Ok I gotta know

What’s your thoughts on that one anon (🐝)’s takes

context 1 and context 2

ohohohohhohohoohohohoh. ohohohoh. Well. Basically they're wrong about what headcanons ARE and how they work as a fan created thing. They also definitely need to examine why they feel the way they do about headcanoning characters as having marginalized identities. I wrote a whole essay on trans headcanons specifically under a similar ask and what I said can be easily applied to other aspects of headcanoning characters as minorities (i actually got a lot of the ideology for that essay from discussions of "blackwashing" in fandom)

some other things on what they said (warning: LONG)

My major issues with their thoughts on headcanons can be summed up with the essay i linked. im not going to be going into that stuff as deeply again because we would be here all day, so the rest is just specifics

"but i really hate it when people change pronouns of characters (IVE SEEN PEOPLE USE SHE/HER WHEN REFERING TO SILVER SPOON. LET THE MAN BE A MAN IF HE WANTS TO BE A MAN.)"

Silver Spoon, and other characters for that matter, are quite frankly not real and do not have actual desires or feelings that you can hurt. Also see my essay on trans headcanons.

"but what makes me the most furious is... people making characters autistic. nothing against autism, i understand that, but do you really need to make paper, fan, silver spoon, pen, etc. autistic just because they have specific interests or act... idk, just the way they act?! its just. it doesnt make sense to me."

Bee needs to examine why they feel the way they do about autistic headcanons. A majority of the times characters are being headcanoned as autistic, they're being headcanoned as that be actual neurodivergent people who seem themselves or their autistic friends in these characters or traits.

There are certainly some issues with certain aspects of autistic (or any other disability) headcanons, like infantilization, but Bee's issue seems to be the fact that there are a lot of characters being headcanoned. Which is just not a problem.

"hc's that dont affect story are fine, but ones that completely flip the story or ignore anything confirmed by the employees."

Headcanons are personal thoughts on the story and do not have any bearing on the story or how you interpret the characters. They are a fan creation like fanart or fanfiction.

"EX: "i headcanon that mic and knife are in a relationship!" that completely ignores the fact that some of the pride month art shows that knife is gay. Cakebrunch (official II storyboarder) confirmed that soap and mic are in a relationship."

Cakebrunch is not a writer and does not have any bearing on the written canon of the characters. Just because he works on the show does not mean his headcanons have any bearing on the canon.

"make as many autistic characters you want, yeah! its great to support autism! but you dont have to make every character autistic, okay? (directed towards people that hc lots of characters as autistic)"

Again, the people who are doing this are mostly autistic or otherwise neurodivergent. And they aren't "making" the characters autistic, they're depicting them as such. No harm in that.

Now for the ships ask.

This is less of my domain, as I'm not really a shipper and don't know much about romance and relationship dynamics but I will try.

Also like nothing against people who don't like shipping as a whole, I totally get it. I was in your boat before.

"i absolutely HATE osc ships. half of them are either "oh these characters dislike each other/disliked each other at one point" and the other half is "these two friends should date because theyre friends.""

and that leaves..... characters who haven't interacted?

honestly, if this was between real people that would be really disrespectful.

Except they're not, so it's completely fine. I have a feeling Bee was in an RPF heavy fandom before this one, this and the previous take about pronouns are common discourse points in those.

EX: Fantube. yeah, they tried to raise shimmer together and built bot, but platonic parents exist and CAN THEY JUST BE FRIENDS?! PLEASE?

Like headcanons, ships have no bearing on the canon and in canon they are just friends.

EX: Nickloon. ok, nickels trying to make up for being rude to balloon all throughout season two. but really? they dont have to date just because theyre friends, yknow. imagine someone saying "oh you and your best friend who you only platonicallly love- you should date!" to you. that'd honestly be rude.

They're not real so they can't experience this. Problem solved.

yeah, some ships are confirmed but thats different. EX: Knickle. offical II storyboarder Cakebrunch CONFIRMED theyre in a relationship. thats an official employee of the series saying that a ship is real. not some random person on TikTok saying that TennisGolf is canon because TB is GB's closest ally.

Again with citing Cakebrunch's fan stuff as canon. Interesting how they cited a storyboarder's fan works twice but failed to mention Balloon being arospec as said by a show creator in the nickloon section. While I have my thoughts on word-of-god confirmation, which I will not be getting into here, it is far more canon than any fanwork.

A lot of the rest of this is just confusion about why people ship things. This is different for each ship and each shipper, and if you're ever confused about where a ship came from you can just ask the shipper. There's usually a reason (and depending on who you ask, a whole essay) as to why a ship came about or how it would work. Sometimes though it is just for fun or comedy, and that's not really a bad thing. We're here to enjoy ourselves, after all.

One last thing though,

and dont get me started on those ships that throw certain characters in canon ships (looking at you, metallic salad/metallic salad + mephone shippers.) because like. why? certain characters have established relationships with others, and your just like "ohh well those two are in a relationship, but mic and knife are a cute ship so how about mic + knife + pickle? makes sense!" like. please.

I don't know much on dynamics and specifics (see: not much of a shipper) but from what I have seen of multiships and polyships, all the dynamics and how the characters would all work together is very much thought about.

Also knickle isn't canon and the people shipping knife x mic x pickle are also aware knickle isn't canon. Nobody is thinking of it like that.

Anyways, time for the conclusion.

Bee anon is fundamentally wrong about how fandom works. Headcanons and ships hold no baring on the canon or your interpretation of the canon. Fandom is a place where canon is transformed in fan works for the fan's enjoyment, it is not a place where canon is determined or changed. You can interpret a work however you please, you can even divorce it from fan works entirely if you wish. Bee also has some things they need to think about in regards to why they feel the way they do about queer and autistic headcanons.

Thanks for reading.

Edser / SCK asks Ep 30 and 31 Fragman

Asks below the cut. 

Anonymous said: Thoughts on the second trailer for epi 31

My thoughts on the fragman are complicated. Here’s the thing, this show is my happy place and I want my-- and everyone else who reads what I have to say-- experience to be positive. 

So I’m going to say this once and then not dwell. (This means don’t send me a bunch of negative, venting asks, I won’t answer them) I don’t like the direction they’ve taken. I was fine with amnesia, I was great with him falling in love with her from scratch, and I was a-okay with it happening very slowly, even with lots of obstacles and pain. However, involving Selin, and some rando dude who is apparently secretly in love with Eda for years, at such a heightened level... is making it very difficult to enjoy. What they’ve had to do to numerous characters to make the Selin thing make sense is ridiculous. It’s maddening to watch her manipulate and brainwash a man with a traumatic brain injury and NO ONE recognizes it as such. It’s hard to watch such a brilliant man not be able to see through her even a little. It’s hard to enjoy anything with that going on in the background.  

So with that being said, watching the last two episodes felt a little like getting kicked in the face with a Selin shaped foot. Frankly, this fragman made me feel like we’re going to get kicked in the face a third time. While the spoilers say something is coming for her, there is really no hint in the fragmans that she’s going to get comeuppance in this episode, or even start to. (Poor Bige, good thing she’s not a Hollywood actress because I’m not sure I would ever be willing to watch her in anything again, my reaction to her as Selin is now that visceral). 

HOWEVER, the only reason I watch this show is for Serkan and Eda and to watch Hande and Kerem bring their magic together. That’s it, that’s my happy place. So while the last two episodes were hard to watch-- with the undercurrent of Selin’s crazy behavior not being recognized as such-- both episodes offered up some really great scenes of them together (though it needs to be more, much more) and that’s what I’m going to focus on. So on the BRIGHT side I do think we’re going to get some amazing and even romantic moments between Eda and Serkan in 31. 

It seems certain that the scenes on the boat when they’re alone will give us some really nice moments. The fragman makes it look very fraught and emotional, but hopefully the scenes are long and they get a chance to really talk and connect and there are lighter moments.  We know from the live, that they shot at Eda’s house, and it looks from the fragman there is a scene with them outside. That should be reminiscent of many scenes of old when he would pick her up or drop her off, and I’m hopeful they will do that justice. Then of course jealous Serkan sniffing around Deniz’s cafe will hopefully lighten things up around this joint. 

So... I’m gonna be excited for any and all scenes with Eda and Serkan that don’t also have the human praying mantis along for the ride, and for the rest... I guess I better place an order at the liquor store and stock up on human brain bleach (what do we think? Everclear?) until we can get rid of the barnacle on the ass of this show. 

Anonymous said: Do you want eda to end up with the flower ring or do you think she should get a new one? I’ve been thinking about this ever since the last engagement and now that she’s taken it off again, I’m like hmm, should they just start anew? I would of course want her engagement ring to have meaning but I wonder if they might be able to come up with something else.

We are on the EXACT same wavelength. Simpatico, my friend.  I thought the same thing when Eda asked him to marry her. Like.... hmmm... maybe this ring has the wrong kind of history to start your life together with? And look CURSED!  

So now I really think it might be best to go with a new one. Surely they can come up with something that has meaning and is not just some giant solitaire diamond, but also symbolizes a new and fresh start.  Maybe that’s what the necklace is about, retiring that ring, but still keeping it as a keepsake of how they met and fell in love?

Anonymous said: Having Serkan turn Eda’s engagement ring into a necklace that he gives her on the yacht is an interesting way for the show to go. On the one hand it means he is thinking about her and feels bad/starting to fall for her but on the other hand kind of rude too. I do not see her accepting it to be honest. She gave it back because he got engaged to Selin and they are still engaged. Seems like this next episode will be full of interesting surprises like that.

Yeah, I’m not sure what she will do. I could see it going either way to be honest.  Either she wants to hold onto it because of all it’s meant to them, or she tells him she doesn’t want that reminder of him. 

I do hope you’re right that the episode will have some more surprises... let me amend that... I hope you’re right and the episode will have some more GOOD surprises. I need Serkan to realize that the pull he feels towards Eda, regardless if he’s still hella confused and isn’t ready for anything, is reason enough to rethink his engagement to Selin. Or hell I’ll even take Serkan starting to be suspicious, or starting to see through her act. Throw us a bone, show!  This 1 step forward, 2 steps back thing they’ve started is not a recipe for success. 

Anonymous said: Am I the only one hoping that Eda says no thanks to that necklace from Serkan? I guess we are supposed to think it is sweet but it came off more like “yeah I am not giving it back to you as an engagement ring but don’t want you to lose the memories.” I need her saying “that ring meant a lot to me because the man I loved gave it to me but you are marrying someone else/do not remember me and that ring means nothing now”. Not here for the show having Eda getting excited over the scraps given to her while Serkan continues with his engagement.

If they actually had her say those words to him I would cheer.  If Eda can step around her pride and be that nakedly honest with him, it would be a very good thing indeed. 

Switching gears to last episode:

Anonymous said: i totally agree with your thoughts on ceren and eda.. like i hope they don't ruin their friendship (and i dont think they will, i think this will just be a tough period in their friendship) but at the same time, i don't really care either??? ceren and eda have butted heads before over her and ferit's relationship and honestly while her friends are great support for her, they are allowed to show conflict there as well without everyone yelling about "ruining the character"

Yes, this. It’s okay for friends to have conflicts. It also doesn’t mean all “girl power” is gone if they do have conflicts.  I’m just sad that it’s happening at a time when Eda needs friends and Fifi already left. 

And like you say, I don’t care that much. I’m here for Eda and Serkan... oh and Serkan and Eda, and that’s it (oh and Sirius, he can stay). So I’m not really invested in any other relationship, friendships or dynamics. 

Anonymous said:  I laughed at how they actually had Selin put the ring on her own finger. and I don’t think it even crossed her mind that he should’ve done it, she was too desperate to get it on! As much as I hated this “engagement”, the writers are clearly showing that he’s not very interested so I’m fine with it 😂 I was also waiting to see if they were going to spend the night together in the cabin, but then Selin came in with her suitcase and they left early? Lol

BWAH, I loved that they left early! Writers have gone out of their way to show us they don’t spend the night together. THANK YOU SHOW. One small thing they’ve done right. And to your point they’ve also gone out of their way to show how uninterested Serkan is in all of it. Unlike Selin, we’ve all seen how Serkan Bolat behaves when he’s in love and getting engaged and getting ready to be married. The difference could not be more stark. Too bad that the only two characters who don’t know how he behaves when he’s in love are Serkan and the ass barnacle.

Anonymous said: Ngl I want gag a little with Serkan giving Selin more breadcrumbs (key word lol) than before. But 1 of many things I enjoy is that Serkan has yet to try to buy Eda's shares. He expressed interest in doing so when Selin then Efe had those shares. He did suggest her moving into her grandma's old office but gave up quickly. So Serkan's cool with a stranger, who's possibly inexperienced and supposedly manipulative, being a partner in his company and taking up residence in his office? Hmmm

I loved that we got such a quick change from Robot Bolat’s you-won’t-own-these-shares-for-long attitude to you-can’t-go-on-vacation-you’re-needed-here attitude!  One of the best subtle moments from the last episode. I want more of them interacting professionally and him seeing her in action. I also want her to tell him how much she learned from him. I think that might be something he’d be interested to know. 

Speaking of, you know what I want? With his hand tremor, I hope we get a scene where he’s trying to draw something and it’s not coming out like he wants and he’s getting frustrated and she goes over there and puts her hand over his (like he’s done for her so many times) and helps him get the drawing done. 

Anonymous said: Eda was really ready to move on and forget serkan just in 2 days? He came back and lost his memory it wasn't his fault anyway but I understand that the situation with selin must be difficult for her. I just want Eda to keep fighting for him despite what he may say or do (his decisions and actions are influenced by selin so...) I don't want her to lose hope just when he is just starting to open up to her. In my opinion eda should give serkan some time.

Well... I think putting on that frilly yellow dress and forcing him into a corner with her “engagement” has nothing to do with moving on or forgetting him. That was all for him. That’s her way of fighting for him. She knows what it takes to get him to act. He needs to be in a corner and about to lose her. .  

But also I take your point. I hope that Eda’s natural pride and very understandable hurt doesn’t get in the way as Serkan starts to open up to her and gravitate to her and make moves in her direction. 

As for her talk of moving on last episode, it was premature, but Eda has said similar things many times before, her pride talking, but she never means it. She always fights for him. 

Anonymous said: There's a moment in the episode Serkan tells Engin that he love seline and that really pissed me off, because we've never heard Serkan say that before. He only lost one year of his memory and we already knew that he never loved selin so I wonder why he would say that now?

I’ve actually already answer an ask about this, but since then, I saw on twitter that some Turkish speakers confirmed that Serkan used the past tense. “I remember the woman I used to love, and that woman is Selin.”

But also, what I said right after the episode still holds. Serkan Bolat didn’t even know what love was until he met Eda Yildiz. He didn’t really believe in it, no matter what justifications he’s using now. When Serkan and Selin were together, Serkan probably though that boring milquetoast arrangement was what people meant when they talked about love. It wasn’t until he met Eda that he realized he’d never been in love.  

I predict he’s going to have the same realization one more time in the not so distant future.

Anonymous said: I am so glad you aren’t liking Deniz either! I thought I was the only one. I can’t really pin point what it is about him but there is something off. He is definitely an opportunist and is pushing Eda too hard to forget Serkan. Which totally pisses me off. Move over dude, Serkan is and always will be the love of her life. Their friends truly suck. Melo is the only smart one and good friend who is telling Eda to fight for their love. I’ll give Ferit some credit too as he is throwing some digs in at Selin as well. Everyone else is cancelled in my eyes. Do you think that maybe Selin knows Deniz and could be working with him against Serkan? I am not entirely sure but I feel like there is something more there based on the looks they shared when they met as if they knew each other before.

Oh interesting! I don’t know how that could have been arranged from the start, so I don’t think they know each other from before, but at this point I’m not putting anything past either to start working together to keep Edser apart. 

And yes, Melo is really the only non-Edser character I don’t want to slap upside the head. Ferit is better that most, but could still try harder. Oh Seyfi. He hasn’t given me reason to want to slap him upside the head either. 

As for Deniz, I’m already done with him. 

Anonymous said: Near the beginning of the series, I do remember seeing some people shipping Ferit and Melo when she started working for Selin. 😂They haven't really interacted much since but I'm also down

Let’s do this thing. What is their ship name?  Felo? Merit? Cuties?

hey! hey! why do you hate the television format??

Ah yes, thank you for reminding me

I would like to state for the record before we begin that this is my personal reasons for not enjoying the format of television and not “why television is bad'' because im sure there's many people whose reasoning for liking TV is the same as my reasons for disliking them. please dont get mad at me if you disagree lmao

I feel like the short answer could be: “I have a degree in theatre and i prefer books” 

But really i hate the fact that the story is subject to change via outside forces.

In a well written play or book, there is a beginning, middle and end. It is a complete story that has been well thought out and woven together. Every detail is important and makes sense dramaturgically. You have your characters and your plot and nothing about that changes. We’re taught in Theatre School (TM) that the playwright is the first artist, and everything goes back to the playwright’s words. The story cannot change because of outside forces and it will not change over time. Once a book has been published, it is done. And yeah in theatre, a play can be done by many people with multiple interpretations of the story but it always goes back to the playwright’s words as they are the first artist and it is about honoring those words. Yada yada. you get it.

TV is always subject to change. Actors leave because there was drama on set or because they have other projects to work on. Writers change and the tone of the show changes. Or they go to a different network and the show changes. You never know how long the show is actually going to go so it could be cancelled in the middle of an important plot they never got to wrap up or the show could extend past the original plot idea and the seasons get more and more ridiculous as they’re just trying to come up with shit to do so they can keep the show running.

Like supernatural, which went on for far too fucking long and just kept spitting out nonsense when they could have wrapped up in season five.

Like the Vampire Diaries, where the main fucking character Elena Gilbert left the show (which was ridiculous!!) or when her little brother Jeremy was just like written out of the show and then never talked about again like what the hell

Like Timeless, which got cancelled after two seasons and left so many loose ends (they had to like, beg for a movie to wrap everything up) 

Like the Magicians, which just, like, sigh. Y’all know. I don’t want to get into it. Y’all know. 

Hell, even Parks and Rec, with Ann and Chris leaving the show. If Parks and Rec had been a book Ann would have never left!!! Never!!! 

Characters get pregnant because the actors who play them get pregnant and suddenly THAT’s the plot line of the season. (Wynonna Earp, Brooklyn 99, The Office, How I Met Your Mother, Sex and The City, Bones, Friends, The Big Bang Theory, Once Upon A Time, Charmed, The Vampire Diaries, Parks and Rec, Grey’s Anatomy, The X-Files, Yes I Looked Up This List To Prove My Point)

If an actor breaks their foot then the writers have to change the plot. Everything about the story is subject to change due to outside forces and that might be a selling point for some people but i do not vibe with it!! 

And also, you’re watching the story unfold over the course of time and something could change halfway through the season and they abandon the really cool plot they were working on to suddenly set up a way for them to kill off the main character of the show. (okay apparently i do want to get into it with the magicians).

Like call me a snob but i like a concise arch! Something that the show is working towards, the story that they’re telling and the thesis of the show, and the end goal they’re working towards. I just honestly don’t like the “stories wrap up in one season and will we get another? Maybe? Okay yes we will so let’s come up with a new big bad for the characters to fight who’s got ideas” or like if you get seven seasons into a show and they’re like “And here’s my long lost sister that ive literally never mentioned before but we needed something exciting for the plot so here she is!” like i hate that shit. I know my old roommate loooooved when TV shows pulled twists like that so im not saying it’s bad writing im saying I personally hate this style of writing. 

I just keep throwing in these disclaimers so no one gets pissy at me lmao 

I think what caused me to realize and put a name to these feelings was watching the Schitt’s Creek Finale. I love Schitt’s Creek because it feels like one concise story. The characters all grow and develop and have an arch and at the natural conclusion of that arch, the story wrapped up. I loved that shit. It was a game changer for me. Any other show would have kept going and the tone of the show would have been totally different and frankly im glad they wrapped it up when they did and as they did. It was a perfect ending. 

I haven’t really watched the Good Place but I’m told similar things about it. 

Avatar the Last Airbender which we can all agree is the greatest show ever written had a clear plotline throughout the whole series and a goal they were working towards even if they did have side plots, it was all building up to one endgame. And it was stellar. 

I also recently rewatched parks and rec which is one of my favorite shows of all time and i do truly love it but like the whole point of the show originally was that they were gonna build a park and there were times in the show that they just totally forgot about that goal to work on other storylines until they were like ANN’S LEAVING WE GOTTA BREAK GROUND. That’s annoying! And once parks and rec started getting really popular and making more money they were able to be like “let’s send them to england! France! DC! Scotland! San Francisco! Let’s bring in Michelle Obama and Joe Biden and John McCain and Madeleine Albright! Which like all of that was really cool and some of the best parts of the series but also just another example of how the show changed over time as they got more name recognition and money. 

Also lmao i just had the thought that it doesn't really matter what community did because the point of that show was to be batshit and they succeeded spectacularly. What a good time. Just had to add that in there. 

So yeah that’s why i hate the television format because everything is subject to change from the plot to the tone to the writing to the characters and a lot of times there isn’t a clear narrative arch as they’re just coming up with nonsense to keep the show going and i just don’t vibe with that. 

So if i hate the television format why do i still watch it, you ask? You never shut about tv shows on your blog and yet here you are declaring that you hate them. What’s up with that. Well, the answer is simple. I have major FOMO. Also lmao quite honestly i just recently came to these conclusions and put words to these feelings during the quarantine so after 23 years of being pissy at tv shows all the time i honestly probably will watch less of it. I probably wont stop completely tho. Ive already said that im not gonna watch tv shows with queer characters until the show is over and its been confirmed for me that the show treats its queer characters and viewers with respect and dignity and i stand by that. (It’s the only reason why ive started to watch black sails.) im for sure never watching another cw show again. I have literally never finished a CW show because something has happened in it halfway through that pissed me off so much i never finished the series

So that’s my opinion does anyone also feel the same way? I feel like im crazy

Have you gotten Yamcha for the ask game yet? Or Tien? 😊

i have received Neither Chaps !!! So I will now do them both :) Pause on that :) gonna put this under a Read More since This Will Be Long <3

Yamcha:

Give Me A Character and I Will Answer:

Why I like them:

Uhhhh A Lot Of Reasons. Like. A lot. BUT I will be brief and say I like him because as a kid I always thought he looked cool and I always thought his first fight with Goku was radical. With My Big Man Brain Now I love him for just how sincere of a guy he is? And how loving and friendly and supportive? And I make fun of him for it but the wolf aesthetic genuinely is really cool- not to mention how he loves to change up his outfits and hairstyles!

Why I don’t:

I have no reason to hate this man. Like none exists. In The Most Platonic Way Ever he’s literally the perfect man and I would take him home to meet my mom and even then she would be happy with me dating a man if it was Yamcha Dragon Ball.

Favorite episode (scene if movie):

I have so many favorite Yamcha moments and ergo episodes good god help me BUT I will name ONE off the top of my head so I’m not stuck here forever and I really love the baseball scene in Z for Many Reasons it’s just so good it plays on loop in my brain 24/7 so I Will Say episode 10 of DBZ :)

Favorite season/movie:

The Tien Saga.... legendary.... yes he did get his leg broken but everything before AND after that??? Immaculate. Perfect. Astounding. No The Tien Saga Is Not Therapy But I Will Use It As Such

Favorite line:

Anything Yamcha says is music to my ears and is pure gold, and aside from The Iconic “Looking good, Tien!” quote from Budokai 3, I gotta say my actual favorite quote??

“No big deal. Bones heal, just like everything else.” -Yamcha to Tien in reference to his broken leg after the 22nd World Tournament

Like. It’s SUCH a simple line but it’s SO telling of Yamcha’s character?? Tien literally broke his leg with no concern of the long-lasting effects of doing so, not to mention his dickish behavior beforehand towards Yamcha beforehand. So for Yamcha to just be ready to forgive him at the drop of a hat when he sees Tien’s seem sincerely apologetic? Dude no one talk to me I’m going to write an essay again.

Favorite outfit:

I Mean This In The Most Platonic Way Part II but Yamcha can make Literally Any outfit and hairstyle look good it should be illegal. However I am legally required to choose One (1) outfit and at this point we should all know how much I adore the desert bandit fit of his. It’s just such a classic and cute look to him (not to mention The Sword <3)

OTP:

Oh You Know :) but if you don’t it’s Yamcha and Tien- even as just Friends They’re So Good I’m Going To Write An Essay like god I want what they have so badly.

Brotp:

I love his relationship with Puar, like I genuinely would love a small arc dedicated to how they even became friends in the first place since their origin together is so mysterious yet intriguing? But aside from The Obvious answer I love his brotherly relationship with Goku and Krillin! Unfortunately that relationship wanes as they all get older but I’ll always cherish the moments where he radiated such Big Bro energy.

Head Canon:

I’ve got a dumb amount of headcanons it’s terrible BUT I think my favorite headcanon is that Yamcha’s leg never properly heals after the 22nd Tournament.

Unpopular opinion:

I. Have a lot. Of unpopular opinions. Just genuinely loving Yamcha’s an unpopular opinion in of itself BUT One of my unpopular opinions is that Yamcha’s a flirt, a cheater, and promiscuous. If he’s ever portrayed as a flirt towards women, I can give it the smallest pass in the world that he’s trying to cope but even then that’s such a stretch in my opinion- and I guess this is on top of being a headcanon but Frankly I don’t think Yamcha’s ever even kissed anyone- he’s playing the long game everyone he’ll get his kiss on his wedding day btw that’s like. Partially a joke; I joke around a lot that Yamcha’s Super dedicated to the whole Nothing Until Marriage idea lmao.

A wish:

For the love of God Yamcha pack up your shit and Puar and just move in with Tien your apartment’s shit.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen:

Honestly? I kind of don’t want Yamcha to get a girlfriend? But I also DO because he wants that the most in life and it’d be great to see SOMETHING nice happen to him!

My only gripe with him getting a girlfriend (and hopefully then a wife) would be that his girlfriend wouldn’t be that well defined of a character and she’d just be said in Passing Mentions.

5 words to best describe them:

Perfect, immaculate, loyal, courageous, lovely 

My nickname for them:

Furry, Dumpy, and Wolfie!

Tien

Give Me A Character and I Will Answer:

Why I like them:

Again I Have A Lot Of Reasons BUT I love how like. Deceiving he is as a character. Like ask anyone and 90% of the time people will say Tien’s smart and serious and No Bullshit but no he is exactly the opposite he’s dumb as shit in any department outside of farming and fighting and he’s such a lil’ jackass when breathing next to Yamcha. 

Sincerely though, I absolutely love his character development- it’s one of my favorite arcs in Dragon Ball to be honest but That’s An Essay For Another Time. I also love how funny he can be, intentionally or not, and he’s surprisingly really relatable at times? And just his dedication to fighting’s really neat too; at this point he MUST know he can never be stronger than Goku but he still tries nevertheless and that’s really indicative of his bullheaded personality.

Why I don’t:

You could not pay me to dislike him I’d sell my kidneys for Tenshinhan.

Favorite episode (scene if movie):

Any episode from the gang’s escapades on King Kai’s planet good lord save me. That’s where Tien’s existence shines the best it’s so good.

Favorite season/movie:

His own saga man like. As much as I LOVE Redeemed Tenshinhan I also love how much of a jackass he was like why was he like that LMAO

Favorite line:

Again, aside from The Iconic x2 “Looking good, Yamcha!” quote, I gotta say it’s:

“Yes... sir! <3″ -Tien preparing to strike Goku with the volleyball fist during the 22nd World Tournament.

Also “I left Chiaotzu and Yamcha behind. This seems too dangerous for them.” -Tien to Gohan during the Resurrection F saga

Favorite outfit:

Like Yamcha, Tien’s outfits always hit. Not a SINGLE one misses. BUT I gotta say I love his classic tits-out look- more so for the fact I like how he shows off his scar as a kind of way to say he’s moved on from the Crane School like Damn Son you love to see it :,) Deep reasons aside, my second-favorite outfit’s got to be the Buu Saga listen man everyone just had the Hottest outfits in the Buu Saga you can’t blame me.

OTP:

Oh You Know :)

Brotp:

Tien has Two (2) friends in his life man the pool’s small but even if it WAS larger I would say Chiaotzu anyway LMAO. Love them dudes man.

Head Canon:

Tien is just. Terribly academically and socially stupid. The Social Ineptitude isn’t even a headcanon that’s just fact but when I said he’s stupid in every department But Fighting And Farming I meant it. Flirting with Tien is a nightmare. If you’re not Yamcha or Chiaotzu joking with him is a headache. He’s only smart in the vocabulary department other than that he couldn’t tell you how many planets are in the solar system. He’s dumb as rocks but is smart enough to convince everyone around him he’s smart because he knows what picayune means.

Unpopular opinion:

I have nothing but love and respect for Krillin, but it makes like. No sense to insist Krillin’s the strongest human on earth. Tien does not go hard on that grind 24/7 just for everyone- writers included- to reduce him to such trash when fighting. But why pit two kings against each other you know?

A wish:

Please just give him one good sexy fight that’s all I’m asking for. Also Tien PLEASE use the solar flare you dumb motherfucker YOU INVENTED IT??? Actually all of my wishes are fighting related but yeah Tien for God’s Sake acknowledge how crazy your move kit is and fuck it UP MY GUY.

An oh-god-please-dont-ever-happen:

Tien please don’t get a random wife I fortunately cannot see that happening but for the love of God Toei if you make that happen I will actually commit arson. Any other fear I could have either has come true or cannot happen.

5 words to best describe them:

Deceivingly smart dumbass I love

My nickname for them:

Headass, Slap Head, My Man/s, Bald Motherfucker, Polyphemus Headass (I know Polyphemus is a cyclops but shush), Four Arms, Machamp, Stitch, Roach, King, and Ikea Dresser

Im asking this genuinely so pls dont yell at me; when you say that those using trigger warnings dont care about their readers’ mental health and wellbeing, what else are trigger warnings supposed to be for? To make sure people don’t enter fics that have material that would harm them. Just like tv shows that warn about nudity or violence or what have you. Its a rating system, theyre warnings. Tagging for rape or underage ARE the looking-out-for-readers thing. Past that, it is on readers to decide

I try not to yell at anyone engaging in good faith, I know it doesn’t always seem that way, but I would rather be engaged with than ignored...the latter is when my volume goes up, lol.

But in answer to your question, it comes down to the fact that trigger warnings are well established enough in fandom by now, that they exist as a kind of social contract.

In short, its EXPECTED that you provide trigger warnings, and that if you don’t have them, someone will bring that up at some point.

Problem is, this counter-productively works against what trigger warnings are actually FOR.....once we reach a point (which we’ve long since reached)....where a lot of people are only including the trigger warnings because of the social contract that expects them to have them, and not ACTUALLY because they’re prioritizing their readers’ well-being.

Something I see a LOT after trigger warnings is the phrase or sentiment “enter at your own risk”....and the phrasings are so, so key to what I’m talking about. 

Take a small sampling and just look for what I’m describing and I’m fairly certain you won’t have to go far to find an example of a fic where the tone of the author is not one of concern for readers, but preemptive concern for potential backlash from readers.

And these are two very different things.

Like, we all know how to read and interpret tone and nuance. Its genuinely not that hard to tell the difference between a sincere expression of wanting readers to be aware of potentially triggering content, and a faux-expression of that when really, the only thing you’re worried about triggering is a negative reception from people, and you want to get ahead of that by making it clear from the get go that hey, you did your job, you warned readers, and thus nobody has any grounds to say anything about your content itself.

Because also too there’s the fact that trigger warnings are inherently fallible. They rely on the author’s own AWARENESS of their content and everything it might include......but a racist author isn’t going to place a trigger warning for using their characters as mouthpieces for even blatant white supremacist ideology. 

A genuinely predatory author (and yes, they absolutely do exist, and its willful stubbornness that people rely on to pretend that like, for some bizarre reason, only genuinely predatory people don’t partake in this otherwise global hobby of reading and writing fiction, like what even is that, how do you arrive at that conclusion, that like, actual pedophiles are so busy preying on ‘real life’ teenagers in their zip code 24/7 that they just don’t have TIME to go online and cultivate predatory relationships with real life teenagers via social media? That doesn’t make any sense!)

But anyway, a genuinely predatory author, is absolutely NOT going to tag or place trigger warnings for pedophilia, etc....because they don’t WANT the things they write perceived that way.

People trying to normalize incest are not always going to tag for incest because they want to DISTANCE the cute, sweet dynamic between two ‘only sorta brothers’ as other than the kind of incest that destroys families...regardless of the reality that most cases of incest are the LATTER and its the FORMER that’s so rare it barely exists. 

And that sort of thing is how we get terms like dub-con and pseudo-incest and ‘consensual underage sex’ when its describing a relationship between a minor and adult....because this is mitigating, distancing language. Its entire reason for existing is to make unpalatable content seem more palatable.

And especially in Batfandom, we KNOW this.

Because we all, practically universally, give Devin Grayson crap for describing the rape in Nightwing #93 as ‘nonconsensual sex’ and go.....THATS NOT A THING!

And then half of fandom turns around and....acts like that and similar stuff...IS A THING.

That doesn’t work! LOL. It just...doesn’t.

Or another example, because abuse can be just as triggering as rape.....like, for me, personally, I’m a survivor of both, and yes, both CAN be triggering. But not as much as people might think....like, just reading a depiction of these things doesn’t trigger me.

Its, like you were saying at the get go, yes, a matter of surprise.....the kind of thing that CAN be warned for, and prepared for, and its the sheer unexpectedness that’s usually the trigger. 

Like.....I went off a few weeks ago about reading a story that was supposed to be about Dick’s brothers learning the truth about what led him to take the Spyral mission and what happened in Forever Evil. That’s what the summary said, that was it, that was the only thing it led me to expect about the story. So understandably, I go into the story expecting it to be sympathetic to Dick. I’m looking for catharsis from it honestly, a salve for the many fics and canon events that blamed and punished him for something I don’t consider his fault, right?

And then towards the end....I get Jason punching Dick again, before hugging him, because that’s just how he reluctantly shows love or whatever.

This genuinely triggered me, yeah. Its why I got so upset about it. Because I was blindsided, I had no way to prepare for it, because I went in expecting catharsis for a story that bothered me due to its victim blaming, and instead I got the author heaping on more of the same abuse we already saw in canon.....with zero awareness that’s what she was doing. 

So....that’s absolutely something I wrestled with should I message the author and ask them to add a trigger warning or not? Because I genuinely could have used one. It would have helped. I would have avoided that story if I had any notion that might crop up in it, because frankly, that’s not something I had any interest in reading.

But problem is, there’s only really two realistic outcomes there. If she was open to hearing a genuine request for her to be aware that her content contained triggering material for a reader....chances are, she probably would have just edited it and taken that out entirely. It was just one line. Easy enough to do. It certainly didn’t add anything.

Problem is....there’s an equal and opposite likely outcome....that she’d get defensive, call this unsolicited criticism, and double down on the idea that what she had written wasn’t abuse, because obviously she doesn’t condone abuse, so she wouldn’t have written that plain and simple. It has to be acknowledged that a lot of authors ARE innately defensive about social content in their work, and not open to hearing they’ve done something offensive or triggering....because that’s like...literally the basis of the ‘no unsolicited criticism’ movement in fandom, even though being critical of toxic ideology expressed in content is NOT the same as offering criticism of someone’s writing in general. 

So you see what I mean? A trigger warning COULD genuinely help in that situation....but our fandom environment simply flat out is not conducive for readers to be at all confident that they even CAN come forward and alert an author that they delved into an offensive, even harmful take with their content and be well received no matter HOW they phrase it....

For much the same reasons I mentioned in that other post. People are more likely to instinctively jump to the defense of the person WRITING the content that offended or did actual emotional harm....than the person simply trying to say, backed by their own lived experience of....being offended or experiencing emotional harm....hey, this is a problem for me and I would appreciate it being regarded as such....

Otherwise, what is even the POINT of this entire system of trigger warnings in the first place? If a problem for a reader isn’t regarded as worthy of attention in and of itself.....at least, not in comparison to whatever problem that READER’S problem creates for the WRITER.

You see what I’m saying? For this, and a lot of other reasons, trigger warnings are innately fallible. They rely on an honor code system, and the uncomfortable truth is none of us are actually naive enough to believe everyone in fandom is innately honorable enough to honor that....if they were, would we have as much cases of anon hate, spite fics, etc?

But fandom as a whole looked at the trigger warning system and decided well....its good enough. Because its not like I’m proposing a viable alternative, its not like I have a BETTER system in mind, offhand. All I do have is the point that well...no...its NOT good enough as is....because for a ton of reasons, there’s a ton of cases in which there’s a ton of people for which it flat out doesn’t work for or benefit at all.

But when this comes up to any degree, in any capacity whatsoever....and the only thing people fall back on is well, I tagged it, or I used trigger warnings what more do you want, or its good enough for me so that’s what matters, or just....

“I did what I was supposed to per the social contract about trigger warnings, so if anything goes wrong in your reading experience at this point, that’s entirely on you.”

Like, does that make sense?

Basically, there’s a world of difference between:

This is a problem that still needs solving because the solution provided now is not all-encompassing or inclusive....

And....

This is a problem that’s already been solved as far as I’m concerned, and I’m utilizing that solution so any further problems are just in the mind of the reader and have nothing to do with reality, let alone me and my work.

Again, as I said above....its the difference between genuinely engaging with other members of your fandom community with actual concern for THEIR fandom experience.....or faking engagement with other members of your fandom community when your only real concern is YOUR fandom experience, and at most, the experiences of anyone who already is of like minds to you on a subject.

Hopefully that answers your question or clarifies my stance there, anon. And thank you for actually engaging on this. It feels a bit like shouting into the void a lot of the time, lol.

Would you be able to go into the katya stuff if you dont mind ?? Im not sure if its being released after this so im just curious what exactly happened

Okay so clearly after all of the speculation and hostility in the fandom recently, some people are interested to learn how exactly Trixie Mattel: Moving Parts portrays Katya. I was at the premiere at Tribeca, and I’m happy to give you a brief overview of what was shown and my opinions on it.

FROM THIS POINT ON THERE ARE SPOILERS FOR TRIXIE MATTEL: MOVING PARTS! SCROLL PAST NOW IF YOU DON’T WANT ANY SPOILERS!

So while this is a film about Brian Firkus, the lynchpin of the whole film (the underpinning that holds the story together) is really Trixie & Katya’s relationship. Which is perfectly reasonable! They are a huge part of each other’s lives, and they just happened to be filming this documentary while all of Katya’s health issues were going on. To completely strike what happened from the record would, frankly, probably mean they couldn’t use a lot of the footage they had- to the point where I really think it could’ve scrapped whole chunks of the movie.

One of the first things they show in the film is Katya gifting Trixie with dolls that look like the two of them; it really portrays their friendship in a lovely light. Trixie also talks about how much she loves Katya and loves working with her, and about how everyone got to see their friendship develop over the course of filming UNHhhh. For those of us who know what’s coming, this obviously produces a lot of anxiety. But I have to tell you: that is just good filmmaking. To create a level of suspense like that is almost Greek Tragedy-eqsue with its dramatic irony.

The next part I’m going to talk about is one of the parts everyone is worried about: Katya’s last day on set at the Trixie & Katya Show. You can tell she’s unwell; she has a very short temper and very little patience for anything happening around her. But she also says “What I need is to quit, but she [Trixie] is my friend and I won’t do that to her.” Even though Katya is clearly unwell, the perspective of the film also paints her as sympathetic. Trixie’s reactions to what’s happening really does indicate that Katya is not in her right mind, and it’s not her fault. Obviously it hurt Trixie, for multiple reasons: one of her best friends is unwell, it seems like an important relationship in her life- and we learn that she doesn’t have a lot of them- is unraveling, and in addition to that, what’s happening could potentially permanently damage her career. The fact that she handles all of those issues with such humility and grace, while still trying to be understanding towards and a good friend to Katya really, REALLY speaks to her character.

The part that is most unflattering to Katya are the text messages she sends to Trixie after the premiere of All Stars 3. She says some incredibly nasty things about Trixie. She is downright mean. For those of us who know Katya though, that is just a clear indicator of how sick she was. I think we all know Katya in her right mind would not send someone- let alone one of her best friends- messages like that. But yeah, I can see how someone might feel hostile towards Katya after seeing what she did. But again, this is a thing that happened. It’s not made up for the sake of the film, and it’s not anyone slandering Katya’s name; it’s a real thing that really happened, and the only difference is that now you know about it. And again, I would like to remind everyone that this is a film about Trixie, not about Katya. So while you do walk away from the scene feeling sad for Katya (because obviously no one wants her to be unravelling like that), you mainly feel bad for Trixie. She clearly doesn’t deserve any of the ire Katya is throwing at her, as we’ve seen her trying to be a good friend. And that is what is expected! This is a film about Trixie, you know? Of course she’s the protagonist!

Overall, through the whole arc of the film that focuses on the dissolution of Trixie & Katya’s friendship the theme is really that Trixie wishes Katya was better, because she misses her friend. That’s the take away. Not that Katya is evil or anything, but that Trixie misses her friend. So do I think the film portrays Katya in a negative light? No. I think it shows the things she did- and they were not good things by any means- but, 1. It doesn’t blame her for her mental illness or addiction, and 2. It isn’t focused on the things that Katya did, but the way that it affected Trixie.

By the end of the film, we see that Trixie and Katya are friends again. It shows them having some funny- and at times tender- interactions backstage at Trixie’s LA Moving Parts show. Katya mentions that she’s better now, and we wrap up the film with Trixie & Katya back together again, and ready to take on the world. In terms of the storyline, it does feel like there’s a bit missing, because it goes from Trixie & Katya not being friends- and the uncertainty in the air over that- to suddenly they’re friends again with no explanation. From a story standpoint, I wish they would’ve included something about how they started on the road to recovering their friendship, rather than just jumping to it recovered.

Personally, I think the reason some fans are so freaked out about the way Katya is portrayed in the film is because they hold her up as this beacon of perfection. She’s mentally ill, but she’s still so funny and personable. She’s an addict, but she doesn’t appear to struggle- or if she does, she turns it into comedy. I think she’s what a lot of people who view themselves as broken hope they can be. But she’s not perfect. She is capable of hurting people. She’s capable of making horrible decisions, and getting sick, and relapsing, and ruining friendships, and honestly that is just the reality of it. We’re all capable of things like that! But you don’t love Katya because she’s perfect, you love her because she’s real. So if you’re angry in the name of your love for her that her reality is being shown, it’s possible that you love the idea of Katya, and you love what she represents, but you might not love the man himself. Just some food for thought.

Can you imagine if Katya heard everyone freaking out about the film portraying her in a bad light? The kind of pressure that’d put on her, to feel like her fans will only like her or support her provided she doesn’t slip up? Certainly that is not conducive to being supportive of her. Personally, I think holding celebrities to a level of perfection is just unfair. I think we as a fandom need to accept that sometimes Katya may not be well, and sometimes she might make mistakes, and it’s okay to acknowledge the things that have happened, and to still continue to love her.

One thing I can tell you for certain is that Trixie is NOT exploiting or taking advantage of Katya. From a purely legal standpoint, the filmmakers would have had to get Katya’s written consent to have her in the film. Katya quite literally would have had to sign off on it. Additionally, Trixie said that Katya had already seen the film. Katya was already aware of what was going to be shown. People seem to forget that Katya is a grown-ass man with autonomy, and that it wouldn’t have gone ahead without her foreknowledge. And after watching the film, I can say with certainty that Trixie absolutely wouldn’t have kept in anything that Katya didn’t okay; she’s too good and too thoughtful of a person to do something like that.

Another major thing people are forgetting, it seems, is that this is not a movie about Katya! This is about Trixie! There is a part in the movie where she says something along the lines of: “No one will want me without Katya.” It absolutely breaks my heart to think that Trixie has no idea how much we love her on her own, how much she means to us, how funny and talented she is by herself, and how much worth she has by herself. And the fact that all anyone wants to talk about is Katya- regarding Trixie’s movie- really irks me. Because she’s basically being proven right.

My last big point I’d like to make is directly related to something Trixie says in the film. She talks about how she gave all of those vague answers about Katya because it wasn’t her story to share, and she didn’t want to make the issue about herself when it clearly wasn’t. She points out that other queens were like, “we all struggle with things! Personally, I’ve dealt with [blank]!” And while the other queens were trying to demonstrate that Katya wasn’t alone, what they were really doing was making it about themselves. I can’t help but see a parallel in the fans that are angry over Katya’s portrayal in this film; the issue is about Katya, and Katya is clearly fine with it, so when you’re freaking out over it, aren’t you really just making it about yourself?

So, there are a plethora of reasons I think people should stop sending hate Trixie’s way because of this movie:

1. This is Trixie’s story. This is really what happened over the past year. To cut half of it out would be doing a disservice to Trixie and to the filmmakers.

2. The filmmakers had final say. They shot all the footage and edited it all together. Trixie really had no part in the creation of this movie aside from being the subject of it, and it’s not fair to throw hate her way for something she had very little control over; that’s like being mad at an actor for a decision the showrunners made.

3. To cut out the parts where Katya is unwell would be a disservice to Katya, because it says “we only want you when you’re perfect.”

4. Maybe someone who is struggling with addiction or who has a loved one struggling with addiction needs to see something like this! No one is being helped by just sweeping all the ugly parts under the rug.

5. Both of them have seen the movie, knew what was going to be shown, and were clearly okay with it because it went ahead and made the final cut.

6. It’s not anyone else’s business how either Trixie or Katya live their lives, or what they choose to share with their public.

7. Katya is not painted as some kind of monster. She’s painted as someone who is mentally unwell, sometimes sympathetic, sometimes not, but ultimately as a flawed human being, who does in fact get a redemption arc!

8. This is a movie about Trixie, not about Katya, and I think people need to respect that and stop shifting the focus.

In conclusion, what I walked away from this movie with was that, yes, it was very sad and at times disturbing to see Katya so hurt and broken. But more than anything, I walked away with an appreciation for Brian Firkus. For how selfless, and caring, and giving, and hardworking the man behind Trixie is. If you get a chance to see Trixie Mattel: Moving Parts I highly recommend you do so; I hope you’ll be just as in awe of Trixie as I am.

Some quick observations re: TROS and some "reylo"musings (spoilers)

- the editing removed A LOT of emotional pay-offs for so many scenes. The decorations and actors change quickly, a bit randomly - in fact it takes a while before this movie finds its tempo and footing. Something weighty happens and no reflection is allowed even in briefest sketch of a reaction. Next scene. Next scene-

- Poe, Finn, Rose and two new female characters were absolutely robbed. Both by the ungodly pace of this movie (there is much potential for scenes that could mean much much more in the whole storyline. As is, they are discarded as soon as they happen). The bond between Finn and Poe got severed in the beginning with some awkward finnrey moments and strange jealousy (was that what it was???) from Poe. I say either carry out the finnrey thread (which was also beautiful actually, though Finn deserves so much better than how she treats him in TROS...) or finnpoe, something which JJ himself built up. Rose should be given an independent arc with no romance involved, or a love interest of her own.

- Rose's infatuation with Finn is never touched. Rose herself is absolutely erased - she is a statist, providing some dialogue with absolutely no weight behind it. JJ treated her terribly - it was his privilege and responsibility to utilize whatever he got from Johnson as he saw fit; but throwing away her potential only underlines the racist sidelining he did to all characters of colour.

- the heteronormativity I can't understand - Finn and Poe are JJs babies after all (and yeah, I know - shareholders...). Why tease hetero relationships for both and STILL leave even them hanging?? Like, he discarded Rose bc first of all racism, second - Johnson's 'leftovers' I guess? Unacceptable. The lady of Poe's was sketched boldly - but still sketched. Her inclusion wouldn't feel so random if Poe wasn't shown to be this randomly emotional abt her all of a sudden. Why now? It felt a bit forced and this is a shame bc she (and Janah, omg Janah...) is super cool. I'd love to read and see way more about all of them.

- Finn and Janah - wonderful rapport, so much empathy and loyalty, they are wonderful together. I definitely could see them together as well - so many threads to explore! There was so much potential to embed meaningful relationships for Finn into the plot. Janah is one of those that felt quite right but deserved more still. She deserves a story of her own. Not for the first time it is a secondary character of colour who carries so much potential and substance and gets sidelined. I dont mind Kylo content btw - but this series was shown to concentrate on 3 people and a villain. Keep to this proportion or perish I say. They didnt keep them and the movie feels unfairly skewed towards the force dyad of Rey and Ren. Hence, robbed. We were robbed of much of quality content here.

- the implication/suggestion that Finn may be Force sensitive held so much promise. I love Finn and Boyega played him with so much passion and dignity. He grew into leadership without pretense or drama, was competent and knowledgeable about the inner workings of the Fleet and found hope he was struggling for. Honestly the problem here is that his prominence was teased to be greater than the actual time and the weight of scenes he was given. This movie should be longer, scene order less abrupt and random - so the characters that were shown to matter in the first part could matter here as well.

- JEDI FINN please. The potential of it was teased - they should scrap some of the scenes and build those kinds of plot points more thoroughly. Finn's arc should be more - but that doesn't mean Boyega played it any other than magnificently. He got what he was given and made it his. I hate that this still means it was not as much as he and Poe deserved it. Same with Rose.

- galactic generals (*husbands) Poe and Finn. It could be marriage, it should be - Isaac played a man in love. I enjoyed this new romantic angle with the spice smuggler lady as well - but it required more buildup. As it was, it made for an awkward and frankly homophobic ersatz for finnpoe plotline of the first and even second movie. I hate wasting the potential of new characters in the movie, and this is what happened here. Also Poe's smuggling past - no previous setup that felt offensive to many bc of its randomness and no previous grounds in existing media. Felt like unnecessary sensationalism here.

- Rey is complicated here. I didnt like her attitude towards Finn and wished for more appreciation of their own idiosyncracies between them. Finn deserved his love (whether romantic or platonic) to be recognized. It was lacking here.

- I loved the fight scenes, the dialogues with Ren that should begin in TFA if they wished for the romance to be acceptably wet up. Driver is so fucking physical and huge, a bit awkward and very strong. To me it was attractive - but to me Kylo always lacked the threat in him when it came to Rey; I know this isnt so for others and respect that.

- Choreography is super effective here, the body work of Rey and Ren is wonderful.

- lighting, the sith locations were one of my favourites

- the creatures - while in the background, theybwere lovely. They made for lusher world out there.

- Palps was eh. Needed for the ending setup, ultimately fell a bit flat. The twist re his endgame would feel better if the whole scene didnt play this fucking quickly.

- the death (you know whose...) is quick and abrupt, passing fleetingly with no real depth or importance. They are rushing to another scene so quickly they forget that if you love somebody enough to accept them fully, this person's death tends to leave some kind of impression. As it is, Rey is hardly the first character robbed of emotional engagement in TROS.

- sigh. Ren. I love to hate him and hate to enjoy him still. Also feeling like a hypocrite bc would I enjoy him if not for my prefernce for how Driver looks like? Would anyone who I respect a bit more than his most fanatical reylo fans? I have no answer really.

I've never seen a character ripped into shreds from so many angles. For incels and dudebros he is a pussy (a lot of girls I know also mentioned that). He is supposedly not cruel enough, not awesome like Vader, whatever.

For others he is a genocidal criminal, and that he is. You can't sidestep Tuanul or his passivity in front of Star Destroyer wiping out whole planets. He is implicated in this genocide - and that scene where he is supposedly mutely watching it from the distance falls flat if its intention was to show he wasn't entirely behind Hux's agenda. He still never stopped him. So yeah, it is obvious that for many he is absolutely undeserving of any empathy, much less a romance plotline with movie's heroine. Especially when the first scenes setting it up were so messed up.

Now I hate the word reylo and I'd rather choke than call myself that. But I did enjoy their enmity and idk love?? towards each other? It should be plotted more consequently and I believe if JJ didn't muck it in tfa people would be a lot less opposed to the whole villain x heroine thing. Nobody opposes it bc of that - it's the torture bed and it's the "whatever I want" line that made so many recoil. It's the absolute lack of coherence at a time where more self awareness was needed from the director of the very first part in the series.

I believe there is a kind of generational divide on topic of their romance. Youve got gen z "antis" who argue about the abuse (and have a lot of good point more reylos should think hard and long about) - and mostly adult to older women (this includes older milennials also!) who grew up steeped in gothic romanticism that, up to gen z growing up, was a dominant romance paradigm in the West.

Youve got your Wuthering Hills, your Pride and Prejudice and Beauty and the Beast. I hate it. I absolutely abhor it, and the more the reylo fandom hammered their whole relationship from this angle, the more I was distancing myself. I believe the whole genre is steeped in toxic masculinity and yes, you can look at reylo from this angle as well - and I understand that when you saw those scenes from TFA, and didn't feel convinced by entirely paradoxal romance teasers (bc JJ mixed them both in equal measure, and thus killed wide enthusiasm for reylo for good) then what happened in TLJ and TROS must look like the embracing toxic hetero romance in entirety. And to some degree it is - entirely by JJs fault. The other elements that you mightve ignored in tfa suddenly get amplified in tlj, in tros and youre left wondering why the hell Kylo Ren could ever be seen as romanceable?

But the thing is, while the analogy of angry white male pursuing a pure young woman seems fitting, it doesnt work for me here. I also acknowledge that it may be in part bc I'm used to the gothic paradigm, attracted to Driver as Ren and feeling safe and assured that Rey would stay herself despite whatever he wanted from her (and she did in my opinion, she never caved even when she loved him). Kylo is white, and he is aggressive - he is a villain, he tortures and hurts Poe and Finn and plays psychological games with Rey, he shouts a lot and is very physical, which in itself looks threatening.

All those could end up somewhat accepted bc he is a villain - people will accept the consequent villain, or paradoxical one done with self- awareness on side of their creator. JJ was absolutely unaware of what a mess he did I bet - the worst elements that crossed "reylo" off the list for so many people I'd argue were first sown by JJ himself in paradoxical chase of I tease this-now I don't. Here's what I mean.

It was JJ who put Rey on that horizontal torture bed, even when Poe's was upright. It was JJ who had Ren say those gross words abt taking what he wanted. It was also JJ who irreaponsibly and paradoxically played with symbolism normally reserved for gothic princes DESPITE the gross elements he himself planted - the mask going off to reveal a goofy Disney prince, the crouching so as not to scare her, the freaking bridal carry, the humanizing via showing Ren's vulnerability. I actually hated some of those scenes - I loved the face reveal no lie, but what followed was unacceptable. Why style your villain this lush and vulnerable when you're shooting your own foot a few minutes after, with dialogue that had whole groups of young women discard him as trash? Why not polish your villain with more self awareness so that the ground for the romance is understood and cautiously accapted?

So youve got an internally cracked TFA that for some was obviously teasing reylo but for others made it unacceptable forever. This is one hell of a difficult mix to continue with and I believe if JJ was given the 2nd part to work with, perhaps he might be able to somehow work with Ren so that TLJ wouldnt feel like slap to the face to those who saw mostly the worst parts of Ren that JJ himself designed. Perhaps he would also polish the romance teasers or got rid of them altogether, idk. TROS shows that while he was eager to discard anything that Johnson had put into motion, he chose to leave reylo content still. This is really paradoxical to me, today as it was back then.

Now reylo isnt super mainstream - if he got rid of it, it would surely anger a lot of people but also satisfy an equal amount of others. Yet he chose not to and I'd argue it is because he planned for reylo to happen from the beginning, just in a shitty way we first witnessed in the worst scenes of TFA.

I'll also argue another point - if Johnson was given the saga from the beginning, reylo wouldnt be nearly as much hated and regarded as abusive for so many. It is this particular humanization of Kylo that was criticized by so many that would protect the 1st part from that torture bed, and from taking whatever Kylo wanted. As it was, when all this sudden humanity followed JJs paradoxical mess, only opposition could come bc it kind of must - it looked for many as woobifying somebody who was already irredeemable. The irony is that JJ probably never planned for this - maybe he thought he could pull this off, somehow work out the agreement between ugly Kylo and Kylo worthy of Rey. Johnson just put a fat line between TFA and his own vision, and irresponsibly ignored all the ugly heritage that should be better worked on if he ever hoped to rectify JJs paradoxes. He didnt do this and thus the mess.

I dont know if it would ever be possible though. Perhaps theres been a shift in ethics, in aesthetics even, so big that for the gen Z this kind of relationship is unacceptable. I dont see anything bad in this - even if I enjoyed a lot of reylo's potential, there will be better content, better romances done by those kids who despise reylo now as well. Meanwhile I plan to stay on this weird pole stuck deep into my ass between reylo enthusiast and haters bc I cant for shit choose a side fully.

Bc I dont see the abuse this clear cut - but am also unsure how much of it is my cultural baggage, the history of normalizing toxic masculinity etc. I bet it's both to some degree, like with all gothic romance genre, - and that there wouldnt be this whole rift at the heart of tfa without toxic masculinity normalization at all. Without it there would be no torture bed and no threats. And the irony is that Johnson would probably see to that better. But not as good as a woman behind the camera to begin with - if you want a heroine at its heart that is.

Like, you can see JJs initial vision as pretty homogenous - the bed, the words, and ignore all the paradoxical romance symbolism in there. You can also look at it as fractured and absolutely lacking coherence, and fish for the elements youd like to stay in next parts. I welcomed Johnson bc he took the best in Kylo and left JJs mess behind. This is also the very reason youre gonna hate the TLJ if TFA felt coherent for you. Bc you cant ignore that which felt threatening and cruel and very much obvious.

I have no easy recipe at dealing with this saga. I cant throw my weight behind reylo fully, ever, but will cautiously accept the potential it could have should it be more coherently written. I love so much of art and those fics that are in line with my wishes towards how Ren should be done from.the beginning.

When I was considering what to.think abt all that, back in the beginning, I didnt want for Rey to cater to emotional demands and baggage of an aggressive male, and I believe she actually doesnt - time and time again she asserts herself, maybe messily but she has the right to her anger and pain so the messy it has to be. She is shown to hope for him becoming better - and isnt manipulated or groomed to do so, and if loneliness was the only reason to stick to him then any other person would suffice, which isnt the case. She is loyal to the cause to the end and happily carries on despite Ren dying, even if it's clear she loved him. She is her own woman and the magnitude of his emotions, the physicality of his behaviour hardly influence her - she neither cowers before Kylo nor caters to him, ever. I love her for this, actually.

So there you have it, my messy thoughts on both TROS and 'reylo' dynamics. I cant say Im satisfied with both. There could be more, Ren could be fleshed out better in the beginning. The potential of so many characters was left undeveloped. I dont feel satiafaction even with elements I loved abt reylo bc there is no counterpart in other aspects I hoped to see developed. I wanted Rey to have more time with Finn, for Finn to have more time with Poe, for Rose to matter in tros as well. I wanted more of Rey and Leia, and for Ren to have more coherence to his character. Ultimately I got crumbs and some bits unable to be stomached.

Go and watch tros, stay in the place of engaging with this series that feels best to you, closest to your needs abd perceptions. Tros will not satisfy anyone in full, also bc of editing and the pacing - which is terrible. Reylo will either frustrate you or frustrate you for entirely different reasons. Dont take JJs shit, dont take Johnson's. Take from the saga whatever works for you.

I dont think it's possible to fully embrace reylo, without reservations. There are grounds for the so called antis to point out the toxic masculinity and potential for abuse. There are tropes suggesting romance despite this still, all in just TFA. It was a mess from the very beginning and it's normal people took sides.

I'm just glad it's finally over.

ok ok this is like not anything new but still since i havent been on here i havent fully ranted about this yet. big long rant incoming

re the epilogue (spoilers etc)

ok. i have onl y read meat. but fucking? dirk? dirk? ok? dirk??

no.

i am aware of what happens in candy. i know he dies.

i also know in the version i read, in meat, he becomes his ultimate self, all versions of dirk. as many people have said, this includes AR, this includes bro, this includes even to some degree, LE. its an interesting idea ill give you that. but its also.... shitty and not backed enough by well, anything?

so heres my personal rant about the shitty things in Meat.

when i first finished it i couldnt help but think. was the dirk narrative even necessary? on the one hand it was meant to be the MAIN PLOT and it defined the narration etc, but.... it honestly didnt seem to have any importance. i know it was likely  a set up to imply future stuff like making the next sburb or whatever but like

who CARES? why on earth would that be interesting or important? maybe im crazy but like, the ‘b plot’ which was mostly about character relationships and jobs in earth c, was compelling and enjoyable. the narrative with john ‘not important and not the main character anymore’ egbert had details and conclusions ACTUALLY RELATING TO HOMESTUCK, THE COMIC I LIKE AND WANTED TO READ AN EPILOGUE FOR. it was tragic and frankly very upsetting! im not saying i liked it!! but the tragedy felt compelling and significant. 

i appreciate that dirk as narrator IS BIASED so him saying that these narratives are less important is inherently like. not to be trusted but. just. i cant help but feel like you could have cut the whole ‘main dirk reality affecting’ narrative OUT 

and that seems to me maybe like... not good? if such a central part of your narrative has almost no bearing on homestuck or anything anyone cares about?

but im sure there are other people who found it compelling and necessary. thats fair. cant relate but you do you. there are other issues. 

me saying that the dirk narrative felt weirdly isolated and insignificant sounds pretty weird given that it put jade into a coma, manipulated kanayas mind, effectively killed rose and destroyed rosemary right? WELL that brings me on to the next thing. people have noted that meat barely passes the bechdel test. and hey, sometimes things like that can just be a coincidence or unlucky. but the repeated erasure of the female characters minds, motives, identities and autonomy was????  a little too consistent to dismiss. like ok terezi was still her dope self in a lot of ways. jane kinda did some stuff (under dirks direction, and only shitty stuff but . whatever). 

(sidebar: ofc it doesnt make sense to talk about calliope and roxy in the context of the female characters in Meat but either way they were very in the background. like cool an all, and i always love roxy. and i respect they were mostly just minding their own businesses??? which is fair)

 i just. urgh. homestuck has such a genuinely good track record of giving female characters genuine motivations and powerful abilities etc. the fact that almost ALL the female characters involved were working for or manipulated by DIRK. DIRK of all people. is like... is this even based off the real comic? idgi????

roses loss of autonomy.... rose is such an important character. and she goes along with everything dirk says because dirk is suddenly all OP and ‘theyre basically the same person anyway’ like i get that there was some magic bullshit going on or whatever but at the end of the day rose was still written as weak and passive. dirk as strong and skilled and decisive. i get the undertones.. hes a prince of heart. a destroyer of souls, and identities. he messed with kanayas identity , destroyed roses, repeatedly ignored roxys and calliopes, and god i wont even get started on jake yet. but that doesnt make it satisfying to read. or even really feasible.

so theres a possibility im missing something. but im confused about WHY dirk is allowed this power. in the narrative its waved off as a kind of ‘i guess because im like a prince of heart or whatever and im just super good at managing identities and being a strong boy’ like ok if theres some implication somewhere that that is MEANT to be a bogus explanation id be interested to know because it sounds pretty goddamn bogus. why would this happen to dirk? why? literally? one reason? one that makes sense? because there arent any i can think of. why, in the new universe, would dirk, a prince of heart, manifest into a narrative controlling supergod. and fucking WHEN has dirk showed any actual capabilities in this area before?? he KINDA sucked at it in the game. dirks an idiot! hes smart and capable in like, some ways but. its like

why is dirk so powerful suddenly -> its because hes become super ultimate dirk -> ... ok why -> uh because like. hes just so naturally inclined towards being a great manipulator yknow..... canonically.... uhhhh

it just. canon dirk to epilogue dirk is the most ridiculous leap character wise, skill wise, arc wise, personality wise, with minimal reasonable explanation. 

which brings me on to the next thing. so i roasted dirk and said he wasnt strong enough to be able to manipulate things this well. well, obviously through some other means dirk HAS been afforded this power. but what about his personality? its obviously gonna be warped with self importance and knowing how things ‘have to be’. but hes heartless, cruel and hateful. in some ways it seems like canon dirk levels of ruthlessness, especially when it shows that he is actually doing something dumb and petty like his treatment of jake. that shows that he STILL has emotional connection to people as dirk. he also seems to care about some people, like dave and roxy, and cracks jokes and wants to have ‘fun’. this makes the ways in which hes so warped and cruel seem even worse. maybe on the one hand im giving dirk too much credit, everyone knows he has the potential to be a real bastard. but i dont think that was the trajectory he was on when we last saw him. and if this is truly due to him just.. becoming other versions of himself too including LE and bro and stuff..like. i dont see how it could have gotten that bad without say, roxy or dave noticing. 

‘oh they didnt notice because hes just so good at hiding’ why on earth would i believe that!! dave especially this is kinda insulting for. dave is shown to have an almost supernatural ability to detect danger. partially this might be timeline stuff, knight stuff, but also notably im sure his upbringing is involved too. he was trained to be hypervigilant. who was he trained to be hypervigilant for? bro. bros manipulation and traps. near the end of the epilogue we show that dave IS capable of detecting the mindfuckery thats happening. how would that not set off 1 million alarm bells? theres literally apparently a twisted dirk-bro mutant INSIDE HIS HEAD telling him what to do. i just. know that scene was played for comedy and romance but at the very least thats gotta like???? mess with u if ur traumatised? and thats like , why i think dave should have had an inkling abt what was going on!! this is exactly the thing he hates and fears and was traumatised by! and it just going under his nose n him not even knowing , and still pretty recently being all buddy buddy with dirk seems just stupid and infeasible to me. maybe this is me being naive or kind of a stretch but i just feel like daves danger instincts would have been kicking up a whole assed ruckus that whole time. 

also kind of unrelated but i associate sunglasses with strider style toxic masculinity and hiding things so like. ok transitioning or changing gender presentation is one thing but roxy apparently permanently wearing sunglasses makes me NERVOUS

and ill probably wrap up this mighty rant soon but i wanna also say jake was done so fucking dirty. i know he was like, meant to be, because for some reason god dirk just hated him? like ok petty much. but. urgh jake is such an interesting character with a lot of potential and while i appreciate that him being manipulated by someone who may reasonably have a problem with him may make him do stupid and embarrassing stuff, all the narrative seems to have taken a backward step in how hes represented. jake isnt stupid, dirk clearly knew this in canon and he maybe was the only one even including jake. and there was some acknowledgement of this near the beginning of the epilogue. but then for some reason it goes back on itself. everyone still thinks jake is just completely stupid, including the embittered superdirk. so yeah i guess hes upset with jake or whatever but. its still dissatisfying to be like oh yeah jake isnt stupid he actually has a complex set of motivations and potential etc BUT over the X number of yrs on earth c no one else has realised this yet?? hmm. then his narrative is just gonna end up with him being a total joke and essentially becomes as stupid and incompetent as his worst critics say he is. feasible given the mind control ? yeah. enjoyable to read or having any kind of satisfying bearing on anything? nope!

so anyway. i feel like any criticism i have could be argued back with ‘but oh it has to be this way’ or ‘mind control!!’ or ‘not everything has to be nice and happy !!’ but like. dude. there are flaws. many of them. and seeing characters just get shat on is never gonna be good writing. 

anyways, ive seen enough gameplay footage to make sense of the story as a whole and i have to say, despite many merits and potentials, the story of tlou 2 certainly is NOT a masterpiece. IGN sort of kind of still lied to me lmao. my initial judgement on the game still stands, it’s just my attitude towards the game has softened a lot. i dont think im angry about it, or even wistful about the way the story went, and i like it so much better now that ive seen more of it. in fact when i get a ps4 (or ps5 i guess smh, would they even remaster this game for ps5? lmao), i will definitely try out this game. but i still have to say that it still makes a lot of sense as to why people hate it so much and even though i don’t absolutely hate it like some of the fans, i certainly am not the biggest fan of it either.  Maybe it’s because im writing a story about fruitlessness of revenge (well, technically it’s fanfic dont @ me) and therefore ive thought a lot about such story, but the way i understand it, the true face of vengeance has always been grief, and any good revenge story is ultimately a story about loss. Everybody keeps talking about how this is about “neither side is right” or “cycle of violence is toxic” but i think these interpretations are only scratching the surface. To me, tlou 2 is about obsession, specifically obsession with revenge; It’s about hate, born from grief, driving someone down a path of violence that will never end. in truth, the obsession with vengeance is actually obsession with acquiring symbolic justice for a loss irreplaceable, and from what i seen, it seems that neil demonstrated that he understood this much. All the heartbreaking flashbacks? they aren’t just to build up ellie’s fall out with joel and her ensuing straining relationship with joel prior to the start of the story, they are to show us what ellie has lost. At the end, when she faced Abby, joel’s killer, and decided to let her go, i understand it as Ellie letting go of her hate born from grief of losing her only family, so she can finally be free from the shackle of murder and violence vengeance put on her. it SHOULD be about her letting go so that she may move on with her life before everything is lost, but when ellie comes back to the farm, dina is gone, and she has truly lost everything anyways. joel has saved ellie so that she could be happy, except that she is not, and it’s likely she will never be happy again. And what was all the heartaches about again? it felt like it was all for nothing!  the story ends in utter despair, which is very uncharacteristic for a tlou game. in tlou part I and the dlc, the story is full of perils and heartaches. Tlou ends in a way that let us know there will be no cure for the pandemic that ended the world, but the little girl that joel and the players spent entire time getting to know and growing to love survived and she may have a life in happiness and peace. tlou dlc ended in a way that hinted at ellie’s best friend riley’s eventual demise, and it sucks, and it HURTS, but she did not die on screen. the dlc ends in a way to let us know that even when all is dark, you find something to fight for and you live another day, which echoes with what joel said to ellie at the end of tlou part I. Imagine if tlou 2 also echoes with that message of hope. Imagine if ellie simply snuck out without having that conversation with dina, and when she finally let go and come back to the farm, dina is still there. ellie has lost a finger, she has lost joel, she has lost so much and all the murders and violence weighted heavily on her conscience and she is scarred from the experience. So maybe she still played that guitar, and she still despaired, but then she remembers what joel said to her 13 year old self: i struggle a long time with surviving. no matter what, you keep finding something to fight for. And then ellie looked at dina, and the baby, ellie knew that she may have lost her old family and it hurt and it hurts still and the scar of the loss will always be with her, but she has a new one to fight for and to take care of now and there is still something worth staying alive for. To me, that would have been a better and stronger ending, a ending that speak of hope even in the midst of despair, it would have been a satisifying conclusion to both joel and ellie’s relationship as well as ellie and dina’s relationship.  now, Abby’s story ultimately contribute to this overarching story about grief and loss, and yeah, i have complicated feeling about her and her part taking up so much time in the game. i sure did NOT like the idea of being forced to play as her and hurt ellie in a boss fight! who wants to fight and potentially kill their favourite character as a brand new character we have very little emotional connection to? what purpose does that serve beside letting us know that ellie did not win this fight in the story? we could have easily played as ellie instead, as her point of view is supposed to be the point of view we identified with? This is the sequel to the last of us, which is advertised as being ellie’s story after all! this is not an independent story! i dont know what was neil thinking. it was apparent to me that abby was probably afflicted with fireflies somehow even before i read any spoilers. she was looking for joel! why else would she look for him and try to kill him? i honestly didn’t think that we needed to play as her to know she was with the fireflies and she was taking revenge on joel cause joel killed her dad and most of the fireflies and took that one chance of finding the cure away from everybody. we didnt need to play as merlene to see from her point of view, just saying. she was simply reacting to what ellie and joel did for the most part, and she never really have to reflect on killing joel the way she killed him. why does she need to take up so much space in the story? this should have been a story that focuses on ellie? i still wish she was ellie’s mom and her story tied into ellie’s immunity and the larger story of finding cure for the infection and she may or may not have been connected to or involved with joel’s death and her vague connection to joel’s murder is her reason to be in the story, but frankly, i dont know how to fix abby’s part of the story, she could have been a good character but it seems to me that she shouldn’t have been such prominent character in this story in particular.  again i think from what ive seen the game’s story has potential, and it has merits, but ultimately the ending and abby’s part hurt the story and lowered its quality. people are still handling the shock of seeing joel’s brutal death, people are still UNDERSTANDABLY having difficulty sympathizing with abby, people are still angry about having to fight ellie, people are still angry about having to witness so much content of brutal violence against characters of colour (yet again) in this game, there is also apparently tranphobic backlash against the game because the garbage cis dudes from the gamer community HAVE to let us know what a disgusting cesspool of shit part of the community is every once a while. but i think it’s fair to say that this is not the star wars sequel situation again. tlou 2 is not an absolute let down the way sw sequel (tlj and ros) is, but it is still a flawed story and should be seen and understood as such. 

Fifty Shades of Fucked Up

So, this is what happens when @kayteonline , @leatherwhiskeycoffeeplaid , and I have a group chat. And then Kayte sends me this. What was I supposed to do?! @saxxxology is sad that she wasn't in the group chat, but she was in England without us, so fuck her.

Fandom: Supernatural Pairing: AU!Dean x Reader Words: 960ish Summary: Dean Winchester has some very singular kinks Warnings: Swearing; hardcore kinkshaming; making a lot of fun of 50 Shades of Grey because I hate it; cum shampoo (mentioned); one character talking frankly about their sexual kinks and it going just…oh goodness, awesome for everyone involved

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Dean Winchester was the most eligible bachelor in the entire world. One of the richest men on the planet, regularly topping Forbes’ Top 100 Most Influential People, and unfairly gorgeous to boot, any woman in her right mind would be at the very least moist if he was within sight.

Even Y/N was not immune.

When she’d fallen face first into his office for an interview like she was a damsel in a terrible romance novel, her panties were ruined. Then he began answering her terrible questions, and he actually seemed to be flirting with her.

She was an average-looking English student who, for some reason, didn’t understand how early twenty-somethings worked, almost like she was written by a housewife who still called it “The Facebook.”

With almost no real personality and looking more like a mouse than a human, why on earth would Dean fucking Winchester be interested in her?

It made absolutely no sense.

But, here they were, in his stupidly amazing loft, furiously making out. He had her pinned against the wall, using every glorious inch of his broad, toned body to hold her down. She couldn't escape even if she tried and, though that should've terrified her because he was definitely a sociopath, it instead went right to her panties. She had to press her thighs together to alleviate some of the burning desire curling up inside her.

His plush lips kissed and nipped at every inch of skin he found, going from her lips to her jaw to her neck and ever downwards. She tugged at his tie, snatching it from his neck.

That seemed to snap him out of his reverie, and he pulled back just enough to remain close to her, but far enough that she couldn’t recapture his lips with her own. “Wait,” he said breathlessly.

“Why?” she whimpered.

“There’s something you should know about me.”

Immediately, her thoughts went to the worst place. “Oh god, you have herpes, don’t you?”

“What?” he frowned, his perfect face marred by his confusion. “No, I’m clean. I’m not—I always use protection.”

“Oh, okay. Good. Awesome.”

“No,” he started again. “My desires are…unconventional.”

“So show me,” Y/N whispered.

With that, Dean took her hand and led him down the halls of his loft. He didn’t stop until they reached the end of the hall, turning his deep emerald eyes to her, as though he wasn’t sure she was still following him. She responded by squeezing his hand, lightly. She even smiled softly, like she was trying to comfort him, though she was nervous as all hell herself at the moment.

He pushed the door open slowly, revealing the master bedroom. It was gorgeous, full of modern furniture swatched in shades of grey. She was pulled past the bed towards a non-descript, slightly open white door on the other end of the large room.

He opened it to reveal a lavish bathroom, with a luxury glass shower and even a bath tub with jets inside it. Y/N melted just at looking the gorgeous room.

Dean finally pulled her to the shower, only letting go of her hand once they were at the door. He leaned in, grabbing a plain bottle from the bottom of the shower. She frowned, taking the bottle when it was handed to her, but mostly just looking as confused as she felt. “What is this?”

“It’s a shampoo bottle.”

There was a pause as she tried to figure out what the hidden meaning was. “Okay…”

She refused to look at him, but she could feel his gaze practically burning through her hand where she held the bottle. “I like to have sex, then finish in the girl’s hair. Then I have to watch her use my cum as shampoo.”

The sentence had barely left his lips before Y/N was at the toilet, vomiting up every single thing she’d ever eaten in her entire life. She was pretty sure she saw her ninth birthday cake make an appearance.

Dean waited by the shower as she vomited, shifting his feet awkwardly.

When Y/N finally was done worshipping the porcelain God, she turned to Dean.

“That is the most disgusting thing I’ve ever heard.”

“It’s just—”

“No, no!” she shouted. “Don’t say it, I’ll throw up again.”

“I really think you’re acting childish.”

“And I think you’re a sick fuck,” she retorted, pushing herself up on wobbly knees. “I am so out of here.”

“Wait, what?”

“Yeah, no way are you hot enough for this shit.”

“I’m handsome, I’m rich, and—”

“And a sick fuck,” she breezed right past him.

Dean sputtered for a moment, unsure how exactly this was happening to him. After a beat of silence, he ran after her, chasing her to his combination front door/elevator.

She was inside, viciously attacking the lobby button, and he barely made it in time.

“Please,” he began, looking like a kicked puppy. “Please don’t go.”

“No,” she shook her head almost violently. “No, you are not rich or hot or anything enough for-for…God, you’re a pervert.”

“I really don’t—it’s really not that bad.”

“‘Not that bad?!’” Y/N screeched loud enough to almost break the glass wall that gave a spectacular view of the city below them. “You want me to wash—and I use that term very loosely—my hair in your semen?!”

“Well, you have to understand, my mother—”

“No, just because something shitty happened to you doesn’t mean you get to be a sick fuck,” Y/N cut him off. “So, you know, thanks, but, also, maybe go fuck yourself.”

With that, the doors to the elevator closed, leaving Dean Winchester with one last image of the girl who got away: Y/N trying not to vomit in the elevator.

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Intense Pedophilia and Grooming Trigger warning

but, I never really see myself as a "victim" of grooming or pedophilia but there's many times like tonight where I remember that I... really was. by many people actually. theI had a friend trying to get me into giantess and feet fetish stuff when I was as young as 14/15. I literally have art of it on here still. I remember them calling me mature for my age. We talked about sexual stuff all the time and even eventually had a sex rp. I even showed nudes and stuff as well to them. I can't remember how old I was but I don't think I was a minor at the time. Now I don't even want to talk to anymore despite him being what I had considered a good friend. I get a weird feeling whenever I think about him. I remember him pushing me to vore either his muse or someone elses and promised me a commission if I did it. OF course I wanted a commission so I did. I remember a lot of pushyness and red flags I just kinda ignored or didn't see when I was younger. another one of his friends was someone I talked to often that also did sexual stuff with me. Wouldn't tell me off or anything and would instigate it. I can barely remember what but I remembered I talked about sexual stuff with him and a particular "Younger people can have fantasies about older people and I"m not gonna stop that" sort of thing. There was another guy in his 30s that actually helped me figure out I was bi by pretending to be a girl and initiating rp with my female muse. That was also around when I was 15 ish and continued way longer than it should have. It stepped up from muses to wanting to have sex rps as just him and I. He made comments about how my parents had the same age gap. We stopped talking many times and he'd come back with some "id rather be friends without sexual rps than not be friends" but ultimately he eventually went away and bitched me out because I kept not wanting to have sex rps with him but would talk about sexual things on my NSFW blog about myself. Not in a sexual way, mind you. Just talking about my experiences. If I remember correctly this was either right before or around the time I was 18. I also had another friend that I was really attached to. Our main ocs were together for years, had kids, and I had known them since around the same age. We did nsfw rps and stuff too despite an age gap. We talked about pretty much everything. Things I don't even think I'll ever bring up again. They talked about incest stuff a lot. Felt the same way that I did in the sense of it being fake and harmless. They did a lot of things that made me uncomfortable but the tipping point was when he kept making offhand scenario/jokes that their ponysona that I shipped my ponysona with was a "Philly fiddler." AKA pedo. Situations with minor canon chars and his char. when I brought it up when I ended up ghosting them, they mentioned It was a phase, and I'll respect that from them because I also had uncomfortable "phases" that I've mentioned,. but it still made me uncomfortable as shit and I should've talked about it when it was happening. He also had a lot of political ideals I disagreed with but obviously that's a bit of a tangent and not an accusation. I remember seeing something relatively recently when I started missing him and checked his blog out, about that kid that was forced to dance for older men, and there was some snarky comment about "But it's okay for Tumblr because it's gay." and like. I don't even want to go into how wrong and homophobic that is but yeah. They said shit like that a lot despite trying to claim to be lgbtq+ positive. Despite all that I've yet to find a friend like them even after nearly 4 years of not talking with them anymore. Someone I trust and confided in everything with and talked with on a nearly daily basis. I miss the interaction still but my social presence get worse and worse on here as time goes by, and I don't think I ever will find someone I'll connect with like that again and it sucks knowing that they'll be it. I also around this time (and longer than I'd like to talk about) I used to be into horrible shit. I remember drawing incest porn of two of my characters. I used to have a noncon fetish and had a few drawings with that I've since deleted. Things that I defended when I was younger for the same reasons I still see today. "It's fiction. Its not reality." "I'm not actually into noncon/incest IRL and hate it, and know the difference between it and fiction." "Fantasizing isn't the same as actually doing it." I'm sure you've heard it all. Not really questioning or wondering why I thought it was acceptable in the form of fiction when I hated it in reality. Not thinking or understanding how this could hurt people, rather they were victims or NOT. All this, it hurts because I know I instigated a fair amount of these things, being painfully cringy and downright bold and even pushy about how horny I was as a developing kid, and because of that feel responsible for it. But, god damn I was just a fucking kid. Going through feelings and physical changes and shit I didn't even understand, and was nothing but taken advantage of by these people. While part of me feels guilt and shame for my actions, the other part of me remembers that these were fucking adult men leagues older than I was (with the exception of one who was only a few years older than me) that should've known better. It feels humiliating even thinking and talking about the things that happened, yet I can't even fucking imagine talking or dealing with a 15 year old like they did with me. It puts a knot in my stomach. and while I have that I also have instances of people the same age acting 100 percent responsibly with me that I still consider my friends to this day. It's just so fucking awful what happened. The internet can have such amazing things on it but also so much fucking trash and garbage. If any other kid my age came up to me and told me what I've said now, I'd hurt me so much. I'd feel so much anger towards the people who hurt them and I'd look at them like fucking scum. Yet I don't with them. Yet I don't even consider myself a victim. And tonight it makes me wonder how many others experienced a similar or even the same thing that feel the same way. Who feel "Lucky" because they were never actually physically assaulted like I feel. Who feel like it was just a part of them growing up as a woman like I did. Or that feel completely differently than I do and actually hurt but have no outlet to talk about it. and I remember my family trying to stop it. My dad was livid when he found out I was talking with adults online. My sister suspected some of the stuff I was doing but I played it off because I was a stupid kid. They could've helped me if I had just let them. If you're a minor that happened to stumble here, don't trust a single adult that's willing to be sexual with you. Or calls you mature. or approaches you with anything sexual. Don't do it. Even if they seem like a decent person, they aren't. It's not different between you and them.. It's not harmless. It may not even seem wrong to you at the time, but I can tell you it's wrong. It's awful. If you're an adult and a minor approaches you sexually. Ignore it. Tell them off. Do not interact with them even if you think they're "Mature" enough. Dont' be fucking gross and misuse your power over them. You should know better period. You have no rhyme or reason to act this way and have no excuse. You know better. and I don't wonder if this is why I have so many problems with my sexuality, or asexuality rather. Sometimes I even wonder if it's why I'm asexual. Every time I tried to express it when I was younger was either in a completely unsafe environment or it failed miserably. I was fat and "ugly" and the weird kid, no one but the town horndog wanted to fuck me and that went fucking horrible. Plus, sex ed is a fucking joke around here. absolutely nothing about boundaries or making sure your partner is comfortable or anything actually useful was covered, things I frankly feel I need more of than the average person. Rather I think I'm a victim or not, Rather I think about these things or not, They've affected me for the rest of my life on how I handle and do certain things.   This shit isn't okay. It never will be okay, and I will never support it no matter how many people wanna call me an """Anti""" or what the fuck ever, and I get sick to my stomach thinking that I know people who do. Not from a "Fandom" standpoint either. It's something I've felt for years before the stupid "Anti" and "Anti-anti" terms came to be. This shit harms kids rather you think it does or not. Fiction impacts. It's important as hell, especially fandom based writings and fictions. If you don't approach these subjects with tact, and end up normalizing it/defending it, it hurts people. It gets so frustrating to see the same people that talk about how much fanfics and fandom artist drawings have impacted their lives, how beautiful they are to them, but also have the audacity to say that "Fiction isn't real, it's not hurting anyone." or "it's just fiction writing don't like it don't read" when talking about harmful shit like Incest, abuse romanticizing, pedophilia, ect.

when people enforce their favorite pairings so fuckin viciously i cant help but get annoyed. Ive never been one for shipping, im more invested in the characters and story themselves rather than who i think should fuck or whatever, but the worst kind of people to me are the ones who have to make every aspect of the source material about their ship or shove aside anything that doesnt support/focus on it, and essentially just force as much as they can to have it permeate the media as a whole. I could say this sentence for just about anything but: fujoshis are the fucking worst when it comes to this. You really can't deny it, especially when being a fujoshi is a disgusting thing to begin with. Not only are they usually the most guilty of demanding to have their pairing catered to, its also really ass-pissingly common to see them berate and tear down anyone or anything that DOESN'T support it, even when it has nothing to do with them and is truthfully a matter of personal preference and opinion. Infuriatingly Ironically, the same people who claim intolerance when confronted are also the ones who respond with outrage when presented with the notion that people who disagree with them are allowed to coexist and have just as much of a right to presence on the internet and to enjoy the content as well. In all my experiences both first and secondhand fujoshis have always been the fucking Worst with really aggressive and immature behavior as a means to ensure that they can consume as much fetishized "YAOI!!!!1! XD" content as they want and be as obnoxious as they can towards anyone with a different opinion or tastes. If that weren't enough, they also tend to drown out content that doesnt relate to their shipping, so people who just want to enjoy either of the characters as they are, you know, as in, more than a hypothetical relationship because straight girls like the way they look together, they have to do so while flooded with so much content focusing solely on that that by comparison the remainder seems practically barebones.

And listen, just disliking or being apathetic to something thats popular doesnt make you a victim to see it a lot, thats not my point at all, but the hypocrisy of the types who flood any platform with their favorite pairing really shows when anything that conflicts or doesnt pander to it surfaces, because they'll usually be the first ones to cry that it's being "forced" on them, even when theyre still receiving the overwhelming majority of content. You know the people I'm talking about.

So outside of giving my two cents on a topic thats literally giving me whiplash like I'm back in 2009 to talk about, what really bugs me is when whatever they're shipping is not just baseless, (because canon is not law and the freedom to explore outside possibilities and "what ifs" is kind of a core element to enjoying and being creative with content you like) but also unhealthy and romanticized. Toxic relationships are horrible things. And even then, I'm not saying they are objectively bad! Sometimes the toxic pairings are even the CANON ones, but the romanticizing it and prettying it up (particularly common in mlm pairings and especially from fujoshis) to create something that's optimal for yaoi fangirls to squeal at and flick their bean to is just genuinely upsetting. I know I'm about the millionth person to point this out, I'm practically certain everyone and their grandma has said this by now, and believe me I'm not thinking that my typing this will suddenly give fujos a biblical revelation and end toxicity forever, no, no such luck. So, yeah. You know the drill. Portraying abusive/neglectful relationships as something healthy, let alone romantic, is bad. yadda yadda, someone comes back at me with the "it's just fiction" argument, blah blah, I remind them that throughout history and constantly to this day media has and will influence real life on both an individual scale as well as en masse, they tell me to leave the internet or kms or something bc this apparently warrants that in their eyes, yadda yadda, done. You've all heard it before and frankly I'm just waaay too tired to put myself and a million other people blessed with some sense, since it's apparently a commodity, on repeat. But even that's not all. This pertains more to me I guess since the kind of media I enjoy tends to focus on more dark topics and circumstances, so I guess fans of slice of life style stuff might not have this problem, at least not as much? But when I see such an unhealthy pairing praised like gospel, especially with a character I not only love but relate to, resonate with, whatever you want to call it, it's just depressing. You've probably had this feeling at least once before, when its like; As if it's not bad enough when a character gets the short end of the stick in canon, now those shitty circumstances and terrible treatment are being erased and prettied up because fujos would rather rework the material into something better suited for their fangirling. I dunno, when you like a character so much, when you sort of imprint on them in that way and kind of go like "yes. you." somewhere along the line, and start to root for them and relate to them and even see bits of yourself in them, if you're anything like me I guess, when something unfair, grisly or depressing happens to my favorite character in a series/game/etc, I hate it as much as the next person, it fuckin blows, man. But people acting like the character's mistreatment didnt happen, rework it into something they can use for ship fuel or anything less than what it was just feels worse somehow. Like on top of everything else even people looking at the story and events from an outside perspective either just dont or wont recognize and acknowledge what that character endured, even when its a critical moment and integral to who they are, or even to the story as a whole. Idk, call me lame, pathetic, immature, whatever, for having a piece of fiction become important to me, but it just stings every time I see them altered, manipulated, and reduced to something completely different from themselves for the sake of a pairing. Like the idea of the pairing, that concept, is more important to them than the integrity of what the character is, and from people who claim to be fans, no less. The idea of something beloved to you being dominated by people who simply want to shave it down to create a Person A and Person B for them to mash together and making kissing sounds is just kind of... completely exhausting.

If it seems like I'm taking this suuuper super seriously, think of it this way: coming from someone who is an aspiring content creator themselves, it kind of just gives a bit of unpleasant foresight for what I and creators like me will have to brace themselves for, and then maybe it'll at least make a little more sense to you for me to be so bitter, lol.