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jeffersimp · 6 months

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𝐇𝐨𝐰 𝐰𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐒𝐭𝐚𝐧'𝐬 𝐠𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐫𝐞𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐚 𝐬𝐮𝐫𝐩𝐫𝐢𝐬𝐞 𝐤𝐢𝐬𝐬 (+ 𝐁𝐮𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐬)?

See my masterlist here!

—❢—

×A/N×

Omg Tumblr actually have WORD LIMIT?! I didn't know it-

I wanted to upload this post with Craig's gang reactions, but Tumblr stopped me-

So now I have to make an another post about Craig and his gang-

Nvm- I hope you guys will enjoy this!

Oh and there are probably some spelling mistakes bc I wrote this at late night and I didn't look through it- sorry :")

×❢ About my work ❢×

fluff, some curse, all the way fluff, Stan's part is a little bit longer, bc I gave him plot, the reader can be gender neutral, they/them pronouns used for the reader, pet names (like baby, babe, hon, etc), the reader is in a romantic relationship with the characters and I think that's all-

All credit of the gifs goes to the og creator!

Fandom: South Park

Character(s): Eric Cartman, Stan Marsh, Butters Stotch, Kyle Broflovski, Kenny McCormick, Y/N|The Reader|You

Ship(s): The Characters x Y/N|The Reader|You

Type: Headcanons

ー❢ー

★ Stan Marsh ★

• Stan played with his video games on your side

• and you got bored of watching it

• you looked at your boyfriend who concentrated very hard about what he was doing

• he looks so cute when he tries to focus on something this hard

• he seemed lost in the virtual world, so you choosed that it's time to bring him back to reality

• he got red so quickly

• his face is all red and omg he can't hold back his vomit

• You looked over the game what said “Game Over”.

"I'm sorry hon, I didn't mean to disturb you." you said as you looked back at your boyfriend who was red as a tomato.

"N-no! It's okay!" he looked up at you with a soft smile on his face. He got closer so you could rest your head on his shoulder as he holds you. "I can do this later." he put the console away. "So what should we do next, babe?"

• he will probably give it back by giving you a kiss on your cheek or on your neck

• it's not important if you do it in private or in public

• he doesn't mind it actually

• he just gets flustrated very easily

• but be prepared Cartman's "eww get a room" thing if you do it in front of the guys

★ Kyle Broflovski ★

• he actually prefers it in private because of Cartman

• Cartman would be like "(Y/N) IS A SLUT FOR KAHL AGAIN!"

• but he definitely loves it when you do it ♡

• he just gets so fast as red as his hair

• he won't give it back bc he is afraid to do it

• he will actually ask you so he could give the kiss back

• "Oh my gosh, Kyle. Of course you can give it back!" you giggled because of how red and cute he was.

• He says thank you by giving soft kisses to your face.

★ Eric Cartman ★

• WELL

• I can imagine Eric as the typical “ "Eww what was that?" "A kiss." "Gross... Do it again." ” person

• yk that I'm an Eric kinnie, but seriously I can't imagine him like touchy or a lovely dovey person

• he doesn't get so flustrated of it, actually he doesn't show any signs of he's liking it or not

• but trust me, he does like it

• he really does, he just don't want to look like a cherry infront of you

• so he acts like he wouldn't care

• if you don't want him to be a hot head, do it in private

• please do it in private

• oh and don't prepare for return

★ Kenny McCormick ★

• same as Eric, he won't be so flustrated about it as the others

• but he LOVES it so much

• he does it with you as well, so it's not new for you two

• he doesn't care if you two in public or not

• and he will give the kiss back with no hesition

• probably he will give much more than you did give to him

• sweet, loveful smooches all the way!

• "Alright, Ken, that's enough!" you giggled as you tried to stop him from giving to your neck an another soft kiss.

• a little blush still appeares on his face, but believe me, he's very happy about the surprise kisses!

★ Leopold "Butters" Stotch ★

• the colors changing so fast on his face

• he really appreciates tho

• if you do it after he had a long day, it will definitely cheer him up!

• he actually says thank you after it

• "O-Oh, well..." he can't even talk because of flustration! He's speechless! "Thank you, (Y/N)!" he sends a sweet, happy smile to you that appeares on his flushed cheeks.

• he loves it everywhere and everytime, so he doesn't actually care about privacy

• it's so fun to him!

• he will definitely return it!

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naskaolgia · 1 month

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Some cartman sketches and questionable clyde

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kenny-the-ken · 1 year

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Stoned to the Bone

Just before I start I wanted to write a little disclaimer, in this fic everyone is aged up, they are all 18 and this fic is not suitable for minors!! There are mentions of drugs, alcohol, smut, sexual content, swearing and a lot of innuendos. Also this is my first fic so please be nice ☺️

You sat in the dingy upstairs apartment that you lived in with your boyfriend Kenny. You two had been together from fourth grade and you couldn't imagine your life without your orange parka clad boyfriend with his cute fluffy blonde hair that you loved running your hands through. He'd been out for quite a while now trying to score you guys some MDMA for your house warming party. Everyone that was anyone at South Park High was invited.

Y/N: Kenny, where are you?! Xx

Kenny🧡: Omw now, plug took his sweet ass time. Pour me a drink for coming home, and make sure it's got an extra measure in it! Also, got an ounce of weed, can't wait to smoke up next to you tonight 😉 xx

Y/N: You really do know how to make a girl feel special, huh? I'll see you soon, be safe and remember, if those blue lights appear, never fear, just drop a gear and disappear xx

Kenny🧡: I'm right around the corner babe, don't worry, cops have never caught me this far, I doubt they will now xx

You knew better than to reply to him, he was a quick walker and knew plenty of shortcuts. You both still lived in the shittier part of town, the rent was cheap enough for you both to afford, even if you did both work awful, barely meeting minimum wage jobs.

You heard the door clicking open and then shut, the noise of someone walking up the stairs, and there he was, hood up, a shit eating grin on his face. "Who's ready to get fucked up~?" He sang through the house, before entering the living room and spotting you standing in the adjoining kitchen, pouring him a large glass of vodka and coke, although it may as well have just been vodka. You had one poured for yourself and two shots of tequila lined up for both of you. "Tell me Ken, in all the years we've known each other, when am I not ready to get fucked up?" You answered him, handing him his drink as he sauntered into the kitchen, taking the glass from you and giving you a quick kiss on the head.

"He said this MDMA was top notch shit, straight from Europe! The ounce is Super Silver Haze, so we are set for at least a few days darling." Kenny said, his voice muffled due to his hood still covering most of his face. You smiled at him, even when only his blue eyes were visible, he was the most beautiful guy you'd ever laid eyes on, you swore you got lost in his eyes back in fourth grade and you still haven't escaped the maze yet, not that you were complaining.

"Take your coat off, babe, we can afford heating now!" You said, taking a sip from your own glass and shuddering, vodka did not taste good, but it got you fucked up and that's all that mattered. "If you want me to strip for you babe, you gotta return the favour." Kenny laughed out, unzipping his parka and taking his gloves off. Out of his pocket he pulled a baggy, a rock of pure MDMA sitting in it as he placed it on the kitchen counter. From his larger inside pocket he pulled out the aforementioned ounce of cannabis and sat it down beside the baggy. "Fancy a quick bump to start us off?" He asked, taking out his wallet and a bank card from it, starting to crush the rock inside of the baggy. "Is that even a question?" You winked towards him, coming closer to watch his skilful hands at work. You guys have done anything and everything together, you trip sat each other and knew how most drugs affected you, because let's face it, you guys have tried most. When the rock was finally a fine, yellowish looking powder you could feel the excitement building within you, and Kenny noticed. "Babe, I know you're excited but I'm taking the first hit, if I die from it you know I'll be back tomorrow morning anyway, you on the other hand, that doesn't happen to." He stated, and you knew it was true. He always took the first hit of anything you guys scored, he just wanted you to be safe. You smiled warmly at him. "I love you." You muttered softly, giving him a small kiss on the lips. "I love you too, sugar tits." He smirked before pulling out the key to your shared apartment and placing it into the baggy. He scooped up and balanced a small amount of the powder upon it and placed it to his nose, covering his other nostril and snorting the substance in one go. He then placed the key on the counter, sniffing a few times and then made a face like he was going to be to be sick. "Kenny, what's wrong?!" You asked, hurriedly holding his face as you stared at him. "I'm fine, just that drip, man! That is nasty!" He said, gagging slightly. And he wasn't wrong, you took a quick bump yourself and found that you were soon after gulping down your vodka and coke to try and rid the taste that was emanating at the back of your throat. You noticed Kenny was staring at your tits in the low cut top you wore, your skinny black jeans hugging your figure, and boy could he not tear his eyes away from you. "Like what you see?" You teased, a small smirk on his face. "Y/N, my eyes have been glued to you since fourth grade, of course I like what I see." He joked back, and you knew it was true. You were the only two impoverished kids in school, you basically grew up together. You remembered when Kenny used to steal pads and tampons from the local pharmacy for you when you got your period, and how you used to swipe whatever food you could get away with from the grocery store, you both raised each other. You realised you were fading in and out of reality, the drug starting to take effect. Kenny's pupils were large and round, and you soon found yourself cupping his face with both hands and gazing dreamily into his eyes, a small blush dusting his cheeks. "What's wrong, babe? Love buzz getting to you already?" Kenny flirted, wrapping his long, slender arms around your waist, picking you up and setting your ass on the cold countertop. "I don't know babe, I always feel this in love with you so it's hard to tell." You said, your pupils large too. You felt Kenny bring his lips to yours, biting your bottom lip cheekily, and as a small gasped escaped from you, he quickly slid his tongue into your mouth, a small moan coming from both of you as you both passionately made out. Time stood still till you heard a car pulling up, parking and all four doors slamming.

A knock could be heard at the door and you both already knew it was your friends. You could already hear Eric and Kyle bickering outside and Stan sighing. "Hey, Kenny! Get your dick in your pants and open the door!" Stan shouted through the letterbox as you both reluctantly parted your lips from one another. "You better believe I'm taking that ass straight away as soon as they're either gone, or we're in bed!" Kenny said, a small huff of annoyance at having to wait, and at having to try and conceal his already pre cum leaking cock in his tight jeans. He ran downstairs, opening the door and bowing playfully. "Welcome to my Playboy mansion." He joked, stepping aside to let the guys in.

Your apartment was nothing special, it was still decorated how the previous tenants had it, pale grey walls in the living room with black and silver wallpaper, the kitchen was red with white tiles going round it, and the bathroom was blue with a shower in the corner. Your bedroom was the only place you both could afford to decorate yet, and that was for yours and Kenny's eyes only!

"Sweet apartment guys!" Kyle said, waving to you as you added four more shot glasses to the worktop, filling them with tequila and bringing them out, along with the two you and Kenny had forgotten about. "Here's to best friends, amazing relationships, freedom and getting fucked up guys!" You exclaimed as everyone took a shot glass. "Cheers!" You all said in unison, throwing your heads back to take the shots. You all grimaced at the potent taste and the burning sensation in your throats.

Time felt like an enigma, more people arrived, Wendy, Bebe, Clyde, Craig, Tweak, Butters and more that you weren't even aware were coming. Kenny was in the kitchen chatting with Kyle and Stan about some video game while rolling a blunt. You wandered in, looking at your boyfriend with a smile. He winked at you and patted the countertop, signalling for you to sit beside him. You hopped up as Kyle and Stan took a seat at the table. You could hear Eric laughing at some poor, unfortunate girl in the living room, and you gave your boyfriend that knowing look, like a secret language between you both. He handed the half rolled blunt to you. "You're so good with your hands, think you could finish rolling that for me, baby while I rack us a line each?" He cooed, biting down on his lower lip just to tease you. "You read my mind." You said softly. Kenny hopped off the counter and to the opposite side of the kitchen, his back to you three. "What are you guys on this time?" Stan asked, he didn't particularly like weed, his dad had ruined that for him long ago, but it didn't mean he wasn't fascinated in trying other drugs. Kyle wasn't too sure how to feel, it goes completely against his religion to do any of this, but you're only young once, right? "Purest MDMA in South Park!" Kenny exclaimed. "Straight from Europe, you guys want some?" He asked, turned to face you three, bank card in hand, and two skinny, long lines already racked up for you both. "You know what, I'll do it if you do it, Kyle!" Stan declared, feeling butterflies in his stomach, his nerves always got the better of him. "Yeah, fuck it! It's been a shit week and it's Saturday! Let's make the end of this week amazing!" He said, both boys high giving each other, then turning to fist bump Kenny. He racked two more lines for Stan and Kyle and turned once again to face you all, making deep eye contact with you as you stick your tongue out to like the skin you were rolling the blunt in, sending him a flirty wink, which he gladly smirked back at. "Damn girl, you really gonna tease me like that?" He flirted back, a smile on his face.

Rolling up a bank note he placed it up his nose, snorting the line he prepared for himself. He sniffed again a few times after, rubbing his nose with the back of his hand. "Who's next?" He said, holding up the bank note. "I'll go!" Said Kyle, doing the same thing Kenny did and then coughing slightly afterwards. "It tastes like shit, man!" He shouted, downing whatever drink he had in front of him. "Yeah dude, that's the drip!" You said, laughing slightly before taking the bank note yourself and sniffing the powder in one swift motion. You passed the note to Stan who nervously did the same and reacted almost the same as Kyle. "Just stay away from Wendy for a few minutes dude, the drip makes you wanna throw up and you do that when you're completely sober around her!" Kenny said, laughing slightly before picking you up and spinning your round, his hands wrapped tightly around your waist, your thighs coming up to his sides. "You look so fucking hot right now." He said, kissing you gently before pulling away to stare at you once more. Your cheeks were flushed, a mixture of what Kenny had just said and done and the drugs and alcohol you had taken. He carried you into the living room, Stan and Kyle quickly following, Kenny placed you on the sofa and quickly connected to the speaker, handing you a lighter to spark up your blunt with, you inhaled the thick smoke and exhaled it with a long sigh, you hadn't felt this amazing since the last time you two did MDMA together, and that was one messy night.

The four of you sat and chatted, taking a few bumps here and there while you all smoked the blunt in rotation. It was as if the rest of the party didn't matter. Other people were taking their own drugs, people on ketamine, ecstacy, and god knows what else, it was South Park after all. And they knew you and Kenny didn't give a fuck.

Before you knew it you had finished the entire baggy between the four of you, the party heating up as the place was packed with people. Outside was dark and the street lamps shone brightly. "Hey guys, a new nightclub has opened down the street, it's supposed to be amazing! Wanna go?" Eric shouted loudly over the music. Everyone stared at him, mulling the words over in their fucked up minds. "Fuck yeah! Why not?!" Kenny shouted, turning off the music. "I could dance, let's go guys!"

The walk felt like a blur, you don't even remember how you got there, just how soft Kenny's hand felt in yours as you walked together down the street. The nightclub luckily let you all in without ID, and surprisingly didn't think any of you were on anything. When inside the place was huge, hundreds of people on the dance floor, flashing lights and loud techno music filled the air, this night was turning out to be one to remember. Stan was finally talking to Wendy with enough confidence in his fucked up, MDMA filled brain without throwing up on her, result! Kyle was chatting to some random girl in the corner of the dance floor when you and Kenny heard one of your favourite songs come on, you knew it was a sign from the gods above as the song blasted loudly through the speakers. He took your hand in his, his fluffy blonde hair reflecting the flashing lights in the club, you swore he looked like angel sent from above as he gripped your waist tightly almost scared to lose you as you both started dancing, first giggling and playing around and soon enough grinding against each other needing some sort of contact through the buzz you guys were feeling. Fuck, this felt unreal.

"Kenny." You moaned loudly enough for him to hear. "You like that baby?" He asked, pushing his hard cock against you a bit harder. "And what if I do this?" He whispered into your ear, a long stripe licking up the front of your throat, before his mouth attached to the side of your neck, licking, biting and sucking on the skin that was sensitive when sober, so this felt like you could touch the stars. The song had changed and you still both remained on the dance floor, practically eye fucking each other, hands roaming everywhere, anywhere, just to get some sort of friction.

"Fancy a bump of coke?" He whispered to you, a confused look on your face. "You really think I'd leave us with nothing?" He laughed, as you both, hand in hand made your way to the smoking area, standing at one of the tables. "I'll get us drinks, you crush that shit and I'll be back asap!" He said, pointing to the bar in the smoking area, you just nodded obediently.

You got to work, crushing it up in the baggy and smiling to yourself. You heard Eric shouting behind you with Kyle, Wendy, Stan and Butters. They approached your table, watching you carefully make two thick lines on the table as Kenny came back, two double vodkas in hand, no mixers. "Where'd you all come from?" He joked, handing you your drink and rolling up one of the notes he had received back as change. He snorted it quickly so you all wouldn't get caught and thrown out, you did as he did and giggled slightly after taking it, both of you downing your drinks. "How the fuck are you both not dead?!" Butters shouted loudly, Tweak and Clyde finding your group in the crowd, and all of you chatting among each other. Kenny handed you a cigarette and put one between his lips, lighting it and passing you the lighter, as you lit it you felt an arm snake around your shoulders, pulling you close to his body. You looked up at your boyfriend, giggling to yourself. He whispered something to Stan and Kyle as they all nodded, the music too loud for you to know what they were talking about. They began laughing as Eric too joined in the conversation. "I'm getting some more drinks!" You shouted loudly, as you walked over to the bar, everything spinning round you, boy you loved this feeling, and knowing Kenny felt the same was even better.

You turned around to see Kenny standing a few meters from you, staring at you as you came back to hand him a drink, a soft smile on his face as he stared at you. Fuck, he was the luckiest guy in this club, in South Park, fuck it, in the world to be able to call you his. You both understood each other like no one else did, not even your parents, you guys had been through everything together, and that's why he was going to make sure you were his girl for life. He had a ring back in your apartment and wasn't sure when to propose, but he was going to, just not while you were both fucked up. "I told the guys after this drink that we're gonna go home, my cock and I have some unfinished business to attend to." He said, winking and stealing a kiss from you. "Can we all dance before we go?" You pleaded, and Kenny just simply nodded. "Whatever you'd like, Princess." He said. He knew clubs like this would never end well with a pretty girl on your hip, some other douche always had to press their boundaries, and you were his girl, no one else's.

Your large group headed back to the dance floor, as a throwback banger came on. The first song you guys listened to together at the very first party you had all ever been to, it was like a movie, you all sang (shouted) along, badly. "DON'T YOU WORRY CHILD, SEE HEAVEN'S GOT A PLAN FOR YOU!" You all screaming in unison, dancing like lunatics when the beat dropped. You truly did have the best group of friends that anyone could ask for, and to top it off, the best partner in the entire universe, he little would and has died for you, just to make sure you were safe.

Your eyes became hyper fixated on your partners face as you sang to each other, tears of joy both steaming down your faces. Kenny couldn't believe how beautiful you looked as he turned to give the guys a knowing look, he let go of the grip he had on you and got on one knee, giggling to himself, not even having the ring on his possession. "WILL YOU MARRY ME, Y/N AND MAKE ME THE HAPPIEST GUY IN THE WORLD?!" He shouted and you swore your heart skipped a beat, the guy you got married to in the playground all those years ago now finally asking you for your hand in marriage, together, both of you, together, forever. "OF COURSE I WILL!" You shouted back, as he picked you up, spinning your round with him on the dance floor, all of your friends chanting and cheering loudly.

"Now if you'll all excuse us, I'm gonna go home and fuck my fiancée!" Kenny exclaimed loudly. Everyone erupted into laughter as you both made your way out of the club, not even making it home. Kenny had pinned you against a wall in a dark alleyway, two streets away from the club, one hand gripping your thigh up to his side, the other massaging your boob, his cock already buried deep within you, your moans filled the air, it wasn't long before you were both reaching orgasm together, Kenny chanted your name like a mantra, and you screamed his name loudly, your thighs pulling him as deep inside you as he could manage, his cum painting your insides, both equally as breathless as each other.

"How 'bout we go home, we smoke a fat blunt each, order some takeout and cuddle the rest of the night?" Kenny suggested, a small smile on his lips as he watched you pulling your jeans up, still breathless and legs weak. "That sounds fucking perfect." You replied, giving him a passionate kiss before taking his hand in yours. "You better be careful kissing me like that, baby, you know how high my sex drive is, I'll end up fucking you the rest of the night." He said, a smirk on his face, throwing you a quick wink. "Oh, I'm aware Mr McCormick." You flirted back. "Won't be long till you're Mrs McCormick." He replied, a large and genuine smile on his face, you could see his little tooth gap and your heart soared. You get to spend eternity with the only guy you've ever loved, and if that isn't perfection, I don't know what is.

sorry it was so long!! I really hope you enjoyed it!! I'm gonna try writing some more, so please let me know what you think and if you have any requests, hit me up!!

#kenny mccormick #kenny mccormick x reader #stan south park #kenny south park #kenny mccormick smut #kyle south park #cartman south park #butters stotch #eric cartman #kyle brovlofski #stan marsh

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bellacartters · 4 months

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Cartman calming down butters (and it working the instant he touches his shoulder <3)

EP: South Park (not suitable for children)

#south park #cartters #eric cartman #butters scotch #butters south park #cartman and butters #cartman south park #south park cartman #south park butters #cartman sp #cartman x butters

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broken-glass-puppet · 1 year

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Helloooooooooooo, how are you doing today? (Btw love your blog ^^ It's amazing!)

Saw that you write about South Park and just really wanted to request 👏👏👏

How about the main four with a taller male reader who looks intimidating (and attractive), but is actually nice? But tho he can fight and ain't afraid to throw hands. He is a sporty guy who is into boxing. He is affectionate and caring, and he has a grunge style. ^^ (romantic)

Hope It's not too much! 😭

OMG YES, also thanks for the compliments, i appreciate it a lot

Im to lazy to write about separate

Headcanons

Kenny: orange

Stan:blue

Kyle: green

Eric:red

The main four

(TW: violence, mentioned sex, blood, homophobia)

Let's say they didn't like you too much at first, I mean yeah you look fine and you turn Heads when you walk but you look like a bully

Well that changed when you were in class, at some point Stan was having problems understanding the work so you asked if you could help him out

"find the x? The fuck? Is right there" "hey dude, you need help ?" You said in a sweet tone of voice, leaning in to see his eyes "...y-yeah sure"

The mother fucker wouldn't stop thinking about you the rest of school

"what's your problem dude, are you gay or some shit?" "You are gay too, c'mon we all know how you check out his butt during PE" "THAT'S NOT FUCKING TRUE!"

Well the most normal two are Kyle and Stan, they do get nervous and all but hey you are nice

Cartman is well...

"i identify as a horse now guys" "wtf Cartman, that's not how it works" "yo guys what are you talking about?" "Cartman identify as a horse" "what?" "Stupid right" "then I just have something to say" you took a moment "yehaw!" Hehe joke

The three are like: 🧍‍♂️

And Cartman is like: 🚶

So yeah a lots of flirting, specially with Kenny

He's the most obvious, he doesn't even try to hide it

And damn you are muscular, no you don't look like a Jojo but you have abs, a little waist and strong arms

"why you as a man have such a little waist? For us men to grab? Are you gay?" "And you as a man why do you have a mouth? To suck dick? Whore" "ew guys, go to a motel or something "

And after some days you start to get a long with them very well

You help them out when they need and you hang out with them a lot but at some point they development a crush on you

Let's say, they fell first and you fell harder

And the moment you started dating them was funny

Some idiot was making fun of Kenny and he was like "okay idgaf"

But you where super angry

"hey, stop bullying my boyfriend or else" "ow what are you going to do huh? You are just a fag, I'm Soo scared" "oh you want to see?" "Of course" and the moment after the idiot in question fell onto the floor with a bloody nose and one his friends punch you in the face leaving you with wounds but you managed to beat him up "who's the next one" silent "i figured out, c'mon Kenny, let's go"

When you get to your home, Kenny called the others and they came super fast

"WHAT WHERE YOU THINKING" yelled Kyle while healing your wounds "i don't know they just...maked me fell angry...and they were insulting Kenny and..." "Y/n i don't give a shit about what were they saying" "i know but...i don't want nobody to hurt you, or you four for that matter" "you called me your boyfriend" "i did?" "Yeah, and I don't mind it, I'm okay but I'm going to be your boyfriend fr" "heh okay " "..." "We all can be boyfriends?" "I'm not gay" "you are" "just for y/n" "then we are boyfriends"

It's a strange relationship, nothing changed to much, you still have that relationship like bros but the physical touch increase a lot, holding hands with them or just little pecks on the check

Kenny is more flirty, grabbing your butt and saying that he didn't do anything or just shoving his head onto your chest and mumbling how he loves your man boobs

And we'll yeah, Cartman is less of a dick but he sure loves you in a strange way

And Stan and Kyle they love you so much

Kenny's parents hate you, they are super homophobic (i hate his parents omg) so when he introduced you to them, they yelled at him, you just looked at them with a death glear and walked away from them

Cuddles ALL.THE.TIME GOD

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doggie-guts · 1 year

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would-you-punt-them · 2 months

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Eric Cartman (South Park)

#would you punt them #into the sun #tumblr poll #south park #cartman south park #south park cartman #sp cartman #eric cartman

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that-kid-fromtheplayground · 1 year

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⛅ 𝕋𝕖𝕒𝕞 𝕊𝕥𝕒𝕟 𝕨𝕚𝕥𝕙 𝕒 𝕄𝕠𝕞 𝔽𝕣𝕚𝕖𝕟𝕕⛅ (these are platonic Hcs)

⛅First of all, they didn’t trust you, I mean- you were a 6th grader! and the 6th graders boys tended to bother them.

⛅But then you started offering to babysit them when they were unsupervised.

⛅Kenny loved you the first time he saw you, I mean, look at you! you were a fucking sweetheart! and there you were, babysitting them.

⛅The other boys were more reluctant to accept your pressence, although they were polite with you (not Cartman-)

⛅You always took good care of them, you watched them closely and made sure they eated and didn’t get hurt.

⛅The first time you saw Kenny die was when all of you were in recess time and a swing broke Kenny’s neck with an horrible crack.

⛅When that happened Somehow Someway you managed to cover Stan and Kyle’s eyes with your hands as a maternal instinct.

⛅You didn’t cover up Cartman’s eyes because you knew this scene wasn’t going to have a big impact on him, I mean, he is a manipulative kid who has killed adults.

⛅Kenny’s death lasted 3 days, and after those he was back in bussines.

⛅Sadly, you didn’t remember his death but you seemed to remember that something bad happened between him and the swings, and so, the next time he was near them you took him by the shoulders and pushed to your left side, the one who didn’t face the swings.

⛅That seemed to happen with all of the deaths you saw, because when he came back you seemed to turn protective of him when the group was near the thing that caused his last death.

⛅The one of the boys that worried you the most was Stan, he seemed like a good guy but he always had this depressing actitude.

⛅After some time and reasurance he finally opened up to you, he told you about everything that worried him and you comforted him and tried to give him your best advice and comforting hugs.

⛅You and him established that Sunday night would be the regular day to have a talk about his emotions and worries.

⛅He was so greateful for that.

⛅Your relationship with Kyle was a very good one.

⛅yeah, at first he didn’t talk to you much because he thought you were there to hurt them or mock them.

⛅But Oh! Surprise! You weren’t there to do that, you were there to form a friendship and to look after them just like a mom would do.

⛅He was quickly to gain a part of your heart because he was such a sweetheart towards you once he got enough trust with you.

⛅When all the team met at your house to do the homework you soon noticed how incredibly smart he was, so you turned your atention to help the others with their homework as soon as you finished your own.

⛅That lead to a very cute scene, ‘cause as soon as Kyle noticed how you atended the rest of the boys more than him he couldn’t help but form a little pout with his lips, and so he called your name and told you that he had a problem with something.

⛅You were quick to realice that he didn’t have a problem and just wanted your attention, you laughed at that cute behavior and gave him a hug and a kiss on the forehead telling him that he didn’t need your help, to wich he just sighed defeated.

⛅You gave him a bunch of your atention for the next hour after that scene and Cartman got quite annoyed by that because he wanted your attention aswell.

⛅With Cartman you got along quite well, your relationship with him wasn’t as intimate as with Stan’s or as lovely as Kyle’s but it was a funny one for sure.

⛅Remember that thing that he does with his mum name? Like dragging the las syllabe of her name? Yeah, he deffinetly does that with your name too 😅

⛅You learned to bring a bunch of snacks in your bag, they hapen to calm down Cartman if he’s being a bratty kid.

⛅You definetly will have to step in between Kyle and Cartman sometimes to stop them from killing one another.

⛅Believe it or not, Cartman respects you more than anyone in this world, I mean- have you seen yourself when you protected them of a group of 8th graders???

⛅It’s still a mistery (for you-) why those 8th graders tried to hurt your lil beans.

⛅And YES, he has definetly called you “moma/mommy” (not in a sexual way) sometime... and YES, Kyle is still mocking him for that, when he does, surprisingly Cartman does not get violent, he just blushes in shame and shouts “Well, SHE IS our mom! right?”

⛅And when he says that “right?” he just looks at you with the most confused and adorable expression ever made and you just can’t say no to him.

⛅And so, since then, they call you mom/momma/mum/mommy

⛅And, just ‘cause you find that adorable, you call them lil bean/son/my beloved/darling/hun.

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lost-walmartbag · 5 months

Text

First Impressions pt 5

Warning: Swearing

Background: You get to meet Eric's friends

Status: Ongoing

Previous part

Next part

'Friends'

You both stepped out of the car and pulled your coat onto yourself tighter. Eric walked closer and wrapped an arm around your shoulder, pulling you towards his side. You smiled up at him and scrunched up your nose making him smile.

"You look stupid." He said kissing the tip of your nose as you both walked inside the bar.

It felt like those movies where everything was going well until you hear a record scratch out of nowhere. It wasn't all that alive in the small bar to begin with but the chatter, laughing, and bad country music stopped the minute you walked in with Eric's arm around your shoulder. You look up and see all eyes on you.

Eric seemed to stiffen just like he did when he saw his mom. You look around and see quite a bit of people of all ages. There were older people, people around your age, and you felt you saw a baby around there somewhere.

You look over to the bar and see three guys your age who seem like they just got told their grandma got hit by a bus. A blonde guy with long hair was behind the bar in the middle of pouring a drink, a guy with red-curly hair who was in the process of choking on his drink, and a guy with black hair who was sipping on his drink watching everything unfold as he patted the red-heads back.

You looked up at Eric to see a crooked smile grace his lips. He slowly leads you both the the three men who couldn't take their eyes off of you two.

"Hey." He said sheepishly lifting the hand that was not squeezing your shoulder.

"Holy shit! Cartman is that you?" The black-haired man said.

"Yeah, I-I'm in town for a bit um..." He said blushing softly and looking over at you. "This is Y/N. My girl."

You blushed softly and looked over at the other guys. "Hi, it's nice to meet you guys."

The blonde man behind the bar speaks first. "Hey. I'm Kenny." He said with a wink.

"I'm Stan." The black-haired man said and nudged the redhead who seemed to be sulking.

"Kyle." He muttered.

"Sorry. He's usually more chatty he just...didn't expect to see Cartman had a girlfriend." Stan said with a smile.

"Is...that bad? Should I give you guys some space to catch up?" You said shrinking a bit.

"W-what? No honey it's ok." Eric said kissing the top of your head and rubbing your shoulder.

"Yeah. We wanna know all about what he's been up to and now that involves you." Kenny said with a smirk. "How bout a drink?"

"T-that would be great!" You said a bit too enthusiastically which made Kenny laugh softly.

You cringe a bit at your own awkwardness. Eric let go of your shoulders and sat next to Stan and pulled you onto his lap. You heard Kyle take in a sharp breath but chose to ignore it.

"So whatcha been up to?" Kenny asked as he started mixing drinks.

"Yeah, you like dropped off the face of the earth," Stan said sipping his own drink.

"Yeah, sorry bout that." He said with a sigh as his thumb absentmindedly rubbed circles on your hip.

"What were you doing?" Kyle spoke up. "Ya know...after you left."

Eric thought for a second about the question as if he was debating what to reveal. "Was in school. Out of state, just felt like getting out of here."

"Really? What'd you major in?" Kyle said a bit condescendingly.

"History," Eric said curtly as Kenny slid a drink over to you and handed Eric a beer.

"Dude that...fits actually," Stan said with a chuckle.

"So what are you doing now?" Kenny said and you just sat back watching them interact.

As Eric fills them in on his life it all felt familiar and yet so distant at the same time. They listened, but with every word Eric spoke, it was like the three other men didn't believe him. Like it didn't make any sense that Eric could do good for himself.

"What about you Y/N?" Kyle asked, snapping you out of your thoughts.

"Oh, I um...nothing interesting really." You said as you sipped your drink.

"Don't be stupid," Eric said gently patting your thigh and looking up at the other men. "She's smart as fuck. Like she does shit I don't even understand."

"Can't be that smart if she's dating you." Kenny joked making Eric laugh.

Actually, laugh. Throughout this trip, the most Eric would let out was a nervous chuckle but now he's actually laughing. His head tilted back, eyes shut, and his lips in a wide smile. You could feel his laugh reverberating against your back and it was the best feeling.

He was happy. Sure there may have been a part of him that was glad to see his mom but right now he's happy. This is the Eric you fell in love with. During midterms when you both were studying for that stupid English exam, you made a bad joke about Shakespeare or something you couldn't even remember.

All you remember was Eric laughing so hard everyone in the library looked back at you with pure hatred. His laugh was so contagious that you burst into your own laughter. You both had to leave the library and study somewhere else because of how much noise you were making.

You always see that Eric. At least once a day, the Eric who laughed at stupid jokes, the Eric who didn't care who was around to express his overwhelming happiness, the Eric who wanted you a part of that happiness always shone through.

You reached over and gently slapped Kenny's hand with a giggle. "Hey, he's not too bad."

"We'll take your word for it," Stan said holding his hands up with a smile.

You smiled brightly being a part of this intimate atmosphere that was so uniquely Eric's. You hopped off Eric's lap and kissed his cheek.

"I'mma head to the bathroom real quick." You said and Eric nodded giving your ass a gentle pat.

"Here," Kenny said tossing you a roll of toilet paper. "I can assure you there probably isn't any in there."

"Thank you, sir." You said flashing a bright smile and walking towards the bathroom.

Stan cupped his hands to amplify his voice as he called after you. "Don't sit on the seats! You'll catch something!"

You laughed as you entered the hallway and into the women's restroom. God, he was not kidding. The place was a dump. You probably got chlamydia by just breathing the air in there. You did your business as fast as you could and washed your hands. You walked out of the restroom and shivered.

"That bad?" You heard a deep voice ask.

You looked up seeing Kyle leaning against the opposite wall. "Guys weren't kidding that's for sure. When was the last time that place was cleaned?"

"Kenny is the best employee they have here but they couldn't even pay him enough." He said with a chuckle.

You hugged yourself and did an exaggerated shiver throughout your whole body making him chuckle again. After a few seconds, an awkward silence fell and you were itching to do something to break it.

"I-I should get back to Eric.." You muttered, pointing in the direction of the bar.

"Are you really dating him?"

"Yeah?" You said a bit defensively like you didn't understand his question.

"Why?" He said looking down at you with an unreadable expression.

You furrowed your brows and looked over at the bar seeing Eric listening to whatever Stan was saying. You turned back to Kyle and frowned.

"What's your deal? You've been really quiet and now...you don't even get why your friend is dating someone?" You said trying to put as much distance between you and Kyle as possible but it was a bit difficult when you were already pressed into the wall.

"No. I don't understand why anyone is dating Eric." He said crossing his arms.

"That's what I said."

"No, you said 'Why my friend is dating someone.' Eric and I aren't friends." He said with a frown. "You shouldn't be dating someone like him."

You press your lips into a thin line and stare at him. Eric is a bit odd at times but he isn't a terrible person. What is wrong with this guy? You felt a surge of anger fill your body. You needed to say something to defend Eric. How could you just sit here and hear him say this about Eric?

You dropped your arms to your side and stared up at him. "Someone like him? Eric is fucking amazing. I've been with asshole after asshole and Eric is fucking great. When I didn't show up one day in our English class he came down to my dorm and hand-squeezed orange juice because I told him once that my grandma used to do it."

You shut your eyes and continued to basically shout at him, not that it mattered because the music and conversation were much louder. "Eric has been nothing but fucking great to me. He's a great person. And he has enough to deal with, with his shitty mom and now some shitty guy who isn't his friend but always used to hang out with?"

"Great guy? Are we talking about the same person? Oh, he hand-squeezed you orange juice? That man made my life a living hell. He is a sadistic, disgusting, ir-" He started before being cut off by your hand making sharp contact with his left cheek.

You gasped and covered your mouth with your hands. You immediately reached out to touch his cheek. He held a hand up to stop you and backed up.

"I-I'm so sorry. I-I don't I don't normally do that. I don't know what came over me I'm sorry-"

"What's going on?" Eric asked as he entered the hallway seeing you close to Kyle trying your best to comfort him as he held his cheek.

"What happened?" Kyle hissed. "You fucking brainwashed her. She actually thinks you're some good guy."

Eric tensed and it doesn't escape your mind that it is around the tenth time he's done that tonight. You move away from Kyle and look up at Eric.

"I didn't mean to hit him I swear I don't know what came over me. He was just saying all these bad things about you and I-"

"They're true." He whispered, looking down at his feet.

You blink in confusion and try to reach for his hand but he pulls back. He shakes his head and looks up at you with glassy eyes. You turn back to Kyle who was glaring at Eric like he couldn't believe anything that was happening right now.

"I don't get it...I don't know what..." You started as you looked back at Eric. "Baby, what's going on?"

Eric's breath hitched and he opened his mouth to speak but quickly closed it. Kyle stepped forward and looked down at you.

"If he can't admit it. He didn't change." Kyle said before walking off.

You watched Kyle leave, his red curls bouncing with each step as he found his spot back in the seat next to Stan. You turn your head back to Eric who was just staring at you like he didn't know what to do next. And truthfully, you didn't either.

A/N: Hey hope ya'll enjoyed this! Sorry, I've been gone for so long you guys will be seeing more soon just stay patient with me. Thank you love you all ❤

Taglist: @jessiegerl @stephs-inluv @breadandbutter33 @renpoo14 @atanukileaf @minimss

#`1south park #south park x reader #fanfic #south park x you #x reader #kyle broflovski #stan marsh #kenny mccormick #eric cartman x reader #eric cartman #sp cartman #south park cartman #cartman south park

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