MIND YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS BURT

auds, i am screaming.

No but, Bee... LISTEN

Imagine Barry is just like, omg omg omg he just moved in AFTER ONE NIGHT and now he's planning a wedding?!

And Brian is sleeping on the floor while Mickey sleeps in the bed every night so like, how bad will this marriage really be??

Then one time while Bernie is on his knees (because Mickey isn't sucking anyone off besides Ian, come on now) Mickey is just like, "Vanilla is fine for a wedding cake flavor, right? Like, it's my fucking day and if I want vanilla people can just get the fuck over it, ya know?" And Brian just gurgles in agreement and Mickey's like, "Yeah, vanilla it is."

So Bart is like, Holy hook-ups Batman, I gotta do something! I'm too vespa-y to get married.

Then, as luck would have it, Ian shows up that night!! Ian! Beautiful, brave, Sir Ian Gallagher. And this happens:

But what happens?? Ian drops the ball! He burns the pie! He adds too much water to the soup and it seems like all hope is lost and Bucky probably crumbles as he watches from the window above. (You know he was up there wishing on a star and breaking turkey wishbones)

Mickey comes upstairs and he goes right to bed, grumbling about stupid fucking redheads and their inability to accept love and Bart is like, SOS to anyone listening I think there's still hope.

And there is because Ian shows up AGAIN with some lame excuse to give Mickey a flannel shirt and here's his chance! Bob invites Ian to listen to live music that night in hopes that he'll be free soon.

But then... Billy Boy messes up! Instead of "playing it cool" He bad mouths Mickey... IN FRONT OF IAN.

And what happens??

But I'm pretty sure Byron would rather be a bruising ex than a blushing bride and honestly thank God.

Cause like... LOOK:

So yeah, MIND YOUR FUCKING BUSINESS BURT

Mickey had it under control 🧡

Forbidden

Chapter 1

A/N- I've teased y'all for so long I hope this series is going to live up to expectations, I'm confident it will though because I'm addicted and it's been super easy for me to write - I'm up to chapter 3 so far so updates can be on time! There's a slight age gap between my professor Hemsy and OC Jess but she's twenty and completely legal. You know this is gunna be a giant tease fest for the first couple of chapters cos that sexual tension is fucking gold 🥵

Summary- Jess meets the man of her dreams and then stupidly leaves without getting his number. Will fate bring them together again?

Word count- 1.5 K

Pairing- Professor!Chris Hemsworth x OC

Warnings- Swearing, age gap

18+ only!

Disclaimer: This is an entire work of fiction/AU and has no affiliation to real life what so ever! This is a fictional story about fictional characters who happen to share names and faces with some real people.

Posted: 5th August 2021

Taglist:- @innerpaperexpertcloud @pandaxnienke @chickensarentcheap @jjpogueprincess @longlostinanotherworld @mostly-marvel-musings @darklydeliciousdesires @monet-belle

@skyfullofsong123 @swaggysposts

Chapter 2

I pulled out a chair at the last available table in the unusually busy coffee shop, I thought I might've caught a break choosing the one outside of campus but alas I was wrong.

I was about to sit down when the chair opposite me slid out from under the table, my eyes lifted to meet with the most sparkly blue eyes i'd ever seen. The sight of him took my breath away. Literally.

I stood staring, frozen on the spot, my mouth slightly ajar as I looked him up and down. He was tall, so tall, definitely over 6ft and built like a dream. Thick thighs straining against his fitted trousers, wide muscular shoulders and I just knew there was a six-pack hiding behind that tight t-shirt. 

"Sorry. You were here first, I'll just grab a take-out." He smirked a side smile, amused at how I was so obviously checking him out but his sexy Australian accent distracted you from anything else.

"It's fine, I'm on my own. I don't mind if you want to sit there too." I mentally face palmed myself, drawing attention to the fact I was alone wasn't the best idea but then again he was alone too. "I don't bite." I added trying my best to flirt.

It seemed to work, he smiled at me as he sat down and I took the time to admire his handsome face. He was quite clearly a lot older than me, the laughter lines around his eyes a tell tale sign but he was still quite possibly the best looking man I'd ever laid eyes on. His hair was fair and the short beard framed his face perfectly but the one thing that stood out the most were those piercing ocean-blue eyes.

"So do you come here often?" I cocked my eyebrow at him over my coffee cup making him laugh at my reaction. "Sorry, it's been a while." He said nervously, running his hand through his hair.

"It's been a while since you spoke to a stranger or…?" I questioned casually.

"It's been a while since I spoke to an attractive woman." He finished, his eyes sparkling as he watched me almost choke on my drink.

"Oh, I err…. I don't think you're doing too badly." I absentmindedly circled my finger around the rim of my cup, crossing my leg over my other and accidently rubbing my foot up his leg. My cheeks felt hot and flushed as I looked up into his eyes and saw him smiling slyly.

"Evidently. We're already playing footsie under the table." He smiled widely, a genuine smile that stretched the corners of his mouth. I smiled back at him shyly, thinking of something to say to change the subject before I ended up looking like a tomato.

"What part of Australia are you from?"

"I'm originally from Melbourne but I lived in Byron Bay before I came to America." 

"Awesome. I've always wanted to go to Australia, the Spiders put me off though." 

"Yeah I think they put most people off but in heavily populated areas they stay pretty much hidden, I think it's the size that scare people." How have I made this conversation go from flirting to talking about spiders? And how do I get back to flirting?

"Are we still talking about spiders?" I raised my eyebrows questioningly and laughed at the innuendo, flicking my hair over my shoulder. I noticed something in his eyes when I did so, a hunger, just a little flash and then it was gone again. I'm sure I didn't imagine it though because his eyes lingered on my exposed shoulders.

I checked my watch subtly, not wanting him to think he was boring me but I had to get to class and couldn't be late again, not when this semester had only just started.

"I'm really sorry, I'm gonna have to run, I'm going to be late. It was really nice meeting you." I gathered up my bags, ready to leave.

"Already? You've only just got here." He looked disappointed, his smile fading. His mouth opened as if he was going to say something else and then closed again when he saw I was ready to leave. "It was really nice to meet you too, hopefully I'll see you again." His eyes sparkled as he looked into mine, standing from his chair to get the door for me. I felt fireworks when his hand brushed against the small of my back and his face lingered close to mine. The tension was unreal, like we were the only people in the room as his eyes hungrily stared into my soul, undressing me with his eyes. My heart stopped beating when his face moved closer to mine so I could feel his breath on my lips, the smell of coffee and his aftershave filling my nostrils. I paused, my feet routed to the spot, I wanted him to kiss me so badly but I moved away at the last minute. Surely he wasn't actually going to kiss me, we'd only just met, that would be ridiculous. Wouldn't it?

********

I spent most of class daydreaming about my tall handsome stranger and the way he looked at me but most of all how I didn't even get his name. Or his number.

Now I was feeling sorry for myself because it would just be my luck to meet the man of my dreams and then never see him again. So I'd moped about all day and avoided the invitations for drinks after class. Instead I'd

gotten home early, changed into some sweats and settled myself in front of the TV for the night.

"What's up with your face?" My roommate, Ellie said as she walked into our room, throwing her bags onto her bed.

"What're you talking about?" 

"Your face. Looks like you're chewing on a wasp."

"Feeling sorry for myself." I pout pathetically.

"Why, what've you done now?" She rolled her eyes, kicking off her shoes and throwing her legs up onto the bed. I felt so lucky to have a roommate like Ellie, during our freshman year she'd become my best friend practically straight away and now after two years together we were practically sisters.

I sat up in bed cross legged and faced Ellie, getting myself ready to spill my misfortunes of the day with her.

"Well, I went to Impresso's this morning to get my morning coffee before class." She nodded, showing her enthusiasm by also sitting cross legged on her own bed, facing me. "And it was packed full of students, there was only one table left. So I went to grab it as soon as I could." She raised her eyebrow at me, wondering where I was going with the story. "And I kid you not, the most attractive man I have ever seen, pulls out the chair opposite me." 

"Oh my god! No way. Did you talk? Oh my god, this is like the perfect chick flick. Carry on." I smiled at her excitement.

"I told him I didn't mind if he sat there, I mean of course I didn't mind, you should've seen him El. Oh, oh, oh I almost forgot" I flapped my hands, bouncing on the spot. "He was fucking Australian."

"Fuck off, you're lying. Drop dead gorgeous with the sexiest accent ever. How is this even real? Now remind me why you're sat there with a face like a slapped arse?" 

"I panicked when I had to leave, didn't want to be late for class and I didn't get his number, didn't even give him chance to ask for mine." 

"Wow! Ok, now I understand. What were you thinking?"

"I wasn't thinking, I was panicking and you know what I'm like when I panic." You sulk.

"It's ok, maybe you'll bump into him again."

"Yeah, right. I should be so lucky."

"Cheer up." she says throwing a cushion at me. "There's a party at Alpha Kappa this weekend, I'm sure we can find you someone to help get over your mystery man. Or under should I say?" She raised her eyebrow at me, smiling slyly and making me laugh. She always did know how to cheer me up and maybe a party is what I needed.

There must be some good looking boys around campus that could make me forget about my Australian hunk. Surely? I thought about the guys I'd seen around campus, the guys I'd seen at frat parties and that's definitely not what I wanted. How could a twenty year old boy match to the masculine, experienced man I met this morning. My mind was set, I'd dipped my feet ever slightly into the mature pool and that's what I wanted more than anything. There was always something missing with previous boyfriends and I was tired of all the game playing. I wanted someone who knew what they wanted and wasn't afraid to get it.

The only thing was, he didn't know I was only twenty and I had no way of finding him again. If fate did bring us back together, would he mind that I was still a student? That I couldn't even drink when we went on dates? 

Who am I kidding? Of course he would mind, he could get any woman he wanted, why would he want me?

S2, E23

"Eye of the Beholder"

CW: Book spoilers

I see more of the "Aria is 'A'" theory, in this episode. I always hated the theory, probably because I don't like Aria, but also because she is literally on screen so fucking much that the plot of the actual story can't move forward. She's too busy making out with Ezra or fighting with her parents to be "A."

"If only we could harness Mona's sense of entitlement, we could light the Eastern Seaboard"- I don't see how Mona's being entitled, here. This was a beloved and memed quote back in the day but what is she taking about?

I guess Alison trusted Duncan if she gave him her real name. Also, this dude had it bad for her. I really wish he had been a bigger part of the story, because his intro here set him up to be a really interesting character. This random guy who obviously cared about her a lot, and apparently to whom she talked so much about her friends that he could identify them. I remember thinking he might have some connection to the Charles DiLaurentis plotline- he does bare a striking resemblance to the family- but no. They just throw him in here to give us something to do and make it look like they're actually going to tell us a cohesive story that will all make sense together. They build him up then let us down. Just what happens when they run out of pre-existing cannon characters to make suspicious and it hasn't been long enough to re-use any of their still-viable red herrings.

I also wish Maya's disappearance was bettet worked into the story. It ends up being it's own random side mystery with no connection to anything, which makes the story more confusing, even if temporarily. It ends up looking like the actress wasn't going to stay on-board for the whole thing and they forgot to write an ending for her until the last possible minute. It seems so rushed and half-assed I don't think they gave it any thought at all. I do realize that Emily's relationships have to have an expiration date if they want to make Emison endgame, and death is usually the default ending when they don't want to villainize either of the characters, but there were things they could have done besides inserting a second "stalker" storyline. I might not be so upset about them deciding to end her life if it at least felt thoughtful. Fun fact: according to the fan wiki, Maya breaks up with Emily because Emily cheated on her.

Does it need to be said that I hate how easy it is to tell whom the writers want us to like in this story based on how they react to Ezria? The Liars have virtually no problem with it besides extremely brief shock- not because they're still highly impressionable teens who are weirdly familiar with "Lolita" but may not understand how it's supposed to be read- rather, because they're the protagonists and we're not supposed to have any complicated feelings about them. Noel? Jackie? Villains, because they were against it. We're supposed to like Ella (I guess) so she has to come around to it. There's no nuance to it at all, the show doesn't even give any credit to the opposite viewpoint.

The more Ezra and Ella interact, the more I wish Ezrella had been a thing.

You can get a pilot's license at 16???

The man who fucked one of his university students, asked his daughter to help him cover it up, and fucked up every last one of them with trauma beyond belief has no room to be accusing someone else of wrecking his family. Was the point of this just to make me hate Byron so much I would want Ezria to go on out of pure spite?

Can literally any of the PLL parents stop being annoying. Mrs. Hastings is going to give me an aneurism.

Jenna Marshall is personally cursed to be in every burning building.

Season 12 but The Master kept pretending to be O??

Basically self-indulgent Thoschei with a twist.

lots of typos bc?? i aint got time to go correct stuff yet? I will later?? 

So Spyfall is resolved, The Kasaavin are banished back to their realm and the Fam and Doctor are clueless as to the true mastermind, Barton taking the fall while the Master continues to pose ad O, having decided he’s enjoying the game of tricking her too much.

Perhaps among their texts they’ve grown close, or perhaps the brief time together in the outback led to events?? ;) But either way, he changes his mind mid plan and continues to act human.

Since he never leaves the message or has the confrontation in Paris, the doctor remains unaware of Gallifrey’s destruction. The fam wait off on asking their questions since she isn’t off with them.

Orphan 55 happens, and while the fam go do their shit, O stays with the Doctor bc admit it, she was like oh ;-; when everyone went to explore. My poor baby. So they hang out together before everything goes to shit, how cute?? Things get resolved, but with the revelation of one of earth’s potential fates, and the potential that the doctor lied about knowing, the fam decide to ask to know more about her. She shares what she believes its true at the time, being born on gallifrey and being a timelord, O looms in the background looking awkward bc he knows none of that is true and he feels horrible keeping the truth from her, it makes him as bad as the rest of the time lords- but he is selfish and he doesn’t want to stop what he’s doing, he’s started to really enjoy her company, its everything he’s ever wanted, every star.

And then it’s ruined when Yaz asks to see her own planet. Blissfully unaware of its destruction, she takes them, and so they’re right there with her when she sees, opens the doors to the rubble, the dying flames- and oh god. The fam are horrified, she’s horrified, O has to fake it, while being utterly glad those nasties are dead- maybe he gets to sneakily comfort hug her??? like she’s trying not to tear up even after that whole shit show of the confession dial, it was her home??so yeah he’s like hugging her but he’s so angry bc they dont deserve her tears?? 

The doctor is off after that, and the fam know why, and none of their words of comfort do much, because sure they’ve just witnessed the death of earth too but that is just one timeline, can be completely avoided, while gallifrey is gone forever, and she believes she’s once more the last of her kind. it hurts.

they visit tesla all the same, and when that big ass scorpion looking alien (bc im sorry i didnt like the episode and i’ve forgotten her name so....) mentions dead planets, she can feel the fam stiffen, as though the doctor is gonna blow at any minute, but she keeps calm, tries to bury the rage, but O can tell, can tell by the way her arms shake, hands clenched into fists in her pockets- and it hurts him to see her like this- the longer he spends around her, pretending to be someone he’s not, he’s just realizing more and more what a dumbass he is and that he’s still as in love with her now than he was all those years ago in the academy- none of the truth will change that-

and then boom the shit show with the judoon occurs and suddenly O is confused af because that Lee guy could ONLY have been him. Who else on gallifrey was stupid enough to hide out with the doctor, marry them and die for them?? him because he’s a dumbass? but he’s a dumbass who definitely doesnt remember this memories?? which theoretically in the doctors timeline should have been sometime after the division? or during? he’s not sure? but to his knowledge he shouldn’t have been alive at this stage? and now he’s not sure what the fuck HIS own life is too? did they take his memories from him too? has he lost part of his life? suddenly the truth doesnt seem as known as he thought- so while the doctor is reeling from the information of Ruth being her somehow? O is having his own mental crisis because what the fuck did they do to him too? what is he missing?? 

praxeus continues as similar as it did originally, O is only the tiniest impressed at Yaz, ever since Spyfall he’d sensed she was the human with the most potential to not be utterly worthless so he’s glad at least one of the doctors latest pets seems to have some initiative?? but yeah i dont wanna change much about praxeus? its not important- except the doctor saying she’s a romantic and the master wants that? wait what- he’s conflicted about his own thoughts? he wanted to break her, destroy her with the truth? but he also just wants to wrap her in his arms? make everything as okay as he can? what the fuck is even happening with him? jsut your usual ‘im a mess’ vibes lmao

when can you hear me? rolls around, it happens in a similar way, i dont wanna get to into it because i dont wanna think too much...the episode was weird, it was just weird-- i cant?? although maybe bc that zellin and the lady whose name i forgot...but they were immortal right?? maybe their species is the doctors species?? huh? huh? think about that- but don’t think too hard bc i hate that theory and i’m gonna pretend i never had that thought- lets just ignore can you hear me even though the end made me cry for yaz bc lol relatable sis, relatable. do whatever you want for this bit fam, idc.

Anyyyyyway. the bit I’m waiting for... Villa Diodati ;) O is ready to smack Byron round the face, fingers itching towards the tce everytime he tries to flirt with the doctor. the lone cyberman appears and wopdie doo earth is going to be destroyed and the doctor is about to do something stupid, thinking there is no other way? the master is like um lol change of plans i dont want the cybermen to win, look how in pain my baby theta is?? i gotta help?? oof? and idk, his patience is like nope all gone? and he whips out his TCE on the lone cyberman and boom. crisis averted? except now the doctor is looking at him in horror and shock and- she realizes who he is then and there, and normally he’d made a big drama out of his, throw in some words, a speech about how easy it was to deceive her, how he destroyed gallifrey- about how he was under her nose this whole time- but he doesn’t, instead he meets her gaze and can barely manage to whisper an “im sorry” and wow shit i wasn’t gonna write that version, i was gonna have feral confrontation but now im stanning a sad master who just needs a hug and some therapy because nothing makes sense, he thought he had everything figured out but he doesnt and he just wANTS HIS FRIEND BACK uiferkghlujkfaghjfkgladhfajkg; i m fine 

i dont know what i wanna do after this point? it could go a lot of different ways?? but thoschei rights bitches. could go angst confrontation and then she abandons him in whatever century that was set bc wow i studied frankenstein in school but i couldnt tell you what century the author is from bc im dumb? 18th? maybe idk that seems likely? or 19th? but anyway yeah or maybe she’s just relieved someone else is alive? or is she shouting for answers or?? i dunno.... but woop ??? 

wow this turned into a big mess but hopefully you can kinda see where i wanna head with things? after this he’d probably show her the truth? i dunno how that’d go down, but he’d be there with her?? But anyway, this idea is free for anyone to write, but holla us a link and I'll give yall a free promo at the end of this post!!

Versions of this that yall Lovelies have blessed us with:

FIRST TIME —

Chapter three

Israel and Erik sat on the patio

Chairs, nodding their heads to the mumbled beat of the music playing inside. The way he stared at her and the way he touched her...god it was driving her crazy. "You look chill as hell." Erik chuckled taking a sip from his cup.

"Whatever you give me got me feeling myself," she replied with a loud laugh following behind finally feeling the Hennessy hit her slowly but surely. She was tippy and felt a bit hazy with her motions. She actually like being tippy it made her feel free and mellow.

Erik licked his lips slowly as he stared at her legs. He swiftly scooted closer to her brushing his thigh against her exposed one, playfully. She smiled and nudged his knee back. Giggling as she did so. "You cute as hell girl." Erik confessed drooping his arms over her bare shoulders. She blushed, turning her head the other way so he couldn't see, even though he wouldn't be able to see her flash red because of the dark pigment of her skin. She let out a quick 'thank you' glancing at him for a spit second. Her heart felt like it was about to beat out of her chest with how close he was to her. "Why you so shy? It's like one second you confident as hell then the next you look like you wanna hide under a rock." He said nudging her again. Israel shrugged taking her bottom lip into her mouth.

Erik straighten his leg out to the last step so he could dig in his front pocket, he pulled out a tiny bag of weed, a lighter and blunt papers.

Israel eyebrows raised as she intensity watch him put the green crummy substance in the middle of the brown floppy paper and rolling licking and running the flame over the blunt to keep it together. He felt her eyes stare holes into his head but, he ignored her as he put the blunt into his mouth. lighting it and taking a drag from it. The smoke fulled his lungs and he became more relaxed.

He almost forgot the young girl was even there until his heard her sniffing the air. He choked out a laugh that made his shoulders bounce as he watched her, with her nose in the air sniffing the smoke almost as if her life depended on it. "Why are you laughing? It smells so good..." She hummed while she closed her eyes, letting the smoke hug around her as he blow it in her face. "You might wanna slow down baby, or you gon' be high as hell and I ain't finna Carry yo ass to the car and shit." He chuckled softly rubbing the ashes from the blunt on the side of the wooden bar. She laughed along with him.  "What's it like being high?" She asked innocently, looking at him through her eyelashes. He smiled at that and asked "You never been high? Damn how old are you?" She was slightly taken back by his tone but nonetheless answered. "What does that how to do with my age? You can be 45 and still never smoked weed before." She argued back.

He leaned back onto the chair making it hit the house. "You never answered my question...how old are you again?" He asked yet again wanting to make sure she wasn't underage.

"You never answered mine but...I'm 18..." she said looking down at her feet. That's damn near underage he thought. But She on the other hand obviously knew that he was way older then her because he looked grown, grown. He had a Mustache and a beard, he was very muscular, bulky and tall. He just didn't look 'boyish' and his attitude was very mature.

"Shit I thought a nigga was bout to catch a case wit' the way yo ass was talking." He shook his head letting out yet another chuckle. She mumbled a Ha before saying "knowing my dad he wouldn't even go to the police, he'll probably kill You himself," he Raised his eyebrows telling her to elaborate a little.

"my dad is very overprotective plus he was in the military so he a little crazy now- which just isn't a good mix..."

"I remember when I was younger I lived next to this cute little boy name Tyler, I used to play with him all day every day until my dad found out, he scared the little boy by showing him his gun and telling him that "if you play with my little girl again, I'll kill you." The little boy cried his eyes out and never spoke to me again." She chuckled softly while kicking a pebble off the stair.

"yo dad sound like a crazy ass nigga damn, low key Sound like some shit I would do, I actually not to many years ago I beat my ex- hoe side nigga unconscious" He evilly grin at her before Continuing his rent.

"Ion play around wit that shit if you my bitch you ain't finna have a thousands of other niggas in yo phone ion care if they just your friends. If I'm fuckin' you then I'm the only nigga fucking You. Period. Ain't no side niggas." He hissed at her almost like they was fucking and he found her 'side niggas' in her contacts.

She stared at him while taking her lip in between her teeth. He grinned, showing off the golden caps he had on his bottom set of teeth. They shined in the moon light almost making her melt into her seat.

He so fine. She thought as she examined his Whole body from head to toe. "You like being spoken to like that don't you?" She raised her eyebrows. "I saw the way you bite your lip when I spoke to you harshly, you like that shit don't you?" He asked her, taking her chin in his hand, Pulling her face to his, their lips just almost touching.

She rolled her eyes pushing his head away from her slightly. "No, get out my face boy." She mumbled feeling herself get really shy and awkward all of a sudden. She was doing so good with not doing that, but of course he had to fuck it up for her.

"Nah don't pretend, you like that shit." he whispered against her lips with humor but she couldn't figure out what was so funny.

her eyes moved up to his with nothing but pare innocence in them. He moved in closer to her face pressing his lips against hers. She gasped but didn't pull away. "follow my lead princess," she melted at the pet name and tried to do exactly what he was doing. His lips moved in a slow pace so she could keep up, his hands ran up her back and right back down to her ass.

He smacked it making she gasped. he added his tongue in the mix while His other hand gripped her neck slightly applying pressure. She moaned and throw her head back and he quickly traveled his slow wet kisses down to her neck, he bit, suck and licked her coco butter scented skin while gripping her thighs and ass tightly in his rough, vain covered hands. She squealed when he found her sweet-spot and he sucked leaving a red-ish mark on the Front of her neck.

Her core wept and screamed for him to touch her but Israel was to afraid to tell him or even hint at him that she was tingling down there. It was starting to become wet and uncomfortable in her underwear so she squirmed in her seat letting out a another Soft "oh my gosh Erik-" he smirked against her neck and peck her lips a few times before backing away from her. She could still feel his lips on her and the taste of his tongue Lingered in her mouth. "You so fucking pretty you know that?" He asked pulling her up onto his lap so she was straddling his legs. her dress raised up and her light pink panties showed from underneath. "Yeah I know but thank you." She said giving him a teasingly smile. She wasn't nervous anymore, she was too far gone to care and far to lost in his lustful eyes. Erik grabbed her drink that sat on the side of her and brought it to her lips. "chug it," he demanded and she did as she was told. Chugging the rest of the dark sweetness that hide inside her cup.

"Good girl," He pecked her lips taking a liking to the taste of Hennessy and pineapple on them. She blushed at the praise. "That's gonna get you loosened up, I can tell you ain't done nun like this you all awkward and shit." She bite her lip as Her cheeks grow hot. Embarrassment washed over her and she screamed at herself to 'act normal'.

He chuckled to himself taking a drag from his blunt. "It's alright baby girl don't start overthinking shit." He said as if reading her mind, He stared into the dark sky only glaring at her for a second before going back to the blunt that was almost gone. His eyes hung low, his breathing calm and his dick hard from the Hennessy. "You trying to leave? I ain't really feeling this whole party thing, to be honest one of my niggas made me come, and a nigga hungry as fuck." she nodded. Just wanting to be around him for as long as she could. she felt desperate for male attention from someone other then her brothers and father, this was different, this was something she has never had before. All in one night she's gotten tippy, kissed and let a grown man grip and grind on her. She was excited for what was going to happen next. it was like she was in a crazy teen flick. "Yeah i wasn't really ether, my cousin dragged me here."

Erik grabbed her hand and pulled her back in the house and towards the front door but she stopped him once she realized that she came here with her cousin. "Wait I gotta tell my cousin I'm leaving." She said pulling away from him to walk towards jasmine who was now sitting on the dark-skinned-bright-white-smile man's lap.

Israel smiled knowingly at her cousin before bending down to whispered in her ear. "Is it ok if I leave? I'm gonna go with Erik." she beamed pointing at him from across the room. He nodded at them before walking over to them. Erik shook up with his friend Byron that jasmine was sitting on. "Wassup bro," he mumbled to the man that was now leaning against the wall. He replied with a noting much.

"Yeah it's ok, I know him plus-" Jasmine leaned in Israel's ear and whispered "I think he trying to dick me down tonight" she squealed and Israel laughed and rolled her eyes. "Ok call me tomorrow and tell how that goes." Israel wink as Erik said his good byes to his friend and started pulling her towards the front door. She stumbled a few times trying to keep up with Erik but it was a little hard with the tall heels she had on. He stopped and looked back at her, he could tell by the look of her face her feet Hurt. He didn't think twice before lifting the girl up bridal style,and resting her arms around his neck. She gasped and hit his chest while giggling. "Oh my gosh put me down, you don't have to carry me!" He chuckled. She hide in the crack of his neck as he unlocked the door to the passenger seat. She finally took her head from his neck when he sat her down on his black lather seat. She didn't noticed until now that the whole car was a shiny golden Jeep.

She gasped and ran her hands across the nice dash bored and seats. "Wow this car is so nice can I have it?" She joked playfully at him. He smirked at her before tossing the keys her way. "Sure if you really want it, I don't drive this one that much," he shrugged. "But In all honestly I would rather like to see yo sexy ass in my all black Lamborghini with the red detailing." He grinned showing off his gold caps.

She rolled her eyes and hummed a 'Mmhm'. She tossed him back his keys and put her seat belt on. He chuckled at her and shut her door before getting in the drivers seat.

"You hungry?" She nodded, Not really listening to what he just said because she was to busy playing with the thingy that she found on the side of her seat. He glanced over to her and grabbed it from her hands. "Why you touching shit?" She pouted but still asked "what is that?"

"You love asking questions huh?" She nodded and as seconds passed she was still looking at the side of his face. "What?" He growled at her. "What is that? A electric pen?" He chuckled.

"That's basically what it is. It's CBD you wanna try it?" He said playfully with a big grin spread across his face. She shook her head, now looking around the ear trying to find something new to mess with.

Erik raised his eyebrow as he watched her go through his stuff on the side of her seat. "Aye cut that shit out ma, damn sit still." He hissed. He grabbed her hands and sat them on her lap and she sat still, doing as she was told. "You seem like the boring meanie type." She snorted. He shrugged while taking a hit from his pen. "And you seem like the bratty 'gets whatever she wants' type." She pouted and crossed her arms very definitely And huffed out a "I'm not but go off." Under her breath, looking out of her window. He heard but decided to ignore her, for her own sake.

They pulled up to a house that looked old and beaten down. Her face scrunch up as her belly growled. "I thought we were going to get something to eat?"

"We are. But imma get my weed first then we came go get whatever you want." He stated before shutting and locking her inside the car for safety reasons. Erik was in and out in less than 10 minutes With a big bag pf weed. Israel was shocked at how much he had chuckled at her and put the bag in his back seat.

"Alright what what you trying to eat?" He asked once they were back in the car and on the road, the radio was on blast with drakes album scorpio, and it was a whole vibe to say the less. The smoke that flow through the air made them both smooth and mellowed out. "Let's get Wendy's! They got the spicy chicken nuggets back." He nodded and turn into the dive through to Wendy's. "What you want? Just the nuggets or a foe for foe?" He asked making her chuckling at the way he said it. "Yeah I want a four for four." She said playfully teasing him. He crack a smile at her before ordering her food.

He grabbed the bag and immediately dug in it grabbed a hand full of fries.

"Hey those are mine you have two burgers." Israel whines trying to reach for the bag that was in his lap. "I bought them tho." He mumbled with a mouth full of fries. Israel rolled her eyes, giggling before snatching the bag of food out of his lap and stuffing the burger in her mouth. "Damn you that hungry?"

"Shut up I told you I was that hungry." He snickered at her before relighting his blunt and taking a drag. "You mean as hell when you hungry you know that? You not you when you're hungry neckass." He said making her spit out her food a little from laughing. "Oh my gush Shut up!" He turn into a Hotel parking lot that was filled with empty cars so that they could eat, twenty minutes after they got done eating they were just talking, Erik sat with a blunt in his hand while he leaned all the back in his seat and Israel sat cross legged with her dress rising a bit up her thighs. Erik couldn't help but to wonder what juiciness laid in between her legs. The weed and sexual music that played In the background was definitely getting to him and he was ready to risk it all.

"Oh my gosh this is my song!" She squealed turning up the radio when one of her favorite artist voice ring through the speaker of Erik's car. BMO by ari Lennox. She began move her hips in a sensual manner while closing her eyes, lip singing along to the song. She couldn't help but to move with the smooth beat.

Erik's hungry eyes couldn't stop watching her in Amazement, he loved the way her brown skin glow from the moon light and the thick shea butter that costed her skin. She turned to face him and sang the words to him softly, with a big goofy smile on her face.

"That bodies on fire

Ooh love me long, 'til you get tired

Ooh baby you got what I (want)

You's a real one, I'm inspired"

Erik shook his head at her before laughing while She kept singing and dancing to the song, paying him no attention.

He dug his phone out of his pocket to check the time.

3:45

"Your parents don't be tripping when you out this late?" She shook her head curling up in her seat. "They don't know I'm out, they really strict And don't be letting me out the house so I snuck out."

"What if you get caught?" She shrugged eating a cold fry from her Wendy's bag. "My dad probably going to beat my ass." His eyebrows raised. "Hell nah you to damn old to still be getting ass whoopings."

"You should tell my dad that." She mumbled. Erik's mind went to the worst but he didn't ask any questions.

"Well we should get you home then."

-

"When can I see you again?" She asked pouting slightly, not wanting to leave him so soon.

"Ion know but imma text you, alright princess?" She nodded. "Alright go get yo pretty ass in the house before yo daddy come out here swinging." He said jokingly, smacking her ass.

"Ok bye Erik." She whined before walking up to the tree to climb up to her bedroom window. Erik chuckled as he watched her struggle climbing to the tree. When she finally made it up and fall inside to her room she quickly popped up and waved at him. He chucked the deuces up before pulling off.

“Great expectations”- modern!Alfie Solomons x reader imagine

The lovely @kingarthurscat​ requested this imagine with the prompt “ you better have a very good reason for waking me up at four in the morning.” with Alfie. Thanks again for the request honey, I had a lot of fun writing this! Hope you like it! 

I haven’t proofread it so I’m sorry if there are any mistakes. Oh and btw, everything mentioned is true. 

As always, feedback and requests are always appreciated!

Tag list: @mollybegger-blog​ (let me know if you wanna be added)

“No way!” you whispered excitedly at what you had discovered.

It never occurred to you that you can literally find anything on the internet. And by anything you mean, the endless content about your latest obsession, whatever it was. You had always been passionate about literature and learned as much as you could about the little things of authors’ lives.

You couldn’t put into words the joy and the bliss you felt whenever you learned something, completely useless academically, but that gave you a better insight about the author personality all the same. For example, lately, you had discovered that Lord Byron vaccinated his children against cowpox or that he named his dog smut which you found incredibly funny seeing that nowadays the word is used to describe scenes of sexual natures, which surprisingly fits perfectly with Byron’s lifestyle. Or that one time Shelly wrote a letter to Keats worried about Byron’s mysterious disappearance and then wrote a follow-up letter in which he explained that the Lord had almost died of dehydration and malnutrition because he was too engaged in other activities, if you what I mean. Keat’s answer was the best thing though, he basically told Shelly that he should have left him there. The three most famous poets argued like petty girls in high school and you loved it!

Not to mention all the stuff you learned about Greek Mythology and Etymology which were somehow deeply related.

However, what sent you into pure bliss as of right now was the sudden realisation that no one really knew about author’s voices, which sounds like an obvious thing but somehow that never occurred to you. No one knew about Byron’s or Keat’s or even Plato’s voices. What if they had a funny voice? Or like a lift or something? Wouldn’t be absolutely ironic if someone like Plato who is so snob and racist have a shrill, high-pitched voice? That would be karma’s doing but much to your dismay there was absolutely no way to know. Imagine how upsetting it would be to find out that someone like Lord Byron whose name alone is enough to send you shivers and was able to be a token of his status, who you had always thought to have a very deep, husky voice that it must have been one of the reasons why people of both sexes found him so irresistible had instead a strident or thin voice? That would be mindblowing. As it was the fact that if Oscar Wilde had lived just a little longer maybe we would have registrations of his voice. How cool would that be?

This were the little things you lived for. It’s unusual, you’re aware of that. For that reason, you had always been very careful in sharing this interest with the people in your life. Some of them shared the same excitement, to your surprise; others didn’t really care for it but usually smiled politely just not to upset you. You’d always understand when someone was on your same wavelength but were grateful nonetheless that you were lucky enough to have supportive people in your life that even if they found you weird were kind enough not to tell you.

When you first started dating Alfie, you never really let him on this unusual hobby you had. Sure, he knew about your love for literature and reading but that was it. It was only after the first month that you had gradually initiated him to it to see what his reaction was. At first, you justified your discoveries by saying that your teacher had said them or that you had read them in the book you were studying, which sometimes was the truth. Letting him know that that was exactly what you spent your free time doing and sometimes even the time you should be sleeping or studying was a whole other thing.

Over the dates you had been to, you had found out that Alfie was quite the intellectual. Despite his rough exterior he had read his fair share of books and was very passionate about literature. That was one of the things that had attracted you to him, to be honest. Your head was saying that you should go ahead and share this new piece of information you had found casually, without making it too much of a thing. If he wasn’t as excited by it as you were then in the worst-case scenario you wouldn’t share those kinds of things with him anymore and in the best case, he’d enjoy hearing it just because he loved you and he would appreciate every little thing you shared with him. Just like you’d listen to him complain about work problems or over the difference between rum and bread which apparently wasn’t discussed.

So tonight, you let your enthusiasm carry you away and called him to share the realisation that had hit you. Currently, Alfie was in the USA for business reasons. Something about making a deal with a potential partner which would allow him to expand his rum overseas. However, that didn’t register to you until you were met with his sleepy grunt and the blackness of his room.

“Y/N?” his raspy voice was the only thing you could hear along the sounds of him shifting in the sheets. When he called you last time he had told you that he would leave his phone on so that whatever happened you could call him. He wasn’t expecting you to actually do it though.

“Oh shoot. I forgot about the time difference Alfie, I’m sorry. Go back to sleep, this can wait until later.” you quickly apologised

“What is it?” he ignored you and moved around so that he could turn on the light on his bedside table.

“It’s really nothing babe, I’m sorry. I got carried away from the excitement and forgot you were in the States.”

“Well now I’m up, ain’t I? So you better have a very good reason for waking me up at four in the morning,” he said rubbing the sleep from his eyes finally letting you see his face. Gosh, how could he be so handsome when he literally just woke up? You really were lucky.

“So, I was wasting my time on the internet like I usually do until I came across a post that left me shook.” you started explaining

“So far this doesn’t seem like a good reason to wake me, love,” he muttered but you could see it from his eyes that he didn’t really mean it. To be fair, only the fact that he didn’t tell you to go to hell and actually was ready to hear you out got him the “best boyfriend of the year” award.

“It wasn’t a normal post, Alfie. Hear me out. Have you ever thought about how we have never listened to the voice of the most famous poets of all times?” Now it was out and it was time to study his reaction.

“That- well I’ve never thought about it pet. That’s weird, innit?” The gods were smiling upon you and had graced you with the most fantastic human being in the whole world. He had actually stopped to think about it before answering you and had a face of utter surprise just like you had when you first read the post.

“You know what’s even more mind-blowing? The fact that if Oscar Wilde had lived a little longer we would have known his voice? Now how cool would it have been?!” By now you weren't sure anymore if your enthusiasm was for the fact itself or for how much you loved and appreciated the man laying on a bed on the other side of the planet.

“Fuck, that really would have been cool. Is it because he died in the 1900s?” he asked engaged with the conversation just as much as you were.

“Yes! I did a little research, right? And I found out that first gramophones were being patented in that time. So ten years or so later and now we would have known his voice. What an unfortunate series of coincidences.” you shared his feelings and what you learned with him.

“What?” you asked when you noticed that he was staring intently at you without saying anything. He had a little smile on his face and the intensity of his gaze was actually starting to make you feel self-conscious.

“You really are a geek, aren’t you love?” he asked and it was one of those rare times where the word was told with affection and not with scorn.

“I guess so.” you timidly admit. Love wasn’t the only thing you could see in his eyes, there was also a lot of tiredness.

“I love you, Alfie, thank you for listening to me even if I interrupted your beauty sleep.”

“Don’t even say it, love, you can always count on me. Even if it’s to share something like that at four in the morning.” he snickered lightly but behind his words was the unspoken promise that whatever it was you could share everything with him and that almost made you cry of happiness.

“Well, I promise I won’t do it again. I mean the four am part. Go to sleep baby, I’ll see you tomorrow right?” you softly said.

“You will pet. Goodnight, well I guess it’s a good morning now. I love you.” his sweet words were the last one you exchanged before hanging up.

Well, that had gone way better than your greatest expectations.

KAT’S DAY6 YOUTH TOUR HIGHLIGHTS:

- oh god I don’t remember anything

- ok so dowoon looks beautiful with his blonde hair

- I forgot what song it was probably what can I do but Brian was playing the bass and it literally vibrated my body and I was like wtf is happening

- my mom said wonpil looked really tired like most of the time his face was pretty neutral but towards the end he was he happy pili we know

- jae went and hung out with dowoon for a bit cause I guess he thought dowoon was a lil lonely

- dowoon’s face when jae came over was so cute he was so happy

- FUCKING YOUNG K KEPT BODY ROLLING LIKE CALM TF DOWN BOI

- jae and sungjin hella headbanging together super cute

- yoooo they literally sang nonstop and kept the energy up the whole time I was like wtf howwwww

- yoooo LA mydays are fucking amazing they

- Jae was like ok for the next song I won’t sing my part you guys have to sing AND WE FUCKING KILLED IT AND JAE WAS SO IMPRESSED WITH US FUCK YEAH

- oh yeah byron sat in the balcony and these girls near me were like “BYRON OPPA SARANGHAE!!” fucking died

- Jae and Brian were so fucking extra with the notes for their parts and I was like please let me live

- towards the end jae went into the audience and he’s super tall I saw his head clearly over everyone and then he went up to the balcony probably to see Byron and his sister

- then all the other guys came out into the audience and I could barely see wonpil that guy is short

- The staff were trying to find the boys to guard them but couldn’t find them and it was hilarious

- wonpil said that jae was nervous to perform and jae like almost walked off stage and we thought he was crying so we’re like “NOOO DONT CRY” but turns out he was just embarrassed

- for the encore sungjin came out a little late and all of us were like WHERES SUNGJIN and started chanting his name and he came out all confused at why were we chanting his name

- dowoon came out from his spot behind the drums and we were all like DOWOON DOWOON and he was all confused like y’all I just walked out why are you cheering he’s so fucking cute

- Ok onto the picture my mom and I were in the middle and sat in front of jae and dowoon

- y’all...their heads are kinda big

- young k’s eyes are so pretty

- and wonpil is kinda short we’re eye to eye lmao

- overall DAY6 WAS FUCKING LIT THE LAST SECTION WHERE THEY PLAYED I WISH, FREELY, AND 2 OTHER LIT SONG I FORGOT I WAS SO HYPE DUDE i love them

Drunk and Jealous**

Request: Y/N kisses another girl to make Joe jealous.

SMUT WARNING**

You let out a long breath as you stood in your wardrobe, searching for an outfit to wear out tonight. You weren’t too keen on going out tonight but after Joe insisted on going and you wanting to actually spend some time with him, you agreed. After minutes of staring, you finally chose a dress and threw it on.

“You look good.” Joe said from behind you as you sat touching up your makeup.

“Thanks.” you said looking up at him in the mirror.

“Don’t get too excited love.” He said sarcastically as he sat down on the bed.

“I just don’t see why we have to out, that’s all.” You repeated the sentence he’s heard all day long.

“Babe, we never go out…” He groaned laid back on the bed.

“What are you talking about? You went out last week.” You said digging through your makeup bag for some lipstick.

“I said we love. We never go out...as a couple. And don’t say we do because going to dinner isn’t going out.” He said before you could counter his statement.

“I just don’t see why we have to…” You mumbled as you pouted to apply your lipstick.

Joe sat up and walked over to you, watching your actions in the mirror in front of you.

“You don’t even wanna go out with me, you just want to hang out with the boys who are the ones who are going out.” You raised an eyebrow up at Joe.

“I haven’t seen Benji or Byron since Christmas love!” Joe said before leaning down to kiss your cheek, “Are you ready?”

“I suppose.” You said lazily as you shoved your makeup back into the bag.

>>>

“I’ll have another.” You said to the barman setting your empty glass on the bar.

“Wow, I’ve never seen a girl down so many drinks so quickly before.” A voice said to the left of you.

“It’s needed.” You said glancing over at the girl who was sitting at the bar.

“Well in that case, it’s on me. And I’ll take another as well please.” She said to the barman with a smile. “I’m Natalie by the way.”

“Y/N.” You said pulling out the stool that was tucked under the bar.

“So, who’s the guys who making you need all these drinks?” Natalie laughed.

“My boyfriend. He dragged me out of the house because his mate from South Africa are in town and he couldn’t say no to a night out.” You told her, “He’s over there with them now, probably hasn’t even realized I left.”

“His loss really, you’re a pretty girl.” Natalie smiled.

“Thanks.” You said after talking a large sip of your drink. “Why are you sitting at the bar all alone?”

“Oh, I was here with my friend but she left with some guy. Thought I’d stick around a bit longer and see if I could get myself a free drink but it looks like you took that card.”

“Hey you offered!” You laughed, “But the next one's on me!”

“Oh no, it’s alright. This is my last one.”

“Another time then.” You smiled before the both of you took a sip of your drinks.

The two of you sat a talked until your drinks were nearly gone and you could start to hear your words slurring together.

“Alright, I think I need to stop,” You laughed pushing your drink away from you, “but…I don’t think I can go home yet.” You said glancing over at Joe and the rest of the boys.

You were right when you said you didn’t think he had noticed you were gone, the only one who seemed to have noticed was Oli as he gave you a quick wave before turning back to the boys.

“Which one is he?” Natalie asked as she followed your glance.

“The one in the leather jacket, never leaves the house without the bloody thing.” You said grabbing your drink and seeing it off.

“Well if you want to go home, I think I may have a way to make that happen.” Natalie said with a slight slur in her voice as well.

“And what’s that?” You asked looking at her.

“First we need him to look over here.” She said.

“Good luck with that.”

“What did you say his name was?”

“Joe.” You told her.

“Joe!!” Natalie shouted, giggling to herself after every head turned towards her direction, “Whoops. That was a little louder than I thought it was going to be but hey, it worked!” She said seeing Joe look towards your direction.

He gave you a quick smile, happy, you guess, that you found someone to pass the time with tonight.

“Right now what-” You started but were cut off by forceful hands that cupped your face and pulled your eyes away from your boyfriend. The next thing you knew, Natalie’s lips were smashing against yours.

You were slightly alarmed by the situation but didn’t pull away, instead you kissed her back. The kiss lasted a while longer, as your mind went a little fuzzing and you forgot what was happening for a moment. When you pulled away, Natalie was smiling before she gave you a wink and hopped off the stool.

“Don’t worry about that drink, have fun night.” She said before heading for the door.

You sat at the bar, confused as to what had just happened when you were startled by an arm on your shoulder.

“What the hell was that??” Joe asked.

“Um, I have no idea really. Can we go home now?” You asked him.

“Yes because I’m having very mixed feelings about my girlfriend making out with another girl.” Joe said pulling you off the stool and out of the bar.

Once outside, Joe quickly flagged down the first taxi he saw as you glanced back at the bar, seeing Natalie standing against the wall with a smirk on her face. You mouthed the words ‘Thank You’ to her before Joe guided you towards the taxi.

You had no recollection of the car ride home, all you remembered was the feeling of Joe’s lips on your the moment you settled into the taxi. That and the feeling of emptiness when Joe’s lips left yours as the car came to a halt outside his flat.

“C’mon love.” He said grabbing your hand.

You followed closely behind him to the elevators where his hands were all over you before the door had even close.

“Joe, you better hope there aren’t people on our floor waiting to get on the lift.” You said as his lips found your neck.

“You better hope love.” He said against you skin.

Luckily your floor was sound asleep as the lift doors opened. The two of you hurried across to the locked door, your hands feeling themselves under Joe’s tshirt as he fumbled with his keys.

“Hurry babe.” You whispered in his ear as your hands made their way further down his stomach.

Joe finally pushed the door open and quickly locked it behind you while the both of you quickly shredded the clothes from your bodies.

You giggled to yourself as you watched Joe struggle to keep his balance as he attempted to pull his jeans off over his shoes. When he finally got one pant leg off, you quickly made your way up the stairs in your underwear, ignoring your name he was calling as he watched you leave.

You ran your hands messily through your hair when you found yourself in the bedroom. You made your way to the bathroom, grabbing a makeup wipe and quickly wiping off the remnants of your lipstick when Joe finally made his way into the bedroom.

His hands instantly found your stomach while his lips kissed the space between your neck and shoulder, his harderend length that was no longer covered by with boxers poking against your bum.

“Good thinking love.” He said as he pushed your bra strap off your shoulder.

“Lipstick is a bitch to get out of white sheets.” You smirked before turning around to face him, your lips smashing together.

Joe’s hands moved to your back to unclasp your bra before helping you hop up on the countertop.

“Right here?” You asked against his lips.

“Just for round one love.” He said as he began kissing down your chest, your own hand reaching down to find his length.

You felt Joe’s hand move towards the fabric on your hips which you helped him get rid of. He lifted one of your legs up against the counter you were sat on before he gave himself a few pumps with his hands and lining himself up with your core.

Your head rolled back and you gripped his shoulders as he pushed himself into you and began thrusting quickly.

Joe steadied himself with his palms flat on the counter as you wrapped your legs around his torso, your heels digging into his lower back, pulling him closer into you.

“Fuck Joe!” You moaned out as you let your head fall onto his shoulder as you hugged him closer to you, leaving no space in between your heaving bodies.

“I didn’t know the sight of my girl kissing another could turn me on so much” Joe growled as he pushed his lips into yours.

“Natalie really knew what she was doing then.” You said with a moan as your head fell back again.

The pit in your stomach was settling in with each one of Joe’s thrusts and it was getting harder to hold everything in. You let out another low moan as you bit down on your lips and screwed your eyes shut. You slowly felt yourself tighten around Joe as he thrusted harder into you before pulling himself out.

“We’re not done yet love, we’re far from done” He growled as he ran two fingers up your wet slit causing you to moan again.

He moved his fingers to his mouth, licking ever bit of you off of them before pulling you down from the counter.

“It’s going to be a long night love. Teach you not to make me jealous out in public.” Joe said as he pushed you onto the bed.

“I wasn’t trying to make you jealous, I just wanted to go home.” You said innocently as he crawled on top of you.

“Mhmm. You thought I didn’t see you leave to go get another drink, a little annoyed that I was talking to the boys all night.” Joe said in between the kisses he left on your stomach, “I do notice you Y/N, even when you think I don’t. You’re actually always on my mind believe it or not.”

“Sure.” You said before you felt your breath catch in your throat as you felt Joe’s breath hovering over your core.

“I do love. That’s how I knew what you and your new friend were planning before you did, although I didn’t think you’d kiss her back. I was shocked needless to say, but it was hot.” Joe smiled as he spoke.

“I wasn’t trying to make you jealous but I’m kinda glad you did.” You said looking down at him.

Joe flashed you his signature grin before moving himself back to your core, where he lost himself the rest of the night.

Kid Brother III

Finally gotten it up, I rewrote this so many times but I'm enjoying building up the story :) Part I

Friday was not going as planned. For starters, I woke up late and had to rush to work which meant I was late for my meeting and barely signed on the client I had been trying to recruit for the last two weeks. Just barely. When Joe texts me in the afternoon, my mood is automatically uplifted.

"We on for tonight?"

"Most definitely on," I text back.

"What you smiling at?" Kendall, my assistant asks.

"Nothing, just a friend," I say casually.

"Ooh," she sits on my desk. "A boyfriend?"

"Ugh no," I turn towards my laptop so she doesn't see me blush. "Just an old friend-he's invited me out and lord knows I need to unwind after this morning's shit show."

"Do I know him?" Kendall was really good at her job. Otherwise, she was too nosy.

"Joe, his sister's been around a couple times." I roll my eyes to myself.

"Oh my gosh your Youtuber friends?" She moves in closer as if I'm gonna drop their contact info into her lap. "He's a cutie! Totally dateable."

"What are we chatting about," my friend Shannon slides a coffee to me.

"Oh you're an angel," I give her a gracious smile-she was intentionally saving me. We both talked shite about Kendall on more than one occas.

"Have you met Y/N's Youtube friends?"

Shannon glances at me and I stifle a laugh, "Love, give it a rest. She isn't going to introduce you to Joe and you aren't going to have his babies."

"I didn't say that!" Kendall exclaims.

"You really didn't have to." Kendall rolls her eyes and goes back to her station. "Thanks for swooping in."

"Now you owe me, next time Charles starts chatting me up in the photocopy room you're claiming a girl emergency." I shudder, "I would do that regardless."

I rush home after work and heat up leftovers while finishing up my work. Joe said to meet him at a pub not too far away. He extended the invite but all my friends had partners they would rather spend their Fridays with. I only retouch my makeup and switch my lipstick for something more sultry. slip into a black halter dress and tease my hair towards the front.

"See you soon," I text Joe at 8 after making it to the station. He sends me back a heart and my own skips a beat.

Not cool, I scold myself. He's Zoe's younger brother and I really had to hook up with someone tonight so I could get over this weird flame I held for him. I didn't wanna be that girl but the truth was he had a plethora of girls his age and he never showed any sign he could be into me. Plus it would complicate things.

The tube doesn't take long and I reach the bar soon after. "Y/N, is that you?" Joe asks sarcastically as he spots me before I do in the dim lights. "I'm seeing a mirage boys, that can't be Y/N!"

"Oh stop it," I lean in to give Joe a hug.

"These are my mates, you've met Caspar and Byron when you dropped by the house that one time?"

"Hey," I wave at the two boys. Byron I definitely remembered, he was cute but I knew that all of Joe's friends were younger than him.

"Josh and Conor are getting drinks-that's Jack and that's Mikey."

"A lot of names," I laugh. "But I should remember them all."

"Joe you didn't even give us her name," the one with the beer-Mikey says.

"I'm Y/N," I say not waiting for Joe.

"Lovely to meet you Y/N," I could tell Mikey was trying to be smooth and maybe he did have something going for him but once again, too young.

"You getting a drink right? I'm paying on this honorable night," Joe jokes.

"I can get my own!" I say.

"Alright boys," a voice directly behind me yells out. "First round is on me."

I recognise Conor because I actually listened to his music but the boy with him makes me freeze.

"Josh?" I ask.

The tall ginger glances at me and is about to look away but he stops. "Y/N?"

"Oh my god!" Josh puts his drinks down and bends down to give me a hug. This was so unreal.

"You two know each other?" Joe sounds suspicious and I blush as I realise we would have to explain how. I was ready to lie but Josh forges ahead with the story.

"Yeah! We went out on a couple dates-"

"You two dated?" Caspar interrupts.

"Wait," I turn to Josh after the realisation hits me. "You told me you were 27!"

"Did I?" Josh's face turns a deep shade of pink as all the boys around us start to rile us up.

"Oh my god how old are you?!" I could not believe this.

"He's 24," Joe tells me. My jaw drops, I slept with someone four years younger than me?

"Josh!" I hit him with my clutch and he lets out a nervous laugh.

"I'm sorry! Honestly I didn't think it was a big deal! It's not like you got back to me!"

"Oh course it's-oh my god you're four years younger than me Josh!?"

"It's not like the two of you slept together it's just a few dates," Joe tries to diffuse the situation but we both go very silent.

"Oh my god," Conor bumps his shoulder into Josh. "Did our son here sleep with a woman?"

"I am right here!" I glare at Conor, mortified. This was the worst first impression I have ever had. I look to Joe, realising how awkward this must be but his jaw is clenched shut and he's looking at Josh who's looking back at him with a nervous expression.

"Let's talk," I grab Josh's arm, maybe a little too aggressively as he yelps

"Y/N honestly I didn't think it was a big deal! I was gonna tell you on our next date." Josh explains.

"Josh I feel like a cougar sleeping with somebody four years younger!"

"It was only twice," Josh mumbles. "And you didn't even get back to me so what's the big deal?"

"Oh gods," I grab his shoulder. "I just realised-I'm still angry at you-but I'm sorry I genuinely was not ghosting you!"

"What?" Josh asks confused.

"After our last date? When you left my place right, I dropped my phone in my sink and it was bad! I have a really demanding job and I couldn't get all my new contacts. I tried to find you online but I guess I misspelt your name or something cuz I never found you!"

"Surely I've been on Joe's Instagram," Josh says.

"I haven't updated that in ages, I'm too busy! Gods what a small world!"

"Boys!" Josh yells to his friends. "Remember that girl I was hung up over I said she probably ghosted me because she didn't like gingers?"

"Is that her?" Jack catches on.

"Yeah! But she damaged her phone, with my number on it," Josh repeats my story smugly and I look on in disbelief.

"You thought I ghosted you because you were ginger? I'm not that shallow!"

"Hey it's happened before," he shrugs.

"Wait Y/N," Joe says. "Is he the guy you were going on about after you got your new phone?"

"See!" I look at Josh. "Yes! I was upset I had lost your number!"

"Wait all those things you said were about Josh?" Joe repeats.

"Ooh la la what things?" Josh mocks which makes me laugh. I forgot how easily he made me do that.

"Yeah but he's 24," I try to remind myself too.

"So what?" Some of the boys ask.

"Age is just a number," Caspar pipes in.

"I guess," I say, not wanting to argue.

"So would you still be going out with him if you didn't lose his number?" Mikey asks.

I think about it, "I dunno,." I shrug.

"Oh mate," Mikey shoves Josh a little too hard and he spills over onto Joe who spills his drink on the floor.

"Josh what the fuck!" Joe errupts.

"Mikey how many times do I have to tell you to stop pushing so bloody aggressively?" Like dominos Josh turns his anger to Mikey.

"It's not my fault you're so scrawny mate," Mikey looks unbothered but his face flushes. This was getting awkward.

"Joe let's grab that drink," I call out.

"I think I'm alright," Joe is aggressively dabbing napkins on his trainers and he doesn't even look at me. I glance up and see Conor and Jack exchange a glance. Josh looks upset and I make eye contact with Caspar. He gives me an apologetic look and I huff.

"Well so much for a night out," I storm past the crowd and head for the entrance. As I make it to the streets somebody grabs my arm. Thinking it would be Joe, I turn around, prepared to give him an earful because the truth was tonight was embarassing and taking his anger out at me in front of his friends was just humiliating.

Instead, my gaze looks up to Josh who looks at me with shining eyes. He moves closer to me and my breath catches. "Just stay for a few drinks."

I look into his eyes, he was a great guy but after my last serious relationship with a younger guy who was manipulative by making me feel sleazy for dating someone younger, I promised myself I would never do that again. That's why I refused to give in to any romantic feelings with Joe. But Joe, then Josh-made my rule feel pointless.

"Oh," a familiar voice cuts the moment short and I look to see Joe hovering near the entrance. "Sorry," I've known Joe long enough see he's upset.

"Joe," I call him as he turns away. "I'll be back in in a mo'," I give Josh a smile and he steps back into the club, not making eye contact with Joe. Joe, on the other hand, looked like he could kill him.

"What's up Joseph?"

Joe combs his hair away from his face and shoves his hands in his pockets. "I'm sorry I didn't mean to snap at you."

"I wish you hadn't but that's alright-I think we've had worse fights than that." I joke about some of our childhood arguments. "I'm sorry too. I honestly had no idea Josh was your friend or I wouldn't have gone out on a date with him in the first place," I promise.

"It was bound to happen, all my friends are bloody better looking than me so it makes sense," Joe's attempt at humour falls flat as his expression gets stormy.

"I really hope you don't actually believe that," I say. "I mean he's way younger than me so I don't think there's anything between us-"

"Y/N you need to get over that experience." Joe interrupts. "Look at Zoe and Alfie."

"They're different, they work!" I try to defend myself but Joe's not having it. "So what are you trying to say? You want me to go out with Josh?"

I don't know why I asked that. I wanted Joe to say no even though rationally, I knew that would never happen. My weird crush on Joe was not reciprocated and dating him would mean if anything went wrong things would get awkward. Especially since Zoe was my best friend.

"You can do whatever with Josh," Joe mumbles. "That's between you two. I'm just saying don't write off all guys because they're younger." The sentence is charged with a weird vibe and I watch Joe as he says it. He stares intensely at me, like he's trying to say something else as he speaks but I can't read him. I kiss his cheek thanks, Josh and I were adults. If we wanted to have some fun, it shouldn't matter. I really did need to get over my age phobia-but not when it came to Joe. That remained in place.

Joe grabs my hand before I go in. I watch his throat bob up and down as he swallows. "I just want you to be happy," he says. His serious tone is so uncharacteristic that I step back towards him.

"I try." I say truthfully. "Recently that's been harder to find though." I joke but it falls flat. Joe's hand still holds mine and he brushes his thumb over my knuckles. I feel a stirring in the pit of my stomach so I detach myself from Joe. Immediately, Joe grabs my hand again and pulls me in, placing a kiss on my forehead. I close my eyes, allowing the small moment of intimacy before stepping back once more.

"I'll see you soon? Maybe we can make up for today, tomorrow?" Joe asks as he walks backwards into the street.

"Sounds good," I avoid eye contact. I wave goodbye and head back inside where Josh already has a drink waiting for me.

I deeply want to know the stories behind all those jokes, especially the last one.

Oh m god let’s see what I can do o o o….Tonight on “Don’t Explain the Joke, Currie!”

My first D&D campaign - the one with Byron the goofball bard - was full of dads. Two PCs had surprise dads, two PCs WERE surprise dads, and one had an quasi-evil non-surprise relevant dad. Byron had like four dads. We had a non-binary changeling in the group who was both a mom AND a dad. It got fuckin real with the dads. And we also ate Dad’s cookies every session so - brought to u by dads

“HERO TIME” is Byron’s catchphrase and “BYRON NO” is his girlfriend/wife Narila’s frequent response to it, delivered in a delightful scottish accent. :P I forgot that those two later had red-headed wolf babies which was kind of another meme. WHEN WILL WE GET OUR RED-HEADED WOLF BABIES, DM??

“We don’t roll dice we leave it up to chance!” was a wonderful nonsensical quote from another player in that campaign, who didn’t realize how paradoxical that was until we all pointed it out. I’ve completely forgotten the context but we never let her forget that one :P

The next three were from my campaign with the Master’s students at mlab. Our heavily anime-inspired anti-hero warlock got charmed by a dryad - a dryad that one of the other players almost immediately incinerated. Cue a heartbroken scream of TREE WAIFU NOOO!!! That same group also tried to break into a palace by climbing over a wall iN THE MIDDLE OF TOWN IN THE MIDDLE OF THE DAY, and then when I said “a bunch of guards are coming. u dipshits”. The rogue turned around with “WELCOME TO THE GRAND SHOW!” and a nat 20 deception check. Then they put on a pretty believable carnival performance and got away with their break-in SO THAT WENT WELL. And Sharkules (pronounced like Hercules, but with sharks) was just…beautiful. He was a gnome paladin with I think three different negative skill modifiers, including intelligence. He was incredibly heroic and did the dumbest things all the time, and he stole a blue chicken and named it Chickules, and rode around on a giant cat and….we just…we all loved Sharkules.

Canadian DND was from a one-shot I did with my family, @mischief7manager and @impossibletruths this spring. Those two tumblrites are from Amurrica, and I’m Canadian. Mischief had an alchemy jug, but I didn’t know how it worked b/c all the measurements were in gallons, so they thought that was funny, but I think they got even more of a kick out of the fact that my mom and sister were watching hockey while we played and I periodically stopped them to check the score.

ANNNNNND the last one was from that first campaign, featuring Byron the Bard putting his greatest talent (his incredible indisputable sexiness, signified by the kind of stupidly high Diplomacy skill you can only get in 4th edition) to use. We were dungeon-crawling and came across a Yuan-Ti snake lady. We weren’t too tired but we were a little banged up, so I started wondering aloud if we should make some kind of a deal to get past her. I suggested that perhaps I could maybe…..exchange some favours, which everybody (including my in-game father, my in-game girlfriend, and my out-of-game girlfriend at the time) encouraged. Thus it was agreed, Byron Must Fuck the Snake. And snake lady was totally dtf, because Byron was inexplicably attractive despite being a total dipshit, but just as she was about to smooch Byron everyone noticed that she was, in fact, a vampire snake lady and I’m pretty sure Narila then punched the snake lady so hard she flew ten feet and then we decided we would murder her instead. 

Byron was basically a very dumb golden retriever, touching or poking or eating or saving things he wasn’t supposed to, making friends with things he REALLY shouldn’t, and the only reason he didn’t die like a thousand times over is because the rest of the party (no less than nine anti-heroes of varying grittiness) basically adopted him.

but for you it would never be such salvation.

The ghosts are loud tonight.

Schmendrik stands surveying candles and lesson plans, his back to the magnificent windows of his house's private study. Moonlight streamed in; through the gossamer curtains and sepia, stained figures only he could see. Could feel; gaseous hands curling into the folds of his clothes, cold lips pressing whispers of hate to his ears. There is nothing he can do. Given the state of the world, it's all he can do to hold o to the desk and shut his eyes. To allow them to grieve and rend his hair and shirt, tearing at both with their spindly fingers. Warped mouths twist and moan, abyssal hurricanes of icy regret. Should've fought harder, murmured one. Why us? Hissed another. Schmendrik swallows, twisting in their grip.

“What can I do?” He asks the wraiths. Their tattered figures dissipate and writhe; forming smoky symbols on the air. Words inscribed in their faces; etched with fury and lined with pain. Old men; children, young women, countless others who stretch for miles beyond what he can physically see before him. A little girl takes his hand with an icy squeeze and Schmendrik feels her last breath as if it is his own. Tears prickle; bloody and raw at the edges of his eyes. She points, but at what, he does not see.

“What can I do?” He repeats himself desperately. A teenager stumbles toward him silently, limping. His face is a mishmash of scratches; as if someone had tried to blot his existence out of photographs. His head jerks to the side and his arms lift, motioning that same, defiant gesture that implies action. Yentl’s face shifts to an expression of despair. No voices are consistent enough for words; but all are loud – clamoring, gongs and groans, cymbals and song. They are mourning.

“I’ll go home,” he promises weakly, sinking down behind his desk. Perhaps that is what they want. Back to America. To stop what he can. To do what he can. The ghosts fall in as a cascade, silvery and soft. Their pressure builds across his shoulders, each tightening their grip. He feels the energy in the room change as the noises increase. The walls are shaking. The lights are brightening; then dimming – a pulse; the only pulse a ghost can have. The choir of wandering apparitions howls.

“I’ll go,” Schmendrik manages to say, trying to lift his head. It is pushed into the desk and his hands are drawn behind his back. The poltergeists keep him hostage. One stoops low to press her lips to his ear again, and finally, he discerns words for human ears,

“Do not let this happen again,” it says.

When he opens his mouth to respond, he finds he has no voice – his study is plunged into blackness and he wakes from a nightmare; stricken and sick.

Around him, the walls feel very small.

And all is far too silent. - I don't deserve to speak the name of G-D. Being who and what I am, I have revoked my right to approach the word of the Lord aloud.

No one would guess a man with the name of Etienne J. Murray to be who he is – a formerly Jewish, formerly human, formerly prospector of gold who likes the occasional whiskey and singing session. Liked. Well. Likes. I can still (somewhat) enjoy whiskey, at any rate. Gold and humanity are behind me, of course, but some things cling on – while I don’t always sing, I can (sort of), and Judaism is too deeply rooted in me to ignore.

But I’m getting off-topic. I can feel it. Shockingly I’m not much of a talker, but here we are. You did ask.

You asked me how I feel about my faith. Well. Given the recent difficulty of things, it’s hard. It’s hard for me personally because I’m so estranged from, you know, religion and all of that I don’t even know if I have a say. ‘You feel me’; as Chad would say? You don’t know Chad. That’s fine. Nobody needs to know Chad.

Anyway.

I’m pissed. Quietly; deeply pissed. I’ve made it my sole focus to go after assholes and take care of my own that way. Not so much avenging angel as I am Very Hungry Hippo with a lotta smaller hippos to feed, though – you haven’t committed any crimes, though, right? You’re just a reporter. Fuck it, I’m fucking with you. Don’t look so stressed. One wrong word and I’m afraid you’re gonna snap, twigs.

It’s so easy to hate. It’s lazy. It’s uncouth. I spent four fucking years following the Yukon gold rush to the end you see before you – four miserable, damp, bloody years panning for nothing. For shit. I traded blows with so-called men of faith over their treatment of Algonquins and black folks – doesn’t make me a good ally. I could’ve done more. It was the 19th fucking century; sure, but I’m still angry at myself for not doing more. But greed owned me more than the G-D I kept praying to, somehow. The off prayer of “fuck don’t let me fall down this big hole” that I finally forgot to ask the day…it happened.

Doesn’t make me hate G-D though.

I don’t hate much, anymore. I used to be full of it. Greed and hate. Now it’s just gluttony; hunger. Endless. I had to have something else to fill the hole when…arguably, I shoulda died down there in the mines. Or, I shoulda had faith somebody would find me. Or faith in G-D or whatever.

But there again, faith only gets you so far – hard work and determination; standing up for yourself and your beliefs? That’s something else altogether. Faith will back that, I think.

So I have faith in my methods now. G-D might not support everything I do, but I don’t even know if I’m fully His anymore.

And I’ll keep removing scum from the bottom of the fucking pond up if it means there’s a little less garbage in the world G-D did (or didn’t) make.

-        E.J. Murray as interviewed by Dusek Reznik

- He turned off the news and sat motionless in his chair, staring into the dark space where the living room sat vacant and bare.

 In this cool, quiet void, Byron knew he existed, and for a moment, everything felt…safe.

 It crashed upon him with a suddenness; a wave that swept beneath him and carried him away into the hushed nothing – a gap where God ought to have been; perhaps, were he still worthy of faith and acceptance and acknowledgment. He had lived the past several years as a shell of a person – only now coming back to things such as a personality, a future, and a voice – none of which he still believed he fully deserved.

 Upstairs, Kegan slept, unbothered by most things save the absence of Byron beside him – Byron; an insomniac and a restless spirit by nature, had taken the liberty of looking up global news to follow just in case someone, say, exposed supernaturals or threatened to invade the supposed “safe-haven” they all inhabited (albeit just how ‘safe’ that haven was still remained to be seen).

 In doing so, Byron had witnessed not any preternatural destruction or threat of war between species, but rather, a war between humans that was not so much blossoming as it was reigniting. The torches and pitchforks were reminiscent of ancient days; better-covered and more widely-distributed. The hatred spread with diseased intent; an inflammation that fanned over the globe and sought to burn alive any who dared try to put it out.

 When he’d stopped shivering long enough to come back to himself and remember who and where he was, Byron swallowed the barbs and needles in his throat that came from outright terror – and, shutting his eyes, tried to find something in the dark. He groped blankly for a handhold or a foothold in the bleak absence of light – numbly shuffling forward in his mind to seek what made him; him. Who he was, what he was, and where, why, how – what could he do? Helplessness was another wave that broke upon him and left Byron in an ice-cold sweat.

For the first time since his turning, Byron Jones sat down, faced the east, and began to pray.

 -

I stumbled into faith the way a blind man finds an oasis in the desert – sheer luck, or misfortune, depending on whether he drinks or drowns.

My cross was the one I wore to burn my fears away – a pair of Gucci sunglasses to deflect the light and a boatload of sunblock to hold me closer than moss to the gravestones of my predecessors. Though I rose up from blood; I was not a savior – though I came from a war, I was not a soldier.

I was, for all intents and purposes, not someone you’d expect to care about the comings and goings of all things religious.

Neon churches on a Nevada strip that was bare in more ways than one I called my covenant. My congregation was the unfortunate; sex workers, tourists, violent criminals, hustlers, bouncers, semi-automatic-toting gangsters. I was in the midst of a den of thieves and miscreants; loving every ounce of it. Blood money; sweat money, tears weren’t allowed – I thrived in the leather backseats of cars so expensive they’d drain the bank accounts of Dubai and the Swiss alike.

I was…who I was. I still am.

I find myself surrounded, nowadays, by these people – agents of chaos (or Khaos) all; supplementing success for fame and empty promises.

And then faith found me a home in a kosher deli where the old man working there didn’t mind giving me buckets of the blood he drained from paring animals. He didn’t speak English; so I learned Hebrew. He didn’t want to talk, I sat in silence with him. We watched the news together and eventually, he began to open up.

His name was Aaron; he was a Jew from Utah who’d wandered down to Nevada on a pilgrimage after his wife had passed away. He thought he could do some good here; provide people with something genuine and well-meant. Well-made, too, as he did all the work himself and refused to ask for help. I could respect that about him, being much the same way.

He taught me, slowly and roughly, about the faith, and I was fascinated. Imagine; me, a vampire, meandering into Judaism. It’s not bad though. It’s not necessarily good, and I don’t recommend it on a daily basis (because…ow), but. It’s something real. Something I could sink metaphorical teeth into and feel the pulse of without the fear of draining it dry.

Faith was a well.

Faith was an oasis in the desert.

And when Aaron died; because he would not let me turn him, I mourned in the way he would’ve wanted.

And I keep his faith alive some forty years later.

The Star somehow doesn’t burn the way a neon cross does.

Disclaimer; wrote most of this blog drunk.  Not just drunk, totally pissed. Keep that in mind before offering judgement. Tea and scones with the queen at Buckingham Palace, a good two hours looking at Zach Thompson's war rooms and then a release... Today has been a quintessential London day.  I headed out of my hotel in Cartwright Gardens to the King's Cross Underground station where I catch the Picadilly line to Covent Garden. I take a brief look around (intending to come back) before heading to Trafalgar Square.  I have been to the Royal Gallery so I decide to skip it and visit St. Martin in the Fields and then over to the Churchill war rooms. Now... I have an inside joke that I would say only I have this day.  Winston Churchill reminds me of my dear friend Zach Thompson.  I can't see a single picture of the man without snickering.  Then a group of veterans show up.  They have all fought in different wars.  I see insignia of Vietnam, WW2 & Korea on their hats as well as the patch for the VFW (Veterans of Foreign Wars) of which my grandfather was a member.   I strike up a conversation with an army vet.  Such a lovely man named Dale or Dave (I might have misheard him) who served in Korea.  We get along nicely having a wonderful conversation.  I see if there is any chance that he knew my grandfather.  He doesn't but my grandpa never talked about his involvement in this war so this is the next best thing.  We talk for what must have been 20 minutes but his group wants to move along.  He grabs my hand and says, "thank you sweetheart for listening to an old man."  I tell him that it is me who should be thanking him, so I do.  I understand the moment on both our parts to feel important .  I wish him well and am on my way.  Next stop, a walk by of Big Ben and Parliament before taking a tour of Westminster Abbey (a favorite of mine and this is my second visit).   This time in my tour Mary Queen of Scots takes a more important meaning although before I recall being very interested in her reign before. She is buried next to Queen Mary II which is funny because the two actually didn't get along very well, but here they lie in eternity in the same nave of this cathedral. I head over to poet's corner (the main interest of mine in the abbey) where I encounter tributes to Shakespeare, the Bronte Sisters, Lord Byron, Lawrence Olivier," and a favorite DH Lawrence.  "I never seen a wild thing sorry for itself,". That.  Is.  Me. So the rest of the night is basically a feminist/relations pub crawl.  I apparently am an anomaly for many.  Feminist.  Check.  Atheist.  "Eeek!" Check.  Human rights.  Check.  (They are fucked up over this.  Sorry fooked).  Army family.  "Who the fook is this person?"  Check.   I first go into Blackfriar's Pub near Fleet Street. First I should mention that I wasn't expecting to get to see this gem because I forgot to write down the address of it before leaving my hotel room, then low and behold I walk out and BAM, there it is. This pub is an Art Nouveau pub built in 1875 on the site of a Dominican friary. Located at the end of the Blackfriars Bridge, it was saved from demolition thanks to a campaign led by Sir John Betjeman. Should you look around the pub you will find jolly friars appearing everywhere including sculptures, mosaics and reliefs. It really is a rare building in shape and decor. Definitely one to check out. I order a Seafarer's Ale and sit down at a table with two gentlemen who notice I have nowhere to sit. They continue their conversation (as it was almost over and they were about to leave anyway) one offers me an uneaten bag of crisps, sea salt and malt vinegar, MY FAVORITE!!! I sit back and sip my beer watching pub life in London. This is not a cliche. This is a very beautiful part of London social scenes and when there is no room left at the bar, everyone starts to convene outside. Next off, I walk the streets of Fleet. That Fleet Street. The one of the same name in Sweeney Todd. I had tried to visit Ye Olde Cheshire Cheese last time I was in London, however it was closed for, "renovation." Now, I don't know what, "renovation," means, but it looks exactly its dark and dank self. The pub was rebuilt shortly after the Great fire of 1666, but there has been a pub in this location since 1538. Now... there are older pubs in the area, but this one has zero natural lighting. When you go it is dark and gloomy. I take a walk around and march right into the, "Gentlemen Only," bar and order a Samuel Smith's Double Four Lager. This is where I meet two guys at the bar from the east coast. We chat a bit and then I get my beer and take a look around the bar. It is as old and dark as anything you could ever imagine. Also fun is that doorways and stairs down to the basement are generally short, uneven and creaky. There isn't a ton of room so I head out to meet my new friends. We start down the road of politics. The one cocky guy tells me immediately that he voted for Trump and made sure I know that, "Hillary, was not qualified." That is where my brain starts weaving. I let them in. I listen to them. I hate to say I tricked them, but I finally get to my point that, "Hillary in fact is one of the most qualified candidates to ever run for president." I also remind them that it is sad that she actually won the popular vote and is constantly silenced by men even when she is saying nothing. Also I add that America has a stronghold on fear of vaginas that is perpetuated by men. I could hear the explosions in their brain. If it made a sound it would sound like a millions voices saying, "who is this broad and what is she?" I perplex them, but remain kind. We are sharing ideas after all. Hopefully if anything got through I succeeded. I thank the one that is a firefighter for his service to veterans. I talk honestly and earnestly with them. I'm never preachy or aggressive though the cocky one is with me. He then tries to change the subject by saying, "well you are young?" I ask, "how old do you think I am?" Fact is he is only about 10 years older than me. He doesn't believe me and believes I'm a good 15 years younger than I am. The kinder one of the two goes in and gets me a beer because we had a very nice moment talking about the importance of veterans and I told him of my conversation with a vet earlier in the day. He comes back with a Samuel Smith triple stout and says it is better than Guinness. I liked him until that point. :). The conversation then goes into human rights. It starts off with Colin Kapernick and then ventures into the gay community. They really do not know what they are dealing with. The conversation goes down another route of twists and turns where I basically get them to agree they are privileged as am I, but where I really turned the cocky one off is my mention of... GASP!!! I'm an atheist. That whole conversation takes more twists and turns back to my point that religion, politics, war, etc... many times is due to a man's attempt to control women or to have control in general. I enter into my argument that, "we are standing in a country who's king created a new religion just so he could get divorced." Enter Adam. Handsome. Young. Brit. Cheeky like me. Funny as hell and definitely more interesting to talk to. "How dare you question the decisions of our monarch?" He hangs for a minute. The guys gulp down their beers. I have about 1/2 left, but they excuse themselves when Adam starts occupying my time. He and I both finish our beers and I bid him adieu and exit the bar. Next... Ye Olde Mitre. Another public house that was built around 1773, though the pub website notes that the original build year was 1546. Seriously... these old pubs are ridiculous. Also you will notice as I get drunker there is less information about the bar. I can't. I just can't. It's old. Like others it was destroyed by the great fire and rebuilt. I watch a man at the bar.  Not a gentleman, a man, complain about a roll at the bar that he feels like was not up to snuff to his standards.  This carried on for 5 minutes or so.  I want another pint and what is standing between that and myself is this guy. I offer, "did you eat the whole thing?"  Him: "yes."  Me:  "And you are just this moment having a problem?"  Him:  well he ignores me.  He still wants the bartender to eat what he ate.  The bartender remains polite and refuses.  It carries on.  I offer to buy him a pint just to shut him up.  He agrees, the bartender pours him a pint and he goes back to his friend.  Then I get fooked, the bartender proceeds to pour me an additional pint.  What?  No!  I have to find the train.  I go to pay and he waves me away.  So... at this point I have received three free pints and a bag of chips.  This is why I feel like I am on a making people get along mission, but in the meantime f-ing myself.   I know there is a more official title but for real, I am three more beers in than anticipated and am around the area that "Sweeney Todd," was based on.  Leave.  Me.  Alone.  I don't even know how to get back to my hotel at this point.  I drop a 5 pound note on the floor.  The gent at the table next to me lets me know.  Karma!!!  Ohhhh!  "Foreign relations!!!  Diplomacy!!!"  Are those the titles?  Anyway...  I start trying to leave and then hear, "arrest this godless heathen for treason against the crown." It is Adam again. He teases me of losing my "fellas." They couldn't hang. We talk a bit more but I know I'm pretty pissed and need to get home so I go about finding a taxi. Things were going pretty well. I get to the front door of my hotel before thinking... "Ahhhh Mable's Pub."  No one in the world knows the significance of this Pub like I do. So attention must be paid. I decide to walk down to it, about a block away.   There is just something about this place.  Mable's Pub.  I order a Bishop's Finger Kentish Strong Ale and a bag of crisps and sit back in the back corner of the bar.  I was here some 5 or so years ago, in this exact seat in the Pub.  Whether I knew it or not at the moment it was the place that I started getting a glimpse that another person's needs did not superceed mine. During this event a few years ago I dismissed myself to, "go get cold medication," for my ailing travel companion and found myself in this Pub contemplating all the things I had been told were wrong with me, all the while, I became more determined than ever to enjoy my time, something I was rarely afforded. During that trip I enjoyed this foreign city.  I had conversations with people I did not know that thought I was alright. I dare say they thought I was interesting, while being told by another that I was, "in the way."  Even in that moment I am not fully sure I understood the significance of this Pub, but some 5 (give or take) years later I am giving it as a directional reference point to my friend MJ.  It means something.  Now I laugh at the fact that I had two pints one fateful night then ran to the pharmacy to get cold meds and later proclaiming, "I got lost," so that I was not berated. Well not as bad. One of the only times I had ever lied to this person.  This is significant,  it was why I had the taxi drop me off in front of my hotel only to be drawn back to this place. Today I realize was some working out of some demons.  I really needed this.  This trip was everything I needed it to be.  I have learned more than ever that I am a good person that wants the best for everyone around me.  While I have learned that, I also know that those that don't wish the same can really just piss off and I don't need them near me. Mable's Pub... you become my alter.  Forever I shall worship thee.  Excuse me while I get another pint.