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#can i point out here. that i think its funny how we all collectively were like
welldrawnfish · 4 months
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So these last few days has been.. Turbulent. DIFFERENT
I think I may be a System? Infact I KNOW I am a system at this point, but Im also not ready to accept that. Well a part of me isnt, and the other parts of me are like… uh duh of course you are. 
*A system in this context refers to the collective consciousness under the DID / OSDD Umbrella, I dont know the correct terminology in all of this, so im so sorry If i I mess up. I don’t necessarily want to give myself a label, there's .. brain scans and stuff I can get to prove it. And I need those, thats the only way I know this is real. But for now, for my own mental health I am treating it as if it were.. “real “ And I dont really know… what to expect…? I want to find something, ANYTHING, on I guess.. Systems waking up? But I cant find it. So I’ll just do this here Im gonna dump out all our thoughts onto some comic pages and we will figure it out.  I had a bit of an awakening roughly.. 5 days ago, and for the sake of convenience gonna use Plural/System terminology - There are alters, I have met them, the have names and personalities and some of them are really fuckin annoying i just want to punch him in his TEETH
Anyways, since the alter awakening moment, my brain has been in TURMOIL parts of me accept this, parts of me dont, i keep feeling like my face is like shifted 2 inches to the right and everything gets fuzzy in the real world. Not that these alters have names like.. Files are getting sorted  into these proper figures and everything is getting explained and figured out. And its making me feel like I'm not me anymore?
Like I always would argue and barter and fight with my own thoughts, but that's the thing, they wer thoughts, voices in my head with just like, distinct personalities. I just saw it as a different part of me?? Figured that was normal.
But now they are.. stronger ? OR maybe because i'm more aware of them and the personalities I can tell whos out now and like.. Obviously they are happy to get some facetime with the world properly?? But like.. Am *I* just aware of it, aware of them now, aware that it is not just *I* but *We* and so noticing it more, I'm resisting even harder? We feel more fractured than ever.
I have a good friend helping me out, another system, I owe them everything, maybe my life. (PLEASE FOLLOW @transpanda-1 BTW THEY DESERVE IT) They had a few amazing tips, but I cant keep bugging them about every anxiety on my mind thats not fair, so I’ll ask the whole community.
I guess what I want to know is.. Like is this normal? Do all systems go through this? What should I expect in the future and how do I make this more streamlined and stop.. Fighting it? I guess?
I thought I finally had myself figured out, just be the girl who makes the funny relatable trans comics… it was simple.
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dindjarindiaries · 4 months
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Dincember 2023 - December 1: Snow
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character: Din Djarin (The Mandalorian)
prompt: Snow
main masterlist • dincember masterlist
⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙ ‧͙*̩̩͙❆ ͙͛ ˚₊⋆ ⋆꙳•̩̩͙❅*̩̩͙‧͙
The poncho was a valiant shield against the unprecedented chill of the planet. Flakes of snow fell all around, nearly making the horizon a blur in its beautiful haze. It was pretty to look at, but damn, was it cold.
You held one half-gloved hand out in a vain effort to catch some of the snowflakes, and it wasn't the first time you'd done it. This time, however, it earned your companion's attention. "You're acting like you've never seen snow before." Din's voice was full of amusement rather than judgement.
You smiled and closed your fist, looking to see if anything was left in it. There were only a few droplets of water. "I haven't."
Din's helmet snapped towards you. He huffed and shook his head. "That's funny."
You raised your brow and turned to look at him. "I'm being serious."
Din tilted his helmet. His visor gave you a disbelieving once-over. "How?"
You let out a laugh out that. "What do you mean, 'how?'" You gestured back with your head and nudged his arm with your own. "Not everyone has an antique gunship that can take them wherever they want."
Din chuckled, his visor watching his boots leave tracks in the snow. "Sorry. I just..." He lifted the palm of his gloved hand to gesture to you, but then he stopped, as if lost. "I figured a great mechanic would have gotten around the galaxy more."
You smiled again at that and drew yourself closer to his side. "Mechanics become great by fixing ships," you gestured to your belt, "not flying them."
Din gave his helmet another quick tilt. "Fair point." His visor looked to the way ahead again while you focused on the flurries of snow. Still, even as you continued to try to catch the snow, you could somehow sense his gaze on you. "Do you like it?"
You gave him a quick glance. "The snow?" When Din nodded, you shrugged. "I think. It's really cold."
"It is." Din's visor gave you a once-over again, but that time, it was more concerned than before. "Are you warm enough?"
You nodded, beaming. "This poncho's thicker than it looks."
Din raised a gloved hand, politely asking for yours. You set yours into his, though he just held it between his thumb and fingertips as he turned it over. "We need to get you a pair of full gloves."
"I probably could've brought my working gloves instead, but..." you shrugged again, "I guess I didn't really think about it until now."
Din shook his helmet and set his hand on your upper back. "That's all right. I'm sure they'll have some at the marketplace."
The warmth his words and his actions brought your chest was more sufficient than any type of clothing or accessory could ever be. You looked at him and saw a snowflake stuck to his visor, causing you to lift your fingers to gently wipe it away. "Thank you."
Din brushed his thumb over your back. "Thank you." He lowered his hand and stopped in his tracks for a moment. You paused alongside him, raising your brow in confusion. Din bent down and collected some of the fallen snow in his gloved hands, pushing it together until he held something out to you. "Here."
You took it, amazed at how compact it was. "A snowball?"
Din stepped back and lifted his arms. "Go ahead."
"And do what?"
"Throw it."
You let out a terse laugh of disbelief. "At you?"
Din sighed and set his hands on his hips. "You're missing your opportunity, cyar'ika."
Just as he finished getting the words out, you made the throw, causing the snow to hit Din's cuirass and explode in every direction. You laughed as he looked down the best he could with his helmet and assessed the damage. You stepped up to help him brush away the remnants of the snow.
"Was it fun?" Din's tone was both hopeful and amused.
You smiled at him and nodded. "But next time," you held his helmet between your hands, "you won't be ready for it."
Din huffed, amused, and gave your wrists a squeeze before he lowered your hands. "Well, we have to get you some warmer gloves to make those snowballs, first."
You let him keep you close to his side and tried to hide your smile. "Sure."
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junipers-archive · 11 months
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hi hi hi:))) i’ve never made a request before but i desperately need a one-shot of emily and derek being besties at work and messing around with spence. just teasing him and talking abt life idk something to warm my heart🫶
Heyy and its no problem at all but hope you don't mind I made this a blurb because I'm not taking one-shot requests right now!! <3
❥ You overhear the team teasing Spence about his crush on you over the phone
You'd opted to stay home today, having not been feeling very well and gotten it cleared with Hotch. Cases were slow this week and it was no harm.
However you'd also forgotten to inform Spencer, he had called you this morning wanting to know if you were alright, needed anything and all the other basic Spencer doting questions. When your conversation was over he'd hung up, or he assumed he hung up and put his phone back in his pocket.
The truth of the matter was he'd missed the hang up button.
You thought it'd be funny to listen in on his interactions with your co-workers, maybe even get some gossip that wasn't exactly meant for your ears.
He was leaning against the counter in the kitchen, drinking his coffee as he greeted Emily. "Morning." His voice was groggy and you could tell he hadn't gotten enough sleep last night.
"What?? Is this a boy genius without his Y/n??" she was sitting at the table, picking at the muffin in front of her.
"W-Whatdoyou mean?" He tried not to show his excitement that people assumed you were his.
"She means that now that L/n isn't here you might not be in the best shape." It was Derek, you could tell by the hint of charisma in his voice that he was grinning.
"I-I can function without y/n!" He was blushing now, as Emily and Derek side-eyed one another, responding to him by scrunching their eyebrows and nodding sarcastically.
You on the other hand were elated, you loved they assumed you were his, you'd had a crush on him since you joined the team.
Derek now walked over to him, putting a rough hand on his shoulder, "Pretty boy can you ask her out already? Cause the googley eyes we have to put up with on the daily is getting repetitive.”
Emily almost spits out her coffee as Spencer begins to malfunction, but she finds breath to add on her own, "Don't get me started on when I had to walk around with you two lovebirds on the last case! It was like I was the side character in your romcom."
You can her them both crack up over her joke, teasing Spencer all the more about his crush.
After they've collected themselves he asks, "D-Do you think she likes me back?"
They collectively groan at his question, Derek like the big brother he is to Spence speaks up first, "Of course she does man, that girl would follow you to ends of the earth. And that's a long way considering you probably know exactly-"
"Twenty four million, nine hundred and one thousand point four hundred and sixty one miles." He cuts in dutifully expressing once more how many absurd facts he knows.
Emily tries to reassure him as Derek shakes his head, "Just ask her, I know Y/n and she would say yes to a date with you!”
And yes oh yes you think, you would say yes twenty four million, nine hundred and one thousand times if it meant you'd get a date with Spencer.
Sadly he sits down before you get your assurance that he'd be doing so. Effectively hanging up on accident, leaving you wondering if he'd get the nerve before you die of this cold.
But you text him anyway asking him to come over, if he didn't ask soon you guessed you'd just have to do it yourself.
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cardassiangoodreads · 2 months
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When you see people on disability Twitter or whatever claiming that "Biden's COVID policy" was/is destructive, irresponsible, etc., particularly if they're acting like he's equivalent to or worse than Trump... ask them what the horrible policy is. Ask them what the specific policy is they take issue with and what they think he should have done instead.
I say this because IME, the vast majority of the time, these are "zero COVID" people who think that we should have locked down until COVID was completely eradicated and until every single person (including people with severe autoimmune disorders who were already not safe going outside because of other pathogens) was able to safely go to a crowded night club. Aka a thing that no government on the planet Earth did, that no candidate anywhere of any party is proposing, and that every medical organization has recommended strongly against. Because:
It shows a fundamental misunderstanding of how infectious disease works. Starting with the fact that we have eradicated a disease like this exactly once in human history. We're not even at Zero Bubonic Plague, let alone Zero COVID; does that mean we should act like the Black Death is still ongoing? These people love to act like the HIV-AIDS crisis is "over" (and appropriate slogans from it) because we have good effective drugs for keeping HIV-positive people healthy for decades and containing its spread, but there are still over a million new cases every year.
Lockdowns were psychologically damaging for most of the population, to the point that some people have suggested that the effects of the 2020 lockdown could be classified as a mental health pandemic, and likely had all sorts of consequences we're just beginning to see, like spreading online extremism from so many people being shut in with nothing to do but get lost in the wilds of the Internet. The idea that the vast majority of the population that is, when vaccinated and boosted, perfectly healthy going out in the world and resuming normal social activities, needs to still lock down forever because it's dangerous to a tiny minority... rather than our society be better at supporting that minority in being able to stay home.... makes no sense, especially given the high health cost of lockdowns. (As I've said before, it's funny how many of these people are the same people posting "mental health is as important as physical heatlh!" memes yet they think the fact that staying indoors for a year drove us all collectively a little insane should just be shrugged off.)
That's not even to go into the other costs of lockdowns: like how much lost education there was because of the inadequacy of Zoom school in most places, a thing every educator I know from elementary school through college has noticed, that the usual skills students would learn from the years they were in online school are significantly weakened or completely missing.
Should we do more to accommodate people who really cannot go out? Of course. Is it frustrating how every workplace showed that they are perfectly capable of doing what are pretty standard disability accommodations, and then tried to roll that back the second the majority of people were able to go back to in-person work and school and social lives? Yeah (though a lot of that is here to stay; way more jobs at least offer work-from-home, way more schools offer online learning, etc.) But the idea that everyone should still be locking down 4 years into the pandemic is just not supported by anything or anyone except for a very loud and very insular group of weirdos online - who also, IME, almost never have the particular disabilities or illnesses that actually result in you having a greater risk from COVID. They're nearly always other kinds of disabled people appropriating that. Though hopefully, you can see that "everyone needs to lockdown forever until zero covid" is a pretty clearly bonkers take coming from anyone.
I see a lot of people falling for this "but Biden's disastrous COVID policy" these people are putting out there who obviously don't agree with "zero COVID" and this is why you need to ask people what they mean when they say these things. Almost no one agrees with these cultish weirdos and that's for a reason! So don't take their word for it! Ask them what they mean! Even if you overall dislike Joe Biden, hopefully you can see why letting them demonize a politician over what is an extreme position that is not feasible and is not being proposed by anyone anywhere on the political spectrum in any country, is so very damaging. This is like raging against "Biden's animal rights policies" and it turns out the person is mad that Biden doesn't think they should be able to keep a great white shark as a pet.
Ask people what they mean. A lot of people are deliberately leaving out info because they know it's extreme and that you wouldn't agree with it if they elaborated. So don't do it until they elaborate!
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toffeelights · 1 month
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falling into sonic again..
no i grew up watching those epic sprite animations and sonic final fantasies, sonic paradox even. The games I played were heroes and a few more like unleashed and mega collection and i adored black knights transformation sequence i would play it in the car repeatedly ( i never owned a wii). I watched all the sonic gameplay I could. My favourite characters being sonic and shadow. I, however grew up and believed sonic was not "famous" and was niche, jealous of the only sonic merch being the boys underwear in the superstore :(,
i didnt like boom or even lost world. it wasn't "sonic" to me, so i fell out, come forces and im burned, never touching this franchise again in my mid teens. I looked at how it was doing, would watch dubs and enjoy animations but eh that was it for me.
then.. comes 2023 and the thing that drags me back into this franchise, the thing that fucking pulls me in and keeps me buried... is those same two fucking hedgehogs but this time... their fucking ship. I suppose i can blame the art that took me here in the first place but holy shit. if you told me when i was 5 years old that i would come to adore sonadow and that would be the sole reason for my staying to the sonic franchise and all i would draw would be fucking sonadow, i would think you were fucking stupid and then go on word and make sonic comics of him running and pissing on eggman. no its the fucking fact, that now its come to a point where the dynamic of sonic and shadow genuinely have shifted my entire brain chemistry, they are everything, romantic subtext or not, they have literally shaped my interest for the past half year.
the fucking SYMBOLISM sega hints around them??!! them being stars, fated, destined to meet, mirror images, understanding eachother the most yet causing the most frustration. Sonic, is the one character that can get so, so personal to shadow, challenge him in a way and intrigue him in the most bizzarest of ways he never understands yet finds equal annoyance as much as admiration, sonic is a shift to his core. Shadow also does care quite a bit, just as much as he gets irritated at his presence, i find it funny how in sonic 06, the two characters saving sonic are amy and Fucking SHADOW the hedgehog. (albeit you dont see this alot erm due to segas insistence of making characters.. boring? but anyways)
their TRUST.. in eachother, the sonic x shadow generations descriptions do it so well (esp in jp).
in sa2 when they.. worked together for the first time in space and.. he called him the ultimate life form.. and sonic and shadow.. just in that moment.. were together as one. and oh man..
I could talk about prime but uh my favourite interactions in there are mostly when one of the other was uncouncious or in a state of unawareness (youd be suprised how much this happened). like sonic holding shadow and saving him, he seems to get really, REALLY emotional when it comes to shadow than anybody else.. for some reason... and shadow' reaction when sonic almost died. OWee that was done so well. the way.. he held him.. tight.. when sonic was dying.. oh my gosh. bride style. oahy.. im not too fond on talking about prime since in terms of the "sonic and shadow" dynamic it sort of slaps you in the face but hey I appreciate some sonadow anytime, if that was their actual only canon dyamic i dont think I'd care for it as much but its more of an add on to one of the most insane PASSIONATE.. crazy mutually charged dynamics ive seen in my life... like why are they like that.. can they STOP.. those two.. my brain will explode if we actually like actually like ACTUALLY see them togteher and if its anything like "them" with their subtetly and bizzare unique tensions, i think i will lose my sanity and just not function anymore. good fucking bye if i see a mention towards emerl or the ending of sa2 i will lose my absolute shit and you random person seeing this will see me go through it. my sketchbook would probably be overwhelmed by the amount of incoherent sonadow mess dear lord why..
ignore this i have an exam tomorrow and ended up going on a crazy rant about tbese two hedgehogs that have carried me through senior year, shout out to sonadow.. gotta be the only thing dragging me towards a degree.
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cyber-corp · 2 months
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By the time I'm posting this, it will be January 26th, commonly known as Australia Day where I'm from. A country known for its sweeping plains, unique fauna and the PM fucking off during a nationwide crisis.
I think, despite all Australia's long-standing issues, there are some things about it worth celebrating the culture. Specifically, the music!
Here are some of (what I think) to be some of the most quintessential Australian albums to listen to:
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Midnight Oil - Diesel and Dust (1987): Quite possibly the most Aussie album from quite possibly the most Aussie band. The biggest song off of this album, Beds are Burning, is about Aboriginal Australians being forcibly removed from their land, and the lead singer Peter Garrett is really outspoken about justice towards Australia's native peoples, even being in Parliament at one point. Listen if you want to hear what Rage Against the Machine would be like if they were a new wave band and regularly consumed Oak chocolate milk.
INXS - Kick (1987): If the UK had new wave, Australia had pub rock. Artists defined by their songs being so infectious you can remember while you're smashed on seven bottles of Tooheys Extra Dry (kidding. it's called pub rock because that's where they'd play their sets. in pubs). INXS is quite possibly the pub rock band, the genuine article, and this album is a nice gateway into their music; Punchy, upbeat, and memorable riffs for days. (Songs like Need You Tonight and New Sensation for a good idea). Listen if you like Duran Duran or The Cars.
Kylie Minogue - Fever (2001): GOD, how do I introduce Kylie. This country's shining grace. The superstar in our backyard. Our very own Princess of Pop. This album just extrudes that gleam and optimism that'd you find in a lot of Y2K dance-pop music, and I absolutely love it. Listen if you like Discovery-era Daft Punk or Grace Jones.
The Avalanches - Since I Left You (2000): My personal favourite off this list. It might not be the most "Aussie", but I think it makes up for it in its ethereal tone and sampling techniques. One song might just be made up of just one sample, while another might be made up of 50, (Frontier Psychiatrist was originally made up of 28 samples), but it's all tied together by this collective lofi sound. Listen if you like DJ Shadow, Portishead, or The Chemical Brothers.
Regurgitator - Unit (1997): There was this period in the 90's where Australian alt-rock went fucking berzerk, and Regurgitator was one of those bands. Everyday Formula opens with "Everyday I shit into the sea" and ! (Song Formerly Known As) is about not going out to parties and staying at home. Listen if you'd like Gary Numan mixed with the subject matter of early Weezer.
Spiderbait - Grand Slam (1999): Spiderbait was another one of the alt-rock outlets that got really popular despite being really vocal about the hypocrisy of the industry at large. This album contains a wide variety of influences, like 60's bubblegum on Glockenpop (song about the needless commodification of music. their most popular song and highest-earning single of that year. lol), pop punk on Dinner Time and hard rock on Shazam! A pretty good all-rounder made brilliant by vocalist Kram. Listen if you like Green Day or No Doubt.
Empire of the Sun - Walking on a Dream (2008): I put this one on because the cover is really funny, but then I listened to the album and I got a sense of bittersweet nostalgia listening to it. A mix of disco, dance-rock and funk (We Are The People is a good example) make for something that made me wish I was 7 again. Listen if you like Prince or Let's Dance-era Bowie.
TISM - Machiavelli and the Four Seasons (1995): TISM (short for This Is Serious Mum) are a fucking disgrace to this country. They are such a bunch of yobbo cunts that I can't believe they managed to get anywhere past 90 on the charts. Wankers like them deserve to be dragged out on stage and beat to a pulp viciously, to the ravenous delight of the crowd. Don't listen to this album and don't listen to Greg! The Stop Sign!! Listen if you're a masochist, maybe.
AC/DC - Let There Be Rock (1977): Ah yes, good ol Acca. The ultimate dad band. You could put any of their albums on this list because they all sound the exact same, but I put this one on because I prefer Bon Scott's vocals. The title track feels like it goes forever, but in a way where you wish it didn't end. Some nice fashioned high voltage rock'n'roll. Listen if you like Black Sabbath.
There are way more that I could have put on here (Gurrumul, Frenzal Rhomb, Powderfinger, Silverchair, The Presets, The Chats, Men At Work, Tame Impala etc.) but I think you could probably discover them in your own time. In the meantime, here is the very culmination of Australian music. Nearly 50 years has led up to this being made.
Fuckin skitz cunt.
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drdemonprince · 27 days
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resource anon again here, i just read the ask where you talked about how you fantasise about a time you were abused in which you had an involuntary orgasm. i just wanted to say that it's... helpful to see someone talk about that aspect of sexual abuse in a chill way. the fact that i orgasmed, or experienced some degree of sexual pleasure during some of my assaults fucked me up for YEEEAAARRSSS. i used to be able to come so fast but now if someone else is pleasuring me i literally cannot orgasm sooner than like 1 hour and it takes unfathomable focus. and 99% of the time it's unsatisfying because it's not intuitive, shame-free, non-judgemental. i'm like fighting tooth and claw against painful intrusive memories and obsessive thoughts and it just leaves me exhausted in a bad way. i didn't even share with ANYONE that i experienced sexual pleasure during assault/s until my current psych and it was like a year after i started seeing her, i opened up about it once and that was it. it was so completely tied in with shame and disgust. anyway thanks again, this was my Confession. i hope i can fuck wild n free one day without the burden of these messy confusing thoughts and feelings
Hey anon, thanks for your message, and I am so sorry that you have been made to feel so much shame about an involuntary reaction that is not your fault, and happens to a whole lot more sexual assault survivors than gets widely talked about. It is just a thing that happens, and in fact may be a physically protective measure, because if a person's body is aroused during the experience of being assaulted, it is less likely they will experience physical damage to that area.
Our sexual responses are unusual and unexpected sometimes, and we don't always get to choose what we enjoy or how our bodies react. Your sexual assault isn't any less of a violation because you orgasmed from it. And it's not weird or gross that you did.
My experience with sexual responsiveness following the assault was something of the mirror image of yours, which I'll share because I think it's useful again in normalizing such things. The orgasm that I had while being assaulted was so sudden and intense that it cast a long shadow over all my sexual experiences afterward for while. I didn't get triggered during vanilla, consensual sex in the way people normally expect that to mean -- instead, I craved the intensity and overwhelm of the assault experience. It's not that uncommon for survivors to go numb and check out during sex, of course. But I would actively bring myself to orgasm during these moments by thinking about getting assaulted, and recalling things that were said and done to me moment-by-moment during the assault that brought me to orgasm. I would also masturbate replaying the assault for a very long time, and every now and then it's still something I'll reach for.
I don't feel any shame about this. The brain does unusual things, and draws all kinds of funny and upsetting connections at times. Perhaps this doesn't jar me so much because I have always had intrusive thoughts of violence and death but also of tenderness and childish happiness and random absurdity. I don't feel fully in control of my mind, and never have, so I can go along for the ride with what it has to offer me sometimes.
The person who assaulted me isn't able to hurt me anymore, and I feel relief and a sense of victory from the fact that I have extracted from this awful experience a ton of pleasure. At this point, almost 13 years later, I can say that jerking off to the idea of the assault has brought me so much pleasure collectively over the years that it overwhelms any pain the initial experience had. And I think that's pretty cool.
I hope that you can work through your understandable feelings of disgust and shame about your body's reaction to your assault on your own terms and in whatever way works for you. Some people cope with assault and its aftermath by age regressing, others by being celibate, others by finding a completely new sexual identity or role from what they previously enjoyed, some by becoming super vanilla, others by becoming kinky, some people just wait it out with time, and some people find a way to live with the trauma and darkness running alongside them in parallel to their life for as long as it will. There are no rules. Whatever works and feels natural to you.
I'm sure many a psychiatrist would consider me super duper fucked up for jerking off about my rape for over a decade afterward, but i'm having great orgasms and indulging my penchant for being controlled and used far more healthfully now in my relationships because I've embraced what feels like a true rush of aliveness for me, so like, fuck them and their profession as usual lol.
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I just have to wax poetic about the beauty of gentlebeard, particularly why I, as an autistic person, love them so much and project onto them so badly
This might get a little long, so a read more will do
But first off, some fun brief history lesson on autistic relationships in media :). Which sucks most of the time :)))
Ok I'm really not gonna get too much into it cause most of its the same; white autistic man/white allistic woman (The Good Doctor, Adam, etc). There have been steps in more diversity when it comes to this (Jane Wants a Boyfriend and Extraordinary Attorney Woo, a flip on this trope, and Heartbreak High has an actually autistic actress as a main lesbian character) but some of these media aren't being continued anymore (Everything's Gonna Be Okay you will always be missed)
As of right now, the themes of these stories are usually about the disability, teaching allistics and just overall centers around autism itself, which considering how many of these projects aren't led by autistic people, it's shitty repetitive portrayals (The Good Doctor, Atypical, Extraordinary Attorney Woo, As They See Us, blah blah blah blah blah)
But then you got these two pirates.
And let me explain how they pressed all the right buttons for me:
1. Both neurodivergent coded
Stede Bonnet my autistic icon. Just, the way he goes about social interactions and his knowledge about things is so reminiscent of trying to understand social rules and masking and special interests. There's even the little things like his love of books and needing things spelled out to him and when he commented on the textures of the privateer clothing.
And there's definitely a reason loads of people love to read Ed as adhd: his brain thinking of plans ahead in the future, feeling stuck in life, collection of items in a "messy" room, and that fancy French party man. His reading is less overt and more nuanced to me, but I still feel connected to him like I do with Stede, like how I would feel when watching a show about autistic people.
2. Their neurodivergent relationship
I've said before that most relationships we see are with an autistic/allistic. It falls under the "teaching" category and makes me feel like its trying to make a point, like yes, autistic people can have relationships like anyone else and they are lovable enough to neurotypicals!!!1!!1!
So imagine my absolute glee at how when Stede and Ed have their first proper conversation, it goes like
Ed seemingly seeking a sensory touch from the softness of a fabric
Stede instead of judging him on doing something "weird" asks if he enjoys it
And because they find they both enjoy this certain thing
Stede shows him his safe space to Ed full of this same kind of thing Ed liked
Ed then expresses his personal feelings to Stede
And gets no judgment, in fact a show of agreement and sympathy
And then they do something that's like an inside joke that's really only funny to them
And then Ed encourages Stede to be confident by supporting him
This is thee meet-cute, nothing can ever top this cute and honest beginning of a medium-burn relationship, change my mind
Most of what autistics want more than anything, romantic or otherwise, is to feel listened to and accepted. And we get this almost immediately, with BOTH Stede and Ed feeling appreciated!!!!
3. No neurodivergent preaching
When autistic love is shown in media, it's usually never the focal point. The main thing is about the person having the disability - even shows I love and praise for its relationship representation like Extraordinary Attorney Woo and Everything's Gonna Be Okay do the same thing
Ofmd acknowledges issues existing like colonialism, racism and homophobia, yet this show is not about that. The characters are allowed to exist and be themselves and happy without having this fact shoved down their throat every waking second and the villains who keep up the systemic issues get their comeuppance, usually by that person they were hurting.
And I here what you're saying: that neurodivergency is not canon and so doesn't have the direct acknowledgement like the other issues I mentioned... well.
We don't see sexism in ofmd, yet we all understand how Mary wouldn't be able to make the same choices Stede could on leaving their family. We know that the French party were entertained by Ed, not just cause of his stories as Jeff The Accountant.
Stede was bullied in his childhood by his father and classmates for not fitting in, for standing out - yes this obviously reads as homophobia, but many neurodivergents can relate to feeling exactly like this, some i bet almost being in the same situation as Stede is when it comes to things like crying easily and liking to pick flowers
So a moment like Stede playing Stark Revelations, where he gets to make fun of people that were like those in his old life AND being able to defend his one and only friend? That felt pretty damn good to watch myself.
Even without the romance, you still have a show where the two main characters are encouraged to be themselves in every way. This is a far cry from other media where even though they aren't explicitly stated to be neurodivergent, they are generally unlikeable and/or characters around them scold and pressure them to change into something "better" (Sherlock, Big Bang Theory, etc etc). Doesn't change the fact they are read as neurodivergent and thus seen as harmful representation for people who are "similar" to them irl
Meanwhile, Ed and Stede love each other because of who the other is, no narrative about them having to fall in love with the other despite their differences... but because they found something in each other they always wanted to find, and to feel loved in return
And the narrative doesn't preach to you or tries to fix them. Instead it says "this is our main character who happens to be white and middle aged, and this is his love interest who happens to be middle-aged and a Māori man, and this is their love story". And it is so goddamn neurodivergent
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system-of-a-feather · 3 months
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(more programming / TBMC / RAMCOA talk; nothing too heavy, same as last post, we just put it under the cut for ourselves cause these topics don't benefit most parts to engage with and thus we kept it off our own notifications)
But honestly, lately with how far into recovery we are and how much on and off fusing with XIV has stabilized me a lot more and made me a lot more clear with who I am and all that shit, I've largely been thinking a lot on the shit I've been through and all the parts I've been, cause at this point, I'm really trying to reconnect with my scattered subsystem parts.
Less so "scattered" and more so long lost because - for those that don't know / havent followed - like nine months or so ago an old version of myself that went by Data just kind of imploded under a lot of stress, pressure, trauma, and self destructive loops that were set off by the way we were healing and what not.
It was honestly really fucked up and a really unfair cause we were genuinely trying really hard to be "a good part" but programming and shit kept had us between "literally dying and at complete overload" or "doing shit that hurts ourselves and the system" and so we'd always just end up doing shit that caused problem and honestly, we had done everything we could to remove ourselves in that form from the picture in a healthy and failed multiple times - and so it was honestly kinda super fucked that when trying to stop existing, we instead shattered into like 4 or 5 parts
But in the end of it, I was a part that existed as a complete - for lack of better words - "burn out" and very extreme "turned off" response to the programs that were being regularly triggered prior to self implosion and it was a huge mess at first, but it ended up with me becoming the host of that subsystem and really? As much hell as it was, the implosion and generation of another subsystem really I think disconnected a lot of the experiences we had as Data and managed to shut down a number of parts to actually let me develop beyond just a "burnt out" state.
And in hindsight? It really worked because while I'm still Data, still part of that heavily and completely fucked programmed original part, I was "generated" in a state of literally being unable to deal with anything and as a part to cope with that and with space, really became a more developed part who is centered around the ability to cope and deal with what we were programmed to do and to.... NOT do that.
And now that I'm a lot more stable and full of a part, I honestly can go back and collect and look back at our experiences of how things have happened and how each part felt and worked and put things back together. At this point I hold almost everything Data originally did. I can look back and replay things and understand things and understand where everything came from, but I'm *not* Data - I'm Chunn (everyone in the brain says I should start spelling it Cheng or at least claim that as my secret Chinese name because its pronounced the same but I like the Chunn spelling so they can fuck off /hj)
And in that sense, the thing Data wanted so bad - to not be here and to not be in the way and to have anything but chronic stress and trauma responses and to just not cause problems for everyone in a desperate attempt to feel safe again - while it's not at all in the way he wanted or imagined it to be, he - we - got it. I don't resemble him much at all anymore, and that's sad in it's own way, but at the same time, is that not the very wish itself? To be ourselves but in a form we created and not in the form someone else created us for?
Anyways, these days it's kind of funny cause I basically serve a roll for the system that is the OPPOSITE of what we were programmed to do and while other parts are not as "impacted" as I was, I do end up sitting here and looking at the "less impacted" parts and go "Okay well that came from this shit I did and you don't notice it but that behavior of yours is intended to synergize (negatively) with what I was programmed to do so I'm going to tell you that I don't want to participate in that"
Cause as much as we were the overtly programmed part, I'm really realizing that it neither started nor ended with me and it really is oddly nice to be able to look at that and help in detangling this garbage.
And not to go into the details for safety reasons, but recently our therapist asked a question to Riku / Fei as to why we were doing XYZ and not another thing that would be more in character for them - and at the time they came up with some round about reason and explanation to which I had to ask, when they were thinking about it the next day, ".... is it not just because [feeling and condition that I know was an active major trigger]? Because you know you can state that and that is a perfectly valid and healthy thing to say. You are allowed to think that." and the genuine level of which they seemed to very hesitantly state it to themselves as if they were afraid to Set Something Off - it just really clicked something with me.
Cause that would have been me. That would have been me that would have been set off. That would have been me that would have changed that thought into a borderline / active crisis and/or mess that would be far more stress than just compliance to the programming. And in this moment, not only was I NOT being Set Off by it, but I was encouraging them to try it again despite many many many years of reinforced "if you do that you will regret it"
And it's really kind of nice to see. I can't think as original Data would, I barely can comprehend just how stuck that version of me was - they were so deeply intertwined in the programming its unfathomable even though it was me and I have the memories of it. Thus, I can't say "Data would be happy and proud to see where we've come", but I would like to think - even in the hell they were in - that theyd be comforted to know where we ended up.
But I digress. I felt like sharing this most of today cause man have we come far.
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dreamcorechild · 8 months
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[Friends opening would play.]
So no one told you life was going to be this way.
Your job's a joke, you're broke, you're love life's DOA. [Starring Muzan Jackson]
It's like you're always stuck in second gear, [Kokushibo and Akaza]
When it hasn't been your day, your week, your month, or even your year. [Doma the Dumbass]
But, I'll be there for you, when the rain starts to pour. [Kaigaku.]
I'll be there for you, like I've been there before. [Gyokko]
I'll be there for you, cause you're there for me too. [And Gyutaro, Daki, and Nakime.]
[The song finishes once all of them fall into the fountain. Muzan scurried his way out, completely soak and wet.]
Muzan: "That was a stupid idea..."
Akaza: "Oh come on. At least we all manage to take part in it."
Doma: "Exactly! You were enjoying yourself out there."
Muzan: "Did not!- Whatever. It is a good thing that all of you are here... Well.. Minus the Hantengu brothers but.. Who needs them."
Kokushibo: "Thats not nice."
Muzan: ".... You were never nice to me Kokushibo."
Kaigaku: "Hey! You leave master out of this!"
Akaza: "Lets just get to the point. Muzan."
Muzan: "Ah yes.. I think now is the time for us to confront this Y/N person, and ask her why she thought it was funny to use a small boy as her spy..."
Akaza: "Oh.... Were doing that.. Well."
Muzan: "Dont tell me your declining this offer!"
Akaza: "I cant okay!! I have to take Koyuki to the doctors.. Her fever is getting worse.."
Gyutaro: "Well, if your taking your fiancé to the doctors.. Whats gonna happen to the child.. It isn't safe for the boy to be all home alone."
Doma: "I love that movie-"
Muzan: "Shut up Doma."
Doma: "ITS THE TRUTH. YOU SHOULD WATCH IT, ITS A GOOD MOVIE OKAY!!!!"
Nakime: "But no, Gyutaro is right.. Sonny wouldn't be able to fend for himself incase any other demons would discover him in your dojo, Akaza."
Akaza: "Drats.. Your right... God dammit, what do I do?!?!"
Kaigaku: "Maybe he can tag along with us-"
Kokushibo: "No. Its to dangerous for the child.. We must lend him to someone for them to look after him while were gone... Muzan, you did say that upper moon 4 wont be joining with us today.. Didn't you?"
Muzan: "That is correct..... Wait... Kokushibo your a fucking genius!"
Kokushibo: "Wow, first time that you appreciate me."
Muzan: "I always appreciate you."
Kokushibo: "Since when?"
Muzan: "Since now... Forget it.. Give me the child, you fuckers wait here.. And Akaza, you can piss off to the doctors."
Akaza: "Thanks, I guess?"
Doma: "Just dont do anything bad Muzan."
Muzan: "I wont. I was never that heartless."
Daki: "Not even the Kamado family?"
Muzan: "..... We dont talk about them."
[The man set off, Akaza followed him so he can collect his wife who was bed bound and frail to the core. Sonny replaced each towel with fresh water. Dapping it on her forehead to balance out the temperature. The sliding door opens to his surprise. Causing the young lad to scurry away into the corner.]
Akaza: "Glad to see you nursing my fiancé little one. I Admired that gratefully."
Muzan: "Yeah yeah. Move it along basketball head. Sonny, come with me this instant"
Sonny: "???"
Akaza: "Thats not how you say it Muzan.. This is how.. Sonny. Muzan is gonna take you to the Hantengu brothers. They will look after you for the day until we return. I promise you that they wont conflict any harm or Assault you.."
Sonny: *Nod*
Akaza: "See Muzan. Thats how you convince a child without forcing them. I would praise you for that but due to what bullshit you have afflicted on us.. I wouldn't say that anyone would applaud you for it."
Muzan: "Oh shut up. Just take your stupid germ spreading wife away from me!!!"
Akaza: *Sarcasm* "As you wish.. My lord and savior, Michael-"
PUNCH!!!!!!!
[Sonny wasn't to fond with the demon lord. Not only is because of his temper and compulsive behavior.. But he sure didn't forget the threatening words he said to him with such snarly tone. Muzan refused to look at Sonny when the child was face up and eye contact to him. He scoffed.. Why was he in charge of taking this cretin to the infinity castle... Why cant the other bozo's do it themselves.. After all.. Its was his solution and honor to do it.. So it could be a 50% that it was his fault... Nonetheless, Muzan dragged the vulnerable corpse to one of the sections of the castle. He let go of his arm, banging on the door impatiently.]
Muzan: "SEKIDO! AIZETSU! KARAKU! UROGI! ZOHAKUTEN! OPEN THIS FUCKING DOOR NOW OR I WILL EXECUTE YOUR ASS WITH MY 2X4!!!!"
Zohakuten: "Uahhh!! lord Muzan, I'm coming. I'm coming, jeez fricking Christ!!"
[Out of all emotions. Zohakuten was the only one who worships and serves as Muzan main upper moon 4. He bowed down to the lord which he responded with a grin. Zohakuten smiled. Finally praised and refined from his harshly lashing out personality. Muzan shoved the boy to the Demon. Demanding him and his brothers to keep an eye on him, His crimson eyes glowed when he said that. Stunning Zohakuten.]
Muzan: "Don't let anyone know about his existence.. Its a secret for us demons to keep.. Not share with any other stranger in this Barbarous world.."
Zohakuten: "Don't worry my lord.. We will do as granted of your commands!!!"
Muzan: "Thank you Zoha... Take care kiddo."
Sonny: "...."
Sonny couldn't get to say goodbye. By the time the lord was finally gone.. Zohakuten took one look at the child, Now alone. He lead him inside where one large zone was only for upper moon 4. The settings was off a modern style apartment.. Sonny wasn't like any other children who run around and knock over things.. He was different.. Mainly if doing so his body would hurt badly by the bandages rubbing on his wounds.]
Zohakuten: "Brothers. Come over here, we got a guest thats gonna be staying here with us!"
[No one heard that.]
Zohakuten: "Brothers! Get over here right now!!"
[No one heard that as well.]
Zohakuten: "Do they even have ears... GUYS!!! A FUCKING HASHIRA IS HERE!!!"
Sekido: "A hashira, where?!?!"
Urogi: "OH boy!!!! I ca-... You lied!! There is no Sword slaying murderers!"
Aizetsu: "Was this a false alarm or-"
Karaku: "Awwhh man. I was really dying to play with one of them.. A demon to be precise!"
Zohakuten: "No! I only called you guys here because!-"
Sekido: "Because of what?- Oh you got to be kidding me..."
[The hantengu brothers and Sonny stared at each other.. Not one of them made a sound. Not one of them moved.. Sonny was shaken up a bit by this sudden ordeal.]
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laneaconite · 1 month
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To my Lovely Onlookers: an Introduction!
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For higher resolution images, look here
Hello, my name is Lane! I've been known to call myself a jack of all trades, but my heart's been set on authorship since the tender age of two.
Now, while my lifespan development textbooks like to call that premature identity foreclosure, I call it a dream. I'm creating this blog to archive my past and future works. What can initially be expected is a lot of poetry as well as some short prose pieces. The goal has always been to eventually work up to brick-length novels, but lately all I've got is poems pouring out of my ears. I'm composing them in my sleep. A lot of what I've written so far is about chronic pain, sapphism, transitional experiences, childhood, and trauma. Not every poem or prose piece is meant to be taken as a literal reflection of something that happened to me, but a lot of what I've written over the last few years have been in order to process my experiences. I find that I communicate best in rhetorical devices than in ordinary speech. This is extra funny (an inside joke to myself) because I spent the first fourteen years of my life as a self-declared poetry hater, despite my life long declaration of wanting to write. There were several things that caused me to reevaluate this stance, the primary three being: 1) If I didn't graduate high school I was never getting out of that horribly isolated, middle of nowhere town. 2) Writing was the only thing I knew I could be passionate about both in a personally fulfilling way, but also in a work way. Now, the only way I could successfully do that would be by forcing myself to engage with the entire other half of it I'd convinced myself I hated out of inadequate education. 3) Reading Maya Angelou's book, Poems (1981). We were given a large analysis project of one poet's whole collected works (or the closest edition we could find) and I chose Angelou because I remembered an excerpt from I Know Why The Caged Bird Sings (1969) being read aloud to my 7th grade class. It was her rhythm, rhetorical depth, and her humor that reformed my entire approach to the genre. I can't thank her enough.
"So," one might be asking, "Where does The Peach With Teeth fit into this, though?" And ohohohoh! The Peach With Teeth is several things. Primarily, I spent five months painstakingly embroidering it to be the cover of a hand-bound poetry chapbook. At this point, however, I'm thinking more of a compendium for the amount of poems I have, and for how many I'll write before I learn how to book bind. So, in that meantime the Peach is the cover of this blog.
The Peach is also a poem that I wrote in September of 2022, which is included below. That peach was deprived of teeth, tongue, and uvula, but had a more grounded horror within.
The Peach
I rinse the fuzz off, gently In the sink. The skin is a sunset of yellow, Magenta, pink. The first bite is honey sweet, The flesh slippery, My teeth peel away the skin I eat.
A bitter taste begins in my periphery And I see brown spreading around, Like a core. The tender sweet flesh peels away From its darkened sore.
Disgust rises in my body but I persist I eat the dripping good parts, I eat until the bad parts come too And they come veined with blue The pit itself, peeled back Is dusted with mold.
The poem is both a literal thing that happened—I did eat a moldy peach even though I saw an off patch on its skin and I could have stopped—also a metaphor. It's about seeing the signs that this won't end well, but needing another bite of sweetness to satiate that ache. It's about overconfidence and ignoring one's instincts. After a long while of hunger, the bitterness gets easier to ignore. That Peach and the Peach With Teeth, and many other Peaches can be expected to appear in my work. It's not my fault, I swear: my family had a peach tree in the backyard growing up. And if you, my darling reader, haven't tasted a sun-warmed peach right off the branch in late summer: I'm so sorry. The ones in the grocery store just don't compare when they're picked early to be shipped across country and thusly chemically ripened. They never get so thoroughly sweet through injected ethylene as by sunlight. It's only the skin that turns pink and softens, with the inside remaining hard, crisp, off-yellow. That these peaches are the only kind I can eat now, meaning I don't eat peaches, are part of what informed the teeth. Finally, the Peach With Teeth and her cousin The Peach poem have to be acknowledged for their sensual, even sexual, elements. 7/10 friends who I have shown The Peach With Teeth to have said "that looks like a vulva." Now, this was utterly unintentional, but when all your pretty queer friends say it enough times, you start to give up examine the metaphor closer. It's been said often that peaches and this girl right here 🍑 are used as euphemisms for the vulva/vagina. Now, when people are reduced to just their genitals, that's objectification. Not to say that the euphemism always is, as I can imagine some sappy sapphic love note tucked to sleep on a shelf somewhere. When I designed my embroidery pattern, I chose teeth for a core because of the utter contrast between the soft sweet flesh and the hard bone-bite of a chipped tooth. I was imagining it biting back and drawing blood. This is where my accident, the final image reading far more sensually than originally planned, synthesizes the ideas that have been rolling around in my head this whole time. It's about visceral misperception, of leaning to close to the lantern's gentle glow only for the grinning monster holding it to bite your head clean off. It becomes a euphemism flipped on its head: no more soft, sweet, hairless, harmless peaches. What we've got are teeth and tongues, a jaw unhinged but ready to snap right down at any time. Now, of course, to many of my 7/10 friends, this is still sexy.
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the-gayest-sky-kid · 11 months
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so this here is auggie: semi finalized!!! halliwell's... probably? not going to be his last name but i had no clue what surname to give him so its acting as a stand in aaa
so this is the blorbo. the new bsd oc i have been working on. from the fanfic i am Struggling with. same guy from the Art a while ago. august (i like the month okay) whatever last name i decide on at a later date.
notes!
his ability is called lucy locket! i actually came up with the ability's function first, and then i found that it fit pretty well. basically its a pocket dimension accessed via the users pockets. so far it has infinite storage, but whatever is added or removed at the present moment has to have been able to fit in the pocket originally. so you cant add/remove a large waterbottle from tiny jean pockets, for example. i like to think it only works when august himself pulls something out or puts something in. so. yknow. "not a penny was there in it, only ribbon round it". hehe
hes 25 because as much as a harp on bsd i also suck with ages so i rng-ed a number between 21 and 27 chcbdj
his birthday is june 21st! stole that from james orchard halliwell (see where that came from now) phillipps, bc he was the first to record the nursery rhyme. i also think him being born on the summer solstice in june but being named august is soo funny.
forgot to add it in correctly but his height is 5'8! that's about 173 cm? i think? i rounded it up technically its only like. 172.72?
168??? pounds??? which is apparently like 76kg? look i have no clue how weights work either i just took my own weight looked up the average for an adult and made something up. dont expect it to make sense.
bloodtype is a! i thought it was weird that the blood types were mentioned at all in the character bios but then i remembered the whole stereotype thing so i just picked whatever i thought fit.
he likes goldfish (hence the socks and earrings), rice (its rice), and hats (because they are so neat)! i was thinking about funny sock patterns and then i was looking at the wiki page for catherine maria fischer (the supposed kitty fisher in the nursery rhyme) and one of her paintings had a fishbowl in it. and then i thought about yoimiya because i had been drawing her before and. yknow. he definitely does has a small hat collection, but he'd rather them not be damaged at work. theyre saved for parties and formal gatherings!
dislikes are long explanations, pollen (allergy 😔), and unpleasant textures (like bedsheets that give you the Feeling when you scratch them). he likes it when people get to the point, and im projecting my own sensory issues onto him hxjsj
moving on we have design notes!
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so here's our boy.
starting with the shirt, its actually based on one of the shirts i own. it's got the solid torso and the loose sheer sleeves, and i thought that was neat! though for him i think the sleeves would be a bit more opaque, and he's wearing a vest!
as for the tie you can see i noted that it's a bit of a cross between a criss cross tie and like... a sailor tie? i know it says bolo but thats because the word i was looking for was Tie Brooch for the pendant in the middle.
the cargo shorts!!! so obviously to best use his ability august needs something with rather large pockets, but i didn't know how to add those in. initially i wanted to go with some tights or normal slacks and have him wear a hoodie, but it was kind of... eh? so i tried cargo pants but those didn't work either. so then i tried on shorts and i Realized what needed to be done fhdjjws
knee high socks! i asked what how silly we should get with them and eni said knee highs and nobody said ankle with silly patterns so i combined the two! i think the combination is really funny.
the shoes! theyre just sneakers. comfy!
moving on
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i dont actually like this doodle but we're gonna have to bear with it augu
the earrings! theyre little fishies! initially i had different earrings planned but i wanted the fish socks to match with something hdhdhdh
hair tie! august has got the rest of his hair tied up with a little bow. i think its cute bfbdbd
and so you can see what i meant, here's the page of concepts i did!
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you can see the cargo pants, the hoodie, as well as the old earring design. i was playing around with the sleeves for a while xhdhhs
plus i got silly with one so maybe ill do smth with that at some point idk idk
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hirik0 · 7 months
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You always meet twice part 3
part 1 | part 2
Dirt road, Mexico 8 h after Graves betrayal
Ghost drove as fast as he dared speeding towards the safe house. Soap slipped in and out of consciousness. He needs to patch up Soap soon, but he's not sure if they are far away enough from Las Almas. Soap groans in pain and Ghost just stops in the middel of the road. Just a bandage he can do the rest in the save house. "Lt?", Soap ask confused. "Just a short stop, till we reached the safe house." "Can't believe Alejandro didn't tell me", Soap complains voice sounding tiered. "You were to friendly with Graves, nothing personal Soap", Ghost says shrugging before he pulls out a mini medical kit. Not seeing the hurt expressions on Soaps face, it felt personal to him. "Showed me the cool new shiny toys", Soap groans when Ghost putting a good amount of disinfectant on his arm. "Yeah, got something Price should put on our shopping list for Kate?", Ghost jokes geting a huff from Soap Johnny. "Na, don't think Laswell gets the founds for what I want", Soap pouts while Ghost is wrapping the bandage around his arm. Adorable.. oh bloody fucking shit not again. Soap is patched up enough for them to continue to drive. Get to the save house and then figure out how to get the fuck out of Mexico. This country is cursed he will never do a mission here again. Also not knowing who burned them sucks. Price hand picked them he would not, right? Gaz, he's Price protégé, but also he would never do something like this having still intact morales. Kate and Shepard in the other hand, who else could it be. Which means that if Price and Gaz aren't involved they have a target on ther backs now to. "Fucking shit", Ghost curses anger settings his blood on fire and maybe he steps a bit harder on the gas pedal then needed. Soap just holds on for dear live, clearly noticing how angry Ghost is and how fast they are driving in the dark over a sand road. But he stays silent hopening they will not crash or he bleeds out first.
They regrouped with Rudy in the save house and its time to finally taking proper care of Soaps arm. Rudy is collecting some supplies while Ghost is cooking some water to make it sterile while Soap is sitting on a table waiting. "Got everything, hermano", Rudy says when he puts all the supplies on the table. "Ghost, you got expiring in patching yourself together right?", Rudy ask when he notices that there is no exit wound. "Yes, Why?", Ghost ask bringing the water with him. "Ever needed to get a bullet out of yourself?" "A few", Ghost says grimmer understanding what Rudy is actually asking, Soap just swallows at the news of getting someone to pick a bullet out of his arm. Fucking Graves. "Don't think I should do it", Ghost admits as he starts feeling exhausted, from not really sleeping the last few days and the way his body is stopping producing adrenaline. Rudy nods, he's the most rested of the three, he had a nap, maybe cried before said nap, but nobody needs to know. He gets the gloves on before washing as much blood as possible from Soaps arm. While he picks around with the twisers in Soaps arm he asks: "When did Ale tell you about this safe house?" "Right before the oil rake." Rudy just nods, while having problems to get grip on the bullet. Soap does his best to not flinch death gripping the table edge. Cursing in Scottish in ways his mother would not approve. "He is trying to curse Graves bloodline or something like this?", Rudy asks amused before he finally is able to pull out the bullet. Ghost just shrugs but is laughing at Rudys comment. "Very funny Rudy", Soap says clearly not amused. Rudy just stitches him up before putting a new bandage on and giving Soap some pain killers. "Let's get some rest, Sergeant", Ghost says needing sleep just as badly as Soap at this point. "I will wake you up if we get unwanted guests", Rudy assures them while cleaning up. "Ghost drove the ones over that saw the car", Soap says. "Gave them a good close look", Ghost jokes making the other two laugh. Ghost takes a cot in the darkest conor needing the comfort of the shadow putting an knife under the pillow. Not been seen on the first, second and third glance can safe your live. Soap already passed out on his cot, occasionally snoring the only indication of him still breathing. But of course sleep dont just happend to Ghost no matter the exhaustion and of fucking course Tommy is haunting him again. Johnny was the only friend Tommy made Ghost liked, he didn't encourage Tommy to take harder drugs then Ecstasy and made sure that Tommy didn't drank to much. Hell he even convinced Tommy somehow to finish school and to get better grades. A small smile is spreading over his face, emotions are bubbeling up in him he didn't feel in a long time. He should stomp this emotions but sleep is claiming him instead.
Ghost wakes up 3 hours later, hes still exhauste, but he dont sleep more then that. 3 hours is honestly his equivalent of a full night rest. He hears Soap snoring feeling revealed that the Scot is still breathing. His eyes lids are still heavy maybe he would be able to just fall back asleep. Against his better knowledge he let's his eyes fall close again, knowing the next round of sleep will be filled with nightmares. Sleep slowly pulling him down again. The dreams are the worst he had in a while. Price throwing him down a cliff, Gaz stabbing him, Soap sliding his throat, Soap turning in to Graves, and from time to time Joseph's voice telling him to not trust the egg head. A clear reference to Shepard. He wakes up sweeting taking in deep breaths the rest of the 3 hour sleep washed away, he should just have gone up offering to Rudy to take a rest. He gets up, shortly looking over Soap seeing the younger is still in a deep sleep and the badge is still clean before he goes to Rudy who is looking over some blueprints. "You look like shit", is all Rudy is saying when Ghost steps in the light. He can only see Ghost eyes and general body langue, good observing skills. Ghost says nothing seeing that the remains of tears that run down Rudys face, if the other would look up Ghost is sure the eyes would be red and puffy. "You good Rudy?", Ghost ask instead of making a snark remark. "Si, why do you ask?", Rudy answers confused. "You cryed", Ghost stats his observation. Rudy looked up, his eyes are indeed red and puffy. "Got me there", Rudy says looking a bit ashamed, he got here in a lot better condition then Soap or Ghost and he still cried like this is the worst think ever happening to him. "We will get him and the others back, us three", Ghost says before looking at the blueprints of the base. "Si, honestly I think our chances are a lot better now then just me alone", Rudy says with a small smile. "Is that so?" "Si la fantasma is not on the enemies site big improvement, I guess Soap also will help", Rudy jokes. "So what's your plan?" Ghost asks chuckeling and shaking his head.
Soap wakes up after 6h of sleep, his first look goes to the cot Ghost claimed. He first thinks that he is just not seeing Ghost hidden in the shadow, but after several minutes if staring in the dark he realises Ghost already got up. He turn so he lays on his back, hearing the voices of Rudy and Ghost talking about something still to tiered to make out words. He puts his uninjured arms over his eyes before exhaling deeply. Jesus streaming shit, he has it bad. Running for your life and developing a crush on your fucking CO with the worlds shittiest jokes he ever heard.
"The mask take it off"
"Show my face?"
"Aye."
"Negative."
"Are you ugly?"
"Quite the opposite."
God Ghost sounded sure of himself, so smug and Soap wants to know now, seeing Ghosts face. What was he thinking? Flirting with his CO like this over radio with the enemy posibel to tap in on them every moment. A blush is painting his cheeks a dark pink. The voices of Ghost and Rudy are getting clearer now, they are talking over the base and strategies to infiltrate it. He takes a few deep breaths waiting for the blush to die down. He groans in pain when his arm is reminding him of the bullet would. Its loud enough for the other two to stop talking. Footsteps are aproaching him and he has to fight down the disappointment when its Rudy with pain meds and a glas of water. "How you're feeling hermano?, Rudy asks with,a tiered smile. "Like I got shot", Soap deadpans. "I see what Ghost calls humor must be rubbing of on you", Rudy says getting a insulted noice of protest from Soap. He has actual funny jokes and Rudy knows that. "Of with ya head, Rudy", Soap says before taking the meds. "Ready to kick Graves ass and get the Valqueros back?, Rudy ask with a smile on his face. "Aye."
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sneezingpotatoes · 8 months
Text
Hey there! Here's this little thing that turned into a big thing because I really want to post some writing but I always get hit with a roadblock whenever I try to work on one of my WIPs 🤣 So why not create something new!... for like the 15th time (literally) 👀🤣 LOL If you're seeing this then that means we dodged the WIP graveyard collection this time! 🤣 Anywayssss enjoy lol XD
"Wow, Ren! This prototype looks so amazing! Is this what you've been spending all your time on?"
"Yup. Just oneeee moreeee screw annnnd--" As he tightened the last screw, the robot made a few beeping sounds and immediately lit up with life. They both cheered with excitement as the robot immediately began to clumsily move around the room, curiosity at its peak as it began scanning whatever objects it could get it's hands on.
"I can't believe it! You've actually done it Ren!" His best friend Koji erupted, unable to contain himself as he lifted one of the robots arms and examined its face. "... It's almost freaky how life-like this thing is."
"We both did it, Koji. You helped a lot too." The roboticist exhaustedly muttered, nearly throwing himself into his chair and watching the robot curiously scan all of Koji's features.
"Well you've gotta name this thing! It's too cool to just be called prototype!"
"Hmm... PTBot A!" Ren called, having the robot make a beeping sound and quickly rush over to him. "Register new name... Ava. Ava, the Advanced Versatile Assistant."
The robot froze for a moment, processing the request before saying. "Hello. I am Ava, the Advanced Versatile Assistant, but you may call me Ava."
"Oooh, I like it! Sounds... Cute and techy... I guess? What can she do?"
"Well as of right now, learn. Her processor is still trying to finish downloading all of her basic functions and knowledge, but once that finishes, I'll start importing her advanced coding and she should be able to do just about everything we can and more. Fingers crossed."
His best friend leaned against the wall in awe, still surprised at the artificial robot roaming around the room. Although her movements were slightly choppy and robotic, she seemed to be functioning on her own accord, grabbing a variety of objects and curiously moving them around and identifying them.
"I can only imagine how she'll look like once the downloads are finished." Koji muttered.
"If all goes well, her movements should smoothen out and her biocomponents would be in more of a working order. Faster processing and all that." Ren rubbed his eyes and yawned, looking at his watch to check the time.
"Stop saying 'if', bro. You know it's gonna work! I mean just look at how great she is already!"
"... We'll see. But thanks, Koji." He mumbled through another exhausted yawn, "It's like 6 in the morning dude, I need to sleep. I know you've had some good rest but I can't be your only source of entertainment all day."
"Oh, ha-ha, very funny. You think that just because you made a bomb ass robot you're hot shit now? I knew you in middle school, you know. Don't forget that." Koji teased.
"... Ava, escort the crews dead weight out of my lab and to his office, please."
"Understood." Ava blandly responded, approaching Koji and gesturing towards the door. "Dead weight, if you could please exit the quarters, your services are no longer needed."
"Stop it, dude! She's going to remember that and actually think that's true about me!"
"That's the point." Ren said through a soft chuckle as he watched Ava guide him out of the room.
"Don't listen to him, Ava! He's lying! I'm technically your co-creator! He's the dead weight, not me!"
"I'm sorry that you feel that way, dead weight. According to my records, your office is down this hall. Allow me to escort you."
"Urrgh, finneeee."
Ren released another soft chuckle as he closed the lab door, hearing their voices disappear down the hallway.
He was so glad that Koji had so much confidence in his work, but he couldn't say the same about himself. He just hoped that he built Ava properly and that everything would all work out just as he planned for it to. Only time would tell. Ren sighed, removing his lab coat and pressed the blue button on his wall, revealing a hidden temporary bedroom. Boy was he tired; 8 months of nonstop working on Ava took a lot out of him, but it was well worth it. He'd do it all over again if he needed to.
The man hung his lab coat on the railing above his bed and immediately plopped onto the firm mattress, grunting with a little discomfort. He couldn't complain though; He was super tired and just grateful he even had somewhere to lay at the moment. Before he could attempt to close his eyes, two soft knocks against his lab door are heard, followed by Ava's voice.
"May I come in?"
"Enter, Ava."
The robot obliged, entering the room and immediately scanning her creator laying on the mattress. She looked around his temporary bedroom for a moment before speaking.
"The dead weight has been escorted into his office."
"Thanks Ava... You don't have to call him that anymore. His name is Koji." Ren lightheartedly chuckled again.
"... Okay Ren, current data has been corrected to Koji... If you don't mind, might I ask what is so humorous?" Ava innocently asked, eyes locked onto Ren as his chuckles abruptly stopped once she asked the question.
"... I'll explain it to you another time." He exhaustedly muttered, already feeling his brain fog up from just thinking about explaining it to her. After an intense moment, Ava dejectedly nodded in understanding and began looking at all the pictures he had on his shelves in order to get some more information about her creator. "... Ava, I'm very tired and need to sleep. Turn off the lights, please."
"Of course, Ren. I'll do that for you right away." She gave her automated response, and quickly turned off all the lights in his lab, watching as he flipped sides and pulled his blanket over his head. "... What would you like me to do in the meantime, Ren?" She blandly asked, staring at the lump underneath the blanket.
"I don't know- keep scanning stuff in the lab or something." He softly mumbled, voice barely audible through both the blanket and his exhaustion.
"I've already scanned and identified all 374 objects in your lab, Ren. What else would you like for me to do?"
"... Just... do whatever, I don't care. Let me sleep." He sighed, irritably shifting underneath the blankets. "If anyone tries to come in, tell them to come back next week."
"Understood Ren." She affirmed, turning to leave the bedroom. Before she completely walked away, she froze and turned back to her creator. "Ren...?"
"... What is it now, Ava?"
"... Is it true that you hated artificial intelligence and robotics in middle school?" She inquired, hearing Ren sigh from the mattress.
"... Ava, register Koji's name to Dead Weight again, please." She froze for a moment before confirming the successful change. "And to answer your question... Yes, it's true, but that was over 15 years ago. I was a stupid kid."
"... Okay. Goodnight, Ren."
"Goodnight, Ava."
The sunlight peering in from underneath the closed blinds rudely awakens the once sleeping robotics engineer. He flops the blanket all the way to the other side of his bed and gives a big yawn to shake off all the sleep, almost sounding like a lions roar. A cough escapes him as his throat is dry and a little itchy from all the sleep.
"Good afternoon, Ren. I hope you slept well." Ava approaches his bedside with a smile and a glass of water, which surprises the roboticist. He almost forgot about Ava and her completion; It wasn't a dream, and her downloads must've progressed, seeing how she was able to smile now and read his discomfort by grabbing him some water.
"Thank you." He muttered dryly, immediately drinking the water down. "Ava, what is today's date please?"
"Today is Friday, September 8th. Current time is 4:27pm." She recited, grabbing the empty glass and placing it in the sink. It's already Friday? But it was just Wednesday! "You were sleeping for quite a while, so I took it upon myself to tidy up your lab. I hope you don't mind, given your last command was to 'do whatever, I don't care.'"
"... That was very thoughtful of you, Ava. Thanks." Ren applauded her through a few dry coughs, still finding it difficult to speak for long without the itchiness returning at the back of his throat.
"Would you like another glass of water?" Ava offered, noting his continued discomfort.
"No, thank you." The roboticist grabbed his lab coat from above his bed and pressed the button, hiding his bedroom once again and headed into his restroom to freshen himself up.
"I would like to inform you that 30 associates stopped by your lab while you were sleeping, including dead weight." Ava announced from the outside of the door, over the sound of splashing water. "A lot of them wanted to congratulate you for completing me." She said a little louder this time, smiling when Ren opened the restroom door and halted in shock from seeing her standing so close to the door. "I told them to come back next week, just like you asked."
"Thank you, Ava. Hey... are you able to cook by chance? I'm not sure how far along the first stage of downloads are..." Ava's face lit up at the asking of that question.
"Certainly, Ren! The download of Phase 1 is currently at 67%. Please let me know what you would like to eat and I would be happy to make it for you." Ren stood in thought for a moment, feeling uneasy with how fast the download speed was going. I mean it was a lot of data to download, but at the same time... This is only Phase 1... If it's taking this long, then Phase 2 might-- "Please do not trouble yourself, I am confident that I can prepare any dish that you would like. My memory bank holds over 30,000 recipes from around the world. So please..." She stated, attempting to reassure Ren and pull him out of his own thoughts.
"Well alright then, Ava. You've won me over. I'm a simple man so I just want an omelet over sweet rice. I should already have those ingredients in my cabinets." He mused, finding it interesting how much Ava was trying to read him.
"Yes, you have enough ingredients in your possession to make 132 of the 30,000 recipes stored in my memory bank. You should look into getting more groceries, Ren."
"I don't live here so it's fine." He chuckled, grabbing a seat at his office desk and watching Ava begin to prep his meal. She was moving more like a human now; she even hummed softly as she cooked, which made him feel a little warm on the inside, oddly enough. "Ava, why are you humming?" Ren questioned, curiously. If that was the one thing they had in common, they were both curious creatures. She paused for a moment for what Ren thought was to process the question and shortly resumed her cooking.
"According to my records, humming reduces stress. Does it bother you Ren? I will stop."
"No-no, it doesn't. I was just wondering. Please, continue..." He muttered, intrigued. "Sarabande and Polka... Great choice."
"Yes, I read that it's your favorite." She cheerfully chimed, plating the side of sweet rice. "I hummed it to you while you were sleeping. You kept tossing and turning so I thought it would help."
"How thoughtful of you, Ava." Ren acknowledged, unsure of how to feel with that information. "... Maybe that's the reason why I slept for so long."
Surprisingly, Ava gives a chuckle to the latter statement as she plated the omelet on top of the sweet rice and handed him the plate. Ren looks up at her, shocked by her giggle only to find her smiling and glaring down at him, gesturing towards the plate. "Please enjoy, Ren. I will go and clean up."
The roboticist nodded and thanked her as he looked at the beautiful golden omelet resting on top of the fluffy bed of rice. He had to admit... it did look really good. Probably better than anything he ever made. But then again, he wasn't a chef but even so, this was still remarkable for a robot that was only a day old. Ren immediately took a bite out of the omelet and smiled, both surprised and grateful at how good the food was.
"This is amazing, Ava. I couldn't be happier." He openly admitted, earning a huge smile from his robot.
"I am pleased to have served you!" She announced with a bow, face glowing with honor.
The food was hitting the spot; after sleeping for a day and a half, his body was nearly eating itself. Another hour of that and he probably would've been a pile of bones. Had Ava not been there, he probably wouldn't have had the energy to even make this meal. After a few minutes of scarfing down the plate of food, he felt a little bit recovered and energized. He handed Ava the empty dish, which she gratefully accepted and began to wash.
"What's on the agenda today, Ren?" She asked, still washing out the dishes.
"I'm not sure..." He absently replied, deep in thought. "I'll probably chat with a few people and head home. Afterall, you are my biggest achievement at the moment. I'll probably look after you and make sure all of your systems are functioning properly. Probably monitor all the downloads and keep a close eye on how you're operating for--" He paused for a moment, taken aback by the prickling sensation he feels quickly forming in the depths of his nostrils. It only takes one dry sniff to ignite the prickling into a full fledged wild fire as it forces his shoulders to rise upward from the abrupt inhale and jerk forwards with a harsh sneeze.
"Hih... H'ESSCH!" It was a snappy and a little wet sneeze, seeing how it felt like his nostrils were drooling over the burning sensation pulsing deep in his nostrils. His robot companion immediately swiveled a 180 towards the location of the sound, interest piqued and attention grabbed. She curiously watched as he rubbed at his nose and quickly searched around for something but appeared to have no luck. "A-Ava..." He desperately stuttered out, eyes closing once again from the distracting tickle. She approached him with haste, audio censors listening for his voice command. "I n-need ahh... a-HIH'EGSHHhn...!! A dissue, blease." She was frozen for a second, trying to process and compute the last command given by her creator.
"I do not understand. What is... 'a dissue'?" Ava innocently asked, attempting to repeat his audibly congested plea for a tissue in her query and trying to understand.
"A tdissue!" Ren tried to repeat through his cupped hand, a little louder this time, hoping to sound a little clearer, but he's sure he failed as he could still see the confusion on her face.
"I'm sorry, Ren. I still do not understand your request, but I see that you are cupping your nose. Perhaps you need a tissue?" He gratefully nodded his head, watching her go into the restroom and grab the tissue box. Once she returned, he eagerly blew his nose, releasing a few small gurgling nose blows into the tissues. "I apologize for the miscommunication. I should've known that's what you were asking for sooner."
"That's okay." He breathily mumbled, still massaging his nose with the tissues. "I just didn't know you moved the tissues either, but it's fine."
"Hm." She folded her arms and tapped her cheek in thought for a moment. "Were those sneezes, Ren?"
"... Yes. Why do you ask?"
"Bless you, Ren. I will be prepared next time. Thank you." She muttered, grabbing a handful of tissues and shoving them into her front pocket.
"N-no that's not necessary! You don't have to do that." He sheepishly replied, but Ava had already returned back to cleaning the dishes and was already humming again. "... Once you're finished cleaning those dishes, we can head out. How does that sound?"
"That sounds great, Ren." Ava cheered as she placed the last dish onto the countertop.
--
"Ava, lock the door please." Ren muttered, still trying to fit all of his modems and drives into his bag.
"Of course." She affirmed, grinning as she locked the door and returned to her creator. "Would you like for me to carry your bag for you, Ren?"
"Sure, thank you." The roboticist agreed, zipping up one last zipper to his bag before seeing the shoes of Koji appear directly in front of him.
"There he is!" Koji announced, looking his best friend up and down. "I would've thought you died had I not known who you are." He chuckled.
"Shut up, I was tired okay? Like, really tired." Ren muttered with a chuckle, placing his bag onto Ava.
"Guess that explains why you're making a girl carry your bag for you? Not a good look man."
"Hey, she offered!" Ren erupted defensively, coughing afterwards from the sudden change in volume of his voice.
"Everything is fine, dead weight. Please do not concern yourself with our affairs." She stated blandly, looking to Ren shortly after to make sure he was okay.
"Hey, I told you I'm not dead weight around here! Why won't you listen to me!" He sounded more like he was whining and begging Ava at this point but she wasn't budging.
"Hey, if you stumble across any crew members, tell them we said thanks for all of the congratulations. It means a lot."
"For sure, dude. Don't worry. How's Ava's progress coming along? It looks like she's matured a lot since Wednesday."
"Everything's going well so far. My only concern is that thehh-hih..." Ava glares at her creator and notices his flaring nostrils and immediately begins to dig into her pocket for the tissues that she grabbed earlier. Another faint hitch escapes him but before he can double over with the sneeze, Ava shoves a handful of tissues into his hands. "Heh--EDSSCHh!!" He blinks a few times, surprised by the whole ordeal, but before he can even say anything--"Heh'ESCHHiih!!"-- The next sneeze tears right out of him and is buried into the handful of tissues.
"Woah, bless you dude! That whole thing was so smooth. It almost looked like this has happened before."
"T-thagks... She saihh... S-she-hihh'EGDTSHH!!!" He can't even speak his sentence as the third sneeze cuts him off and he's sent back into the handful of tissues.
"Bless you, Ren. I told you that I would be prepared for next time."
"Yes, that." He exhaustedly agreed, gurgling into the handful of tissues a few times.
"Holy shit! I guess Ava really is Ava-ing!" Koji humored, watching Ava take his soiled tissues and throw them into the trashcan.
"I just hope the download finishes soon. She's still only on Phase 1."
"Hey, what'd I tell you about stressin' so much? Ava, you better keep my man in line!" Ava only gave him in a confused look in return. "I'm sure it'll all work out. Just believe, man!"
"... You're right. I'll see you around. Gonna go home and take my mind off things for now, I guess." He muttered, scratching his head and starting for the door.
"Woah, hey! We need to celebrate your big achievement!" Koji exclaimed, darting in front of him to stop him. "You can't go home yet! Let's go to the bar or get something to eat!"
"Nah, no thanks. I just ate and I'm honestly just not feelin' it today, sorry."
"Alright, don't worry about it. Text me later bro! And congrats again!"
After that, Koji left them to return to his office and the two began to silently walk outside towards his car. Ava seemed enlightened at the view of nature in front of the lab. It was refreshing for Ren to see her face light up at the smallest things he and everyone probably took for granted.
"Beautiful, isn't it?" The roboticist muttered as he placed his bag into the vehicle.
"Very. It's one thing to see it as an imprinted image, but another to see it up close in realtime." She said as she touched the dirt and began analyzing it. "If only you could see all of the tiny organisms living inside just this one clump of dirt!" She grabbed a fist full of dirt and began squishing it in the palm of her hand, looking so fascinated and entertained. She would've been completely intranced had Ren not coughed into the crook of his elbow. "Oh! I'm sorry, did I keep you waiting?" She exclaimed after noticing Ren standing by the open car door watching her.
"No-no, not at all." He barely managed to say through a few more chesty coughs, which earned a mildly concerned look from Ava. "I don't mind waiting. This is your first moment outside, so don't let me ruin it." He humored.
"Thank you, Ren. We can go now. I know your body must be worn." She couldn't help but smile at what she perceived as selflessness from her creator as she was helped into the vehicle. "... Ren?"
"Yes, Ava?"
"... I'm glad you turned down dead weight's offer." She muttered softly into the window, almost soft enough to not be heard, which earned a curious look from Ren.
"Why is that?" He lightly coughed to himself after cranking the car on and exiting the parking lot.
"I don't like dead weight." The way she said that line made Ren do a double take to look at her and make sure she was still a robot girl. It sounded a bit too human-like. "But also because we will have more time to spend together. More time for me to learn from you."
"... Well, Ava, I don't want you to think that I'm the only person you can learn from. There's so much for you to learn outside of just me. I built you to be versatile. Eventually, you'll be surrounded by all sorts of amazing people that you'll learn a lot from. Including dead weight Koji." She doesn't respond, keeping her expression blank and unreadable. "... But please, don't dismiss Koji yet. He's actually a great guy once you get to know him a little better." He mutters to break the silence. "Infact, he was the one that got me back into robotics those years ago. Without him, we wouldn't even be here right now."
"... Okay. You're the best teacher, Ren."
--
"What a lovely house, Ren!" She exclaimed, scanning the entire room around her.
"I know, it's almost like I programmed you to say that." He humored to himself as he locked the door and kicked his shoes off. "I haven't been here in about a month so please excuse the mess." He stopped to wonder for a moment, finding it interesting that he was actually starting to talk to Ava as if she were a real human being. Why would a robot care about a mess or anything like that? He sighed and grabbed his head with slight confusion on what to even think anymore. "Anyway, just go ahead and make yourself at home or whatever. I'm going to take a quick shower."
"Okay, Ren!" She exclaimed, still scanning all of his belongings like a child opening presents on Christmas morning.
She felt like she hit a gold mine with all of his belongings scattered about the home. Everywhere she looked, there were new traces of his life and character; his lab was just a sneak peak of the person that was Ren Tokayama. He had many diplomas, awards and ribbons hanging on all of his living room walls. Plenty of framed group photos of him and what appeared to be his crewmates winning awards for previous machines and gadgets they built. It really was like she had a VIP pass to the Ren museum. She decides to utilize this time to tidy up his house, or atleast get started, while he's in the shower, scanning every item she touched while she cleaned.
A few moments later, she hears the bedroom door open and sees Ren enter the room with a fluffy robe on, still drying his hair with a towel and yawning briefly. His yawn is cut short as he jumps in surprise at the sight of Ava, almost forgetting that she was inside of his house.
"Oh, you startled me, Ava." Ren says, hand over his heart in shock.
"Welcome back, Ren. I didn't mean to startle you. hope that you are feeling refreshed." Ava happily chimed, placing a book and fresh hot tea onto the table for her creator. "I've prepared your favorite book and some green tea to help you relax and sooth your irritated throat."
"I appreciate it, Ava. How did you come to the conclusion that this was my favorite book?"
"I looked through all of your bookcases while you were in the shower, and this book had the most of your fingerprints on it and seemed to have the most usage... Was I incorrect?"
"No, you were correct, but... You could've just asked me what my favorite book was. I didn't want you to go through all the trouble."
"It's no trouble." She chimed, "I enjoyed it. I felt like... I was going on an adventure." Ren furrowed a confused brow, but decides not to say anything and takes a sip of the tea after putting on his reading glasses. It did feel nice against his itchy throat though, that was for sure. He couldn't help but go back for a second sip.
"How are you functioning, Ava? Status check." The roboticist questioned as he flipped open his book.
"All systems are online and functioning, Ren. Battery percentage is at 72%, with 3.25 days of runtime remaining. Filters are moderately clear. Internal temperatures are neutral." She recited, almost in a dismissive tone.
"Good, thank you. Be sure to let me know if anything happens with any of your systems." He commanded, almost like a protective father.
"Of course, Ren."
Every now and then, Ren peered up from his book only to catch Ava staring at him from across the table, fingers overlapping each other as if she were patiently waiting for something. He tried to ignore her, but it was becoming increasingly difficult as her cold, unmoving stare was beginning to burn a hole into the middle of his forehead. The roboticist snuffled thickly, wiping the underside of his nose and instantly furrowed a confused brow once Ava's eyes went blank like they usually did when she was processing information.
"Umm, Ava?"
"Yes, Ren?" She replied shortly after, pink eyes staring directly into his soft brown orbs, unblinking.
"Why are you staring at me?" The roboticist asked, feeling a bit uneasy with the unbroken staring she had been doing for the past 20 minutes.
"According to my records, you will be sneezing soon, and whenever that happens, I will be ready to assist you."
"That's nonsense, Ava." Ren said through a soft chuckle, with a bit of surprise in his voice from the reasoning. "And just where did you gather that data from, missy?" He humored.
"Research." She replied, simply, borderline pouting, "And studying you, Ren."
"Fascinating." He muttered to himself in thought, "Well tell me, Ava, what data have you gathered about me that will tell you when I'm going to sneeze, hm? Humor me." Ava seemed to light up at the curiosity of her creator and smiled when he casually removed his reading glasses and sat his book down onto the table. "You have my attention."
"I'm glad you asked, Ren. Based off of my observations, firstly, your nose begins to vaguely twitch ever so slightly, indicating a soft irritation. It's very subtle and slight to the human eye, but my visual processors allow me to detect this microscopic movement. To you, I believe it would only feel like a mild discomfort, or perhaps a very faint tingling?" She was speaking almost as if she were unveiling a master plan or exposing an enemy mastermind of some sort; Ren almost bats an eye at how passionate she was about the subject. It seemed like she had something to prove. "After a while, depending on the dust levels in the area, the irritation begins to grow over time into the tickling or burning sensation that you start to tangibly feel, which might make you start to rub at your nose or sniff a little bit."
"Hmm, okay, fairly normal assessments for the most part. Go on." The roboticist muttered in a manner that indicated he was listening through a brief cough into a closed fist.
"At this point, I'm aware that you have about a 92% chance of sneezing due to your underlying illness."
"Underlying illness??? Wait, what?"
"Yes," she stated matter-of-factly with a hint of surprise as if she were shocked that he didn't know, "I did a data analysis scan on the used tissues in your lab from earlier today, which tested positive for Influenza A. Furthermore, I've noted that your body involuntarily pauses when you are on the brink of a sneeze, followed by your broken breaths, the initial inhale, and, of course, the exhale of the sneeze. The confirming giveaway that you are officially going to sneeze is the sharp tremble your nose does before your nostrils flare up." She paused for a moment in thought, staring blankly for a moment before approaching his side and handing him a light stack of tissues, "In this instance, though, I gather that you will sneeze approximately 3 times within the next... minute or so." Ren was silent for a couple of seconds, unable to configure a response to her analysis. He didn't expect her to read a whole detailed essay just about his sneezing habits.
"Simply astonishing." He finally blurted out, fairly impressed with her deep analysis and already beginning to feel his sinuses start to tingle a bit harsher than before, just as Ava had predicted. "So this is what you were working on when you were staring at me got do long?" He breathily asked, finding it increasingly difficult to keep his eyes open. "I will admit... My n-nose is startinghh t-togehhIH--" He froze for a moment, eyes finally shutting before he immediately jerked to the side with a spine chilling sneeze directed into the tissues. "--HEH'EGDJISH'iu!!!" The sneeze nearly rips out of him, almost catching him off guard with the quickness of it as he was still thinking about everything Ava had said, wondering if it all actually applied. He laughed internally at himself a little as he felt his nostrils tremble and flare up just as Ava had said before, immediately bending over with another-- "H'EKSSCH...!! Wow." The roboticist exhaustedly blew his nose, briefly with his eyes still closed and his breaths scattered. "I h-had ndo idea thht... y-youhh-hIH--"
"--Are so observant?--" She quickly reached for a few more tissues, noting his twitching nostrils and subtle grimace, immediately handing them to him once his chest bounced again.
"--AH'KSSHHN!! Hihh... Y-yes." He mumbled, massaging his nose through the handful of tissues.
"Bless you, Ren." She smiled, taking joy in the surprise on Ren's face. "You created me to be."
TBC...
How knows, if I'm feeling kinda sussybaka I might make a part 2 lol
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aritamargarita · 1 year
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ATTITUDE || 016
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*makes my return, all the things she said plays in the background, holds up women’s championship* HEYYY GUYS.
AGHGHGHG. that’s basically how i feel about this chapter. there’s a lot going on but at the same time everything is awesome. decided to just put attitude out first smh im already late asf on everything WHY NOT⁉️ i hate tumblr. sorry if this seems short i was scared to even post this bruh
now ik u guys are wondering. some superstars randomly disappeared (coughEDGEcough) but they’ll be back soon lmao..including more superstar appearances like nwo, eddie, all that jazz.
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You feel okay.
Like you’re hanging off the edge of a cliff. There is no way to get back up. Your only choice is to fall down.
You’re laying on the floor of the locker room. Nothing could ever replicate the feeling of Raven’s touch. No, nothing could ever replicate his presence.
You’re not even sure if you have the energy to go out for any matches anymore.
The sound of banging at your door doesn’t make you jolt even a little bit. Austin’s voice behind it doesn’t make you move a muscle either.
“Open this damn door!”
You still make no moves, instead tilting your head upward. The room is upside down. But the feeling of blood rushing towards your head feels fantastic.
After a few more minutes of banging, the door eventually comes off its hinges.
Wow. He actually took the door down this time!
You smile seeing not only Austin, but Debra coming into the room. There’s a cameraman right behind them, so you figure you have to play things up a bit.
“The hell’s gotten into ya’?!” He yells. There’s a scowl on his face but it only makes you laugh. “I don’t think this shit is funny...”
“[Name], I’m very concerned about you…” Debra trails off nervously. “You were rude to me earlier and Doctor Smiley said your session went terribly.”
Austin decides to yank you up off of the floor. All you have is a goofy smile on your face. He narrows his eyes at you. “Ya’ got anything to say?”
“I’ve never, ever, felt so alive.” You answer, voice calm and collected. “I think Doctor Smiley’s classes were enlightening. However…I’m sorry, Debra. If we’re being honest, Austin’s the one who started it. It was such a cruel, cruel attack on Raven, who was only participating in the exercise. I feel like Raven did no wrong. I feel like he does no wrong whatsoever.”
For a moment, the other two look at you in confusion, before brushing it off. Debra looks over at Austin and crosses her arms. “Do you have anything to say about this?”
Austin scoffed. “Listen, the guy was gettin’ a little too handsy. You would’ve done somethin’ too.” He doesn’t exactly apologize. “That ain’t the point. Chris Jericho’s my opponent tonight and ya need to get it together before we lose again. Do whatever ya’ can to help me out.”
You nod, the liveliness slowly coming back. “Of course! We won’t lose. There’s no way we’d lose.” For a moment, you feel like you’re back to your mood from earlier tonight. Just full of happiness and excitement to be here.
“Don’t worry, I’m fine. Totally don’t know what got into me. Listen, I’ll distract the referee or something!”
Debra seems fine with your apology, walking over to you with a frown. “Sweetie, let me fix you up a bit..” She tries to fluff your hair with her fingers, then dusts off your shirt a bit. If only she had an iron... “There’s dark circles under your eyes! Did you get any sleep last night?”
You thought you did. You wonder if earlier might’ve………….
“And pull your pants up, you look like Lita.” She points out.
“I’d look cute with Lita’s style though.” You sigh, pulling them up.
“The hell you would.” Austin cuts in. “I’m gonna get changed. Ya’ have 5 minutes to meet me in gorilla. I’m leavin’ if you’re not there.”
“Okay.” You give a thumbs up as he exits the now doorless room.
Debra gave you a small smile. “You can tell me anything, you know.” She says. “It doesn’t make sense for you to be so…you know. What happened after I saw you?”
“I’m just nervous.” You quickly say. “I uh, I keep hearing that I’m going to get a match at Vengeance. I’m not sure how to feel.”
“I see. Don’t let it bother you too much. I’m sure you’ll give whoever you’re going against what’s coming to them. I don’t want you walking around like you don’t have any sense.” Debra comes over one more time to make sure you look presentable.
“I’m frustrated with you two…but all I can ask is that you two try your best.”
Just as she asked, you’ll do your very best.
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RAW IS WAR // 8:49 PM
The sound of glass shattering was your cue. You follow right behind Austin, waving to the crowd as you go. You probably weren’t supposed to, but oh well.
Austin quickly gets into the ring and starts attacking Jericho with strikes. You want to hop on the ring apron for a closer look, but instead you stay outside of the ring. Austin irish-whips Jericho into the ropes but the latter clambers out to get some air.
Not for long though. You turn him around and slap him, reminiscent of a couple nights ago. Austin comes out and shoves Jericho into the corner of the steel steps.
He gives him a few chops on the chest and turns towards you. “Hit ‘em!”
You’d be more than happy to! You lick your hand before tearing it back and slapping him across the chest as hard as you could. The crowd sitting nearby winces at the loud sound.
You shake your hand out with a smile and smack him one more time before he falls to the ground in pain.
Austin takes back the reins, pulling Jericho up and slamming him into the guardrail.
That was enlivening! All you can do is laugh. Bringing him pain was the highlight of your night. You hope there’s more opportunities to rough him up.
Back into the ring they go. You’re on the outside, watching ever so carefully. The more you watch them go, the more you take notes. You think Austin’s wrestling style is a bit too hard hitting for you, but it’s still good to learn.
Austin attempts to hit Jericho with a stunner, but the latter reverses and tries hitting him with his own stunner. It fails, and Austin takes him down with a double leg sweep.
You jump for joy as Austin starts twisting him over into the Walls of Jericho. This is fantastic! Your partner has been on fire all night! He didn’t even need your help right now.
But alas, the moment is short lived as Jericho reaches over to the ropes, grabbing it and causing the referee to make Austin drop the hold.
Jericho was holding onto that bottom rope for dear life, so you come over and smack his hands. “Let go of the ropes!”
Austin stomps on his back and you take a step away. You could hear someone from the crowd call your name, so you turn on your heel to face them.
The girl from the crowd seems star struck, but nervously waves at you. You wave back. It wasn’t over, the girl ushers you to come closer.
She raises her voice so you can hear her. “D-Do you think you’ll get the Women’s Championship?”
That was a good question.
“I don’t know! You think I should go for it?” You have a big smile on your face, one that makes her feel more relaxed. “What’s wrong with Trish and the Championship?”
“I don’t really like Trish….” She admits. “I think you’re just the coolest! You’re awesome! Oh, hey, do you have a crush on Jeff Hardy?!”
It’s the nicest thing you’ve heard all night from a fan. “Thank you!” You exclaim. “Listen, Trish is a good champion though!” You’re not sure how to reply to the Jeff comment, after all, Raven is your one and only! “Mmm, I’m not sure.”
Jericho is getting the better of Austin in the ring. This time, he tries pulling him into the Walls of Jericho as revenge for earlier.
Turning your attention back to the ring, you felt scared. You hope he doesn’t tap out. Just incase, you hop onto the ring apron in an attempt to get the referee’s attention.
“Hey!” You call, giving a wave. “Over here!” You make a fuss long enough for Austin to crawl over to the ropes and grab it. Once you notice he’s got it, you jump off. The referee yells at Jericho to release his hold.
He does, dragging Austin to the center of the ring and tries to put him in the submission again. Luckily, Austin kicks him right in his face.
Jericho staggers for a moment, but gives the finger to Austin as he’s still down on the mat. He instead runs over to the ropes and jumps off to try and give him a moonsault, but Austin rolls out of the way and Jericho lands on his feet.
Austin recovers much to your relief, and before you knew it, he hits the stunner on Jericho. Just like that, you hear the crowd scream “1, 2, 3!”
The match was over!
You’re almost brought to tears. Even commentary refers to this win as something you’ve both needed. You roll into the ring, excitedly jumping up and down before holding your hands up.
Austin hesitates for a minute, unsure with what you were doing at first, but gives you a high five with both hands once he realizes. He then walks over to the side and catches two beers that were thrown at him.
He cracks one open and tosses another to you. You crack it open with ease. Now, you weren’t a big beer drinker, but the swig you took was the sweet taste of victory.
This is a night that we all deserve!
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RAW IS WAR // 9:01 PM
“That was awesome!” You yell, turning over to Austin. The camera pans over to you. “You won! No, we really won! I mean, when you hit that stunner, it was like BAM! Jericho didn’t even know what was coming to him! He tried it, then you got back at him! Like ugh!!!!”
Austin gives you a smile, a genuine one. He finishes his last bit of beer. “Hell yeah we did.”
Debra claps her hands for you two. “You two were wonderful tonight. Congratulations!”
“I say we go to McDonald’s!” You recommend. “In celebration! I can drive!” As you head down the hallway, you stop suddenly stop in your tracks.
“Ohhh my god.” You mutter, hitting Austin’s shoulder. “OHH MY GOD!!”
“What’s the problem??” He yanked away from you, a confused look on his face.
“Look! Down the hallway!!” You point. “That’s Bret fucking Hart!” You were completely starstruck, hell, completely in awe. The crowd too, popping for the mention of his name. “Oh my god.” You wanted an autograph. You wanted an autograph bad. Really bad.
Austin doesn’t even know what to say at first. For the first time in a while, he’s speechless. All he can do is laugh. “Ya’ serious?”
Debra gasps. “Oh my! We are in Canada after all, no wonder he’s hanging around. I can’t remember the last time I saw him…”
You’re still freaking out. “Holy shit. I think going to faint. It’s really him!”
The Rattlesnake realizes that you are indeed serious. He points a finger towards the Hitman. “You’re a fan of him? …Debra, you seein’ this shit?”
Debra hits his shoulder lightly. “Let the girl have this. He’s a good wrestler! Good man, too.” Austin crosses his arms and she threw her hands up in defense. “What? I’m just saying.”
He scoffed. “I’m your husband, god damnit.”
“I’ve seen a lot of your matches with him! In Your House was my favorite one!” You hoped you looked good, instinctively straightening out your shirt. It’s safe to say you’ve always had a TINY crush on Bret Hart.
Just a tiny one. He’s very inspiring!
“I really want to go say hi.” You say.
“Go ahead.” Debra lightly pushes you. “We’ll wait for you right here.”
Austin looks like he’s going through all five stages of grief in one fell swoop. “I need to take a blood pressure test. Debra, where’s the cuff link?”
The woman rolls her eyes at him, but you take a deep breath and head towards Bret. You need to hype yourself up. Make it seem like you’re really cool. You take a deep breath as the camera follows you over to his spot.
“Hi…!” You wave.
He turns around curiously, giving you a warm smile at the sight of you. You’re feeling lightheaded, good god. “Hey, how are you? Do I know you?”
“I’m greood! I mean, I’m great, good!” You inwardly curse at yourself for mushing your words together. You were nervous as hell. “No, you don’t know me. I’m [Name], a WWF wrestler. But I know you! You’re Bret Hart, and I’m a really big fan.”
“Really now?” He grins. “You’re really a fan? “Now that I think about it, I may have saw one of your matches as I was watching Raw. If you’re who I think you are, you’ve got some spunk to you.”
“Thanks! Stone Cold Steve Austin said the same thing to me, actually.” You say. “I’m like, his supporter or something. I’m just here.”
“He’s right.” He confirmed. “I think you’re a star in the making. You keep up the good work, you’ll win a title in no time.”
“I really want to. Gonna do the best I can with what I got for now.” It makes you think back to what that fan said. If you went for a title, you’d sure that she’d be elated. “I totally didn’t know you were going to be here! I-I mean I know we’re in Canada but oh my god. Are you wrestling tonight?”
“Don’t plan to. Maybe a promo or two.” Bret says. “I’m taking a bit of a break from wrestling, waiting for the right time to lace up my boots again.”
“Totally understandable.”
It’s quiet between you two before he puts a hand in his pocket, sliding out a pink pair of glasses. “Hey, I don’t suppose a big fan of mine would enjoy a souvenir?”
Was he going to give those glasses to you??? You look at him eagerly. Fuck yes, you’d enjoy a souvenir! “I don’t have a pen on me though.” You say. Even if he couldn’t sign it, you were just thrilled to even get something from him.
“That’s fine. If anyone asks, you can just tell them talk to me.” He reassured, sliding them on your face.
The clicking of heels makes you look over with a smile. Debra’s rushing over to you two with a disposable camera. “How cute! C’mon, let me get a picture. For the memories!”
“Can I get a hug?” You blurt out.
Bret nods. “Bring it in.” He puts his arms around you and you feel like you’ve just accomplished all your goals. That’s it.
….You’re keeping that picture for the rest of your life.
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RAW IS WAR // 9:05 PM
“Looking sharp!”
Your compliment makes RVD turn around, shooting you finger guns at the same time. He had his Hardcore Championship around his arms, completely drenched in sweat from his match.
You were going to give him a hug, but he was a little too sweaty for your taste. “You need a towel?”
“Two, probably.” He nods. There are quite a few sitting on a makeup vanity nearby, so you grab two and hand it over as requested.
Seeing him with one title confused you. “You won? Where’s that European title?”
“Yup. They changed the rules a little…Christian didn’t lose his title. I didn’t lose mine either.”
“That’s confusing.” You didn’t get why. Well, if they didn’t want to change it, they didn’t want to change it, oh well. “Whatever. Congratulations!” You cheer.
Again, you’d hug him, but you didn’t feel like changing at the moment. He’s still kinda sweaty!
“Thanks.” He holds his hand up for a high five, and you’re willing to give him one. Woohoo! Hopefully you’d be able to talk to him later. If there’s any tag team match, you’d definitely want him as your partner again.
A couple of minutes later, you find yourself back in gorilla awaiting Trish and The Rock. You were a little earlier than expected, so the Women’s Champion arriving first wasn’t a shocker.
“[Name], you’re early!” Trish chimes. “I’m glad you’re here though. I’m really scared. I hope we can win tonight.”
“I told you, I’ll be here to help! I’ll make it end in disqualification if I have to.” You reassure, taking her hand into yours. “Mr. McMahon is going to get what’s coming to him, I promise. I think his little club is disgusting and he needs a taste of his own medicine……Trish?”
“Yeah?”
“…I’m gonna kick our boss in the nuts.”
Trish couldn’t even respond before she fell into a fit of laughter. “No! Don’t do that. Actually, you’re more than welcome to. You wouldn’t believe the things he’s made me do. Bark like a dog…embarrassed me by dumping guck onto me with Stephanie and William Regal…”
“Don’t even get me started on Stephanie.” You groan. “She’s a witch.” You were lucky enough to have not seen her after your match. “Maybe Chris Jericho was onto something. I mean, bottom feeding trashbag hoe….what a choice of words.”
“You know, you two would be an unstoppable duo if you two became friends.” Trish points out. “I think it’d really work out!”
“Over my dead body. I’m not becoming friends with that egotistic self-absorbed asshole.” You roll your eyes, letting go of her hand.
Trish relents, letting out a sharp breath of air. “..Oookay! Maybe you guys should have a promo going back and forth….”
“You ladies look like you’re having a good time.”
The voice of The Rock makes you look over. You easily give a thumbs up. “Absolutely! Hello, Rocky!”
“….” He doesn’t know how to feel about your little nickname, but goes with it anyway. “Hey. Heard you were on our side tonight. The Rock appreciates that.”
It’s kinda weird to hear him talk in third person, but you roll with it too.
“Of course! I was just telling Trish that Mr. McMahon was gonna get what’s coming to him. You’re gonna win!”
And if luck is on your side, tonight would still be your night.
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YAHHH READER GETTIN IN THE MIX! IF THIS POSTED.. WOOHOO!!! split it up again im sorry but this really was just a test run, sorry if it’s a little all over the place grrr.
anyone down for a battle of words with jericho? im sorry but reader would eat him up so quickly
to make it better. i give you more raven in the next bit. and this time i will elaborate on why triple h gave reader lingerie LMAO
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majorbaby · 1 year
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tl;dr why i talk about race on MASH so much and why i think it's worth doing inspite of the horrors lol and what you can expect from me re: race on MASH going forward
one of the things that drew me to MASH fandom, and one of the reasons i've persisted in it for so is how much meta is generated by smart, passionate fans who were pulled in by the smart, passionate and political writing on MASH, which did all of that while being damn funny.
disclaimer: "meta" isn't better or inherently more ~intellectual~ than fanfiction or squee or fanart or memes or "two-braincell" content. in fact, i think meta can be all of these things, though i'm biased in that i think critical thought relies heavily on one's ability to make connections and pick up on intersecting concepts and i have a hard time reining in my natural tendency to do that, which is why my posts are so long and convoluted - i am working on it.
i wasn't, and still am not, dismayed by the (perceived or actual) void of long-form commentary on race and class on MASH. tbf there are a few people who note these things as they appear, but not really many who centered it in their meta. still, i appreciate at least an awareness.
if anything, it gave me some confidence that i could add something new and valuable to the collective space. that's why i started writing about race on MASH and tagging it as such. and generally, it's been pretty well received, although i'd be open to more people talking about and sharing their views on the subject.
what does bother me though now though, is that i should've known better assuming that there was no angle on race already being espoused and freely adopted by people. the absence of any statements about race is in fact a loud, clear statement on race. the absence of racialized voices in any public discourse is painfully obvious. and tbh, i'm a little surprised by how little the korean-ness of the korean war features in analysis. yes it's true that MASH might've been about "the vietnam war" but that's less of the jump it takes in the later years, when it becomes about "all war" or even more vaguely "all suffering"
it's been pointed out to me in the past that some people think the racism of the later years is "subtle" and - tbh, it's fine to see it that way if maybe you've not been the target of "subtle" racism in your life or you haven't studied the pervasiveness of racism or you haven't consumed the work of people who have done both. but i think it's pretty shortsighted to openly claim that something is "subtly" racist and not be prepared to defend that position with examples, or quantify what you mean when you say "subtle". and i'm not really willing to hear such distinctions being made unless its first been explained to me why we're using a spectrum of "loud to quiet racism".
additionally, the fanbase has been pretty vocal about misogyny. i believe this is a popular justification "start from season 4", which i've talked everyone's ear off about so i won't do it again here*. i'm glad we know that Hawkeye making comments about nurses' bottoms in OR is harassment - but then again, do we know that? Or do we limit our critiques of misogyny to Trapper and Henry only? Do we know that BJ, as of a result of Hawkeye's advice, deciding not to tell Peg about his infidelity is just doubling-down on BJ's betrayal of her? The show definitely doesn't, and it's troublesome to me that we don't seem to know that either, or we do know, and we just forgive it.
*famous last words.
if I'm being exposed to this shallow criticism of the representation of women on MASH, then i'm raising my eyebrows at the lack of commentary on race - which is the other reason why i persist in writing about it. even MASH, with Hey Look Me Over, lightly acknowledges the intersection of race and gender, and the eternal plight of women of colour having to choose between pieces of their identity in order to show "solidarity" with their oppressors - white women and racialized men. so why shouldn't we? and when i say "we" i mostly mean me, but i'd like to properly mean we.
there's other ways we've talked about race without talking about race and not realized it. and there's one very big example that i'm going to address in a later post. i just wanted to talk to myself about why i think it's important and worth doing, beyond any suspicion there may be about my motives being benign stuff that doesn't actually bother me at all. like who's fucking hawkeye post-war or individual people looking to colonel potter as a father-figure. if it were just that, and if there wasn't so much conventional wisdom floating around that bore no connection to unconscious biases we (me included) have about race, class, gender etc, then i wouldn't be interested in unpacking it.
such posts will be tagged #race on mash, #class on mash
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