#but the fact that they do very much make a stupid fucking decision that gets them killed
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think about price who constantly refers to his lover as 'the wife' with lovesick eyes to 141
now imagine 141 loosing their SHIT on the inside when they first meet 'the wife' and she isn't some petite pretty little housewife like they imagined but instead a large ass man built like a fucking TANK and easily towers over Simon who is the tallest of the group. price still refers to him as 'the wife' with the dorkiest grin ever and 141 doesnt let him live it down, threatening him with telling 'the wife' whenever he doesnt let them do something stupid
(feral anon)
(i want to be 'the wife' so bad but sadly i am a short transmasc that doesn't look like a man at all)
(your posts cure my gender disphoria)
A/N: I loved this idea and I’ve been wanting to write a fluff piece for my old man so here u go, something very light hearted ! Excuse any mistakes I wrote it within an hour or so!
It’s no secret that Price likes to keep his private life and work life separated, not many people know he’s married and he likes to keep it that way.
However he has no qualms about 141 finding out about the person he loves so much, matter of fact Laswell was the first to know, all unplanned of course.
It all happened when the two of them snuck away from the rowdy group of men to smoke. Sitting inside would’ve been a better option. It was warm inside, they had decent lighting and were within hand’s distant to their drinks but that would also mean they were at risk of losing their hearing or getting elbowed in the stomach or face by the drunken men, so outside it is.
Price offers her his cigar, which she takes gracefully muttering something along the lines of “my wife doesn’t like it when I smoke” while taking a drag from the tobacco leaf.
“Neither does mine” he says with crows feet appearing around his eyes and lips curling up into a smile.
“You’re married?” Laswell says, only with a hint of surprise on her face as she hands the cigar back to him.
“Happily” he says smile still present as ever on his face before he takes a drag from the cigar as well “been that way for four years now”
She just nods in response before she takes the cigar back, and that’s pretty much how Laswell finds out about Price’s spouse.
The next person to find out about it is Gaz.
141 had been out on a mission that day, and Gaz had taken the impulsive decision to head straight into the fire in hopes of getting important intel. He’s managed to get it but not without getting scolded for his reckless behavior by Price. Hours later and the guilt is still eating at him so he decides to make his way over to Price’s office in an attempt to make amends with the older man.
Gaz takes a deep breath before he knocks on Price’s office door.
“Come on in” he hears the older man’s voice.
Gaz walks in only to be met with the sight of Price seated in his office chair, paper work scattered about on his desk and a cigar resting between his index and middle finger.
“Sir” Gaz says, awkwardly shuffling in place. “I’d like to apologize for earlier today”
“Already forgotten”
The surprise must’ve been clear on his face because the older man can’t help but chuckle.
“Sit down” Price says pointing at the chair opposite to him before taking another drag from the tobacco leaf.
Gaz swiftly takes a seat, hands resting on his knees, nervously chewing on his bottom lip.
There’s a moment of silence as Price rearranges the paper in a neat pile on his desk, pen carefully placed next to it before he speaks again.
“You got someone special waiting for you back home?”
Once again Gaz is surprised but this time the older man just looks at him and smiles.
“I do, sir”
“So do I” Price says smile getting bigger as he folds his arms across his chest and leans back in his chair. “Oh don’t look at me like that I’m not that old am I?”
“No - no sir” Gaz says, hands awkwardly flailing about and feeling his ears burn as he blurts out the words.
Price’s smile grows even bigger before he begins to explain “point is I’m sure that special someone wants you back home alive, if anything were to happen to me I’m sure the wife would find a way to haunt me in the after life”
Price’s gaze falls to his hands, fingers fidgeting with his wedding band.
Oh.
The wife.
The ring.
The captain is married.
“Sometimes we have to do things we rather not do to make sure we come back home to them, keep that in mind Garrick”
“Yes sir” Gaz says, mind still processing this new found information.
“Good, now if you excuse me I have someone to call,”
Gaz without thinking says “the wife?”
Price only chuckles but nods his head in confirmation “the wife”
Soap is the third person to find out and it happens while 141 are relaxing on base, playing cards and drinking beer.
Price walks in with black slacks and a white button, rolled all the way up to his elbows. On top of that there’s an invisible trail of cologne that seems to follow his form.
“Captain! Come join us” soap says not even looking up at the man but instead keeping laser focus on the cards in his hand.
“No can do boys I’m heading out with the wife”
Soap almost drops the cards in his hand, head turning so fast Price is surprised he doesn’t get whiplash. “You’re married?”
“I am” Price says trying to suppress his chuckle when he sees Gaz peaking at Soap’s cards. “You weren’t planning on proposing were you soldier?” Price jokes which sends the rest of the group into a fit of laughter.
Soap physically recoils at that, head turning back to his cards and muttering a “to you captain? No thanks”
“Alright then, I’m heading out” Price says, choosing to ignore soaps comments, as he pulls on his jacket“don’t wait up!”
As Price makes his way over to the front door, he hears the group continuing to tease soap, can even hear the Scotsman accuse Gaz of looking at his cards, but he quickly forgets about everything as he sees you parked outside and waiting for him.
Ghost was very well aware of Price’s spouse, had even been the first person to know that Price was planning to propose.
The two of them had been in an entirely different squad, and less familiar with each other when they got sent out on a mission. A lot of things went wrong that day so much so Ghost and Price weren’t sure if the both of them would get back home alive. So Price had taken the opportunity to tell him about this special someone, how he was planning to propose to this person when they were scheduled to go back home, had even forced a wedding band in the palm of Ghost’s hand and told him to give it to the person if Price doesn’t make it out alive.
Luckily the both of them had managed to get out alive and Ghost had gotten the opportunity to watch Price put the ring on this person’s hand.
With that being said Ghost should be able to recognize this person if they were to appear in front of him but it’s been years so when he hears someone asking where Price is he doesn’t think twice about telling them, chalking it up to some poor lost recruit looking for the captain, while keeping his eyes on the weapon he’s cleaning.
However he doesn’t get to do much more before he hears another voice.
“Who’s the guy?” says soap, confusion clear in his tone.
Ghost turns to the other man and the annoyance must’ve been clear in his eyes because Soap raises his hands in an apologetic manner. “Oh sorry did i interrupt something important “ he says with a smile on his face.
“Anyway a tall really tall dude maybe taller than the ghost?” He pauses as if contemplating before he continues to explain “was looking for Price, really buff too…” he trails off while glancing down at his arms “hey you think I should work out more?”
Ghost just sighs before he returns to cleaning his weapon but he’s once again interrupted when Gaz walks in.
“Captain wants to see us in his office”
And that’s when he fully gives up on the task as he follows the two other men over to Price’s office, grumbling over why the captain was calling them over while putting up with the chatter from the Scotsman telling Gaz all about the giant that just passed him.
It doesn’t take much before they find themselves in front of Price’s office.
Through the door they can hear Price’s voice along with a much deeper voice, holding a conversation.
Soap is the first to knock on the door, while sharing confused glances with the two other men.
“Come in”
The three men enter the room only to be met with the sight of Price standing behind his office chair where a man is sitting in it, both of them sporting equally bright smiles on their faces.
“Boys” Price says, face ever so proud as he looks down at the man “meet the wife”
The man stands up, tall just like Soap had described him and when he reaches a hand out they see a wedding band that matches the one on Price’s hand.
“I’m the wife” you say with a big smile on your face.
#anonie me and u can still be /the wife/ fawk what everyone says 🤝#alec answers#john price#john price x reader#john price x male reader#call of duty#captain john price#captain john price x male reader#captain john price x reader#scribbles#feral anon
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thinking about how johnny asks moon to be his wife as soon as they meet 😭
i just wanna know so bad how would the guys react if their lil crush actually agreed
like soap asks moon for her hand in marriage and shes just like ok sure
actual marriage or does soap just go straight to dating status instead
You give that man an inch and he'll take a mile.
Soap spots you for the second time in as many weeks across the bar. The only decent pub near campus, and thus the only place he and the 141 scurry off to. Apparently the only place you know to hide out as well. He feels a little guilty abandoning his mates, but they'll understand. (Understand that he's pining and you're smart enough to know better) Again you don't even look up when he takes the seat next to you.
"Tennessee," He greets, tapping the bar for a pint. You glance at him with a sigh.
"Doctor," You correct, and he can't help the smile that takes over his face. You're just so pretty, sweet little accent and round vowels making him want to pinch you.
"Mrs. Mactavish," He offers instead. You roll your eyes and sip your drink. Not beer this time, it's a short glass with neat amber liquid tipping against the side. "Whiskey?"
"Bourbon," You mumble.
"You'd get on with Ghost, couple of good ol' boys," Soap mutters, giving a half hearted sniff at the offending liquid. You smile against the rim of your glass, your teeth catching the edge in a way that Soap can't help but find charming. It's like you're trying to hide that he could have any affect on you.
"Maybe I should be talking to him instead," You set your glass down, glancing around the bar. Something in Soap's chest burns, his ears hot as he settles a hand on your knee and leans close to catch your eye.
"Ah saw ya first," He tips his head, watching the way you lean back to avoid bumping him, pretty thing, pretty pretty thing, "Ah dinnae ken if ah could give ya up."
You hum, pluck his hand off your knee and set it on the bar. Those few seconds of holding your hand leave him wanting, every spare molecule of your touch buzzing when you let him go. "I'm not interested in dating coworkers," You tell him firmly.
"Was thinkin' of somethin' closer to marriage actually."
You laugh, a mirthful sound that makes Soap want to shiver. Oh you stupid pretty thing, you don't believe him do you? "That's funny, you're funny," You signal for the bartender to refill your glass. Soap raises his fingers to double it.
"What's funny about it?" He leans against the bar, crowding you in to your seat, forcing you to keep your attention on him.
"You wantin' to marry me." Your voice raises ever so slightly at the end, question as much as statement. He wonders if you believe your own doubts, or if you're just that used to shooting people down. Soap tips his head, and you mirror the motion, your fingers grip your glass and bring the recently refilled amber to your lips. Soap traces the path of your tongue over your lips, the way you catch each drop of bourbon without so much as a flinch, his eyes trained on the motion with reverence.
"You want me to get on one knee?" He offers. You shake your head with a roll of your eyes, back to sipping your drink and ignoring him. It almost gives him an idea. "How many of those are you havin' tonight?" He nods at your glass as you settle it on the bar.
-
It takes a lot to get you drunk, a fact you're particularly proud of, but that also means once you're there it takes very little to start making terrible decisions.
Your head is pounding when you wake up. You ignore that the sheets feel funny in favor of rubbing your fingers against your eyes. A quick wince when you bump something metal makes you draw your hand away to inspect the ring on your finger. A diamond bracketed by two rubies. Gold. You don't wear gold.
"What the fuck?" You mumble, trying to piece together the gap of memory you have in your night. Johnny pops his head into the bedroom and gives you a smile. You narrow your eyes at him, trying to manage anger around the splitting headache. You sit up, or attempt to, as he saunters into the room, and just as quickly grab the sheets to pull them back up over your bare chest.
"Please tell me we didn't fuck," You grit, closing your eyes against the sunshine he draws into the room.
"Course not," Johnny's fingers find your jaw, tipping your head back, "wouldnae take advantage of ya like tha'." You keep your eyes shut tight even as relief courses through you. God you can't think of anything worse than sleeping with your coworker before the semester has even started. "Did get married though," Johnny fills in, giving you a peck of a kiss before pulling away, "be careful with the ring, yeah? Family heirloom an' all that."
Ok. One thing worse than sleeping with your coworker before the semester has started.
#cod x reader#x reader#x oc#cod x oc#soap mactavish#john soap mactavish#johnny mactavish#john mactavish x reader#soap mactavish x reader#soap cod#soap mw2#soap x reader#professor au#oc: moon
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If your requests are open, can I get hard yandere Jake or Ni-Ki where they punish reader for escaping and staying with one of their friends?
𝕺𝖍 𝖒𝖞 𝕯𝖆𝖗𝖑𝖎𝖓𝖌…
✧warnings: Yandere themes, toxic themes, mentions of blood, manipulation(?), shirtless-ish riki, somewhat gore, mentions of sex
✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧
"Oh my sweet little y/n... I knew you were stupid but for you to be this stupid?!..." Riki tutted, a mocking pout on his lips, his shirt drenched with the blood of someone you called a friend. He barely knew you, yet he befriended you just because he knew you were in the danger of Riki. Your stupid self just had to believe Riki wouldn't know that the motherfucker would be keeping you in his house.
He was pissed. No he was beyond pissed, words can not explain how bad of a decision she made. Riki wasn't too into murdering people or ripping them apart, but for her? god a little blood on his hands was nothing let alone stabbing a dagger with her name encrypted into this so called friend of hers? heck he could even leave the body out because not even a family member was there to want him.
"Oh well... he lived a miserable life anyway.... this was your fault y/n. You know better than to trust a strangers word over mine. Fuck the fact you trusted another man. went into his house. wore his shirt. AND FUCKING LEFT ME?!" He finally yelled causing her to flinch, he stabbed him crazily as you screamed for him to stop, tears streaming down her cheeks. "STOP CRYING FOR HIM!" he screamed, slapping her painfully on her cheek.
he knelt down before her dark eyes, peircing into her as he groaned, he threw off his shirt "Mother fucker got his filthy blood all over my comfortable t-shirt. The one you should be wearing right now." he sharply said. The man was pissed. He slapped her yet again, ripping off the T-shirt she wore as she carried her and dropped her in the bathtub.
He didn't care that it was hurting her, he turned the tap on as he applied soap to the sponge and aggressively rubbed on her skin. "I know you wouldn't sleep with him. But you still hugged him. You still went in his house and sat on his rubbish sofa. Fuck imagine all the germs in that shithole you went to." He spat as he chucked the sponge at her and yanked her hair. "Clean yourself up and go to bed." He simply said before leaving the restroom.
"Oh no... I hurt my poor y/n oh sweetie... You need to know what you did is awful... you need to feel the pain I did... but I won't make it hurt as much as you hurt me because I love you... you can tell me anything.... did you have sex with this fucker?! is that why you're wearing his ugly shirt?!!!" Riki asked, as She stared in horror, and disgust. Riki chuckled
That very night, was the first time Riki hurt her, though it hurt him more to hurt her. He stepped out of the shower, smiling as he saw Y/n sitting on his bed, wearing his sweater, how it fell just off of her shoulder, her tears gone as she reached out to hug him, she just needed comfort... and she accepted her fate.
"So cute, I know you won't do something like that with some low life... awww my sweet innocent y/nie, so vulnerable and gullible, sweetheart, he's a pervert, he lied to you, he did this so he can use your precious body. You know I've never done and never will do that you know why? because I love you..." Riki explained as he cradled her in his arms.
He palnted soft kisses on her face "Oh my poor darling y/n... don't ever leave me... I can't live without you!" He said as Y/n placed a soft kiss on his plump lips, giving into his toxic love. She can't help it though... isn't it a good thing that he'd even kill for her?.... so many men have only hurt her, humiliated her or wanted to hook up with her but Riki... Riki loves her...
✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧❁✧
#yandere#enhypen#enha#yandere enha#yandere enhypen#enhypen yandere#enha yandere#kpop#kpop enha#nishimura riki#niki nishimura#enhypen niki#enhypen nishimura riki#riki enhypen#niki enhypen#niki enha#kpop yandere#enhypen scenarios#enha imagines#enhypen imagines#enha x reader#enhypen x reader#enhypen fanfic#ni ki#enhypen ff#engene#enhypen fluff#niki reaction#ni ki enhypen#enhypen niki ff
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hey btw free use with leon fem reader let’s go
(btw this is totally consensual and negotiated. pls respect ur partners boundaries !! contains some manhandling, roughness, and a mention of somno! this is re4r leon cuz he’s my boyfriend sorryyy)
he doesn’t know really what to initially expect when you first work out how, like, free use will work in your relationship. it technically goes both ways but leon’s a gentleman (actually not true he’s a perv he just got no game no confidence no rizz) and honestly it doesn’t really appeal to him to ‘take you whenever and wherever he wants’. not really his vibe. he gets nervous to be too touchy feely that he wouldn’t even consider it unless you’re asleep and he’s just gotten home from a mission, but even then he’d probably just wake you up.. screw ur sleep rhythm ur babygirl just got home from a mission!! and he’s horny!! help him out!!
but when it comes to you using him freely.. it’s a different story. nothing really compares to that warm feeling that builds in his stomach as you touch him, practically manhandling him into the position you want him in. groping his ass or chest whenever your please gives him butterflies, because he knows that finally, finally, you’re not holding back your desire for him. he can see it plain as day because there’s no wall there anymore of ‘does he want this? is it weird if i just do it out of nowhere? should i ask him first?’ kinda thoughts, just you touching him however you please, whenever you please.
and it’s so freeing to leon. god it really is. he doesn’t have to be a decision maker, a competent agent, a killer. he just has to exist, and you’ll do what you please with him. there’s no standard that he has to meet to be worthy of your love. in fact, he likes that he can easily tell how badly you want him, because you don’t even ask anymore. you just pull him close and fiddle with his belt and it’s not like he’s going to stop you, not when you’re pushing him down and making him feel small and submissive, vulnerable to your every whim.
truthfully? let’s be honest here, leon’s not the best with women. he’s awkward and can’t communicate very well, he tries his best and he’s genuine but god is he clumsy with words. he tries to be romantic but it comes off as boyish and you can’t help but laugh endearingly when your flirty or sexual comments go over his head. he’s dense, is all i’m saying. so it’s easier to just let you do whatever you please than having to explain to him that you’ve been making sexual remarks all night and he was too focused on your pretty face to realize you’ve wanted to fuck him stupid for hours.
he likes the kind of free use where you’re gentle with him, softly kissing his shoulder and grasping onto his torso from behind. he chuckles deeply, his hands pull away when he realizes that you’re sneaking your hand under his shirt to feel him up. he won’t stop you, not when you’re just feeling touchy.
but if he’s being honest, he likes the rough and demeaning free use more. pushing him down as soon as he gets home, not even giving him a moment to take off his jacket before you’re on top of him, touching him, whispering, “who cares if the neighbors hear us, baby? i hope they do. i hope they’re jealous of the stars you’re about to see.”
pinning him against the wall is so. ugh. god he’s so pathetic for getting off on it, but just thinking about putting him in a position he couldn’t get out of no matter how much stronger he is than you, completely just making him all vulnerable makes him so horny like!! he’s gotta be helpless there’s no other way !! can’t move can’t escape or get away (not that he’s trying to like. actually haha) all he can’t do is lay there pathetically as you like. press your thumb into his mouth or rub your knee against his crotch. and then get up and move on with your day like nothing happened !
pushing him against the kitchen counter, bending him over just to get a feel of his ass. his muscles are obviously tense, and he’s grateful you can’t see the look on his face from your perspective. he gasps and moans and his face is hot, his ears are such a pretty shade of red that you can’t help but want to embarrass him.
he’s yours to keep and love and fuck and god he’s all yours. all fucking yours. you touch him whenever you want, push his head between your thighs and keep him there until you’re satisfied, and use his cock for every last bit of pleasure it could give you, filling you up exactly how you like.
of course, you let him cum in the process, you’re not that selfish. but it’s mainly about you. it’s this possessive feeling in your soul that claims him as yours, all belonging to you, only you. the nails dragging down his back, digging into his skin, drawing his blood, tell him that loud and clear.
he’s a little terrified, but he’s into it.
#GUYS IM BACK CAN U BELIEVE!!! not sure for how long but im BACK#resident evil#leon kennedy#sub leon kennedy#leon kennedy smut#resident evil smut#leon kennedy resident evil#sub leon kennedy smut#leon kennedy x reader#leon kennedy x you#resident evil x reader#resident evil imagines#leon s. kennedy#re2r leon#re2 leon#re4r leon
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EMIZEL/FIZZFANGS ANALYSIS
the long awaited. under the cut bc its really long and im fucking insane. (this does not necessarily focus on them as a romantic pairing, just the way they interact with each other. interpret it in whichever way is most compelling to you/what you see fit.)
EMIZEL:
the most notable thing about emizel is the fact that he is mainly motivated by status and climbing the social hierarchy in whatever situation he is currently in. in his human life, that was climbing the ranks within the demons. after he dies, he doesnt really understand the social hierarchy within vampire society, but he does understand that its very important to at least be in good standing.
(episode 2)
he has an inherent disrespect towards authority, also seen with his father, (which i will get to later) as seen with this interaction with arthur. he's insistent on meeting the important figures within vampire society in la, and prioritizes this over, say, learning how being a vampire actually works. in the same episode, he also tells arthur "It just seems like we have similar goals, you know? I clearly don't know what I'm doing in vampire society. You do. So I need to learn. And you did say you'd take responsibility for teaching me." keep in mind that this is only a week or so after he was turned. things become interesting when we see him interacting with said important figures.
(episode 4)
in a stark contrast to arthur, hes relatively polite and respectful. obviously, this is to build favor for himself within the community of important and respected figures. also notable, he is lying out of his fucking ass. this is probably my biggest piece of evidence against the people that genuinely believe that emizel is unintelligent, because he clearly knows what hes doing.
as stated in the tweet, he gets killed/injured makes stupid decisions so often because he's used to operating under the rules of the demons and normal human society, and he hasnt learned that consequences and rules are enforced much harsher in regards to vampires. his rash and impulsive personality/decision making skills/opposition to authority figures that he doesnt like just isnt compatible with vampire society, and this leads to him getting hurt (see any and all of his interactions with edward)
(episode 4)
so, we know he lies to get what he wants (status, respect, etc) and doesn't feel bad about it. now is time to address his upbringing. obviously, it was not great. he has a very negative relationship with his father, and it wouldn't be too big of a stretch to describe it as potentially abusive. "Listen, I've lived with this guy my whole life. He's always kind of been a piece of shit to me, so do what you want - I couldn't care any less. But, if you're making me choose between my wellbeing and his, then I'm always going to choose me. Besides, I can't do any of that mind shit anyways." (episode 2) we can most likely assume he joined the demons relatively young, as a way to escape or have a place to stay other than his dads house. this is also probably the source of his opposition to authority, especially those that act negatively towards him.
(episode 6)
episode 6 is very interesting. emizel risks his life to go back to the unseen one to ask a very specific question: "why did i get abandoned with my father, and why did shilo get to stay?" also noting that his most precious memory is one he had with the demons. when shilo asks about this question, he gets very defensive, because he knows that shilo would have an answer for him, but its not the answer he wants. if he tells them, they wont let him go back to the unseen one. of course, his question is left unanswered, and he asks it again in episode 10.
another very interesting thing happens in episode 10: he willingly gets rid of all memories of his father. he had a lot of other things he could have given up, but he specifically chose his father. with the definite negative impact his dad must have had on him, and how highly emizel prioritizes strength, it wouldnt be a stretch to say that he viewed the trauma of living with his father as a weakness, something to get rid of instead of grow and heal from. it would take time, a resource he isn't willing to share.
so, why is emizel so motivated towards power and status? with all this, the answer is pretty obvious: he wants to be able to build the life he was never able to have. power and status means money means opportunities means choices means a better life. he wants an escape from la, from his father, from everything he's had to deal with growing up. hes constantly reminding himself that its not fair, its not fair that shilo got to live that way, its not fair he was abandoned and stuck here. so he wants to make it fair for himself and the rest of his posse. those he considers his family. his jealousy motivates him.
so of course a wrench is thrown in everything when he loses that emotional connection to most of his friends (except theo. which i will get to) and finds himself just not caring anymore. the thing hes built his life around, spent years climbing the ranks - all for nothing. but what else can he do but continue on. find another distraction, find another goal.
THEO:
we don't know much about theos past other than he (supposedly) lives in the suburbs and has rich parents. (referenced in episode 8) though this is debatably canon, i think its interesting if it is because it brings up a lot of questions. most notably, why did he join the demons? the most obvious answer is that it's the same as emizel: his parents suck. though of course none of this is canon, so moving onto the things that are.
the first major event that happens to him is emizel being turned. he sees emizel less, "No shit, really? You know Emizel? How is he keeping up? He's kinda, been disappearin' every night." (episode 2) and we can assume emizel is a big part of his life. (which i will get to later) and then, thanks to shilo, a core aspect of his personality is stripped away. his entire life is essentially turned on his head, and he can feel something missing. so, as seen in episode 5, he turns to alcohol. its no surprise why, he's lost the sense of normality, his routine, everything he was used to. so he may as well do this. a lot of theos more interesting aspects only really show when hes interacting with emizel, so time to get to the fun part.
FIZZFANGS AS A WHOLE:
a very interesting thing is that emizel and theo act very differently when talking/interacting with each other than any other character. dialogue-wise, they both talk a lot faster and "messier" around one another, interrupting themselves and eachother to finish each others thoughts.
(episode 3)
just by their conversations, you can tell they're very close. this particular instance also has two other interesting things in it: theo asking what he can do to help emizel, and condi specifying that theo would be the only person emizel would tell about being a vampire. to address the first part, here is a complete list of all the times theo asks emizel what he should do/what he should do to help/etc (and this is an incomplete transcript, so ive probably missed a couple.)
"Alright, you lead the way man, let's do it." (ep 1)
"What's going on here? What do I do? What do you want me to do, man?" (ep 1)
"No man! I'm not leaving you, man! I can take him. I can still take him." (ep 1)
"I'm not leaving you, man!" (ep 1)
"Well, how can I help you with the non-soda related-?" (ep 3)
"Yeah! I mean... What should I do first?" (ep 3)
"So you just let me know whenever you need? I got you, bro." (ep 3)
"So, uh… Anything I can help with?" (ep 5)
"Don't worry, man. I got you. Where am I taking you?" (ep 5)
"So, um… how, c- how can I help you, man?" (ep 8)
this fucking crazy interaction:
(episode 3)
so it goes without saying that theo would do anything for emizel. and he does, he stays in the alley even after he gets hurt, he stays even after he watches emizel die. and when emizel crawls over to him, dazed and hungry for blood, he doesnt run. he only runs after emizel tells him to. another really important thing about their relationship is the fact that they're both a constant in each others lives.
(episode 8)
its kind of like they sort people into two boxes: "theo/emizel" and "everyone else." and the other will always be their highest priority. emizel drives to the other side of la just to see theo. after emizel dies in the club, his first instinct is to go find theo. theo is the only person that the unseen one appears as to him. in episode 8, the first step to his plan is finding theo.
(episode 6)
even if he hadn't just lot a good amount of emotional connection to the rest of his friends, i think he would still be a lot more urgent to go save him. and again, his first thought is to check if theo is there. if theo's okay, if he's safe.
(episode 5)
and theo does this too. he insists that emizel is his only friend, the only one he trusts. speaking of trust, that is the most crucial aspect to their relationship. they trust eachother a sickening amount, they regularly put their life in the others hands. when emizel drinks theos blood, its not "is he going to hurt me?" its "how can i make this the safest?" because theo trusts emizel not to hurt him, even after knowing he's killed ~12 people.
(episode 3)
and here, emizel trusts that theo loves him enough to be okay with this. note that arthur doesn't even bring up love, emizel is the first to. arthur only brings it up after emizel says that. because emizel knows that theo loves him and trusts him, emizel knows that theo would do anything for him.
(episode 9)
and emizel, notorious for not letting anyone close enough to hurt him, tells theo that if he wants to, not needs, wants, he can kill him. that theo can kill him, if he wants. because emizel doesn't fully trust himself alone, but he trusts himself when he's with theo.
and theo trusts emizel too. despite seeing what vampires can do in a frenzy, he trusts that emizel wouldn't hurt him, just as emizel trusts that theo would stop him before anything could ever happen. and emizel is a notorious liar, so we can assume that he doesn't/wouldn't lie to theo, which would explain why theo trusts him so much.
basically, they'll always be there for eachother and theo would do anything for emizel and emizel will always come back to theo in the end and they love eachother and despite everything they are together. theyre completely inseperable.
tl;dr: emizels main MOTIVATION is status, while the most IMPORTANT thing to him is theo
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The real AI fight
Tonight (November 27), I'm appearing at the Toronto Metro Reference Library with Facebook whistleblower Frances Haugen.
On November 29, I'm at NYC's Strand Books with my novel The Lost Cause, a solarpunk tale of hope and danger that Rebecca Solnit called "completely delightful."
Last week's spectacular OpenAI soap-opera hijacked the attention of millions of normal, productive people and nonsensually crammed them full of the fine details of the debate between "Effective Altruism" (doomers) and "Effective Accelerationism" (AKA e/acc), a genuinely absurd debate that was allegedly at the center of the drama.
Very broadly speaking: the Effective Altruists are doomers, who believe that Large Language Models (AKA "spicy autocomplete") will someday become so advanced that it could wake up and annihilate or enslave the human race. To prevent this, we need to employ "AI Safety" – measures that will turn superintelligence into a servant or a partner, nor an adversary.
Contrast this with the Effective Accelerationists, who also believe that LLMs will someday become superintelligences with the potential to annihilate or enslave humanity – but they nevertheless advocate for faster AI development, with fewer "safety" measures, in order to produce an "upward spiral" in the "techno-capital machine."
Once-and-future OpenAI CEO Altman is said to be an accelerationists who was forced out of the company by the Altruists, who were subsequently bested, ousted, and replaced by Larry fucking Summers. This, we're told, is the ideological battle over AI: should cautiously progress our LLMs into superintelligences with safety in mind, or go full speed ahead and trust to market forces to tame and harness the superintelligences to come?
This "AI debate" is pretty stupid, proceeding as it does from the foregone conclusion that adding compute power and data to the next-word-predictor program will eventually create a conscious being, which will then inevitably become a superbeing. This is a proposition akin to the idea that if we keep breeding faster and faster horses, we'll get a locomotive:
https://locusmag.com/2020/07/cory-doctorow-full-employment/
As Molly White writes, this isn't much of a debate. The "two sides" of this debate are as similar as Tweedledee and Tweedledum. Yes, they're arrayed against each other in battle, so furious with each other that they're tearing their hair out. But for people who don't take any of this mystical nonsense about spontaneous consciousness arising from applied statistics seriously, these two sides are nearly indistinguishable, sharing as they do this extremely weird belief. The fact that they've split into warring factions on its particulars is less important than their unified belief in the certain coming of the paperclip-maximizing apocalypse:
https://newsletter.mollywhite.net/p/effective-obfuscation
White points out that there's another, much more distinct side in this AI debate – as different and distant from Dee and Dum as a Beamish Boy and a Jabberwork. This is the side of AI Ethics – the side that worries about "today’s issues of ghost labor, algorithmic bias, and erosion of the rights of artists and others." As White says, shifting the debate to existential risk from a future, hypothetical superintelligence "is incredibly convenient for the powerful individuals and companies who stand to profit from AI."
After all, both sides plan to make money selling AI tools to corporations, whose track record in deploying algorithmic "decision support" systems and other AI-based automation is pretty poor – like the claims-evaluation engine that Cigna uses to deny insurance claims:
https://www.propublica.org/article/cigna-pxdx-medical-health-insurance-rejection-claims
On a graph that plots the various positions on AI, the two groups of weirdos who disagree about how to create the inevitable superintelligence are effectively standing on the same spot, and the people who worry about the actual way that AI harms actual people right now are about a million miles away from that spot.
There's that old programmer joke, "There are 10 kinds of people, those who understand binary and those who don't." But of course, that joke could just as well be, "There are 10 kinds of people, those who understand ternary, those who understand binary, and those who don't understand either":
https://pluralistic.net/2021/12/11/the-ten-types-of-people/
What's more, the joke could be, "there are 10 kinds of people, those who understand hexadecenary, those who understand pentadecenary, those who understand tetradecenary [und so weiter] those who understand ternary, those who understand binary, and those who don't." That is to say, a "polarized" debate often has people who hold positions so far from the ones everyone is talking about that those belligerents' concerns are basically indistinguishable from one another.
The act of identifying these distant positions is a radical opening up of possibilities. Take the indigenous philosopher chief Red Jacket's response to the Christian missionaries who sought permission to proselytize to Red Jacket's people:
https://historymatters.gmu.edu/d/5790/
Red Jacket's whole rebuttal is a superb dunk, but it gets especially interesting where he points to the sectarian differences among Christians as evidence against the missionary's claim to having a single true faith, and in favor of the idea that his own people's traditional faith could be co-equal among Christian doctrines.
The split that White identifies isn't a split about whether AI tools can be useful. Plenty of us AI skeptics are happy to stipulate that there are good uses for AI. For example, I'm 100% in favor of the Human Rights Data Analysis Group using an LLM to classify and extract information from the Innocence Project New Orleans' wrongful conviction case files:
https://hrdag.org/tech-notes/large-language-models-IPNO.html
Automating "extracting officer information from documents – specifically, the officer's name and the role the officer played in the wrongful conviction" was a key step to freeing innocent people from prison, and an LLM allowed HRDAG – a tiny, cash-strapped, excellent nonprofit – to make a giant leap forward in a vital project. I'm a donor to HRDAG and you should donate to them too:
https://hrdag.networkforgood.com/
Good data-analysis is key to addressing many of our thorniest, most pressing problems. As Ben Goldacre recounts in his inaugural Oxford lecture, it is both possible and desirable to build ethical, privacy-preserving systems for analyzing the most sensitive personal data (NHS patient records) that yield scores of solid, ground-breaking medical and scientific insights:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_-eaV8SWdjQ
The difference between this kind of work – HRDAG's exoneration work and Goldacre's medical research – and the approach that OpenAI and its competitors take boils down to how they treat humans. The former treats all humans as worthy of respect and consideration. The latter treats humans as instruments – for profit in the short term, and for creating a hypothetical superintelligence in the (very) long term.
As Terry Pratchett's Granny Weatherwax reminds us, this is the root of all sin: "sin is when you treat people like things":
https://brer-powerofbabel.blogspot.com/2009/02/granny-weatherwax-on-sin-favorite.html
So much of the criticism of AI misses this distinction – instead, this criticism starts by accepting the self-serving marketing claim of the "AI safety" crowd – that their software is on the verge of becoming self-aware, and is thus valuable, a good investment, and a good product to purchase. This is Lee Vinsel's "Criti-Hype": "taking press releases from startups and covering them with hellscapes":
https://sts-news.medium.com/youre-doing-it-wrong-notes-on-criticism-and-technology-hype-18b08b4307e5
Criti-hype and AI were made for each other. Emily M Bender is a tireless cataloger of criti-hypeists, like the newspaper reporters who breathlessly repeat " completely unsubstantiated claims (marketing)…sourced to Altman":
https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/111464030855880383
Bender, like White, is at pains to point out that the real debate isn't doomers vs accelerationists. That's just "billionaires throwing money at the hope of bringing about the speculative fiction stories they grew up reading – and philosophers and others feeling important by dressing these same silly ideas up in fancy words":
https://dair-community.social/@emilymbender/111464024432217299
All of this is just a distraction from real and important scientific questions about how (and whether) to make automation tools that steer clear of Granny Weatherwax's sin of "treating people like things." Bender – a computational linguist – isn't a reactionary who hates automation for its own sake. On Mystery AI Hype Theater 3000 – the excellent podcast she co-hosts with Alex Hanna – there is a machine-generated transcript:
https://www.buzzsprout.com/2126417
There is a serious, meaty debate to be had about the costs and possibilities of different forms of automation. But the superintelligence true-believers and their criti-hyping critics keep dragging us away from these important questions and into fanciful and pointless discussions of whether and how to appease the godlike computers we will create when we disassemble the solar system and turn it into computronium.
The question of machine intelligence isn't intrinsically unserious. As a materialist, I believe that whatever makes me "me" is the result of the physics and chemistry of processes inside and around my body. My disbelief in the existence of a soul means that I'm prepared to think that it might be possible for something made by humans to replicate something like whatever process makes me "me."
Ironically, the AI doomers and accelerationists claim that they, too, are materialists – and that's why they're so consumed with the idea of machine superintelligence. But it's precisely because I'm a materialist that I understand these hypotheticals about self-aware software are less important and less urgent than the material lives of people today.
It's because I'm a materialist that my primary concerns about AI are things like the climate impact of AI data-centers and the human impact of biased, opaque, incompetent and unfit algorithmic systems – not science fiction-inspired, self-induced panics over the human race being enslaved by our robot overlords.
If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:
https://pluralistic.net/2023/11/27/10-types-of-people/#taking-up-a-lot-of-space
Image:
Cryteria (modified) https://commons.wikimedia.org/wiki/File:HAL9000.svg
CC BY 3.0
https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by/3.0/deed.en
#pluralistic#criti-hype#ai doomers#doomers#eacc#effective acceleration#effective altruism#materialism#ai#10 types of people#data science#llms#large language models#patrick ball#ben goldacre#trusted research environments#science#hrdag#human rights data analysis group#red jacket#religion#emily bender#emily m bender#molly white
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the take that hosea is a good father is an understandable one, considering it mostly derives from comparison to dutch, who groomed two orphan boys to be outlaws, pitted them against one another through his favouritism, treated one son more as a workhorse than a son to the point where he literally drives himself to sickness and injury and has most of his self worth come from what he can do for others, dismissed his gang members when they had concerns - often berating them and accusing them of not being loyal (which he does repeatedly, sometimes unprompted, to men and women who have been loyal to him for years), prioritised a man so vile that most - if not all except dutch - did not like him - a man who went against everything he claimed to stand for - a man who was actively a threat to the people of colour and the women who dutch had promised safety too, did not plan to rescue his son who was being tortured and very close to death after being captured from a very obvious trap, did not plan to rescue his other son from prison, taunting his dying son over being too tired to go on any jobs, claiming that he never had a son in an effort to manipulate eagle flies, pointing a gun at his son and leaving them to die, (and that's outside of his other crimes, being abusive to his girlfriend as well as hitting on other women in front of her and making it so the gang members treat her like shit. exploiting a fucking genocide for his own personal gain, and more)
so it's easy to look between the two and think "wow, hosea is so much better than him, he must be a good father/man," but that just isn't true, he's.. more okay than anything. not only was he complicit in signing his children's death warrant, raising them to be outlaws, and putting them in so much danger, he was also complicit and enabled dutchs treatment of the gang members, not just arthur and john either, but all of them.
he is the second in charge, the other half of the curious couple, he holds so much power in the gang, and we see that with how they listen and confide in him, and yet he doesn't do much, he doesn't stop dutch from mistreating the gang members, doesn't stop dutch from doing much of anything (even things he clearly disagrees with), doesn't throw micah out (which, I repeat, he does have the power to do so, especially since dutch still respects hosea, yes, we see dutch not listen to hosea that much, but he still respects him and his decisions, still clearly cares for hosea, i'm sure if hosea were to dig his feet in on something instead of rolling over, dutch would at least consider, of course this is just my interpretation), doesn't work to settle tensions between the gang, he still brings the gang on dangerous jobs that are doomed to fail (one of which results in his own death) - believing in his own hubris and intelligence which results in him underestimating his enemies, and he doesn't take charge even when he knows something is wrong.
it isn't just this either, he has his moments where he too treats the gang members (not just arthur) unfairly, berating, and using physical aggression on sean and bill, comes to mind (although, this was a different time where such actions were acceptable back then and sean and bill were generally being rather lazy, which could very much put them in danger,) but he was also at fault in the raising of his two sons into the roles that they had and is partly responsible for arthurs incredibly low self esteem, often calling him stupid and ugly looking, which may be jokes to him but something arthur very much takes to heart, believing it to be true.
sure, we see him asking arthur to rest and trying and succeeding to get the gang members to open up, and actually listening to them, we see him comfort them and respect them, unlike dutch, and he's very good at that, I applaud him for it, but I can't help but feel this mostly coming from his old age and the fact that he feels (and is correct) about the gang coming to an end and realising what he has done, trying to rectify the situation, soothe his regret if you will. that doesn't mean he didn't take this role much sooner (likely back to when bessie had passed), but I believe he fully delved into this role because of his old age and his regret, wanting to make sure he feels the world with as little of it as possible. he has been a complicit and active participant in everything.
this isn't anti-hosea, i love hosea to bits, i wish he could very much replace my pa but I wish people would understand that just because dutch is awful, does not mean that hosea is an angel, he's decent, at best.
#would you believe i wrote this all while being in the bath. i was washing my hair and inspiration just hit me. lol#rdr2#red dead redemption 2#rdr2 hosea matthews#hosea matthews#rdr2 dutch van der linde#dutch van der linde#rdr2 arthur morgan#arthur morgan#rdr2 john marston#john marston#rdr2 van der linde gang#van der linde gang#strawberry speaks
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I can't take Naruto seriously sometimes because I have to laugh at some of the "omg this kid must be a genius" moments of the manga.
Most of the time it's so painfully clear those are just kids. Confused, desperate, traumatized to no end, scared. Kids that want to believe in a greater good to justify the violence they commit. Kids, just kids. They don't know who to trust, they get manipulated, they make me want to tear apart the adults in their lives and scream and cry an—
Shisui's solution to stop the Uchiha coup was to brainwash Fugaku and to be honest? Fugaku was not even half the problem. The problem was that the Uchiha prejudice had reached unparalleled levels, that the system was stepping on them and had been stepping on them since Hashirama was still alive. There's no way that the clan would have stayed quiet, even if Fugaku ordered them to not follow the plan.
Shisui was smart for his age but he was desperate and he was scared and he was, at the end of the day, just a teenager. That's why he got killed by Danzo. That's why he suicided and left the burden to Itachi to carry.
Itachi was a kid too. Fuck the genius title, it is complete bullshit in Naruto. He thought that the solution was to follow Hiruzen's plan because he was so traumatized by war, he would do literally anything to avoid it. But massacring his whole clan was any better? Didn't he kill innocent people all the same? Didn't he prolong the suffering of Konoha? Hiruzen had the audacity to say that Itachi was wise as a kage in his young age, which is stupid and shows what Hiruzen thinks a kage is and how they should think.
Shisui and Itachi were not geniuses. They were kids / teenagers who happened to be more ways to mold and turn into weapons. That they were smart doesn't mean they were adults.
Neji? He was strong, he was smart and mature. He was one of the best members of the Hyuga clan at 12 years old, a pattern shared with Shisui and Itachi. However, the Chuning Exams made it very clear that Neji was as lost and confused and hollow as the rest of those "geniuses". He was lied to. It's a tradition at this point: how much info do you think they are keeping away from you so that you behave like they want you to behave?
Kakashi? He said it himself that he was stupid for believing he was such a big deal, when in fact his attitude didn't help him save his teammates or properly train his students. The genius title only served to cause him pain. In the Naruto universe, people assume you are immune to emotions or being your age if you're a genius, it seems.
"This kid is a genius" and then the story proceeds to show them making a terrible decision that is not even theirs, it's the system playing with them.
Over and over and over again.
#think about a naruto kid genius and read this post and my points still stands#naruto#kakashi hatake#Itachi uchiha#shisui uchiha#neji hyuga#neji hyuuga#neji hyūga#naruto shippuden#naruto classic
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Reverb • chapter six
synopsis: after a reluctant trip to the club and a much needed chat with his best friend, EJ makes a spur of the moment decision to visit (y/n), who is currently in Houston for a performance. The pair’s flirtatious friendship and sexual tension all come to a head when he surprises the budding influencer in her hotel room and they enjoy a night of passion. But what awaits them after the steamy hookup and where do they go from here?
content warning: heavy sexual content, porn without plot (almost), fingering, oral sex, backshots, choking, riding, lots of dirty talk, unprotected sex
“But I’m not that stupid. Imma fuck you so good, you’ll forget all about that.”
📝: this has taken me forever and a century to get out, I know so many of y’all were asking about it and I am soooo sorry! But it’ll be resuming regular uploads from hear on out.
wc: 7.1k
prev chapter >> next chapter
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“EJ? W-what are you doing here?!”
the first words to leave your mouth once he broke the kiss. Just as fast, you scrambled to retrieve your phone and end the chat before any more of your personal business could play out in front of the world. Truthfully, it was best that you did because what he had on the forefront of his mind was enough to give them all an eyeful! But right now, you needed to close the door before anyone spotted you two together. Tugging him by his wrist, you’d quickly close it shut and lock it behind you guys.
“Came to see you, why else?” A very obvious answer but one that did little to ease your concern. One, he was supposed to be resting and taking it easy. Last you heard, he had collapsed from exhaustion..so why was he standing in your hotel room? And two…
“I know but…why?” As flattered as you were, it was still confusing! You didn’t think he’d actually show up so soon. Regardless, you weren’t mad that he was here. And it was clear that he just couldn’t wait any longer to pull up as he’d promised. Inching closer, he’d tug you towards him and into another sloppy kiss, this time mumbling against your lips and caressing your back. “Why not? I missed you..is that not a good enough reason?” Of course you didn’t attest and actually desired it..more so than anything else but were you guys really ready for this? Ready to give into your temptations this early on? And the fact he took a flight out to come be with you was something no one had ever done. “I ain’t trying to distract you or anything…I just—you been on my mind, (y/n). Heavy..I need you.”
glaring at you with those deep set, green eyes and caressing your cheek with his thumb. His tall frame towering over you and his soft lips brushing your own..how could you not melt for him instantly?! A faint smile broke across your face and you’d gently tug him downward with a gentle, reassuring hand around the back of his neck. “You been on mine too..” uttering in that sweet little accent he loved so much. You really had a way of turning him on with the slightest touch.. “…then what are we waiting for?” Eventually, the two of you would begin making out; swirling and sucking on each other’s tongues as he guided you back towards the mattress and placed you on top of it. Running your hands up his shirt and rubbing on his chiseled abs. Your legs spread and coiled around his waist, almost like it was instinctively..
the way your body reacted to him without so much as no contact before was insane. Moaning into one another’s mouths and soon, you’d come to and just stare for a moment. In disbelief that things had actually gotten this far from a few flirtatious texts..
“..I’ve been waiting on this for a week. You so fucking fine, (y/n)..damn.” Murmuring into the crook of your neck, whimpering your name as he massaged your skin. He was desperate..desiring you more so than he had let on. Hoenstly, it wasn’t in his nature to fawn over a woman or even be openly affectionate but behind these closed doors, he was free to do as he wished. Able to be vulnerable and open because something about you felt safe enough to do that. Not to mention, the way you begged him to come put it down after the little display, he couldn’t disappoint. “EJ…I need you so bad..” That statement alone was all the motivation he needed to make sure that he left a lasting impression. Which he’d start by getting into some foreplay.
“Don’t worry, baby . I promise I’ll make this trip well worth it for both of us. You just lay that pretty ass back and let me take care of you. Can I do that?” Melting like putty in his palms at the uttering of that statement. His voice was smoother than honey and so deep, it sent chills..along with tingles throughout your body. (Y/N) wasn’t the type to open up so easily either but your sentiments mirrored his: maybe he just felt secure; as if you could trust him not to make you regret your decision. “I told you..you can do whatever you want. Just fuck me better than my last.” To him, it was something so sexy about a woman who knew exactly what she wanted! Who told him what she wished for and he better knew what to do with it. Not promiscuous in the slightest but not shy about your needs at all. Placing a couple more soft kisses to your jawline, Eren chuckled and got the two of you readjusted so that it allowed for more room.
that way, he could partially undress and lie next to you. “I don’t think that’s gone’ be a problem..” meanwhile, his lips were marking up your neck, gently kissing on the skin and his hand trailing down your body. His first fixation were the ample breasts, sitting pretty in between that lace bra and little tank top you were wearing. Whether from the cool air or him caressing you, your nipples were poking through the material and he had to get a better look. “..I mean, look at you. You telling me your ex couldn’t make you come? Not once, baby?..” shaking your head in response as he slid the shirt down to expose them so suavely. You had most certainly confided in EJ and told him about the horrible sex life with your previous partner. And sadly, he wasn’t the only one..it was shocking but you had a couple suitors between the time since your relationship but none of them were worth a damn. One couldn’t find the clit to save his life and the other didn’t last more than one round. So you’ve been celibate ever since. Not wasting your time, energy or good pussy on a man who didn’t deserve that shit! Luckily for you, he was just the guy to break the cycle.
“That’s a damn shame, huh? What kind of man would let someone so beautiful leave unsatisfied?…” all the while he was talking, he’d gently flick his fingertips across your nipples and keep lightly feeding you sloppy kisses. And you’d do exactly as he wished. All the while, his other fingers were trailing lower and lower…hovering across your belly button before stopping just above your plump pussy lips and tugging at the thin waistline on those shorts. You’d even spread your legs apart for him, biting your fingertip and whimpering for him. “But I’m not that stupid. Imma fuck you so good, you’ll forget all about that.” Eren wasted no time connecting your tongues yet again, twirling them around one another and simultaneously, softly shoving that free hand into your panties. Instantly feeling how wet you were and deciding to make it even worse. The second that sharp gasp left your mouth, this man would cup your jaw and resume those sloppy pecks. Moaning into one another’s mouths whilst his fingers thrashed around inside of you. Thumb pad circling your clit and those toes curling in mid air. The sounds of sloshing wetness growing louder along with those cute little cries of yours..he couldn’t help but to grow stiffer from behind the confines of those joggers; the pressing hard on grazing your leg.
meanwhile, you were trying to work your way out of your own undergarments, desperate to have him do his worst to you. All those words he baited you on with in text and vice versa..the talks of bouncing you on his dick, folding your legs back and even sliding it in from the side as he whispered in your ear. Things that you had only dreamed of until now and same went for him. Both of you were gravely deprived of passionate lovemaking and a connection to another person; having been single for so long. Who would’ve known it would have come instantly between the two of you?
“There you go, baby…keep riding those fingers for me. It’s so fucking wet..I just know you gone feel so good..” whispering into your ear with a subtle grunt. The thoughts crossing his mind as he worked those digits between your folds were utterly filthy. He had to remind himself that you weren’t his girl and he had to take it easy. The things he wanted to do with you were not suited for a first time hookup. You wouldn't ever be the same afterwards..even still, (y/n) squirmed and so desperately tried to impale yourself on his digits; hands hooked around his inked forearm, which was in turn, locked around your neck..plain desperate for some dick. But in all honesty, he knew that you weren’t ready for it. As it stood, he could fit maybe two, three inches tops inside of you and surely, you wouldn’t be satisfied with that!
“EJ…mmm! ‘S go good—need you to fuck me..” pathetically whining as you clenched the sheets and his skin, begging for more.
“I know, mama..but not yet..” and you could beg him all you wanted but the last thing he believed in was ramming his cock inside of a woman without getting you prepared for it first. Even with all the prep and care, he’d still had women tapping on him and crying at the three inch mark, telling him it hurt. However, you weren’t about to sit idly by while he had all the fun. Instead, you’d reach down and begin toying with that print in his pants. He didn’t mind if you played along..hell, it’d make it all that much better. Both of you could enjoy this moment. “Oh shit…” for a while, the teasing would continue…your smaller hand wrapped around that much larger dick, jerking him off slowly. Causing precum to stain your nails. His fingers pressed inside of that sensitive flesh and you eventually, flooding the sheets..after he gently pushed down to the center of your belly and jolted those two digits; pumping until you couldn’t hold back any longer.
“Oh my god! EJ, I’m coming..” clutching his arm as you came; flailing aimlessly around the sheets until you flooded them with your stream of juices. Both of you were in awe of how intense things had grown so quickly! Nevermind the fact that you were supposed to have been in the lobby by now..meeting the rest of your party but that was out of the question. The sweat and tears trickling down your cheeks had all but ruined your makeup. Not to mention the fact that it’d take something serious to pry you off of this man right now..withdrawing those fingers, Eren watched as your slick dripped from them and the reaction plastered on your face. Your bare chest heaving from the climax and excitement of what was next. The realization of you being half dressed and in hair rollers hadn’t even hit him but he'd laugh the second it registered. “Damn, did I interrupt something?” Questioning rhetorically before shoving them in between your quivering lips. But you’d merely giggle and suck them clean.
“Something like that.”
“Looks like I gotta make it right then..that’s only if you don’t mind me spending the night. Just don’t tell your friends though.”
“I can keep a secret.”
and trust, he had just the thing to atone for his interruption. Finally rendering yourselves completely nude; stripping from any and all articles of clothing and tossing them to the carpet, Eren made haste in flipping you onto your back while he took to his knees. Pinning you down by those thick thighs before diving face first between them. You didn’t know what hit you when you felt his tongue brazenly glide across your aching clit.. “ooh!” Garnering the exact reaction he had hoped from you as those lips suctioned around your swollen little bud. Sensitive each time he touched them but trust, he was going to take his sweet time enjoying this. Soaking in your scent and flavor; greedily sucking on that pretty pink flesh while his tongue explored each of those folds. You were amazed..even a bit in shock that he was so quick to put his mouth on you.. right after making you come once. Almost as if he wanted to attend to your needs first and forget his own…possibly even deriving his pleasure from watching you get off. Hadn’t had that in a long time..
“Mmmm…taste so good, (y/n). Go ‘head..grab my hair and ride my fucking face, baby..” that deep, gravelly voice muttering as he gave you a reassuring slap to the ass and made you jolt. Just as he prompted, you’d tangle his chocolate wefts between your acrylic fingertips and buck your hips forward; meeting the thrashing from his mouth. (Y/N) couldn’t help but to release an ear curdling moan and a tear or two..toes curling as they rested across the top of his shoulder blade. Regardless of your uncontrollable trembling, he’d keep a firm grasp on your thighs; his chain grazing the inner corner of it and further devouring your soaking cunt. He didn’t care if you screamed his name loud enough for the entire hotel to hear it..he wasn’t letting up until he felt compelled to and that was obvious.
the sounds of humming and whimpering from him making vibrations against your sex. Never had a man made you feel this good! “Oh my gosh! Fuck..I—“ finding yourself at a complete loss for words as they trailed off and all you could do was release breathy huffs. Crying and whimpering for him to give you more..
“..you’ve never had it like this, huh? Got you shaking and shit..feel good?” Questioning so sweetly and softly that his voice alone made you weak. For a moment, all you could do was toss your head back and cry out. But then, when you thought he couldn’t get anymore attractive, he took even more dominion over you. Bringing that long, muscular, tattooed arm up across your torso, Eren gently cuffed his palm around your neck and squeezed softly, as to bring you back to consciousness and establish control. “I asked a question, baby..am I doing a good job?” and you’d be quick to answer when his gaze met yours; gulping at the subtle aggression. “Yes, daddy..so fucking good..” satisfying both him and his ego with it. The smirk that formed across his face was an indicator that he was pleased. Having called him the name a couple times in text messages but hearing your sweet voice say it, hit completely different. And it was well deserved after the way he had you dripping down his chin and coming back to back.
“Good girl. That’s all I need to hear..” little did you know, you had all but ignited a fire underneath him and from that point on, he was feasting on your pussy as if it were the last thing he’d ever put his mouth on! Spitting between your puffy lips, slurping loudly and shoving his tongue into your tight hole. At this point, not even you could reign him in. Drawing up strings of saliva and syrupy flavored sex, he only doubled down on it at the sight of you trying to push him away. However, he’d keep eye contact and not break it for anything. Even when you had all but squirted and wet him up! It was only when you nearly came off the mattress, arching your back to its highest height did he let you get a breather.
“Where are you going? ‘ Thought you said you were gone’ put it in my face when you saw me...no running now, baby.” flatlining against the bed and breathing harshly from all the pleasure, which in turn, only made the two of you burst into laughter. It was obvious he was making you eat your dirty little words.
“No—I can’t fuck with youuuu...I take it back.” Tossing your hands above your head in playful distress as you flailed around. Not to mention the fact that you were crying as you came. But they were tears of joy rather than pain or disappointment. Which made it all the more worth it. And you were happy you could enjoy yourself with each other..able to joke and be silly. But he still had quite a bit of business to handle. He didn’t come all the way to H-Town just to play..he was going to deliver on all the things he had confided in you over FaceTime. For the time being, he wasn’t worried about anything else..
no deadlines, album teasers, none of that shit…just (y/n) and that beautiful body! “Nah, I can’t have that. I need you to take it.” gently tugging you closer towards him, Eren folded you up once more to angle you fully into a mating press. Feet nearly touching the headboard and legs behind your head. He was enamored for many reasons at the moment. One being the display before him. Pretty face, pretty little fat pussy, perfect body and white painted toes with an anklet laced around your leg and matching nails; his literal weakness on a woman. It was something about this angle and view that was driving him crazy. “..need you take this dick. Can you do that?” “Hell yes..” He knew you were flexible enough to maintain that position without any problems. He’d seen how you so easily maneuvered that pole and hit splits on it all the time. So getting this dick should’ve been easy.
but the second he took his shaft into his own hand and splayed it across your wet slit, he could see the look in your eyes shift from lust filled to a bit fearful. His size was a little intimidating for you. Watching him stroke it through a camera and in person were two different things..it had to be at least eight inches; with thick girth and a single vein running down the middle. You knew he was packing and still thought it was a game! But alas, you were about to really see if you could handle everything that you had asked of this man. Or hand your horny ass mouth gotten you in trouble? Even so, being the sweetheart he was, EJ brushed the side of your cheek and bent down to kiss you. Hoping to give you some reassurance that he was going to take all the time in the world to do this right.. “Don’t worry, I’m not gonna hurt you. We’ll go slow until you can fit it all, okay?” The way he spoke to you alone made the trust you had for this man skyrocket. He felt so safe and comfortable for some reason..as if you had nothing to worry about. You weren’t his woman or even remotely close to it and yet, he treated you as if you were the most fragile thing in the world. Handling you with such care, it made you never want him to leave, even if it was impossible. But for now, you’d enjoy this moment for what it was and each other. Nodding your head, you’d return his kiss and let him proceed. As he remained hovered on you, Eren kept your foreheads pressed together and a grip on the headboard. Meanwhile, your hand coiled around the back of his neck. So intimate and close for two people who had only met weeks ago..
but you were about to become even closer acquainted as he prepared to glide in. “You’re not scared, are you?” “Shit, maybe a little..” whimpering softly against his lips as he inched closer; to which he could do nothing but laugh. You could feel his tip finally pressing right up against those dripping folds..splitting the entrance open. Leaning up just a tad so that the two of you could watch it glide in together. “Well don’t be. I know it’s a lot but I’ll make you feel good..better than you have in a long time. Just focus on me, alright?” He knew you were growing impatient but he had his reasons for going at this pace..however, the anticipation would be short lived as that tip disappeared inside of you along with the first inch or so. The expression on his face told it all!.. “oh, fuck…” grunting so suddenly; caught off guard by your warm sensation. Not to mention the fact that you were so tight, he could barely squeeze in. Yeah, you were going to be some pressure, just as he suspected!
even so, he remained steadfast and kept his cool because it had been quite a while since he’d had sex and more so specifically, had some pussy this goddamned good! Sharp gasps left both of your mouths at the same time as that feeling of the first thrust hit. He’d watch as you winced up and was quick to console you. “Shhh..it’s okay, baby. Just relax..” Sending shockwaves through your bodies. Sucking him in like a vacuum and trust, he had no intentions of coming out any time soon. “Damn, baby.. ‘s shit feels so good..” once he saw that you were fine and asked if you were okay to keep going, he’d try to garner some sort of pace and rhythm. Those eyes fixated on his lower half for the time being as you watched him ease another couple inches inside. Taking deep breaths to process the feeling. You were so full with him already and he was barely midway..
“Oh my God…” the only coherent thing you could mutter as your eyes fell shut and your hands shuffled up his back. This was really happening and nothing could stop this moment. All of that talking and filthy flirtation had come to its head. Time to really back it up. Digging your nails gently into his shoulder blades, (y/n) whimpered in his ear and he figured that to be a better way than any to know how to maneuver; to slow down or go a little faster when your words didn’t allow for it. Placing kisses on your neck, Eren made his first full thrust and eased in a little more, just to test and see how much you could take..eventually making a couple more so you could get accustomed to his shape.
“That’s it..open up for me, baby. You’re doing so good already.” consistently doting on (y/n) to make you more at ease. Making certain he didn’t see you tense up at any time or wince in any pain again..the second he did, he would stop in his tracks! But as of right now, he could feel that cunt clamping down on him, your nails scaling up his back and that precious voice in his ear saying.. “I can take it..deeper, please..” he could never be so foolish as to deny a pretty girl’s request. Kissing your temple ever so gently, Eren just smirked and attempted to fit a bit more in. That spongy flesh was squeezing and squelching for him..soaking wet after just a minute or two. “Whatever you say, baby. This is your dick now. You can have as much as you want..as much as you can take…” and something about that sentence just unlocked a whole new level of demon inside of you. Telling you that, knowing he wasn’t your man was evil! Just what the hell were you supposed to do when he had to inevitably go back to Miami and leave? Knowing damn well he’d have you ready to crawl in his skin. You knew it was probably just the sensation of the moment and your pussy that had him talking all reckless but you’d believe it..believe every word, cling to everything that came from his mouth, so as long as he kept going. And even match his energy a bit.
“Yeah? Well this your pussy now..show me you know what to do with it.” Curling your tongue around your top lip, narrowing your eyes to fixate your gaze on him. When you stared at him like that, you had no idea what you were waking up..and who you were truly fucking with! He was never the type of man to back down from a challenge and best believe, you’d be tapping on his chest, soaking up these sheets and blowing up his phone if he put his claim on it for real. He wasn’t sure if you were ready for that, but dammit..he certainly was going to try. “It’s like that then, huh? Alright..” Doubling down, he’d fold your legs up a little more, just to push into the halfway point. “Put your hand on your stomach.” At first, the words threw you off a bit and made you furrow your brow. But he didn’t stutter. “You heard me. Put that fucking hand on your stomach, right there..” nodding his head downward, until you followed his directions. Placing your palm flat against the bottom of your tummy.
with his loose strands of hair scraping your forehead, he’d give you the most devious smirk you had ever seen. “Good, now don’t move that shit..not ‘till you feel me in it.” Was this man seriously trying to put it in your guts right now?! Was he trying to make you go crazy? But since you had asked for it, you were a tad bit too late to back out. So you did as he asked and only seconds later, you felt those strokes resume. Pressing that tip through your tight folds, spreading your flesh open with one push right after the next..that nasty, sloppy wet sound that drove him crazy was ringing out in his ear and he couldn’t help but to keep going, speeding up his movements a little bit. You’d begin to crown and loosen up for him to put more in. Meanwhile, your hand was still on the bottom of your stomach, shaking next to your bellybutton ring..he could tell the anticipation was probably even worse than trying to fit him but you’d just keep your back slightly arched as it slowly made its way to the center. “Fuck, that dick feels so good..right there, baby..yes.” “I know it does..you creaming all over my shit.” Pointing out the very blatant sheath of milky white liquid he had drummed up out of you. Eventually, those strokes became a little faster..deeper and much more rhythmic. He was piping you like crazy and fulfilling his promise of putting himself balls deep in the pit of your stomach. That sack slapping heavily against your slippery folds and that pressing bulge beginning to form near your dangling jewelry. Your eyes were fixated on watching it glide in and out, focusing on taking that dick just as he asked. You couldn’t believe that you were actually opening up so nicely; your body was very responsive to this man on the first link. That’s how you knew he was something special..or just some pressure because you could see the obvious mess you had made of him.
“Look up at me?…”
the first words he had uttered outside of his heavy grunts and moans for the past few minutes. This man had his face buried into the crook of your neck, trying to withstand that wonderful sensation and power through but he just had to see that sweet face once more. “…yeah..like that. God, I wish you could see how beautiful you look right now..so pretty taking my dick.” It was right then and there that you’d find yourself melting in his grasp all over again. But once those gazes did reconnect, you didn’t take your eyes or hands off of him. You’d hold him close and merely beg for more. “Eren….oh my God..I love the way you fuck me..’s so good, baby.” “…fuck..you’re so perfect, (y/n). I just wanna stay in it. Oh shit..” How you wish that were feasible. It was blatantly obvious that no man would ever be able to give you dick this good ever again, especially in that moment when he finally reached that designated spot and you felt a slight bump underneath your palm because of his tip pressing to your spot. It was as if he were trying to bruise your cervix, despite not wanting to cause you any pain. The two of you going back and forth, bodies moving in perfect synchronization…creating a beautiful chorus of moans. That was until he began to throb in your heated core and made the split minute decision to halt, following you flooding the sheets and spraying his abs as you released that powerful stream of squirt.
“F-fuck..flip over f’r me, baby. Hurry up.” Impatiently pulling out and repositioning you onto your stomach with that thick ass in the air. Something about missionary was just so raw and intimate and he just knew had he stayed like that a minute longer; staring into those gorgeous eyes, EJ would have nutted in your shit so fast and neither of you could do a thing about it. Instead, he’d hit from the back, where he could control his pace and rhythm a bit more. Besides, he had to see that ass in action! Watching you twerk on Instagram on your stories after a night out or subtly in your routines wasn’t enough, he needed that shit clapping for him in person. Giving it a rough couple of smacks, Eren asked that you arch for him as he placed a palm to the center of your back. But he didn’t have to give much instruction, as you were already reaching underneath and grasping at his cock. “Shit, put it back in yourself..you know what the fuck to do with it, don’t you?” “What you think, daddy?” A cocky grin stretched across your face as you slid him back into your wetness..he knew you were more than capable of handling it now and then some. “I think you’re gonna be a problem, that’s what.” Chuckling before tossing his head backwards and allowing you to take the lead this time. “Glad you know..” causing him to smirk; planting another heavy slap to your asscheek before sliding his thumb into that puckering entrance.
garnering your rhythm, (y/n) began to rock back and forth on his shaft, bouncing against him and making your ass clap. Making a mess all over him immediately. The collision of your loins erupting throughout the room. His hand rested on your hip, pulling you towards him but it was clear you needed no assistance. So eventually, he’d allow you to take the lead and bog yourself down on it. “Fuck me then, baby. Fuck this dick.” Grasping on your ankles whilst throwing it back. Eren nearly lost it when he saw the heaviness of all that ass bouncing and the sheath of creaminess on his cock. “Ooh fuck..EJ..” Meanwhile, you were whimpering while letting those pretty moans. It was apparent after about a few thrusts that he had no plans to help and rather, was going to relax and let you do all by yourself. Rolling his head onto his shoulders and trying not to bust, he’d instead release deep, loud grunts. “That’s right, baby. You want this nut? Imma make you work for it...” from outward appearances, no one would be able to tell that this was your first link and hookup. But the adulterous fun transpiring in that bedroom would come to an abrupt halt..or rather it should have when your phone began to ring. It was Niesha, followed by a series of texts, asking where you were and of course, Eren saw this as a golden opportunity.
“Is that your friend?”
“Mmm…yeah, that’s her.”
suddenly, a coy grin crept across his face and before you could even react, he’d grab your phone and swipe the call button to the right. You couldn’t believe him and how much of a goddamned menace he was! Thank goodness that this was merely a phone call and not FaceTime. But it was too late to hang up now and instead, you’d place it on speaker and answer in a soft tone. “..h-hello?” However, your friend; lively and vibrant as ever, responded in a less than quiet manner. “(Y/N), ‘the hell is you at? We ready to goooo. We all waiting on you.” Her tone almost agitated a bit because they had been ready for a good twenty minutes, waiting on you to come out yet you were obviously preoccupied and had lost track of time. However, before you could explain away a well constructed lie, Eren began thrusting yet again and hitting you with sharp thrusts..one’s causing your voice to crack each time he jolted you. Definitely a dangerous ass man! “Y-yeah. Listen, Nie Nie, I ain’t feeling good. Y’all just go ahead without me, alright. My head hurts so bad.” Hoping that she’d believe your very blatant lie and not question too much further into. However, you knew your best friend and that she was nosy as all hell! Meanwhile, you were still being fed those deep strokes, shaking underneath him. Meanwhile, he was choking and pounding the shit out of you! Grinning at the sight of you trying to maintain a semblance of composure. He could hear the entire conversation and thought it was so cute that he had you lying to your friends just to fuck him and you guys weren’t even remotely dating. “Girl, you okay? I can come—“ “I’m fine, Nie! I swear..listen, I’mma call you back. Love you, bye!” And with that, you’d disconnect the call and discard your phone to the side. Turning around to give him a glaring side eye and grin in the process. “You think you funny, don’t you?” “I’m a bit of a comedian when I want to be.” That snarky mouth of his was going to be the death of you but now that you had bought the two of you a little more time, Eren was going to take full advantage. Tugging you by the back of your neck, he’d gently bring you up and into a kiss, drawing you both closer together. “Now..where were we?” Knowing that you had him uninterrupted now and that neither of you wanted this night to end!
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meanwhile, on the shorefront of Miami Beach..trouble was brewing for the both of you, unbeknownst. Starting with the fact that your manager was currently searching for EJ and leaving no stone unturned doing so. Including knocking on the door of the one person who knew him better than most. Or rather confronting his ass and embarrassing the man where he stood!
“It’s alright, ladies. Get whatever you want, it’s on me.”
in the heart of the twenty story skyscraper residing in the midst in South Beach lies the Velour Lounge, nestled deep within the walls of AMG Headquarters. It was the hangout spot for all talents and workers alike who kept the agency going on a daily basis. Two bars sitting adjacent from one another; stocked full of every type of beverage someone could desire. A faux fire pit surrounded leather seating for guests to sit and relax, along with chic interior and a plethora of entertainment avenues. Truthfully, it was rather desolate during the daytime but it was now occupied by a couple of makeup artists, creatives and famed producer, Armin Artlert, aka ArmInHammer; his notorious tag that had graced the intro to many award winning hip-hop tracks. But he wasn’t alone..it was very seldom that he’d be caught without a beautiful woman latched onto his arm and today was no different. Two gorgeous girls, who were also set on achieving internet fame..dressed in Fashion Nova fits, long lashes and even longer lace fronts, Armin was busy chatting them both up when he’d find himself interrupted by a fourth guest..one far less friendly!
“I just knew I’d find you here..” the voice followed by the sounds of clicking heels ripped through the air and the blonde playboy would jump, only to be greeted by the infamous manager to half of the industry’s hottest right now. Including the man she was on a mission to track down, even if it meant interrupting Armin’s little party. Mikasa, sporting a dress worth more than their rent combined and shoes to match came strutting in, sunglasses tucked behind her ears and pushed atop her head took a seat next to her friend. “M-mikasa..what are you doing here?” “Playing detective, obviously. Since your bull headed best friend is missing in action. Where is he?” Typical behavior of the stoic, steadfast business woman. No time for small talk or chit chat. When she wanted answers, it was in everyone’s best interest to give them to her. Sadly, he had none and he was a bit afraid to tell her so. Taking a sip of the drink he was nursing, he’d turn to the ladies next to him, asking for a bit of privacy. To which they’d get up from their seats and bid them both adieu. “Mika..Mikaaaaa. Sweetheart. I’m not his babysitter..and we both know how Eren is. If he wants to be found, he’ll pop up. If not, then..we’ll see him when he’s ready.” That annoying charm may have managed to quell every other woman in Miami but all it did was bring him one step closer to getting his shit rocked with her. Unbeknownst to him, the reason she was looking so hard was because he bailed on a very important meeting for his album release. Which honestly, wasn’t exactly alarming considering that the jackass moved on his time and his alone, but Armin also knew that he loved music more than anything. So what was so important that he’d not show? And she wasn’t leaving until he gave up the details. Inching closer, with a stern yet snarky expression on her face, Mika laughed before continuing to talk. “He’s with (y/n), isn’t he?” “Wait! How’d you know that?” Armin, whipping his head around with a wide eyed expression. “You just told me.” He had no choice but to confess and come clean now. It didn’t take her to deduce, seeing as how her newest and first client were getting rather close nowadays. She was rather perceptive and nothing slipped past Miss Ackerman. Maybe not in the eye of the public but when she visited him in the studio, she noticed that he couldn’t put that goddamn phone of his down, which was extremely out of character for him. And the contact he couldn’t stop texting? (Y/N). She knew a budding crush when she saw one. However, the two love birds were making her job extremely hard! “Listen..I could care less what they do. But he needs to do his damn job, the one he’s getting paid for. Otherwise, he can find someone else to represent him.” Armin heard her loud and clear but he knew the threat was empty. The two of them constantly bickered and always threatened to drop the other as both artist and manager but there was no way they’d be able to survive without each other. However, Armin knew how hard his best friend had been working and as much as he admired his work ethic, he was glad to know that he was also taking his advice. To go see the girl he had been wanting for a while and act on his desires before another man did it for him. “Trust me, Eren isn’t the type to abandon his responsibilities. Hell would have a snowstorm before he decided to quit music but he probably needs a break. You said it yourself. Besides, I think he likes your new girl a lot and who knows, maybe she’ll be a good influence on him.” Snorting at the response, Mika would laugh and roll her eyes. “Or he’s going to be a terrible influence on her and I’ll have two brats to deal with.” The sheer thought of you spending too much time with him, so much so, that you picked up his annoying attitude made her want to go into early retirement. But instead..reluctantly, she’d take Armin’s advice and let the two of you participate in..whatever you were doing right now. God only knew what and let it go.
at least for now!
“I guess you’re right. If you see him though, tell the bastard to give me a call. I’ll see you later.” “You quit worrying yourself into an early grave, he’ll come around.” But all Mikasa did was dismiss him with the wave of a hand as she exited her seat and eventually, the lounge. He, Armin and everyone else could slack off if they wanted to but she had an empire to run, as one day, she would be the head of this entire operation so the grind could never stop until she was six feet under. If they didn’t want to move? Fine, she’d merely light a fire underneath all of them..and she knew just the way to make it happen. Tapping at her phone screen, Mikasa scrolled until she located a discreet contact, one that she very seldom touched base with, but they came through for her everytime and right now..she needed some help to get things shaking.
“Hey, Annie. Yeah, it’s me..Mikasa. Listen, how would you like some info on your next story?”
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Rip my heart, heal my soul Inside Alphabet
[ Jack the Ripper • modern!Aemond x female ]
Inside Alphabet for Aemond from my series Rip my heart, heal my soul after he met his girl, made for my one year celebration. Very dark content below.
A = Anger (do they get mad and how they react to it)
Before he met his sweet girl, rage, a sense of injustice and aggression accompanied him all the time. In fact, he took it out on his victims, feeling momentary peace, satisfaction and fatigue only when he killed them. However, the euphoric stage was too short-lived for his liking, so he had to quickly find new objects of interest to repeat the whole process.
When a woman was aggressive or rude to him, she could count on him to end her life even if she was not to his taste and he originally had no plan to do anything to her.
After he met her, his frustration and aggression subsided to practically zero. He replaced the adrenaline and endorphin that was secreted in his brain when he was killing with her constant closeness, both physical and spiritual. If he needed to get off, rough, violent sex would suffice, but the kind that wouldn't cause her any real harm. He would never want to hurt her.
B = Behavior (tics, reflexes, things specific to them)
His hands often tremble, usually from excitement or nerves, so he plays with, for example, a glass in his hand, a cloth slung over his shoulder, a cigarette, his jacket, anything to keep his fingers busy. He even feels a tickle in his fingertips when he thinks about killing. Apart from that, he talks to himself a lot under his breath when he thinks about something intensely.
C = Crying (whether they cry & do what when someone else cries)
He actually cries a lot, especially when he lets his consciousness take over for a while and he realises again what he has done to all these women. This knowledge crushes him and he becomes hysterical until she calms him down with her closeness, tenderness and warm words, even though he knows that he does not deserve to be comforted.
D = Despair (who they seek help from first)
When he panics, he calls her first before he does something stupid. He tries not to make any rash decisions before he talks to her. Often her voice alone and her soothing words calm him down and make him realise that the situation is not as bad as he feared.
E = Enemy (who they hate or argue with most often)
He hated women who reminded him of the girls who teased and mocked him in high school. There were several, but the worst was one of them, a dark-haired, petite, sweet girl who only pretended to be nice.
She flirted with a lot of boys, cheating on them, and made fun of him, saying that if he was desperate, she could take his virginity because he might never get the chance to make love to a woman with that appearance.
These words left a mark on him, completely killing his already low self-esteem. He began to exercise, changed his style of dress and conversation, and when he returned to school after the summer holidays, he found that she didn't recognise him until she saw his scar up close.
He felt a sense of power over her and satisfaction at the thought that she was now the one who followed him around and begged for his attention, the more he was secretive and withdrawn, the more he teased her, the more she was in love with him.
She was very insistent that they go to bed together, and when they finally did, she was not happy with how inexperienced he was. Her remarks and the look on her face full of disappointment enraged him so much that he strangled her with the string she used to tie her dress around her waist.
When she stopped moving he was terrified and tried to wake her up, however, in addition to the fear he also felt an immense satisfaction that this dumb bitch was no longer laughing.
She had mocked him and was now lying there with a blank stare, a fucking slut who deserved everything that had happened to her.
He decided afterwards that he wished he'd caused her more pain before he killed her, that he had said all those things to her that had been pressing to his lips.
His girlfriend reminded him a lot of her in some ways, so he had originally considered her the perfect target for his next victim, believing that she was simply faking it.
He tried to catch her in a lie, gossip or words she would normally be ashamed of if she didn't trust him, but his plan backfired a tad because he fell in love with her instead.
F = Friends (do they have and who they consider friends)
She is his only real friend.
G = Gifts (whether they like gifts and give them themselves)
He loves to make his sweet girl little presents, he knows what kind of buns she likes to eat so he always buys her fresh ones after work so she can eat them for dinner and in the morning before class, he buys her books, notebooks and anything he thinks she will find useful and enjoy, always excitedly waiting for her reaction.
When he gets gifts from her, when she turns out to have remembered his birthday or anniversary, he feels happy, ashamed and remorseful at the same time, thinking that after all he has done he does not deserve any presents, much less from her.
H = Hobby (what they do for pleasure in their free time)
Reading.
I = Idol (their role model)
In fact, she is his role model. Every day he watches her and learns from her how to deal with everyday problems and adversities in a calm and composed manner, at the same time filled with hope and reason. She is the one he counsels when he doesn't know how to solve his problem, not wanting to use violence any more, and he usually gets an answer from her that satisfies him and, in his mind, makes sense.
J = Jokes (how they react to jokes and if they laugh)
No joking. He doesn't even know how to do it. He laughs sometimes when she does something silly.
K = Kids (do they want to have them)
Some part of him would like to have a family, but he would be afraid that his children would be like him. He would also be afraid that he would then have to share his beloved, that a child would take her away from him to some extent. He knows that he is perhaps too possessive for that and would rather not risk it.
However, he would never force her to terminate the pregnancy if she decided that she wanted to keep the child. He would then try to deal with it somehow, but it would be very difficult for him because of what would be going on in his head.
L = Love (anything to do with falling in love)
Before he met her, he did not believe in love or that he was capable of it. He believed that he could not be loved and that women who bestow affection on him simply want to go to bed with him and fall in love with someone they have made up themselves, in some imagined version of him, rather than the monster he really was.
When he met her, however, it became apparent that something was beginning to happen inside him. He felt warmth at the sight of her as she crossed the door of the café, the rapid beating of his heart and the trembling of his hands as he handed her an order and exchanged a few words with her, the things he had learned about her and the articles she had written made some part of him want to get to know her instead of trying to drag her to bed, and once that happened he was unable to hurt her.
M = Manners (how they behave in formal situations)
He is cold and withdrawn. He hates talking to strangers and dies when he has to call the doctor or get anything done at the office. He begs her to do it for him, but she refuses, saying that he has to deal with such things on his own. He literally dies then, but he tries, for her. To make her proud of him.
N = Nightmare (their worst nightmare)
He often dreams that he wakes up next to her and she is lying beside him with empty eye sockets, covered in blood, dead. He doesn't remember anything, he can't believe that he did it, but he also sees traces of blood on his hands. He then wakes up, for real this time, and grabs her, begging her to say something, and she looks at him terrified, snapped out of a deep sleep, asking him if he's been having nightmares again.
Usually then he starts crying in relief, unable to even answer her question, sobbing hugged to her chest, and she embraces him and strokes his hair, whispering that everything is okay.
He dies of fear when she goes off somewhere alone and doesn't respond to his messages for too long. He's ready to quit mid-shift, get straight into the car and drive to wherever she is, just to make sure she's okay. He drives her crazy with his overprotectiveness.
He would be devastated if she broke up with him. He would be afraid he would do something to her in an act of desperation or go back to murdering again.
O = Origin (their childhood)
He grew up in a family where money was always in short supply. His father died when he was very young and his mother worked several shifts to support him and his siblings. When the terrible accident happened to him and he lost his eye, his mother could not afford the expensive treatment, so his scar did not heal as well as it could have.
For a long time he wore the cheapest glass eye, which looked awful and made other children afraid of him. It wasn't until he was in high school that he managed to get a refund from the country for a better one, one that is almost no different from a normal one.
P = Proximity (what they are like when they are intimate)
Before her, he associated proximity only with animalistic closeness and aggression, so he did not see it as anything pleasant or desirable.
Only when he met his girlfriend did he desire this closeness in a different way, wanting simply to touch her, feel her and experience fulfilment with her. It turned out that her touch, full of respect, warmth and care even calmed him down, and sex with her became his favourite way to relax.
Q = Quiz (whether they like to play and how)
He enjoys playing chess or other logic games.
R = Routine (do they have a daily routine and what is it)
He always sets himself a routine for the day, which he sticks to and which his girlfriend knows he hates when someone disorganises it for him. They have agreed that they will always set all changes in advance and try not to surprise each other with anything unless something happens that neither of them had control over.
He didn't resent her when she became unwell and he had to take her to the doctor even though he should have been at work, it is obvious that her and his wellbeing are of utmost importance to him.
S = Safety (whether and where they feel safe)
He only feels safe when he sleeps cuddled up against her breasts in their bed, making sure he has locked the door on both locks beforehand.
T = Touch (who they allow to touch and how)
Only she can touch him. He loves her hands, the way she touches his bare skin with them, his chest, his cheeks, his shoulders, when she kisses him, or when she comes close and embraces him from behind at the waist.
In the case of any other person, he tenses up all over and pulls away, furious, thinking that this is a right meant only for the woman he loves. When any strange woman touches him he bursts into a rage, he then snorts for air and counts to thirty, waiting for the wave of anger to pass away.
U = Unforgivable (things they would not forgive)
Lying.
He would never forgive her if she lied to him, even if it was some small thing. He would rather she say she doesn't know something or isn't sure than say something that would later turn out not to be true. He often checks what she says with the facts and is relieved every time her words are confirmed. He trusts her, but at the same time he is still afraid that she will start hiding something from him.
Betrayal.
I don't even have to write what he would do then. He would kill her first and then himself.
V = Vengeance (whether they are vengeful and how)
He is very vindictive and only her pleas and requests make him let strangers off the hook for certain things. He is very easily annoyed or offended and often winning his forgiveness is impossible.
W = Warderobe (what they wear, what style they have)
He dresses simply but elegantly. He loves fitted, dark jumpers and turtlenecks worn with black trousers.
Y = Yearning (whether they yearn and how they express it)
He dies of longing when she goes out somewhere alone with her friends. He lets her do it because he knows she needs it, but he wants to cry then. He is emotionally unstable and sees the very worst scenarios in his mind − above all that something will happen to her.
He constantly craves her, when she is tired several days in a row he starts to worry that she doesn't love him anymore, that he has done something wrong. Usually when she comes back to strength she shows him how wrong he was and then he feels that wonderful, overpowering relief again, which passes every time he has to separate from her again.
His dream would be to die lying in bed with her, cuddled up against her naked body, with his manhood deep inside her, his nose filled with her scent, listening to her calm breathing.
Z = Zone (their comfort zone)
He feels comfort when he is with her in their flat. This is where he's calm and composed and does not feel any frustration or anger.
When he goes outside and has contact with strangers he feels threatened, even more so when she is next to him and he has to worry about her too.
He then holds her hand in his to make sure he doesn't lose her somewhere among the crowds, watching the people around them like a guard, protecting her in his mind from other people like him.
#aemond headcanon#aemond headcanons#dark aemond headcanons#dark aemond#dark aemond targaryen#dark aemond x reader#dark aemond smut#dark aemond angst#aemond smut#aemond angst#modern aemond#modern aemond smut#modern aemond angst#aemond targaryen smut#aemond fanfiction#aemond targaryen#aemond x oc#hotd aemond#prince aemond targaryen#aemond targaryen x you#aemond fic#aemond one eye#prince aemond#aemond x original female character#aemond x original character#aemond x female#aemond fanfic#hotd fanfiction#hotd fic#hotd fanfic
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I’ve been thinking about the similarities and differences between Skybound and Seabound lately, especially in their endings. The strengths/drawbacks of each, plus what each ending says about Nya and Jay’s characters.
In both seasons, Nya and Jay are forced to make really shitty decisions. In Skybound, Jay has to choose between making a wish to save Nya, or making a wish to stop Nadakhan and save Ninjago. However, rather than choosing either of those options, Jay (albeit accidentally) opts for the Secret Third Thing™ — wishing to go back in time so that none of this ever happened lol.
And while you could read this as an instance of Jays character shining through (he cares so much about Nya, he refuses to accept a future without her), I think it’s fair to say that this ending fell flat for a lot of people. It made the entire rest of the season pointless, it felt like a total cop out, you get the idea. These weakness only get more clear when you look at it in comparison with Seabound’s ending.
In Seabound, Nya has to choose between sacrificing herself to save Ninjago, or, I guess, not doing that and watching Ninjago fall. The key difference here is that there’s no Secret Third Thing™ for Nya to fall back on. This idea is made very explicit throughout the season: sometimes there are no good choices, “that’s the way the cookie crumbles” and all that. She resists this notion at first, but ultimately, she makes that hard decision. She makes the choice to sacrifice herself.
Contrast this with Jay, who basically… doesn’t make a choice at all? He just ~follows his heart~ and then… gets to have his cake and eat it too????
And it’s frustrating because there’s something interesting here, right? We get to see the differences between Jay and Nya when it comes to making those kinds of tough choices, and what that says about them as people. Push comes to shove, Nya will do what it takes to protect the world at large. She matures and grows from where she was at the beginning of the season, and the finale reflects that. On the other hand, Jay is the type for guy who will fight tooth and nail until he gets a happy ending. It’s pretty simple-minded, and it’s not something he really gets challenged on in a meaningful way, but it’s an appealing character trait in its own right.
The contrast between these two traits is pretty cool and interesting in my opinion!! Especially when you take into account that it’s Nya’s life on the line in both instances!!!! But then you gotta contend with the fact that Skybound’s ending is kinda…. mid as fuck? And it’s just like??? We were so close yknow soooooo close like this close, but no it’s all weird and stupid now I guess.
So it’s like TLDR: Jay and Nya are super interesting together, but Skybound is so damn weird that it makes the whole thing difficult.
#I kinda fell apart at the end there but hopefully u understand what I mean#ninjago#lego ninjago#nya ninjago#jay ninjago#ninjago skybound#ninjago seabound
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"BDSM is recreating abusive sexual assault where a man beats and rapes a woman! it's bad!"
you're assuming that:
1) bdsm and kink isn't always consentual
kink is always ALWAYS consentual. just like any form of vanilla sex. in fact, kink is often more safe than vanilla sex as it is almost always planned well in advance and all parties involved know exactly what's gonna happen and when and how
2) kink is only between 1 man and 1 woman, and the man is always the dom
what the fuck is that homophobic xian bullshit?! fuck off with that crap. m/f maledom kink is like less than 2% of all kink relationships. kink is incredibly queer and diverse, mainly because the kink communities and the adult queer communities are one in the same.
3) kink always involves pain
I mean, sure it CAN involve pain. but that's just a very small subsection of kink. kink includes all sex that isn't what is considered normal. stupid people, mainly conservative, will call anything sex they don't like a deviance, and whether you like it or not, they will be considered kink by most people. so rather than trying to fight it, you might as well embrace it. all queer sex is kink. all blow jobs are kink. all anal is kink. all sex positions that aren't exclusively male on top cisgender heterosexual missionary position is kink.
4) women aren't capable of making their own choices
if you think that a woman cannot choose how she wants to have sex, then you aren't a feminist. if you think you can choose for her, then you're the abusive one, not the theoretical man who beats her during sex.
I am perfectly capable of making my own decisions. I can choose exactly how I want to have sex. I'm a dyke, so I'm not particularly interested in sex with men. but the way I have sex is between me and my partners. not you. you don't fucking control me. you don't get to decide what I can and can't do with my own body. you're no better than a sexist misogynistic conservative man. you think all sex is abusive because you're a puritanical controlling abusive piece of shit who thinks your opinion is more important than everyone else's, and that you are the sole authority on what women can and can't do. and you also probably watch way too much porn, which is a perversion and distortion of actual sex and in no way reflects reality. stop calling yourself a feminist, you stupid freaks. get a life, and stay out of my bedroom
#dostxt#I would have said 'stay out of my dungeon'#but that probably would have been a bit too much#would explode their poor little sex purist minds#also calling it my dungeon would imply that I own it or that I'm the domme
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One underdiscussed aspect of the bone-deep lack of mutual understanding during the nieyao stairs scene is that Nie Mingjue doesn't know - and can't know - what he's actually asking of Jin Guangyao. Not because he doesn't understand how his father treats him, or how tenuous his position is. But because he has no clue Xue Yang is a demonic cultivator.
Remember: Nie Mingjue is still alive, which means the position of chief cultivator doesn't exist yet and Jin Guangshan is facing heavy pushback for suggesting it. Most of that is coming from a fear that the Jin will try to become the next Wen. So having an outer disciple murder an entire clan and then not even punish him properly? This is a collosally bad move politically! You might as well be waving a red flag around yelling "I want to kill other sects with impunity!" There's a reason that years in the future, the moment Jin Guangyao becomes acting sect leader, he will immediately order Xue Yang's death (He doesn't actually die, either by accident or on purpose on jgy's part. But the point is that as far as the public is concerned he had Xue Yang executed.)
From Nie Mingjue's perspective, Jin Guangshan just shot himself in the foot politically for some random outer disciple. It's morally wrong, but it's also incredibly fucking stupid. In his eyes, he is asking Jin Guangyao to do the glaringly obvious right thing, even when exclusively looking at the Jins' self-interest. The thing that surely everyone else in the Jin also wants Jin Guangshan to do! Jin Guangyao can say that he has no influence on his father all he wants, but it is obvious how much work he does and so, as much as his father may not respect him, he clearly at least trusts Jin Guangyao's competence. Nie Mingjue has already tried shouting directly at Jin Guangshan during the trial and it seemed to work, but then Jin Guangshan went back on his decision like a complete idiot. So now Nie Mingjue is asking the guy who is famous for being good at rhetoric and convincing people to convince his donkey of a father to do the obviously correct thing with minimal downsides because again, to Nie Mingjue, this is all about some random outer disciple. It makes sense to ask this! It's a pretty reasonable request! Jin Guangshan can't possibly care that much.
Except of course he does. Because Xue Yang isn't some random outer disciple. He's the only good shot Jin Guangshan has at recreating the yin tiger tally. And Jin Guangshan reaaaaaally wants the yin tiger tally. So bad that he is fully willing to tank an ungodly amount of political goodwill to get it. Jin Guangyao is fully aware that not only will Jin Guangshan never kill Xue Yang, he isn't planning on keeping him locked up either. In fact, after Nie Mingjue is dead, he'll free Xue Yang and strongarm Chang Ping into denying the guilt of his family's murderer. Jin Guangshan cares a lot about keeping Xue Yang in his employ.
And Jin Guangyao knows this. But he can't tell Nie Mingjue that! Because then he'd have to admit they've been doing demonic cultivation. That the fucking ghost geneal is in their basement. That, oopsie, they actually also killed a whole other entire clan just a while ago after framing their sect leader for an assasination attempt and then used their bodies as fodder to make more fierce corpses. You know, in case one mass murder wasn't enough!
So obviously he's not gonna say that. Which means Nie Mingjue has no idea what he's demanding from Jin Guangyao, and therefore no idea why he absolutely can't fullfill that request.
I get why it's not mentioned very often because there are a lot of other problems which are both more obvious and more fun to talk about. (Who doesn't love a little overcomplicated trolley problem?) But I think it adds just another layer to the chasm between them in this scene. They're not just disagreeing, they're having completely different conversations.
#mdzs#mdzs meta#obviously there are like 50 other issues plus saber disease packed on top of this#which is what makes it go so catastrophically wrong#but this is one aspect of that i don't see mentioned very often#nie mingjue#jin guangyao#meng yao#i call nmj calling for xy's head 'reasonable' here. obviously it only is if you believe in the death penalty which i don't#but everyone in mdzs does so... yeah if xue yang really was just a random disciple this'd be a petty reasonable thing to ask#but he isn't except jgy can't EXPLAIN that so they're stuck
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bestie can I request toto with a black!femreader? he’s just so daddy😩that video of him surfing?! *debby Ryan hair tuck* got me all in my Toto feels😪
Idiot: Toto Wolff x Black!Reader
TW: Cursing, Slapping (non abusive!)
The morning had just started as the sun had risen, lighting up the bedroom that belongs to the Wolff family, Y/n and Toto. Y/n was never one to be excited about mornings as she would rather sleep through the morning and work through the evening into the night; however she knew that staying in wouldn’t get the chores and multiple emails waiting for replies done so she dragged herself up and into the bathroom for a shower.
Upon her return from getting dressed and walking around the house to collect the things she needed, Y/n noticed that her husband who should’ve been at home with her wasn’t in the house yet he left his phone on the counter in the kitchen. Dropping everything in the living room, she went out to the sides of the house, to the garden in the front and had gotten no sight of her husband, she made her way around to the back thinking that he might’ve been relaxing at the poolside or even on a conference call with the team, but dear Lord was she so wrong.
Y/n walked out to find her significant other down at the sea, surfing his heart away with the widest grin mixed with concentration on his face. She was so mad at him yet did nothing as she watched him endanger himself even worse than before as his eyes caught hers and after a couple of minutes, his surf was over and he was on his way to get cleaned up.
Returning to the house walking with his crutches, Toto wasn’t surprised when he was met in the living room by his infuriated wife who was glaring at him from across the room. “Hey schatz, did you sleep good?” He asked trying to distract her from being upset. “Yes I did in fact sleep good. Thanks for asking, but you know what didn’t feel good? The fact that my husband seems to be out to give me a fucking heart attack by doing some of the dumbest shit I’ve ever witnessed on this planet called Earth. Why the hell would you go surfing while injured?! First you went bike riding, now you’ve got a broken arm and leg-mind you this isn’t the first time! Your forearm and leg are in braces for Christ’s sake! If you fell into the water your ass wouldn’t be able to fucking swim! What is wrong with you?! Why do you keep trying to kill me before my time?! I’m way much younger than you but it seems you want me to leave this world before you, huh?!” Y/n scolded her husband as she spanked him on his good arm with her hands.
“Schatz I’m sorry. I really didn’t think your mind would go that far, I thought of it as a harmless morning surf” Toto explained but it fell on deaf ears to his wife who noticed him wincing everyone he moved an injured body part but chose to keep silent. “You see, this is why women live longer than men cause y’all just jump into anything without weighing the pro and cons. You literally have surgery in a few weeks and it’s like you want to make your injuries worse than better so guess what, maybe I’ll call and have them cancel the surgeries, yeah?” Y/n replied sarcastically as he sat down on the couch to rest while Y/n went to start the laundry.
An hour and a half later, Y/n was sat on one end of the couch with her laptop in hand typing away, while Toto sat at the other end obviously now feeling the painful effect of his stupidity from earlier. “Y/n/n my leg hurts!” He whined as Y/n only looked at him briefly before shaking her head and refocusing on her task. “Y/n I know you heard me, please help me. My arm and my leg are hurting! The pain sticks!” He cries this time as tears poured from his eyes, showing that he very well regretted his past decision.
“I’m sorry Mr.I can do anything no matter my condition, I am unable to assist at this time as I’m on my lunch break” Y/n sassed at him. She allowed him to wallow in regret for a couple more minutes before she got up to get his medications and the necessary items to help with the pain. “Here, take a bite of this. Swallow the pills, then you finish eating it.” Y/n instructed as she iced and elevated her husband’s swelling leg. Toto did as instructed and rested his head after everything was done while he waited for the pain to subside.
After a while the pain had been fully gone and Y/n was now resting next to him as they watched some Tom and Jerry to occupy their time. “Thank you schatz for your help, your patience, your love and your kindness. I know that I am a lot of work but you manage me so well.” Toto expressed as his wife listened calmly on the verge of sleep. “You’re welcome sweetheart. I just hope that you’ve learnt your lesson and that something like this will not happen again?” She inquired from her husband “Of course not darling, I promise to stress you a little less. I love you” he giggled out his answer “I love you too you idiot” Y/n joined his giggle in reply while peacefully falling asleep, knowing that no matter what he promised, she would still be getting regular heart attacks in the future all because of her love for him.
#toto wolff#toto wolff angst#toto wolff imagine#toto wolff x y/n#toto wolff x oc#toto wolff x reader#toto wolff x you#toto wolff fanfic#toto wolff fluff
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change in a heartbeat ~ billy butcher;the boys
word count: 2523
request?: no
description: billy butcher is many things, namely an idiot, and he showcases that best after he finds out his girlfriend is pregnant
pairing: billy butcher x female!reader
warnings: swearing, angsty angst, mentions of abortions, use of y/n, pregnancy stuff, butcher being an idiot which like what else is new y’know?
masterlist (one, two, three)
I knew I was pregnant before the test came back positive. I never believed when women said that because it just seemed improbable, but I definitely knew. Besides noticing I had missed my period, I just felt off in a way I couldn’t describe. I guess I had to know, otherwise I wouldn’t have taken the test. And there it was, the two lines confirming my suspicions.
I always thought I’d be scared to get a positive result on a pregnancy test. I never thought I was ready to have a kid. But in that moment, I was overcome with joy. Sure, the thought of pregnancy and childbirth was still terrifying, but I was actually excited about having a baby; I was happy to be carrying Billy’s baby.
I knew he was coming over the day I took the pregnancy test. I had timed it so I could tell him the second he walked through the door. There was no way I would’ve been able to keep this to myself for long, and I knew it was something I had to tell him in person. The second I heard him opening the front door to my place, I was throwing myself into his arms, nearly knocking him over.
“Alright, what’s this then?” Billy chuckled.
“I have some news,” I told him. “Very good news, I think.”
“What is it then, love?”
I pulled the pregnancy test from my back pocket and presented it to Billy. I watched as his eyes looked over the plastic stick. My excitement started to turn to dread as I watched the amused look on Billy’s face disappear.
“Is this a bloody joke?” he asked.
I flinched at his harsh tone. That definitely was not the reaction I was expecting. “No, it’s real. I have another one in the bathroom if you want to watch me use it as proof.”
I was trying to make a joke to lighten the mood, but Billy’s face didn’t change.
“This is good news?” he asked, holding up the pregnancy test.
“It...is?” I definitely didn’t sound as certain as I had felt moments ago. “I thought so anyways. I thought...I thought you’d be happy, too.”
“Why the fuck would I be happy about a baby I don’t fucking want?”
His words cut through my chest like a knife. I took a step away from Billy. I felt tears welling in my eyes, but I tried to hold them back.
“Maybe I thought you loved me enough to want to have a child with me,” I countered.
Billy scoffed. “Oh, come off it (Y/N). This isn’t about how much I love ya. It’s about the fact that I don’t want kids, no matter who they’re with.”
“Well, I’m pregnant and it’s yours. So what are we going to do about this?”
I was hoping he’d say that I was right and he wanted our baby. I wanted him to apologize, and maybe even drop to his knees and kiss my belly to be a bit cliche. I wanted him to just accept this baby, that was it.
Instead, he asked, “Would you get an abortion?”
The dam finally broke and tears started to run down my cheeks. I snatched the pregnancy test back from Billy and held it so tightly that my nails and the plastic were digging into the palm of my hand.
“I think you should leave,” I told him, trying hard to keep my voice even.
“(Y/N) - ”
“No,” I cut him off. “You’ve made your decision and I’ve made mine. I want you out of my fucking house, now.”
“If you are going to get an abortion, I want to come with you.”
I shook my head. “I’d rather you not. In fact, I’d rather not see you at all.”
Billy nodded. I saw some hurt on his face, and I was glad I did. I hoped my words hurt him just as bad as his hurt me. Without another word, Billy went back out the door. Once it closed behind him, I sunk to the floor and let myself sob. I realized I was still holding the pregnancy test, so I tossed it as far away from me as I could.
Stupid fucking piece of plastic.
~~~~~~
Butcher’s POV
I looked down at my phone for the fifth time in about 20 minutes. I don’t know why I was still hoping to hear from (Y/N) after our last encounter. It had been days, nearly a week, and neither of us had spoken to the other. Not that I expected (Y/N) to be the one to break the silence.
“You still with us, Butcher?” MM asked. To say he sounded frustrated would be an understatement. I couldn’t blame him since this was the third or fourth time I had completely zoned out while he was explaining our plan.
“Yeah,” I lied.
They all knew it was a lie, but they weren’t going to call me out on it at this point.
MM started talking again, but it immediately became background noise to me. My hand inched closer to my phone again. I couldn’t stop myself. Even knowing it had been mere seconds since I checked last, I had to see if there was any messages.
There wasn’t.
“Butcher!”
“Fuck off, mate!” I snapped back. “Jesus Christ, can’t a man just check his phone?!”
They were all looking at me and it pissed me off. I wanted to punch all of them in their stupid fucking faces - except maybe Kimiko. She’d probably rip my arm off before I even touched her.
“What’s going on, man?” Hughie asked. “You’ve been irritable for days now.”
Damn that kid for being so perceptive, and for caring enough to ask.
“It’s nothing.”
“Is it about (Y/N)?” Hughie asked. “You haven’t mentioned her or brought her around in days.”
“I said it’s fuckin’ nothing!”
They all shared a look. MM asked, “What happened, man? Is she okay?”
My hands curled into fists. I took a deep breath in to try and calm myself. I may as well be honest with them if I was going to be snapping at them. “She’s pregnant.”
They were silent. Unsure looks crossed their faces, but once again, Hughie was the first to speak, “That’s...great. Isn’t it?”
“It would’ve been if I hadn’t told her to get rid of the baby.”
A chorus of “what?!”s rang out through the room.
“I thought you loved (Y/N), no?” Frenchie asked. “Would that not mean you should be happy that she is having your baby?”
“It is your baby...right?” Hughie added.
I restrained myself from snapping at him. Given Becca’s circumstances, it wasn’t a bad question. “Yes, it is, but this life I lead is not one for a baby. You should know that best, MM.”
“It’s hard to do what we do and have a kid, sure,” MM agreed. “I worry about Janine every second I’m not with her, but that’s how I was before we started chasing Supes. That’s called parenting, Butcher.”
“This is different, and you know it.”
MM raised an eyebrow at me. Christ, I hated that fucking face; like he could see right through into my head and read my every thought. I hated the lot of them for knowing so much. For caring. Everything was easier when I didn’t have so many people who were actually level headed and caring.
“Butcher, I say this with the utmost respect: you are a stupid motherfucker,” MM said. “I know what your concerns are, and I’m not saying that they’re not valid, but if you are going to let a woman like (Y/N) get away over your own worries without talking to her - and I know you haven’t told her the truth because I know you - then you are the dumbest motherfucker that I know.”
He was right and I knew that. It may be too late, but I had to talk to (Y/N) and tell her the truth. If she still decided we were over and she didn’t want to keep the baby, then I’d respect her decision. I just needed to talk to her at least.
I was moving towards the door before I really realized it. Frenchie called after me, “Where are you going?”
“To talk to (Y/N),” I responded.
“But the plan!”
I was out the door before Frenchie finished his sentence.
~~~~~~
(Y/N)’s POV
I wasn’t expecting anyone when a knock came at my door. Most people wouldn’t get overly paranoid about a random knock, but most people didn’t deal with psychopathic Supes. I didn’t make a move at first. Realistically, it it were Homelander, he wouldn’t knock. He’d break into my house and laser me dead before I even knew what was happening. That didn’t stop me from sitting completely still, trying to calm my pounding heart.
Another knock came and I reluctantly stood. I had a bat next to my door in case of intruders. My hand closed around the bad as I looked through the peep hole to see who it was.
To my surprise, Billy Butcher was stood at the other side of my door.
I debated on not opening it and letting him stand there until he gave up and left. But then he said, “I know you’re there, (Y/N). Just open the door.”
Reluctantly, I did as he said, but I didn’t take my hand off of the bat.
“I’m an idiot,” he said before I could speak. “I should’ve talked about my concerns when you told me you were pregnant, but instead I let myself get freaked out and say shit I didn’t mean. I know an apology isn’t enough, but I am so, so sorry, (Y/N).”
“What are you so concerned about?” I asked. I wanted to know his true feelings before I slammed the door in his face. It might be the closure I needed before I finally let go of this relationship.
“Can I come in so we can talk?”
I raised an eyebrow. “You’re lucky I’m letting you talk period. Don’t push your luck, Butcher.”
He nodded. “Alright, fair enough. I’m terrified of turning out like my old man.”
And just like that, nine words caused me to let down every guard I had put up the second I saw him through the peep hole. He didn’t have to say anything else, because that was enough to make me understand. But he went on anyways, “My father was a terrible fucking man, and my mum let him be terrible to me and to Lenny. I had no other older man to help me, to look up to. Lenny had me, and what did I do but go and leave him alone with that monster. And if I had no one else to take after but my dad, then how can I not turn out like him with my own kid? It’s never something I had to worry about when I was married to Becca, because I didn’t have that same level of anger and hatred as I do now after everything that’s happened to me because of those fucking Supes.”
Of course he was worried because of his dad. I should’ve realized that the second he started freaking out after seeing the pregnancy test. It didn’t make his reaction or his suggestion right by any means, but maybe if I had realized before then I could’ve gotten him to actually talk to me instead of kicking him out of my house.
But he wasn’t done. “And what’s to say that Homelander doesn’t do something to you and the kid once he realizes you’re pregnant? I took his son from him once, what’s to stop him from taking mine? I can’t guarantee you or the baby would be protected all the time, and I can’t lose someone else that I love to that fuckin’ cunt.”
I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t thought about that for a split second when I took the pregnancy test at first. Homelander had no morals. He wasn’t above hurting a child, or a pregnant woman, just to hurt Billy. But Billy and I had been together for over a year now and nothing had happened to me yet. I trusted him to protect me, and I trusted everything he had taught me to protect myself.
“I was a fucking idiot for everything I said before,” Billy said. “I wouldn’t want you to get rid of our baby, (Y/N). I don’t have a lot of good things in my life lately, but you are one of the best things. This baby would be one of the best things.”
I could feel myself getting choked up again. I cleared my throat and asked, “And what if I already got rid of it?”
“Then I’ll put another one in ya.”
I couldn’t stop the laugh that escaped my lips. It was the most Billy response he could’ve given.
I finally let go of the back and stepped aside. I motioned for him to come inside and he did without hesitation. I led him to the living room where I had just been sat before he showed up. I picked up my phone from the couch and opened it to play him the recording I had been listening to on repeat for days.
His brows furrowed together. “What is that?”
“It’s our baby’s heartbeat,” I explained. “When you go for an abortion, if you’re far enough along they’ll sometimes have you listen to the heartbeat before you make your decision. At first it just sounded like a bunch of noises to me, but when it kicked in that it was the heartbeat of my...our baby...I just couldn’t do it.”
When his eyes met mine, I saw that they were shiny with tears forming. I couldn’t remember ever seeing Billy Butcher cry in all the time I had known him.
“So...you’re still...?”
I nodded. “There’s still a bun in this oven.”
He had his hands on his face and was pulling me to him before the words were fully out of my mouth. His pressed his lips against mine. I balled his Hawaiian shirt in my fists and held him close to me. Everything felt right again. I finally felt whole for the first time in nearly a week.
“I’m so sorry, love,” he said when he pulled away. “I promise you, I will be here for you and for our baby. Every step of the way, I promise.”
“I believe you,” I said. “And I promise you that you will not be like your dad. I know you won’t. I trust you and I believe in you.”
He kissed me again before dropping to his knees in front of me. He pulled my shirt up enough to show my belly and pressed a kiss against the sensitive skin, tickling it a little bit with his beard.
“I’m going to protect you, kid,” he said. “I won’t let a soul hurt you. That’s a promise.”
#billy butcher#billy butcher imagine#billy butcher x reader#billy butcher angst#karl urban imagine#karl urban x reader#karl urban#karl urban angst#the boys#the boys imagine#one shot#imagine#angst#fanfiction#fanfic#fandom
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Hi darling I enjoyed your kink post and I’d like to ask for Mark lee type of bf, thank you
mark lee as a boyfriend…
the soft side:
was super shy around u at first and hesitated to initiate any skinship, but as u two got closer he’d be the type to always have one arm around your shoulders and mess your hair up by playing with it all the time
even though he’s pretty chill and rather quiet around strangers, he won’t hesitate to do small things for you like order for you
but he’s also really protective of you so if anyone messes with you he will 100% tell them to fuck off
mark lee hates to see you upset, so he does absolutely anything he can to see your pretty smile
he loves to buy stupid knick knacks at stores that remind him of you
and he also always picks up your favorite snacks whenever he’s at the grocery store
i wouldn’t call him a romantic person, but he always has you on his mind and enjoys doing small things that bring you joy
this boy loves to make you laugh
you never tell him when his jokes are shitty though because he laughs so hard at them it’s contagious and his laugh is your favorite sound in the world
when he makes you laugh along with him it’s like winning a gold medal in his mind; he takes pride and joy in the fact that he’s the one that gets the pleasure to see you so happy and comfortable
mark loves to be your big spoon when the two of you cuddle, even if he’s smaller than you he doesn’t care
he wants to be the one that makes you feel secure in his arms - it’s not much of a possessive thing, more so he just loves the feeling of wrapping his arms around you and making you warm
this is how the two of you fall asleep the easiest.
he loves to call you “babe” or “baby” and you call him the same
however if you baby him too much he might pout a little (even though he secretly enjoys it) - he loves being your baby boy
mark talks about you ALLLLL the time, this guy does not shut up about you
it gets so bad that when he’s not around you, his friends can sense his sadness and suggest he go to you instead of stay there with them
you and mark are each other’s other half - he’s your sun and you’re his moon
he loves it when you wear his clothes (specifically his hoodies)
it’s become such a habit of yours that you often playfully argue over who owns what
sometimes you both plan on wearing the same thing on the same day - spoiler alert, mark gives in and always lets you wear it instead of him
besides, he thinks anything looks better on you anyway.
a relationship with mark is really easygoing and fun - you two always feel relaxed around each other and very rarely argue - you will eventually get so used to each other you barely need words to communicate
the not-so-soft side (nsfw/18+):
as i’ve mentioned previously, i think mark lee is 100% a switch when it comes to sex
he’s not insanely kinky since your relationship is very chill
it’s usually your decision who should dom when you have sex: 50/50 chance it’s you, same odds it’s mark
the sex is relatively soft and quick, but god mark knows what he’s doing no matter the position or role he’s in
this guy fucks so hard
loves it when you tug on his hair and beg or demand for more from him
he usually always gives you what you want
makes you cum so many times
but he doesn’t dare to edge you
both of you love oral sex - it’s just become a huge part of your relationship
he loves to taste you and to him, sex isn’t sex without going down on you first thing
your moans are his encouragement and he strives to always make you moan as loud as possible
he always leaves cute lil hickies between your thighs <3
runs his hands all over your body and whispers such lovely praises
he just wished you could see yourself how he sees you: the most beautiful person in the world
even if he insists he doesn’t want it, you beg him to let you suck him off or fuck your throat
he loses himself at the sight of you begging and pleading, he fears he might cum in his pants
sucks in his breaths and bites his lip as you give him head while you’re on your bruised knees
you turn him on so so much
your big eyes looking up at him always bring him to heaven
he’s so desperate for more, and the two of you spend the rest of the night doing whatever you want
whether that means fucking until dawn or falling asleep in the tight embrace of mark lee’s arms: you decide!
and that’s what i think it’s like to have mark as a bf!!!
if you enjoyed reading this pls don’t hesitate to send me more asks about any nct member! i always need inspiration <3
#nct au#nct fanfic#nct 127 smut#nct smut#mark lee smut#nct mark smut#mark lee x reader#nct dream smut#nct dream fanfic#nct imagines
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