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drangues · 3 years

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I hope you’re right, but the future remains to be seen. On the upside, I’m finally gonna be able to see my therapist again! Which is good because I can finally report back on how my meds are doing. Also nooo I’m sorry your teacher is a Fool, that sucks. They clearly don’t know Good Kitty Doodles when they see them. Anyways, YEAH their dynamic is one of my favorites, they’re like. The definition of the vitriolic best buds trope, I feel like? (Nyanon, 1/7)

And it is a bit annoying when people reduce them to Kunikida hating Dazai and Dazai mocking Kunikida, because like you said, that’s part of it!!! But they also trust each other a lot, Dazai genuinely believes that Kunikida is a good man and I do think he tries to base a lot of his morals off of Kunikida’s (and Oda and Atsushi and Fukuzawa, but this isn’t about them), and I think that, while he finds Dazai’s antics annoying, Kunikida very clearly trusts and cares about him? (Nyanon, 2/7)

Sure he thinks he could take things more seriously, but he trusts in his ability to get the job done when it needs to happen, and he even plays into his antics a few times! That fic does sound like them though, Dazai being Extra and Kunikida being exasperated because “you’re dying and this isn’t a manga (unless we break the fourth wall)??? Please focus on staying alive so you can actually confess to the brat.” I love the two of them so much. (Nyanon, 3/7)

Moving on a bit, I seem to have bad luck with friends??? If they don’t randomly stop talking to me if they’re online friends (not for mean reasons, contact just tapers off), then I’ve has like. Physically abusive friends and friends who lied to me and took advantage of how gullible I was as a kid? I’d hope I get a friend like that but at this rate I’ve accepted my lot as a hermit. I am an introvert though, so I guess it’s fair. Back to BSD, though! (Nyanon, 4/7)

I BET OLD ATSUSHI GETS IT FROM FUKUZAWA, he’s been taught his Ways. And Atsushi is probably the one giving people hugs half the time, he’s touch starved and very nice to hold and be held by, again, like a cat- Speaking of, at least it’s a nice rent free thought and not something Super Weird like the theme song of a kids show (yes I hate having songs stuck in my head). But yeah, poor thing needs hugs, preferably from the rest of the ADA when he’s feeling inadequate. (Nyanon, 5/7)

I want them to tell him how much he means to them and shower him with love and affection. And listen, Atsushi is a Literal catboy but he isn’t anywhere near as chaotic as Dazai is, he isn’t a sadist, he isn’t a sugar addict, he isn’t,, The Tanizaki Family (TM), as far as Kunikida is concerned it’s a dream come true. The fact that he actually does try his best and take on extra work when Kunikida is overwhelmed is just a bonus. (Nyanon, 6/7)

Also Atsushi is an indulgent big brother who says fuck gender norms, he adores Kyouka to bits and if she wants him to model some fashion that she likes then he isn’t gonna say no. Anyways, moving on to another Scenario Concept: I’m reading a chat fic right now, so how do you think that’d go with BSD? I know they aren’t action stories but they’re always great if you find a good one,,, I feel like there’d be pictures of Atsushi as a tiger are being thrown around at lightspeed. (Nyanon, 7/7)

WOOO HELL YEAH IM GLAD YOU CAN GET BACK TO YOUR THERAPIST!! make sure to take not of EVERYTHING all right?? dont reduce to “eh it’s fine” S M H

and yes!!! i also hate how theyre reduced like that, though we also got the anime adaption to blame here because they really love to Crank That Part Of The Dynamic up, so the fans are not TOO much to blame. Plus as you said, they trust each other a lot clearly. NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO MAN FUCK ALL YOUR FRIENDS YOUVE HAD SO FAR S M H, i hope the abusive ones Rot In Hell they did not deserve to do that to you i swear. i understand if this makes you be more closed off but please dont let that hinder you from experiencing the true beauty of people that actually care!!! relationships/friendships take time to build so just have patience im sure youll get someone soon!! i believe in you!!

man you have songs stuck in your head?? mood, i feel that, it’s pretty hard for me to have Something stuck in my head for too long because of how many different thoughts my brain spits out constantly, it’s like several tabs open with many of them playing different sounds it’s all a M E S S but i like it uwu

atsushi is the Least weird in the ADA and kunikida appreciates him, im sure kunikida is the type to say something caring in a threatening voice and then play it off as something Logical like “make sure to not overwork yourself- good health is important for good work ethics”

i’m sure atsushi would feel weird being shoved feminine stuff in his face at first, but because he cant say and loves kyouka to bits he would sit through it and start actually liking it because really, why Not? Whats Wrong Exactly? nothing. thats the point.

I WANT A CHATFIC OF THE ADA LIKE FROM WHEN ATSUSHI FIRST GETS HIS PHONE AND ALL THE CHATFICS THERE MAN (though except for all those intense ass arcs man i like fics where i ignore the canon arcs that happened because F U C K that personally, bsd has VERY emotionally draining arcs imo and mainly the reason i stuck around is cause of the characters OSGDHJSK)

#anon #ask #ask anon #anon ask #nyanon #nyatsushi anon #bsd

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voidselfshipp · 4 years

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The Bar II

Pt 2

-So this time you got laid!-daemon says awfully proud of himself- you son of a bitch actually got laid, I knew she was the one-

- where did you meet her anyway?,she just stumbled on you a thought" oh this might be the one for that old bastard" -bastardo says, with a glint of annoyance on his voice, as he leaves the machetes on their stand.

-Yeah pretty much?, we had a small talk sort of became Friends and would you look at that I got you a girlfriend!-

-She is not my girlfriend...-

-YET!-

-Oh oh! Can I officiate the wedding, can I?, can iiii?- gizmo asks jumping from side to side all exited.

-you two are annoying- the mexican Man says, when his phone rings, oh would you look at that?its jerico- you two...shut. up. -

-Awww His wife called him!- the girl,gizmo, says again.

-Bet he gon get all mushy and shit, how was your day sugarplum,love of my life , sweetcheeks!- the kid and daemon start to cackle as bastardo rolls his eyes and answers his phone- Hola-

-Hola!-jerico's voice is energetic- hows everything there?-

-eh, daemons being an ass...- he says, looking at how daemon is wheezing on the floor, hugging his stomach, trying to regain his breath after so much laughter.

-Put me on speaker Will you- oh yes...things got suddenly better.

-Why of course...- there is a mischevious grin on his face as he puts the phone on speaker.

-Hey daemon!-she says.

-Hey G, hows everything?-daemon asks, standing up.

-Fine fine, now hear me out bitch, I catch you teasing my boy over here and ill go down there and ill beat your ass-

-Please g, you could never hurt a fly-

-Because a fly is a poor innocent creature, you how ever..., just like the time we met--

-Ooookay gotta go! Yeah nice hearing from you goodbye- daemon speeds away.

That gains a chuckle from bastardo as he leans on the wall.

-How did you two met then,hmm?-

-Oh i Beated his ass on boxing last time he went to the gym...-

He snorts, of course he would leave those details out.

-So you beat his ass and then he sets us up? I might have to marry you then-

Jerico keeps silent, her cheeks redden but chuckles a little bit in order to not preocupy him .

-Well, you dont hear me complaining- she says- hey, later wanna go down to the bar again, maybe to my place?-

-Sure, same hour as last time?-

-Yeah sure, oh I gotta go, im leaving for work, seems like one of the animators for one of the proyects called in sick...just in my day off..fuck..-

-Hey take it easy okay?, Stretch you wrist and all that- bastardo says in a softer tone.

-Look at you acting like a caring husband, we might have to marry after all, anyway,have a nice day, and hit me up if daemon gets all douch-y with you-

They exchange goodbye and both go around their day.

Finally night comes,jerico is already at the bar, her leg bounces anxiously,,finally Gerardo comes trough that door and she cant help her need to hug him.

In what moment did she fall I love?

-Look who finally got around and came!-

-Oh please, I know you miss me- the man nudges her with his elbow.

-Oh shut up- her face softly rests on one of her hands, she seems very tired- sorry...its Just a long long day at work-Bastardo takes her free hand, caressing it with his thumb frowning with concer, jerico blushes and looks away.

-Hey its fine- he says- we can just go to your place if youre tired...booze Will only make you feel worst about youself-

-You always make the best plans-

-But of course-

Once at jericos place both lay down on the sofá, drinking coffe snuggled agains eachother, one of Gerardos arm wrapped aroun her waist .

She sighs and leaves her mug on the floor, resting her head on the Mans shoulder.

Once he is finished he does the same and falls into a comfortable silence.

But something plagues his mind, a worry.

-We shouldnt be doing this, im a criminal, you might get into trouble if we do this-

Jerico chuckles and looks at him, those big green eyes that he fell in love with.

-as you said 'trouble knows no age ' , señorito-

-You smug little shit- he hugs her tightly and laugh,wrestlig with her as she tries to break free.

-if you plan to spend the night here, come over to my bed, youll sleep unconfortable as hell there- she breaks free and walks towards the bathroom- im going to brush my teeth, my room is the one down that corridor.

{...}

Jerico lays down and closes her eyes, an arm Gently wraps around her side,dragging her towards bastardos chest.

-I couldnt stay away,y'know?-

She sighs and gives into the warm feeling.

-So we are doing this?-

Bastardo nodds.

-absolutely-

They share a quick kiss.

And as the Gentle moonrays filter trough the blinds , they fall asleep.

Its their moment now,, the outside Word doesnt exists.

{...}

Morning arrives, the warm Rays of sun heat up the place nicely.

The smell of food...and mariachi music... wakes her up, she sits on her bed confused.

There is only one motherfucker who could pull some shit like that.

-Why...does he have mariachi music?,why..I I...- she stands up, and she walks to the kitchen , turning off the speakers.

-Hey, you cut my jam!- bastardo says.

-Yeah morning to you too- she mumbles half asleep.

Gallardo hugs her from behind, his chin rests on her head.

-Coffee is ready, no need to do more..-

Jerico leans on his chest and smiles.

-You wake me up with mariachi music again, and youll get the couch, understood?-

-Aye aye captain-

Gallardo goes back to cooking, jeri grabs one of the spare blankets and kind of sets up the couch nicely to cuddle.

Both sit there as they eat breakfast.

-Look at us, eating breakfast and watching the news like an old,married, couple- jerico says.

-Not married, yet..-he says-but I wasnt kidding when I said I'd marry you, any woman that can kick my and others ass is good in my book-

Jerico knew he wasnt kidding.

-We might need to leave the marriage further down the line though-

Bastardo nodds.

-Just tell me when youre ready, ill buy you the nicest wedding ring to ever exist-

-As if you could afford it-

-Oh shut up...If I had to kill a Man to get it, he would be 6 feet under in no time-

-Look at you, killing a Man for me, what a charmer-

They chuckle and kiss.

Its going to be one hell of a morning.

{...}

Bastardo watches the phone ring for the fourth time,then sending the call into voicemail.

-you are not going to answer?- jerico asks, her head laying on gallardo's lap, as one of his hands caress her scalp.

-Nah, right now its me and you-

-awww- she chuckles and sits on his lap, hugging him tightly as he laughs and hugs back-but really, just call whoever is calling you,okay?,then we can do whatever we please-

{...}

-Should we order food?, I dont feel like cooking- jerico said, as she checks her fridge-eh... no , not cooking today-

-Then ill Cook, dont worry- bastardo kisses her temple as he checks the fridge-you have worked enough go and rest-

The woman nodds and walks outside the kitchen , saying quite loudly.

- your soon to be my husband if you Keep this up!-

-Thats the plan amor!-

Bastardo says followed by a chuckle, he might as well go and buy the ring.

~{...}~

#selfship #self ship #self shipping #selfshipp #romantic f/o #s/i #be bastardo #f/o community #f/o #imagine your f/o #f/o stuff #my s/is #f/o x s/i #s/i community #s/i x canon #s/i imagine

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darktammy · 5 years

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New roses in my Womb (part 3)

Tags @instantbouquetdestinysblog @thelonelunatic @cosmic--daydream @sausagefest1996 @sassybrose @mrsambroserollinsacklesmgk @nonnirenea @purpleskiesandcherrypies @beenlovingromansincedayoneish @drxcleaner @deanseths @thatwrestlingfan91 @theneverendingthirst @ambrollinsbabe

You laid in bed with Kenny’s t-shirt on covering your whole body, you look up at the ceiling thinking about what Dean said to you. You read the note over and over again thinking this is crazy he don’t mean it right? You sat up in bed still thinking about it still. It’s been two days since that night, two days since he did what he did touching your thigh making you touch your thigh. Making you bite your lower lips every time you think about it. Dean it seems he's been in your mind a lot lately. The way he grins at you eyes full of whatever it is his thinking of making you feel numb. You start to move your hand down to your core as you close your eyes thinking of him, no you can’t your with Kenny, but Dean his in your mind again.

You see him sitting down on the chair from the dinner table. You laying on his dinner table with your legs open you start to rub yourself making yourself moan every time you circle your bud thinking of Dean sitting there watching you playing with yourself. “Yeah Y/N that’s it keep rubbing yourself.” You thought Dean would say to you. You took your other hand sticking two fingers inside of you making you moan even louder than before. “Oh god Dean is this good enough for your cock? I want it so bad please give it to me baby please!!” You keep saying as you imagine him right in front of you. Dean leaning in as you keep pleasing yourself. “I will I need you to come for me.” You added another finger inside of you pumping yourself as you rub your bud picturing Dean smiling at you pleasing yourself. “Your a little slut there Y/N, teasing me like that baby girl. I’m going to enjoy eating your pussy out so much your going to be screaming my name.” You started to feel a knot your stomach, you know that feeling your getting close. “Yes Dean I’m your little slut, I’m a dirty girl for you, yes I’m so close baby yes!” You imagine Dean getting up from the chair pulling for you to sit up as he grab a hand full of your hair kissing you hard then, his other hand grabbing and massaging your breast. It was enough for you to finally come undone, yelling out his name over and over again. You laid back down on your bed opening your eyes looking back up at the ceiling once more. “Oh my god what did I just do?” You look at the time it read 2:30 am. “I better get some sleep.” You said.

You waited for Kenny to come home with a smile on your face. You hugged him as you both headed back to your apartment. Once inside you and Kenny start to kisses each other making out with one another until you both had full blow on sex in the living space. After some time Kenny got up pulling his shorts on he look back to see you sleeping on the sofa. He headed to the room grabbing his shirt already he sees that you have already worn it. “Oh Y/N babe.” He laugh as he look over at the night stand seeing a note on there. He pick it up opening it as he read what it said. Kenny’s face went from excited to piss off fast. “Dean!” was all he could say as he rip the note in half. “I’m going to kill Dean once I see his ass.” Kenny turn around leaving the bedroom looking at you with small smile on his face. “Don’t worry Y/N I’ll keep you safe from now on.” He said blowing a kiss at you.

Once Monday came around Kenny had his eyes set on Dean, he didn’t care whoever or whatever gets in his way, he was going to get his hands on him. The night started off pretty good the show ran fine, then it was time for Kenny to come out to talk about what happened last week on Raw. This time instead of talking about bobby he was going to talk about Dean, but how so can he do it. Kenny knows that you were watching so he knew he had to make it count. “So looks like I have a bone to pick with a few dogs if you all get what I’m saying.” The crowded cheer Kenny on. “You see people I think I need to set someone in that little three men group a massage. One that I think needs to understand, he needs to know that he can’t have what I have. He needs to know that the lunatic can’t have what belongs to Omega.” A loud siren noise was made then the heavy guitar riff after then Dean walks out wearing a leather jacket with his skinny jeans holding a mic with that same smug look on his face.

Dean look at Kenny in the ring as he held the mic close to his mouth. “Did I hear you correctly Kenny? You said what belong to you? Like what your title? Oh wait I forgot you don’t have one, so what the hell are you talking about?” Making the crowd laugh at what Dean said. Kenny who at this point was ready to lose his mind. “Oh think you know that little note you left me last week that said ‘I’ll make sure…’ you’ll make sure of what Dean?” Dean’s face want from confuse to surprise because now he knew what Kenny was talking about. The note Dean left you last week with the stuff animal in the bag.

Dean was mad now that Kenny found out about it. “What I mean to say was I’ll make sure I kick your ass.” Dean said throwing the mic down then walking down the ramp. Making Kenny toss his mic out the ring ready for Dean to enter which he did, as they both started to throw blows at one another. Dean giving Kenny a clean uppercut to Kenny’s face making him laugh as Dean ran giving Kenny a closeline from hell making him lay flat on his back. Dean fell on his knees as he whisper to Kenny. “Y/N she’s a sweetheart the way she feels is exciting I know at night she thinks about me more than she does about you.” Kenny punch Dean hard in the face knowing that it was going to leave him a black eye. Kenny got up grabbing Dean ready to knee him in his face until Roman and Seth came for the save. Making Kenny run out of the ring so piss off that he started to trash talk about the whole thing.

Once backstage Undertaker, Hunter, and Shane where all in the back wondering what the hell was that out there. “Ok Maybe just maybe I got a little carried away from that.” Roman look at Kenny. “Boy you try to kill my bro!” Seth tried to keep Roman back. “Hey everyone calm down right now!” Taker said looking at everyone in the room. “Kenny I don’t what’s really going on in that head of yours, but you better and I mean you better watch what you say or what hell you do next time, do you understand?” Kenny nodded his head then he looks over at Dean with death stare.

Back on the bus Dean was on his phone watching a video while Kenny was catching up on some of his favorite Japanese shows he use to watch back in Japan with you. His phone rings only to see you calling him. It put a smile on his face as he answered. “Hey babe how's everything?” You smiled as you was taking a bubble bath. “I’m fine babe just taking my bath drinking wine.” As you sip your wine glass. “Yeah I know how much you love drinking wine when you take a bubble bath. So yeah let me guess you called about what you saw?” You nodded your head, “well yeah babe I mean what happened right there? I know what made you snap, but what?” Kenny sigh as he look out the window. “Try to understand your mine and for Dean to leave that note for you, nah I don’t think so. I did what I did and yeah I got in trouble for it.” You giggled a little as you and Kenny start talking about both your nights. Little did Kenny know Dean was listening while Seth and Roman nodded here heads to one another.

On the next week Kenny had a match with Seth which turn out to be a great match between them. Kenny pick up the win as he walk up the ramp while the crowd goes wild. Seth sat there in the ring in shock. Kenny headed to the back getting ready to change just so he can head to the hotel. “Kenny?” A female voice was heard in the back. “Cara?” Kenny said. “Hey Kenny long time no see. How you been?” He nodded his head as look down at her. “I’m fine just doing great with myself yeah. How about you Cara how's life?” He said with a smile smile. Cara and Kenny’s past was pretty much ok. Kenny being in Japan Cara being in america it was hard for them but they tried to make it work until one day Cara just told Kenny that she couldn’t do it so they ended it as friends.

Kenny smiles as they both started to walk away together talking about how everything is. “You know Kenny I’m glad you’re here in america, I mean look around it’s great your going to love the food the action you know.” Cara spoke. Kenny laugh as he look at her. “Yeah I know but I’m here because I want to end my career with WWE.” Cara look up at Kenny with a smile. “Oh yeah then what?” Kenny smiled as he look up into the sky. “Then move back to Japan and marry Y/N.” Cara stop as she look at Kenny. “You mean the writer the one who makes all those poems in her book Y/N?” He nodded his head. “Well that’s great I mean….it’s good.” She said with fake smile. “I know I can’t wait to spend the rest of my life with her you know?” Cara nodded her head as they both started walking again.

Cara and Kenny walk back to the hotel entering the lobby, little did they know Dean and Roman were both sitting in the bar watching them both enter then sitting next to each other ordering drinks. “Who’s the chick?” Dean said. “That my friend is Cara Kenny’s ex.” Karl said to him, “Why the hell is she hear?” Karl said. “Who know maybe to break up Kenny and Y/N?” Roman said. Dean look back at Roman. “Oh yeah I bet she can do one hell of good job with that.” Dean said laughing at them.

Kenny and Cara start laugh while Cara start to take shots while Kenny just drank down his soda. “So Kenny how long have you both been dating?” Kenny laugh at Cara, “Yeah we’ve been together for two years so yeah. We meet in Japan when she was doing her book signing and I was like wow.” He laugh while Cara just look at him. “You know Kenny I love her, I love her books I mean she’s a great writer and all.” Cara said looking up at him, “But I missed you so much I just wishes we could have work things out a little better then what I made.” Cara look up at him as he moved her finger over Kenny’s lips.

Kenny look down at Cara then he turn his head the other way. “Cara were just friends now I’ve move on I’m with Y/N now so me and you are done. You even said it yourself.” Cara started to cry, “Please Kenny can we please try it again?” Kenny shook his head as got up paying for the drinks. Cara got up as she walk with Kenny back to her hotel room. Once upstairs Kenny help Cara enter her room as he laid her down on her Cara kiss Kenny as he move back from her. “Kenny please?” Kenny look down at her as lean in kissing Cara back. Dean was on the outside of Cara hotel room door hearing the noise. “Damn Kenny.” Dean walk away from the door and enter his hotel room laid down on his side of the bed looking over at Roman nodded his head. “Yeah Kenny gave in you was right?” Dean gave Roman the $100 as they both watch a movie.

You sat on your sofa watching your favorite show on Netflix you look over to see the door to you apartment open just to see Kenny rushing in. “Hey baby how was the live show?” As you got up from the sofa walking to Kenny then he grabs your face kissing you hard. You move your head over just so you can talk. “Kenny I miss you as well clam down.” Kenny pick you up then laid you down on the sofa. “You know what Y/N let’s have a baby right now.” You sat up looking at Kenny. “What?” Kenny start to to take his clothes off, “Y/N please have my baby will ya.” You nodded as you took off your bathrobe. That night you and Kenny made love and rough sex all because Kenny made one little mistake.

#kenny omega x reader #Kenny Omega #dean ambrose #roman reigns #fan fiction #fanfic #fanficwwe #WWE #dean ambrose x kenny omega

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a-panda-reads-act-omega · 7 years

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ACT OMEGA PART 8

THE 24/10/16 UPDATE

Woow, another liveblog from your favorite act omega liveblogger. Are there any other livebloggers out there i need to know. So yeah, here we are with part 8! Big Vriska number for the win. Also only two updates away from double digits! Yeah, I’m not sure I thought this through with the whole update-update format, this might take a L OT of posts to get caught up. Luckily, I have no problem with making a fuckton of posts. Anyways, I think we left off with the kids, so lets hurry up and get back to them!

(Cant post the image. Here’s the link. http://mspfanventures.com/?s=16414&p=47)

GASP, IS thIS SOME MULTIPLE CHOICE SHIT? Well considering I’m forever going to be staying chronological, I suppose I should start with the one on the next page!

A CHARACTER SELECTION MENU appears through the power of NON-LINEAR STORYTELLING. You know the drill by now, have some free will! Or just go in this order, if you think agency is overrated

ONE | TWO | THREE | FOUR | FIVE

Oh, that’s helpful. Great, I’ll start with ONE then.

The fact that you are a dedicated and loyal reader is obvious and indisputable, so of course you won’t be moving on ahead without having taken a gander at all of the options presented to you.

Obviously! what kinda brainless CHUMP would move on without you explicitly stating to? NOT ME.

Anyways, starting with ONE.

PFt, woah their eyes.

KANAYA: (Hey) ROXY: oh heeeeey! KANAYA: (Hey To You Again Except Slightly More Quietly) ROXY: (oh sorry)

It seems they gotta be quiet for reasons. H m m M..

ROXY: (why r we whispering) KANAYA: (I Am Not Entirely Sure)

So they just need to be miss zuipPer lips for no reason then?

KANAYA: (That Just Seems To Be What Everyone Has Lapsed Into Doing) KANAYA: (And Now Speaking In A Normal Volume Will Draw More Attention Than Desired Especially When Attempting To Have A Private Conversation) ROXY: (im lovin this private convo already but you might need to make it snappy)

so everybodys just whispering? do they all got SECRETS? Also, what’s the hurry Roxy?

ROXY: (john looks about ready to get down n dirty with some srs leadership biz)

Oh yeah.

KANAYA: (Alright Then I Will Attempt To Be Brief) KANAYA: (I Wanted To Thank You Again) KANAYA: (For The Matriorb Certainly)

Alright cool! It seems that this Kanaya does remember Roxy giving her the good ol’ matriorb.

KANAYA: (But Additionally For Everything Else You Have Accomplished Today) KANAYA: (I Know Being The One To Strike The Final Blow Against Our Shared Enemy In The Midst Of Battle Does Not Necessarily Warrant Gratitude But I Thought It Might Be Nice For You To Hear That What You Did Was Appreciated)

What she DID, was prove herself to be a goddamn BADASS. But honestly everybody here’s a badass one way or another.

KANAYA: (At Least By Me) KANAYA: (On Behalf Of My Species As Well As All Those Who Suffered At The Behest Of The Condesce) KANAYA: (And All Those That May Now Be Born And Live Free Of Tyranny) KANAYA: (You Did Good)

Pft, nice. “Ya did good, kid.”

ROXY: (omg i am cri)

goddammit these lines always manage to be fucking perfect.

ROXY: (that wasnt brief @ all but twas so so bootiful) ROXY: (gdi cmere moms big loveable space gf)

OK this doesn’t need to be stated, but I fucking love roxy.

KANAYA: (Um I Would Prefer It If We Saved The Hug For Later Maybe) ROXY: (aww ok thats cool)

nO FUCKING HUG NOW

KANAYA: (Anyway I Have Only Just Met You But You Have Already Proven Yourself To Be Just As Extraordinary An Individual As Your...) KANAYA: (Uh) KANAYA: (Rose)

Nice Kanaya.

ROXY: (as my rose?) KANAYA: (Yes Your Rose) ROXY: (;D)

ITS CONFIRMED, Rose is Roxy’s Rose. this conversation is so cute.

See you’re still over there TZ. Whatcha lookin at? The uh... oh youre blind. what are you doing terezi?? come on girl, celebrate!

ROXY: (okay looks like john got distracted by somethin) ROXY: (so since we got a little more time to chat it up) ROXY: (and so long as were exchangin bomb as FUCK felicitations) ROXY: (youre not so shabby yourself yknow) ROXY: (like damn i was absolutely right youre one deadly customer)

Yeah no fuckin kidding, this girl knows how to kick ass.

ROXY: (seeing u whip out that BEASTLY CHAINSAW) ROXY: (was a sight to behold)

PFt, that was nothing. You should have seen when she single handedly put three of the most dangerous characters on the meteor out of commision.

KANAYA: (I Really Did Not Do All That Much Surprisingly) KANAYA: (Or Perhaps Unsurprisingly) KANAYA: (I Am Not Sure If I Was Erring On The Side Of Caution After All) KANAYA: (Out Of Consideration For The Gift You Gave Me) KANAYA: (Or If Perhaps I Was Simply Unpracticed)

Well yeah, she didnt do as much in this battle as the others. But like she said, she had the matriorb to keep safe. PLUS, she wasnt godtier. So yeah Kanaya, you’re excused from doing your makeup during the final epic battle.

ROXY: (who cares??) ROXY: (we WON) ROXY: (gave that witch what was COMING TO HER) ROXY: (and thats the end of that no point gettin our knickers all in a twist over it no more)

Roxy’s got the right idea. There doesn’t gotta be any more “proving yourself.” You did the battle, and you came out on top! JUst be done with it.

KANAYA: (Yes I Suppose Youre Right) KANAYA: (Though I Do Wonder How Things Might Have Gone If I Had Attempted To Dust Off One Of The Old Fraymotifs)

Oh shit, Kanaya’s got fraymotifs? And also, you can use fraymotifs without being godtier?

oh. wait. terezi isnt godtier is she? Yeah, you totally can use fraymotifs without godtier.

ROXY: (no kidding!) ROXY: (yeah that woulda been pretty badass) ROXY: (we could have had a sick combo) ROXY: (void and...) ROXY: (uh) KANAYA: (Space) ROXY: (right yeah space)

Well too bad you’ll never have the opportunity to USE that sick deadly combo!

I am ONE HUNDRED percent sure that will be the case

i am SO SURE

nobody has to die anymore

completely sure.

KANAYA: (It May Have Indeed Been Sick But Upon Further Reflection Perhaps Not)

No kanaya, it would be SUPER fuckin badass dont even give me that shit.

ROXY: (wait rly) ROXY: (how come?) KANAYA: (I Dont Feel Like I Ever Got The Opportunity To Truly Get In Touch With My Aspect Like You) KANAYA: (It Has Never Seemed Pertinent That I Be Able To Cast Some Sort Of Spacey Enchantment) KANAYA: (In Fact I Have Yet To Stumble Across A Scenario I Could Not Handle Through More Traditional Methods) ROXY: (u mean a deadly body slam full a sharp metal teeth twice the length of your head) KANAYA: (Yes Precisely) KANAYA: (That Tends To Cover The Bases Pretty Well)

WELL, Chainsaws do seem to cover many different issues. Mainly the ones which involve somebody needing to be cut the fuck in half. But I dont know if being “In touch” with your aspect was ever really a thing. I mean, when did John become “in touch” with his aspect? He just sorta got the powers and did shit with them. i dont really know what that has to do with it- wait a goddamn second. People always associate the wind aspect with like independence and shit, right? And.. the last thing that happened before John went godtier, was a choice. Given to him by Vriska, who for the first time decided to step back and let him decide what to do on his own. Whether or not she would have owned up to what she said about letting him decide how to fall asleep, he still made the choice and went with it on is own. So maybe that’s got something to do with it.

Or maybe I’m just an idiot.

ROXY: (well you know what thats cool) ROXY: (u do u) ROXY: (besides) ROXY: (hopefully there wont be any more reason for you to wreck shit)

GOddammit stop saying shit like that

KANAYA: (That Would Be Ideal I Suppose) KANAYA: (However It Is Always Wise To Be Prepared) KANAYA: (Just In Case) ROXY: (ofc!) ROXY: (and hey) ROXY: (just cuz we won the game doesnt mean there wont be any more opportunities to like) ROXY: (explore yourself and your aspect) ROXY: (our cool powers are too friggin handy for them to just stop bein relevant once we walk thru a magic door)

SPeaking of which, can THEY HURRY UP AND WALK THROUGH THE MAGIC FUCKING DOOR YET IM GETTING ANXIOUS.

ROXY: (maybe someday youll get the chance to blitz ur chakras and get spacey w it) ROXY: (and itll be at your own pace instead of having to rush it for the sake of fixing some giant spacetastrophe) KANAYA: (That Does Sound Nice)

YES IT DOES NOW HURRY UP THROUGH THE DOOR SO THAT BECOMES A REALITY COME THE FUCK ON JOHN

KANAYA: (Considering Right Now I Am Very Unsure Of How To Even Begin Blitzing Those Particular Chakras) ROXY: (i bet u can ask john) ROXY: (hes rly good at givin advice for stuff like that)

YES HE IS BUT HE ISNT GOOD AT OPENING DOORS AAAAA

ROXY: (tho he probably doesnt even know it pffff) KANAYA: (You Are Also Very Good At Giving Advice) KANAYA: (That Was Not Necessarily A Request I Simply Thought I Should Point That Out) ROXY: (TOO BAD youre gettin some anyway ;P) ROXY: (rly tho ive hardly even begun to wrestle my voidy powers into submission) ROXY: (still got a loooooong way to go on that front) ROXY: (but thus far most of my blitzing has just been like) ROXY: (being around the thing) ROXY: (and letting myself embrace this like) ROXY: (natural synergy i got going w it) KANAYA: (When You Say) KANAYA: (The Thing) KANAYA: (Do You Mean Nothing) KANAYA: (Considering Your Aspect Presides Over Literal Nothingness)

Yes Kanaya, this is exactly what she means.

ROXY: (pffft) ROXY: (yes thats what i mean :p) KANAYA: (Okay I Was Just Attempting To Clarify) KANAYA: (How Does One Surround Themselves With The Concept Of Nonexistence) ROXY: (i dunno!) ROXY: (when u put it that way it does sound pretty mind bending) ROXY: (i guess ive just been lucky?) ROXY: (or maybe the nothing is naturally attracted to me and lucks got nothin to do w it)

WELL YEAh, what isnt naturally attracted to you? Guys i just really love roxy help

ROXY: (but yeah i got that voidy ring @ one point) ROXY: (and when john started getting to fixing the timeline he took me to a place that felt like) ROXY: (the nothingest nothing to ever unexist) KANAYA: (That Sounds Interesting) KANAYA: (What Was It Like)

Probably nothing.

THATS a cool panel right there.

ROXY: (well it was) ROXY: (white) ROXY: (but not pure white) ROXY: (just slightly off) ROXY: (and) ROXY: (it was super vast) ROXY: (but not like regular outer space where you can actually see stuff like stars stretch on and on til you cant see it anymore) ROXY: (which at least gives u a sense of distance) ROXY: (but instead it was almost claustrophobic) ROXY: (cuz there was nothing there) ROXY: (you and all the other somethings just completely enveloped by a shrink wrap o absence)

HUmm.. thats pretty interesting to say the least. Not really sure what to think of it though! Just pretty nifty.

KANAYA: (Hmmmm) ROXY: (never really tried putting this into words) ROXY: (i think the thing about it was that the void sort of) ROXY: (changed) ROXY: (depending on how i chose to perceive it) ROXY: (cause the whole point is that its kinda like) ROXY: (idk) ROXY: (maybe a little like binary) KANAYA: (Binary?)

too bad sollux is dead he’d get a kick outta this.

did anybody make this connection. computer hacker guy who likes two’s. Binary. man. i feel like everybody did.

ROXY: (yknow binary) ROXY: (computer language) ROXY: (0011101100101001)

TRANSLATOr HELP

“;)“

omfg she just winked in binary.

KANAYA: (Oh That) ROXY: (the way that works is basically) ROXY: (you have a bit) ROXY: (like a computery bit) ROXY: (and it can say either 0 or 1) ROXY: (and dependin on which it is the computer displays the info differently) ROXY: (but the void is like a completely blank bit) ROXY: (there isnt a 0 or a 1 written on the bit yet but thats all were programmed to understand yknow) ROXY: (like 0 is technically nothing but whats important is that theres something there for you to see) ROXY: (but what im gettin at is that really void is just blank space waiting to be written on) ROXY: (by somebody like yours truly) ROXY: (im the computer and youre the person reading the display)

Oh. That’s pretty cool and shit.

OH shes gettin all magicky here

ROXY: (and my whole voidy thing) ROXY: (is that i gotta figure out the code for whatever i wanna make exist) ROXY: (and write it on the blank bits) ROXY: (then) ROXY: (i snatch em outta the void!)

Oh AGAIN. YEAh, roxys power seems a lot cooler now.

ROXY: (yoink!!!)

*gasp*

nice lipstick yo

Kanaya is so fucking cute oml. She looks kinda dumbfounded by this lipstick.

KANAYA: (Wow) KANAYA: (That Was Really Quite Insightful Roxy) KANAYA: (I Think I Am Already Beginning To Understand Things Better) KANAYA: (But What Is This) ROXY: (p sure its lipstick!) ROXY: (and its 4 u) ROXY: (i dont rly know if pinks ur color but) ROXY: (here it is anyway!)

Oh god help me im already starting to ship it.

KANAYA: (Another Gift) KANAYA: (Why) ROXY: (daaaaw i dunno) ROXY: (i mean its actually kinda cool i was able to make this at all) ROXY: (i bet it must be bc of you somehow) ROXY: (you like lipstick right?) KANAYA: (Yes) ROXY: (i dont know if this is just me but i bet this is totes a thing w space players) ROXY: (like i get the vibe that u guys r more in touch with the objects around you) ROXY: (specially the ones thatre important to you) KANAYA: (I Suppose...)

HMm.. Interesting bit of aspect analysis. That could possibly be a thing.

ROXY: (well?) ROXY: (ru gonna take it or what) KANAYA: (I Really Cant Accept This) KANAYA: (I Was Attempting To Alleviate The Debt Of Gratitude I Have Already Been Accumulating Towards You) KANAYA: (A Measly Thank You Is Hardly Enough) KANAYA: (And Yet You Present Me With Even More To Be Thankful For)

COme on Kanaya dont be like that. Just take the thing and be hAPPY! you dont gotta prove yourself for a gift.

ROXY: (man thats not how this works) ROXY: (you dont owe me nothin) ROXY: (but heck if it makes u feel better) ROXY: (the space egg wasnt rly 4 u it was 4 all the little trollings that need to be born) ROXY: (skewering the batterwitch was definitely 4 me and earth and stuff) ROXY: (and the lipstick is to thank u for takin such good care of my mom :D)

Dont you mean your Rose?

KANAYA: (... That Does Make Me Feel Slightly Better) ROXY: (so youll take it??) KANAYA: (Okay) ROXY: (hella) KANAYA: (Thank You) KANAYA: (Again) ROXY: (dont mention it!)

She will likely mention this many times.

WEll that was the end for their interaction I suppose, so it seems like we get one page of another interaction then? I guess Dirk and Jake.

Ohp, yep. Jeez they look awkward.

DIRK: (... So.) JAKE: (...) DIRK: (...) DIRK: (That was some fight, huh.)

Goddammit this is awkward.

JAKE: (Oh yes that sure was a doozy of a brawl we all just participated in.) JAKE: (Or rather multiple brawls.) DIRK: (I think you’re probably up to speed on exactly how well mine went.) JAKE: (Um.) JAKE: (Should i be?) DIRK: (Nevermind.)

Just another beheading of good ol’ Dirk. Seems like that’s a common thing for him.

((OhOFOHSANSIJFN HOLY SHIT I PRESSED A BUTTON AND FOR A SECOND I THOUGHT I ALMOST DELETED EVERYTHING I WROTE DAMMIT TUMBLR GIVE ME WARNINGS))

JAKE: (Sorry... its just difficult to, uh...) DIRK: (Don’t be sorry. It doesn’t actually matter.) JAKE: (The important part is you won right?) DIRK: (Yeah...) DIRK: (How did yours go?) DIRK: (If you feel like sharing, that is.) JAKE: (Oh i won too!) DIRK: (Well. Obviously.) DIRK: (I meant... like.) DIRK: (Specifically, HOW you won.) DIRK: (I’d be down to hear some details of all the kickassery you've been dishing out.) DIRK: (That must've been pretty crazy solo.)

Come ONNNN guys, quit dancing around the topic here. Somethings bothering you and its making everything shitty.

JAKE: (Oh.) JAKE: (Well i wasnt alone for long actually.) JAKE: (In fact it was quite the clusterfuck of skeletons sprites and green goblin brutes!) JAKE: (That crabby troll fellow even showed up at one point.) JAKE: (He seemed to be having a difficult time with one of the tinier rascals but i was up to my ears in fracas and fisticuffs myself and couldnt really lend him a hand.)

Dammit Karkat. I love him, but god he’s adorably pathetic in fights.

DIRK: (It looks like he’s alright, so no harm done.) DIRK: (How many of those green dudes were there again?) JAKE: (Im fairly certain there were 14.) DIRK: (And you trounced all of them?) JAKE: (Actually k...carat dealt with one of them i think.) JAKE: (They were small but a decidedly tricky foe. It was scurrying around so fast i dont think a single one of my bullets even grazed it!)

He has ALLLL the luck Jake, ALL of it! Honestly, can we get a Vriska/Clover battle?

DIRK: (Well, shit. Sounds tough.) DIRK: (Still, my score reads "Jake: 13, Goblins: 0".) DIRK: (Oh, and I’m pretty sure the name you’re looking for is Karkat.) JAKE: (Is that so?) DIRK: (Yup.) JAKE: (My mistake then...) DIRK: (Don’t worry about it.)

Dammit Jake, don’t be so fucking hard on yourself. I feel bad for him now. Like, he’s beating himself up over not knowing a complete strangers name.

JAKE: (Have you spoken to him at all yet?) DIRK: (Nah.) JAKE: (Would you like to?) DIRK: (I guess? Sure.) DIRK: (He and Dave seem to be in the middle of something, though. No point in interrupting.) DIRK: (Besides, I’m talking to you right now.) JAKE: (...) DIRK: (...)

(...)

Alright dammit, I guess we’ll see if they get over whatever’s bugging them in the next update, because that’s the last page. Seeya next time and whatnot folks.

#homestuck #homestuck liveblog #act omega #act omega liveblog #hs act omega #hs act omega liveblog

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gulescamisade · 6 years

Text

Virginia: Day 21

DAVENFORTH: -Finally, it is finished. Dave is just sitting on stage, legs hanging off the edge while having a smoke. If it looks like he's brooding, it's because he is.-

MAYOR: -copying his pose. He, too, is brooding, sitting on top of an amp.-

RILEY: -she's back at it again at the theater for her own reasons when she sees Dave is still here. And the adorable mayor. she sighs and goes over to him- you love here now or what?

DAVENFORTH: Just making sure it's all good and spending some quality time with the mayor aint that right mayor

MAYOR: -WAVES-

RILEY: -waves back at the mayor- cute. you slept at all or...

DAVENFORTH: Lif threatened to fork me if i didnt

PENNY: -APPEARS from behind the stage- yeah I bet shell fork you.

PENNY: just tried on my outfit.

DAVENFORTH: Still fit

PENNY: bitch Ill come over there and sock you.

RILEY: -surprised to see penny here but not at the same time- i wanna see.

DAVENFORTH: -Shrugs-

PENNY: youll see it. tomorrow. -B)-

PENNY: -walks over to Davenforth and nudges him- what you brooding for? its all coming together like you wanted.

RILEY: rude. -she waits for daves answer to that question-

DAVENFORTH: Love it when a plan comes back together

DAVENFORTH: Everybody ready to see a dead man come back to life

RILEY: you bet.

PENNY: -squints down at him-

DAVENFORTH: Its gonna be one hell of a party -Grins up at Penny-

PENNY: ... -leans in real close to his face. Like UNCOMFORTABLY CLOSE.-

PENNY: -she SNIFF-

DAVENFORTH: -Smooches her nose-

RILEY: well okay.

PENNY: BAUGH?? -reels back-

PENNY: you fuck.

PENNY: -does he smell like alcohol tho-

DAVENFORTH: -Not now, just smoke-

PENNY: -she knew it-

PENNY: -slumps over him from behind and hugs his neck. SHE HAS ACQUIRED A KINDRED SPIRIT HERE SHE IS PRETTY SURE.- PENNY: its gonna go off.

PENNY: dont be dumb and stop worrying.

PENNY: you know what youre in this for Jesus.

RILEY: alternatively, you're in this for jesus.

PENNY: fuck me in the ass cuz I love Jesus.

RILEY: book of penny chapter 4 verse 20.

ERIDAN: -walks in, hears this, walks back out again.-

RILEY: -give me twinkies bitch-

PENNY: -lmao-

DAVENFORTH: Whats that about jesus and and fucking in the ass what is this sacrilege

RILEY: now we know the buzzwords that get your attention.

DAVENFORTH: Peep my piper scarf

PENNY: its what the good lord would have wanted.

DAVENFORTH: Anal with you

DAVENFORTH: Yeah okay

RILEY: -she's snickering-

DAVENFORTH: Everyone got their songs picked

DAVENFORTH: Seems like penny wants a duet with jesus

PENNY: more like a threesome.

DAVENFORTH: That could probably be arranged

RILEY: who's the third?

PENNY: ever heard of the holy trinity?

DAVENFORTH: The mayor obviously

RILEY: i'm just wondering if you're planning on being a part of it. If you're an outside party then we're going foursies.

PENNY: Jesus take the wheel and also these tiddies.

DAVENFORTH: Not on stage

RILEY: aw man. RILEY: i need to figure out what the hell i'm gonna wear so i don't look like I have a basketball under my shirt.

PENNY: give yourself HUGE titties instead.

DAVENFORTH: -penny are you drunk-

RILEY: i mean...that comes with the territory.

DAVENFORTH: Just tig ol biddies

RILEY: that don't feel great. RILEY: do you guys know what shit you're gonna perform yet?

DAVENFORTH: Im pretty much set unless you had some ideas to throw at me

RILEY: well we're doing one.

DAVENFORTH: -Raises an eyebrow-

RILEY: yep.

PENNY: oh???

RILEY: yep.

DAVENFORTH: What are we singing

RILEY: well i was thinking...we could figure that out.

DAVENFORTH: Hell yeah

DAVENFORTH: Well think up something dope

RILEY: depends if you wanna sing or rap or both I guess. run this town maybe. i could see us pulling that off.

DAVENFORTH: Could get Derek in on that one

RILEY: yeah, actually. -looks at penny- you wanna?

PENNY: um yes?

RILEY: then fuck, let's do it.

DAVENFORTH: Fuck yeah lets get it

DAVENFORTH: Think i got one for me and penny too

RILEY: oh? -raises eyebrows a few times-

DAVENFORTH: Yep fourfiveseconds

RILEY: -grins at penny- that mean i get to hear you sing?

PENNY: you get to hear something. Im not gonna call it singing.

RILEY: hey, i'll take it.

DAVENFORTH: Please dont embarrass me

PENNY: too late. I already had plans to grab your dick on stage.

DAVENFORTH: Thats not even embarrassing

PENNY: call me Miley and Ill go full cow on you.

DAVENFORTH: Thicc

DAVENFORTH: Hope you dont expect me to dress up like beetlejuice up there

RILEY: i doubt any of us have even the slightest capacity for embarrassment.

#robynsaint #tenaciousgodliness #pennyLane

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lostboy-jr-blog · 7 years

Photo

Bruh, why dad always cut your hair so low? didn't know what a fade or a line up was till I was about 11. Look at you , what in the world could you possibly be stressing ? Trynna upgrade your orange belt to the next shade of ass kicking , You was a short mf but that attitude had them load mouths in position. When did you ever stop smiling? It seemed your jaw was stuck on cheese like you was always camera ready. Even when zaae was born there was no jealousy, you was grinning from ear to ear, struggling from carrying her around cus her ass was so heavy. "No dad I got her. Let me !" Run around in your under wear, no nut hair, building super hero lairs in the living room hiding when you heard them steps hug the stairs. Trips to universal and the movies often, even on bad days , waters rough, high tide but you ain't never flip when the boat rocking. What happen? You saw "your a bitch" always flying. Ducking when them "fuck you's" started swanging. Made you a lil cold inside but the ac on 75. You saw but could not address the lies , just hope that you could do enough to make the storm rise and lift heavy eyes out of the water. She is your daughter. My sister. And I , her protector. I was her umbrella in the rain, her retreat in the war. I was there too make sure she never got lost in the storm. She was a free one, she would leave mom, and run for the pool and free jump. But she can't swim, shit I can't too. But nobody watching I got to do what I got to do. Lil dumbass we almost died but since that day I know I'd die for you. But protecting you made winter last a lil longer , the shield kept you safe but the medal became a little less harder. High school around the corner, I remember you. Goofy ass long hair no blowout just a head band , polo shirt, cargos, and your new shoes. Met your brother that day, Ivener and carl too. I mean youll never be blood , but i know you jump in front of that nine, for him, before seeing 6 down for some of your other kin. You was a smooth talker but no shot caller. No hollister but aero had sales. I remember how badly you wanted to be cool like jaylin, Isaac, and dale. But that lime light wasn't for you, had to be a little more lowkey, but you see, you tried to hard , and it left you where you are. Straight F's to represent your freshman start. Playing catch up for 36 months. I bet now you know it wasn't worth the fun. Man I miss the sun, seeing you walking to the field to start off on the gridiron with some suicides and coaches "fun runs." Didn't last long, don't flex, had the skill but didn't have the grades. Could been better but you thought life owed you something? Df life owe you? What did you do for life to be in debt to you? Boy you went to cypress creek, you had to earn yours like everybody else fool. But you made it, 2 hours before rehearsal, no seat reserved cus they thought you wasn't game but you laced up. "Up all night , glass full u prefer the better thanngs , you gunna fucking graduate so you can see them fucking teachers hating!" Up all night just to make the grade, just to see your mom crying here your dad screaming when you walk the stage. Cap and gown, at the time I would have preferred a fitted but I walked that stage like a king with his crown. Those three years weren't wasted. You was down in the first quarter but that series was 3-1. You won, boy get you ass to cocoa beach and soak up the sun cus you a bad mf from the 407 and now you earned some fun. So why did you leave ? Was it really dad ? Or was you scared of being nothing? Did you see that maybe home wasn't home any more and you was in search of something ? I guess you still don't know ? You might never ! But I hate seeing you this way I miss seeing you when you was lighter then an angels feather. Now you seem a little heavier closer to the ground. Seems you talk a little less and you just soak up the moments of empty sounds. Seems you struggle to cheese like it's gone rotten. Did it have something to do with Chicago ? When you was happy to be a dad , but bad luck and your demons left you back in that barracks room all alone. You where picking out baby names , your son would be a king, so king it was. I'm sorry that the complications took you from us. I'm sorry that you wanted to cry but didn't know how to, sorry that you felt alone in crowd and couldn't leave the room. I'm sorry that you reached for a hand but those palms where all slippery you can grip hard but you slid through. Sorry for what washington did to you. I'm sorry that you fell head over heals for her brown skin and the way her lips feel. Sorry that 3 months felt like 6 years and the "I love you" spilled . I'm sorry that you didn't love your self so you needed her too for the both of you. I'm sorry you didn't look into the mirror and see what she did to you. What you did to you. What the navy did to you. What mom and dad did to you. What life did to you. I'm sorry that you are always so sorry for things you did and didn't do. I should have been there to stop you. When 3 sleeping pills turned to a dozen. I know you didn't want to kill you. You wanted the starring off to end, that and the tossing and turning in bed, also the dirty looks to your self in the mirror while you tried forcing your smile to bend. When, Did you become this broken? When did sleeping become not enough ? Why did all escapes become a bust? Why do you sit there and take those little white pills ? Is it cus the green ones didn't work and the pinks ones had the same feel? Why do you always stare at them before you intake to your soul. You have so many miles on you , seems now like you're going down a hill tapping every now and then on the brake to not get lost in a burning crash and role. You always had the answer when there was help in need. You where sweet fruit and a hungry soul needed to feed. You welcomed tortured minds with zenful sleep. You enveloped pain with joy and made a smile from grief. You don't want to be alone but here you are, On a carrier fifty five thousand sailors strong. Still alone. Far from home. Far from fixed. Far from the shores of where you where born. Out at sea. But maybe it's where I belong. We don't always end up where we want to be, you don't always get to choose the song. You have to role with what you got because this point in life seems like it might be a little long. You gave up the smokes and the heavy drinking too. I just want to see you get back to you. She might be out there , maybe she isn't? Maybe your scares will never be mended. But you'll never find that job that makes you happy to come to work in the morning But at least those moments when you are you, You made somebody's life less boring. You where there when they needed you, the best that you could be, you have a beautiful soul no matter how much it is bleeding. Your smile and compassion planted many seedlings in broken beings and that gave you meaning. Deployment is here , please don't jump. I know you think about it but stop. Before you ever do listen and see. Hear moms broken heart from knowing yours no longer beats. See zaae's eyes that will be enveloped by the sea and no one will ever be able to dry. I'm not sure what dad will do but I know he'll sit there and wonder why? Why did his son that fought so long, give up and die ? Hear your brothers silence because they can't understand why. Here abuela say a little extra prayer every night. For Germancito who lost his fight. Don't do this to them, they are the reason your smile always bent. Up. And away. Little did you know you where the one that always saved the day. You are the hero you always wanted to be, and did it effortlessly. Please don't go sleep. There are two important days in your life. The day you are born. And the day you find out why.

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