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#but the wikipedia description made me INSANE
chicago-geniza · 2 years
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This mf was on Wikipedia secretly self-diagnosing with a cluster C personality disorder because they had never felt capable of connecting with other human beings & rarely if ever experienced emotions as anything but a very dull thud as though blunt force felt through layers of padding, or distant sound waves made fainter and distorted from deep underwater, and you are telling me that this is--not entirely, of course, but very much in significant part--what the kids call. Fucking. "Depression." And it responds to your fucking. Hives medicine, at a subclinical dose. And you had ruled this out 84 years ago because you did not Feel Sad and your friends' descriptions of clinical depression sounded very alien and SSRIs and SNRIs always made you batshit insane without alleviating any of the Angstneurose. And the only description that aligned even a little bit was Stefania Zahorska's, which framed the issue as disordered communication between "the I in the world," the "cogito" that cannot make an if-then ergo-sum proof of its own existence to itself by the mere fact of its consciousness anymore, but must exist In-Relation, must be I-Thou not just I-Cogito-Ergo-Sum-of-Man--and that is an existential crisis, when it cannot FEEL the proof of its relation to others, when it only feels its intellect and itself, alone, when it knows only that the Other is unknowable and it is unknowable to the Other, and reaches out its hand in the dark, and knows only the fear that it will find nothing there to grasp. Stefania Gets It. you become inert, you become catatonic, you lose language! because you have lost the Drive for Existence-In-Relation, you have lost your communicative capabilities, and all that remains is the fear of their absence, and the fear that this absence will become permanent. Stefania's Angstneurose is not...hm. the Narrative? I ever heard. but 10 mg doxepin helps and makes me able to feel emotions about flowers and my friends and the future, so 🤷‍♂️
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starbuck · 2 years
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“Red book cover, red book cover.”
You know the book that Flint’s reading in the fort cell in 4x05? The red one that resembles his beloved copy of Meditations? This one?
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It’s not Meditations. It’s The Pilgrim’s Progress…
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… which, for anyone unaware, is a famous Christian allegory written by Puritan preacher John Bunyan in the 1600s, which sets out a prescription for how one ought to seek and attain salvation from a Puritan perspective (the only correct one according to them).
It stands in complete opposition to Thomas’ “know no shame” inscription in Meditations, encouraging its readers to feel ashamed about everything they do that might divert them from the straight and narrow. It also opposes Miranda’s assertion that “true love shouldn’t require suffering,” being very much on the “the truest form of love, love through suffering,” side of things.
Which brings us to Flint. According to Miranda in 2x05, Flint’s being driven to fight against England is, in part, a result of his shame. She perceives this shame to be that which Civilization’s judgements have burdened him with but Flint himself suggests that his shame is also the result of guilt over having not tried to save Thomas when he had the chance.
This is interesting because, though I do believe that Flint has largely made peace with himself by season four and has found a greater cause to fight for overall (which are not insignificant things, I want to be clear), it’s also true that he says to Silver in 4x04: “I think if [Thomas] knew how close we were to the victory he gave his life to achieve, he wouldn't want me to [give it up],” suggesting that Thomas’ death is still hanging over him in a way that’s honestly not that dissimilar to how he started out. There’s still a shame-based aspect to his desire to fight in the sense of “I can’t give up this war because Thomas (and now Miranda too) died for this.”
All of this could easily be said to parallel the protagonist of The Pilgrim’s Progress being driven to undertake a perilous journey in order to rid himself of his burden of shame and finally find peace at the end of it all.
According to the Puritan teachings espoused in the book, believing that you are inherently unclean and sinful is paramount to your salvation so, in other words, shame is good and necessary. As I said, this is the complete opposite of the Hamiltons’ beliefs, but it aligns pretty well with the ideas that Oglethorpe professes at the beginning of 4x10 about how “human debris” such as Thomas and Flint are “anathema to the Empire” and how they “must cease to be… to be able to find peace.”
Plenty of people have pointed out that Oglethorpe’s prison plantation can be viewed as a metaphorical afterlife which Flint enters into at the end of the show (through a gate even, just like the entrance into Heaven), but I’d also like to highlight his having to walk down a literal straight and narrow path—again, like the protagonist of The Pilgrim’s Progress—in order to finally reunite with Thomas.
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So, with all that being said, the message behind Flint reading this particular book in 4x05 seems twofold to me:
1. Despite doing his best to follow Thomas and Miranda’s example and cast off his shame, shame is still something that Flint is very much burdened by and which still influences his desire to fight against England, even into season four.
2. Silver’s orchestrating Flint’s being sent to the plantation in Savannah and reunited with Thomas aligns with the “happy ending” of The Pilgrim’s Progress, freeing him from his shame and allowing him to find the peace he sought at last. And yet, with the plantation itself being upheld by shame, by the idea that men like Thomas and Flint deserve to be cast out of Civilization, is this really the kind of ““peace”” that Flint wanted for himself? Can imprisoning him for life in such a place truly be said to be “freeing” him from anything?
By having this particular copy of The Pilgrim’s Progress superficially resemble Meditations despite it being a book whose values are entirely opposite from Thomas’ core tenant “know no shame,” the show presents us with a “fruit, fruit. tits, tits.” commentary on its own ending: Silver’s solution might look like a happy ending for Flint at first glance, but, in reality, it promotes shame rather than eliminating it.
#black sails#james flint#i am. VERY excited about this#i have no idea if i'm the first one to point this out but i'd never heard anyone else say it before#and i wasn't even in the episode for this... i just happened to be scrolling around looking for a couple of other scenes and i was like#'hang on a second - can i read that title?'#and then i COULD!!!!!!#and at first i wasn't entirely sure what i had stumbled upon because i knew literally nothing about this book#but the wikipedia description made me INSANE#so like. did my day get entirely derailed by reading Part I of The Pilgrim's Progress in its entirety 100% for the purpose of making sure#i knew what i was talking about in this post?#*PERHAPS.*#it was. A Lot.#but worth it for this post!#the writers were insane for including this TINY detail that's literally only noticeable if you pause on one specific frame#and even then probably only if you have the blu-rays for the image quality (bc even then - it's barely readable as you can see)#but have it mean SO MUCH thematically!!#and of course - this is only my interpretation#i'd love if other folks wanted to take a crack at it also - particularly if they know more about this stuff than i do#i read the book (or the first part of it anyway - which seemed most relevant and is the part Flint is reading) and skimmed some wiki pages#but i am in no way claiming to be an expert on the text or John Bunyan or Puritanism or any of that#so i welcome any and all Thoughts that folks may have!
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sk1fanfiction · 3 years
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the many faces of tom riddle, part 2
 -you dislike frank dillane’s portrayal of tom riddle only because you don’t think he’s attractive-
FULL DISCLAIMER THAT THIS IS JUST MY OPINION OF A CHARACTER WHO DOESN’T HAVE THE STRONGEST CANON CHARACTERIZATION, AND THUS ALL THIS IS BASED ON MY CONCEPTUALIZATION (and this time, featuring a bit of armchair child psych from a student).
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Wait, don’t clutch your pearls just yet. Compose yourself.
I am about to explain why it’s not actually that bad, and Dillane’s portrayal is vastly underappreciated.
I definitely agree that his portrayal comes off as ‘creepier’. It’s not helped by the stylistic decisions in the scene -- the smeary, green filter gives the scene a sinister quality. 
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Even Slughorn looks suspect here, which is somewhat appropriate, given that he is complicit in this crime. 
Again, this scene is very much intended to be slightly off.
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You’ll notice (and I’ll discuss this again when I talk about Coulson’s portrayal) that Dillane is almost always shot from at least slightly below, which makes the lower third of his face look bigger (and thus more menacing). The lighting also makes his eyes glow in a really unnatural way. There’s an echo-y effect to make his voice (and not Slughorn’s) sound unnerving.
People talk about how Coulson would have looked in this scene, and if he was filmed in the same way (monotone, smeary/shadowy filter, and always from below), he’d look a bit creepy, too.
But all of this, imo, is for a pretty good reason. Slughorn isn’t the POV character. Harry is. Harry is learning about how a young Lord Voldemort wheedled the secret of Horcruxes out of an unsuspecting teacher. Unlike in COS, he expects Riddle to be evil. And, so, Harry’s new perception of Tom Riddle literally colors how we perceive him.
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Take this shot, for example: he does that head-tilt thing that Coulson does, and it’s actually... kind of... cute???
Imagine Dillane filmed from slightly above, like Coulson usually is, and it looks even more innocent. (I mean, come on, he does not look like he’s killed four people, does he?) It’s not hard to imagine teachers being taken in by this kind of act.
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Even that little smirk he does when the camera (aka, Harry’s gaze) pans in, is for Harry’s benefit. No one else noticed that. 
However, I still fail to find this creepy, like, at all. Yes, it’s a fake smile, but he’s portraying a different side of Tom Riddle to Coulson. Whereas, in COS, he’s in his vindictive, murderous element, where he’s free to express himself, in this scene, Tom Riddle is doing what he does best -- manipulating and managing appearances. 
This entire scene is an act. And because Harry knows it’s an act, it should look a bit stilted. 
From the Hepzibah Smith scene in the books: Voldemort smiled mechanically and Hepzibah simpered.
So, Harry is pretty adept at parsing Tom’s fake expressions.
But just look at the expressiveness in his face: he goes from brooding, he blinks, and his entire face changes to this charming (fake) smile. 
At the risk of sounding elitist, I’m a bit tired of seeing the word ‘psychopath’, which is not an actual medical diagnosis recognised by any psychological or psychiatric institution, being tossed about, especially with reference to Tom Riddle (and from a neuroscience perspective, it’s doubly annoying). There’s no such thing as ‘insanity’ or ‘psychopathy’ or being ‘crazy.’
-although I use it too a shorthand in conversation to distinguish ‘canon’ Tom from his ‘softer’ OOC counterparts, I really shouldn’t-
Unfortunately, I’ve seen the ‘psychopath’ comment used time-and-time again as an excuse or a full explanation of ‘why Tom Riddle went evil’ (JKR in fact, has made a weird comment in an interview, basically saying that ‘psychopaths can’t be redeemed or learn adaptive coping skills’ or whatever), which really just goes to show the lack of understanding and compassion when personality disorders, especially, are concerned.
But what I like most about the opening of this scene, actually, is that first, listless expression. And this is where we get slightly into headcanon, but Tom Riddle is the opposite of a happy, mentally healthy teenager. By Dumbledore’s own admission, he has no real friends. He has no parental figures, no real attachments. Yes, he might derive some pride or enjoyment from being good at magic and top of his class and all that, but I really don’t think even Tom finds that truly fulfilling. There is nothing that makes him happy. 
In fact, although some might perceive it as ‘creepy’, I think that listless expression is an accurate window into Tom’s psyche. 
I know people aren’t big on Freud, but I think that he does make some interesting points (also, cut the guy some slack for being relatively open-minded for the Victorian Era, and inventing psychoanalysis and while yes he did say some sexist stuff, good luck finding a field of science that isn’t male-focused and makes crazy generalizations about women, especially back in the day) about the possible origins of thanatophobia, the fear of death.
According to Freud, thanatophobia is a disguise for a deeper source of concern -- he did not believe that people were capable of conceptualizing their own death to that extent. Instead, he believed that this phobia was caused by unresolved childhood conflicts that the sufferer cannot come to terms with or express emotion towards.
Now, I know Freud almost always attributes mental distress to childhood experiences, but I think in this case, it really has some merit.
According to attachment theory, the basis of how we form attachments in adulthood is dictated by learning it from experiences with caregivers in the first two years of life. We know Tom was born in an orphanage, and that he didn’t cry much as a baby, and subsequently, probably received very little attention. Compounded with possible genetic factors and his caregivers being afraid or wary of his magical abilities, he later struggled to form attachments because of this -- I would actually go so far as to say that by the time Dumbledore meets him, Tom Riddle is severely depressed. 
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And that flat affect and anhedonia, I think, comes over very well in Dillane’s portrayal. There’s kind of this resignation -- a very deep sadness and loneliness to his character.
Of course, he doesn’t derive any comfort or fulfillment from human interaction, because (to borrow the description from the Wikipedia article on ‘Reactive attachment disorder’, which Tom meets all the criteria for) he has a “grossly disturbed internal working model of relationships.” In other words, he is unresponsive to all offers of attachment because of this unacknowledged trauma.
(You could arguably class Tom as having an avoidant attachment style, but I think in his case the trauma and its effect on him are severe enough to call it disordered.)
RAD isn’t particularly well-characterized (especially neurologically) and quite new in the literature, but here are some links if anyone is interested in doing a bit of digging: Link 1 | Link 2 | Paper 1 | Paper 2
And, instead of trying to resolve this conflict in a healthy way, or at least recognize that this is why he can’t be happy and try to learn how to cope from there, he (a) represses the desire for human attachment and (b) funnels that negative emotion into being the fault of Death, the Grim Reaper (again, to borrow Freudian terms). 
And we all know how that turned out...
(And now, this should go without saying, but psychoanalyzing fictional characters has nothing to do with assigning a morality to mental disorders. Mental illness is neither a cause nor an excuse for criminal behavior -- in the same way that the cycle of violence is a phenomenon, not an excuse. Tom Riddle did not become a genocidal murderer because, in common parlance, he was a ‘psychopath’ -- he was not necessarily ‘predisposed’ to evil and could just as easily chosen to not follow the path that he did -- instead, he willingly made poor choices. This is a descriptive analysis, not a justification -- a ‘how’, not a ‘why’)
Here’s a Carl Jung quote that articulates it better:
“I am not what happened to me, I am what I choose to become.”
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Yes, he’s a bit stiff (and a lot more formal than in COS during his *conversation* with Harry). But, and here comes the controversial bit, this is appropriate for a portrayal of a schoolboy in the 1940s. The upright posture is accurate -- respectful, polite -- everything Tom Riddle would have been expected to be (and even Coulson, in that scene with Dumbledore in COS, is quite stiff). Even the way he looks at Slughorn and maintains eye contact is very *respectful.*
And, Dillane (I think he’s seventeen or eighteen here) actually looks like a believable sixteen-year-old. I’m sorry, I love Coulson’s portrayal as well, but he looks around nineteen in COS; so in HBP, he probably would have looked at least twenty-two or so. (Sorry, not sorry).
This may be influenced by my own interpretation of the character (because I imagine Tom always looks young for his age, and Dillane fits that archetype, but I don’t think that’s very popular), but I think young Tom Riddle is supposed to be *cute* and a bit stiff/shy/awkward (being charming and awkward is very much possible), if you consider the way Dippet and Slughorn treat him. 
To support this, he says very few words to Hepzibah Smith (in the book, that scene’s not in the movie), and is very... bashful and coy during the whole interaction? I think yes, he’s charismatic, but he’s not loud, suave, openly flirtatious or particularly verbose. Tom Riddle should have a quiet magnetism, and to me, that came across in Dillane’s portrayal.
"I'd be glad to see anything Miss Hepzibah shows me," said Voldemort quietly, and Hepzibah gave another girlish giggle.
...
"Are you all right, dear?"
"Oh yes," said Voldemort quietly. "Yes, I'm very well. ..."
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Even the ‘ugly, greedy look’ described in the books, when Slughorn starts spilling his secrets, is there. This is how he’s supposed to look! Slughorn glimpses it, but doesn’t understand its significance. Harry does. 
“Slughorn looked deeply troubled now: He was gazing at Riddle as though he had never seen him plainly before, and Harry could tell that he was regretting entering into the conversation at all.”
Remember the context of this moment, as well: He’s just discovered how to create multiple Horcruxes. Excuse him for looking a bit creepy (if not now, then when?).
Here’s two direct quotes of Harry’s impression of Tom Riddle in that scene: 
“But Riddle's hunger was now apparent; his expression was greedy, he could no longer hide his longing.”
“Harry had glimpsed his face, which was full of that same wild happiness it had worn when he had first found out that he was a wizard, the sort of happiness that did not enhance his handsome features, but made them, somehow, less human. . . .”
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Tom Riddle’s Horcruxes are a direct metaphor for his refusal to allow himself to heal from his trauma -- instead, he continues to inflict destruction on himself and others.
His desire to continue creating more Horcruxes sort of resounds with the fact that self-harm can also become a compulsion.
I’d also like to digress a bit to discuss the Gaunt Ring, while we’re at it. While we’ve talked about his attachment issues in general, this discussion is particularly pertinent to father figures. And while Tom’s attachment issues are extensive, I think there’s ample evidence that as a child, he craved acknowledgement and acceptance from a father figure -- the man who gave him the only thing Tom truly owned -- his name. He would have had a vaguely defined mother figure in Mrs. Cole, perhaps.
"You see that house upon the hillside, Potter? My father lived there. My mother, a witch who lived here in this village, fell in love with him. But he abandoned her when she told him what she was.... He didn’t like magic, my father ... He left her and returned to his Muggle parents before I was even born, Potter, and she died giving birth to me, leaving me to be raised in a Muggle orphanage ... but I vowed to find him ... I revenged myself upon him, that fool who gave me his name ... Tom Riddle. ..."
We know that by June of 1943 (COS flashback) Tom has already uncovered the truth of his parentage; he knows he is the Heir of Slytherin via the Gaunt line, and he describes himself to Dippet as ‘Half-blood, sir. Witch mother, Muggle father.’
In Part 1, I discussed the high probability that as a presumed ‘Mudblood’, Tom Riddle was treated rather poorly in Slytherin House. But by this scene in the fall of 1943, he is surrounded by a group of adoring hangers-on. Why?
In my opinion; the Gaunt Ring. We know that Tom stopped wearing it after school, so its sentimental value couldn’t have been that great. We know he likes to collect objects (which I believe stems from his attachment issues -- he seeks comfort in things instead of other people).
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Signet rings (such as the one belonging to Tutankhamun seen above) were used to stamp legal documents and such, in order to certify someone’s identify -- like an e-certificate, if you will. Like Tutankhamun’s ring, the Gaunt Ring bears an identifying symbol -- Marvolo Gaunt tells us proudly that it bears the Peverell family crest.
By the Middle Ages, anyone of influence, including the nobility, wore a signet ring. Rings in antiquity were auspicious -- they signified power, legitimacy, and authority. And so, I believe that all the Sacred Twenty-Eight families would have worn these, too.
And so, bearing the Gaunt Ring would have established Tom Riddle, symbolically and in the eyes of the Sacred Twenty-Eight (his future supporters and followers), as the legitimate heir to the House of Gaunt. This is why, I believe, Tom coveted the ring as soon as he saw it -- not just because it was a family heirloom, and not just because he thought it was a pretty toy for his collection.
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(He curses it so that no one else but him can wear the Gaunt Ring safely.)
This is why, to make the legitimization literal as well as symbolic, Tom murders his father and grandparents. It’s not just an act of vindictive, murderous rage due to his perception of being rejected by his father (although it is that, too). And so, Tom, abandoning his search for a father figure (and possibly also giving up on the possibility to allow himself to heal from his own personal trauma rather than continue to inflict it on others), ‘cleanses’ his bloodline, to make himself truly legitimate. It’s rather telling that instead of affirming his legitimacy as a Riddle, which would have put him in line for a nice inheritance, and hey -- money is money -- (thus accepting his half-blood status), he simply kills them all. He has done all the murdering he needs to become immortal (and he hasn’t had the discussion about multiple Horcruxes yet); but yet, he does it again. Frightening stuff. 
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(Just look how the others look at Tom. All but the one to his left -- possibly Nott, Rosier, or Mulciber -- have their torsos turned towards him. Their attention is on him, while he knowingly regards the viewer/Harry. Tom seems a little uncomfortable with the attention.).
“And there were the half-dozen teenage boys sitting around Slughorn with Tom Riddle in the midst of them, Marvolo's gold-and-black ring gleaming on his finger.”
...
“Riddle smiled; the other boys laughed and cast him admiring looks.”
...
“Tom Riddle merely smiled as the others laughed again. Harry noticed that he was by no means the eldest of the group of boys, but that they all seemed to look to him as their leader.”
The ‘gang’ are true hangers-on; Tom doesn’t seem to pay them much attention. 
So, if not via careful flattery or charisma, the attraction must be status.
And perhaps yet more telling...
"I don't know that politics would suit me, sir," he said when the laughter had died away. "I don't have the right kind of background, for one thing." “A couple of the boys around him smirked at each other. Harry was sure they were enjoying a private joke, undoubtedly about what they knew, or suspected, regarding their gang leader's famous ancestor.”
That, in my opinion, is as good as we’re going to get as proof that Tom’s shiny new signet ring (and by extension, his new status) made a big impression on his fellow students.
So, when he returns to Hogwarts, he is ‘pureblood’. He is cleansed of his Muggle roots, and becomes the legitimate heir of the House of Gaunt, now well on his way to becoming Lord Voldemort...
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Watch the scene again, with a critical eye, and imagine Slughorn’s perspective, instead of Harry’s. There’s nothing creepy about Tom Riddle... unless you know what he is...
Strip away all the effects of Harry’s gaze (and notice, here he’s still looking at Harry), and he’s quite the charmer, actually.
(I will concede that I don’t like the promotional images where they have him looking like he’s up to no good. And I do wish he blinked once in a while.)
My challenge to you: Rewatch the scene with an open mind, and let me know if you agree that Dillane’s portrayal comes off as depressive rather than ‘creepy.’ And if not, why do you dislike his portrayal?
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Unpopular opinion that I'm pretty sure you're going to disagree with: in a fandom with as little fixed canon as Cats, having hard headcanons is a shame. There are so many possibilities to explore! You want to write/enjoy a ship, but you usually headcanon them as siblings? In this parallel universe, they aren't related. You want to write/enjoy a ship, but there is too much of an age gap? In this parallel universe one of them is aged up/down. You want to write/enjoy a character as evil/nice, but they aren't in your usual headcanons? In this parallel universe they are. A character can be young, old, jaded, naive, feral, polite, in love with this other, hate everyone.. all at the same time. <3
Cats has no established canon. Let's exploit it to its full potential.
I agree with this to an extent! However, saying that "Cats has no established canon" has always been something I have had mixed feelings about, in all honesty.
Here's what I personally think:
The siblings thing? I agree.
As someone who most of the time hcs Mistoffelees and Victoria as siblings, the 2019 movie obviously made me shift my thinking. That's the only universe where I see them as unrelated and in a relationship.
The Opera Populaire production is the only production where I see Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer as not being siblings, but i don't really see them as romantic partners, really just partners in crime.
Demeter and Bombalurina: 2019, I don't see them as siblings. it may be because they don't interact, they don't look alike, whatever the case may be! But there are definitely versions where I don't see them as sisters!
The age thing? I disagree for the most part.
I've said before, I believe, that the ages are pretty solid for me. I go off of the Wikipedia descriptions for the characters, and the ones who are listed as kittens (Jemima, Tumble, Pounce, Etcetera, Electra) are always kittens in my mind.
However, this is obviously a personal thing for me. I know plenty of people who see Mistoffelees (1998 in particular) as one of the younger cats, and therefore ship him with younger cats.(@storyweaverofgondor's Quaxo and Electra come to mind, and while I personally don't ship it, I think it's insanely adorable!!). Additionally, while I have a set age for Mungojerrie and Rumpleteazer, I know others don't! I've even personally written Munkojerrie shorts if requested, because I know that their ages aren't the same for everyone, and it's not part of my canon, so I feel okay writing it.
I'm not a huge fan of aging characters up or down, it's just always felt off to me, even before I joined the Cats fandom, and something I've seen a lot in other fandoms that I've been part of, and it made me feel uncomfortable even then. The aging up of characters, especially when it comes to shipping, just personally doesn't feel right to me.
The personality thing? I absolutely agree!
I've literally said so many times that my Human AU Macavity is VASTLY different to how I regularly hc Macavity! Human AU Macavity gets redemption, he gets his family (which i still need to write rip). Regular Macavity? He doesn't get redemption, he doesn't have any redeeming qualities.
Also, Human AU Grizabella is SO INSANELY DIFFERENT to how I usually write her in the regular Cats universe!!
I love seeing 2019 Bombalurina as some kind of crime lord, and (going back to the ship thing) the 2019-verse is the only place that I kind of ship Bombalurina and Rumpleteazer!
I definitely have one definitive family tree that I use for most of my writing/hcs, but if you go on my Ao3 to my collection of shorts, I have plenty of Mistoria stories, as well as plenty of Mistoffelees and Victoria sibling shorts (well... not yet, but I have some that I'll be posting soon!)
Cats has SOME kind of canon, most of the characters have specified ages, however relationship hcs, i think, are mostly blurred to the point where someone can ship Demelurina while another person sees them as siblings, or someone can ship Mistoffelees and Victoria while seeing them as siblings in another universe, or people can ship Mungoteazer while others see them as twins!
sorry this is a little long and rambly 😅
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fun-with-colors · 3 years
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Persona 5 Royal and “Poe’s Masquerade”
I recently (read: a few minutes ago) saw a post about how Beneath the Mask is a brilliant and tragic character study of Joker, and I felt compelled to talk about some of the awesome references in Persona 5 Royal (not sure if they’re all in the vanilla game, never played it.)
So, in Beneath the Mask, there’s the line “I’m a shapeshifter, at Poe’s Masquerade,” right? Which is a reference to Edgar Allan Poe’s The Masque of the Red Death. Seems like a pretty cut-and-dry thing, it ties into the theme of there not being anything beneath the mask, as was the case in Poe’s Masque. Well, I am here to tell you that that particular reference is anything but simple. It’s brilliant. 
Fair warning: this is gonna be a long post.
First off, some context on The Masque of the Red Death. It’s a short story where, basically, there’s this plague going on. It’s called the Red Death, it makes you sweat blood and die in less than an hour. Terribly contagious, the Red Death. So this rich guy gathers up all of his friends and allies to hole up in his abbey, and locks the gates behind them. A few months in, they decide to throw a rocking masquerade party. 
The party is structured as such: 
There are 7 rooms in order, each color-coded. Blue, then purple, then green, then orange, and then violet. The last room is black, and lit up by red lights. There’s a big imposing clock in the last room, and whenever it chimes the hour everyone stops partying until the clock is done, and then resumes. 
Everything’s going great while people are dying outside until midnight, when this new guy shows up in a gaudy red costume that looks like a corpse killed by the red death. The host chases this guy down with a dagger. They go through all the rooms, and once they reach the last room the host finally looks the mysterious stranger in the face, and instantly dies. The guests panic and remove the mask to see who it was, only to find that there was nothing there. The guests then all also die to the Red Death. 
Grim, right? Well, it also has a lot of striking similarities to Shido’s palace.
The basic premise of some rich asshole trying to save only his friends from the plague on the land, only this time the plague is one that he himself has orchestrated: the mental shutdowns. Those on his ship are safe from being permanently cancelled, while those who aren’t (like the Shujin principal) are not. 
The letters of introduction parallel the 7 rooms, since all of that preparation is in the eventual goal of unlocking the final room.
The guests on the ship are all wearing masks that look a heck of a lot like masquerade masks. 
The intruder, ie: the thieves. 
 as a last-ditch effort to kill the thieves, Shido takes a pill that will temporarily kill him, mirroring the moment when the host dies in The Masque of the Red Death. 
But wait! We’re not done!
That is just the first layer of references
This is why I said that it was gonna get super long. Strap in folks, because those references aren’t even an original choice that the game made. They’re INHERITED references. Also I have a lot to say, and am bad at being succinct. Well, they say that if you can’t be concise, you can at least be interesting, and I hope that I’ve managed that. 
Some more context:
Akechi is based off of the famous Japanese detective Akechi Kogoro. The author of the Akechi Kogoro stories is a man by the pen name of Edogawa Ranpo. If that name sounds familiar, it should. It is, as wikipedia puts it, “A rendering of [Edgar Allan] Poe’s name.” 
There is one Akechi Kogoro story, called Gold Mask (Or The Gold Mask, or The Golden Mask), that is especially relevant here. In it, Akechi goes up against the mysterious Gold Mask, who turns out to be none other than Arsene Lupin. 
It should not be surprising how many similarities there are, but I am somehow surprised nonetheless. 
These are some insane connections, y’all. I’m basically just gonna retell the events of the story because it’s mostly relevant anyways. It’s not even all about the red death thing. Also I just really like this section of the story. This is gonna get rambly, but bear with me here. 
Ok so first plot twist: this book also references The Masque of the Red Death. Big time. Like, there is a chapter titled “The Masque of the Red Death.”
The setting: a masquerade ball put on by the French Ambassador (The Count de Rouzieres). The ball takes place in seven chambers, in the same color order as in the original story. This time, however, they are set up so that one can only see one room at a time. Do note that the final room is described as making things look as though they are “somehow not of this world.”
The inevitable twist
Guess who shows up unannounced at the moment the clock strikes midnight? Ding ding ding! That’s right, it’s the Gold Mask. 
(The next chapter is called “The Gold Death”)
The investigator who had been Akechi’s sidekick (more on that later) chases after the Gold Mask, along with the Count and one other dude. 
I’m just gonna quote the book’s description of the third man. 
“It was impossible to identify the man on account of his eccentric costume. [...] He wore a form-fitting black shirt and trousers, black shoes, black socks, a black cloth on his head, the ends of which rose sharply into two long horns, and, of course a face mask.”
...Yeah. I was way more surprised to find out that that design is straight out of the source material than to find out who that mysterious third man was. (more on why akechi was disguised in a bit)
The Count is the first into the final room with the Gold Mask. No sooner does he enter than the other two men hear a gunshot. They run in, fearing the worst. 
Turns out it’s the Gold Mask who’s been shot by the Count. They pull off the mask and discover... the Count’s interpreter. One of the investigators declares that the interpreter must be the gold mask, and this all can be called off. The guy’s dying, everything’s fine. 
Suddenly, the man with the black mask starts laughing. They demand he removes his mask, he does so and reveals himself as Akechi Kogoro. Akechi insists that this man cannot be the Gold Mask, because Arsene Lupin is the gold mask.
Everyone else thinks he’s ridiculous, until he gets the dying interpreter to confess that yes, he was working for Arsene Lupin.
Now. The part that makes this all really funny is that as the interpreter is dying, he points out to Akechi who Arsene Lupin is (since Lupin has so many disguises as to not fundamentally have a true identity). The interpreter points to (dun dun duhDUH) The Count of Rouzieres, the French Ambassador to Japan. 
Obviously the police commissioner is finding that hard to believe, but when Akechi produces an envelope that he claims is evidence, he orders that the rest of the investigators and guests leave the room, so that it’s only him, the POV character, Akechi, and the Count. 
The letter is apparently from another well-known detective familiar with Arsene Lupin, full of evidence that proves that the Count of Rouzieres is actually Arsene Lupin. Incriminating stuff, blah blah blah. 
Arsene admits to being, well, arsene, and then proceeds to have a superficially amicable conversation with Akechi. He then pulls his gun out of nowhere and threatens to shoot akechi. Suddenly, the detective who supplied Akechi with the note (his name is Weber) jumps out of the clock mechanism behind Arsene and confiscates his gun. Arsene Lupin is about to be arrested, with no way out. One of the investigators pulls out his own gun on Arsene, and both Akechi and the police commissioner are very experienced in making arrests. Even beyond that, there’s an entire crowd of investigators waiting outside the only door. 
We cut to the aforementioned crowd of investigators, who have just noticed that the voices from inside the room have gotten very quiet. After knocking and hearing only silence, they decide to open the door.
The room is empty. 
We cut back to Arsene, who is acting very confident despite his precarious circumstances. He says that he has the power to create such a catastrophe as to make it impossible for them to arrest him, before calmly walking out of the only door in the room. 
The detectives call for the police officers outside to arrest Arsene, but... there doesn’t seem to be anyone there to do it. He locks the door to the room from the outside, and flees out of an open glass window and down a fire escape to his waiting allies. (very similar to the way Joker attempts to escape from the Casino, and VERY similar to how he ultimately escapes from the interrogation room.)
It turns out that the “black-velvet room” was actually a cleverly disguised elevator, with the mechanism in the clock. Arsene used the elevator to separate the detectives from the rest of the investigators, and to make his escape for real. It is SHOCKING to me that of all the things in persona 5, the interrogation room escape is ENTIRELY true to the source material. It’s wild. 
Anyways, I’ll stop there. I’ll probably make another post with all of the miscellaneous connections between the Gold Mask and Persona 5, since there are a lot. I’ve had this topic sitting in my brain for a while. 
Edit: I forgot to get to why Akechi was disguised. Well, it turns out that’s another connection: Akechi had been presumed dead. Everybody thought he had been shot. Turns out it was just a fake version of himself, a trick taken from Sherlock Holmes. (and one that shows up in Persona 5 Royal). He was taking advantage of the fact that everyone thought he was dead to get more info without being suspected. 
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fandomlurker · 3 years
Text
A Ponderous Rewatch: Pavlov’s Mice and Cameo
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So thanks to Tumblr nerfing my ability to make an admittedly absurdly long post combining the previous episode rewatch with this one, I had to do this entry in two parts.
But at least now we’re in for the real treat: The first episode in airing order that’s animated by TMS Entertainment. And hey, even the Animaniacs show itself seems to acknowledge that this is special, because theme song rhyme is…
We're Animanie! Totally insane-y!~
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Pinky and the Brainy!~
…which hasn’t been done since their debut. So this is gonna be fun.
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Might as well get this out of the way, then, since this episode obviously involves Ivan Pavlov. I think most people who know of Pavlov through cultural osmosis pretty much know him as just “that one scientist who got dogs to respond to the sound of bells as if they were being offered food”. This is what happened, but it’s only part of the story. In reality, Ivan Pavlov was doing research on the physiology of digestion in dogs and he noticed one day that the dogs he was studying started to drool in the mere presence of the lab technician who regularly fed them even if the technician didn’t have food with them. Pavlov developed a way to redirect the dogs’ digestive juices outside of the body so that they could be measured, and then he ran some conditioning experiments to see if he could get them to salivate in response to external stimuli that had nothing to do with food, like ringing a bell.
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The year in the title card, 1904, was the year Ivan Pavlov was awarded the Nobel Prize for the previously mentioned experiments, which he published the results of in “The Work of the Digestive Glands” in 1897. Basically, by 1904 he was done with his work with dogs and he moved on to experimenting with mice…at least according to this article in National Geographic by Virgina Hughes.
With that, let’s begin the episode proper.
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“At the dawn of the 20th century, Russian scientist, Ivan Pavlov, trained animals through his technique of conditioned reflex” says the narrator as we zoom in on a laboratory with Pavlov and our lovable mouse duo.
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“Time to earn your dinner, my little mousey friends!”
It’s interesting how Pinky is the one that flinches uncomfortably at the loud sound of the gong while Brain simply snaps into his conditioned response. And that response? Uhhh…
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“I’m a little teapot, short and stout.~”
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“This is my handle, this is my spout.~”
(Is he…you know…?)
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“When I get all steamed up, hear me shout!~”
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“Tip me over and pour me out.~”
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Oh no… This is a cute and funny scene and all, but when you know about Brain’s canonical issues with how he hates not being in control of a situation and all the traumas he’s endured (for those of you not in the know, yes, Brain does have a lot of trauma in his backstory that we learn about much later, both in the 90s spin-off and the reboot) regarding both general control and losing family and friends…there’s a bitter tinge to this scene.
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He’s so embarrassed and humiliated.
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He takes the cheese but he is positively fuming with rage, and I can’t exactly blame him from what I know about him.
This is made all the worse by Pinky’s innocent reaction to Brain’s little song and dance.
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“Hahahahaha! Wonderful! Hahaha! EGAD, Brain, I could watch you do that dance all day! Haha, narf!”
For Pinky, this is harmless silliness and he gets to see Brain sing and dance and “have fun”, which is not a usual occurrence. But for Brain? Well...
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“You have watched it all day, Pinky. Sixty-one times, to be exact. It’s a conditioned reflex to that infernal gong.”
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“I’m powerless to stop it!”
Well, Brain, at the very least it’s not like you were a part of a more inhumane experiment like one regarding, say, learned helplessness or anything. …Oh wait. Whoops. (For those sensitive to animal abuse, I suggest refraining from clicking on the second link, and caution against clicking on the first if even more clinical text descriptions of such would upset you. The third link is spoilers for the reboot.)
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All that aside, it seems like it’s Pinky’s turn. He gets the more traditional bell chime for his stimulus.
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And the result is him going into an uncontrollable and very enthusiastic Slavic folk dance.
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With violent results. I hope you appreciate that last screencap, as the animation goes by so quickly I had a lot of trouble isolating the part where Pinky kicks Brain and he goes flying.
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Pinky is all too happy to get a reward of cheese, his favourite food, for doing something that he has no memory of.
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“What’cha doin’ over there, Brain?”
“Contemplating your afterlife, Pinky.”
That’s not exactly fair, Brain, you know he has no control over this. To Brain’s credit, though, he doesn’t bop him or anything for kicking him involuntarily.
Pavlov leaves, playfully saying that he hopes the mice dream of cheese tonight, and the mice are immediately down to business.
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“At last, he’s gone.”
“Now we can begin our conquest of the world!”
We’re already back to it being “our” conquest of the world, eh?
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“Behold my latest creation, Pinky: The Vacuum-o-nator.”
Brain has never been good with naming things, has he? At least, not so far. I wonder if this will continue throughout the franchise?
Pinky is certainly very happy and impressed, though.
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“It uses reverse air pressure to vacuum everything toward it.”
You know, I was just about to roast Brain for thinking that making a very odd version of a vacuum cleaner was such a brilliant thing, but then I remembered that this takes place in 1904. The vacuum cleaner as we know it was “invented independently by British engineer Hubert Cecil Booth and American inventor David T. Kenney” in 1901 according to Wikipedia, and portable vacuums were available to the general public starting in 1905.My apologies, Brain, that actually is very impressive.
Although, this all hinges on if the viewer considers episodes that take place in the past and/or at different locations than Acme Labs California to be mere Alternate Universe/What If? stories or Brain and Pinky using some kind of time machine to go to a different place and time for these episodes. (Before you tell me that this is just a cartoon and sicc the Please, Please Get a Life Foundation on me, I do this to have fun and maybe educate myself and the reader along the way. I promise I have a life. Barely.)
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“Are you thinking what I’m thinking, Pinky?”
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“Uhh… Yeah, Brain! But where are we gonna find rubber pants our size?”
Pinky, that’s… Listen, folks, don’t make the same mistake I did and google “rubber pants”. It’s not what you think it is. You will be disappointed.
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BONK!
Seems like you’re enjoying yourself there, Pinky.
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“No, Pinky. We’re going to use the Vacuum-o-nator to steal Russia’s crown jewels!”
Man, the animation for even this one small proclamation by Brain is so, so good. Brain standing authoritatively and holding the pen like a scepter or spear, the grand sweep of his arm as he says “no”, the serious and slightly menacing expression on his face, a violent and grabby swing of his arm on the word “steal”,  and a dramatic point and look up towards the sky when he finishes. TMS does great work, folks.
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“Narf! Genius, Brain!”
Look at Brain’s satisfied smile at Pinky’s simple compliment. Remember what I said earlier about Brain going through his explanations to show off to and  impress Pinky? At this point I’m absolutely convinced that that’s why Brain turns up the theatrics more than necessary when going through his plans. After all, Pinky is (oddly and rather sadly) the only one in-universe who thinks Brain is a genius and a good person.
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…Of course, the effect can sometimes be lessened by subsequent innocent bumbling.
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“Turn it off, Pinky.”
He says this so exasperatedly yet so deadpan at the same time, it’s great.
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“Oh! Right-o!”
Even Pinky immediately knows that he fucked up.
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“Zort! Whew! Wild hairdo, Brain! Heh heh, I like it.”
He even pets Brain’s “hairdo”, aww. And though I personally could take or leave the ‘do, I like the pointed, sharp look this mishap’s given to his ears.
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BONK!
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“Now I feel cleansed.”
Okay, this one might have been a little too much, Brain.
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“But Brain, aren’t the crown jewels always guarded by giant Cossacks?”
Well, Pinky, from what I know Cossacks were usually used extensively in the police force and as border guards during this time, so I guess that’s possible?
Brain picking the lock with the pen is a fun little detail.
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“Don’t worry about the guards… For tonight, Pinky, at precisely 1 am, there’s a total lunar eclipse. “
Again, this is probably not a thing the average person could look up quickly and easily in the 90s and the writers most likely didn’t care about accuracy here, but there were no total lunar eclipses in 1904. There were some penumbral lunar eclipses in March and September of that year, though. Just a fun fact for you folks.
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“The Earth’s shadow will completely cover the moon, blacking out all of St. Petersburg for a period of 30 seconds.”
Brain…?!? Brain, how did you get the diagram on that piece of paper to animate like that? What kind of Harry Potter-style magic bullshit is this?
I know this is a cartoon and all and I’m not truly upset but this honestly came out of nowhere and made me do a double-take.
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“In that brief time, we will sneak past the Czar’s guards under the cover of darkness and steal the crown jewels…for he who controls the jewels controls Mother Russia!”
More dramatics!
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“But…I thought your mother’s name was Désirée?”
I love Brain’s pose here. Very grumpy and sassy.
As for Pinky’s comment: We do get to meet Brain’s parents way later in the spin-off, though neither are addressed by any name. I’m taking this joke as canon anyway because it’s funny.
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Well, well, well… Looks like we’re shaking things up a bit with an inking instead of a bonk. That’s gonna be a pain to get out of his white fur, though.
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“Soon, Pinky, I will rule Russia…so from now on, call me Czar.”
Another sassy hand-on-hip pose.
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“Right-o, Brain!”
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“—eek! Czar Brain!”
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“Come along, Pinky… Conquest awaits!”
Nice to know that despite the inking, Pinky’s still following him anyway. Plus he’s doing it with that fond look on his face again. Hmm…
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What follows is a cute and ingenious sequence of Brain launching Pinky and himself through an open window via the spring force of a mousetrap. It goes by very quickly, but I just wanted to highlight a few things I managed to notice while pausing through it. Kudos to the animators again for these little details.
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Pinky’s the one that wraps one arm around Brain’s shoulders so that Brain has both hands free to spring the mousetrap properly and so that they’ll be launched together.
Interestingly enough, Pinky’s the cautious one who braces for impact right away while Brain gleefully flies through the air with his arms outstretched.
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The “camera” changes perspective and while Brain is still boldly flying forward with confidence, Pinky is still worried but has now opened his eyes as they fly towards the window.
Pinky’s still holding onto Brain and the Vacuum-o-nator as tight as he can. As they get closer to the window, however…
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…Pinky seems to realize he’s going to smash into the wall above the window if he doesn’t let go, so he lets go of Brain. Brain doesn’t realize where his trajectory is taking him.
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Pinky angles himself downward and through the open window, but it’s too late for Brain.
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WHAM! RIP, Brain.
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But his pain is not done! It looks like Pinky’s landing was in the soft snow. Meanwhile, Brain slides down onto the window and through the opening, only to bash into the lid of a garbage can, much to Pinky’s concern.
Then Brain falls headfirst into the snow.
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And finally, Brain is clonked on the head by the same garbage can lid, which makes a loud gong noise. Someone get this poor mouse some Aspirin.
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But since there was a gong noise, you all know what that means!
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Cutely, Pinky joins in on the dance in the middle of it.
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“Ha! Oh that was fun, Czar Brain! But let’s give it another go, right? Only this time with feeling!”
Man, that side-eye at the beginning from Brain…
Pinky’s body language is great in this episode, too. The gleeful flapping of his arms and feet and the “with feeling” gesture are fantastic examples of his more open and energetic nature coming through.
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Oh hey, there’s that one shot of Brain being ticked off used in the spin-off theme song! I can’t exactly blame him for his anger here. He just went through a lot of pain in a short amount of time and was then involuntarily made to humiliate himself. Pinky doesn’t mean to be mean here—he genuinely wants to have some sing and dance fun with Brain—but it’s gotta sting to have the humiliation highlighted.
Pinky still doesn’t deserve a bonking for it, though. But it’s slapstick, so he’s fine.
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Heh, “deliveries to rear” indeed.
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Oh, are those jingle bells on a sleigh that I see?
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Uh oh…
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“No, Pinky… Not now!”
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It cannot be stopped, Brain. He must dance!
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Another quick detail as Brain launches himself at Pinky’s midsection to either topple him over or hold him still to get Pinky to stop.
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Alas, Pinky’s dancing is too strong.
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OUCH!
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The face of regret.
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His punishment is swiftly thwarted, though.
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“…That was unpleasant.”
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They take a different and more uneventful ride on a hay wagon to the palace.
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I love the exaggerated perspective going on here.
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Peekin’.
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“We made it inside, Brain!”
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“…’Czar Brain’.”
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“Czar Brain.”
He says it so quietly and sweetly, aww.
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“Yes, Pinky. There are fleeting moments when I even amaze myself.”
I…don’t know if it’s much of an accomplishment yet, Brain. Settle that ego down a bit.
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Oh, that’s some classic Looney Tunes-style sneaking animation there.
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Wait, why is the door to the treasure room just open behind them? Czar Nicolas II, what gives?
Speaking of…
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Hello, Czar Nicolas II. I hope you’re enjoying your “eclipse party”. You only have another 14 years or so to live it up, after all.
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“In just a few minutes, it’ll be totally dark and scary. OooOOoo!~ But don’t anyone touch me, I have cooties!”
I, uhhh. Okay, then.
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Same, boys. Same. Best to get down to business.
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“Behold the crown jewels of Mother Russia, Pinky. World conquest will soon be ours!”
Again, world conquest is “ours” and not just Brain’s. Also you can just tell Pinky’s thinking “I’m going to wear so much of this jewelry!”
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“Now, Brain?”
“Not yet. Wait for the total eclipse.”
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Speaking of…
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“Complete darkness, Pinky. Start the Vacuum-o-nator…”
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“NOW!”
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That gonging noise is an interesting choice for a chime. Surely this ornate clock is only an omen of good things for our duo.
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Pinky, you’re swooning again. And Brain…
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Oh no.
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Another clock! Who’d have thought Russian nobility loved clocks so much? This one has a more pleasant bell chime, though.
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…Oh NO!
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Well, looks like things are going to hell pretty quickly.
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Goodbye, boys.
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Goodbye, Czar Nicolas II! You might wanna look out for a man named Grigori Rasputin in the future, okay?
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Nice hat, Brain.
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“Whu--? The eclipse is over? Narf! What happened, Brain?”
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BONK!
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“Zort! I mean, Czar Brain.”
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“We failed again, Pinky… But just wait until tomorrow night!”
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“Why? What are we going to do tomorrow night, Brain?”
“What else, Pinky?: Try to take over the world!”
It was a nice try, boys, but honestly I don’t know how you were going to fit all those crown jewels into that tiny improvised vacuum bag, anyway.
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One last cute little detail in this episode is our mousey duo jumping up with enthusiastic determination in front of the silhouette of the moon on the last note of the theme reprise. One day, you guys. One day…
Oh! And before I forget, have another short cameo from “Plane Pals”. It’s a tiny one.
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Pinky and the Brain steal a sheep off of an airplane. For what purpose? Who knows? But that’s it. I’m kind of wondering if the writers wanted to make a running joke of them making cameos to steal random things for world conquering purposes and just sort of gave up.
Anyway, so ends our recap for this post. It sure was a long one, but what can I say? There were some very cute details that needed to be shared. Have we learned anything new this time? Well, I mean, besides historical trivia.
Brain thinks both he and Pinky are great actors, despite his own near inability to lie and keep up an innocent pretense. Oh, he can be sarcastic, sure, but he can’t seem to manage to stop himself from revealing that he’s out for world  domination whenever he has an audience.
For the first time we see Brain’s annoyance and humiliation resulting from him being a lab mouse. Though it’s on the more subtle side at the moment, Brain seemed extra grumpy and violent during that last     episode because of the conditioning he’s unwillingly gone through. I’m     curious to see if there are any more examples of this before we reach an  episode touching on his origin story. Or…one of his origin stories, at     least. There’s around four of them last I checked and all but one of them  can reasonably fit into the others.
Pinky is truly beginning to show how much he adores Brain, which is nice. Beforehand we knew he was down with his world domination plans for whatever reason and also that he thinks Brain’s plans are great and ingenious. Now, though, we’ve gotten to the point of him literally swooning at Brain and his plans. Something’s definitely brewing there.
Next time: We get some more substantial cameos, join our mouse duo on a Fort Knox heist, and meet a new character that is both pretty important to the “lore” of the show going forward…but also doesn’t appear in person after their introductory episode until the very end of the Animaniacs and Pinky and the Brain spin-off run.
See you then!
47 notes · View notes
snackhobi · 3 years
Note
Hi! I read your fic “catch your drift” a while ago and I absolutely adored it! One thing that really stuck out to me was the way you really seemed to know what you were talking about, the amount of research you probably did was insane!
I was wondering, with a niche subject like that, how did you do your research for that? What kind of media did you watch/read to learn more about it? I’ve been thinking of writing a story like that myself, but I have no idea where to start. It’s writers like you that inspire me to put extra care into my stories, because it always shows at the end! You’re an amazing writer, I can’t wait to see what else you put out in the future <3
hi lovely! okay, first of all, I want to say thank you so much for enjoying cyd but also for noticing all the details!! I did do quite a bit of research (I fell down a rabbit hole, really) and it’s nice to know that it makes the world feel realistic/makes it seem that I knew what I was talking about 💕
for me, when it comes to doing research for subjects I’m not familiar with, I sort of have two overarching segments: 1) the technical details, and 2) the visual details. I’ll break down exactly what I mean by those, using examples from cyd (though I wrote the story over a year ago so I might miss some bits and pieces, hopefully it should help to give you an idea 🥰) (under a cut because WHOO did I go on for a bit) -
1) the technical details
I’m not a drift racer, so honestly, I did a lot of googling and digging around for things! my first stop was wikipedia, which gave me a general idea of what drifting was like/involved, and then I delved deeper from there (because it only really talks about the official drifting competitions, which is obviously different to an underground community). I found articles from car magazines that spoke about the underground tweaking/drifting community in south korea and japan, so I knew they were reputable sources (or that they at least knew what they were talking about!). that’s how I got my details on the types of car they use in that community, on what it’s like to be a drifter over there. I found websites that broke down drifting jargon so I had a dictionary to refer to. I also watched youtube videos of people who’d visited the underground meets, so I got a feel of what it was like/they would often talk about the specs of each car, which helped as well.
I remember I got details of the area around seoul/the main drifting areas from the articles I mentioned, but I also looked at a map and did some googling for areas that seemed to work for what I already had in mind (like the meet in yongsan, which has a US military base, hence why the driver there had a mustang - another american car).
stuff like this does take time to research but I like to write about subjects I enjoy/find interesting so it’s fun to read up on it!!
the reason why I think of these as the technical details is because they’re facts related to the subject I’m talking about (drifting/life in south korea/the car community there etc). it’s the nitty gritty stuff. not only do I try to find relevant terminology, I also try to read around the subject enough to know how that terminology is then used; if I’m not sure, then I avoid using it. (it’s sort of like in movies when you see someone playing a video game, and they’re using the wrong controller for the wrong console and the game on screen doesn’t match up with what the person is doing - it’s like you have all the relevant parts, but when you put them together, it’s clear that you don’t know what you’re talking about. you know? if in doubt, leave it out.)
the visual details are a bit different.
2) the visual details
this is a bit more of a vague thing and I might not describe it very well, but visual details are usually visual references/things that give me an idea of how to describe how something looks/feels, rather than the actual moving parts inside it. I’ve never watched fast and furious or need for speed, BUT I already knew that they existed, so I looked up videos of races in them for an idea of how everything looked/felt. (sort of related to the videos I mentioned above of the car meets, but, yes.) I also watched other drifting videos from competitions, and I looked up images/videos of the cars I mentioned in the story, so I could describe them in a way that would feel accessible but also interesting? for example the sentence “2007 Solstice GXP” probably doesn’t mean anything to someone who doesn’t know about cars, but if you then describe it being shorter than other cars and how it drifts around corners, that’s the focal point of the scene. it’s all in the visual description vs the technical name. a visual detail is immediately accessible because you’re describing what someone can see, which doesn’t require any foreknowledge of the subject.
obviously a lot of this will vary dependant on what your personal style is like, but if I drop in specific terminology that I think a reader might not know, I’ll then explain it, too. so it’s mixing the visual with the technical. here’s an example: “he throws you off when he slings himself out of a turn and slides into a choku-dori, the zig-zagging motion of his car catching you off guard” - choku-dori is the name of a specific drifting move, but I don’t expect people to know that, which is why I then describe the zig-zagging motion; it relates a visual detail (accessible) to a technical one (probably not as accessible).
(pinterest can be fantastic for reference pictures, dependent on your topic. I’ll save visual references for quick refs if I find ones I like!)
so, for me, with any subject, it’s about researching what you need to know about the topic you’re writing about, and researching how to then make it come across in your story in a way that’s interesting, and accessible, and makes sense. honestly, a lot of my research is googling, and reading, and learning key terms from that reading, which then means I can research more effectively, which is an ongoing cycle for each story I have going on. sometimes you’ll do far more research than comes up in the final product, but it’s better to have too much than not enough! I know it can feel daunting to start with, coming at a subject that you might not know anything about, but for the most part googling things is enough to trick people into thinking you’re an expert 🤭 (although if there are any drifting experts out there who are laughing at my newbie slip ups or whatever then I apologise and also you will be forever cooler than me 🤧)
one other source of references which I think might not occur to people is other fanfic. obviously don’t plagiarise, but if you wanted to write a drifting story, you could use places/terminology/cars from catch your drift as a springboard for your own research, for example! (you said you’ve been thinking about “writing a story like that” and if you mean a drifting one, feel free to drop me another message because I’ve still saved a bunch of the links I used to reference from! I didn’t save all of them bc I’m a clown but I have at least enough to give you an idea of what it’s like ✨)
I hope that made sense!! and if you need me to clarify something or explain it in a way that’s not garbled and rambly, honestly please drop into my inbox any time! good luck!
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La Pomme ~ Chapter Seven
Pairing: Sam x OC (eventual Dean x OC and Dean x Castiel. And I mean eventual.)
Series summary: George is a casual French-Mistake-universe Supernatural fan living in no-COVID 2020, who's life is upended when she's suddenly launched between realities, two years into the boys' past (S13E22). What begins as an insane, immersive fan experience turns into more when Jack goes missing and George offers up her AU information to help track him down. Soon it's discovered that she and Sam may actually have history. But that's impossible, right?
Word Count: 11,800
Warnings: {smut, fluff, angst, show level violence, swearing, mentions of suicide} ***Detailed warnings will be tagged for specific chapters.
A/N: Following the events of my prequel Paradise and second story From My Eyes Off. Reading those first gives context but isn’t necessary to start this one.
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Sam, Dean, and Castiel had been stomping around the bunker determinedly for the past hour looking for Jack.
After getting back from being Michael's pack mule the evening prior, Dean had gone to talk to him, but he wasn't in his room. He searched a few other places and when he came up empty, he went to Sam and Cas. When they joined the search and all three came up empty, they began to worry.
"Anything?" Sam asked as Dean and Castiel both returned to the map table room from opposite sides of the bunker.
"Nothing," Castiel admitted with a defeated tone.
"No one's seen him since yesterday. The few people I saw either saw him in his room playing video games or getting food from the kitchen," Dean added, his tone was worried-angry. He couldn't help but mutter in annoyance, "Can't believe you let him get video games."
"So, no one saw him leave?" Sam asked for confirmation, ignoring his grump brother, and the two other men shrugged in hesitant affirmation.
"Alright, well let's regroup. We'll do a quick full sweep together, talk to everyone we see, and look for any sign of him or an explanation," Sam decided. "If that comes up empty-"
"We'll hit the streets. Let's start in his room; if he did leave on his own, maybe he left a note and I missed it." Dean reasoned before the three of them went to search together.
They spent the better part of 15 minutes tearing the room apart and had yet to find anything useful.
"There's nothing here, guys," Sam shook his head frustratedly, setting the mattress back down on the bed.
"Certainly no explanation for where he went," Castiel added dejectedly, closing the dresser drawer he'd been searching through.
"The problem is, there is something here." Dean gestured to the room and said, "all of Jack's stuff. It doesn't even seem like so much as a pair of shoes is missing."
"Haven't found his phone yet," Sam pointed out frustratedly as he tried calling him once more, "not that he's answering it."
As the three stood there watching him call again, the door started to open and they all turned hopefully. When they saw Tim-one of the camp refugees-stick his head in instead of Jack, there was a collective shoulder slump.
Tim was in his late 40s but looked much older. He had a 80s punk style, with torn up, oversized dark pants, a black and white ragdoll band shirt, and huge black boots. Tim completed the look with a short green mohawk attop his head, long ZZ Top, salt-and-pepper beard, a spiked collar and matching spike through his nose.
Dean didn't like him.
"Tim?" Sam acknowledged the man when he spotted the group.
Dean watched Tim's surprised expression closely as he addressed Sam, "Oh, hey, Chief! What's shakin'?" He looked at the other two men and Dean noted a slight sweat begin to form on his forehead. He gulped and asked, "Jack here?"
Sam frowned, "No. Have you seen him?"
Tim seemed nervous, "Uhh, not since yesterday. He let me borrow his headphones," he reached into his pocket and held up the pair of headphones, "so I was just returning them."
"When exactly did you last see him?" Came the gruff follow up from Dean as Sam reached out and took the offered headphones.
"Late last night? He was playing video games with that dumpy, frigid gal."
"'Frigid'?" Castiel questioned. He thought it was an odd choice of descriptor. Sam wasn't pleased with Tim's choice of words either, but for different reasons.
Tim nodded, "Yea, ya know, tall, blonde, cute face but real icy, like she's better than you even though she's got a little too much junk in the trunk."
Dean and Sam shared a disgusted expression before Dean asked, "Full of opinions about her body but don't know her name, huh? Stay classy, Timmy."
"I assume he's referring to George," Sam offered with an annoyed tone.
"There's a woman named George?" Dean wondered.
"She's new, from the camps. She's been... connecting with Jack," Sam explained vaguely to his skeptical brother, though it came out a bit wrong.
Tim shrugged nonplussed, "Never caught her name, but she's always hanging around the kid. A little too much if you ask me," Tim gave them 'the eyes' and Sam narrowed his in disbelief at what the guy was insinuating.
"Wait, so first this girl is frigid and now you're saying she's… what? Lusting after Jack?" Dean asked dubiously.
"She's not a girl, she's our age," Sam corrected and then added, "Also, I doubt she was doing anything inappropriate." He didn't want to say why he doubted it, because it was none of Dean's damn business.
Tim hesitated and then said, "Look, all I know is I came by last night to borrow his headphones and the two of them were on the bed playing video games. They looked awful close to me. And she seemed pissed when I showed up, like I was interrupting something."
Of course Sam was not inclined to believe this story. Based on his own personal experiences with her, he was almost positive it wasn't Jack she was interested in. That was even more true if she was the woman he'd dreamt about so long ago. Which she obviously wasn't considering she was from an alternate reality. And she was real, whereas the dream, of course, hadn't been. So, it made no sense and he hadn't really allowed himself to entertain those thoughts since he first thought about it.
And, to be fair, he had been very wrong about women in the past.
"Interrupting what, exactly?" Sam demanded to know.
"I don't know, Chief. But when I left, I heard her asking him if he was 'ready to go'," His eyes were wide for emphasis and there was a creepy smirk on his face.
"Go where?" Castiel asked quickly, missing the innuendo. Tim just bounced his eyebrows in response and the three men frowned and shared curious expressions. Sam's expression was more doubtful than the others.
After a long pause Dean asked dubiously, "Jack doesn't even know how to do that… right?" None of them knew, and there was an awkwardly long silence before they realized Tim was giving them all a strange expression.
"Need anything else?" Tim asked, inching away from the doorway, "I'm supposed to meet up with Jules for a hunt."
"Tell Jules you need to sit this one out and don't leave the bunker," Dean demanded. "We might have more questions for you later."
Tim nodded in understanding, starting to back out of the room again, "And just, by the way, she isn't from the camps."
"Sorry?" Sam asked in confusion. "She's not?"
Tim shook his head, "No, sir. As second in command of third-shift security detail, it was my job to know everyone. I'd never seen her until I came here. Figured she was one of yours," with a shrug, he left.
"Alright, well we need to find whoever George is. Now!" Dean started to leave and Sam stopped him.
"Hold on, you believe his story?" He asked with a frown. He realized he barely knew her but… he felt connected to her. Dean and Castiel looked at him for a reason not to and he explained, "Listen, I know her-kind of. I-I've seen her with Jack and there's nothing that-"
"So, maybe Punk Rock Douche is wrong about things being inappropriate, but he says he heard her ask Jack if he was ready to go, and now Jack's not here, so..." Dean shrugged and Sam nodded begrudgingly. He couldn't disagree with that logic, so off they went.
As the three of them searched for George they became increasingly concerned. Just as Tim said, none of the camp refugees knew her, other than to say that they'd seen someone matching her description 'lurking' or 'sneaking' around the bunker after they showed up. They didn't know her name, they all swore she didn't come from Apocalypse World, and they had no idea where she was staying.
Sam became more and more deflated the more people they spoke to. On one hand, he didn't want to believe a word Tim had said about her, because most of them were awful. And in the admittedly limited amount of time he'd spent with her, he found her to be nothing but pleasant. And charming... Adorable. Incredibly kind hearted, but intensely competitive in a way that amused him. Had his instincts about her really been this off? Was she that good at duping him? Or, he worried, was he that good at being duped?
On the other hand, if she really was from this reality and just snuck into their bunker and lied to them about it, why? Certainly dreaming about her made a bit more sense now that she was of his reality, but was that a good thing or a bad thing? A happy coincidence or Gabriel's weird attempt at a long con? Or had the dream been real after all?
Why was he so bad with women?
Jack's phone had been blowing up with calls from Sam for the last two hours, so George figured it was time to return it. He had let her borrow it the night before when she'd mentioned wanting to listen to music. Really, though, she was trying to get in contact with Rowena regarding her trip home. She'd heard hide nor hair of the crazy redheaded witch since she'd left her there weeks ago, promising to find a way to get George home "in no time." She'd been here so long now that she'd DONE LAUNDRY. More than once! And-fun fact-the 70+ year old bunker didn't have an electric dryer! She'd have to remember to add that little factoid to Wikipedia when she got back.
Truthfully, though, being there had been like the world's best vacation from her normal life. Other than missing her friends and inexplicably worrying about the wellbeing of her students, she felt amazing. The meds she typically took to regulate her anxiety and depression had been left back at home but surprisingly she hadn't needed them. Maybe because the situation was so crazy exciting she didn't have time to be anxious or depressed? Whatever the reason, her new environment was strangely comfortable.
However, she knew the longer she was there the more dangerous the situation became. So, when Jack and her started to become friendly, she spotted an opportunity to try and get in contact with Rowena. Using the ruse of wanting to listen to music, he let her borrow the phone and made sure to give her the headphones. Which, she now couldn't find. Considering she had no way to replace them, she was kicking herself for losing them.
She checked the nooks and crannies of her tiny room one more time before giving up. Hoping Jack would take pity on her, she grabbed his phone and headed for his room. As she walked the now familiar path, her attention was on the phone, checking the messages again. She let out a frustrated growl when she saw that there were still no replies.
Texting Rowena once more to let her know that she was giving the phone back to Jack and not to respond, she added, "But DO get back here and get me home. NOW! Please?" before deleting all the texts she'd sent.
As George huffed frustratedly, she turned the phone off and looked up finally. The second her attention wasn't on the phone, all the hairs on the back of her neck stood up and she got a sick feeling in her stomach. She was being followed. As she took a sharp turn toward the kitchen, she caught a glimpse of Dean-turned-Michael skulking behind her. Her heart started beating faster, all the blood felt like it drained from her body and a cold sweat broke out on her forehead. The thought that this must be what true terror felt like briefly popped into her head. Just as her vision began tunneling, she found the strength to move her wobbly legs and dart into the kitchen.
Unfortunately for her, there had been a small bunker party the night before; beer bottles littered the floor. She just happened to kick right into a small pile, sending three bottles crashing across the room. The echoing clangs made her feel nauseous and dread began spreading through her chest.
Nice and stealthy.
A large cleaver sitting atop a cutting board on the prep table caught her attention. Thinking quickly, she lunged for it and then flung herself back across the room to the entryway. She slammed clumsily against the wall with a clear, obvious thud. The cleaver was clutched against her heaving chest. Doing her best to catch her breath quietly, she tried to listen for his approach. Unfortunately, the loud, obnoxious sound of her own blood rushing was muting her surroundings.
Aftering standing poised and ready for attack for what felt like a crazy long time, George finally-slowly-peaked her head around to check the hallway. From her vantage point she could see very clearly down the left hall and hadn't seen anyone moving since she got there. Her breath was held almost unconsciously as more and more of the right hall came into view. Her grip tightened on the cleaver and she slowly raised it on instinct, but it didn't take her long to see that Dean-Michael wasn't there.
Maybe he passed me while I was panicking? It didn't make much sense to her but she hesitated to put too much thought into it. Every molecule of her body was screaming for her to run back and hide, but she knew she had to find Sam and warn him.
Lowering the cleaver quickly, she shoved her hand in her pocket and ripped out Jack's phone. She'd planned to text Sam a 911. Just happened to turn her head half an inch at the right time when she saw a flash of plaid and scruff flying at her from inside the kitchen behind her. The phone dropped from her hand in surprise and she swiped the cleaver on instinct.
Her reaction was surprisingly effective as the blade connected and sliced the underside of Dean's arm. Unfortunately, it also came too late; he was too close. He grabbed her hand with his good arm and twisted the weapon out of her fingers painfully. Using his grip on her hand, he easily flipped her around, wrapped his-now bleeding-arm around her neck and locked both arms together.
As she struggled against the tight chokehold, she tried to fight the panic that was building. Scratching and clawing as his arm and struggling to breathe, she tried to drop her weight. When he followed her down without loosening his grip, she tried lifting her legs up off the ground in desperation. To her shock, he easily lifted her back upright. Almost without thinking, George kicked her legs out. When they connected with the opposite wall, she pushed with all her might.
Dean stumbled backward. When he made contact with the wall behind him, she felt more than heard a deep, rumbly-perhaps annoyed-groan escape him. Unfortunately, however, his grip around her neck didn't loosen and her vision was starting to tunnel. Digging her nails hard into his arm, she felt him grunt in pain again but there was nothing more she could do. With the lack of oxygen, George's body started going limp as she quickly began passing out.
He finally let go, just before she was totally out, laying her down on the floor. She was vaguely aware of some shuffling noises, a long stretch of silence, and then her limp body was lifted up and tossed over his shoulder like a bag of rice. Mercifully, air was flowing into her lungs again but she couldn't focus on much. He was carrying her through the hallways, at a determined pace, for a while. Turning into a room finally, she was aware of lights being turned on and metal scraping against the floor.
The next thing she knew she was being set down unceremoniously in a chair. It was an ancient, mostly metal chair with an old, worn leather seat. Her head flopped forward limply. As she struggled to regain her senses, Dean used her weakened state to affix her arms and legs to the chair with handcuffs. Then he stuffed a folded bandana into her mouth and tied it around the back of her head.
Suddenly, she felt him sprinkling her with something wet. Slowly lifting her head up, she saw him approaching her with a small, shiny blade. Normally, she'd freak out but she was still recovering from the lack of oxygen. Mercifully, all he did was press the blunt side of the blade against the skin of her arm. When she noticed the curious expression on his face, she realized what he was doing. Assuming the blade was silver, she realized the earlier liquid had probably been holy water.
The stars dancing in George's vision had finally cleared when Sam appeared in the doorway. As he walked in, her eyes went wide and her heart stopped. She started shouting incoherently behind the gag and there was a loud clanking sound as she tried to lift her hands and wave him out. Sam froze, looking at her in concern, then looking at Dean questioningly, then back to her.
The sight of George tied to a chair with a gag in her mouth registered slowly for him. He recognized her sitting there, dressed in a long sleeve black ribbed Henley t-shirt and khaki shorts. It took a moment of looking at her-perhaps distracted again by the bright artwork on the pale skin of her thick thigh-to notice the handcuffs and gag.
He jerked his head angrily toward his brother, "Really, Dean?! I told you to go easy! What the hell is this?!"
George stopped screaming in surprise when she heard Sam call him Dean, "'Ah'ss-eeennnn?!"
Dean raised an eyebrow, glancing over at George, and shrugged indifferently, "She had Jack's phone. And she has a secret hideout in our bunker that we didn't know existed." Sam looked shocked and turned to look at her quickly, then back at Dean when he lifted his arm to show off a bandage and added, "And she attacked me with a cleaver!"
"I-'hawt-ooo-err-'IKE-UHL!"
Sam listened carefully and then gave Dean an exasperated expression, "She thought you were Michael, you idiot. Of course, she attacked you! She probably thought you were going to kill her." Still, Sam hesitated to let her out of the cuffs immediately. He had to be sure.
Just then, Cas walked in with a piece of paper in his hand, "Other than a few clothes and food wrappers, her room was pretty bare. Like, Sam's room but with slightly more warmth. I did find this though. It appears to be a spell of some kind." George raised a confused eyebrow, watching them closely.
"A spell?" Sam was starting to get concerned. He definitely hadn't expected her to be a witch. A witch working with Gabriel would explain the dream situation though, he thought a bit disappointedly. He ignored that for that time being though. If the dream had been real, it wasn't a can of worms he wanted to open just yet.
Cas nodded, "I'm having trouble figuring out what it means, I think it's written in code. From what I can tell, the intended effect is to debilitate something called a 'pull out game?'" There was a muffled groan from behind the gag, as all the color drained from George's face.
"What?" Sam asked, confused. Castiel passed the paper to Sam to inspect.
"Some kind of a sports term?" Dean muttered with a frown, trying to read it over Sam's shoulder. "What's W-A-P?" Another loud groan escaped her lips.
Cas shrugged, "It's hard to follow because the context jumps around. I'm still trying to decipher it. I think it mentions some ingredients: weed-which I believe to be a colloquial reference to the plant cannabis, a king cobra-doesn't specify alive or dead-and something called 'punani Dasani'." As Sam scanned the page his eyes got wider and wider, then he quickly looked away from it.
George was struggling against her bindings even harder now, "Iss 'ought a ss'ell, iss a soo'g!"
Sam set the paper down on the table and walked over to her, taking the gag off. Dean quickly swooped up the paper and started reading.
As soon as her mouth was free, George shouted, "It's not a spell! It-"
"What's a 'Kegel'?" Sam, Cas, and George all turned to look at Dean's confused expression with a concerned look of their own.
Cas answered, "It's a type of exercise for strengthening pelvic muscles." Dean still looked confused. Sam and George looked surprised that Cas knew that and he added, "I assume it's used as part of the ritual for the spell?"
"Oh my god, it's NOT a spell!" George cried, blushing from head to toe.
Cas narrowed his eyes, "If it's not a spell then-"
"It's lyrics!"
"Lyrics?" Sam asked.
"Yes! Lyrics; for a song!" All three of them looked skeptical.
"A song by who, Chris Brown?!" Dean asked doubtfully.
George suddenly looked offended, "What?! No! It was written by women!"
"Written by women?!" Dean's head tilted questioningly and he stuttered, "'Beat it up, catch a charge?' 'Not looking for a fight, but I'm looking for a beating?' 'I want to gag, I want to choke, I-'" Sam rolled his eyes and reached out, snatching the paper away from him.
George struggled against her bindings more, waving her hands in surrender, "Dude, I refuse to sit here and explain or defend consensual rough sex for you…" She paused and looked in deep thought for a moment before muttering, "though I may have written fanfiction about doing that exact thing, actually…"
Dean and Sam shared a strange look and she said quickly, "The point is: that," she indicated toward the paper Dean was trying to annoy Sam into letting him read again, "is just a rap song, by Cardi B. I've had it stuck in my head since I got here but I can't listen to it because it doesn't exist. One night it was driving me nuts, so I finally just started writing out the lyrics hoping it would help somehow. I'm not a witch," She assured, and then looked at Dean, "and I'm not a demon! Or anything that's bothered by silver. I'm not anything! I'm just human!"
"With interesting taste in 'music'," Dean mumbled with some air quotes.
"And by the way, yes, I one hundred percent thought you were Michael! I saw you coming down the hall and nearly had a heart attack. If I'd known it was-" she looked him up and down with a strange mix of appreciation, awe, and terror, "really you… Dean Winchester." She thought for a minute and then shrugged, "Well, I probably still would have hid, but I definitely wouldn't have tried to stab you."
The guys were quiet for a moment before Cas asked them, "What do you think?"
"I believe her," Sam said definitively and George's stomach fluttered nauseatingly. "I know she thought you were Michael. We've been talking about it around here for weeks and you've not been back that long."
"Well, it's still feasible she heard about it…" Dean said but his tone indicated that wasn't what he really thought. "I've still got a lot of questions, but I'm inclined to believe her on these so called 'lyrics' at least," Dean said, begrudgingly, "I mean, what spell have you ever heard of that says 'if he ate my ass, he's a bottom feeder'?"
"Christ," George closed her eyes tight. If she weren't so terrified she would laugh. When she opened her eyes again finally, the smirk on Sam's face made her stomach do flip flops, so she closed them again.
"Alright," Dean addressed her again, "So, where's Jack?"
George's eyes flew back open and she frowned, "Jack?" She looked at Sam confused and then asked, "What do you mean 'where' is he?"
Sam was studying her, reading her reaction, before answering, "We can't find him in the bunker. He's gone, but nothing else seems to be missing."
"Except his cell phone, which was missing until I found you," Dean added accusatively, picking Jack's phone up off the table and holding it up. "So, when did you see him last?"
George frowned deeper, a concerned expression on her face, "Yesterday, but not for long." She looked over at Sam and explained, "As he's been getting better at the games, he's been more interested in single player. And seeing as how I'd rather gouge my own eyes out with a melon baller than watch a teenageish boy struggle to play video games that I could beat in my sleep, we've been hanging out less. He usually only comes to see me if he's really stuck or when he wants to talk about something that's bothering him."
Dean's brows furrowed curiously as he wondered who this woman was that seemed to be getting so close to his brother and his kid. "Why did he come to you yesterday?" He asked gruffly.
"I, uh… went to him, to ask if I could borrow his phone and listen to some music. I ended up staying to chat for a minute because he was pissed when I found him."
"Why?" Castiel asked with concern.
George smirked a bit, "Because he couldn't get a good picture of Gyrados in Pokemon Snap?" Dean looked confused and highly annoyed about it; Sam couldn't help but chuckle.
"Is that… another ambiguous song lyric?" Castiel looked confused.
"No, it's just a challenging video game," George explained. "So, hang on, are you sure he's gone-gone? Maybe-"
With a frustrated sigh, Sam nodded and cut her off, "We're sure, unfortunately. Can you just walk us through yesterday, when you saw him?"
George was getting worried; was Jack really in trouble? Was this another Big Bad trying to kill them? Was she going to have to hide in a small space again?! Did she have time to pee first? Where the hell was Rowena? Half of her was ready to go home, now, even if it had to hogtie and yank the other half with it.
After collecting her thoughts for a minute she said, "Sure. It was late evening. I went to his room to ask for the phone and found him chucking a controller at the wall," She and Sam shared a smirk and Dean narrowed his eyes curiously. "We talked about him being pissed at the game and I told him no one can get a picture of that fucking impossible pokemon, so not to beat himself up about it. Then I offered to play something multiplayer with him to get his mind off it. We played for a bit but the zombies were overwhelming him." Sam had to hold back a chuckle at the fact that she didn't seem very sympathetic. "I could tell he was just getting pissed all over, so I pretended I was tired of playing and we turned it off. He didn't feel like talking, so I made an excuse about being tired and told him I'd bring the phone back today."
"Where were you sitting?" Dean asked matter-of-factly and Sam flinched at the question.
"Scusi?" George didn't understand.
"When you were playing together, in Jack's room. Where were you sitting?" He asked again.
She looked at him like he had two heads, "What?! Why does it matter where I was sitt-" Her breath caught in her throat a little when she realized why he might be asking the question. All the blood drained from her face save for the deep, angry flush in her cheeks. She could see Sam fidgeting uncomfortably out of the corner of her eye.
The question offended her deeply and made her feel shame she didn't deserve to feel. She'd been sitting on the floor, per usual, and even so there was nothing going on between her and Jack. She doubted he'd even call her a friend; she'd helped him out with the games and listened when he needed someone to talk to a few times. That was it. Period. But the mere fact that Dean had asked the question had now planted the seed in everyone's mind. Even though she's innocent, and even after they find that out, she feared the question would always be there. She'd never be able to have a normal friendship with Jack, now.
You moron! You aren't going to be staying long enough to have any kind of friendship with any one of them, what. are. you. doing?! Just answer his moronic, misogynistic question and get this over with already.
She took a deep breath and unclenched her jaw to answer him, "I wa-" but then stopped and thought, although, when are you ever going to get the opportunity to put Dean Winchester in his place again?
Then she shook her head emphatically and, hands gesturing noisily, said, "No, ya know what? Fuck that. I honestly don't think it's any of your fucking business what square footage of space my ass was taking up inside of a room you weren't in. And I know for a fact that if I had a penis you would not be asking me this question at all, which is both ergregiously misogynistic and heteronormative. Unfortunately for you, I have a strict rule against answering such questions, sooooo thanks and g'fuck ya'self." She just told Dean Winchester to go fuck himself. She was proud but also felt like she might vomit.
Dean's eyebrows raised high. His expression slowly went from shocked, to pensive, to mildly agreeable. With an amused smirk, he gave a quick nod, "OK, you might have a point. But, I wouldn't be asking the question at all if certain people hadn't expressed concerns about the location of your ass inside the room."
"Dean," Sam was really uncomfortable with this line of questioning; though certainly not as uncomfortable as she deserved to be. He felt sure that Tim's accusations were baseless, but Jack's life could be on the line and there were definitely things she hadn't been honest about. He couldn't let his desire to believe her negatively affect Jack or their ability to find him. Still, he didn't think it was necessary to humiliate her, so he interjected gently, "George, while you were hanging out, did you talk about anything that stood out? What was his mood like?"
George swallowed hard and blinked back the shameful tears, before answering quietly, "We didn't really talk about anything special. Game shit-talk, mostly." Purposefully omitting the fact that she spent most of the time peppering Jack with questions about Sam. It seemed unnecessary to mention it now anyway, since obviously Sam felt she was being inappropriate with Jack.
"Did he say he was going somewhere? Or ask you to take him out again like with Gamestop?" Sam followed up.
George shook her head, "No. The only place he talked about wanting to go was hunting with you all. He wanted to find Dean, of course. But he wasn't worked up, just normal complaining. It wasn't anything new or concerning."
Dean asked gruffly, "Did anyone else see you two together?"
She frowned at him, "What do you mean?"
"Can anyone corroborate that you were with Jack or that you left him, alone? And yes, I would ask that question even if you had a penis," He finished with a smirk.
"Dean," Sam growled, shaking his head in frustration.
George stared daggers at him before swallowing back her snarky reply and smiling politely. At this point, no hogties were necessary; she was ready to go home. She felt mortified and ashamed, so she'd play the game if it meant being done with this. After a moment of thought she said, "Uhm… no, I don't think so. Well, maybe Tim?"
All three men shared an intrigued glance. "Blink-18Tim?" Dean clarified.
George couldn't help a wry chuckle, nodding affirmatively, "After I left Jack's room, he bumped into me in the hall. He didn't see me with Jack but he saw me alone after I left him."
"Did he know you'd come from Jack's room?" Castiel asked.
"I don't know, maybe? After I left I turned the corner, bumped into Tim-dropped the damn phone like a clumsy idiot. He picked it up and handed it back to me and then…" Pausing, she rolled her eyes to the ceiling and let out a begrudging sigh, "Well, lets just say, he wasn't respecting my personal space despite repeated attempts to create distance. So, I didn't stay long enough to explain my comings and goings to him."
"I'm sorry," Sam apologized with another deep frown. He was starting to feel like a massive tool. And he made a mental note to have a chat with everyone in the bunker about sexual harassment in the hunt space.
She clenched her jaw and looked back at Dean, shrugging, "I'm used to it." That only made Sam feel worse but George continued on, "Anyway, Tim probably can't corroborate that I was with Jack but he saw me alone in the hallway around midnight… with Jack's phone. I don't know if that helps me here, or not, actually," She finished with a deep sigh. Unconsciously, she tried to lift a hand to run through her hair, only to be reminded it was handcuffed to the chair. She huffed and gripped the arms tightly instead before adding, "Listen, I don't know what kind of information you're trying to get from me, but I can tell you with complete and total honesty: I do not know where Jack is. And my vagina and I have nothing to do with why he's gone missing," That was directed at Dean, to whom she gave a pointed stare.
Ignoring her snarky decree of innocence, Dean asked slightly more nicely, "Did you see where Tim was going when you left him?"
"I didn't. He turned down the hallway toward Jack's room…" She trailed off, thinking back to that night, "but I can't say for sure where he went. Like I said, the guy was giving me the creeps, so I left quickly."
There was a dense silence in the room as the three men digested her story. They huddled together and murmured to each other for a moment.
"So, do we believe Creepy Tim or Lil Kim?" Dean asked sarcastically motioning to George with a slight nod.
Castiel was unsure, "I don't know…" He looked the woman over with a skeptical eye, feeling inexplicably uneasy in her presence but he couldn't figure out why. "Something about her is… unsettling me."
Sam frowned, "What? You think she's lying?"
"No, no, it's more… Well, truthfully, I can't explain it. I don't think she's lying necessarily, but I think there's more than meets the eye."
"Is that just a fancy way of saying she's hiding something? Because, she's definitely hiding something," Dean said definitively, glancing back at the paper with the lyrics again.
"She's answered all our questions so far," Sam defended. "Even the ones that some could construe as offensive."
"Jack's missing and she was the last one seen with him. Just because you're sweet on her, doesn't mean she's not evil," Dean sneered.
"Historically speaking, it would make her more likely to be evil," Castiel added helpfully and Sam looked deeply offended.
With an annoyed huff, Sam grumbled, "She's the last one to be seen with him according to Tim. Obviously, their stories don't match up. Look, I'm not saying there isn't something strange about her," with a glance back at her he lowered his voice, "and obviously she wasn't honest about where she came from, but I really don't think we know enough yet to say she's responsible for Jack going missing. And Tim is definitely on my radar now."
Castiel seemed doubtful, "I don't know. Do we now believe her over Tim? The people of the camp fought beside us against Michael. Against Lucifer! He's our ally, isn't he?"
Neither was sure how to answer that. Sam thought for a minute, remembering something. With a brow furrow, he looked back at George suddenly, asking, "What music did you listen to?"
George looked confused, "What?"
"You said you borrowed the phone to listen to music?"
George's eyes went a little wide and she sputtered, "Oh… right, yea, the phone. Music." With what she hoped looked like a calm shrug she explained, "I didn't actually get to. Jack broke the speakers on the phone and…" she paused guiltily, "I might have... misplaced the headphones."
"Misplaced?" Castiel asked curiously as the three of them shared another look.
George rolled her eyes in annoyance at herself and said, "OK, yes, I lost them! They were attached to the phone when Jack gave it to me but when I got back to my room, I couldn't find them..." She trailed off guiltily.
Sam, Dean, and Castiel looked at each other with urgency and Castiel nodded before turning to leave quickly, "Tim. On it."
George looked confused but remained silent, watching them carefully. Dean and Sam spoke quietly to each other.
"Tim brought those headphones back when we first saw him at Jack's room, right?" Sam asked, even though he knew he was right.
Dean nodded and said, "And she said when she dropped the phone he handed it back to her. Probably swiped them then."
"You thinking what I'm thinking?"
"I'm thinking Tim is at the top of my suspect list now and I'm pretty close to pounding on his face, yea," Dean and Sam nodded in agreement and then glanced over George again.
"What about-"
Dean shook his head, unsure, "I don't know, man. You seem to be pretty sure she's innocent and based on what we know right now, I'm inclined to agree with you… but there's still something odd about her. And Tim was right about one thing: she obviously lied about coming from Apocalypse World. No one knew her. And she was hiding out in that room we didn't know existed until today, which is honestly kinda creepy. So, where did your little stalker come from and what is she doing here?"
Sam rolled his eyes and said, "Why don't we just ask her?"
Dean thought about it for a minute and then shrugged, "Alright, I will." He turned away from Sam and back to George, looking at her curiously, "So, George." The look she gave him was very done and he smiled, "Perhaps we got off on the wrong foot-"
"Oh? To which foot are you referring? The one where you strangled me or the one where you all but accused me of sexually assaulting a teenager?"
Dean smirked and gave her an apologetic expression, "Both. Mostly the first. I wasn't trying to hurt you, exactly-"
"Yea, I get it. You were just doing your job," George sighed, still annoyed about the sexist insinuation about her relationship with Jack, but understanding about the interrogation. If Jack really was missing, she knew they had to 'work the case.' It's just, so far as she knew, Sam was the only one who had ever seen her and Jack together and to hear Dean tell it, there were some concerns about their friendship. It hurt her more than she wanted to admit to think Sam was the one with those concerns.
"Right," Dean nodded slowly and then asked, "So, how did you end up here? At the bunker."
George's expression went from annoyed to surprised and then nervous, "Uhh, what… what do you mean?"
Dean shrugged, "I mean, Sam said you told him you came from Apocalypse World?"
George glanced at Sam and then darted her eyes around the room nervously, "I don't know if I said it so much as he guessed and I didn't correct him, but..."
When George didn't offer any further explanation, Dean and Sam exchanged a glance and Dean said, "Yea, and uh… Jules said the two of you were close."
"She did?" That was interesting.
Dean nodded emphatically, "Oh yea! Said the two of you fought together in Apocalypse World. Said you killed a lot of those giant squid aliens together?" Sam had to force himself to not roll his eyes at his brother's ruse.
"G-giant squ-?" George's eyes went wide and she muttered, "Holy-I really need to pay better attention to this show..."
"What?" Sam's brow raised.
George cleared her throat and said, "Nothing! Uh, just… yeah, I-I guess if that's what Jules said then… yup, I-I… I did that?"
"That sounds like a question?" Dean asked with an eyebrow raise. "Did you fight and kill giant squid aliens or not?"
George paused and then said slowly, "Whatever Jules said is exactly, uh-what happened."
Dean had to fight to keep his face expressionless, so he paused before saying, "Right. Well, hey, in that case I want to extend my condolences." Dean looked down and Sam tried not to react to whatever his brother was doing. "She told us how you lost your half human-half giant squid alien husband to the fight."
Her jaw dropped in surprise and a quiet chuckle of absurdity escaped her lips before she could stop it. As she struggled to keep her expression from showing the immense confusion she felt, her mind was drawing a complete blank at how to respond to this information. Was this in the show?!
Sam also struggled to keep his composure, lifting a hand up to rub his nose oh-so-casually, hiding a smirk.
When she couldn't respond Dean encouraged-slowly, as he was also struggling, "That must have been difficult? Losing Flurbert like that."
George grimaced and started nodding slowly, still looking very uncertain. She wasn't exactly sure how to feel about losing her imaginary human-squid alien hybrid husband. "Ye-eah… always hard to lose someone…" Finally sputtered out of her mouth.
Dean's eyes widened quickly in disbelief that she hadn't cracked at 'Flurbert'. With determination, he pushed forward, "Jules said it was real recent, too." George made an exaggerated noise of sad agreement, trying desperately to control the I-think-I'm-going-nuts laughter that was bubbling up. She was kind of nervous that the struggle might make her vomit.
With a sad shake of his head Dean continued, "I can't imagine what you're going through. I mean, I just don't know how you're going to do it all alone."
George narrowed her eyes a bit and managed a confused, "Do… what?"
Sam quickly turned away as Dean explained, "Raise all the babies." Luckily, he'd realized what was about to happen a split second before Dean said it, otherwise his face would have given them away.
"The fuck?" George blurted.
Dean's expression was innocent and he explained, "Yeah, Jules told us about the pregnancy, too." Sam couldn't turn back around, he was biting his fist to keep from laughing.
George's face twisted into a nearly crazed look of disbelief and asked, "Sorry-Jules... told you... that I was an ex soldier in a war against, er-giant squid aliens... who is also pregnant by her dead... human-squid... alien hybrid husband?"
Dean gave her a little 'oops' face and asked earnestly, "Oh my god, I'm so sorry. Were you not announcing yet?"
George was silent for a long time before finally, unable to stop it, she burst into the most insane laughter she's ever experienced. Between gasps she managed to get out, "What-the-fuck-is-happening?!"
Sam and Dean shared an amused look. Dean looked proud of himself and Sam rolled his eyes at his dumb brother. He could have easily just told her they knew she wasn't from Apocalypse World, but Dean loved the drama.
"Did you guys get new writers or something, what the hell!?" George managed to squeak out before another round of laughter. The look the brothers shared next was one of confusion. As she calmed down, tears streaming down her face, she said, "Oh my lord, I've gone beyond Oz at this point. Giant Squid Aliens?! That's Star Trek, not Supernatural!"
"Supernatural?" Dean asked and Sam whipped around to her, suddenly serious again. George saw them looking at her suspiciously and her laughter died away. She knew she had no choice but to tell them the truth now.
"Wha-" Sam furrowed his brow at her and asked dubiously, "Are you a fan of Supernatural?" His face fell suddenly and he swallowed nervously, "Did Becky send you?"
"Ha!" Came barking out before she could help it. With a pensive expression, trying not to laugh again, she said, "Um… Well, yes to the first question; hard no to the second."
Dean was getting angry and growled, "Explain."
George took a nervous breath and said, "OK… well, here's the thing: I wasn't lying about being from an alternate reality, I just was lying about which one I came from. When you ask if I'm a fan of Supernatural, I assume you're talking about the books. By Carver Edlund, right?" Dean and Sam both nodded affirmatively with a slight frown. "OK, so, I'm not a fan of the books. I've actually never read them because they don't exist in my reality," George looked guilty and paused again.
The brothers exchanged another confused look and Dean asked more than stated, "OK?"
"I'm confused," Sam took a step closer. "You're a fan of Supernatural but you come from an alternate reality where Supernatural doesn't exist?"
"I said the books don't exist…" George gave them a nervous smile, waiting for them to come to the conclusion on their own. They weren't, so she said, "Think back about six-ish years ago?"
Following her directions, Sam's face slowly went from confusion to disbelief and then shock. Dean's face did the same, on about a five second delay. George squeezed her lips shut to keep from laughing.
"Wait… Are you saying you're from that-that alternate reality where this is all a TV show?" Sam asked, extremely skeptical. Then again it certainly explained a lot of her little idiosyncrasies.
George winced guiltily and nodded, "Yeah."
No one knew what to say and they all felt equally as awkward suddenly.
"You think we're actors?" Dean asked finally.
George shook her head a little and shrugged, "I don't really know how to answer that question." A nervous laughter bubbled up and she looked queasy suddenly, "I'm in a new reality for fucks sake. When I first got here? I definitely thought you were all actors, yes. Which was incredibly embarrassing because I couldn't remember Rowena's real name-er, Rowena's actress' real name? You know what I mean. Anyway, it definitely took some convincing, to say the least, but I've been here a while now and I've kinda gotten used to it? I mean, I think I know that you're really Sam Winchester and you're really Dean Winchester and this is all really… real." With a pair of wide eyes, she let out a huff of apologetic frustration, "Still, it's not every day you're suddenly ON a television show. I still get embarrassingly nervous whenever I see another charac-person I recognize," she shook her head with a light blush. "Which is exactly why I was trying to avoid you all while I waited for Rowena to help me get back home. But then I kept fucking up and running into Sam and then I woke up in his room and then Jack found me there and-and-and then he found me in the kitchen and he looked so sad; I had to help! What was I supposed to do?! And then Gamestop and Sam had a beard and things just spiraled! I-I-I-" He near breathless rambling stopped short when she met Sam's sweet eyes and her blush darkened.
"She woke up in your room?" Dean asked with a curious look to Sam.
Ignoring him, Sam quickly interjected, "Er-Rowena? What does she have to do with all this? Does she have Jack?"
George shook her head vehemently, "Nono, no! I told you, my being here has nothing to do with Jack being missing. I'm not part of this story, I don't belong here; I'm just… like one of those little fish that stick to sharks. Just looking for a safe place to hang out, maybe mooch a little bit of food here and there, until I can get back home to my reality. I'm not here to mess with anything. In fact, I think it's best for everyone if you let me go back to my hovel and consider me not here! Just pretend I don't exist because I'm definitely not supposed to. Here, that is."
Sam frowned for a minute and asked, "How do you know?"
"Know what?" She asked in confusion.
"That you aren't supposed to be here?"
"Oh, well funny you should mention that. To add some glitter to the glue I've obviously been sniffing-if I may borrow a phrase," She shot a smirk to Sam. He furrowed his brow in shock, remembering having said something similar when he was without his soul some eight years prior. She then grimaced and finished apologetically, "I come from the year 2020."
Both the boys looked yet more stunned and exchanged dubious expressions. Even Sam was starting to feel worried about this woman's mental health.
"Those lyrics I wrote down? They're from a song that was just released a few months ago, which is why I can't listen to it here. All the shit you're going through right now-Michael, apocalypse world? Ya, all of that has already happened for me. On the show, I mean."
It hit Sam hard suddenly just how much she knew about them-him, and it felt like he'd swallowed cement. He was ashamed of all the horrible things he'd done, the pain he'd caused so many people. It wasn't reasonable to expect a partner to be understanding about any of it, which is partly why he'd been reluctant to pursue relationships more and more.
But he'd been really hoping that maybe she was meant to be part of h-the story, so he asked anyway, "But... how do you know this is supposed to happen? That you aren't supposed to be part of… the 'story?'"
George guffawed and said, "Look, I'm admittedly behind on watching these last few seasons-and maybe I wouldn't be considered the world's biggest Supernatural fan-but I'm pretty confident that I was never actually on it," She finished with a definitive nod. Was it her or did Sam seem strangely disappointed.
"OK, tell me something only a fan of Supernatural would know," Dean said dubiously.
She narrowed her eyes in doubt, "Like… something just about major events or something personal? I-I know you killed Hitler?"
The two men quickly looked at each other in shock and then Sam shook his head, "Wait, that does not count. He tells that story to anyone who'll listen."
"I know you can lift Thor's hammer!" She replied back to him, grinning at the memory. That was pretty hot.
Dean turned to his brother with a smug smirk, "You were saying?"
"Something more personal, then?" Sam asked sheepishly.
"Uuuuhhhh…" George was frozen, unsure how to answer until finally she blurted, "OK, how about I know 'Carver Edlund' is really 'Chuck Shurley' is really motherfucking GOD with a capital G! Huh? Or, ooh! How about Sam's imaginary friend person? I can't remember his name, but he was some kind of being called like Xanadu or Zanzibar or-"
"A zanna," Sam choked out, all the air missing from his lungs suddenly.
"Sure, right! A zanna! Honestly, I mostly remember that episode because of the mermaid. It was sad when she was killed; I love mermaids." Sam looked nauseous and Dean suspicious, but both their eyes were wide. The three of them were all staring at each other, unsure what to say.
Finally, Sam gulped, "Dean, no one knows about Sully."
"I don't know Sam, I'm just not convinced. A time traveling superfan? C'mon! She could have gotten this intell from... anyone…"
George thought for a minute and then said, "Well I know a few more personal things but it feels kind of… icky telling you about yourself like that." Dean and Sam exchanged nervous glances and then she said, "How about the fact that-in my reality-Castiel is played by a different actor because Misha Collins was murdered? And that, while the official word was robbery-gone-wrong, I think the three of us know the cause of death was a bit more Supernatural than that, hmm?" She looked at the two of them pointedly, with a small, sardonic smirk.
That one shook both of them and they looked very guilty, especially Sam. Then, looking at Dean, she kept going, "Like I said I'm not the biggest fan but if we're talking most recent seasons: I know you had the mark of Cain for a bit. I know you stabbed Death with his own scythe and released the darkness who started as baby Amara and then grew up real fast. And I also know you were kinda, sorta feelin' her for a while-no shame. She was hot," Dean gulped and George began listing off factoids like it was a grocery list, "I know she brought your mom back to life. I know that Sam got kidnapped and tortured by the British Men of Letters. I know they tried to kill you both but obviously they didn't know who they were fucking with and it didn't go well for them… I know that stuffy psychopath Ketch 'died'," she air quoted, "but then came back with some bullshit twin story which I don't really remember why because I was only half paying attention and I personally still think Ketch is a tool, but that's neither here nor there." She paused and Dean made a nod of agreement at her last comment, giving Sam a curious look. The young Winchester could do little else but blink rapidly and panic internally. Neither one could wrap their heads around this.
With a head shake and a frustrated eye roll, Dean asked, "So, let me get this straight, not only do you come from an alternate reality where Sam and I are just two douchey, Polish actor dweebs, but you're also from the future of that reality?"
"Well... I think only Jared's the only one who's Polish, but…" George shrugged helplessly, "essentially, yea." The deafening, dumbfounded silence returned.
Dean frowned and he asked slowly, "To do what? And how did you get here?"
George winced and deep sighed, "Yea, still working on all that. Honestly, I hadn't even thought about the 'why' of it; I was more focused on a general 'wtf' and 'how do I get out of here before I fuck it up and get the show canceled or something.' As for how I got here, I couldn't tell you. One minute I'm in my apartment, getting ready for a date, and-"
"Oh, a date?" Sam asked, a little too sharply, standing at attention. Dean snickered at Sam's doofy, fake innocent expression.
George nodded off handedly, "Yea, this guy I met online. We were supposed to meet up for the first time at Marin Headlands Park for a hike to watch the sunset." She finished wistfully, as though it was incredibly romantic. Sam and Dean looked at each other, eyebrows raised.
"Let me get this straight. You 'met' a guy online-so basically a stranger-and he asked you to go to a secluded, wooded area alone with him at dusk?" Sugar coating wasn't Dean's forte. "Can I get 'what is a thousand red flags' for $500 Alex?"
She narrowed her eyes defensively at him. "He's not a stranger, he's… he's… he's LuvsToHike79!"
"Oh my God," Dean's voice went high and Sam made an "oo, not good" face. Pulling his most smug 'told ya so' look, Dean held out his arms to an imaginary audience, "might as well be notaserialkiller19! No question that loser was going to club you over the head, drag you back to his basement, and chain you to the floor."
As George struggled to remember the guy's real name, she could feel her cheeks begin to burn. After a moment, she decided that she would not be accepting questions or comments regarding her barely-there love life from Jared Padalecki or Jensen Ackles…or Sam or Dean Winchester for that matter!
"Says the 'loser' who nearly suffocated me, carried me to the dungeon in his secret bunker, and handcuffed me to a chair?" Lifting her wrists demonstratively, the handcuffs clanged loudly against the metal armrests. Sam looked like he wished the floor would swallow him whole while Dean nodded his head in resignation at her point. "The point is, I was in my apartment and then… something strange happened, like loud music and a big shove, and then suddenly I was in the library with Rowena. After she dropped the alternate reality bombshell, she said she'd been casting some spells to help boost the power and keep the rift open for you guys to be able to get back. Somehow I came through the rift, too? When she left me in that hobbit hole-which by the way she conjured out of thin air. It was really cool-she promised to come back after she was able to ensure your safe return. That was nearly a month ago," She finished with an annoyed smile. "She certainly lives up to her reputation and I can't tell if that's comforting or incredibly annoying."
"Why not both?" Dean offered with a knowing smirk.
Before anything else could be said, they heard erratic footsteps approaching. All three of them turned to see Castiel leading a very reluctant and struggling Tim into the room. Tim started elbowing and slapping at him and, in frustration, Cas shoved him hard. George let out a yelp of surprise as the guy went crashing to the ground inside the dungeon. He landed at Sam and Dean's feet. Looking up at them slowly there was a panicked expression on his face.
He gulped when Dean grinned like a cat about to eat the canary, "Hiya, Tim."
Tim scrambled to his feet and tried to bolt but Dean tripped him. He stumbled and then turned around and swung at Dean hard. Dean dodged the punch and landed one of his own into the guy's gut. There was a loud clanging sound as George instinctively tried to bring her hands to her face in shock. When he started trying to get up again, Castiel elbowed him in the back and he crumpled to the ground with a disoriented groan.
Sam quickly picked up the keys to the handcuffs and walked over to her, "We're probably going to need that chair back now."
"Happy to oblige," George nodded enthusiastically and yanked on the handcuffs that were holding her down. Sam unlocked her hands and ankles in record time and she vacated the chair quickly.
"Sorry about that, we just have to be careful, you know?" He apologized, nervously watching her move away from the hot seat and toward the desk in the corner of the room. "Are you hurt?" Sam asked with some concern when she rubbed her wrists absentmindedly.
She shrugged and stopped, "Actually, no. Just habit."
"You get handcuffed a lot?" Sam joked, sounding relieved, while moving to help Dean haul the guy into the chair.
"Only when there's a safeword involved," She assured with a wink.
Sam let out an "Aheh!" and some silent chuckles followed as he locked the cuffs on Tim's wrists and ankles. George couldn't see his face but she pictured he was blushing and it made her smile.
Dean, who'd secured Tim on the other side, stood upright again. He gave both George and Sam a bemused once over, then said aloud to himself, "Yea, it's all starting to make sense now."
George's smile dropped and she asked curiously, "What?"
Dean chose not to answer. Sam finished snapping the cuffs and then stood upright, just as Dean tossed a flask of holy water at Tim. His skin sizzled and he was alert again suddenly. Growling in pain, he struggled against his bindings fiercely and his eyes flashed black. George shivered in shock, goosebumps covering her entire body.
Whoa, that's intense.
Sam turned toward George and warned, "So, this," He motioned toward Tim, "might get a little..."
"Intense?" She filled in the blanks, watching Dean set the flask down and pick a knife up off the table next to her. He gave the blade an appreciative once over that made her gulp. Nodding before Sam could even answer, she headed for the door, "Well, then, that's my cue."
Sam followed behind her a bit, walking her out. When they were almost to the door, they heard the demon formerly known as Tim comment, "Letting the chubby little slut go, hmm? Did she tell you where she's hiding Jack, yet? Someone do a thorough check between her legs?"
While Dean adjusted his grip on the blade and took a step forward, Sam unholstered his gun, cocked it, and aimed lazily, "Would you like to repeat that, Timmy? Didn't quite hear you."
The menacing timbre of his voice gave George goosebumps, yet she was barely paying attention, glaring at Tim with a white hot rage. After a beat, she forced herself to relax and cleared her throat.
Her finger raised in the air, as she took a step forward, looked at the demon with a polite smile, and began sweetly, "First of all, wow are you obsessed with my body. Sorry not sorry: even if you weren't a demon, hard pass. Second, you can aim all that tired slut shaming at someone who actually gives a shit, because it ain't me. Third," Sam lowered his gun, watching her take another step and gave Tim an expression of such pity that it made even Dean uncomfortable, "what kind of demon takes a shot at the Winchesters and misses? Hmm?" Dean, Sam, and Castiel watched, stunned and confused. They were poised to step in if she got too close as she took another step toward the suddenly confused demon and continued, "Oh wait, I know!" She placed her hands open on either side of her mouth and shouted, "EVERY OTHER FUCKING DEMON who's come before you, TIM! Far, far better demons than you. Meg? Dead. Abaddon? Dead. Alastair? Lilith? Ruby? You guessed it: dead. Well, OK, there was Yellow Eyes," she admitted, feigning resolve.
"Nope, actually, we got him too," Dean interjected helpfully, thoroughly enjoying this. Plus, as endearingly irritating as he found her, watching a confident woman verbal bitch slap a demon was hot. He could tell from the look on his brother's face, he felt the same.
George acted mock surprised, "Ope! You don't say! I have a hard time keeping track." She looked back at Tim and said, "You know, these guys have killed so many demons, that where I come from there's an entire wikipedia page just listing name after name of all the demons who came for them and died trying. I'm sure you realize that a lot of them were smarter than you. Yet for some reason, you, Tim-or Krampus or whatever the fuck your demon name is-"
"I-It-It's actually Cleetus…" Came a pathetic stutter.
George's neck snapped back and she shared a 'wow' face with Dean. After a moment she said sarcastically, "Catchy. Yet, I've already forgotten it. Tim, you actually thought you were going to be different, huh? Thought that you were going to be the one to finally get them, right? That your name wouldn't end up on that list? Yet, your cover story is some played out all-women-are-whores BS, accusing me of trying to seduce Jack and kidnap him or something? Really? Your big play was a poorly constructed red herring? That's it?" The look of pity was back and Dean was almost feeling bad for the guy. "You thought if you wanted it bad enough that you'd actually pull it off, hmm? Well, buddy, I've seen every episode of America's Next Top Model and I've got bad news: 'wanting it more' gets you squat."
"No kidding, otherwise Natasha would have won season 8 like she should have," Dean chimed in matter of factly.
George's adrenaline was pumping at this point, so she was unable to process the absurdity of that statement coming out of Dean Winchester's mouth-especially since he was wrong; Jaslene was far superior. The look on Sam's face alone nearly broke her, but she pushed forward and made a mental note to address it later.
With a shrug she continued, "Now, sure, you infiltrated their bunker, bravo! But, I'm looking around and seeing: you, special little demon snowflake you," Sam wondered if George had the urge to boop the man on the nose, as indicated by her tone in that moment, "helplessly tied to a chair. And I'm seeing both of them," She held her thumbs out at both brothers smugly, "decidedly not tied to chairs. Oh yea, and holding weapons." Then she pointed to Castiel and said, "Also, not only is that guy an angel but I think he's also kinda the dad of the kid they're looking for and boy does he look pissed." Castiel was quick enough to mask his confusion with the rage he was feeling and she continued, "Sure, he's not currently holding a weapon, but honestly I don't even think he's going to need one, do you?" She gave Tim an exaggerated grimace and motioned around to the room, advising, "Tim, look at your life. Look at your choices."
The demon, whose brow was suddenly damp, watched her with a confused, somewhat deflated expression and began to say, "Well, I-"
Cutting him off, she began to step backwards away from him slowly, "Anyway, I'm gonna go ahead and take off now. It's one thing to watch pretend torture on TV but another thing to see actual torture. So..." She let her words sink in before she turned around and started heading for the exit again. The demon looked nervously between the three men, who were all looking particularly puffed up and menacing by that point. Tossing up a peace sign as she left, she called out, "Better luck next time, Tim!"
The four of them remained in stunned silence for an incredibly long time before Dean finally said, "OK, if you insist, I'll say it: That was hot as shit."
Sam gave him a disapproving frown for his phrasing, then nodded begrudgingly in agreement.
“For the record, Natasha should not have won that season. Jaslene was the superior model," Castiel added, giving Dean a pointed look, almost unconsciously unsheathing his angel blade and stepping toward Tim.
Oddly, Tim nodded enthusiastically and agreed, "Yea, Jaslene was way bet-"
"Can we focus please?!" Sam said in exasperation. Dean and Castiel looked like scolded children with matching apologetic expressions.
When Sam turned away, Dean grumbled quietly to Cas, "We'll talk about it later."
"There's nothing to talk about. Jasle-"
"Guys!"
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A Subjective Ranking of all 18 Books in the Vampire Chronicles Extended Universe
18. Blood Canticle (2003)
It took me the longest to read Blood Canticle of any of the books because I couldn’t read more than about 25 pages at a time before the urge to throw the book out the nearest window got too strong. The story is bad, the characters are the worst they’ve ever been and the writing style is full-on terrible. Blood Canticle is one of the worst books I’ve read full stop.
17. Taltos (1994)
I hated the Mayfair Witches trilogy. While Taltos was at least the shortest of the three, it was a terrible conclusion to the trilogy. The Taltos are one of Anne Rice’s worst ideas. Each of the books delves more into their mythology and it gets worst the more it’s explored.
16. Blackwood Farm (2002)
A major issue I have with Anne Rice is she insists on telling these extremely lengthy backstories of characters we’ve just met who I almost never give a shit about. That’s the entirety of Blackwood Farm. It’s the backstory of a character I just met and don’t care about whatsoever. Blackwood Farm evokes the classic Anne Rice style of bad where it switches between just being insane and being fucking boring at the drop of a hat. I skimmed most of the book because it was so boring. But then I’d tune in to some insanely weird shit about intersex vampires or ghost twins giving handjobs or whatever was happening and yeah, my attention would of course be held by such insanity. But invariably, the book would drift back into describing wildly uninteresting events with too much detail and I’d tune out again.
15. The Witching Hour (1990)
The Witching Hour has a three paragraph summary on Wikipedia. It is an accurate summation of the events of the book. So then why is this fucking book 968 pages? That’s my main grievance with The Witching Hour; it’s way too fucking long. It’s the least insane of the Mayfair Witches trilogy but also by far the least interesting.
14. Prince Lestat and the Realms of Atlantis (2016)
These fucking bird aliens who inhabited Atlantis are just the Taltos 2.0. There’s a lot of insanity and also boring backstory in this one. I skimmed the backstory of the Atlantean bird aliens and don’t feel like I missed anything. What saves this book from ranking lower is I’m a slut for the main VC characters interacting and this one did have such a thing, plus some good Louis/Lestat moments which is my other big priority with the series. Simultaneous highlight and lowlight of this book is when that one dude looses a hand but it gains sentience, breast feeds off him or something and then becomes his perfect clone. Fucking insanity.
13. Lasher (1993)
Lasher is the best of the Mayfair trilogy because there are genuine moments of horror in this horror novel. On the downside, the Taltos are as always, insane. Also, another signature of Anne Rice’s is sexy and sexualized teenage characters which there is a lot of in this book in the form of 13 year old Mona Mayfair, her affair with Michael Curry and the many scenes where this is excused, justified or even somewhat celebrated. That disturbed me and not in the way I want a horror novel to disturb me.
12. Memnoch the Devil (1995)
In terms of writing style, Memnoch is a lot better than many of the books that will rank higher than it. But this is a subjective ranking and I didn’t give a shit about Anne Rice working through her weird, religious baggage in a series that I’m reading to hear about the exploits of sexy, bisexual vampires. The majority of this book is again, a long backstory from a character we just met and I don’t care about. In this case it’s literally Satan which is a good start but Anne Rice sure has a way of taking too long describing everything which leaves me extremely bored by the narrative.
11. Blood Paradise (2018)
Blood Paradise should be lower in this list. It’s objectively extremely poor. Blood Paradise is basically the inverse of Memnoch; I really liked the story but hated the writing style. This one only ranks so high because it is a story that focuses on the lead vampire characters who are my priority. And yeah, I liked the outline for the story. It’s character-based, no major new characters interrupt the narrative and no insane additions to canon are added. Too bad the writing style feels extremely half-assed. Where usually I’m critical of Anne Rice taking way too long to say anything and focusing on unimportant details, this one is the opposite. It feels extremely rushed. A lot of major, emotional scenes that occur between characters are only a few sentences or paragraphs long. But still, at least this one gave me story content that I could just expand upon in my head instead of insane additions to canon that I’d prefer to ignore.
10. Merrick (2000)
Merrick actually might have my favourite ending to any of the VC novels. I loved Lestat resurrecting Louis from his suicide attempt and then that descends into Lestat, Louis, David and Merrick living in what seems to be perfectly happy polyamory. I totally dug that. But of course, the majority of the book is a backstory of Merrick, a character I just met and don’t care about. Also, we get a bit of David backstory which I seem to remember being him mostly creeping on some young boy who was in expedition with him. Not ideal. 
9. Vittorio, the Vampire (1999)
Vittorio is a fairly effective historical horror. Anne Rice did a lot of research and it shows. That’s not exactly my interest but she did well with it. There’s also some really horrific moment where Vittorio meets a clan of vampires in an old castle who do keep humans like cattle and eat babies and stuff. The major downsides is just that this is a character who we’ve never met before and never see again. Also the fact that Vittorio is 16 and is absolutely sexualized. I’ve really grown tired of Anne Rice’s constant belief that’s in almost all of her writing that teenagers are sexy and it’s totally fine to fuck them. It makes me uncomfortable to say the least.
8. Pandora (1998)
This one’s just pretty good. I’ve no major complaints but no specific bits of it I want to champion either. Again, a lot of historical research is done which is not interesting to me but well done. Also nice to have at least one book with a female vampire protagonist.
7. Prince Lestat (2014)
Prince Lestat is not objectively better than the last two books. I rank it this high mostly out of relief. For ages, Blood Canticle was the last book in The Vampire Chronicles. So, when Prince Lestat was released, it was impossible to see this as anything other than a huge upgrade. And of course, I liked that this book returned to focusing on the lead characters of Lestat, Louis, Marius, Daniel etc. It’s still a baffling idea to have Lestat be the vampire head of state or whatever though. But oh man, that Louis/Lestat moment near the end of the book made me feel a whole lotta feelings.
6. Blood and Gold (2001)
This one is another excuse for Anne Rice to do a lot of historical research. And you know what? Better she spends her energies doing that instead of creating weird, tall supernatural beings with specific quirks that are impossible to take seriously. I like the framing of this one because it’s sort of the inverse of usual. Thorne, a new character is introduced but instead of him telling Marius his story, it’s established character Marius who tells Thorne his story. And he does this the first day they met after Thorne’s awakened after several hundred years and they’ve taken a bath together. That’s just good story structure right there. The most memorable part of this story for me is keeping a vague tally of all the people Marius fell in love with throughout the course of the story. In one 100-page stretch, Marius falls in love five separate times. This grew tiresome but I also just thought it was funny.
5. The Vampire Armand (1998)
I’m the most morally against The Vampire Armand. It’s basically the peak of Anne Rice’s love of sexualizing teens. That’s sort of the whole book. I don’t think it’s a coincidence that around the time of its publication, Anne Rice got back into religion. I think she looked over what she wrote and was like yeah okay, maybe I do need Jesus. But I dunno, I remember really liking it. It was well-written and Armand is one of my favourite characters. I think Anne Rice did actually hit the right mixture of the story being sexy, horrific and rather tragic. Also, that bit at the end where Armand eats a drug dealer’s face and heart in front of some new, human friends is one of my favourite scenes.
4. The Tale of the Body Thief (1992)
There’s a lot of good and a lot of bad in Tale of the Body Thief. I love the body swap aspect and this one has some of the best interactions between characters. On the downside, there absolutely is a 2-page description of Lestat taking a piss, he absolutely commits a rape and him turning David into a vampire was #problematic. But even there, the Lestat and David scene is really well-written and works because Lestat is an absolute piece of shit. Tale of the Body Thief is for better and worse, Lestat at his most Lestat. Still didn’t need to hear about him taking a piss in that much detail, though.
3. Queen of the Damned (1988)
Akasha is the only good villain in any of the Vampire Chronicles books. Plus, Queen of the Damned brought all the characters we’d met in the previous two books together and I was absolutely all about that. At this point in the series, I actually did care about the majority of main characters and their interactions were absolutely spectacular. Only downside is again, we get a lengthy backstory of Akasha that I absolutely skimmed.
2. Interview with the Vampire (1976)
Yeah, it’s only number 2. Because while this book is better written and the start of this whole damn phenomenon, Louis is far from my favourite narrator. Dude’s too morose and shit. Still, the writing style is exquisite and it introduced great characters. As the series went on, Anne Rice clearly ran out of ideas but because this one is the first book, that’s not the case. There’s a lot of ideas here and they aren’t even fucking insane. 
1. The Vampire Lestat (1985)
I’m really only into this series because of how much I love Lestat as a character. I read Interview and thought I was done with the series. Interview was fine but I didn’t think I cared about the sequels. However, six months later when I decided to read The Vampire Lestat, I knew within the first two pages that this was going to be a problem for me. This is exactly my brand of bullshit. It’s just Lestat being a sexy and shitty person who makes out with everyone and overreacts to everything. I love him. And in the third act when it’s revealed he’s been in love with Louis all along and then Louis shows up in the present day and they reunite???? Oh my god. 16 year-old me nearly exploded. The Vampire Lestat is really the sole reason The Vampire Chronicles happened to me as hard as it did. I love this book and its ridiculous narrator/protagonist.
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Bread’s Skate (?!) Journal 09/06/20: The Other Ones: A Look Back On The Tony Hawk Imitators Of The Early 2000's....And BMX XXX.
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Looking back at Tony Hawk as a series that's pretty solidly in the past can cause someone to easily forget how those games were actually thought of at the time: Hyper popular.  As a result of that popularity, it was easy to see a bunch of other games and franchises that wanted a piece of that money, some from Activision themselves, some....very much not.  Some of these games were good!  Some of these games were so bad that they've become something of a legendary laughing stock in the game landscape as a whole.  
As I said, Activision was no stranger to trying to apply the Tony Hawk formula to other sports in an attempt to cash in on the extreme success of their franchise.  Sometimes these cash in's actually made for decent, if unoriginal games.  Matt Hoffman's Pro BMX was more or less a carbon copy of the Tony Hawk formula, but with BMX Bikes instead of Skateboards, and it actually worked pretty well once you got used to the inherent differences of the two different styles.  Other attempts were not quite as fortunate as Matt Hoffman though, and both of them sort of had the same "downhill" problem.   Shaun Palmers Pro Snowboarder was an attempt to put the Tony Hawk formula into a snowboarding game, and while that should reasonably work, the linear and all downhill nature of the levels really didn't lend themselves to a fun time.  
Following from Shaun Palmer was "Wakeboarding Unleashed featuring Shaun Murray" which is quite a title!  It was originally revealed with the far more descriptive name as "Shaun Murray's Pro Wakeboarder" but I have to assume that was changed to...distance the game from Tony Hawk?  It's a confusing move to say the least.  The game was actually quite decent, more so than you'd assume from something like a wakeboarding game, and you can tell there was some talent behind it, the games issue was that, by design, it was pretty much always on rails.  You were literally pulled through the levels behind a speed boat, and even though there was plenty to trick off, it lent a feeling that you were just being guided to the cool set pieces rather than actually doing any exploration of your own, it deserved better.  Hell, it at least deserves it's own Wikipedia page, the only mention of it at all is on Shaun Murray's very small Wikipedia entry, an ignoble end for a game that least tried something new.
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I had to find a screenshot for Shaun Murray, which I swear is real, and this is the only one I could easily find online.  I swear this game happened!
Of course Activision wasn't the only studio trying to capitalize on the extreme sports craze and the Tony Hawk trick heavy style.  EA found what I would consider the greatest success with franchises like SSX, and one entry wonders like Freakstyle (which is a seminal game for me as a kid, but one I feel very few people even know exist), a sort of blend of SSX and racing through the lens of Motocross.  Hell, eventually EA would make Skate, which outlived Tony Hawk itself for a few years, and I already wrote about earlier this week, an excellent franchise that was nonetheless heavily inspired by THPS.
Now, there are far more imitators and hanger on's, some good (Splashdown, while closer to Wave Race, definitely stole some of it's vibes from THPS). Some incredibly bad (Gravity Games: Vert, Street, Dirt,  an abysmally bad Tony Hawk ripoff from the early 2000's immediately springs to mind) and some downright strange (Four words: Disney's Extreme Skate Adventure).  But only one company tried so hard and failed so miserably, and that's Acclaim, and BMX XXX.
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This is genuinely what some of the worst impulses of the video game industry look like.
Acclaim had found success early on by getting Dave Mirra Freestyle BMX out only one year after Tony Hawk's Pro Skater, and it certainly wasn't a terrible game.  It felt a little clunkier than what came out of Neversoft at the time, but it was definitely playable.  Acclaim also went on to put out Aggressive Inline, which, while it might sound insane to say about an inline skating video game, is genuinely one of the best extreme sports games ever made.  So Acclaim had real reason to believe they actually could put something out that would rival Tony Hawk!  Then they put out BMX XXX.  
BMX XXX is one of the most insipidly stupid things that any company has ever produced, certainly one of the worst video games ever made, and was so bad that Dave Mirra forced Acclaim to take his name off of it before release.  You really can boil this game down to two things: Dave Mirra's okay BMX game play, and the horn-dog mindset of a 13 year old boy that just found an issue of Hustler in the woods.  It's incredibly embarrassing!  Full of hookers, pimps, literal strip club videos, dogs fucking and humor that was shitty and mean spirited even by the standards of 2004.  It's astounding that anybody thought this game would sell at all, let alone do the impressive numbers they wanted for it.  Even the console manufacturers didn't really seem to want this thing on their consoles, Sony out and out censored the nudity even (which yes, the game featured full polygonal breasts, and they are horrifying to look at today), and though the other two allowed the nudity to slide, they made it pretty clear they thought the game was terrible.
BMX XXX is a punchline today, rightfully, but I think it did so much harm to the idea of a competing extreme sports franchise, that any further attempt to really hone in on an Tony Hawk alike just sort of stopped right there.  It actually came out pretty early on, in 2002, long before some of the other games I've mentioned on this list even, but the damage it did was impossible to ignore.  Activision kept trying, we still got the occasional excellent SSX game, and we got Skate.  Hell, we even got Ubisoft making a couple of tries, first with Shaun White doing a snowboarding and Skateboarding game, then with Steep.  The concept wasn't killed entirely, a favorite of mine, Amped 3 for Xbox 360, even came out just a few years later, but it felt like the spirit was gone, and it never really came back.  Thankfully, these days, we have more independent developers putting out their own vision of what an extreme sports game can be.  I hope this new generation of developers can really get us back to the glory days of the extreme sports game, and even if they don't end up making it too far, at least they're going to try.
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And things might get a little weird.
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anhed-nia · 5 years
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i just flaked out of the last session of a series of mycology classes that I signed up for this summer. this is extremely rare for me, as i typically torment myself with feelings of obligation that almost only amount to opportunities to feel bad about something. in this case, i also paid for the damn things, in an amount that turned out to be way more than they were worth. i had really high hopes for these classes; before i started my horticulture program, i was looking for opportunities to study mushrooms, but there didn’t seem to be anything in nyc besides a couple of social clubs. i follow a number of mycology organizations and farms online though, and i was thrilled when one of my favorites announced that they would be coming from upstate to teach a series of five classes in washington heights. during the introduction phase of our first class, i blithely declared that i was excited to do something that was more academic than just meetups with hobbyist groups. nobody disabused me of that idea, and they really should have.
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washington heights is technically in manhattan, but for me it might as well be out of town. when the original schedule went out, it said we would meet in the afternoon, and i didn’t find out until shortly before the first session that we are actually starting at 10am. that got me up at ass o’clock to shower, gather my materials, and travel an hour and a half by train, bus, and kind of a long walk to get to the rec room of an apartment building where our first session. i realized i would be travelling a cumulative three hours for a three hour class, but i was still feeling pretty stoked. i didn’t develop a sense of dread until i got there, and saw that the room was empty except for the two organizers. they were playing reggae on a boombox and blazing a ton of nag champa, as one of them shuffled around the room barefoot waving a smudge stick around. i bit my proverbial tongue, trying to shelve my prejudices so they didn’t get in the way of the obviously awesome education i was about to get. a central coffee table was piled with all sorts of text books and dry specimens that i dove right into. i might have left right then, though, if i knew what i heard about an hour later, that they referred to this table as “the Altar.”
other people showed up as much as half an hour later, which annoyed me a little bit since i had woken up in the dark that morning to prepare for this. admittedly i don’t really understand the concept of fashionable lateness, but i felt like casually gouging 30 minutes out of a 3 hour paid event was kind of unfair. as it turned out, the instructor had failed to bring the equipment she needed for her powerpoint presentation, so we were delayed further while she tried and failed to scrounge up cables, and we missed out on visual aids and actual videos that probably would have been pretty useful. once we sat down and introduced ourselves, the second red flag popped up: a lot of the people in the room seemed to know each other. obviously that’s not bad in and of itself, but i could see what was happening. i was in the midst of a clique who were basically there to do what they would do under any other circumstances: listen to bad music, choke on incense, perform pseudo-spiritual rituals, and roll around on the floor. the difference between them and me, bigger than their intimacy and aesthetic values, was that i had paid [redacted] amount of money just to sit on the periphery of their fun hangout and listen to them sling rote revolutionary slogans and sociology jargon. some folks brought up important topics, like food sovereignty and mycoremediation, but we would never get deep enough into our topic to really address anything that interesting.
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when it was my turn to talk, i realized that this was going to be an experience that i hadn’t really had since high school--my hair was wrong, my clothes were wrong, my speech was wrong, and i had been marked as a weirdo and an outsider. believe it or not, as an adult, i don’t much worry about what people might think about me, unless they force my awareness of it. i just figure i’m kind of different from a lot of people i encounter, and we can handle that with appropriate levels of polite distance. but, in the class, as the only person wearing black, and the only person in a collared shirt, and one of the only people who kept her shoes on and sat in a chair, it was impossible to ignore the discomfort people had with me. maybe it was also the fact that i failed to cite indigenous religions as part of my reason for being there, or to talk about “holding space” for healing or whatever. i actually went out of my way to be friendly and vocal, thinking i could alleviate some of the tension, but in some ways that seemed to make things worse. but i never thought i would have to worry about any of this; i mean call me crazy, but i really thought i was there to learn about fungi.
when the class finally started in earnest, my mistake became even clearer. A minor point of contention for me was the teacher’s casual snark toward the psychedelic community. i’m well aware of how bro-y that world can be, but i still thought it was kind of lame that she had to toss out barbs at drug nerds who refer to primordia as “pin sets” while doing a mean voice and rolling her eyes dramatically. maybe she felt like it was necessary to clarify that this would not be an entheogen-centric course, but she could have done better than to make fun of the way people talk. i say this because when she introduced scientific taxonomy basics, she mentioned “kingdom,” and pointedly followed it with the correction “OR QUEENDOM.” i can understand why we should challenge gendered vocabulary in non-gender-related areas, but it really made me feel like standing up and saying EXCUSE ME BUT YOU ARE USING VERY BINARY TERMS RIGHT NOW AND I WISH YOU WOULD ASSUME ACCOUNTABILITY FOR MAINTAINING A SAFE SPACE FOR EVERYONE. worse than that, when it came time to describe how substrate becomes inoculated with mycelium, she first used the correct mycological vocabulary, saying “the mycelium colonizes the soil”, and then added boldly, “BUT WE’RE NOT GOING TO USE THAT WORD.” this drove me absolutely insane. first of all, as with the kingdom/queendom distinction, she’s just making things confusing for people who are totally brand new to the topic and will absolutely need to know what the common contemporary terms are before they can make informed decisions about what kind of language they want to subscribe to later. secondly, this isn’t like the debate over reclaiming words like “queer”--”colony/colonization” is not a slur. it also doesn’t carry a moral connotation; even when we describe conquistadors colonizing central america, that doesn’t describe the inherent superiority of the spanish and inferiority of the indigenous peoples. colonization is the accepted description of a population of organisms taking over a certain area. i mean are we also working on changing the term ”ant colony” or even “artists’ colony”? is that a reasonable use of our collective political energy? and secondly, i agree that decolonizing thought is important. i remember the moment when, as an art history student, a professor taught us how to make a certain point by using the word “germinal” instead of “seminal”; i get the concept. but i don’t think that the problem of colonized thought is the use of the word “colonize” itself, and i don’t think that depriving us of the ability to describe colonization is going to help us identify and attack instances of...FUCKING COLONIZATION.
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by the end of the first session...well, i couldn’t tell if it was the end exactly people had started milling around and snacking and talking about whatever, and considering our late start and just the general atmosphere of confusion, i wasn’t sure if i was supposed to wait for something else to happen. finally i just walked off, feeling pretty agitated. but, i clung to the idea that maybe further sessions would be of more value, that it was ok for the first class to consist of a bunch of shit i already knew as a result of casual interest, or could have easily looked up on wikipedia. future sessions were supposed to focus on field ID and foraging, and medicinal preparations and applications, among other things i’m ignorant of. i told myself that once the material became more stimulating, i would be naturally distracted from the dirty feet and elaborate yoga poses and insidery preaching-to-the-choir political language of my classmates, and would find myself engrossed finally in one of my favorite topics. probably i also just didn’t want to acknowledge how much money i had wasted.
what should have been the second class was postponed because the instructor’s van had broken down, which was totally understandable, although it kind of felt like par for the course considering the messiness of the previous session. unfortunately, it threw off the whole schedule, so we then wound up having two back to back days together, a regular saturday session, followed by an all-day foraging excursion that started earlier than usual and took place even further away than usual. i might as well have just gotten a hotel room up there for the weekend, but whatever, i sort of understood the risks when i signed up. the foraging session was what i was most looking forward to, and was the biggest disaster. i still hadn’t gotten the memo about how cool it was to show up as much as 45 minutes late, even for an event where we were supposed to meet up at a remote horse stable and then venture into the woods together. we didn’t get started until a least an hour, probably more after the 9am start. i’d been there since 8:50, and had to sit through an interminable playtime in which everybody did chakra-clearing breathing techniques and stretches, improv exercises and vocal warmups, and played some dumb hippy game where everybody tries to steal a stick from one another. my aforementioned sense of tortured obligation has caused me to submit to juvenile horrors like this in other circumstances, even though i thought adulthood was supposed to exempt me from this gym class bullshit, but i put my foot down this time, and sat about 25 feet away patiently waiting for the class to start, suffering some accusative glances.
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the actual foraging we did was really fun, but being in the group was worse than ever. there was an excessive amount of anthropomorphizing going on, with all specimens described as “friends” that each student was encouraged to “meet” and “hang out with”, which resulted in a constant stream of high-pitched baby talk among us. i had been strongly warned against this anthropomorphizing mentality, both from a (fabulous, brilliant) druid-like arborist who taught my intro to botany class, and from the animal welfare community, all of whom correctly assert that projecting human needs and emotions onto non-human organisms is both delusional and actually dangerous for both people and the lifeforms around us...but whatever i guess. i had more immediate worries, because at some point, the baby talk gave way to improvised singing. it was brutally hot and dank in the woods, and the thrill of finding all kinds of different specimens was barely outweighed by the intense chagrin i felt as most of the group began stumbling through the creation of a hymn of gratitude to the mushrooms. sometimes we had to stop completely on the path so everyone could get in a circle and sing a round or three together. this was scheduled to be a 7 hour excursion, and by hour 3 i was seriously trying to work out at what point i would declare a family emergency or food poisoning and just run away.
part of the experience included a bit of a plant walk, led by one of the organizers who knew a lot about indigenous flora. this was sort of interesting in and of itself, and also relevant, since different mushrooms may grow on or near certain plants. but somehow, it still didn’t amount to a reasonable educational experience. half way through the hike, i noticed a classmate excitedly snatching up all the mugwort that she came across. she had been told by our guide about the many virtues of this “plant medicine”, a traditional cure-all for everything from epilepsy to PMS. what she hadn’t been told, evidently, is that mugwort is ferociously invasive, and practically impossible to get rid of. mugwort will choke out everything else around it, destroying the biodiversity that is necessary to support a healthy local ecology, losing us desirable plant life and starving out animal populations. i tried to tell her that she should be careful with that stuff, and avoid planting it in her yard if that was the fantasy, but she turned away irritably, clutching gnarled bundles of the sacred healer in her fists. it was a little thing, but somehow it really locked in the fact that i was in the wrong place. i hadn’t learned remotely as much new information about mushrooms as i should have in ~15 hours, and i had reason to believe that information we were getting could be less than reliable, or made unreliable by omission of other important facts. i had to get out of there. at some point we encountered a different mushroom group--a collection of appealing nerds in their 40s-60s called the Destroying Angels (after the deadly white amanita) who had accumulated a way cooler array of specimens than us, probably because they got started at a reasonable hour. i barely prevented myself from begging them to take me with them.
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we returned to our spot near the parking lot two hours ahead of our scheduled conclusion, and as before, the situation devolved into a general hangout with no clear indication that the educational portion of the day was over. there were more songs and more games, and though i was coerced away from my boulder in the sun to join the group around their blanket, i managed to feign sleep long enough to get out of most of the activities. i was legitimately exhausted, at least.when i was thoroughly convinced that the lesson was over, i told everyone that i was too tired to continue and left, sparing myself an hour and a half of further agony.
ever since, i had been worrying about the final class. i absolutely wanted to learn about medicinal preparations and tinctures and home-growing techniques. but could it possibly be worth it? could i even be sure that the session would consist of more than what i had already learned from experience, and from unfairly maligned drug nerds on the internet? was i not too annoyed that the date of this class wasn’t even announced until four days ago, even though the class basically requires a day trip for more students than just me? by last night, the answers were perfectly clear. i let the group know that “something came up” without specifying, and bid them farewell, thanking them for their “inclusivity” among other things, which only i know is a joke. (at the end of the last i informed them all that i have ASD and don’t like to be touched, and i had the satisfying sense that they all realized that that was part of the reason i refused to join in their reindeer games) i’m vaguely concerned that i will have to deal with an annoyed instructor who literally owes me a bottle of tincture and growing materials as part of the price of the class, and who should really mail them to me now, but i can’t drag myself back to washington heights again just to avoid that nonsense. i don’t know what lesson i’m supposed to learn from this experience; maybe it’s enough to say that i don’t have to force myself to do everything i ever say i’m going to do, and also that in spite of the long way i have come from being an angry little punk poseur in college, i still hate hippies as much as ever. the end.
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thepucegoose · 5 years
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Starsky is Canonically Jewish - A Moodboard & Analysis
A detailed exploration of all the Many Many aspects in the canon that point to Starsky being Jewish can be seen under the cut + bonus headcanons! 
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So I was looking at Starsky’s fanlore page and the discussion there talks about hints within the canon that Starsky may be Jewish. As one commentator notes, “There is plenty of mild justification for Starsky being Jewish”. Tbh, I’d say that, whilst subtle and never explicitly addressed, there is far more than just mild justification to suggest that Starsky is Jewish, and that he is in fact canonically so (and also I found the menorah they were talking about and I felt like I was on Myth-busters, which I’ve never seen but I imagine they mainly investigate fandom hearsay regarding background menorahs and other such suggestions. I’m insanely proud for having found it please appreciate because it took me a Very long time to, although I’ve found in researching this that there was at least one screenshot of it online here from 2011 :D). 
TV Tropes has Starsky down for the Ambiguously Jewish trope and whilst I definitely agree that Starsky fits this trope description, I would say that there really is nothing ambiguous about it. There are just so so many aspects that come together. This boy is just canonically Jewish! 
(Disclaimer: I’m not Jewish. Although I am very much considering converting and I’ve been studying everything I can about Judaism for well well over a year or so now, as well as attending services through whatever means I’ve been able to, I am by No Means even remotely close to being knowledgeable on the topic. Still, I figured there were some things I’d noticed whilst watching that hadn’t been mentioned that I wanted to bring up, and I also wanted to pull together observations by others into one place because I’m always hyped for canon representation and creating coherent resources. Extensive Research Is My Jam. If I’ve got anything wrong; said something in an uncomfortable way; talked where it wasn’t my place to talk; made assumptions I shouldn’t have; or like, said/done literally anything else that feels even slightly off then Please Please say and I’ll do everything I can to sort it!!)
Reasons why I reckon Starsky is canonically Jewish: 
For one, Paul Michael Glaser is Jewish and if William Shatner being Jewish is good enough for my Jewish!Kirk headcanons then it’s sure as heck good enough for my Jewish!Starksy headcanons. Furthermore, according to Wikipedia, both Leonard Goldberg and Aaron Spelling are Jewish, and a good many of the writers have Jewish surnames too, though I can’t find out much about them specifically. Due to their fame, and therefore extended biographies, Wikipedia does specify that writers Michael Mann, and Fred Freiberger are Jewish. Joe Naar, who produced the show, was also Jewish, and used to joke that his style “was born out of being a short Jew with a huge chip on his shoulder.” Rick Edelstein was hugely involved in the writing of the later series and you can really see the influence Judaism has on his work, as is evident in his more recent short story, Bodega. He also ended his short video supporting Obama in '08 with "l'chaim, to life".
Essentially, I think Jewish people were involved in all levels of production within the show - from the writing, to the acting, to the direction, to the production - and this can be seen in the varied means by which it’s suggested that Starsky is Jewish himself. As such, suggestions that may have been seen as accidental otherwise can then take on greater significance, whilst the more explicit examples take on more emotional weight. 
Why, then, would it not be more explicitly stated that Starsky is, and was always considered to be, Jewish? I read a really interesting post the other day about how Jewish people in Hollywood often felt unable to include Jewish characters/actors/themes in their work out of fear of seeming too “tribalistic, or insular, or that Hollywood was (as it was in the antisemitic imagination) a ‘Jewish’ front”. Obviously, I can’t comment from a Jewish perspective, but when I was younger I felt similar pressure in regards to including queer characters. As such, I think it’s really exciting to see the very explicit references to Starsky being Jewish, even if they aren’t clearly obvious to a wider audience not actively looking for such references.
Paul Michael Glaser also played Perchik in Fiddler on the Roof (1971) - which I mention not only because it shows Glaser playing other Jewish roles, but also as a recommendation because I Love My Hyped Wee Jewish Communist Revolutionary Boy. Glaser talked about how Starsky was a culmination of other characters he’d played prior to Starsky (DVD extras) and I think this is quite evident in Starsky and Perchik’s respective behaviours. As a nod to this, the middle top picture is (apparently) from a Jewish Labour Bund publication. This is something you can learn more about on its Wikipedia article here, and there’s more interesting things about The Bund here and here as well!
As we all know, Starsky calls Hutch the Blond Blintz (to his Puce Goose) :D Here’s a recipe for blintzes from myjewishlearning.com - they’re like pancakes and it’s an Ashkenazim custom to eat them on Shavuot. Also I love the scene in The Set-Up: part 1 where he first calls Hutch the Blond Blintz and Hutch is like???? and Starsky just says Blintz very definitively and with no further explanation and Hutch is just like,,, u kno what,, I’m just going to roll with this.) 
I basically just really love this because it’s an example of Starsky being very openly and explicitly involved in Jewish culture, not just when he says it in The Set-Up, but also in Starsky’s Lady, when playing with the kids, especially as there aren’t a lot of references to things that carry on across multiple episodes.
I also like the way he pulls everyone else into his reference of it very un-apologetically; it feels very in character. There’s a picture of a blintz in the left column of the middle row! (Also, I feel like,,,, there might be some,,,, Freudian Implications to naming your partner after a rolled pancake filled with cream cheese that gets released when eaten?? @jimmyandthegiraffes fite me.)
Whilst Hutch looks at a glow in the dark cross being sold by Huggy in Jojo (written by Mann), Starsky picks up a mezuzah, which are put up at gateposts and door frames in Jewish homes - here’s a video about it :D The picture in the left-most bottom corner is Starsky inspecting this mezuzah. I really like this scene because he goes straight to it and seems to be considering it with very real interest. This is interestingly contrasted with Hutch picking up the cross, which isn’t the only time the show appears to draw a distinction between their respective cultural and religious heritages. 
I think that really responds to some of the stuff William Blinn has said about their casting and how thrilled they were to have two actors playing characters from such different backgrounds whilst having such great chemistry, and how that really helps form the magic of the show even (DVD extras). I think their respective choices really help to demonstrate how assumed it was that Starsky Would naturally pick up a mezuzah, in contrast to Hutch’s cross. 
The menorah (or actually Chanukkiah if we’re going to be really specific about it) in the background of Starsky’s apartment in Foxy Lady and in Blindfold. For so long I thought this was a myth but!! it’s not!!!! You can see it in the right hand column, middle row :D With the greatest thanks to the canon compendium for pointing out the episodes it appears in and also for like, literally everything else - it’s genuinely just the best fandom resource I’ve seen. I love this because I think, asides from a Magen David (Star of David), I think a menorah is one of the most well known symbols of Judaism and I think it’s really rad that it’s something the crew thought consciously to include, even if it is a largely not shown background detail. Again, it’s subtle but explicit which is why I would argue that Starsky is canonically Jewish.
It’s also worth remembering that even though it’s in an area in his apartment that doesn’t get shot by the cameras except on a few occasions, it Is a part of the apartment that’s Really visible from like, every direction and is right across from the front door. I’ve got another screenshot below from Blindfold that puts it more in context of where it is. I think this is really cool!! It’s obviously something he considers a big enough part of his life to keep on display year round and it’s something instantly recognisable and visible for anyone coming into his house (Foxy Lady came out on March 1st and Blindfold on October 21st, neither of which are around Chanukkah, if you’re going by episode air dates).
Speaking of the Magen David :D As can be seen in the episode Little Girl Lost, Starsky has a couple of blue six pointed stars on his dash under his Christmas decoration, as you can see in the top left hand corner of the mood board. I think this is really cool because Starsky is obviously very hyped for Christmas in this episode, hanging reindeer from his mirror and singing Christmas songs and being really hyped for presents, and this could be used to suggest that Oh No He Can’t Be Jewish He Likes Christmas, but not only does he only engage in secularised aspects of Christmas (in contrast to the nativity scene at Kiko’s house), there’s the very conscious inclusion of these stars. All the scenes in the car are set during Chanukkah, which ran from 16-24th December in 1976, and the stars are blue, which, along with white or silver, is often used for Chanukkah decorations and is traditionally associated with Judaism. Basically this remains in keeping with the subtle yet very conscious inclusion of Jewish symbolism, easily missed by those not thinking to look for it. 
Also I know heaps of Jewish people that enjoy the secular aspects of Christmas, particularly if the holiday has meaning for their friends. In Starsky’s case this might be more because he wants to annoy Hutch and he likes bickering or perhaps because he’s upset by Hutch’s increasing cynicism and wants Hutch to feel happier. Or because he wants a new caboose for his train set. Probably that.
In the bottom left hand corner you’ll see a picture of Paul Muni, born   Frederich Meshilem Meier Weisenfreund, Meshilem being his Hebrew name. I just like that Hutch suggests Starsky’s mother called him Rudolph Valentino and Starsky corrects him saying she “said I was more of the Paul Muni type”, suggesting the actor she compared him to was actually a notably Jewish one (Paul Muni references can be found in Lady Blue, as written by Mann, and Silence). Again, I think the contrast between Hutch suggesting a gentile actor, and Starsky raising a Jewish one instead is interesting, as well as highlighting Starsky’s mother’s engagement with, and perhaps predisposition towards, Jewish culture.
On it’s own this is perhaps more of a curiosity, maybe too much opportunity for coincidence to really warrant too much attention, but Dobey also chooses a Jewish comparison in The Velvet Jungle when he says, “who do you think you are, Starsky, Milton Berle?” So here we have two instances wherein the comparisons drawn with Starsky are with other Jewish personalities.
In Terror On The Docks (written by Freiberger), Huggy apologises for not bringing an ill Starsky chicken soup, instead bringing mustard green broth which, “where I come from is just as effective”. This might not have much significance in and of itself, except that literally just 2 episodes later, in Shootout, Sammy Grovner makes a joke about chicken soup being Jewish penicillin. In addition, Huggy’s reference to his own culture’s cure-all suggests that chicken soup would have been the culturally appropriate first-choice for Starsky. As such, I’ve included a picture of matzo-ball chicken soup in the top left hand corner. 
Also, in The Game, Hutch says in regards to their soup related upbringings that, “we obviously had different mothers” and Starsky says, “yeah, mine was chicken soup, yours was,, clam chowder”, which isn’t really that important except that the show likes to highlight their different cultural upbringings and once again they’re doing so by referencing something that is widely culturally understood to be Jewish, having already explicitly stated it within the show to be so. (I could write a whole dissertation about cultural soup references in Starsky and Hutch, but I’m not going to. Just note that there are a weird amount of them.)
We see in Running that Starsky calls his mother every Friday evening. I think this is really interesting because, if they were both observant orthodox, they wouldn’t be using electricity on Shabbat. I mean, duh, Starsky is Not observantly orthodox but this scene shows that neither is his mother. Any yet, the time they’ve picked to talk each week is on Friday evenings, when many Jewish families come together for Shabbat dinner. As such, I think this shows how Starsky’s Judaism holds a place within his life and his routines, as well as suggesting what tradition he may have been brought up in. I personally headcanon conservative, but Reform works too!
As the fanlore page says, “Starsky looked stunned when Nancy's mother asked him if he were Catholic in 'Terror on the Docks,' to which he replied he was not.” This scene is a really interesting one to watch for this (and, again, was written by Freiberger), and whilst this merely shows that he’s not Catholic, his confusion and bafflement suggests just how surprising this question is to him, and his discomfort is evident as he laughs awkwardly. I think this is an experience many minorities can attest to, and he’s feeling the unease that comes when you’re put under pressure to reveal a part of your identity that may well be not received well. 
In terms of the canon, I think the way in which this is played is so in line with the concept that Starsky is Jewish that it really suggests that this was something in clearly in mind in regards to his characterisation, at least by a number of the people working on the show. 
In terms of headcanons, I like Starsky’s bewilderment here because it seems like he straight up just thought it was obvious that he was Jewish, and so it offers an in-universe explanation for why he never says “I’m Jewish”, rather than the external explanation regarding the fears surrounding creating explicitly clear Jewish characters in the 1970s. 
It is interesting, in universe, that he doesn’t then say, “No, Mrs. Blake, I’m afraid I’m Jewish”, but I think this shows Starsky’s reticence to talk about his background with strangers, despite his comfort proudly talking about blintzes with Hutch and Terry. This is frankly just understandable, given the existence of antisemitism and Mrs Blake’s evangelical Catholicism, and again offers another explanation for why he never says I’m Jewish, wherein everyone he feels comfortable knowing already know, so there’s no need for him to say that. 
(This said, @jimmyandthegiraffes and I headcanon that he just explains everything he doesn’t know with the fact he’s Jewish, even when it’s totally unrelated, *queue Starsky’s sage voice* “Ah see, I wouldn’t know whether those out of date eggs are safe to eat because I’m Jewish.” - Hutch is going to throw something. Also saying he can’t eat something healthy Hutch has made because it’s not kosher, whilst eating something obviously treif, which I made a post about here.)
We also see Starsky’s reticence to talk about his background with antagonistic strangers/suspects in The Committee, “Starsky? What is it, Polish?” “Something like that.” And yet, in Starsky And Hutch Are Guilty we see Starsky talk with Sharon, with whom he obviously feels comfortable with, about his home cooked goulash, “My mother gave me a recipe straight from the old country.” Again, this shows an in universe explanation for why we never see Starsky talk about his background explicitly, as those who he feels comfortable knowing already know.
This line is also interesting as it suggests information about Starsky’s heritage that pretty clearly implies a family with an immigrant background;  this again would be in line with the experience of many Jewish people in the US, particularly when considering Starsky’s roots in New York as many families settled there fleeing pogroms and persecution. I headcanon that Starsky’s father was killed just after his 13th birthday (and his Bar Mitzvah) and moved to Bay City the summer after (this is taking Glaser’s birthday as Starsky’s for consistency).
This would mean Starsky lived in New York 1943-1956. The Jewish population of New York was at its peak in 1950 at 2 million. Still today, New York City is the largest community of Jews in the world within a city proper, including Tel Aviv. I think it perhaps goes without saying that this was and is particularly true in Brooklyn. I’ve seen lots of fics argue about where about in New York Starsky is from (with one claiming New Jersey which was pretty left field). The closest connection to New York that I have is that I grew up on the outskirts of the city it was named after. If you ever want to visit York, it has a lot of chocolate museums and a nice Gothic cathedral and a bad connection with Jewish history. I’m on a tangent. My point is, although I can figure Yorkshire accents, I’m not especially good at figuring out the nuances of New York accents so I leave it up to you lot, and on the whole people tend to suggest that he has a Brooklyn accent. We also know he has swum at Coney Island, and that the sea there tastes better than on the playboy island (Murder on Voodoo Island: part 2).
What we do know is that Starsky grew up on 84th Street (Targets Without A Badge: part 2) although there do seem to be a Lot of 84th streets in New York. We also know that if we are agreeing on Brooklyn then 84th street runs through Bay Ridge, Dyker Heights, and Bensonhurt. I figure Bensonhurst works best because, even though it’s a very Italian neighbourhood now, until the 50s it was a Jewish/Italian neighbourhood, which works with Starsky’s grandmother’s flat above the Italian restaurant (Shootout). It also works with the implications surrounding Starsky’s family and the mob (The Set-Up: part 1) as the Bath Avenue Crew operated in Bensonhurst. The mob thing is also interesting when considering Starsky’s Jewish heritage. There’s a painted Bensonhurst shop front in the bottom middle of the mood board which has been kept the same since the 1950s when Starsky could have been living there!
This has all been largely (or wholly) tangential, but essentially my point is that what we know of Starsky’s heritage chimes pretty neatly with the experience of many Jewish Americans, which again ties in with the argument that Starsky’s Judaism was something held in mind by those involved in the creation of the show. 
Another thing I found interesting was in an article I was reading about Paul Simon, born less than two years before Glaser. In regard to Simon, Donald Fagen says, “There’s a certain kind of New York Jew, [...] almost a stereotype, really, to whom music and baseball are very important. I think it has to do with the parents. The parents are either immigrants or first-generation Americans who felt like outsiders, and assimilation was the key thought — they gravitated to black music and baseball looking for an alternative culture.” Simon responded to say that this wasn't too far from the truth. Obviously, Starsky enjoying baseball does not at all mean anything about him being Jewish, but it does fit in with his Jewish New York upbringing, from his father taking him to see the Yankees and him collecting baseball cards (Vendetta), to his enthusiasm with Pete (Little Girl Lost). 
It is worth noting how this enthusiasm for baseball seems to be something that Starsky engages in far more than Hutch, which is interesting given Soul's history with the sport. (I feel like they definitely could have done more with the fact that David Soul was a good enough player to be offered a contract with the Chicago White Sox). Perhaps this wasn't pursued because a passion for baseball was thought to be more in line with Starsky's upbringing, versus Hutch's Sea Scouts. Again, this maybe suggests a certain narrative held in mind regarding Starsky’s background and how it influenced his characterisation.
Curiously, any Yiddish on the show is typically said by Hutch rather than by Starsky. In Vendetta, Hutch says to Artie Sorkin, “Fagin, faigeleh. What’s the differences? You’re vermin.” Faigeleh meaning homosexual. Also, as the canon compendium notes, “Hutch calls his houseplant ‘Meschugah Mantherlus.’” ‘Meschugah’ means crazy in Yiddish.  “‘Mantherlus’ doesn’t translate as anything but is probably an inside joke and supposed to sound Latin.” (Ballad for a Blue Lady, co-written by Glaser.) 
Largely I just found this interesting, but I did read a really cool study talking about the use of Yiddish in the American vernacular and one of its many findings was that gentiles with close Jewish friends were, unsurprisingly, more likely to use more Yiddish terminology. Also, unrelated but super fascinating, LGBT+ people were more likely to use Yiddish too.
On the Jewish immigrant experience, in Partners Starsky tries to get Hutch to play Pinochle with him, claiming "you love Pinochle", suggesting this is a game they frequently play together. Pinochle used to be a favourite card game of Jewish and Irish immigrants. I get that at this point I'm probably clasping at straws but I'm going for as comprehensive as possible, and I think it creates a good story about Starsky playing it with his family and later teaching it to Hutch.
It is interesting how Hutch is possibly shown to be engaging with Jewish culture in regard to both his use of Yiddish and his love of Pinochle. This may well be because Jewish culture permeates American society, after all it's Soul we see say the Yiddish "putz" in the bloopers. But it is slightly interesting that these were lines given to Hutch, perhaps for plot purposes, or because the writers were choosing to include their own culture and ways of speaking in a way that is safer through the evidently gentile Soul rather than the conspicuously Jewish Glaser. 
There are other instances of Judaism in Starsky and Hutch that aren’t necessarily pointing to Starsky being Jewish but that are notable. Huggy Bear and the Turkey starts with Starsky and Hutch undercover in Caplan Laundry, where Hutch seems to be undercover as an orthodox Jewish man (and Starsky his wife? Seemingly? They certainly uh, go for it in the bloopers). 
Caplan/Kaplan is a surname found in a number of cultures but it is a common Ashkenazim surname which also makes me headcanon Officer Minnie Kaplan as Jewish because we all want more Jewish headcanons in our lives and I think it puts her friendship with Starsky in an interesting context. (Marki Bey more like Marki Bae)
Again, it's Hutch we see taking on the more visibly Jewish role, although this does not go to negate Starsky's own Jewishness, as this may well be understood to be his influence on the friend he spends significantly more than 75% of his time with. Also, it can be assumed that Starsky is undercover as a Jewish woman as he appears to work at the launderette. 
Obviously A Body Worth Guarding is the episode that deals most with Judaism as the Jewish protesters are a central plot feature. It’s interesting that Starsky’s involvement with them is largely hostile, however, I think this is more to do with the circumstances. At first he believes they’ve hired muscle to hurt Anna so he goes in hard which means the Jewish Organisation for Action respond with a more hostile approach. And yet, he’s completely on-board with dropping the JOA lead and following the fascist one as a result of Kauffman’s logic that attacking Anna would only lead to more antisemitism, which despite being a sound argument had no actual evidence to support it. From this point Kauffman is still resistant to working with Starsky which means Starsky maybe is more heavy handed in his approach, but it is on order to get Kauffman to help him follow the fascist lead. Once the job has been done he seems a lot softer towards the JOA and genuinely thankful for their help.
Essentially, the episode is noteworthy but Starsky’s reaction to the JOA tells us not so much about his own personal beliefs and upbringing and more about how he approaches his job. I do think it interesting that he believes Kauffman’s logic and subsequently drops all suspicion of the JOA and instead trusts him enough to bring him in as help.
Also Huggy calls the JOA the “desert people” which might just be Huggy’s turn of phrase but I think it feels more comfortable if Starsky is Jewish as it’s more like banter between friends then.
In spite of all these very purposeful allusions and references to Starsky’s Judaism, in Savage Sunday he complains about having to work on a Sunday, the Christian sabbath instead of Judaism’s Shabbat. And yet, I don’t believe this undermines Starsky’s Jewish presentation as it seems that his complaints are more that he expects to have Sunday off because he is in a Christian society which usually allows him a break on a Sunday to which he can look forward to. When he’s complaining about working on a Saturday in Jojo (written by Mann), Hutch says, “Could be worse, could be Sunday”, to which Starsky replies, “Come on, Saturday’s bad enough”, bemoaning all the sports that he could be watching instead. 
This is interesting too as you could easily use this to headcanon him using sport as an excuse to express his frustrations at having to work on Shabbat, especially as it’s Hutch who says, “Could be worse, could be Sunday.”
Note: It was mentioned on the fanlore page that Huggy gives Starsky a wreath of garlic ‘for those of other persuasions’, but, as far as I can tell, the garlic is to ward off vampires of “all the rest of the denominations” when the cross for “any vampire of Christian persuasion” won’t be of help, rather than the garlic being for non-Christian vampire hunters. As always, I’m loving Huggy’s enterprising approach to religion, making sure he covers all bases, but it’s not really a suggestion that Starsky is Jewish, just that he needs to protect himself from non-Christian vampires.
In the same vein, Huggy does say “Shalom” to Starksy (and to Hutch) in Dandruff, though this seems to be more as an aspect of his undercover role as Prince Nairobi.
Essentially, Starsky is frequently presented as engaging with Jewish culture, practices, and traditions, often very visibly so. Aside from the very explicitly Jewish references, Starsky is very frequently characterised in a way that suggests his being Jewish was held in mind, on a writing level, an acting level, a direction level, and a production level. As I mentioned earlier, American society in imbued with Jewish culture and so many of these things may have been purely incidental. However, coupled with the more explicit examples of Starsky's Judaism they may be said to take on greater purpose and subsequent significance. Pretty much across the board, he is understood to be Jewish and whilst these references maybe subtle enough to pass by those not engaged with Judaism or considering it a possibility, this does not preclude Starsky’s Judaism from being a very knowing and explicit inclusion, and therefore canon.
Given all this, I have some headcanons about to what extent Starsky is practising! 
We canonically know he doesn’t keep kosher – I mean this boy eats linguine with clams. I have read a fic where Hutch is forbidden from telling Starsky’s ma that he eats bacon or meat with dairy and I really like this as a headcanon. I definitely think she Knows but she lets Starsky pretend he doesn’t because it keeps him happy.
We also know neither he nor his mother have qualms about not being shomer Shabbos, but as I mentioned earlier, we Do see them using Friday evenings as the time they choose to call one another.
We know he doesn’t wear a kippah on the regular, too. And he never says the Sh’ma out loud if he thinks he’s about to die, although I do think he probably says it to himself. Again, I think I’ve read a fic about that. As I reread the ones I have bookmarked I’ll add them in if I can find them.
Other than these examples, pretty much everything else as far as I can tell is fair game, particularly if you’re considering along the lines of Reform, or even conservative, depending on the community. I know a lot of Jewish people who would consider themselves to be actively practicing who don’t keep kosher or who work on a Saturday etc.
About that, as I mentioned above, we know he does sometimes work on a Saturday (and he complains about it). This suggests that he doesn’t necessarily frequent synagogue regularly, particularly as he was frustrated about missing the sport he likes to watch on a Saturday.
However, for one thing, this doesn’t mean he Never goes to temple, and for another, we do know that Starsky very likely celebrates Chanukkah, due to his Chanukkiah. Chanukkah is a relatively minor Jewish holiday and so if he celebrates this it’s likely he also celebrates other, more significant holidays, and high holy days. Maybe he doesn’t go to shul every week, but a synagogue on Yom Kippur is generally full of people who are not regular attenders.
Please imagine this boy trying to fast I bet Hutch would be glad as hell that Starsky isn’t at work lol.
Personally, I tend to headcanon that Starsky moves to greater observance post Sweet Revenge. I think the hospital rabbi is good at playing Pinochle and the two become friends and they have good philosophical debates and Hutch joins in and after Starsky is discharged they want to see the rabbi so they start regularly attending shul and they both find something they can get out of it, especially as I headcanon that they retire from the force I think it gives them a community. For Starsky, I think it gives him a connection to his heritage and his family and maybe his father in particular, as well as a focus on social justice work through the synagogue so that he and Hutch can still feel like they’re making a difference. Tbh, I think that Hutch might find a lot to connect to in Judaism, maybe in the way it’s focused on making a difference in the here and now and not in order to access some afterlife. To be clear, I don’t think that’s necessarily the angle Christianity takes but I think it is how Hutch might perceive it and I think he might find Judaism more grounding in that respect. Also, if he converts then Starsky’s ma would be thrilled that if he hasn’t found a nice Jewish girl then at least he’s found a nice Jewish boy and Starsky will tease that Hutch’s hair is so long he might as well be a girl. I think it would create a really interesting relationship between Starsky’s ma and Hutch where they talk about Judaism and she introduces him to recipes and books and stuff and later Hutch is showing Starsky and he’s like, how come Ma never showed me?! And Hutch is like, she tried to idiot you just got distracted. And they can just, explore stuff together. It’s really soft.
Also, I think they host Shabbat dinners every Friday and it’s really cool because it’s a way that they can stay in touch with the Dobeys after they’ve left the force, and how they can stay close with Huggy when they’re not visiting for tips every other day. Also Kiko and Pete can come and then stay the night and spend Saturday with them maybe to give Mrs. Ramos a break. Minnie can come too and say the prayers!! Plus Paco Ortega and Joey and tbh any number of the other kids they’ve accidentally adopted over the years.
Pesach at theirs is just, the fullest house you can possibly imagine I love it. @jimmyandthegiraffes came up with the idea that there isn’t space for Dobey and the boys are like, oh you’re sat on the counter and he’s like? But there’s an empty chair and place set out here?? And he goes to sit down and everyone is like, nOOoO that’s for Elijah!! You cAnt sIT in Elijah’S plaCe?!
Gosh I love them
Starsky high key calls the new year “secular Rosh Hashanah”
Even though I personally headcanon a greater observance after sweet revenge, there really is nothing at all to say he isn’t at least somewhat practising over the course of the series and even that he is, given the Chanukkiah and what that means about holidays. I like how he keeps it up year round to maybe keep in mind his faith/upbringing/background.
I think it’s interesting that many of the fics that engage with Starsky as Jewish often suggest that he’s not religious, which is of course completely possible. However, just because he doesn’t ever talk about a faith in God doesn’t mean it isn’t present, especially when faith is often something so private and proselytising isn’t a part of Judaism. Personally I think that Starsky does have faith in God throughout the series and after, and this does impact his relationship with Judaism prior to Sweet Revenge as he considers things like the mezuzah and engages with Jewish culture, but that it’s after Sweet Revenge that he starts engaging with his faith more as connected to Judaism and religious traditions, rather than I’m going to celebrate my culture and upbringing and also I have a faith in God. He sees the two as more connected perhaps? and his faith as having a more direct impact on his life.
I really like how Huggy says the thing about the chicken soup too, and the “desert people” line is made a lot sweeter by thinking of him as a cool supportive friend who Starsky has known for a long time and who typically engages with Judaism specifically because it means something to Starsky.
I seemingly have a lot of thoughts on this.
Also, I really like how he calls him blintz, weird Freudian implications aside, especially because blintzes can be eaten at any time but are typically associated with Shavuot and I like the idea that Starsky has really a really fond association with his religion but also with Hutch. I really like the idea that if Hutch converts then the two can stay up all night together, eating blintzes and cheese and Hutch can maybe read aloud for my dyslexic boy.
Essentially, I just really love thinking about this and I think there’s more space for an actively practising Starsky than there’s generally understood to be, religious or not, even over the course of the show. Especially if you consider Reform Judaism. But tbh just give me Jewish!Starsky fics and I’m happy whatever they’re like.
I’ve worked really hard to find each scene I’ve mentioned on my DVDs (this post has taken me literally So Long to write (9 months-ish? it’s my Child) and I’ve researched it far Far more than I do my uni assignments whoops), so you can be sure I’ve checked to make sure each reference is legitimate. If you want to see screenshots of these quotations, or you want to know whereabouts in the episodes they occur, then message me! If you have additional examples or you disagree with me or if you’ve spotted a mistake then share that too!
With all my thanks to my partner Chester who’s put up with me banging on about this and spending Hours and Hours being ridiculously pedantic in the hopes of creating as coherent a resource as I can. They’ve also contributed so much and just they’re rad. I also cannot thank enough the canon compendium for helping me fill in all the blanks and pointing me in all the directions I needed to go in, I Genuinely cannot think of a better fandom resource. Also the first 3 seasons scripts are available here which is a huge help.
tldr; Starsky is irrefutably, canonically Jewish and also I love him 
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felinefctale · 4 years
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in which charity visits the psychiatrist. 
i cannot officially diagnose charity with any mental disorder, illness or condition –– these are all  possibilities  of what she might have and what she meets the requirements of. i have researched these conditions / disorders and completed several questionnaires ic, and i think these fit the bill . 
( note :  these diagnosis are main verse charity based. in her dc verse, most of her delusions are real. )
1 .  GRANDIOSE  AND  SOMATIC  DELUSIONAL  DISORDER . 
according to ‘MSD Manual’,  Delusional disorder is characterized by one or more firmly held false beliefs that persist for at least 1 month. Delusional disorder is distinguished from schizophrenia by the presence of delusions without any of the other symptoms of psychosis (for example, hallucinations, disorganized speech, or disorganized behavior). The difference between a delusion and a false or mistaken belief is that people continue to believe in a delusion no matter how much clear evidence contradicts it. 
Grandiose:  People are convinced that they have some great talent or have made some important discovery.
Somatic:  People are preoccupied with a bodily function or attribute, such as an imagined physical deformity or odor. The delusion can also take the form of an imagined medical disorder, such as having parasites.
Charity fits both of these bills ,  the grandiose delusion being that she has  nine lives  and is flawless in her approach to criminal activity and how she has certain ‘abilities’. the somatic delusion is that she has sharper canines and nails  than normal and that they are deadly weapons. she will also believe and will have others believe she emits feline pheromones
2  .   NOS  DISSOCIATIVE  DISORDER .
psychcentral.com’s description of this disorder is ‘A dissociate disorder NOS (not otherwise specified) is a disorder that includes a dissociative symptom (i.e., a disruption in the usually integrated functions of consciousness, memory, identity, or perception of the environment) that does not meet the criteria for any specific dissociative disorder. “Not otherwise specified” disorders are those that don’t fit into any existing diagnostic categories and are generally rare.’
Charity doesn’t fit 100% of either dissociative disorder .  She has some amnesia and some lack of identity. but mainly this order comes into her childhood. she constantly projected herself onto next door’s cat ,  and the trauma of killing her mother, henry and rachel and being hit by a car caused amnesia from the repression and a new identity to be assumed, soon to be followed by a move from the original location. 
3  .  HISTRIONIC  PERSONALITY  DISORDER  .
this is one disorder that charity 100% has .  Again defined by psychcentral.com, ‘Histrionic personality disorder (HPD) is characterized by a  long-standing pattern of attention seeking behavior and extreme emotionality .  Someone with histrionic personality disorder wants to be the  center of attention in any group of people ,  and they feel uncomfortable when they are not. While often  lively, interesting, and sometimes dramatic ,  they have difficulty when people aren’t focused exclusively on them. People with this disorder may be  perceived as being shallow, and may engage in sexually seductive or provocative behavior to draw attention to themselves . 
Without being aware of it, they often act out a role (e.g., “victim” or “princess”) in their relationships to others. They may seek to control their partner through emotional manipulation or seductiveness on one level, yet displaying a marked dependency  on them at another level.’ 
I’ve yet to fully write charity in a relationship. but i believe that this is something she could do. however, emotional manipulation isn’t her style.  sexual manipulation - definitely .  she is a PRINCESS! but she doesn’t tend to go for the deeper side of things. she is  shallow , loving anything that glitters - and she is such an attention seeker it’s insane. the dramatic display of emotion and revealing costume - she’ll say it’s a ‘cat thing’! 
4  .  NARCISSISTIC  PERSONALITY  DISORDER  . 
now this one is actually quite hard for me to write, as i used to live with someone with this disorder and it is horrible. some people with this disorder can be very dangerous .  I know a lot about this disorder because of my extensive research after disconnecting myself with the person I knew with it. According to psychcentral.com:
‘Narcissistic personality disorder is characterized by a long-standing pattern of grandiosity (either in fantasy or actual behavior), an overwhelming  need for admiration , and usually a complete  lack of empathy toward others . People with this disorder often believe they are of primary importance in everybody’s life — and to anyone they meet. People with narcissistic personality disorder often display snobbish, disdainful, or patronizing attitudes . 
In order for a person to be diagnosed with narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) they must meet five or more of the following symptoms:
Has a grandiose sense of self-importance (e.g., exaggerates achievements and talents, expects to be recognized as superior without commensurate achievements)
Is preoccupied with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
Believes that he or she is “special” and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
Requires excessive admiration
Has a very strong sense of entitlement, e.g., unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with his or her expectations
Is exploitative of others, e.g., takes advantage of others to achieve his or her own ends
Lacks empathy,  e.g., is unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others
Is often envious of others or believes that others are envious of him or her
Regularly shows arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes
CHARITY  DISPLAYS  ALL  OF  THESE  SYMPTOMS .  
HOWEVER .  I believe that these symptoms are slightly due to her delusional disorders. because of this new identity she has created for herself due to her repression of trauma, this is what she believes herself to be like. however, celia, the young girl hidden behind all of this new identity, is in fact not all that narcissistic. in a relationship with someone she truly cares about, there is potential for her to like them not because she sees herself in them but because of healthy, normal reasons ,  and to display a healthy amount of empathy . 
5  .  CLINICAL  LYCANTHROPY  . 
this is not ‘being a furry’ as much as i joke about it! according to wikipedia, Clinical lycanthropy  is defined as a  rare psychiatric syndrome that involves a delusion that the affected person can transform into, has transformed into, or is, an animal. Affected individuals believe that they are in the process of transforming into an animal or  have already transformed into an animal.  It has been associated with the altered states of mind that accompany psychosis (the mental state that typically involves delusions and hallucinations) with the transformation only seeming to happen in the mind and behavior of the affected person. 
It also seems that lycanthropy is not specific to an experience of human-to-wolf transformation; a wide variety of creatures have been reported as part of the shape-shifting experience.  Canines are certainly not uncommon, although the experience of being transformed into a hyena, cat, horse, bird or tiger has been reported on more than one occasion.’
I believe this one speaks for itself –– charity believes she was indeed a cat for the first fifteen years of her life.  she is still under that delusion and even when uncovering her true past, it is as if she has lived two lives. one as a cat and one as an abused and neglected traumatised child. 
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manjuhitorie · 5 years
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Hitorie’s various antics + bonus bursts of trivia - Mid June-July 2019
I’ll begin this long digest with news of ygarshy’s recent involvements! Because he has been dipping his toes into a few pools of waters and his bass is *chef’s kiss* precious.
It’s been disclosed that he played for the song ‘Shadow Tag’ on Ken Kamikita’s new album! Kamikita is a singer songwriter, also once known as KK, who belches out vivid vocals from his diaphragm while the substructure of skilled technique is there as instrumentals, holding it together sturdy. His songs are very thought-provoking alone, yet music isn’t his only reign as he writes scripts for his shows, he puts careful consideration into his visuals: and abracadabra! ygarshy is continuing to be supporting Wasureranne yo with concerts for the summer.Concurrent reports consist of ygarshy smiling, poker facing to hide his smile, yet his smile seeping out because of Shibata’s noble passion for music. Shibata will do risqué shouts or gatling release the word "sex" out of his mouth, when which yg will subtly sip his water in a means to dodge, or just knifesharp glare at him. I love these drunken bards. Wasureranee yo's twitter posts clips of them performing after ever show also!
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Also Wasurerannee yo with The 50 Kaitenz↑ good. June 8th was the Kankaku Pierrot x Hitorie concert, which was originally meant to be a joint show for their tour, yet was now turned into a jamboree of respects and thunder... Rie themselves were unable to attend yet Kan-ero nevertheless performed a cover of Ao, Polaris, and clenched a spiritual presence...! The cover of Ao is a tear trenchcoat I'm a trench of water... Kan-ero so good...
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I was finally able to tell Shinoda-san that “These lyrics are way too long.”. For the sake of today I had to spend the whole week sleeping on the couch, as my bed is practically buried by all the alphabet He wrote, yet still I simply want to thank him for leaving us with so many words. They’re really all so cool. I’m sorry for being unable to sing them well. Let’s meet up again soon. The photo shows a large cloth-covered bed-like surface strewn with printout papers of World End Dancehall, Montage Girl, Imperfection, and Senseless Wonder lyrics.... Because..... The setlist for Village Man’s Store’s concert on 6/13 went like this. 1. Senseless Wonder 5. Montage Girl 7. Imperfection 13. Ao Encore 1: World’s End Dancehall
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Thanks for coming to our show, “The Holy Land Pilgrimage - Village Man’s Store VS Hitorie”! Utmost love and gratitude goes out to Hitorie and all of you who made this day possible. P.S. Hitorie, cheers to doing even more with you in the future. From vocalist: Mizuno Gii. Mizugi “I sent Shinoda-san a LINE message reading “I'm going to be playing this song and this song and this song and~~... at the next show”. And normally right, you’d think someone’d reply “Sorry ‘bout making you do this” right? Yet Shinoda replied “Why’re you doin’ that many lololol” Han (drummer): “He laughed at you" After all is said and done, have y'all properly purchased 'Tsuiraku, Kurushiku wa Lucky Strike’ yet or what. It’s fire isn’t it
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((I hate(love) how Mizugi has (14 years old pun) in his profile, (63 years old) in this MV while dressing up as a slanky old man, and is actually 31 years old.)
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When is the rain going to stoppp
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There's a lot of people who dislike Weezer's Green Album but I like Green Album Is it cause the music takes such a different turn? Reply from Saito Shinya, the vocalist and producer of ONIGAWARA: The drums suddenly neatened up so it hit by surprise. Also Matt Sharp left. SND: Ahhh so it’s because of Matt Saito: Fans of their first-second album’s more squishy sound went into denial I think
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I can’t believe 'Sayonara Dake ga Jinsei da' isn’t here *The late 90's band 'Eastern Youth’ has uploaded the majority of their discography unto music streaming sites. Except for the niche EP which SND is fond of, but all their albums are cool so zipper your lips and open your eyes shuuush!
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Is Tanktop Shoutai's new video out yet They're a posse of blurred out faces with burlesque bases. Their current series is one where they dress up as Yugioh characters, roleplay them with accurate voices and cult-like enthusiasm, before the instigation of the series’ famous ~Shadow Games~ together. Which are all uhh, epic card games, yeah, like tabletop Jenga or  or Mariomaker or electric Russian roulette, pick them up like they’re Kuribos. It’s a riot.
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 I’m sure I’ve said this for the umpteenth time now but, my favorite album from syrup16g is “delayed" syrup16g are an indie band who began in 1993 and keep resurging again to pop off. With performances in Budoukan and high Oricon points on their back. This pivotal album of theres is mellow with whimpering instruments and ephemeral sounding visuals and it's really nice, thank you SND.
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Media outlets have been making misleading headlines like “A manga opposing the legalization of euthanasia”, and I bet there’s a lot of people are blindly dissing Death Harassment now Death Harassment is a comic written by Yoshida Yori, challenging the problems which could come with euthanasia, and a society which might pressure departure unto the unwilling. Euthanasia has been becoming a uproarious subject in Japan, ever since a woman fled to Sweden because she suffered brain diseases, and wanted to die while still preserving her sanity and dignity. People are now starting to welcome the prospect and yearn for a mercy fate but, please consider the demerits and the demoralization also, is the message. I translated the comic for fun also here.
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This evening as I was eating soba alone, in front of me were a middle-aged couple throwing curses at each other with sullied mouths, but by the time I finished my soba they were smiling together. I think that’s perfectly peachy. That reminds me, I ate 4 whole eggs today. I think I ate too much.
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My habit of getting the urge to play with people only at this time of the day, is really bad.  Posted at 3 AM JST.
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Yumao, also at 3~ AM JST.  Bubble milk tea for sensible people has been gaining traction on twitter but, the fact that it's not Chinese tea milk tea is the nonsense to me. There was a post about purchasing uncooked tapioca pearls at a Seijou Ishii (an exotic super market chain), and putting them inside of a convenience store bought bottle of cheap tea. Budget bubble tea.  In regards to Yumao’s comment, the Chinese oolong tea is such a standard I’m assuming he’s referring to that. Is this more flavor wars, the civil wars over various flavors of integrated foods from equal or same brands is rampant throughout Japan’s domestic history. It’s kinoko VS. takenoko etc. Why such fervor over flavor YUMA
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I gotta buy toothpaste I can’t sleep whatsoever so I thought if I drank I would get sleepy but I drank and it’s somehow backfired by revitalizing me so now I got no idea what the fuck to do, I’m screwed I’m screwed I know that feeling when your stomach is in a frenzy, too well
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I haven’t heard the term “moe” used in a while I kinda want to go heavy on it now Replies: "Shinoda you’re moe” “Shimoeda” “Your expression when you got kicked was so moe" (He was kicked by yg during SLEEPWALK ref: the 6/1 report)” “The term moe technically d- (*The definition copypasta-ed from wikipedia*).” Within a split second replies have already turned into hell so I’m putting the lid back on moe, please forgive me Damn it’s hot.
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I saw Tokyo Syoki Syodo in concert for my first time today. It was the best. I seriously thought I was gonna burst into tears. It might be a long time since I was last this excited to see a band live - it's been a long time since I even saw a concert live but still,,, I was surprised by how much of the lyrics to Saisei Button I subconsciously remembered. It just shows that Tokyo Syoki Syodo's songs are that good. They are a group who indulge in the typicality of cutesy culture, instagram filters, sparkling make-up, and all while flexing the power to whack you with whamming hard rock. He mentioned them again in his June 9th twitcast also, calling them natural and epiphanic to how bands can just be just as they are. I have no doubts that this is my top-played song these past few months. This is my anthem. -Saisei Rock, their most recent music video, check it out! I don’t even know how many years I’ve lived at this point but it’s not commonplace to find a song this great. 
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This example will only be understood by super like-minded folk, but I haven’t felt this way since I got obsessed with Sakasama Cider. 
He’s expressed countless times how much he likes this song and the artist, Gucha Gucha's, Though the story behind SND’s partiality may be ultimately uncertain, it can be easily understood from one listen. The guitarist and cofounder of the Gucha Gucha’s, Shimoyaka, borrowed Shinoda’s guitar for their first live. Chikyuu Monogatari chapter 3 uses Shimoyaka as a model.  Shimoyaka has posted porn on forums, getting banned from youtube, he was on a team with infamous Shotacon Kurage, here’s SND’s cover of Sakasama Cider playing over the team, nowadays he does retro~modern gaming livestreams or his own cooking episodes because he got kicked off a cooking show, he slipped at the Niconico Douga Game Party, he’s videos are quite civil now though Shinoda even joined him for a stream and is watching them often.  Shinoda on the July 9th live said not verbatim “When I heard Sakasama Cider and ‘Sad Delay-chan’’ live, I was amazed by Shimoyaka that he can actually make good songs. Justice doesn’t have to be one-sided~ Gucha Gucha’s are unrefined and shitty and helpless, but then they bounce back up with a sudden good song and it’s irresistible. I’m always yearning to meet those sort of exciting experiences. 
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We are people who clench our fists until our palms are red with blood, and we keep going on singing. Though we tend to forget it
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Happy birthday ygarshy!! ygarshy's birthday is on June 17th and I hope you celebrated. SND’s birthday is also on June 6th. And I Hope. If not they can still be celebrated 365/24. Because even SND had proceeded to tweet these words of celebration at…. 12 o’ clock AM June 18th. Right when the clock changed!!
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Look at this simultaneous trickery. Then Yumao RT-ed them both. I love you Rie… I love you so much...
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I liked when Brocken Jr. was hit by Prisman's rainbow shower and super fucking glowed. (Timestamp 1:38) Also Mariposa’s victory pose was freakish-, ly cool (Timestamp 3:14) Kinnikuman is branded as Ultimate Muscle foreignly, if you recognize it! This youtube video is is a short promo reel celebrating the 40th anniversary of the series, Yudetamago has been in it for the long haul and is well honored by the lords of the wrestlers.
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Wooooooooooah
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I wanna eat a negitoro bowl Raw tuna and scallions plomped on top of a bowl of rice The special issue of Kinnikuman, I didn’t think it would put me on the verge of tears like this. Chairman takes way too many goods to the table. Plus everyone is cheerfully chit-chatting about how absolutely maniacal of a character Robin Mask is. Robin Mask really is one loony mister. Most characters are weirdos on thin ice but Robin Mask is in a whole different league of weirdo so,,, Also for the 40th anniversary, an original episode was spotlighted in the 29th issue of Shounen Jump magazine. and taken for another spin! Chairman, AKA Harabote Muscle, had an emotional arc in it too. Robin Mask I'm guessing is as rambunctiously malicious as ever in it.
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The final episode of Sarazanmai had me bawling like a baby.
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A photo of the possession of Kinnikuman -Supermen Dictionary-.
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futurrrrrrrreee funnnnnnnnnnnk
I spent about 4 hours dancing alone in the club I am a party person Party people(パリピ is just ENG articulated into JP)* is a slang which means just that. It’s believed to have been originally popularized by a song called Let’s Party People from Illmania. Since then it’s curved to hold different nuances for all kinds of different people also. It can indicate ‘avid partygoers' or ’normies’ or it can just be for people who’re having a good time.
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Puuuuuuussssshhhh! An issue of 100M, an upcoming shounen manga by the author Uoto. It's bout a runner who’s world revolves around his sport and nothing other, who then meets a boy who runs only to forget the troubles of the rest of the world. The story spurts off from there. 笑顔いっぱい! https://youtu.be/QXuGweSMxUI @YouTubeさんから ときめきメモリアル キャラソング【おサカナになりたい~1000wに願いを~】~虹野沙希~(TokimekiMemorial music) https://youtu.be/rV16KgKKUi8 @YouTubeさんから YUNG BAE - Fly With Me https://youtu.be/BWgQvj0Nd_U @YouTubeさんから TenmaTenma - September https://youtu.be/6VsJgk5Qw6s @YouTubeさんから ~~~A slew of various song recommendations~~~
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People that're posting pics of ramen while talking about being on a vegan diet, and people who gang up on them both, aren't they all becoming a clusterfuck of boringness without even heed to their actions
People who were peacefully posting their favorite music until suddenly bursting blustery onto the net, ain’t that the definition of emotional instability SND are you heeding your own actions Seven-eleven when are you gonna sell microwavable mugimeshi (rice with boiled barley mixed in) Task-san (a trusty companion of all of Rie’s, and an even more lovable animator who runs most of Minaken): *Replied to SND with a photo of Seveneleven brand microwavable mugimeshi*  SND: So they do have it
As I was frying some fried eggs, it hit me, people who heedlessly throw heavy words at other people tend not to let anyone else complain about the heavy weights they themselves may put onto other people huh.. But actually that’s not necessarily true so whatever
I just recently caught up with Murata-sensei’s version of One-Punch Man but, thanks to the insanity of the quality level, Tatsumaki has gotten so sexy I burst out laughing See: ONE VS. Yusuke Murata 
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Clever folks, I’m positive you could figure out who my favorite One Punch Man characters are. There’s two of them.  The answer is King and Unlicensed Rider Oops there’s Zombieman too
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I’ve noticed that washing ashtrays squeaky clean seems to put me in a better mood The Marías - Cariño youtu.be/QHVp9xiUr9U @YouTubeさんから The Marias are soo good The 3 monkies game, the host is so cockeyed that I’m laughing out loud I think he’s talking about サルヂエ(Sarudie), a quiz show about 3 people donned in hyper-realistic monkey attire, overseeing the “homo sapiens” as they try to solve unique questions. Which are usually twists on daily life concepts, find the difference, or digesting puns on pop culture. The word Sarudie(猿知恵) itself refers to something which seems profound but is actually simple and shallow, like monkey business etc, and the hosts are spoofs of The Three Wise Monkeys, while they hooked in a lot of famous figures to be the quiz undertakers. I want the DVDs. Though if SND is talking about a different 3 monkey game then I’m oopsie-doopsie. I heard a voice for the first time in a while
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I can feel my manga-artist muscles crippling
nico.ms/sm35308083?ref… #sm35308083 #ニコニコ動画 It’s here!!!!!!!!!! Ref his tweet from earlier 'Is Tanktop Shoutai's new video out yet’. So if any youtuber works with a band on a music video then everyone’s going to assume they’re Starmie next I guess A recent cause of discourse was the twitter account A Starmie Who Wants to Quit My Band(@shhf9kr)*. It originally was suspected of being the side-account of KANA-BOOM's bassist, Meshida, due to the timing of the account's appearance and the unsettling content. Meshida had gone missing for about a week’s time, much to relief he’s returned home, but upon return he’s now taking a break from the band to heal from pressure/anxiety… Which is a huge worry in itself (On top of Alexandros’ drummer going on hiatus because of physical issues and then MONGOL800.....) though for now we only have the power ease his soul.. BUT ANYWAY - This Starmie twitter account tweeted “I’m so far gone with band work that I’ve devolved into a Starmie. ~~~~ I feel so disgusting.” on the exact same date as the dilemma. As the situation progressed the details Starmie revealed about financial problems and wage didn’t match up with KANA-BOOM, so they’ve continued to suspected to be SEKAI NO OWARI, now signing salient as someone named Ishihidari from BASEMENT TIMES, the writer of a snazzy sassy J-Rock blog and band of that same name. Shinoda here is a direct reaction to Starmie’s recent tweet under the lines of “I hate having to work with a youtuber.” Yeah SND you're 100% right, it's now on the radars of us curious critters. Why is the J-rock scene such a pain hoho. I bought new shorts but it’s chilly out today so I’m in a sort of pickle
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I tried out lo-fi hiphop style for a change of pace and I ended up making songs I get to feel like I’ve done good work as easy as fast-food, lo-fi hiphop is good Maybe this is fine, we have flowers here (The word in the insta video means "to hide from the rain")
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I don’t wanna add screentones
He used a southern accent on this, unlike his usual slurry casual city boy tone. I notice that southern JP seems to simplify the connotation of tone by omitting certain sounds or replacing them with vowels and then they’ll proceed to make the whole phrase more musical, it’s like ending your sentences with a “~” but it’s a whole accent done that way~ vowels are cute, gimme more~ Or maybe not idk It’s a hardship to even work on my manga because of my back pains, people who’ve actually wrecked their back must go through serious hell Kobayashi Doumu (*ref: later in this post): *sends SND a photo of himself hospitalized with crutches and bandages for his back* I was watching Kura-kyun’s stream but, does that guy actually still live in Aichi…? This seems like a rabbit hole I don’t want to dip my toes so I’ll take a step back but… Shotacon Kurage is a long time streamer who seems to get up to a lot of unfavorable antics. のどちんこって呼び名、いくらなんでもメチャクチャ過ぎないか No matter how you put it, isn’t the nickname “throat schlong” just a little too messed up Kids super often call the uvula part of the mouth by that nickname I don’t like the rain because I can’t go out drinking
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A post shared by シノダ (@snd_vs_snd) on Jun 27, 2019 at 11:14pm PDT
One mustn’t slack off on their self-care The drawing says “Shoulder pains”.
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シノダ「地球物語 35話 – BABYBABYの夢 – 」 | MEETIA After a 2 month break period, the 35th issue has been topped off. It’s full of all the ideas and memes I’ve accumulated over the whole 2 month span, so please if you may, take it easy on me. And please give it a read. Shinoda “Chikyuu Monogatari: Chapter 35 - Dreams of BABYBABY - meetia.net/manga/shinoda-… #meetia 
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Shiohigari, fantastic artist of 1 panel light-heavyhearted gags, girls who share their feelings and a Picasso-esque mascot named after himself. He also happens to share many interests with SND and a decade-long historic friendship with him: That part there, that’s the Robin Mask moment! During the Survivor Match for the Kinniku Throne Arc, the match against Kinnikuman Zebra and Parthenon!  SND: I’ve been exposed Trivia: ●The title "Dreams of BABYBABY” is a reference to the song by TANUKI of the same name. SND’s interest in future funk grows. ●The Chikyuu Monogatari chapter has a parallel to a Kinnikuman scene. When that manga went on hiatus for 3 months due to an illness of the author's, right in the middle of a fight scene's cliffhanger, he returned and doubled-down on it. By making the characters do this:
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And SND’s comic has this parallel:
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“Wake up!” “Please excuse me. How could I not get sleepy after being left here for 2 months….”“Are we allowed to say this stuff, I’m sorry Yudetamago-sensei.” ●Please keep having fun Shinoda-sensei.
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I made 10 lo-fi hiphop songs *They’re magnificent and they’re incoming, check his Instagram for the ongoing bonanza! https://www.instagram.com/snd_vs_snd/  Laundry is so draining  Harassment sentences are going to such extremes that now it’s as if they’re the one’s doing the harassment meow, said the kitten who’s sleeping next to me There’s not actually any kitten sleeping next to me: it’s the imaginary friends in my head
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What an article. Don’t be releasing things like this into the world. Do they have no dignity, mishandling words while trying to write about the subject of words.  Emo, in terms of usage and genre, has especially been through a lot of change. But upholding only the era you lived in and then proceeding to feel nostalgia and begrudging the next generation for being different is amazing in itself, not to mention their absolute subjectivity combined with presumptuous usage of “Us”. 
Or, so had spoke the kitten sleeping next to me... In reference to his retweet of this article: https://letters-to-you.life/emoi It’s a petty, convoluted text rebuking the masses for a simplicity and resisting the implacable evolution of language. The word “emoi” in Japan (which is super equivalent to the English "emo") is transforming from not only the emo band subculture or a descriptive of emotional experiences, but also to mean the likes of an adjective for any emotion-evoker and the author is uhhh conservative. Let us get emotional over things!! wowawa lived through all the evolution also and he’s still an enthusiastic user of all definitions of “emo” too...
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I’ve been cooking nukaduke at home recently and all I have to say is that home-cooked nukaduke is the best. 
Trivia: Yumao lives together with his super duper saikou cool mother, Yurika.
My nukaduke paste is getting better and better, and the pickles I’m making are amazing. I need to consider cutting back on the salt a bit though.
Ah nukaduke is emo
Yumao has nowset his location to nukaduke, hunger ensues
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Kobayashi Doom congrats on a good run & Congrats on the new issue #SupportForLet’sMeal
The picture shown is SND’s face was drawn in the background of Meshi ni Shimashou(Let’s have some food!), a manga by Kobayashi Doom. It’s a story which digs into the lives of a a manga artist and her assistant, who bask in the dying embryos of production and then cook meals with crazy twists or gimmicks to restore their “MP”. There’s an official sneak-peak preview of it here! It’s only available in JP though… If you like the look of it please feel free to yell at your local manga provider to officially translate it, Kobayashi Doom is someone SND is so undeniably influenced by. Especially their series Negi nee-san. A webcomic about a surreal girl drowned in surreal antics. It’s usually rooted in nonsense and that’s the grandest appeal. The visuals consist of copy-pasted collages, intricate professional art dynamics, cute girls, to stoic jokes such as “’seven eleven is an integer so seven & I is a complex number” and mostly references to mathematics or science or Jojo. The most parroted one is “Yes” “Not yes”. Also worthy of mention is that things resembling Negi-neesan’s various nameless beasts will show up as backdrop etc. in SND’s manga Chikyuu Monogatari. And most importantly here, there’s even a comic about Shinoda on that link, with the Let’s Meal characters! It reads: Madare ”Who's that?" Omega "From the band 'Hitorie',His name is Shinoda and he seems to be a zealous fan of mine, (sign reads: zealous whatever food hall) He told me he wants me to experience his recent works so he sent me the mp3"Madare “Ooh Isn’t Hitorie that [insert amazing praise here]“. Omega “Look, he’s even wearing a Negi-T (Negi-nee-san’s surreal brand) in this video” (Reference: In the Talkie Dance MV he wears this one) Woah Click-click Omega “So now, I’ve listened to it 100 times but in sheer honesty I don’t know anything about rock besides the band Ningen Isu so I thought I’d use this comic as an equivalent of an answer to him, a sort of "guess my feelings" quiz. Madare “I see you're popping your conman skill again. (You’ve even beaten me with that skill before )” “I’ve been eavesdropping. Time to cook a meal and get together with him” Omega “I like it." *The chorus lyrics to Hitorie's NAI from ai/SOlate are written on the top left corner, Kobayashi Doumu on the right, and the beastly text written next to the youkai-looking Shinoda in slide one I believe is an feisty ateji encrypting ‘For Shinoda’. SND replied to that comic too! Saying “Even insane miracles can happen huh, Doom-sensei thank you so much!! No this is seriously sick, wtf…." Q.E.D. Kobayashi Doom is strangely important for SND’s character development.
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This isn’t specifically concurrent with my current feelings but The text on the video reads “I like you I like you!l I snuck a glance at myself in the mirror and my back has a hunch far worse than I even imagined SND’s RT:  ONE BY ONE RECORDS, the indies label, is hanging up the hat after 12 years of service…. Ahhhh… Congrats and good luck on future ventures oh employees..  Key to this article is the band, JONNY. A Weezer cover/original group of which, a certain familiar chestnut-headed rock hero played for. I’ll save the stories of the explorations into that beloved dark past dungeon for another day but, yes, click that link and you’ll see, that glasses fella is a young Shinoda in the flesh.  I woke up in the middle of the night. Have a listen to this if you plan to go to bed anytime soon. instagram.com/p/BzV23p6HpRl/… Written on the drawing is “Poyashimi”, which simply means “Oyasumi (Good night)". It was originally just a misspell due to “O” and “P” being so close on standard keyboards but, it’s cute so it’s been adopted in it’s own rights. Can been paired with “Pokita (= Okita = I just woke up)” in the morning. Cute. I wanna go to the beach instagram.com/p/BzawsWGHaGg/…
I wrote MUNEYAKE but I myself don’t have any muneyake heartburn, that’s all there is to it I couldn’t make the bubble tea visible without making the emblem on the hat invisible, and just fought a weird-ass battle with this https://www.instagram.com/p/Bzh7fqRnkBQ/?igshid=1hmx49pswt6ns … “Yasumi" means like “take a breather"
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I recorded drums for Sasaki Sayaka’s song, the ending theme for 'Ultraman Taiga’. I used a big and powerful setup for this. The broadcasts start on 7/6. I can’t wait. Also Taro's son is crazy. Ultraman Taro's son is the main character of this new spinoff tokusatsu series! The ending song is called “Hitotsubishi” and will premiere along the first episode, I’ll update this if an official video arrives later, so we can listen to it! I watched the first episode of Taiga, I’m think I’m gonna cry.
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This morning a drunken me slipped while walking down the stairs, and turned into the Kinnikuman side of the Kinniku-Buster. My butt hurts. Smack down on the floor, legs aflight.
colormal’s concert was downright fantastic, everybody listen to colormal https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gJ83BZ_BIHA&feature=youtu.be
colormal, a galvanized nerd who turned his hobby into a hopping constitution for his livelihood, his quest for the alternative rock. He makes music alone and he’s namely even inspired by Shinoda’s past solo project “cakebox”. He’s bound to mention a cakebox song in his interviews, on top of a whopping list of other western or indie bands. His music itself has flows of climaxes into unfluctuating concord and it’s either guitar or guitar with pretty effects and I enjoy it SND. His filling bassist, Matsuyama, was even thrilled! https://twitter.com/mtymJb/status/1147537998898069504
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My body isn’t able to finish even the small size ramen with full toppings. “Mashi” is a trademark menu option of the chain Ramen Jiro. It’s under the lines of “Pile it up”. You can choose to pile up a bit of everything like Shinoda seems to, or you can choose from specific topping such as veggies or meats. If you ever go into such a ramen shop, try shouting “yasai mashi mashi!” or “buta mashi mashi!” for a heap of piggie. 
Tokyo Shoegazer are definite They’re an indies band who had a concert in Shinjuku that day! One of their most recent tweets draws my attention 👀 The wheat and grated yam beef meal at Yoshinoya is delectable but, the sign says the large rice portion and refills are given for free until 11 PM, but when I go there’s a fee on the large portion, how am I supposed to interpret this Reply: I work at Yoshinoya but the free portions and refills is a recent offer, the menus just haven’t been reprinted to represent it… The meal packages generally all have free refills and large rice portions. Shinoda: Thank you. Ref: their ENG menu. Feel free to use this information if you ever get the chance to go to a Yoshidora!!(?) SWEET https://www.instagram.com/p/Bznm6DTH-Gs/ I want to see Siamese Cats live They’re a definite J-rock band who have tinges of psychedelic and a sort of 80’s pop style to their music. They had an outdoor show the day before SND tweeted this, but they also have a 10th Year Anniversary Celebration concert this December. SND GO! Siamese Cats - Escape Eve (Official Video) 2018  シャムキャッツ - 逃亡前夜 https://youtu.be/5Jtd5nmI0Fc
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salad days was on Amazon Prime so I gave it a gander but it was really fucking good. The walking alone Straight Edge scene or at the beginning when everyone was partying together until strange people starting flooding in one by one and the safety of the concert went downhill Or how the terminology “emocore” doesn’t resonate at all with people who were directly associated with it at the outset.
The fact that controversy which we’re still having today has existed since the 80’s is an astonishment
 Also once the Smells Like~ MV wrought the knowledge of crowd-surfing (stage-diving) upon the world, and then the crowd became a flood of stage-divers so much that Fugazi lost his temper, that scene was so good
The joint show with Trouble Funk, when they were reflecting on what became the final Minor Threat show, everyone was vocalizing the horrors, the turmoil of it, yet I laughed when only Ian said it wasn’t that bad
Not disregarding how these types of issues really did exist those days, ultimately the concerts and their music really are awesome, the energy and thrill everyone held was amazing
Formidable figures such as Thurston Moore and Dave Grohl are shown looking back on the past, and then pops in J Mascis with such batshit indifference that I laughed again 
Why does Ian MacKaye not have a Japanese wiki page If it draws your attention here’s the link!:https://www.amazon.com/Salad-Days-Fred-Armisen/dp/B01MAV0YAH I’m not specifically feeling emo https://www.instagram.com/p/BzqVd4wnaOX/?igshid=nhnyzm9vipdi …“emoi”
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biopsychs · 6 years
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I love microbiology but it is a difficult class and is made even more difficult when you have a bad prof. I started this post after I took an introduction to microbiology class but waited to finish it until I completed an upper year microbiology class this past semester. This way I can also provide insight and tips on what will help you not only in the class but also how to make sure you are prepared for upper year classes.
Topics you may cover in your intro microbio class:
History of microbiology
Microbial taxonomy (naming and classification)
Microscopy and specimen preparation
Prokaryotic cell structure and function
Microbial nutrition and growth
Control of microorganisms by chemical and physical agents
Microbial metabolism (including energy, enzymes, regulation, chemosynthesis, photosynthesis, and biosynthesis)
Microbial genetics (including replication, mutation,  gene expression, gene regulation, recombination, plasmids, etc.)
Virology
Immunology
And areas of/related to microbiology you may explore in upper classes may include: environmental microbiology, food and industrial microbiology, immunology, medical microbiology, molecular genetics, prokaryotic physiology, virology, and more!
Tip #1: Understand new material at the end of every week
Microbiology is a content heavy course. Even if you’re busy with other classes and responsibilities, do a thorough review of new content you’ve learned over the past week. Give yourself time to get help/go to office hours in case you don’t understand a concept (you can’t do this if you leave studying till the last minute).
Tip #2: Know the names of important microorganisms
This all depends on your prof. I had an insane prof who wanted us to know the names of every single microbe he mentioned in passing, but this shouldn’t be the case for everyone. The prof for my upper level microbiology class provided bonus marks if we could state the specific genus of a microorganism in any of our examples on the final exam. If you can, talk to students who have taken the class before for more insight.
Regardless, make sure you know the species, genus, etc. of microbes that your prof spent a significant amount of time talking about or ones that come up more than once.
Tip #3: Pay attention when you’re learning about metabolism
I say this for two reasons: (1) Metabolism is a difficult topic to understand and (2) It will benefit you to have a good understanding of metabolism now. Metabolism covers a wide range of ideas and concepts -- having a good understanding will help you in upper level bio/biochem classes and will help you link ideas together.
Tip #4: Study the material in different ways
Revise your notes in a variety of ways. I prefer to type my notes and write them out after class. Typing allows me to get all the info down, I can insert diagrams from lecture slides as I go, and leaves me with a detailed study guide to use when I’m studying for finals (I also add material from the textbook not covered in lectures to my typed notes after class). Writing out my notes afterwards reinforces the material, allows me to shorten my notes to the important stuff (e.g. I only draw necessary diagrams), and allows me to reorganize the material (e.g. make acronyms, put the info into a table, compare and contrast 2 concepts like cellular respiration and photosynthesis).
You can also use other methods to study such as flashcards, mind maps, read the material out loud, etc. Only use a method if it actually works for you -- for example, lots of people use flashcards to study but I rarely use them.
Another really good way to study is to make a practice test or at least think about how your prof will test certain concepts. This is a really helpful strategy for preparing for multiple choice and written questions.
Tip #5: Study with friends
This also ties into the idea of thoroughly learning new material at the end of every week. Plan a weekly study session or talk to your friends and hold each other accountable for staying on top of things.
I usually just met with one or two of my friends before each midterm. We would find a room with a whiteboard and spend an entire afternoon going over our notes together. I had other friends who would meet at least once a week and review the past week’s material together.
Tip #6: Draw it out
I personally love using whiteboards to study and would definitely recommend buying your own. If you don’t have one though, find an empty classroom with a whiteboard or just draw it out on a blank page. Don’t draw out every diagram you have available to you -- find the most useful ones! I like to draw out a process and then write down the description of the process side by side.
I also like to combine diagrams that I find useful. Drawing diagrams also works if you’re trying to compare and contrast processes. Having all the info laid out in one place can help you see what is truly similar or different, rather than trying to memorize the processes as separate things.
For example, I had a few different diagrams for photosynthesis in my notes. Instead of studying them separately I combined them together so I had all the info in one place.
Tip #7: Utilize all the resources available to you
Ask questions! Go to office hours! Most profs are happy to help meeting with them one-on-one really ensures you are getting a good understanding.
You can also ask your lab TA for clarification on concepts, because often the content you cover in labs is tied to content covered in lectures. My TA heard us all complaining about how our prof did not properly explain a difficult concept. So, she did a quick search and found the name of a youtube channel she remembered learning from in her undergrad.
As well, if the textbook for your class proves to be useful then actually use it! I like to read over the textbook chapter before class because then I can focus on understanding the fine details during lecture. (I’ve also compiled some online useful books and online resources at the bottom of this post for you to check out.)
Advice specifically for labs:
Use aseptic technique! Wash your hands, work close to the flame, etc. If you’re not sure about something, wait and ask your TA. And try not to spill anything. Someone in my lab spilled a tube of E.coli broth on their lab notebook which then had to be autoclaved, which meant they had to buy a new notebook.
DON’T FORGET TO FLAME THE LOOP!!
Even though you’ll be working in partners make sure you can do everything on your own. It might be easier to have your partner hold a piece of equipment while you do something else but it won’t help you when you’re doing the same work alone during a lab exam or as a research assistant.
Make sure you can do a Gram stain properly. If you can’t do a proper Gram stain consistently you can ask your TA if you can practice on a few slides or have them watch you do a Gram stain to correct any mistakes you’re making.
Be specific when answering questions. Your TA wants to make sure you know exactly what you’re doing. Also, write down the full name (species + genus) of the microorganism you’re working with the first time you mention it and then feel free to use the abbreviated form after (i.e. write down Escherichia coli first but refer to it as E.coli thereafter)
Listen and be safe. Your TA will probably stress safety a lot but make sure you pay attention if they tell you need to take certain precautions with certain microorganisms (especially where to dispose certain samples).
Have fun! My favourite memory of the lab was when we were looking at samples we had prepared from soil the week prior. Everyone was comparing the fungi that had grown in their petri dishes and trying to see who had the most “fuzzy” sample.
Plan your time well. Read through your prelab carefully and make note of tasks that may take up more time (waiting for molten agar to cool, waiting for a sample to dry so you can heat fix the slide, etc.).
Label everything! You really don’t want to forget which test tube contains which organism or which tube is which when performing a serial dilution
Tie in things you do in the lab to things you’ve learned in lectures. You’ll make lecture material more interesting and you might learn different applications of what you’re doing in the lab.
At the end of the lab: Dispose of your materials in the proper waste bins! Wipe down your lab bench! Wash your hands!
Microbiology resources:
Some books related to microbiology/cell biology (note: these books aren’t meant as study materials but discuss some really interesting topics related to microbiology): The Gene by Siddhartha Mukherjee, I Contain Multitudes: The Microbes Within Us and a Grander View of Life by Ed Young, Microbe Hunters by Paul de Kruif, Missing Microbes: How the Overuse of Antibiotics is Fueling Our Modern Plague by Martin Blaser, and Spillover: Animal Infections and the Next Human Pandemic by David Quammen.
For my class I used Prescott’s Microbiology ( Willey, Joanne M., Sherwood, Linda M., Woolverton, Christopher J.; 8/e) and A Photographic Atlas for the Microbiology Laboratory (Leboffe, M.J. and Pierce, B.E.)
For online resources I will always recommend Khan Academy. I found they didn’t have everything I needed for this class specifically but the topics they did cover were explained well.
Wikipedia! I’ve had multiple profs this year tell me to use Wikipedia. Please don’t go citing Wikipedia in any of your lab reports (but you can look at their references at the bottom of page to find more info). Wikipedia is good for finding up to date information, especially for information related to microbial taxonomy.
Some Youtube channels that have helpful videos include: Armando Hasudungan, Bozeman Science, Crash Course (also I’m pretty sure there’s a song about the Krebs Cycle out there)
Check out my other posts here!
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anagentinwriting · 5 years
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To Catch a Thief - Part 6
Summary: Being an FBI field agent was your dream job but having been stuck behind a desk for most of your career you’ve almost given up. Fortunately, a series of robberies with minimal evidence forces you to assist a team in the field to help solve the case. But when the only thing left behind is a series of song lyrics, will you be able to find the perp? Or will the number of obstacles and lack of evidence keep you from solving the case?
Pairing: Peter Quill x Reader
Word Count: 4302
Warnings: Swearing
To Catch a Thief Masterlist / Main Masterlist
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After seeing Peter in the red jacket, you went straight to the office to check his name in the database. Sure enough, Peter Jason Quill had a record including petty theft, fraud, and public intoxication. He even spent a few months in jail.
You ran another search to check for any notes left behind by Star-Lord. To your surprise, a few pages showed up and you clicked on the first case. It involved a convenience store robbery about 17 years ago, but the theft left behind a written note wedged between two boxes of candy bars. You opened the image attached to the file and inside was an IOU:
Bread
½ gal milk
peanut butter
candy bar
IOU $3.85
  -Sorry Star-Lord
Going back, you clicked on a few more realizing all the notes were from small retail stores 13 to 17 years ago. The IOU’s listed the stolen items with a signed apology from Star-Lord. All the stores dropped charges when they received money from Star-Lord along with a written thank you for keeping him fed. Forensics ran tests on the envelopes and notes, but no DNA was found.
Why would Star-Lord be stealing food and leaving behind IOU's? Isn’t the whole point of stealing not to get caught? If Peter was this Star-Lord it might’ve been the same time his mom got diagnosed with cancer. Did her treatments force her to stop working, leaving Peter/Star-Lord to fend for himself?
You scanned over the last page showing his most recent crimes. The last crime documented occurred a few years ago involving Halfworld Research and Sweet Dreams Cosmetics; this was the case Luis mentioned. Star-Lord exposed and shut down these companies for their involvement in illegal animal testing and animal cruelty.
Somehow, he got a hold of documents and recordings showing the mistreatment and the insane experiments happening to these animals.  It was graphic to look at the screenshots from the footage. One image had a raccoon with his back shaved and some sort of mechanism attached to his back. How could someone do this to a living thing? These companies also deceived their donors by putting on the front about how they were against animal testing. Luis was right, this was a complicated case, but the only connection this case had to Star-Lord was the note he sent both companies:
You know what you did A-holes.
    -Sorry Not Sorry, Star-Lord (SL)
“Whatcha doing?” Gamora asked, making you jump in your chair. She rested her chin on your shoulder staring at the computer screen. “Did you figure out what SL stands for?”
“Yes, I think I did,” you replied, staring at the signed note.
Oh, Mama I can hear you a-crying', you're so scared and all alone
Hangman is comin' down from the gallows and I don't have very long.
- Sorry SL
“Isn’t this renegade by Styx?” Kraglin asked you.
“It is. Gold star, Kraglin. Gold star.” You flashed him a warm smile giving him a high-five.
“Does this mean SL has mommy issues?”
“Or his mom could be in trouble?” You chewed on your bottom lip glancing over the written note. “SL steals for a reason, so if his mom is in trouble, he might be committing these robberies to keep her safe.”
“Hmm...” Kraglin nodded, squinting his eyes as he tried to put something together. “This doesn’t explain why he’s committing these crimes? What’s his motive? Why would his mother need protection?”
“My theory is someone put a price on his head. He’s not only running from the police but someone else like the hangman in the song. SL has to do what they say or they’ll kill him or his mother. He doesn’t want that to happen so he follows orders. His mother may be the only family he has left and he doesn’t want to lose her,” you said, pressing your lips into a tight line.
“Makes sense,” Kraglin agreed, following along as you continued.
“When he sings to his mother in the song it’s in a softer tone compared to the rest of the song. It’s almost like he’s apologizing to her. It’s like he knows his end is coming, but he isn’t afraid of his impending doom anymore.”
“He wants us to feel sorry for him, but not feel sorry for him?”
“I think it’s more like feel sorry for his mother like she’s innocent in all this.”
“He’s a criminal, YN. His mother raised a criminal. I don’t see how she would be innocent.”
“I just have this gut feeling she’s innocent,” you added as the door to the conference room flies open and in walks a bright-eyed Gamora.
“The lyrics aren’t the only thing we have this time.  We got a picture of a plate fleeing the scene. This could be our guy,” Gamora announced, kicking the door shut behind her.
Gamora pulls out the photo from her file.  The license plate reads PZM-569.  This was Peter’s car. This further proves the red jacket he was wearing links him to footage from the cameras, and his nickname Star-Lord connects him to SL signed at the bottom of the written notes.
Peter’s stealing the Infinity Stones necklaces, but why? Are him and his mom in that much trouble they have to commit these robberies? Were they in debt from Meredith’s medical bills? Was it about the money or was it something more? You were suspicious of Peter but you would’ve never pegged him for a thief.
“The car is a blue Ford Mustang II King Cobra with orange stripes.  It's registered to one Peter Jason Quill. The son of J’son and Meredith Quill.”
“That’s interesting because J’son Quill was the infamous Ego,” Kraglin informed, nodding his head at the random fact he blurted out.
“Wait, what? Is that true?”  Gamora inquired, raising a brow.
“Yeah, how could you possibly know that?” You stared at him stunned. If this was true, why weren’t you able to make this connection sooner? You lived right next door to Ego’s son.
“It was in my file I wrote up the other day. Did you two not read it?”
“Kraglin, you sourced it all from Wikipedia.”
“Your point is…” He gave a half shrug, holding his hands out in front of him like he didn’t know what he did wrong.
“Sometimes that site isn’t totally reliable.”
“But it’s true. I checked the database and public records to make sure.  J’son Quill and Meredith Quill are the parents of Peter Jason Quill.  Ego and J’son Quill are the same person. It was never disclosed to the public, but every crime with Ego’s River Lily trademark traced him back to J’son Quill after he was murdered. His fingerprints closed 53 unsolved cases.”
“Seriously,” you exclaimed. Holy crap! Ego was Peter’s dad. Peter was Ego’s son. This makes perfect sense why he was so close to his mother, and why he hated talking about his dad. Ego was with The Collectors crew, did that mean Peter was a part of it now?
“Nice work, Kraglin,” Gamora praised him with a pat on the back.  “That’s even better news because YN may have linked Peter Quill to SL!”
Gamora requested Peter Quill and his employer, Drax, to be brought in for questioning. Before they arrived, you briefed Gamora and Kraglin in on how you knew Peter. Starting with him being your neighbor before he turned into a close friend.
You stood on the other side of the mirror watching Peter twiddle his thumbs. He seemed calm showing no signs of distress at all. Does he know what he’s about to be accused of? You still couldn’t believe it, but the evidence pointed to him. He was behind this, but you wanted to believe he wasn’t. Fuck, why didn’t you put it together sooner? He matched the description, his nickname was similar, had the same taste in music, and he owns the red jacket.  Why didn’t you see it? You lost your trance when Gamora walked in.
“Are you doing okay? I mean, finding out one of your friends is involved in this must be hard to process,” Gamora speculated, squeezing your shoulder.
“Sure, I’m pissed off, but there isn’t anything I can do.” You shrugged. “He made his bed and now he has to lie in it.”
“Did he seem like the type of guy that would do something like this?"
“Honestly…..no. He’s a good, caring guy, and has grown to be one of my best friends. I mean, once you get past his ego and dirty gentleman like personality.”
“Is this the nameless boyfriend? The one you won’t tell us about because if you ask me it sounds like you have feelings for Quill.”
“WHAT? NO,” you scoffed, turning to her in shock. Yes, you may have developed some romantic feelings towards him, but you weren’t going to admit it to anyone now.
“Look, it’s okay, I’m not going to judge you for it.  You didn’t know what was happening, and clearly, he knew what he was doing. Besides, you said he’s a good guy and from what you’re building about SL’s profile, he’s been through hell and back. Do you think he will talk to us?”
“He loves to talk,” you breathed, earning a soft chuckle out of Gamora.
“You’re going to question Drax, then you can watch me interrogate your friend.  It’s good for him to squirm for a little while longer,” she smirked.
You entered the interrogation room to find a big muscular man sitting there staring at the two way mirror almost like he knew someone was on the other side. He had tattoos covering both his arms and looked pretty intimidating, but you’ve dealt with worse before.
“Good morning, Drax. I’m Agent LN. May I call you Drax?” you asked, sitting down across from him.
“Yes, I don’t know what else you would call me.”
“Right,” you cleared your throat, “do you know why you’re here?”
“Shouldn’t you know, you’re the ones who brought me here?” He asked, folding his arms across his chest.
“I do. It’s just routine questioning to see if you had a clue to why.” He glared at you not saying a word, so you continued. “How do you know Peter Quill?”
“Quill. He works for me. He’s a friend, but I like to call him family….sometimes.”
“You must know him pretty well then. Can you tell me anything else about him?” You knew a lot about Peter, but you wanted to see what others thought of him. Did they see him as a good guy like you did? Or did he come off different to other people?
“Quill mixes a mean drink, which keeps the customers happy. He’s a quick problem solver, which is nice to have on the job.  He’s a smart imbecile,” Drax stated with confidence. “Quill’s protective of his friends and those he considers family. He has been speaking highly about his female neighbor and believes he has a chance with her.” Drax let out a booming laughed as he shook his head. “But he has no chance with her.”
“Is that so?” You smirked, glancing back at the window with wide eyes. You shouldn’t continue this interview alone especially if he knew who you were. This could compromise everything.
“Can they see me through the mirror?” Drax pointed to the glass behind you, and you nodded. “What if I sit really still can they still see me?”
“Yessss,” you dragged out, narrowing your eyes at him. Drax comes off all brooding and serious, but underneath he seemed childish and lighthearted.
“Dammit,” He grumbled, folding his hands together on the table in front of him.
“Can you tell me anything about his female neighbor?”
“No. I stop listening and think about something else when he speaks of her. He needs to be with a woman that is pathetic like him. This woman is not.”
“At least Quill has you to keeping an eye on him.”
“He is hard to spot in a crowd sometimes, and I don’t follow him home. But, when he is at work my eyes are on him,” he nodded, forcing a smirk to your lips. Quill had some interesting friends, but behind Drax’s hard demeanor he was a big softy.
“Has Peter gone anywhere recently for work? Like to a conference?”
“Yes. He went to a mixology conference in Miami. I stayed home to care for my wife and daughter.”
“Of course. Do you remember what the conference was called?”
“Tales from the Galaxy,” he answered, waving his hands in front of him like a rainbow. You write down the name so you can look into it later.
“Thank you. I have a few more questions before you can leave.” Gamora told you to treat Drax like a suspect, but your gut was telling you he was innocent. Nothing he said made him come off guilty. He was an everyday working class man providing for his family. Simple, but your gut wasn’t enough to prove his innocence, you needed his alibi or his confession. “Drax, where were you last night?”
“Working, but then I went home to read my daughter a bedtime story before I went back to work till closing.”
“Do you have anyone who could verify this?”
“Yes. My employees. My wife. My daughter. Why do you need to know this information?”
“We have suspicions you may have involvement in a heist that happened last night, but since you have witnesses it’s likely your name will be cleared.” He gave you a stern nod. “Have you ever heard of the Infinity Stone necklaces?”
“Yes, Quill told me about them,” he blurted out without missing a beat.
“Really?” Your mouth dropped open at his confession.
“I mean no, I don’t know what those necklaces are, what a mystery this is?”
“But you just said you knew what they were,” you questioned as your face scrunched up.
“No need to get personal,” he huffed out, folding his arms back across his chest.
“I’m sorry.” You flipped through your notepad before closing it. He wasn’t going to tell you anything else, so might as well end it here. “I have everything I need right now but thank you for your time. You’re good to go.”
“This way,” Drax pointed to the only door in the room and you nodded with a kind smile.  He pushed the chair back as it skidded loudly across the floor and left the room. And he’s the dude who runs the most successful bar in the city. Interesting.
You returned to the other interrogation room and watched Gamora take a seat across from Peter. She introduced herself before setting up the camera beside her. Peter seemed confident and at ease showing no sign of any discomfort.
“State your name for the camera please,” She instructed, pointing to the camera lens.
“Peter Jason Quill. I enjoy listening to music, hot women, and watching Footloose, the greatest movie in history,” he grinned, shooting a wink at the camera. You rolled your eyes at him from behind the glass.
“That’s not necessary but we do need you to clear up a few things for us. Starting with what you were doing last night?”
“Last night, let’s see.” He scrunched his eyebrows together trying to think it over. “I was having dinner with a friend but ended up leaving early when my mom called with an emergency.  She needed a refill on her meds, so I had to go to the pharmacy for her,” Peter stated with a slight shrug.
“Did you get a receipt?”
“You bet, one second.” He held up his finger pulling out his wallet and handing it to her. She glanced it over before slipping it into the file on the table. It must’ve been timestamped for last night because she didn’t say anything else about it.
“Answer me this, if you had to go to the pharmacy for your mother. Then, why was your car spotted fleeing a scene of a crime last night?”
“Beats me, I needed to get the meds to my mom. She needs to take them at a certain time otherwise it could mess with her other meds and make her feel worse. She has cancer.”
“I’m sorry to hear that.” He nodded as she pulls out four pictures of the Infinity Stone necklaces from the file and slides them over to him. “Quill, do you know what these are?”
He sat up in his chair, leaning over to look at the photos one by one. “Hmmm.….the president's rubies?”
“No, these are four of the six rarest necklaces in the world from the Infinity Stone Collection. Each is worth more than $300 million dollars but as a set of six the price skyrockets.”
‎Peter whistled, “Wow, that’s a huffy price tag. I can't afford them if you're selling them.”
“I’m not selling them. Someone stole them,” Gamora growled through clenched teeth, pointing at the photos. “All four of these.”
“Oh, and you think I had something to do with this?” Peter asked, raising his eyebrows in surprise.
“I do.”
From the tension in Gamora’s back, she was getting annoyed with Peter. His answers were vague and it wasn’t getting her anywhere. Peter did this to you sometimes and it frustrated you, too.  He would only share the tip of the iceberg of information, but never what was hiding beneath the surface. You always read the situation before going any further with him. If he seemed content and calm you would continue to pester him until he broke.  If the situation felt uncomfortable you would stop and change the subject.  Right now, at this moment, he seemed almost too prepared to talk.
“Hate to break it to you, agent, but this wasn't me.” He twirled his fingers around the photos before pushing them in Gamora’s direction.
“Is that so?” She asked with pursed lips.
“Yes, what would I do with these necklaces? Wear them? They would look pretty ridiculous on me,” Peter chuckled, shaking his head.
Gamora starts to question him about his whereabouts when the other robberies happened. She started with the Las Vegas robbery, followed by the Norway heist, and ended with the break-in at Strange’s residence.
“What a weird coincidence? I was in Vegas at the time, but it was for a bachelor party. Check with my buddies, they’ll tell you I was with them the whole time.
“Ah...that week, I went to Florida for the Tales from the Galaxy mixology conference. You can ask my boss or look on their website or ask the other attendees they will prove my attendance.
“I had a lady friend over and we were participating in extracurricular activities, if you know what I mean,” he winked, flashing his signature smirk.“If you don’t believe me, ask my neighbor. She was banging on my door telling us to shut up because she could hear us through her walls.”
“I find it a little weird you remember the exact date you got laid. It’s almost like you were looking for an alibi,” Gamora scoffed, crossing her arms as she leaned back into her chair.
“I only remember because it’s the last time I brought a girl back to my place. Lately, I have been busy hanging out with my neighbor. She’s a lot of fun.” A grin graced his lips as he glanced at you through the two-way mirror before returning his eyes back on Gamora. Did he know you were behind the glass or was he just assuming you were?
“Who is this neighbor of yours? I may need to contact her to verify your alibi. Or if I could get the unlucky woman’s name who spent the evening with you.”
“I don’t remember the woman’s name per say--” Peter scratched his head with a tight smile“--but my neighbor is YN LN.  She works in the FBI, too, you might know her.”
“There’s a bunch of us. I don’t know every agent in the city,” she replied, writing down your name for show.
“Shame, she’s a pretty awesome woman,” he smirked at the tabletop, forcing a tingling feeling in the pit of your stomach.
“Seems like you might have a thing for this--” Gamora peeked at her notepad “--YN? Is she the reason you haven’t brought any woman home recently?” Gamora eyed him as he ran a hand through his hair, showing his first sign of distress.
“Too personal, Gamora. Get back to the real issues,” you said to yourself in the empty viewing room. You harbored a  small crush for him, but you’ll get over it at some point. You enjoyed his friendship too much and wouldn’t want to ruin it with your unspoken feelings given the current circumstances.
“That seems like a personal question don’t you think? Is it even relevant?” Peter questioned, sitting up in his chair and scratching the top of his head.
“I have to protect my fellow agents from a possible criminal,” she smirked, cocking her head to the side.
“Good thing I am no criminal.”
“Your record says otherwise.” She opened another file in front of her and slid it over to him.
He flipped through the file, rubbing the scruff on his chin. “Most of this was when I was in my rebellious years. I grew out of it. Got a mentor and went straight.” He shut the file and pushed it back to her.
“Hmm, okay.” Gamora remained silence for a couple minutes watching him crack under the pressure. “Your father was the infamous Ego, correct?”
“Yeah, so what? It’s not like he cared about me, I barely even liked the guy.”
“But, he did teach you a few things, am I right?”
His eyes shot to her before reverting back his hands resting on top of the table. He hunched his shoulders before nodding his head.  “Yes, a few, but like I said I don’t do that anymore.”
“Do the letters SL mean anything to you?”
“SL? No, why would they?”
“What about Star-Leader, Space-Legend, Sun-Lens, or Star-Lord?”
Peter’s eyes flickered to the window for a brief second after hearing the last name. The look on his face told you everything; he felt betrayed. You could see it in his eyes, even though it only lasted for a second. Did he figure it out? Did he know you were on the case?
“What? No! This is ridiculous,” he chuckled with his confidence slowly deteriorating. “What type of interrogation is this?”
“A pretty normal one compared to others I’ve been in.” Peter leaned in his chair crossing his arms in a defensive manner. “You see SL, whoever he is, calls himself a legendary outlaw. Every robbery he commits he leaves behind a note, and we suspect he used to go by the name Star-Lord. We came across this name when we discovered written IOU’s to convenience stores he stole from as well as a couple companies he exposed a few years ago.  On one of the notes, both names were written, so it was an easy connection to make. The only thing we don't have are photos of the assailant."
“Wow...this guy must be pret-tay good,” Peter replied, dragging out his words.
“Some would say so, I think he gets lucky, but his luck will run out.  And when it does, we will be there to catch him.  But, we can protect him if he decides to come clean, and  tell us what is going on and who else is behind this?”
“I will be sure to let him know if I ever run into the guy.”
“I want to cover all our bases, so would you be open to doing a polygraph test or are we going to need a warrant?” Gamora waited for him to answer and once Peter looked up all the worry in his eyes was gone.
“Not at all. I have nothing to hide,” he smirked, putting his hands behind his head and his feet on top of the table.
Gamora asked you to look into each of his alibis while Mantis gave Peter the polygraph test. You started with the first necklace and discovered he was in Vegas but he never left the group according to his friends. You knew he couldn’t have stolen the second necklace, because well you were there and heard everything.  When SL stole the Space Stone, he was in Florida at the conference. There was photo evidence of him every day on their website and his passport never left Florida until the day he came back to New York. Then you got to the latest theft, and like the others, Peter told the truth. He went to the pharmacy, which happened to be close to the museum, and the security camera was timestamped at the same time the necklace was stolen.  All his alibis were rock solid.
Results from the polygraph test came in and he passed. He was telling the truth. Mantis was one of the best forensic polygraphers in the country, and she would’ve known if he was lying if not mentally then by sheer body language.
You didn’t understand. Peter fit SL’s description perfectly.  He’s athletic, strong, and fit the age bracket. He can pick a lock like it’s his job, and bullshit his way out of anything in a moments notice. Peter’s music tastes were similar to SL’s, and he was even singing some of the songs left behind at the heists.  He even owns the same red jacket from the camera footage. Peter had to be the guy, even the nickname Meredith gave him connected him to SL.  His alibis were rocked solid, but what if they were staged to appear that way?
A/N: Thanks for reading :)
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