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#butch and femme
anonfanficreader · 6 months
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I have seen far too many gen z queer people being outright lesbophobic, particularly toward butches, studs and lesbian transmasculinity in general. It shows in their refusal to say the words “butch” or even “lesbian;” it shows when they shame mascs for being “manly;” it shows when they think the word “femme” means to pass as cishet; when they ignore femmes’ historical relationship with butches; it shows when they assume all lesbians are TERFs (which is a total erasure of the sheer number of trans lesbians—including trans men—who have always been a part of our community); it shows when they describe lesbian love and lesbian sex and lesbian desire in general with solely feminine or yonic adjectives; in short it shows when their internalized misogyny shows
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your-gay-grandma · 10 months
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Butch/Femme history and culture introduction (written by a femme lesbian, deeply in love with being so)
💖Ideal for people immersing themselves in lesbian culture for the first time
🤍This post will contain brief summarising information about butch/femme culture and history as well as an introductory resource list for continuing your learning journey.
🧡It is by no means exhaustive and is intended as a very basic and simplified introduction that people can and should easily build on. Please try to keep this intention in mind before telling me i have neglected something!
⚠️ Disclaimer - this post is admittedly very centred on butch/femme history of the US and western culture in the 1900s. If there is a different culture or time that you’d be interested to learn more about, I would be overjoyed to research it so please let me know! Lesbianism has existed everywhere in every time and the cultural variation of this is beautiful and SO important. I do not want to neglect that but cannot fit it all in this brief introduction post.
“Whether reclaiming femininity from the male gaze or rejecting feminine gender norms by embracing butch, the subculture is intrinsically radical: it empowers lesbians to renounce patriarchal standards of beauty.” - Megan Christopher
What is butch/femme?
butch/femme is a lesbian subculture with a deep and rich history and culture. It goes far beyond masculine and feminine aesthetics and informs lesbian identity and dynamics. Butch/femme culture is a crucial part of LGBTQ+ history and culture as a whole.
It has existed for a very long time but it is very important to know that not all lesbians are butch/femme. In fact, most lesbians will not identify with either label and that is completely okay! You will see some lesbians describe themselves as butch4butch or femme4femme.
Traditionally, there is nothing in between butch/femme and to suggest otherwise negates the rich significance of the identities. Some people suggest it is a spectrum with “futch” in the middle. This is however not the case and the significance of this will become clear as we delve further into the importance of butch/femme identities to queer culture and history. Crucially too, straight women cannot be butch/femme
Aren’t butch/femme just replicating traditional heterosexual gender roles?
Absolutely not! In fact, they outwardly challenge them.
Gender and sex are constructs. A lot of lesbians find that butch/femme are gender identities in of themselves (myself included)
Instead, butch/femme are identities that encapsulate a particular “performance” of gender. The attributes of these may seem “masculine” or “feminine” but this is only because of the strict gender binary our society ascribes to gender performance.
Judith Butler, in their book Gender Trouble, notes that a lot of lesbians in general have a complex relationship to gender. This is because our binary perception of womanhood is constructed on the basis that “male” is default and “female” is the only sexed other. Because lesbianism is the only identity that totally de-centres men, a lot of lesbians (regardless of being butch, femme or neither) will not feel like they are conventionally “women”.
A lot of the time, butch/femme roles were and still are a source of safety and solace
Butch
Butch refers to masculinity in any number of ways
Butches typically and historically face high levels of discrimination and harassment for their gender non conformity.
A very important butch text is Stone Butch Blues, written by Leslie Feinberg
In the book, Feinberg discusses the importance of working-class identities to butchness.
Some butches are transmasculine. This doesn’t make them less of a lesbian, as long as they have ties to butchness and lesbianism.
Stone butches are lesbians who do not like to be touched (or “receive”) during sex
Femme
Femmes are lesbians who present more “femininely”.
Femmes do not necessarily conform to society’s perception of womanhood. Many will have complex relationships to gender identity or will present as hyper-feminine.
Hyper-femininity is an exaggerated performance of womanhood where aspects of dress, character and/or mannerisms of femininity may be heightened.
This is why a lot of the time lesbians can still “clock” (or recognise) femmes as being gay. Straight women tend to feel put off by the level of femininity common with hyper-feminine femmes.
History
In western culture, butch/femme culture existed underground or secret up until the mid 20th century. We can assume however that butch/femme dynamics have existed for a long time.
In the early 1900s, butch/femme dynamics were confined to underground gay bars.
In this case, femmes were often considered in a position of privilege as they were “straight passing” and could only be recognisably lesbian when accompanied by a butch.
Femmes will often assert sexuality through their femininity.
In the 1940s, butch/femme dynamics were extremely important and a thriving part of lesbian culture.
Women were allowed to enter bars without men.
In the US, butches would have to dress femininely in order to hold employment and avoid harassment and assault based on their preferred gender non-conformity.
Butches dressed in a way that was accepted by society, while still presenting as more masculine than the norm. Alix Genter writes that "butches wore long, pleated skirts with their man-tailored shirts, sometimes with a vest or coat on top"
In the 1950s, many butches refused to live these double lives. Their full-time masculine presentation made it difficult for them to work so they were often employed in factories or as taxi drivers. (hence the importance of working-class solidarity with butches)
Increased lesbian visibility and a strong anti-gay political stance at the time of McCarthyism led to increased attacks on queer women and resulted in a particularly defiant gay bar culture.
Butches are therefore extremely important in our fight for LGBTQ+ rights. It was butches and trans women who were known for fighting back for our rights and visibility.
In the 1970s, particular sentiments of lesbian separatist feminism declared masculinity and butchness was harmful to women. This led to the popularisation of more androgynous fashion amongst lesbians including boots, jeans and flannels. This movement weakened butch identifiers and is known for alienating lesbians of colour and working class lesbians.
Lesbian separatism is essentially the idea that lesbians should exist separate to men and heterosexual women. That is why some theorists believed performances of masculinity were harmful (while others did not believe this and it is obviously not true)
Introductory reading list (online articles that are short and accessible)
how butch/femme subcultures allow gay women to thrive by Megan Christopher for VICE: https://www.vice.com/en/article/wjwzqx/how-butch-femme-subcultures-allow-gay-women-to-thrive
A good introduction to the radical history and importance of butch/femme identities.
The Lesbians That Founded The Gay Village And The Mafia Alliance They Made For Protection by Diana Robertson: https://www.huffpost.com/entry/the-lesbians-that-founded-the-gay-village-and-the-mafia_b_5941d7a1e4b0d99b4c921126
Really helpful history!
No Matter What’s Gendertrending, the Butch is Here To Stay by Jack Halberstam
https://web.archive.org/web/20180907141513/https://www.afterellen.com/tv/443117-no-matter-whats-gendertrending-the-butch-is-here-to-stay
I don’t like the suggestion of the title but the article itself has good information. Jack Halberstam is an important queer theorist. I also recommend his writings on queer failure. This article has some generally good direction about butchness, especially in modern media. “Butch is always a misnomer; masculine but not male, female but not feminine, the term serves as a placeholder for the unassimilable, for that which remains indefinable or unspeakable within the many identifications that we make and that we claim.”
Key books for a deeper understanding (and their pros and cons)
The Persistent Desire: A Femme–Butch Reader by Joan Nestle
Gender Trouble by Judith Butler (one of my favourite books of all time. Really difficult to get through but very worthwhile and completely changed the way I understand sex and gender)
Stone Butch Blues by Leslie Feinberg (an incredibly important lesbian text. Can be very difficult to get through, especially emotionally. Please make sure to check triggers before reading)
Dagger: On Butch Women by Lily Burana
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"I find myself feeling frustrated while writing, thinking you, the reader, must picture me as far more femme than I am. Although I enjoy wearing skirts, I often wear pants. I rarely wear makeup (although I do have a fetish for nail polish), and I proudly wear my facial hair. I neither love nor hate to cook or clean house and have healed (finally) my codependent need to be eternally present for my partner. By nobody's standards am I "delicate, docile, deferential, ladylike, refined, and genteel," as femininity is traditionally defined, although some might argue that I am "soft, tender, and submissive" - but only under the right circumstances. One friend, trying to reconcile my very assertive presence with my femme drag, called me a transvestite butch! I do not fit anyone's stereotype of a feminine woman, any more than I fit anyone's stereotype of a dyke.
A few years ago, I brought a pair of warm winter boots. I worked in an agency where all the women wore heavy femme drag, and even if I hadn't been out, my differentness was apparent. I wasn't sure if the agency would even let me wear boots to work. I walked into my office and then two male co-worker immediately began playfully whistling. "Ooh, new boots- hot butch," they teased me. Later that evening, I met my lover and another friend, both butch identified. They too teased: "Ooh, new boots- how femmy," they said. And I suppose that's what being a femme-dyke means. The boys think I'm butch, and the girls think I'm femme."
-"Femme-dyke", Arlene Istar, The Persistent Desire, (Edited by Joan Nestle) (1992)
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clottedscream · 5 months
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joined an Anime Campaign campaign with, among others, my lovely mutuals @mutiniir and @toiletapples. Playing a former cult leader with some fun healing powers. It’s so far been pretty heavy on the doomed yuri (pink haired girl, Lexi Toughnutt, is an npc)
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butchguamares · 6 months
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date night @seraphsuwun
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wetdyke · 9 months
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one of the many things that I love about having sex with my butch is the way that I've figured out how to navigate their body and make them lose control
I know exactly how to position my hips when she's fucking me to get her close to cumming
I know what words to moan in their ear to get them to put all their strength into fucking me
I know what parts of her body to gently brush my hands against to make her shudder with anticipation
I know the sensitive parts of their neck and chest where leaving hickeys will make them desperate to be inside me
I know what positions cause her to fuck me as hard as she possibly can
I know what types of kisses get them hard for me
I know what lingerie makes it impossible for her to keep her hands off my body
I know which parts of their back to scratch at and how to grab their ass to cause them to cum inside me
I love how well I know her body, every sensitive area, everything that turns her on, every way to make her cum
and I love how they know my body equally well
(minors dni. this post is about butch/femme lesbian sex. she/they pronouns for me and my partner.)
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ghostlymarcy · 12 days
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originally wrote this for uni but had to cut it. Thinking ab how — whilst gender as identity definitely still exists in tlt — traditional gender roles don't really, and gender isn't really the primary social dichotomy along which people are divided. Instead, you could propose that Necro/Cav is the new social dichotomy — with the majority of our characters in gtn being one or the other (of course this dichotomy only really applies to the small 0.01% of society that we see in gtn, but I like to assume the rest of Nine Houses society mirrors the Necro/Cav relations of their ruling class.) and so I thought in a typically me fashion: how would this paradigm shift affect lesbian identities? Butch and Femme are identities defined traditionally by masculinity or femininity, but what if they weren't? What if instead they were defined by adherence to their Necro/Cav roles?
Femmes are defined by their "necromancer-ness", with them often being skinny, malnourished, sickly, shorter, less colour in makeup/clothing, more stylistic or extravagant or regal fashion, integration of bodily motifs in dress (i.e. bone lacing or patterns with body-parts). Femmes exert soft power, controlling from the sidelines through manipulation. They would also be typically seen as playing the dominant and active role in a relationship.
Butches are defined by their "cavalier-ness", with them generally being more physically capable, stronger, faster, and more martial. They would typically wear more practical clothing, with a simpler, less emphasized look so as not to detract from their partners, and adorned with more metal and protective gear/pieces such as wrist bracers. They may also carry weapons as accessories. Butches exert literal power, acting through direct confrontation. They would also be typically seen as playing the more submissive and passive role in a relationship.
Courting would be an ordeal of Cavalier-Butches vying to win the attention of Necromancer-Femmes, generally through acts that show-off their physical capabilities and aptitude for service.
Of course necromancers can present traditionally butch and cavaliers can present traditionally femme, but I think it'd be fun to re-frame how we view these lesbian archetypes within a completely different social setting.
Interested if anyone else wants to expand on this idea hehe
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Gentle reminder to get a butch flowers
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cdfreak · 2 months
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⋆ ★ promo hour !! ★ ⋆
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bobby ✭ 17 ✭ fat gndrqueer butch lesbo ✭ weed dog
consider following my online diary!! i post primarily about video games and feminism, but this blogs content is barely consistent
i always love new friends but im especially looking for transfeminine and lesbian mutuals rn!!! butches and femmes own my heart 💕💕
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floralfemmes · 1 year
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there's so much beauty in butch/femme love, so much care, so much tenderness
butch/femme love is my butch "accidentally" leaving her flannel at my place because she knows I love wearing her clothes
butch/femme love is them holding my hand while I got my nipples pierced
butch/femme love is making a necklace for my butch and them immediately wearing it and not having taken it off since
butch/femme love is giggles between moans when we undress each other
butch/femme love is tenderness and care and sex and kindness and sharing and so much more than can ever be put into words.
different people experience it in different ways, and that's part of what makes it so lovely. none of what I've listed is universal, and that's an integral part of butch/femme love: the way it varies from person to person
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Butches 🤝 Femmes
Loving and looking out for each other
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rebeccaartemisa · 8 months
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First Dance Candelabra
2023
Gouache and grass stains on reclaimed wood
A piece from my summer solo show LOST ON PURPOSE at SATOR gallery in Portland, OR.
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llyfrenfys · 8 months
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hey im a butch lesbian learning welsh, and i've seen a few different ways of butch translating into Welsh (specifically bwts, bwtsh, and bwtch). i was wondering if there's any notable difference between the three words and also if there are any Welsh terms for femme? sorry for the long ask I'm just really curious and u seem like the guy to ask ! thanks in advance and i love yr blog ! <3
Hello!
It's very interesting that you say you've seen variations on 'bwtsh' since I'd only ever come across 'bwtsh'. 'Bwts' and 'Bwtch' are new to me- if you don't mind, would you mind sharing where you came across these (e.g. spoken/in slang, written down etc.)? I love to learn about new variations I haven't come across before!
I wouldn't say there's too much difference between 'bwts' and 'bwtsh', though 'bwtch' may be difficult for a native speaker to pronounce since in Welsh 'ch' is pronounced like the 'ch' in Loch (like Loch Ness).
The current official word for femme in Welsh is 'ffem'- though I feel like Welsh versions of butch and femme could be cool.
There are older terms which are analogous to women's masculinity and femininity, however, they have negative connotations. E.g. 'gwrywes' is an old term (circa 1700s) for a masculine woman. If one were to reclaim that term, you could theoretically coin a new term like 'fenywes' (which would literally translate to 'feminine girl') to compliment it. (Of course, other terms would be needed for butch/femme in the gay men's sense as well).
Hopefully that's been in any way useful. Thank you for the question, I love talking about these things!
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androgynealienfemme · 11 months
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"Night on the Town
When I step into my red silk panties and swivel into the matching strapless bra my butch bought for me for Valentine's Day
When I slide on my black mesh stockings with toes pointed, sitting on the edge of the bed like some Hollywood movie queen
When I shimmy into my spandex dress that sparkles and turns over the tops of my thighs like a disco ball over a snappy crowd
When I puff on my pink clouds of blush, brush my eyelashes long and lush, smear my lips and nails richer than ruby red
When I step into my sky high heels, snap on some shiny earrings and slip seventeen silver bracelets halway up my arm
When I dab my shoulders and neck, earlobes and wrists, cleavage and thighs with thick, musky perfume
When I curl my hair into ringlets that dip over one eye and bounce off my shoulder like a Clairol girl gone wild
When I turn from the mirror, pick up me purse and announce to my butch that I'm ready to go
When I see her kick the door shut, hear her declare, "We're not going anywhere, tonight"
When I whine and say, "But we never go out," following her back to the bedroom, my lips in a pout
When I give in and let her have her way with me pretending that wasn't my plan all alone"
"MY LOVER IS A WOMAN" by Lesléa Newman, On Butch and Femme: Compiled Readings, (edited by I.M. Epstein) (2017)
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broke-art-girl · 8 days
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Sexuality headcanons for Max and El?
Personally I think El is pan/lesbian leaning and Max is butch lesbian.
I can picture grown up biker Max and her little femme Eleven sitting up on her bike as they enjoy warm summer street food in a city Au.
Flower crown on El, leather jacket on Max. "Girls just wanna have fun" on blast as they speed down the roads.
I can totally see Max call her "Janey" as she puts on a pastel pink dress and dances along in their kitchen. I love Elmax OMG.
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butchguamares · 27 days
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Saw a lake with the little lady today
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