#but not rly
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part one
———
They’re not careless.
But they’re not careful, either.
They’ve never bothered discussing whether or not they’re trying to be discreet. It was always just the natural way they went about things. Their friends already have so much to worry about, so much to reckon with. It’s a waste of their limited time to sit them down and announce to them that they’re — what, sleeping together?
This is what Keith tells himself.
He sees the hurt in Lance’s eyes, when he flinches away from his touch. He knows it’s worse still because he is an instigator, because he is so fucking incapable of keeping his hands to himself. His palm will find the small of Lance’s back like a magnet to steel, his shoulder will soften itself so Lance can rest his head. He doesn’t even realize he’s doing it, half the time, doesn’t notice the way he seeks out Lance’s hand or crowds too close to him until he catches someone’s eye, watching them, and springs apart, flings Lance’s away from him like he’s been burned.
I love you.
Isn’t that reason enough?
In the morning Keith wakes up sweltering. In the back of his mind, as it always does, burns the skin-crawling feeling of being watched. There’s no one in the bedroom and he knows it, but shame runs down his spine anyway. Suddenly the blankets twisting his and Lance’s legs together are binding, and the press of their sweat-slick skin tigger is revolting, sticky. The nausea that churns lowly in his belly at all times bubbles infinitely more aggressively than usual, and Keith knows if he doesn’t extract himself immediately he’ll explode; chunks of him will hit the walls and his blood will paint the tile floor. He inches under his skin, bile coats the back of his throat, heart pounding so fast it’s a him.
A low, quiet quiet groaning noise startled the hell out of him. He looks over and Lance is shifting, sliding his arms out from under the pillow and turning slightly, so he’s facing Keith instead of the wall, hands curled into his chest and under his chin.
There’s a pillow crease steamed across his cheek, and his face is smushed by the pillow, forcing his lips to pucker.
Keith smiles.
The roaring in his head quiets somewhat. Without thinking he reaches out his hand, fingertips tracing the creased skin of Lance’s cheek so lightly he hardly touches with anything more than his callouses. His skin is warm to the touch, but not overly so.
Keith lets out a long, hard breath. His heart rate slows. He traces the pucker of Lance’s lip, feeling the curve of his cupid’s bow, noting the tiny scars from where Lance picks the skin when he’s bored or nervous.
Slowly, as if a string is pulling them together, Keith leans down. Somewhere between his pillow and Lance’s his eyes close, and the press of their lips is that much softer.
It should be gross. They both have morning breath, and minutes ago the thought of their bare skin touching made Keith want to throw up, but now the press of Lance’s chapped lips to his is addicting and calming and electrifying.
“Mmf.”
Lance stirs, groggy and half awake, but it’s — this is not the first time he’s woken to Keith’s closeness.
It takes him a few seconds to boot up, for his brain to catch up with the way his hands are already sliding up the back of Keith’s neck, tangling in his hair. Keith knows he’s awake when he feels the flutter of Lance’s absurdly long eyelashes against his cheekbones, when his mouth stretches into a grin too wide to kiss properly.
“Hi,” he mumbles happily. He keeps one hand on the base of Keith’s skull, letting the other one slide coyly down the curve of his shoulder, the dip of his chest, the line of hair under his navel, resting cheekily on the top of his waistband. Every brush of his fingers washes away the burn shame still lingering. “You’re touchy this morning.”
Keith hums. He presses his lips to the corner of Lance’s mouth, to his cheek, to his jaw, down his neck. His stubble must be too light on Lance’s skin because he laughs, airy, smacking his palm on Keith’s scapula. Keith snickers, rubbing his cheek harder along his neck just to make him shriek, revelling in the way Lance wraps his legs around his hips to try and flip him but can’t, the way he shoves and pinches but lets up the second Keith starts to suck a bruise on his collarbone.
He’s so easy.
“Keith,” Lance whines, but it’s breathy and Keith wants to swallow to sound. “Keith, we’re disgusting. Your breath stinks and if I don’t shower I’m going to hurt somebody. Probably you. Do you want me to hurt you?”
Keith reaches up, pressing Lance’s fingers deeper into the flesh of his shoulder, and lets his silence speak for him.
Lance snorts, and Keith knows he has him because he melts visibly. “You dog.”
The hand in Keith’s hair starts to move, combing through the tangled strands, scratching gently at his scalp. Keith doesn’t let up, but he softens in kind, letting his lips on Lance’s skin morph into something softer, more chaste.
“We can screw in the shower?” he offers, voice hopeful. “That’s a good compromise.”
It is a good compromise, but Keith is feeling bold (i love you isn’t that reason enough it’s physical you have ruined everyone you ever loved it’s physical it’s physical it’s physical), so he sets out to guarantee Lance will bend.
He pulls away from Lance’s neck, just slightly, and looks up from under his lashes, widening his eyes just so.
And watched with great pleasure as Lance crumbles.
He shoves Keith’s face away, red-cheeked and huffy, throwing off the covers and stomping to the ensuite. He grumbles all the way there, much of it too low for Keith to hear but much more of it loud and pointed and intentional (Keith knows what zorra means, thanks.)
“I want to actually shower,” Lance says sternly, water droplets flicking off his wagging finger and landing on Keith’s nose.
Keith nods sagely. “We will.”
“In decent time, Akira.”
“Of course.”
“I have stuff to do today.”
“Me too.”
“Minimal shenanigans.”
“Minute.”
The shower lasts well over an hour.
“Wipe the smirk off your face,” Lance demands, but his lips are twitching, too,
Keith grabs him by the waist and dips him, laughing, kissing him soundly and wholly and he wonders what the fuck is his problem. He wonders why he has to be so goddamn resistant to things, why he works himself up so bad, why any of that shit matters. Why can’t he have this? Why can’t he have — one good thing, the one; why can’t he have Lance’s gun-calloused palms on his cheeks and smile pressed to his and deep dark brown eyes warm and pretty and happy and pointed at him? Why can’t he have that? Why can’t things be good and simple, why can’t this be something he can fall into?
I love you.
Isn’t that reason enough?
He’s not careless. He can’t afford to be.
But he’s — loosened. His guard is down. They get dressed and ready for the day and Keith follows Lance out their door and he’s laughing, and his hand is curled around the curve of his waist, and they smell of the same shampoo.
“Does it amuse you to make me late for things, you jackass — oh! Hunk!”
Keith inhales sharp and short. He yanks his hand away like it hurts to keep it there for a second longer, stumbling backwards.
“Hey, guys.”
Something tight and painful coils in his stomach, and his blood turns to lead. Hunk’s expression is carefully, carefully pleasant; soft, even, as he returns Lance’s hug and greeting.
But the pinprick at the back of his neck is back. The shame, hot, crawls down his spine, blooms heavy in the hollow of his chest.
“I’m gonna go — train,” he chokes out, hyperaware of the bruise on Lance’s neck, of the cobweb in the corner of his room, the braid in Keith’s hair; hyperaware of Hunk’s eye on them.
“Aw,” Lance pouts. “You sure?”
Keith can’t manage a verbal response. His throat has closed, aching, dry, desolate. He barely manages a nod.
“We’ll see you at dinner?” Hunk asks, only there’s no request in his voice, and Keith doesn’t miss how his body has curved, slightly; just barely nudging Lance behind him, as if he is to be protected, as if he is to be protected from Keith.
I love you.
You have ruined everything you have ever loved.
Isn’t that reason enough?
Physical, physical, physical.
Keith turns and flees.
#what if keith can not know peace#vld#voltron#lance#lance mcclain#keith#keith kogane#klance#established klance#fwb#but not rly#flower crown au#flower crown#keith angst#klangst#brown eyed lance#black paladin keith#red paladin lance#keith has anxiety#and bad#traumatized keith#my writing#fic#longpost
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Photo
oxytocin
#gaalee#leegaa#gaara#rock lee#naruto#drawings#if this looks like another g/l artwork thats bc i havent checked g/l content in a while sooooooo my b#but not rly
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He finally broke
Even Dally had a breaking point,,
Another sad Dally drawing I’m not sorry, I love him.
Sketches below
#the outsiders#dally winston#dallas winston#book quotes#light angst#reference to Johnny’s passing#johnny cade#ponyboy curtis#the outsiders fanart#the outsiders novel#fanart#digital fanart#my art#tomcat draws#like and/or reblog!#sorry for the angst#but not rly#okay now bye
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I love these guys
#tweek x craig#creek south park#south park craig#tweek south park#tweek sp#craig sp#gay couple#artwork#gay men#young love#yaoi#but not rly#digital art#guinea pig#small animals
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Also you don't realise what you have til it's gone. RIP revali's gale 2017-2023 😭
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My tablet broke but I’m back, here’s these from when I was gone (I painted them too but I like the sketches better so bleh)
Inspired by @chane-vel
Their work is so yum yum tasty and also silly, whimsical and fun
#clone high#topher bus#clone high fanart#tophabe#art#gay#drawing#anime girl#shoujo#yandere sim?#kinda?#but not rly#I was going for ohshc in the Abe one if u couldn’t tell
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I’ve seen the pic of Jemaine in this outfit from the front, didn’t know there was one from behind. 🫠
#jemaine clement#jemaine clemonday#am I wrong for this?#I feel like it’s a bit sneaky#it’s like paparazzi photos#it is also very nice to look at#i’m sorry#but not rly#happy jemaine clemonday to all my darlings
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No but i also literally DID NOT NOTICE that in that one scene where zack is promoted to first and sephiroth smiles when zack comes in
That
That
HE SQUINTY SMILED 💀💀💀💀💀😭😭😭😭😭😭🪦🪦🪦🪦🪦🪦 I KNEW HE SMILE BUT I DIDNT REALIZE HIS EYES SQUINTED SO MUCH WITH SUCH A TEENY TINY SMILE SEPHIROTH IS A SMIZER NO WAYYYYHHH
GAH DEAD DEAD HOW IS IT CANON GOD
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the upd8 was really good like really fcuking good probably the best homestuck upd8 since. before homestuck even ended but holu fuck i'm sad. i went to a drag show after reading it and i'm still sad. dave
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#tenchi universe#tenchi muyo#ayeka masaki jurai#ryoko hakubi#90s anime#oldanimeedit#gif#gifset#guns#but not rly
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Start//End
#baldur's gate 3#astarion#astarion ancunin#bg3#start//end#eden#luce#but not rly#luce cameo really#easter egg even#this song is agony :)
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so. about that.
#pjo#percy jackson#pjoverse#sort of spoilers#but not rly#j be careful around this post if u havent read the books
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he looks so pre-t here 🥰
#i love u tiny background art anime girl caduceus#kiddo say#i luv being insufferable#i will watch tlovm eventually i jus need to remember where to . .#yarrrr....#tlovm spoilers#but not rly
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if somebody told mike the secrets of the universe he would not only find out that will’s in love with him but also abt that time billy almost fucked his mom
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sorry i blep when u call me cute
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Having said that,
burn in hell
#doodle#vent art gob i love that song#older vent art#master frown#a very very very bad unikitty au and im honestly thinking of letting it be part of my dark carebears reboot i write a while ago#mf looks like he could be no-hearts nephew doesnt he? family? 🥺#maybe XD#tw: murder#but not rly#also the song wolf in sleeps clothing by set it off 😩✨️
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