Tumgik
#but it was also the one i began with so maybe i'd make different choices now
Text
Minyard-Josten BIOMY Home
This one is the most canon-compliant to the fic I could make it, going back a bunch of times to the flashback chapter where they first bought it and adding the extra rooms they mentioned wanting. Yes, it's extra big. Mostly because I had to fit two bathrooms with enormous bathtubs and Andreil's ridiculously big bed. It was super fun to build!
Individual posts for each house: [The Villa] [Aaron+Katelyn] [Allison+Renee] [Matt+Dan] [Kevin+Thea] [photoshoot]
Tumblr media Tumblr media
(All images should be with good res to zoom in)
First detail I wanted to point out is the move of their chairs from the back porch to the front. Because the back now goes into the shared ring I felt they would enjoy more the privacy of the woods around the villa :)
Tumblr media Tumblr media
It's mentioned many times how the downstairs rooms are weird and skinny because they closed the floor plan, and anytime you see a funky tile, blame it on the kids (foyer has Nat's water-like one)! Also, no white walls, keeping lighter colors on the down-stairs and darker upstairs.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Living room opens to a huge cat tree because they're spoiled. There's also much more decoration thanks to the art classes and the kids pressuring them to put more pictures out. (you can see them up close on the photoshoot link in the beginning of the post). The pictures include the twins at Nicky's wedding and the pict Dan sent them, and you can see grey and blue bouquets Andreil got each other <3
I can't actually change window glass colors but we know they're all colorful.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Ok, I know, but there's only so much you can do when the characters decide they must have fox-orange cabinets. There was an empty wall so they let Nat and Paige add some trees.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Yes. This is how big an Alaskan bed is. I looked it up. Andrew's corner has a motivacional cat poster his mom-therapist gave him for decor and Neil's has his mom's bones so I guess they match? Shout-out to Andrunior at the window and their super safe knife target.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Paige wanted a pink and gold color scheme, so I went along those lines. She's got her crocheting paraphernalia on the floor, and because I can't put stars on the ceiling there's a cute nightlight.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Why does Nat's room looks purple? because right by that green mirror there's a craft paper lamp, you can kinda see it on the floor plan. Nat's room is very artsy, with a mirror gallery and lot's of paintings on her desired black walls.
Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media Tumblr media
Now pretty much all the other rooms, left to right and top to bottom: the foyer (their blue period, with abstract art and a gothic rug), downstairs bathroom (full, in case Neil breaks a leg), guest room, kid's bathroom (the Jack-and-Jill sink outside), Andreil bathroom, and stairs landing. Neil and Andrew let the kids go wild with the tiles, and I love them for that. Very funky. Also, behold their basically-hotubs.
Tumblr media Tumblr media
And finally, because I loved how they looked: their back porch, with bench and floor painted by the kids, and the wall that faces Matt and Dan's home, where Nat painted a mural. (also, all houses have recycling and regular bins just outside, thanks to Renee)
As always, inspired by the fic Blame it On My Youth, by @yourficstheyglow
108 notes · View notes
aromarten · 2 months
Text
Back when I'd just finished watching Koisenu Futari for the first time and was looking for posts about it, I came across at least a couple people saying they didn't like the ending. Their reasoning was that it didn't really make sense or didn't feel right because the main reason Takahashi and Sakuko began living together in the first place was they did not want to be alone. It ends with Sakuko living by herself in the house, and Takahashi living in a different location.
At the time I was also a bit confused by that. I didn't necessarily dislike the ending, but I did wonder if it was really the best choice. I now realize that it was the perfect choice. The entire message with Sakuko and Takahashi's family is that it's okay for things to change and to work things out as you go. There is no one way any of this is meant to work, it's okay if it doesn't stay the same.
So yes, it began with two people who were feeling lonely and wanted a home they could share with someone who had similar values. Then it ended with two people feeling more validated and at peace with themselves than they ever dreamed they could be, and the home they share became their bond rather than a physical place. They are no less of a family simply because they're not living in the same building anymore. Maybe some day they'll share that house again, maybe they'll go somewhere else, maybe one of them will move even further away. All that matters right now is they are a family that supports each other however they can. If being a family doesn't work out forever, that's okay too. That why it has always been subject to change.
88 notes · View notes
the-cooler-kira · 2 years
Note
I just read your hc! of Jotaro with a affectionate girlfriend, could we have part 4 version and how he deals with jealousy?
4taro dealing with his jealousy over his affectionate wife
MASTERLIST
Tumblr media
Since Egypt, he's been more willing to endure the PDA. Mainly because that trip made him realise how human lives can easily fade out in a flash and it's a reminder that you're there. You're alive. You're with him.
On the other hand, he also gets jealous. A lot more than he used to.
He knows that you show love, both romantically and platonically, through physical affection and he knows it's practically second nature for you to hug your friends and share drinks with them without airing it. He knows. But that won't stop him from getting jealous.
I'd say it partially comes from being insecure. Your friends seem to be so much better than him. Talkative, not emotionally closed off, more likely to reciprocate your platonic PDA.
Sometimes he thinks it's selfish for him to be with you because of how different you are, so it takes a lot of reassurance from you. And not just with cuddles.
If you actually express your feelings verbally it would mean a lot more, because he sees how you'll hug just about anyone.
You hugged Josuke one time because you were proud of him and Jotaro dug his nails into the palm of his hand to restrain himself from doing anything rash.
Okuyasu was not so lucky.
He seems to like milfs (source: Tomoko and Shigechi's mum), so you can imagine how it went down when he met you and little seven-year-old Jolyne... especially when he didn't realise that was in fact Jotaro's family.
"I'm gonna head back to the hotel. See you guys later!" You waved goodbye as your other hand was occupied with your daughter's tiny hand. Spinning on your heel, you walked away and made for the hotel you and your family were staying at, just like you said.
"Not gonna lie, she's hot." Okuyasu blurted out and smirked.
"Okuyasu!" Koichi and Josuke yelled in response.
"What!?"
"That's my niece-in-law," Josuke began. "If that's a thing."
"Huh?" The more confident of the trio tilted his head in pure confusion.
"Oh my God- that's Jotaro's wife!" Josuke exaggerated his hand gestures as he motioned towards the adult that could feel his blood boiling at the very second.
Okuyasu felt his heart drop as soon as he was sent a ice cold, stern glare from the former delinquent. "You may still be a kid, but I won't hesitate to snap your neck like a twig if you continue with those remarks towards her. Do I make myself clear?"
"Y-yes sir!" Okuyasu was immensely regretting all of his life choices.
"That goes for all of you." He glanced at the other two students, who were petrified on their friends behalf.
"We know!"
"You'll only address her as Mrs. Kujo from now on, got it?"
"Yes sir!"
So he may have gotten a little verbally violent... oh well.
He had to remind himself that they are just kids and they'd never do anything weird, neither would you. You know, because you're not a criminal.
Speaking of kids, however, seeing Jolyne really calms him down for various reasons. One is that he was able to have such a cute little girl, and it was only possible with you.
The fact that you were even willing to start a family with him really makes his heart swell, and reminds him that he doesn't need to be jealous.
After a long day of work, coming home to see your little girl snuggled up on your chest settles his mind and he's able to forget his worries for a while.
During part 4, there weren't many other adults that Jotaro was in immediate contact with. There was only two main ones: one being the serial killer with a hand fetish, and the other being the ever-curious and work-driven mangaka.
Now for your friends, well you're more busy these days that you barely see them. Between taking care of your daughter, trying to spend time with Jotaro, and managing any other responsibilities you may have... there just isn't enough time.
This is enough for Jotaro, however. Enough for his envious tendencies to calm down and maybe even indulge more in your PDA.
"I love you, Jotaro." You said as you hung your arms around the back of his neck.
"I love you too, (Y/N)." He put his arms around your waist, bringing you closer to him. "More than anything."
"Since when did you become a softie?" You joked.
"Gimme a break," he sighed as he pressed your foreheads together.
hope it was okay @needy-self-ship-jjba
1K notes · View notes
luxgalador · 8 months
Note
Ma'am, If I may, what led you to coming to terms with your identity? Was there a process that made you think, "maybe I'm not what I was born with?" No matter how your respond, I thank you for the mega cool vibes and consistent dream of memes, cat pics, and explanations of why furry stuff is super cool
I never had a lightbulb moment. And I also am not a "I always knew" type of girl. My unravelling and actualizing has been and continues to be a gradual process of following what feels good and asking myself questions about why it feels good.
In hindsight, I can say "oh yeah that makes a lot more sense" now that I've realized some major things, of course. But I never felt "I'm not what I was born with." It was more a "maybe I could be this? Let's follow this."
One thing I did always know is that I felt different than most other people. I figured that one out pretty early. The way I interacted with the world just didn't seem to align with how many folks did. And my problem is that I never connected with, knew, or was even aware that the way I felt was something that others felt too.
Realistically I didn't really have an original thought about my own identity until I was 19 years old and finding myself in substance abuse rehabilitation. It was only when faced with the real possibility of my own death that my Self™ began to emerge. She started slowly taking control. Because I needed it. Because without me, actually me, driving the car of my life, I was going to fucking die.
My queerness first emerged in a dream when I was 20. I don't remember the dream, but I remember waking up in a panic. I'd grown up aware of queer people, but fed through my well-meaning cishet mom who's only exposure to queerness was through the blood-stained lens of the AIDS crisis. "It's such a hard life" was a phrase I'd heard so often in regards to gay people. It wasn't outwardly hateful, but it felt like an "other" existence that wasn't preferable to "normal" society. My only awareness of trans people was through punchlines and stereotypes. Despite having always wanted to be a girl if given the choice, I didn't understand that there actually was a choice and I could be what I wanted.
I started making videos more earnestly and engaging with the YouTube community. I became pretty successful in that world. I also became a student. Fueled by curiosity and a compulsion to understand the world to keep myself going, I learned. I listened. I asked questions. I was YouTube's It Bi Boy™ but something remained missing.
I hadn't spoken the words yet, but I started growing my hair out. I'd seen a lot of sapphics with short curly bob hairdos that I wanted to emulate. I wanted to look feminine. As I was aging into my mid-20s, I started looking like a man and I hated it. I didn't understand what that meant beyond "I don't want to look like a man." That evolved into, okay well maybe I'm not a man.
The rest of my 20s, that's the crux of my identity. It wasn't an affirmative identity, but rather a reductive one. The only thing I knew is what I wasn't. I wasn't a man. I thought this was enough. Deep in me I wanted to be a woman, but I still didn't realize that I could be. That I already was.
I did more makeup daily before HRT. I got dolled up every single day to go to work. My heart would soar if someone "mistook" me for a woman. That's how I wanted to be perceived. But I was stuck in "not a man" identity for a while.
I read an article in 2019 about HRT regimens that were low-dose. I'd never considered hormones before this. But I knew immediately this is what I wanted. It felt like a level that I was "allowed" to have. I still felt like I wasn't allowed to be a woman. That I wasn't trans enough to embrace it. I made an appointment within a week.
Pandemic happened, in many ways my life froze. But I kept changing. After 6 months on the low-dose I said "fuck it" and went to a full dose. I grew tits. I felt so much better. Relieved. Like I was course correcting. It was good, but still not good enough.
I had to move to Florida due to financial issues in late 2021. I had roommates again including my sister. It was the first time I was around people regularly after so much had changed in my body. It was a few months later that I realized that I was basically living my life as a woman just without affirming that reality to myself. So 2.5 years into HRT I finally did it. I owned that. I she/they'd for like 2 weeks then realized I didn't want they. I didn't want neutrality. I wanted to be and was her. In this moment I also connected the dots that my sexuality was not bi, despite years in that community and many, many videos made by me on the subject. Bisexuality, in hindsight, was an identity that allowed me access to loving women queerly before I knew I was a woman myself.
So here I am, at 30, about 10 years after that first dream. I'm a woman. I'm a lesbian. I'm living with the love of my life in Chicago. And in many ways, it feels like I'm just getting started. Thanks for reading.
33 notes · View notes
elsliterarylibrary · 1 month
Text
Scotland x reader x England Idk maybe the reader was expecting to come over for tea only to for the brothers to fight over the reader?
Okay. I feel ya. I might break this down into multiple parts with different endings. I dunno. Let's see if ya like this one shot first.
I'm sorry for the LONG wait. I was just recently put back on an anti-psychotic because I was showing signs of ✨paranoid schizophrenia✨and I'm also struggling to find a job so I can start college. I was barely conscious of my existence for a while there. I'm stressed, depressed, and losing my damn mind.
So let's try to numb the pain with yandere country personifications! Lmfao
(Y/N)'s POV
I drove over to Arthur's house. Arthur invited me over for a cuppa and considering Alfred decided to drop by my house with Matthias and Gilbert, I much rather be at Arthur's. Those three are so annoying.
When I got there, Alistair was there too. He was wearing a loose, white dress shirt that had the top two buttons unfastened and dark blue dress pants. His fiery red hair was messy as usual and he had a lit cigarette hanging loosely from his mouth, smoke slightly obscuring his face. He seemed a little agitated, but he always seemed that way so I brushed it off. (That man needs to take some anger management classes, I swear.)
"Hey, where's Arthur?" I asked, looking around Arthur's big ass house.
"In the sitting room." Alistair huffed, glaring in the direction of the room containing his little brother.
"Alright, thank you." With that, I make my way towards the sitting room, throwing a smile towards the older Kirkland man. Once I walked in the sitting room, I spotted a head of blond hair. He was sat on an arm chair, muttering angrily as he fussed with a tea kettle. I smirked and snuck up behind Arthur. I grabbed his shoulders and shook him. Arthur yelped in shock and whirled around with his fists raised.
"Alistair, I swear-" He began, before realizing that it was only me. He put his fists down, smoothed out his vest, and the smiled at me. His emerald green eyes shone and he moved to envelop me in a hug.
"(Y/n)! I'm so glad you made it!" He pulled away from the hug, his hands remaining on my waist as he looked deeply into my eyes. This felt way too intimate for friends. This is uncomfortable. Can he let me go now?
"Um..." I began. "I'm kinda thirsty. Is the tea ready?"
That seemed to snap him out of whatever reverie he was in the middle of. He let me go and led me over to the couch.
"Ah, yes. Tea is ready. I hope chamomile is good enough."
I giggled. "Yeah, chamomile is good. Did you make any snacks?"
He smiled at me, but soon his expression went sour as he looked at something by the doorway.
"If he did, our house would have burned down." A gruff voice sounded from behind me.
I looked over to see Alistair standing against the doorway, his arms crossed and a lit cigarette between his fingers. Arthur huffed.
"My cooking is not that bad." Arthur argued, face turning red from embarrassment and anger.
"I'd beg to differ. You'd kill the poor lass with your cooking." Alistair retorted.
"Okay, please calm down. I came over here to escape Alfred and his friends' annoying antics, not to hear you two bicker." I take a deep breath. "Let's just enjoy some tea."
Arthur sent one last glare at Alistair before fixing me a cup of tea, handing it over to me with a quiet "here, love". I grab the tea cup, taking a sip while I leaned back and crossed my legs. I hummed in satisfaction as the flavor of the tea spread across my tongue. I brought the cup away from my lips, watching as Alistair made his way to the couch opposite Arthur and me. His forest green eyes were trained on me, eyeing me up and down. His staring made me feel subconscious of my choice of clothing. I was wearing a mint green sweater and a pair of skinny jeans. It felt like he was undressing me with his eyes.
"So, Arthur. What books have you read recently?" I asked, turning to Arthur. Maybe starting a conversation will get Alistair to stop staring at me. Or to help ignore his eyes burning into my body.
"Oh, I just finished reading All the Light We Cannot See. It was pretty good. I suggest you give it a try."
"Ooh, what's it about? Maybe I'll add it to my To Be Read list."
"Well, its about-" He was cut off by a groan from the oldest Kirkland brother. Our gazes fell towards Alistair.
"God, why are you both so boring? Can't you talk about something more exciting than books?"
"Well, I-" I began. "I'm sorry that you find the things I like boring."
The Scottish man's eyes flicked to me as they widened, as if he didn't mean to offend me.
"Now, look what you've done! You hurt her feelings!" Arthur growled. "Just because you aren't intelligent enough to enjoy a book doesn't mean you can just insult those of us who do enjoy them."
Alistair huffed. "At least I have more manly hobbies. What type of man does embroidery?"
"Excuse me?" Arthur yelled. "What the hell does that mean?"
"Hey, wait a minute-" I whispered, panicking because I realized that a fight was almost inevitable at this point. I was cut off by Alistair.
"It means that you're not a man. At least not one worthy of having (Y/n)."
"Wait, what-"
"How dare you! I am perfectly worthy of her! As if she would ever want to be with a brute like you!" Arthur shouted, standing up. His cup of tea fell to the ground, spilling it onto his khaki dress pants.
"Hey, guys. Please-"
"Oh, please. All women want to be with men like me." Alistair scoffed, slowly raising himself up from the couch. "She probably gets wet every time she sees me."
"That's not-" I stood up, trying my best to protest against these claims.
"Are you serious? Quit sexualizing her! I highly doubt that she is that much of a tasteless degenerate."
"Quit sexualizing her? I hear you nearly every night rubbing one out while moaning her name. You sexualize her so much more than I do."
Excuse me? What? That escalated quickly.
"I- But I- Well-" Arthur stammered, cheeks blazing red from embarrassment. "Well I never!"
"Please just stop!" I yelled. "I came over here to relax, not listen to you argue! Clearly, that isn't going to happen, so I'm just going to go home!"
I began to make my way towards the doorway, Arthur and Alistair protesting all the way. I was just beyond the doorway of the sitting room when I felt a strong grip on my hand yank me back into the sitting room.
"(Y/n), wait! Please don't go!" Arthur pleaded, his eyes wide and frantic.
"Man, I just wanted to have some tea and relax, not listen to you two talk about what you think is going on with my vagina at any given time or how you masturbate to the thought of me."
"I know! I know and I'm sorry." Arthur's grip on my wrist tightens as tears began to form in his eyes. "Please don't go! We'll behave! I promise!"
"I don't know-" I began, looking into Arthur's eyes. "I don't know how to feel about everything I just learned about how you two view me."
The grip on my wrist tightens and Arthur tenses up.
"I'm sorry. I'm so sorry." He whispered. "Please don't hate me."
"I-" I take a deep breath and pry my hand away from him. "I'm sorry. I gotta go."
With that I ran away, not looking back. Hopefully, these two will get themselves together and quit acting like horny teenaged boys.
So this was less Yandere than I wanted. But I feel bad for nearly 2 years of nothing, so I'm going to post this. Maybe in the future I will redo this one.
14 notes · View notes
rallamajoop · 11 months
Text
Tumblr media Tumblr media
Mother Miranda and Snow White's Evil Queen
I've long had RE8's Miranda mentally filed under "basically just a knockoff of the Evil Queen from Disney's Snow White," but given the dearth of google hits comparing the two, maybe it does fall to me to point out the obvious.
See it's not just their imperious attitudes, or their dedication to black robes and medieval-style hair-coverings. It's not just their mutual habits of shapeshifting into an elderly hag when they want to sneak around incognito either.
It's not just the fact that one goes after Snow White while the other has it in for Ethan and Rosemary Winters. It's not even just the fact that they're both such horrible step/adoptive mothers to all their children.
Oh no, we're just getting started on everything these two fairy-tale witches have in common.
Tumblr media
There's the thing with hearts for one, even if they differ in the fine details. Where the Evil Queen sends out a hunter to rip out Snow White's heart and bring it back in a nice little box (see top pic), Miranda prefers to cut out the middle man and rip out poor Ethan Winters' heart herself (surprisingly, this does not produce more definitive results).
Similarly, Miranda likes to wear a gold mask, whereas the Evil Queen just tends to see a mask in her mirror.
Tumblr media
Fashion-wise, they both favour black, white and gold, and they're both big on feathers and halos ‒ but Miranda works more of those elements directly into her outfit, whereas the Evil Queen just hangs out on a throne capped with a big circle of gold peacock feathers.
Tumblr media
Mind you, even Miranda was supposed to have a big throne of her own in some early concept art ‒ admittedly it's more game-of-thrones than Disney.
Tumblr media
As well-to-do witches, they've both got their sinister underground laboratories to do their dirty work in.
Tumblr media
Then there's the crow theme. Miranda can transform into a flock of crows, whereas the Evil Queen just has the one raven pal she hangs out with in her lab.
Tumblr media
Need I go on?
Now, if you'd ask me to pick a Disney villain as the basis for a new Resident Evil Big Bad, Snow White is admittedly not the film I'd have gone for. The Evil Queen is so heavily overshadowed by later Disney villains in both style and substance that I spent a number of years assuming she was just Maleficent in a different hat. Heck, the original film doesn't even give her a proper name ‒ wikis are still stuck calling her 'The Evil Queen' to this day.
And it's hard to say Miranda makes much impression herself, overshadowed as she is in popularity by every one of her children and the guy running the merchandise stand out the front, and largely coming across as just a watered-down Dimitrescu. She gets the job done, but she's hardly the one who's going to stay with you.
All that said, if you're going for the original, ur-example of the fairy-tale villainess ‒ the evil stepmother who is also a witch ‒ then Snow White is very much the tale you're looking for. Cinderella or Sleeping Beauty will give you one of the two, but Snow White hits both with one swing. And say what you like about Disney, they've founded an empire on redefining the modern image of fairy tales ‒ 1937's Snow White being where it all began.
Whether the creators of Resident Evil Village were consciously referencing referencing Disney's version of Snow White, or whether they were just drawing from generic fairy tale archtypes isn't terribly important. Separating Disney's influence out of the broader popular imagery associated with fairy tales these days may be impossible anyway.
But if it was deliberate, well, it's pretty hard to fault their choice of sources.
31 notes · View notes
cavehags · 1 year
Note
hey chell! as the only person who’s soccer show opinions I actually trust, how do you want it to end? like do you have an ideal season 3 & finale (at least like big plot points)?
ahh thank you for this question! i don't think i want anything that's too out there or unrealistic, and i think i'm following the bread crumbs the show is dropping toward the ending.
i'd like to see ted really buckle down on doing his job, the whole thing - respecting the game enough to seriously invest in developing a strategy and helping his players thrive personally and interpersonally. parallel to that, we should see keeley starting her journey to be the ted at her own place of work, teaching her conveniently robotic colleagues to care about each other. both ted and keeley can come to understand themselves and their needs a little better by letting their work come first for a little while. i have every faith that after some time spent concentrating on what they can each bring to the lives of their colleagues, they'll figure out what they need themselves and where they need to be. for ted, that means deciding to pack up shop at the end of the season and return home to kansas to parent his child. by contrast, keeley doesn't need to do all that much soul-searching, because she doesn't have flaws she needs to work on or a mistake she needs to make right. but in my dream season 3, she does battle with something - an insecurity or a hard family relationship - and emerge stronger on the other side of it.
another person who needs some career triumphs is sam! this season i want to see sam come into his own as a leader. this story with zava is a great opportunity to see sam take a stand against petty diva bullshit and shut that shit down. i feel like he's the heart of richmond or at least of the players, so if someone's behaving badly, i think sam has the moral character to stand up against it. or if not that, then truthfully i'm here for any sam storyline because i love seeing sam feel feelings and say words. especially so if he takes his shirt off sometimes.
for rebecca - i loved that this week's episode gave us a glimpse at rebecca's past and how her relationship with rupert began. she has every right to want to burn his world down, and i'd love to see her make some really brutal choices that properly hurt him this season. keeley said that she needs to let rupert be rupert, like a "live and let live" thing, but i don't completely agree with that - i want to let rebecca get some punches in first before she withdraws from this fight. but by the end of the season, i am looking forward to rebecca continuing her life out of rupert's shadow, unburdened by the desire to compete with him. i also hope hannah waddingham gets to sing again.
nate has a lot of soul-searching to do and his story arc is the one i'm most excited to be surprised by. with him, just like rebecca, i think it's going to get worse before it gets better. but i want to see him face the fact that he's an unhappy person and choose to change that by bringing love and support into his life. not romantic love. but he can start to make his apologies to people he's hurt like ted and keeley and maybe build some friendships with new characters who can make him feel appreciated.
roy has a LOT of demons to battle this season. by breaking up with keeley when there was literally no narrative reason for it, roy showed that he still doesn't believe he deserves love. keeley made the difference between his suicidal husk of a life in season one and the passion he's felt while coaching. so this season needs to feature roy gradually starting to hear and accept that he's a good man. that arc is going to wreck me, because i find his self-hatred devastating and uncomfortably relatable. so he can spend time absorbing love from phoebe and jamie and maybe his new buddies trent and will, and then with luck, he'll come to value himself. and then he needs to get back to keeley. i also wouldn't say no if he wants to open his relationship to include jamie along the way.
my final wishes are: let sam take his shirt off, let roy and jamie fuck nasty, let bex see what rupert is doing to her and break away from him, let michelle be happy with this new guy in her life who might actually be what she's needed, let trent spend a lot of time on screen saying funny things, let sassy get laid, and delete colin from the edit -- it's not too late!
19 notes · View notes
just-a-carrot · 1 year
Note
Carrot! I’m in existential identity crisis, and have no idea what i want to study in future, considering that i’m supposed to apply for university in a few month. I was thinking a lot about choosing programming study program, and i wanted to ask you, how did you get started coding novels? Can you tell me some advices about where to start, video lessons, how to understand code, some programs to use? Any of that would be really helpful! Thank you!!
Oh, gosh! I'm so sorry that you're going through such a tough and confusing time. I was similar when I was in school and ended up changing majors multiple times and even going back to get a second BA (and also even now the work I do has nothing to do with what I got my degrees in... lol). It feels so impossible trying to figuring out what you want to do in life (and it can change so often...) 💦
Mmmm. I didn't have much coding knowledge at all before I started working on OW. (I also don't think it requires much knowledge just to start doing simple stuff in it—and I still don't think I have much knowledge even now LOL). I remember it felt really overwhelming and confusing at first, so I kinda took it slow and did a lot of my initial attempts in steps?? And from there slowly started to get more familiar with it and learn more and more. Let me try to explain:
The first thing I did before coding anything was write the script. I had about half of Arc 1 finished before I even thought about making it into a game, so I just had it written in my writing software.
I decided to see how it would look in a very simple VN format using Ren'Py. To learn how to start using Ren'Py, I played through the tutorial game included in Ren'Py that teaches you a lot of the basic functions. I remember this was really overwhelming because it teaches you quite a lot of things quite quickly—and when you don't know anything at all, it's so much to take in. So I tried to start simply using ONLY THE VERY BASIC STUFF:
My initial prototype only included text, backgrounds, music, and sound effects. So I only focused on the code required for those things, so basically, the code for displaying an image (defining it using image then showing it using show), for showing text on the screen (I just defined a single "actor" with basic formatting and used that for all the text), and for playing music and sound effects (the play music and play sound commands).
By only focusing on these bits, I was able to simplify it enough that I could understand it. And so then I began copy-pasting my script in line by line while creating basic BGs using royalty free photos, finding royalty free sound effects, and adding the music (I already had a collection of royalty free music I'd found for the game).
As I worked on it, I got more familiar with it and began to understand how different bits of it worked, learning new things such as pauses, screen shakes, etc., that I could also add in. Whenever there was something I didn't know how to do (for instance, zooming/cropping an image, creating variables for keeping track of player choices, etc., I would just look up on Google and could usually find something in the LemmaSoft forums).
Once this initial prototype was made and I was loving how it looked, I decided to go all-in on the game and actually start creating art for it! This was when I started drawing the character sprites, CGs, etc. Because I already was familiar with the basic coding stuff, it wasn't hard for me to then apply what I knew to making the sprites and CGs appear on screen (since it's all just using the image and show commands, and maybe moving them around using stuff like ease).
Only once I had made a lot of progress on art and more writing and scripting did I even think about tackling things like the GUI, since that requires some more advanced coding stuff. I remember the video tutorial I used to start figuring out how to do the title screen for instance was this one: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_zq3V28qp2w&ab_channel=ZeilLearnings
That took me pretty much to the release of Arc 1! Then as I kept working on subsequent arcs, I kept getting even more familiar with things, and would also try out new things I could do to create various scene effects.
Then when Spooktober came around for some reason I decided to try a ton of different things and really go wild. I definitely learned the most during that month LOL However, it was all built on skills I'd slooooooowly been building basically throughout the course of the whole year. Even doing research itself is a skill tbh. Like being able to figure out kind of in your head what you need to do something to locate what it is you don't know, then knowing how to research that thing and parse out the solution so it will work in your version of the code, etc. And I was only comfortable handling that for more advanced stuff because I'd done it so many times before just figuring out more simple stuff.
Tbh tho literally none of what I have in any of my games is very advanced, it's all just a ton of things moving on the screen in different ways and at different times
Hmmm I have no idea if that long rambly thing I just wrote is very helpful LOL Those were all the resources I used tho: the tutorial game in Ren'Py, that video I shared for the title screen, tons and tons of Google searches and the LemmaSoft forums.
But I really feel like the biggest thing that helped and made things manageable for me was breaking it down. Like, I don't know if I would have managed it if I'd tried to start right away with art and sprites and do everything all at once. I needed to start with that very simple prototype with only a few necessary commands so I could get familiar with it first, and only after that, start working on art and add it in. Breaking it down into small simple pieces really helped my brain so much! (And also was more motivating, as I could create the prototype quite quickly and already get really excited by how it looked even with just BGs and music, which inspired and motivated me to keep working. Whereas if I'd had to wait and take all the energy to draw all the art first, too, I might have gotten overwhelmed and demotivated.)
Those are all the things I PERSONALLY did to learn how to code my game. However, since I began, even more resources have become available that will probably help even more and be a lot more accessible. The biggest one I can think of is Vimi's YouTube channel, which has a ton of very basic tutorials for getting started in Ren'Py and just a ton of stuff about making and coding VNs in general. I feel like this could be super helpful for you!! https://www.youtube.com/@vimi
There are also other programs for creating visual novels, for instance, Naninovel allows you to create VNs in Unity, though since Unity uses C#, you will need to learn some of that I think?? Ren'Py uses Python, though for basic scripting it's not really actual Python and more just very basic Ren'Py script or something. You will need Python though to get into some of the more advanced stuff you can do with the GUI and menus and such though (or if you want to do anything much more advanced like add mini games).
I hope this helps you at least a bit! But if you have any questions about anything specific, don't hesitate to ask!!!
18 notes · View notes
hskinhome · 5 months
Note
ooo. could i ask for a charm reading for my meulin makara (kurlozways) tl? more specifically, maybe a general idea for how things went down for us. for context purposes:
i remember a damara zahhak, mituna ampora, kankri maryam, porrim megido, and horuss peixes. i was very selective with who i talked to. i think i was a prince of heart. i remember everyone being relatively close prior to our session but things kind of broke down after. we still all talked obviously but it was never really the same.
Yet another ask that I misread, hence why this ask took so long to get out. So you get two readings. Also. Same kin, different swap. Rad.
Reading 1 (the misread) - I used this spread by @kin-rot, linked to me by Mod Nepeta's google doc of spreads! It's less about how the timeline went as a whole and more about how your personal growth went, but I hope it helps nevertheless! Remember, if it feels wrong then it probably is!
I didn't pull the last charm, since you didn't ask about how it effects this life, but if you want that charm as well then please feel free to come back!
Your past life as a whole - A black umbrella - You were very capable, able to weather the storms. You were safe and protected by your own abilities.
Theme of major challenges - A camera - You (and your friends, from the feel of it) had a hard time focusing on the here and now, instead focusing on the future and how to make sure you remembered everything you wanted to remember.
How you handled them, and their effects on you - An open book, upside down as if a spot is being saved - You got distracted easily, trying to remember every single little thing like your life depended on it. Of course, this led to a harder time remembering anything clearly and in detail at all.
Lessons learned during this life - A winged clock - Time passes incredibly quickly, and though it's important to remember, it is more important to experience it.
Reading two (the correct read) - Whoops. This time I used this spread, also linked by Nepeta. Hopefully this one answers your question better.
An emotion/feeling/state of mind that dominated you - A top hat - Here, the top hat is to represent high society and prestige, a representation that works well for a Makara's high standing in troll society!
An action that you took because of it - Piano - This one came out upside down, which I think is relevant. Instead of it representing high society again, I'm interpreting it to mean the loss of high society. It feels like an action you took willingly and abruptly to me, though when I ran it past Mod Nepeta they thought it would be less willing. Your mileage may vary.
A key event in your timeline - A flower with a smile in it - This charm is meant to urge the reciever to stop and smell the flowers. Coupled with the next charm, I think the key event it's referencing is you meeting at least some of your fellow players and making friends with them. They helped you feel calm, like you would still be cared for even if you weren't the 'best' version of you.
Your role in the key event - A crossroad - You felt like you had to make a choice - either you could stay with the people who made you feel relaxed and happy, or you could go back to the people who pushed you to always be better than the day before, never letting you rest.
Your standing with others - A sunrise - The others looked to you when it came time to make a new start. They knew you had experience starting over, and that they could trust you to guide them through their new start as well.
Others' standing with you - A stoplight - You kinda viewed the others as being noncommittal - they weren't always able to move past what they had lost when the game began, but you were because the only things you lost were a past you had already left.
Something you've forgotten - An unlocked padlock - I'd read this as you forgetting how you let people in, how you connected with those around you and how they connected with you.
A mistake you made - An 'I love you' - You loved the wrong people, or you didn't tell the right ones. Something went wrong with your love and who you told.
Something you did right - A cocktail - Honestly I'd just read this as you always knowing exactly what to do to relax and have fun with your life!
A lesson learned - A checked box - You learned to always be the one to complete any job you started, even if you delegated the middle part of the job to someone else.
2 notes · View notes
dialux · 1 year
Note
Flings myself into the inbox to ask about your Queens of Numenor fic, which. Okay there's so much I /could/ inquire about, there's so much crunch to that story, but- can I get commentary/director's cut on how you decided who each Queen should be?
(Ohtacare is 100% my favorite, but they're all just. So, so real.)
-crownlessliestheking
The fic in question!
Ask for a director's cut on my fics!
Oh yes, the Most Tragedique TM story I've ever written for Silm fandom lol. I started writing the story for Nienna in the Innumerable Stars fic exchange, and I need to give a lot of inspiration to that request summary, which set me off on a tangent re: dreams and magic. But as I started writing- initially the fic was going to be solely about Elros' wife, and maybe talk a little about the effect that being mortal and marrying someone who was effectively only mortal because he chose to be that way would have on a person- I also started grappling with what I've termed as the Tolkien Foresight Issue.
The TFI is very much a me problem, because I don't personally believe in predestination; the idea that elven mothers can genuinely hold their newborn in their arms and give them a name that describes something of their future genuinely frightens me as, like, a concept. I'd been wrestling with that idea for quite some time in my own head, but as I began writing this story I realized that this was a) the best medium possible for that tension, when unnamed/forgotten women are the primary povs (and of course, the unwanted and intrusive parts of the canonical narrative) and b) I was going to write about it one way or another, so might as well embrace it. Which led me to wanting to describe different reactions to the TFI- and for that, I needed more POVs than just Elros' wife.
Enter 24 other queens.
When I thought about individual perspectives, I started out by sketching out the queens whose characters I firmly knew; Eressecuina, for instance, but also Rilma, Ancalime, Tinolime, Vanimelde, Elenniel, and Inzilbeth. Then I started elaborating around those fixed points. For instance: Rilma has an antagonistic relationship with Almarian, who in turn makes an effort to be closer to Erendis, who in turn values freedom more than safety (i.e. the opposite of Almarian's choices), which influences Ancalime's perspective.
Elenniel's storyline was inspired by me wanting to explore what could have inspired a sharp break from the Quenya to Adunaic between Ardamin and Adunakhor: I just think that having it be a product of this one woman's (unnamed, forgotten, erased) actions made a lot of sense. Elenniel herself is one of my favorites in the story, tbqh; she's so secure in her love for her husband (and, in turn, his love for her) that she can bear to be more rebellious than many of the other queens. But she's also seeing the degeneration of Numenor from its heights- which began with Herucalmo, who usurps the throne and lets his son/grandson grow up in Umbar instead of Numenor-proper (thereby letting more rebellious anti-Valar sentiment foster)- and she loves Numenor enough to want more than what it has. But I also wanted someone to have gone through what she went through before while making the opposite choice, which is why Ohtacare exists at all lol.
The rest of the story just flowed from those fixed queens I mention above- apart from that, I knew I wanted a warrior queen, and a scholarly queen, and that the majority of the legacies of the queens would be tapestries; I also wanted at least one queen from Umbar and another from Harad. I think it's fairly obvious which ones were central to the storyline- Meluviel, for instance, doesn't play that much of a role, and neither does Gimileth or Handasse- but they were valuable to portray other nuances re: the TFI.
And, really, even more than the character itself, I defined the queens by their reaction to the TFI (which, in-story, is the nightmare of the destruction of Numenor). I a) thought it was INCREDIBLY sexy to think of Numenor's drowning to be inevitable, bc what does that say about the Valar, that they could see the ending but still chose to put Numenor in sight of Valinor? Abt the ppl that follow the Valar even after the destruction of the entire island? Abt the idea that even if something is to die one day, there is something beautiful in it now? and b) to picture the queens fighting against it, accepting it, furthering it, ignoring it, etc etc. 25 POVs of different women having wildly different reactions. I have an excel sheet somewhere where I described some of that lmao. That and the dates. Of people's birth dates, death dates, ruling dates, age when ascending to the crown........ yeah. Idk if I've ever worked so much to make a fic canon compliant tbqh!
7 notes · View notes
Note
Hey there!! Hope you're doing well with all the craziness this week with tickets and stuff!! Personal wise and 5sos related things wise hahahaha I'm here to ask you a question if you don't mind...🙃 My friend and I are considering getting soundcheck for one of the concerts but the thing is, we're not entirely sure what that entails 🤷‍♀️ We would love to know a little bit about it to make sure it's gonna be worth it spending that money... Have an amaaaaaziinig day!!
Sure, I'd love to help! I did soundcheck for the first (and second lol) time last year during Take My Hand and I'd say it made for a very fun and special but exhausting day.
Things will likely vary slightly this time since there are now two different soundcheck packages, with separate activities made available to the top tier. (All the details are available here but essentially, the Friends of Friends package includes the soundcheck experience plus access to a private lounge with photo ops, drinks and merch shopping.) But the traditional VIP experience has you checking in with VIP Nation in the early afternoon (you'll receive an email a few days before explaining what time to be there by and where you'll check in for your line number and laminate. At my shows, check-in officially began at 2pm, with soundcheck scheduled for 4:30 and to my memory, it began closer to 5) and waiting in line while everyone gets sorted. (They had a merch stand near the line for us to shop while we waited but I'm unclear on if that's just for the FoF package now.)
When it's time, you're led into the venue (according to the number you were assigned when you checked in) and after a bit more waiting, the band comes out and plays a song (occasionally it's something from the setlist, but typically it's not. Afterwards, they sit on the stage and a short Q&A session begins. (This appears to only be available to the FoF package now but previously, in the VIP Nation check-in email, there would be a Google form for fans to submit a question for the band. If your question is chosen, you're pulled aside during the check-in process.) This part is fun vibes (I think they expect silly questions and are game for it but they clearly get excited when someone asks something of actual substance) and after they answer a handful of questions, maybe 5-10 depending on how long Ashton talks the answers are, they get up and play another song. That concludes soundcheck and then typically you're allowed to stay inside the venue and take advantage of the low lines for merch, restrooms and concessions before the doors open to the rest of the public.
So the actual soundcheck is probably only a 30-45 minute experience but you do get 2 extra performances (and there's often fun, unexpected choices! At my first show, they did Valentine and Long Way Home and for my second, they did Moving Along and Voodoo Doll lmaooo) and to basically chill out with them during the Q&A. A lot of people also appreciate the exclusivity of the experience, as phones and cameras are prohibited (there were unfortunately multiple instances of leaked content last tour but for the most part, what truly happens during each soundcheck is a mystery to all but those in attendance lol). Also if you have GA for your show, being let into the venue before the majority of attendees is absolutely a bonus (my shows were GA, which I hate so honestly the early entry was the main reason I upgraded). The only real downside to it tbh is that it makes for an extremely long day, especially if you're GA (and depending on where your venue is located, you may be waiting for soundcheck in heat/direct sun). Your frame of reference could be different of course, but I am traditionally not a GA girlie nor a line camping girlie, so I was dying by the end of the night after being on my feet basically non-stop for 9-10 hours. (Oh, the gloriously ravenous Taco Bell feast that took place when we got back to our hotel 🤌🏻) But otherwise, it's a lot of fun and if you can afford it, I think it's worth giving a shot at least once, to have the experience!
4 notes · View notes
hdjamie · 1 year
Text
𝐇𝐃𝐄𝐕𝐀𝐋𝐔𝐀𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍 ! 𝙲𝙷𝙾𝙾𝚂𝙴
𝐉𝐀𝐍 𝟒𝐓𝐇 // ~ 𝟷𝟸𝟹𝟶 Jamie makes his position choice … 𝐌𝐄𝐍𝐓𝐈𝐎𝐍𝐄𝐃: his teammates
Jamie knew instantly what position he wanted. Main vocal, that had always been what he'd been gunning for, ever since he began training. He's a good dancer, charismatic and fun during performances, but when it comes down to it, Jamie's voice is really what he has going for him. He'd always been told it had character, a huskiness that others voices didn't have, one that didn't impede his ability to reach high, clear notes, but that made his voice stick in the listeners head. That's why he knew he had to stand up for his decision—his voice could make their eval performance really stand out, and he wanted his whole group to do well, not just him on his own. Sure, Jamie could catch people's eye no matter where he was; he'd mastered facial expressions before anything else, and knew how to have fun on stage, so he could've backed down and done something else, but truthfully... he just wanted to sing, wanted his voice noticed.
He realises how full of himself he sounds when he goes over how to voice his decision to the group—he can't very well say his voice will do them good. So, when they all sit in a circle and begin to discuss who will take what part, Jamie is among the first to speak up. "I want to be main vocal." He says, confidence behind his words. "I know my voice is among the strongest here, but I think I suit the song. Not just vocally, but visually too. It needs a boyish energy, and that's what I've got." Then, he realises he's got to broach the subject of the other position he wanted, this one he's more shy about. "And... since I suit the song really well, I was thinking that... I'd also like to be the center." He flushes as he admits it, knowing it'll sound like he wants to be the damn main character of the eval or something, but he really does believe he suits this song.
This concept had been one Jamie hadn't even let himself hope for over the years he'd been training. If he got to debut with a group that had a concept like this song did, he'd be living the dream. He'd never seen himself, really, in a group with a sexy, or cool-guy concept, maybe something fantasy-themed could suit him, but he'd really always had his eye on peppy, bubbly, upbeat type of concepts. Things that got you on your feet, things that were widely palatable. Sexy was something he struggled with, to be honest, despite spending hours perfecting his facial expressions in the mirror. He'd just never in his life felt sexy, really. Which was why this concept felt just right.
"I know I can do it, and that I can make you guys proud, if you trust me to take these positions." He promised the group, looking around at each of them. He already knew Mason would back him up, knew he could count on his best friend to support him and his decisions and desires, just as he would for Mason. He was close with almost every member of the group, but he had a feeling that Taegyeom might butt heads with him over this—they'd always been somewhat rivals when it came to vocal things, always trying to be better than each other, and this time, he knew, would be no different. But, this was how things had to be done; Jamie needed to fight for these positions, plead his case and convince them he was the best man for the part.
3 notes · View notes
karelysse · 2 years
Note
listened to ‘ruin’ one more time after this revelation and oh boy… (warning: long post ahead)
“I will bring you ruin in everything I do / It's never my intention, but it happens all the same / It starts with love and comfort, becomes a strength of will / But all that strength made rubble of the towers we built” — is this not… is this not an encapsulation of their rivalry. ‘we’re better because of each other’ but also you’re still direct competitors fighting for the same medals. 2014, when yuzuru wins in sochi. 2015, when javi wins at worlds.
“Cause brick by brick, you built us and I'd fill in the cracks / Nothing quite prepares you for when they don't come back / I wish I'd done things different, I wish that I'd been brave / I wish I'd known these stones were something I could save” — the 2016 season. yuzuru’s injury. boston (that last line… yeah it’s boston). javi winning again. the distance and the no-longer-training-together. fast forward to 2019 ‘i wish i [could compete] with javi too’.
“Our mortar was your laughter / And you hurled curses at the land / We didn't talk, we made universes / Out of bitten lips and broken hands” — we both speak english as a second language, but you still manage to make me laugh. when words fail, just hug me close until our hearts fall into synch.
“You said, "I love you less than when it all began" / And I said fewer 'cause I make jokes to show how broken I really am / And in the wreck of all we burnt, stands our piano like a wound / I play our song to see if it's in tune (I'll sing silence)” — deviating from theme for a second. isn’t this the epigraph for their potential FaOI reunion?
(skipped the next line because i think you covered it well!)
“"We can rest," you say, "in the pieces of what's left / Or what what we've found" / I wish I'd done things different, oh, I wish I'd made it right / But we'll burn a hundred theatres / If it means we get the wallpaper right” — 2017 worlds. ‘i told you last year, right? you work hard, you can get it’. yuzuru putting his medal on javi, because the passing of the world crown is never easy.
“I'll, brick by brick, rebuild us / Out of how's and why's, not when's / Nothing quite prepared me for when that piano sang again / Tomorrow I'll do things different / Tomorrow I'll be brave / (You'll make me brave)” — 2018 pyeongchang. javi redeeming himself after sochi. yuzuru winning his second Olympic gold when he had only started retraining quads two weeks prior. yuzuru breaking character during seimei when he realized he had done it. ‘i think i owe what i won to him’, ‘i’m glad we could share a podium at the olympics’. the tears and the hugs and the joy and the smash-cut to ‘i can’t do it without you’. maybe this is it. maybe this is the best shot the two of you will ever get at a happy ending.
…this is so long and completely ridiculous. but i hope it was fun to read! as always thank you for your input, it’s great to hear your thoughts 💞
Song title : Ruin by The Amazing Devil 🎼
ahhhhhh my fave anon strikes again!!! 💞 this was a RIDE and I loved every second of it. contender for possibly the angstiest yzvr anthem ever? adore this.
The part that hit me the most at my first listen (apart from the first line ugH) was really the mortar/laughter part you summed up so well. I really have an ESL fascination. that whole verse just!!! hits so hard for them!!!! the whole song!!!!!!! Thank you so much!!!
I was a bit sad at the « tomorrow I’ll be brave » part at first listen because I picture both Javi & Yuzu as very brave people, as high leveled as they are and with all the achievements behind them, but imagining the line as pre-olympics 2018 really hits the spot. Guess even them needed courage at some point (and still do!!! I believe it’s a conscious choice you have to keep making & making, not a permanent character trait).
Well oh my! Thank you again so much for this lovely message 💞 sharing so everyone can benefit and cry about it like I am ✌️
5 notes · View notes
gurugirl · 4 months
Note
Okay. The final part of The Trapper was so heart-wrenching but I loved the way you ended it! I couldn't imagine what it would take for her to forgive him and then when he got beaten it really did put things into perspective.
Reading all of the moments of his recovery and how Y/n felt during it all and then working through her emotions and her choices felt like I was making the decisions. I'm so glad that in the end, she realized she couldn't be without him.
And his cute note to her? Oh my god, that was adorable. He worked really hard to write it and struggled but it was so sweet and I think honestly that's what pushed her over the edge. And she couldn't imagine that he would be leaving the next day! She had to rush to make her choice but it was always going to be him 💞
I think I would have liked some resolution with Kitty to find out if she knew what she was doing.
Also the song willow! Yes that is so the song for that series. I listened to it as I began reading and it just hit different. Then I played it again when I read the part where she was going to the lake and he saw her... just so perfect.
Would you do any check ins with them? Maybe we could see something with them together on one of his travels and they have a baby? Or maybe with them getting married? I just loved that series. So special. Thank you for writing that for us guru.
OH THANK YOU!!! So glad you enjoyed it 🥹 I was always going to end it with her choosing to be with him finally. Glad you liked the note bit too. I didn't know if it was cheesy or not but when I wrote it, it seemed like something he'd work hard to do to show her how special she is to him (since he really can't read or write).
And as for Kitty, I did have something in there but it seemed silly to have once I re-read it all. Felt forced and unnecessary. Over the top sort of and I already had so much going on in the final part so I just took it out.
And that song is perfect for the series, right! I thought so too.
I'd love to do check-ins once in a while. I think it could be cute. A little visit in the future when he travels to different towns. And a baby with them! aww 🥹
Thank you so much for this. Really made me feel better about the final part. Appreciate the feedback!
xoxo
1 note · View note
alexisvs · 5 months
Text
the quilt roller, the jewelry game, & the hotel at the end of life
i went to bed reading History of Burning. maybe this was a bad choice, because family is not a pleasant topic.
i dreamt i was in my not-actual-grandma's house, the one on my first stepdad's side. i was older--my current age--but wearing the form of my youth. i began the dream in someone else's false recollection of that time of my life, which was occurring in the moments before their death. i don't know whose precisely, but they were observing and accompanying me.
i say it was false because it diverged from what i knew to be reality. two of the clearest examples: Babar, the little elephant king, was instead a "pygmy Pygmalion." pygmy kind of fits, but he wasn't a sculptor. also, in this false recollection, i had spent my childhood as part of a children's association that was centered around completing activities to earn or win jewelry. i didn't do anything like this, and the closest real-life example is the scouts, which i also wasn't part of.
in the part of the dream that was this recollection, i was wandering that home, discovering these things, and in a way, i was living this childhood. i knew it wasn't real and that i left childhood behind long ago, but i couldn't remember what the truth was.
the central feature of this house--and its primary difference from reality--was the quilt roller. it was a room-sized wooden machine that apparently was used to neatly roll blankets. it consisted of a six foot wide coiled plane of wood slats, secured on each lateral end by impossibly flexible thick wooden spirals. the whole machine was suspended from the ceiling. it would spin and tighten when turned.
i returned to it over and over. it didn't make sense to me, wasn't demonstrated, and i wasn't allowed to touch it, because it was dangerous. the effort it would take just to secure a blanket in the machine such that it could yield a rolled blanket seemed pointless. no one stores rolled blankets without also folding them at some point--this machine allegedly yielded blankets in a six-foot-wide roll. even if they did, who needs to roll blankets like this so often that a machine like this would save any time? the entire living room was taken up by this thing.
in this stage of the dream, i was fervently caught up in trying to remember what was real, examining the things i found in the hopes that it would reveal something. but eventually it became my actual reality, despite my having no recollection of it whatsoever, and i was trying desperately to figure out what it all meant before this observer was gone and my time there was over.
eventually we came to a place i'd never been. it was a hotel for people at the end-of-the-end of their lives. not a nursing home--that's for the end of a physical life. this was for the end of perceptual life, a place where your perceiving self goes when the-life-that-flashes-before-your-eyes is drawing to a close.
not long after arrival, my observer was gone, and i stayed behind.
i don't want to talk about this stupid fucking dream anymore. i woke up in intense distress. it had snowed and it was going to snow.
0 notes
mysticdragon3md3 · 7 months
Text
Yesterday, I was looking up different PSA posters for a vague fanart idea.
A while ago, I drew a trio of El fanart that I was planning to attach to the meme "gaslight, gatekeep, girlboss", because apparently, I'm having way too much fun making fun of her and there's no other way I want to draw her anymore. My blog reflects a pretty odd progression of going from indifference about El, to annoyance with her fanbase, to frustration with her choices as a character, to finally accepting that I probably dislike her now. (Which is a shame, because I wanted to get into her ship with Khalid.)
My blog also reflects an odd progression from a dedication to only posting about the things I love and positive fandom sentiments, to becoming comfortable with expressing things I dislike (which I attribute to YouTube movie reviewers being far too entertaining when they talk about bad movies), to this point now where I've allowed myself to dislike characters and post about my dislike of certain characters. It's so odd, reveling in my own solo fan negativity. But it is fun to just dump on fictional things sometimes; I can admit that now.
So since I can't draw El without feeling it's worth it without also drawing Claude and Dima, I was thinking of making it into a set of "gaslight gatekeep girlboss", "manipulate mansplain malewife", and "live laugh love". Just to complete the meme. But I never got around to finishing it.
But lately, I've been watching the Netflix Nimona 2023 movie, while noticing all the worldbuilding in the background's propaganda posters. And now I'm wondering if I could turn that half-finished El fanart into a propaganda poster or if I should start some new sketches. It might be interesting to make propaganda posters for each of the 3 major countries in Fodlan. But I think I'd just feel gross if I drew a poster, glorifying El and the Adrestian Empire's colonizing war. But if it was in the style of a propaganda poster whose perspective which history has deemed demonstrably wrong, then the irony of the text trying to glorify El, would probably save it for me. I don't know why, but even though I prefer not to draw El, and I have avoided drawing her for the most part, every once in a while I just wish I could draw something that makes fun of her. I guess self-expression through drawing can't be helped.
But again, I'd feel better about wasting time/effort drawing El, if I draw Claude and Dima too, for a full set of Lords---and also so I could spend more time drawing House Leaders that I actually like. lol So I began to wonder what "propaganda posters" would be appropriate for Claude and Dima? Recently I was reminded that one of the most common jokes in the Claude fanbase is that, despite all his self-proclaimed devious scheming, all he wants to do is end racism and foster multicultural acceptance. So Claude's posters should definitely be PSAs about multicultural diversity, acceptance, and anti-racism. That's the type of "propaganda" that would represent Claude. lol So I spent yesterday reading this article about "A Brief History of PSA Posters", but I really want to look at more examples. The funny thing is that a lot of anti-racism PSAs that I remember, are usually not posters, but videos. Like the reminders of what to do when you see hate crimes/violence against the Asian community, because of all that pandemic blame unjustly shifted onto Asians.
youtube
A lot of these anti-racism or pro-multiculturalism PSAs have a very cartoony, stylized art style. So the contrast between my growing ideas about Adrestia propaganda posters being very serious, jingoistic, with realistic art styles and severe tones, versus Leicester propaganda posters being mostly cartoony PSAs...It's silly. And maybe that means I really should do the project. lol
But what would Faerghus "propaganda posters" be about? And should they represent Dimitri's personal ideals or the ideals reflected by Faerghus's actions as a whole nation? Because those western Faerghus nobles were so concerned over losing power, that they orchestrated the Tragedy of Duscur, just because King Lambert wanted to make some progressive changes and NOT conquer Duscur. I think that as a Dimitri fan myself, I'd want a poster that reflects Dimitri's good, personal ideals.
But why aren't I affording that to El fans in this project? Because this project idea is for me, and I want to make fun of her. LOL
I should also read this: "Public Service Advertising and Propaganda" by Project Muse
0 notes