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#but it was very funny
essektheylyss · 7 months
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Putting Hunch Curio on my list of potential ace-positive aces just for him going, "There's something relevant to the file stashed in his junk!" while the rest of them are like, "There are SO many other options for things that he could've stuck in his junk, Hunch."
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mylordshesacactus · 1 year
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"So normally a 14 would pass, but you are standing on a rickety set of shelves so I'm going to be a complete asshole and impose disadvantage because I think if you failed it would be really funny."
Brutal DM honesty
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set-phasers-to-whump · 8 months
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Day 18: Ache
whumpee: sonny carisi
fandom: law and order svu
hi! this fic is for @pauletteandrea28 i am so sorry it took like four months but i hope you enjoy it!!! it's set around s17 but nothing specific.
He aches. He’d thought, yesterday, afterwards, that he’d be fine. A little bruised, maybe. Nothing more. But now he’s sitting at his desk, looking into a construction company that’s looking more and more like a front for sex trafficking, and he feels like he can barely breathe. 
He’s angry with himself for letting it happen. He’d been stupid. Chasing a highly dangerous man down a back alley with no backup, not even a call to his team to let them know what he was doing. 
He’d paid for it - a dumpster shoved his way out of nowhere, pinning him to a brick wall, knocking all the air out of his lungs and sitting against him, heavy on his chest. 
Their man had gotten away, obviously. Because of him. By the time he’d freed himself from his rusty metal prison, the guy was nowhere to be seen. And Sonny had had to tell his team that he had lost their perp. 
He hadn’t told them about the dumpster, of course. It’s bad enough to be responsible for a dangerous man still being on the streets. He doesn’t need the extra embarrassment. 
“Carisi! You coming?” 
He looks up from his computer at the sound of Rollins’ voice. She, Fin, and Liv are standing by the elevator, and it’s clear he’s missed something. 
Not that he’s going to let them know. 
“Comin’,” he says, and stands up. His chest twinges, and he forces himself not to grimace, to just breathe (never mind that that hurts, too). He’s gonna have to go to the ER after work tonight. He’s pretty sure his ribs are bruised, if not broken. 
“Are you alright, Carisi?” This is Liv, as they’re getting into the elevator. Maybe he hadn’t done as good a job of hiding his reaction as he’d thought. 
Fin saves him. “Course he’s alright.” He puts up his hands like a boxer, throws a playful fake punch at Sonny’s chest. It barely even connects, but it hurts. 
He hisses in a breath, which hurts too. He bites his lip, stifles a groan, closes his eyes when they start to water. 
“Hey.” Fin’s voice is still playful, but it’s careful too. “What’s wrong with you?”
Sonny opens his eyes, blinks a few times. God, it hurts. He doesn’t want to be here. He doesn’t want them to know. 
He feels his face heat up, the way it does when he’s embarrassed or upset. He’s both now, and he hates it. 
Rollins’ hand is on his arm. “C’mon, look at me. What’s wrong?”
He opens his mouth to say something but the words won’t come. The sharp pain is receding, turning into a more pronounced version of the ache that’s been enveloping his chest since yesterday.
It’s not even that bad. But it still fucking hurts. 
“Are you hurt?” This is Liv. The elevator has stopped, but no one moves. 
Sonny can’t bring himself to lie to her, but he doesn’t want to tell the truth either. He settles for a shrug, for stepping off of the elevator. 
The three others follow, naturally. They don’t let him get out of the front door, shepherding him to a relatively secluded part of the lobby and then pouncing on him. 
“You need to tell us what’s going on, right now.” Rollins is all business, but there’s concern underneath. He doesn’t deserve it. Not for this. 
“I’m fine.” He is, relatively speaking. It’s not a complete lie. It’s not like he’s bleeding. It’s not like he’s concussed. He can still do the job. He just wishes it didn’t hurt so much. 
“You’re not.” Fin says it like fact. 
Sonny hates that he’s right. 
“It’s nothin’, really. No reason to be concerned.”
“Why don’t you let me be the judge of that,” Liv says. “What happened?” The question is gentle, but firm. 
There’s no getting out of it now. 
“Yesterday, when…when I let that guy get away. He shoved a dumpster at me, got me in the chest. Stupid, I know.” He says it quickly, not quite meeting her eyes. 
“Not your fault,” Fin says. “Busted ribs?”
Sonny shrugs, which hurts. “I dunno. Maybe.”
“How bad’s the bruising?” Rollins asks. 
It had been bad enough this morning, a harsh line of purple across his entire chest and scattered splotches beneath that. “It’s not so bad,” he says, because it definitely could be worse. 
“Can I take a look?” Liv asks. He knows she wouldn’t press if he said no, but he isn’t going to deny her request. Anyway, they’re not angry with him. And none of them had laughed when he’d told them what happened. They’re not looking at him weird. They’re just worried. He can deal with that, even if it’s not something he really deserves. 
“Yeah, okay.” He turns his back to the rest of the room, tosses his tie over his shoulder, untucks and lifts up his shirt to reveal the bruising. 
“Jesus,” Rollins says, and Sonny looks down. His view is slightly hampered by his shirt and hands, but - it’s pretty bad. The bruising has darkened and spread since this morning. Seeing it makes the ache in his chest redouble, and he quickly releases his shirt, tucking it back in. 
“You’re going to the ER,” says Liv. 
“I will.”
“Now.”
“I can go after -”
“You’re going now.”
“But -”
Liv shakes her head, cutting him off. “No buts, Carisi. Go now. Take care of yourself.”
She’s firm, but she’s not mad. He doesn’t have a reason to say no, beyond his own stubbornness and sense of pride. 
And so he gives in. “Alright, alright, I’m going.” He raises his hands in mock surrender (which, like every other action, hurts) and goes outside to catch a cab to the nearest emergency room.
thanks for reading! the ending is a bit wonky but that is par for the course by now. hope you liked it!
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fbwzoo · 1 year
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Who needs a dog to eat the couch when you have a cat like this
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omarfor-orchestra · 3 months
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The spectrine post of the other day look at it unfurling frrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr
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Last night at a family dinner the whole Green Day topic came up, and my sister asked how long ago the last US election was. I was able to answer with an immediacy that surprised everyone present.
For context, we're Australian. I don't even have our own election dates memorised. Why would I remember the US election?
I sighed and replied with "How familiar are you with Supernatural..."
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inplateaus · 25 days
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me and my friend talking about a guy we know and 5 minutes later he walks by us
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cringesnail · 9 months
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Baghera (about 4halo): I'd be happy for them but man why can't we just have fun as friends? They'd be Ron and Hermione and I'd be Harry
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one of my friends got stuck in an elevator today
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lavendertownsghost · 2 months
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Kiriko has apparently disguised herself as the location name on the match loading screen. These are both Quickplay btw.
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Still one of the funniest thing that has ever happened was when I was watching ATOTS with my mum over the summer and Fiddleford says "beware the beast with just one eye" her first reaction was:
"Lazy Susan!!"
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smallblueandloud · 9 months
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my phone is in spanish, so google maps gives me directions in spanish ("dirígete al este por [street] hacia [other street]"). this is all well and good.
except yesterday i was driving to lunch and i made several wrong turns in a row (the street signs were confusing) and google maps just like... switched into english?? like instead of saying "gira a la derecha con dirección a [street]" it started saying "turn right onto [street]. turn right onto [street]. turn right onto--"
it wasn't even the english narrator? like it was the same spanish narrator, she was just speaking english, accent and everything. i was sitting there like ma'am. ma'am please i don't need you to switch languages i need you to be MORE SPECIFIC--
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jenovacomplete · 11 months
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was driving home with my mum last night and she starts talking about jesus music and how she wholeheartedly recommends it because it "just makes me feel calmer, yknow? like, I can tell the difference between your music and mine because the mood is totally different... I feel so at peace." and I nodded along before hitting her with "sorry for the sacrilege but that's actually how vocaloid [music] makes me feel" and she went dead silent and did not speak to me for the rest of the trip.
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Good evening i just tried to buy the Pool Boy at the Vampire Mansion shirt offered on mcr's website and my bank for the first time ever was worried that a purchase of mine was someone doing fraud against me. Incredible
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sporkberries · 8 months
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Care to share the story of being cancelled?
It wasn’t like full scale 😭 i just got a callout post and called a bunch of awful things. The short of it is that i thought(and still think)lgbt discourse is stupid, specifically when it comes to policing other peoples identities and labels. But nope only lesbians can be called dykes and everything has to fit into strict boxes 😔
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hircinesring · 9 months
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laughing at one of the first things gore says upon getting to river wood being 'faendal tho... bosmer are a good time 😏'
peregrine, the bosmer:
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