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#but the sores on my tongue showed back up and they hurt more than canker sores so I've got another apt. to check them out
neverendingford
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3 months
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#tag talk
#seriously debating whether I get back on social apps to try and find a good solid guy to kiss me with cigarette breath.
#like. damn okay sure I'm in a high energy mood. do I really just wait it out painfully or do I allow myself some fun?
#if I weren't still concerned about chlamydia I would be satisfied messing around with my gf but
#but the sores on my tongue showed back up and they hurt more than canker sores so I've got another apt. to check them out
#because of the doxy didn't do the trick I'm gonna be annoyed.
#honestly not surprised I got it from October guy. they gave off “unconcerned about health and wellbeing” vibes
#so I guess I should just be happy I didn't get anything worse what with the way I didn't know enough to really vet people.
#oh well. live and learn. live because I didn't get a horrible deadly disease.
#if I were genuinely sexually active I would seriously consider prep but as it is I think I'm not in a position to need that.
#I'm off grindr for the near future at least.
#anyway I watched The Dark Crystal with my friend tonight. it's really fucking good hot damn it's really great.
#I think I'm comfortable with friend instead of girlfriend. I think I've done my high amplitude to low amplitude to stabilized resonance
#high intensity and low intensity stabilize out to a sustainable resonance. I love her in the way that I love the other four close people
#got like. five people now? maybe? that I feel genuine friendship and kinship with.
#idk. bonding with people is really hard.
#I really wish I had bottom surgery or was afab I wish I could fuck the way I want to instead of being stuck as some miserable sexless eunuch
#I can't even read good yaoi cause the uke is still all wrong ugh I want to be right I want to be whole I want to be fixed I want to be okay
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