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#but my money is kinda tied up by some other things at the moment
bjtch-craft · 3 months
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"I'm a Rockstar Babe"
Todd Ingram X Bottom Male! Reader
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☆ Summary: [Name] reunites with an old high-school friend turned rockstar things take a turn when they restart their old high-school ways.
☆ NSFW
☆Request: Yes or No
☆ Word count: 2,836
☆Genre: Angst to Smut (Kinda)
☆Warnings: Smut, degradation, manipulation (kinda, tbh I just tried making him cocky but rereading it it sounds like bro is manipulating), Bl♡wjobs, slapping, just douchy rockstar things, spitting (he's one of those ppl)
☆Authors note: Dude, I rewatched the movie and reread the novels, and why is Todd so mf fine like WHAT? And why are there no stories about this man? Anyways enjoy!! (P.s this has been in my drafts for like 2 months now and I've never finished editing it for some reason...)
Also look at the comic version of him like WHAT A CUTIE like yeah sure he's arrogant, narcissistic, uncaring, and may or may not be a pathological liar, and a walking red flag but like that red looking a little orange so??? PRAYING SOME OF YALL READ THIS!!
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Did this count as being a groupie? No. It's not like I'm some obsessed super fan like Joseph I mean for fucks sake I knew Todd in high school [Name] thought as he lay on the mattress of the cheap motel room waiting for Todd to get out of the shower.
10:15 P.M. - some time earlier
[Name] was shoved and pushed around by the hundreds of thousands of fans who had gathered to watch the band play. The band in question was none other than The Clash at Demonhead. [Name] new one of the members (while technically two if you count Envy but they didn’t know each other. They were more of acquaintances really.) Todd Ingram who he was close friends with. Really close.
He'd given him head a couple of times (and slept with him too) but that didn't mean anything to them (yes it did.) it was what Todd considered a "bro-job" whatever the fuck that was. But that's not important (yes it is) what is important is how quickly their friendship ended after he got with Envy. They tried to keep in touch but after the band blew the absolute fuck up he cut ties with him.
Did it hurt? Yes. A lot. But [Name] didn't let it get to him he still supported Todd even if Todd himself didn't know it. [Name] bought every CD, vinyl, and cassette tape, and got tickets to most shows. He even tried to get backstage passes to rekindle his relationship with Todd but the prices were far out of his price range.
There have been times when for a quick second he'd seen Todd after a show or two and waved to him or said a quick word but he didn't recognize him. Which also hurt. How can you not recognize someone you spent almost TEN YEARS of your life with? But [Name] was determined to catch up with his best friend so after pulling a couple of night shifts and saving up some money he... still didn’t have enough.
10: 50 P.M.
"Todd's so hot!"
"Jesus Envys even hotter in person!"
"Why's that chick got a robotic arm?"
These are just some of the things [Name] heard throughout the event which was on the verge of ending.
12:10 A.M. - Later
The concert was over and [Name] pushed and shoved his way out of the venue and quickly rushed towards the back of the building looking for the band.
"Come on please don't tell me I missed them!"
His shoes thudded against the gravel, and as he rounded the corner a gate came into view.
"No. No, no, no, no!"
The gate door was slid open. How safe right?
"Envy? Do you wanna get a bite to eat or something?"
[Name] stopped for a moment as he saw Todd standing there his guitar case in hand talking to Envy. He took a deep breath and stepped through the gates. Fuck?
"T-todd?"
Todd turned to look at him a look of shock and anger upon his face.
"Who the hell let you in" Todd asked as he stepped closer to [Name] his voice coming off as aggressive as his eyes and hair started to glow.
"N-no one the gate was open."
"So you just snuck in?"
"I'm [Name], [First name], [Last name] we went to high school together. Remember?"
Todd's eyes and hair stopped glowing as his hair drifted back down in front of his face.
"You're kidding?!"
Todd dropped his guitar case and ran up to [Name] his tough guy rockstar persona shedding completely. He threw his arms around [Name] and pulled him into his chest. [Name] could feel the heat rising to two places as his face was smushed into Todd's rather large pecs.
"Todd you're squishing me..." [Name] said his voice muffled.
"Sorry!" He pulled away. "Jesus it's been a long time since we've seen each other... I'm a Rockstar!"
"I can see that!"
"Todd, what the fuck is going on," Envy asked?
Todd turned to look at them wrapping his arm around [Name's] waist. "This is [Name] from high school! He's my best friend remember?"
"While to me he looks like a fucking groupie! Let's go" Envy replied.
"I'm not a groupie..."
"Do you think he can come back to the motel with us?"
"No."
"Find some other cheap motel to fuck in," The Bionic arm bitch said.
"He's not a groupie and we're not gonna fuck! He's my friend and I wanna catch up with him!"
"Find. Another. Motel." Envy said the tone of her voice showed her annoyance more than anything.
12:30 A.M.
And they did find a cheap motel in an extremely unsafe part of town. Fits the stereotype, huh? A rockstar takes one of his fans to a cheap rundown-looking motel just to get it in.
[Name] once again was hugging Todd but this time was looking up at him.
"I'm so sorry for ghosting you [Name]."
"It's fine."
Todd's hands traveled down [Name's] back and reached his ass and groped it firmly, making [Name] let out an involuntary yelp. He pushed Todd off of him, causing the blonde boy to let out a laugh.
"What's the matter [Name] just like old times!"
"Todd aren't you dating Envy or something?"
He shifted his weight on his feet annoyingly.
"I'm a Rockstar babe we don't date," Todd said cockily.
"Oh?"
"I'm gonna hop in the shower. I know I reek of sweat... care to join me?"
"Smooth Todd.... real smooth."
He winked at [Name] and waltzed into the bathroom and shut the door behind him. After a minute or two he heard the shower go on.
Did this count as being a groupie? No. It's not like I'm some obsessed super fan like Joseph I mean for fucks sake I knew Todd in high school [Name] thought as he lay on the mattress of the cheap motel room waiting for Todd to get out of the shower.
"Do I wanna do this... again?"
The first time [Name] and Todd ever did anything together was on his eighteenth birthday. They were both unbelievably drunk, and both were bored lying on Todd's bed in silence. One of them now and then would say something, and they would have a short conversation.
"H-heyyy~ [Name] can I ask you for a favor," Todd asked his words coming out slurred.
"Yeah- hic! What'sss ~'s up?"
"Do you think you could um... s-suck me off?"
"Why?"
"Well, I'm one drunk! And two horny as fuck~! So can you?"
"You know what fuck it! You are my best friend!"
[Name] slid his basketball shorts off and then his boxers and grabbed at his length.
"I've never done this before so um... bear with me~."
Todd nodded his head a goofy grin on his face. "Do it as if someone's doing yours."
[Name] took him into his mouth slowly going down inch by inch the girth was almost too much to handle. Almost.
But that was years ago. They were two dumb eighteen-year-olds who were just helping each other out. But [Name] didn't feel that way anymore... but reminiscing on their old days made [Name] slowly begin to get hard in the shorts Todd had given him.
[Name] rubbed himself through the fabric and pushed down on it, making him release a soft moan. He needed Todd he didn't realize how badly he did until right then and there. The door opened to the bathroom, and [Name] quickly through the blanket over his lap.
Todd walked out with just a towel around his waist, his bulge catching [Names] eye as well as his body, which was still wet and glistened in the light.
"What are you doing?"
"Getting another pair of boxers, I forgot to bring them into the shower..." Todd looked at [Name] and noticed the tent that was forming underneath the blanket. "Aw, are you happy to see me like this again, baby?"
"What! No!"
"Come on..." He said huskily. The cockiness was back. "I heard you moan... were you thinking of the times I fucked you? The times you begged me to fill you up? The times I came on that pretty face of yours?"
[Name] could feel his cock growing harder with each question.
"N-no" [Name] whimpered out.
Todd walked to the side of the bed grabbed [Name's] hand and placed it on his groin.
"You miss my fat cock don't you," He asked his voice sounding oddly humiliating.
"I don't have to say anything."
Todd started to move his hips grinding his bulge against the palm of [Names] hand.
"Todd we can't... you have a girlfriend."
"I told you we rockstars don't really - truly date, and if anything, it's just another bro-job, remember?"
[Name] pulled his hand away and sat up and using both hands opened Todd's towel up causing his cock to pop out and slap against his happy trail.
"Fuck~," [Name] whispered out.
[Name] reached out and pumped his cock twice.
"Yeah that's it~ I know you fucking missed it haven't you?"
[Name] let go of Todd's cock and adjusted his position so he was sitting on the edge of the bed. Todd backed up a little.
"Please don't like- hurt me that much. Please?"
Todd chuckled and ran his hand through his wet hair.
"You sweet dumb thing, you know I can't promise that."
[Name] grabbed Todd's cock once more and spat on it and stroked him off spreading the saliva over his cock.
"I haven't done this in a long time... so I'm a little rusty."
Todd smiled down at him. The grin was a mixture of amusement and humiliation.
[Name] placed the tip on his tongue and licked it gently before wrapping his lips around it and slowly going down on it.
[Name] couldn't lie he truly did miss this. Not only did he enjoy it, but it honestly made them closer as friends.
[Name] gagged on the base as he looked up at Todd with tearful eyes.
"Aww you look so cute with my big cock in your mouth," Todd said softly his voice coated in lust as he gently patted [Name's] cheek.
[Name] began to slowly come off his cock before Todd placed a hand on the back of his skull and slammed him back down causing him to gag and for drool to pour out of the sides of his mouth.
"Mmm-hmm-agh." [Name] groaned out.
Todd pulled his cock out of the boy's mouth and slapped it on either side of the guy's cheek.
"You took it so well [Name]~."
[Name] looked up at Todd with innocent eyes, his tongue sticking out a little as he gasped for air.
"Jesus you look so fucking gorgeous."
"I-I think you bruised the back of my throat!"
Todd grabs [Names] chin as he angles his head straight aligning his cock with [Names] lips.
Todd spat on his cock (and on [Names] face) and slammed it down [Names] throat before pulling out. [Name] stuck out his tongue and licked a stripe down his cock.
"You're such a fucking slut baby. I bet you've been craving my cock since you heard about our band haven't you?"
[Name] nodded his head embarrassingly. Todd placed a hand on the back of [Names] head and leaned in, planting a kiss on his lips as his hands traveled down his body. His hands reached the bottom of the boy's shirt and began to pull it up over his head, breaking the kiss in the process.
Todd pushes [Name] down onto the bed by his chest and crawls on top of him, attacking his neck, causing [name] to let out a soft moan. Todd kisses down his neck while unbuckling [Names] belt and gently pulls them off along with his boxers.
"I don't reckon you have a condom do you?"
"I have one in my wallet in my left pocket," [Name] says, his voice barely above a whisper.
Todd grabs [Names] jeans off the floor and pulls out the condom from the wallet before discarding them back onto the floor.
Todd rips the wrapping of the condom off with his teeth and slides the rubber on. He places [Bames] legs on his shoulders and lines himself up at his entrance.
[Name] squeezes his eyes shut as Todd pushes himself into him. A sudden wave of pain and pleasure washes over him, causing him to grab onto the sheets, twisting them in his hands. A soft whimper escapes his lips as Todd continues to push deeper into him.
"Shit- Todd, you're so fucking- ngh~ big!" [Name] whimpered out, causing Todd to look down at him with a cocky grin.
Todd had pushed himself into the other boy and slowly began to pull back out, only to slam back into him, which earned him a low groan.
"Does that feel good?"
[Name] nodded his head and let out a whimper. Todd began to rock his hips in and out of him, the tip occasionally brushing against his prostate. His thirst got faster and quicker he reached down and grabbed [Name's] hands and placed them above his head.
Todd began pounding into [Name]. The sound of skin against skin filled the room as well as screams of pleasure from both boys.
"Ugh~ F-fuck! You're going to har-!" [Name] wasn't able to finish his sentence as Todd delivered a gentle (but still hard) slap across his face.
"Don't tell me what the fuck to do!" Todd growled out.
[Names] cock twitched as pre-cum drizzled down his cock causing a moan to escape from his lips.
"Don't tell me you're into this shit you slut?"
"S-s-shut up Todd~"
Todd smirked and began rocking his hips.
"How bad do you want it?"
"W-what?" [Name] stuttered.
"I can pull out right now and leave and not let you finish you."
"Please don't~ I'll do anything!"
"Then admit it.'
"What?"
"Admit you're a filthy whore" Todd said his voice thick with lust.
"I'm not going to- ah~!"
Todd pulled out of [Name] leaving him feeling empty and somehow even more fucking desperate.
"Todd please" [Name] begged.
"Then say it."
"I-I’m a whore okay? Is that what you want to hear from me? I'm a fucking slut for you okay?!"
Todd looked down at [Name] with a cocky grin.
"Good boy."
Todd leaned back over [Name] and placed a soft kiss on his lips before pushing himself back into him. He wrapped his hand around [Name's] throat and began pounding into him. The sounds of skin against skin filled the room once again.
Todd raised his hand and brought it across [Names] face with enough power to cause a sting of pain leading [Name] to let out a dry moan.
"I can't believe your into this shit!" Todd said with a cheesy grin.
"Shut up!" The boy underneath him whined out.
Todd smirked and removed his hand from [Names] neck and grabbed him by the waist and slowed his thrusts.
"What are you- agh~!"
Todd pulled [Name] into him driving his cock deeper into him pushing past his prostate. [Names] jaw dropped as the sudden feeling causing a high pitched moan to erupt from his throat. Todd took this opportunity and grabbed his jaw holding it open and dipped his thumb into his mouth.
"Don't close your mouth got that?"
[Name] replied with a whimper as Todd's thurst became annoyingly slow as a string of spit slowly began to fall from his lips and landed in [Names] mouth.
[Named] closed his mouth after Todd gave him a look that practically yelled at him, too. Todd's slow thrust became faster and faster. Todd wrapped his hand around [Name's] dick and began jerking him off as [Name] placed his palm at the back of Todd's head.
"I'm so close!" Todd groaned out as his rhythm began to go out of sync.
His movements became harder and harder as he felt himself getting closer and closer to finishing.
"W-where- fuck~ where do you want it?" He moaned out.
"On me..."
Todd placed a hand behind [Names] head as his thurst became sloppy he spat once again at [Name] the salvia covering his face before pulling out and jerking himself off.
"Fuck. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!"
With one final moan ropes of cum erupted from his cock covering [Names] body in white ropes. Todd pumped [Name's] cock for a minute before he came their cum mixing on his stomach. Todd scooped up some of his cum off of the boy's body with his index finger and popped it into [Names] mouth.
"How's it taste?"
"Salty... can you get me a towel?"
1:35 AM
[Name] lay on the cheap hotel's mattress, his head on Todd's chest, listening to his heartbeat.
"Hey, have you ever thought of being a roadie?'
"A what?"
"A roadie helps the band set up... you could be one for us so we could keep in touch and..." He wrapped his hand around [Names] body and groped his ass "Have some more time to ourselves."
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
THIS MAN IS SO FINE ARGH. I NEED HIM SO BAD LIKE I WANT HIM TO FULLY REARRANGE MY INSIDES.
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Authors note!!
Again, sorry for the break. School is still once again kicking my ass :) I do plan on writing more over Christmas break, but I do have like half-written stories in my drafts, so here are some of them. (Some of them have titles, but they are to be determined, so kill me or wtv) .
Darry Jenner x Male reader (Fluff)
Miguel Ohara x Male reader (Smut)
Chad Meeks x Male reader (TBD)
Simon Kalivoda x Male reader (Fluff)
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Anime only watchers and people who aren't caught up with the Manga, BEWARE... Cuz I'm about to discuss Spy X Family Mission 72... You have been warned...! 👌
[SPOILERS AHEAD FROM THIS POINT ON]
OH MY GOD!!! 😱 THIS CHAPTER, MAN...!!! 😵
Okay, okay... When we last left off, the police had arrived to help Anya and the other students trapped on the bus...!! And that's exactly where we pick up at:
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Not wasting any time, Billy Squire grabs Damian and makes his demands to the police...
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And when I read that he wanted all of his imprisoned members freed, I had a feeling that those guys were already dead (because of Yor, all the way back in Extra Mission 2, AKA The Date Chapter that the anime has still yet to adapt...!! 😩)
And few pages later, it was pretty much confirmed...!! (Though, we still don't know how they died... But, my money is still on Yor...!! 😤)
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After that, my boy Bill continues to be a MVP in this situation by trying to calm everyone down, and even WISE is doing their part to help the kids...!! 😆
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But then, I saw THIS:
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They tied this man to a wall, I JUST CAN'T-- 🤣
And though I wanted to see Yuri go save Anya and other kids, I'm just glad that he still gets to help by finding the other bus!! 😎
And speaking of people coming to help, not only is Mr. Blackbell and Martha there, but Mr. Henderson as well (which I was generally surprised and happy to see...!! 😁)
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I bet when everyone was theorizing about this arc (including me), no one expected Mr. Henderson get involved at all or get involved like he did...!! 👌😌
Also, l loved the callbacks to Mission 5 (as seen in the image below) and Mission 23, when Anya said: "I've had better, and I've had worse." 😄 I always love when little things like these get brought up again...!! 😁
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On a more serious note, we learn that Billy Squire had a daughter and she was killed by the state while advocating for peace and equality...
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This bit of information got me to understand Billy Squire a little more, but I'll still never understand why some resort to violence or hurting others when they themselves were hurt by violence... This cycle of violence will never end unless we choose to stop it...!
Sorry about getting serious there for a moment, but I truly believe that the world would be a better place if more people choose compassion and understanding over violence and hate... That's all I gotta say about that...
And finally, see that Yuri has found the second bus...!! 😲
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And that was Mission 72, it was fantastic!! 😁 So many things happened in this chapter, I can't believe it...! And once again, Endo has impressed me with his writing in this story...!
I am super excited for the next chapter of Spy X Family, but there's one problem... It'll be coming out December 25, which is Christmas, MY FAVORITE HOLIDAY...!!! And though a new chapter on Christmas would be great, I'm kinda hoping that it doesn't happen...! 😅
Anyway, my review of this chapter probably would've came out earlier today if I didn't decide to do both of reviews at same time today... Because I chose chaos...!! 👌😌 I guess with that, I'll be seeing you all in the next Mission...!! 😄 Take care and be safe out there everyone...!! 💗😊💗
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eurothug4000 · 10 months
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INTERVIEW WITH SAM BARLOW AND TOMM HULETT ON SILENT HILL SHATTERED MEMORIES
As part of my Shattered Memories video, I decided to try and reach out to Designer Sam Barlow and Producer Tomm Hulett to ask them some questions. And I was delighted that they said yes! I couldn't fit everything into my video, but what they shared was too interesting not to post somewhere in its entirety! HERE IT GOES:
What was it like building the profiling system and what kind of resources did you tap into? I read that professionals helped and even analysed some of the team members! What psychological test was most surprising and interesting to you?
SAM: It was a deep dive into psychometrics! Yeah we spoke with academics who had done work into eye tracking. We put the team through a battery of personality tests to have some data to work off of. I worked with a therapist who insisted I attend sessions as a patient and genuinely, in order to make things credible. The most fun (surprising!?) anecdote is that we were working off the 5 factor personality model, which is the popular one. The fifth factor of the 5 is psychopathy. But we ended up dropping that factor because we found that everyone naturally behaves a bit like a psychopath when playing a game! So it kinda skewed the data.
TOMM: My related answer - As soon as I read the pitch with the psych profiling and how it would change the game world, I instantly (if slightly presumptuously) demanded to Produce the game. This was the type of outside-the-box thinking that I felt suited Silent Hill as a brand, but could also drive it forward with new innovations that would surprise players. Management granted my request, and I made it my personal mission to protect this feature from outside meddling, and to evangelize it across Konami.
In regards to elements of the game (character appearances, dialogue etc.) being tailored to the player’s profile, were there any other features you would have liked to implement that would also change depending on the profile? Also any other things you would have liked to have affected the profile? I saw mentions of Mii data and the Weather Channel for example!
SAM: I think always it was a question of how deep we could go -- the more specific we got, the more money it would have cost! So there were compromises in terms of the number of variations. We'd go in asking for as much as we could think of and then end up compromising and picking the key ones. Could always have used more hairstyles, outfits, or set dressing! It was particularly tight on things like monster animations -- those had to be generic, but fit against any additional animation bones, say an udder -- rather than be unique to each form. The way they moved could have been a real nice differentiator.
Yeah, we really wanted to do some stuff where we pulled in the player's Mii data, or tapped into the local weather/time for their console. But all of those things ended up being things that would have possibly upset the Nintendo guidelines, so we kinda skipped over those. We wanted to find as many ways we could make the player feel seen, and add to the feeling that the Harry they were making was tied to them.
I read that when speaking to some of the developers of the original game, you sought to understand some of their goals with the first title in order to aim for those same targets in SM. What were those goals? Was there anything the developers would have liked to do for the first game (but couldn’t for whatever reason) which were then included in SM?
SAM: Hmmm, I'm not sure we spoke directly to anyone for SH:SM. I know we had access to some people at Konami on Origins, but it was slightly difficult -- a lot of the files/documentation didn't exist anymore, so it wasn't always straightforward to tap into intentions -- as well, SH:1 was kinda of a miracle and product of a very particular moment in time so I think a lot of how the original turned out was organic. We certainly wanted to make something that would feel -- in a fresh way -- like the original felt; rather than rehashing it in a way that would feel like diminishing returns. We wanted to take some of the themes of the first game, and also some of the ideas thrown out by 2 and 3, and take them to a place that was a little bit more lived in. Like there was a vibe I got when going into the K. Gordon house in SH1 that felt so real and domestic and it had a real presence... walking into a domestic living area, that atmosphere of it being abandoned, the proximity of the horror to the domesticity, the uncanny feel. We wanted to tap into that. And to remind people that it was snowing in Silent Hill 1!
Sam, was there anything you took from SM that applied to or evolved in your future games? I think I first noticed your mark the second the VHS intro started playing with a menu in the style of a typical TV interface, the use of technology as an immersive viewpoint in your other titles has been something I’ve always loved!
SAM: Yeah, clearly I have a real interface-within-an-interface thing going on! You could argue that the principal's office puzzle is basically Her Story 0.1! I definitely enjoyed the use of the frame narrative and the idea we had that 'the player is not the protagonist' -- the idea that you create tension between the main character and the player, and explore that for dramatic effect. We deliberately kept shifting POV (3rd to 1st person) and introduced time jumps to create a disconnect with Harry. Also a lot of the way the profile system worked -- vector math and fuzzy logic underpinning choices, rather than binary trees -- has been something I've used in every game since. Under the surface the way that Her Story or Immortality knows about its scenes and connects things, and plays music, etc. is all using a similar setup.
Not a question, but I adored how going into the options/quit game menu would also display that TV interface style, like Cheryl’s view was that outer layer in the narrative that gets peeled back at the end. Reminds me of the use of the screen reflection in Telling Lies in a way!
SAM: Yeah, again, I think this is clearly my thing! Creating layers *between* the player and the narrative in a way that can actually help with a kind of immersion.
I read in a few interviews that it was an important point that every player could finish the game, with some adjustments kicking in if players were struggling. Where do you think your philosophy of prioritising players getting to experience the full story over the possibility of them getting ‘stuck’ at a difficult obstacle in the game came from? Did that stem from personal frustration you have with other games? Do you think this philosophy contended with the existing SH fanbase who were used to the perhaps more unforgiving nature of survival horror conventions?
SAM: I think if you're going to give the player something 'different', you also need to balance that out with a kind of generosity. You can't ask them to meet you halfway and then keep punishing them. It's also very much a truth that the more you make players repeat things, the more you make them stuck, the more they see the illusion -- they start to see the clockwork, the seams of the experience. So it was very important to me that we help players move smoothly through this experience to properly deliver our emotional payload.
Yeah, I think there's definitely a minority who look for a very specific game template and equate difficulty/obfuscation (and the resulting padded game time!) with the kind of survival horror experience. I don't think Shattered Memories was a game for them, in that sense. For me it's all in service of engaging the player. Sometimes challenge can do that. But the classic survival horror template definitely can also take that too far.
I read that Cold Heart turned into SM as Konami had greenlit a SH1 remake, although SM was a reimagining instead. As a result, there seemed to be a little disconnect between the marketing and what the game actually was. What were some of these differences?
SAM: I guess if there was a disconnect ultimately it was that there were probably high up bosses who thought this was a very traditional remake (just with Wii controls?) rather than a reimagining. That was something that I'm not sure was ever run all the way up the chain! But I think generally marketing got that aspect -- we would reference Battlestar Galactica and they liked that comparison. Really the big disconnect was that we'd made a game from the (new) Wii audience and most of the marketing went into positioning it as a 'gamer's game on the Wii.' That was a real missed opportunity to be honest.
What were some of the challenging aspects of making a reimagining with existing characters as opposed to brand new characters? Were there some advantages even?
SAM: I think it was all upside for us. It's great to have something to start with that you can then springboard off of. And a lot of the intent of SH:SM was that we would create a weird Deja Vu for people who *had* played the original -- a sense of things being recognizable but also very different. That was a whole extra level of vibes and emotional responses that we could tap into. This was much more fun than, say, Silent Hill: Origins where it was all downside... there it felt like we were making fan fiction, having to embellish and add small details to an existing story that had no real spare room or need for those embellishments!
Now that there have been many years to reflect, were there any ideas that you wished made it into the game? Or anything you think would have been better to have been changed or removed?
TOMM: Late-ish in development after getting a lot of feedback and considering how consumers might react, I pitched Climax on adding an element of threat and tension to the "normal" world. Nothing like overt combat or enemies, but just something so the player wouldn't feel entirely safe. This didn't go in obviously, but I sometimes wonder how it may have changed initial reactions from players.
(still third question I hit enter accidentally)  Also I wish the western releases of the game didn't have a bug making one ending harder to get than intended.  That's the main regret.
I think the only other SH game to have pushed the series out of its comfort zone as much as you did with SM is PT. Do you think players/critics these days are more accepting of change in their favorite franchises than they were when SM released? How did you feel when you first saw PT? Was there some specific joy in seeing the series you worked on go into a new direction like SM did?
TOMM: PT was the first (only?) SH game I got to experience after leaving Konami and I certainly think it owes something to SHSM. I'm very proud that our game was essentially a "walking simulator" before that term existed, and how favorably it compares to the notable games of that type, when we were charting our course without a map as it were.  On the right day, I do think critics now are more accepting of changes and I think we owe the indie scene for that a bit. Many critics even EXPECT new titles to change up familiar elements, rather than sticking in the same molds.  That said, fans are still fans. When they hear about a strange new mechanic in a series they love, I hope they remember first-person Resident Evil, Yakuza RPG, and maybe SHSM, and give it a fair chance.
SAM: Maybe? We're definitely living through an age of renewed nostalgia and backwards thinking. So many reboots and remakes! So maybe now is the wrong time to push franchises in fresh directions. Which is a shame. But outside that, I think the audience is definitely open to new experiences and the definitions of genres have expanded. P.T. was great -- I loved how it was delivered, the impact on players. To be honest, in all likelihood how things turned out was probably best? I can't imagine the full Silent Hill reboot ending up having the same impact that P.T. (and it's being lost to time!) was able to generate? I definitely appreciated the ways in which P.T. recalled some of the non euclidian domestic stuff we did in our later 'nowhere' sequence, and just that sense of immersion in a domestic space.
What do you think the legacy for SM was? Any lasting effects you feel were left on the series or community, maybe even the horror genre as a whole?
TOMM: (kind of answered a bit above but we'll try). I hope SHSM takes some of the credit for expanding what a "horror" game can be. It was pretty strict beforehand, you had your RE-style actiony games, and your SH-style atmosphere games that that's how the genre was judged. Horror games these days have such a huge range now and it's wonderful. Weird text-driven meta things, or PS1 throwbacks like Signalis. It's great. Horror only works when it surprises you, so I'm glad it all doesn't fit into 2 rigid definitions anymore.
SAM: Clearly a lot of what we did in SH:SM ended up becoming quite standard -- the flight rather than fight gameplay; the sense of open, immersive spaces with no loading; the 'walking simulator' aspects of our storytelling, etc. I couldn't say whether any of that was directly because of SH:SM, or just in the water anyway! I have heard some developers call out SH:SM, so it does sometimes feel like we had an outsized reaction from particular press, or particular groups of developers -- rather than the world at large.
Sam, this is more out of my own curiosity than anything… but I read that you saw similarities in the chase sequences and an experience you had as a child. Apparently you were in Tanzania being chased by baboons around a swimming pool?! I need to know more!!
SAM: Yeah, when we were devving the first vertical slice, I was obsessed with the swimming pool area. The size of it, the dimensions, how the enemies out to flow around it. At the same time I was pushing the animators and artists to have the enemies on all fours, and hairy! This was a challenge as it made the camera very hard to program so it could see the enemy chasing you; and hair was a challenge on that level of tech. But I kept pushing. And everyone was like, 'why is Sam so set on these ideas??' Then one day I remembered and realized it all went back to this time when I lived in Tanzania and as a 5 year old was chased around a swimming pool by a pack of baboons. My memory is the adults just watched and laughed. It was very traumatic! I was trying to recreate that trauma for the players, but after that mini closure, I relented and let the enemies stand on two feet...
What were the best/most fun parts of development for you?
TOMM: The most fun part of development for me was sharing this weird new game with so many people. Climax developed it so that the first 20-30 minutes of the game were our "Vertical Slice" which would be used to sell the game internally. So I would present this to a room full of Konami folks and make a different person answer each opening therapy question, or make key choices along the way, and I had it all choreographed so I knew when to look at a scary image, when to call a random phone number, etc.  This same section of game was then used as our demo at E3 and Gamescom, and watching all those new players giggle at "Have you cheated on a partner?" or realize their neighbor was having a different path through the demo than they did... it's just great seeing an idea come together so perfectly. Climax hit it out of the park and I was glad to be a part of it.
Anything else you’d like to share? I love hearing fun little stories or memories about game development so feel free to let loose!
TOMM: My most frustrating presentation was showing the game in its alpha state to the head of Marketing. I was showing him the Memento you get from the dart board in the bar, and how you could turn it around to view it using the Wii Remote. He got really fixated on the dart board and tried convincing me we should spend the rest of development making darts playable.  People lose all kinds of time in GTA playing darts and stuff.  He was relentless.  I kept trying to explain the player's mindset in a horror game is different than in GTA but he kept pushing.  Needless to say we did not make darts playable.
SAM: Ooh, I don't know... um.... how about that the clinic where Kaufmann works was inspired by Frank Lloyd Wright's Falling Water building? I gave the artists a bunch of photos of this classic piece of architecture for how I wanted the lighthouse clinic to look. It was only when someone then pointed it out to me that I learned the other name for this famous building? "The Kaufmann house". Mind blown.
Apart from the playable darts, were there any other odd ideas put forward outside of the team during development? Or any other instances where you had to protect the vision for SM?
SAM: I guess we were always on the backfoot in terms of not having traditional combat (or wiimote waving crowbar action) so that was one we had to keep running defense on. Mostly we were so busy executing on all the ideas we did have that we didn't really have too much time to entertain additional ideas, so we just kept moving! Stuff like ensuring that every element of the environment was readable/made sense in the narrative/imagery, etc. was something that was a real and constant effort -- the kind of detail and involvement of the narrative team across the art that just wasn't something you normally did.
A HUGE thank you to them both for participating in the interview!! You can find them on twitter:
Tomm: https://twitter.com/Hypnocrite
Sam: https://twitter.com/mrsambarlow
#silenthill #interview
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buckgasms · 2 years
Text
"Bunny and Clyde" - "If you loved me..."
Hi darlings, I wrote this at midnight so apologies if it's shit but hopefully you like it. 😘
I kinda love the idea of Bunny being totally inappropriate and not shocked by the things she should be. She embraces dark Bucky daddy for who he is and she wants it all!
Warnings: mob typical violence, beatings (but I don't go into much detail), mentions of past abusive relationships (but no major details), bunny gets turned on when she should be shocked, blowies.
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Bucky was having a busy day. He had sent you off with a purse full of money to go and buy whatever you liked and enjoy yourself while he had things to take care of.
It was only at about 4pm when he was finally starting to wind down and he was really starting to miss you. He missed you sitting in his lap, stealing kisses from you while you chatted about silly things. He wanted to touch you, fuck you, drive you crazy. He felt himself itching to have you back safe in his arms and do all the filthy things he, and you, liked so much.
Just as he was about to call you, his phone started ringing. His stomach dropped when he saw it was your security team. One of the two men he had assigned to follow you everywhere when he wasn't with you. He answered immediately.
"Hi boss, we're having a bit of an issue here...." In the background Bucky could hear a mixture of smashing and crying that he assumed was coming from you. "What's the matter?" He said sternly and the man at the end of the line sighed. He gave Bucky an address he didn't recognise and told him to get down there quickly. It would be easier for Bucky to see it for himself.
------------------------🐇---------------------
Bucky scowled as he marched up the stairs to an apartment in Queens. He knocked on the door and was greeted by your other handler. He gave an apologetic look before Bucky brushed past him and into the living room.
He looked around and saw chaos. Everything that wasn't fixed down was broken. Plates had been shattered, artwork slashed, electronics thrown across the room, pillows and cushions ripped apart. In the middle of the living room sat a man, tied to a chair. He had a few cuts on his face and tape over his mouth, but for the most part, he appeared unharmed. Mostly pissed off.
Bucky then heard a sob from what appeared to be a bedroom, so with a cursory glance at the bemused man he headed into the bedroom, where he found you curled up in an arm chair, your eyes puffy and face wet with tears. His concern reached its peak at that moment and he knelt down in front of you and ran his hands over your thighs, making you jump as he did so.
"Hey bunny, what's going on?" You collapsed into his arms and sobbed loudly as he cooed and stroked your hair. He let you cry for a moment before pushing your hair out of your face and wiped your tears away. "Come on Bunny talk to me now..." You hiccuped and held on to his hands as he stroked your cheeks. You took a deep, shuddering breath and told him your tale.
"Well... I was out shopping and I bumped into...into him." Bucky, whose patience was bad on a good day was getting a bit fed up. "Who bunny? Who is that guy out there?" You blushed and your eyes welled up again with tears. "He's Frankie...you know, the boyfriend I had when I started working at the club..."
Bucky did know. Frankie had been banned from visiting you at the club after he had gotten drunk, stolen tips, started fights and felt up a number of the girls. Bucky had also found out that he had been hurting you, and that had been enough for Bucky to set Sam on him, telling him to leave you alone and never show his face at the club again. Sam had done a good job in scaring him away.
"Anyway, I saw him and he...he came over and he started being mean and telling me I was a slut and...and he grabbed my arm" at this point you held up your arm which was sporting some small bruises. Bucky leaned forward and pressed kisses to them. "Oh baby it's ok, I gotcha" he said but you shook your head.
"I'm not upset about that" you cried and tugged at his hands. He couldn't help but chuckle as you pouted and huffed as more tears slipped down your cheeks. "Then what's the issue Bunny?" You leaned back against the seat and glared at him. "I wanted to punish him...you know, like you do in your little room." Bucky frowned and you leaned over and wrapped your arms around him. "When be grabbed me the guys got a hold of him and I told them to take him back to his home. They managed to tie him up and I wanted to hit him, and make him pay for all the times he hurt me. But I can't... I'm not strong enough and he kept laughing at me and making me cry..."
Bucky coulda killed you but his heart melted at your pretty pout and he didn't like anyone making you cry (except him of course, but only at the right time). "So you're upset because.... You can't beat a guy up?" He did all he could to stop laughing at you as you nodded. He leaned forward and pressed a kiss to your lips. "Bunny, you really are crazy y'know that?" You pouted but kept kissing him as it seemed to make you feel better and it certainly made Bucky feel better. You looked at him with those pretty doe eyes he loved so much, "Can't you do it for me? If you loved me you would." He did chuckle at that and growled at you. "Well that's it then...guess I gotta go beat a guy up."
He took you by the hand and brought you out into the living room. With another look he saw it was indeed Frankie and he glared at Bucky as he struggled against his bonds. You sat down on a sofa opposite and watched as Bucky shrugged off his jacket and rolled up his shirt sleeves.
"I thought I made it clear to you to stay away from my girl. That you weren't supposed to speak to her. Look at her. Be near here." He circled the man, eyes flicking back to you, watching as your chest rose and fell with excitement, you eyes wide and your demeanor more like wild cat than a cute little bunny.
"But my bunny tells me you have been upsetting her, bothering her and that just ain't gonna fly." With that, his fist came cracking down onto Frankie's face. The man let out a long groan. You watched Bucky land a few more punches, it was violent but you couldn't help but feel exhilarated. Here was the most powerful man in New York beating up a nobody because you asked him to. Because he had made you cry.
After a little while, the room was getting stuffy and you felt a bit bored in all honesty. You spent a little while watching Bucky's ass which entertained you, but really you just wanted Bucky now. You felt your point had been made and Frankie wouldn't be bothering you ever again. So what if you couldn't beat a guy up? Bucky would do that for you in a heartbeat.
You stood up and walked over to Bucky, pulling at him until he was away from Frankie and you wrapped your arms around his body. "I feel better now" you whispered and pressed a kiss to his chin. He grunted at you and gripped your throat bringing you into a searing kiss, claiming you as his. As he had been punching his rage against this man had grown. How dare he upset you, frighten you, hurt you? But your hands were rubbing against his crotch, tugging at his belt and leaning up for more kisses. It was time to take you home and show you in a much more satisfying way, how much he loved you.
-------------------🐇------------------
Bucky's hand gripped your hair as his cock brushed the back of your throat. You looked a vision with tears (the right kind this time) streaming down your cheeks. You had been on him as soon as you got in the car, and he had barely got seated when you were pulling his cock out of his pants and licking and sucking at him.
"Oh fuck Bunny" he groaned as you swallowed around him. Finally you pulled away to catch your breath, but you kept your lips on him, pressing kisses to him as he looked at you.
"You all mine Bun Bun?" You hummed against him and nodded, sucking on the tip, his hips stuttering with the sensitivity. "That's right...anyone who makes my bunny cry is gonna get what's coming to them huh?" You nodded and sucked him again, bobbing quickly. He swore and rutted up into your mouth, "Take it all baby, be a good bunny for me..." He filled your mouth and as you sucked he let out a long groan as he filled your mouth. You swallowed him down happily and moaned with pleasure as his orgasm subsided.
As you knelt between his legs and rested your head on his leg you couldn't help but giggle. "What?" He smiled and stroked your hair.
"Am I your boss now? Cos you beat up guys for me?" You giggled as his jaw clenched and he leaned forward, gripping your chin and pulling your forward. "That silly mouth is gonna get you in trouble one of these days bunny... Let's put it to better use shall we?"
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thickenmyblood · 10 months
Note
Hello! Since we’re nearing the end of HIUH, I was wondering if we’ll see Laurent’s behavior addressed in the same way Damen’s has been? I can’t wait to find out what’s going on behind the scenes, because with the limited POV we get, it feels like Laurent kinda got away with his abuse towards Damen (though I know there must be more going on that we don’t see!) Like, while Damen loses all his friends, loses Nicaise for a while, becomes seriously depressed, it’s hard to find the hints where Laurent is similarly affected and in regret of his own behavior. Is the focus of HIUH just more on Damen’s behavior since he’s the narrator? I might be misreading things, but it feels like Laurent was abusive towards Damen their whole relationship, either in taking advantage of his money at the beginning (without Damen knowing this was Laurent’s intention, in contrast to a berencel dynamic) or verbally/emotionally abusing him later on. Laurent was totally valid in wanting to protect Nicaise and breaking up for that reason, but it makes me sad that Damen never felt he should break up with Laurent or that he didn’t deserve to be treated that way. Even at this point in HIUH, it feels like Damen, Laurent, and all of Laurent’s friends feel or act like Damen deserved that abuse because of his shortcomings. Maybe Laurent regrets it and is trying to improve himself, but it’s hard watching Damen be painted as the “bad guy” by other characters while Laurent, who genuinely abused him, is seen as the one who got “free” from Damen and is the one who gets a new relationship, support from his friends, etc. Even for a a character who can be “unjustifiably mean,” it’d be nice for someone else to call him out on it. Future chapters will probably make me rethink this interpretation, I’m sure! I’m just hopeful that if Laurent’s behavior was abusive in the way it seems, there’ll be space in your story to address it. Thanks for such a wonderful, interesting narrative :)
hello! you are not the first or only person who has asked me about this. I have chosen to reply to this particular ask because it touches on many issues and makes it "easier" for me to reply. now, my explanation:
1. will we see Laurent's behavior be addressed in the same way damen's has been?
I cannot promise the EXACT same level of detail because it did take me +260k words to get Damen here, but yes. Laurent's behavior will be addressed. however, Laurent's behavior has already been addressed multiple times throughout the fic by multiple people. neo, nikandros, and nicaise, to name a few. damen being dismissive of other characters' concerns does not mean the concerns have not been voiced.
2. was Laurent abusive towards Damen? what was the extent of that abuse? is Laurent an abuser?
as you can imagine, this is a complicated set of questions to answer because this is a sensitive topic. if you look at the list of trigger warnings on the fic, it is hard to miss the line that reads "verbal and emotional abuse". and so . . .
yes, I believe there were many moments throughout their relationship where Laurent exhibited abusive traits. he enjoys having the upper hand, because that's how he feels most in control. he is, to some degree, a control freak (which ties back to that conversation neo and Damen had VERY early on about control and how kids who have been abused sometimes try to gain that control back through other mechanisms*). there have been some clues that his uncle really enjoyed making him feel stupid and naive and like he didn't know anything about the world, and I believe he felt so deeply ashamed about this fact that he now does everything in his power to make sure he is never in that position again, that he is never the stupid one. and so that leaves him only one (toxic) role to occupy: the role of he who humiliates and makes sure to remind the other person of their own stupidity and naivety.
that is, obviously, wrong. which is what a lot of other characters (even ANCEL) have told Damen. which is what Damen will eventually bring up to Laurent himself. which will inevitably fall short in the eyes of many readers.
right now (ch17 being the last chapter up or about to go up) both the readers and Damen have every reason to believe Laurent used Damen for his own economic gain. as nikandros not so kindly put it, Laurent needed a lawyer or someone who knew excellent lawyers, someone who could pay for the fees, someone who could help him make ends meet to stay alive. this WILL be addressed in the story.
what will also be addressed in the story is the good cop vs bad cop issue. this has been HEAVILY mentioned throughout the fic, but it's basically one of the many explanations for (some) of laurent's outbursts (note: am I excusing abuse? no. let me FINISH). damen always being the one that gets to parent the fun way, the one that gets nicaise over the weekend, the one that doesn't have to say no to things because that's laurent's job. . . that's a kind of damen that laurent has grown to resent. this IS a source of tension for them and cannot be ignored if you want to see the full picture.
what i also think is important to remember is that for some of their relationship damen was in a position of power (he had money, laurent did not). damen also made A LOT of hurtful, ignorant, dismissive comments to/about laurent and nicaise (was that verbal abuse? was that emotional abuse? was it not "systematic" enough to be abusive?). the point of all this is to say: it's a very complex issue because I did not write this in a black and white manner and so I can't reply to people who expect that kind of answer from me.
3. has Laurent changed?
well, yes. his change might be unnoticeable to some, but I believe so far I've been okay-ish with showing and not telling. if you look for change, you'll find it in every conversation. he is more willing and quick to accept his wrongs, to apologize, to compromise, to co-parent, to finally speak to Damen about things he previously kept to himself both bc he knew Damen did not wish to know them and bc he himself was not ready to share them.
these final chapters will definitely show the most open version of Laurent that i have ever written. hopefully you'll understand every single choice he made (not CONDONE IT, but UNDERSTAND IT).
at this point, it's impossible for me to change some people's opinion of him. if you think he's a piece of shit that deserves to be burned at the stake, that's valid and I'm not here to throttle that interpretation out of your head. that's the beauty of writing and reading — I do my thing, and I let you do yours.
4. good guy vs. bad guy: which one is Damen and which one is Laurent?
there are no good guys and bad guys here, no villains and no heroes. every single character in this story is meant to suck as hard as real people suck, but also to be as giving and amazing as real people are. if you go into this story looking for a team to root for, you've missed my point entirely.
sometimes I struggle with enemies to lovers or getting back together or morally ambiguous character tropes. it seems to me that people who enjoy those stories oftentimes want the characters to be unlikeable up to a degree, you know? "you can suck in this fake, laboratory-bound, inorganic way that I control carefully to make sure no one feels uncomfortable, but NO, of course you're not allowed to truly and thoroughly fucking suck. that's off-putting! that's offensive! that's amoral!" well I am an off-putting, degenerate, amoral writer that writes shit fiction for people that enjoy quite a lot of blood and poison in their romance. I'm not better than anyone else, but also not worse.
5. you didn't ask this, but I want to reply to it anyway. "maca, what happens if I read all 300k words and the ending was not what I wanted bc you didn't address XYZ in a way I thought appropriate and respectful? what happens if I wasted my time bc i don't want them to be together anymore, or i do but not like this? maca, what happens if the story ends and I STILL think your characterization of Laurent is shit and you twisted Damen into something he's not? and maca what—"
nothing. nothing happens. nothing will happen. you'll leave a comment saying you didn't like it. I'll read it from my bed or my home desk or my work desk. I'll nod along to some parts. I'll laugh at others. I'll probably text one of my friends and say "what" about a line or two. you'll be upset for a while, maybe a long time. you'll write more comments. or not. you'll find another fic that you like more, that didn't disappoint you. you'll leave them a nicer comment. or not. you'll tweet something like "what a shit fic what a shit writer what a shit overall waste of my time". some people will retweet it. I'll see it, probably (i can't seem to escape stuff like that, for some reason). I'll agree. time will pass. you'll move to a different fandom. or not. you'll read better things, worse things, similar things. you'll forget. you'll misremember. you'll remember and feel rage. you'll leave another comment. or not. you'll move on. life will move on, too.
it was never that important, after all. just another fic you didn't like, or didn't get, or didn't read all the way to the end. all will be well, you'll see.
*WHICH IS NOT TO SAY ALL ABUSED KIDS BECOME ABUSERS. DO NOT TWIST MY WORDS OKAY. I'M SAYING FOR THIS VERY SPECIFIC STORY/AS AN ECHO OF CANON IT IS NOT INSANE TO ASK THESE QUESTIONS AND PRESENT THESE ISSUES.
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mrsbakashi · 2 years
Note
B, D, E, T for Itachi plz💕
hi, anon! i'm guessing you're requesting for the a-z dirty headcanon because someone liked that post and 5 seconds later this showed up on my askbox, soooo we'll do it that way. and also because i have zero energy to do the fluff version as well.
ITACHI
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⚠️ c.w.: +18, bondage, dom itachi (but also sub itachi - just slightly)
b - bondage (do they like it? do they not? do they prefer to be the one being tied or the one doing the tying?)
itachi and bondage are two things that match so much that when you think of one, you instantly think of the other. he lives for it - tying you up, obviously. he actually spends a good amount of time learning and practing new knots. to be honest it's not really about the sex, it's more that you trust and love him so much you're willing to let him tie you up completely and immobilize you. he loves how you moan a little everytime his hands touch your skin while he works on the knots, making sure they're not too tight so they won't hurt you. loves how impatient you get eventually, because he could and would spend hours there. always starts with your wrists.
d - dominance (do they prefer to dominate, or be dominated? do they have experience as a dom? do they have a dom that they trust already? what kind of things do they enjoy as/with their dominant partner?) 
itachi is a natural dom. it's some sort of gift, it comes with the sharingan (except for Obito lololololol jk 👀). this trait of his is present not only during sex, but in every other moment. because he's a soft dom he's more focused into actually making sure you're comfortable and okay, though he won't hesitate in punishing you if he feels the need to - he usually doesn't. he's just the kind of guy who will make sure everything is perfect in the tiniest details for you - but by his standards. if you say something is fine, but he doesn't think it's fine, then it simply isn't. and the man's a perfectionist. and you know better than to complain.
he needs to be in control, that's it. that's why during sex he'll usually just tease and overstimulate you, never giving you what you want only so he can hear you begging and crying for him. but the truth is that he needs to feel needed, in every single way a person can be needed and more.
i also have this theory that he's kinda switch (only occasionally), because i believe that sometimes he shows his fragile side and all he wants is to be taken care of, to let you take control and show him that he is loved, he is worthy of love, and with that he is completely submissive for you, completely given to anything you want to do - he's yours.
e - extra info (any other fetishes? feet? leather? role playing? blood? fantasies that they might want to experience not on this list?)
i am a strong believer that itachi loooooves lingerie. like he will spend a lot of money and time buying lingerie for you, because he just loves the sight and feel of lace on your skin - it drives him so crazy that when he brings a new piece for you he can't barely sit still while you try it on. most of the time you have to surprise him if you want him to actually see how they look on you. he spends more money at victoria's secret than you.
also loves watching you strip, but again, can't barely stand still and never waits for you to finish the show - he's all over you before you can think.
also, not a dirty hc, but since we're talking about extra info and clothes (kinda) itachi loves wearing matching outfits with you - i'm talking those really cliche cringe ones. he just loves sharing that with you.
oh, and breeding, obviously. he's an uchiha, you know the drill.
t - top or bottom (self explanatory…) 
we kinda talked about this on the dominance hc, but itachi is always a top. even when he's submissive. it's like he'll try to top you from the bottom 🗣️ he's just not built to be a bottom (at least in the way i see him).
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taglist (i took some liberties) - @ittachiii @smutteedreams @justmyownreality @madarasthicc @knightofmight @hashira-mal @nightingaleflow @thetimelesschild @allyallygator @ur-latibule-blog
fill this out to join my taglist
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firekitten830 · 3 months
Note
thinking about gio .... tell us more about him he's literally silly + i like him so much
YOUVE ACTUVATED . MY AUTISM
Makes a bulleted list
-full name Giovanni Morningstar, both of them chosen rather than given. Ooc I chose Giovanni because he is actually vaguely based on my pc from a different ttrpg, and that characters middle name is Giovanni. And Morningstar is a reference to The Devil. like from the bible dksgsjhd
-his divine blood specifically comes from Sharess, goddess of hedonism and indulgence that vanished when dnd 5e came out during the second sundering . So it is no surprise he is motivated almost entirely by hedonism
-he does not know this.
-he’s definitely not her only descendant but he’s her only descendant that inherited any of her magic
-he was not always a tiefling
-he didn’t always have access to his divine magic
-the previous two points were sparked by the same event
-he was born in waterdeep! Not baldurian but gets around enough to know some things
-wanted magic desperately but had absolutely 0 talent for it before his divine magic awakened so he learned the next best thing: stealing shit. Man has been conning and pickpocketing and just generally getting up to thievery and tomfoolery since he was like. 8 (charlatan background)
-folk hero background could fit him pretty well too! Before he got Tadpoled he sorta wandered from place to place helping common folks and robbing rich people blind. Sort of a Robin Hood type guy but he did also keep a good bit of money lol
-he’s a trans man :] no surgeries and he doesn’t want them, though he does take wizard testosterone or whatever it would be in dnd. Probably a potion or something
-queer and poly!! I imagine he has a couple lovers across the sword coast, some he’s going steady with and others he’s sort of off and on with. He’s so lucky he lives in a world where teleportation exists and is not that hard all things considered im so jealous fr (I’ve also decided that his dream guardian looks suspiciously like one of his boyfriends). Worm nerfing his magic has unfortunately made keeping in touch a bit harder but he’s been managing
-his blood is a pretty potent magical power source and several people have tried to abduct him to use him as a conduit for spells or rituals because of this. I imagine after That Scene™️ with Astarion he was like “oh shit I should’ve warned him about that. Oh well he seems fine” . In the moment he was too focused on there being a hot vampire straddling him
-his tattoos are tied to his magic and glow when he casts spells. You can tell which way he’s about to fucking get you because he’s conveniently color-coded
-may or may not be on the brink of turning into a mind flayer but I’m sure that’s like. Fine.
WAIT I just remember I made a dnd character sheet for him before I ever got bg3 and I wrote a whole background thing as well as a value/ flaw for him . I’ll put those under a read more tho this is already kinda long
this part is written ooc!!
“Sharp, charismatic, and hedonistic to a fault. He has a silver tongue and a knack for deception, able to lie his way into and out of nearly any situation. He’s been driven out of many towns for his infernal heritage, alongside the myriad cons and schemes he often pulls on the wealthy, though he’s welcomed into just as many as a minor celebrity, and in some cases, a hero. This suits him just fine, though; he’s always been one to dance from place to place anyway. He enjoys finery of all kinds, and is happy to trade fine food, drink, clothing and accessories for coin… though he much prefers to offer favors as payment. He does have many talents after all; a quick-fingered thief, an excellent negotiator, a ruthless conman, a somewhat formidable sorcerer, a gifted storyteller, and if it suits your fancy, an escort (though he does charge extra for events)… as well as some other things, of course~”
“It is fairly difficult to draw his ire;he’s more than willing to forgive and forget most wrongs against him. But it would be wise not to test his limits too much; his normally capricious manner becomes cold and relentless when he feels punishment is owed. People who hurt those he cares about often walk away with gruesome scars… if they walk away at all.”
And then I have a ummm ideals and flaw section written in character cause these are on his character sheet
Ideals: “The safety and happiness of those close to me matters far more than any laws, or the ‘greater good’”
Flaws: “I’ve been called self-serving on many occasions, and I’m always weak to a bit of liquor and a pretty face”
I am sure I will think of more things to say about him I inevitably always do but I’m a little sleepy so I’m ending this post now!!
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messinwthkid · 29 days
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HAIIII GUESS WHO'S THINKING ABT JAKE
like. what happened after bb1 ?? when did jake get out of prison and did curtis pick him up ? how did he react when elwood got the longer sentence ??? did jake just have to redo his five years plus some extra for being an accessory ?
i kinda like to think that it was curtis that picked him up, that this was during the transitional stage where the orphanage was about to shut down but they didn't exactly know it yet, they just knew the church was deciding. curtis took him back to the orphanage one last time, jake stayed w him and sister mary, they were glad he was out, trying to make it feel like every other time that one brother would be in prison and the other was out, but they knew this time it was different. elwood got the brunt of the punishment. did curtis die first or was it jake ?? did jake leave first, go traveling and then die ??? what was he thinking during it ? did he try to get the band back together like elwood had ?? like, what's going on between bb1 and bb2k, how's jake holding up ? was burton mercer his parole officer again ???
did burton die or did he just lay low during 2k ?? in one of those cop cars going down to louisiana, giving little details to cab and elizondo but never saying who he was, just saying he had been on the previous blues bros case.
and another thing is, did cab ever think about it before he joined the band ? y'know like, if there was a moment late at night or during a drive thru the states where he thought about curtis, thought about his mother, thought about jake and elwood, saw security and news footage of elwood and buster and thought like. hold on, why's the kid complicit in this ??? is this actually a kidnapping or is he in on it aswell ?? like, what if cab did extra research ? he's sitting there late one night reading newspaper excerpts and watching old news reports, researching curtis performing in the 30s n 40s. [assuming it's that bc he joined the orphanage when cab was born so that was 1947] did cab ever see the resemblance he had to curtis ??? realise they had similar traits and that he was more like him that he realised ??
this also kinda ties into my post abt wishing there were followup books and things about 2k like there were with bb1. bb private 2k edition, investigation details on the comeback tour and battle of the bands, interviews, backstories, how buster, mack and cab came to be, how jake and curtis's final years were, how sister mary went up in ranks when she got to the hospital and how her and curtis dealt with the orphanage closing. would it have more details on how curtis felt about cab ? did he regret him ?? did he feel bad, ever want to see him, write letters to his mother when he sent money along as well ??? bwaahhhh im having so many thoughts and i cannot get them all into posts n pages n shid im gonna have to write a oneshot or smth
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what do you think was beth's thinking throughout 2x09 regarding hooking up with rio? i dont think she had it planned going into the bar to meet him (between having his cut on her and the mess in the kitchen and the mismatched socks it seems clear she didn't have it planned). When do you think her mind changed? I think as she looked at him in the bar and realized she was going to have to cut ties she realized she wanted one more time with him and then her mind was set on that until after they were done. as soon as that happened she had just enough resolve to break things off as cold as she did. I'd be so curious to know both of their internal dialogues throughout that whole thing and after. was rio caught off guard at each step? He seemed tentative the whole time until after she kissed him twice. was he blindsided after she told him to leave? did beth go to the bathroom to shower and have to compose herself after shutting the door? What do think each of their thought processes were that episode regarding each other?
Anon, I’ve been sitting on this one. Mostly because so much insightful commentary has already happened about this scene and I didn’t know what I could meaningfully add to it. But I was in the shower just now, having shower thoughts, and decided maybe my contribution doesn’t have to be especially meaningful. Thank you for reaching out with this question and for the amount of thought you’ve put into this moment between them. 🥰 It’s such an incredible, layered moment. As guarded as both Beth and Rio are, they both set down their arms and found such amazing beauty in each other. 🥲
I agree with you, Beth didn’t have sex planned. She had his cut. She was saying goodbye at the bar. My headcanon is that this scene, with flirty Beth and laughing Rio and their sweet exchange, was actually mirroring 2.04 when Rio gave Beth the “keys to the kingdom” and told her to go be somebody. I fully believe he was saying a sort of goodbye to her in that moment. He was gonna let her have the funny money and move on, just like he said. He came back easily, just like Beth came back to crime easily. Because they were both jonesing for their fix. They’re addicts.
But back to 2.09, yeah, she saw him, she flirted with him in much the same way he flirted with her in 2.04. And then she decided she may as well live this moment to its fullest. When else would she get the chance? Even if she did leave Dean, even if she had sex with other people, when else would she have the unique experience of a sexual encounter with this kind of man? With this specific kind of attraction. They both knew it wasn’t just physical. Although, it very much was also physical. But not just physical. So like any addict – just one more hit.
As for him, I think there was a curiosity there. She was very obviously flirting. She was very obviously flustered. I think he was amused and kind of charmed by what a dorky, unpracticed seductress she was. Especially considering that he’s seen the way she can boss up. So suddenly that Boss Bitch who isn’t afraid to stand her ground was embarrassed and uncomfortable and not at all like that woman he followed into that bathroom.
I love that he followed her lead. That he allowed her to take a step, and then met her where she was ready. It’s such a show of caring on his part and I think is something that continued on into the rest of their relationship, especially season 4. He was just letting her have her moment on her terms. I don’t think he expected a kiss between them to be quite how it was. I think he was expecting to watch her make some more awkward moves and blunder kind of awkwardly into initiating actual sex, at which point he probably expected to just take over and make things easier on both of them. Bang it out and that’s that. But we all know that isn’t what happened. It’s like his whole universe suddenly stopped when she kissed him. They surprised each other.
As for the acts themselves, I kinda like that there’s some mystery to how it happened. It lets us fill in the blanks with what that may have looked like. I’ve seen people headcanon everything from the most tender lovemaking to the filthiest sex. 😅 I personally feel like Beth would have wanted to try everything. (Within reason.) Rio was her second sexual partner ever. Her only real prolonged sexual experience with someone besides Dean. I think she would want to do as much as she could. She would want to touch him everywhere, see him in all sorts of ways. My headcanon is that she went right for the zipper after undoing his shirt. Because she would have wanted to… um… test it out. See it up close, experiment. And I think she’s a planner, so she just quickly started going down her checklist of Things to Do to Rio. 😂
I also think that the bathroom was not where she composed herself. I did write this briefly in Rough Night, but I think that if this was her final goodbye, she would have begun detaching throughout the process. While they were still connected. While he was still inside her. I think she wouldn’t relinquish all control and just enjoy. She would want to commit to memory all the things. How he looked, how he tasted, how he felt, how he sounded… I think that by the time he came, she was already gone. I think she would have been honed in, attuned with all her senses so she could remember everything about what he was like when he finished. And I think to him it would have been extremely erotic how engaged she was. Maybe some eye contact, maybe touching him intimately (like his face or his lips or his hands.) Definitely she kissed him before he finished. Because it was the last last last time. Final chance. I think he came moaning into her mouth, thinking he’s starting something new and passionate, and she took in his whole bodily release to keep as a last memory.
I think the bathroom is where she compartmentalized. Where she started her groundwork for the denial. Wash him off her skin, wash him off her sheets, wash him from her life. You can see her continuing this process as she cleans up the bedroom after. I think this is just how she showered – pushing away any guilt or sadness or sentimentality. Pour (metaphorical) bleach on it. I think Rio was the one who had to compose himself. His primary emotion was probably anger. (It is with most men.) He dressed fast, peeled out fast, drove to the bar well above the speed limit. And then drank and composed himself, telling himself she’s just a bitch and trying to tamp down his anger.
So how’d I do? What’s everyone else’s headcanon about 2.09? It still hurts so good, all these years later.
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wordsbymae · 1 year
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ah ah this thought just came to me in a spur of moment from a meme but but thoughts on yandere! twins??? like they're rich they're hot they are the moment well that is until they've laid there eyes on you, pretty little thing, so I'm basing this as a love at first sight cause ya girls basic and lacks enough braincells to create a more elaborate sh8t now it gets cliché because they fight each other and actually not getting closer to you because they make uncomfortable with their fight so you just kinda drift off thinking theyre some weird ass hot twin guys that just barged in your life and your like 'hmmm charming but nope nu uh i still need to finish my proposal and cry at 3am about it no need for extra drama' then they realize that they need to get their shit together and form a temporary truce a beat that twink ass guy that spiked your drink at the party and is about to drag you to one of the vacant rooms lol. although you can delete this too have a great day!
Gotta love rich entitled pricks! And love at first sight of course!!! They are the sort of people who when they see something (or someone) they want, their first thought isn't how expensive it is or whether or not they need it, it's just instant possession. So when they see the reader, they already saw them as theirs. I actually love cliches, I mean if they weren't so popular or enjoyable they wouldn't be cliches, so anyway yes they fight! I see them as childish as well, so they both call dibs at the exact same time and then have a full-on wrestle, with one screaming they saw them first and the other saying that they got to have the last Scone at High Tea so they owe them (I made them old money, hope that is okay). Either way, while they are arguing, the reader is just standing there watching in confusion before quickly walking away cause they're weird. Then begins the war for your affection. One gifts your expensive jewellery and clothes. The other takes you on expensive outings. Meanwhile, you internially panicking cause your proposal is now days behind cause they keep interrupting you and you don't even like them that much and you only went along with it for the free stuff. So you politely tell them to get lost and that you're not looking for anything relationship-wise right now.
This action has consequences.
These two then are sitting outside your apartment bickering blaming each other for you dropping them. Then comes the party. they are still mad at each other and continue fighting all night, till they see this little shit dragging you to a back room while you can hardly stand. They just look at each other and give a quick nod and one rips him from you the other cradling you to his chest before placing you carefully on the ground and then both of them are just beating the shit out of this guy. You wake up back in your room with no idea how or what happened last night. You play it off that you just caught a ride home or something like that. Until you walk into your kitchen and there are dozens of flower bouquets littered around your living room and kitchen and an envelope addressed to you. You open it to find pictures of some guy you don't know tied to a chair with blood streaming down his face and a note saying "Don't worry we took care of him"
Thank you for your thoughts and all the best!!
Lots of love mae xx
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echantedtoon · 4 months
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(John) Doe Eyed Ch5 Doe Date
(Art of Smore above by me)
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This was possibly the happiest point of her life. She's never felt so happy before. 
The next day she got up and ready for her date. It's been so long since she's actually gone out on one you know. And this guy was pretty cute. And she didn't sense any red flags from him, at least not yet. That's what dates were for y'know. To get to know someone else and see if you meshed well enough to start a relationship. He seemed nice enough and was honest when she asked him things. Which was more than she could say about others she went out with. Also she kinda promised him that she would give him a chance. Even if they didn't mesh them they could be friends, and she could definitely use some friends other than Rose in this new place. So she got up and got herself ready and headed out the door. Only to blink and pause.
Doe was already there.
He was right there at the bus stop outside her apartment. As soon as he saw her he gave a full armed wave. After a moment Fae shook her head moving a few long white locks of hers before smiling and approaching him.
"John! You're here! I wasn't expecting you so early! I thought you were going to call me first! I did give you my number!"
"I wanted to see you!," He gushed as she approached clasping his hands in front of him smiling widely, "Did you get the gift I left you?"
She blinked. "Huh? What gift?"
He suddenly looked a bit nervous. "Er... Nevermind. That'll probably come later."
She shook that off. "Well anyways, Im a bit hungry." She gestured to the left. "How about we head over to a small burger place near here? It has pretty good food."
He instantly nodded. "I'D LOVE TO!!"
She giggled again and grabbed his hand Which made his eyes go wide. "C'mon. I'll show you where it is."
Fae pulled him along behind her..and his expression became more love struck almost melting in her hold and pupils changing into red hearts. She pulled him along with her a few streets over and stopped at the small food court. Sweet! They were already selling burgers! She bought two of them, one for herself and Doe. Both ended up just sitting on a nearby bench with said food.
"So John?" He looked at her in question as he ate, cheeks puffed out as he ate. "What do you do for work?" He tilted his head with a questioning brow. "Y'know. Work? I work at the gas station you met me. Where do you work?"
He smiled. "Oh! I don't work anywhere!"
"Oh...So you work from home? Or are you self employed?" 
"You could say both!"
"That's pretty cool! I dunno many people who are self employed. So are you like a web designer or a constructor?"
"I am..." he stopped to blink and gain a thoughtful look. Seeming to wonder how to say something before smiling again. "I am a collector!"
"Oh? Oh! You mean you work with collectables?" That was pretty good for a job. The right market for whatever collectors were looking for could be worth thousands of dollars if not more. "What kind of collections do you work in? Cars? Antiques? Figurines?"
"All kinds of stuff! I find lots of things!" He then took another bigger bite of the burger. Oh. So he dabbled in all kinds of things? Neat. 
"That actually sounds pretty cool. It must be pretty hard to find some rare items I bet! I had a few jobs myself. Before working at the station I was a housekeeper for a hotel but before that I worked at a Dollar T.J.'s for a bit. I wanted to be an artist but unfortunately money, time, and college really put that plan down the drain. I-I still do it professionally just..more freelance." Fae cleared her throat as she caught him staring at her. "S-Sorry. You probably don't like me rambling on about things." 
"Oh no!" She blinked as he smiled widely. "I like it when you talk to me!"
She blinked surprised. "Really?" He nodded. No one had ever told her THAT before. "Oh. Ok! Um...So why did you decide to become a collector?"
"I like finding things! You never know what you dig up!" Oh. That seemed like a good enough reason. He tilted his head at her. "What do you like?"
"Oh...Well I like lots of things." She rambled on counting on her hands. "I like mystery movies especially Sherlock Holmes movies, it's fun to try and guess who's the criminal. I also like drawing of course but you could probably guess that by now. Walking around and seeing everything is pretty good too I guess." She smiled wider at him. "I also like rabbits. I even have one back home. His name's Smore. What about you? And pets?"
He shook his head. "I like baby rats!"
Rats? ...Well some people had mice and rats as pets. She guessed it wasn't much too different from a hamster or gerbil. "Oh. .. Can't say I share that sentiment but everyone likes different animals. What do you like to do for fun?"
"Walks. And collect things!"
"What kind of things do you collect?"
"Anything I find interesting. Sometimes bottles. Sometimes furniture. It depends on if I like it." Seemed like he was pretty open to a lot of things. That was a good thing.
"I like collecting things too!"
"You do?" He lit up.
Fae nodded. ''I like collecting cute little things to decorate my room or murder mystery books or movies. I also like getting art supplies."
"AMAZING!!"
She ended up giggling at him which made him smile more. "I guess so. But I do have one question. What made you want to ask me out?" He again tilted his head as she gestured to herself. "I don't really get asked out a lot, usually people aren't very interested in my .. strange looks."
"I LOVE HOW YOU LOOK!!" She blinked back to him as he gushed. "You look so pretty!! And you're so nice to me! I like that!"
....Fae blinked. "You mean.." Her brow raised. "You .. Don't think my hair being white is weird? Or makes me look weird?" He shook his head. "Really?"
"Really! I've seen much, much, MUCH weirder things! And as a human you look so normal to me!"
As a human? Strange way of putting it but still..the message was so...nice. She hadn't ever heard someone else be so..Normal about her strange looks or the nearly constant eye bags she had. That was...so nice of him. 
"That... might've been the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me."
He blinked. "Really? I'm so happy to be the first one to say that!"
"Yeah..Um." she shook her head bashfully looking away. "So what exactly did you wanna do after this?"
He again seemed to think for a moment. "....I like TV! You like movies! Ms. Ivy once told me the library lets you have movies! Let's get some and watch them together!"
Fae's smile grew wider. "Y-Yeah! That's not a bad idea! I can introduce you to Snore too! You'll love my bunny! He's like super friendly!"
"I'D LOVE TO!!"
The rest of the day was so, so happy! She never felt so...heard out by someone before. It was nice to have someone who actually listened to what she had to say. They took that trip to the Library and got those movies. Although she had him pick out a few too. It wouldn't be fair if she picked all of them. He picked up a documentary on...rodents? And some cartoon of a cooking rat? Well different people had different likes. However there was one weird thing that happened when she lead him to her apartment. Smore had initially hoped up to said door, but had taken one look at John, squeaked out in terror, before running his way up the stairs back towards the second floor of the apartment. 
"Smore!? Hey, wait!...That was so weird. Usually he's really friendly." She turned back to John who blinked. "I guess he's just skittish being in a new place. I'll just go get some snacks. Why don't you just go ahead and put in one of the movies?" She gestured to the TV. 
He happily nodded and made his way over towards it as Fae smiled and went into the kitchen. She remembered she bought chips and stuffed them on top of the fridge. As she walked in a foul rotting smell instantly hit her making her recoil and stumble back. A hand quickly flew to her mouth and she nearly screamed when she looked around and saw the source of the smell on the floor. Some kind of.. rotten bloody meat mess was there on her floor.
"EW! What is that?! It smells so bad!" Oh gods she felt like she was going to vomit out the Burger she ate. "Oh gods. I think Im going to be sick."
UCK!! She..She must've accidentally left out some meat and forgotten about it and it went bad as a result. She coughed a few times covering her nose and stumbling to the cabinets for cleaning supplies. She needed to get it cleaned up first. It's amazing what some trash bags and bleach could do and after a while it was gone and all cleaned up. The smell faintly lingered in the air alongside the bleach but it was certainly better than what it was a few moments ago. Once done she was able to get the snacks and walk back into the living room where John was waiting for her. He smiled and patted the seat next to him and she smiled sitting down and handing him one of the bags of chips. Which he happily accepted it. The movie with the cooking rat was on and she relaxed back to watch it with him. This was nice. 
And it continued to be.
That date turned into agreeing to lunch next week. Which turned into going to the movie theater three days after that. Which turned into a movie marathon night a week after than. Which turned into a picnic two days later. He was honest and open and listened to her. It was...so refreshing! He was also so... Different. But in a way she loved. He seemed confused sometimes or didn't understand some things at first but that wasn't a deal breaker at all. He also seemed clingy and a bit too eager to hug and hold hands but she kept reinforcing her boundaries and he seemed to get it after awhile. Just resulting in holding hands and the occasional hugs or cuddling . It was..so nice. He was even nice enough to gift her something-
"This is for you!" She blinked as he held up an old slightly dirty glass cherry cola bottle. "You said you liked cherries!"
Fae blinked..but accepted it slowly with a smile. "Aw. How sweet. It looks pretty old too. Maybe an antique." She smiled wider holding it to herself. It'll be a cute little vase to put some fake flowers in after she cleaned it up a little bit. "And you remembered what I said I liked. That's so sweet of you."
She then leaned over and his eyes widened in awe as two soft lips pressed against his cheek. She smiled at him and watched as his hand slowly reached up to touch his cheek where she kissed him... Before breaking out into the biggest grin she'd ever seen on him and squealed out as he suddenly hugged her to him.
"I LOVE LOVE LOVE YOU!!"
"You seem happy."
Fae blinked out of her day dream and blinked back to her cousin whom smiled knowingly at her. Rose had stopped by her work on her way to make a delivery and Fae had spaced out happily for a moment. Typical Fae.
"What's got you smiling like that?"
Fae blinked before smiling wider. "Oh nothing much. It just might be that...Well.." she suddenly smiled wider and gushed out. "I MET SOMEBODY!!"
Rose blinked before she too broke out in a large grin. "You're serious? Who?!'
"His name's John!," Fae explained with a smile, "We met on the bus! Oh Rose! He's perfect! He's so sweet and cute! And he listens to me all the time and so thoughtful! I've honestly never met anyone like him!"
"Hey! That's amazing news! I'm so happy for you! I'll have to stop by sometime and meet him myself just to see the man who's making my cousin smile like a clown on laughing gas."
She'd love to introduce her boyfriend to her family! But she'd ask him first to see if he was comfortable with the idea first. They were supposed to meet up again that Saturday so she'd ask him then. However an unexpected storm rolled in. Rain thundered out. Lightning clashed across the sky. And dark clouds the sky. She hoped John was doing ok. She know he said he didn't have a phone but she wished he could call her, even from payphone to cancel plans or at least let her know he was ok. She's been waiting for nearly two hours now on the sofa waiting for John. She certainly hoped he wasn't caught up in the storm. Maybe he was just running late? Smore wasn't helping at all just cowering upstairs. ...Funny. He did that whenever John was around too which was strange. He was usually so friendly to everyone he met- She was pulled out of her thoughts as a soft knocking sound came from the door making her instantly look up. She barely heard it from over the ran and thunder.
"John!"
She lit up immediately and bounded to the door throwing it open only to see... Nothing? She blinked as nothing but the inside of her building met her. Dark but lit up whe
never lightning struck out lightning it all up briefly. But...no one was there? Was she just hearing things? Fae flinched when a loud prr like sound came from by her feet making her look down.
And she shrieked as a giant single eyeball blinked up at her.
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browncesario · 5 months
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So can we get a postscript on the rest of the gang? We know what Shane and Mitchie are up to, what’s everyone else got going on?
i mean. how much time do you have. there's a document spanning 50 years of headcanons and fic summaries in my cloud.
in terms of, like now? 2023? well.
jason's still in topanga, but getting ready to start splitting his time back east when brown retires next summer. jason is feeling a lot of honor and excitement about taking over as camp director, but there's also so much overwhelming anxiety. how do you do right by the place that made you who you are? how do you communicate to the kids who look to you for guidance that you're here because you never stopped being them?
nate's still in laurel canyon. he got out of a long term relationship about about a year ago and is back in his twinkbachelor roots, but something doesn't really feel the same to him this time around. he's been writing a lot, feeling wistful in a way he's kinda kept at bay most his life. he'll probably get an album out of this year, but next year is when things really start to change for him. (there's a moment at the beverly hills farmers market. it's very romcom. it's followed with "no no no, you are not using our daughter to pick up guys." "shane stop being a homophobe and give your brother the diaper bag.") caitlyn's in sherman oaks, working out of a studio she put up just off ventura and making decent money doing it. she's landed some hits, but it's hard being a female producer in an industry that overwhelmingly favors male creatives even for female acts. when you google search caitlyn, a lot of what you'll find is her presence on panels about being a woman in music tied together with some song titles you could probably hum a few bars of. she's mostly happy. she likes that mitchie is hanging around a lot more now that she's in this weird limbo between graduating from her PhD and actually starting a career in academia after the baby gets here. (the further they get from that limbo, the more isolated caitlyn feels. it's hard being a woman in music, but it's also just hard being a woman. it's hard being a non heteronormative woman. it's hard being a woman in your 30s.) but, mitchie and caitlyn shared a box at the brandi carlile show last week with a girl caitlyn's been seeing, and held each other and swayed and sang every song together, like they always have. caitlyn loved every minute.
tess is in new york. she's been in new york since she left caitlyn sitting alone in what was their silverlake apartment august 2018. her trust fund got her a two bedroom in soho and her connections got her a pretty decent record deal that put her somewhere between "lesbian cult singer" and "pop girlie (traditional)." she has two cats and a group of friends she does a weekly family style dinner with. she ran into lola in line at sweetgreen for the first time in oh, so many years, and it made her feel this sickly sort of sad. she called caitlyn about it. they talked for hours. the sun came up, and they talked some more.
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fiveforchibis · 9 months
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Warning Totk Spoilers/Negativity Below
So I really wasn't fond of the water sage storyline in totk. The riddle part was super cool but the plot leading up to unlocking the water temple just did not work for me.
I think there were just too many story threads to really wrap things up in the relatively short time to story was given. Sidon becoming King, Sidon getting married, Sidon having trauma over Mipha; all interesting threads competing for very limited screentime. They tried to tie the later two threads together, but it came across as patronising for Sidon to be frozen in place with worry for his relatively safe fiance when his father and bff are both dealing with (recently) life threatening injuries. Especially when said fiance apparently used to drag his crybaby ass out of trouble all the time. It made the whole thing feel uncomfortably centered around gender roles rather than Sidon's actual trauma.
I have a few ideas of how I'd fix the storyline.
Make Yona a guard from the domain. Either elevate an NPC from last game, or tell us she was the guard Sidon trusted most to search for help outside Hyrule during the Ruta incident. This would make her familiarity with Link feel more natural, as well as the childhood friends background for her an Sidon's relationship. Additionally it better ties the romance storyline together with the kinghood storyline by making Sidon's relationship to Yona parallel his relationship to his people. And finally, by making Yona a guard you get a cute gender swapped parallel to the main relationship of the game: Zelda and Link.
Have Yona throw Sidon's words back at him. I felt this was the part that was really missing from Yona's pep talk. Sidon always shows so much faith in everyone. Have Yona call him out it. Tell him to put his money where his mouth is. Because as future King his people must put their faith in him and he in turn must put his faith in them. I think this would have emphasized the lesson about Sidon living by his values in even the darkest moments. It would have also better tied the Sidon trauma storyline to the Sidon becomes king storyline.
Get rid of the romance storyline all together. Change Sidon's fear from the kinda sexist fear for Yona to the more sensical fear for his father. Whose healing sanctum will be overun if the replacement Zora can't keep the waters purefied. Have one of the guards deliver a speech about Sidon having faith in them (maybe with some elements from part 2). If the game is gonna put more effort into Rhodson and Hudson's wedding than a royal Zora wedding it might as well just leave the storyline out entirely. (Yes I'm bitter about not seeing a cool Zora wedding dress).
Do something with the other Zora domain Yona's from. Maybe one of Yona's handmaids is actually her advisor, and is strongly suggesting they call off the wedding if the domain remains in this state. Maybe mention relations between the two are tense. This ties the kinghood storyline with Sidon's romance storyline by turning the romance into a potential diplomatic incident for Sidon to deal with. Thus establishing his skills as a king that way.
Have Link help Sidon woe Yona. This doesn't do much to fix the muliple story threads but "playing wingman to your bros" is one of my favorite types of questlines in video games and I was sad we couldn't do it here. I think it would have also made the Sidon/Yona relationship feel a little less exposition heavy.
Have Sidon struggling to live up to Mipha's skills in the healing pools. Make his water shield his own way to protect people when he struggles to replicate his sister's healing. This ties the Sidon's trauma to the kinghood storyline because Sidon would never have been King had Mipha lived, and living up to her reputation has to be a struggle for him.
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vazelbeak · 11 months
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Whos your least vs favorite character in HH and HB and why?
Hm, now this I'd say takes some thought, both because of how we don't have Hazbin out right now to entirely judge (how much they change from the pilot to the show like designs can very quite a bit Not just because of more or different writers but because of generally more resources provided like time and money, but that varies studio to studio.) But also because it depends on criteria, which if up to me, I find a lot of Vivs characters are good in certain areas but unfortunately lack components in others needed to give them well rounded personalities, motivations, backgrounds, ect.
Hazbin
Least favorite: This likely isnt too shocking as I find Angel Dust is for a lot of people is kinda both a least and most favorite simultaneously. He has a very distinct character design workable for a silhouette test which I can easily give credit to! However He doesn't appear to look much like a spider in those as much as a general insect. My mind immediately goes to a stick bug not because of the legs but just proportionally he doesnt really have any spider proportions and even non silhouette speaking if the spots under his eyes were his other eyes, my problem with that is the both only look like spots, and don't act like eyes. I also find myself not a fan of how his design thus far hasnt tied into his capabilities. Personally I'm a fan of zoology, I loved catching bugs and lizards as a kid and my grandpa worked in pest control so he actually did at times teach me about insects. So when I see Angel dust, a spider next to someone like Val (who ive heard a varied cockroach and moth) my immediate thought goes to "Angel youre a spider, youre arguably the most capable of taking him out".
Looking it up the animals that are largely immune to spider venom are hedgehogs, skunks, ground squirrels, and pigs (points for his pig I will presume it intentional!) While the idea perhaps he has gold teeth replaced his canines that could be used for that, it also brings to question why didn't Angel use them prior? Or did he and somehow fail like not using enough? How did Val get the upper hand when to my knowledge Angel had 40 more years in hell than him? What was angel even doing before Val even arrived? Overall I find him to have interesting bits to him, but he has the development reminiscent of OCs I made in highschool where they were largely based upon aesthetics, but the substance that ties those pieces together is largely lacking. I'd also enjoy his character more if the whole "sinners being based on animals and objects" wasn't aesthetic (hell if they actually meant something symbolism wise, like Angel being a spider bc he himself for lack of a better term in life was toxic. He got by in life by weaving nice webs of lies and false promises, and the moment someone fell for it and got caught, he would poison them and turn them into Husks.
And maybe thats part of what weirdly works for him and Husk to become close. Be it Husk is already an aftermath of what Angel turned people into, making him almost redeem himself by helping someone that represents all the things he did wrong to people, or maybe its just Angel is put in a place of for once needing to see someone not for what they can do for him, but for who they are, because he never had to face anyone in the aftermath of what he did to them.
Most favorite: It may just be the personal family stuff, and it may just be my love of animals, but Husk has to be a favorite. Its very possible and likely because unlike the others we haven't had as much of Husk shown or given to us to really dislike. He comes off as your grumpy older dude who even just seeing the basic details of characters before watching the Pilot, I could see him playing a father figure role to someone like Crymini (or Crimini? I don't see enough of her to remember the spelling.) a rebellious teen which iirc was part of the original idea, and seems to semi carry into the show now if the leaks gave any idea since he was listed as a shoulder to cry on. And that bit is good! We should be able to see that pose and expression on his face and read that! Overall unlike Angel his personality reads as more charming by contrast to Angels constant jokes and being mean. (Unfortunately for Angel hes given traits that for some people like me, that gets grating fast when theres nobody he's going back and forth with and theres direct consequences to his actions that only appear to hurt others. This is funny when theres acknowledgement of a character having tried their best or theyre a jerk but there is a invaluable ability that makes their behavior a sort of price to pay for which also makes said character come off as despite the behavior having good intentions or at least good for helping the people we're supposed to root for) but Husk while he can come off as a jerk as a grumpy character has it balanced by having other characters provoke it and appear unbothered by his annoyance. It makes him a jerk to the audience, but not to the other characters that would make him hard to like. His design id say while not the worst, also doesnt entirely make the most sense I know he was apparently made by Viv's sibling so I'm not gonna look to style, but I am like angel gonna look at the function. With a magic and slot machine themes I'm left wondering why he's a cat mixed with a bird and not a dove mixed with a lion (two animals associated with magic and even vegas wheres slot machines are associated with) or even just a dragon theme in general as theyre seen as magical creatures. Looking at his design it does leave a lot to be desired, but hes meant to be a cat with wings and looks like one. I will say I'm not a fan of his outfit as it stands. Both because it doesn't really read as a ba tender outfit, and because his lack of shirt just immediately makes me think "theres gonna be so much hair in those drinks" which is specifically an issue because a bartender outfit would help remedy this to a degree. I think as it stands Husk is a favorite for me because what little of his character we have is relatively consistent, we don't know enough about his backstory for it to drastically contrast with his current life in hell yet, and his design tells us his personality, but only in pose and expression. I also wish his design meant something such as if he's essentially a sorry excuse for a dragon because a Husk implies he's a shell of what he once was and so instead of looking much more like mythical creature he's reduced to looking like a cat with bird wings. Wings that based. Being dark on the inside would either be fake or poorly maintained to the point he's incapable of flying. Itd be cool if his appearance tied into a theme of someone who's somewhat lost sight of all the magic in the world/become desensitized to it all (and therefore good in the world). He is one of the last people next to Vaggie to fall for tricks that rely on you being overly trusting of people. He does however fall for stuff that feeds into his need to be the smarter person it makes him feel validated because you have to be smart to pull off magic tricks and not being smart makes him feel like he has nothing. Imply he won't take a card because he can't read it and he'll snatch it out of your hands to prove you wrong. But he really likes seeing peoples eyes light up at a slight of hand trick.
I would like to think bc Husk has stopped seeing good in the world its the ways others like Charlie and Vaggie try and fail at things that almost force Husk to care because despite him being that way, he can't stand other people going down the same path. So he may not say anything when you fail at something and get upset over it. But the next morning after a night of complaining youll see whatever it is completed. I really hope they manage to make his character work i think it could be done really easily with what we already have.
Helluva
Least: I think as much as I would like to say Millie for how under utilized and how much potential she could hold as someone who grew up on a farm and became an assassin, it doesn't compare to the shift from concept to final product that Blitzø had as well as his constant screen time that doesn't help. Starting visually Blitzø doesn't really look like a clown turned assassin and the spikes on his back give an iguana esque look to him as an Imp. I like the stylized head shape that a 3/4s angle can give his head a heart shape, however i find his forehead marking both overly complex and that it doesn't appear to serve much of a purpose to where it would benefit being simplified. Naturally I think it would be cool to see how Blitzo's iguana traits tie into his design such as not being very aware of social ques because iguanas often communicate visually. However my biggest problem with Blitzø is how he seemed to work much better conceptually. Which is to say Blitzø is a jerk.
Now, jerk characters have to be handled well. The more of a jerk they are and the more it touches upon real life forms of unpleasant behavior the more you need to work to make their behavior palatable enough to keep the audience engaged. We're supposed to root for Blitzø after all! But when Blitzø calls Moxxie the r slur, he sexually harasses his employees, those are very real things that are not very funny IRL (having experienced some of these things, it especially makes them all the more grating which is something that should be somewhat accounted for in making jerk characters by balancing their traits). And luckily there are ways these jerk traits can be remedied. Ill keep it to three I type long enough and my talking tends to be worse.
Jerk characters are very case by case due to the varied nature in which theyre a jerk. However there are general balancing methods.
-Karmatic repercussions. Karmatic repercussions are often the use of am almost cosmic force punishing a jerk character for their actions. It often is more employed in kids cartoons but the idea is to make fun of them for how they act or make them. A good example id point to is Squidward who is often an annoyed grumpy jerk who refuses to engage with the fun of spongebobs antics but this is remedied by often having a sort of punishment that is funny. Its funny for Squidward to be run over by giant rock because he naturally doesn't believe spongebob can ride a rock, as well as being comically squished in the sand.
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- Heart of gold where is counts. I am under the impression this was the goal for Angeldust but functionally this is where your jerk character frequently is a jerk however will show their kinder side after things go too far or to prevent things from going too far. Usually youll see this is persistent for villains who team up with the protagonist against another far more evil forces but sometimes its out of remorse for a protagonist. A workable example id point to would be Cotton from King of The Hill who's a jerk, but when Peggy loses her teaching license he does help her get it back despite largely being a unpleasant person. He's unpleasant but when it counts he helped her. (I dont have a good gif for this one so this will have to do)
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-Who cares he's a loser. This one is fairly simple and utilized in a lot of cartoons. CodeName: Kids Next Door, The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, Pokemon, Invader Zim, ect. Where a character is a jerk but theyre a loser which both downgrades the seriousness of what they do and makes us take what they say less impactful. A decent example I point to is Jack Spicer from Xaolin Showdown. He's a bad guy but we take his evil actions less seriously and are able to believe him becoming a good guy because we don't take those evil actions seriously.
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And thats where Blitzøs concept art comes into play. i think a lot of his unpleasant and jerk traits would've been much more tolerable and able to be put up with if he was meant to be loser. He could insult Moxxie only to trip and fall into a mud puddle and it would work because it takes away any of the gravity of what he says. Quite literally "who cares what Blitzø says about Moxxie hes a loser". But on top of that its the way Blitzø is made a focus that also contributes to him being so grating. Youd think an episode focusing on where Millie grew up would focus on her and tell us a bit about maybe where and why she went from a farm to the assassin business and how she found the job but we got Blitzø and Striker. Youd think an episode that seemed meant to focus on Loona and Octavia based on the thumbnail and implication we'd see Loona's backstory would be about them, but instead it's Blitzø and Stolas on a sitcom set that we've had no indication really had any meaning or purpose to the story beyond Blitzø for some reason having trauma over seeing Loona at the pound. Which in itself was one of the big things that made me dislike his role im the story. Typically when you set up a flashback giving a characters backstory through the eyes of another person its to present a contrast in how they respectively viewed the situation or how that effected the character.
It would make sense if it was about why Blitzø is so over bearing towards Loona, because he's really trying to make her feel like she could do something with her life and that she's not a hopeless cause like she was told. But the way Blitzø is the one traumatized and we don't see how Loona was effected or how this looked through her eyes makes it feel like a last minute jumpstart to get Blitzø and Stolas out of the building after writing them into that situation.
Looking at it on a writing stand point and setting aside how unnecessary it felt to the plot akin to Millie and Moxxie's plot, a set up like that would have been a perfect for Blitzø to confront what happened that made him no longer perform on stage and why it was so significant. It felt like a perfect set up where Blitzø after having a flashback to how he met Loona would disregard the teleprompters and make a grandiose speech about how you can't just replace family the moment they become inconvenient to you. That in choosing to raise them as your own you have to take responsibility for not properly training and teaching them to behave and so he needs
Blitzø would be talking about its not right for him to just replace Loona when he adopted her knowing she had issues and made no efforts to actually correct her behavior. (In which Blitzø being overbearing would make sense as seeing this his responsibility even if Loona's an adult). But to the people on set, their actor just went of script and improvised a touching and impactful speech about the importance of responsibility. And as they end the episode, Blitzø gets the applause and cheer that makes him think he'd should consider becoming an actor as he makes his way to his dressing room until he's handed a paycheck and can't believe he's making so little. What do these guys take him for?! Do they have any idea how exhausting it is go be on camera for that long without commercial breaks?!
From their he and Stolas sneak out of the building while everyone else is preoccupied leaving the check discarded on thr floor of the dressing room and part of the joke is the actor Blitzø was mistaken for is later found dead is mourned for having died after giving the best performance of his life. Maybe someone sees Stolas discard his human form and they think he's the owl man cryptid known for hovering around people or places before tragedy but only conspiracy theorist types believe that.
But the sitcom plot didn't amount to much and the excuse Blitzø has a panic attack over Loona's trauma to a point of on camera claiming to see a kid snorting coke in the dressing room (which let me say with the amount of child actors that have come forward regarding how they were mistreated and knowing they turned to drugs either over stress or over their parents giving it to them, it comes off rather tasteless) doesnt even come off funny as unlike Darla Dimple in Cats Don't Dance, she wasn't mean or rude in a way to make it feel funny as though Blitzø was actually doing some good by revealing she did something horrible.
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And because of that it just makes it harder to enjoy because Helluva Boss ends up this big show where Blitzø is the center of attention but he is arguably the least enjoyable character to have on screen. He's overall not a balanced enough character to find engaging on screen but its arguably made worse knowing theres such a massive contrast between who he is on screen vs the conceptual work that made his character feel much more balanced for the role he plays that feels like came to be from self fandomization.
Most: I don't know if this may be the personal connection speaking but to me, my favorite character is Octavia. Visually she doesn't look much like a hybrid between a swan and Owl as much as the crow owl hybrid Stolas is reminiscent of. I think it would be more interesting if her outfits had more variety in which she had royal clothes she has to wear but her outfit we currently see her wear is meant to be causal and comfortable but because she's part of the Goetia that is her only outfit meant to be because she's heavily expected to embrace her royal status and get used to walking around in royal attire. (Perhaps this is even an outfit she made herself and she would love to design clothing if given the chance?). I wish we saw more incorporation of the animals Stolas and Stella were and how Octavia inherits those traits as it could be a means to expand on how whether we like it or not we inherit our parents traits and not just physically. (Also perhaps expand on how Stella may be so against divorce because Swans mate for life meaning if Stolas leaves her she intended to kill the both of them. Meanwhile for Stolas as a tawny owl, while some mate for life its not universal potentially reflecting why divorce is seen as a problem. And in a way its their contrast in mentalities regarding marriage). Id argue she has the most interesting and compelling narrative of having to learn the harsh reality of your parents not being perfect and how to handle that. A struggle that you especially become aware of when your parents split and actively despise one another. My only issue with it is how often her feelings are dismissed or diminished as though an "id never forget about you" erases the times Stolas did ignore her or forget about something important in favor of Blitzø and Stella. (Viv your claim to writing the moments that everyone praises ignores how you as the creator of an indie production greenlight the worst moments too and its shameful to see you throw your fellow writers under the bus like that.) We've never seen anything meant to make these moments outliers or implied such outside of Stolas's insistence he does care for her and often times far too late.
And as much as it can be argued "why would Stolas remember, why didnt Octavia wait until he was done on the phone?" I both admittedly sooner sympathize with a kid who misunderstood their parents over a parent who to my knowledge would face no consequences to hanging up or holding the phone away to quickly ask "what" incase of an emergency as well as find it to be rather bad writing to make such a reach for why Octavia would feel so upset that she'd run away, just to flip it and insist "no actually she doesnt realize how much her dad loves her though". It feels inconsistent especially when we see Stolas in the audience of a sitcom set and not (what i feel wouldve made the focus on him more justified) ditching Blitzø because unlike his assassin boyfriend, Octavia has no means to protect herself and no familiarity with the human world.
To me Octavia would be an interesting figure to give us a sort of parallel or contrast to her and Stolas's upbringing. Did Stolas stay with Stella because in being raised by Paimon he assumed two parents was better than one based on what he wanted? Does Octavia need to produce an heir? Why not?
I think it would be an interesting direction if because Stolas was forced into an arranged marriage he has an aversion to anything that feels more than causal because his only experiences with love as a kid involved being forced into molds chose by other people and by result while he spared Octavia from needing to produce an heir, he's struggled to allow her form much in the way of any relationships outside her immediate family and it makes her likely struggle to understand other people since her interactions have been so limited. Overall I like her as a character, visually her design doesn't really work with what we know but could be expanded on to work if we got more of her character, and I really hope they actually give us more to her than just being "Stolas's sad daughter who just tragically doesn't realize he loves her"
A lot of it boils down to their intended ideas may be interesting and hold a lot of potential, but if you can't balance them out enough to be entertaining on screen and interesting characters both visually and writing wise, its gonna be really hard for me to root for who you want me to.
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kiisaes · 2 years
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ah, i meant bakudeku just as bakugou and deku in that exactly bakudeku moment, so, i know that your art is of them but they feel a little different from how the canon characters feel to me so... hm, idk. obviously it is all personal interpretations, and i totally agree that that‘s like the point :D or one of them lol? it‘s at least super fun, and i think it‘s cool that people branch out like they do as well, watching the same source material but taking away different things from it and idealizing it in different ways for how they‘d want things to be. saying bakudeku really didn‘t make sense in that moment; that refers to the ship. sorry for the confusion!
(also just to clarify, i‘m rly sorry cause i feel like that‘s weird now too (me going i‘m reconsidering and then going no i‘m good, that doesn‘t rly make sense), what i meant with that is that looking at your art it‘s so clear that they‘re in love so when i look at it i‘m like ah no i see it!, which is kinda dumb ig cause it is ship art like duh. anyway. god that rly doesn‘t make sense at all, cause i just thought yeah i see it in that moment bc i recognize them in the art but then they‘re also in love and that‘s true. but i just said that i don‘t see them as i see the canon characters. i‘m really sorry, i‘ll think it through next time before starting conversations to make sure i don‘t just find out actually i contradict exactly what i said before in the middle of it, i‘m so sorry and so glad the anon feature is a thing lmao. sorry for dumping this messiness in your ask box! and more canon kirishima & bakugou content that i could watch and interpret my ideal kiribaku into would be great hehe, i‘m happy to hear you like an idea of them together too :D and i keep looking at the mangas whenever i‘m in my local bookshop but i feel like it would just be so much money lol, so i haven‘t bought any yet. but yeah, the art style is definitely super super cool :D (not that it would be any less so if i didn‘t agree, tis all obvs also subjective))
again, sorry for the length and sorry for the absolute mess, and thank you for sharing your art :,)🤍
ohh ok! so basically what i'm hearing is that u like bkdk but in the context of mostly fan art (with all of its fan interpretations), not in the actual series? bc if so that's understandable too — fan content will always dramatize a relationship more than what's present in canon and might make it seem more appealing LOL
haha i have no problem with ppl not liking bkdk as a ship or choosing not to ship it for any particular reason, so no worries! i know lots of bkdks can get pretty territorial over their ship tho, so for ur best interest, i'd recommend not going up to random bkdk artists and talking about krbk out of nowhere ^^' i've met a staggering amount of bkdks who don't like krbk at all (the same way i've met lots of krbks who hate bkdk) so probably best to make sure the bkdk is ok with other ships including bkg and deku. it's smart to play it safe — this fandom is already barely keeping it together with ship discourses and i wouldn't want u caught in the crossfire ( ;´Д`)
despite the severe amount of bkdk i draw, i am a multishipper, so i don't particularly take much offense to these anon asks. as long as u don't come in slandering what i like then u're good lol. i have few notps so it'd always be nice to see more interactions between characters in the manga :') canon krbk has been pretty dry for ... maybe around 2 years now? oh god. which sucks, but hopefully they'll get some stuff soon !!! rooting for u and ur fellow krbks !!!
and u can read the manga online! i used to use bokunoheromanga.com, but it seems to have trouble with showing older chapter pages — or maybe it's just me. now i just use VIZ for every new update but there are definitely sites dedicated to posting the mha manga chapters whenever they come out! (i only buy certain volumes if they have specific arcs or scenes i like lol)
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ve6a · 2 years
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What would make you think that this career was the wrong choice for u? When i graduated i was hyped but a year later i worry i might have wasted my degree idk if its a long depression stunt or a moment of self awareness or just losing rose tinted glasses aaaa idk
lol i already kinda think it was in some ways, i especially relate to having rose tinted glasses post graduation and i do still think i wasted a degree. its many things tbh but perhaps the main one is that design isnt. really all that much? its making pictures and i dont necessarily think i needed (or should have spent sooo much fucking money on) a 5 year degree for making pictures. not that uni was Bad, but im not convinced it was worth it considering avg designer salary here and the fact that its not a career that requires a degree to make sure youre able to design or get a job (tho it never doesnt help). design is at best a trade im not sure why it became a Degree its not worth that lol.
the second is that design is very "limited" and the field is so closely tied to advertising it made me wanna kms every time i looked at job offers and thought id end up doing that. thankfully i ended up getting a job in a field i always liked where i get to do design but also fuck around w other things so not all was lost idk. in general....idk. starting to work makes you actually see what you went to university for and i dont think theres many career options out there where its a particularily Nice realization to see the way the job market actually works.
but honestly despite this im not...unhappy either. its really not as bad as it looks and i do not think designers are the only ones to struggle with this. we live in hilariously bad times for labor and universities really are very disconnected from what the world needs, its not really surprising so many of us end up feeling fucked up after grad.
but umm first and you have t realize youre not as stuck as you might feel. dont focus on finding the "right career for you" bc there is no such thing, there are going to be soooo many types of work you can find fullfillment in you will not have time to do them all, thinking you have one "vocation" is not a good framework and will just give ou insane fomo. focus on getting a job in an area you are at least interested in (designers r lucky bc our work crosses paths with soooo many industries) and then see whats up. you can work yourself into different disciplines and get enough experience to change lanes if you want to later it just takes a little time. but as i said we live in a shitty time for labor in general so always b cautious abt work conditions and dont overwork yourself if you can help it its not worth it.
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