#calling my top kin an abuser on there that I'm actually getting hurt and spiralling over it
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#Red rants#red feels fucking horrible part 1000 i guess#it feels like everything i post nowadays gets next no engagement#character art. flops miserably. i post fic. flops miserably. i post oc art. flops miserably#it shouldn't even matter that much but i can feel myself hitting a low again#i don't want to hit a low again! ive been high for six months!#i don't want to feel like shit about myself again!#i just had to block the stupid fucking “he would not fucking say that” tournament blog because so many people are#calling my top kin an abuser on there that I'm actually getting hurt and spiralling over it#i think ive cried‚ what four times? five? all just in the past three days#and ive been sick for the past week and i only feel worse every day. the medicine isn't working. im tired all the time#im sorry for venting so much recently. i'll stop when the low hits. i promise
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