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#but it's not getting me aywhere. none of them are going anywhere
x-birdsong-x · 1 year
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edit: vent. tag rant vent.
feel like i'm just gonna go to bed one of these nights and be dead in the morning. i want to know what the fuck is wrong with me
#vent#have a dark bruise on my leg currently. can't remember if I noticed it yesterday or this morning#it's gotten darker through the day#it's scaring me i swear to god health issues and GAD do not fuc king mi x#if it's moved or gotten worse by morning i'm emailing in to college to say i won't be in and just going to the er just#to say find out what the fuck is wrong with me#it doesn't disappear if i press on it is that normal#i will be so fucking surprised if i'm around to see this holiday i don't want to go on in july#i found something i hadn't heard about recently that lines up with pretty much everything bothering me#and if it is the case#then i should just fucking come to terms with it#because if it is the case then it's in my bones already. maybe elsewhere too#i am so fucking tired of this#if my shoulders hurt tomorrow. qhich they will. i'm just gonna say i wanna go to the er#i don't even know if that would get me anywhere but i've been to doctors appointments multiple times i want tests done#how am i meant to say i reckon that's what might be wrong though. i can't just walk down to the doctors and ask to see one#it's good luck if you get a fucking phone call after an e-consult let alone anything face to face#i've been lucky getting those and got another one booked today for ym shoulders#but it's not getting me aywhere. none of them are going anywhere#i'm just having a breakdown right now#At this point I just want closure. confirmation of what's wrong with me.#there is something wrong with me something very wrong with me but I jsut want to put a title on it#put a. timer. on it.
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