precious little. He can act awake well, and any slips are easily chalked up to his recovery from the events of the past… however long.
But Cas has now spent time being human, and so notices - where previously he might not have - that Sam needs sleep. And after his prompts have been shrugged off several times by Sam - “It’s only 10, it’s not that late...”, “Yes, Cas, after I finish this chapter…”, “Yeah, I’ll just have a bite to eat first…” - Cas all but leads Sam to his bedroom and tells him to sleep. Now. 
Sam acquiesces to this command, knowing Cas won’t let it rest if he does not, but again, he still has no intention of falling into unconsciousness. The idea of sleep is terrifying. He can’t. He’s well aware his body wants to - his eyes are sore and he has been frequently yawning for the past hour - but he will not give in. Not today. 
He picks up another book from his own shelves - the one he had been reading in the library had been left behind when Cas had shepherded him to his room - and settles down in his chair to read. Okay, he might be needing to reread each sentence to take in the meaning, and yes, he did just spend several minutes wondering if queue was really a word, but no, he won’t yield, this is still far better than-
He startles, jerking forward, bashing his abdomen against the desk. The book has fallen out of his hands, the noise waking him up from his split-second nap. 
Alright, he concedes. I’ll just take a short break.
He sets his phone timer for fifteen minutes. Then ten. Then five. Then ten again. He lies down and shuts his eyes, but immediately gets up again, pacing the room. He cannot do this. He sits down at the desk again, not bothering to pick up the book this time, tapping his fingers anxiously against the wood. He can barely think, he’s so tired. 
Go back to bed, set your timer. Lie down, just stay there. Wait. It’s only ten minutes. It’s fine, Sam. Just ten minutes.  The timer goes off, quicker than he had expected, and he resets it. This will work, this might actually work. He had changed into his pyjamas earlier to placate Cas, and is pleased with the comfort that they afford him now. His eyes close, his body relaxes, finally getting the rest it deserves. 
BEEP. A brief moment of panic checking where he is, that the time is right, but relief soon follows. He resets the timer. He falls back to sleep. 
BEEP. Frustration at being woken up. Relief that he has woken up. Resetting the alarm.
Sleep. BEEP. Repeat. Sleep. BEEP. Repeat. Unconventional, but effective. Sam sleeps. He sleeps well. 
And then suddenly Kevin is there, looking at him trustingly until his eyes burn out and he no longer can and Sam is painfully wrenched back into wakefulness, the name of the boy falling from his lips as his eyes fly open. He scrambles for his phone. 
4:32
It’s 4:32. It should be 2:15. He is certain he’d last restarted his alarm at 2:05. He had been checking each time, paying close attention because he needs to know. 
Oh God, 4:32. That’s two whole hours. Fuck. Anything could have happened in two hours. He can’t -- He needs --
Cas. Shit.
In a blind panic he races for the door, turning into the corridor at high speed, his hunter reflexes being the only thing that stops him from hurtling straight into the man he wanted to find. 
“Sam?” Cas’ voice is laced with concern, his eyebrows furrowed as he looks at Sam. But, importantly, he’s still here, still alive, nothing has happened to him. 
“I just…” Sam trails off. Now that he knows Cas is alright, the need to see him has completely changed into a desire to get away, be anywhere else. Cas’s penetrating gaze and worry is not what Sam wants right now. “Toilet,” he finishes lamely, and sidesteps Cas to head to the bunker’s restrooms. 
“Sam, I know you aren’t okay.” Castiel’s deep voice follows Sam down the corridor as surely as the angel does himself. Sam ducks into a cubicle and locks the door, hoping Cas will get the hint. 
“Sam?”
A deep breath. Closed eyes. He pinches the bridge of his nose. 
“I’m fine.”
He can almost feel Cas’s skepticism about that statement. “I highly doubt that, Sam. Let me help.”
“I’ll be fine.”
“Sam, I sensed you distress from-” “I don’t WANT you here, Cas!” Even as he says it, he hates himself a little bit more. Cas is just being kind, far more of a good friend than Sam deserves, but right now Sam just can’t stand it. “Let me shit in peace, please,” he adds for good measure.
Footsteps, and Cas’s presence disappears. When Sam makes his way back to his room, he does not see Cas. He’ll apologize tomorrow.
4:44. Three fours. Huh, Good job it isn’t three sixes right? But you can’t get three sixes on a clock, Sam. Unless you count in military.. miltry.. mil-i-ta-ry time? No, don’t be stupid. That only goes up to twenty-two - no, wait, twenty-four? But does it ever reach twenty-four… Oh, crap, I really, really need to sleep. 
4:45. Only one more hour until. Until what? He was going to say until he can get up, or at least, pretend to get up, and go about yet another normal day, no longer needing to feign sleep. But it hits him now that he’s still going to be bone-tired.
He wonders at how he has missed this great, big, obvious fact. He’s been so caught up in avoiding sleep right here, right now, every single minute, that he’s lost the bigger picture. How long can he carry this on for? The rest of tomorrow? Until Wednesday? But he’ll have to stop at some point. 
This is too big, too awful, for him to contemplate right now. No, right now he does not need to sleep. And he can continue doing that. Saying no. He’s good at saying no. He just needs to keep on, just keep on, Sam. 
The next hour goes as slowly as the last two had gone quickly. Eventually he judges it a suitable time to leave for the kitchen to get coffee. He’s thought of how to apologize to Cas, reworded it several times, a good distraction from anything else in his head. 
The kitchen is empty. He still stops every yawn, stifles every urge to rub his eyes. Cas will not get a chance to send him back to bed. The coffee helps, a little, and the second one even more. Cas walks in as he is sipping his third. Sam can’t read his expression. He instinctively lowers his eyes, looks away from Cas, then realises this could be seen as rude, and looks up again. He doesn’t want to hurt Cas more. 
“Hey, Cas.”
“Good morning Sam. Did you sleep?”
Sam notices that Cas missed off the “well” that usually accompanies the end of that question. Cas really knows him. 
“Yeah, thanks.” It isn’t exactly a lie. Sam is fairly certain he had fallen asleep for those two hours, and that has to count for something, right? He quickly plunges on, needing to put the apology out there as soon as possible, and ends up stumbling over his words in his haste. 
“Look, Cas, erm- I’m really sorry about pushing you off last night. I’m not really sure why I acted like that but yeah, it was- I shouldn’t have.” 
“Thank you, Sam,” Cas replies simply. “I was worried - and I was wondering if this morning you might be wanting me to leave properly, to give you your space.”
“What? No!” Sam stands up, needing to ensure Cas does not think that necessary. “No, that’s not at all what I… Well, I mean,” he bites his tongue and thinks about his words. “If you want to go, of course, I don’t want to be the thing that stops you, but no. I was just tired and, well, like you said, not okay last night. I want you to stay here, of course I do - that is, if you want to stay here?” He’s looking at Cas cautiously, hopefully, but is suddenly convinced that of course Cas will leave, everybody leaves.
“My wish is to stay here with you,” Cas says. Sam lets out an involuntary sigh of relief. 
“You look surprised,” Cas comments. Sam is taken aback at how easily Cas can read him. 
“Yeah, no - I… You don’t need to, like, look after me, or anything. And I was horrible to you last night.”
Cas frowns. “But I want to look after you, Sam Winchester. You’ve suffered a great deal and that needs to be put to rights. I am your friend. As for last night - I understand that you were tired; you have now apologised, and it is forgotten.”
Sam stares and nods his head, a little unsure how to react to Cas’s words. “Thank you,” he manages to say, quietly, and Cas’s gentle smile suggests that he might be aware of everything else Sam means beyond the two words. 
Cas walks slowly towards Sam, raising his arms somewhat awkwardly. “If you would like,” he says, “the hug we shared yesterday was rather comforting, and I would like to give you that again.” 
Unbidden, Sam’s mind snaps back to their first meeting. “The boy with the demon blood,” Cas had called him, then. He marvels at how far Cas has fallen, to be here, now, with him, but selfishly he closes the gap, and allows himself to be hugged. It’s the best he’s felt in a long while. 
-------
A second part may happen but probably not. Subscribe over on AO3 if you’re feeling lucky :P
32 notes · View notes
adhdeancas · 3 years
Text
Sunset Sound: Honey Bee
Chapter 17 is available to read on AO3 too :) 
trigger warning: panic attack/anxiety attack
Dawn has not quite hit when Dean is suddenly blinded by a light. “Son of a- what the fuck?” They’re awake before they can notice, blind fear running in their veins. Dean scrambles for his keys, stomps Baby into drive, and they’re 0 to 80 in seconds. 
The spotlight hits him straight in the corneas again and he swerves and almost runs into a fence lining the road. Cas jumps back into the front seat, tugs the wheel over and they crash through the barbed wire. “Cas, what the hell?”
“We need away from the road!!” Cas explains, holding a hand up to try to fend off the horrible glare. The spotlight fades as they hit forest, Dean swearing left and right as he guides Baby through tight swaths of tree trunks. They abandon her once it gets too much and make a run for it. The spotlight can’t keep up; it pans across trying to find Dean’s plaid in the overgrowth or Cas’s trench coat, but Cas grabs Dean and throws them both into a bush before it can. Dean spits out a leaf and glares at him. “You’re welcome.” Cas mutters back, except it’s breathless, because for some reason beyond the physical exertion, Cas can’t breathe. It’s then that he realizes he’d left the walkie talkie, their only connection to their friends, in the backseat of the car.
He takes in big gulps of air but it doesn’t seem to matter, or maybe those gulps of air do too much, because it feels like his head is floating. He squeezes his eyes shut and just holds onto Dean; he needs to know that he’s still there but the panic in his skull finds the image of him too much.
“Cas?” Dean whispers, and it sounds far off. “Cas.” Cas can feel Dean’s grip on his arms, pulling at his coat sleeves like he’s trying to reel him back in. “You okay? What’s going on?”
Cas shakes his head then nods. “I’m fine, I just- am having trouble-” he takes another gulp of air because he keeps running out, and his confusion mounts. Is this what running normally feels like, to humans? Is it usually so uncomfortable and debilitating? Perhaps his vessel is just woefully - as Dean would say - flabby. Out of shape. 
“Breathing?” Dean gathers from Cas’s exaggerated gasps. The fear in his own chest calms down a little bit now he knows what’s happening. “Cas, it’s alright, look at me,” He puts a hand on his cheek, trying to convince Cas to open his eyes. “Cas, trust me,”
Cas finally does, of course. He takes a breath in and opens his eyes, and it’s a mixture of stunning adrenaline and comfort that goes through his body when he realizes he and Dean are sitting almost on top of each other within the poking branches of the bush. Dean pushes a stick out of his way so Cas can see his eyes clearly. “What’s happening?”
“You’re having a panic attack, doofus,” Dean smiles at him with his best bedside manner. “It’s fine, happens to me all the time. Just-” He grabs hold of Cas’s hand and raises it so Cas can see. “Up means breathe in, down means breathe out.”
“But what if-” Cas throws a glance up, focused completely on the wrath of heaven that could descend upon them at any moment. 
“Since when are we scared of a couple dicks with wings? We’ll be fine. C’mon, have I ever let you down?”
Confidence leaks back into Cas at the reassurance, and a glint reaches his eyes as he says, “Well…”
Dean mimes out a sarcastic laugh and holds their hands up again. “Alright, asshole, breathe,” He lifts their hands slowly, Cas’s breath growing past what he’s comfortable with, then lets them down even slower. Over and over again until it’s all Cas is thinking about, and he knows his heartbeat has stopped hammering so fast against his ribs. It’s still there, the panic still bothers him, but it’s manageable, which he guesses is what Dean is going for. He nods at Dean in thanks.
“I’m okay. We can go.” Dean ignores him to do three more breaths, which Cas grudgingly follows. Then he highers himself into a crouch, still holding Cas’s hand.
Dean pulls him back onto the run and they sprint until they see a cabin in the distance. They make eye contact and agree; they can take whoever owns the cabin, if they need to. It’s Cas who pounds on the door and Dean who peeks in the window, which means he only looks after the owner answers the door and Cas has grabbed him by the throat. 
“Corbett?” 
Cas lets him go almost immediately, but the poor boy’s eyes stay wide. “Uh-D- Dean?” Dean steps up and puts a hand on Cas’s arm, pulling him back to try and make Corbett a little less on edge. It works a little bit; the nervous man withdraws slightly and rubs at his neck. “Dean… Winchester, right?” 
“Yeah,” Dean nods encouragingly and steps in front to ease his way in the cabin. Cas has a hand on his back trying to push him in faster, still aware of heaven’s spotlights looking out for them. “Been a while, buddy. Mind if we-?” He pats Corbett on the shoulder as he just stands there and stutters and Cas and Dean both get to work drawing warding on the walls. 
“What are you doing?” 
“Sigils, to keep the angels off your back,” Dean explains quickly, glancing at the guy’s bewildered expression. “Dude, what are you wearing?” 
Corbett looks down, offended, and puts his hands on his hips. “A robe- I didn’t expect visitors!” The robe is baby blue and it stops above his knees, and Dean raises an eyebrow at it. “Hey!” He throws his hands up. “Listen, I’ll change and all, but what are you doing here? And who is he?” 
“Cas. He’s- well, you can trust him.” 
“...why do I need to trust anyone?” Corbett says suspiciously. He walks over to his bedroom and reemerges wearing actual clothes, not comforted by Dean’s silence. “Do you guys want something to drink- water, coffee?” His politeness takes over by instinct, and he gestures his guests to his table. “Please tell me what’s going on.” 
“Coffee would be great.” Corbett looks over at Cas and he nods the same. “Uh, we got angels on our trail.” 
“And that’s… a bad thing?” 
“I’m not on their good list.” Now it’s Corbett’s turn to raise an eyebrow from the coffee maker. Dean smiles awkwardly. To this poor guy, being on an angel’s shitlist probably isn’t a ringing character endorsement. 
“It’s a long story; promise we’ll tell you some other time. But, uh, you mind if we lay low here for a while?”
Corbett shrugs, not sure he has much of a choice, but he plops down coffees in front of the three of them anyway. “Looks like we have some time then. But, um, Dean… how’s Ed?” The kid looks at Dean hopefully, flashing some puppy-dog eyes that even Sam would be jealous of. Dean looks at Cas for help, but of course Cas has no freaking clue what Dean’s conflicted about. He looks back at him without a care in the fucking world beyond burning his tongue on his coffee.
“He’s good. I mean, not- he’s- he was sad- he mourned you and all, if that’s what you’re asking.” The tips of Dean’s ears turn red and he changes the subject before he can shove his foot in his mouth. Last time Corbett talked to Ed, Ed was pretending to be in love with him. The key word being pretending. “Anyway, so, hate to break it to you but heaven sucks.” 
Cas steps in then, helps soften the blow and explains with more eloquence than Dean could. Corbett takes the news surprisingly well, something about always figuring God was a dick (yeah, growing up gay in the Midwest will do that to you), although the fact that Cas was/is an angel threw him for a loop. 
“So you don’t have, like, wings or anything?”
“I did. I do.” Cas frowns down at the table. After losing all but all of his grace, his wings are but a mangled decoration for him now. Especially being in heaven, not being able to fly around stings, it feels like he is moving in slow motion sometimes. Dean’s hand appears over the table and taps his, his fingers soft and consoling. He pulls back slowly and Cas wishes he would keep touching him. “I can’t fly now, not without my powers.” 
“That sucks.” 
“Yeah.” Cas smiles up at Corbett. The simple openness of this man is making Cas instantly fond of him. It’s a refreshing change of pace from hunters and ethereal creatures’ secretive nature. “It was worth it, though. I’m alive.” 
“... you’re in heaven.” 
Dean snorts, and Cas nods, amused. “I’m not here… naturally. Given the ability, I believe I would be able to traverse back to the mortal realm and live as… well, as a human.” He looks up and meets Dean’s eyes, who looks shaken by the information. 
Cas could go back and live on Earth as just a regular old human, and Dean… Dean’s dead. Dean’s dead at 41 and that’s that. The thought makes his heart sink like a rock in his chest. 
“Well,” Dean stands up and slaps a hand on the table, breaking the quiet of the cabin. “We should probably get going.”
“Wait.” Corbett stands too and grabs Dean’s arm, an action far more forward than he’s used to. “Dean, you gotta… please, tell me. What aren’t you telling me about Ed?” 
Dean sighs, looking around the cabin for a possible exit. His eyes land on a stupid framed photo of Corbett and Ed, taken like a selfie before front-facing cameras existed. His stomach twists in a knot. How is he supposed to ruin this guy’s happiness? He thinks Ed is gonna show up someday and they’re gonna be happy and together and gay in a dumb little gay paradise.
“Please. Dean, the truth.” 
The knot in his stomach twists further and Dean winces. He’s gotta tell him. Better that than the guy getting his heart ripped out when Ed finally shows up and doesn’t want him. He swallows and looks up at Cas, who’s frowning at him in confusion. Dean looks away. Better to look at Corbett. “Uh, listen, Corbett… Ed… he’s not in love with you.” 
Corbett blinks. “Wha- no, he- he said-” 
“Yeah, he lied,” Dean sighs and sits back down heavily. “Sorry dude, but…” He shakes his head. Corbett shakes his right back.
“No, he said he loved me.” 
“I know what he said!” It bursts out of Dean before he can stop it, louder than he meant. He pauses and clears his throat, and the whole cabin is silent. 
Cas puts a hand on Corbett’s shoulder. “I’m sure he meant what he said, in a way.” he says, talking out of his ass. He has no way of knowing what the situation was, but Corbett talks about this Ed man like they were close, friends, pals. 
Corbett keeps his eyes fixed on Dean. Dean sighs and turns his head, looking at the young man again. “Listen, I’m sorry,” But he can’t get another word out before Corbett starts crying. He puts his head in his hands and sobs, and Dean and Cas look at each other helplessly. Cas pats his shoulder, but he shrugs it off. Finally Dean heaves himself up and squats down next to Corbett. He tugs on his hands gently, pulling them away from his face, and Cas imagines this is how Dean dealt with it when Sam cried as a child. “Corbett, man… Ed loved you, just not… listen.” He stops and Cas can practically hear the ‘shit’ in his head as he searches for the right words. “Ed loved you enough to tell you he loved you, just so you’d be able to move on. To save you.” his voice is steadier now, quiet and firm. Cas stills, just listening. “And maybe he doesn’t want to come up here and shack up and watch Desperate Housewives, but,”
Cas watches Dean’s train of thought trail away as he catches his eye. He holds his gaze, and Dean looks heartbroken. He looks insecure. He looks like he did that night in the barn, when Cas recognized his self-loathing without a second thought. Now, the expression causes Cas physical pain, and he wants to reach out and soothe him. Instead, he just stares as Dean continues talking without taking his eyes off him. 
“I mean, he probably still wants to, y’know, have a beer or something. And that’s shitty, it’s-  disappointing as fuck but… you gotta respect that.” He clears his throat and finally looks down. “Everything’s shitty right now.”
“Everything’s shitty.” Corbett agrees, sniffing. He was too lost in his own misery to notice the considerable tension in the room. Cas can’t get the image of Dean’s face out of his head, his words playing like a broken tape-deck over and over.
The rest of the goodbyes are said through a haze of Cas’s thoughts screaming at him, and it isn’t until they get back to the car, fuzzy small talk half-remembered, that Cas gets up the courage to say something. Still, he waits minutes into the car ride, because he doesn’t want to seem like he has been waiting to get into the car. The logic makes no sense but it controls him, and it makes his voice quaver when he finally says, “Dean?” 
“Yeah,” Dean smacks his lips and glances at him once, fingers tapping the wheel to the beat of the radio. 
“Why did you want me?” 
Dean furrows his eyebrows and looks at Cas like he doesn’t understand the question. “Why did I…?”
“Why did you bring me- to go with you to the Garden.” Cas clarifies. Helpfully. Almost confidently, if he’s being generous with himself. 
Dean gives him an incredulous glance. “Why wouldn’t I?”
“I don’t have my powers, Dean. There are angels you could have brought with you that are far more powerful. Or, if you wanted to attract less attention, there are plenty of hunters who could slip under the radar, who are more skilled in combat.” Cas tries not to let his self-doubt seep into the words. He’s not sure if it works, because Dean shifts uncomfortably in his seat. 
“I dunno, because I didn’t want to bring those other guys,” he says defensively.
“Dean,” Cas pushes, insistent. His heart is speeding up in his chest and he feels like he might explode if he keeps going, but he has to. His momentum is already started, and the look in Dean’s eyes as he’d talked to Corbett is giving him strength. 
“What!” Dean sounds annoyed now, but it’s just more defense. He’s starting to feel like he’s being cornered into doing something terrible, like telling the truth.
“Dean.”
“Because I like you?” 
It’s even and it’s uncertain and it’s vulnerable. Dean is scared as hell, but then he looks at Cas and he gets terrified. A flicker of hurt passes across Cas’s face, and it’s so severe even Dean can’t miss it. 
Cas feels like a child. He feels like he’s being spoken to like a child. He had expected… but that was too much. Instead of simplicity and vulnerability, he heard patronization. “You don’t need to do that Dean.”
“Do what? I do like you, man. We’re- friends. Didn’t think I needed to spell that out for you.” Dean laughs nervously, completely un-fucking-aware of what is going on right now. 
Cas looks at his lap. “Claire has explained to me what ‘friendzone’ means, and I assure you, it’s unnecessary. It always has been.” Feeling is excruciating.
Dean sputters. He had not expected the word “friendzone” to come out of Cas’s mouth like… ever. “I don’t- I haven’t-”
“You’ve called me your brother multiple times.” Humiliation burns across Cas’s face. 
“No, no, I don’t mean it like- I’m not trying to friendzone you…” Dean laughs, a little crazed that he’s actually in this conversation. More that he’s about to- “I just- I want you around…  because I like having you around. I want you around because I like seeing you and I like your grumpy little jokes and I like your dumb info dumps about plants and I like watching movies with you you’re only watching to humor my dumb ass…” Dean trails off, the little bit of pink in his cheeks matching Cas’s. “Listen, Cas, you’re not like a brother to me. I mean, I love my brothers, but I don’t love them like that.” He swallows, looking at the road in front of them. It stretches quiet and unremarkable, like it has no idea the progress being made in this old hunk of well-shaped metal. “Like this.”
He keeps facing straight ahead, fingers tapping out of beat against the wheel now. Cas is dumbstruck. The car is filled with the heaviness of it. It’s finally out there. Dean loves him. Cas looks over at Dean, and lights throw his face into half shadow, and he looks beautiful. Cas reaches out and grabs his hand off the wheel and holds it in his own. Dean keeps driving. One handed.
tag list: 
@dochunterwitch  @justonecitizenoftheearth @gnbrules @purpe @castiel-is-a-cat @alienapparatus @damian-janus-pendragon
18 notes · View notes
explodingcolors · 3 years
Text
The Aftermath
-1-
"Fuck, this is boring" Dean mumbled to the open field and drank his cold beer. He was leaning on the Impala parked on the side of the road. He'd been in heaven some months now, and already he had traveled through heaven's version of the U.S. twice now, but without the things that go bump in the night, without Sammy, and without Cas he felt kind of pointless and ...lonely. He wasn't though, not really, he regularly went to mom and dad's, and Bobby's, and to Ellen and Jo's, and to other people that were already there, but the place certainly lacked something. The most emotion he'd gotten was when he fought his way into Angel's HQ looking for Cas and Jack, he didn’t find them so he coerced a couple of angels to regularly inform him about how Sammy was, and whatever little they knew about what Cas and Jack were up to.
He closed his eyes and prayed aloud "Cas, man, I know you're busy with Jack and... stuff... but if you could come by sometime, just to let me know you're okay, just for a second... come on, buddy, I'm at highway XX at the XX marker", he finished his beer much slowlier than needed and climbed into the car, with his head on the steering wheel, he waited.
Every day he prayed to Cas, he told him what was going on with the family, or what he was up to, a memory from the good old days, or a random thought, and where he was, always where he was... just in case. Sometimes he was angry, demanding, sometimes he was almost pleading, the sadness and loneliness seeping out in his words, but he never talked about Cas's last moments on Earth, he couldn't talk about that, wouldn’t even think about that. He usually also sent a little prayer to the kid, some stupid story to make him laugh, or a memory of the few they shared, those prayers were shorter and easier, left him feeling a bit lighter.
Every day he had no answer.
When enough time had passed he snorted, turned the key, and started off. Some miles ahead he turned on the stereo, Metallica started playing loudly, but he wasn't singing along, his face was tight, jaw clenched, his soul felt heavy, hope was a bitch that got him every time. "Hello, Dean", a voice strained through the music. The car swiveled left then right crazily fast as Dean forced control over the steering wheel. "Cas" he breathed out.
Hastily he thrust the car to a stop on the side of the road and threw himself to the angel on his side, "Cas, finally!", he said and held on tightly, the angel returned the hug awkwardly, "I've been praying to you. Everyday! Where have you been?", he said when he finally let go, his relief had morphed to fury now. The angel looked sheepish, "I know. We've been working. It's taking longer than expected", Cas's eyes diverted to the back seat and he followed his gaze, "Jack!", Dean said and put a gentle hand on the boy's head, "I've been praying to you, too", the boy smiled, "I heard you, you made me laugh", his smile was as wide as ever, but there was something else there too, something heavy, concern? Dean wondered. "Ok, what's up?", he asked, "what do you mean?", Jack’s confusion was blatant on his face, he was a god now but in many ways, he was still just a kid, their kid. He looked at Cas, "you are not here on a social call, just tell me what’s going on", Dean's voice was serious now, back to business, his eyes half-rolled, but there was the faintest shadow of a smirk on his face, he was glad to be needed and even more glad to see them. Finally.
Cas lifted his hand and snapped his fingers, "what the hell, Cas?", Dean said, but then he noticed where they were, the bunker, "Sammy?", his voice was low, longing, then louder as he stood up from his chair, looking around, "Sam!", "He is not here, Dean. We are in heaven still", Dean swirled to face Cas, "Where is him? Where is Sam?", "He is on a vampire case in Atlanta, he is fine. This is not about Sam. I- I thought a familiar place would be better", "Better for what?", Cas looked at Jack, then again at Dean, "As you know, heaven is short on angels at the moment. We've been trying to bring them back from the empty", now Dean was pissed, "Come again? You want to resurrect those assholes who wanted me and my brother dead? And you and Jack, they wanted you dead too, Cas!", "Not all of them, Dean", "Yeah? Like who?", Cas looked at Jack and then down to his hands before sitting down and answering, "Balthazar, Hannah, Samandriel, Gabriel, Michael,...", Cas said and Dean started to understand, they were the closest Castiel had to angel friends, he must be feeling guilty for their deaths, suddenly, Cas lifted his head and gazed at Dean, the fuck? Dean thought. Cas was staring at him meaningfully, but the message wasn't getting through, after a few seconds of silence, Cas said, "Anna".
Dean tried to hold Cas’s stare questioningly, but the angel stood up and walked toward a bookcase. After an uncomfortable while, Jack said, "Can you help us?", looking at each of them in turn. Damn, he'd forgotten the kid was there. “What? uh, I, uh, what can I do about this?”, he looked at Cas for the answer, but he was still leaning with his hand on a bookcase. “We can’t get in”, Jack said. He explained that he was no longer able to get beings out of The Empty, nor enter it himself. He didn’t even know if he was able to wake them. The Empty must have done something to block him since he got Castiel out. “I want to ask Chuck about The Empty”, he finished, “You what?”, Dean was exasperated, this was not what he intended when he asked them to come by, “I told you it’s a bad idea”, Cas said finally. “But he doesn’t have powers anymore, he can’t do anything to us”, Jack said, it was clear he’d already had this argument with Cas, “And what makes you think that he will help us? He can trick you. He will trick you”, “That’s why we need you, he won’t be able to trick you, and I can make him talk, he’s human now, humans talk”, “You will not do that!”, Castiel and Dean said at the same time, “That’s not who you are, Jack”, Cas added, “You won’t ever do that!”, Dean said and stalked out of the room.
Without thinking, he went to baby, he was so used to the quiet of the road he craved it whenever something rubbed him the wrong way, but he’d waited so long for them to come by, he wasn’t leaving. He walked back inside, directly to his old room, everything was the same. He wondered what had Sammy done with his things. Had he given his room to another hunter? Somehow he doubted that. Maybe he took it for himself, it would be a mess by now. The thought brought a smile to his face. He laid on his memory mattress and closed his eyes. The thought of Jack torturing someone was disturbing but silly. Jack wouldn’t do that, he probably wasn’t even talking about that, it was just Dean’s own experience that had made him angry, the shame of the kid finding out about it. He should go talk to them, he decided, but in a while, he’d missed this bed.
Thoughts came by unbidden now. The awkward way Cas hugged him back, the pointed look, the way he said “Anna” and immediately walked away, what was that about? Was it- was it jealousy? He hadn’t allowed himself to think about Cas’s words before The Empty took him, but they were there, in the back of his head, “I love you, Dean”, he’d said, what did that mean, exactly? Cas had said those words before, to them when close to death, but that time it had felt different. He tried to remember, the exact words, “happiness isn’t in having but in being, in saying it, I love you, Dean”, and The Empty had been summoned because Cas was finally happy because he loved Dean and told him. Nope! No! That wasn’t it. He meant something else and was too ‘Cas’ to explain it properly and Dean too dumb to get it. It must have been something else. Not that. Not that. “Dean”, a soft voice called from the door, and Dean jumped so hard he nearly fell off the bed.
“Dean, I’m sorry. Were you sleeping?”, how long’s he been standing there? can he read my mind? does he know? “Eh, uh, I, no, I, no, I was thinking… about Jack and Chuck and all that”, “Ohh. Are you ok? About hell - Jack, didn’t mean to- he doesn’t know the details”, “I know, Cas, it’s fine, I’m fine, I’ll come out in a moment. We’ll figure it out”. Cas seemed to analyze him for a bit and decide he was fine, “There’s something else”, he said and looked at the floor, “Can I come in?”. “Uhm, yeah, yeah, come in, Cas”. He shut the door and sit on the bed next to Dean, “What’s- What’s up?”, “Dean, I’ve been struggling with this for a while. The reason why I’ve been avoiding you is that I am ashamed”, Dean swallowed hard, here we go, damn it, “I’ve failed you, Dean, I’ve failed Jack. I’ve been trying to help him figure out how to restore heaven but I have no idea what I’m doing. I don’t want to become what I was the last time I failed you”, what? “What?”. “You know the things I did, Dean, when I took God’s place, I told Jack everything, but he says it’s not the same. He says that’s not what I’m doing and who I am anymore, but I- I don’t know. What if he’s wrong?”
At that moment his heart broke for Cas. He sat up and put his hand on Cas’s back. He’d known that he regretted the things he had done, but he never knew how deep his actions had affected him and shattered his confidence in his own decisions. Cas feared a bit of power would corrupt him again. “Cas, no. You always wanted what’s best for heaven. Even if you made some mistakes along the way, Jack’s right, you are not that person, uh, angel, anymore, the fact that you’re worried about it, proves it”, “I don’t know if I’m making the right choices, teaching him the right things”, “You are, Cas, you are good and you want to do what’s right, and Jack’s the same way, that’s why he chose you in the first place”. Cas lifted his head and looked at him, he’d never seen the angel so human, he had the impulse to hug him but settled for some pats on the back. “Thank you, Dean”, he said and left.
8 notes · View notes
nellie-elizabeth · 3 years
Text
okay, bear with me because this is kind of an unhinged ramble, but one of the things that’s sort of been driving me bonkers in the back of my head is that the finale was terrible... but that I honestly think it would have been quite easy to change just a few little things to make it... well, maybe not good, but certainly less rage-inducing. I don’t think any version of the story as presented to us would have left me thrilled by this ending, but I can actually think of a few very easy changes that would have had me walking away maybe a little irked, certainly disappointed in what we didn’t get to see, but ultimately more at peace.
Let’s pretend this is a world in which they couldn’t/didn’t want to have Misha in the finale, couldn’t get a big ol’ group of returning stars... and we basically had to work with a bare-bones structure like what we saw in the finale. So this isn’t pie-in-the-sky, what I would do if I could have what I wanted... This is down to earth, pragmatic, simple things they could have done to make it better, if we’re constrained to the basic shell we were provided.
Ready?
1) This is the big one: flip around the "Sam’s domestic life with his son” montage so that it starts BEFORE the vampire case and Dean’s death.
So basically, the montage at the beginning, we see the boys living normally in the bunker. We get the pie scene (which I’ll touch on in a second). But then, instead of segueing straight into the hunt where Dean dies, we see a flash of the next 5 to 10 years of their lives. We see them living in the bunker, but it gets slowly more homey, more lived-in. Vitally, for Dean’s character specifically, we see hints of him picking up new hobbies, maybe he’s playing the guitar, we see him in the kitchen, maybe he’s playing D&D, I don’t know. Something to show that Dean is living life and enjoying it, getting to find out who he is without the weight of the world on his shoulders. He’s not totally settled, you get the sense that the lingering sadness of his losses, the trauma of his life, is always going to weigh on him... but he’s doing what he can to enjoy the little things, and he’s taking pride in his continued work as a hunter.
Eileen moves in, and if we can’t see the actress, fine, we can have Sam saying “Eileen called, she’s getting home late, we should start dinner” or whatever. It’s implied that the three of them are living there together. We see that Sam has a son, we see that Dean is an active part of the kid’s life, a great uncle, totally spoiling his nephew. Maybe we see shots of Sam and Dean on other hunts, we have phone calls, mentions like “hey, Jody has a lead” or “Charlie called, she wants us to back her up on xyz.” Basically, through a montage or through a short sequence of scenes, we see that Sam and Dean have continued on, life as usual... but there’s a peace to it now without big cosmic forces standing in their way. Maybe Sam and Eileen semi-retire and move out into the suburbs, and we get shots of Dean-as-the-new-Bobby, a role I always imagined for Sam, but it works for Dean, too.... the bunker is central station, he’s coordinating things, he’s finding new skills within the life of hunting, he’s mentoring people and still getting to save people and hunt things.
And then, Sam and Dean, who don’t always hunt together anymore as Dean often goes off with other hunters, and Sam and Eileen are less active in the field now that they have a kid, decide to take a case together, just a routine hunt. Cue Dean getting impaled on a nail (or maybe he dies in a less awkward way so he doesn’t have to lean against a wall and make his big death scene looking completely unhurt? Which I thought was really strange).
But basically, we could have a version of the death scene as stands. I do not hate the idea of Dean dying in a relatively “mundane” way... literally just the idea that he lived for a handful of years after defeating Chuck makes the idea of his death SO much less empty and devastating for me, because this time Dean didn’t get cut down before he got to enjoy his life at all. It’s still sad that he’s dying younger than he should have, but he died doing a thing that he loved, he found love in the hunting lifestyle without the pressure of other’s expectations, and we got to SEE that, we got to see him making it his own, and making it just one important slice in a more robust and happy life.
Vitally, instead of saying “it’s always been you and me” during the goodbye speech, and making it all about how Sam is the center of Dean’s world, it would be framed more like “I’ll be okay, Sammy, and so will you... go home to your family, to our family, tell the kid to be good, but not too good, okay? And I’ll go be with our family that’s already passed on... we’ll see each other again. We’ve got Jack looking after us.” When Sam says “I can’t do this alone,” Dean doesn’t answer “yes you can...” Instead he says “you’re not alone, Sam.” Because he’s not. He has a family already at this point, and Dean is his family, but he’s not the only person left in Sam’s world that he loves. Dean can still say he was scared to get Sam at Stanford, that he didn’t know what he’d have done without Sam... but he’s so glad they got to be family, got to share so many amazing years, got to be best friends and be there for each other through so much craziness. This time, Sam’s “don’t leave me” isn’t quite as soul-renderingly tragic, because Sam has a wife and a kid already. The death scene would emphasize the tragedy of this separation, but acknowledges that they’ve grown to have more to live for outside of each other.
Then, we see more of Sam growing old, but he seems less utterly miserable, had more years with his brother before the end, knows that Dean got to be a part of his kid’s life, and feels confident that Dean is at peace and that he’ll see him eventually.
2) The second change is even more simple, it’s literally just adding in a couple extra lines of dialogue to... fix the Castiel situation a bit. So. Ahem. Again, this is imagining a world where Misha can’t be in the episode, where we’re keeping the basic structure. There are just two small changes that fix this, for me.
One, before the montage and Sam having a kid and all that, at the pie festival scene at the beginning... when Sam says “I miss Cas and Jack,” we get a slightly more robust response from Dean. He talks about how they fought so hard to break free of their unhealthy cycles, to escape the influence of fate, and that as much as he wants Cas back, he can’t risk making things worse again and betraying Cas’ sacrifice... but THEN, IMPORTANTLY, he says “Jack’s gonna be hand’s-off, but we know he’ll look after Cas no matter what.” This could be just a faith thing, or if we’re allowed to stretch back into 15x19 and fix that too, Jack could even say that as part of his goodbye, like, “I’ll make sure Cas is at peace.” So now, even though it’s annoying that Dean isn’t rushing to rescue Cas from the Empty, it could be more akin to the later decision when Dean tells Sam not to try and bring him back. Sam knows Dean is going to a peaceful afterlife when he dies, and Dean and Sam let Cas go because they know he’s safe with Jack and also given his rest/peace. (Instead of what we got, which was just... they knew Cas was in the Empty and didn’t even bother checking if Jack would like... handle that?)
Second, when Dean goes to Heaven, at least having lived a decade or so of the life that Cas sacrificed himself to provide for him, he sees Bobby, Bobby gives him the spiel, says that Jack and Cas helped make Heaven better (in this version, Dean would be less surprised by this; he would have known even as he was dying that Jack was going to look out for him and all of the other deceased souls). And then Bobby says, “what do you want to do?” and Dean says “I want to see my family... gotta get some good quality time in before Sam shows up and hogs all the attention.” So it’s like a balance of the fact that he’s waiting for Sam and can’t wait to see him again, but it’s implied that he goes and hangs out with his mom (and dad, ugh, John is the WORST, but maybe he went through The Good Place afterlife and he’s learned to be a good person lol), with Bobby, with Cas, and even with Jack, maybe, as perhaps the new God doesn’t mind chillin’ with the already-dead humans, or at least the ones who raised him.
It would be dealer’s choice as to how Destiel-ish Dean’s final line here could be... he could say the thing about waiting for Sam but going to reunite with his family, first, and throw in something about “there’s a conversation with someone that I really need to finish.” Something vague enough that the homophobes would let it fucking air on TV, but promising enough to put a smile on at least some people’s faces.
Then, instead of the montage being just Dean driving around, we get something a little different, but still very simple. We see Dean maybe hanging out in a house in Heaven, playing with Miracle the dog, maybe a callback to a hobby we saw him have on Earth, playing music or cooking, implying a full afterlife even if we don’t get to see the other people... he’s setting a table for like a dozen people who are coming over soon for dinner, or he’s shouting out “hurry up, my parents are hosting” to an unseen occupant in another room, we see Cas’ trench coat slung over a chair, general signs of habitation and home.
We’re cutting between this Heaven montage of Dean, with the montage of Sam on Earth, growing older (and in my version, someone who knows what they’re doing makes Jared’s wig and age makeup look less like the stuff of nightmares, oh holy hell....). We see Sam letting go, dying of old age, going to his rest...
And in Heaven, Dean suddenly freezes in the middle of playing fetch with the dog, or frying up some bacon for breakfast. He gets a look on his face... a hopeful smile. He’s just realized that Sam is coming. He can sense it. This is what he’s been waiting for, the last thing he needs to make Heaven truly perfect. He gets in the impala (which isn’t literally the spirit of his car, it’s just that everything he loves from Earth gets to be with him in Heaven), and he drives off to the bridge while “Carry On Wayward Son” kicks onto the radio. He gets out of the car, reunites with Sam, says “hey, Sammy. Everyone’s going to be so excited to see you.” They hug, they look out over the bridge... The End.
SO. Just to reiterate, this is NOT my version of what the “perfect” finale would have been. This is more just a way for me to process my feelings about the fact that the episode was pretty much entirely awful in my opinion, and it would have been relatively easy to fix it so that it was only... medium awful. Like, with basically no huge changes, just letting Dean be a part of his nephew’s life, getting to be a part of Sam’s life as Sam started a family, and then still having the poignancy of him dying before his time, but also as a hero, as the best version of the thing he always thought he needed to be but now has chosen to be, has taken ownership and pride in. And then by just buffing up some dialogue in a couple of spots, we could have had an episode that still centered primarily on Sam and Dean, still ended on just the two of them (which, frankly, I’m not mad about, it’s their show, and it has been from day one...), but still honored the message of “family don’t end in blood.” Still honored the idea of found family and community and belonging and living for more than just each other.
And if that’s what I had walked away with... well, I would have had some complaints. But I think the whole thing would have felt a lot less... empty to me. And it would have been doable, within the constraints of COVID, and limited actor availability, etc.
There have been some finales that I’ve hated so truly and thoroughly that there was simply no way to engage with them without it tainting the whole show for me. This finale was so weird, because I feel like just a few band-aids, some punch-ups to the script, would have made me feel SO much better about what we got. They didn’t need to reinvent the wheel with this one. Even given the constraints, they could have been a little more creative, a little more thoughtful, and pissed people off a lot less.
24 notes · View notes
Photo
Tumblr media
Destiel Trope Collection 2020 Day 13: First Kiss
AWOL | @madcatm
Rating: General Word Count: 1017 Main Tags/Warnings: First Kiss, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Canon Compliant Summary: The first time Dean kisses Cas, he runs away
Cinnamon and Sugar | @ialwayscomewhenyoucall
Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1273 Main Tags/Warnings: mutual pining Summary: Dean has feelings for Cas, but he is afraid to show them. Cas has feelings for Dean, but can't find the right words. So he decides to say it with pie.
A New Year's Kiss | @gii-heylittleangel
Rating: General Word Count: 1274 Main Tags/Warnings: holiday fic; first kiss Summary: Celebrating New Year has never been so good if Dean's being completely honest.
The First and the Fondest | @misha-moose-dean-burger-lover
Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 1594 Main Tags/Warnings: Alternate Universe: Modern Setting, Fake/pretend relationship, First Kiss, Castiel and Dean Winchester need to use their words Summary: "Tonight's fireworks night." Dean shrugs, trying to go for nonchalant and hoping he lands in not-shy, at the very least. "Out by the riverfront, sitting on blankets on the grass, and staring up at the night sky - the whole shebang." "So?" "People will probably expect us to kiss." Dean clears his throat, studying Cas's face for reactions. There's nothing for him there, but he doesn't stop staring. "And since we can't do that, we might -" "I -" Cas interrupts, and maybe he's blushing a little. Jesus, Dean hopes he is. "I can." Dean raises his eyebrows. "Kiss, I mean." And fuck that fucking fucker for not specifying that he can kiss Dean, because those words, strung together in a sentence and delivered in Cas's glorious fucking baritone would've automatically sent Dean to paradise. ~ OR ~ The One in which they pretend to be dating, but the kisses are real.
Wax Poetic | @cr-noble-writes
Rating: General Word Count: 2134 Main Tags/Warnings: love spell, fluff, confessions, first kiss Summary: James and Portia are tired of watching Dean and Cas pine for each other, so James takes matters into his own hands. Or, the one where Cas and Dean can only speak to each other in rhyming couplets and Dean professes his love in a sonnet
Fireworks | @banshee1013
Rating: Explicit Word Count: 2784 Main Tags/Warnings: Fluff and Angst, Mild Smut, First Kiss, First Time, Hurt/Comfort, Reunions, New Year's Kiss, Separations, Flashbacks Summary: Castiel finds himself in Hong Kong on New Year's Eve - alone again, naturally. He never expected in a million years that the man who broke his heart fifteen years ago would turn up here, of all places, on this night.
Consider This: Peanuts | @cr-noble-writes
Rating: No Rating Word Count: 2899 Main Tags/Warnings: fake dating, wedding, biphobia Summary: Dean isn’t sure why he RSVP’d to his dad’s wedding with a plus one, but only a week before the big day, he still doesn’t have a date. So he decides to do the next best thing. He asks his best friend to go with him and pretend to be his boyfriend. Author’s Note:This is unbeta’d. I wanted to get this posted before submissions closed, so I didn’t have time for a beta. But I did manage to get my word prompt from this week and last week in here. Hope you guys like it!!
As Many Kisses As You Want | @gii-heylittleangel
Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4432 Main Tags/Warnings: near death experience; hurt/comfort; angst; hurt!Dean Summary: Dean gets really hurt in a hunt and Castiel has no idea what he's supposed to do. He really doesn't.
Hold onto me, breathe, breathe, you're not drowning | @pray4jensen
Rating: Mature Word Count: 4538 Main Tags/Warnings: First Kiss, Hurt Dean, Hurt/Comfort, Love Confessions, Angst with a Happy Ending Summary: Dean grins. “You don’t wanna try it?” Cas rolls his eyes. “These usually work on first sight, Dean, so unless you want me to fall in love with you, I suggest you put it away.” Dean licks his lips. He watches Cas’ mouth. Then he tucks the love potion into the Gross Stuff drawer and turns away.
Anything | @amyoatmeal
Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4578 Main Tags/Warnings: fake relationship, first kiss, fluff, alternate canon Summary: A newly human Cas has never had cake before. Dean's fixing to change that.
Swayze Always Gets A Pass | @amyoatmeal
Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4766 Main Tags/Warnings: first kiss, drunk dean, drunk cas, movie night Summary: After Dean and Cas get into an argument over a case, Dean tries to apologize by asking Cas to Netflix and chill. Featuring: Cas the movie critic, his drunk friend, Dean, and Dean's tired brother, Sam. Told from Cas' awkward POV.
Disappear in the Trees | @specsofwings
Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4817 Main Tags/Warnings: AU, Hunter Dean, Librarian Castiel, Fairy Tale Elements, Psychological Horror, Dean and Cas Have a Profound Bond, Falling in Love Summary: In a library that once entered, can't be exited, Castiel, against his will, works as the lone librarian, doing his best to make the people who wander inside comfortable in their final moments. Forced to weave human lives into storybooks for the library to devour, he hasn't seen the outside world in decades. Enter Dean Winchester. Can the chains of the library hold Castiel with another, more profound, bond forming between he and Dean?
The Beat of Hearts and Wings | @pomegranatedaffodil
Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 4857 Main Tags/Warnings: Fantasy AU, Dragons, Friends to Lovers, First Kiss Summary: Dean and Castiel have spent years dreaming of the day they will be assigned their roles at the Draconium, where dragons and humans work, live, and train together to ensure the peace and prosperity of the realm. But when Dean is granted the coveted role of dragon rider and Castiel is assigned to the care of the smallest dragons, their lifelong friendship is suddenly put to the test. With the help of dragons both large and small, surely Dean and Castiel will find their way back to their former closeness-- or maybe even to something more.
Distance | @baby-in-a-trenchcoat7
Rating: General Word Count: 5105 Main Tags/Warnings: Fluff, Mutual Pining, Kissing, Idiots In Love Summary: Canon!verse Destiel. A series of Destiel drabbles inspired by scenes from the show and the lyrics to Distance by Christina Perri, highlighting two adorable idiots falling in love. Spoiler warning: Final section is taken from a scene from season 15.
Not Your Average B Slasher Movie | @deansrightfulangerissue & @unforth
Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 5127 Main Tags/Warnings: Referenced Homophobia, Referenced Torture, Alternate Universe Summary: A one-on-one first date at an isolated cabin with love-of-his-life Cas? Sign Dean right the fuck up. Everything is going peachy-keen, until Cas, damn him to hell, just has to go and tell Dean all about notorious local murderer Alastair...
Divine Intervention | @rogueangelshunter
Rating: Mature Word Count: 7548 Main Tags/Warnings: References to Torture, H-e-double-hockey-sticks, Pit!Dean, What Dreams May come inspiration, if everybody gets their own Heaven then I figured everybody would also get their own Hell, and Dean's Hell is a very special place, special hell, Hell is a place, Gore, mcd is Dean way back in season 3, first kiss Summary: God will never get over Dean Winchester.
It's In His Kiss | @a-mandala-rose
Rating: Explicit Word Count: 7877 Main Tags/Warnings: Closeted Dean/Cas, Hockey AU, First Kiss, Secret Relationship, Homophobic Language, Coming Out, Bottom Cas/Top Dean Summary: “Dean,” Cas says, straightening from his position against the wall. “I’m sorry if that kiss made you uncomfortable earlier. That wasn’t my intention.” Direct and to the point, that’s Cas. It’s a trait Dean usually appreciates, he likes knowing where he stands with the man, but right now it’s making him decidedly uneasy. Cas is right of course, the kiss did make Dean uncomfortable, just not for the reasons the other hockey player thinks. As per usual, Dean covers his discomfort with bravado and sass. “Nah, I wasn’t uncomfortable,” he lies. “Besides, you call that little peck a kiss? I hate to break it to you buddy, but Edith the octogenarian kissed better than that.” Cas looks momentarily annoyed with Dean’s obvious deflection, but then his expression clears and he steps into Dean’s space before cocking his head and narrowing his eyes, “Are you criticizing my kissing abilities, Dean?”
Head Over Feet | @jemariel
Rating: Explicit Word Count: 9439 Main Tags/Warnings: Fake dating, first kiss, past Inais/Castiel, semi-public sex, frottage Summary: Castiel's brother is getting married, and Cas's ex boyfriend is in the wedding party. Putting an ad on Craigslist for a wedding date seems like a terrible idea at the time, but one of the responses is... very intriguing... Sparks fly, boys dance, and everybody lives happily ever after.
Love is Scary | @verobatto-angelxhunter
Rating: Teen & Up Word Count: 9888 Main Tags/Warnings: Destiel, first kiss, love confession, season 13 canon divergent, mutual pining, post AUMichael!Dean, PTSD, angst with a happy ending. Summary: This is a little FF very fluffy with POVs. I wanted to write about Mildred meeting Cas and giving Dean advices. So... Enjoy!
Luminescent | @saltnhalo
Rating: Mature Word Count: 17222 Main Tags/Warnings: Marine Biologist Dean Winchester, Creature Castiel (Supernatural), Deep Sea Adventures, First Meetings, Strangers to Lovers, Romance Summary: Embarking on an expedition to the deepest, most unexplored parts of the ocean is all Dean has wanted to do since he was a kid. Now, his dream is finally coming to fruition, and he can feel in his bones that there is still so much to be discovered. But nothing could have prepared him for what he finds in those uncharted, impossibly deep waters…
254 notes · View notes
gray-is-neutral · 3 years
Text
Supernatural
a fan fiction pt.4
Cas’ POV
Feelings are odd. It’s funny how a few little chemicals can effect your whole way of thinking. There is still so much I don’t understand about humans, but I’m pretty sure they don’t understand it themselves. Humans can’t choose what they feel, and even though they know this, they get mad at the other fir feeling the way they do? Why can’t these things be rational?
But there is no rationality for how I feel for Dean Winchester. It’s self destructive, addictive, and insane. It caused me so much grief, but I don’t want not to feel this way for him.
We all have our additions. Alcohol, drugs, sex, demon blood, but my poison gives the best high. It’s soul crushing and I love it. Being in love with Dean Winchester is literal hell, but it’s paradise too. How does one explain that? Most days, I would gladly punch him right in the nose, but that thought makes me sad.
Looking at him now, the Empty didn’t matter. It was horrible. I was in pain, and I just wanted to stop existing. He looked at me, and like every time, my heart melted.
“What do you want to talk about?” I asked. He wants to talk about the confession. I was so happy I told him, but that was when I was just going to die right after! I didn’t need to deal with the possibility of rejection. Why does this feel so bad? What the...fuck? Yes fuck! What the fuck is this? Why? Why are emotions so hard?
Now I’m worried what Dean feels for me. I mean, he went to the Empty to save me, and then, “Then I’ll stay with you.” Did he mean it? Was he just trying to motivate me? Would he have stayed in the Empty with me? Forever?
He didn’t even tell Sam, however. I was the one to tell him, and I’m regretting that I did.
“You’re in love with Dean?” he asked surprised. “I admitted that I did. I thought he would have told you?” I said. “Dude. It’s Dean. He would rather get on a plane and sky dive into a volcano than talk about feelings. No chic flic moments, remember?” Sam had said and smiled. “Yeah, I remember,” I told him.
“If you ever think about sacrificing your self for me or anyone else, I will drag your ass back from the dead to kill you myself,” Dean said. I looked at him. He looked relatively normal, but his eyes told a whole other story. Deans eyes always have what he calls “Chick flic” moments. He won’t say a word, but his eyes would scream what he’s feeling.
“I wouldn’t dream of it,” I said, feeling myself relax. Sam was right. “Dean won’t be able to just come out and talk about his feelings. He just...can’t,” he had said. Dean’s experience in love has been Hell. The lack of live from his parents. Loosing Lisa and Ben, and being forced to be responsible for his younger brother like a parent would, Dean’s....love map? Yes, that is what it’s called. His love map isn’t right. He’s still learning, and how can someone love another person, if they don’t love themselves first?
“We’re back with pie!” Jack yelled as they entered the bunker. It was hard to believe that he was God now. I looked at the child I helped raise. Dean regrets everything he’s done and said about him. He loves Jack, and I know he wishes he could take it all back. Maybe we can all start to actually heal now? No more big evils. Just family, and time.
“Hell yeah!” Dean said. “Uno?” Sam said, walking in. “Really?” “Well you two were taking forever,” said Dean. “What were we supposed to do? Braid each other’s hair?” Dean said, digging in the grocery bags for the pie. “I also have liquor!” said Jack, a little too proud of himself. “I can drink even though I’m God, right?” he asked.
“I guess we couldn’t stop you?” Sam said. I smiled despite myself. I missed this most of all. I was never letting this go again. It was too perfect. “We got the movies! They’re scary movies!” Jack anounces as he finds himself a place on the couch. “Hurry or I’ll start it without you guys!” he called. “I’m making popcorn! Wait!” Sam called.
Dean was getting a piece of pie, as I was looking for ice. “Hey I know angels don’t normally eat, he said, taking a huge bite of the piece he cut for himself. “But do you want a piece? It’s pretty good,” he said. “No I’m good,” I said. “Good, I didn’t want to share,” he said. He had pie all over his face. I held a straight face, and then imagined us like a scene in a movie. He would ask if I wanted any and I would kiss him, and say something teasing. Like, “You had enough on your mouth.” But then I thought that would be disgusting.
He walked out of the kitchen to claim his seat of the couch as Jack got up to get something. Probably candy.
“Dude he is definitely in love with you,” said Sam, joking. “He just doesn’t offer pie,” he said. “Your not funny. Leave it alone Sam. “I thought you two were together now?” Jack asked.
I honestly would have rather been with the Empty. No amount of torture could compare to this. I am getting better with expressions, I think.
“Stop that,” I said. “Can’t we just enjoy a movie?” I said, as Sam grabbed a six pack of some kind of beer. “Yeah, sure,” said Sam. “Opposite sides of the couch!” Sam yelled as Jack laughed. He wasn’t sure why he was laughing, just that it was supposed to be funny.
I rolled my eyes and walked into the living room. “What are we watching?” I asked. “Some horror movie,” he said. “Y’know, you aren’t obligated to hang out with us. You did just come from the Empty. If this is too much for you-“ “No,” I said. “I was isolated. I don’t wanna be alone,” I said.
He cleared his throat as his brother sat on the other side of him. “I got this!” Jack said, making the movie play with his mind. The kid is literally God, but he is so amazed that he has powers, isn’t that...sweet? Jack may be God, but he’s still Jack.
The movie played and Jack soon realized he didn’t like horror movies. “It’s a ghost! Salt! Why won’t they get salt?” By the third movie, Sam had fallen asleep and Jack was deep into the movie. I didn’t really care for it, but I was happy just to have this. This is normality. Movies, junk food, our family. It was perfect.
I noticed a sudden solid warmth on my shoulder. Dean had fallen asleep. How many sleepless nights had he gone through? He’s never fallen asleep like this. Not this vulnerable.
I smiled. Never mind, now it is perfect. I relaxed into this normalcy. I don’t sleep, but I closed my eyes to let myself take in the peace.
Suddenly, the Tv went to static. “Is your party super boring?” a commercial voice said over the tv. The people that looked like children look-alikes of us agreed, upset. “No problem! Just invite your good friend! Gabriel!”
“Heya boys, miss me?” Gabriel asked.
...
“How are you-?” Dean started. “Me? I’m good,” he said. “Castiel!” he said. “This is an exciting day for us, isn’t it?” “Gabriel, how did you?” I started. “Get pass the warding? Oh I just hitched a ride on that lil’ CD, now let me help you boys out.”
Suddenly, we were in a club setting. The place was empty. “You guys don’t have many friends, no surprise, but uhh how’s about some entertainment?” he said. Exotic dancers, male and female, appeared. “Gabriel!” Sam yelled, having had enough.
“Oh!” he lightly tapped his head as though he had forgotten something. “Sorry Sammy, is this more your speed?” We heard a confused scream. Eileen appeared from no where. “Sam!” she called upon seeing him. “Oh wait! Sorry you two broke up right? How’s this?”
A woman in a doctor’s uniform appeared. “What the fuck?” she said turning around quickly. “Where the hell am I? What just happened?” she said. “Enough!” Jack said. We were suddenly back in the bunker, but so were Eileen and the woman.
“I’m sorry, Mr. Jack God sir,” Gabriel said, innocently. “I just wanted to express my gratitude,” he said. “For?” Sam asked. “Why? You saved me!” Gabriel said, dramatically draping himself across Sam. “If you hadn’t woken me up, I would have never escaped the Empty!”
“What?” Dean said, shaking the glitter from his hair. “My new bestie, Sammy boy here, threw those fireworks right by my head. I woke up and high tailed it out of there,” he said. “Did anyone else escape?” Jack asked. “A few low-level demons. Some low level angels. Crowley, Michael, Luci-“ he said.
I could have cried. Never, we can’t just have one normal night can we? “Don’t worry,” said Jack, taking Gabriel by the shoulder. “You guys help them, I’ll handle things really quickly,” he said and just like that, he was gone.
“Jordan!” Dean exclaimed, going to her side. So this is Dr. Jordan Blake. “What in bloody Hell is going on around here?” she demanded. I looked at Sam who was trying to talk to Eileen, it was in sign language, so I didn’t understand.
“I was in New York, and I’m where now?” Dr. Blake asked, trying to make sense of it all. “Look,” Dean said, gently embracing her. “If you stay for just a minute, we can talk and I will explain everything,” Dean said. She nodded and he cupped her face.
Eileen just wanted to leave. Sam offered to drive her home, but she said no. It was hard to tell how they felt about the other. Sam seemed to want to be with her, but Eileen seemed to want to forget recent events. I didn’t blame her because I understand wanting to forget. She felt used and forced. Now sh egg doesn’t know how she feels or felt. She doesn’t know if it was real. But did forgetting what happened also mean forgetting Sam?
Jack soon returned and took Eileen home. “Call me?” Sam asked. “Maybe,” she said quitely. Then she was gone.
I looked at the doctor, but soon noticed his young shr was. A little younger than Sam. I felt a pang of jealousy. He was so soft with her, but then I thought about the way he looked. It wasn’t how he looked at Lisa. It was how he looked at Jo or Sam.
He saw her like a sister, and for a second I was jealous of her. This is pathetic.
Dean gave her the her the speech. “Angels?” she huffed. “Of course it’s angels,” she laughed. “If I hear another thing about angels tonight,” she said.
“What do you mean?” Sam asked her. She rose her shirt to show the same tattoo that Sam and Dean had. “You’re a hunter,” said Sam.
This was going to be a long night.
11 notes · View notes