i hope that the user formerly known as honex-industries knows that their 6 note flop post has been screenshotted, printed out, and taped to the door of my latin classroom

When it’s 2am and you’re reading smut written in Latin about a character from your Latin textbook, it’s time to take a sleeping pill

why did my latin textbook have a more compelling story than half the books i've read? i'm about to fucking cry.

there are 4 modestus/strythio fics on ao3, which is ONE less than cicero/catiline, and now i have to re-read book 2 of the cambridge latin course to see if they’re gay

tempted to post my grumio fanart :///

I have just learned that in the new, 5th edition of the Cambridge Latin Course, in Book 2, King Cogidubnus has been renamed King Togidubnus, "in line with updated research". Life will never be the same. Source below.

Bro today at the strip mall I was with my grandma and saw a snoopy soap dispenser. I was kinda tired and said “hey look, it’s snoop dog” so now she thinks that’s his name and im just waiting for this to catch up to me

Hey. Hey you. C’mere! I have something wonderful to tell you about the  language of Latin, and specifically how it was taught in the Cambridge Elevate Latin textbook.  

Ready?

Ok so in Latin, the diminutive of any word ends in -ulus.  Basically it just adds the word “little” behind the noun.  Best example of this? “homo” means “man/person” (the species, not the gender, that’s “vir”) in Latin. “homunculus” means “little man” in Latin. Which is just a wonderful fact in and of itself. Like c’mon that’s so fun to say. You’re a homunculus. no YOU’RE a homunculus. everyone here is a homunculus. homunculus homunculus homunculus.

But that’s not the best part. Not by a long shot.

So, it’s kinda hard to teach a dead language. You can’t do a lot of conversational skills and learning, because there aren’t a ton of sources to explain how the language was spoken casually. Now, you could just make them read all the super famous Latin texts we have, but those do have a pretty high level of advancement and also happen to be about as exciting to your average high schooler as “explain your answer” math problems.

So, what is a classics course that wants to make absolutely stupendous amounts of money to do??

Well, if you’re the Cambridge Elevate Latin Course, you create one long storyline over the course of four books which goes from “astonishingly heart wrenching familial tragedy” to “surprisingly xenophobic narrative of life on the streets of Alexandria” to “extremely out-of-pocket political intrigue” to “telenovela” faster than you can say “Sed Caecilius non respondit”. None of these stories are particularly well written, but they are much more intense than you would expect of a language textbook for middle and high schoolers.

anyway, cut to my 10th grade Latin class, right as we were beginning the “political intrigue but everyone is a complete dumbass” section of the course. And one of the grammar concepts for that stage was diminutives.  As I hope I’ve already established, the storyline was completely fucking batshit insane. We were used to it. We could handle absurdity, my class could. We reveled in it. So there we were, reading about the British chieftain A who crashed the king’s dinner party with a *partially* tamed bear, in order to kill/maim/severely embarrass British chieftain B, because B had had the audacity to beat A in a boat race. In my opinion, we were taking it with relatively straight faces, all things considered.

But when British Chieftain B called A “homunculus”? 

We lost it. We completely, absolutely LOST. IT. It was one of the best moments of my life.

Anyway, my teacher is switching her freshmen onto a different textbook next year, for SOME REASON, which I frankly think is pretty swagless of her.

Flashback to that time I wrote Cambridge Latin Course fanfic (no I’m not ashamed)

I’m too British 😂

I seriously start learning Latin just for the raven cycle but I wasn't expecting to find out that the Cambridge Latin course has LITERAL FANFICTION on ao3

I was looking up who killed Caesar and there hiding away at the bottom... oml

Caecilius est in horto no more

Caecilius est in horto, but gladius est in caesar

I need to know who posted a fic that is supposed to be 44 chapters and already has 6k words that is a crossover between My Immortal and the Cambridge Latin Course books-

if @gods-favorite-autistic tells me that she ululavit-s on her mentulla till she egue! i’m ending myself

NEVER DID I THINK CAMBRIDGE LATIN COURSE & DOCTOR WHO WOULD HAVE A CROSSOVER YET HERE I AM. YOU SHOULD HAVE SEEN MY FACE AS THEIR NAMES WERE SAID. JAW ON THE FLOOR.

every other language be like “hello! where is the bathroom? i love you!” and latin is like “the cruel farmer savagely decapitated the young boy in the field”

Much blood flows

I'm bored but not bored enough to write a long post, so here's the only Latin sentence I remember from when I took classes in high school:

multus sanguis fluit

It means "much blood flows", and you'd think my Latin textbook would've used this in some cool context (like to describe a gladiator event), but no. They used it to describe razor burn.