#but my god it seems so difficult bc i dont have much experience trying. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

renjibozo · 1 year

Text

episode 7 thoughts dump (part 1/2)

(this will be referencing this post of mine and this one too)

(part 2 because this is getting too long)

ok so putting things under a cut again bc spoilers obviously <333

(edited a bit because damn i wrote this on a whim)

OK SO ! most of my predictions are. somewhat correct, if not just misplaced in the wrong areas of the episode

the episode IS centered around rei having to realize that kazuki's role in the house is difficult because he has to take care of so much (laundry, cooking, getting miri ready early and sent off to daycare) so i wasn't wrong about that

this conversation is very nice to listen to as well because the thing of kazuki taking care of almost everything if not everything in the house is finally addressed! and they talk about it! somewhat. to mixed results

and he is doing his best my god he is doing his best you're doing so great you cringefail of a man (/pos) but i'm glad that this episode pushed him to a point where he just realizes he has to help kazuki more

this minute pause spoke to me so much because he was about to yell at her but stopped himself before he could..... amazing little detail

OK. NOW. THE SCENE THAT SPAWNED THIS ENTIRE POST. there must've been some kind of falling out between rei + miri and kazuki because he was screaming "I'm... not your housekeeper!" during dinner i'm suspecting that they finally got on his nerves if they never pick up after themselves properly or just the small stuff piled up onto kazuki and he had enough despite usually not really minding the fact that he has to do most if not all of the house chores but another theory i have is that the scene with the photograph is connected and because of the stress, it leads up to him taking it out on rei and miri. i'm distraught i don't want to see this episode but i have to. mfs gonna have a sk8 episode 7 situation and i'm powerless to stop it

recalling this from the second linked post, they do have some kind of falling out!!! and it does refer to the fact that they don't pick up after themselves!!! (and that they don't try to make it easier for kazuki himself)

the other theory is wrong because the thing with his wife doesn't really come up until karin's in the picture ok no i worded that incorrectly, thank you person who replied under the post

the scene is connected! but it did start off from the start of the episode itself, and his the stress that leads up to him going on strike is just from rei and miri not appreciating what he does enough..... poor unappreciated malewife

but yeah they did end up having a sk8 episode 7 but without them actually arguing in person, kazuki just dipped and left early in the morning

he really said he's not going to be coming back home for a while and they can fend for themselves

and kazuki seems to be on a solo mission, which is probably something rei and miri knows about considering they dont look too panicked by kazuki’s absence (rei looks a little frazzled from the daunting housework chores he has to deal with)

(episode 7 trailer post) ok so the solo part is wrong, but now we do know that rei and miri know that kazuki's out of the house and rei is frazzled by the housework

the day of reckoning has arrived for one suwa rei frfr..... it only took one whole day without kazuki doing things for him to realize

kazuki was nice enough to leave notes around for him so he doesn't get TOO lost trying to prepare miri

this means that since they got miri, he hasn't been going out to fool around in the night life and is at home taking care of miri and rei..... interesting

onto the more meatier part of the episode, THE TRAUMA !!! ill go back to the fluff when we're done here <3333 let's start with rei's since it's the tamer part and since we're on the topic of rei having to experience what it's like to be the sole caretaker of the house for once

he cant cook and doesn't know which plate in the fridge is for eating

this reminds me of the very first episode where kazuki tells rei that he left food in the fridge for him that he didn't eat because it was cold

maybe because kazuki papa wants you two to have a balanced meal !!!! also the laundry left out on the couch.... did kazuki just never fold it?

he does not know her schedule At All (to be fair, so does she in some way but the point stands)

but he does have a calendar that he did not check before leaving probably out of panic

time to nitpick a little at rei's choices with good intentions (he's doing his best but these are Not It fr)

why is miri being exposed to the rain like this!!! should've taken the car i feel like because this right here

is what leads to this

poor miri got sick and rei doesn't know what to do so he immediately calls kazuki who doesn't pick up

so he thinks of an alternative,

but the medicine isn't allowed for anybody below 12 so he thinks of another alternative,

but he doesn't know where the hospital is!!! so he ends up in kyutaro's doorstep as a last resort....

#i'm way too insane about this so i'll make a part 2 #buddy daddies spoilers #buddy daddies #edit bc i was writing this half awake and running on pure adrenaline bc new bd episode

21 notes · View notes

muzzleroars · 3 years

Note

invoking your yaldabaoth knowledge .in the scenario of post p5 (or even p5r) if yal ever comes back or manifests again, who would you think is the very first person that guy should apologize to? lavenza, for spliting her in two? igor, for locking him up and taking his place? ren for posing as igor and rigging the game? akechi, for enabling his his rotten schemes and spiraling downhill by giving him the metanav which he used to murder people? the entirety of the phantom thieves, for talking down on them and the foolishness of the human race during end game confrontation and even trying to end their lives? like, who did he affect the most that he has to make up for it? the most severe thing he's done to someone? ah, im getting wordy again, but I hope you dont mind ! haha (sweats)

aaaaa no worries anon, i totally love ppl coming to ramble especially when it's about yal dkfhjgdfg this is...a very good question tho 🤔 i ALSO got wordy, so the answer's under a read more!!

i think the amount of damage he's done on an individual basis is hard to scale and compare because all of these characters were impacted immensely yet in totally different ways. i lean toward the thieves being the least affected (by comparison of course) - the people that abused them directly were not influenced by yaldabaoth and their trauma is much more rooted in the adults that harmed them in the real world. with that, i think they along with igor are at the bottom of the list - igor's pain is admittedly hard to gauge and it's likely he's more affected by yal taking over the velvet room than his own imprisonment (unless it causes his departure in the next mainline game...BUT that's speculative atm), but with how impossible he is to figure out and how different he is from humanity, i don't think he would personally want an apology. NOW...that leaves akira, goro, and lavenza and this is where it gets difficult. my first instinct is actually lavenza as all her memories and entire being were stripped of her violently, to the point were she seems to have trauma over the event. she was forced to work unknowingly for the being that stole her master and tore her in two for nearly a whole year, she could have helped bring about the downfall of humanity and she may never have returned to normal...she could have killed her guest under his orders. he's got a LOT to answer for with lavenza, and i imagine that is a bit of a contentious issue in my strikers au. however, i think he also owes quite the apology to goro for the role he was forced into and that goes all the way back to shido. shido, unlike the other palace rulers, seemed to have been hand-picked by yaldabaoth as his pawn to force the masses to choose security, and shido claiming to be "chosen by god" is pretty suspect imo it is difficult to say if this is direct influence though as it seems shido had a history of being overly grandiose and self-important, but it seems yal had more of a hand in his life than any of the others. but setting that aside, goro still had to play the part of the villain in his game, which forced him to become a murderer and endure years of psychological torment and physical pain. not to mention that yal seemed to make sure goro was kept isolated so he couldn't form friendships - he had his power of mental shutdowns, akira had the power of bonds, and so neither could have what the other did or the experiment would be moot. that's. incredibly harsh and grossly cruel, especially when the person in question is a teenager. finally there's akira, who i think made it out the best of these three. yal clearly knocked over the first domino to get him arrested in order to begin the game, however that really turned out for the best lol otherwise, it's largely how messed up his velvet room environment was and, of course, the betrayal. akira had to face that the entire year he lived was under someone else's control, that even what he thought was freedom and rebellion was just on rails according to a god's plan (tbh ymmv on this one, as i view akira as incredibly autonomous and rather devastated by this revelation) his situation is also further complicated by all the difficulties he faced in leadership and the more challenging confidants that put him in danger (AGAIN...lookin at you, tae and iwai!!) were also directly a result of yal choosing him for the position of phantom thief. and since i've talked about it AT LENGTH, i won't go on and on about how the betrayal hurt him, how he formed a bond with yal like any other confidant only to be stabbed in the back after a near execution BUT just know i think that really affected him deeply (esp since he had to kill yal not long after that). BUT IN CONCLUSION....i think either lavenza or goro are entitled to that first apology. and in my strikers au, it's definitely a big problem ahaha (bc of course goro is there too!!!)

#lavenza is MAD mad when akira shows up after letting yal on the team #and goro has a lot to learn since he missed all this #at first yal is pretty flippant with both of them i think #but as he grows throughout the game he does apologize #akira likely still has to moderate tho lol #p5 #p5s #yaldabaoth #cake answers

37 notes · View notes

matoitech · 3 years

Note

hello u dont have to answer this if u dont want, but ur situation with gender is scarily similar to where im at except im in the mindset that im nb wlw and dont rlly kno whats going on. I guess if u kno how to explain it, I wanted to ask how u made that jump or how u could tell it isnt just a "womanhood is like that" kind of thing and is actually "i am a guy"

oh man i wish i had smth that would make it Click for u easier cuz i def understand being rly confused abt this kinda thing.. i got a few Thoughts, idk if they will help u out but hopefully they give u some more thoughts to chew on that will maybe help anyway. this got so long oh hell sorry gbfhg

i think like the main thing as like a tip b4 we get in2 the Meat of it is it is good to relax and b open to thinking abt bein a guy as a possibility, i dont know if this will make sense bc i do not know how to explain it rly but when i was struggling 2 figure stuff out what i had rly needed 2 know was that being a dif gender can just feel like You (but as u become more comfortable w it, you but happier!) for some reason i thought u had to meet certain criteria to b ‘allowed’ to make what seemed 2 me at the time a Leap but thats not how it works lol. u as u r right now can b a guy if u want to or r considering it. u dont have to feel different and u dont have to think abt ur body a different way or anything. sry if this part doesnt make sense its difficult for me to verbalize lol

it was hard for me personally bc ppl would b like ‘if u Want to b a dif gender than b one’ but like i said in those last posts, for a long time i genuinely did not know i Wanted to be a guy/was a guy, or whatever. i had no conscious longing about it or anything, that came later once i was more comfortable w accepting it. i didnt have ‘i want to be a boy/am a boy’ moments i can rly consciously remember putting into those words as a kid, cuz i just did not care about gender on that level till i was a teenager. like i cannot stress this enough, ur life and feelings abt gender n whatever do not have to match up with what u have commonly heard the trans experience is about. once u figure stuff out and r more comfortable w urself u may look back and notice things that may b like that common trans experience, but remembering this stuff or having these childhood experiences or whatever in the first place is not a ‘requirement’. like i said, no requirements for bein a dif gender

for me like.. knowing it for sure... making the Jump as it were. like its kinda embarrassing but literally the way i Found Out was i was feeling all sorts of things whenever i watched promare and i just felt this INTENSE longing whenever i saw galo that i later realized was just me rly feeling the Gender w him and being envious of that.. it had happened w other chars b4 growing up, but i had never rly noticed to that extent till now. and one night i was thinking my usual ‘i wish i looked like galo i wish i could be a guy’ maybe for the first time in like a Conscious thought, when i had never rly heard it in words b4, and i kinda stopped and was like. what? i WHAT? and then it clicked and it was like a euphoric moment for me. easily top 5 best 2 ams of my life. it is kind of a hyperspecific experience but it is also not UNCOMMON rly lol

also figuring out my sexuality was intertwined in that bc i was iding as a butch nonbinary lesbian and i had tossed the idea of ‘maybe id b more comfortable as a man’ around a bit but the idea of being a straight man didnt feel right 2 me, but luckily i kind of made the connection of wait im a man and im attracted to men at like the exact same time, it had to b both at once for me personally to figure it out and b happy about it. idk if thats smth going thru ur head at all but it was for me and was part of my Journey i guess and may help to think abt it a bit lol

and while yes its absolutely about what makes u more comfortable at the end of the day, i think it wouldve helped for me to hear ppl say that just bc the idea of being a dif gender (in this case Man) might make u feel confused and maybe even uncomfortable rn, that doesnt necessarily mean u r not one if youve been struggling w this and wondering, it might just mean u havent had that clicky moment and r ready to rly think abt it yet. i have grown much more comfortable w myself over time as ive figured this stuff out and i am still open to figuring out more abt myself and i think thats a good place to b at! just b open to stuff like this that u maybe had never thought would have a positive effect on you or make you happier.

speaking from experience i think if ur confused and maybe even miserable telling urself that womanhood is just like that and u gotta suck it up and get used to feeling uncomfortable and bad, u dont have to live like that! im not saying that ‘oh im actually a guy’ is gonna b what everyone who is struggling w thats answer is cuz obviously thats not true- and im not saying how i just described it is even how u feel- but like. as someone who thought that same thing but less consciously. womanhood does not have to be a confusing sad experience, its not an inherently miserable experience, it is possible it just isnt for you and trying smth else might make u feel better. and that can b rly hard to figure out in the moment, cuz ur Used to feeling like this and even if youve heard it can b different it might b hard to have that ‘oh theyre talking to ME, it can be different for ME not just everyone else’ moment lol

also i dont know if this is relevant to u but im saying it in general 2 anyone who needs it i guess; being a man isnt a bad thing and it doesnt make u an inherently bad person, manhood and masculinity r not inherently or naturally toxic or something. thats a harmful mindset to have for multiple reasons and a whole nother post so im not gonna b like and now a word about transphobic red flags but like, worth mentioning that that can b harmful or dangerous to trans ppl, transmascs and transfems.

my god this got rly long... if anyone else has went thru a similar thing and has anything 2 add, feel free to :0 hope i somehow got around to answering ur question w all the rambling! i am just one guy and my experience may or may not b helpful to hear about, especially bc my memory is not the best lol <3 hope it helped at all tho!

#long post #NINE PARAGRAPHSSSS #fess replies #anon

7 notes · View notes

misterbitches · 3 years

Text

Hello! @flootweed replying to the post from before. the long format was killing me. why does tumblr look like this...

I haven’t watched episode 8 yet...or have I? If it’s the most recent one. No.

Is the hornbill a bird? It probably is but I have a terrible memory and I’m dumb so. I skipped the last few weeks because I’m scawwed. How are you liking it? I did see someone say that the hornbill makes sense (without knowing what it is...at all) bc heart transplant patients only live like 5-15 years after but someone in those comments pointed out that he was so young when he got his and that’s pretty rare so he has a higher likelihood of survival. Frankly, this is the only way I will proceed. Since when did shows ever care about the heart transplant health? Never and it needs to stay that way!

What did we think of ep 6? LMAO. I need opinions! And omg it makes me feel special when I can point things out to people because I so...rarely get to LOL. Editing is like one of my favorite things ever so I can be super particular about it but I try to do the thing you do when you’re supposed to see if it works within its context. I’d like to go in with scissors and glue but alas.

THe mic covering....the rustling....it’s like guys...please. Ironically the audio today wasn’t great. I don’t know why. IDK if you watch c-dramas but I am not even sure what’s worse between them because they dub their dramas. But actually no it’s best to have the dubbing because even tho it is painful they have to put a lot of effort into it. LOL.

Right? @ Aey! It’s just weird if they would show us more about what he’s done instead of saying he’s done sth bad and not even explaining that....like you could even do some shitty exposition. I think if he is to be a true villain then we really need to be privvy. All the warnings make it seem like he’s a fuckin’ serial killer so when we get the scene of him at home it’s like....actually this is really serious? Maybe his pain is like...for a reason. Althought you won’t even TELL US WHAT HE’S DONE WRONG BESIDES BE JUST FUCKING WEIRD AND ANNOYING! So from what we have it’s just a realllllllll fucked up sad person lol. god i forgot about the dinner! and i totally agree. he really needs them to succeed. i like your theory because it would make the scene where he like blocks the twitter user make more sense. he also says they dont really know each other etc so it’s realllllyyyyy probable that he just sees it as a way out. if not then we shall pretend u wrote it :)

god yea i wouldnt say it is art but i also guess we technically have to since it is technically. in the way that technically performance artists are artists but mostly i uh technically ignore them. Also one of my fav BLs is called the best twins. If you do not know what it is I will not elaborate further.t

i want to know more abt poli sci majors lmao but they sound DRAMATIC/ hopefully most ppl in ur cohort arent losers!

hahahha i understand. there was just a thing on twitter about DSA and then the day before about reading discourse. the same thiings. over. and over. and over. and over. we are our own worst enemies but also our own best friends? but i hate tankies and that wont change. but hasan’s a decent guy. he said sth abt black ppl during biden’s primaries in GA or whatever and i was like chill. but he’s insecure and has adhd which means ur more open to being wrong and changing otherwise u will suffocate and die.

and totally about hiding fuck ups. i’ve tried really hard bc of organizing IRL to like...be honest, question, etc but also like...approach it naturally? because if you’re trying to be perfect and so worried you’ll fuck up you don’t realize that puts more stress on you, makes you seem like a robot, and could potentially not make you realize the mistkaes you made. also if we’re privileged in certain spaces there is just no possible way we won’t get something wrong. im light and i know that honestly any way to speak up on colorism is going to be difficult and that’s a space where i have power so i just have to figure it out. we should be uncomfortable because we have to sit with unpleasant feelings and sort through our own whatever. that just makes the next time even better and people can trust u more. i think some people sweat it sooo much or maybe they think their personal life and what theyve been through is more the norm? on the other hand people can be sf reactionary in the worst way and idk what their issue is. there was also a user who said sth very inch arresting about tankies which i thoroughly enjoyed (how like violent lefitsts or tankies / ppl who are like ooh a gun whatever just want to be violent in another space so they have shit tendencies from jump and nothing of substance which i think i agree with tbh fo ra lottttt of ppl. like their anger is actually like “no im about to beat that ass” instead of what we actually want to get done)

sort of in the same vein re: taking it easy...we coudl all be more understanding too. to slow it down like you mentioned about not being privvy to fucking eveyrthing and saying anything on our mind. i saw this person talk about y2k which was a huge deal while happening bc it was the turn of the millenium (bruh were u even alive?) but this twitter user grew up in a super super SUPER religious household and was like why do ppl make jokes about Y2K it was insanely traumatizing? though my first instinct was confused ive tried hard to like look more before i judge especially thanks to a friend of mine. turns out that with the further reading the more we found out he was just really traumatized; it was very common in religious households to be afraid of 2000. so we could have come at him with no understanding and he could have thought that everyone had the same experience with that year that he did. his feelings sit precedent though but i think it was just very hard for him to fathom.

i didnt reply bc he didnt need that and what could i have said? he’ll see what the truth is with exposure and unfortunately this was something he really did go through.

and that’s what makes most people think others could be over the top. because it sounded ridiculous but then it was this huge traumatic thing that we could have never known about. so maybe when someone sounds like actually crazy they have an explanation? of course some ppl are just batshit or annoying but that’s anywhere not just leftists it’ just means more i guess when a ~~librul is annoyed~ but it can be easy to want to make fun of ppl too. lmao. basically what i am saying is the internet? especially twitter? for leftists? in this economy? bitch it’s the wild west out here.

i am 29! idk if i said it or not. i am OLD u probably werent even born in the year i was talking about wah. i know not old-old or old at all but compared to you i’m due for a colonoscopy.

omg i hope u can get vaxxed soon! are you wfh rn? i hope ur also not in a bad state as in state state not state as in ur being :| bleh what a fucking time. it sucks that you have to fucking do work. well unless u like school. which i hope u do. i just assume everyone hates it cos i did lmao

was it the lindsay ellis drama? that bitch is dumb. if there was other drama oh wait the drama i was referring to it all happened on the same day. idk book twitter that well but i saw something from someone who was abt that shit and wowie! the american people are not that.....intelligent to put it lightly.

i’ll get better. ppl tell me they miss me and im like aw. i have insanellllyyy bad insomnia and a lot of stuff happened this year HOWEVER I SLEPT FOR TWO DAYS FOR 8 HOURS AT A REASONABLE TIME. im a new woman. anyways you too! i hope ur not too burnt out with school. we just dont know when the burnout is or we just dont know we are burnt out until we are. the panaramiciccici hit and all the things i was ignoring kind of just fell on me and sooo much happened at once. and frankly it’s hard to take care of ourselves. lord.

Like if you aren’t interested in expanding on the issue in a way that hasn’t been done before all you gotta do it like… spread resources and donate if you can. I dont see the point in having to say something about every issue especially if you (not at you specifically just in general) aren’t immediately impacted by the issue. Like is the 14 yr old white marxist named sarah on twitter really gonna have meaningful insight on anti-asian violence ?

this is part of why i cannot telecommunicate. i dont want to do shit on the internet. i am able bodied so i know that this time has been of such ease for other people. but mentally i just can’t. i don’t have a comment on hand like that and i hvae no desire to engage with ppl that way. i am a super super super solitary person but thats bc it’s MY time so when it’s like all this effort with other people i dont ever want to be alone. it’s the same with the way i approach filmmaking. it isnt a sole thing so i hate it not together. that’s part of how u can get so sucked in and repeat doom scrolling. i was in this webinar last may after [redacted] and this black woman prof said “read with a community and talk” because otherwise she said we are torturing ourselves. you can’t carry that weight all on your own. unfortunately i hate zoom, discord, slack, signal, whatsapp, facetime. you name it this panera has made it evi.. L

you make a really excellent point. i think the young young gen zers are really really just interesting because it’s like this whole new world for them with leftist politics and they just can’t grasp the horrors of the world and the kind of freedom being a leftist can bring. and so many people don’t grow out of it. those people so happen to be the “least productive” in terms of how much time they spend IRL withe these issues. naturally, younger kids are gonna have a harder time. they are not as mobile as well so the internet becomes this place. but then it’s this echo chamber. and many times just things posted without sources. and social media NEEDS that to exist.

i think of the irony of leftist kids on tik tok and while i am happy it’s reaching them it’s just....different. very different. the growth of social media is so good but also so fucking sad, it’s too much! i think the point about not writing everything is major. even i have to do this which is part of the disappearing.y ou need to detach and make sure your head is on straight again. but when you think eveyrone has to be privvy to every thought and you can’t just sit back....which twitter and social media doesn’t encourage. you have to join in. that’s often why when i have something to say it is dense because i don’t feel like repeating it. ever. lmao ust ever. i cant pay attn. social media is a fucking minefield for my brain u can get so lost in it and absorb it but once u start talking you may not be able to stop.

i think a big part of that is it not being a leisurely thing but sort of just in our lives always. this sounds like a grandpa rant but ykwim. We dont have to see the same thing over and over again. And eventually it gets sincerely diluted or its diluted bc of capitalism or whatever. Or if theyre very young or maybe they don’t have like the greatest way of sharing the knowledge? then it can be butchered. I hope this is making sense...i’m talking beyoond the boring surface-level milquetoast shit. i see really ahistorical stuff on there from leftists (like this thing about NK + africa and it being a beneficial rship as opposed to a um not beneficial one. and it isn’t. beneficial but this young black girl was talking abt it and noname rtd and i was like it’s just too complex. there’s no good/bad here just bc it’s not america. dont get me started on this.)

but Lol that was kinda off topic but I think what I meant in my last reply about not turning off the voice in my head is about when I consume media, not necessarily when I’m online talking about. Even if I have criticism for something, I’m usually pretty chill when consuming fandom content bc I think being serious online all the time is kinda boring. Like sometimes I’m analyzing theme and shit but really most of the time im memeing.

exactly.........gotta laugh. thats why sometimes im like i cant think lmao. unfrotunately i have been ARGUING with ppl on the internet for rly no reason when i could have replied to ur very nice fun wholesome message. i love torture. i miss memes.

“ i think the people who get the least enjoyment out of that are those so obsessed with getting upset with anyone thinking outside of their lines as if it equates to them “ EXACTLYYYYY

kekekekeke im glad u got it. it’s like with conservatives throwing around snowflake. now im beginning to question who the real complainers are.

LMAO exactlyyyy. i posted a screenshot of this writer from twitter saying that exact thing. Like first of all, I’m...an adult? and if you are as well uh? i’m sorry for you but are we 12? But how is it affecting u this viscerally? And if it does why dont u...do...research? pihgofuaipoajghou but honestly everything u said. we’re trained to go into it with nothing. i was only around ur age when i started to get more serious about this stuff but you’re like lightyears ahead of where i was at 21. did i say this but i’m in iww and literally i can tell u in 2016 i did not think 2019 me would be in a union bc i told my friend in a train station that we don’t need unions. i was 23...but the thing is i didnt know what i was talking about. at all. and i knew i didnt know and she knew i didnt know and now i am the clown.

also yes at critical engagement. i had to learn so much through experience and this is tuff that i coudlnt be shielded from. there’s an empathy you kinda have to develop and this understanding that you move through the world as this person who is “nowhere and everywhere; nothing and everything” so i’ve always had to think about things differently just to survive. that’s also what can drag a lot of people towards it like theres so many black kpop fans bc i think a lot of the pain in SK can be mirrored (sort of) through our history. and theres currently a history now but it had to be forged. uh what was my point oh yea however i wouldnt have been able to move further if i didnt have my background to go off of bc i knew something was off when i started getting into all these things (ill give u a hint) but if i had no prior knowledge and didnt have to think about it then the critical approach is either stale or stupid.

i had to research but i dont understand how ppl are so bold with little to no research and understanding? thhey just inherently know with also like ZERO experience in what they need experience in. engaging critically means “how i see the world” with dashes of trying to be open adn understanding or whatever. actually that’s another thing like being afraid of criticizing things bc theyre foreign to you so u give it a pass (like we discussed) but it doesnt hAVE TO BEEEE JUST REAAAAAD and then take all the info ur teensy brain and apply it. be a normal human being and dont be fucking rude and racist. thats it! u can complain abt literally anything without being a dick.

as we start with LW and end with LW.....what do we think (i asked this already) omg please share wbl thoughts i THINK i know what ur talking about. well it could be two things; their rship when they came back and the physicality and then pei shou yi. i almost dont even want to use my brain to fucking look at that. i think wbl can get away with more bc of visual~*~*~* reasons (like literally, the look of the show. there’s more space to get lost in the frames. many thai dramas are a lot more literal? this isn’t the right word but it’s very heavily character focused particularly bc of $ i think) though good production also underscores flaws so i am also wrong. but like do u know what i mean? u have to kinda focus on it? or maybe it’s just cos like.....ur so used to it in thai bl idek. i’ve seen tw bl ofc.

look i swear i will justify this forever bc there are some things we miss right but if u feel like someone’s a bad actor....theyre bad. it’s about tone movement etc etc etc and since most thai bl productions have 0 interest in that....well. they take these newbies and put them in these situations. we dont understand thai but if we see them and we’re like “wow this is really bad” then they’re bad lmao. IDC i will never be like cos idk what theyre saying NO WHY HE LOOK LIKE A ROBOT???????? DOES HE EMOTE? why is he CRYING WITH NO TEARS? and it’s not even a total requisite to cry with tears(i mean for me it is) but it’s just like what is happening on ur face right now young man????????

painful.

the inflection stuff is very valid ooh good point tho but that’s only a part of the piece. plus we get used to the way they communicate. like the ppl from sotus were prtty bad. i dont like that show but thats an ex of ppl liing the actors and the person i thought was better other ppl dont think that? well apparently hes a shitty guy but. um. so when theres decent acting its so glaring.

although i must say even tho i dont care for 2gether anymore and would never like to be reminded about its existence (only bc i just cringe lol) i honestly....didnt think bright was a bad actor? but people keep saying he is and i am much more inclined to believe them than myself. though i am not often dickmatized that could have been it. until he opened his mouth and ruined it and then i stopped paying attn.

although honestly i’m so much more critical than i could be positive. i have ben stumped for the last day about how i wasnt mad at his acting in the show. is it me? is it him? who’s......the wrong one.....(me)

oh shit they have been denied? i haven’t been paying attn to whats been going on recently. i just got into it on MDL because of snowdrop. sometimes i literally cannot engage bc ill just be like alright well im black so this power button in my head is going off when ppl talk abt that shit. back in the day when kpop jawns were saying some real outta pocket anti black shit (now everyone is slick with it) it’d always be THEY DONT HAVE GOOGLE THEYVE NEVER SEEN A BLACK PERSON but really it’s like no...maybe they are just racist? that’s ok too.

also the past 2 weeks have been um atrocious bc how fucking easily people fell into the pit of white supremacy and started to turn their ire towards black people and making a competition between our groups just like they wanted. it’s not about the women who are dead anymore, who were sex workers, their womanhood, being asian, being poor anymore. it’s about how much black people get attention and why people only pay attn to us. i am not feeling very generous this week for ppl to excuse that hsit.

on a lighter note, ppl say that abt the whole husband and wife thing. i dont know how to explain how angry that shit makes me but maybe it’s because i do not want to think of my body in relation to a fucking penis at all hours of the day. if bls could kindly not do that it would be nice lmao

yes there are a lot of those. who are only there to gawk lmao. and just idk worship bc of the cult of personality thing bc of how weird and open they have to be as actors. some of the others are people who /think/ theyre really smart (i think im asmart but i also think i am very dumb and i have adhd to prove that MEDICALLY!!!) but are actually not? or their observations arent great? or idk if they are they arent interesting? but i think well..........we have more refined palettes :P

jk also theres just different personalities. you and i mesh more bc we have a lot of the same beliefs and are coming from the same place. that makes it easier to understand as well. i really try to remember that but some people are really weird so. again just...the perception of certain things even down to acting skills. but i also dont like.......believe this genre can really do anything at all. on one hand i want them to do it right bc it’s a piece of work so they should. be proud of it. cos most things arent advancing us bc representation and culturalism are a lie bla bla. it’s just that when the depictions are negative or not done well it adds to the problem as opposed to the things that are well done are fairly benign and can’t really pull us back (perf example is the black panther film. i woudl definitely not say it was transgressive as a literal work but visually it’s just stunning. and it’s sad that it’s stunning and surprising but still with basically an all black cast of mostly dark people abd like what it means in the zeitgeist yes. it’s also just a good movie. but it’s still imperialist prop and unfortunately and this is fucking pathetic to say it “opened eyes” in other countries where they hate black ppl and ignore their own racialized minorities HENNYWAYSSSS a better ex is moonlight except moonlight isnt mainstream and is indie tho...still thru a funnel of capital bc a24 but who cares bleed the fuckers dry is my motto. my point is moonlight is both a great work and doesnt bring any failures to the table and its existence helps in ways outside of art but they arent the defining things giving us material advancement sooooo i mean it’s complex (this is my conclusion to everything um guys it’s complex)

er i had one more point in conjunction to above. oh yea so i like dont need all these extra things to make it progressive. like people really want more women in the show and i am honestly like i really dont. i dont want them to actively do this. if they cant do it naturally then let someone else do it. i am not asking for more bc i dont want it from them. when something comes along i embrace it but i do not see why women should be represented when the genre RELIES on patriarchy. there is no complete satisfying existence for the women in these series. i dont want it. i dont ask people to show us~*~* or respect~* like fuck no the people who make it make it and hopefully more will make it in the future but i will not beg bc THEY DONT WANT TO DO IT SO WOULD FORCING IT MAKE IT BETTER? just fucking leave them out entirely. that’s the answer if theyre gonna make nasty female characters then those bitches can geaux. we have other plcaes to be. booked. and. BUSY!

2 notes · View notes

just-zenitsu · 4 years

Note

oh that makes me curious... do you think zenitsu was thrown between orphanages and foster homes as a kid? or maybe he was in one until he ran away, either when he eloped or some time before and then lived on the street from then... or did he just live on the streets his whole childhood? ive been wondering this for days and its been on my mind for ages

*deep breath* AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

first of all id like to say that i have like three fic ideas that explore his past (whether it focuses on how he grew up or not) BUT THANK U FOR INDULGING ME GUYS IM DEFINITELY RAMBLING ABT EACH OF THEM NOW… (this is a fucking monster tho. so its under read more)

* @anon THATS A WHOLE ASS MOOD TBH. i spend literal hours at night thinking abt whether he was in an orphanage or a street kid. ive wrote him living in the streets and getting sent to an orphanage when he was caught stealing. whereas i ALSO have mindless scribbled notes of modern au where his parents left him in an orphanage but bc of bad experiences (and thats putting it lightly) he gets sent to different homes A LOT and eventually gets kicked out at some point, ILL GET TO THAT LATER IN A BIT

* SINCE im trying to NOT write a fic here ill just list down headcanons and stuff bc YEET!!!! and for the sake of convenience lets just say he was both sent to an orphanage and lived as a street kid :”DD

* lets talk abt hcs ive seen first,, jpn fandom mostly all seem to hc him as a street kid who lived by working on odd jobs and the sort. ofc more often than not he just gets the bare amount for payment and the people he works for arent really nice :(( they never have the nicest words to say and sometimes they even hit him. zen sometimes endures it bc its not like he has much of a choice in the end. other times he runs away crying and scared.

* he also doesnt really have a permanent home so he wanders a lot carrying what little stuff he owns (probably a few clothes or a worn-out futon or something)

* he’s taken advantage of a lot,, whether it’d be people tricking him into doing some work saying ‘he’ll be given something good in return’ or something equally vague. he usually wonders why their words sound so kind in comparison to their heartbeats that sound… off,, its not until he’s older that he gets an answer to that question

* bc he cant be picky i like to think that its not that hard for him to sleep somewhere uncomfortable. he also curls up a lot into a ball when he sleeps. he likes being cooped up into small spaces, it makes him feel safe and that no one can get him.

* was initially very verbal about his hearing condition (something along the lines of saying ‘i heard you say that ____’ or ‘hey, do you hear that’ etc etc.) people think hes creepy and/or he’s lying most of the time. he eventually doesnt really wanna talk about it anymore once someone came this close to threatening to cut his ears off.

* i think we can say that zen lived in the city? its why he likes expensive things and the sort, and he has a lot of stock knowledge about how the city works and stuff like that, not to say that he’s ever really participated in it

* as a child (and even as he got older) zenitsu’s favorite season is spring, autumn being a close second. he likes spring bc the air is fresh and he can find flowers in the outskirts of the city, surviving despite growing in cracked concrete. he makes little flower crowns out of them!

* he likes autumn bc the way the leaves change is pretty! but its only second to spring bc the flowers usually wilt by then and he gets cold :(

* he doesnt like winter simply because it is VERY cold. he dislikes summer the most tho bc the sound of literal thousands of cicadas give him a lot of headaches aaa

* is very used to being hungry when he goes to sleep. he makes due with it as best as he can. one of his fondest memories is a frail old man who owns a sweet bun cart that gives him buns in exchange for a lower price than what he actually sells them for. on a day where he thinks the old man looks more tired and quiet than usual, zenitsu takes it upon himself to give him a flower crown.

* unfortunately he never is able to give it, bc the next day, or days after that, zenitsu never sees him again.

* he has experience bein a sneaky little thief! its the reason on why he can easily take sweets without permission at the butterfly estate in canon hehe

* but its this very same reason that he gets sent to an orphanage, he gets caught! and bc he is a Literal Child. they send him to foster care woohoo

* (GOD THIS IS GETTING SO LONG BUT PLS DEAL WITH MY RAMBLING….)

* i dont have a clear idea on how zenitsu couldve been treated in an orphanage. but all in all, he’s just very grateful to be given some kind of semblance of a home and food

* he learned how to speak (barely) when he lived in the streets, but they teach the basic minimum and suddenly he’s learning all these sorts of things

* the people who took care of them arent the most affectionate, neither are the kids he lives with. zenitsu’s crying is often really looked down upon, he tries to stop but he can’t really help it. he’s not really anyones favorite person here

* there’s a small somewhat neglected garden in the orphanage’s backyard. he spends his time here when everyones playing and no one wants to play with him

* every time someone comes to adopt a kid he cries and begs for them to adopt him whenever they show a spark of interest towards him. it goes as bad as u think it does, they dont like that type of kid, and as such they assume everyone else is like that and leaves w/o taking anyone. zenitsu isnt allowed to eat dinner in these nights ;;;;;;;;;;;;;;

* bc of the latter reason, kids gang up and bully him a lot. zenitsu tries to go along w it bc its the ONLY time anyone ever pays attention to him, but at the end of the day the only thing he gets is scratches and bruises from being pushed around and lots of words that hurt his heart

* (WAHH. OPK OK IM SORRY IM SAD NOW AINNFJKKJFDFHKH..)

* people think he’s a nuisance more or less. and then he gets sent to varied foster homes again and again bc he’s ‘difficult to deal with’ and going back to the first bullet point, he gets kicked out again wAH. at this point he might have been 15 and its when he starts trying to date girls, despite hearing everyone’s sounds of deceit and lies time and time again, he still goes through with it. and the rest is canon,

OK. thats basically my brain vomit about zenitsu backstory. i am deceased and IM JUST PURELY FROTHING AT THE MOUTH EVERYTIME I THINK ABT HIM KDFKLGDFDGHF. thank u sm if u read this far, i appreciate it ;_______;

#ask #KHGJSKGKJGD THIS TOOK SO LONG HAHAHHAHAH #headcanons #.post #screaming but w feeling

46 notes · View notes

bhissar · 4 years

Text

the post nobody asked for

Me shipping my own PCs with one another.

See under the cut for the content.

LET’S BEGIN.

—

THE ABSOLUTE NOS

Xerxes/Daecyne, Xerxes/Saela, Xerxes/Timeless, Xerxes/Perseus, Xerxes/Laurel, Xerxes/Lorren

EXPLANATIONS:

Daecyne, Saela, Timeless, Perseus, and Laurel are all lesbians and Xerxes is a man.

Lorren is Xerxes’ mom.

All self explanatory, pretty much.

—

THE INCOMPATIBLES

Lorren/Magnolia, Sapheira/Daecyne, Saela/Daecyne, Saela/Ariel, Laurel/Brysth

EXPLANATIONS:

Lorren/Magnolia: Different goals in life. Lorren would not be able to respect the way Magnolia conducts relationships. Plus, Lorren is a package deal with kiddos, and Magnolia is not about that life. She wants epic romance and the moment a 10 year old asks for her to make a snack she is out the fucking door. The only “child” in her life is her younger brother, and he’s 23 so not so much the child anymore.

Sapheira/Daecyne: Incompatible goals. Sapheira is selfish while Daecyne is selfless. The thing that is a punishment to Daecyne is life for Sapheira — Daecyne is bloodthirsty because a god cursed her. Sapheira is bloodthirsty because that is who she is. They would not get along for long and it would likely get toxic if they were forced to stay together too too long.

Saela/Daecyne: Conflict of outlooks on life. They would be fine at arm’s length, but things would quickly get very very difficult if they tried any sort of commitment. They have different ideas about what life looks like, and how helping their friends works. They’d get frustrated by what the other deems as support, and would likely fall into bad habits easily.

Saela/Ariel: Saela has a brand of selflessness Ariel hates. Ariel has a brand of selfishness Saela has no interest in. They are both selfish, to a degree, but Saela is selfish in that she believes she can do the best by others. Ariel believes she can do best by herself. Also, the magic arguments would get bad quick. Saela is a quiet bird but Ariel would know the right buttons to push in a bad, bad way.

Laurel/Brysth: They were in the same adventuring party and Brysth is in love with Kairon and Laurel saw his dick once. They can’t move past that even if they are very good friends.

—

THE I DONT THINK SO BUT EHS?

Brysth/Magnolia, Brysth/Saela, Brysth/Sapheira, Brysth/Xerxes, Xerxes/Ariel, Perseus/Saela, Perseus/Timeless, Lorren/Ariel, Lorren/Sapheira, Sapheira/Timeless, Cylthia/Ariel, Ariel/Daecyne, Saela/Magnolia, Magnolia/Daecyne

EXPLANATIONS:

Brysth/Magnolia, Saela/Magnolia, Magnolia/Daecyne: These are all because of who Magnolia is as a person. The thing is, that while she is a hopeless romantic to a degree, she is also someone who is very guarded. Her magic, and more importantly her life, are more important to her than anyone else. The thing is that she will not be prioritizing somebody else, and Brysth and Saela and Daecyne all need a certain amount of attention to form a relationship that Magnolia is not willing to give without first building trust, and she is just…not about that life right now. Nothing personal, tender anxiety ladies, but Magnolia needs high romance or a quick stress reliever.

Brysth/Saela: Frankly? They just wouldn’t mix. They might be fine friends, but Brysth kind of has her preferred flavor of devotee to the Raven Queen. Saela is a bit too intense for her. She is much more about the balance of life and death, and Saela seems a little too focused on the death for her. On the flip side, Saela probably wouldn’t feel she was being taken seriously enough. Again! Not Brysth’s fault! Just not something that could work long term for the two of them.

Brysth/Sapheira: Once again just not mixing. They have different goals in life and different goals in relationships. Sapheira is not really about commitment, at least not up front, and Brysth is much happier with someone being ready to stay with her in a way that Sapheira can’t.

Sapheira/Timeless: Same as above!

Brysth/Xerxes: Surface level would be fine, but their romantic interests in their party would kind of make their relationship not of interest to either. In another setting? Sure, it could work. But someone dating Kairon and someone dating Osfyr just are naturally not going to be drawn together romantically.

Xerxes/Ariel: He’s Robin Hood and she’s the type of person to hide their moneybags when Robin Hood is in town. The thing is, they might get along personality-wise. But Xerxes is literally the guy who takes down nobles a few pegs just for the sake of it, and Ariel is trying to learn ancient magics specifically to impress her noble family. It’s just not going to work until Ariel gets some serious priorities straightened out.

Perseus/Saela: Saela is very much grounded, when it comes to her location and way she operates. Perseus is a free spirit, and specifically one that wants to take to the sea. Their lives would be going in different directions, though if they met and had a reason to bond? There would definitely be a maybe in both of their heads.

Perseus/Timeless: Timeless would probably eventually get her heart broken. Not because Perseus meant to, but Timeless falls in love hard and fast. Perseus needs a particular type to fall in love, and Timeless is a little too lawful for her. She needs freedom, and Timeless can’t give that to her. So it would end in heartbreak.

Lorren/Ariel: Lorren is very down to earth and has very hard morals. Ariel…not so much. She prioritizes herself more than Lorren could really stand. She wants a reciprocity Ariel would never be able to provide her.

Lorren/Sapheira: Same as Lorren/Ariel, really!

Cylthia/Ariel: Different ideas of chaos, different ideas of life. They both want to fit in, but how they want to fit in is so different that they clash. Plus, Cylthia likes fun. Ariel likes studying all day bc it helps her be a better wizard. The two of them would argue enough that any relationship would not work out.

Ariel/Daecyne: Ariel would end up hurting Daecyne, and Daecyne would likely get upset over things, and have to leave. They’d end up hurt and not happy together, so better just not to start. Though maybe they’d teach each other something as friends.

—

THE SPECIFICALLY FUCKBUDDIES

Magnolia/Laurel, Magnolia/Perseus, Magnolia/Sapheira, Ariel/Perseus, Ariel/Sapheira, Cylthia/Sapheira, Sapheira/Xerxes, Sapheira/Perseus

EXPLANATIONS:

Magnolia/Laurel: They both enjoy a good romp and don’t particularly find interest in romantic attachments to one another. They wouldn’t make for a great partnership, but they would be great FWBs.

Magnolia/Perseus: Two ships, passing on the sea, giving great head.

Magnolia/Sapheira: Horny bard meets drunk barbarian and they’re both VERY sexy half elves. Sapheira would be a perfect fit for Magnolia’s not-yet-finding-her-romance-but-wanting-fun attitude.

Ariel/Perseus: Just callous enough and having enough fun fucking that they wouldn’t feel the need to do anything more. They both live lives where they’d be satisfied with it.

Ariel/Sapheira: I mean. Both of their content so far? Basically. They’d have fun, and not think about one another far after.

Cylthia/Sapheira: Cylthia enjoys good fun, and Sapheira is horny. There’s not much more to be said for this section.

Sapheira/Xerxes: They’re both bisexual dumbasses with a soft spot for someone who challenges them. Also they are both very good at what they do.

Sapheira/Perseus: Basically combine their above parts.

—

THE THIS WORKS

Brysth/Daecyne, Brysth/Ariel, Brysth/Cylthia, Brysth/Perseus, Perseus/Laurel, Laurel/Saela, Laurel/Ariel, Laurel/Timeless, Laurel/Sapheira, Xerxes/Magnolia, Xerxes/Cylthia, Perseus/Daecyne, Perseus/Cylthia, Perseus/Lorren, Lorren/Cylthia, Timeless/Daecyne, Timeless/Magnolia, Timeless/Saela, Timeless/Ariel, Cylthia/Daecyne, Cylthia/Magnolia

EXPLANATIONS:

Brysth/Daecyne: Love of nature, love of life, the biggest difference between them is experience. They’d both be happy together, but might want for more? So I don’t know if they’d be happy long term. They would be happy together, certainly, but I don’t think this is the best setup for either of them.

Brysth/Ariel: They challenge each other, in a good way! They both have a deep appreciation for the world and its knowledge, and Ariel would find Brysth a refreshing change of pace from the world at large. On the other hand, Brysth would challenge Ariel’s perceptions, and in the long term they’d be a lot happier together than either alone. Plus, they’d be very cute.

Brysth/Cylthia: Nature! Girls! They’d have a good time together, and Cylthia would find Brysth nice and refreshing. Brysth would be in awe of Cylthia’s power; who doesn’t want a beautiful, powerful, fire wife? They’d be happy druids together.

Brysth/Perseus: Percy’s natural inclination to wandering wouldn’t bother Brysth. Frankly, she likes the idea of traveling to far-off places. They’d be happy together, tbh? Not their perfect relationships, but being on the sea would give them both freedom they’re excited for.

Perseus/Laurel: WAN. DER. LUST. They’d be great adventuring companions and a good romance is something the both of them desire. So, they’d see the world and feel at peace in their travels.

Laurel/Saela: Trauma girls! They both have some pretty severe issues with undead, and their goals would align in a way that would satisfy the both of them. If they got a good therapist, they could be really happy together being adherent to their respective gods and being childless lesbians. (Note: Laurel is fine with having kids but has no specific desire to, and Saela doesn’t think she’d be a good parent. They’re great lesbian aunts.)

Laurel/Ariel: They would challenge each other in the way that would give one another fantastic growth. Laurel wouldn’t put up with Ariel being an ass, and Ariel wouldn’t put up with Laurel being creepy and mysterious. Plus, the both of them don’t really like intense emotions, and so they’d be comfortable with one another most of the time without feeling the need for intense emotional sessions that drain them both.

Laurel/Timeless: Laurel has two types: soft girl and person who could kick their ass. Timeless manages to fall into both. Presuming they were equal levels, Laurel and Timeless would both impress one another, and their faiths would likely bind them rather than divide them. Plus, Laurel appreciates someone down-to-earth and Timeless is about as bolted to the ground as you can get without a mortgage.

Laurel/Sapheira: Sapheira is? Almost exactly Laurel’s type. Disaster martial fighter who is chronically trying to escape reality and also fucks like a champion. Laurel is someone Sapheira would find fascinating! Laurel is just the right amount of mysterious, just the right amount of fun, and just the right amount of mischevious. They’d have a good time, although this is another pair where they probably need therapy before they can be serious about any kind of relationship.

Xerxes/Magnolia: They’re both very chaotic and full of wanderlust. In the end they want to help people, but not at their own expense. The beauty of the world is its own reward! The two of them would get along great, and also they both would find one another very attractive.

Xerxes/Cylthia: They are chaotic good people! Cylthia’s question mark sexuality aside, Xerxes would LOVE Cylthia’s pyromania (as long as it didn’t hurt innocent people) and Cylthia would find great purpose in Xerxes desire to preserve culture but bring equality despite it. They’d make for a great dynamic duo, though Cylthia would have to contend with all of Xerxes’ siblings and his parents before she could really commit to it.

Perseus/Daecyne: Percy’s type is literally powerful but anxious druids, so she would definitely love Daecyne. Daecyne would love being swept up off her feet by someone who understands her in a way that Percy could.

Perseus/Cylthia: Percy would be SUCH a gayass for Cylthia. Cylthia loves the fucking pirate aesthetic. They have the blue/red dichotomy going on. They are chaotic! They would be fun, if not their best emotional fulfillment they could get. They’d be happy!!

Perseus/Lorren: Percy kind of likes getting her ass kicked. Lorren would be endeared. Also, Percy would love to live the life of being a sugar baby for a rich and famous milf. Yes, I did type that. They would be a great pair but it would be more of a thing of convenience, not any intense passion.

Lorren/Cylthia: They’re both very famous adventurers and they’re both wow who want to be good people. The two of them would be very happy being powerful, though I think they would do better together on the move. If they were stationary too long they might find themselves wanting something else, at no fault of one another’s.

Timeless/Daecyne, Timeless/Saela: Soft anxiety girls who just want to belong! Finding belonging with one another would be good. They’d be good.

Timeless/Magnolia: Magnolia’s true romance? She could find it with Timeless. The two of them could settle together. I don’t know if Magnolia is Timeless’ perfect other half, but they would be happy together. And they would make some kind of a life, provided Magnolia didn’t have to be on the run.

Timeless/Ariel: Timeless is serious enough that Ariel would have to take her seriously, and Timeless would help Ariel with what she needs. They could be happy together as long as they were both willing to work.

Cylthia/Daecyne: Cylthia is what Daecyne could be, and Daecyne is what Cylthia could be. They’d see their ideals one one another and it would make them both happy to be together and build a life and relationship together. They both can cast alter self literally constantly, so that would lead to some comedic thoughts of cheating in whatever town they lived in.

Cylthia/Magnolia: They’re both the right amount of chaotic that adventuring together would be very fun for them. Also, Cylthia would love Magnolia’s music. Magnolia would find Cylthia’s magic openness inspiring.

—

THE “MOM”S

Lorren/Daecyne, Lorren/Saela, Lorren/Timeless, Saela/Cylthia

EXPLANATIONS:

Lorren/Daecyne, Lorren/Saela, Lorren/Timeless: Lorren would see any of these girls and adopt them. They are anxiety-ridden and need support from a stable source. All of them had families ripped from them, support taken away. She needs to offer it to those she can, and all three of them would have it in her when they needed it.

Saela/Cylthia: See a girl, whose family was taken from her when she was young. See a woman, who left her family. See them see something in one another that they haven’t been able to truly see in themselves for a long, long time. They both need family, and I think they’d find it in one another.

—

THE OH THIS IS THE GOOD SHITS

Laurel/Daecyne, Brysth/Timeless, Brysth/Lorren, Laurel/Lorren, Laurel/Cylthia, Ariel/Magnolia

EXPLANATIONS:

Laurel/Daecyne: Laurel and Daecyne would truly find a home in one another! This is the good shit because Daecyne has the emotional vulnerability that Laurel needs and the feeling is reversed. They would reciprocate in a way that would make both of them very happy. With dealing with their emotional and traumatic histories, the two of them could likely find a perfect life together. I am a big believer in multiple soulmates, and Laurel could find one in Daecyne. Being controlled by others is something both of them have been hurt by and could relate over. Plus, they both have an enjoyment of fun that the other would deeply appreciate. They’d love one another, truly.

Brysth/Timeless: These are both people who know how to be devoted to something, and if they were about the same experience level when they met, that devotion could so easily be directed towards one another. To be loved by someone who knows what it means to give your heart away? It’s completely different than something either of them have ever been able to experience before. It’s what they both deserve and both want, and they could give it to one another on a completely other level. They’d also both be fascinated by one another’s magic, and adore the chance to share it with their partner.

Brysth/Lorren: Nature girls! But like, with an extra dose of devotion and being one another’s type. Brysth is a quiet and thoughtful druid whose primary goals include 1. helping others be free and themselves and 2. being extremely kind. Lorren is a bold but loving paladin whose primary goals include 1. helping others be who they want to be and 2. being a good mother. Together? They’re exactly what one another would be looking for, and they fit in the cracks that the other needs. Plus, they both have some pretty intense trauma about being trapped, and so they would be abler to relate to one another’s experiences without feeling limited by that being the only aspect of their relationship. Plus, Brysth loves kids, and they’re kind of a package deal with any Lorren.

Laurel/Lorren: Laurel really does deserve a kind and good MILF to take care of her. Laurel would see and respect Lorren’s power and experience, Lorren would see Laurel’s devotion and see it as a sign of her endurance. The two of them would take a long time to admit any feelings, but they’d be a bonded pair quickly. Besides, a rogue/paladin combo is deadly. As an adventuring duo, they’d be very famous for helping those that need help, and specifically going above and beyond to not take people’s money because their thanks is good enough. Also, this is a thought experiment in self-love via self-inserts.

Laurel/Cylthia: Not feeling accepted? Struggling to come to terms with powers and feelings that were not yours to choose, but instead thrust upon you by the circumstance of your existence? Hi, welcome to past-angst-working-on-happiness club. Laurel and Cylthia have very compatible personalities, with similar ideas both in fun and in goofing off. Laurel is a bit quieter but enjoys fun, while Cylthia is a little louder but still highly values the quiet moments. The parallels of sun and sea or sun and moon would be off the fucking charts, and fandom discussions of sexuality would be off the charts. But in seriousness? They would work for one another in a way neither of them would expect at first, and also probably start a revolution in a few places.

Ariel/Magnolia: Bastards who help one another be better? Both of them have always wanted freedom, but the freedom they want is different. Ariel wants the freedom to fulfill her duty her way, and Magnolia wants freedom from duty. Together they would encourage positive growth, if only because neither of them take the other’s shit. They’d have to be slow burn narrative foils, but eventually they’d find what they’re looking for in one another. Magnolia would see that having duty to someone other than herself isn’t the worst thing in the world, and could actually bring her great happiness if she opened herself up to it. Ariel would see that she can carve her own way even beyond not being a warrior like her family, but she doesn’t need to be an honor guard to be proud of herself. The two of them would help each other find their ideal happy medium, and they would be better people because of it. Also, they both deserve to let loose and could be very freaky with one another.

#brysth #laurel #xerxes #perseus #lorren #sapheira #timeless #cylthia #ariel #saela #magnolia #daecyne #ship post #theoretical #meta

4 notes · View notes

blookmallow · 4 years

Text

hey i played rusty lake hotel and it was really good, i got the bundle so ill be doing the rest soon

i LOVE this guy

understandable

so we have a lovely hotel full of unnerving animal people, i was informed i was supposed to help prepare dinner,

,,,,oh

thats. all my recipes are. the animals who are currently guests. i. i see,

i went to explore upstairs and came across mr. deer’s room. i. assumed what i was going to have to do there, but did not realize:

ok you’re trapping me in here, alright

i found a knife but instead of just killing him with it the interaction caused me to stab him in the antler, which produces blood, which i could then use as part of the bloody mary he ordered (which i now have to figure out how to make without leaving this room. somehow)

he absolutely gave no reaction whatsoever to being stabbed or me harvesting blood from his fucking head for the bloody mary. i dont know if deer have nerves in their antlers or what but this strikes me as a very strange interaction

i also still don’t know why i can’t just stab him but apparently im solving a series of puzzles to create a poisoned bloody mary instead. right in front of him. after i just stabbed him a minute ago. seems like poisoning someone isn’t the best way to kill them if you have a knife on hand and you intend on harvesting that person’s meat for someone else’s consumption but what do i know

i am very much enjoying these puzzles though i got stuck a few times but it’s generally a pretty good balance of like “difficult enough that i feel like ive Accomplished Something when i figure it out”/”not so convoluted i just get frustrated” they’re mostly pretty standard logic puzzles or like. clever “look at it from a different perspective”/”Really Pay Attention, the solution is right there hiding in plain sight” kinda solutions i like it a lot

“solve a series of puzzles to figure out how to murder a group of people one by one” is a fantastic premise for a game

however, why the FUCK was there tabasco in this skull

and also why is mr. deer not concerned about the deer skull on the wall. i mean he wasnt concerned about me stabbing him and openly mixing poison two feet away from him but

could be that they’re not Really animals and it’s just a stylistic/symbolic thing maybe

this man watched me mix a bloody mary with his own blood and accepted it without batting an eye. alarming

i was also going to question whether bloody marys ACTUALLY have blood in them in the first place ( like. cow blood or whatever i know blood sausages are a thing so i figured I Guess It’s Possible) but then i actually wanted to know the answer to that question, which google tells me they’re actually mostly like, tomato juice and vodka among other not-blood things, which is what i thought,

anyway. theres all kinds of things wrong with this but somehow it worked. also the fact that the first thing this guy said to me was “hm, sorry I’m more of a meat person” when i offered him a shrimp cocktail suRE IS SOMETHING

nobody here takes issue with the fact that they’re being served meat from a fellow sentient species in this world, or that mr. deer mysteriously vanished in the night just before the deer meat was served. sure

again I’m thinking this might be a “they’re not Really animals it’s just a style/symbolic thing” situation bc it’d be way less likely for them to make the connection with the meat and the dude who disappeared if they weren’t really animals (also could’ve been told he checked out early or something)

nobody seems to get suspicious as this repeatedly happens, either. are they in on this. are they expecting it. do they Know. is this a whodunnit murder mystery from the perspective of the killer bc that’s excellent if so

oH GOD hello can i help you

fuckin rabbit grim reaper out there, ok

this was one of those things that immediately turns itself off when you flip the switch and i could tell i was supposed to do something with it and impulsively tried the knife on it and tHAT HAPPENED :’) SORRY. APPARENTLY I NEED THIS RING FOR SOMETHING

spooky

i like this rabbit dude hes the only one i actually feel bad about :’) (hes a normal rabbit man most of the time he just did a spooky skull trick for me bc he is a magician rabbit, which is adorable)

also i had a hell of a time trying to find the second optional ingredients for all of these i think i only found One and i have no idea where the rest of them were

The Hand came back and i fuckign killed it again with the window i am so sorry :’)

this is going to be such a lovely portrait backdrop

ms pheasant takes no issue with me killing a disembodied hand in the window and using its blood to paint the backdrop for her either

hm. yes. very nice

oh. well. that’s. pretty straight forward, i guess,

for some reason interacting with her with the gun makes her take it and she shoots herself during the camera flash????

i like the “shooting her” double meaning there but What Happened Here

sighs

i really, really did not want this to be the solution here but guess what

why did this happen. why was i put through this. is this my punishment for all these murders. having to witness this. why is this here. why didn’t he fucking NOTICE

also i dont know how the fuck mr boar died??? you give him the sandwich, he gets up to use the bathroom (which is an endless cycle of hell, by the way, it repeats if you don’t figure it out) and i just was clicking on stuff around the chair where he was sitting before bc i assumed him getting up meant something else was accessible now and i found like. a spot on the wall that looked slightly different and suddenly i had the boar meat????? what the fuck killed him

anyway what a bizarre experience this was i enjoyed it immensely except for that last part and am looking forward to the rest of them soon. i dont remember who recommended this but thank u very much

#lucy plays rusty lake

3 notes · View notes

parabcllums · 5 years

Photo

⌜ LYRICA OKANO, GENDERFLUID, SHE / THEY / HE | nightmare by halsey, sanguine, the stepford child ⌟ ⏤ blink and you’ll miss MORGAN ANTONIA STARK, the TWENTY TWO year old child of TONY STARK & PEPPER POTTS ! they’re an UNDERGRAD student at paragon academy, and i’ve always found them to be pretty SELF SACRIFICING & SELF MADE, though i’ve heard that they can also be really INSCRUTABLE & OBSTINATE. i don’t think getting their way is a smart thing to do - everyone knows that their power is GENIUS LEVEL INTELLECT & LATENT EXTREMIS VIRUS. you can check out their pinterest board HERE or their stat page HERE !

i am MONUMENTAL with a heart of glass, and hands made of stone. ( touch me ). touch me.

SECTION ONE OF TWO : BULLETPOINT HISTORY trigger warning for infant sickness & ( teen ) pregnancy

march 30th, 1996 ; morgan antonia harold stark enters into the world by c section at exactly 6:59 am, three weeks before their due date. like most parents in their position, tony and pepper like to joke that morgan couldn’t wait to see the world - it adds a touch of humor to otherwise stressful memories, of a difficult pregnancy and extended time on bedrest. it brings a chuckle, no matter how small, even during those early years.

they’re a sickly child. it seems predetermined. anything that could be wrong very often was ; starting with influenza contracted aged six months, which leads into an extended stay in the icu due to contracted pneumonia. there’s something wrong ; a genetic condition, a primary immune deficiency that means anything they can catch, they do. their parents do their best to make sure that they’re kept up to date on their vaccinations, that they stay away from crowded spaces during cold season - but they contract meningitis when they’re five, and the resulting virus very almost kills them. treatment, after, is rigorous. neither tony nor pepper want to lose them.

by extension, they’re also a very SHELTERED child. their parents are over protective by nature, and they allow it, no matter what seeds of resentment begin to grow, in those earliest years. they know that they only want the best for them, that they only want to see them right - they know that their father isn’t scared of anything as much as he is afraid of losing any of them, and they know that their mother isn’t all that different. they wish that things were different, but they settle into a routine, regardless.

to the outside world, the stark’s are the perfect family. they’re rich. they’re genetically blessed. they have EVERYTHING they could want, and they never even have to think about it. morgan is a shining jewel, from the moment that they turn around on their way into a convention center, hand in daddy’s, and wave. every so often, a story will run in the tabloids surrounding the stark kids - when the paparazzi come searching for photos, morgan always plays up for the camera. when they’re old enough, they seem to have a natural born talent for knowing what to say. they’re a stepford child in a stepford family, and they never let the image slip.

they do everything, to be perfect. to never let their parents down. to be everything that they WANT them to be, and then some. they’re in a dozen clubs. they’re on a dozen teams. they excel in school with god given talent, and they seem to be surrounded by friends, at every turn. they’re well behaved and well spoken, they know exactly how to act - and yes, over time, they become quite self obsessed. they’re told all the time how beautiful they are, how intelligent, and they have a neverending stream of people to keep them on their toes. in school, people below them think that they’re quite rude. that they’re a bitch, a rich, spoiled, stuck up kind of bitch - but the truth is, they just don’t think. they don’t go out of their way to be anything, really, and that thoughtlessness follows them.

they only let themselves slip when teenage hormones come into play. they'd never really acted upon the feeling, deep down, of pressure - they had never done anything to step over the line. there were expectations upon them and there were things that they had never been allowed to do because of who they were, but they loved their parents, and they let them have that control on their life ; they STILL did, even as they began to rebel. by day, the perfect child. by night, a steady descent. it was so painfully easy for morgan to find the party scene, and begin experimenting. alcohol and drugs, sure, but the real problem came when morgan began to discover her sexuality. they just wanted to know what it felt like, the first time that they strolled up to a boy at a party and kissed them. they just wanted to know what it felt like, the first time that they led someone upstairs. they just wanted to try it.

and then the strip turned pink. they were sixteen. they were no longer PERFECT. even if they never said it, morgan felt as if they could feel the disappointment, radiating from their parents. they scrambled to know what to do, and for a chunk of those nine months, struggled with the idea of growing up and letting go. they did what they thought was right, they found a willing family, a perfect one, and they made all the necessary arrangements to hand the baby over when the time came. and then their pregnancy got difficult, and on bedrest, they spent a lot of time simply... talking to their bump. and when they woke up after their c section, and were offered the chance to see their kid - they didn’t want to let it go. they didn’t want to say goodbye.

virginia marie stark, soon to be known as gigi, wasn’t always wanted. but all of a sudden, she was. and morgan wasn’t letting her go.

they were terrified of disappointment, of being seen as a failure. they never told their parents that - they just moved themselves and gigi out of home, eight months after her birth, and pushed away the people they should have stayed closest with before they had the chance to do it to them. they felt like it was easier. actually, it was worse.

and they grew up. as out of bounds as it had once been thought to be - they did it, because they had to, because they realized that they could.

SECTION TWO OF TWO : WANTED CONNECTIONS

im going to include the like, long ass actual wcs at the bottom, but : the father of morgan’s kid is MOST wanted, right now ! my personal favorite way that the connect could go is that gigi’s father is actually someone who was teenage morgan’s closest friend, someone who she experimented with, who she was wholly comfortable with. they probably have suspicions, but maybe don’t realize even now !

past flings from their teen years are ALWAYS wanted, especially since they were something that morgan really indulged in - but i’m also completely open for current flings, or more recent exes. love ? in this economy ? nah

( similarly, more info down below ) i wld love the prospective parents of gigi that morgan disappointed bc that was a dick move on all parts and wld be such juicy drama, now

definitely wld love an ex group of “”best friends”” who , y’know - were just a rich kid squad causing trouble, that morgan lost contact with / got ostracized from upon her teenage pregnancy

genuine ! friends ! made ! in ! the past ! six ! years ! the first GENUINE friends morgan ever made - preferably people she didn’t know before, but who they met and got super close with upon moving out of the fam home

oh also their older siblings - there are two spots and i wld LOVE to see them snagged because... also... drama

i think it makes most sense for morgan to be living off campus, so a roommate wld be neat - they could be one of her genuine friends, or they could b someone that they dont really know that well. open to anything !

MORGAN STARK, our LYRICA OKANO fc, is looking for a EX FLING / ONE NIGHT STAND / FATHER OF HER CHILD connection who looks like ALEX FITZALAN, CHANCE PERDOMO, FINN COLE, DREW RAY TANNER / PLAYERS CHOICE, who is 21 - 23. you DO have to contact prior to applying at PARABCLLUMS or DISCORD. ( one word : yikes. the thing is. the father of morgan’s kid doesn’t… know that they’re the father of morgan’s kid, though they absolutely COULD have their suspicions. i think there’s like… a bunch of directions in which this could go. once upon a time, morgan was… only the prime and proper kid of tony stark and pepper potts, and yeah - her fall from grace came in the form of a teen pregnancy. she was rebelling, and that led to her becoming a bit of a party girl. she made mistakes. she dated around. she had one wrong one night stand, and she ended up pregnant [ later giving birth to virginia marie stark, also known as gigi ]. her life was completely derailed, and when she chose not to put her kid up for adoption, it seemed only to get worse. she had no desire to derail anybody else’s life, too, so she never did. no matter what rumors were thrown around by friends or by tabloids, she never said who the kids dad was - and it really could have been anyones. a best friend. an otherwise enemy she made one bad call with. a friends boyfriend! someone she shouldn’t have been with, someone she felt something for… as i said. limitless potential. we can talk ! )

MORGAN STARK, our LYRICA OKANO fc, is looking for a JUNO STYLE connection who looks like PLAYERS CHOICE, who is 30+ YEARS OF AGE. you DO have to contact prior to applying at PARABCLLUMS or DISCORD. ( i don’t know what to call this. basically : when morgan was sixteen, she got pregnant. it was a scandal perfect for tabloids all across the world, and nothing could have outdone it - except for when she disappointed the prospective adoptive parents of her kid by backing out, upon gigi’s birth. all the way along, they would have been given the impression that morgan was going to hand over the baby to them. all the way along, she DID intend on doing so. things only changed when gigi came into the world, and morgan continues to feel horrific about what happened to this day… though she’s not really good at expressing that. )

2 notes · View notes

chikkou · 6 years

Note

as a 15 year old who is into homestuck rn, your post was interesting! every once in a while i do feel like i missed a reference, but for the most part i feel like i'm getting the experience. i am insanely curious though: what could have possibly been going on in the fandom that inspired the trickster arc?

first of all im glad u liked my post!! i honestly just got really into my thoughts and i had to share it…. im a fake deep hoe LMAO

now to ur question! its a VERY gud one… but unfortunately the answer is kind of troubling. essentially, the short answer is “kids who were pro-social justice.”

to expand on that, u may need some background. homestuck during this time (2013) had a notoriously garbidge fandom, which was well known for being full of infighting. homestuck drew a lot of different fans from a lot of different backgrounds, and it caught on really well with kids on tumblr in the age range of 12-18.

during that time, social justice was getting really popular online, so i can safely say that most of the kids that were homestuck fans were also in support of sj. those who werent were usually intensely anti-sj, and rejected any notions of it, especially where homestuck was concerned. that might seem unrelated, but it actually plays a big part in a lot of problems that came about later on.

one of homestucks biggest positive points was the kids being aracial. hussie made it explicit in tweets and such that the kids were intended to be without race, so readers could fill in whatever they wanted. fan artists really liked that bc it meant they could draw the kids however they chose, and it would technically be canonically accurate. thats a very difficult thing for a webcomic of all things to do, so it was exciting to have the ability to make the kids super diverse, in any sense of the word!

unfortunately, the problem with this is that a lot of those fan artists were still making all the kids white. it didnt help that, in early pages, there were references to the characters being white (specifically bro, though if memory serves, john is also referred to as white), and much of the official merch also depicted them as white, like as the tarot cards that were released a few years back. even though hussie claimed to be dedicated to the aracial concept, there was a lot of pretty damning evidence that suggested he was really just depicting them as white.

pro-sj fans hated this, because even though the kids were TECHNICALLY aracial by the comics standards, it was clear that a bias was there. anti-sj fans defended the comic with their life against that criticism, saying it was the authors choice, and all sorts of similar things. that problem wasnt made any better by the introduction of kankri, a clear parody of Those Awful SJWs and a character which made it seem like hussie was siding with the anti-sj fans after all. at the time, i remember people trying to excuse it away by saying that kankri was an affectionate parody, or that it was only targeting Bad SJWs, or any other sorts of justifications.

it all came to a head in the beginning of the trickster arc tho, which, if you werent aware, originally had jane say this. it didnt help that he then went on to have ALL of the alpha kids appear in the same skin tone, and later made a tweet (that has since been deleted) saying that all of the trickster characters were white. it became pretty clear that the trickster arc, for all that it does contain some plot relevant stuff, was really just an excuse for hussie to isolate and mock the people that made up the majority of his fanbase.

though at the time i didnt fully understand that, looking back, it was a pretty swift knee to the gut for fans whose main reasons for enjoying homestuck had to do with the aracial aspect. on top of that, it was insanely audacious for hussie to even do something like that knowing that he was targeting a pretty sizable amount of his readers. to this day im not entirely sure what possessed him to do it.

naturally, though, there was a MASSIVE backlash, and people were fighting about it for days. a lot of people i knew at the time stopped reading homestuck because of it, and those who stuck with it but dropped it later on cited the trickster arc as the reason why. it got so bad that, soon afterward, he edited the page to the version thats still up, which says “peachy” instead.

the racial aspect aside, even the stuff that happens in the arc proper is pretty clearly based in stuff that was happening amongst fans. in the arc, all the tricksters (except dirk) want to marry each other and have “a zillion babies.” it was a pretty clear joke about shippers in the fandom (especially since the arc ends with dirk and jake breaking up, and they were a fan favorite couple until that point).

lastly, the fact that the arc just skips to the kids being in their respective moons, waiting to go god tier, seemed to be (in my humble analysis) a response to people who complained about the slowness of act 6. the trickster arc speeds the events of the story up considerably, to the point that we dont even see the path they take to get to the moons. they just. end up there. super hungover LMAO

but yeah tl;dr the trickster arc, or the handling of it anyway, was mainly a means of making fun of the pro-sj fans who rightfully addressed the fact that homestuck was failing as an “aracial” story, since there was a clear bias in favor of the kids being white. said mockery bombed spectacularly, cause, surprisingly, making fun of ur target audience is a bad idea.

#anya's anons #long post #thank u for giving me yet another undeserved platform to yell about homestuck #i appreciate it and i thank u very much #i hope u enjoyed my tedtalk #homestuck

20 notes · View notes

yhellowmil28 · 3 years

Text

Closure

My last letter to you..

I felt the need to do this so I can finally get the closure I wanted. I left unexpectedly bc I avoided confrontation about the problems in our relationship internally. I left because i knew if we stayed friends, we wouldnt have the same mutual feelings for each other anymore. I felt the more i stayed the more you were hoping i would still feel the same. But i didnt. The harshest reality is that our breakup was a slow burn. Overtime my feelings slowly disappeared and never came back. I dont know when it started but one day i woke up saying i dont wanna feel this way anymore and i started living by my word. There was a line where my heart had to stop loving and breaking bc i don’t know how many times i can put it back together again. Sorry if naconfused kta when i went back and forth on you. That pinaasa kta back then. Idk if i ever promised you anything but if i did im sorry i cant follow through with it. I realised maybe its time for me to believe and accept who you are and what your decided to do. Even though i didnt like it at least you were honest about it. Youre honest that youre unable to love me the way i needed to. You see I had an idealisation of you. I romanticised the love that i hoped for and your unwillingness to work for that was my perfect answer. So im sorry i can not reciprocate your feelings anymore. I had reasons to let go of you. I hope you understand my boundaries now and that what i had to offer doesnt come easy. Ethan, not every woman will correspond to your own time and healing. Not every woman will love you on your terms. Not every woman will wait and give you another chance pow. Thats on you and how youll take that responsibility. I have outgrown u in that and thats enough for me to let go. Im not gonna spend days waiting for you to recognise my worth and value.. that got me tired the first time round.

I reread your letters one day and i felt like you described how much i meant to u based on how i loved you unconditionally. But you still were holding back from change bc you thought i was never going to forgive you. Ethan im not gonna keep telling and emphasising how much i appreciated you. Ive reminded you that countless times in every letter and if it still left you wondering if i ever loved you back then you need a reality check. You cant love someone when you cant even love yourself first. You sought after my validation and love. You were never whole in the beginning. Maybe the next time you get into a relationship youll learn how to establish your boundaries and know your value and worth more. Bc recognising that will let you see the treatment people give you.

I went to church for nine days for Sto Nino. And recently on the eight day novena the priest talked about forgiveness. It made me remember during the time that we tried being friends and i remember still feeling deeply hurt by what you did to me and my friends. I never seemed to think about it until i heard his message. He said, “As humans we tend to be driven by our emotions. Only when we forgive can we receive God’s grace and peace. We run by this whenever others try to attack us by vile words and offence.” And i suddenly remembered crying as my hatred grew for you and i pushed the blame on you. Sa totoo lng i also have a fault in it. But instead i didnt want to hold accountable for it. I realised that i was not truthful to myself. I ignored and let my feelings got the best of me. And for that i do sincerely apologise. Sometimes we think people are undeserving to be forgiven due to the consequences they burdened you. (Come to think of it ayoko maging accountable for my own fault bc i didnt know how to fix the problem. And the problem made me very vulnerable. But i had to accept my wrong. I had to face them whether i liked it or not and own up my mistakes.) Though it's difficult it's not the matter of how much forgiveness they deserve but more of how much joy, happiness, and peace you really want in your life. And it's up to you if you're willing to let that go or hold on to it. So i forgive you ethan. It was hard to understand you at first but i realised that overtime the weight of pain does subsequently lighten up. And i dont hold anything against you at all. I dont hate you. Bc first, i got my answer and second its not your fault you didnt do what i needed you to do.

Not all the time everyone will love you for what you give. Your 100% in the relationship may differ from others but that doesnt mean you cant work on areas where you need to. Love is not linear. It is uncomfortable, unbalanced and everyday is a commitment. But if it doesnt benefit you anymore you have every right to leave. Im sorry for leaving you hanging like that but you knew what had to be done to let both of us heal. This was not my battle to fight. When i endured the pain, I thought i couldve done that alone. But i was forcing myself into something that wasnt for me. It takes two people for a relationship to work and sadly i felt like i was the only one trying. I learned that the hard way and with that there were shitty consequences. I failed to take accountability and blamed it on you and for that again i sincerely apologise. I may have worsen your trauma but you should know yourself and not let it define you. Oo makapal tlaga yung mukha ko. But where would i be if i let others opinion get the best of me. After what i did to my friends i still have more lessons to learn. One is that im not perfect. Ive committed many sins and mistakes that ive regretted since idk birth which left a hole inside of me. And God sees that im not perfect. It does not excuse me from being accountable for my actions but whats enlightening is that God has never judged me for my decisions in life. He has never abandoned me through every step of my journey regardless if ako yung kusang lumalayo. He sees through my flaws and impurity. And he healed me. The parable of the leper. Just watch this when you have time.. in day 3 it spoke a lot about Gods love for us. https://youtu.be/8KDz2VG8tUQ ...when i dont let myself be defined by my own problems and issues, it made me a stronger person.

But for now im gonna prioritise myself. And slowly gain back what i lost in the process of losing myself. As selfish as it may sound i dont feel the need of anyone to complete me. I am complete by myself and im happy. I could care less what you think what others will think as long as i know myself and i know what im capable of. For now i will keep my head up and heart open to those that deserve it. I wish you the best in life, ethan. I hope you still know that i care for you. I still have the same respect for you as a person.

You can reach out to us for anything. Well be here to support you if youre willing. Im okay, ive gotten over it and ive grown from this experience. I have so much to learn from myself and for now i need to focus and grow by myself. I pray everyday that you will heal and continue to seek for growth. I hope you dont condemn to what others made you believe. I hope that watever lofe throws at you youll still learn how to be kind. I hope you will find the wisdom and truth that God shows within our lives. I pray that whatever that is bearing upon your shoulders would soon be lifted up by the Lord. I hope you would allow yourself to forgive those who have done you wrong, and not hold on to the past and let it define you. I wish God would enlighten you with the wisdom of forgiveness and peace as He had forgiven us for our sins. Your identity is in him.

Ephesians 4:31-32; "Let all bitterness and wrath and anger and clamor and slander be put away from you, along with all malice. Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you."

Amen. Thank you for your time. Have a good day.

0 notes

forethan21 · 3 years

Text

Amen. Thank you for your time. Have a good day.

0 notes

blackrupee · 7 years

Note

Wow your life sounds complicated right now I'm sorry for that. So you aren't gonna have any managers what the fuck? And OH MY GOD I hate when people come in to eat so close to close!!!! ( I work @ zaxbys) if someone is acting passive aggressive I would act even more passive aggressive- make that bitch regret it- regarding the 2 guys: 2 guys is better than no guys:))) wish the first one didn't pressure you though. How did the 2nd one hurt you? - and I care so don't worry about boring me

hi hello would you like to read a novel on my life thanks i talk too much (tldrs at end)

nah like.. we had been managing with a general manager and 3 assistant managers even though we really need 4 so as not to overwork anyone. we recently hired a new one from a corporate arbys (we’re franchised) and two just quit. like i mentioned, theyre not coming back even though the original plan was that their new jobs would be only temporary (6 weeks). sooooo now we have a general manager who only works weekday day shifts, one assistant manager who is relatively new (she had been working at this place for a while but was promoted to manager 6ish months ago) and another who is brand new but still has some experience. they said theyre looking to promote from within initially, but they might have to hire outside people if no suitable potential manager is picked. id love to get manager pay and its not like managers do anything hard so id be WILLING to be a manager..like the whole reason why i got trained on backline was because we have such a big turnover rate with backline people since it fucking SUCKS and i was wanting to be helpful and flexible. so like. thats what i offerred. but one assistant manager was like “lmao all youd do is swear at the customers” and im like bitch when have i ever?? i talk shit about them all the time but ive only sworn IN FRONT OF a customer twice and neither time was it directed at them. but i mean im sitting on a small handful of customer complaints so its not like the gm would even consider me probably. idk dude. i can be nice if you pay me to be nice. but i get paid to do food and do it fast……….so

but yeah literallyyyyyyyyy i have no idea how people can be so??? inconsiderate???? and they dont??? care??? im learning that my contant frustration with people in my personal interactions is due to a disconnect between what i value in expectations and what actually happens. like. when i go somewhere i already KNOW what i want, so i say it quickly and competently. i preface a lot of my interactions with people im requesting food or services from with “i’m sorry but…”. i phrase things as “could i get” as opposed to “get me” or “i want” which sound HELLA rude tbh. id always have my money ready at the window or the register, im always trying to pay attention and not miss anything or just….be rude in any way bc i know fast food fucking sucks. i know some of the people i interact with probably hate their job as much as i do and i want to be the smallest burden i can be. and it seems like nearly no one else has these same values???? and i dont understand how people can just??? be? so? inconsiderate?

also yes bitch im the queen of passive aggression. literally the night before i was working a short shift and my friend was closing frontline and this bitch was closing drivethrough. i just got the okay to clock out and i was like “bye! have a beautiful night! just know that i love you so much and ive everything ive ever said has always been fake until this point! never meant anything ive ever said until now especially if your name starts with k or ends with ristin (drivethrough girl/the one whos being so difficult is named kristin) but just know that i love you!” and basically being really dramatic and extra as satire.

i guess for context the whole reason she decided to be mad at me was the other night when she was drunk and was like “do you even likeeeeeee meeee i feel like you hateeeee meeee wahh wahh wahhhh” even though im like…..yes bitch i enjoy your company? i joke/use hyperbole/satire/irony/whatever a lot but like occasionally id be like “ey yo you know its all jokes right u know i love u right” just to ensure that she knows but she fucking. ignores it all. i feel like she so desperately WANTS me to hate her and tbh i got fucking sick and tired of hearing her complain all the time about this shit! i fucking hate repeating myself! so sure. if you want me to hate you so fucking much there. i hate you. i fucking hate you so fucking much. like is that what you want to hear? is that validating? are you fucking happy?

its so fucking frustrating

but i will not be held accountable for her decision to be upset. because thats what it is. she wants to be upset, and she wants me to be responsible for it when its literally not my responsibility. i am absolutely not going to stand for this shit like i kind of want to say its emotional abuse lmaooo but im just so fucking sick of it.

everyone knows that i take chicken tenders and turnovers that would be thrown out at the end of the night and she was closing frontline yesterday and made a point to throw out the turnovers right next to me without asking if i wanted any/leaving any for me. i mean i completely expected her to be that petty of a bitch so it was kind of funny tbhonestly. also im p sure she unfollowed me here lmaoo

with regards to the guys and this paragraph could get a bit tmi/nsfw: yeah the first one kind of sucked but i feel like a little bit of the New Person Nerves have worn down so id do better if we were to hookup again. because like i totally would love to have fucked him but…..anxiety. he was hot tho. like 10/10 body and ass holy shit. plus he complimented me on my ass eating so (assuming that was genuine and not a vapid ego boost haha paranoia am i right) hopefully he comes back for seconds.

second guy ive had a longish history with. started talking to him at the beginning of last fall semester and we hooked up kinda regularly for about a month. things fell apart, we both understood that we wouldn’t be good dating wise but still enjoyed meaningless cuddles. whatever. it got to a point where he would only hit me up like once every month and a half or so and towards like january-ish he hits me up again. so im like nice cool lets chill. im getting ready for this but my phone is in the other room. while im doing this he drove by my place to pick me up (since he was on his way back from nashville), didnt get a response to an “im here” text (bc i was busy and tbh not expecting him to do that), and left. he lives within like walking distance tho so im like “?? sorry i was busy are you still out or should i walk over?“ and he texts me like “sorry hold up a thing just happened” and im like…….okay. so im just.. waiting around for him. periodically texting like “hey are we good for tonight and whats going on?” because like there was some drama with his friend? hes like.. apologizing and shit but this goes on for an hour. BUT. the ENTIRE time he’s dealing with this friend problem or whatever he’s literally on grindr. and at the end of this hour im like in full blown paranoia panic mode and i literally text him something mentioning this and he BLOCKS ME ON GRINDR so im like ??????!!!!??? and i text him (all while saying “not to be crazy or paranoid bc im probably coming off that way but like could i get an answer or something??”) AND HE LITERALLY SAYS HE DELETED HIS GRINDR. but thats a LIE because i have a secondary account to see like……if guys are still on grindr/if a thing with a guy might turn into something more like if i see he’s not on grindr as much?? thats prob incredibly stalkerish and probably really creepy but hey. thats me. so i KNOW he lied to me but i cant really say “hey ur a liar” without disclosing this weird creepy stalker part of me (funnily enough this isnt the first time a guy has lied to me and i caught it with my secondary account! so it proves to have some function use in the end. not totally crazy). so. yeah. that was the incident. after this i dont trust him at all, and i still dont, but i had it in my mind to like somehow get him to fall in love with me just so i could break his heart for doing this? never really worked out. so now im at the point where im like….eh he’s a piece of shit and i hate him but ill cuddle with him bc it feels good

back to nsfw/tmi: the sex was okay. he’s weird about people being near his like….dick and stuff because he was raped and i totally get it bc i was too but he was comfortable enough for me to finger him and my finger still hurts from where he clenched when he came lmaoooooo. was totally hot tho. and i got to east his ass so im like eyyyyyyyy. its been so long since ive eaten ass so having it two consecutive nights in a row has been cathartic.

tldr; we have 2 assisant managers and a gm rn. looking for more

tldr; bitch. same.

tldr; he’s a liar

#also anon ilusm i love the attention and you god bless

2 notes · View notes

murderedfowl-blog · 7 years

Text

ok y’all remember how like two days ago i was cryin in the Least Formal manner abt henry’s coping mechanisms & childish nature well here’s a proper(TM) hc post abt it strap in m’dudes here we go i don’t promise it’ll make sense but y’know i will Try

first & foremost , i wanna point out specific traits that henry possesses and then i’ll like... go into depth abt them or whatever but alrighty :

01. finding jokes / amusement in everything , even if it is not appropriate to do so 02. a desire to please / obey based on a perceived reward system , even if that reward is simply an absence of punishment 03. a fear of pain despite desiring death ( & an exciting death at that ) 04. the idea of ‘ power ’ vs ‘ weakness ’ / a closer look @ certain fears

k so here we go . . . first off , if we look at henry’s childhood it was not a happy place. the closest thing they had to positive companionship was animals , the love of other human beings a foreign affair from their earliest memories. even prior to the institution , things were not good & i imagine , that like most children , henry tried very hard ( at first ) to gain their parents’ love & affections ( there’s some quote that goes like . . . ‘ mother / parents are god in the eyes of a child ’ & i think that held true for some length of time ?? they v much wanted to please these beings who brought them into the world bc they were , despite it all , very precious to henry ) via being a ‘ good child ’ i.e. trying to do as told , regardless of what it was. while i don’t believe their parents simply dumped them in the woods ( the translations from jpn supports seem to suggest they did ‘ raise ’ them ) i do believe they were heavily neglectful , most likely not people who wanted a child at all but got stuck with one nonetheless. there was nothing henry could have done to make their parents fond of them , but ?? that is not a concept they will recognize until later.

so with that said , from that henry started to learn this idea of ‘ people pleasing ’ that they address a few times ( the most prominent ones that come to mind are their comment about ‘ if you don’t trust me , you can just kill me ’ & some comment that is made to robin about how the only order they won’t obey is ‘ don’t fight ’ , but i’ll address that a bit later on ) and the concept that they didn’t matter particularly , just the whims of those around them , something that was further expanded upon in the institution they were sent to.

from what henry says , we can assume it was not just an orphanage or place to house ‘ unruly ’ children. they mention spikes being on the floor & in a conversation with olivia they state ‘ It was in this institution my parents put me in, right~ there were quite severe punishments for kids who didn't listen -- that kind of stuff happened~ Now that was painful~ ’ which i am positive instilled in them a sense of obedience , further than that which their parents began. if you acted out , if you failed to do as told , if you fucked up in any capacity , you were subjected to extreme pain & near death experiences ( & frankly , i’m sure henry did watch some kids die while they were there ; accidents happen & no one seemed to care very much for these kids ) and henry has , without a doubt , been subjected to such pain themselves. which is where this idea of pain = bad , death = good likely begins to stem from as well ; pain is a prolonged thing , a very bad thing , a sign that you had done something wrong & it could hurt for very long periods of time , whereas death , they began to see , was instant release. to some degree , they were likely jealous of the kids that died , because at least then those kids were no longer suffering , never having to feel pain again. from this whole experience a lot of shit stemmed , not just that.

beyond just this concept of pain is bad , death is good , & a need to do as told , they were forced to normalize certain things at a very young age , those things being death , murder , blood , violence , pain , punishment . . . etc , etc. essentially , very bad things. being a kid , ‘ normalizing ’ them meant . . . not making them a ‘ comfort ’ per-se , but making them familiar in a way that wasn’t negative. to fear or hate them would have been too much for them to handle , so it had to become a game or an ‘ okay thing ’ & as such , henry’s fascination with war / blood / death became a coping mechanism , finding familiarity in such things as it was all they ever really knew and were unable to think of it was ‘ bad ’ ( on some level they are , of course , aware that it is not. a good thing. but to face that prospect is to face a lot of other shit that a child simply wasn’t prepared to do & that now , as an adult , henry is somewhat incapable of doing at present time bc their mind sort of ... stuck ??? them ??? in a child - like state because maturing was too difficult in the given environment ) and to a child if something isn’t bad then it must be good --- right ? thus comes the commentary of ‘ i love war ’ & a general chill attitude toward really morbid shit. but , beyond that , i think what they really appreciate is that they have this very familiar situation and where they are currently , they are not a victim of it. which brings me to point 04.

henry is not sadistic , in the sense that they do not find joy in the suffering of others & even go so far as to promise quick & painless deaths to people important to them b/c they understand that pain is a terrifying , awful thing. however. they do enjoy being in a position where they are ‘ powerful ’ i.e. in a position where they can inflict these situations vs. having to merely take them , though i think they vastly prefer like . . . giving quick deaths vs. painful ones , when they are on the battle field.

essentially henry is a scared child ( ‘ child ’ they’re an adult but y’know. childlike mentality. ) who doesn’t want to be hurt anymore but only recognizes carnage as a ‘ norm ’ & takes comfort in the fact that they now have a position in it wherein they may die , but they’re not a victim. they feel safer in this familiar environment , the way things are now. fear , i think , is a big motivator for them and they see a lot of things in a . . . not necessarily ‘ black and white ’ sort of sense , but a. ‘ if this is a thing then x isn’t ’ sort of ?? way ?? and there are exceptions and henry is capable of having in depth conversations abt it but like . . . they don’t want to lmao ?? not if ur gonna argue w/ them. so there’s that.

but that also brings me back to the ‘ don’t tell me not to fight ’ point from earlier. what i personally take that to mean is like . . . ‘ dont tell me to sit back and be hurt / let someone be hurt ’ bc that is , in a way , playing the victim again. being powerless in this sort of a situation. while henry is a very submissive person , they desperately don’t want to be hurt or put a helpless situation ever again. there’s a difference between people pleasing and letting yourself be put into a place where you’re actively suffering & can’t do anything about it.

oh yeah also henry is aware they’re coping lmao ,,, they know they use laughter and smiles and childlike behavior and the normalization of fucked up shit to get by , they know it’s not. actually ok. as seen in one of the convos they have w/ ... owain or inigo idr which rn but it’s one of them. so they’re capable of mature convos. abt this sort of shit but they : ) don’t like to have them : ) as much as they love oversharing that’s the sort of stuff u gotta like... fish out of them & they gotta be close to you before you get to the bottom of that can of worms so.

anyway i’m not sure this post had much of a point and it’s a bit all over the place and maybe unclear in some spots but this is how i chose 2 spend a solid hour of my life so here we are...

#` . * ✧ | ooc . headcanon #long post -#this is ... very long #why did i.#type so much. why ?? why did i.#oh right triggers #child abuse -#child neglect -#death ment -#death idealization -#sensitive material -#my catch all ... for ' idfk what else 2 tag this as but i feel like it needs more than that '#anyway this probs doesnt make sense but it's 2:30 in the morning so whatever #canon could smack this out of my hands and tell me im wrong w/ my analysis and i could Ignore It so like #twiddles my thumbs

4 notes · View notes

survivorelara · 5 years

Text

Episode #6: “"NOT ANYMOOOOOOOOOOOOOORE" - Big Z

Even though I misplayed my idol, I cannot believe that my incessant need for wanting Toby gone actually fucking worked. Like. I will be taking the credit for this one because I just fed it to my peoples and had Loris know about it and just controlled his emotional vulnerability. I would have been good without having the idol either... so wig- I fucked up on that end but WOWZA it feels good to actually lead a vote, see the vote go the way you want, and have my target argue with someone who HE thinks started this revolution. Hehehehhehee

bruh im getting major Byzantium teas right now... where my og tribe gets decimated and only two of us actually make it to the merge. right now theres only 3 of us left and just like then if only 2 of us make merge we're gonna start off as swing votes, then everyone will target us. please don't let that happen Byzantium wasn't my greatest org experience

LMAO SO DANI THINKS WE ARE DEAD TO HER BECAUSE WE BLINDSIDED HER AT THE LOUISE VOTE? poor girl. you're playing a vivor org, get over yourself. you better pray to GOD we don't lose or that you have an idol... because your ass is done otherwise. one way or another, like I said before, only 2 zosma's max are making merge lmao…

In the middle of the challenge, so this confessional will have to be brief. I can definitely WIN this challenge, but I do question if that's the best for my game. The other tribe had a unanimous 6-1 vote, so now it's an even 3-3 split over there.

If we win, it's possible that either they'll go to rocks, or one of the Revati's will flip to save themselves? (Because it's unlikely the Auva are dumb enough to flip on one-another since that'd give us majority in the merge.)

However our tribe is currently a 3-2-2 split, and while I don't THINK the two sets of two are working together, I can't eliminate the possibility that they'd gang up on us to eliminate one of us and evening the numbers for the merge.

It's difficult to say where this whole tribe will end up shaking down, but I'm hoping to avoid Tribal if I can help it. The less Tribal Councils I go to, the more options I have going into merge because I won't have necessarily hurt any feelings by voting a particular way.

Well, I crushed the challenge, scoring all 5 points on my tribe, everyone was talking about how I carried them... which already has me worried given my history of being labelled a challenge beast after only having one good challenge.

But at the very least no tribal, I'm curious if we'll be merging at 12 or if it'll be some other number. Guess I'll know soon enough, but it's nice to have a break for a bit, and I think I'm doing pretty well on bonding with others so as to better my position.

Dylan still never talks to me. So ideally he'll be gone soonish, either by us losing the next challenge or him serving as an early merge boot. But even if he sticks around I doubt it'll be a major problem.

MY HOPE, for the other tribe is to send home Drew or Roxy (preferably Drew since I know Roxy and can work with that I think), to split up that Power-Pair as Drew was a fool for spoiling that. I don't really care who goes so long as the Revati's stay, and if we DO lose

Now if I could just find a damn idol... or SOMETHING.

HELLO LITTLE MIX AND NICKI ARE COLLABING I REPREARJT HHHHHH THEYRE COLLABBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBBING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Jack Lawrence is so nice and so pretty. I would die for Jack. I would cry for Jsck. I will climb a mountain- and I hate walking. oh thats climbing I hate that too. Jack is nice Jack is kind. I shit on the Jack haters. He is just perfect. He could do nothing and still be thebest non-lead host. (Ya AJ shuttup) Anna Jane is PERFECTION. Erik is cutie she is cutie and I love AJ n Erik. She is hot and if I was gay i'd fuck. She is good listener and perfect and beautiful andeveryone get u a friend like AJ bc she is a BIG ASS MOOD in my life like stop being so perfect thanks

Sometimes I get confused about which day we’re on, so hopefully it’s day 14 lmao. The other tribe snatched Toby & I’m not surprised. Auva didn’t just make a mistake that will hinder themselves, but it will also affect what’s left of og Zosma. The Auvacados could’ve worked with Toby to start taking down Revati, but it would seem that they’re still out for vengeance. Toby was setup to be in a swing position, of course he’s gonna feel out both sides before choosing one. Now Auva is split with 3 on each side & I don’t see any of them flipping, unless og Auva is gullible again. Drew T. didn’t trust Revati either because he wasted an idol on himself even though Toby voted in favor of him. Flops.

Kori is legitimately a godsend. He c a r r i e d Revati in the challenge by scoring all 5 points that we needed to win. He says that he focused hard & waited for the messages to pop up which mind you were separated by intervals of several minutes in the span of 4 hours. Kori is a very humble dude & tries to downplay his capabilities, but he’s the GOAT. Maybe even the shield I needed. :O

I’m not too worried about Dani at this point in time. If Revati happens to lose then she would probably be the easiest to turn people against. Everyone participated in the music video challenge while she was the only one that did not, and she has a habit of sitting out. Sam told me that she hasn’t talked to him since the day we blindsided Louise & I’ve gotten the same treatment. Since I’m “dead to her”, I think that making a move against Dani pre-merge would benefit me in the long run. This would also change everyone’s perception of Sam and I to being non-threatening come merge as we don’t have the number

tea time sisters! toby was a king but was a threat and I have to see the benefits in him going. this tribal is going to be eventful I think... because I think I’m getting votes because roxy seems to really want me gone??? but i have a plan that I think will work :))))) I tell John to vote out drew t or roxy and I say that I know he doesn’t really want to vote out drew h so I’ll settle and sacrifice for drew t. if he’s fine with voting roxy then I tell him that I think I can get drew t to vote her too, and then we can vote him out next, when in reality we’ll vote out drew h next. if he wants to vote drew t now then I tell him me and z will do it too when hopefully z will vote out roxy with me and drew t instead because roxy is trying to get one of us out. ezpz . In fact we could even vote drew h. it’s all tea. I really hope z and John are loyal to me, I think z will be, and I think I can just play with me saying I trust you to John over and over. cute!!!! I stay winning... I can’t believe that I .. actually have a plan... that’s t it’s so easy idk why I couldn’t do this before my mind is just so powerful now? also auva idol is GONE and that’s fantastic and also I got legacy bitches!!!! only 7 more bitches need to go then I can use it :)

Soooooo half of this tribe is just completely inactive during the most important hours of this game prior to tribal. It’s SO FRUSTRATING because even if I want to make some sort of strategy with them it’ll take them at least 2-3 hours to reply to me. I cannot do this for too long. The other issue is that people are sooooo hesitant to throw names out, and when you do throw a name out literally EVERYONE hears that you started it and it gets turned on you. That happened to me when I said John’s name once to Roxy last tribal. I worry it’s about to happen to Loris suggesting Roxy too. We’ll see how it plays out, if I end up dying I’ll at least go on an active note rather than an inactive one.

THERE ARE TWO HOURS UNTIL TRIBAL AND LORIS IS THE ONLY ONE HERE

Whew another tribal and everyone is like absent again!? Wow we love productivity! Trademarked by the Celestial ORG! Please, come buy some productivity!

I hope we merge soon. My goal is to make it to merge without going to tribal. Idk how my tribe would pan out, we got a few inactive asf people. I dont have an idol but I really want one . tbh I'm so glad I took my break bc I'm not focused on winning im just focused on enjoying myself and my game while it lasts and I feel like its significantly improved my game.

Okay so Loris isn't talking to me but he's talking to other people so I'm being TOLD they're going for Roxy but I don't really believe it, I think if an idol is played, I'm dying courtesy of him and Z. Just gotta keep the faith in my people tbh

We doin big z vut doing loris kihhtve been better cause of her connections vut my nothing much I can do. I dint Rlly like the mrtge we r hesding into we r hella in minority

sometimes i forget im playing a org because all we do is win oh i got an idol btw hihihi

Honestly I am happy Toby went. HE WAS A BITCH! He wanted me out the the first round. Now to get Sam and Ciere out next. Expect Tea motherfuckers. Anyways, literally I have not talked a lot. I have gotten to know Kori. He is a shady fuck, I know that from past experience but I need him. I talked to Emma or Emmy or whatever the fuck her name is too. She seems really sweet.

ok so I think me and Ci'ere are bonding, which wow I never imagined that I would have a social game. I still haven't messaged Dani or Kori which is something I should do. The fact that they haven't messaged me, coupled with the fact that I'm alone on this tribe cements the fact that I am the obvious vote. Brb let me try to make connections.

SO we lost again, and my broken phone prevented me from participating in the challenge. Looking at this based on the challenge I should be leaving, buuuut I am going to be voting big Z out tonight, and because the auvas don't want rocks, they are going to do what I want. I have wanted this guy out from a game standpoint from the very beginning, but once you throw my name out there it's very hard to get back on my good side. Loris is going to be annoyed with me I am sure, he was trying to manipulate the situation between us but I could see right through the whole thing. I had a call with Roxy and she made an alliance with us and the two drews. She seemed to be worried that I would want to stick with loris and Z but I knew immediately what I wanted to do. I am really hoping that a merge will happen next, and that this move will not deeply affect me right away.

Big Z is voted out 4-2.

#episode #flyinghigh

0 notes