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#but that's not exclusive to where i live i think most places in the us rlly i wouldnt…
pyjamac · 2 years
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one thing i will never understand is pride themed clothing. like where do you live. where do you live where you’re not afraid. i live in a moderately liberal small city but i still wouldn’t wear something like that.
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mariacallous · 1 year
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Last year, the lead singer of The 1975, Matt Healy, managed to offend a whole lot of Gaelgoirí (Irish speakers) when he appeared to mock a fan’s name – Dervla – at a meet-and-greet.
Healy isn’t alone, though, when it comes to anglophone bafflement at Irish names. A recent study based on an analysis of Google searches revealed the words that British people have the most difficulty pronouncing. The names Aoife, Saoirse, Niamh and Siobhán occupy places in the top 10.
And it’s not exclusively a British problem: I always cringe watching US talkshows where the host quizzes their Irish guest (usually Saoirse Ronan) on the pronunciation of their and other Irish names.
I’ve heard every possible variation of my own name from non-Irish people. It’s not uncommon in Ireland; in secondary school, there were four Niamhs in my class. But I rarely come across an English person who is familiar with it, despite the proximity of our two countries.
In case you don’t know, it’s pronounced “Neev” or “Nee-av”, either is perfectly acceptable. The prefix Ní means “daughter of”. My surname is trickier, and has even tripped up a few Irish people; it can be translated as Herbert, and is pronounced “her-a-vard”.
When I was living in London, I quickly learned that saying Niamh at the counter in a coffee shop or over the phone to make a booking simply wouldn’t fly. This led to the invention of what I call my “Starbucks name”. Anything easily pronounceable with a simple spelling would do. Mia, Sophie and Rose were among my common aliases.
Speaking to others reveals a litany of similar experiences. Aoibhe Ní Shúilleabháin, a designer and teacher, spent two years at college in England having her name mispronounced and disrespected. (Her first name is pronounced “Ay-vah”.) More than one lecturer resorted to calling her “blondie”.
She tells me: “I was asked to say, ‘Three hundred and thirty three trees’” – a tongue-twister that does the rounds on TikTok – “more often than I was asked to repeat my name.” She recalls the lack of interest when she attempted to explain that Irish and English are different languages with different pronunciation rules.
Clearly, the sensitivities at play here are rooted in history: Ireland was colonised by the English and our national language was all but wiped out. A language revival began in earnest in the 19th century, but it’s never quite recovered. Ireland’s most recent census shows that about 40% of Ireland’s population can speak Irish. The English destroyed our language once before, so every little throwaway comment and scoff at our names hurts a little bit more – and ultimately becomes just tiresome. A handful of people even remark, “Oh! I didn’t know Ireland had its own language,” when I tell them about my name.
Writer Darach Ó Séaghdha is all too familiar with these difficulties. (The “rach” in Darach is pronounced like “Bach”, he says.)He hosted a podcast called Motherfoclóir, a podcast about the Irish language and culture, and whenever there were guests on with Irish names, “inevitably the episode would turn into group therapy”. There was one bad experience, he recalls, when he was told that his surname “looked like a wifi password”. But he decided to give his children Irish names, too. It’s a common trend, he says, “because parents with Irish names have been battle-hardened”.
Like the others I spoke to for this piece, writer and director Rioghnach (think “Ree-nock”)Ní Ghrioghair believes that a sense of superiority among English speakers is to blame for the constant mistreatment of Irish names. But she’s defiant. “We are going to scrutinise the British for any transgression regarding the pronunciation of our names,” and other things, she tells me, like British media claiming Irish actors as their own during awards seasons.
There is no easy crash-course I can give to you on the pronunciation of Irish names, but you can always try out “how to pronounce”-style websites (which themselves can be contested). But the simplest and most reliable solution is perhaps just to politely ask an Irish person – and listen attentively to what they say. I may have accepted that English people are very rarely going to get my name right on the first go, but I appreciate a well-intentioned effort. Just don’t laugh at it, please.
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bitternanami · 20 days
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something i think is really interesting about dungeon meshi is the cast's respective views on food as the story progresses. the way many adventurers get through the dungeon is to eat when they Must, but mostly rely on healing magic to keep going when they're tired or beaten down. death is something you can buy your way out of, here.
having these lower stakes when it comes to running yourself too hard has made a lot of people in this setting kind of devalue food and what it does for you.
im not all the way through the manga yet, but so far i really like how it goes about debunking that mindset.
long post under the cut, cw explicit discussion of disordered eating. textual depiction of unhealthy methods of dealing with it. please be cautious!
it seems like to most folks, food is either a decadent luxury, like when the governor offers mr tance a feast as a show of power and wealth, (although he is the only one who actually eats in that scene as he talks about his ambitions);
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[id: the governor and mr. tance talk politics and hierarchies, while the governor eats from a bowl. mr. tance's meal is not visible behind a speech bubble.
"so you believe the sorceror is an elf?" he asks.
"i can't say with absolute certainty," mr. tance replies, "but the spells are not ones dwarves and humans typically use." /end id]
like the painted-royal feasts laios tries to partake in that never actually nourish him...
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[id: laios, fresh out of the living painting feast, surprisedly holding his grumbling stomach /end id]
or, to the working class, it's pretty much exclusively fuel. i'm thinking about the scene where kabru's party, ostensibly intended to be our view into how adventuring Typically goes for most people, is shown preparing to go to the dungeon by like. walking up to someone and ordering 'a weeks' worth of rations.' purely functional.
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[id: kabru enters a store, and the merchant says "welcome!"
kabru says "i need a week's worth of rations for six, and two days' worth of water."
"sure thing." the merchant then reaches behind him and grabs a large cube-shaped package, wrapped in nondescript cloth and tied in place. it thumps onto the counter in front of them both. /end id]
when kabru hands mickbell his food for the trip, he complains about how heavy it is on his back. it's a necessary liability.
we also see chilchuck, in an early chapter where there isn't much food to go around, grumbling about how he used to be better at not noticing when he was hungry. he's frustrated that he's more attuned to his bodily needs, now that he's starting to fill them with regularity.
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[id: chilchuck, the only one awake, sits in his bedroll and glares at the timekeeping-candle burning down in front of him while he listens to his stomach growl. moving to find his canteen and fill himself with water instead, he thinks to himself, "my stomach has gotten weaker. i used to be able to go two days without food." /end id]
(like im not even gonna lie this is a big mood. the healing process is really really annoying)
even laios, early on, working out the logistics of going back for falin, considers his expenses and ultimately the thing he decides to save money on is their food supply. like, even the guy most invested in eating as an experience kind of just assumes he will Figure It Out. its what hes eating, not how hes eating it that matters to him at that point.
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[id: marcille looks down at the ingredients they've gathered, the walking mushroom and the scorpion in an unappetizing heap on the ground, and asks laios "so how exactly do we eat them?"
he responds "let's just cook them, like normal." /end id]
but its here that senshi introduces the idea of food as art and as healing. its exciting and its fascinating for laios, getting to taste the creatures hes been reading about and fighting, but i dont think it would ever really help him feel full if not for this.
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[id: three panels of laios tasting the scorpion hotpot, looking stunned, and then excitedly telling senshi "delicious!"
senshi matches his energy, asking "isn't it? isn't it?" /end id]
pictured: guy who had resigned himself to kind of just doing his best rediscovers the joy in something tasting really fucking good
what they did last time isnt going to work. falin is gone, and constantly anesthetizing their pain and healing through their weakness is no longer a realistic option for the party. in order to make it through they must all relearn how to eat well, one by one and as a group over and over again, because its either that or nothing.
one of my favorite depictions of this idea thus far is when marcille is seriously low on health and mana, and both of these problems are mitigated by taking care of herself, and trying to get iron and protein
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[id: marcille, looking sickly, wakes to laios saying, "marcille, marcille, can you sit up? we've got something nice for you."
she watches senshi grill pieces of kelpie liver on a low fire, while laios ties a bib around her neck. /end id]
and drinking a bunch of dead water spirits. she gets the idea, she's supposed to get in nutrients and it'll help her feel better, but in aiming for the quick, inefficient fix, namely chugging that shit down like she heard it was good to Stay Hydrated and decided that would be the thing that fixes her,
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[id: marcille throws back a cup of boiled undine-water, her face red. laios asks, "do you really need to drink it that fast?"
she gasps out "...the magical energy stored in nature spirits is actually quite hard to absorb. even if you drink a lot, the majority of it is excreted without being absorbed," and takes another drink. "that's why i need to drink as much as i can."
laios says weakly "you'll get water poisoning," but marcille only stops when senshi puts a hand on her shoulder and says,
"it's easier to absorb nutrients if ye digest them with food. that's a fundamental rule of nutrition."
marcille says, "senshi..." contemplative
and he holds out a bowl of tentuclus and a thumbs up. "let's get cooking!" /end id]
she doesn't immediately realize the answer is that she needs more than that. she's been working hard. she needs care, and she needs nourishment.
once she gets that, though, she makes her boiled water into a stew, and she works to make that stew as good as she can, and everyone can have some.
because in dungeon meshi, to feed yourself or allow yourself to be fed is treated as performing a kindness for yourself. food is what propels you, but there is also an art and a joy inherent to the process of making it; in the way you feel when you've had enough to eat.
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[id: senshi watches as chilchuck and marcille eat and excitedly hash out plans.
"i've got a good feeling about this! maybe it'll work out!" chilchuck says
marcille responds, "well it's easier to feel optimistic on a full stomach!"
senshi smiles, proud. /end id]
^^^ i want to put this image on my wall
when you're working through disordered eating habits, you really do have to keep learning this shit. (in my experience, learning about cooking is one of the best ways to do so.)
i'll have to see if my thesis holds up as i continue, but i think one of the reasons the portrayal here resonates with me so hard is that ryoko kui puts most of her characters at eye level with me on this. they're all working at it, too. the text and i are both commiserating, and encouraging each other, 'have some more, you'll feel better.'
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dcxdpdabbles · 3 months
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There are so many fics out there where Danny is either adopted by or the biological son of Bruce. In many of these he might have an existential crisis but other wise he is fine and happy to be part of the BatFam. Where are the ones where he fights against this just doesn't want to connect with Bruce of the rest of the family.
One: Bruce is a billionaire and Danny has had some bad experience with Vlad trying to adopt/get him as a son. So even if Bruce is one of "the good ones" Danny does't like billionaires.
Two: Danny for the most part grew up in a mostly normal family and home, with two Parents and a sibling. Most of the BatFam were only children and parents are dead or came from dysfunctional homes. I think Duke is the only one who really had a normal childhood.
Three: The Fenton family is pretty openly affectionate with each other and are pretty normal emotionally. Danny has a great relationship with all of them (Danny went evil in the timeline where they all died). Most of the Batfam is emotionally constipated.
Four: Danny is used to his boundaries being respected. I don't think that the Batfam is great at that. With Bruce needing to know everything, Tim's stalking tendencies, Barbra's hacking, just to name the obvious.
Danny knew that he was adopted into the Fentons. His parents had never hidden it from him, but they never treated him as anything besides their child.
He had come into their lives one day when one of Maddie's old high school friends had called, bawling that she had gotten pregnant and that her husband wasn't the father. He had discovered the truth and thrown her out, leaving her pregnant and alone on the streets of Gotham.
Maddie had been furious at the affair- she hated disloyalty- but had decided to help her only for the baby's sake.
She had driven over multiple state lines back to her home city to pick up the friend only to find out she had taken her life and left her newborn son to Maddie. While Maddie had been able to escape the hellhole that was Gotham, Rebecca never got the chance, not with her average intelligence.
In high school, the two were as close as sisters until Rebecca fell into the whisky bottles her father carelessly left around. She blossomed into a beautiful woman upon their graduation- more so than Maddie-, turning from a sweet homebody into someone who got into exclusive parties and powerful men.
Maddie had slowly drifted away from her, so far away at college, and Rebecca fell further and further into the party scene. It was a surprise that she settled down for marriage and Maddie truly believed that she had been happy with her husband.
That's why Danny was such a surprise. Maddie did not know who Danny's biological father was, but she did not care. Not after they placed the sobbing infant into her arms, and she realized that she was his mother now.
She immediately phoned Jack to tell him what had happened, and he told Jazz she was a big sister before the call ended. They told him the story about when he started to learn his colors. Not with her taking her life, of course; that was when Danny turned fourteen. This was only a few days before Danny revealed he was Phantom to them.
They were first shocked, but then they became supportive. Phantom now had two proud ghost hunters following him, shooting photos instead of guns.
It was embarrassing, but it was also nice of them.
And that was that. Danny is a Fenton, adopted, but a child of Maddie and Jack Fenton all the same.
He never gave his biological parents a thought. In fact, he all but forgot about them until Sam convinced him to take an ancestry test. He had allowed her to swipe his mouth, package his DNA, and send it off to see where his people came from, completely forgetting that he would not match with Jazz, who had done the same thing a month prior.
His results were shocking, to say the least.
Somehow, someway, Rebecca Silver had been in the system of DNA samples, and they had matched him to her alongside his biological father.
Bruce Wayne. Rebecca had an affair with Bruce Wayne, arguably one of the wealthiest men in the country, and they had sent him a message to let him know he matched with his son.
An eccentric billionaire has just been told that Danny was his. He knew that song and dance well, and it was never fun to dance to. Danny could only stare at the results with dread as Sam apologized profoundly.
"Maybe he won't see it." Tucker tried. "I mean, Wayne is probably so busy with rich people stuff he doesn't have time to even look at his emails. Especially ones that will come in spam since it's comersolized."
"Yeah, Maybe" Danny doesn't think he's that lucky.
A month later, the Fenton's home phone rings. His parents are working on a new invention on the dinning room table, Danny is stretched out in front of the TV watching a mindless cartoon and Jazz is crocheting in the love chair.
It's a typical Tuesday night where everyone is doing their own thing but close enough to each other that they can call it family time. Jazz is the closest to the house phone so she picks it up with a cheerful "Fenton house, this is Jasmine."
Her smile slowly slips away as all the blood drains from her face. Alarmed by her reaction, Danny sits up. "Jazz? What's wrong?"
His words have his parents' heads snapping up, zoning in on their daughter's rapidly growing destress. Yes, they get distracted often with their work, but the Fentons have always been loving parents.
They quickly spring into action.
"Jazzy-pants?" His dad says, walking up to her and taking the phone from her slack hand. He covers the speaking end of it, not paying attention to the call as his mom hugs his sister. "What's the matter?"
"It's... Bruce Wayne's lawyer," Jazz says faintly. "He's calling about Danny. He said that Mr. Wayne has been attempting to take Danny back and that they are going to take us to court soon."
The room goes dead quiet, and Danny snorts. "He can't do that without a letter or something. Come on Jazz, it's obviously a prank."
Someone at school likely found out and thought it would be funny to make "the biggest loser of Casper High" Danny Fenton, think a billionaire wanted him as a son. Honestly, he wouldn't put it past the A-listers.
He laughs to show how stupid this prank is, but neither of his parents joins him. Instead, his mother closes her eyes and whispers, "We received his court papers weeks ago. We've been trying to get a lawyer."
What.
She pushes Jazz into his dad's arms, where his sister is slowly panicking. His dad tries to soothe her as his mom opens the drawer under the TV, pulling out three orange envelopes. She looks remorseful as she hands them to Danny. "We didn't want you to worry. I'm sorry we didn't tell you sooner. Vlad said he would help, but he wasn't sure what he could do against such a powerful man"
And there, in overly complicated terms, is clear as day. Bruce Wayne wanted full custody of Danny Fenton and was willing to take the Fentons to court to get it done.
The man- who has never so much as met Danny, much less have a right to say what happens to him- was accusing his parents of child abuse and child neglect! He not only was trying to take Danny away but Jazz as well!
Where did this man get the audacity!?
"I don't want to go with him!" He shouts rage, making his eyes glow green. "I don't even know him!"
"I know, sweetie. I won't let him take you" His mom says, yanking him into a protective hug, and he realizes that her shirt is getting wet with his tears. Tears that fall just like the woman who raised him. "Everything will be alright."
It won't be, he knows, but he won't tell her that. He just lets his mother hold him, and when his sister and father crash into the hug a second later, he holds them just as tight.
He's not sure how they will win against Bruce Wayne, but Danny will fight his biological father every step of the way. He will not be his son.
______________________________________________________________
Bruce stares at the photo of Danny Fenton- his son. His boy, whom he wasn't aware was alive until a month ago- and the reports from concerned teachers and whatever information Barbra could pull from his classmate's social media.
Dramatically dropping grades.
Clear signs of sleepless nights.
Flinches whenever his parents pull out "ghost hunting" gear.
Strange bruises and cuts along his arms and legs.
His small stature is no longer growing properly like his peers.
It all pointed to one thing. The Fentons were abusing his son and Bruce would bet the sister was suffering from the same treatment if her own grade dropping, sleepless eyes, and desperate race to adulthood were any indication.
Bruce laces his hands, resting his chin on them as the Batcomputer slowly flips through various reports being quickly dismissed by incompetent social workers who all claim it was Ghost Hunter related and not a cause for concern.
Those same social workers all seemed to have gotten quite generous donations from one Vlad Masters, a well-known family friend of the Fentons.
He hates corruption that allows children to be hurt, more so when it;'s his own children.
"When do we go retrieve Brother?" Damian asks, green eyes narrowing in rage as the reports scroll slowly. Ever since he found out Danny is a blood sibling, all Damian has been talking about is getting his elder brother home. "I am displeased with how long it's been, Father."
"Soon," Bruce promises, aware the rest of his children gather around him. They don't speak, but he feels their protective rage at what Danny has gone through, and he knows they will use every last bit of their training to get Danny home. "Either through the courts or in person. Danny will be with us come summer."
"Good," grunts Jason. "I'll have a little chat with his adoptive scumbags when we get him."
"I'll help," Dick tacks on.
"I'll make it look like an accident," Tim says, voice leveled but eyes blazing as the reports get to the neglect section. He has personal issues about that.
Bruce has never been so proud. "Court date is set for three weeks. They can't weasel their way out of it this time."
Don't worry son, he thinks to Danny, I'm going to save you.
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theminecraftbee · 6 months
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sigh okay this year i have actual mob vote opinions. disclaimer: my MAIN opinion is that if i see too much mob vote salt on my dash i'll just block the relevant terms again, and that all three mobs are adorable and i'd like any of them. however, my vague thoughts on them:
crab: i have inherent vault hunters-based crab grudges. the coconut crab appears in my nightmares. however, past that, the crab as an animal is fun, i like crabs alright. the fact it's shown crawling up trees sideways is neat. i'll say mangrove forests are ALREADY one of the loveliest, most alive-feeling biomes, so i don't know if they need an exclusive mob? but it's also realistic for the crab so i'll take it. when it comes to the crab claw itself... many questions. is it an off-hand item? or like create's extendo-reach thing? or what? how MUCH additional reach does it give you? even just two blocks can be wildly useful in my modded experience, but like, is it one or two blocks, or does it double your reach, or what? and does that reach extend to mining at all? the video says it's just block placing, which would make sense from a balance perspective, but does sort of hamstring the claw's usefulness if that's the case; if you misplace a block you're going to have to scaffold over there anyway. if it DOES include mining reach... oh boy, that's a whole new ballgame.
armadillo: cute! i like armadillos! seeing it curled up as a ball, i wonder if it has a block-like form like that? that sounds really fun! like a shulker, or something else you could stand on. (that is PURE speculation, nothing else to suggest that is shown in the video.) it being found in "warm biomes like the savannah" i like more than the mangrove-exclusive crab, especially since the savannah can feel a little sparse and lifeless. i wonder if it's in other warm biomes? as for its effect, it has the most straightforward one: when it gets scared it sheds its scute, and you can use that to make wolf armor. i like wolf armor! wolves have needed some way to make them more survivable for ages! it's not like, got potential to be a massive gamechanger or anything, but it doesn't have to, it's fun!
penguins: by FAR the cutest design. i love that they chose macaroni penguins, excellent choice. the fact they're native to stony shore biomes is also an excellent choice (and far better than choosing a snowy biome; more penguins live in places like the stony shore irl!). the stony shore having penguins also gives it a bit more of the life stony shorelines have irl. their secondary effect, though... honestly, "make boats go faster" doesn't really speak to me? i am enjoying imagining a world where this effect works while iceboating (prepare to rubberband ALL OVER THE PLACE), and i think it would be fun, it just personally compels me the least. which is a shame, because i think the penguins are ABSOLUTELY the cutest!
overall, i think i land towards the armadillo. i like that none of them really have any big, exciting, game changing feature, just nice-to-have. makes it feel less like we miss out on something huge when two of them lose, just miss out on something potentially cute. i still wish the old mob votes could still be added to the game and that the losers here would also be added to the game. i wouldn't be mad if any of these guys won honestly they're all cute and have mildly interesting effects.
and this will be the last time i discuss the mob vote, except maybe to reblog cute art.
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goldenwilliamson · 4 months
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keeping it casual | leah williamson
pairing: leah williamson x reader
a/n: inspired by the song casual by chappel roan - a must listen for all the queer girlies who have been in confusing situationships. it sucks.
summary: reader and leah become friends w benefits, but reader wants more. leah is very clear however on the fact that she wants to keep things casual. miscommunication, a little angsty, little fluffy, and little smutty (if you squint).
word count: 2000
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There was no denying your feelings for Leah. Of course you’d always been attracted to her, that’s how you ended up in this friends with benefits, no strings attached situation in the first place. However you had both made it abundantly clear from the start that you wanted this to be casual. You weren’t looking for a relationship, and from what Leah said, neither was she. It was casual sex, and that was that. Except now the lines were blurring between something casual and something real, and you didn’t know what to do about it. 
What began as late night hook ups has turned into essentially living in each others houses, sleeping in the same bed every night, driving to and from training together, and from the outside it would appear you two were in a happy relationship. Everyone could see the way you two lit up around each other. But everyone also knew that Leah didn't have a reputation as a monogamist, and that raised concerns among some of your team mates. Namely, Beth Mead who pulled you aside one day for a conversation that became much more serious than you had anticipated.
‘What’s happening with you and Leah, darling?’ She asked you and you smiled.
‘I don’t know, it’s all a bit confusing to be honest,’ you admitted, shrugging your shoulders. 
‘Y/N, you shouldn’t have to be confused. I really wish Leah would just grow up and be ready for a relationship, she shouldn’t be stringing you along like this,’ Beth said, and your defences shot up. 
‘She’s not stringing me along,’ you said bluntly, ‘This was a mutual choice, we both went into this wanting nothing more than something casual.’
‘But don’t you want more than that? I can see it in the way you look at her that you really have feelings for her. I just don’t want you to get hurt,’ Beth said pleadingly, surprising you that she would come to you to try and persuade you out of this situation with Leah.
‘I can appreciate where you’re coming from, but I’m a big girl Beth, and so is Leah. Whatever happens I can deal with, but for now it’s good. You don’t have to worry,’ you told her and she nodded slightly, though you could sense that she wasn’t convinced. 
The conversation ended there however, and you went back to training. That night when you and Leah went back to her flat, you wound up pressed together, trying to taste every inch of each other. While you rested your back against the headboard, Leah worked her magic between your legs, using her tongue in all the right ways to get you off. This is it, you thought, it’s just sex. But the way that Leah holds you and falls asleep with her face against your neck makes you think about your chat with Beth. Because not only do you want the obscenely good sex, but you want the cuddles, you want the late night conversations, and the waking up together. You want the inside jokes, and the stolen glances on the pitch. But deep down, most of all you want to know that Leah is all yours, yet that’s the one thing that you know you won’t get.  
When you woke up the next morning you brought it up with Leah, in a subtle way, deciding to tell her how Beth had pulled you aside. 
‘Beth doesn’t understand not wanting to be in a relationship, because she’s always in one,’ Leah had told you plainly. 
‘Yeah,’ you agreed meekly, not sure how to digest that fact that Leah was still telling you that she didn’t want to be in a relationship. 
While at the beginning you were on the same page, now her refusal to be exclusive feels like a knife in the heart. Because you had given Leah the best of you, and she still didn’t want to be with you, and that felt personal.
Despite all the feelings arising on your end, you two continued your pattern, living in each others pockets and sleeping together, but not putting a label on it. Now you were even attending Williamson Wednesday’s as you had dubbed it. The one night a week where Leah and her family all went round to her Nan’s house for dinner and board games. You had wondered what this meant for your relationship, regularly spending time with her family. In front of them she never tried to hide the fact that you guys were romantically involved either, she would gladly take your hand, or let her arm settle around your shoulders or waist, even steal a kiss. Leah’s own mother Amanda had praised you privately in the kitchen one night, thanking you for making her daughter so happy. And yet, her daughter remained certain that she didn’t want a relationship.
At this stage you were starting to feel disillusioned by it all. You started really questioning how on earth Leah could truly believe anything about your relationship was ‘casual’. 
It all came to a head one night when you were out at an event together. You two were ready to walk down the carpet to get photos taken and Leah had planted her hand on your lower back, initiating that you two would walk together. 
‘We wouldn’t want the press thinking we’re a couple now, would we?’ You said sharply, stepping away from her and choosing to walk first by yourself. You were tired of the mixed signals, and when you looked back at Leah you could see that you’d shocked her. 
When you got to the end and walked on through to the next room Leah came quickly to your side, ‘Have I done something?’ she asked in a low murmur.
You settled your rising emotions with a breath and then turned to face her, ‘I just didn’t think you would want to be photographed with me by your side, seeing as you’re pretty adamant about how you don’t want to be in a relationship with me.’ 
‘Woah, where’s all this coming from?’ Leah said, stepping back slightly and holding her hands up innocently. 
‘Forget it, let’s just get through the night,’ you say, putting it to bed for now. 
Instead of spending the night with Leah, like you’d want to, you let yourself socialise and catch up with people who you hadn’t seen in a while. However you mind never strays from the blonde girl who you’ve completely fallen for. You’ve tried to push your feelings away, and tell yourself to just enjoy it for what it is, but you can’t do it anymore. You decide to leave early, ordering yourself an uber home, rather than using the car organised to transport you and Leah. In the back seat the emotions overcome you, and the tears finally fall. You begin to process how much you truly do feel for Leah, and you start to feel like an idiot for allowing her to just use you for sex for this long. 
When you get home you can’t even bare to look at yourself in the mirror to remove your makeup. You just clumsily step out of your dress and crawl into bed, feeling lonelier than ever. Your pillows muffle the sound of you crying as your body shakes in the sheets. Hoping sleep will find you soon, you close your eyes and try to think about anything else. It’s no use but, your mind completely revolves around one person now, and the fact that she doesn’t feel the same way only makes you feel worse. 
After what must be about an hour of wallowing, you hear your front door creak open and close and the click of heels on your floorboards downstairs. You know immediately who it is and you keep your eyes firmly shut, trying to stable yourself mentally for all this to come to an end. 
You’re laying with your back to the door when she enters the room, her presence bringing with it an energy that never fails to fill you up with love and affection. 
‘Hey,’ she says gently, stepping closer to the bed until she kicks off her shoes and pulls off her blazer then crawls under the covers herself, wrapping her body around yours and holding you against her. The tears come again and you find yourself silently crying. 
‘Baby, please talk to me, what’s going on in that head of yours?’ Leah pleads, affectionately planting kisses into your hair as she runs her hands over your body. As much as you wish you didn’t, you relax into her touch, while your mind continues it’s internal battle about whether or not you should bring all this up.
‘I can’t do this Leah,’ you say, spinning around. She releases her grip on you and pushes your hair out of your face so she can see you properly. 
‘Can’t do what?’ Her eyebrows knit together and her lips are slightly parted, trying to process the night.
‘I don’t know why I let this go on so long,’ you can’t even look at her, because seeing her face makes you want to forget about how you feel and let everything continue as it has been. You roll your face into the pillow, groaning and wishing this could be different. 
‘You don’t want to be with me anymore?’ Leah echoes the information she is receiving back to you. 
‘No,’ your voice is muffled by the pillows as you make your admission, ‘I want to be with you, that’s the problem, because you don’t want to be with me.’ 
Leah examines you carefully, smoothing down your hair as she tries to find the right words.
She speaks slowly when she does, allowing all the words to sink in, 'Y/N, of course I want to be with you, I thought I was following your lead with this whole friends with benefits thing.'
'What?' You turn to face her as you remember all the times she made it very clear she did not want to be with you.
'I would’ve made you my girlfriend right away, but you told me you weren’t looking for anything serious. I want to be with you, I thought you were the one who didn’t want a relationship,' she says, shaking her head, realising how this was a serious error in communication from both of you.
'Are you kidding me? I thought this whole thing was on your terms, and it was just about the sex for you,' you say.
'Are you blind?' Leah scoffs, smiling, 'You’ve basically moved in to my house, you come with me to visit my family every week, I thought I was making it obvious that I want you to be a part of my life.'
You smile at yourself now, feeling silly for not having just had this conversation sooner, 'Why didn’t you just say something?'
'Because I was scared! You always seemed a bit off about it all, but now I can see why,' she says, looking you deep in the eyes like she is finally understanding you in a new way. 
'We both should have said something then,' you say and Leah nods.
'I can’t believe you would think I would use you just for sex, what am I, a man?' She says in sarcastic shock.
'You didn’t say otherwise!' You quip back. 
'Well I guess I did want to keep having sex with you, that’s why I didn’t say anything,' she shrugs.
'Me too,' you smile.
'But you know this is so much more than sex, even though that’s also really great,' Leah says, letting her hand rest on the side of your face. 
'It is for me too. I want everything with you,' you say, feeling like you’re stepping off a cliff, falling into a new part of your life. A life with Leah. 
'So do I. I love you, Y/N, so much,' she says and you eliminate the short distance between your faces, kissing her gently.
'I love you too,' you say, resting your forehead against her as you pull back. Leah closes the gap now, kissing you again, and again. 
‘So does this make you my girlfriend, then?’ She mumbles between kisses as your hands roam over her waist and thighs trying to take off her outfit.
'It better,' you say, not wasting a moment before connecting your lips back to her skin, just to make sure she knows just how much you’ve been waiting for this moment. 
829 notes · View notes
tojipie · 11 months
Note
Please serve us your best dilf toji headcanons I am begging
warnings: nsfw, exhibitionism, anal, alc n weed
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sfw -
will use little placeholder names for you but gets all flustered when you do it back. he’ll call you things like pretty girl, little girl, sweet girl, etc. but as soon as you start firing back he gets embarrassed
works construction so he exclusively likes to wear a simple black tee and baggy jeans. a lot of the pieces he owns have singe marks and paint stains because he can never remember to put his work clothes in the wash in time :( he likes the look of it though.
doesn’t care that he’s older, like at all. he has an almost sickening amount of confidence in himself and quite honestly loves having a pretty little sweetheart on his arm.
loves cheap beer. always has a couple 6 packs stacked in the garage, and will usually pull you into his lap when you come to bring him one. it happens so often that the two of you now have this inside joke where you bringing him a beer means you’re initiating sex.
little bit of a temper in public but is working on it. is no stranger to road rage or picking fights with other men in public places. he got the two of you banned from ihop after he called one of the managers a cunt 🫡
bad cook! just terrible. it’s literally comical how incapable he is of making the simplest meals. he lived almost exclusively off of takeout before he met you and is still adjusting to eating at home more.
likes to eat out of the pot with u :,) thinks it’s romantic and will use his spoon to feed u bites from time to time.
is the type of smoker to say “i’ll quit when i want to” (he’s not going to quit). he tried shifting over to weed to get the buzz he needs but it fucks with his head before work so he just went back to his cigarettes. prefers marlboro reds! will blow the smoke in your face just to make you mad.
let’s you cut his hair! he thinks you do a better job than a barber ever would. when he needs a trim he’ll touch-up his undercut with an electric razor and have you shorten his fringe for him. you think he looks so cute sitting at the kitchen table with a towel wrapped around his shoulders.
will do different things while he rubs your back just to see your little reactions. he’ll run his nails down your spine, trace shapes into your skin, and give you little pats just to see you melt off to sleep.
nsfw -
lives for a good blowjob, no matter the place. will ask to get sucked off in the living room, in the drivers seat, on his breaks when you visit him at work. literally no shame when it comes to having his dick in your mouth.
cums fast and cums a lot. pretty fast recovery time and can definitely go multiple rounds. his favorite place to finish is on your face and lower stomach 🫶
wants to do anal but doesn’t really know how to go about bringing it up. the idea first piqued his interest after a friend told him about him and his wife trying it. he’s definitely curious about how tight you’d be around him, and would love to see your little gape :( he’s a sick man
definitely an ass man! lots to do with it, it’s natural that it’d be a favorite of his. loves how easy marks take on the skin there and is likely to leave a couple hickeys while ur doing it.
favorite position is doggy. boring ik :( but it’s a classic to him! he feels most comfortable gripping onto the fat just above your hips and pulling you back into his cock. he’ll either have you face down with a hand to the back of your neck, or use your shoulder as leverage to keep you upright while he pounds into you.
might have a genuine exhibition kink. you cannot visit the airport without going at least a round in the single stall bathroom. if the two of you can find a room with a lock, he’s gonna ask to fuck in it. that’s just how it is and there’s no changing him. had his way with you once in the gym showers, you still don’t know how he successfully snuck you in and out of there.
big on both degradation and praise, he knows how to balance them out well, following every “fucking slut” up with a equally devastating “but you take cock like a champ no?
big dick 🫡 need i elaborate. he likes to press down on your tummy while he fucks you to try and see where his tip is, he thinks it’s fucking hilarious.
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wingedtwilight · 4 months
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i think more people need to be more critical of the way that genocide and racism are presented in tes.
the elder scrolls is a series that has deeply entrenched racist ideals that have dug their roots into western fantasy and it does not subvert or challenge these ideals. concerningly, it presents multiple scenarios wherein a genocide is “justified” in some way, often presented in the form of “human vs elf race wars” that have more or less become fascist dogwhistles in fantasy. elves frequently become stand-ins for races and ethnicities seen as subhuman, and you can look no further than the real-life politics of die-hard stormcloak fans to prove this matter. in fact, members of the neo-nazi forum stormfront have overtly stated that to them, ulfric stormcloak represents whites struggling against jewish overlords. it’s not hard to see how this issue came about- the presentation of essentially white humans being subjugated by a near-but-not-quite-human race of overlords for their religious reverence of a man who is also a god is something found in both far-right christian circles and also skyrim. the clear influence of christianity on the imperial pantheon does nothing to help this issue.
skyrim lends itself to being co-opted by antisemitic conspiracy theorists in this manner with the thalmor, and the status of dunmer refugees and their descendants in windhelm openly appeals to anti-immigration fans who then go on to use the dunmer as a stand-in for whatever culture or race they scapegoat as an immigration threat. it is concerning to me to hear ostensibly liberal tes fans arguing that the dunmer should be grateful to be allowed to live in a slum at all, echoing the sentiments expressed by far-right fans who don’t really mean dunmer all that much when they say those things.
the falmer pose another issue. it shouldn’t be hard to imagine why the lore of a european-analogous race sailing to a “new” continent where they proceed to slaughter the prior inhabitants with the excuse that they were attacked first might be upsetting to players. the fact that the game goes on to present surviving falmer as mindless subhuman monsters is yet more unsettling. yet skyrim goes out of its way to avoid placing the blame on the atmorans/nords, instead pulling that whole deal with the dwemer and focusing on that as the source of the falmer’s suffering. even one of the few surviving unchanged falmer places more emphasis on the crimes of the dwemer and the malevolence of the betrayed than on the nords that enacted a genocide in the first place.
this is a writing decision that places the player in a spot of perceived innocence- the game implicitly suggests that nothing can really be done now because the dwemer are gone, and the falmer are so corrupted that you have no choice but to carry out indiscriminate violence against a race subjected to a genocide. meanwhile the companions actively revere ysgramor and you as the player can acquire an axe with the sole purpose of being used to kill elves AND A DAMAGE BONUS AGAINST THEM, and none of this is condemned nor really even all that discussed at all.
these kinds of decisions don’t exist in a vacuum. it is known that bethesda has had an issue with bigoted employees, most famously but far from exclusively michael kirkbride. while certainly fantasy racism isn’t a direct 1:1 to real life oppression, there’s undoubtedly influence from real life biases and bigotries (even if subconscious and not the result of intentional malice) in the writing of the elder scrolls, and it’s important to be able to recognize this and point it out so you don’t end up sounding like a nazi when you discuss the games.
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yoongiofmine · 5 months
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Just a Taste | RapLine | Kinktober One Shot
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This one shot is an exclusive content for the YoongiOfMine Membership on Ko-fi! Learn more.
Pair: Vampire!RapLine  x BloodSlave!Reader
Summary: Yoongi was leading a double life. Hiding you from his coven, from his brothers, was a self preservation decision. When he knew his best friends wouldn’t understand the kind of relationship he had with you, his very own, personal walking blood bag, he decided to keep you all to himself. So what happens when Namjoon and Hoseok show up unannounced? Will Yoongi say yes to sharing more than the news of what you do? 
Genre: One shot, fluff, tiny angst, smut, non idol au, vampire au. 
Warnings: HAPPY HALLOWEEN! Vampire smut, you are a blood slave (but get paid for it), porn with plot, mentions of biting, fangs, drinking blood (they are vampires, come on). Rap line shares you, wohoooooo.  
WC: 14k
OUT NOW!
Teaser under the cut:
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At eight pm, like clockwork, both Namjoon and Hoseok heard a door softly open and close on the second floor of their shared mansion. They could kind of pick up on Jeongguk's voice asking Yoongi hyung where he was going –a foolish and futile attempt–, only to be met with a disheartened 'out' that didn’t tell any of them much to begin with. 
This had been happening for several weeks now, the older vampire would wait a couple of hours after sundown to pick up his things and leave the house. Sometimes not coming back until several days later, only to be at the mansion long enough so his coven mates wouldn't worry, and the cycle would repeat itself all over again.
And it was driving Namjoon and Hoseok a little mad. 
Out of all of the members in their succinct coven, the three of them –Yoongi, Hoseok, Namjoon– had always been the closest. Lived together the longest, loved each other like brothers and sometimes more. They were used to telling each other everything, knew what the other was thinking most of the time. 
Until now.
Yoongi was keeping secrets, that much was obvious. Pulling away from the other two, avoiding answering questions as simple and Jeongguk's. 
But that ended tonight. 
The two younger vampires were in the living room of the Bangtan mansion as Yoongi passed them with a simple greeting, a 'hey, I won't be back before the weekend' that they responded with a nod and a 'have a good rest, hyung'. 
Bangtan had been together for over ten decades now, and for the past two, all seven of them had their own places around town. Houses, apartments, penthouses, even a cottage-like space in the middle of a forest nearby. A place for the vampires to go to when living with the others got too much, when they needed some time alone or a quiet place to take their prey to. 
And Yoongi was always a fan of having his own place, but never like this. 
Which is why Hoseok was getting up from the couch and being closely followed by the taller, younger vampire, down to the garage of their home about five minutes after they heard Yoongi’s car leave. 
"We're really doing this?" Namjoon slipped into the passenger's seat of Hoseok’s bright red car. 
"Don’t go chickening out on me now, Joonie, this was your idea." Hoseok pointed out, pressing the remote control to open the heavy gate of the garage. 
"I’m–pretty sure following hyung wasn’t what I meant when I said I wished we knew where he's going all the time." 
"We’re not following him." Hoseok shrugged, driving onto the empty and quiet street of their neighborhood. "Just driving to his place for a friendly visit." 
"Uh huh." 
Namjoon wasn’t so convinced, his moral compass was still going a little haywire. Whenever any of them went to their respective places, it was to get away for a bit, to have their own private time, so he wasn’t so sure they could invade the hyung’s privacy like that. No matter how many times they have done it before. 
But as Hoseok drove into the busiest streets of Seoul, passing by bars, restaurants and 24h stores that catered to both their kind and to humans, Namjoon couldn’t help but let his curiosity speak louder than reason. 
Especially not when they parked in front of Yoongi’s home and his car wasn't in the driveway. 
"How did we get here before him?" Namjoon was asking out loud what Hoseok was thinking. 
"I'm not sure, I even took the long way here in case we ran into him." Hoseok cut the engine off as both of them stared into the two story house. "Wait, the side window– there's a light on." 
"You think he's parked on the back street?" 
"Let's find out." 
Before Namjoon could even protest, Hoseok was already jumping out of the car and marching his way to the front door. Not only that, the older vampire was pulling a set of keys from the back pocket of his jeans; a copy of Yoongi’s house keys that should only be used for emergency purposes. 
“Just what kind of emergency are we expecting to find?” Namjoon chuckled.
“Maybe he forgot a pan on the stove and we’re about to stop a house fire.” Hoseok shrugged, taking his sweet time to pick the right key for the front door. 
“Hyung hasn’t cooked in centuries, we can’t eat food–” the younger vampire pointed out, to which Hoseok replied with a side smirk. 
“How do you explain those take out bags, then, Joonie?” 
With a hand on the doorknob, Hoseok motioned to the few paper bags neatly placed to the side, inside the trash can standing a few meters away from the entrance. The smell coming from it was still fresh, as if someone had those for lunch or an early dinner, raising the two vampires’ curiosity to a whole new level. 
"Enough of the dramatics, hyung." Namjoon all but whined, patience running thin as they heard steps coming from the inside of the house.
Once the door was pushed open, it made an eerie sound in the otherwise quiet home. The light they had seen from the side of the house belonged to the living room slash open kitchen area. A few things were pretty obvious as the two men stepped inside:
Yoongi hyung wasn’t home. There’s no way the vampire wouldn’t have heard them opening the door and welcoming themselves in. 
Someone else, however, was. 
Someone who didn’t belong to their kind; someone warm, with fresh blood still running through their veins. Someone whose heart was very much still beating. 
As the door was locked automatically behind them, the click still wasn’t loud enough to drown out the beating heart as it got closer. Rushed steps followed it, until a small figure showed up at the entrance of the living room; as quick as it came, it went away, hiding behind a wall upon noticing the two strangers.
Your heart was beating faster as you tried and failed to stay hidden, peaking the two men’s curiosity as they looked at each other to check they had seen the same thing. The small girl that was behaving more like a scared bunny than a human, the very owner of the honeyed scent that was covering every inch of Yoongi’s home. 
“Now, now, don’t be shy, little thing.” Hoseok sounded amused as he called to you, taking a step further and to the side so he could see part of your arm as you clearly didn’t hide as well as you thought. “Won’t you come and say hi?”
“We don’t bite.” Namjoon added with an amused grin, which made you scoff and take a peek out of your terrible hiding spot. 
“Hi.” big, round eyes were staring back at them, so full of deceitful innocence that both men caught themself taking predatorial slow steps closer to you. 
“Who might you be, hm?” Hoseok almost sang, tilted head as he watched your tense posture. 
“Uh. I'm Yn.”
“I'm Namjoon, this is Hoseok.” Namjoon introduced them and your eyes widened impossibly large, almost like a cartoon of the kind Jungkook liked to watch. 
“Oh, you're from his coven–” your tiny gasp was adorable as you tried to hide your body further into the wall. 
“So you've heard of us.” Hoseok continued to stalk you when the other man was a little behind. 
“Of course I have.” 
“That’s funny, because we didn't hear a thing about you.” Hoseok tentatively walked around the corner, making you turn and press your back against the wall. “Care to explain why that is?”
The two men towered over you greatly as you tried to make yourself as small as possible. Maybe small enough to slip past them and find a new place to hide. Not that you could ever outrun them, but neither Namjoon or Hoseok would be against playing chase, should you be into it. 
You were clearly not scared of them, really. The fresh marks on your neck, arm, and the bruise just shy of your shirt collar were proof enough that you knew the true nature of the owner of the house you were staying at. 
They had no doubts about it as you said:
“Maybe you should ask Yoongi about that… He should be here soon.” you nibbled on your bottom lip, soft and plush, blood rushing to the surface of your cheeks as both mel followed the action with their eyes. 
“I don't think we'll do that.” Hoseok tsked, hands on his hips as he looked off to the side as if in deep thought. And then he looked at you again, catching your eyes as you let your guard down, enough for your breath to get caught in your lungs and you let him in. “Come, let's sit and have a talk.”
Hoseok didn’t always use his haze. Bangtan as a coven didn’t really approve of it, of using their powers against humans, of making them vulnerable and susceptible to their wishes. Particularly, he didn’t need to resort to them during feedings, having more useful weapons to get what he wanted; like his charm, his looks, his charisma. 
But something told him that none of that would work on you. 
Namjoon was clearly a little uncomfortable with Hoseok’s choice to use it on you right now, to get information on your relationship with their hyung, but not enough to say something or stop him from placing an arm around your shoulders to guide you to the couch. 
Hoseok motioned for you to sit down first and you did so obediently; the vampire wondered if you’d be this sweet and pliant while sober. Both Namjoon and Hoseok took the cushions on your sides, but kept their respectful distance, should they want to avoid their mouths salivating or their hunger being triggered by how nice you smelled. 
You were blinking slowly, hands on your lap as Hoseok continued:
“Now, how do you know hyung?”
“I work for him.” your words came out hurdle-free and honest. 
“You work–”
“Hyung, her wrist.” Namjoon pointed out, making Hoseok’s eyes travel down your arm and stop on the silver bracelet dangling from your right wrist. 
He’d seen those before, the dainty piece of jewelry that would hold your name, age, and blood type. You had to wear it for identification purposes, a clear sign to both vampires and humans that you… Donated your blood to the nightwalkers. 
“Are you a blood slave, darling?” Namjoon asked, running his finger along the pumping vein on the inside of your wrist. 
“I am.” you nodded with a slow blink.
“And that's what you do for hyung?” Hoseok wanted to know. 
“Yes.”
“How long have you worked for him?” the oldest vampire continued, turning sideways to study you. 
“He's been coming to the bar for the past five months, since Jimin first brought him in.” you explained and the vampires looked at each other, sporting similar frown. Jimin was into the whole blood slave business, too? “But I only started living here a few weeks ago.”
“You must be pretty special, for him to have wanted to hire you full time.” Namjoon hummed to himself. 
That would explain why Yoongi had been running away from their mansion as often as he could, spending days away, taking up any excuse to go out. And if Namjoon had a pretty little thing such as yourself waiting for him at home, he couldn’t say he’d act any differently. 
“He says he never tasted anyone sweeter.” you looked down as you said it, blood pumping faster. 
“Is that so?” Hoseok grinned wolfishly.
“Yes.”
“Why didn't hyung tell us about her?” Namjoon asked the older man, but you were the one to answer:
“Yoongi said you'd judge him for it. That you don't like blood slaves... you wouldn't understand it.”  
You weren’t all that wrong. Their coven, especially the oldest members, didn’t really like the implications that involved the whole blood-slave situation. In most cases, it wasn’t really a legal job, it was easy for the humans to be exploited by the personal gain of ‘bar owners’ or liberal establishments that held workers such as yourself as part of the menu. 
Bangtan might have gone through a few bumps and mistakes over the decades, but they still held onto some morals. 
“Well, that's  still no reason to keep such a sweet little thing like you away from us–”
The two vampires must be so distracted by your soft spoken tone and heartbeat that they didn’t hear the door opening and closing, nor the steps that came down the hall until Yoongi was standing there, catching them in the act. 
514 notes · View notes
triptychgardener · 7 days
Note
Hello sorry if this is a bother but I am asking in good faith where is the reading for transmasc nepeta. I’m asking this cuz of your last ask (the June one) and I see aradia Dirk and Jane. Thoes all I have seen post and analysis about. But I have not really seen anything about nepeta.
Okay so first thing you gotta understand is that gender in Homestuck, for lack of a better way to say it, can be understood in how characters reflect and relate to each other. That being said to understand Nepeta's gender, we gotta understand the gender of at the very least one other person.
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Dave.
And more specifically.
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Davepeta, Homestuck's very own first(ish) trans character.
Davepeta is noted to be a sort of platonic ideal of existence for both Dave and Nepeta. Somehow, through a strange series of cosmic coincidences, these two end up making an odd sort of parallel. Both having a strange relationship to a man who loves him some goddamn horses. The whole Akwete Purrmusk thing. I mean, Dave canonically engaged in semi-nonironic furry roleplay with Nepeta offscreen, and given what we know about what becoming a furry in Homestuck means, it's not a leap to describe this as their ideal form.
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But, although we don't see a lot of Nepeta's character arc, we do see a lot of Dave's. He struggles his whole life under an incredibly oppressive masculine force (both of Bro and, indirectly, Lord English), and once the game is over ends up deconstructing and largely rejecting that.
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So when Davesprite, who's also probably been thinking about this for even longer, bereft of purpose or identity, finds a kindred soul in a spunky catgirl... well the rest is Davepeta.
And similarly, there are points in the story where Nepeta acts kind of uncomfortable with how others see her as exclusively something to be protected. The whole "Dear, sweet, precious Nepeta" grates on her early on, as Equius uses it as an excuse to control her actions. The whole of moiraillegience as it is originally explained (i.e. one party helps to calm down an especially brutal and violent person from outbursts of anger, and in turn that person will protect the more docile, even-tempered soul from external harm) even kind of FEELS like the way heterosexual relationships are portrayed in a lot of conservative spaces, where women are nuturers and caretakers while men are protectors. And Nepeta is supposed to, in this situation, be the person who helps Equius manage his emotions, which she feels some consternation at!
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Now, over the course of Hivebent, their relationship appears to evolve and get a bit more balanced, but it still carries these overtones of "I will protect you, and you will handle my outbursts." Notably, when Equius goes to seek the Highb100d, and leaves Nepeta behind.
And of course not after roleplaying as each other.
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Which. I mean come on.
But notably, Nepeta doesn't just stay put! She doesn't really want to be protected all the time! And when push comes to shove, she leaps out to defend, or at the very least avenge, her best friend.
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And then, we don't really see Nepeta for a while!
Until we get to the end of the comic.
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During their whole "date", Nepeta seems a little uncomfortable with Jasprose's affections. She may be a bit flattered, but Jasprose also fully admits later that she was frankly looking for any girl she could fall in love with after the tragic death of her girlfriend and possible more tragic untimely resurrection.
But then the pivotal handshake happens, and we get to see who is perhaps the most happy being in all of Homestuck.
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Then we get into some of the only actual discussion of gender in Homestuck. We don't get much besides that, for both of their lives, Dave and Nepeta both felt something was missing. Something felt wrong that they couldn't quite place that made them both miserable. I don't think it's a massive stretch to say this could be gender dysphoria.
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And when they combine, they feel the fullness of the gendered experience they were missing, melded together like a two-piece puzzle.
Now while the abovementioned "strong identities as a boy and a girl" might throw you off, I would point to what Victoria Lacroix said about this passage: note the lack of the word "respectively." I rest my case.
Now full disclosure, my personal headcanon for Nepeta is genderfluid transmasc. The whole affinity for roleplaying lends itself to a more shifting identity and I just think Nepeta, given more time, would love exploring the little nooks and crannies of gender.
This isn't going into the more complicated shit with Gender when it comes to Equius and Dirk and all that other stuff. Here's a quick summary so you can see exactly how my brain is broken.
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Anyways, thanks for the question! I hope I answered my thoughts on the topic adequately! If other people have more to say about this, please feel free to add on!
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buccini555 · 25 days
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𝐁𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐇𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐜𝐚𝐧𝐨𝐧𝐬 - 𝐒𝐞𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐭 𝐑𝐞𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬𝐡𝐢𝐩
♡ What would it be like to have a secret relationship with one of the city's most dangerous gangsters?
♡ H e a d c a n o n s/I m a g i n e s .ᐟ .ᐟ
♡ 𝑭𝒕. Ran Haitani
𝐌𝐚𝐧𝐣𝐢𝐫𝐨 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐨 . 𝐒𝐚𝐧𝐳𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐫𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐲𝐨 . 𝐊𝐚𝐤𝐮𝐜𝐡𝐨 𝐇𝐢𝐭𝐭𝐨 . 𝐑𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐨𝐮 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢 . 𝐑𝐚𝐧 𝐇𝐚𝐢𝐭𝐚𝐧𝐢 ♡ . 𝐊𝐨𝐤𝐨𝐧𝐨𝐢 𝐇𝐚𝐣𝐢𝐦𝐞 . 𝐓𝐚𝐤𝐞𝐨𝐦𝐢 𝐀𝐤𝐚𝐬𝐡𝐢
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tw: amost none, but, excessive jealousy mention and control/manipulation mention
𝗥𝗮𝗻 𝗛𝗮𝗶𝘁𝗮𝗻𝗶: Ran isn't very sociable when he's in a bad mood, but as soon as he saw you pass by him, He can't deny that he was interested in you, Ran's the flirtatious type so he immediately went to start some conversation with you, Ran knew that ge wouldn't be able to forget you after the first time, so he wanted to repeat the dose by maintaining a secret relationship with you.
He is somewhat detached and often doesn't seem to care, even so, he cares a lot about you, even if he denies it, he truly loves you, Ran is jealous, ends up often being controlling, he ends up wanting to take over he takes control of his life and becomes easily enraged when he feels that you are not treating him exclusively, the tall one likes attention, thus demanding a lot of your precious time.
A few months into your relationship, he invited you to live with him in a large, extremely well-decorated house, even though he intended to keep your relationship a secret, Ran is very discreet about it, even so, he rarely ends up taking you on dates outside from home, you usually go to the mall together, especially to stores, Ran loves the fact that she can choose your clothes and is meticulous in the way you chooses to dress you just to please him visually.
Not everything is sweet in your relationship, Ran makes a point of reminding you how dangerous he can be every time you argue and you think about leaving, sometimes he even shows some signs of aggression towards you even though he's calm most of the time, another fact about Ran is that he often ends up being extremely demanding, he wants you to have the perfect relationship but often doesn't even make an effort to achieve that goal, he just keeps you a secret for safety's sake, but, secretly, it's also out of jealousy, he doesn't want other guys to know who his one and only is.
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tw: pet names (honey, baby, babygirl, dollface, sweet, hottie), car in sex mention, sex in public place, unprotected sex, words like (bitch, slut and others like), creampie, pregnancy mention(?), cigarette use
That night alone in your house, Ran had committed to taking you to dinner after another tedious meeting at Bonten's, later, as soon as the older Haitani returned to your home, he felt admired as soon as he entered the living room door with you the waiting dressed in a black dress covered by an overcoat that he had bought you last week, Ran gave you a kiss and soon after went to take a shower, ending up not taking long to return to the room where you were still anxiously waiting for him to the date in night.
"You look so beautiful, honey, were you waiting for me?" He questions, looking you up and down, passing the tip of his tongue over his own lips, leaving aside the suit he was carrying on his arm to hug you.
"Yes, baby." You replied as he cupped your face to kiss his cheek. "You're perfect, my princess, queen..." Smiling again, Ran exclaimed right away. "C'mon, sweetie?" You questioned, looking into the taller man's eyes. "C'mon, sunshine." Holding your hand and kissing it subtly, he gently held your arm and took you to his new car that was already on the street.
The place was a bit far away, Ran preferred to take you to more distant places, so they soon ended up taking some kind of road, the weather wasn't as cold that night as you thought, so he ended up taking off his coat and the kept in the back seat of the car, meanwhile, you can notice Ran watching you from the corner of his eye a few times, your dress was really short and with a little cleavage, so, drawing the taller's attention, the wind blew through your hair as you watched him drive intently.
"C'mon, honey, tell me what you want in that pretty dress." Ran said laughing as she increased the speed of his newest luxury car.
You smiled back, placing your hand on his thigh and squeezing it subtly. "What do you want, Ran?" Looking at him, you questioned.
"What do you think? I definitely want my future wife, preferably, on top of me." He responded in a serious tone, stopping the car on a shoulder on the side of the road where there was little lighting. "You're a pervert..." Laughing, you said in a low tone.
"You already know what to do, don't you my princess?" As soon as the car was parked, you unbuckled yourself and climbed on top of Ran who soon covered your mouth, sealing your lips with a warm kiss, you could feel his member through the tailored pants he was wearing at the moment, doing so you become even more euphoric.
"Don't play with your boss, babygirl." Holding you even closer to him, he slapped you on the ass while pressing your hips into his lap, then Ran wasted no time and lifted your dress, keeping your underwear visible while you were still kissing him, then he put on your panties aside, opening his pants soon after.
"A-are you sure you want to do this here, R-ran? Isn't it... Dangerous?" Feeling how excited Ran remained, you exclaimed, trying to contain your emotions slight noises that you let out.
"I need to fuck right now, fuck if it's dangerous or not, have you forgotten who I am baby?" Ran laughed, slowly lifting his hips and fitting his member inside her without thinking twice. "That tight pussy... Fuck." He said amidst a brief sigh.
"I'll fuck you wherever I want, you know that." Holding your waist while you sat on him, Ran said, also trying to contain the light sighs that he eventually let out, so he ended up keeping your mouth busy with a kiss, holding your hair while you went up and down on his dick and also forcing your hand even more and hips, making you feel him inside you completely.
"I-I can't take it." Holding the taller man's shoulders, you said with your face flushed, each thrust made your intimacy become numb amidst so much eminent pleasure received.
"Be a good bitch, fuck it." Ran just put her hand over your mouth, making you shut up in that instant and made you end up going even faster and putting more force into each sit.
"You didn't ask me to fuck you, huh lil slut?" Ran questioned with a whisper in his ear, making his body shiver.
"N-now... Hold on, my little whore, hold on tight like a good whore." Commenting on his speech, Ran grabbed his hair again, throwing it back slightly and leaving his reddened face visible in front of his eyes.
"You want to cum on my dick, don't you dollface? Tell me, Mmm?" While masturbating you slowly, Ran questioned looking into your eyes.
"R-ran... F-fuck" You shook your head in affirmation, intensifying the act even more.
"Cum for me, c'mon, cum for me, my fucking hottie." Licking his own lips again, he said, Ran was also overcome by lust, it wouldn't take long for him to reach his limit, even so, he wanted to go faster just to test the limits of his body.
"R-ran, please, please..." Moving your hips back and forth, you couldn't take the pleasure anymore, you just felt your intimacy soaking with each movement.
"S-shit, babygirl, you drive me fucking crazy." Ran said tilting her head back.
"Fuck me completely, Ran" Soon after, you responded.
"You're insatiable, aren't you?" He looked you up and down, watching every movement of your body, no longer able to contain his excitement.
"If you don't get off me I'm going to fill you up, bitch..." Panting, Ran exclaimed.
You continued, keeping the taller man's speech uninhibited. "I told you to fuck me completely, Haitani."
"...Disgraceful bitch." Before finally reaching your limit and dumping all that hot liquid inside and deep inside you, Ran spoke.
After that, you remained on top of him for a moment, you were both exhausted after that sex, so Ran just wanted to drive home slowly.
"If we have a son, at least he will be beautiful like me, don't you think?" Opening the window and lighting a cigarette while you faced the passenger seat, Ran said jokingly. "Fuck you, Ran." Sullenly, you responded immediately. "...I'd rather fuck you." Taking a drag of cigarette, he told you in a testing tone.
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thedevilssinner · 6 months
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Elven soulmates - Astarion x Elf!Tav - Headcanon
I listened to one song and for some reason it screamed Astarion x Tav at me. This man is really ruining my life 😅
Anyway… the song was ‘IDK you yet’ and I just thought about the two of them being soulmates or something like that and then I found a thread on https://www.enworld.org about elven relationships and someone mentioned soulmates which got me searching and I found this page https://www.realmshelps.net/charbuild/races/elf/leaf.shtml where is mentioned that elves can find someone they call their thiramin which should mean soulmate in elvish language. 
Here’s the part from the https://www.realmshelps.net :
Upon reaching adulthood, elves continue their sexual explorations. Eventually, though, each discovers that his heart has developed a capacity for lasting and exclusive love. Like most other important things in their lives, elves describe this in mystical terms. They believe that a person's spiritual progress is unknowingly intertwined with that of another. This soulmate is called a thiramin. Upon meeting his thiramin, an elf's heart fills with passion and certainty. Ninety-nine times out of a hundred, the other party is felled by the same feeling of immediate and eternal devotion. (Though rare, an unrequited feeling of thiramin is always disastrous, bringing centuries of wrenching heartbreak. Sufferers often commit suicide or succumb to the temptations of evil.) Elves almost always feel thiramin for people they meet for the first time: In other words, visitors from other communities. Intermarriage between communities strengthens the bonds of communication between settlements, allowing them to quickly band together against the armies of evil that march across the land.
Now… You can imagine what that did to me, when I thought about the idea of Elf Tav knowing Astarion before he was turned into a vampire so… here’s some headcanons. Suffer with me.
Tav and Astarion met in Baldur's gate. Tav being new to the city. Young elf exploring the world outside their home.
Maybe they met in an art gallery or a tavern or some other place… that’s up to you, but when their eyes met, they immediately knew the other one was their thiramin. Heart beating wildly as they smile at each other.
They start dating, of course. Trying to get to know each other and spend as much time together as possible. 
I think that Tav would call Astarion their star… or maybe even ‘my starry night’
Astarion would call them ‘my moon’ (idk, I just love the idea of them using moon and stars as pet names)
Or… inspired by Game of Thrones - Astarion would call Tav ‘my sun and stars' while Tav would call him ‘the moon of my life’
Maybe they dated for a year or two, thinking about buying a house together.
But then Astarion was beaten ‘to death’ by the Gurs.
Tav could immediately tell that something was terribly wrong. The connection they felt with Astarion severing and sharp pain piercing through their heart. Panicked, they tried to find Astarion, going to his home but they already came too late.
Their blood turned into ice when they saw the mercenaries from the Flaming Fist already around his home. Seeing them carrying an awfully pale and beaten body of Astarion. (I don't remember if it was mentioned if Astarion lived in a Lower or Upper city before he was turned, so I chose a Lower city 🤷🏻‍♀️) (Also, not sure how and where exactly were he turned so I hope this is fine)
After a few days, Tav still couldn’t comprehend what truly happened. They felt just… empty. As if every color, every piece of happiness was ripped away from their soul. Not even able to visit Astarion’s grave because of that.
When Tav's family found out, they came to them, taking them to their homeland, because they knew how bad losing your soulmate could end for an elf. Tav fell into a deep grief and depression that lasted almost 100 years, doing some questionable things here and there until they started to function again.
On the other side - Astarion was beaten by Gurs but his final death came from Cazador, the change itself working just like if he truly died. His connection to Tav is severed and the shock of his change into a vampire erases all memory of them from his mind.
And then the 200 years of torture begin. Astarion doing anything he could and needed to do for survival. Flirting and luring victims to Cazador. He was good at it, great even, but something always felt wrong. 
Well, everything he did for Cazador was wrong, but touching another person, sleeping with them, and whispering words of love to them seemed wrong for another reason he couldn't understand. It was as if his subconscious was always trying to tell him something, but he couldn't say what.
There was just always something wrong with the victims. Wrong eye color, wrong tone of voice or even their pet names they sometimes used for him. 
Is he missing something? Someone? Longing for the embrace of a specific person that is unknown to him.
He always blamed his vampirism for this feeling. Thinking that’s just how it is. The feeling of wrongness and emptiness residing in him for the 200 years of his unlife.
Until the Mind Flayers and Nautiloid.
But back to Tav:
After a hundred years of grief, Tav finally started to get better. Diving into learning the profession/class they have chosen. Trying to enjoy life as much as they could, but the emptiness never fully disappeared. As if part of their soul was still gone.
They even tried to date, pressured by their family to at least try, but when their new partner tried to kiss them… they just couldn’t do it, dull pain spreading through their body and guilt flooding their mind. They immediately break up with the person and decide never to find a partner again.
But apart from that, they were relatively happy. Another 100 years slowly drifting away, the memories of Astarion remaining, if a little faded.
Until the Mind Flayers and Nautiloid.
Game plot:
Tav was walking with Shadowheart and Gale when they heard someone call for help.
Of course, they immediately headed for the voice, trying to help all the survivors of the crashed ship.
But when they finally came to the person they heard, the blood ran cold in their veins, the weapon they held falling from their grasp. It was like seeing him for the first time in their life but at the same time not… Astarion.
They notice that he looks different. His eyes are the wrong color and he’s so pale… but it’s him. They know it is because their soul sang when their eyes locked… but how? 
“Hurry, I’ve got one of those bran things…” Astarion's voice trailed off as he fixed his eyes on Tav and gasped as an unfamiliar sensation filled his body. It was as if everything finally clicked and his mind was flooded with memories he didn't know he had.
That's how far I've come with this idea. I'm not sure how it would have gone on, but I imagine it would have taken a while for Tav and Astarion to become partners again. Both mourning the years they could have spent together if it weren't for Cazador. Tav learning to love the new Astarion he has become, because he was different from the elf they knew before and Astarion learning to love again overall.
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tossawary · 3 months
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One of my favorite Discworld books is actually one of the more obscure ones, "Moving Pictures", which is about the invention of films and the movie business in this fantasy world that has dwarves and trolls and wizards and so on. It has its rough patches like every early Discworld book, but Ginger's speech about people who were born in the wrong time or wrong place for their dreams really gets to me in a good way, and I love all of the references to classic films and commentary on fame and creativity. It also has classic characters like Gaspode the Talking Dog and C.M.O.T. Dibbler, and it introduces Detritus's romance with another troll named Ruby.
Perhaps most importantly to me is that this book introduces Ponder Stibbons, who is a wizard, and who goes on in later books to be one of the most important members of the Unseen University (he holds like twelve different positions), in that he's one of the few people who can competently manage a project and so ends up managing nearly everything. (Bear with me, it's been a while since I read any Discworld and my memory is a little rough.) In "Moving Pictures", Ponder is the classmate (roommate?) of a fellow named Victor Tugelbend, who is one of the main characters.
Victor begins the book as a career student, in that a wealthy relative left him a great deal of money exclusively for school; so as long as he STAYS in school, all of his living expenses are paid for. If Victor graduates, that's the end of the money. If Victor drops out, that's the end of the money. But if Victor manages to hit a specific mark range in the 80s every year, then he gets to stay on for another year and try again, and so Victor is perhaps the most dedicated and knowledgeable wizardry student in the university's history, because you have to know what the right answer is in order to intentionally get a certain number of the questions wrong, so that you can continue to coast along on your college fund.
Ponder's graduation is (accidentally) Victor's fault, because Victor runs away to get into the movie business. (I won't spoil what happens, but it's VERY funny.) Now, I like to imagine after the events of the book, after Ponder holds a faculty position in the university, Victor comes BACK to the university occasionally as a disgustingly well-paid external consultant, which drives Ponder UP THE FUCKING WALL. Like, people are so stingy all of the time but SOMEHOW the university budget has room to bring your offensively handsome dropout roommate back just to say, "Hmm, yes, that looks bad. Have you tried turning it off and on again?" I'd throw a fit, honestly. (As soon as Ponder has enough seniority, he probably puts his foot down to stop this if Victor isn't actually useful. Maybe he is, idk, but maybe not for THAT consulting fee.)
I also like to imagine that Victor Tugelbend and Theda "Ginger" Withel are still together, maybe even still acting (badly? mediocre-ly? decently?) together, in some dingy little theatre (Ginger is the director and runs their acting troupe like a tyrant) where the front seats are regularly filled with middle-aged folks who still sigh over the memories of moving pictures. (Moving pictures are now, presumably, VERY illegal in Ankh Morpork.) Victor and Ginger have only because even more attractive as they've gotten older, which is EVEN MORE OFFENSIVE to poor Ponder because his former movie star former roommate is married to another gorgeous former movie star?! I'd throw another fit.
Anyway, I think Ponder deserves to have an affair with a pair of aging former movie stars. I like to imagine this purely because I think it's funny. He seems kind of busy for marriage, so joining someone else's marriage part-time might be good for him. It probably makes most of the rest of the Unseen University faculty breathlessly envious and that really does it for him.
And I think that this affair would OF COURSE be covered by every newspaper and tabloid in the city, including The Times, and William de Worde and Sacharissa Cripslock don't fully understand why their entertainment reporter is so breathlessly excited about people who were famous over a decade ago? (Supermarket tabloids love to tell me about alleged affairs of people who were famous 20+ years ago.) The article on Victor Maraschino and Delores De Syn's failing marriage* is their bestselling newspaper in months and William puts his head down on his desk in despair. (He's fine. This happens on a weekly at least basis. He just needs a minute.)
*Victor and Ginger are very happy with this situation, actually. They're going to take Ponder to dinner to go on a double date with Ruby and Detritus soon. Victor and Ponder are going to get distracted arguing about some of the Inadvisably Applied Magic research projects, but that's fine, because Ginger wants to talk to Ruby about this one-troll-woman-show concept. (Detritus will proudly hand out tickets at the Watch station and accidentally intimidate all of his coworkers into accepting the invitation.)
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somelazyassartist · 3 months
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To go with my last post about Thistle acting capital-W Weird™ around Laios, it really does make perfect sense when you think about their history from Thistle's perspective instead of through Laios' like we actually see.
Imagine being Thistle, and you're like, I don't know, 14, and you're the royal court jester and adoptive son of your King. And you just got a baby brother and you're so excited about it. It is, without doubt, the happiest day of your life so far. While you're celebrating a few of your family's servants and guards come in to help. One seems somewhat confused about the situation but you probably assume he's just a new hire, it makes sense to bring in added security when there's a new prince around. You don't see this knight again anytime afterwards, but you're not exactly in charge of hiring or firing guards, so it's not really any of your business where he wandered off to.
You are Thistle, and you're now probably around 40 or so, still rather young for an Elf but a fine young man nonetheless. You're all dressed up to the nines and eager to perform your newest flute composition in honor of your little brother's wedding, and you're so, so proud of how far he's come. You helped your father raise him well. And just as the ceremony's about to kick up, and the people are starting to get drunk and make merry and dance, the King, your father, collapses. Poison, assassination, you hear people cry out. But as you run towards him you slam right into one of your guards- and have the extremely fleeting thought of "WAS that one of our guards? I haven't seen them around but they seem so familiar somehow"- but as soon as the thought occurs you're snapped right back into the present, and the fact that your father was murdered right in front of your eyes, and that you couldn't do a thing to stop it.
It's been a small time now, enough that you've had time to lay your King to rest, and to prepare your brother for the throne. It's his coronation day. You should be happy- you are PROUD, of course, of how far your little brother has come- but it is not the joyous day that you would have hoped for, and instead one of mourning for you. And looking around the room as the Kingdom's crown changes bearers, you see a guard, rather out of place. And this time, you have time to process why he feels so strange here. You've seen this man before. You KNOW you've seen this man before. This is the man who you have seen exclusively on the best day of your life and the worst, with no trace of him elsewhere in your life, and he is here, now, again. And for one who is clearly a Tallman, he hasn't aged a single day. There is something wrong with him, and with you, and you feel that if you keep crossing paths it will only end in disaster for you. So you try to kill him. And he disappears, right in front of your eyes. You don't see him around after this. You pray you never will again.
You are now The Mad Sorcerer- no longer, even, the false name given to you by your King. Only the title used by those who want to kill you remains in people's minds. It's been so long now. You can't even count how many years it's been, but you know your life has reached centuries upon centuries past what you were meant to live. And so has everyone you've ever cared about. In these years you have done everything you can to preserve the last bit of what you can call home, trapping yourself and your entire kingdom in an oasis of immortality. So what if the people may grow to resent you? You're protecting them. It's not your fault people may mistake your kindness for cruelty. Though many adventuring parties have tried, none have gotten through your defenses, so as long as you keep focused on your goal things will be fine. Except for this last week or so, where one particularly troublesome party has been making their way further than most would dare venture. And you swear on your Kingdom's throne, if this party includes who you think it includes, you are going to have a fucking aneurysm.
You are the Lord of this Dungeon, and unfortunately for you, your house has just been broken into. Even more unfortunately for you, you know exactly who did it. When you step through your front door, everything is unsettlingly clean. You wonder why in the world the man following you for your entire life would take the time to tidy your house if he's here to psychologically torture you. And then a thought hits you like a punch to the gut, and you rush upstairs, and you see all of your diaries taken out of their hiding spots. And you know that if they took a look through them they would find roughly 200 pages of glittery pink gel pen writing out repeatedly,
✨ This motherfucker again ✨
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niki-phoria · 6 months
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pairing: gamer!niki x gn!reader (no pronouns used) genre: fluff word count: 662
includes: gamer niki, non idol au, mentions of live streaming, lots of fluff
a/n: inspired by this post from @lovelylusts !! i hope you don't mind me taking some inspo from your idea <33
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gamer bf!niki who mercilessly beats you at mario kart 
— he plays dirty too
— blocks the screen so you can’t see where you’re going, reaches over to tickle you until you drop your controller, distracts you until the time limit passes
— sometimes he does it intentionally just to see your pout
— he lets you win before you stop playing tho, just to see you smile
— if the other members are around while you’re playing they’ll purposely get in niki’s way just so you can win
— he pretends to hate it but the smile on his face says otherwise
gamer bf!niki who teaches you how to play his fav games
— it’s your fav bonding activity to do together
— he’s very cliche about it too
— niki sits behind you, arms wrapped around your waist, hands placed over yours as he helps you press the buttons on the controller
— the type to press kisses against your neck/shoulder when you pass levels or get better too
— probably tickles your sides when you accidentally mess up too lmao
gamer bf!niki who lets you play on his accounts (at the expense of his rank)
— he’ll even purposely go back to intro sequences just so you can see how to play
— niki is extremely patient while explaining everything to you
— he’ll do that thing where he puts his hands on top of yours and shows you how to use the controllers/play the game
— the members call him a simp
— he totally is one
gamer bf!niki who never lets you pay for your own games
— even if he has no interest in whatever you want, he’s willing to spend all of his money on whatever console/game you want
— helps you set up your account and figure out all of the controls too
— niki will play whatever you want whenever you want to
— you always get to decide what game(s) you’re playing for the night
gamer bf!niki who will always be your player 02
— doesn’t even let you think about playing with anyone else
— even if he’s literally falling asleep while you’re playing niki will sit next to you and follow you around your animal crossing island
— he’s totally willing to carry your team on pvp games too lmao
— massacres the other team and then turns to you like “good job jagi :D you got them all”
— he enjoys games the most when he’s playing with you but don’t tell anyone that
gamer bf!niki who makes servers just for the two of you
— he goes out of his way to hide them from his hyungs too
— probably had to kick heeseung off of at least one mc server lmao
— he gets super into it too
— makes a million different servers just to annoy you
— he doesn’t name them either you have to scroll through a list until you find “new world #18” to get which one you want
— “ki which one was the bedwars server again?” “...world number eight. i think”
gamer bf!niki who always invites you onto his streams
— exclusively streams with his members and you
— it doesn’t matter if you have your own channel or not he’ll bring you on whenever he can (or whenever you want to)
— if you do have your own channel, he goes out of his way to shout you out
— he will not rest until you have more follows than him
— “niki the numbers don’t mean anything to me” “but you deserve the support of the entire world”
— it’s really sweet honestly
gamer bf!niki who loves you so so much
— it’s mostly the little things
— the blue light glasses you bought him to prevent eye strain, your gentle hand and shoulder massages whenever his body gets sore, your smile when you drag him out on long walks just so he gets some fresh air
— niki truly adores you
— and he does everything he can think of to makes sure you know it
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marsprincess889 · 7 months
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About Bharani
Fate, The female and Desire.
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Venus ruled, Mars's sign, Rahu's birth, Saturn's debilitation.
A kind of love letter to myself and other bharanis, especially bharani moons.
So, aren't we amazing? 😄 jk, but in all seriousness, I have some opinions and want to express them.
We're mleccha(outcaste) and venus ruled. What the hell is that? We're precious, that's the truth.
If there is one nakshatra that caters to females exclusively, this has to be it. This is no male territory. They wouldn't even understand. They don't. Think of how helpless they are when a female is birthing, how clueless they are about what menstruating feels like. We know some things have to be gatekept, for our sake. That's what we are about: guarding, protecting, gatekeeping, and we do it harshly, mercilessly, there's no other real way of doing it anyways.
I want to talk about what i think Bharani nakshatra is truly about: Fate.
Fate, choicelessness, being at the mercy of higher beings, authority, hierarchy...
Bharani's symbol is widely known to be the yoni(female sexual organ), a gateway to another world. Another symbol is the boat. In Greek mythology, souls were transported to the underworld via a boat. In various cultures, when a person died, people would put the corpse on a boat and let it burn while it floated away on water. Bharani-death association is no news, but why are females the key to all this?
After the freedom in Ashwini, the Sun's exaltation, we come to restraint, and not restraint from our own will, but the restraint we have no choice but to accept. This is the first nakshatra where we see the female. This is Saturn's debilitation, and amidst all this restraint we have the birth of planet Rahu, the birth of desire. Makes for a thrilling combination, does it not? While the male is cerebral, solar, the female is material. She IS the nature. While the male does, female is. The male's the user, the female's the used, and she can be used unfairly, poorly, incorrectly. This is the place where the female gets her revenge. Bharani is like a protection mechanism for ladies, she's given the right to refuse and if that right is violated, the will get her revenge. I'd say she has the power, but that would be wrong, because she IS power.
After all, all that male energy needs grounding, or it will disperse, that's why the female and her body, as well as mother nature that we all live on, are vessels_ material manifestations of the male energy that they hold. Bharani is about the rules that the universe is governed by, the unchangeable rules, the simple truths that have to be accepted. When you realize that the female perfection can be so easily ruined by the incorrect use of male energy, the choicelessness gains a whole new meaning in this context. It's the female that is choiceless, she's simply replicating the energy given to her on the material plane, giving it a shape, its proper shape, and if they don't like what they see, the blame should not be placed on the feminine.
So the female is the material and the rules,the boundaries, the limitations. That's why, in the most stereotipical way, many men fear women or are annoyed by them. The fate cannot be escaped, fortunately or unfortunately, and it does not really care what any individual thinks, it's much bigger than that.
Mythologically, various cultures have attributed fate to the feminine. The fates in greek mythology, three women with their threads of human fate, are one one of them. Another one that comes to mind is the norse goddess Frigg. Although I wouldn't coorelate her to Bharani, I think it's interesting that the highest standing(debatable) Norse goddess has a spinning wheel and a spindle, and it had been said that she knows the fate of everyone and eveything but keeps silent. Another interesting example would be Arianrhod from Welsh mythology. Her name literally means "The Silver wheel". Her various symbols include the tools used for weaving. The wheel-fate coorelation is apparent, and it's also interesting that fate is something to be "weaved" in all these mythologies I've mentioned.
The movie Brave(2012) comes to mind, where the rebellious princess Merida wants to change her fate, without any spoilers, there's a scene in the end where she has to repair a tapestry to avoid some disaster. She also has a tumultuous relationship with her mother, something that is also closely connected to Bharani. A really good example of this is the movie Ladybird starring Saoirse Ronan and Laurie Metcalfe, both Bharani moons.
Now we come to the part where I mention my personal life. As Bharani moon my relationship with my mother has been chaotic and full of tension, it's not exactly easy to talk about or explain. I've also noticed this in almost every Bharani person I ever knew. We always have that passion to stand up to authority and injustice, and it frequently leads to quarrels.
TRIGGER WARNING (gaslighting)
So I always thought that the gaslight gatekeep girlboss term was very Bharani. We've discussed the gatekeeping part, the girlboss part is obvious, and about gaslighting... the yoni is called "the great deluder"(source_claire nakti. Had to credit her!).
I want to talk about the movie Tangled and about Rapunzel's tale in general. The original story goes like this: A couple want a child(that venus, rahu's birth, desire theme) and the wife is pregnant(another bharani symbol) and she's craving a plant- rapunzel, that grows in their neighbor's garden(again, the desire-craving theme). Their neighbor is a sorceress. The husband ultimately steals the rapunzel, but he is caught by its rightful owner. They strike a deal: he can take all the rapunzel he wants in exchange for the baby. The man agrees.
After some time, the baby girl is born, and the witch comes to claim her. She names her Rapunzel, after the plant, and eventually, when she's twelve, locks her up in a tower. Let's pause for a moment to note the fact that we already have the Bharani themes of karma, cause and effect, desire and now claim and ownership(bharani, as the first venus-ruled nakshatra often tries to claim things and label them as their own and then gatekeep it harshly, just like the sorceress in this story. It's also interesting that the OWNED is also feminine).
Now, I really relate to Rapunzel. I also feel like I'm always missing something and that I could attain if only i could escape my current circumstances(the tower). Despite this state, I'm also full of desire and enthusiasm. When I was 8 (?) I won the tickets for my family to the premier of Tangled at my friend's birthday party. I obviously loved it(I still do), loved the story, the animation, THE MUSIC, Eugene... but never did I ever imagine that it would be so emotionally relevant to my life 12 years later. I kinda cracked the code and realised why I love it so much, it's cause she's basically me, and to be honest, she's every human in the truest, simplest way possible.
Anyways, let's continiue wuth the story. Rapunzel is locked in and while she's safe from the world, she's not safe from her "mother". Here I want to move over to the movie Tangled, but before that I'll finish the original. A prince finds her, they become lovers behind the sorceress's back, she eventually finds it out because Rapunzel can't keep her mouth shut, she cuts off Rapunzel's long golden hair and exiles her. When the prince comes to the tower he is greeted by Dame Gothel instead of Rapunzel, she tells him he's not to see Rapunzel again, he falls from there into the rose bushes and blinds himself. After years of wandering, he and Rapunzel finally find each other, Rapunzel's tears heal his blindness, they go to his kingdom and live happily ever after. Now, to Tangled.
The relationship between Rapunzel and and Gothel in Tangled is explored well enough for the audience to realize that she's abusive and a gaslighter(watch cinema therapy on youtube, they have a video about Tangled. They're also very wholesome). She's lying to her to keep her to herself, not really caring about her at all. The way Rapunzel feels misunderstood by the person who raised her feels very personal to me. This theme of gaslighting is very Bharani, as well the theme that love conquers all which is prevalent in the original tale. Also, I think that the damsel in distress archetype is very Bharani, as is the princess in the tower trope. She is power herself, so she's this completely passive power, waiting to be seen and be of use, longing for the other side while being trapped(saturn's debilitation). Bharani is about that leap of faith, to approach the female, to stand up to authority, to be brave, to follow your heart...
My another point is what drives these actions, which is desire and love. Overcoming fear through desire is the theme of Bharani. That's the very basis of life. There are tons of things to be wary of, but if we had no desire, no lust for life, we might not have lived at all. It's no secret that life and death, or birth and death, nourish each other. It's simply a matter of time(saturn, the material. The illusion of time is nessecary for life, limitations are nessecary for life, as bharani teaches us, the point is, are your limitations correct for you and your desires?), it's a process created by the illusion of time, and all that is driven by desire. While analyzing the tale of Rapunzel, I've noticed that most people focus on her long golden hair, ignoring what this tale is truly about, which is destiny, karma, cause and effect, bravery, how desire can lead to actions that have undoable consequences, how helplessly we are driven by desire.
One of my favourite movies, Tristan + Isolde (2006) is about the famous couple written about in medieval texts. They live in a cruel world but they're still driven by love, even though everyone and everything around them urges them towards restraint. They choose the limitation based on their hearts, knowing of the consequences that they would most likely have to face. I won't spoil it for you, but there's a quote in the end that i think really represents the essence of Bharani, at least, from the human perspective: " I don't know if life is greater than death, but love was more than either." This is very poweful. Life and death are just opposite sides of the same coin, death leads to birth, birth leads to death, and it's all driven by desire, it's all driven by love. And whether or not we have choice in all of this, we still simply have to accept the truth, we have to accept our truest limitations, as that is only way of growth and self-realization.
I'll leave you to that movie, that quote and this song. Love all of you, take care ❤
Please, interact with me. Like, reblog, COMMENT, especially if you're bharani, I'd love to hear your thoughts.
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