#but it's also very fun in the way it plays into Joshua's decision to attempt coming off weak and physically harmless
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Anime Joshua is adorable, just, just look at him. He's baby.
Just a little guy! Completely harmless!
Obviously he needs a strong and competent player with prior experience to do all the heavy lifting! You wouldn't want him to get hurt, would you?
#ik in the interview they said they had to simplify his design#in order to animate him#but it's also very fun in the way it plays into Joshua's decision to attempt coming off weak and physically harmless#when you don't have the gameplay carrying that impression along#twewy#gif from wherever my phone keyboard pulls from idk actually
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Mr. Hale’s Art 301
August— Before Class
7 Months Earlier
Peter needed to remind himself more often that, high schooler or not, Lydia Martin was a force to be reckoned with.
She and the rest of the original Hale-now-McCall pack vowed revenge on him not long after he revived, but all went about it in different ways.
Scott McCall simply punched him in the face and left it at that.
Stiles Stilinski somehow managed to find and break into his apartment and sprinkle crushed wolfsbane into enough garments and towels that Peter was still wary when he was getting ready for the day.
When Allison Argent was alive, she repeatedly left arrows bearing her family sigil in both his home and places he frequented— presumably, like Stiles, to violate his sense of territory and just to show that she could.
Derek just brooded and looked by turns murderous and guilty whenever his uncle was in the room before he left town, though his stint as Alpha could be called punishment enough.
Lydia Martin, however, played the long game.
He still wasn’t quite sure how she’d managed it.
Somehow, despite Peter never sending in his resume or going for an official interview, Lydia Martin had arranged for him to become Beacon Hills Middle School’s new art teacher.
She’d even managed to have a touching, heartfelt story printed on the front page of the Beacon Hills Daily about the miraculously recovered coma patient attempting to give back to the community via imparting his gift to impressionable young minds.
How she’d found out he was capable of art despite all of his portfolios and most of his dissertation research burning in the fire was also a little beyond him, but he digressed.
Scott appeared so moved by the article that any attempts to suggest that Peter wasn’t actually going to take the job resulted in the alpha’s claws and fangs coming out in a way that promised either a maiming or expulsion from the McCall pack entirely.
And Peter had too many irons in too many fires to allow that to happen.
So he’s standing in the front office of Beacon Hills Middle School, contemplating the rictus of existential pain on the face of something he thinks is meant to be a beaver.
It’s one of the better methods that he’s devised so far of blocking out the scent of emerging hormones, social anxiety and too strong body spray belonging to over 300 adolescents that are sleepily beginning to shuffle into the halls of the building.
While waiting to meet the Principal and Assistant Principal of this farce of an educational facility at 6:30 in the fucking morning.
So yes, Lydia Martin needs to have a closer eye kept on her in future.
For the good of man- and werewolf-kind really.
Finally, finally, he’s able to hear a man’s footsteps walking towards where he’s been waiting and politely avoiding the leering gaze of the elderly secretary. For some reason the man’s heartbeat, as choked by cholesterol as it is, sounds vaguely familiar.
“Well, well, well. Long time, no see, Hale.”
A portly man with a large bald spot has swung open the door and stands there with his hands on his hips as though he’s in some kind of soap opera. He has the beginnings of jowls and a shiny badge with the words ‘Assistant Principal’ on it that smells like it’s recently been polished. He’s also got a look of cocksure smugness on his face that seems out of place for some reason—
Peter’s mind supplies an image of a gangly teenager with overlarge glasses, a perpetually resentful expression, one ill-fated month with a fedora, and several pathetic attempts at a beard.
“Tommy!” Peter exclaims, smothering as much delight into his tone as he possibly can. It’s galling that he has to work for this sniveling toad, but he’ll be dammed if he lets the scum of his high school know it. “It’s been ages since we graduated, how have you been? You seem to have done well for yourself.”
Tommy’s face drops into the nostalgic expression of sour resentment that Peter so fondly remembers. “It’s Assistant Principal Thorne to you, Hale.”
He turns sharply on his heel. “You’re late— not a promising start. Follow me.”
‘Because you kept me standing out here for 30 minutes while you primped for your grand entrance, you miserable tapeworm.’ Peter thinks, but does not say, plastering on his widest devil-may-care smile on his face instead.
Memory serves him well despite his brief sojourn into the great beyond, because Thorne’s face twists further in response before he feebly tries to not look like he loathes Peter’s guts.
He is lead into a warren of corridors that end in a door that is marginally nicer than the others, with the plaque ‘Principal Melinda Johnson’ on it.
Thorne knocks on it, and opens it when a pleasant female voice bids they enter.
The Principal is a professional, pleasant woman with cropped hair and prominently displayed family and wedding photos on her desk. She looks him in the eye when shaking his hand and tells him honestly that she is honored to have him on board her staff, without a whiff of arousal to be found in her scent to Peter’s subtle relief.
She is clearly more used to dealing with the administrative affairs of the school as her speech about her school and students makes it evident that she is laboring under the slightly misguided assumption that her successes as a parent have translated to successes as an educator.
Thorne continually shoots his boss dark glances that were overlaid with the warring stink of contempt and arousal.
Peter kept a disgusted snort to himself. The toad really hadn’t changed since high school. He’d been like that around Talia, loathing her for her position as Student Body President and objectifying her in the same breath.
It was one of Peter’s most cherished memories, watching his sister casually verbally tear the covetous little bastard a new one when he tried to suggest that she was somehow unsuitable for her position due to her “womanly concerns”.
It was just a shame she’d shot down his suggestions to tear Thorne’s gaseous black sedan a new one as well.
“And once again, Mr. Hale, may-I-say that your decision to come in so early for your new position shows remarkable promise for your future teaching career.” Principal Johnson enthuses, oblivious to the mutinous glares of her subordinate.
“Early, ma’am?” Peter inquires pleasantly, feeling the prickles of both righteous outrage and not-quite-so righteous homicidal urges at the sight of Thorne’s now sickly grinning face.
“Oh? Well, I thought Mr. Thorne had sent you the package that outlined the time slot for your class this year–1:30, wasn’t it Mr. Thorne?”
“12:30, Principal Johnson, just before A-lunch.” Thorne replies in a tone that does very little to disguise how smug he sounds.
Peter needs to clench his hands slightly to force his claws back in.
Don’t rip his throat out now. It’s too quick. Too painless. Wait until McCall’s pack is suitably weakened, then tear apart this farce of an educational facility while the toad whimpers, and string his guts from the rubble.
Maybe total his car beforehand just to rub salt in the wound.
Peter smiles sheepishly, making sure none of his intentions for the school or certain members of its incompetent staff are visible. “Unfortunately, my apartment’s mail system is a bit byzantine; it wouldn’t surprise me if one of my neighbors ended up with my packet and forgot to return it to me.”
“Oh dear! Well, I’m sure Mr. Thorne can easily print you off another copy, can’t you, Mr. Thorne?”
“Mr. Thorne” curls his lip and then attempts to straighten his expression into a genial smile at the small frown that flits across Principal Johnson’s face.
Peter keeps his look of boyish, charming innocence, and begins to plot exactly how he can have the assistant principal removed from office, and maybe even from the great state of California.
He’s got to amuse himself somehow during this torment, after all.
Peter wishes he’d been able to go home and at least nap for one of the six hours between his meeting with the principal and when he was due to start his class.
But no. Assistant Principal Thorne decided it was imperative for him to meet every member of the faculty that the school building had to offer.
After the third lunch lady and the fourth janitor, the adults began to blur together into an amorphous mass of names, ink and stress-soaked scents, and awful, awful fashion sense.
Really, Peter should be commended on his self-control for not ripping out Thorne’s throat in the boys’ locker rooms then dragging the body outside to claim that it was a random vicious mountain lion attack.
But he digresses.
A couple do stand out.
The gym teacher—Brody or something— who starts out acting like he belongs on McCall’s high school lacrosse team, before breaking down in hysterics over his ex-wife and children. The long-suffering faces of his students suggest that this isn’t an uncommon occurrence.
The mathematics teacher— a Ms. McGrath—who reeks unpleasantly of resentment and poorly concealed fear. She is in the Derek Hale School of trying to control people via shouting and threats, though hers are more geared towards grades than bodily harm.
The english teacher— Mr. Joshua Nord— is a name Peter takes the trouble to remember simply because he appears to be the least afraid of his own students. He could be tolerable company or the one most likely to stand up to Peter if he gets bored and decides to make his own fun.
By the time 12:00 rolls around, Peter already feels exhausted. He hasn’t even had to deal with any of the actual children yet.
He was suddenly very glad for Principal Johnson’s insistence that he only hold one small class this year, as though exposure to too many middle schoolers at once would send him back into a coma.
Still, at least the scents of paints, inks and clay was familiar enough that it loosens something in Peter’s chest a little.
Funny, the things you don’t realize you miss until they’re suddenly returned to you.
He decides to peruse the back rooms, see exactly what he’ll be working with and how much he’ll need to compensate for budget limitations.
It’s mostly cheap paints, crayola color pencils, crayons, markers, a few sharpies, and some watered-down india ink, but at least there’s a decent set of lino blocks, some traditionally “craft” materials, and several air-sealed bags of clay that make him grin in anticipation.
A pair of small footsteps approach his classroom, and the door creaks open.
Peter contemplates emerging, but none of his students should be here yet. The footsteps that creep into the room are cautious, hesitant, ready to turn and run at any moment.
There’s a couple of high-pitched whispers of “It’ll be on the desk!” and “Quickly, quickly!” and Peter shifts so that he’ll be able to spy on the intruders into his territory through the glass window in the back room door.
The brown hair that rests on the child’s shoulders reminds Peter of a beagle’s floppy ears. The bags under her eyes (it’s usually a her with that sort of hairstyle) only furthers the similarities as she looks around wide-eyed on her twitchy, overly-cautious journey to his desk, clutching a brightly colored piece of plastic.
There’s a scent of heavily applied makeup emanating from near the door, combined with high-pitched snickering, suggests that her lookout is most likely a girl as well.
The child finally gets to his desk, and Peter rolls his eyes at the sound of rustling papers.
Really, how does this child ever sneak anything past her parents or older relatives? It’s almost cartoonish how obvious she is— she makes Stilinski at his most discombobulated seem subtle and discrete.
There’s a soft scratching sound, and the scent of graphite. So a basic graffiti prank then. He hopes she at least does something more creative than a simple penis. Though it could make for a good first critique project...
The acrid burst of Sharpie ink gives him pause. Well, either she’s going above and beyond in the call of duty or, as the repetitive sound of the mark making suggests, she’s looking more to conceal something than to add.
Peter’s lips curl into a slow smirk.
The pencil scratches a few more times against the paper before the girl loses her nerve and barrels back towards the door of the classroom, bumping into her lookout, and the two sets of footsteps pound off down the hall, nervous giggles floating in their wake.
Peter lets himself out of the back room, and rearranges the freshly photocopied syllabi and scattered codes of conduct. He pauses to take in the results of the intruder’s meddling.
The smirk widens.
This promises to be interesting.
#my writing#art 301#art teacher Peter Hale#teen wolf#peter hale#art class#middle school#lydia martin#scott mccall#stiles stilinski#talia hale#teen wolf oc#chase brody#ocs#nanbaka oc#wkm oc#AP Thorne#Principal Johnson
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NORMANI - MOTIVATION
[6.94]
Then again, we might have discovered some get-up-and-go...
Josh Buck: In a single four-minute clip that plays like the arthouse version of the reference-heavy "thank u, next" video, Normani decisively earns her mononym.
[9]
Leonel Manzanares de la Rosa: Once, the great TSJ writer Josh Winters said that Normani would be the Dawn Richard of Fifth Harmony, and man, "Motivation" just proves him right.
[8]
Alfred Soto: What a powerful track: the Fifth Harmony singer chooses a falsetto floating above the whomping beats just enough for us to hear how the beats toughen her and her falsetto lightens them. To record an empowerment track that abjures self-help nostrums is deserving of a nineteen-week stay at #1.
[9]
Alex Clifton: As someone who came of age in the 2000s, I remember a time when the radio played good R&B to dance to; it was the soundtrack of every bar mitzvah and prom I attended. There's been a dearth of those sorts of songs since -- we've had some EDM bangers, but I've longed for a song that was less like a rave and more like a late summer block party. This is everything I could've wanted: the best song Beyoncé never released, a powderkeg of energy and fun that overwhelms and delights. The video choreography is already classic (I've been thinking about the basketball-bounce move for a week solid), I anticipate seeing this memed to death, and I'll enjoy every variant I see of it. Moreover, it's so wonderful to see Normani finally get a song where she can let loose -- rather than "Love Lies," which I found rather wet, "Motivation" is an actual showcase of Normani's talent. We're witnessing the bona fide birth of a star.
[10]
Wayne Weizhen Zhang: An iconic video with beautiful representation and killer choreography, a cast of A-list songwriters all bringing their A-game, and a song sturdy enough to back it all up: "Motivation" is nothing less than the birth of Normani as a star.
[8]
Katherine St Asaph: The fact that the Normani Starmaking Apparatus wasn't cranked into gear for the ludicrously underrated "Waves" but for this midtier 3LW song is baffling. It's "Check On It" when the moment calls for "Crazy in Love"; it's Kelly Rowland's "Motivation," i.e., managed expectations.
[4]
Tobi Tella: Everyone is begging and clamoring for Normani to happen, and while I have nothing against her, I'm not sure why? Maybe it's because I don't look on the days of Fifth Harmony with fond memories, or maybe it's all of her previous singles being generic midtempos. She has a nice enough voice but I just don't know if the it-factor is there somewhere, because it's certainly not in "Motivation." It's definitely fun and upbeat, and the 2000s noisy R&B pop intro gave me nostalgia for an older, tackier time, but everything about "Motivation" is too safe. The instrumental is nice but never really gets to the next level, the lyrics are beyond empty outside of slang, and there's nothing in the vocal performance that makes me want to call her out as the new superstar of our time. Props for the music video though -- I'd definitely play an only-Normani Just Dance.
[5]
Jessica Doyle: Something about this song isn't clicking for me, in a very fundamental way: the stutter of the background feels at odds, uncomfortably, with the rhythm of her voice. Watching the video didn't help: it felt like the choreography was designed for yet a third different song. I tried to concentrate on her voice alone, but then got distracted by wondering why the decision was made to draw on the final n in "motivation" but speed through consonants during the verses. "Dancing with a Stranger" drove me nuts because Normani was so good and everything else was so mushy, and now even when she's solo, there's all this noise (rather than song) getting in the way. I want her next song to be a simple power ballad, and I don't even like simple power ballads.
[4]
Joshua Minsoo Kim: A lot of excitement over an Ariana Grande b-side, huh
[4]
Kylo Nocom: Chirpy Dangerous Woman kitsch-pop that makes me happy in a way music hasn't in a long time. All music will henceforth be rated on whether it would be improved with a brass band breakdown or not.
[7]
Will Adams: The impressive video helps loads; without it I find myself checking Spotify to make sure I'm not listening to Ariana.
[4]
Joshua Copperman: The video is so clearly a [10], Dave Meyers finally forgoing special effects extravaganzas for something nostalgic that invites viewers into the celebration, rather than pushing them away in smug "you had to be there" (or "I had to be there") fashion. It props up the song, which has some already-iconic moments like the horn riff and the meme-in-waiting "it ain't regular, that ain't regular" but can't quite capture the same energy. A lot of this is due to how sparse the song is; the a cappella "think about it, ooh, I think about it" repeating at 1:52 and 2:37 shows a strange lack of creativity in the arrangement. With the video, those things can be forgiven, but there's not nearly enough nuance or detail in the production or even the lyrics to make this a vital listen on its own.
[6]
Joshua Lu: I can't shake the feeling that this is something I would find 30 songs deep into an algorithm-generated workout playlist, but regardless it's refreshing to hear Normani emerge so fully realized after years of unthreatening collaborations. Let's savor this moment before she's forced to work with Zedd or whoever.
[6]
Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Normani talks about giving us "innovation" but she's really doing everything but that here -- "Motivation" is a combined-arms formation of nostalgic R&B tropes, leaving behind the smooth, boring ballads that her first few solo singles trafficked in for something much higher energy. There's nothing really new here but Normani makes a compelling argument that there doesn't need to be -- to witness her at the head of the ersatz marching band is spectacular enough, she seems to claim. "Motivation" is a pop jam designed to show off its performer as a student of the game -- Ariana's co-write is painfully obvious, and the overall Beyoncé-ness of it all is a little on the nose. But the joy of "Motivation" is that it's a lot of fun even when you can see the machinery.
[8]
Nortey Dowuona: I have nothing to really say except: if Normani isn't the artist my (imaginary) niece names as her inspiration to pursue pop music, we have failed as a species. (Also, The Dancing is Better than that other guy.)
[10]
Vikram Joseph: "Motivation" just refuses to sit still. It snaps, fizzes, sways, pops, bounces off every wall in the building. It's an unadulterated hit of pure summer that makes me want to dance in ways that would be deeply ill-advised for me to attempt. It's incredibly immediate and possesses at least two instantly iconic pop moments ("ain't regular, that ain't regular!" and that sweet, delirious trumpet hook), and yet it's sonically rich and intensely intricate. It's irresistible, and really, why would you want to resist this?
[9]
[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]
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Kiss Me
Band: Seventeen
Member: All of them
Genre: Fluff/Smutish
Word count: 3240
~So this scenario idea just popped into my head earlier today, please enjoy! Also, this is going to be very very long!~
You left the Seventeen dorm with swollen and bruised lips and a shocked look on your face. You never expected your innocent visit to some of your best friends to turn out the way that it did.
Your visit started out like normal. The boys were playing video games, and you, Mingyu and Joshua were in the kitchen attempting to bake enough cupcakes for the 14 of you. Though he is called the housewife of seventeen and can cook amazingly, Mingyu isn’t that good at baking things. The first batch of cupcakes had ended up burnt to a crisp and un-edible, the second batch was only slightly better than that and the third batch was just barely acceptable.
You decided to make the icing for the cupcakes and let Joshua and Mingyu work on the next batch, which would be 1 of 9. Once you three were finally finished with baking, Mingyu yelled to the others. “FRESH CUPCAKES, COME GET EM BEFORE THEY’RE GONE!” A scuffle was heard in the hallway as 11 other boys came running into the kitchen to get the food. You ended up being pressed in between DK and Jeonghan while the boys ate, and thankfully Hoshi gave you two before the rest were devoured.
For the next hour or so, you all spread out through the living room and watched a movie that was of Jeonghan’s choosing (naturally). When the movie finished, you got up to go to the bathroom. You could feel the stares of some of the boys as you walked up the stairs to get to the bathroom. “Should we ask about it or just not bother?” Seungkwan quietly asked, making the rest of the band turn to look at him. “I mean, if we ask and she’s not comfortable with it, then it would be okay, but on the other hand, if she was okay with it, we would get to find out who is the best...” Mingyu piped up, looking at the three oldest who were contemplating it. “If we ask and she says that she’s not okay with it, then we drop the topic completely and never bring it up again.” Jeonghan told the group, and thankfully all of them nodded in agreement. “So we should ask her to decide which of us is the best kisser and see what she says?” Seungcheol asked, looking around the group. They all nodded again before Dino whisper-yelled. “She’s coming back!”
When you got back to the boys, something seemed off. They all looked nervous and refused to look at you. “Y/N? Can we ask you something?” Seungcheol softly spoke up, nerves dripping from his words. “Uh, sure?” you hesitantly replied. Seungcheol took a deep breath before speaking. “For a while we’ve all been wondering which of us was the best kisser, and we were wondering if you could, maybe, you know, decide for us?” A loud silence spread over the room as the words left his mouth. You looked in shock around at the group, mostly keeping your eyes on the main leader. “You don’t have to if you don’t want to though, there’s no pressure.” Joshua smiled kindly at you from his spot on the floor in between Hoshi and Vernon. You gulped slightly before taking a deep breath. “Okay.”
The living room was silent for a few more moments before noise filled it. “Really?” “Are you sure?” “We’re sorry if you felt pressured” and so many other words filled the air. Seungcheol suddenly jumped up and yelled to make everyone silent. He crossed the room to stand in front of you and gently put his hands on your shoulders. “Are you 100% sure that you are okay with this?” he asked, worry evident in his voice and eyes. Taking another deep breath, you reply. “Yes, I’m sure. And don’t worry, I don’t feel pressured. I think it would be kind of fun to be quite honest. “ A smile made it’s way onto Seungcheol and the rest of the bands faces.
“So how is this gonna go down anyway? There’s 13 of you and one of me.” you asked, looking around. “You can decide.” DK piped up, flashing you one of his famous megawatt smiles. “Okay..... How about we start from the units, then I can pick a winner from the top three.” Seventeen nods at that, it seemed fair enough. “And how about Performance unit first?” you bravely ask. The boys’ in question raise their eyebrows and their eyes open wide. “Okay....” they agree slowly, looking at each other nervously.
Once the boys were all sitting near you, you becken to Dino. “Maknae first. How long do you give?” you looked up at Seungcheol questioningly. “5 minutes. Whenever you are ready you two.” was all he said, getting out his phone and putting on the timer.
Dino looks at you nervously. “It’s okay, just relax.” you say before holding his face in your hands and pressing your lips gently to his. At first he was hesitant, and unsure of what to do with his lips and hands. After a few moments though, you felt his hands grip your waist tightly and he became more dominant. Dino pulled you hard against himself and let his tongue dart out to your lips, asking for entrance. Gladly you opened your mouth and your tongues started battling. In the background you could faintly hear the others hooting and hollering for their maknae, whose tongue was now exploring your mouth. He massaged the roof of your mouth with his tongue, which earned an approving moan from you. All too soon though, Seungcheol shouted that the 5 minutes was up. Dino reluctantly let you go, but not before pecking your lips one last time. The boys all started laughing at Dino, who looked down at his pants before covering his crotch. You let out a laugh before Seungcheol patted his back and sent him on the way to the second floor bathroom of the building. “Who’s next Y/N?”
“How about Minghao?” you asked, biting your bottom lip while thinking. The boy in question gulped and stood to join you in the middle of the circle his band had made. He seemed more tense than Dino and you were expecting to be the lead in this one. “When you are ready.” Seungcheol said again. Minghao just stared at you, watching your every move as you slowly stepped closer to him. When he felt your lips press against his, he felt his heart skip a beat. His hands slowly moved down to your waist, where they pulled you closer. Your arms made their way around his neck and you led the kiss, hoping that Minghao felt comfortable with what was going on. This kiss was considerably different from the maknaes. Where Dino was rough, Minghao wasn’t. His kiss was soft and almost shy, and he refused to open his mouth for any kind of french kissing. It was sweet though, and you enjoyed it all the same. “TIME” Seungcheol shouted again. When you pulled away, you noticed Dino and Vernon whispering to each other while looking at you occasionally.
Next up was Jun. He was clearly more confident than the two before him and as soon as Seungcheol uttered the words “When you’re ready” he quickly pulled you in and molded his lips to yours. His arms wrapped around your waist and pulled you flush against him, meaning that you had to wrap your arms tightly around his neck. It didn’t take long for your tongues to be fighting for dominace, and he won easily. While his tongue was exploring your mouth, you let out a slight moan as his hand wandered down to your butt, giving it a slight squeeze before going back up to your waist. Neither of you paid any attention to when Seungceol yelled time, meaning that you had to be pried off one another. A blush spread to your face as you realized what had happened. Jun also got sent to the upstairs bathroom after sending you a kind looking smile.
You bit your lip slightly and grabbed Hoshi’s hand, pulling him up to stand.He smirked at you slightly before pulling you into him, his lips grazing yours slightly while he waited for Seungcheols signal. You felt your heart rate speed up as his lips touched yours at Seungcheol’s words. To start with, Hoshi kissed you softly, his hands were respectful on your waist and behind your head. When he pulled away for air for a moment, you scanned the circle with your eyes and found some of the younger members palming themelves over their jeans and sweatpants, their eyes fixated on you and the dance master of their group. In a moment of boldness, you grabbed his head and pulled him back down, crashing your lips onto his in a more feverent fashion. He responded perfectly and even added some tongue in before time was called. Hoshi pecked your lips one more time before going back to his spot, looking at you almost expectantly. You let out a breath you didn’t even know you were holding and looked at Seungcheol. “So who won from the Performance unit?” he asked. You blinked for a moment. “I think that Hoshi won.” you told them, the boy in question jumping up and yelling in delight. “Who was runner up?” Seuncheol asked, making you bite your lip again. “Jun. Then Minghao and Dino tied.” you nodded decisively.
The boys decided you should take a break, and they let you get some food and water. The boys talked among themselves for a bit before you asked if you could go onto the balcony for some fresh air. The boys nodded and Seungcheol decided to join you. “Is this still okay for you?” he asked, ever the softie. “It’s fine Cheol. I wouldn’t have agreed to do this if I wasn’t okay with it.” you smiled softly at him, though your lips felt slightly numb and you weren’t sure if you were actually smiling. The older male chuckled slightly. “Who do you think will win?” he asked, his smile never leaving his face. “Honestly? Either you or Josh.” Seungcheol nodded and turned his head to the side to look at his bandmates. “Ready for another round?” he asked. You nodded slightly and stood up with his help.
“Hip Hop Unit next.” you declared, smiling at the nervous looking Vernon. “Who wants to go first?” you asked, smiling at the four boys. “I will.” Vernon volunteered immediately. When you were told the timer had started, Vernon nervously grabbed your waist, and pressed his lips to yours. You could almost feel his nervousness through his kiss. You somehow managed to lead him to the make out stage of the kiss. Your tongue gently found its way into his mouth and massage it’s roof gently. Vernon let out a muffled moan before pulling you flush against him and pressing his lips harder onto your, making your teeth clash slightly. It was at this point that you felt something hard poking your thigh, making one of your hands trail from his hair to his chest, bunching his shirt in your grasp. When 5 minutes was called, Vernon found it hard to pull himself away from you and did so reluctantly. Once he realized his problem though, his face turned bright red and he sped off to the bathroom making everyone in the room laugh. “So, who’s next?”
Wonwoo had decided he should go next. One of his hands held the back of your head and the other lay snugly on your waist. When the timer started, he got you as close to him as possible. Your arms went around his neck and your hands played with his hair a bit. After his tongue won the fight for dominance, he not only massaged the roof of your mouth but also your own tongue. You let out a loud-ish moan. Even though it was muffled but Wonwoo’s mouth, everyone in the room still heard it. They watched as you tried to get closer to Wonwoo but it was impossible because you were as close to him as you could get. When time was called, like with Jun, the two of you had to be pried apart, and Wonwoo, like a lot of the others, had to be sent to the bathroom.
Next up was Seungcheol. You and Cheol had been friends for years, but you had never kissed, even with games like spin-the-bottle in high school. The older male stepped closer to you and his hand cupped your face, gently rubbing his thumbs over your cheekbones. When time started, he leaned in slowly and let his lips graze yours slightly before he pressed them fully against yours. It took only moments for his left hand to be tangled in your hair and the other tight on your waist. He kissed you like this was the last time he was ever going to kiss anyone, and there was a desperation for intimacy hidden in the way he kissed you. Your lips moved in sync with his, and you found that you lost yourself in his soft lips and gentle holds because when someone yelled that time was up, you were startled. Seungcheol smiled down at you and pecked you on your forehead before moving to sit in Mingyu’s spot, the boy in question already standing in front of you.
When you were told that time had started, Mingyu leaned down and pecked you on the lips once, then twice. The third time he left his lips on yours and wrapped his arms around your waist. As you wrapped your arms around his neck, Mingyu deepened the kiss, tilting his head more to the side and before long he was picking you up, which meant you had to wrap your legs around his waist and cling tightly to his shoulders, before moving to the nearest table so that he didn’t have to bend as much to kiss you. He stood in between your legs and his hands wandered all over your body while his tongue invaded your mouth. The way he kissed was like he was trying to dominate you and your body, which you didn’t really like. When time was called, you knew who had won out of the hip hop unit. “Choi Seungcheol you win out of your unit.” you told the guys, struggling slightly because you were still out of breath from Mingyu’s kiss.
During the next break, you talked with Hoshi, who was worried about how bruised your lips were becoming. “Don’t worry about me Hosh, I’m fine.” you told him with laughter in you voice. He furrowed his eyebrows and walked to the freezer. “At least put an ice-pack on your lips, they’re really bruised and swollen and I’m worried about you.” You smiled up at the adorable man and kissed his cheek before putting the ice-pack on your lips. You watched as he blushed a dark shade of pink and watched you curiously. “TIME FOR THE SEMI FINALS.” Mingyu yelled through the house making people come running from everywhere.
“Right, time for vocal unit. Who’s up first?” you asked them. Jeonghan stepped forward. “And your 5 minutes begins now.” Jeonghan gently held your head in his hands before leaning down to your lips. Even though he was the second eldest and had dated and kissed girls’ before, he felt shy and timid when it came to you. He gently pressed his lips to yours, waiting for a response before continuing. It didn’t take long before you felt his tongue poke your lips, in which you granted him entry immediately. As the kiss deepened and became more passionate, your hands bunched his shirt up and his hands gripped at the back of your neck and your hips. When time was called, he slowly pulled away while looking into your eyes deeply. He turned his head to his leader after he lost your mini staring contest. “Woozi-ah, you’re up,”
The vocal unit leader was the same height as you thankfully and that made it easier for him to kiss you. When the time started, his hands gripped your hips tightly to bring you as close to him as possible. Your hands wound themselves into his hair and as the kiss deepened, you tugged gently, making a groan come out of his mouth. As the time slowly came to an end, he started gently biting your lips. This made you moan quite loudly as you had always liked that. When you were pulled away from the black haired producer, he shot you a small smile and rushed to the bathroom all while holding onto his crotch. “DK? Are you okay with being next?”
DK was very much nervous when he stepped in front of you. Smiling softly up at him, you gently take his face in your hands and kiss him softly when the timer is started. It takes over half of the time for him to figure out what to do with himself and it doens’t take long before the timer stops you two. He pulls away looking apologetic to which you smile softly at him before beckoning Joshua over. The third oldest of the group smiles at you and kisses your hand before the timer starts.
He gently tips your head up with his fingers under your chin and when Cheol says start, he gently presses his lips to yours. His lips feel soft, almost velvety as you kiss them. His hand under your chin slowly makes it’s way to the back of your head and his other hand falls to your lower back, pulling you closer. The kiss deepens slowly, and you are only just starting to use a little bit of tongue when time is called. Seungkwan comes up and shoves Joshua out of the way. Joshua quickly drops his hands from your face and moves almost sadly back to his seat between Vernon and Jeonghan.
Seungkwan’s kiss is rough and not very nice. He tries to take control but tries to kiss you far too fast, meaning that your teeth are clashing. He also doesn’t know what to do with his hands. This means that you feel constant pinches on your hips and waist. You want to breath a sigh of relief when the time is finally called. “Who won out of vocal unit Y/N?” Cheol asked you. “Josh did.” was all you said, a light blush covering your cheeks as you said those words.
Now it is down to three people to chose as the winner. Joshua, S.Coups or Hoshi. While you sat and thought about it, the room was silent. Everyone wanted to know who won. “I’ve made my decision.... Joshua won. Joshua is the best kisser.” you tell them, making the room errupt into noise.”CAN WE KNOW THE OFFICIAL RANKINGS?” Jun yelled over top of everyone, making them shut up. “Okay.... It goes Josh, Cheol, Hosh, Jun, Wonwoo, Jeonghan, Woozi, Mingyu, Vernon, Minghao, DK, Dino and Seungkwan.” the room erupted in noise again and you decided to step outside.
After that, dinner and another movie were a blur. Soon you had to go home, and that was how you walked out of Seventeen’s dorm with swollen and bruised lips with a shocked look on your face.
#seventeen#seventeen smuts#s.coups#jeonghan#joshua#jun#hoshi#wonwoo#woozi#DK#mingyu#the8#seungkwan#vernon#dino
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Buzzwords, De-buzzed: 10 Other Ways to Say fireinsidemusic.com
“THE more you dig right into a bit of Ives, the more enjoyment you have from it,” the pianist Jeremy Denk mentioned not too long ago, sitting at a piano inside of a rehearsal Area on the Juilliard University. “It’s like solving a puzzle.”
Then he enthusiastically deconstructed Ives’s “Concord” Sonata, untangling and detailing the themes and motifs embedded within the complex textures of the interesting rating.
Mr. Denk is going to release a disc, “Jeremy Denk Plays Ives” (Think Denk Media), that includes two piano sonatas, an esoteric choice of repertory for the debut solo album. But then, there's nothing generic concerning this adventurous musician. His vivacious intellect is manifest both equally in his playing and on his blog site, Assume Denk, an outlet for astute musical observations and witty musings, whether a lament about inedible meatballs or simply a spoof job interview with Sarah Palin.
Mr. Denk will reveal his more mainstream qualifications when he performs Liszt’s Piano Concerto No. one with Charles Dutoit and also the Philadelphia Orchestra commencing on Thursday on the Kimmel Centre in Philadelphia and on Oct. 12 at Carnegie Hall.
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Mr. Denk argues which the Ives sonatas, composed early during the twentieth century, are mistakenly categorized as avant-garde works instead of “epic Intimate sonatas with Lisztian thematic transformations.” On the relaxed listener, the audio that Mr. Denk describes while in the CD booklet as “brilliant, ingenious, tender, edgy, wild, unique, witty, haunting” can unquestionably audio avant-garde. Ives, who built his residing in the coverage enterprise, integrated jazz, riffs on Beethoven and American hymns, marches and people songs into his daringly experimental piano sonatas, full of polytonality, thematic layering and rhythmic complexity.
“It’s so splendidly in-your-face,” Mr. Denk said, demonstrating a very maniacal passage while in the “Concord” Sonata. “It’s also pretty astonishingly unsightly. There is a thing maddening about his sense of humor. Ives is continually thumbing his nose at you in a method.”
But Mr. Denk suggests that Ives’s tenderness, which he illuminates superbly In this particular recording, is underappreciated. “Ives is frequently about things recalled,” he said, “or Recollections or visions fetched from some difficult position.”
He played the harmonically misty passages in the next movement with the “Concord,” where by Ives directs that a bit of wood be pressed over the higher keys to produce a cluster chord. “It doesn’t sense gimmicky at all to me,” Mr. Denk explained. “It’s all blues in The underside. Ives knew the way to use Those people tiny clichéd bits of Americana in a means that all of a sudden will get your intestine. You can’t believe how touching it's.”
Mr. Denk, forty, has been passionate about Ives because his undergraduate days at Oberlin in Ohio, where he carried a double big in piano functionality and chemistry. “My overall double diploma knowledge was to some degree of the continuous freakout of 1 type of A different,” he claimed.
He had been a “really nerdy high school scholar” by using a constrained social existence, he stated. “Ever considering the fact that I had been a kid I planned to head to Oberlin and preferred the liberal arts. Certainly I really get rigorous satisfaction outside of drawing connections between parts and poems and literature and concepts.”
Mr. Denk explained himself to be a “practice maniac,” but his horizons have prolonged considerably beyond the apply area since Oberlin. When nibbling a massive bit of chocolate cream pie at an Upper West Facet diner near the condominium he has rented due to the fact about 1999, Mr. Denk referred to his blog, contacting it “an surprisingly excellent outlet to release tensions of one form or Yet another.” He claimed it had drawn new listeners to his concerts. An avid reader of liberal political weblogs, Mr. Denk desires of creating a classical music Model of Wonkette, he reported, but that might be not easy to do devoid of offending individuals. And he attempts to steer clear of offending persons, he extra, while he did not long ago write-up a rant about plan notes.
Mr. Denk, who phone calls himself “an actual Francophile,” is gentle-spoken but intense, his dialogue peppered with references to numerous “obsessions”: espresso, Ives, Bach, Proust, Baudelaire and Emerson.
He went off on “a Balzac mania” a number of years in the past, he claimed.
“That was a perilous time, and almost everything in everyday life seemed drawn outside of a Balzac novel,” he extra. “I misplaced about three decades of my lifetime to Proust. I’m guaranteed it improved anything, including my playing.
“Sooner or later my supervisor was like, ‘Dude, You should deal with your occupation and receiving your stuff together.’ ” At that point, Mr. Denk claimed, “I had been bringing Proust to conferences.” He extra: “I’m unsure I really experienced a occupation route. I had been just undertaking my Odd issue, which most likely gave the impression of a disastrous nonroute to a lot of the individuals that have been viewing around me. I don't forget some exasperated conferences with my management, Nevertheless they were incredibly affected person and faithful, which I’m insanely grateful for.”
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Mr. Denk grew up in Las Cruces, N.M., amongst two brothers, a son of audio-loving nonmusician parents. His father, who's got a doctorate in chemistry, has actually been (at diverse occasions) a Roman Catholic monk plus a director of Laptop or computer science at New Mexico Point out College.
Mr. Denk continues to be hooked on the chili peppers of Las Cruces, he said, seemingly only fifty percent joking: “The red and the green and The full spirituality of chili peppers. It’s nonetheless a large part of my everyday living. When I go house I go to this true dive and obsess in excess of their eco-friendly meat burrito.”
When not on tour, Mr. Denk spends time with his boyfriend, Patrick Posey, a saxophonist as well as director of orchestral things to do and preparing at Juilliard, wherever Mr. Denk been given his doctorate, researching with Herbert Stessin. Mr. Stessin recollects owning been impressed by “the maturity and intensity” of Mr. Denk’s participating in and remembers him as “an extraordinary university student who absorbed things pretty promptly.”
Mr. Denk said he “was in class permanently” until finally “at some time I made a decision to believe in my own instincts.” Now he teaches double-diploma undergraduates for the Bard Higher education Conservatory of Music. The pianist Allegra Chapman, who researched with him, explained he was “worried about quite a bit greater than the notes about the web site, constantly mentioning literary and historic references.”
“Now I attempt to technique songs within a more holistic viewpoint,” she additional. “He is incredibly passionate. He used to bounce around the area and bounce about and wave his arms. It was really enjoyable. He tried to get me to think about the music that has a sense of humor.”
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This blend of passion, humor and intellect, so vibrant in both equally Mr. Denk’s enjoying and his creating, is what distinguishes him, according to the violinist Joshua Bell. The 2 have already been normal duo companions because 2004, when they carried out with the Spoleto Competition United states.
“You obtain the mental musicians or people that have on their coronary heart on their own sleeve without having a number of musical imagined,” Mr. Bell reported, “but Jeremy manages to accomplish each, Which’s great. Now we have lots of arguments in rehearsal, and that is the fun component at the same time. The very fact we don’t generally see eye to eye keeps issues clean and would make me problem anything I do.”
Mr. Bell, whose options of repertory are generally additional regular than those of his much more adventurous colleague, mentioned he wasn’t normally an Ives enthusiast: “Having a good deal of contemporary tunes I’m somewhat cautious. Despite Ives, right up until I read Jeremy. He just delivers it alive. He has this sort of a terrific creativity, and nothing at all is done randomly.”
Ives’s piano sonatas, Mr. Denk mentioned, “are in a way like animals that don’t wish to be tamed.”
“Each individual efficiency needs to be so distinct,” he included, a person purpose he was to begin with hesitant to file them. Like Bach, he said, Ives leaves quite a bit to the performer’s creativeness.
A wonderful interpretation of your “Goldberg” Variants at Symphony Area in 2008 discovered Mr. Denk’s profound affinity with Bach. Mr. Denk will complete the do the job and Books one and 2 of Ligeti’s Études at Zankel Corridor on Feb. sixteen.
To keep the “Goldberg” Variations fresh, Mr. Denk is incorporating new fingerings, he stated, “to reactivate the link involving my brain and my fingers After i’m enjoying it.”
“I believe it’s an actual magical put If you have the muscle mass memory,” he extra, “even so the Mind is ahead from the fingers.”
Switching the fingerings is one method to avoid routine, he explained. “I get real pleasure from producing in a very fantastic fingering. It is actually like relearning the piece, and it tends to make you not acquire any Observe as a right.”
The musical philosophy Mr. Denk relates to Bach, Ives and other repertory is probably best summed up in that website submit on system notes: “I’ve never been a major enthusiast of your ‘Picture how revolutionary this piece was when it absolutely was composed’ college of inspiration. For my dollars, it ought to be innovative now. (And it's.) Whatever else the composer might have meant, he or she didn’t want you to definitely Believe, ‘Boy, that have to happen to be interesting back again then.’ The most basic compositional intent, the absolute ur-intent, is that you Enjoy it now, you enable it to be take place now.”
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Top of the Flops - Cursed (2005)
A brief introduction: I watch a lot of movies, and specifically, I watch a lot of terrible movies. On purpose. Perhaps it was growing up on Adam Sandler movies that did it, but I am naturally drawn to the mistakes of cinema. Making friends that are equally as obsessed with the annals of acrid cinema helped encourage my plight, as did the great podcast, How did this Get Made? I’ve learned to embrace my love of the hot garbage, yet all my terrible film watching tended to just fall into a well deep inside my brain where it’d remain, only to occasionally crawl back out and force me to admit: “Oh shit, I think i’ve seen that”. And so, with this feature, I will attempt to look these movies dead in the eye and say “.....alright then”. These films won’t necessarily be the traditional flop, but they will exist in one of three categories (or hopefully, all three): Financial Flop, Critical Flop, or Flop inside my own Heart. And we start with a movie that swipes at those three categories with a badly animated paw and succeeds at being all of them.
Budget: $38m
Gross: $29.6m
Rotten Tomatoes Rating: 16%
When you think about something being cursed, sure, you might think of someone bitten by a Hollywood Werewolf. Or, you might think of a film that is produced by Bob and Harvey Weinstein, the unsurpassed ineffectual tinkerers of Hollywood Movies. Cursed has a lot of curses, but it is hard to find one more damning than that of the Weinstein curse, which put this movie through years of production hell while they desperately attempted to lower the rating and stuff it full of stars so that people would actually go and see it. They failed wildly. Pandering is the bread and butter of Horror Cinema of the mid-2000s (let us not forget that Paris Hilton starred in the House of Wax remake that year) and boy does this film come off as a parent trying to access your love by accessing your CD collection (shit, ‘CD collection’? Sorry, this film has put me into 2005 mode, when I actually owned CDs by some of the bands in this soundtrack).
How pander-ific does it get? The film opens with a Bowling for Soup concert. Y’know, the guys who sang Girl all the Bad Guys Want? Yeah, them. Whether or not they were a voice of a generation, this film skews pretty young, and in case you were worried that they’re just aiming for the kids who ride skateboards, worry no more: the singer Mya is at the concert. Yes, the singer Mya. And the strangest thing is, the singer Mya doesn’t sing at all. Which is what, if anything, she was known for. It is entirely possible she showed up to the production, Wes Craven didn’t recognise her and instead cast her as “girl who flirts and therefore gets violently killed”. And later, the trifecta of “WHY ARE THEY THERE” musicians is complete when Lance Bass has a wordless cameo. Oh Bass, you truly were the Alfred Hitchcock of cameos! (Alfred Hitchcock was also the Alfred Hitchcock of cameos, as well as the Alfred Hitchcock of Alfred Hitchcocks).
Aside from Christina Ricci and Jesse Eisenberg leading the cast, (who no teen on earth cared about in 2005), the film’s attempt to celebrit-ise the cast list is, erm...weird? There’s Shannon Elizabeth (who was 5 years past being popular), Joshua Jackson (who was 10 years past being popular) and Scott Baio (who was literally never popular). As Bart once pointed out: “What’s a Chachi?”. And, if it had been released ten years later, the film could’ve had something on their hands with this cameo...
It’s odd that the film should be such a cynical Hollywood cheap-fest because writer Kevin Williamson (scribe of classics like Scream and...not classics like I Know What You Did Last Summer) is quite the meta lover, and is excitedly peppers the script with lots of digs at Hollywood. They’re not good digs: Jesse Eisenberg suggests that as the werewolf is from Hollywood, it might have breast implants, an image that’s so stupid, yet so viscerally disgusting, that I wish Eisenberg had never opened his bastard mouth to say it. Williamson is not much of a satirist outside of Scream, but you get the feeling he thinks he is. “I’m gonna make fun of dumb old Hollywood whilst making a film that is the most clear cut example of dumb old Hollywood. Haha! Take that, me!”.
The film has promise in its names: Wes Craven behind the camera and Rick Baker on makeup, but in reducing the film’s certificate, The Weinstein’s rid the movie of almost any of that great Baker body horror makeup, and any of that Craven intelligence. I can’t blame it all on them: the scariest thing about it is how horrifically directed it is: it looks like a TV Movie, and I genuinely would not surprised if Craven was napping through 80% of filming. And it’s an odd decision to rely so heavily on cheap looking CGI when Baker is around - it’s like they said “Great, we’ve got Rick Baker on board! Now, lets lock him in that cupboard over there for two years”. Because this film literally took over two years to make. A film taking a long time, a film having reshoots, and a film having rewrites, are three signs your film is in trouble. Cursed has all three of those. I mean, did it really sound promising when Men in Black 3′s rewrites were going so badly that they got Will Smith on board to help out? It damn well didn’t, and we ended up with a film with lines like “I will pimp-slap the shiznit out of you”. In 2012.
You can tell Cursed was filmed over gigantic periods of time, which would explain why nobody in the film appears to give a shit about anything that’s happening. Ricci, Eisenberg and Jackson seem so entirely bored and quite honestly, sleepy, that it’s baffling that Wes didn’t say ‘Hey can we try that once more but this time not shitty?’. Not that he cared too much - how do you direct a film from someone’s else’s script for nearly THREE years and still care? How do you maintain a solid and consistent directing style over three years? The answer is: you don’t.
I can not blame the bad performances. The script is so dire and laughable that caring about it requires energy which could be better spent on things such as making some lunch or clearing out your junk mail folders. I mean, what could Ricci possibly see in her character Ellie? She’s a talk show producer which never plays into her story, and after she and her brother are attacked by an LA Werewolf, what exciting changes in her occur? What emotional developments does she have to grapple with? Well for a starter, she wears a new shirt to work. It’s the most nondescript shirt imaginable, and yet it causes her co-worker to tell her she looks “Saucy”. Did I mention that this movie has no idea how people talk or act? She does so little else, except sniff the odd bit of blood, and worry that her brooding boyfriend, Joshua Jackson, isn’t happy with her. His story isn’t much better, the crux of his arc in the first half is “He loves to fuck so much, but can he learn to cut back on all the fucking?”. Oh, and he has a club to open, which is a bizarre Madame Tussauds of horror movie mannequins, but also Cher and Xena, and also a house of mirrors, and also a DJ. And Lance Bass attends the opening. It feels like the weirdest and laziest shoehorn of “Hey here’s some horror movie imagery so we can tie our movie to much better horror movies!”, and the twist is so predictable that I wrote in my notes “If Joshua Jackson doesn’t turn out to be a werewolf I will eat my own hands.”.
IF ONLY there was some framing to give me a hint! Darn it!
Meanwhile, Jesse Eisenberg plays Jimmy, who knows he is turning into a werewolf because he went on “internet search” and typed in the words “Werewolf L.A”. He doesn’t seem very bothered, though. As soon as they get home from their initial attack (during which Shannon Elizabeth is in a fiery car wreck and then dragged off to her death), he says, with casual indifference “Well. G’night”. After he saw a woman killed. And after they were attacked by a gigantic wolf. Nobody seems to care about anything that is happening, but why should they? Jimmy’s werewolf transformation is only marginally more exciting than Ellie’s, because he gets the Spiderman 3 style hair makeover (although this is spiky rather than floppy) and he can now suplex his bully.
Ellie’s transformation means she can catch a fly in her bare hand, y’know, just as werewolves are always doing. The film seems to forget that they’re actually supposed to be werewolves because they never actually turn into werewolves, and it never seems to affect their lives too badly. The traditional impetus for werewolves’ story arc is that they want to stop becoming a werewolves because they don’t want to kill people. That isn’t even hinted at with either Ellie or Jimmy - they never even try to kill anyone, they never fully transform, and the most dangerous Ellie gets is when she yells “Don’t start with me!” at a producer who doesn’t want Scott Baio to be bumped for Carrot Top. Seriously. A moment that is supposed to showcase Ellie’s newfound animal fury involves a conversation about Carrot Top and Scott Baio. For most of the film she doesn’t really believe she’s a werewolf, which gives us a contender for worst line of 2005: “Everybody’s cursed. It’s called life”. Her story is thoroughly underwritten, meanwhile you wish Jimmy’s story was not written at all.
Because he’s Jesse Eisenberg, he gets bullied by someone who throws homophobic slurs at him even though, as Jimmy repeatedly reminds us, he’s not gay. Poor straight kid! That must be tough, being straight! Some of these insults include “Your dog is gay too!”, and “You ass wimp wad”. But it’s okay, because it turns out the bully is gay! And not only that, but he turns up on Jimmy’s front porch and tries to kiss him, which leads to another of the worst/best lines of the film: “i’m not gay....i’m a werewolf”. The nonchalant way he just reveals that information is ridiculous, and is another demonstration of the way that nobody seems to care very much about anything in this movie. The film doesn’t seem to care very much about its set pieces either, one of which happens moments after the porch scene. The family dog for no apparent reason is a werewolf now, too! A vague, fuzzily CGI’d ball of brown that throws itself through windows!
“Ahh!! It’s an....onion bhaji?”
Meanwhile, Joshua Jackson’s secret kind of just falls out, as if Kevin Williamson was like “Oh RIGHT, there has to be an antagonist”. Joshua Jackson is a werewolf after all, and this draws the action towards the opening of his club, where Jimmy’s bully joins them for some reason, and proceeds to get knocked out instantly, a state in which he remains for the entire duration of the scene.
“My dying wish is that I one day star in a superhero show that is beloved for one season and then the most hated thing on TV for the second season”
The great TV writer John Swartzwelder was known for using “for some reason” in his scripts, which worked beautifully for a solid, absurd joke. But Cursed is a supposed horror film that takes “for some reason” and bases its entire third act on it. Why are they all here at this club? Why is Judy Greer turning into a werewolf now? And why, by any stretch of the imagination, did the writers think that, after having her looks insulted, it’d be a good idea to have the Greerwolf do this:
Yes, Judy Greer is the last-minute big bad wolf, but to what end? Where was all the build up to that? What is her motivation? And how much longer if there left of this film? She gives an expository dump about how much she hates women and thus wants to eat her, and it carries about as much weight as the fly that Ellie caught earlier (callbacks!). The big fight between Greerwolf and Jimmy & Ellie feels totally unearned, and they don’t even use any of their Werewolf abilities. I mean, sure, it’s a fun sight seeing Jesse Eisenberg charging at Greerwolf with a sword and shouting “yyAAAH YAAAAAAAH”, but the scene ends without Ellie and Jimmy doing anything impressive at all, and instead a bunch of cops just shooting her to death. It’s not very clever or satisfying. At least she got to crack a few lines before her time was up, including “Showtime. Isn’t that what they say?”. Uhh...yeah I guess? Good one? The film cannot seem to make up its mind on what any of the characters think or want, and so Joshua Jackson goes from good, to bad, to good and back to bad again, and not for one second does the disinterest on his face let up.
“I’m a fuckin wolf and uh, i’m gonna eat you now I guess. Or not. Wes!?”
The final set piece, which limps along after what feels like a 20 minute film (which is actually 100 minutes) occurs after 3 acts which involve zero emotional development, and zero cool werewolf moments. Surely now is the time for our protagonist, Ellie, to have both? Nah! Instead she slowly sort-of turns into a werewolf, by getting lumpy skin and big teeth. She never fully transforms (“It happens slowly at first” says Jackson, meaning “we don’t have the budget for a full transformation”) and doesn’t even get to overpower Joshua Jackson, which would’ve at least given her some agency and closure. That task is left to Jimmy who crawls around on the ceiling for a bit, (another classic werewolf attribute??) before eventually stopping Jackson with a shovel and a....cake serving knife. A cake serving knife that you see a lot of in the film, because apparently cake serving knives are really cool props to have as a sort of Chekhov’s Cake Server?
“Teenagers LOVE cake servers, right” - Kevin Williamson
Jimmy saves Ellie with the help of the cake server, and once Jackson is down, Ellie at the very least she gets to smash Jackson’s head off, and his body burns. Kitchen RUINED. She doesn’t even seem upset that she’s had to smash her supposed love’s head clean off his body. And mere moments after this, Jimmy’s crush comes to the door having found their were-dog, and conveniently knowing that a) it’s his dog and b) where he lives. They have a kiss and walk off, with his bully in attendance because apparently he doesn’t have a family of his own. They all got over that evening pretty fast. After tearing a werewolf’s head off and having your sister nearly killed, would you not want to hang out for a bit longer? Just have a bit of a night in? Instead, it’s a casual “Well that’s done then, bye!”. And there’s his arc. He’s made a friend, got a girlfriend, and saved his sister. And what was Ellie’s arc? She wears a new shirt, has her life nearly ended several times, has her house ruined, and then, as Jimmy fucks off with his mates, she closes the film with the line “I’m just gonna stay here and clean”. Seriously. That’s her resolution. That’s how she ends the film. Bloodied, miserable, alone, and cleaning up the gore in her kitchen. I can’t wait for Cursed 2 to see if she managed to successfully hoover up all that werewolf fur!!
It’s a real failure of a film in every regard. It does lean towards trying to be fun rather than trying to be scary, but couldn’t it have tried to be even a bit spooky? Could the jump scares have not been so endless and predictable. I mean, ten points for anyone who can guess where the jump scare is coming from in this scene:
Yes, a cuckoo clock is about as scary as it gets. I could tolerate the lack of care put into the story and the characters if the action and horror were there, but they really aren’t. There is nothing tense, well crafted or smart in the film. It’s baffling to think this is the guy who made Scream and A Nightmare on Elm Street, because this doesn’t just feel like it was directed by someone having an off day, it feels like it was directed by someone whose only experience is directing episodes of MTV’s Cribs. It doesn’t attempt to subvert, improve or even just successfully repeat the werewolf formula, instead it just throws random iconography from those movies at you with Dashboard Confessional songs playing loudly enough to distract you from this terrible film with an even more terrible soundtrack. Terrible, and yet I did have fun with it. It actually benefits from being flimsy and light as air, and as dreadful as it gets, I did appreciate it not taking itself too seriously. There are enough unintentionally funny and simply bizarre moments to make it an enjoyable watch, and it’s not the most hatable of films. It could almost have had a charm, if it wasn’t really, really, extremely bad.
Worth a hate watch?: Yes
Worst/best line: “I’m not gay....i’m a werewolf”
Worst film of 2005?: Son of the Mask, Deuce Bigalow: European Gigolo, Doom, XXX 2, The Pacifier and Bewitched all came out in 2005, so no. Cursed might be a bad film from a bad year, but it is not the worst. Rob Schneider knows very well which film is the worst of 2005.
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For the week of 12 August 2019
Quick Bits:
Absolute Carnage: Scream #1 begins a three-issue tie-in to the larger “Absolute Carnage” event, from Cullen Bunn, Gerardo Sandoval, Victor Nava, Erick Arciniega, and Cory Petit. It spotlights a trio of former symbiote hosts, including the titular Scream herself, who was dead. It’s interesting to see the length that Carnage’s influence can have as he tries to prepare the world for Knull.
| Published by Marvel
Absolute Carnage: Separation Anxiety #1 is a one-shot dealing with the other four symbiotes that resulted from the same experiment as Scream from Clay McLeod Chapman, Brian Level, Jordan Boyd, and Travis Lanham. Regardless of whether or not you’re reading the broader event, or know anything about the symbiotes’ history, this is a damn good horror story. It focuses on a family going through the nightmares of a separation and what happens when another horror is brought in from outside. The artwork from Level and Boyd is perfect and terrifying.
| Published by Marvel
Age of Conan: Valeria #1 begins the next Age of Conan mini-series focusing on the wider world of characters in Conan’s canon, from Meredith Finch, Aneke, Andy Troy, and Travis Lanham. This one expands on Valeria, from the Howard novella “Red Nails”, giving her a backstory and quest in finding her brother’s murderer.
| Published by Marvel
Analog #7 somehow manages to up the level of intrigue further as seemingly everyone alive that knows Jack tries to kill him, while Sam and Oona try to get more information on Oppenheimer. Great action scenes with the usual amount of black humour here from Gerry Duggan, David O’Sullivan, Mike Spicer, and Joe Sabino.
| Published by Image
Batman: Universe #2 continues reprinting the previously Walmart-exclusive story by Brian Michael Bendis, Nick Derington, Dave Stewart, and Josh Reed. It’s great. The humour is a wonderful touch amid a bevy of so many dark and grim Batman stories out there right now and the art from Derington and Stewart is amazing.
| Published by DC Comics
Batman & The Outsiders #4 is mostly a tale of preparation as both sides gather themselves and get ready for confrontation. It’s somewhat disturbing as to how easily and quickly Sofia has fallen under Ra’s al Ghul’s influence. Great art from Dexter Soy and Veronica Gandini.
| Published by DC Comics
Black Hammer/Justice League: Hammer of Justice #2 continues this wonderful crossover from Jeff Lemire, Michael Walsh, and Nate Piekos. There’s something very compelling about a Bruce Wayne who can’t stop being Batman even in a world where there’s seemingly no crime and disturbingly hilarious when Gail flirts with Aquaman.
| Published by Dark Horse & DC Comics
Captain Marvel #9 broadens the mystery in part two of “Falling Star” as Carol tries to track down Dr. Minerva and find out what’s going wrong with her powers. The conspiracy and secrets that Kelly Thompson is seeding into the story are wonderful.
| Published by Marvel
Catwoman #14 begins “Hermosa Heat” from Ram V, Mirka Andolfo, Arif Prianto, and Saida Temofonte. It sets up a heist that pegs Catwoman as a number one target for assassination from a united group of crime families and it’s a great start. Nice use of a number of DC’s villains and gorgeous artwork from Andolfo and Prianto.
| Published by DC Comics
Collapser #2 continues the brilliant madness from Mikey Way, Shaun Simon, Ilias Kyriazis, Cris Peter, and Simon Bowland. This issue tries to explain away Liam’s problems as schizophrenic hallucinations to disastrous results.
| Published by DC Comics / Young Animal
Critical Role: Vox Machina - Origins Series II #2 continues the quest to rescue Grog as Pike joins the party. The artwork from Olivia Samson and Msassyk is gorgeous. Especially the undead action scenes. Jody Houser again captures a lot of the humour and fun of the voice actors’ characters here.
| Published by Dark Horse
Detective Comics #1009 kicks off a pretty interesting predicament for Bruce in this airplane crash tale from Peter J. Tomasi, Christian Duce, Luis Guerrero, and Rob Leigh. It’s good to see Deadshot again and you’ve got to wonder who he was targeting among these businessmen.
| Published by DC Comics
Elephantmen 2261: The Pentalion Job #4 concludes this series in a rather interesting way. Definitely not what you’d expect. Wonderful art from Alex Medellin.
| Published by Comicraft
Event Leviathan #3 spends its time telling us why the Red Hood isn’t Leviathan while expertly evading the assembled detectives. Interesting that he outsmarts Batman and Robin here, let alone the rest of them. You’d think that this rather measured, slow pace of unveiling the mystery and telling the story would possibly be frustrating or boring, but it’s not. It doesn’t feel like a point extended and belaboured in usual decompressed stories, but rather natural elimination of suspects and events. It also helps that Alex Maleev's art is phenomenal and there are some genuinely hilarious zingers from Brian Michael Bendis.
| Published by DC Comics
Fantastic Four #13 concludes the Hulk vs. Thing fight. The artwork from Sean Izaakse and Marcio Menyz is phenomenal. Beautiful layouts, incredible action, and stunning colour work.
| Published by Marvel
The Flash #76 gives us part one of “The Death of the Speed Force” as it picks up on the previous threads of the new forces and attempts to start putting the family back together. Great art from Rafa Sandoval, Jordi Tarragona, and Tomeu Morey.
| Published by DC Comics
Ghosted in LA #2 is a bit of a weird one. The banter with the ghosts is wonderful, the art from Siobhan Keenan and Cathy Le is perfect, but how the story deals with a negging asshole is very odd. Especially as Daphne is then later castigated for bringing a guy back home, effectively breaking one of the terms of her staying at the house true, but he was prepared to rape her. It’s just...odd. Seems to be blaming the victim, framing them as her bad decisions in reacting to her ex seeing someone else, rather than anything else.
| Published by Boom Entertainment / BOOM! Box
Gideon Falls #16 takes a huge step with Norton, as he arrives in the farm town reality of Gideon Falls, and is essentially identified as Clara’s missing brother, Danny. It’s a very emotional issue from Jeff Lemire, Andrea Sorrentino, Dave Stewart, and Steve Wands, even as it gets even more disturbing.
| Published by Image
Gwenpool Strikes Back #1 is the very entertaining, funny debut of this new mini from Leah Williams, David Baldeón, Jesus Aburtov, and Joe Caramagna. It’s basically memes and shitposts as Gwen tries to figure out how to get a superpower in order to stay relevant in the 616. It’s hilarious.
| Published by Marvel
Hawkman #15 continues Carter’s problems with the Shadow Thief as he seeks help from the Shade. I love revisiting anything from James Robinson’s tenure on Starman, so it’s good to see Shade. The art from Pat Olliffe and Tom Palmer is a bit scratchier and looser than usual, but it fits the darker, shadowy aspect of the story.
| Published by DC Comics
Invaders #8 continues “Dead in the Water” from Chip Zdarsky, Carlos Magno, Butch Guice, Alex Guimarães, Dono Sánchez-Almara, and Travis Lanham. This one explicitly lays out what’s wrong with Namor and it’s fairly tragic.
| Published by Marvel
Justice League Odyssey #12 is the culmination of Darkseid’s plans from Dan Abnett, Will Conrad, Rain Beredo, and AndWorld Design. It’s bleak as it sets up Darkseid’s new Apokolis of Sepulkore, drastically changing some characters in the process. I don’t know how or if they’re going to get out of this.
| Published by DC Comics
The Life and Death of Toyo Harada #6 is an interesting “now here’s what really happened” ending for this series from Joshua Dysart, CAFU, Doug Braithwaite, Andrew Dalhouse, Diego Rodriguez, and Dave Sharpe. It’s interesting to see how Harada survived and his mindscape confrontation with the kinds of creatures that currently possess Angela.
| Published by Valiant
Loki #2 is even better than the first issue, building out a very interesting quandary as Loki tries to figure out who he is now beyond ruler of Jotunheim and “Thor’s brother”, as he contemplates a status as “god of nothing”. Daniel Kibblesmith, Oscar Bazaldua, David Curiel, and Clayton Cowles lead us on a rather humorous journey with a very interesting cliffhanger.
| Published by Marvel
Miles Morales: Spider-Man #9 may be the strongest issue to date, which is saying a bit since this series has been solid since day one, as Miles’ dad and uncle stage a plan to rescue him. Saladin Ahmed, Javier Garrón, David Curiel, and Cory Petit deliver an emotionally rewarding tale, with some very impressive layouts and action, particularly as the rescue kicks off.
| Published by Marvel
Oblivion Song #18 continues the confrontation with the Faceless Men. It’s less than positive. It’s interesting how this has gone south faster than expected, developing the previously unseen rivals on Oblivion fairly quickly and in rather surprising ways. Robert Kirkman, Lorenzo De Felici, Annalisa Leoni, and Rus Wooton continue to regularly upend the status quo with each issue.
| Published by Image / Skybound
Once & Future #1 is a thoroughly excellent debut from Kieron Gillen, Dan Mora, Tamra Bonvillain, and Ed Dukeshire, blending offbeat characters, humour, and British folklore.
| Published by BOOM! Studios
Outer Darkness #9 is another highly entertaining issue as the crew comes across a science station whose staff have been driven to murder one another. I’m still loving how John Layman, Afu Chan, and Pat Brosseau are playing with mixing different conventions of horror, sci-fi, and episodic storytelling to build this narrative.
| Published by Image / Skybound
Punisher Kill Krew #1 is another spin-off from War of the Realms, cleaning up loose ends from Malekith’s forces’ spree on Earth from Gerry Duggan, Juan Ferreyra, and Cory Petit. It’s bizarre and hilarious to see Frank Castle continuing on against monsters, but very entertaining. Also, Ferreyra’s art is gorgeous.
| Published by Marvel
Punk Mambo #5 concludes this series with a confrontation between Punk Mambo and Azaire. The artwork from Adam Gorham and José Villarrubia is gorgeous, with very impressive attention to the different loa.
| Published by Valiant
Reaver #2 expands upon the party, allowing them to bond a bit and develop the characters a bit more. Some things definitely don’t seem to be as they seem. More low magic fantasy fun from Justin Jordan, Rebekah Isaacs, Alex Guimarães, and Clayton Cowles.
| Published by Image / Skybound
Red Sonja #7 continues on from the shift in the Lord of Fools one-shot, with Bob Q providing line art, as Sonja tries to outthink and outmanoeuvre Dragan’s forces. It’s interesting to see the tactics involved here, especially as Dragan seems to be losing more and more sanity.
| Published by Dynamite
Road of Bones #4 is the disturbing end to what has been a brutal horror story from Rich Douek, Alex Cormack, and Justin Birch. It definitely makes you think about how far someone will go for survival and possibly even what lies they tell themselves in order to carry on.
| Published by IDW
Rumble #15 concludes the “Last Knight” arc in a very interesting way. Interesting bits about sacrifice and family, even as the void begins consuming all. Gorgeous artwork from David Rubín and Dave Stewart.
| Published by Image
Second Coming #2 continues to be an interesting mix of dark humour and social commentary as Sunstar continues to go horribly, horribly awry in try to teach Jesus how to be a superhero. Mark Russell, Richard Pace, Leonard Kirk, Andy Troy, and Rob Steen are telling a very interesting story here.
| Published by Ahoy
She Could Fly: The Lost Pilot #5 brings this second story to an end as Luna finds out what actually happened to the pilot. It’s actually surprisingly normal given all of the oddity that has taken place in these series. Great work from Christopher Cantwell, Martín Morazzo, Miroslav Mrva, and Clem Robins.
| Published by Dark Horse / Berger Books
Silver Surfer: Black #3 gets a little bit trippier as Silver Surfer tries to help Ego with a little infection problem. The art from Tradd Moore and Dave Stewart is gorgeous.
| Published by Marvel
Sonata #3 reveals more of the planet’s secrets and the peoples’ various mythologies about it. It’s interesting to see two different groups of people lay claim to an individual place and incorporate it into their religion in a sci-fi/fantasy story. It’s somewhat similar to how divergent faiths lay claim to Jerusalem. Beautiful artwork from Brian Haberlin and Geirrod Van Dyke.
| Published by Image / Shadowline
Usagi Yojimbo #3 concludes the first arc published by IDW, “Bunraku”, and it’s damn good. It’s taken me a bit to get used to the series in colour, though Tom Luth is doing a great job, but the story and art from Stan Sakai have remained fantastic regardless.
| Published by IDW
The White Trees #1 is a very haunting, moody fantasy tale from Chip Zdarsky, Kris Anka, Matt Wilson, and Aditya Bidikar. The artwork is astoundingly beautiful as three parents, legends from a past war that seemingly fractured their friendship, search for their kidnapped children.
| Published by Image
Wonder Woman #76 sees a fair amount of reunions as Themyscira and Earth are bridged again allowing for passage. Very nice art from Lee Garbett and Romulo Fajardo Jr. Also, one killer of an ending.
| Published by DC Comics
Other Highlights: Amazing Spider-Man #27, Conan the Barbarian: Exodus #1, Doctor Strange #17, Doctor Who: The Thirteenth Doctor #11, Friendly Neighborhood Spider-Man #10, Go Go Power Rangers #22, Gogor #4, Hit-Girl: Season 2 #7, House of Whispers #12, Infinity 8 #14, Immortal Hulk: Director’s Cut #1, Ironheart #9, James Bond: Origin #12, Joe Golem: Occult Detective - The Conjurors #4, Orphan Age #5, Powers of X #2, Sharkey: The Bounty Hunter #5, Silver Surfer: Prodigal Sun #1, Star Trek: Year Five #4, Star Wars: Target Vader #2, Star Wars Adventures Annual 2019, Sword Master #2, Symbiote Spider-Man #5, Titans: Burning Rage #1, The Unbeatable Squirrel Girl #47, Unearth #2, Unnatural #12, The Warning #10, Xena: Warrior Princess #5
Recommended Collections: Amazing Spider-Man: Hunted, Archie by Nick Spencer - Volume 1, Asgardians of the Galaxy - Volume 2: War of the Realms, Batman/Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles II, Elvira: Mistress of the Dark - Volume 1, Guardians of the Galaxy - Volume 1: The Final Gauntlet, Lightstep, Mr. & Mrs. X - Volume 2: Gambit and Rogue Forever, Ninja-K Deluxe Edition, Sideways - Volume 2: Rifts & Revelations, Sparrowhawk, TMNT: Urban Legends - Volume 2, Vampirella vs. Reanimator, War of the Realms, Xena - Volume 2: Mind Games
d. emerson eddy might be a vampire hunter.
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Sports Night – Episode One – Pilot
Season One: Episode 1: Pilot
Original Air Date: 22 September 1998
Written By: Aaron Sorkin
Directed By: Thomas Schlamme
Starring: Josh Charles, Peter Krause, Felicity Huffman, Joshua Malina, Sabrina Lloyd, and Robert Guillaume
Also Starring: Kayla Blake, Greg Baker, Timothy Davis-Reed, Ron Ostrow
Guest Starring: Robert Maihouse, Bernard Hocke, Nina Jane Barry
Spoiler-Free Summary
Sports Night is show that takes place at the New York Headquarters of a sports show called– appropriately enough–Sports Night. The pilot episode–the first episode of television the Aaron Sorkin ever wrote–does a more than adequate job of introducing the setting and characters, and setting up the primary conflicts for the run of the show. We have our two stars, Dan Rydell & Casey McCall (Charles & Krause), who anchor the show from NYC (later we'll be introduced to some of he show's on-air analysts and field reporters) and the production staff led by Managing Editor Isaac Jaffe (Guillaume), Executive Producer Dana Whitaker (Huffman), and Senior Associate Producer Natalie Hurley (Lloyd). Joining the show-within-a-show is Jeremy Goodwin (Malina,) who has a rather awkward but very verbose interview in the third act of the episode.
In the pilot episode there is immediately a major problem to solve that has ripple effects throughout the personal and professional relationships of the ensemble. Casey is recently divorced and, as a result of not dealing with his issues surrounding his marriage, his job performance is suffering. His friends & coworkers attempt to help Casey return exercising his full potential behind the anchor desk. Casey's performance on the air–or lack thereof–catches the attention of the representative of the Network, J.J. (Mailhouse), who wants to replace him.
As we kick off the first entry in the Sports Night portion of the Rewatch, try not to be too distracted by the now-preciously-ancient laptops & other electronics, and enjoy what Sorkin himself refers to as "the redemptive power of sports."
The Breakdown
[SPOILERS AHEAD]
The first thing that needs to be addressed is the incredible distraction that is the artificial laugh track. The ABC executives weren't sure that the audience would know that the show was supposed to be funny without the artificial laughter added, even though Sports Night "doesn't have the rhythms of a
regular sitcom," Sorkin explains on the DVD commentary. The laugh track will gradually fade through the first dozen or so episodes, so we won't have to deal with it for the entire run of the series. On to more relevant things...
The pilot introduces the six principle members of the ensemble by setting up an immediate conflict to pit them against each other, and make them find reasons to unite. The storyline of the pilot episode is not so different from A Few Good Men or The American President. Our protagonist has some deep-seated emotional issues that he cannot deal with alone, and performs uncharacteristically poorly at their job until pushed to greatness by those around him.
Casey
Here we see Casey McCall in the Dan Kaffee/Andy Shepherd role, unable to process the frustration and loss and confusion of his recent divorce. His writing partner Dan and his producer Dana try to hold his hand through this personal transition, while preventing him from doing to too much damage to the institution of the show itself. Much like any other personality-driven television program, the face of the show is the show in the public eye, so Casey not being Casey is a big problem for Sports Night–one that cost people their jobs.
Peter Krause, doesn't have enough time in this first episode to completely flesh out Casey's brilliance and complexities, but cracks open the door for the audience to peer through. His transformation at the end of the episode ("Ntozake Nelsen's got something' to say about a world record!") is truly a thing to behold, especially given his lackluster reads at the top of the show.
Dan
Dan's main function in this episode is comic relief, as the audience adjusts to the interplay of the characters and Sorkin's unique dialogue style. He is having a "New York Renaissance," and gleefully pesters everyone in sight with his epiphanies about the city. Josh Charles never allows us to think that Dan is vapid or insubstantial, however. When J.J.-the-suit tries to get Dan to turncoat on Casey in favor of another partner, he responds with singular pith and intensity, "My future is writing and anchoring a sports program with my partner, Casey McCall. Now if it's here, it's here, if it's not, it is someplace else."
His loyalty and passion are expressed even more forcefully at the end of the episode, when he confronts his writing partner head-on about his issues. Danny's is easily the best speech of the night, as he refutes the petty problems objections Casey is hiding behind.
I've been here every day Casey, every day. And I have kept my mouth shut, because that's what you asked me to do. But if you'd've asked me, I'd've told you that Lisa is an angry, unhappy, punishing woman, and in ten years there's never been a single moment that has suggested to me that she has any affection for you at all. And I have no patience for people like that. Now the people here, they like you. Isaac, Natalie, Kim, Elliot... I don't know who the new guy Jeremy is, but he seems to like you just fine. Have you even noticed that Dana's been keeping J.J. and the network away from you with a whip and a chair? Huh? Have you noticed that she's been risking her job for you every day? And do you really think, my friend, that it has that much to do with your talent? These are people who like you, okay? They know what you've been going through, and for three months now, you have shown us nothing but the back of your hand–and now you're gonna show us the door? Well excuse me, but the wisdom of your decision isn't entirely clear to me here, okay?
This is the critical moment for Casey–and by extension, the show as we know it. Without this moment of confrontation, maybe Casey really does leave, and who knows what Sports Night becomes without the Dan-Casey-Dana partnership at it's heart. Danny doesn't single-handedly solve the problem, but he provides a crucial setup for the finale.
Dana
"You're screwing up my show," Dana tells Casey during the first heart-to-heart Casey experiences in this episode. This is just one in a series of management-level decisions and conversations that Dana, as Executive Producer, is called upon to conduct in the pilot, alone. She rides herd over the office shenanigans of her producers and the many myriad departments necessary to run a live nightly television show.
Like Dan & Casey, her personal loyalties are just as important as her professional connections. She stands up for Casey not just because it's her duty as a boss, but because it's her role as a friend, telling Isaac, "I owe it to him... We all do."
And also like Dan & Casey–and basically everyone else in the Sports Night cast/family–sports isn't just Dana's vocation, but her passion. We'll learn more later about her personal connections to the world of professional athletics, but during this episode it's easy to see that this woman loves what he does.
Isaac
There is no question from the way Robert Guillaume walks that Isaac Jaffe is in the man in charge. He is the leader of the ensemble, managing his staff and their corporate bosses with confidence and a plainspoken eloquence. We'll get more of his backstory in a few episodes, and hear about the incredible career in journalism and broadcasting he has had. Isaac is far more than just another suit, and Sports Night will never stop reminding us throughout the run of the series.
Natalie
The character that may be the most underdeveloped in the pilot is Natalie Hurley. Sabrina Lloyd will be given far more to sink her teeth into in subsequent episodes, but for now, Natalie seems rather similar to Samantha Mathis's Janie Basdin from A Few Good Men: a person playing an exceptionally professional and dedicated supporting role. Natalie clearly has substantial responsibilities on the show, given her position as Dana's right hand in production and management, but we have yet to see her at her strongest. For now, she is depicted as being confident and passionate, but still a bit of a goof.
Jeremy
Our introduction to Jeremy Goodwin comes four and a half minutes (& an entire act break) before we actually see him on screen.
Dana mentions to Isaac that she'll be interviewing the "finalist" candidate to fill an open associate producer slot that afternoon, and Natalie (the only staff member who has met Jeremy thus far) describes him in perhaps a less than professional way. "You guys, he is so totally cute and intense, with a dark mystery about him that says: 'this is not a technician, this in an artist.'"
When the time finally comes for his interview, he is crippled by anxiety brought on by breathless enthusiasm. What follows is his spectacularly eloquent and impassioned freak-out.
SORKINISMS
This being just the series premier, we're a bit light on proper Sorkinisms, but we do have a few fun examples of the characteristic, Sorkin-esque dialogue. When Isaac and Dana are headed into their daily rundown meeting, they briefly discuss Casey's on-air performance, and Isaac tells her, "I know all about his problems. You know, the network knows about his problems, too. As a result of which, they become my problems, and I'm saying at the very most, I want them to be your problems." Additionally, we have the sequence in the rundown meeting, where Casey continually insists–interjecting into the conversation of those around him–that "he can't kick."
THE MIGHTY SORKIN PLAYERS
The role that Joshua Malina plays in Sports Night is the first of his television career. Malina had originally read for the part of Dan Rydell, but after losing out to Josh Charles, the part of Jeremy Goodwin was rewritten so that Malina could play it as a series regular. Another tidbit on the 10th Anniversary DVD Commentary: Sorkin and Felicity Huffman knew each other from "coming up together" doing theater in New York in the 1980s. Huffman was a member of Atlantic Theatre Company when it did the first "out-loud reading of A Few Good Men." Peter Krause and Aaron Sorkin tended bar together before they were able to work full time in their respective disciplines.
Greg Baker, who plays Eliot, will have a small role in an episode in the first season
of The West Wing in the episode entitled "Ellie."
All three control room techs later portray reporters in the WH press corps on The West
Wing, but only two of those actors actually appear here in the series premier. Timothy Davis-Reed plays Chris, and Ron Austria plays Will. They both have stand-out moments sparring with Press Secretary C.J. Cregg (portrayed by by the brilliant and talented Allison Janney) in the first few seasons of that show.
We've got a few new additions to our list of recycled character names:
Andy – II
Charlie – I
Dana – II
Daniel – II
Jed – I
Leo – I
Lillianfield – I
Matthew – II
McCall – II
Pennybaker – I
Samuel – I
Stackhouse – I
Whitaker – II
William – II
DYNAMIC DUO
Dan & Casey, of course, with their lefty-righty, side-angle desk high-five move, are the quintessential example of this type of relationship. As we will learn in subsequent episodes, they have written together for years, and have an immense reservoir of personal loyalty.
Sports Night also has another twosome, Dana & Natalie. Their interplay in the control room is the obvious example of how hey work effectively together, but a less obvious display is during their interview with Jeremy. Lloyd & Huffman already seem very comfortable together, with an established big sister-little sister relationship. We'll learn more about each of them in a few more episodes, and why they're not on precisely as equal of footing with each other as Dan and Casey are.
LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON
Much like The American President, the pilot of Sports Night features father issues in the inverse: one of our characters dealing with being the father, himself. We will come to learn over the course of the series that the only other parent in the cast (as explicitly stated, anyways) is Isaac, but the first episode features Casey talking to his seven-year-old son, Charlie. At the climax of the story, Casey has returned to form ("I like getting people to like sports") and feels compelled to call up his son, despite the lateness of the hour, and share with him the incredible race that he is watching. One of the best parts of this scene has to be the "WTF" expression/gesture that Krause makes when Casey asks his son "Did you finish your homework?" This glimpse into one of the pro forma aspects of parenting rounds out Casey's character in a very specific way. In only a brief moment, we get a window into his internal monologue; I'm supposed to make sure he's done his homework right? That's what the father's supposed to ask... His intent is clearly sincere–but watching Casey's parenting experience develop is an important aspect of his character.
THE MAGNIFICENT BICKERSONS
The pilot of Sports Night moves fairly quickly, so we are only treated to brief glances at Kim (Kayla Blake), Eliot, Chris, Will, and Dave. Also, not all of the members of the comic relief team are yet in place: Bernard Hocke portrays Dave in this episode, his one and only appearance on the show.
(Dave will of course be played throughout the rest of the show by Jeff Mooring, as the only member of the supporting ensemble to be credited with 44 episodes rather than 45.) In the premier, the only shenanigans that the Sports Night team get up to is having trouble figuring out where Helsinki is (Finland.)
WRITERS BLOC
"I like writing about writers who are struggling with writing," Sorkin says (again on the DVD commentary,) "especially when I'm struggling with writing." If the primary through line in Sports Night is the relationships (romantic and otherwise) between the members of the ensemble, one of the secondary through lines is Dan & Casey's writing process, and their efforts to create content for their live broadcast each night.
In the pilot we get a brief glimpse of their interaction, towards the end, right before Danny's earth- shaking speech calling out Casey's selfishness. Dan is at the desk, refining his script longhand and out loud (and about 15 minutes before airtime, by the way) when Casey helps him miss a bit or a verbal pothole in the road. ("Yesterday/speedway... you don't want the rhyme.") We see that Dan & Casey are good partners with complementary skills. The premier episode covers a lot of territory, so this is all we'll see of their authorial adventures for now.
NETWORK NOTES
Sports Night has multiple layers of authority that the staff have to deal with over the years: there is Continental Sports Channel (CSC) aka "the Network," and Continental Corp(oration) the parent company. While we will see a handful of different capitalist stooges pass through and give counter-productive advice and pointless notes and generally gum up the works with their existential self-importance, in the series premier we meet our primary antagonist. He is the man known only as JJ.
Robert Maihouse plays JJ exquisitely. We are
invited to hate him immediately, and without conscience. He is more concerned with ratings then objectively interesting or valuable content. He is put into conflict with Natalie–who represents the heart & soul of the show–in the rundown meeting, interrupting her passionate description of an inspirational story of... "In these meetings, mine is the voice of the Network." He's
subsequently stomped on (figuratively) by Casey, and while it's obvious that it wasn't super appropriate for him to speak with such hostility and then storm out, it's also hard not to want to stand up and cheer at this arrogant suit getting knocked down a peg. But fear not: this is not the last we'll see of JJ.
SPECIAL POWERS
As of yet, the only romantic subplots revealed explicitly are Casey's divorce, and Natalie's crush on Jeremy. During Jeremy's epic freak-out, though Dana is nonplussed, Natalie's expression betrays a range of emotion: hope, delight, fascination, and the recognition of the kinship between people who share a common passion (in this case, Sports).
Casey's divorce has already happened, and the pilot represents the majority of his growth in
dealing with the aftermath of a marriage that has come to an end. The next step for Casey is
getting badgered by the people he works with (especially Dan and Natalie) to "get back out there" and start dating again.
This leads us to the other relationship that we get the briefest of glimpses of in the pilot: Casey & Dana. When he wrote the pilot, Aaron Sorkin already knew he was going to make them the Sam and Diane of the series, modulating the romantic tension between the two characters throughout the run of the show. One the 10th Anniversary commentary track, it is Tommy Schlamme who makes note of a throwaway line uttered by Isaac to Dana: "is there something going on between the two of you?"
She, naturally, immediately denies that there is, and the stage is set for one of the main threads of the series to come.
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A musical about a GCSE History syllabus? That’s possibly the second worst idea for a musical in the history of the theatre – the first being, according to the programme, the 1969 musical “1776” – a smash hit back then. But if you, we, I, thought that – and, yes, it did cross my mind – then we were entirely wrong: this gem of a musical, rather than an exam-stodgy, fact-laden, grade-driven bore-fest, is funny and fun, engrossing and engaging, authentic and well-observed: there’s never a dull moment.
The young and vibrant cast really pull it off giving us a wholly realistic insight into modern day classroom protocols – the on-off relationships, the petty rivalries, the gradual sea-changes throughout the course that begins with the fairly vicious anti-swat brigade holding sway and then, as the exams loom closer, sees the pro-swat brigade emerging as the inheritors of the academic mantle.
It’s all done against a backdrop of the major steps along the way in the syllabus being presented in song and dance, mildly satirical expressions of the momentous events that forged our political world from 1919 – the Treaty
of Versailles – to 1989 when the Iron Curtain was finally lifted. Each of the pupils takes on a country, swapping their school uniform tie for a bow tie bedecked in the the flag of their nation (as well as their name’s first letter aligning with that of the country they represent) and they set about depicting the crucial moments of the twentieth century with snappy songs and subtle, accomplished dance numbers. Choreographer Jessica Dawes Harrison has a wonderful eye for effective ensemble movement in a confined space as well as a real feel for the spirit of the music. Harrison also directs the show with style and panache.
The clever and witty script makes you feel: if only my history lessons had been like this. Writer Iain Hollingshead is a History teacher himself so he knows his subject. He combines syllabus ITK with classroom nous and recognition and understanding of teenage exam-fodder angst to give us a light-touch but probing analysis of how to survive GCSE whilst balancing relationships – a charmingly authentic narrative. It feels both familiar (school-age memories) and alien (as an adult) at the same time – quite a feat to achieve.
The seven pupils who form the ensemble in the show deserve to be treated as an entity rather than as individuals because this crew gives us peak teamwork. Joseph Aldous as foul-mouthed/lecher- boy Ian/Chris adeptly plays the provocateur whilst Alexandria Anfield as Fran is Miss Vitality – with a great voice. Sylvie Briggs gives a nice line in grumpy bolshevism – as befits her playing of “Russia”, at loggerheads with sweet and cheerful Beth (Eleanor
Shaw) who has some spicy interplay with Andy (Joshua Lewindon) – the love interest. It’s a strong performance from Lewindon who develops Andy’s character convincingly as the show goes on and he gives a good account of himself as “USA” showing some deft touches in the dance numbers. Charlie Burt (Jenny/Esther) gets the humour across well when putting the boys in their place and Daniel Orpwood creates a delicious contrast between the morose needling of Gary in act one and the reformed super-swat Gary of the second. This great cast of young, talented actors is like a breath of fresh air in its positive and sparkling approach to the drama.
They are led by their Teacher – Anya Williams – who sets boundaries for her charges but is very much on their side. She has some of her own demons to deal with as well and Williams effectively strikes the right balance of borderline school-ma’am and insightful freedom-seeker. It’s a perceptive and effective portrayal by Williams and her songs, particularly in the second half, are powerfully delivered.
CThe composer and MD is Timothy Muller. I’m a great advocate of seeing the band on stage in musicals but Muller – presumably with director Harrison’s input – makes the sensible decision to hide them upstage behind muffling blacks so that the performers are not drowned out in the small space: and it’s great to hear a drummer – Omid Ramak – who has a real feel for the music and doesn’t get carried away so the the singers are overwhelmed. It’s quite a feat to pull off a musical successfully in such a compact studio with a low ceiling – difficult to manage for singers – but this company – Third Way Productions – is more than equal to the task.
There is some lovely delicate lighting by Sally McCulloch and all-in-all this is a thoroughly entertaining and intriguing show. Definitely, one to chase those exam blues away.
Review by Peter Yates
The End of History, a new musical by the creative team behind Blair on Broadway (“An unmissable evening in the theatre – Sir Derek Jacobi), opens for a three-week run at the Tristan Bates Theatre, Covent Garden, on 14th November.
The End of History is about a group of teenagers attempting to get to grips with puberty – and the events of the 20th century. From the Treaty of Versailles to the fall of the Berlin Wall, via Munich and mocks, Cuba and crushes, is their future any more certain than the past? And might the ‘end’ of history be the beginning of something else? From 1920s’ French jazz to 1980s’ rock, via swing, bebop, rap and rock n’ roll, the End of History is a musical for the 21st century which will appeal to anyone interested in the 20th century.
CAST
Joseph Aldous
Alexandria Anfield
Sylvie Briggs
Charlie Burt
Joshua Lewindon
Daniel Orpwood
Eleanor Shaw
Anya Williams
CREATIVE
Book and lyrics Iain Hollingshead
Music Timothy Muller
Director Jessica Dawes
Lighting designer Sally McCulloch
Tristan Bates Theatre, 1A Tower St, London WC2H 9NP
14th November – 2nd December 2017
http://ift.tt/23UW86S
http://ift.tt/2hHUOUx London Theatre 1
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Republicans explain why they’re retiring: ‘This administration has taken the fun out of dysfunction’
Retiring from congress, from top left to right: Sen Jeff Flake (R-AZ), Rep. Frank LoBiondo (R-NJ), Lamar Smith (R-TX), Rep. Jeb Hensarling (R-TX), Rep. Dave Trott (R-MI), Rep. Ted Poe (R-TX), Rep. Dave Reicher (R-WA), Rep. John Duncan Jr. (R-TN), John Duncan Jr. (R-TN), Rep. Pat Tiberi (R-OH), Rep. Ileana Ros-Lehtinen (R-FL), Sen. Bob Corker (R-TN). (Photos: Joshua Roberts/Reuters, Mel Evans/AP, Joel Kowsky/NASA, Carolyn Kaster/AP, Tom Williams/CQ Roll Call via Getty Images, Andrew Harnik/AP, Bill Clark/CQ Roll Call via Getty Images, Jeff Malet/Newscom via ZUMA Press, J. Scott Applewhite/AP, John Minchillo/AP, Jeff Malet/Newscom via ZUMA Press, Joshua Roberts/Reuters)
WASHINGTON — Sen. Bob Corker, R-Tenn., was at a groundbreaking event for a new LG Electronics appliance factory in Clarksville last August when he realized it was time to retire.
“It was a beautiful day, the breeze was blowing, I looked out over the crowd, it was a great day for me,” Corker recalled. “I just knew then that I was not supposed to run for a third term.”
But what finally broke him was a fundraiser at the end of September. “That night I just — it was just over. I just couldn’t do it. Just could not,” he said.
He told Yahoo News he went home, fell asleep at 8 p.m. and woke up at 1 a.m. He let his staff know his decision when he came into the Capitol the next day. “This has been the greatest privilege of my life,” Corker said, but he concluded it’s time to go.
Sen. Bob Corker (R-TN) speaks with reporters after announcing his retirement at the conclusion of his term on Capitol Hill in Washington, U.S., September 26, 2017. (Photo: Aaron P. Bernstein/Reuters)
The powerful Republican chairman of the Senate Foreign Relations Committee is one of more than a dozen congressional Republicans who have announced their decision to retire without seeking another office so far this year, a trend that could make it harder for the GOP to hold on to their majorities next year. In the past week alone, three GOP lawmakers have announced their retirements. In contrast, just three Democrats have announced they will retire so far.
And the coast-to-coast wins for Democrats from Washington to Virginia to New Jersey in statewide elections on Tuesday may also spook more Republicans in vulnerable seats, as they ponder jumping ship before a potential wave election.
So far, the number of total departing members is still within historical averages for a cycle, but one source close to House Republicans says another wave of members is waiting to announce their retirements after the New Year. Each GOP retirement in a competitive district helps Democrats in their quest to flip the 24 House seats they need to regain control of at least one part of Washington.
Many of those already heading to the exits have expressed frustration at the current state of play in Washington, where entire Congressional agendas can be scrambled by a single tweet from the new president. Others were turned off by the unexpected ferocity of anger from their constituents over Republicans’ attempts to repeal Obamacare. Still others say they never wanted to make a career out of being in Congress, and are simply ready to move on.
“You’ve got this administration that’s taken the fun out of dysfunction,” Rep. Charlie Dent, R-Pa., told Yahoo News. Dent is a moderate Republican in a competitive district who’s retiring after more than a decade in his seat. “Just the tweeting every day — outlandish statements, inappropriate comments. We spend much of our time just reacting to those sorts of things instead of focusing on the big policy issues of the day.”
Rep. Charlie Dent, R-Pa., speaks on Capitol Hill in Washington. Dent, leader of an influential caucus of GOP moderates in the House, announced on March 23, 2017 that he will not seek re-election to an eighth House term next year. (Photo: J. Scott Applewhite/AP)
“It makes it hard to enact a legislative agenda when you spend all your time, so much of your time, just talking about what the president said or tweeted, it makes it hard,” he added.
But Dent concedes some of his frustration precedes Trump and his deafening Twitter account — which the president has used to accuse a cable news host of getting plastic surgery and to feud with senators of his own party, including Corker, who he said could not get elected as a “dog catcher.”
Bob Corker, who helped President O give us the bad Iran Deal & couldn’t get elected dog catcher in Tennessee, is now fighting Tax Cuts….
— Donald J. Trump (@realDonaldTrump) October 24, 2017
“Just doing the basic fundamental tasks of governing has become excruciatingly difficult, from just keeping the government open to preventing a default on our obligations,” Dent said. “That’s made it very hard.”
Rep. Frank LoBiondo, R-N.J., announced his retirement this week, echoing Dent’s concerns and saying the nation has been “consumed” by political polarization and gridlock. “Today a vocal and obstinate minority within both parties has hijacked good legislation in pursuit of no legislation,” LoBiondo, a 12-term congressman, said in a statement.
The departures of Dent, LoBiondo, Reps. Dave Trott, R-Mich., Ileana Ros-Lehtinen, R-Fla., and Dave Reichert, R-Wash., are creating open races in competitive districts.
Sen. Jeff Flake, R-Ariz., who announced his plans to retire last month in a blistering speech on the Senate floor urging his Republican colleagues not to be “complicit” in propping up Trump, said he’s also been turned off by Congress’ increasing polarization, where members of different parties are less and less likely to share political risk by tackling big legislation — like tax reform — together.
“Now it’s become, you’re either shirts and skins. You’re either for or against,” Flake said. “There’re far fewer crossover votes, that’s pretty empirical. You can see that. So it’s become different that way.”
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Flake, who faced a tough primary if he had stayed, also realized many voters want party purity from their representatives — they did not appreciate him speaking out against President Trump on some issues, like immigration or trade.
“The polling certainly said that people valued whether you’re with the president all the time, and accept basically carte blanche, the agenda,” Flake said. “There are things that I agree on, things that I don’t. But I can’t be a rubber stamp for the president.”
The Arizona senator says he sees trouble for the party in some of the retirements coming out of the House.
Sen. Jeff Flake, R-Ariz., accompanied by his wife Cheryl, leaves the Capitol in Washington on Oct. 24, 2017, after announcing he won’t seek re-election in 2018. (Photo: Andrew Harnik/AP)
“People like Charlie Dent, Pat Tiberi, I think if they saw a path to actually doing big things, getting things done that need to be accomplished like reining in debt and deficit, good tax policy, they’d probably stay,” Flake said. “But they’re frustrated.”
Tiberi, a Ohio Republican, is resigning before the end of January to lead the Ohio Business Roundtable.
Some Republicans are hoping a policy win on tax reform might reenergize the caucus and convince members eyeing the exits to stay. “It’s all going to hinge on tax reform,” said Rep. Chris Collins, R-N.Y., a Trump ally.
Both Flake and Dent faced tough reelection bids they could have lost, but losing them as incumbents still puts the Republican Party at a disadvantage next year.
“The vast majority of incumbents get reelected even in anti-Washington wave elections, and incumbents on the ballot last year almost all ran ahead of Donald Trump,” says Alex Conant, a GOP political consultant who used to work for Sen. Marco Rubio, R-Fla.
Even some Republicans in safe seats are leaving, citing a change in the atmosphere.
“I got a little bit turned off or soured on the first few months of this year because it just seemed to me that there was more hatred and bitterness in politics,” said Rep. John Duncan, R-Tenn., whose district voted for Trump by 35 points last year. Duncan is retiring after serving 30 years in Congress, in part to spend more time with his grandchildren. “There’s always been some bitterness and some anger and so forth, I know, but it just seemed there was much more of it in those first few months.”
Rep. John Duncan Jr. (R-Tenn.) questions FBI Director James Comey as he testified before the House Oversight and Government Reform Committee on Capitol Hill in Washington D.C. on July 7, 2016, days after the Federal Bureau of Investigation recommended not to prosecute former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton for maintaining a private server. (Photo: Jeff Malet/Newscom via ZUMA Press)
“We got more hateful, angry, even obscene phone calls during those first few months all over the health care stuff,” he said. “I don’t know, that was disappointing me.”
Four Texas Republicans —Jeb Hensarling, Lamar Smith, Sam Johnson and Ted Poe — are also retiring from their solidly red seats. Earlier this year, Poe also departed the conservative House Freedom Caucus, frustrated by the lack of legislative progress.
Hensarling said he was retiring because of term limits requiring him to give up the chairmanship of a powerful committee, and because he believes members of Congress should not hang on forever.
“I still kind of believe in the Jeffersonian model of the legislature — you come, you do your service, you go home,” he said.
Corker also says he always envisioned himself as a two-term senator and cites that as his main reason for retiring. But frustration crept into his decision as well. The former mayor and businessman spent time talking to constituents last August and felt discouraged that he was unable to promise them the fiscal reform he originally ran on.
“After every event, I’d get back in the car and I’d go, ‘That wasn’t a very uplifting message, was it?’” Corker recalled. His staff would push him to take a more positive tone.
“A big part of it is, when I ran, I ran on the fiscal issues and I know there’s no chance in the world that we’re going to get serious about the fiscal issues anytime soon,” Corker said. “It’s just the climate’s totally changed.”
Corker, who recently criticized Trump for “debasing” the nation and struggling to tell the truth, did not cite the president as a reason for his retirement.
But the omnipresence of the president may be wearing on some members.
“We used to be able to watch football on Sundays — now the NFL is in a fight with Trump and it’s all politicized,” said Conant, the ex-Rubio consultant. “It’s invaded every part of our life, which I think even for members of Congress is just exhausting.”
_____
Read more from Yahoo News:
Eyewitness to church shooting: ‘I don’t know what we do now’
Online sermons give glimpse into close community of Sutherland Springs church
After the killings, shock and grief in a small Texas town
Air Force admits it failed to report Texas shooter’s conviction for abuse
Photos: Trump’s long trip to Asia
#_author:Liz Goodwin#congress#republicans#_revsp:Yahoo! News#_lmsid:a077000000CFoGyAAL#_uuid:f3219a44-508b-3275-bc20-5a86704e80d8
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CAMILA CABELLO FT. DABABY - MY OH MY
[3.77]
So let's all pull together...
Wayne Weizhen Zhang: I like Camila Cabello. I like DaBaby. I even like songs about daddy issues as much as the next person. But "My Oh My" is an unfortunate misfire I'd like to forget. Camila tries to sound playful and sexy but comes across as mischievous and malicious; DaBaby sounds stale having reached 2017 Quavo levels of oversaturation, and the lyrics are only one step removed from Charlie Puth's "Mother." The result is downright creepy.
[3]
Brad Shoup: While I wait for American top 40 to get happy, I'll settle for creepy. That two-note, haunted-house horn-and-organ motif, Cabello's cackle, the backing vocalists that remind me of Cab Calloway's guys... it's like some ancient delinquent-teen pulp story. Both performers glare at me like I'm one of their parents or something; no one's pretending they're not just singing about sex; it's refreshing, honestly.
[7]
Joshua Minsoo Kim: Camila Cabello could do well with songs like these, the kind suitable for theatre productions. She gets close to making her affected vocalizing feel meaningful, but the cheap signifiers (he wears leather jackets! Her mom doesn't trust him! She swears she's a good girl!) aren't ever fleshed out. Even a little more would suffice! As is, she sounds like a half-decent actor working with a poor script. Her histrionic vocalizing is missed.
[5]
Jacob Sujin Kuppermann: Camila is best when she's being melodramatic (cf. "Find You Again"), and the vaguely haunted vibes work to her favor here. It's deeply underwritten -- the first verse is just a list of outdated bad boy symbolism -- but charming nonetheless. DaBaby helps a lot, though. He's become pop rap's best guest star over the past year, capable both as a rapper and as a cardboard cutout of a rapper. He's in latter form here, playing up his central casting edgy heartthrob appeal without saying all that much. Camila, to her credit, plays the duet partner well too -- her adlibs and harmonies during DaBaby's verse help "My Oh My" work as more than just a generic singer/rapper collab.
[6]
Alfred Soto: The production interference -- call and response vocals, fine, but echo and chants too? -- doesn't irritate me so much as Camila Cabello's rank Britney imitation. Go ahead, wink and tease with a cyborg's flair, 2018's élan is gone.
[3]
Thomas Inskeep: Someone as incapable of sounding sexy on record as Cabello really shouldn't try to do sex songs. I mean, the way she preens on "My Oh My," she sounds like a robot; the lyrics don't help. DaBaby stops by to collect his Hottest Rapper of the Moment paycheck.
[2]
Alex Clifton: It's Havana 2.0: Bad Girl Edition, but Young Thug's feature was way better than DaBaby's verse. It also suffers the same problem as "Havana" did, which is that it gave Camila a great verse and then the rest of the time she's relegated to the chorus, so her role in her own song becomes repetitive. Such a missed opportunity for a bigger, meatier story.
[4]
Katherine St Asaph: The title's every bit as queasy-making as it was when Troye Sivan used it, and it would be fantastic if songwriters just zippity-do-didn't. The track itself sounds like a blatant attempt to remake "Havana," except when it sounds like a blatant attempt to re-animate a DJ Mustard RnBass skeleton from 2015, and except when that goddamn title keeps showing up, an Interrupting Choir lurching in after every line with a doomy, inappropriately heavy thud. The lyric is the same good-girl-gone-bad-but-don't-worry-not-that-bad! stuff of "Dirrty" and "Can't Be Tamed," except even less convincing. (Not that the alternative wouldn't be terrible in its own way, but it's so telling how the lyric is careful to specify that the sex-having, good-time-liking hellspawn she's dating is just a little bit older. You know they sell leather jackets at LL Bean, right?) Everything about "My Oh My" (😑) is garishly, hilariously off-brand, but it'd maybe have a scrappy charm coming from a D-list YouTube tryhard. Why is it instead coming from Camila Cabello and Frank Dukes? Why is this bid for urban radio crossover instead being sent to Hot AC(?!?!?!?)? Why did DaBaby bother making his guest verse so much better than the surroundings?
[2]
Kylo Nocom: Maybe I'm just taking those "hey" chants and running with them, but the otherwise unnecessary last 30 seconds suggests "My Oh My" as potential Mustardwave in a different universe. Good fun regardless, and I'll be very happy if (when?) DaBaby becomes the next go-to feature for pop hits.
[6]
Nortey Dowuona: Nice, slowly descending bass and slithering synths with popping, dribbling drums that bubble like strawberries in oatmeal, and sharp, trigonometry bars from DaBaby... Oh wait, there's Camila. She does OK, but the crowd vocals are iffy and weigh down her hook too much.
[4]
Joshua Lu: If you're going to make a song that's 50% chorus, could you at least make the chorus less dull? The echoey hook feels shoehorned, and by the fourth go around it becomes actively annoying. DaBaby, bless his heart, does his best to inject the song with some momentum, but the fun of his verse is forgotten once the chorus' plodding pace overtakes the song shortly after.
[3]
Leah Isobel: Camila's sweet-and-sour voice lends itself well to good girl posturing, because she always sounds a little bit like a baby. She knows it, too -- this is yet another track where she plays the ingenue laid low by love and/or lust, overwhelmed by the force of her own desire. It's a classic pop idea, but "My Oh My" doesn't really do much to expand on it; she can barely be bothered to describe the guy she's supposedly ready to risk it all for, and DaBaby comes off more as a rascal than a threat. One wonders why her parents don't like him and why Camila herself seems to think it's sexily debasing to go out with him... oh.
[3]
Oliver Maier: I think, in retrospect, I was having a bad day when I gave "Shameless" a [1]. This is a [1]. "My Oh My"'s misjudged attempt at a seductive mood winds up feeling like slapstick, with a bassline that shoots for "Camila and her boyfriend tiptoeing around her parents" and arrives instead at "Scooby and the gang tiptoeing around a haunted mansion". Almost every decision truly baffles me: the back-and-forth on the chorus is lifeless and genuinely unpleasant, Camila SCREAMS the line about being a good girl, offbeat hip-hop "hey"s are stuffed into the final 20 seconds and convey absolutely nothing. DaBaby enters halfway through like a firework set off at a funeral, and predictably sounds like the only person having any fun.
[1]
[Read, comment and vote on The Singles Jukebox]
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The Next Big Thing in best beginner piano
“THE more you dig into a piece of Ives, the greater pleasure you get from it,” the pianist Jeremy Denk said lately, sitting at a piano inside of a rehearsal space in the Juilliard College. “It’s like resolving a puzzle.”
Then he enthusiastically deconstructed Ives’s “Concord” Sonata, untangling and conveying the themes and motifs embedded inside the complicated textures of the interesting rating.
Mr. Denk is about to release a disc, “Jeremy Denk Performs Ives” (Think Denk Media), showcasing two piano sonatas, an esoteric decision of repertory for a debut solo album. But then, there's nothing generic about this adventurous musician. His vivacious intellect is manifest equally in his actively playing and on his blog site, Think Denk, an outlet for astute musical observations and witty musings, irrespective of whether a lament about inedible meatballs or simply a spoof interview with Sarah Palin.
Mr. Denk will demonstrate his a lot more mainstream credentials when he performs Liszt’s Piano Concerto No. one with Charles Dutoit and the Philadelphia Orchestra commencing on Thursday for the Kimmel Center in Philadelphia and on Oct. twelve at Carnegie Hall.
Mr. Denk argues that the Ives sonatas, composed early during the 20th century, are mistakenly categorized as avant-garde is effective rather than “epic Romantic sonatas with Lisztian thematic transformations.” To your informal listener, the tunes that Mr. Denk describes from the CD booklet as “excellent, inventive, tender, edgy, wild, first, witty, haunting” can certainly audio avant-garde. Ives, who produced his residing in the insurance enterprise, incorporated jazz, riffs on Beethoven and American hymns, marches and people music into his daringly experimental piano sonatas, rich in polytonality, thematic layering and rhythmic complexity.
“It’s so splendidly in-your-facial area,” Mr. Denk explained, demonstrating a very maniacal passage inside the “Concord” Sonata. “It’s also fairly surprisingly hideous. There is one thing maddening about his humorousness. Ives is continually thumbing his nose at you in a way.”
But Mr. Denk implies that Ives’s tenderness, which he illuminates wonderfully With this recording, is underappreciated. “Ives is frequently about factors recalled,” he stated, “or Recollections or visions fetched from some tricky spot.”
He played the harmonically misty passages in the next motion with the “Concord,” in which Ives directs that a piece of Wooden be pressed around the upper keys to create a cluster chord. “It doesn’t feel gimmicky in the least to me,” Mr. Denk reported. “It’s all blues in The underside. Ives understood the best way to use Individuals small clichéd bits of Americana in a method that suddenly gets your intestine. You can’t consider how touching it truly is.”
Mr. Denk, 40, has actually been keen about Ives due to the fact his undergraduate times at Oberlin in Ohio, where he carried a double key in piano functionality and chemistry. “My full double diploma experience was to some degree of the ongoing freakout of 1 form of An additional,” he explained.
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He were a “really nerdy high school university student” that has a limited social lifestyle, he claimed. “Ever given that I had been a kid I wished to head to Oberlin and preferred the liberal arts. Clearly I really get intensive enjoyment from drawing connections between items and poems and literature and concepts.”
Mr. Denk described himself to be a “practice maniac,” but his horizons have prolonged much further than the follow space given that Oberlin. Though nibbling an enormous piece of chocolate product pie at an Upper West Aspect diner close to the apartment he has rented considering that around 1999, Mr. Denk referred to his blog site, calling it “an astonishingly very good outlet to release tensions of 1 form or An additional.” He claimed it had drawn new listeners to his concerts. An avid reader of liberal political weblogs, Mr. Denk desires of creating a classical audio version of Wonkette, he said, but that could be tough to do devoid of offending people today. And he attempts to avoid offending folks, he additional, although he did lately post a rant about application notes.
Mr. Denk, who phone calls himself “an actual Francophile,” is soft-spoken but powerful, his dialogue peppered with references to numerous “obsessions”: coffee, Ives, Bach, Proust, Baudelaire and Emerson.
He went off on “a Balzac mania” a couple of years in the past, he claimed.
“That was a hazardous time, and anything in everyday life seemed drawn out of a Balzac novel,” he added. “I missing about a few a long time of my lifestyle to Proust. I’m positive it modified all the things, together with my taking part in.
“Someday my supervisor was like, ‘Dude, You must focus on your career and obtaining your things with each other.’ ” At that point, Mr. Denk claimed, “I was bringing Proust to meetings.” He extra: “I’m unsure I really experienced a job route. I had been just undertaking my Strange factor, which probably gave the impression of a disastrous nonroute to many of the people that ended up observing in excess of me. I don't forget some exasperated meetings with my management, but they were being quite affected individual and devoted, which I’m insanely grateful for.”
Mr. Denk grew up in Las Cruces, N.M., considered one of two brothers, a son of music-loving nonmusician moms and dads. His father, who's got a doctorate in chemistry, has become (at distinct moments) a Roman Catholic monk plus a director of computer science at New Mexico Point out University.
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Mr. Denk remains addicted to the chili peppers of Las Cruces, he explained, seemingly only 50 % joking: “The purple as well as the inexperienced and the whole spirituality of chili peppers. It’s however a huge Portion of my lifetime. Once i go dwelling I visit this true dive and obsess more than their inexperienced meat burrito.”
When not on tour, Mr. Denk spends time along with his boyfriend, Patrick Posey, a saxophonist and also the director of orchestral things to do and arranging at Juilliard, the place Mr. Denk been given his doctorate, finding out with Herbert Stessin. Mr. Stessin recalls acquiring been amazed by “the maturity and depth” of Mr. Denk’s actively playing and remembers him as “an extraordinary student who absorbed items quite rapidly.”
Mr. Denk stated he “was in school permanently” right up until “in some unspecified time in the future I decided to have faith in my own instincts.” Now he teaches double-degree undergraduates on the Bard University Conservatory of Songs. The pianist Allegra Chapman, who examined with him, mentioned he was “worried about a great deal much more than the notes on the site, always citing literary and historic references.”
“Now I try and method songs in a extra holistic perspective,” she added. “He may be very passionate. He used to leap within the place and bounce about and wave his arms. It absolutely was genuinely enjoyment. He tried to get me to look at the new music having a sense of humor.”
This blend of enthusiasm, humor and intellect, so vibrant in both of those Mr. Denk’s participating in and his creating, is what distinguishes him, according to the violinist Joshua Bell. The two are actually common duo companions because 2004, whenever they done at the Spoleto Festival United states.
“You receive the intellectual musicians or those that dress in their heart on their sleeve with no lot of musical imagined,” Mr. Bell stated, “but Jeremy manages to accomplish both of those, and that’s great. We have now a good amount of arguments in rehearsal, that's the fun part too. The very fact we don’t generally see eye to eye keeps points clean and helps make me concern every little thing I do.”
Mr. Bell, whose alternatives of repertory are usually more common than All those of his additional adventurous colleague, claimed he wasn’t normally an Ives fan: “That has a good deal of modern audio I’m a little bit cautious. Despite having Ives, right until I listened to Jeremy. He just provides it alive. He has such an incredible creativity, and very little is completed randomly.”
Ives’s piano sonatas, Mr. Denk reported, “are in a method like animals that don’t wish to be tamed.”
“Every single overall performance needs to be so distinctive,” he extra, a single rationale he was originally hesitant to record them. Like Bach, he said, Ives leaves a good deal to the performer’s imagination.
A marvelous interpretation of your “Goldberg” Versions at Symphony House in 2008 unveiled Mr. Denk’s profound affinity with Bach. Mr. Denk will perform the get the job done and Textbooks one and 2 of Ligeti’s Études at Zankel Corridor on Feb. 16.
To help keep the “Goldberg” Versions contemporary, Mr. Denk is incorporating new fingerings, he claimed, “to reactivate the link amongst my brain and my fingers After i’m participating in it.”
“I think it’s an actual magical area If you have the muscle mass memory,” he extra, “even so the brain is in advance with the fingers.”
Modifying the fingerings is one way to keep away from plan, he claimed. “I get real pleasure outside of producing in a really great fingering. It can be like relearning the piece, and it makes you not just take any Observe for granted.”
The musical philosophy Mr. Denk relates to Bach, Ives as well as other repertory is maybe ideal summed up in that site put up on program notes: “I’ve in no way been a major enthusiast of the ‘Visualize how innovative this piece was when it had been created’ school of inspiration. For my money, it should be groundbreaking now. (And it is actually.) Whichever else the composer may have supposed, they didn’t want you to Assume, ‘Boy, that should are actually interesting back then.’ The most simple compositional intent, absolutely the ur-intent, is that you Engage in it now, you help it become take place now.”
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