#call center
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Invasion: UFO | 1974
#Invasion: UFO#Gabrielle Drake#Antonia Ellis#Gerry Anderson#science fiction#Invasion UFO#british scifi#UFO#hammersmith horror#SHADO#call center
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#meme#mattsmemes#memes that make you go hmmm#cats of tumblr#cats of the internet#cats with jobs#employed cat#beautiful cat#call center#call centre#black and white cat#working 9 to 5
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hey word of advice from someone who works at a call center for reasons
tone down your info. do not tell us too much.
because what may seem innocuous to you could force us to send it to loss prevention, and from there it becomes a bureaucratic hell. You'll be bounced from one department to the next to the next.
describe the initial issue in twenty words or less, and only answer questions you are asked. do not volunteer info.
straight up most of my calls that end up with people pissed off are where they said something and i had no choice but to report it and transfer them to loss prevention.
less words, my ppl. less words.
#call center#retail woes#9 times out of 10 y'all create your own issues in call center ques because of excess info
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Translating what your coworker in the customer service department said to you:
They said: (Customer) is dedicated to making sure this is resolved quickly.
They meant: (Customer) will not allow me to disconnect this call until we have an answer for them, so I need you to figure this out.
They said: (Customer) advised they are expecting a call back from you.
They meant: This person let you a voicemail a week ago, why the fuck haven’t you called them back?
They said: I advised the customer that you will have to assist them with this issue moving forward.
They meant: This is so far above my pay grade and I have neither the time nor the will to cover the fact that you messed up.
They said: (Customer) asked me to pass along the following suggestion about (thing we do here).
They meant: Here’s some utterly unfeasible and high-key insane “suggestions” from someone who does not understand the logistics of what we do here. I hope you laugh as hard as I wanted to.
They said: I do think it’s important that we bear in mind the timeline we’re working on.
They meant: You’re delusional if you think I’m going to have time to get that done before the deadline that you gave me.
They said: Just a heads up, you’re probably going to get a really weird email from (Customer) pretty soon.
They meant: I was unable to give this person everything they have ever wanted, plus my first born, and $7 billion, so they’re about to send you an email letting you know how Incompetent and Disrespectful I am 🙃
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As a reminder, you should use the NATO phonetic alphabet whenever you are on the phone, and quietly dying inside as you try to spell your name while hoping to God the person on the other end got it right. Rest assured, they are dying on the inside too, and are thinking about how many time they can ask you to repeat your long-ass name which defies most spelling conventions, through your mumbling over the dodgy call center connection.
I hate the military too, but just grit your teeth and get over it, this shit is genuinely useful. Each word is common enough that most English speakers will be passing familiar with the words, they are audibly distinct enough that you don't get G as in Grand versus B as in Brand scenarios, they are short, fairly easy to memorize, yet not so common that the person on the call will mistake them for regular conversation.
Let me tell you, I work in IT, and this is one of my little mantras that I chant to myself during rush hour. Just run through the set, make a note of any that I am slightly hazy on (Uniform is a large offender here), and check the alphabet when I have the moment. I also count up places in binary, but that isn't nearly as useful.
I am begging people, just learn it so we can all standardize. I don't want to hear S as in Stan ever again. Use Sierra like a reasonable human being, and when both parties are familiar, they can just rattle off the letter rapid fire and be intelligible. Ignore this post if your name is something so basic that no one can fuck it up over the phone, or you are so famous everyone knows your name anyway. This is directed to John Smith, Jane Doe, and Joseph Biden.
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SO.
Asked last Friday night after the horrors to discuss OT compensation with the HR rep last week. I was brave about it - I am on salary and according to the handbook I'm exempt.
But I'm still logged in until my last rep signs off at the end of the night, and I was asked to sign in first thing on Saturdays to verify phone lines are working and all the morning shift is logged on. This takes time. I tell her this. I tell her my schedule.
She agrees. She files to meet on Monday.
I tell her sorry, don't work Mondays. I remind her of my schedule.
She apologizes. Books for Wednesday at 3. Perfect. I agree. Wow, that was easy.
She returns an email Monday for which I don't see until Tuesday. Sorry, 4pm is better.
No, sorry, 4pm is my lunch hour and I work the night shift and will not be willing to move that due to coverage purposes in the evening.
She is out sick on Tuesday.
Okay, she says on Wednesday. Thursday at 10am.
I say no. I remind her of my schedule again, due in fact that I don't come in to work until 11. Because of the night shift.
She says on Wednesday, oh, sorry, please submit a time that will work for the both of us.
I say sure. It takes three seconds. I used the scheduling assistant in Outlook. I see she's pretty tightly booked on Thursday. Let's not jam another thing in there. Let's make it easy again and decompress for Friday.
She agrees. We have finally confirmed a short meeting for Friday at 230. Praise. Took all week. Things are looking up.
Friday is here. I sign in.
She sends me a declined invite and an explanation that she's following up with compensation about my question. Once she gets some clarity she'll send me an invite.
#heidi talks#i work at a call center#i mean i should have guessed when she started throwing 10ams at me#she has given herself all week to push this away and off her desk and now#has given herself an unknown timeframe to return to me with a response#in which she will prob toss and forget for later#we'll see how that goes#call center#human resources
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If Wes count, Wes 🤦
Wes gets a taste of his own medicine by dealing with a Karen. 😹 (The call center names and individuals names have been changed, but this is STRONGLY based on a true story from my years as a call center agent.) Here's the link to play!
-
Wes' parents were fine with buying his first (and second) camera. They were fine with paying for the photography lessons (which kept him from stalking observing Danny). They were even fine buying him a (used) ghost-proofed laptop from their neighbor who could no longer use it, on account of being a ghost.
They drew the line at a car. Which he needed, because Fenton was starting to branch out, and if he could get proof, nobody would think he was crazy anymore, and-
Well. Moot point. If he wanted a car of any kind, he had to do the same thing his brother did- cough up half up front, and have a steady job that paid enough for gas, registration, and insurance.
It was, admittedly, a more than fair deal. As long as they didn't have to pay more than $3,000 total, they were fine with whatever car he wanted to buy.
The GAV II from the Fentons cost considerably more than he could afford, but there was a scratched-up used Jeep with offroad tires for sale, which would work. And that led him here: Sunrise Telecom.
Sunrise was a callcenter in what was, decades ago, a large train warehouse. It also didn't care that he was 'that crazy stalker kid'- as long as he did his job well and made sales, nobody gave a damn.
He clocked in, sat down, and opened up the sites he needed. Immediately, the phone beeped with an incoming call. "Thank you for calling Custom Plates, your home for all plate customization needs. This is Wesley speaking on a recorded line, how can I help you?'
"Hi, is this where you order vibrators?"
The- what- what?!?!? "No sir, we customize license plates and sell accessories like bumper stickers and plate frames."
"Oh. Wrong number, sorry."
"That's ok, we get it all the time. Can I interest you in-" Click. Sadly enough, they did get that all the time, though it was Wes' first time hearing it.
The phone beeped again after he added notes and dispositioned. "Thank you for calling Custom Pla-"
"I want to speak with a manager!"
Ah. One of those.
"Okay, ma'am, I'll see what I can do. For now, can you please tell me what's going on? It's company policy to-"
"I don't care! I want to speak with a manager, you little moron!"
He scribbled his manager's name on a small whiteboard amd held it up as the woman started telling him exactly what was wrong with his generation. It was taken from him and returned, with 'she's @ lunch' on the bottom. Oh no.
"Ma'am, I'm sorry but my manager is in a meeting and won't be available for at least an hour. Is this something I could help you with? I can pull up your order for you and see what is going on."
"You stole my money!"
He raised an eyebrow. "If you'll provide me an order number, I'll be happy to give you the status of your order. If something has been delayed further than the originally estimated date, we can offer a partial refund. I do also need to let you know this is a recorded line," he offered.
She hissed, and he fought a giggle. Did she really think that was scary? He was from Amity Park. "I want a full refund, now!"
"We're only able to offer that in specific conditions, and l'll have to look up your order first."
"Let me talk to your manager, you little pissant," she snapped.
He raised the sign again. This time, it was returned with a frowny face. "I'm sorry, ma'am, she is still in that meeting. Is there something I can help you with?" Damn that one-call-resolution company policy!
She shouted and hung up. Finally. He muted himself and started taking notes to disposition.
Beep! Beep!
"Hi, thank you for calling-"
"I swear to God I will sue you if you give me the run around like that last kid."
Wes put his head in his hands. "Hello ma'am, this is Wesley on a recorded line. Our manager is currently busy, but I'll be happy to help you! Can I have your order number please?"
After 5 minutes (he counted) of complaints, she finally provided it. "Thank you, and who am I speaking with?"
"What?"
"I have to confirm the name on the order before I can discuss anything due to privacy laws."
"Karen. Schmidt." The words sounded ground out, but matched the order.
"Thank you, Ms. Schmidt. I'm showing your order was delivered on October 1st, and you signed for it. Was there something wrong with the order?"
"You can't see that!"
Not a denial, he noted. "I am looking at it now, ma'am. Is your address still 718 Crossgrove, Apartment C6, Paulson, Illinois?"
"Yes," she agreed after a moment. "But I didn't sign for it!"
"I can send a ticket to your local post office and make sure nobody signed for you," he said, "and it should take 2-3 business days to hear back. After that, we'll be able to-"
"The plates are broken," she said, and finally they were getting somewhere!
"I'm sorry to hear that! Can you please describe the damage, and if they were already damaged when you opened the box?"
"They've got this black box around them, and you can't see the whole design," she said, "and I'm not paying for broken ones."
Black box? Wait. "Is it shiny, and does it feel rubbery? The black stuff?"
"Yes, it's wrong!'
"Right. So that's just the protective covering. It protects the edges of the plates from damage and cracking. All you have to do is pull it off, and-"
"I'm the customer, you should do that for me!"
Was she asking him to drive an hour away? To unwrap her 'Best Grandma' plate?
"Unfortunately, we're not allowed to do that due to the risk of the edges breaking during shipping. However, it's easy to do, just-"
"Are you saying I'm stupid?!"
"No ma'am, I'm just providing instru-"
"I hope you get fired!"
How mad would they be if he just hung up?
She continued to rant, and he finally interrupted. "Ma'am, on the back there's a tab that says pull here. Just pull it."
She spluttered unhappily. "So?! It came off, I still want my refund!"
"Right. So go ahead and ship it back, we'll send you a label. Once we get the plate back, we can process a 50% refund since it isn't actually broken."
"But I want the plate."
Before he could stop himself, his patience long gone, he snapped, "that's not how Capitalism works. Send it today, we can get up to 50% back. Keep the plate for longer than 10 days, no refund. Keep in mind, it's already been 9."
She spat filth at him and hung up. He took notes and dispositioned.
His manager walked in. "Hey, did I miss anything?"
Wes groaned. Was that what he sounded like to Danny and his friends? An idiot who wouldn't listen to anything?
Beep! Beep!
"Hi, thank you for calling Custom Plates, your home for all plate customization needs. This is Wesley speaking on a recorded line, how can I help you?"
"Do you allow cusswords? I want one that says 'Go fuck yourself, cheating asshole."
"Afraid not, but we can leave a space and you can write in the missing letter."
If he survived today, he was going to be so. Much. Nicer.
#danny phantom#inthememetime#ask game#wes weston#call center#wes deals with a Karen#come ask me things
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The Capture of Bigfoot | 1979
#The Capture of Bigfoot#Bill Rebane#Richard Kennedy#telephone#lol#regional horror#lmfao#lmao#horror#hammersmith horror#prank call#phone call#call center#spam call
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Call centre workers are some of the most superstitious people in the world.
You are NOT allowed to comment when there's not many calls. The word "quiet" is expressly forbidden. If you say "oh the queues are quiet" you will get looks and comments.
It's a strange taboo, but everyone who works in a call centre believes in the superstition, and it's been the exact same at every one I've worked at.
#call center#superstition#trance chat#Kinda funny how everyone suddenly believes in jinxing but only when nobody's queuing#It's actually true though#If you say it then people will suddenly stop what they're doing and call
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Call Center VoIP Solutions – What Are Their Benefits?
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I still can’t get over the fact I got docked points for clearing my throat I swear this bitch hates me LOL
#qa#call center#me#self#face#selfie#personal#myself#blog#blogger#tumblr#post#work#life#help#youtube#instagram
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New Job….?
So as some of you (aka 1 of you) saw on my last post…I got a new job. And quit my old job.
Well….new job kept nagging me over and over to sign their offer letter but wouldn’t answer my question about needing time off within 90 days of hire. So I caved and signed. Then no one would tell me when I was starting…despite me telling them multiple times that I was still employed and needed to give my employer a notice of some kind. So I emailed and emailed….no response. Finally I called the guy who offered me the position. We will call him Danny. He picked up and helped answer my questions. Time off shouldn’t be an issue, he said. He asked if I could start on 6/14/2023….and at the time of our phone conversation it was 6/12/2023. I told him, yet again, that I was still employed and needed to give my notice. He should he would check and call me back. A few hours later he called me back and said I could start 6/19/2023. Ok, that works….but what about work equipment? (Remote call centers typically send you all your equipment before the 1st day of training). He said the first few days were onboarding stuff and all I would need would be a personal device and Zoom. Ok, no problem.
Well, I gave a 1 week notice and leave my job on Thursday 6/15. Ended things fine, no bridges burned or anything. Then me and my husband go to the in-laws for the weekend. I check my email on Friday night, no zoom link. I check again on Saturday...still no link. I check again on Sunday night. No link. I sign into the company website where I've been doing all my onboarding paperwork....and see there is one more document I need to sign. Did I get any type of notification of this? NOPE. So I sign it. After signing said document I see the start date says 6/26/23. A little annoying but ok I can take a week off.
I send an email on Mon June 19 to follow up about my start date. Danny tells me it is not confirmed yet and will update me ASAP. Well Wednesday June 21 comes and I have no update, so I call him. He told me my background check delayed my start and that leadership needs to update him when my start date will be, but the background check is completed. Okay fine. I call again on Friday 6/23, twice, was sent to voicemail. I left a message asking for an update.
I check my email on Monday, 6/26/2023. Guess what? NO LINK.
I checked their onboarding website yesterday, 6/27. Guess what? MY START DATE IS NOW JULY 10! Did I get a call or email about this? NOPE. My goddamn start date has been changed THREE times now.
At this point, I've started applying to jobs. Started applying last week because I just see fucking red flags all over the place. I can't be rehired at my old job because I only gave a 1 week notice.
And yes, I researched the company before signing their offer. I found their website, LinkedIn page and Glassdoor reviews. They have a 3.9 star rating.
Just…what in the ever fucking shit is this bullshit? Because it sure ain’t fucking professional.
Back to applying to jobs. I have all the time in the world to do interviews now. Let’s hope something better comes along.
#job hunting#remote jobs#call center#customer service#inbound call center#customer#customers#managers#minimum wage
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“Hang on, I’ll transfer your call.”
*furiously hangs up in sheer terror, throws phone out of the window into a deep fryer*
“Poxy fucking BASTARD!!!”
#dougie rambles#personal stuff#my poor attempt at a joke#phone#call center#unreality#what#no context#shitpost#deep fryer#spongebob#this sounded funnier in my head#phone call#lies#black books#same energy
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