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#by alexia
cinematv · 1 year
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CHARLIE HUNNAM in THE GENTLEMEN (2020)
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cinemapix · 1 year
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"You're overreacting. I knew I should have cut ties with you lot a long time ago. It's not our fault!"
DERRY GIRLS - THE NIGHT BEFORE; (2022)
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wileys-russo · 17 days
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filling the void II a.putellas x sister!reader
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biiiig thanks to @girlgenius1111 for brainstorming this lil fic with me and listening to my rambles - would recommend listening to after the storm by mumford and sons for max angst as that was the soundtrack in my ears as i wrote this. filling the void II a.putellas x sister!reader
you'd known you were taking a rather large risk the moment you'd arrived to the event with your friends and realized just what it was. this was of course followed by the staggering domino effect of knowing who ran and organised it lingering in the back of your mind.
you'd not been responsible for the tickets, only accepting the invitation of a night out with your co-workers turned friends, your older friends to say the least with most of them in their early to mid twenties and you still only at seventeen, though majority of people would never guess so if meeting you for the first time.
having grown up with a significant age gap between you and both of your older sisters you'd only had so many years living in your childhood home with them before suddenly they had lives and jobs and partners all of their own, and one day it felt like you blinked and suddenly you were left behind.
weekly family dinners slowly strayed to become monthly or just on occasion, trying desperately to find any sort of common ground with your sisters which might attract them back to spending time with you like you all used to.
but time stood still for no one and they got older while still seeming to refuse to accept you did too, the things they enjoyed doing together not something you ever seemed to be included in.
gone were the nights you'd all spend curled up together arguing over what movie to watch, often followed by the spontaneous late night drives you were snuck out for afterward once your mami was asleep.
bribed with the promise of ice cream the three of you would sit on the beach and listen to the waves, talking about everything and nothing for hours and hours.
sometimes when you were much younger you'd fall asleep on the sand with your head on either alba or alexia's lap, their fingers carding gently through your hair they spoke softer as to not wake you.
when it came time to leave they'd argue for a moment over who was carrying you back to the car, alexia nearly always losing as she very carefully returned you to your seat, alba sliding in the back with you as your head was cradled safely into her shoulder, arm draped protectively around your back.
you'd stir a little as the engine roared to life, lifting your head slightly as alba softly pushed it back down to slump on her shoulder again. "go to sleep fresa." your sister would coo, kissing your forehead as you'd drift off again.
fresa, little strawberry.
the small red berry your favorite fruit growing up meant as a baby your face was always stained red with the juice, finding endless amusement in smushing them against your lips rather than eating them properly.
the nickname given to you by alexia who would always laugh as she tried to feed you one and you'd almost take her finger off in your eagerness, having to be extra careful once your teeth came in and suddenly the small nips hurt.
as a small child your affinity for the fruit continued, t-shirt often stained with blotchy red patches to your lack of care when eating, your entire family now dubbing you as fresa, the name affectionate and loving and sweet.
but now, now it felt like ashes in your mouth.
growing up with such a large age gap had made both your sisters fiercely protective over you. your first year of school an eighteen year old alexia walked you there hand in hand every single day, often leaving the barcelona academy early to make sure she was there on time to pick you up again at the end of the school day.
her heart would swell as your face lit up everytime you saw her, waving goodbye to your friends and sprinting over toward her, the footballer often still in her training kit would drop down as you launched at her in a tight hug.
swinging your tiny little hand in hers she'd smile in amusement at your bookbag which was nearly the same size as you as she listened to your excited little ramble about your day, waiting patiently while you forced her to stop so you could pick a bunch of wildflowers from a small park near your home which blossomed every spring.
sometimes they were a gift for her, sometimes for your mami, even sometimes for alba though that was a lot less as your fifteen year old sisters unpredictable mood swings could be truly terrifying at times.
the year your father died was hard for the entire family, but it seemed to fall hardest on you as only six you didn't understand why he didn't come home anymore, no one really knowing how to explain it to you among their own grief.
it confused you that when you asked when he was coming home everyone just seemed to cry, your sisters often pulling you into a hug so bone crushingly tight at times it hurt your chest a little as your shirt became damp from their tears.
of course with time you understood, the tight hugs now offered rather than just taken as you did you all did your best to move forward in this new normal.
back then you'd been a family, a unit, a support system full of love and care, relishing in the time you got to spend with your two older sisters who were your biggest idols.
you cheered very loudly and very proudly when alexia played her first senior game for barcelona, sitting on alba's shoulders and watching in awe as your sister blazed up and down the pitch like a superhero.
and back then to you both of your sisters were your superheros.
but now dismissed and brushed off by the two women you'd always looked up to and held on such a pedestal growing up left you with a wound carved a lot deeper than you cared to admit or either of them cared to notice.
though of course nothing was missed by eli who with now only you at home to look after meant the pair of you grew even closer. though even eli's subtle attempts to hint to her two eldest that maybe you were feeling a little neglected and left out were waved off.
as far as alexia and alba could see by your instagram you had an active social life and a good handful of friends you hung out with regularly. why would you want to hang out with them anyway if you had friends your own age? what teenager chooses their sisters over their peers.
but what they failed to see was all the over posting and the near forceful attempts to shove a healthy social life down the throat of your followers was to try and prove you weren't a loser.
prove you went out and had fun with your friends, so it hurt even more to not be able to answer the question of why wouldn't your own sisters deem you worthy enough to invite you to do the same with them anymore?
instead now on your own you'd been forced to watch on through a phone screen as the pair of them seemed to grow closer and you suddenly felt a million miles away, some days even on a different planet despite both their homes being a mere twenty or so minutes from yours.
you'd always been smart, you weren't by any means cocky or arrogant you were just intelligent. both emotionally and logically you found yourself head and shoulders above your peers, excelling through school and graduating a whole year early at only sixteen.
you'd hoped maybe this display of maturity and achievement might allow you a small crack to slither through to spend more time with your sisters, and for the weekend following your graduation it seemed to work with both older girls plastered by your side for the entire 48 hours of celebration with your loved ones.
but of course the moment monday rolled around they were nowhere to be found when you'd woken that morning, returning to their own lives and their own homes which just didn't seem to hold a place for you in them anymore.
discussing with your school careers advisor from afar the options which were laid out in front of you now you'd finished school, you found yourself put forward for a junior position with a local pathology lab.
at first they were quite firm they were looking for someone older and with more experience, but with a gentle forceful push from your advisor you were offered the chance to interview anyway.
you'd spent the days leading up to it doing your research, you'd always had an uncanny knack for retaining information and this was no different.
you'd reached out to both your sisters for some advice, hoping they might be proud enough to come see you and help you prepare. though when all you got back were simple texts wishing you luck and not even asking you call them afterwards with how you went, you deflated like a balloon someone had taken a pin to.
the day of the interview came and passed.
it hurt that neither of your sisters bothered to check in, though given they were on yet another weekend away together with a few of alexia's teammates you tried to tell yourself they were just busy and hadn't realized, deluding yourself as the days passed that anytime your phone went off it could be them.
but it never was and you knew deep down they'd likely forgotten all about it, and in turn it felt like they had forgotten all about you.
and when after a few days you'd not heard anything back from the lab you emailed your advisor thanking her for the support but that you were unsuccessful in the position.
but not even five minutes had passed before your phone started to ring and you clicked accept, your eyes widening as you were offered both the job and even an apology.
your chest swelled at the positive feedback that you were the ideal candidate and that in fact your age was an advantage, you might have been young but you were eager to learn with a good mature head on your shoulders and that was exactly what they sought out in a junior position.
that had been twelve months ago and now you were qualified to both take and test the blood with careful supervision, having assumed you might stay in the role only a few months while you worked out what you wanted to do next you found yourself quite drawn to pathology.
over those twelve months you'd found yourself withdrawing from your school friends, struggling to find common ground now you seemed to be in an entirely different life phase to them and through no malice you all just seemed to drift apart.
with a large chasm opening in your chest at the breakdown in relationship with your sisters, your sisters who at some point in time you'd go to for everything and anything, you sought that out elsewhere.
from your very first day you'd felt welcomed and looked after, everyone assuring no question you had was stupid and that the very best lessons came from mistakes made.
so taken under the wing of a few of the more senior girls working you found yourself invited out for dinners, then to parties and birthdays, then just to hang out as that chasm lessened a little with your new older friends offering you the life advice and comfort you'd lacked with alexia and alba stepping back.
which brought you back to now as you chattered eagerly with your coworkers turned friends, all of you grateful for the weekend off since the lab only operated monday through friday.
your heart started to race and you felt your head spin as you looked up at the very large manuelas banner stretched out across the top of the entrance, though that could be attributed to the large amount of alcohol you'd already consumed at pre drinks.
you'd tried to plead with your friends before you entered the line outside the club, already able to hear the thundering bass and laughter coming from inside but all you could focus on was the knowledge your sisters girlfriend was likely already inside.
you knew at least your sister herself wasn't going to be here, having seen on her instagram that alexia was out for dinner with her agent and management team celebrating a brand new deal she'd just signed with nike for a further three years under them.
of course you found that out through instagram as well, as you did with most updates about their lives or careers. the text thread with both of your sisters pushed right down at the bottom of your contacts, rarely speaking to them much these last few months.
you’d stopped going to alexia’s football games, she hadn’t seemed to notice which only solidified she didn’t care if you were there or not. instead you spent your weekends with your new older friends, the ones who actually wanted you around and cared for you in a way you hadn’t felt from either of your sisters in a long time.
though no matter which way you explained the olga situation and your worries you'd be caught out for being underage your friends were not taking no for an answer. promising they'd look out for you and that the chances of you being noticed among the hundreds of women crammed into the club was slim to none.
so with a sigh you allowed yourself to be pulled into the line to get in, your friends doing their best to distract you as your nerves were obvious, though they eased a little by the time you finally made it to the front.
you all had your tickets scanned, that was easy enough and without an issue you stepped forward, hovering in the middle of the group as you tried not to look nervous when you handed the bouncer your fake ID.
really it wasn't all that much of a stretch and you knew you passed for nineteen always having looked a little older than your peers, especially with the amount of makeup slapped on your face right now as you shifted and subtly tugged your dress down a little as it hitched up your ass.
when you'd bought the ID you knew better than to age yourself up more than a few years, nineteen was reasonable, achievable, anything more and you knew you'd be pushing it.
before anything else you'd contemplated just stealing alba's ID, but trying to pass for twenty seven was laughable and a disaster waiting to happen so you'd abandoned that thought quite quickly.
flashing the rather hulking and stern looking bouncer a smile as charming as you could manage, you withheld your sign of relief as he handed the ID back to you and nodded for you to proceed.
your friends dragging you inside your body sagged and they all announced this called for shots before you were even a few feet into the club.
you blinked a few times as you were pulled and jostled toward the bar, slightly disorientated from the tequila pumping through your blood stream, the amount of insanely attractive women surrounding you and the flashing strobe lights which pulsed above your head as the bass vibrated the floor beneath your feet.
a shot of something shoved into your hand you couldn't help but grin as the cheers rang out celebrating you, having been given a pay raise today at work on the anniversary of your first year with the lab.
"vamos!" you all yelled and downed the drinks, your nose scrunching at the sambuca which burned its way down your throat.
doing your best not to cough or gag one of your friends clapped you on the back and kissed your cheek, grabbing your hand and tugging you with her onto the dance floor.
your friends following suit and yet another drink placed into your hand you found yourself finally able to relax a little, calmed by the mass of sweaty drunken bodies crammed into the room you'd all but dismissed your fears of being found out.
but really, you were caught out long before that first shot passed your lips.
olga had been stood on the second floor with her team, watching with eager grins as the line to enter grew longer and longer and the cheers rang out, glasses of champagne clinking as one by one her partners slipped downstairs to continue the celebrations.
olga however relished in the gentle evening breeze fanned with the fresh fragrant air of summer, having spent what felt like the last month packed into that club organizing every little detail to be as perfect as could be, so understandably she was in no rush to go and join the party just yet.
she had always enjoyed people watching, a smile curling on her lips watching the groups of atendee's below. some clearly already maybe a little too drunk she trusted her security team to keep everything at bay, in olga's mind as she did with all of her events she'd prepared a solution to any possible problem which might pop up.
well, she thought every single problem that could have arisen.
eyes scanning faces and nursing the now lukewarm glass of champagne in her hands olga's gaze passed you by without a second thought, making it a further seven faces before suddenly she snapped to attention as if someone had poured a bucket of ice water over her head.
her grip on the half empty glass tightened and eyes narrowed as they locked in on you, the sound of your laughter floating through the air confirming her fears as her chest tightened watching you make your way easily through the security team and disappear inside.
the moment you did her phone was already pressed to her ear, champagne abandoned as she paced back and forth, olga dismissing one of her colleagues who popped her head out to check in with a wave of her hand.
"hola, amor?"
~
your worries were now long gone as you downed your third drink of the hour, bodies packed against you from all angles as you and your friends sang screamed along amid your laughter.
"your round chiqui!" you felt a poke to your cheek and rolled your eyes playfully, one of your friends shoving you halfheartedly. "vale vale i'm going!" you laughed at their insistence, shuffling and jostling your way through the crowd toward the bar.
finally busting out of the throng of drunken sweaty patrons you were able to breathe properly again, standing in line and running a hand through your hair tugging out a few loose knots.
"hola." you turned your head at the new voice, a tall brunette grinning down at you, the alcohol coursing through your veins impairing your judgement a little as you smiled back and returned the greeting.
"can i buy you a drink querida?" the girl asked, tone clearly flirty as you raised an eyebrow at her forwardness. you opened your mouth to reply however a different pair of eyes caught yours from the bar and suddenly your heart dropped into your stomach.
"no, lo siento." you apologised before turning to make your way away, the girl shrugging and turning to another woman on her other side, repeating the question as you pushed your way back in trying to find your friends.
though the longer your eyes searched the more desperate you became and so abandoning your plan you decided to just make a break for it.
"oye! pequeña?" your blood ran cold at the familiar voice calling out behind you, eyes widening as you ignored the urge to turn around, instead making a beeline for the door, mumbling apologies as you elbowed your way through the crowd.
you flashed a nervous smile to the bouncer whose eyebrows furrowed but before he could say a word you'd taken off, the man deeming he had other priorities as he made no move to follow you.
by the time olga made it to the front you were already gone, the security team confirming you'd left as olga dismissed their questions as to why she was looking for you, the older girl needing to keep this as under wraps as possible as she hurried upstairs already on the phone to her girlfriend.
~
your uber account linked to eli's you couldn't call one of those, so it was looking like you were walking home considering you didn't have the faintest idea of what bus would get you there.
you were grateful that the club itself was in the centre of town, plenty of people wandering around the warm summer night as the time had now passed midnight.
you were so caught up in your own head you hadn't noticed the car pulling up on the curb behind you, the slam of the door pulling you from your thoughts as you glanced behind you out of curiosity.
but the sight which met your eyes had them widening and the breath quickly snatched from your lungs, the furious hazel orbs burning a hole in your head.
"tienes muchos problemas." your sister growled, both of you locked in a stand off as you sized one another up and you swallowed hard, eyes darting around nervously.
"no!" alexia warned as she took a step closer and you bolted, quickly snatching your heels off and sprinting away as your sister took off after you.
"mierda!" alexia swore as you quickly disappeared, returning back to the car and instructing olga to drive as it was now suddenly a race to see who got home first.
your chest heaved, calves throbbed and lungs burned as you finally stopped running, almost home now and profusely sweating out the alcohol which was pumping through you.
adrenaline and fear having carried you to your final destination everything started to catch up as a wave of nausea washed over your body and you careered over, throwing up the remaining contents of your stomach onto the grass.
wiping your mouth with the back of your hand you forced yourself to your feet, darting around the back of the house and moving the trash bin as quietly as you could, shaking your head to try and remove the dizziness as you climbed up.
meanwhile back around the front alexia and olga arrived right as alba was dropped off by one of her friends, having been at manuelas herself and by the luck of god not running into you she'd only just checked her phone while in the bathroom.
"where is she?" alba asked confused as alexia jumped out, kissing her girlfriend goodnight and promising she'd be home soon, olga sensing this was now a family matter as alba waved and she was gone.
"joder when i get my hands on her, ten foot under in a grave!" alexia warned coldly, body tensed with rage as the two made their way to the front door, alexia pounding her fist against it and tapping her foot impatiently.
"ale!" alba pushed her hand away as she did it again, the door swinging open before another word could be said. "Dios mío. what is wrong?" eli questioned worriedly, alba paling a little as alexia rolled her eyes unfazed.
"mami do you know where your daughter is right now?" alexia asked coldly, eli frowning at the question. "i know two of them have just woken me up at nearly one in the morning." the woman responded calmly, raising an eyebrow as alexia huffed and gently moved the shorter woman out of the way striding inside.
"alexia what-" eli started, the blonde making a beeline for your bedroom as alba closed the front door, alexia all but kicking your door open as you froze like a deer in headlights, halfway through the window.
"oh que perfecto!" your sister was hauling you the rest of the way inside as you stumbled and almost fell, wincing as she grabbed your ear and twisted hard causing you to hiss and try to pull her hand off to no avail as you were dragged across the room.
"alexia? let her go ya mismo!" eli ordered as your sister shoved you to sit down on the sofa, towering over you with a murderous glare as you tried to stand again, quickly abandoning that idea as you slouched backwards with a frown, crossing your arms over your chest.
"mami do you know where she has been? where we found her? what she has been doing?" alexia was on the brink of exploding, and there was a time where perhaps you'd have teased her for the vein in her head looking ready to pop but long gone were those days.
"hija?" eli sighed tiredly, raising an eyebrow as she took a seat in the armchair in the corner of the room, alba and alexia's glares trained on you as you refused to meet their eyes.
"i was out with my friends mami, like i told you i was." you answered with a shrug causing your sisters to scoff. "tell her where." alexia continued to probe as you rolled your eyes, digging your grave a little deeper but beyond the point of caring now.
"at a club." you mumbled, picking at a loose thread of your dress. "más fuerte!" alexia growled in warning. "no, i heard her." eli held up a hand and you chanced a look up to meet her eyes, face unreadable.
"she was at manuelas mami, at olga's event in a club drinking with women twice her age! drinking, at seventeen in a club!" alexia hissed, fists balled by her side as once again your eyes rolled.
"you roll your eyes at me one more time hermanita and i will turn them black!" alexia exploded, taking a step toward you as alba grabbed her wrist and tugged her back.
"some friends hermana, sneaking you into a club and buying you alcohol? group of idiotas!" alba snarked adding in her two cents as your jaw clenched and you bit your tongue.
"do you have any idea how much trouble olga could be in if someone reported that there was minors at the club and drinking? she could lose her license, maybe lose her business, her team would be investigated-" alexia ranted on and on as you sighed quietly.
"no one would have found out alexia, stop being so dramatic." you muttered, and if you were all in a cartoon you were sure steam would have poured from her ears.
"pequeña since when are you this stupid? this reckless? this selfish!" alba spoke up again, shaking her head in disbelief, disappointed in you while alexia remained angry.
the last word caused a bitter smile to be painted across your face, body vibrating with a chuckle as alexia's eyes widened. "is this funny to you hermanita? are you laughing right now? because i will give you something to laugh about if-" alexia warned, cut off by eli clearing her throat in a silent warning.
"i went out with my friends and did a few shots, lock me up alexia!" your voice dripped with sarcasm as you pouted and held up your wrists mockingly as if ready for them to be cuffed.
"hija." eli's stern tone cut through that as your hands dropped and you sighed. "mami por favor i am tired and it is late, can i go to bed?" you asked quietly, eli's face softening as the older woman took pity and nodded.
"sit your ass down hermana we aren't done here!" alexia warned as you stood, her words ignored as you moved to kiss eli's cheek as she drew you into a hug, murmuring an apology to her as your sisters watched on in disbelief.
"mami. really?" alba scoffed as she gestured for you to head to your room and you shot your sisters a filthy glare. "you ruin my night, alexia's night, olga's night and you have nothing to say pequeña?" alba accused as you only shrugged.
"i was fine, i was safe, you had no reason to come here. you ruined your own night!" you snarled back, the sudden tone catching your sister off guard, not used to you pushing back like this and certainly not expecting that as a response.
"sit. down." alexia's larger form blocked you from moving, glaring down at you as you both stood chest to chest. "no. move, puta." you growled, the blondes eyes widening as you tried to push past her and she grabbed the material of your dress in her hands and shoved you back harshly into the wall.
"go on la reina, hit me!" you challenged with a twisted smile at the pure rage in her eyes as you raised your chin up, daring her to make contact.
"alexia! déjala ir, now." eli stood and warned firmly, alexia's grip loosening as you pushed at her chest sending her stumbling backwards. "you don't scare me anymore alexia. i hate you both! stay out of my life." you hissed, both your sisters eyes widening further at the venom in your tone.
but at your words and obvious lack of remorse toward the situation all the midfielder could see was red.
"careless, stupid, selfish little accident!" alexia hurled back angrily as you paused by your door, hot tears burning at your eyes as her words cut you deep like a dagger dragged down your back.
but you wouldn't let her see that they hurt so you refused to turn around and give her the satisfaction.
your anger deflating and now numb and tired you stepped into your room, door closing with a gentle click and a thud of your lock as alexia stood chest heaving with rage watching you go.
"she's seventeen drinking in a club and she gets a kiss on the cheek and sent to bed? mami!" alba echoed her sisters thoughts with a scoff as alexia watched your door for a moment more, your light turning out before she stepped away.
"she's a baby mami! our baby. she is out drinking and dancing and doing god knows what with older women, who don't know that she is a minor! are you blind? deaf? do you not care about her? her safety? she needs rules, consequences, discipline! she is out of control." alexia struggled out, eli fixing her with an unimpressed stare at her words.
"she is not a baby anymore and it would do the two of you some good to remember that hija's, if you have any hope of fixing this." eli spoke calmly as both your sisters faces scrunched up.
"fix it? por favor we have to be sorry? for what mami you are joking!" alba laughed bitterly, shaking her head and shooting a glare at your door with half a mind to kick it in and lay into you herself if no one else would.
"both of you. venga aquí." eli nodded for them both to follow her as she lead her two eldest daughters out onto the balcony, ordering they take a seat as she firmly closed the doors, your ears not needing to catch wind of any of this if you were still awake.
you were, sobs muffled into your pillow as your eyes stung from the salty tears pooled in them and the smeared makeup not yet wiped off your face, mascara stained tears carving their destructive little path down your cheeks as your body shook violently at the effort to try and stay as quiet as possible.
"mami it is late we-" alexia started, the night air cooling her flushed cheeks as eli took a seat across from them. "no, you woke me up and caused all of this, and now you will both listen to me." the woman warned as both girls nodded.
"before tonight, when is the last time either of you saw your hermana?" eli asked calmly as alexia and alba both shared a look, clearly struggling to remember.
"maybe your birthday? but mami-" alexia started, silenced by a hand held up her way. "my birthday was three weeks ago hija's, and it was just dinner. what did you do afterwards?" eli's tone was a little sharper now.
"we went to ale's house, i wanted to see olga since she returned from her trip." alba answered this time as eli nodded. "and did you invite your sister?" both girls hesitated before shaking their heads, starting to sense where this conversation was headed.
"but mami-" "no, i will ask the questions."
"tell me ale, how long has your sister worked at the lab?" eli asked quite casually as alexia opened and closed her mouth a few times. "eh, a couple of months?" she guessed, even alba wincing at that as eli hummed.
"no, one year. one year today, well yesterday. that is why she went out with her friends, to celebrate. i knew she was going to drink, she was honest with me about that as she always is. we went to dinner together on friday to celebrate her achievements." eli informed as alexia and alba shifted a little uncomfortably.
"she didn't tell us." alba dared to speak up, eyes dropping to the table at the fierce look from the older woman across the table. "no she didn't. i asked if she wanted to and do you know what she said said?" eli questioned, neither girl daring to answer.
"your sister said why mami? they won't care, they don't have time for a stupid dinner." eli's tongue cut like a sword through the tense silence rolling in like a fog around the table. "time. something the both of you no longer have for your sister it would seem." eli hummed, crossing her arms and resting them on the table.
"mami we-" "no, i am not done."
"growing up the pair of you have always had one another, three years apart and always close. always filled with love, always looking out for each other like we raised you to. always together." eli started as alexia awkwardly fiddled with the hem of her shorts.
"i know your sister is younger, much younger. but never did i think that would ever mean the two of you do not care for her and look out for her the way you looked out for one another growing up. you had each other, but when you both moved out she had no one but me." eli's tone became harsher as both girls sank deeper into their chairs, both on the verge of throwing up with guilt as her words hit home.
"i am partially at fault as i should have said something sooner. i know you both love her, i do. but she does not, she does not think you care and i can see why. i watched her try desperately to gain your attentions once you both left, i watched her heart crack that little bit more when she was rejected again and again. and it broke my heart because that is not how i raised any of my girls to be!" eli continued as alexia swallowed a hard lump in her throat and alba stared blankly down at the ground.
"i am getting older hijas, and so is she. i can see her now going backwards, she pulls away from you both and if you do not make attempts to fix this then she will pull too far and she will be out of reach. is this what you want?" both girls were quick to shake their heads.
"then do better, find a way to fix this. go to your own homes and think about why your sister does not feel she is welcome in them anymore, and why she no longer feels she holds a place in your life or that either of you deserve space in hers. before it is too late all together, you both need to fix what you have broke."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
part two
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sunnyaelia · 15 days
Note
since you’re willing to write age gap alexia and reader: alexia keeping you a secret and you overhear her talking to someone and she basically insults you to hide that you two are a thing because she’s scared of the repercussions of dating someone so young?
Little Secret
part 2 -
“Buenos días, mi amor.” You felt Alexia’s lips kiss alongside your cheek to your nose before she pressed them onto yours, pulling away as your eyes slowly fluttered open. 
“Good morning.” You stretched, a small laugh escaping when Alexia used the chance to gently tickle you for a moment. 
“Ale, what time is it? I didn’t hear the alarm go off.” Her lips resumed their work on your cheek again, this time travelling lower over your jaw to your neck before she mumbled the next words against your skin. 
“Mhmm it’s still early, I thought we could use the extra 30 minutes for something else.” 
You were a bit later than usual when you entered the changing room that day, trying your hardest not to let your eyes wander too much over to Alexia who was the reason you were late. She had kept you in bed a lot longer than planned, as usual not satisfied until you were totally spent and you could feel your legs being a bit shaky as you sat down on the bench, already feeling the soreness creep in.
She always insisted that you two had to arrive at training at different times or otherwise people would catch on. You honestly wouldn’t mind that much but this morning it had made you annoyed since you were both later than you normally were and she still made you wait and let her leave first.
Training was eventless at first though you couldn’t help but look over to Alexia few times, struck by her doing her stretching exercises that highlighted her muscular thighs - the same thighs you had used for much dirtier things this morning. You were distracted by your own thoughts, only noticing that you had been staring when she caught you for the third time, her expression darkening as she grabbed your arm and pulled you a bit to the side. 
“Stop looking at me like that!” Her voice was hushed but strict, her eyes boring into yours intensely as she made her disdain for you right now clear. You tried not to take it personal, assuring her that you had just been checking if you were doing the drills right - though she didn’t believe you. That became clear when she literally send you off and paired you up with someone else, telling Jona that you two would work together better. She had never used her Captain status like that before, insisting that it would be unprofessional to intervene in any way solely because of the relationship you two had. You two had never openly defined whatever it was between you, never daring to call her your girlfriend since she wanted it to be private and didn’t call you hers either. Trying to shrug it off, knowing how much Alexia deeply valued her privacy you went on with training, keeping your eyes trained on the ground or talking with your training partner and good friend Jana. 
You were already in your car in the parking lot after training when you noticed that you had forgotten your jacket in the changing room in your hurry, eager to drive over to Alexia’s and spend more time with her - hoping she wasn’t annoyed with you anymore for staring a bit too much. You had thought that the others were gone already since the changing room had been almost empty when you had exited the showers earlier, having taken too long to detangle your hair. But when you came closer to the room you heard relatively loud voices from inside, the door not fully closed. 
“…you and her together or something?” That was Ingrid’s voice. 
“No! We aren’t even friends, why would you think that?” 
You frowned as you recognised Alexia’s answer, wondering who she was talking about like that, the annoyance clear in her voice as she went on. 
“She’s actually getting on my last nerve with her constant questions and stories, I wish she would just shut the fuck up finally. Not even sure why Barça ever bought her, her skills are not even close to the rest of the team, it really shows that she’s the youngest player here and lacks experience, she’s always just being annoying.” 
Oh. 
The youngest on the team was you. Alexia was talking about you. 
You cursed yourself internally for the tears that immediately filled your eyes at her words. The pure dismissal with which she talked about you - someone she usually called affectionate spanish nicknames like amor and bebita, enjoying how much you blushed whenever she did. You didn’t even know what hurt worse, to hear her say that you were getting on her last nerve and she didn’t like you after she had just spent this morning and almost every single day for the past several weeks with you, or the fact that she had just criticised your football skills and basically questioned why you were even on the team. 
You tried to keep it together as you quietly hurried away from the changing room towards your car, deciding to just leave your jacket there. You didn’t hear anymore how Ingrid defended you, though you didn’t care that much about whether she agreed or not at the moment, too hurt by what Alexia had said. The person you had trusted with your body and a lot of your stories, someone you had told about all of your struggles when you were younger and all of the problems you had went through in life. And she had thought you were annoying the entire time, probably just hoping you’d finally be quiet. Had she just used you for your body this whole time? 
Your first thought had been to confront her, to demand an answer on why she was talking about you like that after she had spent almost an hour this morning practically worshipping your body, even waking up earlier and risking being late so she could hold you a bit afterwards, knowing how much you loved cuddles afterwards. Though you decided against the confrontation as you could already barely hold it together in your car, driving off hurriedly so nobody would see you. 
You could still smell her perfume on you from the close contact to her, if you closed your eyes for a moment you were brought back into it. The way she had woken you up so gently, been so sweet and nice. Was it all just a game to her? Why would she act like this if she didn’t want you anyway? 
The longer you pondered about it the more you got annoyed with yourself for not noticing earlier that you had been played. Of course you were, there was a reason she never wanted anyone to even think that you two were even friends. There was a reason why she kept you at arm length as soon as someone else was near. There was a reason why you two had never established what exactly you were, any try at a conversation about it had been stopped by Alexia distracting you with her kisses or telling you that you’d soon be able to tell the others. 
It had apparently all been a lie. The promises of you being her girlfriend and one day her wife had been one just as much as her promising you over and over that you were good enough to play at Barça and that there was a reason they had made several offers for you. It had all been untrue, maybe she had been laughing into her pillows on the rare nights you weren’t there, giggling about how stupid you were to believe her, to trust her this much and give her your body every night, believe her when she whispered words of affection against your skin. 
The realisation hurt terribly, at some point the tears blurred your vision so much that you had to pull over for a moment. It was pathetic, sitting in your car in some McDonalds parking lot and sobbing about someone who apparently couldn’t give any less fucks about you. The thought made your tears even worse and it took over an hour until you had halfway calmed down, thanking the downpour of rain outside that nobody was able to see you sitting there crying your eyes out. 
You drove a different route than usual to avoid having to drive past Alexia’s house, not bothering to even let her know that you wouldn’t be coming over today. You usually always did and your phone was already being spammed with messages from her if you were alright and where you were. It didn’t matter, she should be grateful that you weren’t bothering her since she was apparently so sick of you and your constant talking anyway. When she didn’t stop texting and calling, you opted to let her know that you weren’t feeling well. The immediate concerned offer of hers to come over and look after you made you scoff. She was a grade A actress, that’s for sure. What was in it for her that she’d tolerate your apparently so annoying presence to check on you? 
You didn’t even bother answering, just quickly changing and laying down in bed as you tried to figure out why she’d act like she cares if she can’t even stand you. After over half an hour of brooding over it, you came to the conclusion that it must be because she’s afraid of you telling others about this relationship? Friendship? Arrangement. An arrangement you hadn’t known about, having been certain that she actually wanted you beyond your body, that she was sincerely interested in what you had said and talked about. Yes you had noticed that you usually talked more than her but everyone did, Alexia was and according to Mapi always had been, the type to just prefer listening. She had not once complained, actually encouraging you and telling you that she wanted to know more about you. Any attempt at redirecting your attention on her and find out more about her had failed. Alexia was not a talkative and vulnerable person but you had hoped that she’d open up for you after some time. Seems like the actual reason had not been that she wasn’t talkative, she just didn’t want to talk to you. 
Your vision was blurry again as you read the thread of messages from her, the little heart next to Alexia’s name feeling incredibly ironic and stupid now. You didn’t know how she had you saved on her phone but it most definitely wasn’t with a heart. Probably first and last name. Or maybe she didn’t even have your name saved at all if she found you so annoying. 
She was asking if she should come over again, clearly impatient and typing once more while you read through several 
‘don’t ignore it if you don’t feel well’
‘call in sick for tomorrow if you’re genuinely not good, I don’t want you to exhaust yourself mi amor’
‘anything specific you need? I’ll get it for you’ 
texts from her. A few hours ago you’d have swooned at the countless messages, assured that it means that she likes you a lot and wants to take care of you. Now you were certain that it was just so you wouldn’t show up at training and drag the team performance down - since you were apparently so horrible at playing anyway. Or she didn’t want you to make anyone else sick. 
When she sent another text, saying that she was coming over since you weren’t answering you were quick to reply and tell her not to, saying you’d just call out of training and would be fine. She wasn’t convinced at first until you said that she’d catch whatever you had as well and would miss the next match. That was enough for her to agree, though she insisted that you tell her if you need anything. You could only scoff, she’d probably be happy if you didn’t show up to training at all anymore. 
The next few days you called out of training, trying to cry it all out and hoping to speed up the healing process from this - honestly extremely painful - heartbreak. There was a reason why people said not to date your coworkers and you really felt the consequences of that now, stomach turning at the sheer thought of having to see her again every single day at training. You dragged it out as long as you could, though you didn’t want to affect your body and fitness negatively so after a week you decided it had been enough and you needed to go back before you got put into recovery because of a too long break. 
Alexia had texted you every single day several times, often getting impatient - you doubted it was genuine worry - if you didn’t reply in a timely manner. You wished nothing more than to block her, disappear from the team and just never speak to her again. Though you knew that as your team captain you couldn’t just block her so you’d have to deal with the consequences of your actions.
You were still cursing yourself as you walked into the changing room, shoulders slumped and an unusual amount of makeup on your face as you had tried your hardest to hide the swollen and red eyes. 
“God you look awful.” Lucy was always not afraid to say it as it is, merely getting a hum in reply from you as you dropped yourself down on the bench to change into your boots.
You didn’t notice Alexia’s gaze on you, a worried frown etched into it at how incredibly wrecked you looked. She had been put off by how you had basically ignored her the whole week anyway, though she had thought that you were just trying to rest a lot and probably asleep most of the time. Now she was more and more certain that something was actually going on with you, it was hard not to notice with how you didn’t interact with anyone, gaze firmly on the ground most of the time. You weren’t joking around with your teammates and friends either , far from the usually so happy and bubbly person you normally were. 
Alexia’s frown didn’t leave her face as she tried to figure out what the problem was. You played pretty much perfectly, seemingly not physically bothered anymore by whatever exactly you had had. She broke her own rule of not making it obvious that something was between you two when she paired herself up with you, hoping to get a closer look and see if something was wrong. Once you were directly in front of her she saw how red and swollen your eyes were, how you didn’t even meet her eyes as you kicked the ball into the goal. You ignored her attempts at striking up a conversation, mumbling something about having to concentrate. 
In the meantime you were genuinely getting irritated with Alexia, still incredibly hurt by what she had said and how she was now acting like she cared. You had tried to hide the evidence of your countless hours of crying, annoyed that it was still very visible since even she had noticed - someone who apparently couldn’t care less about you. To then have her try to start a conversation with you was even worse, only serving you to kick the ball a lot harder than necessary into the net. The only positive was that you got praised by Jona for your efforts so shortly after you had come back, only nodding in reply as the only thing your brain could focus on were Alexia’s words on how you didn’t even come close to anyone else’s skill on this team. You had already been insecure about playing among several ballon d’or winners, Alexia of all people the one to assure you that you were more than capable. To have her, a player with countless trophies, think that you weren’t good enough was a nightmare come true. 
You felt embarrassed too as you stood next to her while stretching at the end of training, knowing that she had seen you during such intimate moments. The way she had taken you apart throughout, making you beg her to let you come before she comforted you afterwards, holding you close and praising you for taking it all so well, always checking in with you and ensuring you were okay. It bothered you to no end that you had given yourself to her in every way, that she had seen you naked and vulnerable, that you had cried into her arms after you had missed a penalty during an important game. She had assured you over and over that it was fine and nobody would judge you, knowing damn well that she didn’t think you were good enough for this entire team anyway. 
It was humiliating to think about, the way you had shown her your most intimate parts, completely exposed yourself to her. She had never done any of that, had never cried in front of you, had barely opened up about anything, had shut down any conversations about her father or sensitive topics immediately. Now you knew why: she had never planned to actually let you in and start a relationship with you anyway. 
The next days were lonely as you tried to figure out how to deal with all of this. You kept a very persistent Alexia at arm length, telling her that you just weren’t feeling that well right now. It wasn’t a lie even though it was the understatement of the century. You were a wreck, feeling lonelier than ever in the country you had moved to, to be with one of the best European teams you had ever seen. All of the friends you had made here were Alexia’s as well, every single one of them had been her friend first too. They would be on her side in all of this, no doubt about it in your mind. Why wouldn’t they? They probably also found you incredibly annoying, maybe they had all thought this entire time that you talked too much and that you were too loud and too enthusiastic. The thought made you even more embarrassed and it showed. You were far from the open and bubbly person you usually were, rejecting any attempt at conversation from anyone, ignoring Ingrid and Mapi or any of the others trying to ask what was going on, not telling Lucy or Keira either who were just as concerned. You barely replied to any of Alexia’s messages who tried her hardest to figure out what was going on, not opening the door when she came over and basically running from her whenever she came close to you during training. 
It took only four days until she had enough, knocking on the door and ringing the door bell for several minutes until you finally opened, not wanting to get into trouble with your neighbours.
She was quick to push herself inside, the door still open as she stood in the doorway, planning on finally talking to you. She wasn’t stupid, Alexia knew something was wrong and she was more than willing to comfort you. But she would be lying if she said that she wasn’t also very hurt about how you were shutting her out, you usually being so quick to come to her for comfort when something was going on and it was painful to see you push her away this time. This still on her mind she wasn’t the most gentle as she started speaking, still miffed about the past few days and your constant rejection. 
“Want to tell me why you’re acting like that?” 
You had barely any reaction to her words, them being far from as painful as what you had overheard in the changing room
a few days ago. 
“Acting like what?” 
You sounded almost hollow as you answered, the several nights and days spent crying were slowly really getting to you. 
“Like this. Ignoring me? Ignoring everyone else on the team?” 
“Why do you care?” You felt exhausted, regretting having ever opened the door as Alexia scoffed at your words and crossed her arms, staring down at you, now really feeling the anger in her rise up. If she was just a little more observant, a little less focused on her own hurt feelings at your rejection of her, she might have noticed your slumped shoulders, the dark circles under your eyes and how swollen they had been these past days. In a certain angle the light from above showed the tear tracks still visible on your cheeks from the last crying session 30 minutes ago. 
“Why do I care? Maybe because you’re being incredibly rude and I’m tired of it.” 
It wasn’t the most sensitive thing to say, Alexia once again failing at staying calm, her worry as often coming out as anger as she felt helpless at your refusal to open up. She wasn’t good at this, too used
to pushing her own emotions down time and time again, her worry and love for you mixing in an unhealthy way and therefore she sounded incredibly angry instead of admitting how worried she was about you. 
You only met her with a dry chuckle, not even bothering to reply. You felt almost numb, the only thing you could focus on was her hateful words and how she had spent months deceiving you and acting like she cared about you. Or maybe she hadn’t deceived you and you were just that unlikeable. 
A small push to your shoulders made you look back up at her. 
“Don’t ignore me! I want to know what’s going on, now.”   
“You made it quite clear that you prefer it when I’m quiet. Shouldn’t you be happy I’m not saying much?” 
She frowned, completely lost on what you meant and about to ask but you continued before she could. 
“I heard what you said in the changing room. To Ingrid. About how annoying I am and how I’m not good enough for the team, how you wish I was quiet.” 
Alexia’s eyes widened as she realised, remembering the conversation with Ingrid. The one where the Norwegian hadn’t bought a word she had said anyway. You had not only missed the black haired girl fiercely defending you but also how Ingrid had seen right through Alexia and told her that she knew what was going on between the two of you. She had warned her to be careful with her words, telling her Captain that you might overhear and misunderstand - not knowing that that had already happened. 
Alexia reached for your hand as she tried to bring her thoughts in order so she could explain but you moved away from her, crossing your arms so she couldn’t touch you. 
“I want you to leave. Don’t text me again.” 
“No, amor por favor I didn’t mean any of tha-“ 
“Save it.” Your words had a lot more bite in them now, you felt the anger in you rise up quickly. The sheer audacity of fooling
you like that, playing with you like you were some toy and then even talking about you like that to others - and not just anyway, to people you were also friends with. 
“I don’t want to hear it Alexia, leave.” 
“Please, just give me-“ 
“GO!” 
You had never yelled at her before, you would have never dared to either, the older woman with the stern face and firm voice way too intimidating for you. But you couldn’t care less right now, finally deciding to stand up for yourself as you were still convinced that she had just played with you this entire time. You pushed at her, something that would normally not move the way taller woman at all. You caught her off guard however, the few steps she stumbled back enough to close the door in her face. You ignored the ringing and knocking this time, moving away from the door to bury yourself in your bed as sobs wrecked through your body. As much as it hurt to hear her begging you to open the door and hear her out, nothing hurt more than knowing that you had given your heart and body to the wrong person. 
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girlgenius1111 · 8 days
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i always know what you need
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Alexia x R [soft and sweet] smut 18+ after a rough game, and a result you blamed on yourself, you ask Alexia to punish you. she has other ideas.
huge thank you to @occasionallyaurora for the inspiration 🙃
------
If there was one thing Alexia wished she could change about you, it would be your insistence to blame every bad result for the team on yourself. Granted, you did miss the penalty that would have won the game. And the goal scored by the other team had kind of been your fault. But it was an off day for you, and everyone had them. The rest of the team had every opportunity to push ahead, and they hadn’t been able to either. Would Alexia have blamed herself, if the roles were reversed? Most definitely. But as she watched you fight off tears while walking towards the tunnel after the game, Alexia could only think that she didn’t really care that you’d played poorly. All she cared about was making you smile again. 
Her hope that it would only take a few encouraging words from her to make you feel better faded quickly when you pulled away from her in the tunnel, heading right for the showers. You were able to avoid her through the rest of your post match routine, and when Alexia escaped media duties, it was to find that you’d already gotten on the bus. Of course, this match couldn’t have been in Barcelona, and Alexia couldn’t bring you back to her house and keep an eye on you. No, she had to rely instead on Mapi to console you, who you were rooming with. Speaking of the defender, she pulled Alexia to the side as the captain headed to the bus, a solemn expression on her face. 
“Switch with me tonight?” She asked. Alexia rolled her eyes; she was rooming with Ingrid. Of course Mapi wanted to switch. 
“María, are you really taking advantage of my girlfriend being upset so you and your girlfriend can break the rules in the hotel?” Alexia asked, tone biting and filled with annoyance. 
Mapi frowned at her friend. “No. Ingrid has a migraine and I want to stay with her. And I heard your girl crying in the shower. I was trying to be helpful.” 
Alexia sighed. Today was really not her day. “Sorry, amiga. Yeah, let’s switch, thank you.” It wasn’t taking you home, but it was better than lying awake in her hotel room, worried about you when you were just right down the hall. 
------
You were lost in your thoughts when Alexia sat next to you on the bus. She instantly wrapped her arm around your shoulder and pulled you into her, which surprised you a bit. Alexia liked to keep things professional, often going so far as to avoid touching you when you were all around the team. It seemed as though your need for her superseded her need to be perfectly professional at all times, though, because the way she kissed your forehead was far from friendly. 
“Mapi and I are switching rooms, vale? I stay with you tonight.” She murmured, her words heavily accented, as they always were when she tried to whisper. 
You wanted to deny her, rid her of the burden that you knew you would be this evening, but you couldn’t manage it, not when she was holding you so tightly, and when she smelled so comfortingly familiar. 
“Thank you.” You replied, well aware of how uncommon it was for Alexia to break the rules, even for you. 
Your girlfriend shook her head. “Do not thank me. I will always give you what you need.” 
It was with that thought that you began to think about what it was that you needed. By the time you reached the hotel, you were absolutely convinced you had the answer. 
------
Alexia was expecting you to cry upon return to your hotel room. Or, at least, pull Alexia into bed, bury your face in her chest, and try to go to sleep. Anything to avoid talking about it, and anything to avoid thinking about it. She was not expecting you to pounce on her the minute the door shut, her bag in hand, having just switched with Mapi. 
Regardless, she met your kiss eagerly, reaching down to lift you easily into her arms. You wrapped your legs around her waist, and wound your arms around your neck, completely intending to lose yourself in the feeling of her. She seemed to come to her senses after a few minutes though, pulling away somewhat breathlessly and settling you on the bed. 
“Let’s slow down, sí? You just played a full 90, we have to fly tomorrow…” she trailed off as you shook your head, pulling on her shirt to get her to climb on top of you. Alexia was a willful person, normally, but the one place that this was not the case was with you. Almost involuntarily, she leaned back down, allowing you to guide her lips towards yours. 
This time, when you broke the kiss, Alexia looked much more convinced to give in to what you clearly wanted, and what she wanted too, rules and logic be damned. 
That is, until you spoke, grabbing her hand and pulling it towards your throat. “Punish me.” You whispered, a desperate look on your face. 
Alexia instantly withdrew her hand, cupping your cheek instead, a very sad look on her face. “Mi amor, I do not know if that is a good idea.” 
“Please, Ale, I need you so bad. I can’t feel like this, I need you to punish me, please.” You begged, gripping her wrist and pulling it back towards your neck. 
She still didn’t look sure, so it surprised you when she nodded her head slowly. “What my girl needs, she gets.” She murmured, pressing her lips to yours once more. 
Alexia had no intention to punish you. She knew that wasn’t really what you needed, and she was determined to give you what you needed. So she let herself kiss you, for a while, until you began to get impatient and squirmy under her. She kept her kisses sweet and slow, withdrawing slightly every time you tried to get her to be a bit harsher.
“You aren’t being rough” You huffed impatiently, glaring up at Alexia’s face above you. She just hummed in response, returning her lips to your neck and suckling softly at the skin. “Ale,” you complained again. This time, she did respond, leaning up off you to look sternly into your eyes. 
“Who decides what I do? Is it you? Or is it me?” 
“You,” you replied softly. “But, Ale, I need-”
“Who decides what you need, amor? You? Or me?” You didn’t reply, only glaring up at her halfheartedly. She answered her own question when it became clear that you weren’t going to. “I do. And you are not being very nice to yourself today. So I will do that for you.” 
“Alexia I don’t deserve-” 
“Shh, amor. I know what you deserve. Now relax, and let me make you feel good, vale?” 
“Okay.” You replied softly, almost in a trance. Alexia could get you like that fairly easily, she just needed to say the right thing and pair her words with some intense eye contact, and you were ready to do whatever she asked of you. 
“Buena niña,” she breathed into your ear, her hand beginning to trail down your body. You didn’t acknowledge what she said, stiffening slightly at her words. You didn’t feel like her good girl, not right now. Alexia knew this, and she also knew that by the time she was done with you, you would feel like her good girl. 
Alexia sat up off you, pulling at your shirt. You stripped it off, your bra quickly following. 
“You are so beautiful.” Alexia said softly, her finger tracing a line down your abdomen, her eyes fixed on yours. 
You squirmed uncomfortably at her words, and Alexia tilted her head just slightly. “You are, amor. The most beautiful girl I have ever seen.” She reiterated, this time not waiting for a response before she began to kiss at your bare chest, working her way down your abdomen, and pausing at your shorts. 
“Do you want me?” She husked. As if you would ever say no to that question from her. 
“Yes, please.” 
“Then tell me that you are good.” Alexia said, resting her cheek on your lower abdomen, as if she knew it would take you a minute to get the words out. Looking at her from where you were propped up on your elbows, it was hard not to feel good, to feel beautiful. Alexia looked at you like you imagined people looked upon the Ark of the Covenant; like they knew they’d only have a short time to enjoy something so divine, and they weren’t planning on wasting a second. 
 You knew she wouldn’t move until you’d said what she wanted you to, and you decided to say it, even if it felt like a lie. 
“I am good.” You mumbled, so quietly Alexia almost didn’t hear you. 
“Perfecta,” Alexia smiled, finally sliding her fingers under the waistband of your shorts, and pulling them down. She pulled your underwear off, too, smiling to herself at the wet patch already on them; she’d never get over the effect she had on you. If it made her cocky, then it made her cocky; was she supposed to be humble when the most beautiful person she’d ever met always wanted her so desperately?
Much to your annoyance, Alexia didn’t immediately put her mouth on you. Instead, she switched her focus to your inner thighs, leaving light kisses up one, ghosting over where you really wanted her, and down the other leg. After her 2nd lap of this, you grew frustrated. 
“Please,” you whined, hoping that asking for what you wanted would get it.
“You said you wanted to be punished. This is your punishment, I am going to go slow until you are dripping for me.” Alexia replied, one finger teasing over your clit rather lightly, yet you still shuddered. 
“Am- am I not dripping for you already?” You grumbled, your words losing some edge to them when Alexia pressed down just barely, before retracting her hand. She grinned up at you rather smugly, finally pushing your legs further apart, and spreading you open. 
“Mmm, you are.” Alexia allowed. 
“Well then what- oh fuck,” you cut yourself off when Alexia buried her face in your pussy, lapping and licking at your folds like it was the last thing she’d ever do. The blonde’s tongue was unlike anything you’d ever experienced before, and you were quickly arching your back, and grinding yourself up into her face.
You were used to not being able to touch. To being tied up, or told to keep your hands off when Alexia got working on her favorite activity. You were used to having to tug at the restraints, or pull at the bedsheets, until the urge to grab Alexia’s head and pull her even closer eventually floated away, like everything always did when she fucked you. 
This time, though, Alexia grabbed your hands in hers, humming against you with pleasure at the sounds you were letting out, and placed them on her head, encouraging you to lace your fingers into her soft blonde hair. 
Once Alexia had done that, allowing you to set a rhythm of fucking yourself down against her tongue, holding her face where you wanted it, it was just a matter of minutes before your hands were tightening and you were getting louder and louder. 
Alexia knew she should care, your teammates were right next door, but she couldn’t bring herself to mind, not when you threw your head back against the bed, writhed underneath her, repeated her name over and over like it was the only word you remembered. 
“Ale, Ale, please, I’m so close,” you chanted, words broken up by breathy moans sliding easily out of your lips. 
“Let go, amor,” she said, barely withdrawing her mouth to speak, and the vibrations of her voice against your pussy did it, along with her lips attaching themselves to your clit and sucking, hard. 
“Fuck fuck fuck, jesus Alexia,” you cried, eventually pushing her head away when it became too much. You’d always been loud, and it never ceased to amaze Alexia how easily you let go when you came.  
Your girlfriend slid back up your body, hand settling over your core as you grinded softly down into it, still working through the aftershocks. Alexia kept her face close to yours, wanting to hear the desperate little whines and breaths that you always made after you came. 
“You sound so pretty when you come for me, do you know that? I love hearing you say my name.” Alexia told you. All you could do was wrap your arms tighter around her, and haul her in even closer as you came back into yourself. 
You whimpered slightly when Alexia’s fingers abruptly dragged through your core, your mouth falling open almost on instinct when she raised her hand up to your mouth. 
“Taste yourself.” She instructed, pushing her 2 large fingers right past your parted lips. You sucked on them eagerly, more interested in having something of Alexia’s inside your mouth than you were with tasting yourself. 
“Buena, tómelo todo,” she hummed, not embarrassed in the slightest at how good it felt to have you suck eagerly on her fingers. “Tan buena, mi niña, la niña mas perfecta del mundo,” 
The whine you let out at that let Alexia know just how desperately you needed to hear her praise you. She didn’t have much time to think on that, though, before your hand was pulling hers away from your face, and directing it back between your legs. 
“More,” you said softly, blushing when you felt Alexia smirk into your neck.
“You want more? You want my fingers in that perfect pussy?” She teased, loving the way your whole chest and neck turned red at her words. 
“Sí, I need your fingers.” You told her, tilting your neck to the side when she nibbled slightly on the skin there. 
“Anything for you,” Alexia mumbled, pulling both her hand and mouth away from you in a way that felt rather contradictory to her statements. When she flipped you around, though, and pulled you up the bed to settle in between her legs, your back to her chest, you realized why. If you were blushing before, you weren’t sure what you were doing now could be described as. Maybe turning permanently red. 
On the wall just across from you was a full length mirror, rather obscenely placed so that most of the first bed was visible in it. Alexia wanted you to watch. You didn’t want to watch, at least not watch yourself. 
“Gonna fuck you now,” the blonde whispered, frowning slightly when you shut your eyes and turned your head slightly to hide your face against her neck. “No, amor, you are going to watch.” 
“Alexia,” 
“You are going to watch.” She insisted. “You are beautiful, and perfect, and you have nothing to be ashamed of. I want you to see yourself like I do. Falling apart on my fingers, and screaming my name.” 
You felt like you were getting whiplash with how quickly she was switching between being almost painfully sweet, and being painfully filthy. 
“Can you do that, mi niña bonita? Can you watch yourself take my fingers?” 
“I can.” You muttered, feeling Alexia grab your chin and turn your head back towards the mirror. You were spread open wide, your cunt glistening in the dim lighting of the room, one of Alexia’s large hand holding your leg back.
A soft “good” was all you got before Alexia was sliding her hand down your stomach, right down to your entrance, tracing two fingers over it before easily sliding them in. Her fingers were absurdly large, and it was a bit of a stretch, even with how wet you were, and she kept them still for almost a full minute, before your body was very unsuccessfully trying to grind down on them. 
“Look at you,” Alexia cooed, beginning to pump her fingers in and out. She filled you so perfectly, it was almost mesmerizing to see, if not slightly embarrassing to see yourself drip all over the sheets. “Taking me so well. You are so wet. Do you want another finger, bonita?” 
You could only nod frantically, all your energy focused on not looking away. 
When Alexia slipped her third finger in, you grabbed on to her forearm tightly, breaths leaving your mouth rapidly. 
“Look at your tight pussy, taking 3 fingers.” 
“Ale,” you mumbled, the only coherent thought you were able to form at this point. Alexia was making you feel good, and Alexia was all you wanted; what else was there to say?
“Sí, tell me how good you feel,” she encouraged. 
You took a few stuttering deep breaths, trying not to let the wet sounds of her fingers sliding in and out of your cunt to distract you. 
“S-so good, baby, you make me feel so fucking good,” you managed, feeling Alexia speed up at your words. You realized your eyes had shut, and you forced them back open, not wanting your girlfriend to stop, not when you were so close. 
Alexia fucked you harder, her hand making a loud smack when it connecting with your body, her fingers sounding almost pornographic as the moved inside of you. The blonde began to curl her fingers, which were long enough to brush perfectly over the spot deep inside of you that made your toes curl. 
“Ale, your fingers- on my, shit,” you tried, unable to get the words out. Luckily, your girlfriend knew just what you were asking for. 
“So good, asking for what you need.” She praised, moving her other hand from your leg over to your core, instantly circling your clit, rubbing eagerly against it with the perfect amount of pressure. 
“Ale, coming,” you managed, your back arching up off Alexia’s chest, thighs clenching around her hand. Your walls tightened so much that Alexia could barely move inside of you, and the volume at which you screamed her name was sure to bring a lot of teasing both of your ways tomorrow, but Alexia didn’t care. Not when she made you feel good. Not when she made you come so hard, all you could do afterward was flop back down onto her body, panting heavily. 
Her fingers eventually removed themselves from deep inside of you, and Alexia quietly shushed the whimper you let out at the sensation. Her less messy hand rubbed comforting circles over your stomach, and her lips pressed kiss after kiss to your cheek. You didn’t really notice any of this. You felt it all happen, but you were much to content to remain completely fucked out for the time being. 
Though one thought did break through the haze, and you tried to move your hands down Alexia’s body, muttering something about her not having a turn yet. 
“No, tonight is for you. You are all done, amor, it is okay.” She encouraged, feeling you relax back into her. You laid there for a few more minutes, feeling every inch of your skin pressed up against Alexia’s, and thinking somewhere in your brain that there was no better sensation. 
Eventually, Alexia very carefully slid out from under you, promising that she’d be right back, before she disappeared briefly into the bathroom. You could only groan in response, already wishing that she was back in contact with you. 
When she did return, it was to delicately pick you up, cradle you close to her chest, and carry you into the bathroom. She tried to lower you into the bath she’d drawn, but you wouldn’t let go of her. 
“Don’t let go, please.” You requested, and Alexia smiled softly, stepping into the tub with you. She laid you carefully on her chest, hoping the warm water would revive you some. 
It did, and only a few minutes later, you turned your head, resting your chin on your girlfriend’s chest, looking up at her with an adoring expression on your face. 
“Hi you,” she whispered, the English phrase she’d picked up from you making you smile yourself. 
“Hola,” you replied, and she laughed quietly. 
“Thank you. For knowing what I needed. And knowing what I didn’t.” You said, the mood suddenly a lot more serious. 
“Always.” She promised. “Do you want to talk about it?” 
“Not really. I just want to be here with you.” You stated carefully, cheeks flushing at the way Alexia’s entire face seemed to soften and melt at your words. 
“Okay, amor. It is important to me that you know, though. I always love you. You are always good. Even if you have a bad match. Even if you have 100 bad matches. I love you the same. Forever, I love you the same. Okay?” 
There were tears falling down your face when you responded, tears that Alexia easily wiped away. 
“I love you.” 
“Te amo mucho mucho mucho,” she promised, leaning down to press a soft kiss to your lips. 
You’d never get over this intimacy. The ease with which you let Alexia see every ugly part of you. And the ease with which she met everything you hated about yourself with overflowing amounts of love. Alexia loved you more than you could ever hate yourself. 
-------
this entered my brain and refused to leave :)
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nenan · 2 months
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Jeanne photographed by Hélène Tchen Cardenas, makeup by Alexia Amzallag
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woso-dreamzzz · 4 days
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Injured IX
Alexia Putellas x Child!Reader
Jenni Hermoso x Child!Reader
Summary: Things get worse before they can get better
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Two days after you and Jaume are admitted into hospital, several different things happen.
One: Jenni's manager calls and tells her that she can only take a maximum of two more weeks leave and that she needs to return to Mexico within the month.
Two: Jaume gets much better, very quickly. He's practically good as new and he's allowed out of his room for short periods of time.
Three: The pottery place lets Alexia know that her mug and your train are ready so she goes to pick them up.
Four: She comes back with your ceramic train and drops it on the floor in horror when she sees you being intubated.
'She took a turn for the worse' they tell her. 'We've upped her medication and she should be fine in a few days', they say but all Alexia can think about is the shattered train on the floor and how tiny you look in your bed.
You're moved to the ICU and remain motionless and asleep for days on end. Therein lies the second problem.
The ICU nurses are stricter than the nurses in the peds wing. They say only the legal guardians can go into your room.
You have no father. You had no other mother either, not legally anyway.
You have just Alexia. Just Alexia who can sign off on treatment plans. Just Alexia who can sign you out and be given updates about your condition.
Just Alexia who can go and sit by your bedside and sob.
It was supposed to be a good day. Jaume was better. You were going to get your train.
It's all ruined now and all Alexia can do is sob.
Jenni sobs too.
She can't see you. She can't even enter the ICU. She can do nothing but loiter in the waiting room.
She had nowhere else to go.
Eli and Alba can go and see Jaume but Jenni has nothing to do with Jaume. She just has you.
You who is intubated and asleep in the ICU. You who she had pinned down and so cruelly not explained anything to. You who was still so small and scared and stuck in hospital while Jenni would have to return to Mexico very, very soon.
"How is she?"
Jenni's ex looks away. Alexia looks exhausted, worse than Jenni's ever seen her before. There are bags under her eyes. Her hair looks unbrushed. Her clothes are crumpled.
"The doctors are optimistic," Is Alexia's answer," They think she's fighting really well. They..." Alexia's throat bobs. "They think she'll be strong enough to come off it in a day or two."
"And she can have visitors again?"
"Maybe not as quickly," Alexia explains," I think we should be conservative. Maybe not even until she's fully healthy again. I think-"
"Alexia, I have to leave soon."
Alexia breaks off. "What?"
"Back to Mexico. I've delayed it as long as I can. By the end of the month, I need to be gone again."
"What are you talking about?" Alexia still can't wrap her mind around it. "Back to Mexico? Bambi's still sick."
"I know!" Jenni snaps. "I know, Alexia. And you need to make a decision."
"A decision? Jenni, what are you talking about?"
"You need to put someone else on her papers. You've seen those doctors. We don't get told anything. It's dangerous."
"Jenni-"
"What if Bambi breaks her arm? Me or Olga bring her to hospital and they can't do anything because we're not legal guardians. What would have happened if they couldn't get a hold of you after they intubated her? They can't change treatment plans without parental consent."
"I-"
Jenni sighs, long and drawn out. "I know you have a lot on your plate, Alexia. I know, I do but this is about Bambi and what she deserves and she deserves two people on that birth certificate."
Jenni doesn't say what she wants to say. She doesn't say that she desperately wants you as her own. She doesn't say that she thinks in the deepest, most malicious part of her brain that Alexia has already ruined whatever relationship you had beyond repair. She doesn't say that she thinks a new start in Mexico would be best for you.
She doesn't say that she's already looked at a ballet academy near her apartment and that her club has some of the best childcare options she's seen in a long time.
Jenni doesn't say anything more.
She just turns on her heel and walks out.
Out of Alexia's company, out of the waiting room, out of the hospital.
She doesn't say anything until she's in her car and sobbing into her steering wheel.
Her words float through Alexia's brain even as she sits in Jaume's room with him.
He looks much better than before. The rash is gone. He's moving around again.
The only evidence that he was ever sick at all is the IV still attached to his hand, feeding antibiotics into his body to make sure it's fully gone.
"Something funny, little man?" Alexia coos as he giggles uncontrollably," What so funny, huh? What so funny?" She bounces him gently at each word and Jaume giggles even more.
"The little man's happy he's getting out of here in a few days," Olga says, hooking her chin over Alexia's shoulder," Isn't that right, Jaume? Is that why you're so giggly today?"
Jaume giggle in answer, kicking his feet out.
"Look at these kicks," Alexia coos," My little footballer, huh? Are you going to captain Spain? I think you are!"
"Your Mama and sister went home," Olga says," They'll be here early tomorrow, like always."
"Jenni went as well."
Olga goes to sit in the chair next to Alexia's, frowning. "That's unlike her. I swear, I thought she was going to sneak into the ICU yesterday."
"She told me that she needs to go back to Mexico soon," Alexia says," She's delaying it for as long as possible."
"All for our Bambi?" Olga hums," She really loves her."
"Yeah," Alexia says," She does."
Alexia is in awe of Jenni sometimes. Jenni has always loved you, Alexia thinks. Jenni's always been a part of your life even when Alexia didn't have the energy to care for herself. Jenni had always been there.
Alexia doesn't think she'll ever understand just how much Jenni adores you. You make the planets spin for Jenni. You hang the stars and the moon and sometimes, like now, Alexia wonders if she'll ever be able to live up to that.
If she'll ever be able to give you the life you deserve.
She doesn't want to give you up. Selfishly, she wants a life where she can hold both you and Jaume in bed with her. She wants a life where she can go to Jaume's football matches and your ballet recitals. She wants a life where she can win a Champion's League and see you running onto the pitch to celebrate with her.
But she doesn't know if that's the life you want.
She doesn't know if that's the life you deserve, constantly being shepherded from one thing to another, constantly living in fear that you'll be left behind again.
Alexia knows a life with Jenni, where you're the centre of her world, would be good for you too. But, still, Alexia can't help but let her heart flutter at hearing Olga call you 'our Bambi'.
'Our Bambi'.
Hers and Alexia's.
If you went with Jenni then you would be just Jenni's, no matter if Alexia kept her name on your birth certificate. You would be half a world away. She would see you when Jenni returned for international duty. She would see you a few weeks every year and Alexia doesn't know how she could cope with that.
Alexia doesn't know how she would explain to Jaume about the sister he never sees.
Alexia is your mother and she needs to do what is best for you, despite how selfish she wants to be.
She needs to decide if she can still give you the best life possible or if letting Jenni raise you is truly what will give you the best chance possible.
"Ale?" Olga asks softly, shaking her," You're crying."
Alexia swipes the tears away. "I was just thinking about Bambi. I should probably get back to her. The doctors keep saying that she won't even notice but-"
"But you should still sit with her," Olga says," She deserves to have some company. Here." Olga reaches into her bag.
She pulls out your ceramic train, the one Alexia shattered on the floor after seeing you with a tube down your throat.
"It's still missing a few pieces," Olga explains," But I tried my best. I thought you could put it at her bedside."
Alexia takes it gently, cradling it in her hands. Olga's right. There's still little chips and Alexia can very clearly see where Olga has glued the broken pieces together.
It's still fractured and broken but it's perfect.
"I love you," Alexia chokes out," I love you."
"I love you too," Olga says," Just as I love our kids. Go, Ale. Sit with her. Me and the little man will be right here."
The sun glints on your ceramic train for nearly a week until you wake up.
The doctors keep you asleep until they're certain that the meningitis is gone.
Jaume gets to go home with Olga the day before you get woken up.
There's a crowd outside your room early the next day and Alexia is the only one allowed in.
"We've taken the tube out," The doctors explain," And she'll be coming out of the anaesthesia soon. She'll be a little disorientated and emotional but once she's up, give it an hour or two, we'll check her hearing and her strength and if it all goes well then she should be out of here by late afternoon."
"How likely is it that her hearing's being affected?"
"Meningitis is known to cause hearing loss but I'm optimistic. Despite what's happened, she's fought it every step of the way. There's a good chance she comes out of this without any lasting effects."
"And once she's up? I can let people in?"
The doctor glances over at the assembled crowd. "Only one or two in the room at a time. We don't want to overwhelm her."
"Thank you."
"I'll be back soon."
Alexia retakes her seat at your side, holding your hand gently in her own. Your little hands are perfect to hold in her own. You could probably hold just a finger and it would still be bigger than your whole hand.
"I love you," Alexia whispers as she presses a soft kiss to your forehead," I love you so, so much, Bambi. You're all better now. You just need to wake up."
You don't come to for another thirty minutes or so and, when you finally do, it's slowly.
"Mami," You say," My throat hurts."
Alexia can't help the worried laughter that bubbles out of her throat. It's half in relief and half in how disgruntled you look.
"Mami?"
"Here, Bambi," She says," Sit up. Let's have a little drink."
She holds the glass as you sip the water. You lean easily into the comfort Alexia's offering, your head resting on her shoulder
"Wha's goin' on, Mami?"
"You were sick," Alexia says," But you're better now and you get to leave if everything's okay."
Your brow wrinkles. "I..." Your eyes dart around and Alexia suddenly realises what the doctor meant by you being emotional. "I want Mama! Mama! Want-Want Mama!"
Tears spill down your cheeks and Alexia knows exactly who you want.
She shouldn't take it personally. She knows you're sad and overwhelmed and you're reaching out for comfort for the person that you can't see.
Alexia knows this is normal. She's been told this is normal and yet-
Alexia pushes away her feelings, tucking you into the blankets and pressing a kiss to your cheek that you clearly welcome. "I'll get you Jenni," She promises," Just give me a second."
She pokes her head out of the door.
"Jenni," Alexia says, voice emotionless," She needs you."
Jenni's looking more relieved than Alexia's ever seen her before as she rushes into the room.
"Mama," You say, brow wrinkled and looking up at her with wet, puppy dog eyes," You hurt me."
"I hurt you?" Jenni echoes as she takes Alexia's seat," When did I hurt you, Bambi?"
"When the bad man touched my back and you held my legs."
"I'm sorry, Bambi," Jenni says gently," That was wrong of me. I'm very, very sorry."
You're still confused. Your brain feels like it's full of cotton, all fuzzy and weird like that time the tv made that weird noise and went all staticky.
You lay back down. Your head bounces a little from the force you've thrown it back into your pillow with.
Everything's all jumbled and confused and you gently take Ma-Jenni's hand in your own. She's got big hands with fingers you can wrap your whole hand around and still have your hand be too small.
You know someone else like that, you think and your brain strains to think of who it is.
You get glimpses.
Big hands. A Barcelona kit. Gentle strokes down your back and kisses on your forehead when you're sad.
"Mami," You croak out even as Ma-Jenni climbs into bed with you and cradles you against her body.
Mami was with you earlier. You can remember that. You lift your head to see where she's gone but you can't see her anywhere.
"Mama," You say, tugging on Ma-Jenni's shirt as tears still drip down your cheeks," Mami's gone! Mami's gone again!"
You don't know that Alexia's crying too.
In the bathroom down the hall, staring at herself in the mirror and only seeing your own tearful face reflected back at her.
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skipper1331 · 4 months
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Reputation // Alexia Putellas
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a/n: based off this request.
Alexia Putellas.
La reina.
Queen of football.
Fan favorite - everybody’s favorite.
It was simple: Alexia doesn’t get rejected.
Or so everyone thought. While in fact, Alexia was asked out often, she was usually the one who would decline the offer. Most of them not interested in her as a person but as the media girl.
Yet that didn‘t stop her from having fun, very fun nights.
Alexia Putellas had a reputation - the fuck girl.
Which is why everybody warned you about her.
"Keep your distance"
"She‘s no good"
"She has a reputation"
"A teammate nothing more"
-
Alexia’s eyes follow you as you entered the gym.
You looked good, the barca gear made you glow.
"Don‘t even think about it" Lucy warned, stepping in front of Alexia. Lucy’s eyes narrowed as she glared at la reina. The midfielder looked confused before a smirk grew on her face, realizing what the defender meant. "I‘m warning you, Alexia. Do not dare" the english growled.
"I‘m not doing anything" she grinned, eyes back on you as she watched you talking to Patri.
Lucy was aware of Alexias bad reputation and she knew that the sunshine you were, it was most likely for Alexia to shoot her shot. But Lucy would be damned if she didn‘t try to stop it.
The defender and you always had a close relationship, you had played together at City and for the lionesses. Lucy had to protect you. There was no bad cell in your body, you were a ray of sunshine - smiley, sweet and positive. She’d never forgive herself if anything happens to you.
-
"Enjoying Barcelona?" a voice asked, a hand touching your back before they sat down. Alexia.
The team was out in a restaurant as they celebrated Fridos birthday.
"It‘s nice here" you answered. The older woman chuckled, "here" handing you a drink.
"Oh, I don‘t dri-" you tried to explain before the midfielder cut you off, "it‘s water" she smiled, scooting closer.
What both of you failed to notice was the glare that Lucy sent Alexia, the way her eyes burnt holes in the captains head. Yet what Lucy failed to notice was the blush that started to cover your cheeks, Alexias gaze wandering over your features. "Tell me about yourself, y/n" she smiled softly, sipping on her own drink.
The night was about to start.
-
"When did you leave last night?" Lucy asked as she walked beside you towards the pitch.
"I don‘t know, actually. I left with Ale" you replied.
Lucy stopped in her tracks, grabbing your wrist, "what did you say?!"
"She drove me home"
"That‘s it?"
"That‘s it" you confirmed.
"Stay away from her, she‘s not the girl you think she is"
Again something you had heard more than once before.
-
"Hey" the Catalonian greeted, pressing a kiss to your cheek. In respond, you blushed furiously, shyly looking to the ground as the girl giggled at your behavior. "You look pretty" she flirted, eyeing you up and down. Something about the way the Barca outfits hugged your body made her heart race, skin tingle and mind spin with thoughts of what she wanted to do with you.
"Thank you. You look also nice" you smiled. The simple smile you sent Alexia made heart her burst with emotion. She wanted to make you smile everyday.
Just as she was about to ask what you‘re going later, a certain English defender called your name.
"I have to go" you stated, walking to Lucy. The captain growled, Lucy was getting on her last nerve.
-
In the bus, you starred out of the window as you waited for your bus buddy.
you loved the bus, something about the rides and the bonding made it so special. While you weren‘t one of the louder ones, you loved to observe everybody on the bus.
In the front, coach and staff, talking and analyzing.
In the middle the quieter ones, the ones who enjoy reading, studying or sleeping.
And in the back, the extroverts, the ones who would never shut up and couldn‘t sit still.
It surprised you when you felt a different presence next to you, not the one who it was usually. A familiar scent hit your nostrils, a scent you learned to like, a scent that made you inhale sharply.
"Hola" Alexia greeted, slumping down in the seat next to you. You looked around, searching for your bus buddy who was sitting next to Alexia’s bus buddy, shrugging her shoulders at your questioning look. "What are you doing here?" you asked rather harshly.
Alexia gulped, "do you not want me here?"
"N-no. I- um" nervously you scratched the back of your neck, "you usually don‘t sit next to me" you smiled shyly.
"But now I want to" she explained, her eyes searching for any sign of discomfort. There was none. "I watched the movie you recommended"
"Did you like it? Who‘s your favorite character?" question after question left your mouth. Each one la reina answered happily. She loved talking to you, how passionate you got and how interested you seemed to be in whatever other people said.
-
Alexia couldn’t stay away from you.
Not when you smiled at her, the way you do.
Not when you laughed, the way you do.
Not when you just existed.
Her mind was consumed by the thoughts of you. Everything you did made her heart race.
Alexia Putellas, la reina, the queen of football, was falling you.
And even though she was known for her fun nights and had a bad reputation because of that, ever since you had entered her life it stopped. She didn‘t look nor acknowledge other women, she only had eyes for you.
-
Movie night at Patri‘s.
You arrived exhausted, eyes already heavy as you took a seat on the bean bag. The team was gathered around the living room, the curtains closed as snacks were standing on the coffee table. You didn‘t know why you were so tired, you just were. It didn‘t take long for your eyes to fully close. As your body started to lean down, almost falling off the bean bag, Alexia reacted without a second thought. Quickly, she left her seat on the couch and kneeled next to you. Instead of your head falling against the floor, it fell against her chest. The girls were too occupied by the movie to even notice the change - besides Lucy. The English woman watched the scene in front of her, Alexia scooping your small figure up and positioning the two of you on the bean bag, her arms securely around you, your head resting against her chest as she looked down at you, a loving smile across her features.
For once, Lucy didn‘t glare at the midfielder but had a small smile on her face. Maybe Alexia was indeed not the person who she thought she was.
-
Barcelona was facing Athletic Bilbao and while you were in the starting eleven, Alexia rested on the bench.
The game didn’t start the way she wanted it to - too much chaos. It didn‘t ease her nerves either that every time you had the ball, you were smashed to the ground a second after. It made her mad actually, furios even. In her mother tongue she started to curse, at first it was just an angry whisper until it turned into mad shouting. What the fuck was wrong with that ref?! Was he blind?
"Calm down, he already warned you" Lucy told her firmly, pulling her back to her seat. "She‘s getting hurt!" the midfielder huffed, crossing her arms.
"I know" it took every inch of self-control in her body not to join Alexia‘s shouting.
The Catalonian looked at Lucy, eyes so full of helplessness, "this is personal" she whispered.
With raised brows, Lucy questioned Alexia‘s statement. What was personal? How? "Look at number 6. We have, um, history?"
"You fucked her?"
"Yes"
"And she wanted more but you didn‘t even remember her name?"
"yeah…"
Lucy turned away, her gaze back on the pitch - observing
"She is different" Alexia whispered, "I don‘t know. My heart is- so incredibly happy by just seeing her smile. I want to make her smile. I think I’m in love-"
Just as Alexia was about to admit her love for you, something she had never done nor felt before, Lucy and the whole bench jumped from their seats, yelling furiously.
Harsh tackle.
Your ankle connecting with cleats. Cleats who belonged to number 6.
Your body was shaking violently while you clutched your ankle, crying. The girls on the field tried their best to comfort you, medics already examining your foot. Nervously Lucy and Alexia walked along the sidelines, biting their nails. Even though anger flashed through their bodies, their one priority was your well-being and it didn‘t look like you were feeling well, not at all. The decision was clear: you‘re coming off. Mariona and Marta supported you as you hobbled with tear stained cheeks off the field, where Alexia and Lucy immediately took over their part.
-
Thankfully, it wasn‘t something too serious. The medics gave you a boot and crutches, so you wouldn‘t injure your foot any further on your way back to Barcelona.
Relief washed over the teams body as they saw you back with them, smiling. That tackle looked harsh and nothing but a yellow card was shown. "Should‘ve been a red" some of the girls grumbled as you joined their huddle before they swarmed out, interacting with fans.
"Little one, how are you feeling?" the English defender asked, looking at you skeptically. "I‘m alright, just need to rest" you stated.
Alexia watched you from afar while she talked to one of the medics. She had to know everything - down to the detail. She addressed it as captain duties, what was best for her team but in reality, she needed to know for her sake. Were you alright? When will your recovery start? How will your treatment look like? Will you be back for the el Classico (not because she wanted your talent too rushed back on the field but because she knew how much the el Classico meant to you.) Alexia asked every question that popped up in her mind and even though the medic was annoyed because most of her questions were already answered, just a little bit differently explained, he was happy that she cared for you so deeply.
Though when a third person entered your conversation with Lucy, she became alert, her latest question long forgotten. "What the fuck" she growled, marching over to where you were, arm snuggling around your waist as she glared at number 6. you gasped slightly at the cold yet gentle touch around your back.
"Alexia" the woman said, to which Alexia only gave a nod.
"Can I talk to you for a minute in private?" number 6 asked you nicely, ignoring the murderous glare Alexia sent her, who was joined by Lucy‘s glare. "Sure" you replied, walking out of earshot.
"Lo siento" she started, gesturing to your boot, "I didn’t mean to" she apologized sincerely, "how bad is it?"
La reina was going crazy - why the fuck was she standing so close to you? Even worse, touching your arm! Jealousy filled her body, a deep frown displayed on her face. It only deepened when you started giggling with the enemy.
"Are you not going to do something about it?" Lucy asked, crossing her arms.
"I absolutely will!" when number 6 pressed a kiss to your cheek, the midfielder lost it. Within seconds she was by your side, shielding you from the other woman who was way too close to you. "You can go now!" she growled, intimidating number 6.
She left.
She wouldn‘t risk it to fight la reina.
"Hey! I was talking to her" you grumbled.
"She was kissing you!"
"She apologized"
"By kissing you?!" her voice level raised, fingers resting at the bridge of her nose.
Everything started getting too much for Alexia, why was she so angry? why couldn’t she control her emotions? She always could! Why not now?!
"I have to go"
As quickly as she had appeared, she disappeared again.
-
Alexia avoided you on the way back to Barcelona. Like she used to she sat with her friends in the back, your bus buddy next to you. La reina seemed to have forgotten you existed, occupied by other things - though that wasn‘t true at all. For the midfielder there was no one else existing but you.
She felt the urge to sit next to you, explain herself and to wash that stupid kiss off your cheek - to pepper her own kisses all over your face. She did none of it, she just watched you in silence while the girls talked and talked and talked.
-
The bus arrived in Barcelona hours later, it was already dark outside, only a few cars left on the road. Every girl was eager to get out of the bus and go home, the day has been long and everybody was exhausted.
You were standing in the bus, waiting for everybody to get out, Alexia behind you. Occasionally, her hand would brush against yours as you waited for the girls in front of you to exit the bus. Your breath hitched when you felt Alexia’s pinky intertwine with yours - you didn‘t turn to her, your gaze fixed on Mapi‘s back. The only reaction she got was the blush that arose on your cheeks which you quickly covered with coughing. "You alright?" Mapi asked, holding her arm out to help you down the stairs as your crutches were safely stored away near the suitcases. "Yeah, thank you" you smiled.
With sad eyes, Ale watched you leave.
-
"How is your ankle?" the Catalonian asked, watching you walk out of the physio room.
"It‘s good. I don‘t have to rest anymore" you replied sweetly, happy to be able to train with the team again. "that‘s great" the captain stated, following your steps to the changing room. She wanted to say so much yet no words left her mouth. The effect you had on her was something she never experienced before. It wasn‘t just your smile or laugh that made her heart race, every time she was near you her knees went weak, her palms got sweaty and she became a nervous wreck.
-
The el Classico win felt euphoric. A 5-0 win, wow. Barca had destroyed Real and the team couldn‘t be happier.
It was an unspoken rule for the team to celebrate after winning against Real Madrid. Which is why the team met at their local club, all of the girls dressed up, ready to eat, drink and dance.
You considered not to go - you weren‘t the type of person who enjoyed going out much but then again, dressing up, eating and little bit of dancing didn’t sound too bad, did it?
That‘s how you found yourself in the filled club, friends and strangers around you. You sat next to Patri and Pina, talking about something when Alexia joined the table again. She looked breathtaking, her outfit hugged her body perfectly - everybody was drooling, including you.
Throughout the night numerous people asked her to dance or for her number, each time she would decline politely, searching for your eyes shortly after. She wanted to talk to you, so desperately.
As another woman appeared who started talking to Alexia, even laughing with her, you left the table, "I’m getting something to drink, does anybody want something?" you asked.
Making your way over to the bar, you took a seat on one of the bar stools, "one water, vodka on ice, a martini and mojito, please" you ordered.
Alexia watched you like hawk, the rather abrupt leaving and the quick steps catching her attention.
She wanted to follow you, she really wanted to - she didn‘t.
You came back with all of the wished drinks, walking past la reina and the girl she was talking to.
"Let‘s dance!" Ona suddenly yelled, grabbing your wrist and pulling you on the dance floor, the girl already more than just tipsy. Nonetheless, you accepted her dragging you to the dance floor, arms around your neck as she danced. "Arms around my waist, chica!" you did as she wished, not having a clue about dancing but happily doing whatever the younger girl requested. It was her first derby win, let the girl celebrate.
La reina didn‘t enjoy that at all. Seeing the young defenders arms all over you and the close dancing made her burst with emotion. That should be her. She should be dancing with you. Nobody should talk to her besides you.
It should be you and her.
"Fuck it" walking over to you, the midfielders arms snuggled around your waist, pulling you against her front as you left Ona‘s touch completely. "Can I steal her for a moment?" Alexia asked in her mother tongue, smiling nicely at her national teammate who nodded, continuing her dancing.
"You look so beautiful, mi amor" she whispered in your ear. You looked at her with wide eyes, frowning.
"Did I say something wrong?"
"You‘re-" you cut yourself off, not knowing what to say, "Just- leave me alone" left your lips. Wiggling out of her grasp, you walked towards the exit, Alexia close behind. Outside the club, she gently grabbed your wrist, "what do you mean with that?"
"Leave me alone! What game are you playing, hm?!"
"Que?"
"Don‘t you think I know about your little reputation? Barcelonas star footballer loves to fuck random girls" you gritted through your teeth, hidden feelings bubbling up.
"I‘ve been warned about you. And I ignored each warning because you were so nice and caring." you told her, the captain taking back by your sudden outburst, "I don‘t want to be part of your stupid reputation!"
"Stop talking" the midfielder stopped you, face stern, "fuck, do you think I‘d use you?!"
"I don’t know what to think! In one second you‘re getting mad at me because someone kissed my cheek, then you ignore me and then you‘re so lovely, just to talk to some woman again! You‘re so confusing!"
"I haven’t looked at other women since you joined Barca! You‘re the only person I want to look at!" she inhaled sharply before she dropped your hands, resting her forehead against yours, "I don’t want to be confusing" her hands found their place on your waist.
"Are you going home with that woman?"
It was the question that had bothered you the whole night, you just had to know. "No, of course not. She‘s a friend from Alba. I haven’t- you know, not since you‘re here." la reina admitted, "I‘m in love with you and this is all so new, I don’t know how to do this but I’m willing to learn."
You stared at her, was this real? Your heart was racing, breath hitching at the slightest movement of Alexia’s hands, her breath fanning - so close to you.
"No"
"No?"
"No."
Taking a step back, you left her embrace. This was too much - you couldn’t think straight. You wanted to believe her, you really did but you had to protect yourself. You couldn’t be one of her flings. It would hurt too much, to see her and knowing what you‘ve done.
"I‘m sorry, Alexia"
you left without turning back.
You felt your heart hammer in your chest, already regretting your choice, the sad look on Alexia’s face haunting you.
Her eyes followed you until you were out of sight. She felt numb. She sat down on the nearest bench, head resting in her hands as she tried to contain herself.
She wanted to cry, she wanted to go home, she wanted to hide under duvet the rest of her life. She embarrassed herself and that wasn‘t who she was.
She was Alexia Putellas.
La reina.
Queen of football.
Fan favorite - everybody’s favorite, just not your favorite.
From all the names she‘d been called, your favorite would have been the best - the greatest honor, actually.
"Hey, are you alright?" a thick english accent asked, sitting down next to her.
"Sí! Sí, I’m good, i‘m good" she rushed out as she looked up, wiping away the tears that had left her eyes just seconds ago. "What‘s happened?" Lucy asked.
"She- she rejected me" Ale whispered, shoulders sagging - exhaustion written over her features.
The defender was silent for a few minutes, letting Alexia calm down and gather her thoughts.
"You know, you can’t blame her" Lucy explained, "your reputation isn‘t the best"
"I don’t blame her. It just hurts so much"
the english woman laid her arm around the midfielders shoulder, trying to comfort her. Lucy knew you liked her but you feared that you‘d be a someone on her list. Also, she knew how awful it felt to get rejected. "She‘s scared"
"Of me?"
"Of your past"
The Catalonian gulped, why had she been so stupid? Why did she build up a reputation? She hated herself for it. All she wanted was you. You weren‘t like the girls whose namens she couldn‘t even remember. You were so, so much more.
She remembered everything you once told her.
She remembered the way you like your coffee and tea.
She remembered your favorite book, movie and show.
She remembered your stories.
She knew which flowers you liked.
She knew that you didn‘t like drinking.
She knew every detail about the things you told her.
"She‘s special" the Barcelona captain stated, firm with her words as she spoke facts.
"Show her."
-
Over the next few weeks, Ale did what Lucy told her to. She showed you how much she respected you, bought you flowers and did little things. She‘d tie your shoes, she‘d refill your glass, and so on. She did everything in her power to make you realize that she was worth a chance - that her past didn’t define her. And that she won‘t continue this path.
-
"How are you feeling about the win and the teams performance?" the interviewer asked Alexia who smiled politely at the lady.
"The team performed great, we played very well. We created a lot of chances which we ultimately took advantage of" she replied.
The interview continued like that, analyzing the game, talking about the impact the subs brought with them and the things the team could’ve done better.
It seemed like a normal interview until it took a turn, much to Alexia’s dislike.
"You haven’t been seen with any girls lately - what‘s happened to this version of yourself?"
Unfortunately for the interviewer, you were in earshot. Your body filled with rage. How can someone be this inappropriate? In an instant you marched over, your hips pushing Alexia slightly out of the camera angle, arm protectively around her waist. "This interview is ended" you stated sternly. You weren’t a media person at all, never knowing what to say, more of a private person - that question was enough for you to throw everything overboard. This was nothing but disrespectful.
You grabbed Alexia’s hand, about to pull her fully away from the media as she instead stepped back in.
"That version fell in love"
with that being said, she let you drag her away into the tunnel.
You grumbled something to yourself, angry about the fact that the lady had the audacity to ask something like that, "why did you answer that? You gave her so much satisfaction by answering!"
"Stop pacing around, please" gently she grabbed your wrists, frowning as the scowl didn’t leave your features.
"It was the right thing to do" she answered calmly while her index finger tried to erase the wrinkle between your brows.
"No- she-"
"I am in love with you and i want everyone to know that," she stated, "I‘m not that person anymore!"
You inhaled, closing your eyes as you relaxed in her close proximity.
"I know you‘re not"
"One chance, that‘s all i ask for" she pleaded, her hand cupping your cheek.
"Okay"
"Okay?"
"Okay."
Both of you smiled shyly with cheeks crimson red.
-
Alexia stood next to the door, waiting for you to exit the Barcelona facility.
Finally, when she saw you leaving the building, she pushed herself off the wall and quickly slipped her hand into yours, "hi" she smiled, teeth showing as you matched her smile. "I was thinking… um, would you like to go out? With me? On a date?" She had been nervous all day long, wanting to ask the question.
Your smile grew wide, "I’d love to!"
"great!" the captain beamed, "I’ll pick you up" she left your touch, happily walking towards her car before realizing something. Hurriedly, she made her way back to you, "tonight, 6pm, i mean"
-
She was Alexia Putellas.
La reina.
Queen of football.
Fan favorite - everybody’s favorite.
"Amor, say it." she whined, pressing multiple kisses over your face. You wiggled in her grasp as she straddled your waist, your giggles filling the room - heaven for her ears.
"Noooooo"
The captain looked down at you, a mischief smirk making its way on her face.
"Don‘t you dare, Ale!" you laughed, but it was too late - the tickle fight broke out. It was obvious that your girlfriend was winning, no chance for you to win as she had you pinned down on the couch.
"Say it, mi amor"
"only if i get a kiss…" you grinned.
Within seconds Alexia leaned down, pecking your lips.
giggling, you added, "…or two"
she leaned back down, pecking your lips once more. "or three or four or five" you sing-sang, laughing at the midfielders playful glare. After multiple added kisses, Ale had enough. She cupped your cheeks, lips pressing against your own with a gentle force. The air was knocked out of your lungs. Her thumb caressed your cheeks and you couldn‘t help but smile into the kiss as she kissed you with so much love and appreciation.
"you’re my favorite"
———————
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alexias-putellas · 1 month
Text
between us // a.putellas x reader x j.hermoso
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a.putellas x reader x j.hermoso
-
you’d had a crush on alexia from the moment you’d laid eyes on her the day you signed your barcelona contract. she was pretty and kind. and unfortunately, taken.
the barcelona girls took you in as one of their own almost immediately and within a week, you felt like you’d known them forever. of course, your feelings for alexia grew and grew but your friendship with jenni had also blossomed so you decided that it was better to have alexia in your life as a friend then not at all. same with jenni. the last thing you wanted was for either of them to hate you.
since lucy and keira had pre-warned you about how affectionate the spanish could be, you never questioned how close you became with the couple as the months flew by. your teammates never said anything either so you assumed it was normal.
you never thought twice about being invited to dinners, or about the way jenni would pull you into her side during movie nights with the team. and you only lived a few doors down from alexia so her constant presence in your apartment was normal for you.
and that night was no different. music played softly in your bedroom as you held two pairs of earrings up, nudging alexia to get her attention. she quickly pointed to your go to statement earrings and you beamed, swiping your favourite necklace before heading into the en-suite. you figured it was easier to use the bathroom mirror instead of kicking alexia out of the way to use your vanity mirror.
you held your necklace out to jenni once she’d looked up from her phone, pushing herself off the sink and gently taking it from your hand. you turned around, feeling a shiver run down your spine as her fingers ran along the back of your neck, brushing your hair to the side.
jenni fastened the necklace and you thanked her softly, ignoring the way her hands slid down your arms. your eyes flickered towards your room as you put your earrings in, noticing alexia moving around.
she sat down on your bed and you swallowed thickly, eyes trained on her legs that looked even longer in the dress she was wearing.
“isn’t she pretty?” jenni’s question was a whisper in your ear and you felt yourself nodding.
“yes. ale is very pretty.” you hummed in agreement but then froze, realising what you’d said and who you’d said it to.
hearing jenni’s soft laughter didn’t make you feel any better, neither did the kiss she pressed to your burning cheek. “you should tell her.”
“what?” you laughed nervously, stepping forward and out of her grip. “why would i do that?”
she reached out for you again, grabbing your waist and pulling you back. a small huff left your lips as you hit her chest, the blush on your cheeks deepening. “i think ale should know what you think of her.”
“i–i think you are very pretty too, jenni,” you breathed, thinking jenni’s actions were due to a sense of jealousy. “not just ale. you’re both very pretty.”
your flustered state only worsened when she turned you around, hands tight on your waist. when her eyes flickered to your lips, you knew you were a goner. “puedo besarte?”
“yes. god, yes.”
jenni’s lips were on yours in an instant and you threw your arms around her neck, pulling her closer.
guilt hit you like a ton of bricks when you separated. you rubbed at your swollen lips, backing away from the spaniard silently.
you avoided alexia’s gaze as you made your way over to your wardrobe, swinging it open to reach for your favourite pair of heels. your stomach twisted. were you really going to act normal and have dinner with alexia after kissing jenni mere feet away from her?
after slipping on the shoes, you turned around, ready to beg for alexia’s forgiveness. but she was already stood there. you studied her face. she wasn’t angry. maybe she didn’t know.
“can i kiss you now?” she asked quietly and your legs felt like jelly as she reached out to rub her thumb along your bottom lip. “or does jenni get you all to herself?”
if it was any other day, you would’ve asked questions first. but jenni’s kiss still had you reeling and you didn’t know if you’d ever get the chance to kiss alexia again.
so you leaned in without a second thought.
the guilt you were feeling faded but was soon replaced with confusion. with hesitation, you gently pushed alexia back. her eyebrows furrowed and you placed your hand on her chest to keep her there. doing the same with jenni when she approached.
“what is happening? what is this? a one time thing?” you asked, looking between them quickly.
you regretted asking that last question almost immediately. you were not ready to hear the answer. your heart wouldn’t be able to take a one time thing but you didn’t know if you’d have the strength to reject them if they’d said yes.
“what do you want it to be?” alexia asked, voice soft and soothing. you swallowed thickly, the anxiety swirling in your stomach.
you had no idea what to say. you wanted them, in every way possible. but if they rejected you, where would that leave you? or the team? you didn’t want to be the reason the whole thing fell apart.
“cariño?” alexia’s voice pulled you out from your head and you inhaled sharply.
“what–what if i want something more then a one time thing? something serious?” your voice trembled slightly as did your hands.
jenni reached out and gently brushed her fingers along your cheek. “we want that too.”
“really?”
“you sound surprised,” alexia smiled and you realised that the mood had shifted. “we have been flirting with you for months, did you not notice?”
jenni grinned as your blush deepened. you rolled your eyes and swatted her hand away after she pinched at your cheek.
“you two are mean,” you murmured, shouldering passed them both. alexia wrapped her arms around you and pulled you back, nuzzling your neck as you giggled quietly. “are we still going for food?”
“i am not sure, hermosa,” alexia said, resting her chin on your shoulder. “if jenni and i are so mean, why should we take you?”
you looked over at jenni but she just shrugged. you huffed and crossed your arms over your chest. “is this how it’s going to be? you two ganging up on me all the time?”
jenni moved to stand in front of you, gently cradling your face and rubbing her thumbs along your jaw. you noticed her glance at alexia.
“vamos, ale. i think we need to show our girl just how nice we can be.”
ᡣ𐭩
a year into the relationship, jenni and alexia were very much used to hearing you rage at your international teammates over the phone. normally, you showed your girlfriends decency and tried to keep the noise down but when your competitiveness flared, it wasn’t always doable.
“georgia, stop cheating!” you shouted, glaring at the tv screen in front of you.
“it’s mario kart mate! how can i cheat?”
“i don’t know but you are! oh my–tooney! fuck off!” you clenched your jaw as the cheers sounded over the phone, both georgia and ella managing to beat you, the self-proclaimed mario kart champion of the lioness camp. “you know what? i hate you all.”
“what did i do?” leah asked and you could hear the frown in her voice.
“guilty by association.” you told her.
“doesn’t seem fair.”
“not my problem. i demand a rematch!”
“no.” georgia and ella said simultaneously.
“uh, yes.”
“oh, please don’t start this back and forth again.” you heard niamh plead.
“not our fault she’s a sore loser.” georgia muttered and you gasped.
“i am not!” you protested, getting radio silence in response. with a scoff, you shut down the tv and the xbox before snatching your phone. “i am ignoring this phone the next time sarina calls, do you people hear me?”
“loud and clear!” ella chirped. “don’t answer it!”
in that moment you decided that, for once, you’d be the bigger person. so you ignored the jeers of your friends and hung up, muttering angrily under your breath as you made your through your apartment.
you headed into the bedroom to see alexia leaning against the headboard, looking over at you with an amused smile. “they beat you?”
“they did not beat me, they cheated.” you huffed.
“maybe you are not as good as you think you are.” jenni’s voice echoed from the en-suite and you turned around.
“if you cannot even pretend to support me, jennifer, what are we even doing here?”
jenni laughed and you huffed again, crawling next to alexia and nestling into her side. when the brunette finally joined you, you kicked at her, letting out a yelp when alexia gently pinched your thigh. “be nice, amor.”
“be nice,” you mocked her quietly under your breath. after a few seconds, you attempted to crawl out but was immediately pulled back by the blonde. “hey!”
“where are you going?” she asked, tightening her arms as you wriggled in her grip.
“i am owed a rematch.” you told her, prying at her hands.
“no.”
“no? uh, yes,” you tried to leave again but alexia quickly flipped you onto your back, laying on top of you so you couldn’t move. “aw, ale, get off!”
“no.”
“stop saying no to me,” you groaned, wrenching your arm free and reaching out for jenni. “help!”
“no!” alexia lifted her head and glared at you, grabbing your hand and pinning it to the bed. “it will not kill you to have an early night for once.”
“it might.” you muttered, earning yourself another pinch.
with how genuinely annoyed she sounded, you half expected alexia to shove you over to jenni but she didn’t. instead, her arms snaked around your body and she nuzzled further into you.
you pouted over at jenni and she kissed it from your lips, leaning over and flicking off the lamp. you glared into the darkness, feeling jenni press another kiss to your head.
after what felt like forever and you were sure that both jenni and alexia were asleep, you wriggled from your space between them and swiped your phone, quietly slipping out of the room.
you jumped onto the sofa and opened the lioness groupchat, typing only two words with determination flowing through your veins.
REMATCH NOW
-
…another series anyone??
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samkerrworshipper · 3 months
Text
Initiation | Barca Femení x reader
part 1
warnings: insinuations of smut, sexual references, don’t read if you aren’t open to non monogamous relationships lol
you are responsible for your own digital consumption this is not made for anybody below the age of 18!
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When it all had been proposed to you, you’d been shocked.
It was no secret amongst the soccer world that certain clubs had certain initiation customs, it was also no secret that inside a lot of clubs, especially the European ones, there was a lot of sexual fluidity across teammates. You weren’t oblivious, you’d heard the many stories from your national teammates, but when you’d signed with Barca and had two of your teammates approach you to talk about the Barca initiation you’d been shocked.
You were having coffee with Keira and Lucy, the afternoon after you’d signed and finished up all the media that had been required of you for Barca to put up on their social media and website.
You were sipping on your iced latte, whilst trying to finish off the pastry that Lucy had bought you, when they’d popped the question.
“Has anybody talked to you about Barca initiation?”
It was Keira who had piped up, her voice anxious from the other side of the table.
This was your first senior professional team that you were a proper member of, being only 22 you’d played the majority of your junior career with Manchester United, and your senior career had been a lot of bouncing between different teams. You’d never signed a contract that had you dedicated to a club for multiple seasons, so Barca was a big change for you.
“Lucy said that she had to sing a song or something.”
You hadn’t really thought about it much, you’d gone through the singing thing at your English call-up when you were 17.
“Right, but there is a little bit more to it than that.”
You looked up from your croissant, one of your eyebrows raised in questioning at your two older mentors.
“Are you going to tell me what you are talking about or continue to look at me like I’m about to explode?”
Lucy laughs, the anxiety on Keira’s face only becomes more prevalent.
“Okay, so a lot of the professional teams have different rituals that happen at the start of every season, initiation nights.”
You nod along, this isn’t new information to you, but the squint in Keira’s eyes at your obliviousness is enough to tell you that you aren’t catching on to whatever she is saying.
“Keira, can you get to the point?”
You're getting sick of Keira beating around the bush like you are a 10 year old.
“Barca has a night every year, a special night, it’s very important to some of the girls, no phones, no technology, it’s a very personal night, where some things that could be deemed unprofessional occur.”
You are still so lost, and you are certain that it’s being portrayed in your facial expression, is she talking about alcohol? Dancing? Pranks? Hazing?
“Keira, just tell me.”
Your statement is a plea, a plea for Keira to end this whole awkward encounter and just get to the point.
Lucy laughs heartily at the terrified look on Keira’s face, when she realises that Keira is stuck at what to say she takes over the conversation, both of her hands thudding down on the table.
“At the start of every season, we all get together, we have fun, no rules. This is different to your substandard initiation, this night is about connecting, on a different level with your teammates, on a sexual level.”
Your jaw slackens almost immediately, your eyes blinking aimlessly as you take in the last piece of Lucy’s statement.
“Now, that’s not to say that you have to do anything, if you want we can forget I just said that and you don’t have to be apart of that part of the night, it’s completely optional, a lot of the girls chose not to participate, but we just wanted to let you know that it is a option.”
An option.
It’s such odd wording, like it’s just an everyday decision.
“Sorry, I just need a few seconds to process.”
You take your time, taking a deep gulp of your coffee and a big bite of your croissant before you look back up at your teammates.
“Can I have a bit more of an explanation? I just want to understand this a little bit better.”
Lucy nods her head eagerly, a big smirk covering her face.
It’s such a taboo conversation to have at a fucking cafe, over breakfast, but neither of the other women seem very bothered by it.
“It’s a free for all, a survey is given out every year beforehand, things you are and aren’t open to engaging in. It’s separate to the other initiation, that happens during pre-season. This is different, It’s all very consensual, and if you choose to participate then you're limited on alcohol consumption, for safety reasons. It’s a lot of fun, a lot of pleasure and exploring. Alexia's been organising it for a few years now, so it’s a very secure process. It’s kind of seen as a final hoorah before pre-season and training starts. Normally they book out a suite at a hotel somewhere, but some years it’s been done at teammates' houses or airbnbs.”
You nod your head, it’s a very interesting concept, one that you are completely shocked by. Sure, you’ve heard about sexual innuendo amongst groups of players in clubs, but this is a completely different level. It’s uncharted territory for you, you definitely aren’t any form of prude or innocent type. You enjoy sex, you’re experienced enough to know that you are good at it. But you’ve never experienced anything near what this is.
“You’ve both been a part of it?”
Lucy nods definitively and Keira nods almost ashamedly.
“You’re okay with your partner being with other people?”
It might be an over step, but you figure this whole conversation is an over step.
“It’s not like that. I speak for both myself and Keira when I say that we both like to see each other having fun, that’s what this is. It’s a night of fun, and it’s with people that we both trust and spend every day with, there isn’t any worries about jealousy. There are a lot of the girls on the team that are in relationships, Ingrid and Mapi are together and they participate, Jenni and Alexia, Caro and Marta, there are also people in relationships outside of the team, it’s all consensual amongst both partners.”
You nod your head, it’s not like it matters to you, your not in a relationship, but it does make you feel a little bit better about the whole interaction.
“Sorry-I’m asking a lot of questions.”
Lucy just smiles and shakes her head.
“Don’t worry about it, I had plenty of questions to ask and I didn’t have a national teammate to ask about it. Ask away, it’s better to ask now then wonder later.”
You nod your head, you are still so shocked by this whole encounter.
“I-What happens at this night?”
It’s a broad question, and you almost palm yourself in the head for asking it.
“I seriously don’t need to give you the birds and bees talk do I?”
Lucy is jesting you, so you roll your eyes, pivoting to Keira with a genuine look of curiosity.
“It differs each year, depending on what people want to do. Toys, kinks, bondage, anything really. If you want to do something, someone is probably likely to want to oblige you. For example, last year, Luce put down that she liked to watch me service other people, and I got the opportunity to do that.”
Keira is stuttering over her words, it’s kind of cute, especially when you catch the glance that Lucy throws at her.
“This is the only time it happens every year.”
Keira cocks her head, looking at Lucy for some kind of permission before shaking her head.
“Not quite, there are agreements between some of the girls, on trips and things often happen but that’s more private, this is common knowledge amongst the team. Although, if you enjoy yourself there is a more than likely chance that more opportunities will come up, if you catch my drift.”
Keira is like your older sister, so sitting down and talking to her about sex has never been something that has ever crossed your mind remotely, but you are kind of glad that it is Kei that you are talking to. Because Keira doesn’t joke around the same as the others do, she wouldn’t make fun of you about something like this, nor would Lucy consider she’s Keira’s codependent.
“So, correct me if I’m wrong, and I'm going to be blunt about this. Every year, before the season starts, the Barca women have a massive sex free for all that’s disguised as an initiation party.”
Keira hesitantly nods, but not before she can correct you a little bit.
“It’s not disguised as an initiation party, there will be other new signings there, Ona, who you would know from United, and a few other girls. I can promise you that the newbies get the most attention, if that’s something you want, of course, there is absolutely no pressure for you to participate, this is about you doing as little or as much as you’d like.”
You take a few minutes of silence, whilst you toss up all of the words that have been spoken in the conversation between you and the couple.
It’s a lot to think about, and the thought is massively daunting.
Especially considering that you are going to be walking into a room full of women that you’ve hardly talked to. You’ve met Alexia, she dropped in to meet you when you were going through the process of your signing, but it had been a fairly rushed interaction and you’d been too busy being in awe of her to even think about anything besides the fact that in a few months time you’d be playing on the field beside her.
“If I said I wanted to?”
Lucy broke out into a fit of giggles, a big smile breaking out across her face.
“I’ll text la capitana, she’ll text you any details, you’ll probably get a visit or a phone call confirming your interest.”
You were still a little bit shocked, this whole conversation felt like it had been a dream, so much so that you’d had to reach down to your thigh and pinch it to confirm that this was in fact your life.
“That’s it?”
Lucy smirked and nodded, reaching over to pat you on the shoulder.
“You aren’t signing yourself off to the devil, Ale will be in contact, if you have any questions you’ll see Kei and I everyday leading up to it, and if you want to pull out at any stage that’s completely fine, no hard feelings, no judgement.”
You nodded your head, unable to do much more than that.
“It’s as easy as that?”
Lucy nods her head.
“Easy as that.”
It’s two days later, when you are properly acquainted with your captain.
You are sitting at your kitchen counter, finalising some university work that you are trying to get ahead of when you are rudely interrupted by the sound of a light knocking at your door.
You close your laptop, and turn down the volume of the playlist you have playing across your speakers, before you jog to the door of your apartment.
The last thing you expect to be faced with, is the face of your newest captain.
“Hola, Capitana.”
You don’t really know what else to say, you’ve had zero warning about this sudden visit, and whilst you are honoured, it’s also a little bit daunting having one of the best players the game has standing right in front of you.
“Lo siento, puedo pasar?” Sorry, may I come in?
You are nowhere near fluent in Spanish, Lucy had been giving you crash courses over the past few months once she’d found out about your signing, you had managed to get a cusp of basic conversational talk, the club had told you that once season commenced you’d be assigned a spanish teacher and a translator, so you hadn’t been super worried about it.
“Please, make yourself comfortable, would you like something to drink? I’ve got water, juice, coffee, tea?”
You list off everything that you can think of, as you open the door fully to Alexia.
“Just water should be fine.”
You are slightly shocked by the Spaniards' flawless pronunciation over her English, and also extremely relieved that you aren’t going to be forced to try and understand Spanish, because it certainly isn’t a skill you’ve even begun to master.
Alexia takes a spot sitting at your island bench, directly beside your uni work that had been the previous centre of your attention, which is now being completely occupied by your Catalan company.
“Here you go.”
You pass the glass over to Alexia, electing to stay positioned on the opposite side of the counter, instead of sitting down beside her. It feels less confrontational, more conversational and less one on one.
“Gracias, I’m sorry for dropping in without any warning, I was in the area and I figured it was best to discuss this all with you in person, I won’t be here long, I don’t want to disturb anything.”
You smiled at Alexia, shaking your head at her.
“It’s no trouble at all, I was just getting ahead of some course work, what can I do for you, Capitana?”
Alexia gives you a wry smile, reaching for her handbag which she’d set down on the floor.
“Please call me Alexia or Ale, none of the formality is necessary.”
You nod at her, Ale, it sounds nice coming off of your tongue, it makes you feel a little bit less terrified of the woman.
“Okay Ale, what can I do for you?”
Alexia smiles at you, a genuine smile that somehow warms your soul, it’s like magic, and you give yourself a mental note to ask Lucy about the effect later on.
“I’m just here to talk to you about our initiation night on Friday, Lucia tells me that you are keen to join in, si?”
You nod your head cautiously, it’s impossible to miss the little dimple in Alexia’s cheek as she licks her lips and smirks at you.
“Perfecta, I can assure you that you will have a lot of fun. Has Lucia talked to you about it, or would you like me to give you a bit of a debrief?”
Technically, Lucy has given you the debrief, but you are curious to learn more and see if Alexia has anything else to add.
“Lucy talked about it, but it was pretty brief and non-specific.”
Alexia nods, and gently pushes a sheet of paper across the table to you, one look at the words across the sheet had your eyes nearly bulging out of your eye sockets.
“On the left, you’ll see a list of girls' names, those are the girls from the team that are choosing to participate. Some just come to watch, others come to please, others come for pleasure. Everything that happens on the night is exclusive to the team, and if talked about outside of the team there are consequences. On the right you’ll see a list of common things that occur. I'll send out a survey to you later, the majority of those things will be on the list, you do not have to engage in anything that makes you uncomfortable, there is absolutely no pressure for you to do anything. Please understand that.”
You nod dutifully at Alexia, your eyes scanning the page and taking in the amount of names as well as different sexual acts and activities.
“We’ve rented out a house, it’s on private land, nice and spacious, lots of privacy. I’m sure Keira and Lucia will take you along with them, you can be as included as you wish, we take care of newbies, anything you want you’ll get, just don’t be shy to ask for it, okay?”
You nod sheepishly at Alexia. This conversation would make you uncomfortable normally, but talking about it with ‘La Reina’ like the two of you are discussing the weather is perplexing.
“Don’t stress about it, cariño, you’ll be well looked after, you are well sought after amongst the group, I’m sure that you’ll be very popular if you desire so. If not, I’m always happy to look after our newest additions.”
Alexia sends you a sardonic smile, sweet and sultry, full of teeth and a chunk of her plump pink lip caught in her teeth.
You think that Alexia can sense that you are stuck on what to say to her, a little bit star struck and still trying to process the words that have just left her mouth.
“Well, unless you have any other questions I'll see myself out, I’ll see you in a couple of days, adios.”
Alexia is up and out of your kitchen in a matter of seconds, barrelling towards the door, your body following hers and managing to speak out just as her hand connects with the brass of your door knob.
“Alexia, thank you for coming around, I really appreciate it, just one last question if you have a second?”
Alexia pivots on her heel, turning around to face you fully.
“Ask away.”
You nod your head, working up the confidence inside of you to ask the question.
“What should I expect?”
You are well aware that it’s a broad question, and you don’t know what kind of answer you are going to receive, but there is a part of your gut that’s just begging for more information, for something.
“You really want a spoiler?”
You nod your head definitively, you aren’t a person who enjoys surprises, you like to know what to expect, what’s happening. You’ve been this way since you were a child, and it’s followed you up until now.
“It’s an atmospheric experience, the feeling, the endorphins. There is nothing that matches being in a room full of people full of desire, nothing like being in a room full of women reaching levels of pleasure they never even imagined. I don’t know what else to say, it’s an out of body experience, there is a reason why it is so sacred amongst our team, as a newbie it’s daunting, I know it’s hard to believe but I was once in your position as well, and the best chunk of advice I can give you is to just let go, let yourself live in the moment whilst you are there, nobody is going to judge you, take a leap of faith, okay? I’ll see you in a couple of days, text me if you have any more questions or if you think I’ve left anything out, even if you just want to chat I’m here, take a read from the list I gave you, it should provide some insight.”
Alexia’s words resonate with you for days to come, the way she talked about the whole situation like it was gospel, her words making it seem like a holy sacrament. You study the sheet she’s given you as if it is the holy bible and you are trying to learn your scriptures.
14 women.
15 including yourself.
That’s a lot of people, and yet as you read over the names it seems nowhere near as magnitudinal as it sounds.
The list of kinks and situations is a source of a lot of your late night self explorations.
You’ve experimented with a lot of things over the years, but some of the things on the list have you weak at the knees just reading them. When your receive the email from Alexia it takes you a whole day to work up the courage to open up the attachments. The first one, as previously discussed is a survey. It has all of the things from the sheet Alexia gave you, plus a surplus of other things, and then some more questions to be personally filled in. It’s near impossible to work through it, it takes far longer than you think it should, but by the end of it you are left with a warm feeling in the bottom of your stomach, anticipation, shock at what you are looking at.
There are four boxes for each topic, yes, no, maybe. And below every maybe box there is a little text box which reads ‘please specify’.
It’s well organised, and you have a feeling that Alexia will have put a lot of time into it, from the very short amount of time that you’ve grown to know her you’re under the impression that she takes her role of captain very seriously.
Fingering? yes. Vaginal pentration? yes. Spanking? yes. Bondage? maybe - no ropes or handcuffs. Oral receiving? yes. Oral giving? yes. Use of toys? yes. Double penetration? yes. Anal? maybe - only experimented but open to trying. Sensory deprivation? maybe - no gags. Humiliation? no. Sex with multiple people? yes. Orgasm denial/control? yes. Sex with a couple? yes. Praise? yes. Degradation? yes. Choking/breath play? no. Dominant? no. Switch? maybe - most likely not. Submissive? yes.
The list goes on, it covers every single thing you’ve ever done and then more, it makes you quiver in the depths of your core, just with anticipation.
Once you’ve finished the yes no part of the survey and answered the questions down the bottom you move onto the other attachment, which from a quick skim over outlines the rules, expectations and details of the night.
The main things that cathc your eyes are the sentences relating to safe words and consent. It seems important so you pay extra attention to it. It talks about the traffic light system, that once you consent to the night it is your responsibility to use your words, there will be regular check ins but unless you use your safe word there is no expectation for anything to stop.
Some other topics that catch your eyes are details about time, place, clothes, etcetera.
The majority of it is just information that Lucy and Keira had already outlined to you, the newbie run down.
Three days later, and you are slowly getting ready for your night to come.
Over the past 72 hours there has been one thing on your mind, tonight. You aren’t spared a minute from your thoughts and when Keira and Lucy walk through your front door, running an hour late you are buzzing. You are well aware of the fact that you look like a 8 year old who has just skulled a bottle of cola, every single extremity connected to your body shaking wildly.
You were lost on what to wear, and it had taken a long chat with Keira yesterday to convince you that apparently it was nowhere near as big of a deal as you were making it in your head.
You settled for a matching sweat combo, just because you figured it would be coming off anyway. It was paired with one of your nicest pairs of lingerie, a red set which was probably leaning towards a size too small. The set accentuated every single part of your body though, it hugged your curves, made your ass pop and your tits look delectable.
It felt almost criminal to cover it up with a tank top and nike tracksuit and sweater, but you also found comfort in the extra layer of clothing, it feels like a layer of armour.
You’ve been sitting in your apartment, contemplating everything for an hour and a half when Lucy and Kei finally show up.
They walk in without any warning, and it’s certainly a sight for sore eyes.
You aren’t sure when was the last time you’ve seen either of them glowing and looking so smiley, but it’s definitely a moment where you take a mental picture for the future.
They’re both dressed similarly to you, and for once you don’t find yourself guilty for being curious about what hides beneath the couple's clothing.
“Hola.”
Even your words are practically dripping with anxiety, your voice shaky and stuttery.
“Hola amor, you ready to go?”
Lucy looks especially delighted.
Her hair is down, something that you don’t see very often. She’s got a light layer of makeup on that compliments her facial figures without making it look like she’s over done it.
Keira looks similar, her hair is down and curled every so slightly, if you didn’t know her so well you probably wouldn’t have realised but the effort is noted inside your brain. She’s also got a very light layer of makeup on, both women look stunning, perfect together, the picture of love.
It makes you hopeful, hopeful that one day you’ll find somebody that looks at you the way Lucy does at Keira, and vice versa.
“Mhm.”
You don’t get up from the couch, all of a sudden you feel unable to move.
Keira recognises it fairly quickly, taking a seat down next to you, her hand falling on top of your knee and squeezing lightly.
“Everything alright, little one?”
Keira’s voice is so soft, it makes you feel safe, like you’re at home.
“Just nervous.”
As far as nerves go, you're fairly certain the euros final doesn’t even match this, it’s weird.
“You know that if you want to back out that’s completely fine, nobody is going to make fun of you.”
You shook your head, backing out was the last thing you wanted to do, but it didn’t make everything else less daunting.
“M’ fine, just need a sec.”
Keira’s hand slowly moves up from your knee, to your thigh, her grip becoming a little bit lighter.
“I can think of a way to calm some of those nerves.”
Keira’s voice is unusually confident, and it surprises you greatly when she reaches down to your chin and pulls it upwards so you’re looking at her.
It’s just then that you realise exactly how close the two of your faces are, so close that you can feel Keira’s breath on your face. It’s warm and it tickles against your skin in a way that you’ve never felt before. She’s smiling at you, but there is a deeper connection through her eyes, the way she's looking at you makes you feel like you are the only person in the world.
“Luce?”
You’re well aware of what this whole night ensues, but it doesn’t settle the slight niggle in your gut that you definitely do not want to be reading this situation wrong.
“Yes, honey?”
Keira’s eyes don’t waiver from your own, even as yours look across the room to look at Lucy, who is giving you a similar look to Keira, somewhat predatory in the best way possible. Her voice is practically dripping with confidence, doused in assertiveness.
You look between the both of them, realising that there is definitely no push back from either of them.
“Please tell me I’m not reading this wrong.”
Keira silences you by pressing her lips to your own, you freeze up for a few seconds, your mouth completely unmoving as you realise this really is happening, that for the last week you haven’t been walking around in some kind of weird dream that’s been created because of some weird delusion in your head.
After a few seconds, you relax into the kiss, moving your own lips against Keira’s and savouring the flavour of strawberry gum and coffee that is fresh on her lips. It tastes how Keira feels, warm and content and it calms down any of the previous nerves that were occupying your stomach, the shaking across your whole body as Keira’s hand on your jaw gently caresses the skin with the pads of her fingertips.
After a few more seconds of Keira sucking and biting at your lips she retracts herself, a big smile on her face as she continues to stare at you.
“Luce you need to try, she tastes divine.”
The compliment makes you blush more than you were already, the redness spreading down to your neck as you feel the couple's eyes on you.
“All in due time Kei, we don’t want to overwhelm her, now I think it’s about time we get a move on, hm?”
You nod subconsciously, your brain still floating on a different planet as you compartmentalise exactly what just happened. All you can think about is how Keira’s lips felt, addictively soft and supple, it’s a feeling that you are certain you won’t forget.
“God you’ve gone and broken her Kei, already?”
The feeling of Keira squeezing your knee once again manages to awaken you from your trance, your eyes darting between the couple cautiously.
“You ready to go, honey?”
Keira’s voice is as soft as her lips, you're so effortlessly enraptured by her that it makes you more than a little bit excited for whatever is to come.
You’ve never seen Keira look this carefree, this cheeky and it makes you feel so much more at peace then you had previously.
You allow Keira to guide you out of your own apartment, your brain still working at a snail's pace so before you even realise you are sitting in the backseat of Lucy’s very nice mercedes. Instead of sitting in the front beside Lucy, Keira has elected to sit in the backseat with you, her body pressed up against your own and her hand resting comfortably on the inside of your knee.
Your knee is bouncing up and down under Keira’s hand, and before you can say anything, her hand is moving up to your chin and rotating it to meet her lips.
This time the kiss is more motivated, more purposeful but sweet all the same.
You give Keira control, your lips practically melting into hers as her hand tangles into the back of your head, tugging at the tresses of hair at the nape of your neck.
It feels so good, so good that you part your lips to moan, instead your sounds are silenced though by Keira’s tongue.
Keira kisses with passion and fervour, it’s quite shocking based off of her personality and all the times you’ve seen her around Lucy, but it makes you giddy on the inside all the same.
“Keira, behave.”
The words come when Keira’s spare hand comes up to your covered breast, you don’t even really notice until you see Lucy looking directly at Keira in the rearview mirror and the look on her face is a mixture of displeasure and humour.
“You're just mad that I got her first.”
Keira’s hand doesn’t move, and it’s fairly clear that Lucy isn’t pleased about it.
“You keep talking like that to me and you won’t like how the night goes for you.”
Keira’s hand quickly moves down from your breast but she doesn’t remove it completely, instead moving it down to your lap again, but her kisses don’t stop, she litters little kisses all over your jaw and neck, all whilst you maintain the eye contact with Lucy in the rearview.
She’s smirking, her eyes don’t leave yours unless they go back to the road, and even when they don’t you keep your eyes on her.
Keira is only egged on by the little sounds and moans that leave your mouth as she finds different spots across your neck and face that make you melt even further into her.
“How does she feel honey? Is she getting you warmed up?”
Lucy’s words are directed towards you, it takes a few seconds for your brain to wrap it’s way around them but once you do you reply quickly.
“Feels good, m’ sorry.”
Lucy’s eyebrows furrow, and when the next red light comes she turns around completely to look at you.
“What do you have to be sorry for?”
Lucy voice is more questioning than accusatory.
“Sorry for getting Kei in trouble and kissing her without your permission.”
Lucy scoffs and Keira snorts from her spot on your neck.
“Oh honey, not your fault that Kei is choosing to be a bit bratty, these nights always get her quite over zealous, as far as kissing her you’ve got my full permission, you don’t need to ask.”
You nod cautiously, moaning as Keira begins to suck a mark right into the pulse point on your neck.
“Kei, behave yourself, you know what Ale said about not getting over excited.”
It’s the mention of Alexia’s name that has your ears perking up.
It seems to get Keira to back off a bit, her lips at least, her hand continues to rub gently at the inside of your knee and thigh and you slowly drive down a dark and windy road.
“Y’know you're all Kei’s been talking about all week, she’s been very excited for tonight.”
You look over at the older English woman, feeling a little bit confident when you notice that Keira is blushing wildly and avoiding your eye contact completely.
“Lucee.”
Keira is clearly embarrassed, which must mean that what Lucy is saying has come truth, which means that Keira has been thinking about you.
“All she’s been talking about, I can say the same about quite a lot of the girls, you are a popular topic.”
It makes you feel all giddy in your stomach with the acknowledgment from Lucy, she’s the last person that would lie to you, so it makes you feel especially good.
Keira groans and hides her head against the window.
“Really?”
Lucy scoffs once again at the shock in your voice.
“Trust me honey, pretty sure there will be girls queuing up for you, us oldies don’t get that kind of attention.”
Keira rolls her eyes, which is enough of an answer for you to realise that Lucy is trying to be humble.
It’s just as you’re about to say something that the car pulls into a driveway, which is already full of cars.
Alexia is right, it’s the only light that you’ve seen for miles, there is nobody for miles, which is a big comfort.
Lucy opens your door for you, helping you out and immediately beginning to assess your neck.
Once she’s certain that there are no marks she moves her vision up to your face, reaching down for a quick kiss.
It’s different to Keira, rougher, her lips more coarse.
It still feels equally as good.
Lucy releases fairly quickly, Keira’s already walking up the stairs to the house, an extra pep in her step as she makes it to the door.
Lucy and you are quick to follow her.
The door has a keypad on it, Keira quickly punches in a four digit code before the door pops open. The entry hallway is completely empty and silent, all three of you toe off your shoes and leave them and your socks by the door.
Lucy leads towards the door at the end of the entry way, you loiter behind, completely terrified of whatever is going to be behind it.
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barcaatthemoon · 19 days
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jenni's girl || alexia putellas x reader ||
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alexia gets jealous watching you hang around your ex.
minors dni, 18+, smut ahead, bottom reader, top alexia
alexia was seething as she watched jenni flirt with you and buy you drinks. she knew that you knew what was going on, and yet, you still let it happen. alexia had pretty royally screwed up earlier in the day by completely dismissing you, but she still hadn't expected you to go running into jenni's arms the moment that you got into the club. especially not with the history surrounding the two of you.
that was why alexia was so scared. both of you had dated jenni, but alexia could see the lasting mark that had on you. sometimes she felt like all you wanted was to go crawling back to the older woman. she did her best not to think about the fact that she had been your rebound for jenni, but when she saw the way you hung off of the other woman's arm, it was impossible.
"has anyone ever told you that you need to relax?" mapi asked as she draped an arm around alexia's shoulder. alexia was quick to shrug it off as she continued to glare at you and jenni. "she wouldn't do that to you. maybe you're getting so upset because you're pro-,"
"i would never!" alexia shouted as she shoved mapi back. mapi's brows furrowed in anger before she stormed off. they were all supposed to be happy and celebrating, but alexia was having a bad enough time to ruin anybody else's night. you glanced away from jenni for the first time in probably 10 minutes to see alexia sitting by herself, obviously upset.
"go to her, but be careful. i wouldn't want to see you get hurt," jenni said. she pressed a kiss to your cheek, which alexia definitely did not miss. she got up from her seat and began to walk towards the exit, completely ignoring you as you followed her. the two of you managed to get outside and to the parking lot before alexia finally turned around to face you.
"i'm surprised you're not back in there with jenni," alexia scoffed. you frowned at her, deeply upset by the accusatory tone that she was using. "come on, i know that you miss her. i know that deep down, you'll always be hers because she had you first."
"it's not a competition like that, alexia. i'm with you because i love you. yes, i love jenni, but as nothing more than a friend now. you two are friends, and i don't act like you are whenever she asks you to hang out, do i?" you crossed your arms over your chest. if alexia wanted a fight, you were more than happy to give it to her. she was acting ridiculous, and there was no way that all of her anger had come from a single interaction between you and a mutual friend.
"prove it. prove to me that you're not jenni's girl anymore," alexia challenged.
"are you serious?" you asked her. alexia's facial expression didn't soften or move at all, giving you your answer. you rolled your eyes as you moved past her to get in the car. alexia was pissy with you on the drive home, ignoring you until the two of you got back home.
you learned just how serious alexia had been in the parking lot whenever the two of you got home. she had a tendency to shut you out a bit whenever she got jealous, but the tension between the two of you had been extremely horny. alexia found a good balance of that in pinning you against the wall and sliding her thigh in between yours while also denying you any sort of softer affection.
she seemed to relish in the desperate little whine you let out after being denied for several kisses. alexia was staring at you with watchful eyes, darkened by the thoughts of all the ways she'd turn you out to prove that you'd do anything for her. she couldn't wait to bend you over every surface in the house to fuck you senseless.
"ale," you pleaded with her after being denied another kiss. you looked up at her with your best puppy dog eyes and pout, which usually would have worked at any other time. you realized that you must have really messed up back at the club if she wouldn't even give you a second look now. "i'm sorry ale. please, just give me a kiss."
"jenni used to kiss you when she fucked you." alexia wasn't asking because she knew how jenni fucked. you let out a whimper as you crumpled against the wall a little. her face softened for a moment as she sighed and pulled you back up to stand straight. "cari?"
you were at a loss for what to do. you had apologized to alexia and tried to explain yourself, but she wasn't listening to you. in that moment, alexia could see the turmoil that she had been causing you. once she had softened, she looked more like your alexia. you had been fine playing things up whenever you knew that she wasn't genuinely pissed at you.
"i'm sorry," alexia apologized as she pressed a kiss to your forehead. you stepped forward into her arms, pushing both of you away from the door. "you have every right to be mad at me for acting like an ass."
"fuck me hard enough to make me forget about you being a dick. better yet, fuck me hard enough to make me forget how jenni used to." alexia looked surprised by the glint in your eyes, but she went along with it anyway. and if she needed a little more motivation, you had it ready on the tip of your tongue. "god, i don't think anybody has ever made me feel that satisfied. she used to fill me up so fucking good ale, i don't think you under-,"
alexia didn't even make it to the bedroom with you. she spun you around and pushed on your shoulders to bend you over the back of the couch. barely half a second passed before you felt alexia's body weight press against yours as she leaned forward to whisper into your ear, "stay right here, just like this. if you move an inch, i'll let you go see if jenni will take your bratty ass back."
you swallowed thickly as alexia backed away from you. she disappeared down the hallway before coming back just a couple of moments later. you wanted to turn your head to look at her, but you didn't doubt that she'd kick you out for the night. there was an edge to her voice, one that came along with a look of anger that you had seen earlier in the night. you knew that you'd be lucky if alexia let you finish by the end of the night.
"color?" alexia asked as she placed her hands on your skirt. you had worn a very short, leather miniskirt out. alexia had been appreciative of it on the car ride there, but not so much once everybody had filled into the club. many of the girls on the team thought that you were attractive and had attempted to get with you in between your relationships with jenni and alexia.
"green," you answered. alexia, thankfully, didn't rip your skirt as she removed it from your body. it was definitely something that she wanted to see you wear again, even if the moment someone else looked at you, she'd get all jealous and grumpy. alexia carefully set the skirt on the couch next to you, just barely in your eyeline.
"i'd mark your ass up, but i think you'd enjoy that a little too much," alexia told you. you knew that was far from the truth. all it had taken for you to decide that you weren't a fan of being spanked was one particularly wild night whenever you had first gotten together with alexia, one that you were surprised she remembered.
"fuck, ale," you moaned as you felt her fingers run over your center. your underwear were still on, but the press of alexia's fingers was anything but gentle. she wanted to make sure that you could feel everything.
"don't worry, i will," alexia promised. she pressed a line of kisses along your back as she slotted herself right up against you. you let out a gasp as you felt the strap-on that she had chosen for the night press against your cunt. alexia smirked with her lips pressed into the crook of your neck. "i just don't think you can handle it just yet. even with all that big talk, i'm not quite sure you could take my new toy."
"new?" you tried to turn your head back to look, but alexia held your neck firmly in place. you let out a whine as you were denied what you wanted, pulling a chuckle from alexia's lips.
"careful, if you keep this attitude up, i'll bring someone around and make you watch," alexia threatened. it was something the two of you had spoken about quite a bit, and despite how into it you were, alexia knew it would drive you wild. "imagine someone who would be good for me like ona getting all of your orgasms and kisses while you have to sit there all by yourself."
your cheeks were flushed and burning as your head was forced down. alexia's free hand came around to tear your underwear open. you were glad that alexia didn't get in moods like this often or else you'd be going broke trying to replace your clothes. she slipped two fingers inside of you slowly, scissoring them to stretch you open before she added a third.
"breathe," alexia instructed. she kept her hands still as she monitored your breathing. you took deep breaths, ones that alexia matched with gentle thrusts of her fingers. "when i take my fingers out, i'm putting the dildo in. it's the last time i'll be gentle for a while, are you ready?"
"wait!" you shouted out before alexia could move her fingers. "can i have a kiss first, please? alexia, it's all that i want."
"after, i promise," alexia said. you let out a little whine, but nodded for her to take her fingers out of you. she stayed true to her word, replacing her fingers with a harsh thrust of what was definitely a new toy inside of you. you hadn't gotten to see it, but it was thicker and longer than what you were used to.
alexia didn't break out the strap with you very often, generally only if you asked for it or she was really tired. this felt like she had custom ordered it or bought it from a high-end place. there were ribs and ridges that you could feel every bit of as she pounded into you harshly. the icing on the cake, however, was the slight curve that made sure she was fucking into all the right places with every thrust.
"fuck, ale. i'm cumming!" you were lucid enough to know that it was too quickly, but alexia didn't stop. she only grabbed you by the hair and fucked you even harder through your orgasm. she was being rougher than you had ever thought to ask her to be, knowing that she usually hated it a little.
the grip on her hair didn't let up as she continued to fuck you harshly. she managed to get you into your second orgasm quickly, which was when your legs really started to feel like jelly. alexia was supporting you fully now, your body not even touching the couch anymore. alexia briefly pulled out of you just to flip you over and place your body against the couch once more, only this time facing her.
"give me your legs," alexia commanded. you lifted them as much as you could, which wasn't very much at all. alexia scoffed as she just grabbed your thighs and manhandled you into the position that she wanted you. "color?"
"green," you answered weakly. alexia seemed to check on you before she took you at your word. the toy felt completely different from the new angle, and you were screaming out at the first few thrusts.
"shh, just take it," alexia told you. this stretch was completely different than the one before. "breathe, i won't have you passing out on me."
you tried to find a good breathing pattern while she was fucking you, but there really wasn't one. still, you took deep breaths when you could to keep your vision from going fuzzy around the sides. alexia leaned her forehead against yours, but she kept her hand on your jaw to keep you from leaning in any closer. she seemed to remember what she told you, which you had hoped that she wouldn't.
"one more, i know you have it in you. cum for me one more time and i'll give you all the kisses you can handle," alexia promised. you closed your eyes and pushed her head down towards your chest. alexia let you move her a little, knowing that you were getting so close.
"ale, fuck. i don't know if i can." your eyes were squeezed shut as you tried to focus on her fucking you. it was hard, but you knew that you had to try. you felt almost like you were going to cry as your body teetered on the edge of another orgasm. you were so sensitive that your body wasn't sure whether or not it liked the pleasure anymore.
"come on, please. i just want to watch you cum for me, please baby. show me that you're mine," alexia begged you. it was not what you had expected to hear, and the little whine in her voice sparked something in you.
"i'm yours, ale, yours," you repeated over and over until the words jumbled together. this time, you weren't screaming and moaning like the others, your mouth fell open silently as your head dropped back. alexia felt a gush of liquid coat her thighs and drip down onto the floor between your bodies.
"good girl," alexia mumbled as she leaned forward to kiss you. you were too out of it to properly kiss her back, whining once again. "are you okay?"
"i'm fine, ale," you promised her. she nuzzled her head against your neck to pepper a couple of kisses there. "how are you?"
"a little soaked, but i expected as much." you hadn't expected alexia to tell a joke. she carried you into the bathroom and laid you in the corner of the shower as she turned on the water. it wasn't until alexia was standing in there with you, cleaning you off, that you realized what she had said.
"you talked to jenni about fucking me, didn't you?" a part of you was angry, but it also intriguied you quite a bit. "that's how you knew what would happen if you switched with the third. you never take me from behind like that."
"i like to look at your pretty face," alexia said. she grabbed your cheeks and pressed a kiss to your lips. "next time, i'll ask first, i promise."
"next time?" you asked, incredulously. alexia nodded as she turned the water off and stepped out first. she wrapped herself up in a towel before grabbing the fluffy robe for you. "fine, but we need to talk about what you're going to do for me."
"excuse me?" alexia was taken aback by your tone more than anything else.
"i came for you like you asked, even though you were playing games with me and didn't tell me. you said i can have whatever i want, remember?"
"(y/n)," alexia sighed.
"no, alexia, you promised." you crossed your arms over your chest.
"okay then, what do you want?" alexia asked you.
"i want jenni to join us for a night next time she flies in to visit," you said. alexia's jaw dropped, but she couldn't argue with you. besides, she had ideas of her own along that vein that this would be a good trial for. "you promised, ale."
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cinematv · 1 year
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F.R.I.E.N.D.S - The One With Joey's New Brain;
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cinemapix · 2 years
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ABBOTT ELEMENTARY I AVA VS. SUPERINTENDENT; (2022)
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wileys-russo · 3 months
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bad mood blues II a.putellas x reader
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little jealous bf ale fluff based around this request here bad mood blues II a.putellas
you waved to the fans as you did a lap unable to keep the grin off your face, patri’s arm slung over your shoulder as ona was tucked into your other side.
“i do not think we will ever see her sad again after this, i think her face is broken.” ona teased squishing your face which as expected continued to break out into a beaming smile.
“scoring your first hat trick will do that to someone!” patri laughed, breaking away from you as fans screamed out her name and waved their jerseys in her direction.
“so amor, excited for the private celebrations with your lover?” ona teased quietly as you blushed bright red and smacked her on the shoulder.
“be quiet! people are very good at lip reading these days.” you warned with a scowl, having known the young spaniard for several years now playing a with her at united before being bought by barcelona once your contract was up.
it was safe to say the two of you were stuck to one another’s sides like glue the moment ona finally returned home, mapi often teasing the two of you were like siamese twins seperated at birth.
which of course prompted ona to tease about your lack of natural tan and english upbringing that it was an insult to her to be tied to you in such a way.
this was normally once you’d return from international or seasonal break, your barcelona tan fading within days of returning home to manchester.
though it was first through ona that you met alexia, yet another thing she was relentless to never let you live down.
it all started during the euros when ona had hung around waiting for you after england played spain, determined to swap shirts and introduce you to some of her friends.
that lead to an incredibly nervous you being all but kidnapped by the over confident defender and dragged with her toward the spanish locker room, digging your feet in the entire time until she pushed you through the door.
the room had fallen silent just for a split second and your eyes widened, trying to push past your friend and make a hasty exit but just as quickly as silence fell it seemed you were suddenly old news and everyone fell back into their conversations.
again dragged around by ona you stumbled through the basic spanish she’d taught you as she introduced you to a few of her teammates and friends, the last of all being alexia.
within the moment going toe to toe with the woman you’d just relentlessly humiliated by lobbing a ball through her legs to score the match winner was a daunting fate, which wasn’t helped by the steely calm nature of her demeanor and rather stern appearance.
her spanish was faster than most of the other girls and you needed ona to translate despite her repeatedly asking alexia just speak to you in english which she refused.
though despite her seeming disscontempt toward you, you’d found out mere months later that she was actually rather impressed, and within a few days of your move to barcelona was making more of an effort to befriend you and make sure you felt welcomed in than you’d expected.
though you suppose you could really put that down to ona calling up each and every single one of her national team mates and warning they look after you or else she’d be on the first plane over to sort them out.
needless to say long story short you and alexia had befriended one another, which after its run its course had quite quickly turned into a harboured crush that ona found endless pleasure to tease you for as you begged her over and over not to mention it to anyone.
she didn’t of course but with alexia having confided in mapi about her own feelings toward you, it didn’t take long for the scheming and the meddling to begin, and the rest was a story for another day.
“hey isn’t that-“ ona hadn’t even finished speaking before you spotted her, eyes widening as you raced over toward the barrier, your best friend shouldering her way to the front as politely as she could.
“rosie?!” your grin somehow widened to the point you were shocked your face hadn’t split in half, the taller girl hanging awkwardly down from the barricade as you wrapped her in a hug with a laugh of disbelief.
“surprise?” the brunette beamed, cheeks flushed as you opened and closed your mouth in surprise, a few fans around all calling out for your name. “how did you even-“ you trailed off still in shock at her sudden appearance.
“we were headed for portugal but a little birdy told me you were feeling a bit homesick and might benefit from a few more brits around!” the girl nodded over your shoulder as you glanced behind you to see keira send you a grin and a nod as you mouthed thank you and she waved you off turning back to her conversation with aitana and salma.
what you didn’t see was your girlfriends at first curious glance toward you, further away and not able to see who it was you were so seemingly enamoured with her brows furrowed into a frown as she crossed her arms over her chest.
much as she might deny it over and over you knew exactly the type of hot blooded woman alexia was, and that was the jealous type. she’d never assume poorly of you or your actions, she trusted you not to ever do anything.
but it was other people alexia didn’t trust, which wasn’t helped by the fact you were hopelessly oblivious when being flirted with, forever just brushing it off as people being nice.
alexia first and foremost knew of your inability to read people’s true intentions. considering it had taken her asking you out twice before you realised she meant as more than friends and apologised profusely for being so blind which really amused the catalan more than anything.
but now, now you were hers she didn’t find it quite so cute and amusing, in fact it was positively infuriating that you never seemed to catch onto peoples true intentions and it was something that caused more debates than alexia cared to rehash.
so with that in mind and her blood running even hotter than usual she’d busied herself with post match media duties before slinking off to the change rooms.
but a glance over her shoulder before she went only worsened her mood seeing that what felt like hours later you were still hung up on chatting with the mystery brunette who just couldn’t seem to keep her eyes off of you.
“duty calls superstar, i’m here with ben for another few days before we backpack to portugal. i promised id take him to dinner as penance for coming with me tonight but call me later and we can meet up properly tomorrow?” your best friend offered as the chants for your attention from fans grew and you nodded eagerly, kissing her cheek and dropping back down to the ground, the girl melting back into the ground as you started to make rounds signing things and taking photos.
still on cloud nine from your hat trick you stayed out longer than usual, reveling in your good mood as you made your way around to as many fans as you could. but with a wave from ona who'd ventured back out to remind you of the time you apologized and broke away, striding toward the tunnel.
"that was your best friend si? the one who has been travelling?" ona clarified as you nodded happily, launching into a recount of rosies nomad like life she loved, flitting from odd job to job living in vans, tents, share houses or hostels.
the girl had always been a free spirit and done her best to bring out the same in you all throughout high school where you'd met.
as soon as you both graduated, you moving into a full time football career and her to travel the world, you'd stayed close and made every effort to keep one another updated on your lives despite not seeing one another very often.
"does she know about..." ona made a face as you nodded. "yeah she does, not exactly who but she knows i'm seeing someone and i have no doubt she'll kick my door in if i don't bring ale with me when i see her." you chuckled as ona hummed with an amused smile, the two of you arriving to the change rooms which were rapidly emptying out.
"mario have you seen ale?" you frowned, unable to spot your girlfriend anywhere. "oh she left awhile ago amiga, seemed in a hurry." mariona smiled apologetically seeing you frown, thanking her.
"i'll drive you chica but be quick!" ona teased, referencing the way you used to infamously take the longest showers post game at united, though back then you drove yourself and it wasn't an issue.
alexia almost always driving you now you'd had an incentive and a reason to be fast not wanting to keep her waiting, something else ona was able to tease you for.
"gracias soldier." you kissed ona's cheek as she pulled up outside alexia's apartment complex, punching you lightly for the nickname as you grabbed your bag and waved her off.
unaware that anything was off you just assumed alexia forgot you would need a lift, having slept at your own place last night for the first time in days as alexia had an event, ona had picked you up this morning.
but the routine which existed between the two of you meant that after every match you wound up back at her place so you assumed tonight would be no different as you punched in her code and let yourself into the elevator.
you shifted your bag on your shoulder and knocked again when your girlfriend didn't answer the first time, settling as you heard her footsteps eventually sound from inside as the door swung open.
"were you asleep babe?" you laughed at her semi disheveled state, the older girl shrugging wordlessly as you stepped past her and made your way inside, more than comfortable in her place as she was in yours.
you didn't pick up on her mood right away, busying yourself changing into one of her hoodies as alexia settled herself on the lounge where she'd been prior to your arrival, already showered and changed herself.
"hola mi vida." you started to sense maybe something was off when you leant in for a kiss and your lips met her cheek, blanked as she tucked her knees up to her chest and crossed her arms, the closed off body language another tell tale sign of her bad mood.
trying to just chalk it up to tiredness post game you didn't mention anything, the taller girl fixated on a football match on the tv as you decided to make the two of you something to eat.
you glanced over to her every now and then, frown deepening when it seemed as if she barely noticed you were there.
normally alexia was all over you, especially after you'd played well, even if it was just as simple as the way she'd stick tightly to your back as you cooked.
but her arms never snuck around your waist, chin never rested on the top of your head, her lips never gently peppered your neck with soft kisses and so you began to wonder if perhaps you'd done something to upset her.
you tried to engage her in conversation but only receiving singular words or hums in response you abandoned that quickly. now quite certain she was upset about something whether it be with you or not.
almost finished cooking you wracked your brain for what you could have done to cause this, but even with all of your might you couldn't come up with anything.
the blonde had been fine with you prior to the game and at half time, stern captains persona dwindling for a moment as she mumbled into your hair how well you were playing and sneakily kissed you when it seemed no one was looking.
but now when it was her who could barely glance at you for more than a few seconds, everything suddenly felt very different.
dishing up two bowls you quickly rinsed things and left them in the sink to be washed later. despite the large dining room table in the middle of alexia's living room you don't think the two of you had eaten on it enough times for you to need two hands to count.
so handing her the bowl, a quiet thank you mumbled as again her eyes remained on the tv you settled in beside her, leaving a gap between the two of you which felt like it was miles long despite it really only being a few centimetres.
the two of you ate in silence, alexia finishing first as her bowl was placed on the coffee table as yours soon joined and you decided to address your worries.
"ale." you started softly, gently nudging her thigh with your knee as she hummed but otherwise remained quiet. "is something wrong baby?" you asked cautiously, a shake of her head all you got in return.
"okay. because it seems like you're upset about something and if i've done anything can we please talk about it?" you requested, messing about with your fingers in your lap. "i am not upset amor." alexia replied quietly and your tension melted a tiny bit hearing the nickname but still she would not meet your eye.
you accepted her words at first, grabbing your bowls and heading back to the kitchen to wash up. once again most times you even tried your girlfriend was there in a second, lifting you up to sit on the counter and refusing to let you help.
but just like when you cooked she remained on the sofa engrossed in the football, only getting up to use the bathroom as you finished and returned by her side.
the alarm bells sounded once more when you grabbed her arm and tried to tuck into her side. the blonde gently pushed you back, mumbling about wanting a little space in spanish making you frown.
"alexia." you sighed, patience wearing thin as she hummed. "alexia!" you spoke a lot firmer now, standing to move and block her eyeline toward the tv with a frown.
"mi amor i can tell you are upset. please stop being so stubborn and tell me whats wrong so we can talk about it!" you ordered, crossing your arms and shuffling side to side as she tried to crane her neck to see past you.
"alexia!" you groaned at the silence that followed, the blonde stretching out down the sofa with a shrug, hands folded behind her head. "why are you being like this?" you asked again, tone softening a little as the insecurity started to creep through that you'd done something.
"i am not being like anything." "exactly! you're ignoring me, you're being moody-" "you did not seem to care when you were with her."
it was mumbled so quietly you almost missed it, but you didn't and then suddenly everything made sense, blocks falling into place as your worries melted away and a smile curled onto your lips.
"oh my god. you're jealous!" you laughed, which was probably the wrong response as your girlfriend gave you a glare and halfheartedly kicked you, ordering you to move out of her way as she was missing the game.
"ale, angel." you started, wrenching her arms away from where they were crossed tightly over her chest, settling your body on top of her. "why are you jealous mm?" you smiled, hands falling to clasp her cheeks, turning her head and forcing her to look at you.
"who was that girl? the one you hugged for a very long time." alexia countered with a question of her own, hands moving to grip your hips. "my other girlfriend." you answered casually, alexias fingers digging into the soft skin of your sides warning you against teasing.
"dios mio ale. that was my best friend, rosie. the one who is always travelling! she is on her way to portugal with her fiance and dropped in to see me." you smiled, thumbs tracing the sharp lines of her jawline.
only receiving a hum in response you rolled your eyes, growing tired of her moody behavior. "how many times-" you dipped your head and placed a kiss to the collumn of her throat. "-do i have to assure you-" the next ones were either side of her neck.
"-that the only person i have eyes for-" now a kiss just beneath her ear, teeth tugging teasingly at the lobe. "-is you." you kissed her nose, smiling softly.
"you are not the problem, it is other people i do not trust."
"you think my best friend is going to pull a move on me? mi vida i know you are a jealous woman but that is something else." you grinned, alexia's frown melting into a slight pout as she huffed.
"not what i meant!" "no but you are being moody for no reason."
"you know i scored all those goals for you today baby, nobody else." you mumbled, kissing all over her face and purposefully avoiding her lips as her pout grew a little with each one.
"you missed." alexia demanded, her own hands now moving to grab your face halting the treasure map your lips were creating along her skin. "oh lo siento mi amor." you nodded understandingly, leaning in as if to kiss her but moving so your lips pressed against her temple.
"hey!" alexia exclaimed, eyebrows furrowing making you grin. "i love you, only you. silly stubborn jealous idiot!" you teased, pecking her lips repeatedly in between each word.
"next time, talk to me amor. don't just be a big moody baby!" you cooed pinching her cheeks, squealing as suddenly you were beneath her, the older girl effortlessly swapping your positions now hovering over you.
"mi amor, mi vida, mi novia, mi corazón-" alexia pressed her lips against yours after each word, clearly making a point as her legs tangled with yours and her fingers interlocked pinning your hands either side of your head.
"-mi cariño, mi niña bonita, mi preciosa, mine." alexia rasped, finally kissing you properly as you shifted beneath her, her tongue slipping in and filthily roaming your mouth as you withheld the urge to moan.
the catalan pulling away both of your chests heaved and her thumb traced your bottom lip, tugging on it slightly as her soft hazel eyes roamed over every single inch of your face.
"mine." she whispered again, kissing you gently and letting go of your hands. her own slipping up the inside of your top you sighed contently, lips moving to your neck as her nose knocked against your jaw encouraging your head turn to give her more access.
"now bebita i think i have some goals to reward you for, no?"
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sunnyaelia · 28 days
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I love your works a lot, could I please request one for Alexia, where the team has read (and believed) rumors where R is supposedly joining Real Madrid or Lyon. They turn a cold shoulder and are very harsh on her during the trainings, including Alexia who couldn’t get the rumors out of her head. R can’t take the sudden change of attitude from her family and leaves the training facility. Irene and Mapi come clear up the situation with clear disappointment. When Alexia and the girls can’t get a hold of Y/N until the next morning hysterics are starting. Alexia gets a call that Y/N in the hospital… You can make it as angsty as possible (like real real angsty)
Transfers and Teammates
Part 2
Please it’s become such a classic for reader to end up in the hospital to make it more angsty LMAO but I’m down, let’s get the tissues out - I decided to write this one first since my inbox got flooded yesterday with people asking for more Alexia angst and to make it angstier - this should suffice
I tried to make this as realistic as it could still be bc I didn’t just want a random car to hit the reader and she’s on life support all of a sudden lol so bare with me - it’s inspired by a real life story so it can happen! stay safe y’all and take warning signs seriously when you’re not feeling well 
also pulled out my knowledge from several internships at a hospital for this one so should be accurate 
pure angst
Warnings: mentions of nausea and other symptoms of throwing up as well as mentions of blood and a wound, nobody dies don’t worry
-
The day started like it always did. You had breakfast, got changed at home and arrived to training in a relatively good mood since the sun was shining and it was warm out. The first time you noticed something was up, was when Mapi was the only one in the changing room to happily greet you. Normally it was a wild chant of everyone saying hola - today only she excitedly said something, the rest mumbling or staying silent. You chalked it up to it being a very early training and only a few people present in the changing room and didn’t think much about it, distracted by Mapi talking about her weekend. 
Later during drills you were a bit caught off guard when Jana came up to you and told you that she couldn’t make it to the dinner tonight you two had planned. She usually didn’t cancel and especially not without giving a reason and then hurrying off before you could even answer. It stung a bit and you tried to tell yourself that she was just insanely busy and not in the right mood at the moment. Still, there was a weird feeling left over. 
That weird feeling got worse when Alexia arrived. You two weren’t quite together, still in the dating phase and trying to keep it professional but she didn’t even really say hello, sending you a half smile before quickly disappearing. This one stung a lot more since she had been away these past days and just come back and you didn’t even get a hug. At first you thought she might just be tired from the journey and not in the mood for any affection but she happily let Mapi jump into her arms and greeted everyone else with a hug. It was an embarrassing feeling to be singled out like that and you couldn’t help but rack your brain for anything you might have done. 
You had answered all her phone calls, you had texted her back every single time - in fact she had been the one to leave you on read yesterday afternoon all of a sudden, you had given her some space to have fun with her distinct family she was visiting without bothering her with text messages but had still shown adequate interest in what she was doing. In your book you had done everything right. She hadn’t even answered when you asked if she wanted to meet up today and you had thought that she might just want to discuss that in training with you in person. 
But Alexia apparently didn’t want to discuss anything with you, keeping away from you the entire time at first. When she started coming over during drills you thought she would finally talk to you - and she did, but only to chastise you and telling you to concentrate more. You had to admit that you weren’t fully focused but it was starting to dawn on you that everyone was ignoring you right now. Mapi had left for her physio appointments since she still couldn’t train with you guys normally, sadly. Ingrid was sick so she also wasn’t there. Everyone else was and apparently had some kind of problem with you, Pina only grumpily pairing up with you. 
Granted, some simply seemed too busy to pay attention like Keira and Aitana that were giggling about something in the far right corner of the field. Or Lucy who was busy staring at Ona. 
But something felt off and it only got more intense as the day went on. Avid conversations stopping as soon as you got closer, nobody bothering to wait for you when it was time to go to lunch, Alexia turning away whenever you tried to talk to her, nobody even really responding to anything you said. 
At first you thought it might just be because your teammates were in a bad mood - the early morning trainings were not for everyone and you knew several people on the team who struggled with getting up for them. But everybody else was talking animatedly among each other - just not with you. Then you thought occurred that they might be playing a prank on you since it was clear that they were pushing you away from them. But the behaviour didn’t stop all day, leaving you dejected and sad when you left the training grounds at the end of training. You hoped that Alexia might finally respond to your message, sending her a short one to ask if everything is okay. A simple “sí.” came as a reply. She never texted with periods. So you knew something was wrong but she ignored your follow up question, unashamedly leaving you on read. 
The night wasn’t much better than the day, you tossed and turned in your bed at what you could have possibly done to make everyone simultaneously mad at you. The feeling of apparently everyone hating you sent you into a deep hole of anxiety, lost on what to do or who to turn to. When you got ready for training the next day you were hopeful that if it was a prank then maybe they’d stop today when they see your red swollen eyes and puffy face from crying yourself to sleep. 
Maybe nobody cared, maybe it really wasn’t a prank but the behaviour continued on, getting even worse over time. Alexia reprimanding you for every little thing, telling you be faster during training and chastising you hard and loud whenever you made a small mistake during games. It was horrible. She still refused to talk to you, quickly walking away when you tried taking to her in one of the breaks. The rest wasn’t much better, you noticed the clear disdain in their eyes as they talked about you, their hushed conversations stopping whenever you walked past. You really didn’t understand what had happened. Last Friday everything had been good, everyone had been nice you had been talking a lot with the others and making plans for the weekend - and now? 
When you looked at your phone in the second break as a means to keeping yourself occupied since nobody wanted to talk to you anyway, you saw that Mariona and Paños had also cancelled their plans for the weekend with you. Both of them were literally standing next to the cooler box only a few meters away but had still gone out of their way to text you this instead of just talking to you. 
The lump in your throat was difficult to swallow down, you quickly went on Instagram to distract yourself, not even noticing what pictures you were looking at with the tears brimming at your eyes. Where had you gone wrong? 
The second half of training was a nuisance. Between Alexia’s sharp commands for you to be better, Jana dragging her feet when she was supposed to be pairing up with you - clearly not a fan of having to work with you and the way everyone seemed to whisper about you behind your back, you were not doing well. 
You chalked up the nausea you were feeling to the fact that you had skipped dinner last night and breakfast this morning, the heaviness of your sadness making your stomach feel like a stone. Maybe the way you felt like you were overheating was coming from the fact that Alexia didn’t let up on her criticism on you. Whatever it was, at the end of training while trying to untie your boots you noticed how shaky your hands were, fingers struggling to grasp the laces and pull them apart. You shortened your shower by a lot, not only because you didn’t feel good but also because you couldn’t stand the stares any longer, still confused on what you had done. You had originally planned on asking Jana or maybe Lucy what had happened and why everyone suddenly hated you so much, but your legs felt unsteady the longer you were standing up so you decided to just hurry home. They probably wouldn’t want to talk to you anyway. 
You tried to take good care of yourself once you reached your home, stumbling inside and walking towards the kitchen to get something to eat, hoping it would ease the nausea you were feeling and stop your hands from shaking so hard. You noticed that something wasn’t right when you grabbed a glass of water, it almost swapping over the rim with how hard your hand was shaking now. You still tried to drink a bit, having to stop after two sips as a weird feeling was spreading through your stomach. Pain seeping out from the middle of your stomach as if you had eaten something bad, the feeling extremely uncomfortable as it felt like your intestines were being wrung out. You didn’t have much time to think about what was wrong, the feeling of saliva collecting in your mouth alerting you of what was happening a moment too late as you threw up a second later. You barely managed to spit it into the sink, after not having eaten for quite some time there wasn’t much anyway. 
Now convinced that you had acquired some kind of stomach bug or maybe Ingrid had infected you with whatever she had, you quickly swished some water in your mouth. The pain wasn’t that much better and you could swear that your skin felt hotter than usual. For a moment you thought about calling Alexia for help, though you quickly pressed that thought to the side. Maybe this whole thing had been her way of ending things between you anyway, who knew. As much as the thought hurt that she might have lost her feelings for you, you could barely concentrate on it as the pain continued. Your task of making a chamomile tea to hopefully calm your stomach down was quickly abandoned as you broke out in cold sweat when you tried to reach for the kettle. You needed to lie down. 
Since your bedroom was further away you tried to get over to the couch, gasping when the discomfort of walking turned into a sharp pain as soon as you sat down on the sofa. Thankfully you quickly fell asleep despite the pain, exhausted from the training session. 
When you woke up some time later it was still light outside, for a moment confused what had woken you up as you tried to adjust to the brightness again. The sharp pain on your right side made you groan out loud at the discomfort, rolling from your back onto your side to ease the pressure. It hurt terribly, almost as if you were getting stabbed repeatedly in the side. The more awake you got the more you realised that this might be something more than a stomach bug. Your skin was covered in sweat, you felt completely overheated despite being dressed lightly and you could feel the saliva gathering in your mouth again. This time you couldn’t even throw up dry heaving and wincing when you attempted to get up and another sharp pain shot through you. Instinctively you pressed down onto the right side where your stomach felt like it was being burnt right now, hoping to ease the feeling a bit. Though that turned out to be a mistake as the burst of pain that followed made your vision black out for a moment. You definitely needed help. You patted the pockets of your tracksuit, realising that you had left your phone in your bag which was still standing next to the front door in the hallway. You weren’t even sure who to call, still crouched over as you set one shaky leg in front of the other to get your phone. 
It was almost torture trying to reach that bag, your vision blurred from tears as you tried to resist the urge to just let yourself fall to the ground. Your whole body was violently shaking when you finally reached it, pulling your phone out of the side pocket. For a moment you were unsure who to call. First instinct was Alexia of course, the person you had gotten quite close with here. But the way she had treated you these past two days flashed through your head and for a moment you were uncertain if she’d even pick up if you called - or if she picked up, would she really help? Maybe she’d be annoyed that you were even bothering her. Your thoughts were spinning or maybe it was the ground beneath you as you sat down and tried your best to get yourself together. You went through your list of teammates, the next options were Mapi and Ingrid but Ingrid was probably still sick and Mapi couldn’t drive that well with her injury right now. You didn’t want to bother them anyway, feeling a bit embarrassed at the current state you were in. Would they even want to help? Mapi had still been nice to you yesterday but maybe she also didn’t like you anymore now. 
Pressing the cold and sweaty hands against your eyes to stop the room from turning upsides down, you tried to gather your thoughts, overthinking if you maybe just needed to lay down for a bit and stop being dramatic. Though the very sharp pain that shot through your right side made you reconsider that one, the tears in your eyes overflowing at the horrible feeling. You cowered together on the ground, trying to find a position that would maybe hurt a bit less before deciding that you’d just drive yourself to a doctor. 
It maybe wasn’t your best plan as it took you almost half a minute to get up from the floor, breath shaky and unsteady as you got up, still slightly bent over to ease the pain and with one hand gently holding your stomach as you took your keys and tried to reach the front door. You barely registered when the room suddenly spun again, confused at the way your head suddenly hurt before you realised that you had fallen. You were too out of it at this point to feel the blood seeping from your forehead from where you had banged it against the shoe rack during your fall, only  noticing once it started to gather at your eyebrow, slowly dripping onto the ground. 
It was definitely pure luck that your neighbour saw you when you got up again and opened the front door, the older lady extremely concerned when she saw the state you were in. She refused to let you drive to a doctor, assuring you that you needed to go to the hospital before guiding you to her car and driving you herself. She was incredibly kind, talking to you the entire time to keep you conscious as your vision kept fading away. At some point you stopped feeling embarrassed about this whole situation, the immense pain you were in suppressing any other emotions and you were pretty out of it when you reached the hospital and one of the nurses helped you sit down in a wheelchair, barely registering the questions she was asking as you tried your hardest to stay conscious. 
The next day at training everyone was a bit confused when you didn’t turn up. You were often one of the first ones - secretly mostly so you’d have a chance to spend more time with Alexia though she didn’t know that. Many weren’t that concerned, a few getting a bit snippy and talking about how you had maybe transferred even earlier so you didn’t have to deal with the repercussions. Mapi heard one of the comments, frown on her face as she turned to Cata who had said it, inquiring what she meant. 
It was Lucy who answered, neutral about the situation since she had transferred quite a few times in her life as well. 
“She’s transferring to Real Madrid. Didn’t tell any of us, did you know?” Mapi shook her head while Alexia’s face turned dark at the reminder. 
She had spend the entire time away from you over the weekend thinking about how much she misses you and how to ask you officially to be her girlfriend, buying flowers - choosing red roses to be romantic -  your favourite chocolate and a necklace with a small A on it. She had planned to ask you to come over on Sunday after she had arrived back home, though her plans came to a halt when she checked her messages for a moment. 
There was a screenshot sent from Jana of a post from one of the most reliable sources when it came to transfer news - someone who had been able to predict Alessia Russo switching from Manchester United to Arsenal or who had known even before her that Lucy would transfer to Barcelona, followed by Keira. She had wondered quite a few times already who was behind the page, suspecting that it might be an insider which would explain how they were always accurate. Whoever it was, the person had posted transfer news of you. 
Set to transfer to Real Madrid in 2024 
in bold writing, underneath a picture of you. 
Alexia had been quick to search the actual post on instagram, reading through thousands of comments of Real Madrid fans being delighted at the prospect of you joining them and Barça fans leaving disgruntled comments and claiming that you’d never do that and that their club was the better one anyway. 
That’s what Alexia had thought as well, that you’d never transfer. You had just told her a few days before this how much you loved Barcelona, how happy you were here and how proud you were to wear the badge of Barça. Had you only said all of that because you knew how proud Alexia was when it came to her club? Had all of it been a lie? 
She tried to tell herself at first to give it some time, to see if you had really transferred and not even told her about it. But the lingering sadness at the prospect of you leaving turned into anger, especially when everyone else on the team seemed to have absolutely no doubt that you would transfer. Jana hadn’t sent the screenshot to everyone, just Alexia. The others saw it over instagram when Paños mentioned it in a training break. A training break that Mapi and Ingrid hadn’t attended because Mapi was at her physio appointment and Ingrid was sick. 
Hearing the explanation from Lucy and being shown the post by Jana herself didn’t do anything to solve Mapi’s confusion. Neither did it help Ingrid’s who had finally recovered and was back at training, floored at what she was hearing. 
“So you saw one post about her transferring, she didn’t mention anything and that’s why you’re all mad?” 
“It’s Real Madrid! Of all the clubs she could have chosen she wants to transfer to our enemies.” It was Cata who had spoken up, the goalkeeper quite close to you because of so many extra training lessons and secretly more angry that you hadn’t told her, rather than the choice of the club. The rest murmured in agreement, some shouting in the room that you didn’t even bother to tell anyone about this. 
“It’s not even proven. Does she even know of the transferring? Because I doubt she’d just get up and leave. Especially to Real Madrid, why would she ever want to go there after playing for Barcelona?” As always Ingrid was the calmer one, trying to talk sense into the others while Mapi started getting agitated, asking more questions about why nobody had bothered to just ask you about it. The answers didn’t satisfy her, most had simply been too awkward to bring it up while others like Lucy were certain that it was none of their business and you’d come tell them once you were ready. 
When training started the conversation dispersed though now several had a bad feeling about the fact that you didn’t show up for training and were also ignoring their text messages. The realisation that they had truly messed up came, when the instagram page posted again about how they had made a mistake and that you wouldn’t transfer, Real Madrid had just made an insanely high offer for you. Even beforehand most had felt quite bad at how they had treated you but now everyone felt horrible. Alexia had tried multiple times to reach you, calling again and again and texting you that you needed to talk and that she was sorry. Your phone was still in the pocket of your tracksuit, screen lighting up from time to time as more messages from other teammates about your whereabouts came flooding in. 
When Alexia was changing into her normal clothes after training and her shower, she was quick to grab her phone excitedly and accept the call that was incoming, for a moment certain that it would be you. It wasn’t. The voice on the other end of the line introduced herself as a nurse at the hospital, telling her that she was calling because Alexia was saved as your emergency contact.
A few others in the changing room turned towards her when she slowly sank down on the bench, stomach turning when she heard that you had been brought in yesterday evening and to please come over since you needed some stuff. She had to fight to pay concentration to what the nurse wanted her to get for you, only shortly thanking her and saying goodbye before she threw her stuff into her bag, only giving everyone a very short summary that you were in the hospital before hurrying out of the room and towards her car. 
She was rushing all the way home, since she didn’t have a key for your house, she was going to have to get clothes and shampoo and everything you needed from her own home which was thankfully closer anyway.
She couldn’t help but be a tiny bit relieved that she had made you put someone in Barcelona down as your emergency contact when you had filled out the insurance papers, insisting that you needed someone from here to be there for you incase something happened. You had put her down for it, telling her that you had full trust that she’d be there if you ever got into trouble. It had earned you a sweet kiss, Alexia quite pleased as you wrote her name and number down onto the paper.
At least she now knew what had happened to you though that didn’t absolve the horrendous guilt she felt right now. You had been there since yesterday, all alone. It was early midday now. And that in a country whose language you could only halfway understand. The thought made her speed up the car, anxious for her own arrival. 
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girlgenius1111 · 1 month
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You Come Back With Gravity
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alexia and r have an argument. r misunderstands, and when alexia leaves to calm down, she thinks she's going for good. angst + fluff :)
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Alexia was big on communication, and she didn't like to fight. Neither did you, although your track record in past relationships may argue otherwise. That was more on your former partners, though, than it was on you. Not fighting was new for you. Alexia never yelled, and she insisted that the two of you talk about any issues that were going on calmly, and like adults. A voice had never been raised between the two of you, arguments never escalating to full blown shouting matches, mostly because of Alexia's insistence that they didn't.
Something about this argument, though, felt different. Alexia had proposed a few weeks ago, and, after having a bit too much to drink, you'd brought up something that had been nagging at the back of your mind for a while. Alexia had brushed it aside that night, and again and again since, until you practically forced her to talk about it. Normally, when you presented Alexia with an issue you had, she was quick to try to fix it. Your teammates often joked about the complete 180 Alexia did when she was around you, melting and agreeing to anything you asked of her. You were the same way for her, but it was more surprising that their normally very willful captain so easily did as you said.
If Alexia wouldn't budge on an issue, she normally had a reason, and you didn't require her to explain herself to you. This was different, though. You needed an explanation, before your mind continued to take off in the worst directions.
"Alexia, do you not see that this is important to me?"
"I do, amor, but there is no room for discussion. We are not going public with our relationship. It has stayed low key for this long, and I intend to keep it that way." Alexia was quickly losing her patience with you, and you could tell. Still, you persisted. 
'You won't even give me a reason, Ale! Is this what our relationship is going to be like for the rest of our lives? You make a decision that affects both of us, and I just have to live with it?" Your voice was slightly raised and you could tell Alexia was upset. You were pacing around the room, and she was sitting, completely still, on the couch. Alexia was never still. A part of her was always moving.
"I am not changing my mind on this, mi amor." Alexia told you calmly, although her jaw clenched tight when she finished speaking.
"Okay, well that's it. You don't care what I think. Whatever you say goes, is that it?" You were using anger to hide how terrified you were. There was really only one reason that you could think of to explain Alexia's complete refusal to be transparent about your relationship.
"You know that it is not."
"This is absurd, Ale, we can't even have a conversation without you-"
"¡Basta! Stop yelling, I do not want to talk anymore about this," Alexia shouted finally, rising to her feet.
"I am yelling because you are not listening to me,"
"You are not listening to me. No more of this, we can discuss it when we are both calmer."
"I don't want to push this aside again, I would like to resolve it now." You tried to calm yourself down slightly despite your words, drawing in a few deep breaths as you waited for your fiancée to respond.
"It is resolved. There is no discussion to be had. There is no other option; we are not going public. No."
You let out a humorless laugh, and Alexia's eyebrows shot up. She did not like to be laughed at.
"You aren't being fair, Alexia. I deserve an explanation for why you are so very ashamed of me, to the point you don't want anyone to know we are together."
Alexia rolled her eyes, not taking your statement seriously. She thought you were just being dramatic, there was no way you really believed that. You did believe it, though and Alexia's complete dismissal in the face of your admitted vulnerability made you furious.
"Jesus, Alexia. Fine. You get your way. As usual. Captain Alexia always gets what she wants." You yelled, throwing yourself down on the couch dramatically and burying your head in your hands. You didn't want to cry while you were fighting with her, and you swallowed the lump in your throat. You knew you weren't being fair, or particularly nice but Alexia had hurt your feelings and she didn't even seem to understand why.
It was dead silent for a full minute before Alexia let out a long, drawn out exhale, and spoke.
"You are being mean. I am going to go to Alba's."
Her words were stiff, clearly communicating how upset she was with you, and you whipped your head up to look at her, watching as she headed towards the door, grabbing her keys. She put her airpods in, but you didn't see her do so.
"Ale? Are you coming back?" You called, voice full of insecurity.
Alexia couldn't hear you, not with her music playing as loud as it was, and she walked out the door without acknowledging that you'd spoken.
You were frozen. This was what you always did; take a small fight and push it so far that the other person finally saw that you weren't worth the trouble. It hadn't happened with Alexia yet because you'd never fought with her. It wasn't enough that she didn't want anyone to know the two of you were together, you had to push her until she didn't want to be with you, period.
You were an over-thinker to your core, and you were convinced, absolutely, that you had just destroyed the most important relationship that you'd ever had. It was hard to breathe, hard to think, the suffocating weight of thinking that the woman you loved was not coming back taking over.
You weren't sure why you were surprised. People left, people always left. Why would this be any different? Alexia was the best person you'd ever known, and she deserved far better than what you could give her, even when you were at your best. Of course Alexia didn't want anyone to know that she was with you. Of course she didn't want you. You had only yourself to blame.
-----
While you sat alone in your apartment, spiraling, Alexia was driving not to her sisters, but to the beach. She needed some peace and quiet to think, which she surely would not find at Alba's.
She just needed to cool down. You were upset, she was upset, and continuing on like you had been would only lead you both to say things you didn't mean. She'd take an hour, calm down, and head home. Alexia had no idea that you had asked her a question before she'd left, had no idea that you were sitting at home, convinced she was done with you.
The longer she was gone, though, the more guilty she felt. She remembered the look on your face when you'd spoken:
"I deserve an explanation for why you are so very ashamed of me, to the point you don't want anyone to know we are together."
She thought you were just trying to make a point at the time, but as she got space from the fight, and from her own anger, she felt less sure about that judgment. You'd looked distraught when you said it. It would explain why you were so very upset with her reluctance to go public, why you were so very upset with her.
Alexia had watched many relationships fall apart once they hit the public eye; some of her own, and some of them, her friend's. She didn't want that. As long as you two kept this to yourselves, allowing your loved ones and teammates to know and no one else, the media couldn't destroy it. That was Alexia's biggest fear; losing you, and having no control over it.
Of course, you were sat at home, practically catatonic, at the thought that you had lost Alexia.
-----
Alexia didn't even make it an hour like she planned. She was parking in the driveway 44 minutes after she'd left, flowers next to her in the front seat, as she tried to figure out if she'd given you enough space to think. She determined that she had, mostly because she couldn't stand leaving things like this any longer, and she fixed her hair in the mirror, tucking the shorter pieces behind her ears in the way she knew you liked, before grabbing the flowers.
When she had left, it was still light out. It was dark, now, and Alexia was surprised when she opened the door and there was not a light on in the house. She panicked slightly, wondering if you'd left, before spotting your silhouette on the couch. Exactly where you'd been when she left. It looked like you hadn't moved, even an inch. The blonde slipped her shoes off, walking cautiously closer to you, flipping on the light.
You didn't make a move, giving her no indication that you knew she was there with you. Alexia could tell you were trembling, and every breath you drew in came with a small, pained whimper. Alexia was more than concerned, now. She dropped the flowers on the table, before crouching down in front of you.
"Mi amor?" She said softly, weary to touch you, not wanting to startle you.
"Hey, amor?" She spoke slightly louder this time. Still, you didn't even twitch. Tentatively, she reached her hand out, letting her hand wrap around your wrist. She was going to try to pull your hand away from your face, but you beat her to it, jumping a foot in the air at her touch, and scrambling backwards.
"It is me, amor, it is just me," Alexia reassured, throwing her hands up in the air, and not moving any closer.
"Ale?" You gasped, as if you couldn't believe that she was here in front of you. You were half convinced you were hallucinating. It felt like 2 minutes had passed, but also like it had been hours since she left.
"It is just me," Alexia repeated, taking a seat on the very edge of the couch. You were still shaking, and Alexia longed to bring you into her arms.
"What are you doing here?" You asked.
"What do you mean?"
"You came back. Why?"
"Why... why would I not come back? This is our home. Ours. Did you not want me here?" Alexia asked insecurely, entirely confused at your reaction. Your eyes were watery, and you bit your lip, shaking your head at her.
"No, I want you here, I... I asked if you were coming back. And you left without answering."
"Qué?" Alexia asked, looking genuinely confused. Alexia couldn't lie to you, and if she'd ignored something you'd said, she'd admit to it.
"Before you walked out the door, I asked if you were coming back." You explained further, although you were already relaxing slightly. Ale was here, she came back.
A look of realization dawned over your girlfriend's face. "I had my headphones in, amor, I did not hear you."
Now that Alexia could see where your mind had started to go, it wasn't hard to piece the rest of it together. It made sense, suddenly, why you were so upset. You'd thought Alexia had left you.
It was only seconds after that revelation that Alexia was reaching across the couch and pulling you into her arms; one wrapped tightly around your back, the other hand lacing through your hair and pushing your face into her neck. You clung tightly to her, melting into her touch.
"I would never leave you. Not today, not tomorrow. Not ever. I wanted to calm down, so we could have a conversation. I should have thought that through, bebé, I am so sorry."
You shook your head against her. "I shouldn't have overreacted, it was just that you were so upset, and we never fight. You're so good, Ale, it's like I'm always waiting for the other shoe to drop, always waiting for you to realize that you can do better. I thought you had, I thought that's why you didn't want anyone to know about us."
Alexia shut her eyes tightly. You'd meant what you'd said earlier, then, and she'd completely dismissed it. She guided you away from her, just a bit, cradling your face in her hands. She brushed your hair back out of your face, pursing her lips as she tried to figure out what to say.
"It was not an overreaction. You thought I ignored you, you thought I was leaving. I know how nervous these things make you, mi amor, I should have been clearer."
"Amor, do you think that I want to keep our relationship private because I am ashamed of you?" When Alexia said the words, it felt ridiculous. You knew it was irrational to feel the way you felt, but at the same time… your fear was all encompassing. You tried to lean away from her, preserve some of your dignity even as more tears slid down your face, but Alexia wouldn't let you. "Hey, no. Tell me, por favor.” 
“You’re you Ale. And I’m just me. I would understand if you didn’t want people to know you were with me, you should be with someone better, prettier,-” 
“Stop.” Alexia said, shaking her head frantically. She looked physically pained at your words. “Stop. You are not allowed to talk about yourself like that. You are mí niña, mí niña perfecta. I am proud that you are mine, everyday. You are the best, you are the prettiest. You are all I need, te prometo que.” The blondes eyes were wide with a desperate need for you to believe her. You wanted to. 
“Then why, Ale? Why don’t you want people to know you’re with me?” You chewed on your bottom lip when Alexia didn’t answer right away, and her thumb reached over to lightly tap it. You released your lip, tightening your grip on your girlfriend, only growing more terrified for her answer as time passed. 
“You are so perfect.” Alexia started, giving you a stern look when you shook your head on instinct. “It’s so easy with you. So easy to love you, so easy to be with you. The media complicates everything, the fans. They would say horrible things to you and about you. As long as no one knows, I can keep you safe. I can keep you mine. Just mine.” 
“Alexia, I’m not worried about that.” You assured her. 
“You should be, mi amor, I am worried about it.” Alexia emphasized, and you only really realized the stress this worry was causing her at that moment. “It would not be the first time the media has ruined a relationship, and I do not think I could survive it if I lost you.” The blonde’s voice cracked at the end of her sentence, and suddenly, she wasn’t holding you anymore, you were holding her. Cradling her face in your hands as you insistently tried to get her watery, hazel eyes to meet yours. 
“Even if the media goes crazy, even if people say mean stuff. I’ll still want you, Ale. It won’t be fun but it’s worth it. If it’s for you? It’s worth it, it’ll always be worth it.” 
Alexia let out a sound that was halfway between a sob and a sigh of relief, burying her face in your neck. Her tears were wet against your skin, her breaths ragged and frantic. “Te amo,” she murmured. “You make me so happy, amor. If you are not worried about the media, then I will try not to be. If you want people to know, then we tell. Whatever you want, whatever you need. As long as you know that I love you, that you are perfect, that you are mine, forever. Para siempre.” 
Now you were crying, and she was still crying, as she gave you a very wet kiss, and it was entirely more emotional than either of you would have liked, but there was nothing to be done. The perfect relationship, you supposed, was one where you each thought the other to be perfect. Even if you didn’t see yourself that way, Alexia would always be there to convince you of your perfection, as you would for her.
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