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#but yes....thats the plan....if you read this far i feel obliged to give you something else to contact me on so feel free to dm me
rumblelibrary · 3 years
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Okay this may sound like an oddly detailed request but can you do a Laszlo x reader where Laszlo has been courting the reader for a while and has never met her father, because her father is dead or abandoned her at a young age or something like that and she never told Laszlo, but Laszlo is instant on meeting him for some reason or something like that?
Sorry if thats a weird request
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Unofficial Meeting [Dr Laszlo Kreizler x Fem!Reader]
Word count: 1.8k
Warnings: a bit angsty, mention of old fashioned ideas
Author’s note: I hope you will like it and I respected your wishes <3
"Miss?"
The voice of your chamber maid called you distracting you from answering some correspondence.
"Yes?"
She smiled so widely as a bouquet of white roses and peonies was presented in front of you. She giggled as she was just so happy for you. You have been courted by Dr Laszlo Kreizler for some time now, but he never missed to send you flowers on a Saturday morning, it was his ritual since you two became serious.
"Those are so beautiful, miss"
She said excitedly before leaving you to read the note, she was probably living the romance through you which was quite weird but cute to witness.
You opened the card, Laszlo usually was a brief but intense poet, but this time the message was clear. Can I tempt you with a lunch at Delmonico's?
You frowned lightly before looking out of your window, his dark clothing making him strikingly visible in the greenery of the park in front of your house, he raised his hat for you and smiled.
Damn him and his top level courting.
You put your letters away and got ready spraying some perfume on you before going out, your maid helping you with your coat and hat.
When you stepped out of the front Door Laszlo was waiting in front of your gate.
"You could have called"
He smirked at you "it wouldn't have been a surprise" he concluded simply.
You smirked as it was true and you have also learned to admire the extent of Laszlo'd courtship. He was attentive and respectful, he knew when to trace a line to forbid any kind of bad talks. He was already famous for being a maverick and he didn't want to put that stigma on you too.
You obliged him as you walked your way together to the restaurant, he never failed to ask you about your day and your plans. he was very attentive and you reserved him the same tenderness asking him about his patients or latest articles.
Once you arrived at the restaurant you were brought to one of the best tables, Laszlo taking upon himself the honour to move your chair back behind you and then back toward you for you to sit comfortably.
"Thank you Laszlo"
He smiled proudly taking it as a compliment, but he looked rather stiff and tense for his usual mannerism toward you.
Once you ordered your meal he toyed with his glass of wine a bit attracting inevitably your attention.
"What is wrong?"
He looked at you surprised by your question, but he smiled because you sort of alleviated him from the weight of beginning what he wanted to ask.
"I was just wondering when I will be able to meet your father" he said just as directly as your question was "I met your grandmother and your uncles and aunts, I am missing somebody"
He said it quite easily as your mother had left this earth early for the standard and you regret she won't be able to see what an amazing man you met.
"You don't need to meet him"
He stared at you puzzled, what really concerned him wasn't your refusal, but more the hardness you showed into expressing it.
"I think I do"
You glared at him, your conversation briefly interrupted by the waiters landing the plates in front of the two of you.
He thanked them before looking back at you, your stern look still there.
You had discussions before but never of this size and also as much as he tried before to hint the theme of your father he wasn't acknowledged at all.
He also noticed how the rest of your family followed that same guideline, acting like they found you under a tree.
"I think it is something I have to do sooner or later"
You glared at him again.
"Stop it"
It was hard for him to stop. He was already launched on the theme and he was worse than a wild animal when he got fixated over a theme in particular.
You pushed some common ground theme while you ate. Like John or Sara's agency or other mundane things, but you hated to see the intensity in his look.
That question over and over into his mind.
You never hated to be with him as much as you did now.
You declined the offer of a dessert pretty quickly just wanting to go away.
Laszlo obliged and lead you back outside escorting you to your place.
"I don't mean to be invasive.."
"But you're" you confirmed to him "thank you for the lunch, I can walk myself home on my own”
You left him there moving after your house's gate.
He stood there biting the inside of his cheek nervously.
You didn't contact him any further on that day or the ones that followed, to be honest you avoided him and his flowers and attentions. You even stayed at home instead of attending places you were supposed to be, but where he also might find you.
Until your grandmother called you and you furiously ordered your maid to call the doctor and make him come at your place.
He arrived quicker than you expected. He was worried something happened, maybe you were ill and nobody told him.
When your maid showed him the way to your study and closed the door behind him he tried immediately to politely ask you about your state but your eyes burned holes like bullets in him.
“How dare you?” You growled at him. He stood still in front of you, his back straight even if you didn’t fail to notice the frown on his forehead.
“How dare you to call my grandmother? To ask her something I specifically told you I don’t want to share or talk or even mention? What is s hard about it? What makes you rightful to come bashing into my life asking for answers? “Y/N”
“No, no Y/N, you doctor, should learn to put a line between when you’re an alienist and when you’re a decent human being” you were being extra hard on him, but just earring your grandmother worried voice was enough to make you snap his neck.
He took your rage like a champion, even if he clearly was suffering it.
“Why is so important Laszlo? Why to see your mind at ease? It is just a man, somebody that doesn’t belong to my life, why you have to push it? Why you always have to push it?” “I just hoped..” “Hoped what? Hoped that a man that abandoned a pregnant woman while courting her was worth my time and thoughts? That I need to share my own life with somebody that wasn’t there? That never asked to meet me, or even see the woman he swore to every wind that he loved? That put my mother in the position of being considered a whore? How my grandma had to pretend I was hers to try give my mother a good shot at life?”
All those truths hit Laszlo like a bag of bricks, he was overwhelmed and saddened. Those situations were the ugliest in those times. Women always paying off the debts of the lust of men. The simple promise of a marriage just to gain something that could be tasted forever with a little more of wait. Just the human need to break a rule, just one, that revolutionary feeling that only losers at heart have. Because nobody makes a revolution over the expenses of a loved one.
“I had no idea” he concluded
“I hope you are satisfied now, your scientific mind has now all the puzzle pieces, now leave and let my family alone”
You could see his shoulders fall as you said that to him, his face paling in fear and sadness. He pressed his lips tight against each other, his jaw hurting as he didn’t know if at this point was really worth it to explain why he insisted so much. He ruined it, he tried to treat you with the white gloves and instead he hurt you even more.
“I apologise” he said staring at you, you letting him speak for the first time “I never meant to put you in such a position, I really just meant to be close to your family and I couldn’t see the fault in my own desires”
He admitted it but you didn’t wince, he crossed the line, he went too far and he needed to learn to respect the limits of others, not everyone needed to be under his care.
“I said you may leave”
He looked out of your window searching for words. Your anger was waving down as he looked so upset, and he should be.
“I am also a victim of our society in my own means, even if my behaviour is not excusable in any way, I stupidly fixated on the idea of doing things right with you and some things… Well, they teach us boys some things have to be asked to a father first”
You looked at him with a frown, you shook lightly your head as you didn’t understand his point and you were five seconds away from throwing him the vase with the latest flowers he sent you when you looked at him pul out a little velvet box from his inner pocket.
“The times are modern now, it was silly of me to try move past you like that” he leaned the box on your desk. He nodded at you respectfully leaving. You were left alone with that little box, you stared at it for a moment before moving closer to it.
You looked out of the window as you heard the gates closing and you watched Laszlo’s figure walk away.
Your eyes darted from his back to the box in front of you slowly opening it to find the ring of the dreams of any girl.
Tagged @cazzyimagines @lieutenantn @handmaiden-of-mischief@thesunflowersutra @zemomybeloved @fictionlandslanddreams @charistory @greeneyedblondie44 @apparrio @hb8301 @whatawildone @rhymerhymerhyme  @thehuiabird @lilith-blackrose @unbeatablecurlgirl @obsidianlaszlo @alindeluce @zemosimp05 @baronesszemo-blackwood @nocapesdahling
Let me know if you want to get tagged to my publications too <3
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enderspawn · 3 years
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It's alright if u don't wanna answer this cuz this argument gets people really riled up but do you think c!Techno is a tyrant or nah?
Cuz many c!techno apologists argue that he isn't just cuz he's an anarchist but I've also read a lot of essays that go against it and it'd be really interesting to see ur opinion on this
i think he, in some contexts, can most definitely be called tyrannical, yes. a tyrant? no.
to avoid spamming ppl w discourse we've all def heard before (and bc this ended up MASSIVE (like 2.3k ish), but fairly in depth bc i didnt wanna speak out of bad faith and wanted to be EXPLICTLY clear-- oops), the rest will be under readmore
so heres the thing i want to preface: i used to really LOVE c!techno. i joined beginning of s2, right when exile started, and he was arguably my favorite character. since then though i've fallen out with him a LOT, to the point i almost... actively despite him at times (though mainly in a toxic kind of way which i can acknowledge is flawed).
in short, his actions started to speak louder than his words and i lost investment in his personal character struggles because of the actions he took (doomsday was my breaking point. i get feeling angry and betrayed, as well as seeking revenge against lmanberg, but his actions went too far for me to CARE and it hurt so many more characters as well.)
so when i speak, i come from a place of disliking him but also somewhat understanding the position c!techno apologists come from: i used to be one of them myself.
NOW, do i think he's a tyrant? no. for reference in my analysis, i try to look up the definition of terms to make sure they are utilized properly. while "tyranny" and "tyrannical" can have multiple uses, tyrant itself is a more specific term. to combine the top two definitions, a tyrant is referring to "an extremely oppressive, unjust, or cruel absolute ruler (who governs without restrictions, especially one who seized power illegally.)"
techno's position as an anarchist, imo, DOES indeed make him unable to be a tyrant. tyrants are rulers with very clear power over others from a structural way. anarchists are about the lack of structure or power over others and instead viewing the people around you as equals in power.
in forming the syndicate, they very explicitly worked to not designate a leader and instead make it so that no one would have any power over the others systemically. techno may have taken a integral role, yes, but it doesn't make him suddenly "the leader", its a role that wouldve had to be filled by someone (even if it was democratic to decide who to invite, they'd need someone to hand over the invite itself yknow? like no matter WHAT there needed to be A ROLE)
one could argue that he IS a leader in the shadow hierarchy of the syndicate (which, yes, is a real and professional term used in management courses despite sounding like it comes from a 4kids yugioh dub) in that everyone CONSIDERS and looks to him a leader without him having any actual structural basis behind it, but to argue that allows him to be a tyrant is in bad faith i believe. especially because to the people he would be "ruling", he ISNT oppressive, unjust, or cruel. they are his friends and support network and critical for a lot of his personal development (since feelings of betrayal and trust issues are critical to his character and why he acts the way he does). I wish we were able to SEE this develop more, but oh well.
but like i said: tyrant is fairly specific in definition. TYRANNY, and thus TYRANNICAL are not as limited. I've discussed their definitions here. originally, i made that post because i was angry at a take i had seen that claimed that, like you said, because techno was an anarchist and not part of any government or leadership position, he couldn't be tyrannical. to which i heartily disagree.
for something to be tyrannical, they simply must have an overarching/oppressive power over someone or something. it would not be inaccurate if i were to say that something is "under the tyranny" of a concept, because what it means is that something is under the power of another thing/concept. you can frankly call anything tyranny if it is widespread/overarching and you don't like it. mask mandates? tyranny, its forcing me to act in "rigorous condition". hell, theres even such things as tyranny of the majority in which people agree too much on one thing and it gives them unfair power or tyranny of the minority where people with minority opinions have too much power (thats a very grossly oversimplified definition of both, but it covers the base idea well enough for my point)
the point im making above isnt meant to be taken as "anything can be worked to be defined as tyranny thus it is a meaningless claim", it is that tyranny (and again, thus tyrannical) are very open and nonrestrictive terms.
to make it easier to define, alongside the definitions provided i want to add an explicit clause that is (imo) implied in the original definition: tyranny is... well, bad. that is to say if someone has power over a group but literally everyone is fine with it and agrees to it, its not tyranny. thats just a group of people getting along and one happens to have power over another. a leader does NOT equal a tyrant (as discussed above), so leadership should not be equated with tyranny.
thus as an example: wilbur acting as president (before the election) may have been "unelected" with power over his citizens, but no one was upset with that power. thus, he is not a tyrant and not acting tyrannically (as well as the fact his power was, arguably, NOT rigourous or absolute but thats another topic for another time). SCHLATT however IS a tyrant, as his power was absolute (he did not consult his cabinet) and forced people to comply instead of them complying willingly, thus he was acting tyrannically.
now to finally get to the damn point of this essay: where does c!techno lie? honest answer? it depends slightly on your perspective, but it depends a LOT on the future of the syndicate.
techno is incredibly clear in his goals: no governments, no corruption. in fighting with pogtopia, he is actively working to topple a tyranny-- he isn't tyrannical for doing that.
when he strikes out on nov 16th, it is because he opposes them forming a new government. when they oppose him and disagree, he launches an attack against them. is this tyranny? maybe, but probably not. he IS trying to impose his own physical strength and power (as well as his resources) over the others to stop them from doing what HE doesn't want them to do.
however its more nuanced than that:
1. hes lashing out emotionally as well as politically. he feels betrayed by those he trusted and he believed that they would destroy the government then go (i'm ignoring any debates on if he did or did not know that they planned another government, though it is a source of debate). but typically idk about you but i dont call tyranny for someone fighting with another person.
2. he also may be acting with good intent again, in HIS EYES. if tubbo was part of manburg, whos to say he wont be just as bad? he, in his pov, is likely trying to stop another tyrant before they rise.
3. and finally, and tbh the most damning from any perspective: he gives up. he quickly leaves then RETIRES without intent to try and attack again until he is later provoked. tyranny is defined by it not just being power, but power being USED. if he doesn't use his power to try and impose any will, then he's not tyrannical.
Doomsday I am also not going to touch very in depth on for much of the same reasons. My answer is again a "maybe", depending on the weight you personally place on each issue:
1. he's lashing out as revenge for the butcher army and as revenge against tommy for "betraying" him (though this one we explicitly know he was ignoring the fact tommy did not want to go through with it, however he still did trust and respect tommy regardless so his feelings are understandable anyway)
2. he sees new lmanberg as corrupt and tyrannical (which is undeniable: house arrest for noncompliance, exile without counsel, execution without trial, etc), and thus obligated to destroy it
but also, theres the implicit understanding he's doing this to send a message: do not form a government, or else. its a display of force that also works to warn others unless they want a similar fate. phil even explicitly states that he is doing so to send that message, so one could assume techno is doing the same alongside his personal reasoning listed above.
what i just described is the use of a oppressive and harsh (physical) power in order to gain compliance from people (that compliance being 'not making a government'). does that sound familiar? exactly. it follows the definition(s) of tyranny given previously. technoblade is acting in a way that is, by very definition, tyrannical.
so the debate shifts: is he valid in doing so because he is trying to PREVENT corruption and tyranny. like i said, new lmanberg was undeniably corrupt at points. i held nothing against techno for trying to topple manburg, so does that apply to new lmanberg as well? short answer: i dont know. it depends on your specific opinion of what is acceptable. its like the paradox of tolerance: to have a truly tolerant society, you have to be intolerant of intolerance. to have a truly non-tyrannical society, do you need to have a tyranny enforcing it?
personally (and bc im a lmanberg loyalist /hj) i say it is. regardless of the corruption of new lmanberg, they are also giving a threat to EVERYONE. even those who are innocent, they are presented with the exact same threat and rule set: if you make a government, you will be destroyed.
(which, small divergence here, is part of why debating c!techno is so frustrating. so many times you end up hitting a "well it depends on your political views" situation and there ISNT a correct answer there. im here to analyze characters for fun, not debate political theory)
so: the syndicate then. this is where this debate really "took off" and i think its due to one very specific miscommunication about its goals and plans. the syndicate, upon formation, declares itself to stand against corruption and tyranny. when they are found, the syndicate would work to destroy it. so heres the golden question: what do THEY define as corruption and tyranny? if you were to go off c!techno's previous statements, seemingly "any government" is a valid answer. however, he also states he's fine with people just being in groups together hanging together.
what then DEFINES A GOVERNMENT for them? what lines do they have to sort out what does "deserve to be destroyed" and what does "deserve to exist freely"
this is a hypothetical i like to post when it comes to syndicate discourse:
i have a group of people. lets say 5 or so for example. they all live together and build together. any decisions made that would impact the entire group they make together and they must have a unanimous agreement in order to proceed, but otherwise they are free to be their own people and do their own thing. when you ask them, they tell you they are their own nation and they have a very clearly defined government: they are a direct democracy. does the syndicate have an obligation to attack?
there is absolutely no hierarchy present. there is no corruption present. but, they ARE indeed a government. is that then inherently negative? my answer is fuck no (see the whole "difference between a tyrant and a leader" thing above).
but THATS where the issue of this discourse LIES. in some people's eyes, the answer to that is YES. techno's made it clear "no government" is his personal view, but does that spread to the syndicate as a whole? do they act preemptively in case it DOES become corrupt? is it inherently corrupt because its a government, regardless of how it is ruled? the fact of the matter is because of how little we've seen the syndicate work as a SYNDICATE, we don't know that answer. so we're left to debate and speculate HOW they would act.
if the syndicate were to let that government exist, then they are not tyrannical. they are showing that they are working to stop tyranny and corruption, just like in pogtopia again.
if the syndicate were to destroy/attack that government, then they are tyrannical. simple as that. they are enforcing a rule of their own creation without any nuance or flexibility under the threat of absolute destruction.
miscommunication in debates comes, in my opinion, in the above. of course theres more points of nuance. for example:
would the syndicate allow a government like i had described with early lmanberg, where there is an established hierarchy but everyone in the country consents to said leadership? on one hand, there is no tyranny or corruption present which is what they are trying to work against. on the other hand, theres more a possibility of it occuring. perhaps they'd find a middle road between the two binary options of "leave or destroy" i am presenting, such as checking in occasionally to ensure no corruption occurs.
but if they were to destroy it without, for lack of a better word, "giving it a chance" they would be, in my opinion, tyrannical. they would be going aginst their words of opposing corruption and instead abusing their power to gain compliance.
your/others opinions may differ, again it depends on if you see it as worth it to possibly stop future tyranny or if a hierarchy is INHERENTLY a negative thing.
part of the reason so many blog gave up this debate, beyond not getting very clear answers for the syndicate, is because of the nuance present. there. is. no. right. answer. every single person will view it differently, because there is no universally agreed upon truth of right or wrong here. BUT, i hope this helps shed some light on the discussion and my thoughts on it
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alyasgf · 3 years
Text
Adrien’s Admirer- Adrinette April Day 6 -Anime!
Summary- Adrien Agreste has a secret admirer and its none other than Marinette Dupain Cheng.
Word Count
1650
Excerpt
Realizing how insane it’d look to carry all of these presents to Adrien at once and that all of them being from her might be weird, an idea struck.
“What if I hid them around for him to find from a secret admirer!” Marinette proposed excitedly. “It’d be perfect! I’d be able to see his adorable reactions without feeling embarrassed!”
AO3
The pedestal Marinette had put Adrien on in her younger years had been far too high. It seemed the more time she spent with him the dorkier and more human he became. First it had been the puns, then his concerningly large ladybug merchandise collection that he was extremely fond of, and now he’s a huge anime fan.
Marinette hadn’t meant to find his anime dvd collection. He had asked her to choose a movie while he grabbed snacks since they finished studying early enough that Nathalie had yet to come to kick her out. She had already gone through a few shelves when she found one that seemed to be hidden in a corner. As she looked closer she noticed the entire shelf was filled with volumes of anime, and the shelf beside it manga.
She couldn’t imagine why it was hidden. Was he ashamed? Adrien had been sheltered most his life and the way he acted, well Marinette was surprised she hadn’t realized sooner. Half his lines felt as though they were picked straight from an anime.
As she heard him approach the door she chose a random horror movie and went to sit down. This gave her a perfect idea.
As Adrien went to a closet collected blankets to sit on, Marinette began brainstorming for the perfect birthday present to incorporate her latest discovery.
————————————————————
By the time September 3 rolled around Marinette was slightly worried she’d gone too far this time. At first, she decided to just design a sweater with a few of the animes she remembered seeing in his collection. But she saw the cutest My Hero Academia beanie while at the shops and just had to remake it. Then came socks, pjs, and a ladybug mug she she happened to pass by.
But any friend would go out of their way to cater to a friends interests right?
“Absolutely not, Marinette.”
“Well thanks Alya.” Marinette huffed while packaging all of the gifts in her room the night before.
“Girl, I think its about time you told him! Its been years and not just anyone spends upwards of 40 hours working on gifts for a ‘friends’ niche interest.” Alya cooed at her from atop of her bed.
“Are you crazy? I just gained enough confidence to be his friend, confessing my love to him is a whole other level I can’t even begin to be ready for!” Realizing how insane it’d look to carry all of these presents to Adrien at once and that all of them being from her might be weird, an idea struck.
“What if I hid them around for him to find from a secret admirer!” Marinette proposed excitedly. “It’d be perfect! I’d be able to see his adorable reactions without feeling embarrassed!”
Alya sighed. “I guess it’s better than you panicking and never giving them to him.” She replied dejectedly.
“Thats the spirit.” Marinette said, taping the last perfectly wrapped gift and joining her friend on the bed. “Now since you’re here you’re obligated to help me plan this.”
“I’m not the one with his schedule memorized.” Alya complained, groaning. “What help am I?”
“Moral support!”
———————————————————
Adrien woke up the next morning to his usual. A lonely breakfast and a report of his schedule from Nathalie. He almost could have been fooled into thinking it was any other day.
“Your father sends his wishes Adrien.” Nathalie said as she walked out of the room.
One thing he could be excited by was school. There there’d hugs and birthday wishes and maybe even a sweet snack from a certain blue eyed girl.
————————
As expected, as he steeped out of the sleek black car (after receiving a small Ladybug action figure from the gorilla) he was practically toppled by Nino.
“Happy birthday bro!” He exclaimed, hugging him tightly.
Adrien smiled fondly at the boy. “Thanks Nino.” He said with a chuckle.
“Hopefully your old man will let me come over after school and I can give you your present then?.” Nino questioned hopeful.
“Sorry, I have fencing after school.” Adrien sighed.
“Can’t you just skip? It is your birthday after all.” Nino whined.
“You know how he is. The world could be ending but as long as I’m on time for my appointments he won’t care.” Adrien replied, walking along with Nino towards the front of the school.
As he approached he saw Alya and Marinette camping out by the entrance.
Once they were in hearing distance Adrien said, “Good news is he allowed me to spend lunch outside the house! I figured we could all spend it at the park.”
Marinette squealed excitedly as she ran to hug him, nearly squishing the pastry box she held in the process.
“What she means by that is happy birthday.” Alya laughed while she waited her turn to hug him.
“Happy birthday Adrien!” Marinette said with a slight blush as she handed him the box.
Inside was what looked to be 5 handmade passion fruit macarons, same as she had given him for the last 2 years. It still managed to warm his heart.
“Thanks guys.” He said hugging Alya and mouthing a thank you to Marinette. “If you have anything for me wait until lunch so it can almost be a real party?”
Everyone nodded in response. “Just us?” Nino asked.
“Preferably.” Adrien said sheepishly.
They all walked together to the lockers, chatting comfortably. Marinette seems a little anxious, for what reason Adrien couldn’t say.
He opened his locker and a small black box tumbled out. He caught it and looked at Nino questioningly.
“Wasn’t me.” He said shrugging. “Looks like a note fell out though.” He picked it up from the floor and handed it to Adrien.
“Happy birthday! Thank you for being a ray of sunshine for everyone.” Adrien read aloud smiling fondly. “It’s not signed?”
“Someone as a secret admirer.” Nino teased. “Now hurry up and open it I’m intrigued!”
“Okay okay.” Adrien said, his smile growing as he saw the contents. Inside was a sweater decorated with a Parasyte theme.
“I didn’t know you liked anime.” Nino said curiously.
“Eh never came up.” Adrien replied. He pulled the jacket over his head and looked down at it. Looking at it now he made a discovery. The jacket looked custom, and he only knew one person capable of such a feat.
“Nino I think Marinette made this!” Adrien exclaimed in a hushed tone. “Why wouldn’t she sign?”
“Maybe she wanted it to be anonymous?” Nino closed his locker and started heading to class.
“Should I tell her I know?” Adrien asked, following close behind.
“Nah she clearly wanted it to be secret, just keep it that way.”
—————-
Marinette was still giddy from that morning. The way Adriens eyes lit up when she handed him the pastry box was only matched by the smile that spread across his face when he pulled the present from his locker.
She decided to give the ladybug mug to him in person, figuring giving him an anime present may give away the identity of his secret admirer.
As she sat behind him in class she couldn’t help but sigh at how nicely the sweater fit him. She could definitely get used to seeing him in her designs.
Suddenly she felt a strong elbow in her side.
“Marinette!” Alya whispered aggressively. “Mademoiselle Bustier has called your name twice already!”
“Here!” Marinette blurted out immediately.
“Yes I’m aware you’re here Marinette. I asked if you could read the next section.”
She heard a small chuckle from Adrien and sheepishly decided to focus on how the jacket fit him another time.
—————————
Marinette had ran into a slight problem after lunch. She had already given Adrien his mug (he squealed in delight when he received it), left the beanie in his locker after lunch (he immediately shoved it on and hadn’t taken it off yet) and planned to hide the socks in his fencing bag after school, but she still had yet to give him the phs.
She ran over his schedule about a thousand times throughout the day and could think of no other opportunity that wouldn’t give away her identity as his secret admirer.
“Isn’t there any way you could leave it at his house?” Alya suggested.
“No his dad’s assistant might say something. I just don’t wanna risk it!” Marinette whined.
Then an idea struck.
“Actually Alya I just remembered something in his schedule that leaves a perfect time.” She fibbed.
——————
Adrien was on cloud nine. All of Marinette’s gifts were perfect. You could tell she put thought into them. She even left little notes with each one.
The beanie came with a note that said ‘Thank you for being the such an amazing friend’ and the socks he received during fencing came with a note that read ‘your smile brightens up my world.’ What a nice thing to say to a friend.
As he went up to his room after an extremely exciting day he opened his door to see a flash of red leave through his open window. He could recognize the sound of that string anywhere.
Ladybug had just been in his room!
He looked around to see if anything was different. On his bed he saw a perfectly wrapped gift. It was wrapped in lavender paper with a pink ribbon.
On top was a note. ‘My heart is forever yours’
Adrien’s heart stopped.
That’s Marinette’s handwriting. Marinette’s decorative paper. Marinette’s methodically wrapped gift.
Still in shock he opened it and it confirmed his suspicions. Inside were Death Note pjs.
Marinette had been anonymously giving him anime gifts all day.
Marinette was Ladybug. Ladybug was his secret admirer.
————————————
As they were leaping across building that evening Chat could tell Ladybug was in a good mood.
“Thanks for the gifts today, Marinette.” The blonde hero mentioned casually.
Ladybug effectively face planted into the ground.
Notes
A little late to the party but here nonetheless.
Also I didnt reread this before posting so if you see any mistakes,,, no you didnt :)
@adrinetteapril
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your--isgayrights · 3 years
Note
F, M, S :?
Hiiii stella i really liked your new fic just so you know okay hello :))
Gonna put my answers to these under the cut because they’re really long ^_^; thank you for sending me an ask for this but also dont feel obligated to read my long winded answers aslkfjfdsf
F: Share a snippet from one of your favorite dialogue scenes you’ve written and explain why you’re proud of it.
Hmmmm this question is kind of hard because even though I really see myself as someone who likes writing dialogue more than prose, lately most talking I write is like heavily interlaced with like these character actions that are supposed to be indicative of tone, you know? Also I have a lot of dialogue I like that isn’t technically attached to anything yet... uh...
Okay, I like these lines from A Dream in Which Yoo Jonghyuk Plays Mario Kart:
"Kim Dokja." Yoo Jonghyuk says.
"... You're gonna tell me to shut up, right?" Kim Dokja tries to guess from the vast experience he has of this man. "To not worry so much about useless things? To just be here in the moment..."
He trails off on the word moment. His eyes are suddenly far away, clouded with the memory of a destroyed Seoul skyline.
The hand on his shoulder tightens. Just enough to bring him back.
"Eh?" Kim Dokja's eyes refocus, blinking up at a Yoo Jonghyuk who is looking at him in the eye instead of over his shoulder. "Well?" He asks a man whose broad back is now far too sore in the mornings to carry the weight of the world. "Am I right?"
Yoo Jonghyuk does not answer any of the questions that Kim Dokja has posed with a 'yes,' a 'no,' or even a 'shut up.'
He does, however, give his husband a peck on the lips that lasts for just a moment shorter than a dream and conveys the exact same message.
When he pulls away from this kiss, he meets his husband's eyes once more and says five magical words.
"Watch me win Rainbow Road."
Um the thing I’m most proud of here is that I made Yoo Jonghyuk being a gamer anything approaching “romantic.” The “Watch me win Rainbow Road” line is basically the main thing holding this ficlet together as an actual piece of writing akdjfslfjsf. But like I said, a lot of the emotion in the words comes from the deviance from expectation set up around the dialogue rather than the dialogue itself, so I’m not sure if it counts? Fun anyway!
M: Got any premises on the back burner that you’d care to share?
Hmmm most of my premises I’ve been trying to adapt somehow into my current WIP, like I had this soosang idea that I thought about adapting as some sort of epilogue? It was like about HSY and YSA being childhood friends and the way that HSY wrote passages in her stories differently based on the way she viewed their relationship. But then like... hmm.
I guess Actual premises would include stuff like “AU where Kim Dokja is there when Yoo Jonghyuk regresses,” which I’m always daydreaming about just a little bit because 1. I kind of want to write YJH perspective on KDJ in the early rounds because I think its hilarious how he probably thinks very highly of him actually and thats SO diffferent from how KDJ views how things are happening, and then 2. VERY funny to have KDJ make the choices he makes confidently in timelines where he doesn’t realize YJH knows about him, or like 3. how KDJ would adapt to YJH knowing about him and whether he has back up plans for that.
My only hang up on that premise is that I’m not going to write it because A. It would take WAY too long for me to flesh out that premise in a way that I was happy with because I’m terrible like that and even slice of life relationship stories have to have like 40k long chapters for me to be happy with development. And then B. It’s definitely a premise that’s been used before, and even though I’m usually cool with doing bland premises with my own spin on them, I think that a lot of people already have like... set opinions on what they think this type of au would look like and mine differs a bit and I don’t want to argue with people on the internet, haha.
Anyway since I’m never going to write it, I can tell you that I think that the climax of my AU would probably be all of the KDJs of every timeline some how reviving YJH at the same time across their parallel timelines. It would show the perspectives of KDJs who were briefly mentioned in YJH’s building angst train, even ones where he was an enemy and in fact killed YJH himself, and other ones where he was a deeply trusted comrade, and we would think that the KDJs are doing some part of the scenario until they all do the same thing at once and it’s revealed what the item they were trying to obtain did. It exchanges his own life for that of YJH’s.
YJH in whatever regression he’s in has this moment of being completely saved, where all of these lifetimes where he died peacefully of old age by his companion’s sides come rushing into him, but even though he realizes Kim Dokja is the one responsible, he has no memory of him making it to the end. So he resolves to spend that last lifetime vowing not to die and to save Kim Dokja no matter what when previously he had given into the regressor depression of only trying to save himself.
Also not about fanfic but uh here’s some songs that I daydream orv amvs to sometimes: A Death - An Unkindness, I’m Gonna Win - Rob Cantor, Achilles Come Down - Gang of Youths, Squaring up - Sir Chloe.
S: Any fandom tropes you can’t resist?
Ahhh you know I think I’ve said this before that I really like slow burn and long complicated relationships like childhood friends to enemies to friends and or lovers you know, but I’ve been thinking about it recently and realize that I actually do use a lot of fandom-ey tropes! Like it was pointed out to me that my big WIP is very much based on an AU used in other fandoms, and I realize that I really like writing troupes used in fandom in a way that puts my own twist on it,  you know?
Like this is a bit embarassing, but I think the first fics I ever wrote were definitely from me seeing a specific kind of AU being overused in the fandom and wanting to write that AU from what I viewed as like... THE. RIGHT. WAY. to do it asdlkfjsfasfasf. Like the main emotion that actually gets me writing something down is spite alskfjf. Like sorry allos but I don’t understand why they would have kissed there so heres a 50k+ fic where they gaze longingly at each other for a much much longer time okay thanks.
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onyourzeus · 3 years
Text
• stress-free | kwp
ykcyj ➝ arskyh
title: stress-free pairing: kim wonpil (of day6) & you (she/her pronouns) genre: FLUFF, college!au words: 3.4k
author’s note: @pirimiritiddy​ requested a fic about wonpil, and here it is. it went on for longer than i previously planned, buuuuut. i hope it’s still okay aaaa 
(this is the 1st time i’ve written something for wonpil so if i get his personality wrong, i do apologize. i am also a baby myday huhu)
this dot fic (bullet style) is part of the falling asleep on the bus scenario that i intend to write for each day6 member. check out the others: dowoon (currently only 2/5 completed)
any requests? check my pinned post if i’m accepting any at the moment, thanks!
wonpil hates his schedule for this winter term 
who assigns a class that is only available at seven in the evening??
3 times a week
during THE WINTER
did he mention it’s a major lecture he’s required to take?? 
psychology of stress, more like
this class is giving him the kind of stress it is specifically warning its students about 
anyway, what can he say. he chose this major, there’s only 1 more term after this one and then finally: graduation
it’ll be fine, he’ll live
thank the heavens they didn’t need to attend the first two meetings, but some reading material was provided 
and was expected by the professor to have been read and reflected upon 
the class is really living up to its name because when wonpil opened the pdf 
it was 30 pages of tiny font sized sentences (for ants!) about the definition of stress and how it affects every part of the body yada yada yada
wonpil tried. he really tried 
that is to say he fell asleep on his desk while going over the same 20th page of the document 
if it weren’t for jae shaking him awake, he’d miss his first night class 
it would’ve been nice… if only the professor didn’t take attendance (something about being generous enough to make the first 2 classes “free,” so everyone has an obligation to come in for the remainder of the semester)
great, he’s stuck freezing his ass off just walking to the bus stop alone 
hopefully they turn the heater all the way up in the auditorium or else
the thousands spent in tuition would have literally been for nothing
overdramatic wonpil, can you blame him 
he thinks about reading the remaining 10 pages on the bus, even if he knows nothing of value will be absorbed
he wants to tries anyway, he does feel a little bit refreshed from that impromptu nap 
the bus has arrived, and it’s packed as usual; a lot of the students riding the shuttle are just yet to take off in the following stops
wonpil squeezes his way inside, 30 pages of stress psychology research gripped in both hands 
“excuse me, sorry,” wonpil mumbles, eyeing for a spot to sit to make him comfortable 
because once all the people standing up leave, it’s usually a race for the exit 
he’ll never understand college students
finally, he sees an empty seat way in the back. there was a girl on one end and two other students who seem to be ready to get off on the right side
wonpil doesn’t mind sitting next to someone, but once those 2 are gone he’ll just scoot over to give the girl on the left some privacy 
she seems very much in deep sleep anyway, wonpil wonders if her stop is coming or she’s riding to go to campus? 
wonpil doesn’t have time to think about other people, it causes him unnecessary stress
once sat down, his eyes focus on the last page he left off of 
the words register as gibberish in his brain, and with the bus moving so much it makes it even more difficult to follow along the paragraphs
wonpil takes in a deep breath, holds it in, and sighs very heavily 
his patience is usually the best out of his friends, but this class is turning more and more into the psychology of how to get you stressed tf out instead 
the bus nears its next stop, and the two people on his side stand up to leave, yes he can breathe normal air
however
hold on
his shoulder feels heavy 
turning his head slightly, for some reason once the bus had stopped its engine the girl’s head had flipped over to lean against wonpil’s shoulder instead 
oh no oh no oh no 
his shoulders suddenly freeze, as if blasted with a ray gun filled with ice 
it’s heavy and he can’t move, it’s numb and this girl’s hair is splayed all over his his sweater 
and she
she smells of coffee, and wonpil inhales it in
it’s not foul or anything, but it’s definitely exuding notes of espresso bean and freshly roasted coffee 
it makes wonpil feel a little more awake 
but he still can’t move his shoulders, and suddenly he’s panicking because the bus started moving again and even though capacity has lessened by 80%
someone decided to sit on the other end of the row he’s at
so if he even attempts to move, he’ll still be seated next to someone 
wonpil grumbles, lower lip jutting forward
something shifts
and he realizes he shook his shoulders a little bit with his frustration
“ah…” he exclaims inaudibly, panicking at the possibility that he had woken her up from her nap
wonpil tenses up, shoulders stiff and eyes peering at his side to see what she’s up to
she lifts her head just a few inches off of wonpil’s shoulder, and for a moment he’s relieved that maybe she realizes what’s going on
but wonpil only hears a soft yawn coming from her, and she returns to using his very rigid shoulder as her pillow during this bus ride
let’s just say that the next thirteen minutes was more stress-inducing than wonpil wanted it to be
right when the bus reaches the final stop (main campus), wonpil exerts any and all efforts he has to shake his shoulder, up and down, enough to elicit an awake response from this stranger 
the moment he feels her let up, wonpil dashes through that bus door like there’s no tomorrow
he is greeted with the coldest wind hitting his face, and his shoulder feeling numb from all the.. pillow roleplaying it did, if you will 
wonpil feels bad, borderline guilty for leaving her like that— what if she’s asleep until now?? he can almost hear soft snores from her end for a minute there, too, and it took so much of wonpil to resist chuckling at it while in panic mode simultaneously
suffice to say, he was not able to read the rest of the document
in wonpil’s defense, he had encountered it first hand — how stress overcomes one’s body and mind 
he forces himself to focus on what’s ahead, as boring as it sounds
he enters the lecture hall with a few minutes so spare, deciding to sit in the back
the projector screens are big and wonpil is not about to take his chances of getting called on today
luckily enough, he finds a row with visibly no other student sitting around the area 
shoulder feeling more alive, he comes back to his senses as well 
he takes off his outer sweater as it had become toastier inside. he still had a couple layers beneath his clothes
as the professor starts talking, wonpil finds himself yawning a few times
he doesn’t know if the video playing on screen is boring him or the girl in the bus affected his sleepiness
suddenly he remembers the smell of coffee, and how that’d sound real good right about now 
he slaps both of his cheeks lightly, trying to take him back in the zone of at least writing down important notes 
he’s on the fifth bullet point of his note-taking when the door behind him opens abruptly
it wasn’t loud or disrupting to the whole class, virtually no one even batted an eye
but thats because they’re far from the door
and wonpil is literally ten feet away, so when he feels the cold suddenly hit his back he had to know the source of the sudden hit in temperature
the class hadn’t been going on for less than an hour, and there have been students coming in on the other end of the auditorium
so wonpil isn’t that surprised that another student has just arrived 
he caught a glimpse of her hair, but that’s about it as wonpil goes back to his tedious notes 
until the very same person scoots herself in wonpil’s row
he huffs under his breath, the illusion of some privacy now shattered 
with a polite (semi-forced) smile, wonpil turns to the side to greet his classmate
again, wonpil becomes frozen in spot 
kind of like when you feel a magnetic pull somewhere, you follow it
and then suddenly you see it from afar, not believing your eyes if it’s actually real; if it’s actually there
in wonpil’s case, he’s one seat away from her
recognizing the flow of her hair, but more importantly
that distinct scent of coffee beans from her clothes 
this time, wonpil has a clear look on her face and he’s… speechless 
his polite smile has turned into a look of awe, eyes glued towards her 
she senses his gaze, turns to him and quickly bows down as a polite greeting 
“sorry, but has the class been going on for a while?” 
she speaks 
“oh, um, what— what?” 
“oh,” she looks confused, but rephrases her question, “what time did the class start? i had a hard time finding this lecture hall.” 
she’s talking to him, not just leaning her head on his shoulder
“seven” 
was all wonpil could say 
“it started at 7? cool, i’m not that late then!” she cheers, grinning shyly. wonpil watches the way she puts a strand of hair tucked beneath her ear. she’s pulling out her laptop from her bag when she notices a pair of wide eyes still on her person
“is… is this seat taken?” she asks, and wonpil hasn’t even taken in the fact that this is the same person from the bus 
“yes” 
tongue-tied wonpil strikes again, blinking back his own obliviousness to her question
“i mean— no, now it is, by you. you’re sitting there, um, i— feel free to sit wherever you want”
he’s scrambling for his words, flustered cheeks heating up amidst the warmth of the room
she just nods her head in understanding, and wonpil finally realizes he’s been staring at her direction for longer than he should have
“STRESS” 
the professor verbalized into her mic which causes wonpil to look to the front all of a sudden 
right, right. he’s at a lecture. what’s gotten him so fidgety and embarrassed and now all that he’s pretending to type on his google doc is
sdfjfjdfhshllsghgjghsh
just so he looks busy next to the girl who fell asleep on him on the bus
was there any point in preoccupying his mind with thoughts of her, and her head resting on him? no it’s stupid, wonpil knows this. 
people do it all the time, by accident, due to exhaustion, they don’t mean a thing by it
but wonpil is curious, and this is going to kill him. for sure
so he peeks at her again, and like a normal, decent student that she is (compared to wonpil at this point let’s be real) her hands are busy hand writing whatever the professor was saying
meanwhile, wonpil continues to sdfjskgnglddfjs his way to a passing B in this class
even in this large, spacious lecture hall he can still take in her scent
maybe it’s a new perfume that’s up and coming, that’s why it smells so strongly on her
oh! he can ask that? hey, do you mind sharing what line of perfume you’re using? it smells really good
it sounds like a common question, right? i mean if you wear strong fragrances you’re bound to be asked a question about it
he’s about to ask, he really was so ready to ask, what was he gonna lose? his dignity? 
over a simple, inquisitive question? 
“and now before we go on a twenty minute break, it’s time to introduce yourself to the person sitting close to you”
...
why do college professors have to do this? 
wonpil bites his lip, at this point in time he’s a senior who’s fed up with ice breakers like this. if it were any other person sitting next to him, in front of him, behind him— he would just go with his usual introduction
“hi i’m kim wonpil, studying psychology and i graduate in the spring. i’m taking this class for a major requirement” 
then go about his merry way.
but with her? she and him have history
sort of, and it’s the kind of history that is recent and wonpil is unsure if she is even aware of the weird string of fate-like connection they have 
or, wonpil, hear your consciousness out
it’s not a big deal, and in the scenario she doesn’t remember she fell asleep on the bus on another person
then you can just say hi like usual, and cut the string of fate there and then
(but does wonpil really want that?)
“hi”
oh crap she’s started it 
wonpil braces himself for whatever outcome this interaction comes out to. he’ll let her speak, and tailor his response from there
“i’m sorry, this might be really weird but that’s your sweater, right?” 
so she didn’t give her name, her major, anything substantial about herself but instead shoots wonpil a question
pointing at the sweater that’s draped on the seat in front of wonpil
wonpil doesn’t even check to look. he gulps, nods his head and squeaks, “yeah… why?” 
something in her eyes flash by, almost like a glint of recognition
she puts a hand on her mouth, and wonpil can make out the faintest shade of pink blushing its way to her ears
it’s kinda cute
“did someone happen to… fall asleep on you on the bus coming to campus today?” 
“... yes?” 
“that was me” she buries her face even further into her hands, almost lowering down to the chair 
wonpil thought she was gonna fall for some reason so he had to remedy the situation somewhat
“i.. i, um, did you have a good nap?” 
great comeback 
wonpil was so ready to leave the auditorium and never come back after the break
but he hears her giggle, and slowly come out of her shyness
and it’s a sweet sight, to finally see the way her cheeks look full of embarrassed laughter
as she twirls around a length of hair nervously
and taps the pen on the surface of her desk repeatedly 
it was endearing, and wonpil forgets about why he was panicking in the first place 
she then explains that she had work the whole day, and only had an hour to rest up before going to this 7pm class
wonpil listens intently, watching her mannerisms and the lilt in her voice when she continues to apologize for falling asleep on him without realizing it
“i’m not usually a deep sleeper, but work was exceptionally tiring today and i just needed at least a bit of shut eye” wonpil nods understandingly, almost worried about her health
“where do you work if you don’t mind me asking?” 
“at the coffee shop a few blocks away from campus,” she answers, head tilting to the side “i’m still wearing my uniform for it… is it too obvious?”
wonpil didn’t even realize her black long sleeves was a cafe uniform
but it did explain her strong coffee smell 
“something like that,” wonpil decided to say, curling his lips upward, feeling content and relieved at the turnout of events 
for the 20 minute break, wonpil thought they’d reconcile over what transpired between them and mind their own business soon enough— even if he thinks it’s hard to do that now knowing something about her
which intrigues wonpil 
and, quite frankly, he’d like to talk to her more
just so he has an excuse to watch her emotions paint her face beautifully
but there was a pause right after their short conversation 
and in real Awkward Wonpil Fashion, he shows her the 30 page reading material, in all of its flimsy glory and starts asking questions about it
“so uh did you read the whole thing? i thought it was interesting up until the part that i dozed off” 
and wonpil got his wish; he sees her eyes shine in surprise at his sudden attempt of an intellectual discussion
but she doesn’t deter him away
and actually, she’s read the whole damn thing. and wonpil was beyond amazed at the level of detail she explains to him about the parts he didn’t understand
he actually starts typing real notes while she was talking
this made her laugh in between her explanations, and wonpil didn’t understand what was so funny about
the fight or flight response
“it’s just. the way you’re typing this down so seriously, i’m sure the prof can explain it better”
wonpil shakes his head no, shakes it so much it hurt his temples
she laughs again, and he likes hearing that sound
“do you want to see what i’ve typed the past hour and a half of this class?’
“bet :p”
“actually nevermind” flashbacks of dsfkjsdjffdslkg ring true in wonpil’s mind as he quickly backspaces the nonsense in his notes
and the conversation continues from more psychology talks, to figuring out they’re in the same major but she’s a recent transfer student from last year 
and had been juggling work and school since the start of her senior year
wonpil wonders why he hasn’t seen her in the coffee shop yet
he would have done a double take the first time meeting her there for sure
“oh you’re too kind,” she suddenly replies??? 
wonpil had said his thoughts out loud 
without further embarrassing him, she says that she had only started working there since it’s more convenient for her; wonpil feels grateful she doesn’t dwell on the compliment any longer
alas, the break finishes and the droll of the professor’s voice reverberates throughout the room
this time, though, wonpil definitely feels more alert (awake enthusiastic) as the two of them exchange little comments about the class material
and before you know it, class is over and wonpil is an excited bunny. since they’re by the door they got to leave before everyone else
wonpil thinks it’s time to part ways… but this time they’re not fully strangers at all. they’re taking the same class, same major, they even know each other’s name. 
surely this isn’t the last time, right?
“hey, wonpil…” he didn’t even realize that they have started walking towards the bus stop together
“hm?”
“i think i owe you one,” she starts, stopping her tracks to face him. eyebrows up in hesitation, wonpil waits for her to finish
“you know, for taking over your personal space for my own comfort”
“oh that? haha that’s nothing :)” honestly if wonpil can do it again he’d volunteer in a heartbeat
“no, really. let me make it up to you. coffee? on me? i make a mean cappuccino” she winks 
it strikes through wonpil’s heart 
no need for resuscitation.. yet
“or a matcha latte? whatever you’d like it’ll be on me”
“anything!” wonpil exclaims, suddenly realizing the offer being given to him, the excitement bubbling up inside him again. “i mean, anything you’d like to have me try. surprise me,” he corrects himself
that manages to have her grin widely, eyes twinkling in excitement similar to wonpil’s and he thinks
they can get along
they can get to know each other better this way 
“would you be up to go for one now?” 
“oh— oh! now?” 
“yeah, that way none of us takes the risk of falling asleep back on the bus hehe” 
well, he really wouldn’t mind that happening a second time
“really now, wonpil?”
andddd he exposed himself again
it’s fine, she tugs his hand slightly to lead him to the bus that has arrived and wonpil follows in a daze
it’s a little full, so they have no other choice but to stand and hold onto the railings above
“guess no falling asleep here…” she teases, and now wonpil can’t use his hands to hide his blushing face
but the feeling of her just close by 
and the scent of coffee lingering in the air
in between them
just inches away from each other
it’ll do for now
25 notes · View notes
bladekindeyewear · 4 years
Text
HS^2 bloggin’ mainline 2020-08-23
More homestuuuuuck
I’m a little tired today so I don’t expect much intelligent analysis out of myself, but if anything classpecty happens I doubt I’ll be able to help myself regardless.
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oh, always
(EDITS: added note on horn colors, link to ask on potential Blood powers reference)
> CHAPTER 12. Really Convoluted Metaphorical Horseshit
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cuuute
In the bowels of a different ship, at a moment in time that is not pinpointable in either direction from the previous interaction, another Dave raps quietly to himself.
another dave raps quietly to himself.  i am glad that phrase exists it brings me joy
(LATER EDIT: A friend on Discord pointed out that throughout this entire update, Karkat's horns are #FF0000 red. They were normal candy-corn colors in previous glimpses at the ship crew, though they used a dark single-color shortcut typical of old Homestuck at one point... but THIS time it stays STARK red even when we zoom in close later. Is this just artistic liberty? Did Karkat color his horns for fashion? Does this happen to red-bloods like the Sufferer after a certain age? Just how much time has actually passed, here? We might have to wait for the commentary for this one.)
KARKAT: I WAS SAYING I THOUGHT WE MIGHT GO, I DUNNO, ANYWHERE ELSE ON THE ENTIRE SHIP WHILE THE CLOTHES WERE WASHING. KARKAT: SEEING AS THIS DECREPIT MACHINE WE WERE SO BLESSEDLY PROVIDED WITH MAKES A WHIRRING SOUND SO PANCHAFINGLY ARHYTHMIC THAT IT THREATENS TO ERADICATE THE ENTIRE CONCEPT OF TEMPO FROM THE UNIVERSE.
Karkat really has chilled out hasnt he?  like this is surprisingly level for him, and that fact is hilarious.
KARKAT: AND YET SOMEHOW BASICALLY ALL THAT HAS HAPPENED SINCE WE STARTED THE LOAD IS THAT YOU’VE BEEN USING IT AS A FUCKED UP BEAT TO WHISPER TO YOURSELF ABOUT FLOWERS TO.
oh gosh that’s why he’s rapping
> ==>
DAVE: kanaya was telling me this kids story the other day about this dude who didnt cherish a flower enough until it peaced out to do flower stuff idk its not pertinent to the story DAVE: except the flower was a person DAVE: because it was a metaphor
Oh right, coming back to the Little Prince stuff I was too lazy to metaphor-deep-dive into, and literally asking the same questions we were asking about who the Little Prince’s story applies to mapped here if anyone at all, like Dirk and such, or what biases were in the retelling of it and the way Kanaya phrased it.  So now we’re practically mocking it by deep diving it here, hence the last page’s “DAVE: i was just thinking through some really convoluted metaphorical horseshit”, which means we’re both about to further explore AND shit all over the existence of this story metaphor until it doesn’t mean anything and most of the meaning we drew from it earlier is made a joke~
well, not “we”, cause I was too lazy, so... y’all
DAVE: anyway what goes down in the story is that once the flower lady is out of the picture DAVE: the main character goes around making all these connections between her and everything else in the universe until every damn thing feels like a symbol for how much he fucked up and how much he will never see her again KARKAT: THIS SEEMS PRETTY FUCKING INTENSE FOR A KID'S STORY DAVE: yea thats pretty much what i said
Oh holy shit.  That’s yet another way to put it.  Are we doing a whole moral takedown of the Light aspect today?  cause it sounds like we’re taking a dump on the Light aspect and RoboRose getting too obsessed and immersed in it, which would be excellent
DAVE: but i guess its not so much what the story was technically textually about but more like the version of it kanaya internalized and then told me when we were talkin about how she misses rose
exactly
DAVE: so like now im taking the story she told me she was projecting her feelings onto and projecting my feelings on top of that
yes absolutely, you just rephrased it a different way with that exact same bias
DAVE: this is just one big game of emotional projection telephone so feel free to go paraphrase it to roxy later and make it about whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing
perfect. i need an emoji for that Italian thing for when you pinch your thumb and forefinger together and kiss it
ah this’ll do:
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its like the expression “choice” but in nonverbal form
[...] whatever fuckin thing youre currently missing KARKAT: YOUR ABILITY TO GET TO THE POINT DAVE: gotem DAVE: anyway you’re not gonna have to miss that skill of mine for long DAVE: get ready for this shit because i am about to slap you with the point so hard youll fall ass first into the washer DAVE: just scrambling around in there getting all sudsy DAVE: but your brain is gonna be so blasted from the mindfreak of a point im about to make that there wont be anything left to clean
Anytime dave is told to get to the point he is contractually obligated to spend at least 20 seconds talking about how he’ll get to the point in a way that is not getting to the point
DAVE: so its genuinely cool that kanaya can go around creating meaning that may or may not be actually present in every little thing DAVE: connecting every feeling she has to the idea of her wife existing out there DAVE: so i told her she should keep that shit up DAVE: but im having the opposite issue where im struggling to find anything to be that kind of tether because every single thing i could possibly consider about what it is were doing just reminds me of yet another thing to be afraid about
Great examples of Light being good and bad!  Attaching strands of connective meaning to everything.  --though, in Dave’s case AND Kanaya’s case you could argue it’s both bad in terms of effects.  That it’s great for Kanaya to care, but that she should be able to divest herself and live on her own terms without idealizing Rose literally everywhere she looks, personal growth which would be useful in helping bring Rose back to her in the first place.  The struggle they’re looking forward to is largely philosophical, not just physical, and until Rosebot acknowledges that she was wrong it’s not over.
DAVE: everything fuckin sucks huge cosmic donkey sack and im terrified KARKAT: OK, SO I FEEL LIKE YOU SKIPPED A COUPLE NECESSARY STEPS IN YOUR POINT CLARIFICATION PROCESS.
Pretty sure Dave was on the same page as most Epilogue and start-of-HS2 readers.  This situation is pretty bleak to dump our heroes into, no matter how much we believe will be resolved in the long run.
DAVE: ok but were you going with sweet or savory please give me that much at least KARKAT: YEAH IT WAS GOING TO BE SUNDAE-BASED. DAVE: nice KARKAT: YEAH. KARKAT: DO YOU WANNA WATCH MORE GBBO AFTER THIS? DAVE: absolutely
--ah, Great British Bake-Off, can’t say I’ve indulged
do they still have that?? did they save it from old Earth?  or did they go where unflooded Britain used to be and say hey, new show reboot
KARKAT: GREAT. ANYWAY, LIKE I WAS SAYING, FOR THE LOVE OF SWEET HUMAN CHRIST, PLEASE BACK UP TO WHATEVER THE FUCK YOU’RE ACTUALLY SCARED OF. KARKAT: ALSO COME HERE, IDIOT.
That last line is like, exactly as fucking sweet and awesome as we imagined their relationship to be.  :)
> ==>
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OH MY GOD THAT’S ADORABLE
DAVE: ok yeah this is a better position to unleash all my inner fears n anxieties from
indisputably.
DAVE: those times its like my mouth was saying words about the situation wherein our friends are AWOL and maybe dead but my brain wasnt fully letting me experience the emotion that goes along with them DAVE: man its like i cant even start genuinely thinking about how afraid i actually am for rose and john without my brain flippin its wad and whiting out DAVE: like haha fuck i hope theyre ok DAVE: now i better make a fuckin joke before i succumb to the gaping mouth of despair waiting for me to fall in it as soon as i look down and acknowledge that its there ogling how juicy my ass looks as it trembles with terror
I really hope that the writers of HS2 know full well that this feeling? the one Dave is describing here? is what many of us who got way overinvested in the well-being of Homestuck’s surviving characters felt reading the Epilogues and Homestuck^2.  So I really hope they’re working through it in a way that will result in a preponderance of GOOD THINGS happening and hope-filled situations.  Cause that “can’t even think about X” feeling is too familiar, and if they understand it as well as it LOOKS like they’re getting to, I’d really like them to give us a helping hand healing.
I think that’s what they’re going for?  Seems hopeful for me to think so, but they HAVE been doing better as HS2 has been going forward, from an emotional standpoint anyway; definitely better than the Epilogues.  And I’ve worked through some of that stuff with the help of that, because it’s MUCH easier nowadays to think about Homestuck without my gut clenching.
DAVE: i guess im just fucked up about how to worry about dirk and be angry at him at the same time DAVE: because if i get as unholy pissed at him as i sometimes wanna be i also gotta admit to myself that maybe i coulda done something different there
Mhmm, Karkat’s potentially a pretty good person to speak with here since he’s done so much work trying not to feel responsible for everything that’s ever gone wrong.
DAVE: also like DAVE: and this by the way adds a whole other layer of guilt on there that i dont really know how to fuckin reckon with but DAVE: even with all the shit hes pulled and the fact that we are more or less heading toward having to take him down DAVE: whatever that is gonna mean and whether or not he planned it like that DAVE: i just DAVE: me and him had come so far with each other and it was really cool for a while to have him and i DAVE: ugh DAVE: i dont WANT to hate him
Yeah, Dirk and Jane’s heel-turns were really shitty for anyone who was a fan of them in the fanbase, as well.
KARKAT: WELL THEN QUIT FUCKING PICKING AT THE SEAM ON MY SHORTS AND SPIT IT OUT. THEY'RE BARELY HANGING ON TO THE DEFINITION OF "SHORTS" AS IT IS.
That is an adorably real boyfriend-laying-in-boyfriend’s-lap thing to do
DAVE: the part i mentioned before about how we really have no goddamn clue how long this trip is even gonna take DAVE: i cant help but feel like its barely getting revved up DAVE: and for me and roxy and jade and callie and kan thats normal shit at best and boring at worst but we all have our immortality to thank for that DAVE: we can just dick around in space for near-eternity waiting to catch up to our friends who may or may not be our enemies now and itll be fine DAVE: i mean no itll be categorically miserable DAVE: but well survive it KARKAT: HOLD THE FUCK ON. DAVE: but you KARKAT: DAVE. DAVE: no lemme say this
Oh god damnit.  Karkat’s limited lifespan.  As if we hadn’t ALREADY covered a nauseatingly extensive gamut of disheartening topics of conversation.  We really have to confront every shred of misery in their past, present and future one after the other after the other in the Epilogues and HS2, don’t we?  >:(
I guess it had to be discussed, though.
DAVE: we dont talk about it much and i got shit to say about it DAVE: its not like i never thought about how youre mortal before but i just thought wed be able to figure it out before it mattered DAVE: come up with some kind of plan DAVE: i was just distracted being happy with you i fucking guess and so i didnt think up a way to fix it DAVE: and now thanks to dirk we have to work it out right the fuck now DAVE: because i cant spend this trip just sitting around watching you get old and die
Jesus.  I mean, WE know(?) that it’s not gonna be THAT many years, but THEY don’t know that.
Unless it really IS going to be that many years and HS2 is going to shamelessly take a fucking sledgehammer to our feelings for no goddamn good reason.  Which it won’t!  Right???  >:T
> ==>
Dishwasher ding
> Dave: Grapple with the clean, soggy consequences of the passage of time.
Hey, don’t make it a metaphor here. --though, fuck.  I suppose we are dealing with everyones dirty laundry.  God damnit.  SURE, deal with it all story but then GET IT OUT OF THE WAY AND PUT SOME SERIOUS FUN AND LAUGHS IN HERE so we don’t feel like we’re wading through an entire garbage dump!!!  *click*
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Karkat’s eyebrows-only mouthless frown is really cute.
> ==>
okay Karkat explain the nope you’re lodging
> ==>
*put*
> ==>
*foot*
> ==>
DAVE: ok go on
I mean I at least appreciate the time investment in adorable boyfriends.  That’s definitely something of SOME good value they’re giving us in exchange for this misery
> ==>
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That Karkat image makes me wanna do that red-shaky-gif-thing with it
KARKAT: IT'S NOT LIKE I'M NEW TO THE PARTICULAR MOOBEAST WRANGLING EVENT OF SOMEONE I PREVIOUSLY LOVED BRUTALLY TURNING ON ME AND LEAVING ME TO TRY AND CRAM MY FEELINGS ABOUT THE SITUATION BACK TOGETHER ALL ON MY OWN.
True
KARKAT: HE DID THAT ON HIS OWN. AND WE MADE THE CHOICE TO GO AFTER HIM ON OUR OWN.
Yes, and you’ll possibly convince him more of that over time, though not in this short conversation
KARKAT: I WAS FOLLOWING YOUR LITTLE TRAIL OF COOKIE CRUMB FEARS UNTIL IT LEAD TO THE BIG SNACK FINALE OF WORRY ABOUT MY FRAGILE MORTAL MEATSACK. KARKAT: IF I HAVE SOMEHOW NOT BEEN CLEAR ABOUT THIS WITH YOU YET, LET ME GO AHEAD AND RECTIFY THE SITUATION RIGHT THE FUCK NOW. KARKAT: HANGING OUT WITH YOU ON THIS LONG TRIP TO WHO THE SHITTING FUCK KNOWS WHERE IS QUITE LITERALLY THE HAPPIEST I HAVE EVER BEEN IN MY ENTIRE MEAGER EXISTENCE. KARKAT: I'M SO ABSOLUTELY BLISSED THE FUCK OUT OF MY MIND TO BE ABLE TO LOOK AT YOUR STUPID IMMORTALLY SMOOTH HUMAN FACE SKIN EVERY DAY AND NOT HAVE A COMPLEX ABOUT IT.
D’AWWW
And with that darkly angry expression too, that’s PERFECT
I mean it’s true.  What exactly would they be doing DIFFERENTLY on Earth C other than enjoying each other like this?  It’s pretty fucking great.
...hm.  Isn’t this journey-not-the-destination stuff pretty Breathy?  Karkat’s proving more balanced by the moment.
KARKAT: AND I'LL BE STRAIGHT WITH YOU. IT'S NOT LIKE I HAVEN'T BEEN EXPERIENCING SOME COMPLICATED GUILT, MYSELF. KARKAT: THE FACT THAT I'M HAVING THE TIME OF MY LIFE JUST FUCKING CHILLAXING AND BEING IN LOVE IN SPACE IS A CLEARLY INCONGRUOUS WITH THE REASON I'M ACTUALLY HERE CHILLAXING TO BEGIN WITH, AND I'M NOT LETTING MYSELF FORGET THAT, EITHER.
Pff.  He feels guilty for ENJOYING IT so much.  <3
KARKAT: BUT I RESENT THE IMPLICATION THAT MY HAPPINESS IS REGISTERING FOR YOU AS YOU HAVING TO JUST "SIT AROUND AND WATCH ME GET OLD," BECAUSE I KNOW YOU KNOW IT'S MORE THAN THAT.
I’m glad Karkat knows that DAVE knows somewhere in him that it’s more than that, because yeah, if Karkat thought he DIDN’T know that at some level that’d be a reason to take MUCH MORE SERIOUS offense.
KARKAT: LIKE, JESUS, DAVE. YOU KNOW I'M AFRAID FOR YOU, TOO, RIGHT? KARKAT: OR DID YOU FORGET THE WHOLE HEROIC DEATH THING? KARKAT: I WORRY ABOUT LOSING YOU FAIRLY FUCKING REGULARLY.
Hah!!!  Point taken.  Karkat must view Dave as practically more fragile than HIM.
KARKAT: ONE: WE'VE BEEN THROUGH SO MUCH HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA THAT I REFUSE TO NOT ENJOY THIS SHIT WHEN I FINALLY FUCKING GET IT, NO MATTER HOW LONG IT MAY OR MAY NOT LAST. KARKAT: TWO: IT'S NOT LIKE WE'RE DOING NOTHING. WE’RE MOVING. WE’RE WORKING. WE’RE HEADED SPECIFICALLY TO A PLACE WHERE WE WILL UNDOUBTLEDLY ENDURE YET MORE FUCKING HELLACIOUS PANWARPING TRAUMA. KARKAT: AND THREE: WE'RE DOING THAT BECAUSE WE HAVE FRIENDS WHO WE CARE ABOUT THAT NEED US. THAT IS OUR FOCUS, HERE. NOT OUR FEAR. IT'S ABOUT THE PEOPLE WE HAVE TO SAVE. KARKAT: SO DON'T FUCKING WORRY ABOUT ME, DAVE. I'M FINE.
Okay, this is great and wholesome.  I am now retroactively GLAD that this topic got brought up.  :)
> ==>
Dave is still afraid. There is a part of him that will always be, he thinks. He has accepted this about himself. There is another feeling coursing through him too, though. It’s something he's felt before, though never quite so intensely. He looks up at Karkat and understands, viscerally, the simple power his words have. They pump through Dave’s own body, alive and warm and true.
He wonders if Karkat realizes it, or if he’s just, as always, saying what he feels as he feels it. Dave doesn’t attempt to dissect it further. There will be time for that later.
Every really loving moment like this is sort of undercut by the fact that it’s also, in some senses, part of alt!Calliope’s narration and, by extension, her fanfiction.
EDIT 2: There's also either a hint to potential Blood powers or even an explicit Blood power use here that I didn't recognize. I'm leaning towards it's-laying-the-groundwork-for-future-use-of-Blood-powers-but-isnt-magical-in-this-case.
> ==>
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Smooooch!
That was nice.  Still gonna wait on doing any commentary til next time or a Bonus update or two, cause I’m beat.  See y’all next time!
26 notes · View notes
dir-khummel · 4 years
Text
They Call Them Crushes || PARA
Who: Kurt & Harlan ( @joieharlan )
Where: Valentine Carnival & Harlan’s Dorm Room
When: February 14th, 2020
Notes/Triggers: NSFW. Kurt and Harlan have hit it off. Maybe too well...
Kurt leaned against a park bench near the kissing booth, tallying the number of people attempting to tongue the one in the booth. He has at three, less than he believed he would see, but humorous nonetheless. We would sometimes wander to enjoy the food and splendor elsewhere, but he always wandered back to the booth. When it seemed Harlan's turn was done, Kurt lifted his fingers to his mouth and whistled. He waved to get Harlan's attention, leaving his hand out. "You said later, right? Is this later enough, or do you want to wait a bit longer?"
Harlan had enjoyed his time in the booth but Kurt's presence since they had kissed hadn't gone unnoticed. With a whistle, he smiled a crooked smile to him. "I did, yeah. I think it might be. So is there some one around here I gotta beat off if i wanna say take you to a couple booth for some fun and then maybe head back to my room for a movie?" His hands shoved into his pockets. "No one should be alone tonight."
Kurt laughed, shaking his head and placing his hands coyly behind his back. "So far, the only obligation I have as an anonymous candygram at nine. But we have a few hours to kill till then, and afterwords I'm free." Kurt pocketed his phone where he was taking his tongue notes, standing up straight. "Show me around to some of the booths. I have always been terrible at the games."
Harlan smiled. "Well I get you home by 9 then." Offering his hand to the other as they walked along. "So tell me more about you, I got the bare minimum before and I know how you kiss, now I want to know about you."
Kurt slid his hand into Harlan's. It was nice for someone to hold his hand like this again. The grip was firm, but not tight. "Well, I'm studying film. I'm the president of the film club, actually, it takes up most of my time. Tonight was one of the rare nights I let myself have a break. Stroke of luck you were here." Kurt leaned in a little closer to Harlan as they walked. "What about you? I don't know much about you, either."
"Film huh? So what do you want to do for them? Direct? Produce?" Harlan smiling as Kurt leaned into him more. It was rather enjoyable to walk around with someone like this. "I'm here for social work mostly. I plan to take over my uncle's farm. He runs a program for special needs kids where they get to ride horses and pet farm animals. I want to do that one day."
"Directing. My plan is to do so well, I get an Oscar before 2030. It is a 'reach for the moon, land among the stars' kind of goals, but aiming high doesn't hurt." Kurt smiled wide at Harlan's goals, shaking his head. "That is just- It's heartwarming, hearing someone going into that sort of work. It is so amazing how something so simple can mean the world to someone else. You must have a big heart."
"Well I can't wait for that to happen and I get to say, I know him and I kissed him." Harlan smiling to Kurt. "Thank you kindly, I mean, I like to think I do." Stopping then a booth. "Would you like a teddy bear?" Pointing to the milk bottle throw they were standing in front of
"Oh, I can see it now! Your face would be on tabloid magazines everywhere!" Kurt waved his free hand dramatically, showing off the gravitas of Hollywood gossip reels with the flick of a wrist. He came back to reality when Harlan pointed to one of the games. "I would love one, if you could get it! I never win at these, I swear they are rigged."
"Yeah, I'll be the man that almost was the famous director's lover." Harlan doing the same motion with his hand. "Oh they're rigged but living where I'm from, you learn tricks about these things." Paying the man, Harlan had three baseballs to use. He used the first to gage the bottle then with the last two, hit down the milk bottles. "Ta'da" Turning to Kurt and handing him the purple bear
"...Well, you don't have to say almost. The night is young, and so are we." Kurt had no idea where some of these quips came from Harlan emanated a foreign type of casual confidence, and it was slowly rubbing off on Kurt. Kurt watched from the sidelines, watching as Harlan, to Kurt's utter shock, knocked the bottles down. He took the bear with a face of confusion. "I-I honestly can't believe you did that- I've never seen anyone win those! Thank you!" Kurt leaned onto onto of his tip-toes, giving Harlan a quick, but meaningful, kiss on the cheek, holding his new prized possession close to his chest. "I'll name him Harlan Jr."
"that is very true." Harlan replied. Who knew how the night would end after all? Seeing him in shock, he smiled at how he was reacting once he had the bear in his arms. "Well alright." Taking his hand once more to stroll again. "So you gotta meet someone at 9 huh, do you know whom it is?"
Kurt kept his new prize close to his chest as they walked along, retaking Harlan's and continuing down the path. "I don't! That is the weird thing. I wasn't even aware someone here felt that way about me... Well, except Dante, but we knew each other years ago, and he isn't so gushy as to get me something like this..." Kurt glanced at Harlan. "Do you know who it is?"
Harlan shook his head to him. "I dont know, I havent really heard much. Sorry but I think it will probably be someone sweet and kind. Since you seem to be both those things." Taking the moment to kiss his cheek with a grin on his lips. "So you and Dante...mind if I ask whats goin on there?"
Kurt nodded, sighing sadly. "They must be... God, I really hope it doesn't go badly. I am not sure what I am going to do at this point... Should I even go?" Kurt asked, just as Harlan's lips pecked his cheek. He stopped their walking, biting his lip a moment. "He and I... I don't know. We talked a lot, and decided that not putting a label on it was best. We don't hate each other, that is for sure." Kurt chuckled, rolling his eyes. "Look at me, lamenting about my problems. What about you? Any issues in the love department?"
"I think you should, you never know, could be the one you're crushing on as well" Harlan giving him a soft wink as he did. Listening closely, Harlan nodded along to what Kurt was saying, though he could see how that could end bad and backfire on them both. "No, not really. Haven't done much beyond going to classes, so I don't mind listenin darlin."
"That is the strange thing, I am not crushing on... anyone, really. I was fully expecting to be alone today." Kurt's grip on Harlan's hand tightened. Kurt nodded, looking across the festival again before returning his gaze back to Harlan. "So, if you don't mind me asking, what piqued your interest in me? You're charming and patient and gentle, so why pick me? I'm all loud and bossy."
"I was too.  I mean I was hoping I'd find someone to spend some time with." Stopping for a moment, Harlan grinned to him. This time, he closed the space as he kissed the other man. "Because you're loud and bossy but you're also kind and sweet and very fun to tease." Smirking as he stepped back and started to walk with him once more.
Kurt was about to retort, argue, maybe even been self-deprecating, but stopped short when Harlan's lips claimed his again. His cheeks turned a vibrant pink, hiding his face in the teddy bear when they started walking again. "Fun to tease- That's not fair, you know. I don't know how to tease you!"
"I think you do, just haven't seen it yet." Harlan being the gentleman he was, kissing the back of the other's hand. "I don't know much about you Kurt, but I do know that every one deserves to feel special and wanted. Thats all I'm trying to do." With that, he found another booth and stopped. "Ready to race?" stopping at the booth that had the you spray water into a hole to win.
Kurt smirked when the back of his hand was kissed. It felt like one of the cheesy romance novels he would read. "Well, you are doing an amazing job." Kurt looked to the booth they stopped at, his eyes lighting up a bit. "I remember this game! I would play it at the fair whenever it game around. Sure, of course I'll play!"
"Good to know. My ma will be happy to hear thar. " Harlan said. Seeing his excitement, he couldn't help but smile and be even a bit more excited then he had been. "Well then, let's go. I might even let you win" Teasing him a bit.
Kurt faked his offense. "Let me win? I'm going to smoke you!" Kurt teased, setting the teddy bear in a safe spot so it wouldn't be in the way. "I used to be good at this, I just need to remember the skills nine-year-old me had."
"We'll see, darlin" Harlan taking a seat by him. He wasn't really going to try too hard, just wanting to see how it went. Harlan wasn't one to be very competitive when it came down to it. He just liked having fun.
The two of them sat down to play the game, Kurt determined to win. His competitive nature was showing through in full force. the game commenced, Kurt's eyes on fire, focused on winning the silly carnival game.
Harlan tried but he was more focused on Kurt and seeing him have so much fun in what he did. Win or lose, this moment was on the top of all of his thoughts.
"Yes! See! HA!" The game had ended, and sure enough, Kurt was the victor. He brushed imaginary dust off his fingernails. "Still got it!" The man running the booth handed Kurt a new stuffed toy; a heart shaped plush with a smiling face on it. Kurt looked it over a moment and handed it to Harlan. "There. Now we both have special somethings." Kurt said, grabbing his teddy from it's safe space.
Harlan took the heart, making it beat against his chest. "I like it and I let you win." Standing, he winked and started to walk away, knowing and thinking that Kurt just might follow him. Harlan's hand hung free for this reason.
"No, no, you don't get to take this win from me!" Kurt followed behind, pointing a finger at him. "I won!  All me!" Kurt said, hugging his teddy to his chest as he continued to follow Harlan, taking his hand again. "So, where can I find you, after my meeting at nine?"
Harlan chuckled, glad to have Kurt's hand in his once more. "My dorm room, room ### in the Beiste dorm. I'll be there and waiting for you." Kissing his hand once more. "I won't take your win from you, even if its the truth."
Kurt nodded. "Okay.. Well, I'll be there to tell you how everything goes, I guess." Another kiss to his hand had his cheeks and floundering embarrassment back in the forefront. "Whatever, I know in my heart that I truly won."
Harlan nodded, looking at the time. "I'll see you there if it doesnt go in the way I think it just might." With a swift kiss to his lips, Harlan wandered and went back to his room to wait for Kurt. Though his mind wandered to if he'd actually come.
Kurt tried to chase after the kiss as Harlan backed away, but it seemed like this was their goodbye for now...
-:-
It was near nine forty-five when Kurt wandered his way towards Harlan's dorm. He felt so bad for Nikkolai. Kurt thought he let him down gently enough, but that look of sad defeat was heartbreaking. Still, he couldn't aimlessly wander around campus for long. If anything, making himself scarce may be the wise choice, to avoid Nikkolai. When he found the dorm, he knocked softly on the door.
Harlan was sitting around his room in his sweatpants and a tank top as he heard the knock. Opening the door, he was happily surprised to see Kurt there. Letting him in, Harlan shut the door behind him. "I"m guessing it didnt go so well?" His face twisted in concern for the other man
Kurt walked in, hands in his pockets. "It went fine. Actually, for the most part, it was very romantic, but..." Kurt sighed, turning to face Harlan. "It was Nikkolai. He played me a song at the fountain, he said he gets tongue-tied around me, and his note was so nice, but... He's my friend, I just didn't feel the same."
Harlan sighed, at least now he knew who it was and whom Nikkolai had planned to sing to. His face still twisted a bit, he shook his head a bit. "I'm sorry you had to do that. I know he's probably hurting and it sucks. I hope you don't lose him as a friend from this.." Offering Kurt a hug.
Kurt accepted the hug, hiding his face in Harlan's shoudler. "I hope so too... He seemed so sad as he walked away, I really hope he bounces back fast."
Harlan rubbed his back softly. "It might take time but I think he will. Most people do after all" Pulling back enough to look at him. "You want to cuddle and watche something together?"
"He is such a sweet guy. He'll find someone one day." Kurt pulled back with Harlan, nodding at his offer. "I'd like that, a lot." Kurt walked further into the room. "Have you picked out a movie yet? I've been on a 80s high school comedy binge lately."
Harlan held his hand, pulling the other boy into his lap as he smiled to him. "I was going to watch a romcom but I think I can let you choose." Offering him the remote to look through all the streaming services to find something to watch. His arsm wrapping Kurt's waist, chin on his shoulder.
Kurt let himself be pulled into Harlan's lap, eyes going wide at the sudden intimacy. Normally, Kurt would back off at this much intimacy so quick, but his lovelife was such a whirlwind, being pulled in every direction, and Harlan was such an anchor in that very moment- He let it happen. And it felt good. "I can think of a romcom that is also an 80s high school comedy." Kurt turned his head to look at Harlan with a smirk. "Have you ever seen Sixteen Candles?"
Harlan held him but not too tight as he wanted to make sure that if Kurt wanted to move, he could. "I have seen it, not the biggest fan but I don't mind. I'm more into 'Cant buy me love'  but I'll watch 16 candles for you. "
"Aww, I love Sixteen Candles..." Kurt sank deeper into Harlan's hold, the invasive thoughts melting away as he felt more of Harlan's body heat. "Maybe seeing it with me will change your mind," Kurt noted, as he found the movie, starting it up.
"Maybe it will" Harlan replied, kissing his cheek as they both turned to focus on the movie. It wasn't too bad but it still wasn't his thing. He spent more time just thinking about the boy in his lap and how he really enjoyed this. It had been so lonely since he came.
The more the movie went on, the more comfortable Kurt got. He leaned further into Harlan's hold, becoming more and more aware of the other man's touch. He placed a hand on Harlan's leg, the movie coming to it's climatic wedding scene. It was then Kurt turned to Harlan. "Has your opinion changed yet?"
Harlan shook his head. "Sorry darlin, it hasn't but it has made me want to kiss you again. " He whispered to him and kissed his cheek then over to his lips. It wasn't a long kiss, just enough to tease. "You are too much fun to kiss"
Kurt accepted the kiss, turning to he was no longer facing the television, now properly in Harlan's lap. "I have to admit, I'm having a good time." Kurt said, leaning in to initiate his own kiss, placing Harlan's hands on his hips.
Harlan smiled. "I'm glad." He kissed him back, holding his hips as they kissed. He pressed in a bit more, tightening his grip and asking for more in the kiss. Lips parting a bit, he smiled as he tugged Kurt's bottom lip.
Kurt gasped in surprise, placing his hands on Harlan's shoulders. Kurt hummed as the kiss continued, Kurt grinding down on Harlan's lap. he had never done anything like this before; he wouldn't get this heated with anyone so soon, but it felt so invigorating.
Harlan let out a soft noises as Kurt grind on him. It had been some time since he had had this much interaction but he didn't mind it. He had made out with his fair share of boys, small towns will do that to you. His hips pressing up to meet Kurt's as his hands moved to grip Kurt's ass.
"Ah!" Kurt exclaimed at the grabbing, breaking the kiss a moment. "Um...maybe not that far- Not that this isn't fun, but..." Kurt sighed, rolling his. Once again, he was running his mouth instead of enjoying the moment. "I-I have never done anything like, um... Today has been a day of firsts, if you get my meaning." His eyes went wide. "Not the virginity first, that happened, but... getting occupied on the first date type of first."
Harlan smiled, even laughed a bit. "I've never gone that far with a guy before, just kind of felt right in the moment." Nuzzling along his jaw some. "We can leave it here if you want, I'm not looking to pressure you."
Kurt cocked an eyebrow, nuzzling Harlan right back. "What, never? But you seemed so natural at it-" Kurt looked at him, sliding his hands down Harlan's chest. "You've never done anything with a guy before?"
"Made out, some handjobs but thats about it." Feeling his hands drift over his chest a bit. "We were both pan but didn't know about going to far and all. Just wanted to try some of the basics. I mean, I have done more with girls but thats about it with boys, darlin." Pressing a kiss to Kurt's jaw then.
The cogs in Kurt's head started turning. he had made it this far, and didn't implode, or even feel overly dirty. Just the normal, good kind of dirty. "Well... I'd hate to leave you without upping the ante, at least." His voice shook a bit as the words came out of his mouth, the the fire and determination in his eyes was unmistakable- He wanted to do this.
"What did you have in mind? And if I'm honest, I don't mind you staying tonight." Harlan thinking that maybe Kurt would take him up on the offer to stay the night. "Cuddles and all that, I'll even make us breakfast in the morning." Just offering more, though it seemed Kurt had another version of more in mind now.
Kurt sucked on his bottom lip a moment. He was so beyond nervous. "I was thinking more along the lines of..." Kurt's hand slowly slid down Harlan's chest, stopping at his beltline. "If I am not intruding, I was hoping to do better than your previous partners..."
Harlan licked his lips, lust lining his eyes. The idea of this angel doing more then those of the past, he couldnt help but like the idea. "Hmm sure, but you know, staying is still something that you can do after." Pulling him into a heated kiss as he moved Kurt's hand to let him feel how the boy had made his body react.
Kurt accepted the kiss, just as the credits from the movie started to play behind them. He gasped into the kiss when he felt just how aroused Harlan had become- All because of him. Kurt still had doubts about doing this, but he shoved them out, taking a bit of Hunter's advice from days before. This was natural, right?...  Kurt slowly stroked up and down through his sweatpants, the thin material leaving nothing to the imagination. "W-well, you certainly aren't lacking."
Harlan moaned in the kiss, moving back as Kurt palmed him a bit more. He was taking his life in his hands and damn it did it feel good to be touched like this by such a beautiful man. "Hmm oh yeah?" he whispered to him. "Well thank you, babe." The nickname was easily falling from his lips.
Kurt took this moment to lean to Harlan's neck, placing a soft kiss there, softer than anything he gave the whole nights. "Just... lay back, relax." Kurt said softly into Harlan's ear. He slowly slid down Harlan's body, his knees touching the ground, and with the expertise of some whole who clearly has done this more than once, slid Harlan's sweatpants down with him. His eyes went wide at what he saw. "Oh wow..."
Harlan felt a shiver run down his back, his eyes closing as he found himself shifting on the bed. His hips lifting in a way to help Kurt remove his sweats and smirking as he heard his reaction to seeing him undressed now. "You still think you can handle it, babe?" his fingers sliding through Kurt's hair and leaning down to kiss him before he relaxed once more.
The confident fire in his eyes enraged at the challenge; of course he could! Kurt, with a gentle hand, took hold of Harlan's member, stoking up and down once, using the kiss as a distraction from his movement. "What, you think I can't? Have faith in me, I'm sure I can handle you just fine.”
Harlan groaned and moaned as Kurt touched him as he did. Kissing him back, Harlan smirked. "We'll see darlin. I don't know how much you can take. Why don't you show me now? " Licking his lips, eyes lust blown with the idea of seeing all this.
Kurt smirked, lowering himself further down, keeping his eyes locked on Harlan. He stroked up and down a few more time, trying to gain a little more courage by biding his time. He had done this before, so he had no reason to think he would be bad at it. Still, those few bought seconds earned him the needed willpower to finally lean in, sliding his tongue in a long stripe up the underside of Harlan's cock.
Harlan watched him move lower, his eyes closing to just take the feeling of Kurt's hand on him. With the lick to his cock, Harlan bit his lip, a loud and low moan leaving his lips. "Oh babe, you going to show me what else you can do with that?" Fingers sliding in Kurt's hair once more.
Kurt glowed under the praising and filthy talk, his eyes practically beaming with pride. To say Kurt had a thing for being praised was an understatement. He responded, not with words, but with his tongue swiping a lap around the head of Harlan's cock, slowly, three times. Without pulling away, Kurt closed his lips around Harlan, bobbing his head up and down once, before pulling off with a mischievous smirk.
Harlan was wrapped up in the feeling of Kurt doing what he could to make him moan. He moaned softly and bit his lip and pressed his hips up a bit. He stilled them again, smiling as his heart rate picked up. "Hmm you are good at this. So good babe." Tugging his hair softly.
Kurt took the moaning and raising of his hips as a sign that Kurt was doing just fine. The butterflies in his stomach were gone by now, and hearing all the warm words coming from Harlan had him feel so much more confident about all of this. Kurt brought his mouth back around Harlan's member, starting a slow pace of sliding his head up and down. Harlan's size was not something to laugh at, Kurt closing his eyes to focus on keeping his gag reflex in check as he slid further and further down with each downward slide.
Harlan just played with Kurt's hair as the boy moved deeper on him. He could feel the heat around his member, making him moan. Sure, he had had this done before but he wouldn't lie, a boy doing it was something new and very good feeling to him. Tugging his hair softly, Harlan panted.
Kurt, in normal circumstances, would he stopping anyone from touching his hair, but this felt good; Kurt was actually having fun. He wanted to coax moan after moan out of Harlan, his tongue taking laps around his shaft, the entirety of his member sliding into his throat with ease. Kurt prided himself on his skill, but this was something entirely different. This felt wild, untamed, like a part of Kurt he had been holding back was unleashed, and Harlan's cock was the victim.
Harlan was a goner already and knew that. It had been some time since someone had done this to him and he wasn't going to last. He did his best though, wanting to give Kurt all he seemed to be looking for as well. Tugging at his locks more, Harlan moaned a little louder. "Gonna make me come, babe."
Kurt took Harlan's admission as a prompt to take his mouth off for a moment, breathing in a bit before smirking. "T-That's the goal." Kurt teased, going back to his previous task. A bubble of nervousness boiled up in Kurt's brain, something he hadn't thought about till this point; spit or swallow? Kurt from ten years ago would have never thought of swallowing, but the last thing he wanted was to walk home with a stain on him. And he just got this shirt! With a resigned affirmative, Kurt resorted to keeping his mouth locked onto Harlan till he was  finished... finishing.
Harlan laughed softly, though it was weak and breathy from all the pleasure that was building up in him. He bit his lip and his eyes rolled back into his head. He didnt think he could do much more and with one good long suck, he found himself coming. Harlan moaning the other boy's name and pressing him down to hopefully keep him there and have him take the load. Letting go as he got soft, Harlan slumped a bit and smirked. "Damn, thats what I was missing huh?"
Kurt had enough time to mentally prepare himself before Harlan came into his mouth. And with as much grace as he could muster, he swallowed it all. When he couldn't feel any more being released, Kurt popped his mouth off, slowly sliding his tongue up and down gently, to clean off anything left over. When he thought he did a good enough job, he smirked back at Harlan, swirling his finger over the head of his cock like he would the rim of a wine glass. "It's a little different, huh?"
Harlan pulled him up and into a kiss. He could taste himself on Kurt's lips. "Yeah, it was, very. But I think it has more to do with who was on their knees for me, darlin." Whispering against his lips, kissing him once more, his hand cradling the back of Kurt's head in the kiss.
Kurt accepted the kiss, arching himself into the touch as he slowly pulled Harlan's sweatpants back where they belong. "Mmm, and Lord knows how I love being on my knees," Kurt joked, rolling his eyes at the line and letting himself melt into the kiss again.
Harlan chuckled a bit. "Well I think I like you on my lap more or at least in a kiss. Now do you need help with anything? I can't promise I can do that, but i can help ya" Not feeling it was right to let Kurt suck him and not at least offer to help Kurt get off as well.
Kurt chuckled, leaning back from Harlan as the erotic air seemed to tone down. Kurt paused a moment, licking his lips and shaking his head. "No, I'm alright. We should um..." Kurt's cheeks turned a deep pink. He was aroused, this was the most action he's had in months. Yet, on his journey through many firsts, this was one he was not ready to jump over. "We should stop here, if that's okay?"
Harlan shrugged to him. "Alright, darlin. You know I said we'd do whatever you were comfortable with and so if this is it, then it is." Standing, he pulled him close. Harlan's hands on his ass. "So you going to stay over or do I need you let you go?"
“Thank you,” Kurt said, pecking Harlan’s lips again. He slid out of his lap, checking his outfit over and leaning back over Harlan. “I’ll go, this time. Just... keep me in mind. This was fun, and I don’t think I’d be against doing it again.”
Harlan nodded. "Look forward to seeing you again then." his hand in Kurt's he walked with him to the door. "Gentleman always see their guests out." Leaning against the door as he let Kurt walk past. A smirk on his lips. "See you soon." He called out as he shut the door.
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chiroyu · 5 years
Text
Losing Many
Chapter 1- Protecting Your Love
Aziraphale is in the bookshop reading his books as he normally does, crowley had left not too long ago to go home, and the night was fresh with rain. There upon the door comes a knock. “We’re closed.” aziraphale says loudly for the visitor to hear. But a few seconds later another knock is upon the door. “We’re closed.” aziraphale says again, and bit louder and more stern. But another knock echoes through the night.
Aziraphale huffs and sets his book down roughly, mentally apologizing to it as he gets up and matches to the door. He swings it open. “I said we’re closed, now please be as kind as to-” he stops. “O-oh my, I’m sorry! I didn’t know it was you!” He exclaims in worry. “Please come in, Gabriel.”
So aziraphale invites Gabriel in. They had been on… better terms since the switch he and crowley did. Gabriel was coming to terms that he could no longer control aziraphale and they were even seeing eye to eye on few things. Very few things, but some nonetheless. So they sit in the back, each with a cup of fresh brewed tea in their hands.
The conversation starts out civil. They exchange pleasantries and small talk before soon enough Gabriel clears his throat and sets his cup down, getting down to business. “Aziraphale, return with me to heaven” he says simply, causing aziraphale to nearly choke on his tea.
“W-what? Gabriel, I though we had come to terms on this! I would stay on earth and you would let me!” He says frantically, hoping beyond all hope that Gabriel hadn’t found out about the switch. And if he had, surely he told hell, which meant crowley might be facing a similar conversation that very moment. The thought filled home with dread.
“Yes, I remember.” Gabriel replied. “However, we have come to find out about some… well, interesting news.” Gabriel’s says simply. Aziraphale gulps.
“W-what news?” He asks, receiving a wave of Gabriel’s hand as he dismisses the question.
“None of your concern, I’m afraid. Though I will put, it would be in your best interest to return to heaven quietly and without fuss. ”
aziraphale gulps once more. Surely they didn’t know about the switch, they had planned so carefully. He would just have to take a chance he supposes “n-no.” He says determined. “I am not afraid of you anymore Gabriel, you can not treat me as you have in the past and expect me to sit here and take it! Now leave, I believe we ate quiet done here!” he says with a stern face as he sets his cup down with a loud jangle as he stands to stare down at Gabriel.
You could see Gabriel’s eyes widen and his blood vessels burst in anger as he stands abruptly, towering over aziraphale with a growl. “Do you not understand?! Hellfire Might not have worked on you, but we’ve done some research of our own, aziraphale. Don’t think for a second we haven’t found a way to rid us of you and your Boyfriend” he says angrily, saying the word boyfriend like it was poison on his tongue.
Aziraphale stumbles back in shock. What could they possibly have found? He worried for crowley, afraid that perhaps  hell was going after him as well.
“S-so?!” Aziraphale says loudly. Louder than Gabriel has ever heard him speak. “Just because you might have a way to kill us, you think we’ll back down and cower for you! W-we are sick of following orders! We would find a way to fight back!” Aziraphale yells, watching as Gabriel’s face darkens with more anger. He suddenly feels like hes gone too far as Gabriel stomps closer to him, towering over him menacingly with a smirk and a much too devilish face to be on an angel.
“Is that so, aziraphale? I guess well just have to see.” He says as he snaps a finger and a hefty blade appears in his hand. He holds it carefully. “Do you know what this is, aziraphale?” He asks, to which aziraphale shakes his head, fear and determination fighting in his eyes. “This is a holy blade. Now normally they dont work on angels, but with you being able to survive hell fire, you know, like a demon would, we thought, well, maybe it would work on you somehow. Care to find out?” Gabriel brings the knife to Aziraphale’s throat, placing it there gently as Aziraphale gulps.
Gabriel chuckles, pulling the sword back and up, ready to slash down on azirpahale.
And just as Aziraphale is about to retort with something witty, something he normally would not say, but something happens. They didnt hear when the door opens and footsteps walked toward them. Nor did they hear the demon whispering to himself on what he was going to say when he say his angel.
“Angel, i know  i said i was going home, but we’ve know each other 6000 years, we averted the apocalypse! i think its about time i stayed the night over-” The demon mumbles, pausing as he enters the back room, seeing the situation his angel was in, he instantly switches his demeanor from nervous to exceptionally angry. “YOU- GET AWAY FROM MY ANGEL!” He practically bellows, lurching forward to stand in front of his angel, his arms outstretched to protect his angel from the threat. He protected his angel with his own body, the sword coming down on him.
“AHHH-!” Crowley screams in agony, falling to his knees to clutch his bleeding arm. No, not arm, his arm wasn’t there. it was on the floor in front of him, blood pooling next to him. he chokes on his saliva as he suppresses his scream and his tears.
Gabriel chuckles, his smirk growing ever so on his lips as he glares down at the angel and demon before him. “Well, well, well, who do we have here? None other than the failure of an angel’s boyfriend.” he pointedly looks at Aziraphale as he says failure, wanting to bring him down as much as possible. “Honestly, this just saves me some time. Pity you losing your arm… though, it does give me an idea.” He says, snapping his fingers as his eyes darken with an evil idea. Not even a second later does a few angel grunts appear behind him. “Hold them down for me, would you?” He asks in fake kindness to the angel grunts.
The angel grunts oblige, surging forward to grab each of Crowley’s shoulders and his right arm to hold him back. They purposely bump his bleeding and raw wound, causing him to choke on a yell in his throat. Another two grunts go behind crowley to hold Aziraphale back from stopping them.
Crowley struggled in the grunt’s grip, trying to break free but was unable to. He was slowly losing his focus, his eye sight going blurry, then focused, then blurry again. He growled, glaring up at the grunts before switching his gaze to Gabriel. And grand, now Beelzebub was there to witness the show, smirking down at him like this was their plan all along. And perhaps it was. he groans quietly, looking down to watch the blood pool on the ground below him, entranced by it.
Aziraphale struggled as well, staring in horror at the scene. Normally he wouldn’t bat an eye, crowley would be bale to simply miracle his arm fixed. but that was a holy sword, demons don’t heal from wounds from holy objects! he sobbed, the demon grunts covering his mouth as he was unable to force himself free from their tight grips.
Gabriel and Beelzebub chuckled evilly down at them. They look all too pleased that their plan was coming along so easily.
“Would you look at that.” Beelzebub says, walking over and around crowley. “You are just so nosy, arent you crowley? You weren’t supposed to be here to witness Gabriel punishing your angel, but i guess this will just have to do.” They sigh, though a sick look in their eyes say they think this is much better than what they could have thought up.
Gabriel smirks, holding out the sword towards beelzebub. “Shall i give you the honors?” he  asks, to which Beelzebub just hisses and back away from the holy sword. Gabriel shrugs. “Alright then.” He says simply, stepping forward to stand in front of crowley. he looks over at aziraphale and smirks. “Make sure watch closely, Aziraphale, because this is what will happen to you if you continue to refuse.” he says as he brings the sword up again.
And Aziraphale tries to struggle more, wanting so badly to break free to save Crowley from more pain. But the grunts only gripped and held him back tighter, he could only sob as he watched the out of it crowley slowly look up to watch as the sword came down to cut off his other arm.
And the screams. God, the screams. They were gut wrenching. Crowley was screaming his lungs out, tears rolling down his cheeks. Aziraphale knew how much the demon hated to be seen crying, not even crying when his first arm was cut off showed that. He must be in such pain to be openly sobbing. He sobbed as well, wanting to rush forward and take the demon in his arms and heal him.
Gabriel chuckled, watching with an ugly smirk as he watched the demon sob and scream and writhe in pain below him. he tuts. “Now now, in not done! Disappointing that you have only two arms, maybe ill take a leg too?” he hums in thought before shrugging. “How about i close my eyes and aim randomly?” He suggest, smirking as he sees the horror in Aziraphale’s eyes. “Thats the plan then.” He chuckles, bringing the sword up again as he closes his eyes.
The grunts force Crowley’s back straight from his hunched position as the sword came down again, cutting a long line into his chest. This earned another loud scream from the demon. The cut sizzled slightly form contact with the holy sword.
Aziraphale felt more tears spring to his eyes as he tried to yell and jerk free, only get an arm out to reach towards his love for but a few seconds before its jerked back by the grunts. He sobs in agony as he watches his love suffer more pain than anyone should be forced to. He wanted to beg for Gabriel to stop, to stop hurting his love, to hurt him instead. but the hand over his mouth prevented him form even doing that.
Gabriel opens his eyes and sighs in disappointment. “Only your chest? I was hoping perhaps i’d cut off your head. Oh well, i’m sure you get the point, right, aziraphale?” he says, looking at the crying angel.
The hand over his mouth disappears and he sobs loudly. “You monster! H-how could you, what has he ever done to you?!”  he yells, struggling once more to break free from the grunts tight grips.
“Ah, ah, ah.” he chides. “Me, a monster? I’m just doing whats best, Aziraphale. besides…” he begins, an evil smirk on his face. “I wouldn’t have been allowed to do it if it wasn’t part of Her ineffable plan, right?”
The look on Aziraphale’s face could break someone’s heart. The mere thought that this could be part of Her ineffable plan made him sick to his stomach. How could anyone, even Her, have such a gruesome thing happen to someone who has been nothing but sweet and kind and caring! he sobbed again. “Shut up! S-she wouldnt-”
Gabriel cuts him off. “But how can you be sure?” he asks, before shaking his head. “Enough of that. You’ll be coming back to heaven with us now.”
Beelzebub huffs, finally walking back over as Gabriel miracles the sword from existence. They go over to crowley and pulls his head up by his hair with a smirk. “And he’ll be coming to hell with us.” they spat.
Aziraphale shook his head. “No!” he yells. “W-we aren’t going anywhere!”
Gabriel raises a brow. “Are you sure you should be saying such things, aziraphale? why, i could simply bring the sword back out and end his life here.” Beelzebub sends him a glare at that, they needed crowley alive after all.
Aziraphale sobs, looking like all options he once had are now all gone. If only he had just gone with him when he was first asked, then Crowley would be fine. But he was stubborn, he had wanted to continue to live on earth with his love. He felt something well up inside him in that moment as he thought of how even if they were to continue to live there on earth it would be so much more different. How hard it would be for Crowley, for the both of them to adjust. But he wanted to at least try! He didn’t want to give up and never have that future, even if it was bleak they’d find a way to be happy! That feeling grew inside him, he felt like he was floating. No, he was.
The grunts were trying to pull him back down, but they were unable as he floated out of their grips easily. His eyes glared at Gabriel, not his regular two, no, thousands of them. perhaps even millions. It was like he could see everything. Gabriel looked surprised, even terrified if that was possible. Beelzebub was cowering where he was standing, backing up slowly until he was quite a bit behind Gabriel.
“Wha-” before either of them could utter a single word, Aziraphale’s hand flew up and a bright light encased the room. When the light died down, everyone but him and crowley were gone. He floated back down to the ground. As soon as his feet touched the ground, whatever feeling that had welled up in his chest disappeared and he fell to his knees panting heavily. he looked up and the world spun, he groaned softly. he crawled his way over to Crowley who now lay on the floor in a jumbled mess. His hands and knees were getting soaked in blood and he sobbed, gently picking his demon up in his arms, “C-crowley, dear, p-please open your eyes.” he asked softly.
He got no response, sobbing again. “C-crowley, love, please.” again there was no response. He sobbed again, his hands flying to Crowley’s neck to check for a pulse. he felt nothing and sobbed more. He laid Crowley back down on the floor before gently placing his hands on his chest and doing compression. “L-love, please, please, wake up!” he begs before leaning down and blowing air into the demons mouth. He continued this and the compressions with no result. He sobbed. “Please!” he yells, doing a compression quite hard and hearing a crack. he worriedly back away with a sob. “I-im so sorry, dear, i didn’t mean-” of course there was no response and he stood quickly with another sob, rushing to his old phone and dialing 911 quickly. He needed trained medical professionals right now.
They pick up quickly, and he rattles off his address, the adrenaline from before leaving him as he collapses to his knees with the phone barley in his hands. the operator calls out to him, but he cant reply as he choke son his sobs, staring over at his love laying motionless on the floor. Time passe sin a blur after that, people bursting through the door of the book shop and rushing in. They start compressions on Crowley before switching to a defibrillator. Someone guides Aziraphale out of the bookshop, not without Aziraphale struggling of course, before leading him to another ambulance to take him to a hospital to make sure he was okay. As they are putting him on the gurney, Aziraphale sees them rushing an awake and confused crowley to the other ambulance.  He sobs in relief before letting his tiredness catch up to him, he passes out on the gurney while being driven to the hospital behind Crowley’s ambulance.
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urscottsdale · 6 years
Note
1-100 😌
1:when you have cereal, do you have more milk than cereal or more cereal than milk? i rarely eat cereal but i think i usually balance them pretty equally or try to lol
2:do you like the feeling of cold air on your cheeks on a wintery day? i love it as long as im all bundled up
3:what random objects do you use to bookmark your books? usually the closest piece of paper i can find
4:how do you take your coffee/tea? with lots of sugar 😏
5:are you self-conscious of your smile? very
6:do you keep plants? nope
7:do you name your plants? nada
8:what artistic medium do you use to express your feelings? writing and music
9:do you like singing/humming to yourself? sometimes
10:do you sleep on your back, side, or stomach? all of the above
11:what’s an inner joke you have with your friends? no friends, no jokes other than maybe im the quiet one
12:what’s your favorite planet? pluto
13:what’s something that made you smile today? my dog
14:if you were to live with your best friend in an old flat in a big city, what would it look like? my room: messy, theirs: clean
15:go google a weird space fact and tell us what it is! uranus is tilted on its side 😉
16:what’s your favorite pasta dish? spaghetti
17:what color do you really want to dye your hair? blue
18:tell us about something dumb/funny you did that has since gone down in history between you and your friends and is always brought up. idk tbh
19:do you keep a journal? what do you write/draw/ in it? i dont
20:what’s your favorite eye color? brown eyes 😍
21:talk about your favorite bag, the one that’s been to hell and back with you and that you love to pieces. who comes up with these questions? bc i dont have a favorite bag
22:are you a morning person? no i hate mornings
23:what’s your favorite thing to do on lazy days where you have 0 obligations? listen to music
24:is there someone out there you would trust with every single one of your secrets? theres a couple, one doesnt know it tho
25:what’s the weirdest place you’ve ever broken into? never broken into anywhere lol
26:what are the shoes you’ve had for forever and wear with every single outfit? vanz
27:what’s your favorite bubblegum flavor? mint
28:sunrise or sunset? sunset
29:what’s something really cute that one of your friends does and is totally endearing? randomly checking up on me and actually meaning it when they say they care
30:think of it: have you ever been truly scared? a handful of times yes
31:what is your opinion of socks? do you like wearing weird socks? do you sleep with socks? do you confine yourself to white sock hell? really, just talk about socks. love socks and wearing them, dont sleep in them and i have an assortment of colors bc white is boring
32:tell us a story of something that happened to you after 3AM when you were with friends. there was this time i went out drinking with my friend after graduation, these two guys were hitting on her after she called them gay (even bought us drinks), my friend is gay so that was interesting lol
33:what’s your fave pastry? doughnuts
34:tell us about the stuffed animal you kept as a kid. what is it called? what does it look like? do you still keep it? winnie the pooh and hell yes i still have it
35:do you like stationary and pretty pens and so on? do you use them often? love them but never use them
36:which band’s sound would fit your mood right now? backstreet boys
37:do you like keeping your room messy or clean? i like keeping it clean but it tends to stay messy lol
38:tell us about your pet peeves! i have too many pet peeves tbh
39:what color do you wear the most? blue and maroon (not together tho)
40:think of a piece of jewelry you own: what’s it’s story? does it have any meaning to you? cross necklace is self-explanatory, dog tag necklace i got from my parents so it holds a special meaning to me
41:what’s the last book you remember really, really loving? to kill a mockingbird
42:do you have a favorite coffee shop? describe it! starbucks…
43:who was the last person you gazed at the stars with? lol one of my friends back in like 5th grade
44:when was the last time you remember feeling completely serene and at peace with everything? summer and winter breaks in high school
45:do you trust your instincts a lot? yup
46:tell us the worst pun you can think of. sex while camping is fucking in tents ;)
47:what food do you think should be banned from the universe? most kinds of fish
48:what was your biggest fear as a kid? is it the same today? being alone, and yes actually
49:do you like buying CDs and records? what was the last one you bought? yes but i cant remember tbh. most i have were gifted to me.
50:what’s an odd thing you collect? keys
51:think of a person. what song do you associate with them? @thisvanessa - count on me by bruno mars
52:what are your favorite memes of the year so far? im pretty sure ive never seen a meme i didnt love so. the spongebob one is pretty good tho.
53:have you ever watched the rocky horror picture show? heathers? beetlejuice? pulp fiction? what do you think of them? i wish i could tell u
54:who’s the last person you saw with a true look of sadness on their face? my dog lol
55:what’s the most dramatic thing you’ve ever done to prove a point? idk im pretty passive aggressive so i do a lot lol
56:what are some things you find endearing in people? same as earlier, randomly checking up on me and also saying they miss me
57:go listen to bohemian rhapsody. how did it make you feel? did you dramatically reenact the lyrics? nope
58:who’s the wine mom and who’s the vodka aunt in your group of friends? why? my ex friend is the wine mom and idk maybe im the vodka aunt lol
59:what’s your favorite myth? the earth is flat
60:do you like poetry? what are some of your faves? yess langston hughes and edgar allan poe
61:what’s the stupidest gift you’ve ever given? the stupidest one you’ve ever received? cant think of any tbh, maybe the dancing chicken that used to be passed around for years in my family
62:do you drink juice in the morning? which kind? orange juice and cran-grape juice
63:are you fussy about your books and music? do you keep them meticulously organized or kinda leave them be? i just leave them be
64:what color is the sky where you are right now? gray
65:is there anyone you haven’t seen in a long time who you’d love to hang out with? yes
66:what would your ideal flower crown look like? idk not big on flower crowns
67:how do gloomy days where the sky is dark and the world is misty make you feel? i love them so much
68:what’s winter like where you live? hot with a random cold day here and there
69:what are your favorite board games? wahoo/marbles, sorry, candyland, pretty much all of them lol
70:have you ever used a ouija board? nope
71:what’s your favorite kind of tea? sweet tea
72:are you a person who needs to note everything down or else you’ll forget it? yes but im also too lazy to note things so i end up forgetting a lot
73:what are some of your worst habits? procrastination
74:describe a good friend of yours without using their name or gendered pronouns. beautiful, bubbly, cute, always smiling even tho i know they r sad deep down
75:tell us about your pets! small, black fur ball full of energy
76:is there anything you should be doing right now but aren’t? so many things
77:pink or yellow lemonade? pink
78:are you in the minion hateclub or fanclub? neither im a minion dc club
79:what’s one of the cutest things someone has ever done for you? idk told me i give them butterflies or get nervous when talking to me
80:what color are your bedroom walls? did you choose that color? if so, why? i think they r an off white an bc my apartment landlord wont let me change them lol
81:describe one of your friend’s eyes using the most abstract imagery you can think of. dark pools of chocolate
82:are/were you good in school? i was alright could of been better if i wasnt so lazy
83:what’s some of your favorite album art? never thought about that maybe something justin bieber has done
84:are you planning on getting tattoos? which ones? i want to but im not sure tbh
85:do you read comics? what are your faves? nope
86:do you like concept albums? which ones? yes theres a lot
87:what are some movies you think everyone should watch at least once in their lives? high school musical
88:are there any artistic movements you particularly enjoy? yes
89:are you close to your parents? yes
90:talk about your one of you favorite cities. im pretty sure i could never get tired of nyc
91:where do you plan on traveling this year? i successfully did not travel anywhere this year, thank you bank account ur the best
92:are you a person who drowns their pasta in cheese or a person who barely sprinkles a pinch? drown it in cheese
93:what’s the hairstyle you wear the most? short hair, short on the sides and longer on top
94:who was the last person you know to have a birthday? me
95:what are your plans for this weekend? lazy days
96:do you install your computer updates really quickly or do you procrastinate on them a lot? procrastination is my middle name
97:myer briggs type, zodiac sign, and hogwarts house? INFP, scorpio and hufflepuff
98:when’s the last time you went hiking? did you enjoy it? i dont think ive ever been hiking but i want to
99:list some songs that resonate to your soul whenever you hear them. over and over again by tim mcgraw, make you miss me by sam hunt, remember when by alan jackson, unhinged by nick jonas, chainsaw by nick jonas, untitled by simple plan and welcome to my life by simple plan
100:if you were presented with two buttons, one that allows you to go 5 years into the past, the other 5 years into the future, which one would you press? why? damn thats a really hard one. probably the future tbh.
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guhudude · 7 years
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Tagged by: @omuii le geef
Rules: Answer these 92 statements and tag 20 people
LAST:  1. Drink: coke 
2. Phone call: probably my mom 
3. Text message: to my girlfriend: ^_^
 4. Song you listened to: Free -6LACK 
5. Time you cried: uhhhhhhhhhh I think it was two weeks ago when I was frustrated with my family for not treating me like an adult
 HAVE YOU: 
6. Dated someone twice: nooo
 7. Kissed someone and regretted it: yes but I barely count it as a kiss lol. I was in 8th grade and gave my boyfriend a peck on the lips and the whole thing was so forced it was stupid 
8. Been cheated on: don't think so
 9. Lost someone special: yes 
10. Been depressed: heck yeck 
 11. Gotten drunk and thrown up: yeah I was at a party with some friends in college and it was a great party most of the people were LGBT and everybody was really chill but I just really wanted to get wrecked lol. I started with beer because I thought that was all they had but then I found out they had Smirnoff ice and I started drinking those, and I played a drinking game with shots of Long Island iced tea.... best party ever even though I did get sick twice 
LIST 3 FAVORITE COLORS:
 12-14: I can't believe this is just a clever way to skip my favorite number in the questions but ok: ultramarine blue, lime green, umm. Plum purple? Not all at once lol 
IN THE LAST YEAR HAVE YOU:
 15. Made new friends: yes
 16. Fallen out of love: yes (only romantically) 
17. Laughed until you cried: yes, usually because of The Squad, my Skype group 
18. Found out someone was talking about you: yupperooza. 
19. Met someone who changed you: hmmmm. I followed someone on tumblr does that count? 
20. Found out who your friends are: yes 
21. Kissed someone on your Facebook list: my gf ;) 
GENERAL: 
22. How many of your Facebook friends do you know in real life: almost all of them, so around 200
 23. Do you have any pets: Sasha, a 6 year old border collie-husky mix who is black with blue eyes (she's a little brat who tries to trip everyone by tackling their feet), and Gretchen, a 11 year old German shepherd mix with a big belly (and a bigger heart) and a curly tail 
24. Do you want to change your name: yeah, my legal name is both too feminine and too biblical. Hopefully someday I'll get to change it legally to Peri. 
25. What did you do for your last Birthday: I honestly don't remember :') it was probably boring 
26. What time did you wake up: I woke up at 9 surprisingly well rested 
27. What were you doing at midnight last night: watching Jupiter Ascending which is one heck of a movie 
28. Name something you can’t wait for: going to visit my geef in New Jersey again
 29. When was the last time you saw your mom: I'm sitting next to her on the couch watching family feud right now 
30. What is one thing you wish you could change in your life: GIVE ME THE HECKENING MOTIVATION!!!!
 31. What are you listening right now: G-Mix: Russel on Spotify. I'm goin through all of their playlists. B) 
32. Have you ever talked to a person named Tom: there were a few different guys named Tom at the campgrounds we used to go to every summer. 
33. Something that is getting on your nerves: my LACK!! OF MOTIVATION!!!!! 
34. Most visited website: tumblr, YouTube, kimcartoon 
LOST QUESTIONS. I JUST PUT IN RANDOM INFO ABOUT ME 
35. Mole/s: a few on my arms
 36. Mark/s: fuckin perpetual acne and scars from it on my shoulders and back : ) a birthmark on my left side and supposedly one on the back of my neck but ofc I've never actually seen it -squints- a few freckles here and there 
37. Childhood dream: to be literally every fucking profession. I wanted to be a princess, a fire fighter, a veterinarian, a cop, a psychiatrist...
 38. Hair color: brown
 39. Long or short hair: short, I look like one of the Beatles lmao 
40. Do you have a crush on someone: does my gf count 👀 
41. What do you like about yourself: I'm a good friend and I got a nice body 😘
 42. Piercings: just 2, one traditional piercing in each ear. I really want a bar of some kind, at least one cartilage piercing. 
 43. Blood type: O+
 44. Nickname: saoirse, seersh, peri, peridot 
45. Relationship status: taken by my gf 46. Zodiac: sexy, sexy Sagittarius ;)
 47. Pronouns: they/them or... ya know what idc actually any pronouns lol
 48. Favorite TV Show: Steven Universe, Rick and Morty, Community 49. Tattoos: none YET 
50. Right or left hand: right-handed though I am slightly better with my left hand at frisbee for some reason 
51. Surgery: once I had a surgery on my tooth that never came down because the teeth on either side were too close together. 
52. Hair dyed in different color: never :c
 ... yet 53. Sport: I used to be in track/field for one year in middle school, I was horrible at it but I did the 200, high jump and long jump. When I say I was bad at it I mean I was Literally The Worst on the team by far. I like to watch hockey especially in the arena because it gets WILD in there. You get to hear all the crazy shit all the drunk fans are saying and watch people get into fights and yell at each other 54. was there a 54 before bc i lost it i guess? and i just copy-pasted the whole thing 
55. Vacation: a nice little cabin in the woods with hiking trails around it would be perfect 👌 I'd also like to go on a cross-country road trip someday 
56. Pair of trainers: these black ones with neon laces that I wear to work, my favorite ones right now that are black with stars that glow in the dark (I don't wear them to work so as not to wear them out), a pair of black converse and a pair of black and teal vans, both of which I've had for years MORE GENERAL:
 57. Eating: nothing right now 
58. Drinking: coke  
59. I’m about to: READ A FUCKING BOOK FOR THE FIRST TIME IN 2 YEARS 
61. Waiting for: me to get my shit together 
62. Want: a raise? No? Damn. motivation??? .... shit. 
63. Get married: someday, u know it -finger guns- 
64. Career: artist/illustrator if I HAD THAT FUCKING MOTIVATION 👏👏👏 i have been wondering how I would do as a plumber tho.. 🤔 
WHICH IS BETTER 
65. Hugs or kisses: hugs
? 66. Lips or eyes: eyes
 67. Shorter or taller: maybe.. a LITTLE taller????????????? if ANYTHING??
 68. Older or younger: I am 19 and too far in either direction is Uncomfortable 😐
 70. Nice arms or nice stomach: What Does This Mean (in general tummies are nice tho) 
71. Sensitive or loud: hm?? I'm sensitive to loud noises???? I really don't know what this means
 72. Hook up or relationship: relationship
 73. Troublemaker or hesitant: "i’m a hesitant trouble-maker" -my gf and honestly, same 
HAVE YOU EVER: 
74. Kissed a Stranger: no 
75. Drank hard liquor: hell yea 
76. Lost glasses/contact lenses: I've briefly been unable to find them but I always find them again 
 77. Turned someone down: yes have you ever been friends with a Nice Guy 
78. Sex on the first date: what is this... Sex
 79. Broken someone’s heart: probably since I've turned people down 
80. Had your heart broken: yeah
 81. Been arrested: nope 😏don't plan on it either 
82. Cried when someone died: umm I cried like a week after someone died does that count? My emotions are delayed sometimes
 83. Fallen for a friend: ;) ye 
 DO YOU BELIEVE IN:
 84. Yourself: barely
 85. Miracles: not technically 
86. Love at first sight: sometimes 
87. Santa Claus: again not technically but I think he's a good symbol for kids and in general positive vibes during the holiday season
 88. Kiss on the first date: yeanoooo.. it takes a while for me. When in doubt just ask. And listen to my response lmao (someone kissed me after I said no and MMM 😬) 
OTHER:
 90. Current best friend name: I can't just pick one 😫I have like 10 REALLY great friends I trust with my life 
 91. Eye color: grey-green
 92. Favorite movie: the only movie I can think of right now is Jupiter Ascending because i just saw it last night and it's the first movie I've seen in months lol. OH FUCKING HECK INTERSTELLAR THATS MY FAVORITE MOVIE I LOVE INTERSTELLAR 
NOW, TAG 20 PEOPLE: imma do what tessa did and tag the last 20 mutuals in my notes so don’t feel obligated to do this or even read it! also if you don’t want me to tag you in these in the future let me know and i’ll do my best to avoid it. @gordamnramsey, @mysteriousquartz, @celestialmoonlights, @viviannevendetta, @carryonmywaywardplanet, @jamesxfilesthemeroach, @lordsardine, @woahdaleks, @prettythinker, @belleweather, @squidego, @reck2468, @sexyninjakitty96, @animeandmanga-bearcat, @thesamanthagossamer
im actually gonna cut it off there at 15 bc i don’t have that many active mutuals lol oK HAVE FUN EVERYBODY make sure to tag me if you do this!
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ACT OMEGA PART 9
THE 25/10/16 UPDATE
WOW, third update in one day? I must be extremely bored or something. Anyways, I think we’re just gonna start this up without the big fucking intro part. Lets just. do this.
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Come on you gay fucks, make up and KISS.
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G U Y S. Also Jake, look at Dirks face not his ass.
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OH man Jake looks sad and awkward.
DIRK: (Son of a fuck.) DIRK: (That was you trying to get me to leave you alone, wasn’t it?) JAKE: (I... well.) DIRK: (It’s fine. I get it, finally.) DIRK: (You don’t want anything to do with me, or this awkward dance we’ve been doing around each other.)
No damMIT, don’t leave him alone. you need to MAKE UP. not avoid eachother.
DIRK: (And I was convinced I'd actually try giving you some space so you wouldn’t have to deal with my overbearing bullshit anymore. Yet here I am.) DIRK: (Honestly, I’m not even sure why.) DIRK: (I just had this impulse to try and smooth things over with you by offering some sort of half-assed congratulations.)
You’re on the right track DIRK! You’re almost there, but instead of giving him a shitty congratulations, you need to work out whatever the your problem is dammit.
DIRK: (Sorry for making you uncomfortable for a solid 10 minutes by stringing that conversation along.) DIRK: (I’ll go bother someone else.) JAKE: (Dirk, wait!) DIRK: (What?) DIRK: (You don’t need to humor me. Or worry about hurting my feelings, or whatever.) DIRK: (You’re not obligated to care about any of that anymore.) DIRK: (That ship has sailed.)
A A . AH GH DF  Dirk you BUTT, just listen to the fuckin hope child.
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pft thanks jake.
JAKE: (Thats not... oh pussyfeathers!) JAKE: (This is exactly the problem!) DIRK: (Uh.) DIRK: (It is?) JAKE: (Im so lousy at saying what i mean and then you put all of these words in my mouth and i have no idea how to make you understand!)
YES JAKE THIS IS PrecISELY THE PROBLEM! 
JAKE: (Maybe because i hardly understand myself...) DIRK: (...) JAKE: (This is all so difficult to parse. I am utterly fucking bamboozled by everything thats happened today.) JAKE: (Ive tried to politely get everything to hold its damn horses for perhaps ten friggin minutes but no!) JAKE: (Those stallions shot right out of the gate with forceful gusto and ive been trying to keep from being trampled underneath their thundering hooves this entire time!) JAKE: (There are SO MANY PEOPLE here.) JAKE: (And while im sure theyre all perfectly upstanding folk i have no clue how im supposed to TALK to any of them.) JAKE: (Especially when i cant even bring myself to engage with those whom i actually KNOW.) JAKE: (Because im certain there are a plethora of things i need to apologize for but im still puzzling out what exactly they are.)
Damn, I know the feeling Jake. When you know you’ve done something wrong, and you have no fucking clue what it is, yet somehow that makes you feel even GUILTIER because you think you SHOULD know what you did wrong.
DIRK: (Jake...) JAKE: (Honestly ive been resigning myself to the possibility of never speaking to anyone ever again!) JAKE: (Considering im such a dunce theres no way ill ever be able to figure out how to make things right with you or jane.) JAKE: (And if i badger roxy ill no doubt botch things up with her too somehow.)
Dont be ridiculous Jake, I honestly doubt there’s any way for Roxy to ever hate you.
JAKE: (So whats the point?) JAKE: (Im never going to be a good friend let alone a good anything... more than that.) JAKE: (So ive already accepted that im really just a waste of space and i ought to spend the rest of my life keeping out of everyones way.) DIRK: (Holy shit, Jake. What?) JAKE: (Its just the simplest solution for everyone involved. Im fine with it!)
Jake you BUMFUzZLING BAFOON. COme on, get a goddamn grip on yourself.
JAKE: (I was perfectly willing to mind my own beeswax and allow the rest of you to mind yours and make myself scarce when the opportunity arose.) JAKE: (But then you ambled up to me and put that plan on ice.) DIRK: (Jake.) JAKE: (Which has had me reeling for the past little while let me tell you!) JAKE: (I dont know what to do because im getting the vibe that perhaps you still want to be friends? Though I cant even begin to guess why!) JAKE: (And im so conflicted because theres a part of me that does want to give the whole friendship thing another go even though i know its bound to end in disaster.) DIRK: (Jake-) JAKE: (But if im really going to commit to that mad gamble, it feels like this might be my only real chance to try and patch things up between us!) JAKE: (Except im so blasted TIRED! And even thinking about fumbling through that conversation with all of these people around makes me want to curl up into ball and...) JAKE: (And embarrass myself.) JAKE: (Though attempting to salvage my pride at this point seems a fools errand. Nobody can possibly take me seriously while im NOT WEARING ANY FUCKING PANTS.)
DAMMIT JAKE NOWS NOT THE TIME TO BRING UP YOUR BEAUTIFUL ASS
DIRK: (...) DIRK: (Ok.) JAKE: (Im sorry dirk i just cant right now. I cant. Its too much!) JAKE: (I know its so typical of me to chicken out and disappoint you.) DIRK: (Dude-) JAKE: (Sakes alive i cant believe i just went on and on like that what am i doing???)
You’re VENTING, Jake. It’s perfectly natural and everybody should be able to do it.
DIRK: (Ok!) DIRK: (Jake, I hear you!) DIRK: (You can stop, now.) DIRK: (The fact that you managed to whisper all that was pretty impressive.)
Yeah no shit. Like, how in the fuck was that a whisper?
DIRK: (But let’s take it down a notch. Like, to breathe.) JAKE: (...) DIRK: (Are you ok? Maybe we should sit down or something.) JAKE: (No i... everyone else is standing.) DIRK: (I don’t really care, and nobody else should either. Your legs look like they’re about to give out.) JAKE: (Im really fine and can we please not talk about my legs.)
... dammit jake
DIRK: (Shit, sorry. Sure thing.) JAKE: (But. Maybe sitting isnt such a terrible idea.)
It isnt. its the best idea. sit down and TALK.
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There you go, much better. Now dont fall.
DIRK: (Feeling any better?) JAKE: (A smidgen...) JAKE: (Are people looking at us?) DIRK: (Not sure. Probably not. But even so, you aren’t the only one who could use a breather. I’m sure they understand.) JAKE: (Ok...) DIRK: (So.) DIRK: (Sorry for putting words in your mouth. Looks like you already had plenty of your own in there.) JAKE: (...) DIRK: (I mean, like. There’s nothing wrong with that. I’m actually kind of glad you told me.) DIRK: (I’m going to be real with you here and say I’m more than a little concerned about some of what you just said.)
Yes, this is GOOD.  Dirk’s realizing that MAYBE Jake has problems of his own.
DIRK: (But I get you’re not in a position to talk about it right now. And, hell, there are probably better people to hash that shit out with than me.) DIRK: (You don’t have to say anything else. Especially not about... well, us, I guess.) DIRK: (I don’t know about a lot of the other stuff, but I’m perfectly willing to save opening up that particular can of worms for later.) DIRK: (I’m... probably not ready for that conversation either. So it’s most likely for the best.) DIRK: (Being perfectly frank, I’m also not exactly enthusiastic about this crowd. I’m not really used to having this volume of people around.) DIRK: (And I guess we’re both kind of at a loss when it comes to approaching them all. I demonstrated my lacking conversational chops earlier I think.) DIRK: (I knew it was a bad idea. But I came over here anyway.) DIRK: (Mostly because... I think I just really wanted to talk to you.) DIRK: (I guess old habits die hard.) DIRK: (Or in this case, ridiculously young ones.) JAKE: (Um...) DIRK: (Right. Getting to the point.) DIRK: (Whatever you may be thinking about yourself, I can pretty much guarantee you I don’t agree.) DIRK: (But I’m going to put that aside for now and just say that yeah, I really do still want to be friends.) DIRK: (If there’s some part of you that’s willing to give it a shot, I want you to promise me something.) JAKE: (Ok. What is it?) DIRK: (That you’ll put all that bullshit about cutting ties with everyone aside, at least for long enough to talk about this stuff properly later.)
Good, GOOD, they’re both not being idiots anymore. this is good. because holy shit that was awkward. they’re just gonna work out all their problems, and not be dumb shits over it.
DIRK: (It doesn’t even need to be with me. But just... somebody. I mean, don’t you want to talk to your grandma, dude? You’ve been pen pals for ages. And now she’s right there.) JAKE: (That, um... Yes actually. That does sound nice.) DIRK: (Good.) DIRK: (Maybe we ought to wrap this up, then.) DIRK: (Or am I wrong in thinking you still want some space?) JAKE: (So long as were all on this platform i doubt ill be getting very far with that either way.) DIRK: (True.) JAKE: (What i could really use is a NAP!) DIRK: (I feel that.) DIRK: (But it might have to wait a bit longer.) DIRK: (Think you can manage until then?) JAKE: (Probably?) DIRK: (And just to make things crystal clear...) DIRK: (Until we get our shit together enough to actually talk about, well...) DIRK: (You know what.) DIRK: (Are we cool?) JAKE: (I think so.) DIRK: (Thank fuck.)
Thank fuck indeed. I realize I didn’t say a whole lot during all this, mainly because I’m indifferent to this whole conversation. I’m not realizing anything new about them other than that they were really annoying when they tried avoiding the subjects. in a weird adorable awkward kinda way.
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Yes, there we go, fucking SMILE. 
DIRK: (C’mon.) DIRK: (Let’s go claim our reward.)
GO get’em tiger.
Alright, that was the end of their interaction! It was a little boring to read over, so that kinda made it tedious. not because the act omega team wrote it bad! i just never really cared much for either of these characters. BUT that’s fine. just personal preference and shit. BUT NOW WE GET A CHARACTER INTERACTMENT IVE BEEN LOOKING FORWARD TO.
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Here we are aN HOLY SHIT JADES EYES. I dont know what it is about them, they just look off.... HMMmm..
JADE: (hey rose?) ROSE: (Oh, hello Jade.)
8D THEY FINALLY MEET
ROSE: (I see you’ve finally woken from your nap.) JADE: (yeah!!! thank goodness!) JADE: (now i can finally give you a proper nice to see you hug!)
OH YES HUG HER NOW JADE
ROSE: (Is that so?) ROSE: (Well, It would be remiss of me to refu-)
8D....
thats the end of this update. I suppose I can ship them next time So yeah, expect a fourth update today.
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babyangeldan · 7 years
Text
Living up to your dreams Chapter 2
Phil was for sure in heaven. It's been only two weeks and seven meetings with Dan, but he felt like there was nothing more important than theirs conversations on the fluffy rug, laughs and secrets shared with shushed voices. Dan was mesmerised with outside word, especially Phil’s work. He had never met omega who liked listening about algorithms and process of making an app, game or general computer’s work. When he was telling Alexander about this idea, of game with challenges and time limit, young blond teen snorted and told Phil to man up. He is not a kid anymore and, even if he is any good in all this stuff, won’t it be better to use his skills in different way? Alex was really keen on Phil’s future in weapons construction. War and conflicts terrifies alpha so that idea was a big no no.

- Honey, you like this boy, don't you? - his mother asked when they were siting together in living room and watching her favourite TV show. Black haired man just nodded. He felt, of course, something to Dan at first sight - arousal. But right after few meeting, when boy opened a little, Phil found out that they have actually a lot of in common. Omega told him all about what he could or could not do. He has all electronics in his condo, made specially for omega, so he briefly knows how outside word looks like. He even told Phil in shushed voice that if he is sitting in this one place in his room he can catch Alpha’s father wifi and read articles made for betas. Right after his confession Dan curled to small ball and disappeared in his room in belief he told too much. It wasn’t, in eyes of society, for him to do that - but Phil didn't mind. If he liked betas stuff more why forbid it. The only thing Phil thought was different that he understood them. Everybody rather knew that omegas are far less intelligent.

- I’m sorry, but you need to decide quickly. Alpha Peter pressures me to seal the deal. - Catherine wasn't at ease. She knew that Dan was a true omega, and her son didn't know this before meeting. And she was truly glad. When he told her about Howell’s son she was really afraid Phil was wanting just a brain washed and obedient partner, but she raised him right. However it was still to much strange fog around this whole agreement. All this hurry…

- I already decided. - he told her taking a sip of coffee. 
 - I really like him, he is my omega I can feel it, but I can’t make him decide so early. He is still a little afraid of me. - Phil had all this plan, maybe in the next few months Dan will warm up to him more and agreed to marriage by his own choice.

- I’m worried we don't have that much time, my dear. You need to make a decision, yes or not. Peter gave us 24 hours. - Alpha Lester was now looking at his hands. What? 24 hours? Phil took of the couch almost immediately, he needs to go meet with Dan! Explain him this whole situation and ask about it. Yeah, thats not that bad. He will propose but as a friend and and…

- He banned you from his house till the wedding… I’m so sorry dear.


Phil was raised in quite modern household. His mother always said that omegas need to be cherished and loved, treated with respect and gentle manner. Young Lester never saw this domestic behaviour towards his father. They’ve lost him in tragic car accident. They have never spoked about it and Catherine never even tried to look after someone else. As Martyn said: she loved him too much to accept any different partner. So it wasn't really strange for Phil to want relationship like that. He dreamed that his future husband will love him and theirs kits. He has never even considered that his omega will be crying his eyes out on their wedding. He has never even considered that his omega will be crying his eyes out on their wedding only in white lace panties.


Taking any omega from theirs family was something like rite of passage. From this day alpha is obligated to take care of him and to take all the responsibilities of his actions. As figurative expression omegas come nowadays to the wedding in white simple dress or white trousers with shirt. Nothing fancy. They are coming to the new life with nothing but hope and trust. Phil heard that traditionally they needed to be naked, for everybody to see if „it was a good purchase”. And as living proof of this awful outdated tradition - Dan was standing there, in big room in Howells mansion only in fucking lingerie, trembling profusely. If Phil wasn't in such a shock he will probably end all this farce and made them put something on him.
 Brown haired boy was walking to him slowly and unsurely looking down. Meanwhile on the other hand all quests from Howells side, all alphas, was cheering like in the fucking strip club. Someone even whistled. Every alpha, beside Phil, in the room was obligated to wear scent concealing mask to sidestep any dangerous and primary behaviour, but Dan was smelling so strongly that they still felt uneasy. God, he was perfect. Milky skin, thin but with a little pudge near hips, not even a single hair on his body. No stop. Phil didn't know where to look. He can’t check him out here, without his consent. When Dan has stood in front of him something strange appeared to Phil. His future husband was nearly as tall as him, only few inches shorter, what was kinda strange. Omegas was usually smaller than alphas and black haired man never saw someone like him. Priest started talking, not even a little taken a back by appearance of the groom. He was chosen by Peter so clearly this whole deal wasn't new. Dan didn't even looked at him, the only thing Phil saw was tears on the carpet. 


- Alpha Phil Lester, as our Lord said, you can now take this omega as your property and do what you like. We trust however to be loyal to ours traditions and beliefs. - old man said. Was this right decision? If Phil wouldn't agreed to the wedding so quickly, they will find Dan another alpha, probably someone like Mark or even worse, someone like Peter. He wanted so badly to see this sweet boy and explain everything, from stars to finish, than this whole thing will be just to make Dan safe. They didn't need to be partners, just friends. Phil was going to give him space and support every action. Under young Lester life would be so much better than in Howell’s household. 
But now, as omega was still crying and alpha was fastening a big, black collar our boys neck he wasn't so sure. His mother choose this one, just a plain one with blocky DL letters. Daniel Lester.

- Dan, I’m so sorry… - he murmured kissing omega on the cheek delicately. Brown haired teen didn't answer, but looked up at his, from now on, husband, It wasn't a look Phil was hoping for. Newly wed was looking at him, still crying, with loath and pure anger. He was like scared animal, not composed and weak, but still ready to bite. It was all that alpha could take. It was an end of nice fucking Phil. He is now fully an alpha, Dan is his and they all can eat shit. He took off his jacket and put it around boys naked shoulders, took his hand. Theres no time to be gentle right now.

- I’m taking him home. - he said to Catherine going to the front door, fast and unapologetic, Dan stamping weakly behind him. 

- But, quests and the dinner… - They had still obligation to Howell’s family and their own one. They needed to show everybody that it was a good decision.

- Fuck this, I can do with my omega the fuck I want. - he hissed and almost drag said omega to the car outside. After all this he need to probably apologise but right now Dan was the most important thing. Still in amuck he tossed his husband near him and fasten his seatbelt. 

In this brief time they was driving to Phil’s private flat, their future flat, Dan ended his big cry and now was only clenching fists and teeth. He looked so small, despite the high. All this anger and emotions started to wander off him. Oh god, he was too rough with Dan and now omega is probably even more afraid. 

- Let’s go home… - he took Dan’s hand and now really cautiously lead him to Lester’s penthouse. 

 - Wait here for me, I’m gonna come right back. - he said with said voice leaving omega in the kitchen. Dan needed something to wear, something clean and soft, to make him feel safer. Phil in the most sincere dreams couldn’t even think about what he saw, when he came back to the kitchen.


- Don't come near me! - his sweet omega was screaming profusely, standing in the middle of the room, with knife aiming at Phil.
 - Dan, what? - alpha was in shock. Why, what’s going on? 
- Don't even try to touch me… - Boy was trembling with fear, but firmly holding his weapon. Phil was the same, just like them. Awful and sneaky alpha. Dan almost believed that he was different, that he was caring, a good friend… But it all was a fucking game, some kind of fetish. Liar. 
Phil took few subtle steps to him.

- Dan, please. I will not hurt you… - he whispered holdings his hand up, to show that everything is alright, no-one will hurt anybody.

- Fuck you! I’m clearly your omega and you can do whatever you want, just like you said! - he screamed Lester’s word, from no more that twenty minutes before. Oh god. Dan thought he will take him, mark him, scent him, make him his without consent. Phil eyes went big. No no, it wasn't like that. To alpha’s terror now knife was aiming into Dan’s belly. Boy was smart, there was no chance to win this if man attacked. 

- Don't come closer, don't please… - now omega was crying weakly digging blade in his abdomen, not cutting skin yet. He couldn't take it, not anymore. Phil betrayed his trust, but Dan still liked him. He never liked anyone before, he never had a friend like this. Ha couldn’t take it, if Phil will hurt him.

- Daniel, stop it. Put knife on the worktop. - Phil hadn't have choice and used his alpha voice. This sweet doe eyed omega listened, of course - he had to obey. Right after that, Phil grabbed his husband and hold him in strong embrace. Oh god, it was so close to tragedy, what if Dan killed himself? 

Omega was crying, not in fear anymore, but confusion. Today was too much for him, being betrayed, then put in the room full of strangers almost naked… He didn't even see that many people at once! 
- I’m so sorry sir, I’m so sorry… - he was mumbling into Phil’s shirt. Even if he didn't like it, alpha's scent was soothing. Black haired man shushed him and kissed top on his head. God, its too much emotions for one day.

- Listen, I will never hurt you, I will never do something you are uncomfortable with. I’ m so sorry for today. - he mumbled into his head. Dan is safe right now, it’s the most important thing. Of course Phil fucked up, but it needed to be done. To omega’s surprise Phil kneeled in front of him.

- I’m hoping you will forgive me and trust again. - he whispered delicately hugging boy’s legs, being really cautious to not touch with his head front of Dan’s underwear.
 Omega couldn't comprehend what is going on. Alpha is kneeling before him? Oh god, if anybody will see this, Phil would be stoke off in alphas circle. God, brown haired boy was so confused.
- You don’t… want to… take me? - he mumbled looking down at Phil. He said he don't want to hurt him, so he will not. And Dan don't want to be touched like that, probably never.

- If you don't want me to, no. We are friends, remember. - Phil was now looking at him with affection. Of course he wants to take him. Omega smelled so strongly, so erotic and was standing before him almost naked - but he is not a rapist. Everything will be alright, they will be happy. He is sure. 

- Friends..

- Yeah, Dan. Friends, best friends. I promise. - Phil took his hand and hooked theirs little fingers with his, in kids manner. Omega was in too big shock to do something else, than nodded delicately.
After that Phil profusely described Dan how they relationship will work. As said they will be friends, not husbands right now. If omega would like them to be romantically involved in the future he will be more than happy, but Dan should feel safe and comfortable.

- And please, don't ever try to hurt yourself. I couldn’t live with the knowledge its because of me. - he murmured gently patting brown haired boy on his head. Omega still didn't have new clothes, but old Phil’s sweats worked just fine. They were too big, of course - but in alphas opinion boy looked even cuter in bigger size than in his usual tight shorts and as quite normal visibly felt safer, even putting his hands in sweater paws.
- You must be tired, goodnight Dan. - Phil kissed omega on the forehead and got up to leave quest bedroom. There was to much to assume that young Howell will like to sleep with him, even if Phil was wanting to feel his heat on so badly.

- Friends… - he heard standing almost near the exit. Dan was tucked safely in the bed, but still was looking at him with this big curious and wary eyes.

- Yeah, best friends. - he breathed while leaving.
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deiemos · 7 years
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they meet a second time, unsurprisingly in the exact same spot behind campus where jhin is once again high on some sort of joint and making out with a faceless stranger he’s not quite sure he knows the name of. easy how he slips back into deplorable habits— not so much the drugs part, but the inexplicable need to chase after bodies of a certain stature, with a particular curve to the cupid’s bow that’s so hard to replicate. he’s never felt them beneath his, besides the harmless kisses against ten-year-old-jhin’s bruised knees. the lucky bastard. it’s a fantasy he really shouldn’t be trying to recreate, especially with the speed at which he goes through these boys, who do nothing to quench his curiosity. too tall, shoulders too narrow, lips that curve at the wrong angle; he’s beyond frustrated with his lack of progress. 
meeting baekhyun has let loose a whole spectrum of repressed emotion that he had been ( keywords: had been ) so sure he lost with the pitchiness in his pre-pubescent voice. his persistence can only get him so far, and even with the reprehensible number of men he’s kissed in the past six days, he’s yet to find someone that’ll take his mind off a pair of lips he yearned to kiss over mugs of hot coffee. his logic is all kinds of fucked up, but maybe, just maybe, kissing someone with similar lips will convince him that it’s as uncomplicated as lusting over another body part, and not because he has, god forbid, feelings for a person. maybe if he kisses enough boys he’ll stop thinking about rectangle shaped smiles and quietly distant eyes. so far, his plan doesn’t seem to be going very well. trying to kiss the attraction away makes him feel like human trash, and he ends up longing to see baekhyun again. not to say he wasn’t absolute garbage before, but wanting to kiss baekhyun feels so damn wrong, yet so, so right. they lost contact for twelve years, he should be over this, goddamn it!
so when the man he’s been silently pining after rounds the corner to the alley, his heart all but stops in his chest. their eyes meet over the brunette that jhin’s kissing, and he doesn’t stop or pull away, only staring baekhyun down as he continues ravishing the lips that have been set in front of him. there’s the familiar clatter of books falling to the ground, and jhin doesn’t know what to make of it; one second too late for it to be out of shock, like the day prior, and too early to be a conscious effort to get his attention. he finally gets around to pushing the boy away from him, watching baekhyun’s expression, only to find nothing in the carefully vacant stare that he wish he wasn’t acquainted with. the boy jhin’s been kissing stammers a goodbye and runs in the opposite direction. even as the land of freedom, america’s still not very keen on same-sex anything. but as it comes to most things, jhin hardly pays it any mind, only wiping his kiss-swollen lips with the back of his hand subconsciously, like it pains him to have kissed another person. 
baekhyun averts his gaze subtly, and again, he’s left with more questions than answers. it seems to always be like that with baekhyun: a labyrinth, a maze of convoluted paths that never seem to converge. every time he thinks he’s making headway, he walks into a dead end with nothing to do but to backtrack over all the progress he thought he made. it doesn’t help that baekhyun always seems so close, yet painfully out of reach. like jhin could reach out and touch him, make sense of the boy with the same eyes and lips, only to fall short; all hollow eyes, and even hollower smiles. baekhyun is not the boy he used to know. and for someone who’s so adamant about forgetting everything that’s happened in the past and leaving it behind him, jhin’s indescribably melancholic when he thinks about twelve years of lost time. with baekhyun, he finds himself clinging onto the past, grasping on to any semblance of what they used to have with aching fingers and gaping breaths. he thinks maybe if baekhyun just extended his arm to him they’d be able to piece together whatever’s left. he doesn’t.
baekhyun looks antsy beneath the facade of indifference— jhin’s proud of himself for picking that up, at least— and he looks like he wants to say something. watching your ( ex ) best friend shove his tongue down another man's throat after only having met once in the last decade is probably a lot to handle, so jhin hardly pays any of his hesitance mind. he's used to judging looks. something tells him the look in baekhyun’s eyes isn’t quite the same, but he’s too busy being completely shell-shocked at the fact that baekhyun’s here. even though they had promised to meet sometime again, he didn’t think it’d happen at all, let alone this quickly. although korean comes more easily now, talking to baekhyun is still like trying to navigate a minefield. he’s terse and unspeaking when it comes to most topics, only offering a placid smile in return to jhin’s excitable attempts, but when jhin manages to hit home with a particular topic, baekhyun engages in conversation willingly and blusters out a thousand questions at once. it’s still awkward, and there are more than a handful of painful silences that makes jhin want to suffocate himself ( baekhyun, on the other hand, seems perfectly content with the overhanging quietness ), but they make do.
on their second meeting jhin talks about what he first did when he travelled to america. it reminds him of a painfully lonely period of time, but baekhyun’s eyes shine when he speaks of corn dogs overlooking the statue of liberty— baekhyun hasn’t had the time to explore the city yet. jhin finds himself promising him a full tour of the city, declaring that he accepts payment in favours ( that won’t be too hard, he swears! ).
“alright, it’s a date.” it slips from his mouth before he can stop himself. fuck you, freudian.
“…. a date?” baekhyun stares at him weirdly. he forgets that jhin’s the master of feigned obliviousness and a mysterious foreigner who knows the inner workings of everything new york.
“of course. that’s what all westerners call it! a meeting between friends, it’s a date.”
baekhyun’s lips form an ‘o’ that jhin shouldn’t find pretty, or want to kiss. “okay. see you on thursday for our date.”
he thinks he could die happy.
JHIN’S SUPER AMAZING TASTY BIG APPLE TOUR FT. BAEKHYUN!, or so he’s chosen to name it ( don’t forget the exclamation mark ), spans over a whole month. he really doesn’t need that much time to bring baekhyun to all these tourist hotspots, but he’s somehow managed to convince himself that they can only do one activity a day so it remains Fresh and Cool. needless to say, baekhyun’s forced to oblige to his whims and fancies. when they first start out, jhin is more of a tourist than baekhyun. he has a makeshift loudhailer ( a cone of paper ) and a crappy flag ( a paper on a stick ) that he waves around excitedly just in case baekhyun somehow "gets lost", despite there only being one person on the tour. if baekhyun's annoyed he doesn't show it outside muffled complaints and curses that jhin does NOT think are hot. he doesn't have much of a say when jhin buys them matching shirts that spell out "i ❤ NY"— "it's a tradition, a must-have item!". by the end of it, they’re both decked out embarrassingly, looking like the tourists that they are, jhin notes proudly. 
with the golden age of capitalism taking root in america, jhin trails behind consumerism like the weed-smoking, snapback wearing exchange student that he is. baekhyun looks faintly sad whenever he sees jhin divulge himself to everything material. it makes jhin think about korea and the war and how he really shouldn't be enjoying himself here, doing drugs and fucking bitches— but if there's anything that's stayed rooted in his heart, it's stubbornness. if korea didn't want him, then he didn't want korea either. childish, yes, but he never claimed to be more than petty. somewhere deep in the crevices of his mind he knows he cares, and that korea will always be home, his home; he's just been hurt by the same shit one too many times for him to pussy out and act like he gives a fuck ( he does, he cares way too much ). after all, he hasn't spoken to anyone he knew from korea for years, and he's not about to change that anytime soon. baekhyun's an exception and jhin can ignore that underlying sadness just fine ( or so he’s convinced himself ). jhin makes it up to him with more corn dogs than he can stomach, holding one stick between each finger and pretending to tickle baekhyun with them; he smiles brighter than whatever melancholy he's kept tightly veiled and jhin thinks maybe this is enough.
( it still makes him sad to think about how baekhyun looks at everything in america with wide-eyed wonder. is this how jhin looked when he first arrived? how bad had the war become for him to looked so thrilled by oily battered hot dogs and pretentiously overpriced souvenir keychains? )
ignorance truly is a bliss.
the statue of liberty is uneventful, but jhin can make anything interesting, even a large, mould-green lady. what baekhyun wants is what he will get! they wear their obnoxiously matching new york shirts and walk around with their caps on backwards.
"we look stupid...."
"you mean COOL. we're the trendiest people here!!"
baekhyun sighs and straightens his cap. jhin grins.
the green lady is huge. mouldy and huge. she stands in her moulded, rusted glory while jhin reads off a list of facts ( see: JHIN'S SUPER AMAZING TASTY BIG APPLE TOUR FT. BAEKHYUN! FACTS! two exclamation marks ).
"the statue of liberty is... HOLY SHIT THATS FUCKING HUGE-- SHE'S MORE THAN 305 FEET TALL!!! HOW TALL IS THAT BAEKHYUN??? HOW MANY FOOTBALL FIELDS... hm...."
when he gets no response, he looks to baekhyun who's stood beside him. if jhin didn't know him better he'd assume that look was one of awe. but because he's spent twelve years pining, and the last twelve days observing and memorising, he knows otherwise. it isn't the look of an awestruck tourist beholding a large man made structure. it's reverence, almost akin to fear— head bowed slightly, arms folded in front of his legs— like he's seen statues this big and respected them. not the work itself, but the person it was moulded after. these pieces of baekhyun are confusing and hard to piece together. and while he might like to pretend to be a fool, he's not the same boy who took everything as it was back in korea. he knows something is wrong, but maybe he hasn't changed in some ways. feigning obliviousness is always easier.
in a giant leap of faith, he takes baekhyun's hand and draws him out of his reverie. it's a bad idea, and he really hates himself for wanting to provide baekhyun with some sort of comfort even though he isn't certain what's going on in that complex mind of his. baekhyun flinches with his whole body, and looks like he might hit jhin over the head with his free hand out of reflex. when he realises it's just jhin, he relaxes but remains slightly tense, trying to wretch his hand out of jhin's grip. there's a fluttering in jhin's chest when he doesn't actually do it. he knows baekhyun could, in a heartbeat, but he just stares at jhin questioningly.
"it's—" fuck damn it jhin, think!! "— it's a friend thing!!! like... calling these meetings a date. friends hold hands too, when they go out on dates. i just haven't told you until now because... I WAS WAITING FOR THE RIGHT TIME! you have to ask at the optimal time. it's essential to good friendship growing."
a look of skepticism flitters across baekhyun's carefully poised features, but it's replaced with a smile as soon as it comes. it's barely there, just an upward twitch of his lips, but it's the most genuine expression he's got out of baekhyun so far. he's managed to fall more in love with this enigmatic boy, and he thinks he's really starting to deserve this hell. maybe he's a masochist. there's hesitance in the way baekhyun pulls to link their fingers together, tentative touches with jhin sliding his digits between baekhyun's to finish what he started. now... now he could die happy.
baekhyun has proven to be a better student than jhin is a teacher. he's distracted easily and never tells baekhyun if what he's saying is right. most of what he wants to teach is nothing that baekhyun actually needs. the first lesson is on swears, so is the second and the third. by the end of the fifth, baekhyun's ready to curse out anyone, locked and loaded with yo momma jokes and a colourful vocabulary.
jhin only gives in when baekhyun whines.
"okay. the first thing you need to know how to say is... 'where are nyu's dorms?' you need to be able to come back here when you want to learn more." so i can see you.
baekhyun nods, looking happy that he's learning something more than 'yo momma's so fat she got baptised at sea world'.
"you say", jhin clears his throat and continues again, in english. "wassup motherfucker!!! where the nyu dorm bitches at? chop chop." he snaps once for each 'chop'. ( "the snapping is NECESSARY, baekhyun. if you don't do it they won't know what you're talking about." )
by the end of the lesson, jhin's halfway off his chair and sprawled on the ground laughing while baekhyun looks at him irately, mouth pinched into a frown as he musses his frustration-wrought hair.
"what the fuck am i doing wrong?!!"
"NOTHING! NOTHING AT ALL! YOURE DOING FANTASTIC. now.. repeat after me", breaks into english, "AWWWWWWESOME MAAAAAAAN".
needless to say, baekhyun makes it back to him semi-safely every week. jhin's heart betrays him by hoping.
the first time he has completely nothing planned is in his final's week. he's tired, stinky and aches all over from having slaved over studying in all of his last-minute-jhin-cramming glory. when baekhyun pushes his dorm room door open, he's half dead, rotting while slumped over his work desk— he doesn't even notice him coming in until baekhyun positions his forefinger beneath his nose to check if he's still alive and breathing. he is, but he really really wishes he wasn't. a mouthful of deranged gibberish later, he's pushing his glasses on and trying to shift into a more presentable position. if he weren't dead in the brain and jelly in the limbs, he'd be more embarrassed at baekhyun catching him off guard and Uncool, but as soon as he processes everything his mind flies into panic and he flails like a fish out of water. he has nothing and nowhere to bring baekhyun to, and he can't conjure up any new swear words when he has a year-long research presentation tomorrow, something he had completely forgotten about until four hours ago.
he's running out of excuses to see baekhyun and he knows it. new york is fairly large, but with his term growing more intense, he's having trouble coming up with weird, unseen attractions he can bring baekhyun to because he's practically covered everything possible. ( "they're attractions because you make it! anything can be touristy!" ) the possibility of never seeing baekhyun again eats at him, because like the tour guide he is, they, too, have an expiry date, don't they? he can only hope that baekhyun is fine sitting here doing nothing while jhin tries to complete the rest of his music theory assignments.
and then baekhyun does the impossible. he laughs. jhin's heart stops in his chest. this is it, he's finally dead. he's gone to heaven. it was worth it, twenty-two years, it was a good run. he's always imagined that he'd go out smoking a blunt and flipping his father off, but this is infinitely better.
until he realises he isn't actually dead. he must've been pulling quite the expression for baekhyun to be laughing harder, halfway to slapping at his knee while watching him. jhin joins in after he's done being offended, and they spend minutes just laughing until their stomach hurts, for no reason at all. it's the closest they've gotten to being what they used to be, and when it's over it hurts. he's left grasping at loose threads with no one on the other side; he's tasted this little piece of heaven and now has to let go. the smile on his lips wanes at the corners; melancholic, maybe just a little forlorn, and he knows baekhyun can tell, but he's grown too tired to masking his feelings. he's hidden them all his life, and even if baekhyun isn't The One, he hopes they've grown close enough in the last few weeks to be considered friends.
"... i'm sorry, i'm going to have to postpone our date. i'm completely swamped", jhin starts, trying to push the weariness out of his voice. baekhyun stays silent, just staring. that's not a good sign—
"— if you want you can sta—"
"i can stay he—"
they continue, at the same time. jhin keeps baekhyun's gaze, even as the latter turns away. it's baekhyun who speaks first.
"can i stay here? if you don't mind..."
"WHAT?! I MEAN— yes. yes of course...! your company is most definitely welcomed good sir," he babbles out of nervousness. baekhyun smiles his signature smile, faint and barely there, but one that jhin can identify a mile away.
baekhyun nods and makes himself comfortable beside jhin, scowling at the mess which is his table every once in awhile. he cleans up ( around jhin, the biggest mess ) without being asked to and asks questions about his course. he listens to jhin ramble on about music technicalities and lets jhin practice his presentation while acting like he understands the english. if jhin wasn't already in love before, he is now, hopelessly, utterly infatuated with his best friend, and doomed to a life of pure misery and heartbreak. somewhere between misplaced words and tacky souvenirs, he's fallen for a boy who brings more questions than answers, whose smile doesn't reach his eyes most of the time, but looks at jhin with all of his attention. someone who smiles at corn dogs and rock music, and looks like a child when brought to giant hyper marts. a boy who's so shrouded in mystery jhin isn't sure how to keep up. he decides he likes both sides of baekhyun; the enigma and the childhood friend. he really is a masochist.
he falls asleep to baekhyun humming a familiar tune under his breath, something he swears he's heard before. he can't place it, but the song makes his gut twist, even on the edge of wakefulness. it sounds too familiar, too dangerous and wrong. exhaustion takes him before he can think further, enveloping him in another bubble of blissful ignorance that he's all too happy to slip into.
when he wakes up baekhyun is gone and he is alone again.
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viralhottopics · 7 years
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X-Plan: Giving Your Kids A Way Out
Friends, as most of you know, I get to spend an hour each week with a group of young people going through addiction recovery. Yes. Young people. Im talking teenagers who are locked away for at least six months as they learn to overcome their addictions. Im always humbled and honored to get this time with these beautiful young souls that have been so incredibly assaulted by a world they have yet to understand. This also comes with the bittersweet knowledge that these kids still have a fighting chance while several of my friends have already had to bury their own children.
Recently I asked these kids a simple question: How many of you have found yourself in situations where things started happening that you werent comfortable with, but you stuck around, mainly because you felt like you didnt have a way out?
They all raised their hands.
Every single one of them.
In the spirit of transparency I get it. Though in my mid-40s, Im still in touch with that awkward boy who often felt trapped in the unpredictable currents of teenage experiences. I cant count the times sex, drugs, and alcohol came rushing into my young world; I wasnt ready for any of it, but I didnt know how to escape and, at the same time, not castrate myself socially. I still recall my first time drinking beer at a friends house in junior high schoolI hated it, but I felt cornered. As an adult, that now seems silly, but it was my reality at the time. Peer pressure was a frivolous term for an often silent but very real thing; and I certainly couldnt call my parents and ask them to rescue me. I wasnt supposed to be there in the first place. As a teen, forcing down alcohol seemed a whole lot easier than offering myself up for punishment, endless nagging and interrogation, and the potential end of freedom as I knew it.
X-Plan
www.BertFulks.com
For these reasons, we now have something called the X-plan in our family. This simple, but powerful tool is a lifeline that our kids are free to use at any time. Heres how it works:
Lets say that my youngest, Danny, gets dropped off at a party. If anything about the situation makes him uncomfortable, all he has to do is text the letter X to any of us (his mother, me, his older brother or sister). The one who receives the text has a very basic script to follow. Within a few minutes, they call Dannys phone. When he answers, the conversation goes like this:
Hello?
Danny, somethings come up and I have to come get you right now.
What happened?
Ill tell you when I get there. Be ready to leave in five minutes. Im on my way.
At that point, Danny tells his friends that somethings happened at home, someone is coming to get him, and he has to leave.
In short, Danny knows he has a way out; at the same time, theres no pressure on him to open himself to any social ridicule. He has the freedom to protect himself while continuing to grow and learn to navigate his world.
www.BertFulks.com
This is one of the most loving things weve ever given him, and it offers him a sense of security and confidence in a world that tends to beat our young people into submission.
However, theres one critical component to the X-plan: Once hes been extracted from the trenches, Danny knows that he can tell us as much or as little as he wants but its completely up to him. The X-plan comes with the agreement that we will pass no judgments and ask no questions (even if he is 10 miles away from where hes supposed to be). This can be a hard thing for some parents (admit it, some of us are complete control-freaks); but I promise it might not only save them, but it will go a long way in building trust between you and your kid.
(One caveat here is that Danny knows if someone is in danger, he has a moral obligation to speak up for their protection, no matter what it may cost him personally. Thats part of the lesson we try to teach our kidswe are our brothers keeper, and sometimes we have to stand for those too weak to stand for themselves. Beyond that, he doesnt have to say a word to us. Ever.)
For many of us parents, we lament the intrusion of technology into our relationships. I hate seeing people sit down to dinner together and then proceed to stare into their phones. It drives me nuts when my kids text me from another room in our house. However, cell phones arent going away so we need to find ways to use this technology to help our kids in any way we can.
Since first publishing this on my personal site, Ive seen an incredible amount of discussion about the pros and cons. Here are some of the questions folks have had:
Doesnt this encourage dishonesty?
Absolutely not. It actually presents an opportunity for you as a parent to teach your kids that they can be honest (something DID come up, and they DO have to leave), while learning that its okay to be guarded in what they reveal to others. They dont owe anyone an explanation the next day, and if asked can give the honest answer, Its private and I dont want to talk about it. Boom! Another chance for a social skill life-lesson from Mom and Dad.
Does this cripple a kid socially instead of teaching them to stand up to others?
I know plenty of adults who struggle to stand up to others. This simply gives your kid a safe way out as you continue to nurture that valuable skill.
What if this becomes habitual?
If youre regularly rescuing your kid, hopefully your family is having some conversations about that.
If you dont talk about it or ask questions, how do they learn?
If youre building a relationship of trust with your kids, theyll probably be the ones to start the conversation. More importantly, most of these conversations need to take place on the FRONT-side of events. Ever taken a cruise? They all make you go through the safety briefing in case the boat sinks. They dont wait until the ships on fire to start telling you about the lifeboats. Talk with them. Let your kids ask questions and give them frank answers.
If theyre not where theyre supposed to be, shouldnt there be consequences?
Lets be honest. A kid in fear of punishment is a lot less likely to reach out for help when the world comes at them. Admitting that theyre in over their heads is a pretty big life lesson all by itself. However, dont get so caught up in all of the details. This isnt a one-size-fits-all scheme. Every parent, every kid, and every situation is unique. What it might look like in your family could be totally different from mineand thats okay.
I urge you to use some form of an X-plan in your home. If you honor it, your kids will thank you for it. You never know when something so simple could be the difference between your kid laughing with you at the dinner table or spending six months in a recovery center or (God forbid) something far worse.
At the end of the day, however, the most important thing is that youre having some open, honest discussions with your kids. Keep building a relationship of trust. This isnt the same world we grew up in. Its not like sneaking a beer at Billys house anymore. Our kids face things on a daily basis thatgiven one bad decisioncan be fatal. Dont believe me? Ive been to funerals for great kids from awesome families.
Friends, its a dangerous world. And our kids are out in it everyday.
Prayers for strength and compassion to the parents out there as we all try to figure out this parenting gigit never gets easy.
Please share this piece. Talk about it with your kids. If this somehow gives just one kid a way out of a bad situation, we can all feel privileged to have been a part of that.
#xplan
Blessings, friends.
This piece originally appeared on www.BertFulks.com
Read more: http://huff.to/2m6fsLP
from X-Plan: Giving Your Kids A Way Out
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