#but sabine isn't entirely emotionally healthy either and due to her Specific Trauma she tends to swing back and forth | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

jessicas-pi · 11 months

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So This Was A Little More Angsty Than I Recalled...

We’re probably both going to be bruised black and blue by the time this is over, Ezra thinks, blocking a hard swing and throwing it right back. The sun was setting when they started, and it’s nearly dark now.

Sabine’s eyes glow too gold for comfort in the dusky night. Just like he has every day for the last month, he bites his tongue and holds back his questions.

Hera and Zeb won’t tell him about whatever happened to Sabine on Malachor, Kanan and Okadiah are as lost as Ezra is, and if Ahsoka knows anything, she’s not telling. When Ezra brought it up to Mom and Dad, they just told him to be there for Sabine.

He’s been trying.

Sabine has not been cooperating.

So after a month of being there with no success, Ezra gave up and decided that it was time for some non-optional friendship bonding time, but even his best efforts at finding a so-bad-it’s-good holofilm like they used to watch together, even after making some really good movie snacks, all for her, she sulked and complained the whole time, being so—so—infuriating that before he knew it, they were yelling in each others’ faces about tropes.

Ezra stopped yelling, stopped the film, took her by the arm, dragged her outside into the Atollon landscape, and said that they were going to beat the crap out of each other.

(For Mandalorians, sparring is training, recreation, and even courtship. He figured… maybe it would work as therapy, too?)

He doesn’t feel bad about throwing the first punch, because she hit back twice as hard. Ezra thinks his lip is split from a hard hit to the front of his helmet, and Sabine’s knuckles are scraped raw and bloody. They circle each other, slower now than when they started. Her hair has blown out of her braid and sticks to her face in the heat.

It’s a little bit pretty, but now definitely isn’t the right time to think about that.

Sabine rolls one shoulder—he thinks it’s where he landed a decent punch.

“Had enough, tin can?” she demands, but the tension has started to drain from her body and she sounds a little closer to playful than he thought she could ever be again.

“Not if you’ve still got that attitude, wizard girl.”

“You’re gonna regret that,” Sabine warns. She settles into a stance, rocking a little, coiled like a spring.

“Probably,” Ezra agrees.

She draws a breath, and Ezra must have blinked or something, because in the space of an instant, she’s flown at him. He can barely see her in the dark and even the night vision in his helmet doesn’t help.

But he has a split second of advantage. In pure chance, she overextends, and he slams into her, sending them both tumbling through the Atollon dust.

She’s up on her feet again right away—or at least she would be, but Ezra snags her wrist, and drags her back down, flipping over so she’s neatly pinned beneath him.

All he needs is a knife to hold to her throat and it would be a near-perfect replica of the scene in the holofilm that started their stupid fight in the first place.

Sabine doesn’t say anything. She just lies on her back in the dust, looking up at him with the eyes that always seemed to see through his mask, but now they don’t look like they’re seeing anything. He hopes she’s processing her emotions and not disassociating.

Ezra is about to move off of her when something catches his eye, and he brushes some of her hair away from her face. It clings—not with sweat, but with blood. There’s a cut on her cheek.

“Did I hurt you?” he breathes, not sure what he’s even saying, and he draws away.

Flying up, her hand seizes his wrist, gripping painfully tight, even as her sharpening gaze fixes right where his eyes would be.

Ezra swallows dryly. The look she gives him is making him feel a thousand things that he doesn’t really want to sort out, now or ever.

“Sabine?” he asks. “What…”

He trails off. Her thumb slides to the little space between his glove and his sleeve, pulling the cloth back. Never looking away from his face, she pulls his arm up and softly kisses the pulse of his wrist.

“You’re dangerous, Ezra,” she smiles, breath on his skin.

Then, like the Spectre she is, Sabine is gone.

#ezra and sabine: this is a perfectly normal way to handle our traumas and requited but unacknowledged feelings for each other!#yeah so Sabine still has trauma but it's DIFFERENT trauma so she's slightly better at admitting she has feelings #ezra on the other hand...#'don't be ridiculous i have no feelings whatsoever for sabine. sure i would die for her. that doesn't mean anything.'#(he's secretly afraid that his adoptive buire are still alive and will be not-mad-just-disappointed that he's crushing on a jedi)#but sabine isn't entirely emotionally healthy either and due to her Specific Trauma she tends to swing back and forth #between shutting down/completely ignoring him and basically saying to his face #that the only reason she hasn't pinned him to the wall ripped his helmet off and kissed him senseless is that she respects his creed #which; as you can imagine; is a little confusing for ezra! but it's okay he doesn't need answers this is fine he hAS NO FEELINGS #and okadiah (the only Emotionally Competent person on the Ghost) is watching them like #'i'm no therapist but if i may offer some advice—'#FUN FACT I FINALLY FIGURED OUT WHO TO SWAP ZEB WITH #so he's a jedi and Fulcrum! and Ahsoka was a royal guard to the queen of Shili!#and chopper died instead of okadiah BUT he's a droid so they installed his memory in the Ghost and now he lives in the ceiling #until they can find him a new droid body #twin blades and beskar au #lifeswap au #sabezra

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