#but i wasnt strong enough to pull thru
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[spidey!steve au where steve loses his first fight as spiderman and eddie is patching him up.]
it was a close call, if robin hadnt came in and helped steve, he would have been seriously injured and the enemy would have gotten away. he was quiet as eddie patches up his bruises and cuts, eddie tries to talk to him but his mind is racing with all the things he could have done better.
maybe if he was faster the enemy wouldnt have been able to cut his web and cause him to fall. maybe if he was stronger he could have knocked the enemy out after that first few punches. maybe if he was smarter he could have seen who the enemy was before this fight even began. maybe—
“knock it out, stevie.” eddie said as he flicker steve on the forehead. “i can hear you thinking.”
steve glares at eddie. “i’m injured. you’re not allowed to hurt me even more.”
eddie rolls his eyes. “dont be dramatic. thats my thing.”
steve looks away from eddie’s kind eyes. it was distracting and all he wanted was to brood over his lost today.
“look.” eddie started, grabbing steve hands and holding it in his. “the villain was caught and apprehended. thats all that matters, sweetheart.”
steve stares at their hands, eddie’s hands were rough but they were warm compared to steve cold ones. “i almost lost and if werent for robbie i would have died and that asshole would gotten away and do more. its a big deal, eddie!”
“but he didnt okay. he’s taken down and you and rob saved the day. it all comes down to that. you saved this town again, steve.” eddie said softly, squeezing steve’s hand.
“thats not enough.” steve growled. he let go of eddie’s hands and jumped down the counter. ran his hands thru his hair, stared at eddie, feeling defeated. “i was given this power, eddie. its special and wonderful and even with this great responsibility i almost lost! i wasnt fast enough or strong enough or smart enough! whats the point of having this power if i cant even use it right! im still the same loser i was before i got it!”
“listen to me.” eddie called to him, grabbing him by his waist. “you’re not special because you’re spiderman, steve. spiderman is special because he’s you.”
steve stopped breathing. is it because of eddie’s hand on his waist or because of what eddie said he’ll never know. “what?”
“you didnt become a great person when that spider bit you, steve. you were already an amazing person who is kind and wonderful and sweet. spiderman is loved and respected because underneath that mask is you. you made spiderman what he is and his powers are just tools for you to use but the core of who he is and how well loved he is is because of you, stevie.” eddie said, pulling him even closer. “you didnt start saving people when you put on that mask. you were already saving lives before that. you saved mine when i was at my lowest, saved robin when she was having doubts and fear. saved dustin and the kids by taking care of them. you are the perfect person to be spiderman because no one has the same heart as you, okay?”
“but...” was all steve could say.
“not buts, stevie.” eddie continued. “you saved this town over and over again and i know you’ll have more fights to come and we’ll be there for you, to help you win every fight and if you lose we’ll be here to patch you up and get you ready for the next fight. you’re the perfect spiderman, steve harrington and no gets to question that. not even you.”
eddie pulled him back to the counter so he can finish patching up steve. all steve could do was watch him. feeling warmth and love for the man in front of him, steve knew he could win all his fights with eddie taking care of him like this.
spiderman was indeed special but not because steve harrington was underneath the mask but because he has eddie munson in every step.
#stranger things#steve harrington#eddie munson#steddie#steve stranger things#steddie stranger things#eddie stranger things#steve x eddie#steddie headcanon#spidey steve harrington
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SPOILERS FOR KUNG FU PANDA 4
This is a massive rant btw. I have a lot of thoughts about this movie
(TW: Bad spelling and not remembering any names 💀)
...
Yh so I'm ranting rn
Like it was good, but not great 🕴️. Does not compare to the first 2, DEFINITELY not the second one, that one was just 🙌🏽 . And u know, that's ok, it's hard to pull a puss in boots and do better than the originals, but still the movie was lack luster
These are my points for why:
1. Plot was SO obvious. As soon as I saw that fox I knew she d be the new dragon warrior, cuz yh. Just obvious. And you know what? I wouldv been fine with that if they developed her character more. Like her bond with po SHOULDV been developed SO MUCH MORE. It felt like their whole dynamic was she was sarcastic and he went 🥺 n that's it. Like, why couldn't they have bonded more on them both being orphans ? How she feels unwanted because the world has rejected her and KEEPS rejecting her, but Po (who has gone thru a very similar thing) can teach her that yes that may be true, but that won't always be the case and once she finds her found family she can feel accepted, just like what happens to Po.
2. The villain and her daughter - so much potential but not enough done for them. Like just. I loved their dynamic, just SO MICH POTENTIAL BUT NOT ENOUGH GIVEN. There was one flashback of them meeting. That's it. There was basically only r4 interactions between them aswell: the betrayal scene, the "I'm using you" scene,the flashback and the final fight. And in NONE of these does it show how strong of a connection they have what about their relationship makes the fox betray Poe for the chameleon??? I wish we had a shi fu and tai lung type flashback where it showed the chameleon raising her and them developing a bond so that we know how hard it is for the fox to go against her orders
3. The villain herself - what motive ? U cannot convince me that "I'm evil because all the kung fu masters rejected me because I was too small" WHEN THERES A SNAKE THE SAME SIZE AS HER AND A F*CKING BUG WHO ARE BOTH AMAZING KUNG FU WARRIORS . like no. Just no. Someone would accepted her. U can't use her size as a reason for her becoming evil, just no. Instead, why not explain her reason being that she was poor/living in the streets ? A large portion of the movie is set around how there's a large group underground who have turned to crime, and poverty is often rampant in cities, so why not use that ? It also allows her to bond more with the fox as they have the same upbringing, but instead the chameleon was never able to get past how no one helped her and everyone rejected her, whilst the fox is able to accept where she is and find ppl who will accept her. Then they could've had a rlly impactful scene in the end where the fox accepts change and wanted the chameleon to change with her because SHE loves her and would fight for her, mother daughter style. Like writing that out just rlly made me think about how much they missed the mark, almost all 3 KFP movies are about father-son bonds, this movie could've had an impactful mother-daughter bond n it blew it 😩. So yh, I don't think the villains motive was fleshed out enough, I just don't think that her being small should have been the main centre for her character. Compare her to all the past villains, her motive is too simple and not developed enough
4. Tai lung and shen. NOT USED ENOUGH. How dare u bring those GODS OF VILLAISN back and not use them properly. And also have Po barely be surprised about them . SHEN IS THE MAN THAT COMMITTED MASS GENOCIDE AGAINST UR SPECIES, KILLED UR MOTHER AND LEFT U AN ORPHAN, Y R U NOT SHOCKED OR WORRIED THAT HE S HERE. And on top of that, ain't no what that peacock would simply bow and go " 🙂" and leave. He ain't bowing to Po, why would he respect him ? Shen doesn't CARE about being the dragon warrior, that wasnt his calling or whatever. Like, i could hav accepted it if he at least had a sentence apologizing for his actions, just ANYTHING that explains why he s so calm. I'm not angry that he is calm, I'm angry that it wasn't explained 🕴️(and tbh, I don't even think he needed a redemption arc much. He did horrible stuff, yes he has trauma, doesn't explain his actions. His death was a result of his arrogance and karma for his actions, I just think his character was fine (stressing him as a character was well written) the way it is, of anything this movie and taken away from his character )
And tai lung. Most of his character in this was comedy. And him going from "you are a mistake🙄" to "actually ur not a mistake 😏" within 10 minutes was annoying. I wish there was more interaction between him and Po. Then fighting together, bonding. Have them BOTH grow to move on from the title of dragon warrior together, since that title is such a grand part of both of their identities that they both have had a tough time letting go of. Once again, I'm not angry that he made jokes n was acting goofy (that was fun, I liked that), I'm annoyed that the movie didn't explain or provide context for why he was able to get over his past feelings and beliefs.
I can understand that they died and were able to let go of their actions in their mortal life, i just wish that it was addressed or properly shown. Especially shen, in his last moments he was given the chance to fess up n be good and he still refused. Bro died with u finished business, I would like to see how he came to terms with that or at least hav it b addressed
Overall, the bringing back of the past VILLAISN was fumbled. So much potential, but not used and on top of that it just kinda makes a joke of them and their original actions.
--> quick add on that I just remembered. Where r the five ? Like, I understand that they could've get the actors back or whatever. Ok find. But why not hav the chameleon capture all of them at the start and then they remain captured/past out/in a coma the rest of the movie until they R rescued :/. Like. That's such a better way of writing them out cuz a. It gives Poe even more incentive to want to take down the chameleon B. It makes the chameleon a much more threatening villain, cuz all the chameleon does in this movie is push one dude down some stairs, and then bring back so dead ppl, lick them n put them in a cage 🕴️. I would appreciate more stakes. ALSO PO SHOULDV TALKED ABOUT HIS FRIENDSHIP WITH THE 5 MORE, cuz this guy is a yapper, ain't no way he ain't talking bout them. It couldv once again been a way he bonded with the fox, if both of them had looked up to the 5 or something like that, or maybe even just about how Po can't wait to accept the fox into his found family
ANOTHER SIDE NOTE: wish they developed po and the foxes friendship. I might hav said this b4, I hav bad memory. Just there could've been more bonding , wish there was but alas 😪
5. Poe s trauma ? Now, I'm a psychology student. I love seeing mental health and depth show in movies so I kno I'm being a bit picky. I just wished that we could see more of Poe coming to terms of all the stuff that has happened to him. Or at least referenceing it. I just think that he was way too jokey and light hearted the whole time. Like, there was a scene where fireworks suddenly went off next to him. I wish he flinched or anything like that, since fireworks were such a big thing (almost a trigger) for him in the first movie because of the mass killing of his species by shen. Like, even if he has gotten over it all, it would have been great to have him reference everything he s been through. It could hav been one of the things he bonded over with the fox, how yes, times get tough but you can get thru it if u r supported by the right people
Like tbh I think it wouldv been rlly cool if this movie focused on love :both the healthy and toxic types. Bringing back old villains can reference old baggage , like the toxic love between tai lung and shi fu, and the chameleon and the fox. It could be about breaking those toxic habits and changing to move past them and let the last go. Po couldv acted as the message of that, he could show his surroundings characters how to let go of the past to move on to a better future . Like, after everything he s been through that wouldv been so impactful.
Overall, just a lot of missed potentials in this movie. Still liked it tho. So here are some things I liked.
Visuals: fun visuals . Tho I do think some of the scenery wasn't as memorable as previous movies. Like comparing this villains hideout (wrong word but oh well) to shens, shens is so much more memorable and impactful. Looking at it you feel intimidated. In this movie, not so much. But it was still very pretty and u can tell some hard work went behind it, had some great animations, very smoothe, so yh :)
VIOLA DAVIS AS THE CHAMELEON 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 LOVE HER, LOVE THE VOICE ACTING JUST 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽🫶🏽 like, the chameleon wasn't fleshed out as much as I'd hoped, but I still love her because I can FEEL that's she could be AMAZING cuz everything else was great except for the lack of backstory. Like I love her power, I love her character design, I love her voice .
The gay dad's 🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 I loved them. Highlight of the movie for me🙌🏽🙌🏽🙌🏽 every scene I saw them I smiled. I just loved them so much, that was so cute, I love how they cared about Po so much AND CARED ABOUT EACH OTHER!! That was so cute. Loved that so much. I would watch an entire movie of them cuz just 🙌🏽🙌🏽 loved them so much.
So yh, that's it. Gonna go rewatch all the other movies now
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whitestorm and spottedleaf could be an interesting pair and theyd definitely trauma bond over thistleclaw also its illegal… definitely made more bittersweet by the fact spotted became a med to escape hell only to find herself walking thru fire once again bc “she wasnt strong enough to pull through” n whitestorm always comforts her on the matter bc he loves her no matter what starclan decrees
also their kids would probably be hot so there’s that
White and spotted… I will now ponder it
White is (a reasonable amount) bit older than her and I feel like that’d always be a worry at the back of her mind!! That someday white will have the smell of the df on him and she’ll be lured in AGAIN! But no!! White is good and strong and I think he’d want to be even better to comfort her
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i think you missing the second period really affects your judgement on the game (no hate my love i literally am obsessed w you) but we had a 5 minute penalty major called against lomberg when it shouldnt have been called. It was such a horrible call that even canes fans and nhl fans all over twitter were upset with the call. Ryan Lomberg and Antti Raanta collided and left Raanta hurt (i was so worried for him) and Lomberg got a 5 miniute major conduct and a game. The only issue with the call is that the goalie was so far out into the ice that Lomberg didnt have enough time to stop and get out of the way, ver rarely do you see a goalie that far out. If you watch the play you can see Deangelo warning Lonberg and Lomberg trying to move out of the way but it had been far too late. Since the goalie was so far out, at that point it is not Lomberg’s fault and fair game. I truly hope Raanta is good tho🥲. That call was horrible tho and we were on the power play 5 minutes which led to a goal from you guys. That being said, the panthers were actually playing pretty sloppy in the third (i wont blame the second period on them), but their great start really helped them pull thru with the win. I know yall were missing pesce and nino, but we had lost our best player and captain Aleksander Barkov and our stud goalie Bobrovsky. Losing your goalie and captain can be scary, but they still fought through. I love watching carolina play, but it seems as if Freddie wasnt at his best yesterday. Panthers goalie could have been better too, but hes only 20 years old so hes simply just learning. Both these teams are strong and have amazing front lines, but overall I think the panthers defense and offense were just slightly better. Ik this bc canes twitter was attack the panthers for their only con, which is fan attendance 🥲. That being said there was a lot of efforts from the boys, but I do think the panthers have had a harder schedule so they were used to really good teams and had the chance to fix the problems on their team. I believe the canes will learn from this and come back stronger, like the panthers did after the OTL against the bruins. Loved watching TT, Aho and Svech try their hardest last night. Ironically for some reason the best cane against the panthers is former panthers vinny trocheck 🥲 but its still ALL love for him here. Cant wait to see these guys play again bc Im sure the Canes will step up their game, and Id love to see them play against Barkov and Bobrovsky. BTW if you love the finns I promise you Barkov is a great guy to follow... he is literally so adorable🥺
Yeah that's why I told the anon I'm probably not the best person to discuss about the game with LOL but, while I do also agree with a majority of what you said, you have also only brought up the argument of five minute penalty on the panthers as "the refs favoring the canes". I didn't see the play live, but from what I have seen of players charging goalies, there's mostly always a way to avoid injuring them even if they do go way out of the crease. I just watched the play, and while yes I can see DeAngelo warning him and Lomberg trying to stop, at the end of the day it's still charging. I personally think Lomberg should've been paying more attention, but considering this seems to happen a lot when goalies exit the crease I just don't know. I agree with the five minute major, but I don't think he deserved to be ejected from the game either because injuring Raanta was a complete mistake on Lomberg's part, nowhere do I blame him for that.
In all honesty though, it's just about perspective. Bias plays a lot into how we view games or certain plays, and it's no different for the game last night. The Panthers were the better team (that much was very obvious and nowhere am I saying that we were better), and I do applaud them for that considering they were missing some key players, but, and I'll say this again, it will always be in my opinion that they had a lot of help from the refs. You and the other anon have only brought up the five minute major to argue for unfairness versus the four separate penalties called on us in the first period alone, one on Slavin of all players not even a minute into the game.
Thanks for this lovely debate though, I truly do enjoy them!! But in this case I think we'll just have to agree to disagree, because it's only in human nature to see what we want to see and in this case, I saw very biased refs trying to get us to lose and my mind can't be changed in that, as with you pointing out the unfairness of the five minute major.
I'm also looking forward to seeing them match up again with a (hopefully) full & healthy team, and I might just have to check out Barkov now that you mention it... I do love myself some finns
#im obsessed with u too anon 🤪🤪🤪#respectful debates are my JAM#canes will beat the panthers next time just u wait 😤#long post#<333 anon#answered#canes lb
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OFFAL HUNT REMASTERED LIVEBLOG //CHAPTER 20
i mispelt the title as ‘oofal hunt’ which, i mean, mood,
IN THIS EPISODE OF DEPRESSION TO THE MAX:
"Fuck you."
THAT’S IT. THAT’S-- THERE’S THE CHAPTER.
/looks at the chosen lyrics for this chap
:hrm:
do i still have to a little introduction to this liveblog? twenty chapters in? methinks not so lets just get right Tew It shall we
“We’re here, Ms. Fall.”
/marks this next section down on the tally of cinder’s mistakes. we’re somewhere in the high thousands.
An old Dust extraction point, quietly rotting. Cinder’s mouth pulled. There was an abysmal dearth of kindling.
cinder: you know you could at least take me somewhere better suited for me to kick your ass. this is VERY rude. am NOT a fan. my yelp review will NOT be kind.
i love cinder counting up the numbers. you know honestly id be deeply charmed if someone saw it fit to bring half an army out to take me on. i mean, would it be a pain in my ass? yes. but also. awh. thanks lads! love how many of you blocked out this evening just for me x
"Sienna Khan!" Cinder could barely hear herself between the claws of that strange laughter. "Sienna Khan! It’s really—really—you!"
uh-oh sisters,
oh man sienna and cinder is just. look. WOOF. theres a lot here. a lot going on. a lot that HAD gone on. but also im gay so this tension is peak for me PLEASE lay it on thick!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! LETS GO!
Cinder stopped laughing.
"Overkill," she repeated, and in the same breath, crossed the tarmac in full immolation.
HELL YEAH BABEY. but also was the more the implication that cinder is an easy kill OR the implication that glynda’s the bigger threat that’s more annoying,,,,,,,,,,,,, well!!!!!!!! too late to find out now!!!!!!!!!!!!!
They clashed: once, twice, three times, steel on Aura, flitting through space, but—he wasn't faster than Glynda.
wait it’s the former i forgot cinder’s gay nvm
“Cinder. I mean it. I want to talk.” Sienna’s face revealed nothing. Her gaze stayed fixed on Cinder, as if she were searching for something.
What it could be, Cinder had her guesses, and all of them repulsed her utterly. She spat, “Well, I was only planning on sending your Lieutenant’s head to you in a box signed Love Cinder, so I didn’t really come with a speech prepared.”
SDHJGHJGSKFD SORRY IM LIKE. tryna liveblog but im also just :EYES: at everything here.......... im SO PUMPED for this cause im just SO CURIOUS,,,,,, WE’VE HAD SO MANY SNIPPETS,,,,,,,,, BUT IM HONGRY FOR MORE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
that said i feel like cinder’s the type of person who revisits arguments in her head hours later with new, better points, so i think she does have a speech prepared. in fact i think she has many words stored up in the ol’ meatspace, and all of them are very rude,
The Sienna Khan that Cinder remembered still had baby-fat in her cheeks and hadn’t learned to keep her thoughts off her face. The one she saw now had weaponized distance.
/stage whisper
hang on that visual is cute dont put it in HERE where the TENSION IS
Quietly, Sienna went for her belt, pulling away something the same polished silver as her whip. It might have been an arrow tip, except that it was lethally barbed and looked like it had been modified to chamber Dust. Pale blue glinted within it.
Cinder darkened. "Ice Dust?"
sienna: i wanna talk
sienna: with violence!
GOD ITS REAL INTERESTING CAUSE,,,,,,,,,, THERE’S A LOT HAPPENING HERE. glynda didnt Know cinder in any sense so we’ve very much been on the ‘let’s figure cinder out with glynda’ train like the whole. the rain! and the desert! etc! all very much thru the lens of glynda ‘i dont remember shit’ goodwitch! so now we have seinna who Knows Shit cause there’s so much history here and im like blease wait talk more first i want the KNOWLEDGE
[...] "Roman Torchwick is holed up in Vytal with your warehouses, and those two teens haven’t been sighted in months... But you wouldn't send them that far north, would you?”
“I wouldn’t send them anywhere you could get your claws in them.”
“The White Fang isn’t like that anymore. We don’t strong-arm children into our ranks. That girl—the snake Faunus—”
“If you say one more word about her,” Cinder said. “I’m going to do something drastic to every single person here.”
ACTUALLY TALK LESS TALK LESS LETS FIGHT RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!! AND NOT TALK!!!!!!!! A T A L L
Sienna's shoulders leveled. "This is not Hróðvitnir's White Fang anymore."
me: huh why do i recognise that name,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,
me: oh yeah!!!!!!! that bitch,
HJGDSJKHGFDS we Love a homage to a classic au and to a cinder so good that id die for her. i mean id die for this cinder too but like that was another level of Die For. anyway. back to the au at hand,
“If I didn’t know better, I might believe you," Cinder snapped, and her old scars throbbed in tandem. “But I do know better. I found one of your parasites, sucking the life out of a town near the wastes. Bringing the White Fang’s protection. You should have seen how he protected them. There wasn't a child there without a fang or an antler missing."
hang on a sec, lets LEAP BACK in time for just a moment
okay so i nipped back to chapter five for just a hot second to see if there was a line that was particular pertinent, but also i found smthng else...
Violence collected at her twitching fingers, old scars across her body flaring with phantom pain. (Chapter 5)
“If I didn’t know better, I might believe you," Cinder snapped, and her old scars throbbed in tandem. (Chapter 20)
HM,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, man. cinder. you got real fucked up huh. ANYWAY THAT WASNT WHAT I WAS LOOKING FOR I JUST LINED THE CONTINUITY (because im jealous). what i was ACTUALLY looking for was THIS:
There would be another overseer, the inhabitants would resume their harried lives, and Cinder wouldn’t spare this town a second thought.
i said at the time in an emotional fit of pain that this was a straight-up lie but cinder is nothing if not a melting pot of emotional reckoning, and I WAS RIGHT. LET IT BE INSCRIBED UNTO THE STONES!!!! SHE DID SPARE IT A SECOND THOUGHT!!!!!!!! HELD IN HER MIND LONG ENOUGH TO RECALL THE DETAILS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JUST 2 SPIT IT IN SIENNA’S FACE!!!!!!!!! im telling you that cinder has SO MUCH MORE GOING ON!!!!!!!!!!! and heres my PROOF. PROOF OF WHY SHES AN ANGEL (ONLY ON TUESDAYS THOUGH [10AM-1PM])!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Then: "Why don't you say," Sienna responded slowly, her expression slotting into place like a bullet chambering, "precisely what you mean, Cinder."
"Fuck you."
:’3c
cinder has such a way with words. i love her eloquence. remember that time glynda thought she was taking the piss out of the fact she was autistic at dinner? cinder yr a maestro. never change.
“You brought Beowolves to heel. You could turn a Goliath with a word!"
“I had—no—Aura! Nothing to protect me!”
:eyes: :thinking:
HM,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, INTERESTING??????? i feel like this is the first time we’ve heard of cinder w/o aura implicitly? unless im Stupit and dont remember a Got Dang Thing but HUH. does this. hm. huh. am i stupid. someone tell me if i missed a thing.
“This isn’t a diplomatic mission, Cinder. I simply wanted to know what their lives were worth to you—before we wipe our hands of each other for good.”
“That’s a funny way of saying only one of us is walking away from this.”
GOD,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, i LOVE this scene a lot the interplay between sienna and cinder is absolutely PEAK,,,,,,,, PEAQUE,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,, im rly enjoying this. also im dying. but im enjoy it a LOT.
“The White Fang you and I grew up in doesn't exist anymore. We’re changing. But you… When did you stop caring? Was it when you cut your horns to be one of them instead?"
Dragonfire scorched Cinder's lungs, blackening every word: "I was never—your—people."
feels like its been a good goddamn whilst since i got to do one of these 👈😎👈, so let’s savour the moment
👈👈👈👈👈👈😎👈👈👈👈👈👈
aaaaaand savoured. lets continue.
Shaking with the effort of holding her strike, Sienna grit, "I won't relish this."
And Cinder howled, "I will!”
ah shit i shouldve said lets RELISH this to tie the whole theme together and-- and fuck it, combat scene. never good at liveblogging these. sdfjhgsdfghj
Gunfire sparked against her, but she honed in on him with single-minded intent, the kind she’d whetted to a razor’s edge against Glynda.
for a chapter following cinder escaping glynda, she’s thought about her TWICE now. huh. huh. interesting. gay. and interesting,,,,,,
It was nothing like fighting Glynda. This was bleak and repetitive: the second drove forward and Sienna covered his openings, stopping Cinder before she could rip his heart from his chest, and all the while, the gunfire whittled away at her Aura. It was a joyless tactic, no flair or heart, and yet—
HUH. GAY AND INTERESTING!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! NO FLAIR OR HEART,,,,,,,,,, i cant believe every time they fought cinder was actually just doing a shit job of flirting. the more you know.
The world erupted into flames. They grew massive, swirling around her like a hurricane—Cinder’s Aura exploded outward in desperation, like a dying star defiantly spending the last of itself on a supernova; one final flare, brighter than entire galaxies, if only for a single moment. Cinder felt flashes of bright pain through her muscles as if the fire was burning her from inside.
MAN,,,,,,,,,,,,, I COULD TALK ABT SOME UH,,,,,,,,,,,,, well. i could talk abt a few things here. but theyre kinda 👈😎👈 so i WONT,,,,,,,,,,,,,, but kno that i am having some Thoughts on the matter. hm.
“Prove it!” Death was thrumming in her veins. It had never made her brave before. It did now, the memory of Glynda’s blind, resolute stare heady in her skull. “Come and prove it! Do it, or I’ll hunt you to your last, miserable breath, Sienna!”
so remember when glynda had her little outburst at winter and i said that i love how cinder rubbed off on glynda in the worst way? i cant believe glynda ALSO rubbed off on cinder ALSO in the WORST WAY!!!! this is how u know this truly is a soulmates thing.
“It’s a shame you outgrew your swords, Cinder Fall. I would have taken them as a trophy,”
it’s with great disappointment that i must say: i agree with adam. the swords were hot. they should come back.
Sienna’s footsteps were whispers at Cinder’s back. The trap was closing. Cinder pooled flame in one palm. The other hand was useless, limp at her side. Impotent rage tasted like blood in her mouth. “I don’t even remember your fucking name.”
HJGKDSFKJHGFSDJDHGF GOD IM SORRY BUT THIS MADE ME LAUGH. WHAT A LINE. WHAT A LINE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! i may actually have to draw this scene that image is SO wonderful. just cinder, staggering, exhausted, and she still manages to just spit that out. im screaming. shes a champion. i think she won this battle literally just there pack it up her burns come in more flavours than one.
Beneath Cinder, Hati turned, scanning for an escape, but she didn’t drop Sienna’s gaze. Wiping the sweat from her brow, she said, “I’m told I’m something of a menace.”
firstly: AAAAAAAAA HATI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! BABY BOY OH NO THATS NO GOOD BAD TIMES AWFUL FEELS MY GUY!!!!!!!!!!!! secondly: CINDER THESE ZINGERS ARE UNREAL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! JESUS CHRIST. I KNEW YOU LIED WHEN YOU DIDNT HAVE A SPEECH HOW MUCH MATERIAL HAVE YOU GOT IN THERE?????????
OH MY GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
WAIT WHAT HANG ON
WHAT
WAIT
W H AT
okay wait hold on lets dial back i read ahead and dint live blog wait rthereghsdfgjhdffd HOLD ON
Cinder buried her face in Hati’s mane, hating them, hating, hating, hating. Black ichor clotted in Hati’s fur, tacky against her palms. Grimm didn’t have Auras to protect them, and exit wounds riddled Hati’s mighty body. Cinder’s heart lurched with fury. She could have screamed.
i read this bit and got STRESSED because hati is PEAK like hati didnt even fucking SHOW UP in og but i LOVE HIM and i knew shit would happen because its fucking offal hunt BUT
It should have been impossible at this distance, but Cinder could feel her gaze like traded blows, even nestled among the black of Hati’s pelt.
Sienna’s eyes shone like coins. They were cool, detached. Prepared.
She twisted her wrist and the whip flickered through the air in tight wheels. Its end glittered pale blue.
UH OH
Adrenaline cooled to permafrost in Cinder’s body, as though the Dust had already found its home between her ribs.
Cinder whispered, “Don’t.”
UH OH
Expressionless, Sienna gave a wide lash, and the jagged end of her whip released with a click. Silver sliced through the air, then through feathers and fur, with a sickening sound—wet and meaty as the arrowhead dagger buried itself deep into flesh. Hati’s whole body shuddered and Cinder only had a moment more before ice exploded from his ribs, ripping out through his pelt, even slicing into Cinder’s own skin. It speared him from deep inside, where the cartridge had sunk, impaling everything and rending him asunder.
JESUS
JESUS CHRIST
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
JESUS CHRIST WHAT A VISCERAL DEATH SCENE HOLY SHIT OH MY GOD OH NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! O H N O T H A T S A N O G O O D V E R Y B A D T I M E
Cinder’s stomach jumped into her throat, and she held on tight to Hati, her bastion, her sanctuary, her family—held on tight like it would make any difference at all—like she could hold her family together with just her own two hands.
Hati dissolved right between her fingertips, and she plummeted alone.
like she could hold her family together with just her own two hands
OUGH what the FUCK
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA HEY THIS. HEY THIS SUCKED HEY THIS WAS A BAD CHAPTER WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS HATI!!!!!!!!!!!!!! THAT WAS MY BOY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! WHAT THE FUCK!!!!!!!!!!!! GO TO HELL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
EXCUSE ME????????? WHAT THE HELL WAS THAT?????????? HELLO??????????? WHAT THE FUCK????????? SIENNA???????? BITCH?????????? GO TO H E L L
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
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I still have all our convos thru text & messanger, i didnt even realize til now or even existence of the still there photo we took together on our 1st date lookin like 2 hot messes lol. Ive done the math correctly this time lol & actually looking at the calendar its another stab to the chest...3 and a half months under the same roof, but almost 6 months together in full...im telling u, it wasn't enough time 😔😭 makes me wanna slit my own throat.😫What the actual fuck!!!🤢🤮
he said this to me earlier this yr 20 days after I moved in.
"To answer your post on Facebook Some change is not bad leaving your comfort zone to better your self is not change it's the right thing to do for your body your mind controls. I've left my comfort zone behind and making changes that impact all around me if you can't see the work I'm putting to make you a better person that your missing the point why we are together to better each other I won't stop trying to make you a better person because I feel some type of way I don't feel about anyone else"
Isn't that what we do everyday, to be better versions of ourselves. We most definitely have changed for the better over time this yr, small amounts at a time...u cannot rush these things or force change onto another.. Though it starts with you for your own betterment, You can't make someone else change or be better if they're a bit stubborn to change little things that may be upsetting, but you can surely help them through it. One has to step into the shoes of the other & realize something isn't right...but how do u help or approach someone struggling with a problem..& bring them out of the darkness, being there for them, a simple hug or cuddle, compromises, a safe space to talk things out...taking action to help them heal is all thats needed. As I reflect on everything we've said to eachother.. I know he cares about me or loves me too at the very least..even if he can't bring himself to ever admit, I know its within and has been apparent many times. He may think he's not good enough for me, or I for him due to my own issues...but everyone has them, it doesn't mean your weak. If one is in a state of weakness the other is there to help them up & assure them that their stronger than they give themselves credit for. And the purpose of going through things good or bad together, learning what to do & what not to do..its all a normal part of the experience..it brings you personal growth & even bring u closer as you go, work out your issuse & become stronger together. When u love someone, u love them with all their scars & wounds, broken or damaged..& would do anything to bring them comfort & pick them up when they're down. This is how I feel toward him. Though I wasnt given alot of support myself, being next to him & holding his hand was all the support I needed most the time, he was my rock as much as I was for him. I was too wrapped up in my own problems to notice he had any of his own..though he hid them well so I had no clue. If u want to be better do it for yourself & it would reflect on those around you. And when you're with someone, you do it together with strength & determination to see it though til u make it through. Im strong without him but still so weak without my rock to guide me. With him I was free but still stuck in my own poisonous prison, it wasn't meant to be his burden too, & his onto mine respectfully. He was stuck within his own walls just as much. We both didn't know how to come out of our individual depressed stinks, incapable of giving we needed, we weren't equipped with the right tools necessary to lift eachother & lost sight of what was important..we quit bettering ourselves & got worse..stuck under 1 roof without much to do..our own personal cell....and not doing anything to help the other, we didn't know how. If I knew then what I know now, it wouldn't have been that way 100%. After a few months there was less trust & eventually we both got scared of what we thought of the other til it got under our skin & I could sense him pulling away. All we needed was to be heard, cared for...and genuinely loved. We were the best of friends the whole way through nevertheless, but we lost eachother in the end, heartbreak hotel ever since. My heart has been putting back the pieces but still burns for his 2,000 miles away. I feel we didn't experience a whole lot..& the story was & still is far from over. I cant help but feel this way, I just can't stop it...its not easy at all to let go of him when he's the missing piece. Its so fucking hard when ur heart is tethered to someone elses. And it hurts so much that I wanna die. But I cant give up, cause if I did he may too. Im lost without him. But even if he's not here beside me, even if I need his warm embrace to tell me im safe from the storm, ill continue to better myself..for my own growth, & for him. I promise this
We lost the battle, but we didn't lose the war. Keep fighting my King of darkness with all your heart & your Queen of light will do the same. I hope to God one day we find eachother on the front lines when the dust settles
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you always save me let me save you
title: you always save me let me save you
kink square filled: bed sharing
dark square filled: ritualistic sacrifice
Heaven & Hell square filled: enochian
ship: Dean x reader
rating: 14+
tags: ritual, sacrifice, bed sharing, death, enochian branding,
summery (if applicable): its a surprise….
word count (if applicable):
created for @spnkinkbingo @spndarkbingo @heavenandhellbingo
“this is the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do, but your only job is to make sure i can’t get back inside after this goes down. i should have told you sooner but i love you Dean, i love you so much! your the only one who will understand this: but i havent seen anyone who cares so much about me since forever. your only task is to make sure i can’t do anything to hurt anyone. you have always had these words, you have always had my love, my heart. i believe & trust you to do the right thing. all my love, Y/N.”
this was the right thing, you place the note on your nightstand, taking your hand held, back pack & quietly walking out of the bedroom, out of the bunker carrying your shoes.
Y/N: “i hope he forgives me… but i’ll save his life if its the last thing i ever do.”
you got to the garage placing your shoes on your feet you got into the impala, and moved forward with your plan.
your initial plan included:
· taking the impala
· making your way as far from the bunker as possible
· briniging supplies, everything you need for the ritual…
this ritual in particular was gonna help you with your plan to stop Michael and put him in his place once and for all.
things that are required for this ritual are as follows:
· oil blessed by a priest
· the blood of the one whose life by the evil threatened
· blood of the person whose body to take in the entity
· matches to ignite the oil
· a chant to envoke the spell to switch Dean’s role with yours…
· then sharing a bed with Dean, not necessarily having sex but just being in the same bed as him is what will or should finish the spell anyway…
sharing a bed with Dean, that would only happen if Dean understood your note and only if he got to you in time. of course this was the hardest task you had ever take on in your life.
this had to be done, this had to be done to save Dean’s life… to save the life of the man you loved.
of course you hadnt told dean of your feelings, but something inside you never ever feared that anything might tear you away from Dean, not before you even got the chance to tell him of your feelings, got to have your first kiss, to be with the one person who made you feel like you were worth something…
you kept driving thoughts swirling round in your head… everything that you had done, hunting & doing what you could to save the world, you werent gonna let your legacy be a bunch of heroics not without the most amazing heroic of self-sacrifice…
this of course would be achieved thru the ritualistic sacrifice you would be performing in the small motel room you would soon be checking into…
you drove for another several hours… you even picked up small momentos to leave in the impala… your phone at that moment started blowing up with worried texts and calls… ALL FROM DEAN!
you finally stopped the impala in the nearest motel parking lot just as another call was coming through…
you finally answered it:
YN: “Dean.”
all you could hear for a few moments was heavy breathing…
Dean: “i’m freaking out… where are you? tell me so cas can send me there?”
YN: “i’m in Wyoming at a small motel… the ritual has to be done in a place full of extreme amounts of power.”
Dean: “there is only one motel that i know of in Wyoming. what’s your room #?”
YN: “i havent checked in yet… i am sitting in the impala in the parking lot.”
the line went dead as it no longer was just you in the impala, Dean appeared beside you.
Dean: “hey.”
It was enough to send you over the deep end.
YN: “i’m so sorry, i shouldn’t have taken off like that. i mean lets be honest it was stupid…”
Dean: “lets check in first, then continue this conversation.”
Dean made his way out of the impala, he went to the motel office, checking you guys in & smiling as he walked back to the impala.
Dean: “come on lets go…”
Dean grabs the bags & comes to your door… he stretched his hand to you, you took it, you knew it felt right…
YN: “thank you. Dean you always come after me… you always save me… Please this time let me save you…”
Dean: “you shouldn’t have to take this burden, please we can find another way…”
you & Dean entered the room, the flooding concern on your face.
Dean settled in pretty fast, but you locked the door, starting to lay out everything for the ritual. your concern at that moment was on how Dean was gonna react when he would find out, that he would soon think you were dead.
Dean: “whats the 2 viles of blood for?”
the answer for that was easy, but you werent sure what was gonna come out of your mouth.
YN: “Dean, one vile is yours… one is mine… they are needed for the rite of transference…”
Dean: “rite of transference, YN that sounds dangerous.”
YN: “once i do this next part we can try to relax… look Dean i know your not 100% okay with this, but its gonna be alot better if we just let this go the way i have always planned…”
Dean: “how long have you been planning this?”
YN: “couple months…”
Dean: “but that would mean you have been planning this ritual since we found out that i’m the michael sword…”
you nod laying out the chant & preparing yourself for this ritual, this new step in your journey…
YN: “dean look when i founnd out about you being the Michael Sword, your safety became my instant concern… take a seat, im about to get this part over with…”
you stayed seated where you are, and Dean decided to just sit on the bed… you were now ready to do the ritual. it went something like this…
· you pour the blood viles both in front of and opposite you.
· keep your breathing consistant.
· lay out the circle of blessed oil
then you begin the chant…
“Quaeso ut mihi vera Michahel archangelus sententia vadum take vas, quo veniat in translatione ritus, verum modo est vas iis erat ritus transitus fiat effective Dean Wintoniam ad me statim!”
(roughly translated: I envoke the archangel Michael thou shall take me as thine true vessal, I invoke the rite of transference, I now transfer rite of true vessel from Dean Winchester to me effective immediately)
now came the hard part, waiting for Michael to come down & kill you to complete the ritual. the sacrifice was a necessary part to complete the ritual.
Dean: “now what? nice latin pronounciation by the way…”
YN: “thanks. now we wait…”
Dean comes and helps you get off of the floor. your hands linger within his for a while. Dean is the one that pulls away but his stare lingers at your own gaze as well.
Dean: “well how bout we lay down and wait?”
YN: “we could also turn on the TV… maybe…”
but before you could finish your sentence you froze, you were so scared… but instead of finishing your sentencee something else came out…
YN: “im in love with you!!!”
Dean: “your what?”
YN: “im in love with you Dean Winchester!”
Dean’s reaction was immediate… Dean came up to you, cupped your face & kissed you.
at that moment it was easy, your only concern is how messed up this has made you feel. kissing dean is one thing, but he probably wouldnt want to kiss you if he knew you were lying…
you guys fell back on the bed, but there wasnt anything holding you back except for the fact that in the morning you would be dead, while the sacrificial timer sets everything in place.
Dean pulls back and moves a piece of hair from your face.
Dean: “we don’t have to do anything tonight, that your not comfortable with.”
you had to think hard about this, but you knew it wouldn’t be right to have sex while lying to the love of your life…
Dean un-wrapped his arms from you slightly, his gaze never for a second leaving yours.
Dean: “how bout sharing my bed with me tonight???”
YN: “i would like to do tyhat but can i please wear one of your muscle shirts please?”
Dean gets up &went to his bag grabbing out his black muscle shirt and handing it to you as he is smiling helping you off the bed.
Dean: “get changed beautiful…”
you took the shirt & happily skipped to the bathroom. it was a happy moment.. although you physically were happy, emotionally you were about 5 sections from being okay… you were about to probably die in your sleep, but also on top of that you were still lying to the love of your life…
finishing putting on the shirt, you exit the bathroom to find Dean but a few steps from the bathroom door. Dean was just standing there probably checking hs messages. you silently placed the clothes on the ground and silently lept at him, his muscles tensed beneath you, but at you knocked him flat on the bed and you landed beside him standing the power went out.
NOW IT WAS BATTLE ROYALE!
if you thought Dean was scary on a hunt, he was even more scary when playing a game of cat and mouse in the dark in a small confined motel room. you got worried when your eyes adjusted to the darkness and didnt see Dean in yur direct line of sight.
You slowly crept out of the nook you were crouched in. you took a lok around the room. it wasnt till you got into the bathroom that you took one look, turning to the door and about to walk out when you felt something behind you almost stalking you.
you walked a few more steps and wasnt surprised when strong arms surrounded you from behind and pulled yu down onto the bed, pinning you flat on your back.
Dean: “nice try sweetheart…”
YN: “what makes you think i didnt win already… i got what i wanted… i finally have confirmation that you love me too… now are we gonna lay down proper and cuddle till we fall asleep or are you gonna just hold me down till this unexpected power outage passes.”
Dean got off of you for 2 seconds going round flicking every light switch he knew you guys had turned on, while you backed up on the bed, into more of a reasonable position.
Dean: “how would you prefer we rock tonight?”
YN: “i’d just prefer you hold me and we just cuddle and relax. my senses are kinda haywire. is that okay with you?”
Dean crawls in beside you and holds his arms out for you, which you enter willingly feeling Dean place a kiss to your forhead.
Dean: “as long as your not going anywhere i’m okay with whatever you want to do.”
YN: “you know Dean i was thinking about this on my drive here, i didnt know that you would actualy come after me i didnt realize that you coming after me was gonna change my outlook on my supposed future. i’m sorry i ran off, im sorry i did this ritual, im sorry that i wanted to be the one to save your ass instead of you saving mine.”
Dean pulled your chin to look at him.
Dean: “i understand why you did all that and more so i am not mad at all because had you not run off with leaving a note, i wouldnt have known about this you could have been seriously hurt or worse. i wasnt gonna loose the one thing that makes me keep living. i dont mind if once in a while you save my life as long as you never ever decide to do something stupid again.”
YN: “no promises hunters make stupid decisions every single day. i recall you making a few of those stupid decisions.”
Dean: “okay missy, we dont talk about those times alright. now shut up and kiss me. let our kisses flood this night with passion. till sleep overtakes.”
your lips met Deans in a ferverous passion, the energy from that overtook you both, nothing crazy happened per to a discussion you both had earlier but eventually you both were cuddled and asleep.
Michael dropped in silently, he witnessed the sight of you in the arms of Dean while this sight displeased him it also had the potential to make his vessel to be stronger than not.
Michael stood in the pentagram on the floor where you did the ritual and held his hand out toward you.
“"Mea ad tempus, et tempus tuam, hoc est, quam operatur in me Michael Brand tibi signum a angelis, in II huius signum est quod aliis in vita euacuabit te perdere illos qui quaeris tibi. Michael iam non accipit verba vestra. Consummatum est!“
(roughly translated: its my time, its your time, this is how it works I Michael Brand you with the mark of the angels, this mark is on 2 others in your life this will ward you from those who will seek to destroy you. I Michael now accept your terms. It is finished!)
Michael with one wave of his hand and a few glances left as quickly as he had come in. before long it was dawn breaking through the window. Castiel had been standing out near the impala having sensed Michael in the area near you and Dean wanted to make sure nothing went wrong.
it wasnt till Dean woke and started panicing shouting Cas’ name that made life all too real. for Cas appeared in the room to see Dean holding your lifeless form.
Cas: “she did it didnt she… she did the rite of transference…”
Dean: “what do you know about what has happened to her?”
Cas: “Dean i need you to calm down before i explain because once i do i’m not sure it will be me you are angry at…”
Dean had to take a few moments to breathe deeply before nodding at cas to continue speaking.
Cas: “the rite of transferance although proven effective in transferring power from one to another its not without cost. the price of this rite was that YN had to kinda die while the spell set, in the same way when you died by hellhound all those years back to set you on the path of the angels and being the Michael sword she has to be set on the path in a similar way. there is only one way to bring her back but its tricky and ONLY YOU CAN DO IT.”
Dean: “what do i need to do.”
Cas snapped his fingers and teleported both your body and Dean to the door in between Heaven and Hell. where souls wander till they are shown where they are to go.
Dean: “where are we?”
Cas: “the door to the plain between Heaven and Hell, where souls of the newly dead wander till they are shown where to go. this is where YN should be, this is where you need to go in order to find her and bring her back to this door. bring her to the door and kiss her before you enter back through it both of you should return to your bodies.”
Dean looked at Cas when he finished his last sentance.
Dean: “should what do you mean should?”
Cas: “i mean things could go horribly wrong. this plain of existence is meant to show the person what life/future they could have had. kinda like a pre-way into their judgement day.”
there was one thing that crossed dean’s mind instantly.
Dean: “what will happen to me when i enter into this plain.?.”
Cas: “well you will basically not see your judgement day thing you will see a bunch of people standing around probably talking to themselves but if all goes well the only one who should be able to see you is YN. once you find her you both need to get back to the door. the door is the safe zone. where she will gain a physical form and you can kiss her sending her too her body and you can walk back out the door. its as easy as that.”
Dean: “ok how will i know when its time to go through the door…”
Cas shrugged…
Cas: “you will have this urging feeling you will have this inkling, this nudging feeling inside your gut.”
Dean waited a few moments making sure that his handheld was ready before feeling something suddenly jump inside him. he took it as his cue to approach and go through the door.
Cas: “good luck Dean i hope you both return intact.”
Dean nods and reaches to open the door, which succeeds and he steps through. he doesnt notice the door close behind him, instead is focusing on his footing and not bumping into anything or more importantly anyone.
keeping his handheld close he made his way through the path seeing many people on many benders, but the one he was looking for was not around. he then came across a sign post, a sign post which happened to have a map on it, of where every single person who resided there currently was placed.
after few moments of reading name after name he came across yours. Dean ran in the direction of the map which he had used your phone to take a photo of. upon arriving at your sight he happened to see you crouched in the corner surrounded by what he could only percieve as her greatest fears.
Dean just stood there and watched as the same fear played out a million times over. the fear that was tormenting you was the day Dean died, the day he was mauled by a hellhound, you had been rescued a month before that day.
on that day, you were so angry and upset but the weird thing was that you shattered the windows and cracked the floor and walls with your voice. Sam later had found out that you were able to do that cause you havee a sirens voice pattern.
your only greatest fear was that you would somehow be controlled by something bad. that explained so much to Dean, that explained why you were so cautious and paranoid.
Dean now seeing that entire fear played out happened to make him just clear his throat, he watched your tear/fear filled eyes slowly move to look at him. You got up off the ground and ran straight at the person who has made your life better than expected.
YN: “how are you here? wait are you here cause your… please tell me your not…”
Dean: “no im not i was told to come after you, your under the remnants of a sleeping curse of sorts. come with me and we can go back home together. Cas will also examine you for damages and right now we need to get out of here, this is the roadway too judgement day.”
YN: “i didnt know id end up here while the spell takes effect but i guess thats what happened. anyway lets go… get out of here and see if Michael Branded me.”
Dean and you run hand in hand back up the path, towards the door, Dean and you stop at the door.
Dean: “ok cas said i have to kiss you right here sending you back to your body, then i have to walk through the door. but hun listen to me if i get bck through that door and something goes wrong again, i swear we will figure out a way for you not to go to hell, to not be tethered to Michael, so i don’t have to loose you. now lets send you back and find out if Michael Branded you.”
Dean at that moment leaned in to kiss you, a spark of light energy flowed out of your kiss. you began to fade, you began to go back to your own body. to which Dean didnt back off or open the door till you were fully gone.
Dean then opens the door and breathes a huge intake of air, like he was coming to life once again. at that moment you wake up in your own body, your eyes adjusting to the surroundings, but your eyes landed on the forms of Cas & Dean which made you get off the ground.
Dean: “i’m glad your back. when i woke up and you didnt, it scared the living hell out of me. what was i supposed to do… why didnt you tell me about this ritual? bout you dying to set it in place?”
YN: “cause i couldnt do that to you, cause it was my burden to bare…”
Cas: “im afraid that when Michael paid you a visit last night, he branded you with enochian markings. invisible to humans but visible to angels.”
Dean: “where are these markings?”
Cas grabs a piece of tree bark off a tree and places the bark over you where your ribs would be, for which Cas waves his hand over the bark making kind of an xray image appear on the Bark. Cas then turns the Bark around to face you, you and Dean just stared at it.
Cas: “its enochian... Michael branded YN’’s ribs with enochian warding, meaning that only me and Michael can find YN no other angel or demon can.”
Dean: “well this will be something of a rare thing... this will also be something to behold. this means she is safe. this means she will be a badass secret weapon.”
Cas: “exactly... now lets get out of here before we loose anyone else.”
with that you, Dean and Cas all went back to the bunker. this was now the time to pick your next move.
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hunty movie 1
sooo ruth and i watched the first hxh movie holla
me as soon as we’re done w/the yorknew arc: OH FUCKY ITS ANIME MOVIE TIME
i love anime movies. theyre so often Entertaining As Hell, and also Not Very Good. its a very fun intersection
overall this movie slots pretty easily into that category. it was a good time but nothing revolutionary. which is ok! and that makes sense bc its not canon apparently
this movie was basically the ‘killua and kurapika have Trauma(tm)’ movie lmao
we open w/killua having a trauma dream abt illumi, rehashing the stuff we saw in the hunter exam arc....we see this a few more times in the movie, and it really drives home how killua is still rlly scared of illumi and kinda just goes into a dissociative trauma state whenever illumi is around (even fake doll illumi or dream illumi, in this movie). poor kid :( :(
regrettably tho ruth and i agree that illumis outfit in this movie was pretty sexy
ok that whole beginning part where kurapikas eyes get stolen happens SO fast hvbfhdjshfsk its like ok guess thats the status quo for this movie!
jesus poor kurapika. they cant catch a fuckgin break huh
also that kid was totally the kid that was alluded to by kurapika at the end of the yorknew arc...so i guess that was included in the anime as a setup for this movie?
also apparently that stuff was based off of a short story thing the author did a while ago which is p cool
leorios terrible drawing skills is hvhbjsdfbsdfngsjkdf
also leorio is so tender w/kurapika hhhhhhh im gonna die. im gonna gay die
and gon and killua are just. tiny soulmate boyfriends ok
ah yes i see the obligatory movie original character who befriends the protag
it kinda cracks me up how hostile killua is to retz like vhbhskhdfbaj i get that its bc of Trauma and his fear of betrayal/betraying but it also reads as killua being a Jealous Gay which is kinda hilarious
ruth and i when hisoka shows up: [prolonged annoyed groaning and dismayed yelling]
hisoka literally just shows up to sow chaos and throw around information to stir shit up huh
of COURSE the villain is the former 4th spider thats like. easy choice lmao
it might just be the fansubs but i feel like there were strong implications that hisoka and 4th spider guy fucked bhjdfashfdjnakn
the most unbelievable thing abt this whole thing is that hisoka didnt kill that doll guy lmao
ohhh shit its uvo
OHHH SHIT NOBUNGA AND MACHI....its so bad but i really like the troupe members and when they show up im like !!!!!!!
machi is so cooooool
aughhhh its like....i feel bad for nobunga for having to face down uvo like this....and THEN when pakunoda shows up too :( and nobunga tells her doll ‘rest in peace now’ or something when he cuts her down....oof. but also like theyre evil murderers so im!?! conflicted?!?!
also the shadow beast guys that uvo killed showing up and then proceeding to do LITERALLY NOTHING was kinda hilarious
and damn so technically the troupe is on the same side as the main crew, what with all of them wanting to wreck omokages shit
also omokage looks like sephiroth lmaoooo
ill be honest i barely know what sephiroth looks like but ruth said this and i felt in my bones that its true
ok i gotta talk abt the kurapika backstory stuff bc OUUGHGHGHGHGH my fucking UWUS BITCH!!!!
seeing a bunch of kurta was sad....and seeing baby-er kurapika OUGH and also pairo is sooo cute and him and kurapikas friendship is so pure
kurapika is so different :( theyre like, so much more innocent and excitable....thats so damn sad bro wtf
pairo pulling some slick moves swapping that little potion thing - all while using his blindness as a cover - was so good...no wonder he and kurapika get along so well
also gotta say its even more brutal that one of the main reasons kurapika didnt get Big Murdered w/the rest of the kurta is bc pairo pulled this stunt - if he hadnt, kurapika wouldve failed the test and never would have left
also kurapika saying theyre gonna find someone who can help w/pairos eyes ;_; the similarities w/leorios backstory/motivation makes me die
and seriously im still caught up at how innocent and pure kp is oooof ough
tho still defs the kurapika we know....theyve seemingly always had a temper, what with the reaction to the dudes in the market
like, kurapika did NOT hold back...even after finding out that they were just part of the test! tho i do get it bc they insulted pairo...kurapika’s love for their friends/stalwart need to defend their friends is clearly a big thing
also the market people’s reaction to seeing kp’s red eyes is rlly interesting to me...are the kurta like, known to anybody? or are they more of a vaguely talked-about group that like, ‘probably exists’? or is it that people know abt them but not the red eyes thing? it seems like these people, if any, would know, bc this market is seemingly a day’s travel from where the kurta live....i want more kurta lore bro!!
i big love pairo helping kurapika cheat like that....such an interesting twist, and makes it obvious that theirs is a friendship of equals
anyways i loved that flashback stuff and it just drives home how absolutely fucked up and horribly sad kurapikas whole existence is, especially in this movie w/pairo’s doll being used against them
n e ways back to the non flashback stuff
i love that gon’s super nose returned for this movie omg
im just auhghghghgh gon and killua know each other so well uwu....
aaaand illumi (well, doll illumi) is back to fuck shit up for poor killua
ugh it still gets me how clearly terrified of illumi killua is...we dont really see him act like this any other time :( and the fact that doll-illumi was able to scare killua enough to get him to run away and leave gon behind (albeit briefly) was oof
gon jumping in front of killua and getting his eyes stolen instead....baby boyyyy oughhh
also can i just say thank fuck they didnt replace illumis eyes w/gons bc THAT wouldve been some serious nightmare fuel lmao
cant believe killua then ran away again and walked emo-ly on the train tracks
and THEN he saw a train coming and was like oh well :( guess ill die :/ JESUS KID
but gon w/his Big Sniff Powers comes to the rescue!!
it was so cute how gon told killua that killua didnt run and abandon him - they were working together to fight :’) gon understands killua so well
i love how the squad then squads up to fight omokage...with half of them being blind lmao
and in the half that isnt blind is leorio, who STILL doesnt know nen, and literally brings a knife to a nen fight
i totally saw the whole ‘retz is a doll and her older brother is omokage, and retz actually died a while ago’ thing coming lol but still, not bad
all omokage does is talk abt the beauty of his dolls or w/e like ENOUGH bro
kurapika fighting pairo and killua fighting illumi (AGAIN) was all so fucked up they shouldve switched opponents for less trauma oof
and poor leorio is literally no help vhhvdijfhjbashkj he just gets throw around this whole time
kurapikas fight against pairo was sad bc it was such a fucked up situation...kp did gr8 tho, i liked them saying that this isnt the real pairo, cause pairo would never say/do these things. still and extremely sucky situation to be in!
meanwhile its the gon and killua vs doll-illumi rematch...and this illumi is like, a version of illumi drawn from killuas mind/heart (or something idk, it was kinda glossed over which i understand), which means that hes extra scary and focused on telling killua how much hes just a mindless killing machine who cant have friends
but luckily we have gon here to help snap killua out of his trauma haze, which certaintly wasnt the case at the hunter exam - so it was kinda nice to see how things went w/gon around :’) they work so well together oughhhhh....and they love each other so much broo gay preteen love real
hisoka just fuckgin materializing in the house place to help sow more chaos....unbelievable
me: i bet hisoka wont want to fight doll chrollo bc its not The Same as real chrollo
ruth: no i think he will bc hes a whore
hisoka: [fights doll chrollo]
me: oh shit u right
kurapika: ok omogake its time for you to FUCKING DIE-
and then killua stops them and says that he’ll do it, be he doesnt want kurapika to kill anymore :( :( :( bro im sooo fucking sad. killua rlly b out here thinking that hes already too far gone to matter when it comes to murder, but he doesnt want his friends to end up like that, so he might as well take on that burden, because whats one more person’s death on his hands? (EVEN THO HE SAID HE DIDNT WANT TO KILL ANY MORE...but theres exceptions when it comes to saving your friend’s souls and whatnot) :( :( AUGHHH
but luckily retz comes THRU with some good ole fratricide
killua: [takes notes]
the fact that the phantom troupe just fuckgin shows up and is like oh hey its you guys. this casual enemy stuff kills me lmao i love it
then they just fuckgin LEAVE and theyre like welllll we cant rlly fight u bc of chrollo’s state so by i guess. its NOT On Sight but someday it will be! YOU TOO HISOKA DONT THINK WE FUCKIGN FORGOT ABOUT YOU.
dramatic house burning! and rip retz, saw that one comin tho
when they all went thru and said their life goals and then killua was like shit i dont have a cool definitive anime goal LMAOOOO
but THEN gon said his goals should be to stay by gon’s side UHMMM???? baby gays AUGHHHHH and killua is just like lovestruck AUGHHHH
Gays Win
then they all peace out to resume the next arc lmaoooo
and then we see flashes of other characters, like the blonde girl (who ruth and i totally thought retz was, seeing thumbnails from this movie....we were like w8 hasnt that girl not been introduced yet??? lmao)
we also see some dude w/long hair and a hat who ive never seen before but ruth went OHHH ITS SCYTHE GUY!!! so i guess hes gonna b important?? lol
and then we saw chrollo....still in the same place the squad left him vbhajfdjkahsbfkdjabhsukfdj CAN HE NOT GET DOWN FROM THERE W/OUT NEN OR AN AIRSHIP??? THATS SO FUCKING FUNNYYYYYY ARE YOU KIDDING ME
general thots:
so this was very much an Anime Movie, in that they cant like, advance to plot or develop the characters much, bc its a movie. and this one is non canon
it was enjoyable but i do feel like it was much more typical shounen then hxh usually is...like, i feel like this was made by the same people who make like, the naruto movies or w/e, and w/the same sort of approach/attitude
this isnt necessarily bad - i LIKE shounen for a reason - but it was a bit noticeable bc it wasnt quite as smart as hxh is usually, and it rehashed a lot of stuff weve already seen in this show itself
but still i think it did a good job w/what it had, and it had some good angst, and everyone was very gay which is good
the art style was SLIGHTLY wack but it wasnt as bad as i thought itd be
overall a fun time like most anime movies. didnt reinvent the wheel but i had a good time. im excited for the greed island arc, and im also disproportionately excited to watch the hxh musical bc that is a thing that exists and i MUST see it asap bc that sounds like the kind of hilarious wackiness that appeals to me specifically
so thats it...later!
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you always save me let me save you
title: you always save me let me save you
kink square filled: bed sharing
dark square filled: ritualistic sacrifice
Heaven & Hell square filled: enochian
ship: Dean x reader
rating: 14+
tags: ritual, sacrifice, bed sharing, death, enochian branding,
summery (if applicable): its a surprise….
word count (if applicable):
created for @spnkinkbingo @spndarkbingo @heavenandhellbingo
spn kink bingo masterlist Dark bingo masterlist heaven and hell masterlist
“this is the hardest thing i’ve ever had to do, but your only job is to make sure i can’t get back inside after this goes down. i should have told you sooner but i love you Dean, i love you so much! your the only one who will understand this: but i havent seen anyone who cares so much about me since forever. your only task is to make sure i can’t do anything to hurt anyone. you have always had these words, you have always had my love, my heart. i believe & trust you to do the right thing. all my love, Y/N.”
this was the right thing, you place the note on your nightstand, taking your hand held, back pack & quietly walking out of the bedroom, out of the bunker carrying your shoes.
Y/N: “i hope he forgives me… but i’ll save his life if its the last thing i ever do.”
you got to the garage placing your shoes on your feet you got into the impala, and moved forward with your plan.
your initial plan included:
taking the impala
making your way as far from the bunker as possible
briniging supplies, everything you need for the ritual…
this ritual in particular was gonna help you with your plan to stop Michael and put him in his place once and for all.
things that are required for this ritual are as follows:
oil blessed by a priest
the blood of the one whose life by the evil threatened
blood of the person whose body to take in the entity
matches to ignite the oil
a chant to envoke the spell to switch Dean’s role with yours…
then sharing a bed with Dean, not necessarily having sex but just being in the same bed as him is what will or should finish the spell anyway…
sharing a bed with Dean, that would only happen if Dean understood your note and only if he got to you in time. of course this was the hardest task you had ever take on in your life.
this had to be done, this had to be done to save Dean’s life… to save the life of the man you loved.
of course you hadnt told dean of your feelings, but something inside you never ever feared that anything might tear you away from Dean, not before you even got the chance to tell him of your feelings, got to have your first kiss, to be with the one person who made you feel like you were worth something…
you kept driving thoughts swirling round in your head… everything that you had done, hunting & doing what you could to save the world, you werent gonna let your legacy be a bunch of heroics not without the most amazing heroic of self-sacrifice…
this of course would be achieved thru the ritualistic sacrifice you would be performing in the small motel room you would soon be checking into…
you drove for another several hours… you even picked up small momentos to leave in the impala… your phone at that moment started blowing up with worried texts and calls… ALL FROM DEAN!
you finally stopped the impala in the nearest motel parking lot just as another call was coming through…
you finally answered it:
YN: “Dean.”
all you could hear for a few moments was heavy breathing…
Dean: “i’m freaking out… where are you? tell me so cas can send me there?”
YN: “i’m in Wyoming at a small motel… the ritual has to be done in a place full of extreme amounts of power.”
Dean: “there is only one motel that i know of in Wyoming. what’s your room #?”
YN: “i havent checked in yet… i am sitting in the impala in the parking lot.”
the line went dead as it no longer was just you in the impala, Dean appeared beside you.
Dean: “hey.”
It was enough to send you over the deep end.
YN: “i’m so sorry, i shouldn’t have taken off like that. i mean lets be honest it was stupid…”
Dean: “lets check in first, then continue this conversation.”
Dean made his way out of the impala, he went to the motel office, checking you guys in & smiling as he walked back to the impala.
Dean: “come on lets go…”
Dean grabs the bags & comes to your door… he stretched his hand to you, you took it, you knew it felt right…
YN: “thank you. Dean you always come after me… you always save me… Please this time let me save you…”
Dean: “you shouldn’t have to take this burden, please we can find another way…”
you & Dean entered the room, the flooding concern on your face.
Dean settled in pretty fast, but you locked the door, starting to lay out everything for the ritual. your concern at that moment was on how Dean was gonna react when he would find out, that he would soon think you were dead.
Dean: “whats the 2 viles of blood for?”
the answer for that was easy, but you werent sure what was gonna come out of your mouth.
YN: “Dean, one vile is yours… one is mine… they are needed for the rite of transference…”
Dean: “rite of transference, YN that sounds dangerous.”
YN: “once i do this next part we can try to relax… look Dean i know your not 100% okay with this, but its gonna be alot better if we just let this go the way i have always planned…”
Dean: “how long have you been planning this?”
YN: “couple months…”
Dean: “but that would mean you have been planning this ritual since we found out that i’m the michael sword…”
you nod laying out the chant & preparing yourself for this ritual, this new step in your journey…
YN: “dean look when i founnd out about you being the Michael Sword, your safety became my instant concern… take a seat, im about to get this part over with…”
you stayed seated where you are, and Dean decided to just sit on the bed… you were now ready to do the ritual. it went something like this…
you pour the blood viles both in front of and opposite you.
keep your breathing consistant.
lay out the circle of blessed oil
then you begin the chant…
“Quaeso ut mihi vera Michahel archangelus sententia vadum take vas, quo veniat in translatione ritus, verum modo est vas iis erat ritus transitus fiat effective Dean Wintoniam ad me statim!”
(roughly translated: I envoke the archangel Michael thou shall take me as thine true vessal, I invoke the rite of transference, I now transfer rite of true vessel from Dean Winchester to me effective immediately)
now came the hard part, waiting for Michael to come down & kill you to complete the ritual. the sacrifice was a necessary part to complete the ritual.
Dean: “now what? nice latin pronounciation by the way…”
YN: “thanks. now we wait…”
Dean comes and helps you get off of the floor. your hands linger within his for a while. Dean is the one that pulls away but his stare lingers at your own gaze as well.
Dean: “well how bout we lay down and wait?”
YN: “we could also turn on the TV… maybe…”
but before you could finish your sentence you froze, you were so scared… but instead of finishing your sentencee something else came out…
YN: “im in love with you!!!”
Dean: “your what?”
YN: “im in love with you Dean Winchester!”
Dean’s reaction was immediate… Dean came up to you, cupped your face & kissed you.
at that moment it was easy, your only concern is how messed up this has made you feel. kissing dean is one thing, but he probably wouldnt want to kiss you if he knew you were lying…
you guys fell back on the bed, but there wasnt anything holding you back except for the fact that in the morning you would be dead, while the sacrificial timer sets everything in place.
Dean pulls back and moves a piece of hair from your face.
Dean: “we don’t have to do anything tonight, that your not comfortable with.”
you had to think hard about this, but you knew it wouldn’t be right to have sex while lying to the love of your life…
Dean un-wrapped his arms from you slightly, his gaze never for a second leaving yours.
Dean: “how bout sharing my bed with me tonight???”
YN: “i would like to do tyhat but can i please wear one of your muscle shirts please?”
Dean gets up &went to his bag grabbing out his black muscle shirt and handing it to you as he is smiling helping you off the bed.
Dean: “get changed beautiful…”
you took the shirt & happily skipped to the bathroom. it was a happy moment.. although you physically were happy, emotionally you were about 5 sections from being okay… you were about to probably die in your sleep, but also on top of that you were still lying to the love of your life…
finishing putting on the shirt, you exit the bathroom to find Dean but a few steps from the bathroom door. Dean was just standing there probably checking hs messages. you silently placed the clothes on the ground and silently lept at him, his muscles tensed beneath you, but at you knocked him flat on the bed and you landed beside him standing the power went out.
NOW IT WAS BATTLE ROYALE!
if you thought Dean was scary on a hunt, he was even more scary when playing a game of cat and mouse in the dark in a small confined motel room. you got worried when your eyes adjusted to the darkness and didnt see Dean in yur direct line of sight.
You slowly crept out of the nook you were crouched in. you took a lok around the room. it wasnt till you got into the bathroom that you took one look, turning to the door and about to walk out when you felt something behind you almost stalking you.
you walked a few more steps and wasnt surprised when strong arms surrounded you from behind and pulled yu down onto the bed, pinning you flat on your back.
Dean: “nice try sweetheart…”
YN: “what makes you think i didnt win already… i got what i wanted… i finally have confirmation that you love me too… now are we gonna lay down proper and cuddle till we fall asleep or are you gonna just hold me down till this unexpected power outage passes.”
Dean got off of you for 2 seconds going round flicking every light switch he knew you guys had turned on, while you backed up on the bed, into more of a reasonable position.
Dean: “how would you prefer we rock tonight?”
YN: “i’d just prefer you hold me and we just cuddle and relax. my senses are kinda haywire. is that okay with you?”
Dean crawls in beside you and holds his arms out for you, which you enter willingly feeling Dean place a kiss to your forhead.
Dean: “as long as your not going anywhere i’m okay with whatever you want to do.”
YN: “you know Dean i was thinking about this on my drive here, i didnt know that you would actualy come after me i didnt realize that you coming after me was gonna change my outlook on my supposed future. i’m sorry i ran off, im sorry i did this ritual, im sorry that i wanted to be the one to save your ass instead of you saving mine.”
Dean pulled your chin to look at him.
Dean: “i understand why you did all that and more so i am not mad at all because had you not run off with leaving a note, i wouldnt have known about this you could have been seriously hurt or worse. i wasnt gonna loose the one thing that makes me keep living. i dont mind if once in a while you save my life as long as you never ever decide to do something stupid again.”
YN: “no promises hunters make stupid decisions every single day. i recall you making a few of those stupid decisions.”
Dean: “okay missy, we dont talk about those times alright. now shut up and kiss me. let our kisses flood this night with passion. till sleep overtakes.”
your lips met Deans in a ferverous passion, the energy from that overtook you both, nothing crazy happened per to a discussion you both had earlier but eventually you both were cuddled and asleep.
Michael dropped in silently, he witnessed the sight of you in the arms of Dean while this sight displeased him it also had the potential to make his vessel to be stronger than not.
Michael stood in the pentagram on the floor where you did the ritual and held his hand out toward you.
“"Mea ad tempus, et tempus tuam, hoc est, quam operatur in me Michael Brand tibi signum a angelis, in II huius signum est quod aliis in vita euacuabit te perdere illos qui quaeris tibi. Michael iam non accipit verba vestra. Consummatum est!“
(roughly translated: its my time, its your time, this is how it works I Michael Brand you with the mark of the angels, this mark is on 2 others in your life this will ward you from those who will seek to destroy you. I Michael now accept your terms. It is finished!)
Michael with one wave of his hand and a few glances left as quickly as he had come in. before long it was dawn breaking through the window. Castiel had been standing out near the impala having sensed Michael in the area near you and Dean wanted to make sure nothing went wrong.
it wasnt till Dean woke and started panicing shouting Cas’ name that made life all too real. for Cas appeared in the room to see Dean holding your lifeless form.
Cas: “she did it didnt she… she did the rite of transference…”
Dean: “what do you know about what has happened to her?”
Cas: “Dean i need you to calm down before i explain because once i do i’m not sure it will be me you are angry at…”
Dean had to take a few moments to breathe deeply before nodding at cas to continue speaking.
Cas: “the rite of transferance although proven effective in transferring power from one to another its not without cost. the price of this rite was that YN had to kinda die while the spell set, in the same way when you died by hellhound all those years back to set you on the path of the angels and being the Michael sword she has to be set on the path in a similar way. there is only one way to bring her back but its tricky and ONLY YOU CAN DO IT.”
Dean: “what do i need to do.”
Cas snapped his fingers and teleported both your body and Dean to the door in between Heaven and Hell. where souls wander till they are shown where they are to go.
Dean: “where are we?”
Cas: “the door to the plain between Heaven and Hell, where souls of the newly dead wander till they are shown where to go. this is where YN should be, this is where you need to go in order to find her and bring her back to this door. bring her to the door and kiss her before you enter back through it both of you should return to your bodies.”
Dean looked at Cas when he finished his last sentance.
Dean: “should what do you mean should?”
Cas: “i mean things could go horribly wrong. this plain of existence is meant to show the person what life/future they could have had. kinda like a pre-way into their judgement day.”
there was one thing that crossed dean’s mind instantly.
Dean: “what will happen to me when i enter into this plain.?.”
Cas: “well you will basically not see your judgement day thing you will see a bunch of people standing around probably talking to themselves but if all goes well the only one who should be able to see you is YN. once you find her you both need to get back to the door. the door is the safe zone. where she will gain a physical form and you can kiss her sending her too her body and you can walk back out the door. its as easy as that.”
Dean: “ok how will i know when its time to go through the door…”
Cas shrugged…
Cas: “you will have this urging feeling you will have this inkling, this nudging feeling inside your gut.”
Dean waited a few moments making sure that his handheld was ready before feeling something suddenly jump inside him. he took it as his cue to approach and go through the door.
Cas: “good luck Dean i hope you both return intact.”
Dean nods and reaches to open the door, which succeeds and he steps through. he doesnt notice the door close behind him, instead is focusing on his footing and not bumping into anything or more importantly anyone.
keeping his handheld close he made his way through the path seeing many people on many benders, but the one he was looking for was not around. he then came across a sign post, a sign post which happened to have a map on it, of where every single person who resided there currently was placed.
after few moments of reading name after name he came across yours. Dean ran in the direction of the map which he had used your phone to take a photo of. upon arriving at your sight he happened to see you crouched in the corner surrounded by what he could only percieve as her greatest fears.
Dean just stood there and watched as the same fear played out a million times over. the fear that was tormenting you was the day Dean died, the day he was mauled by a hellhound, you had been rescued a month before that day.
on that day, you were so angry and upset but the weird thing was that you shattered the windows and cracked the floor and walls with your voice. Sam later had found out that you were able to do that cause you havee a sirens voice pattern.
your only greatest fear was that you would somehow be controlled by something bad. that explained so much to Dean, that explained why you were so cautious and paranoid.
Dean now seeing that entire fear played out happened to make him just clear his throat, he watched your tear/fear filled eyes slowly move to look at him. You got up off the ground and ran straight at the person who has made your life better than expected.
YN: “how are you here? wait are you here cause your… please tell me your not…”
Dean: “no im not i was told to come after you, your under the remnants of a sleeping curse of sorts. come with me and we can go back home together. Cas will also examine you for damages and right now we need to get out of here, this is the roadway too judgement day.”
YN: “i didnt know id end up here while the spell takes effect but i guess thats what happened. anyway lets go… get out of here and see if Michael Branded me.”
Dean and you run hand in hand back up the path, towards the door, Dean and you stop at the door.
Dean: “ok cas said i have to kiss you right here sending you back to your body, then i have to walk through the door. but hun listen to me if i get bck through that door and something goes wrong again, i swear we will figure out a way for you not to go to hell, to not be tethered to Michael, so i don’t have to loose you. now lets send you back and find out if Michael Branded you.”
Dean at that moment leaned in to kiss you, a spark of light energy flowed out of your kiss. you began to fade, you began to go back to your own body. to which Dean didnt back off or open the door till you were fully gone.
Dean then opens the door and breathes a huge intake of air, like he was coming to life once again. at that moment you wake up in your own body, your eyes adjusting to the surroundings, but your eyes landed on the forms of Cas & Dean which made you get off the ground.
Dean: “i’m glad your back. when i woke up and you didnt, it scared the living hell out of me. what was i supposed to do… why didnt you tell me about this ritual? bout you dying to set it in place?”
YN: “cause i couldnt do that to you, cause it was my burden to bare…”
Cas: “im afraid that when Michael paid you a visit last night, he branded you with enochian markings. invisible to humans but visible to angels.”
Dean: “where are these markings?”
Cas grabs a piece of tree bark off a tree and places the bark over you where your ribs would be, for which Cas waves his hand over the bark making kind of an xray image appear on the Bark. Cas then turns the Bark around to face you, you and Dean just stared at it.
Cas: “its enochian... Michael branded YN’’s ribs with enochian warding, meaning that only me and Michael can find YN no other angel or demon can.”
Dean: “well this will be something of a rare thing... this will also be something to behold. this means she is safe. this means she will be a badass secret weapon.”
Cas: “exactly... now lets get out of here before we loose anyone else.”
with that you, Dean and Cas all went back to the bunker. this was now the time to pick your next move.
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there’s not a lot I can say about s3 that hasn’t already been said (and articulated 200x better) but! here are some of my (albeit dumb) thoughts :~)
ep1
-isak leaning against the bathroom wall gets me EVERY time its such a powerful scene esp introducing you to s3 and tarjei..... spare some talent for the rest of us please
-LiTeN gUtTeN fRa StRaNgEr tHiNgS
-isak rly ties his pants w a shoelace......
-isak noticing even for the first time bc of his laugh.. whew.... also. i love this intro SOOO much bc its so non-monumental? theres no dramatic music or whatever but its not subtle.... like you know right away o shit love interest!! hello sir!! bc isak’s expression watching him :’) i could go on
-isak is a bad liar HOWEVER this only applies to stupid nontrivial things e.g. the black sweatshirt. but when you look at him lying about like, his sexuality, he hides that shit well
-”c00l” isak. i hate u so much
-honestly all u have to do is look at even for .2 seconds and u can tell this boy has had a crush for a solid month bc he just looks awestruck (HOWEVER henrik’s acting is *chef’s kiss* bc its subtle enough to go undetected b4 you actually know eVEN SAW HIM ON THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOL)
-even isak and emma all sitting on the bench together is funny enough on its on but then a song called threeway comes on and like. julie sdshjsfdjfkjskd
ep2
-there’s something so endearing about even’s handwriting idek what
-i LOVE even’s video w mikael it reveals so much about him to us- how weird (ok we saw how weird he was w the paper towel thing but) and dorky he is? and his love of film! his view on love stories and how he sees the world :( but it also shows a lot abt isak because he saw even making stupid jokes about vladimir putin and was like yeah we about to fall in LOVE love
-isak not using headphones to watch even’s video or r+j?? bde or general incompetence what’s the verdict guys
-the isak watching r+j scene hits so hard like yall ever think about isak lying in bed at 3am staring at the ceiling probably thinking about how he’s never gonna get a beautiful world-shattering romance like that like ..... also him changing positions skam get out of my life go away ur too realistic
-not to make this even more self-projection-y but isak simultaneously being the least emotionally vulnerable person ever but crying during r+j >
-i made a post abt this already but even’s INTENSE staring vs isak’s “i have never looked anyone in the eye in my life” gets me it says so much about their characters
-even said i see your bde move (asking me to buy you beer) and i raise u with my own (inviting you to my house after faking not having my id)
-”if you listen to music” even is such a dick fsdjhsdff
-when the message comes on...... i rlly do owe julie my life huh
-”have you heard about my rapping?” “I have actually” have we talked about this enough????? 1. isak finally feels comfortable enough w even to flirt and his first move is to RAP for him jesus christ. keep in mind this is the same man who pulled that smooth af ibuprofen line w emma like...... 2. even has heard about isak’s rapping. either this means im-not-on-social-media even went out of his way to go thru homeboy’s instagram OR isak’s rapping is actually talked about. i-
-the group chat messages. cant believe i forgot about the 2016 clown epidemic
ep3
-mahdi is a good friend and i love him. thank u
-even wearing isak’s cap until he chucks it at him sjksfjsdjsd
-how much yall wanna bet isak’s been listening to illmatic on repeat since last friday thinking abt even (even tho meeting sonja shattered his heart a lil) [also kinda an aside but i think a lot about how isak n even bonded over rap and how some homophobic lyrics in 90s etc rap might have impacted them? or how that little detail ties into julie’s story? e.g. halftime by nas, which is on illmatic]
-whats worse. even staring into isaks soul wearing a size xs see-through white t shirt or isak staring at even for five (5) seconds before chugging his beer and immediately making out w emma. OR even crashing that party before it can start “i think you guys are bonding too much” cheesy ass shjhfsdhskdf
-yall act like evak didnt invent hands. did even shaking isak’s shoulder telling him his apartment is nice mean nothing to u
-im convinced robyn wrote call your girlfriend for this scene specifically bc how could anything fit so perfectly by coincidence
-is anything better than egging isak on- even bech naesheim (2016)
-idk if yall have read the scripts but i love the sock thing so much bc its soo true to how isak thinks and it makes everything so much more interesting and !!!
ep4
-i will never get over even sending isak bad seinfeld memes
-even smacking open isak’s locker. first of all whew second of all u think as soon as he got into the stairwell he lowkey cried bc ow
-parallel of isak saying “it’s 2016, why are you religious?” to sana vs. emma’s “it’s 2016, get out of the closet” to isak anyone :(
-”takk sanasol!!!!” thank u isak for my life
-I wanted to be with you aloneeeee
-even’s face when he sees the pool like we get it youre a director
-how many times do i need to say even is such a dick sjkfsd “does it look like i care about my hair?” “usually but not right now” like this would only work on isak i love soulmates!!
-even just.. fully choking isak out ssdhgfd got em
-when the first notes of im kissing you start ooh boy
-even going in for the kill kiss and isak going from huh to oooo shit and pushing his lips out at the last minute. phenomenal
ep5
-ngl as soon as im not in love comes on my heart goes uwu bc like!!!! that song the meaNING.... them......... i jus love this scene sm like theyre in their own little bubble and they both feel so comfortable and at peace :((
-even leaving isak comics about an inside joke of theirs like yall mind if i scream
-isak feeling left out from the conversation and his friends whew i felt that... and having them talk about how gross it is to makeout with a girl w facial hair?? blease :(
-taking stock of isak’s nicknames: issy k, isabell, izzy, baby jesus,
-im not even gonna bother trying to articulate thoughts on Pause bc it’s a literal masterpiece. thank u tarjei henrik and julie for inventing television with this one
-MAGNUS SDFKJSDFJKDSHK "oooh my name is Jonas and I love idealism and reading klassekampen and I don’t like plastic and I skate on a skateboard made of sustainable wood and wear old clothes because new clothes are bad for the environment and I only drink recycled water” screAMMM
-what i said abt pause also applies to pride ugh its such a powerful scene and!! the beginning of kicks to isaks stomach. honestly what i fucking love about this episode is how it goes from hell yea best day w even ever to crying in the street within one week (s3 had the best balance of angst and payoff thanks)
-even’s Soft Party Flannel... forever tainted by this scene rip
-not knowing why even kissed sonja keeps me up at night
-speaking of. how used and stupid isak must’ve felt when he saw even completely unbothered, hooking up w his ex at this party?? whew :(
-bros is one of my all time favourite clips solely bc of the music?? lift me up gives me chills and when hold my liquor starts i LOSE it
-ep5 and 6 remind me of that quote “to see what your characters are really made of you have to break them” because julie rlly goes all in and god it hurts so good
ep6
-never have i ever seen insomnia portrayed as accurately as tarjei did here and i remember when i first watched the cantina scene i was like. winded bc its SO true to sleep deprivation whew
-i really like that isak wasnt together with even when he reached out for help and came out to jonas. bc it was him, on his own, being strong enough to talk to his friends and then eventually he was confident and secure enough in himself to be in a good place when even started reaching back out!!
-i have no idea what its like to come out to someone, to be afraid of your friends rejecting you, everything isak went through. but tarjei’s acting of when, like, you have something you KNOW you have to tell someone, and youve put yourself in the position where youre going to have to tell them, but youre terrified and eventually just force yourself SAY the words??
-and isak’s smile when he realizes jonas is gonna be his bro no matter what :’)))
ep7
-weirdly one of my favourite isak looks (black t-shirt grey snapback c-c-c-combo)
-”what’s your name again?” have i mentioned i love sana and isak bc i love sana and isak
-jonas truly is the best friend oh man. perceptive, thoughtful, loving, laidback, a friggen BRO. tbh i was wary of him in s1 and thought he didn’t treat eva well (tho I recognized he loved her a lot, he was just bad at being a boyfriend) but jonas in s3?? just goes to show how powerful your perspective of someone can change viewing them in a different role!! because while jonas was a crappy bf, he literally is SUCH an incredible friend and his actions and words and just! him! in s3 completely redeemed any illwill I had towards him :’)
-maybe im a little gay (up there with other s3 comedy classics such as “thats a boys name”)
-mahdi season WHEN ugh a legend
-’when someone asks isak if hes going to a family party’ literally what other reason for living do i have if not to read the boy squad text convos
-isaks locker finally opening and his smile at evens drawing whewwwwwww!! also even rlly is that guy who wont text you back but will leave hand written love letters in ur locker
-also. another stellar look from valtersen
-slutt a meld meg is a whole masterpiece like what other piece of media has the RANGE
-eskild: play hard to get. jonas: no smiley!!! isak: nah fam im good B)
ep8
-this episode is BEAUTIFUL bc you feel practically euphoric?? like hell yeah theyre finally together!! isak is out and accepted and even is done with sonja! but theres also this unsettling undercurrent of worry bc you know deep down something isnt right? why is sonja calling isak? why is even acting kinda strange? whats going on? yknow??
-literally never going to get over 5 fine frokner :~) even is such a goddamn nerd and he’s the man of isak’s dreams can u believe!!
-sana’s little speech is SO important in so many ways ooo i love her so much
-also have we discussed eskild making evak do a photoshoot for him. highkey those are my favourite pictures of ALL time u can tell even was like hm strange but im down while isak was more omg guys stop🙄 omg haha eskild i cant believe youre making me cuddle with even for a photo🙄 i cant believe ur making me snuggle this dude for a pic!!!! definitely would not have done this otherwise!!!
-magnus only realizing it’s THAT even after seeing how isak looks at him. whew
-isak is so brave i rlly love that kid! his text to his mamma <3
-no r*make will EVER nail text conversations like mari/julie did w evak’s this week thanks for coming to my ted talk. i'd quote the best ones but it would literally double the length of this post (ok ill cave. “hahaha shut up❤️” GETS me)
-you dont know whats in store but you know what youre here for. hallo
-isak running around oslo with even’s clothes looking for him :( his heart is so big he cares about even so so much
-when Part II (on the run) comes on in the credits its like a kick in the teeth honestly
ep9
-ive already screamed enough about cherry wine but god it fucks me up
-cannot put into words how much I love eskild and how good of a person he is, he just has so much love in his heart
-”wait they have waffles here? see ya”
-this convo is why i love skam so much!!!! magnus giving insight and good thoughtful advice to isak was such a brilliant move by julie (also truLy heartwarming) bc like. magnus is a flawed layered character! he’s dumb and ignorant and not very careful with his words BUT hes also such a sweet guy. i genuinely dont think he would hurt a fly and him talking about vilde (in ep10) is ;-; bc he really likes her and respects her and wants to be a gentleman! hes so loving and just. yeah. also i wonder if isak and magnus (and vilde) ever talked about having mentally ill parents and lent on each other for support bc like....<3 [sidenote- this is why i HATE b***** like they absolutely massacred magnus’s character and magnus did not deserve that!]
-det er bare slutt........ very cool of tarjei to invent acting here. also the character development makes me WEEP like at first isak lied and told his pappa it was over bc its easier to brush stuff off and say you were joking than be vulnerable especially about 1. having a boyfriend and 2. saying youve already broken up?? but then isak was like hey im done with lying about who i am bc i want my life to be REAL and he told his dad the truth even if it was hard and even if he was trying rlly hard not to cry
-isak reaching out to even<3 standing up for even<3
-o helga natt. another scene i genuinely cannot comment on bc u cant really put into any written language how magical and breathtaking and heartbreaking and powerful and brilliant this scene is. so.
-jk. obvs i cant say anything intelligent enough to give this scene justice but probably the most stunning piece of television i have ever had the privilege of watching. even’s text breaks my heart every gd time (esp since we never really see this side of him before finding out he’s bipolar? his guilt, insecurity, feeling like a burden, being scared of losing everyone in his life because he thinks he’ll hurt them). the music is SO beautiful i cry real tears as soon as the strings start. also the brilliance of JUST o helga natt playing and no dialogue except for isaks one line? isak’s realization when he sees the cross. him RUNNING across oslo to go to even. the FLASHBACKS all going backwards in chronological order until them smoking on the bench. isak looking at the bench and not seeing even and u can feel his heart breaking and urs breaks too! but then he remembers the bathroom and he turns and theres even and whewwww. du er ikke alene<3
ep10
-minutt for minutt is THE most healing clip im telling u. and like.. seeing even depressed really is hard and as someone who was very very depressed for 4-ish yrs of their life it rlly hits me? like when youre in an especially bad funk and you cant get out of bed and youre just numb and exhausted and feel so shitty and u want to be alone but you really dont???? could go on but literally i owe henrik holm my life for his portrayal of even
-not to be a soft bitch on main but when isak tucks the blanket over even and it keeps getting pulled off his back so isak just. covers that spot with himself?
-i do love that call between sonja and isak bc once again! a flawed (realistic) human being
-and isak thinking its his fault even is depressed? it means a lot that sonja told him its no ones fault, even is just bipolar. and i wonder if isak felt that way about his mamma as well, guilty for her being ill, and if what sonja said made him feel better about that situation too :(
-lowkey random but when isak is rambling really fast and he goes “maybe we’ll get bombed tomorrow and talking about all this is a waste of time” it continually punches me in the throat bc that is /exactly/ how i ramble and think like tarjei........ pls
-like eskild said. there really is so much love in isak’s little grumpy teenage body<3
-isak no longer just passively accepting life as its given to him, now he fights for him and even!!!!!
-isak is such a forgiving person and seeing him able to just accept things and move on? incredible
-i remember when i first watched ep1 i was like oooo even and isak are gonna be kosegruppa partners and thats when theyll first get together, cooking food or smth!! but lmfao after episode 3? kosegruppa whomst???? also hilarious vilde thought isak of all people would willingly sign up for kosegruppa just to go to revue parties
-even and linn friendship!!!!
-cannot articulate how mf heartwarming it is to see even smiling and being more himself after being depressed (also thank u julie for having ups and downs coming out of his depression- its so true to life having one day when youre feeling awesome and then the next you feel awful again for no reason and its SO frustrating)
-I had to stop watching passe pa meg cause it made me toooooo crazy! it would just be like: “I like seeing you laugh” and I was like: *SCREAMS*
-im the fucking master of lying 😤
-literally don’t know why isak and even ragging on kosegruppa is so funny but “did you think I joined to have fun” gets me every time
-I SAW YOU THE FIRST DAY OF SCHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOL
-also even literally radiating love @ isak watching get snarky w vilde on the phone bc it reminded him of the first time he saw him! even rly is that boyfriend who thinks isak being pissy is the Best Thing he has Ever seen
-halla boiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiz
-literally the glo up of isak telling his friends the order in which he’d bang them
-No filter! wow I love symbolism
-so nice to see the girls together for a lil bit :)
-the boys hyping up mags while also telling him to be respectful awwwwww
-take desperate to a whole new level- Confucius
-who’s going to show isak how to properly hold a beer can
-literally evak banter gets me thru the day. thank u tarjei and henrik for having phenomenal chemistry + improvisation skills + making isak and even the dumbest nerdiest boys i have ever seen
-biology partner. and friend. ;-;
-even literally is the biggest stoner blease
-isak’s talk with eva is just sooooo<3 and not to be emo on main but every single word of the last few sentences he says hit me so gd hard because i feel the exact same way in my BONES
-livet er nå 💛
final thoughts :( <3
-this season is so special. it feels like one really long oscar-worthy movie or smth?? i cant even exblain, its just magical. ALSO very dear to my heart.
-julie really said you guys have seen isak sad and alone and repressed for the past two seasons so heres him falling in love with the best person in the world and coming to terms with who he is and being brave and opening up and finally being happy and living a real life
-this season definitely feels different from s1/2/4 to me editing or production or music smth wise? as in, its got a lot fewer aesthetic shots and the cinematography seems a bit different if that makes any sense???? I also think this is the season most focused just on the main (i.e. not many- if any? sideplots going on)
-literally will never get over the thought, love, and detail put into this season. when i say there is literally nothing i would change about it, i mean it and coming from my nitpicky ass??? means a lot lmfao. the acting, directing, music choices, symbolism...... sublime
-s3′s cold rainy autumn aesthetic makes me ACHE for fall and also nostalgic for a highschool experience I never had lmao?? also. all the nighttime clips >>>
-don’t know what else to say except thank u skam for my life
#take a shot every time i say whew#fully put more effort and time into this than most of my uni projects xx#its super rambly but thats bc its mostly just my direct stream of thought#also super long! and probably still missing things i wanted to say#AND like 3 weeks late fshfjjkdjkfsd#skam#clownfest 2019#blabbey
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Hey hook I’m sending you a prompt NaruHina 51. 😊💕
51. “Where am I going? Crazy. Wanna come?”
Hinata’s open bedroom window cast a light square shadow down on the lower ceiling of the patio as she sat down on the wide window ledge, gazing wistfully out into the dark night before opening the book for her latest english assignment - Frankenstein. It was an okay book, not something she would have chosen herself. Senior year of High School had beaten any idea of choosing litterateur herself, having to focus solely on homework and exams if she wants to keep her high grades.
Tonight’s dinner at the Hyūga house had been a stiff and awkward affair, as always. Her father held one of his speeches about dignity and honor. She had heard it hundreds of times. Not as often as the one about hard work and endurance, but often enough to know it by heart. It always came with the disapproving comments about grades and attitudes, making Hinata feel like whatever she felt she accomplished that day was worthless. Having straight A’s wasn’t enough by a long shot, and those friends she hung out with was definitely nothing that boosted moral, according to her father.
Hinata sighed. She liked her friends, most of them full of life and laughter. They always had a good time. So what if some of them came from less prominent families or wasnt top of their class. They were kind, and they liked her. She would never throw them away because of heritage or grades. They all inspired her to be better, one especially.
“Hey!” A loud voice came thru the open window, accompanied by a head of blond hair and bright blue eyes, startling Hinata enough to let out a shrill shout and then very ungracefully fall of the windowsill.
Naruto Uzumaki was like the sun, warm and bright as he smiled down on her, hanging in thru the window.
“Oh sorry!” He said, rubbing his neck sheepishly. “Did I scare you?”
Hinata just blinked up at him, heart still racing after the startle but also because of the beautiful boy hanging in thru her window.
“N-Naruto. What are you doing here?” She asked, willing her blush down. They hanged out in school, part of the same gang, but he had never been to her house before. She had no idea how he even got up on the patio roof to reach her window, let alone how he knew which window was hers.
“Oh!” He said and jumped into her room to reach a hand out to pull her up. “I came for you of course!” He stated, smiling brightly as a small blush started dusted his cheeks. She felt her own face heat at the comment, trying to will down the now probably beet red blush. Of course he didn’t mean it like that. She was just reading to much into things. They were friends. Just friends.
“Wha-what?” She asked, unsure of what to say. Naruto smiled even brighter, still holding on to her hand as he pulled her closer to the window. On the pavement stood his orange motorcycle, slick and freshly washed.
“Just out riding.” He said, squeezing her hand. She felt her pulse pick up, casting her eyes down to try to hide the small smile she couldn’t hold back.
“Where are you going?” She asked, eyeing his black and orange sneakers on her hardwood floor. She could hardly believe it. Naruto Uzumaki, in her bedroom. This was the thing of dreams, fantasys.
“Where am I going? Crazy!” He answered, laughter lacing his voice. She couldn’t help but giggle at his joke as she looked up, bright blue eyes meeting her pale purple. “You wanna come?” He asked.
For a moment she just looked at him, trying to catch her breath. Her hearts pounding so hard she’s sure he must be able to hear it as it thumps against her ribcage.
It’s a crazy idea. She’s not allowed go out after dinner, especially on a school night. And going on a motorcycle, strictly forbidden. Being Naruto’s motorcycle would probably make it worse. Her father had always despised his upfront attitude and disrespect for authority figures. If her father finds out there’s no telling what kind of punishment she’ll get. Still, looking up into those blue eyes she can’t help but nod, helpless against the spell they always cast her under.
“I-I’m not allowed. I don’t know how-.” She starts and his smile falls, rubbing his neck with his free hand.
“You don’t have to if you don’t want to.”
Panic surges thru her, an ache pulsing thru her veins thinking about the fact that she might have disappointed him.
“No!” She said, a little to loudly. “No. I do. I want to. I just don’t know how to get down there without my father finding out.”
Naruto’s smile comes back in earnest, letting go of her hand to climb out the window. She misses his warmth instantly.
“That’s easy! I’ll catch you of course!” He said reaching his arms out for her to hold on to. She looks around the room for a second, grabbing her lilac sweater and pulling it over her head before taking his hands and crawling out the window in to the chill april night. Her bare feet shiver against the roof tiles as they walk carefully across it towards the ledge. When they reach the ledge Naruto easily grabs it and swing himself down, landing gracefully on the lawn in front of the house.
“Jump! I’ll catch you!” He mock whispers up to her as nerves of jumping of a roof surges thru her. Its insane, completely crazy. But this entire night seems to be filled with crazy. With a grounding breath she grabs the edge, like she saw him do, and pushes of. She land in a strong warm arms and he takes half a step back as their bodies collide so they don’t tumble over. A flush explodes up over her cheeks, traveling up to her ears and down her neck. Her entire body feels hot as he puts her softly down on the wet grass.
“Nice, Hyuga. Who knew you would be so good at breaking out.” He teases as he walks towards the motorbike, picking up two black helmets, handing one over to her. Hinata hasty pulls a hair tie from her wrist, wrapping her hair into a low ponytail and pull on the helmet.
By the time she’s done, Naruto has stradeled the motorcycle, looking expectantly at her. She approaches slowly, unsure how to get on it without making a fool out of herself. She can’t really see it but she can almost imagine his smiling face as he directs her.
“Put your foot on the ledge there and then swing the other leg over.” He explained, pointing to a small black ledge on the cycle.
Hinata does as told, landing smoothly right behind him. Naruto straightens the bike up, leaning back.
“Hold on to me, okay?” He asked just before kick starting the engine. Her arms come up instinctively, wrapping around his waist. He leans back for a second, hand coming up to land on to of her before he leans forward and kicking the bike on to the street.
She has no idea where their going, Naruto guiding the bike thru known streets of their hometown. Hinata lets herself pull closer, breathing in his cologne. She might never have him, but for some reason she has him like this tonight.
They drive out of town into the darkness with only the stars and the bike to light their way. Trees and fields swish by as they drive deeper out into the countryside, asfalt turning to gravel underneath them. After an unknown time, they stop next to a small white house. She carefully untangles from him and pushes herself of, pulling the helmet of her head as she tries to fix her hair, pulling the hair tie of and wrapping it around her wrist again. She’s pretty sure she’s never been around this area before. The house is black, no lights coming thru the windows. The yard is beautiful, blooming apple and cherry trees covering the area. There is a white picket fence and a graveled path that leads around the house.
Naruto comes up next to her, helmet of and blond hair on end. He looks gorgeous.
“Come.” He says, softer than usual and nods towards the back of the house. The lawn opens up to a big wild field and Nature sits down on it, legs stretched out. Beside him he places a brown paper bag.
“Come sit Hime.” He says, patting the ground next to him, and a shot of warmth booms in her chest. He’s never called her that before. No one has ever called her that before. She softly sat down, cross legged. She allowed herself to sit close, not touching but only inches apart. Naruto reached over to the bag, pulling out two large cinnamon buns, handing one over to her.
“You- you brought this?” She asked, eyeing the treat with wonder. She can’t really see in the darkness but it looks like his cheeks darken as a smile booms on his lips.
“Of course. It’s your favourite isn’t it?” He said, as if its the answer to why he showed up at her window, drove her out to the middle of nowhere and handed her her favorite food.
“Thank you.” She answered instead of asking, afraid of the answer, afraid to hope.
“Hinata, do you like it here?” He asks and it feels like the question is so much bigger than her opinion on the location. So she looks around again, the lawn stretching wide and green under the old trees. The white house is small but cute, two stories with a red tile roof. The air feels fresh this far away from the city and she takes a deep breath and lets it out. It feels good. Feels free.
“I love it.” She confesses.
Naruto’s smiles even wider and her heart lunches, happiness booming in her veins.
“It’s mine you know.” He says, looking out across the field. “My parents left it to me, just found out yesterday, when I turned eighteen.”
Naruto had lost his parents in a car accident when he was little, long before they met in middle school. He had been bounced around in the foster system for years before being able to convince the authorities that he could live by himself at the tender age of fifteen. Getting something back after so many years of being lonely, wondering what if must be the bittersweetest birthday present he could have gotten. Hinata dosent really think as he reached out towards him, stopping midway as fear surges thru her again.
“I’m glad.” She said instead, biting in to the cinnamon bun. Its sweet and spicy and taste just like the one from her favorite bakery.
“Yeah. I’m really glad you like it.” Naruto says, closing the distance between their hands lacing their fingers together. Hinata’s breath hitches as he continues. “When they told me, it hurt but it felt good to. I drove out this afternoon and just walked around looking at everything. And then I just, I wanted to tell you.” He said, the stars reflecting in his eyes as he looks right in to hers.
“Me?” She asked. The question felt silly, because he just said it. But she needs to be sure, because she dosent understand. Wouldn’t he want to tell Sasuke? Or Sakura? Why her? Why Hinata?
Naruto leaned even closer, free hand coming up to cup her cheek. Her puls picks up again, heart hammering in her chest sending small fluttering pounding thru her entire body.
“I always thought I wasn’t good enough for you, because I had nothing.” Naruto started, eyes darting between her’s, hand on her cheek trembling. “And I know it’s not a mansion or a stable job or anything big like that. But it’s something. I have something now. And I’ll fight hard for all the other things, because you deserve it, you deserve it all, Hime. And if you let me, I wanna give it to you.”
Hinata’s body feels numb, like reality is collapsing on itself. This must be a dream. Nothing as sweet as this can really be true can it?
Naruto looks at her, so vulnerable and unsure as his hand continues to slightly tremble on her cheek as his thumb caress her cheekbone. How can he think he’s not enough for her? The entire idea is popostrus.
Naruto is strong, and fierce and inspire her everyday to be better, stronger, more. He’s her sun, she can’t help but orbit around him, always drawn to his warmth and joy. Let him? She will gladly give it all. The answer starts chanting in her mind before it reaches her lips and she barely realises she’s leaning in before her lip’s caress against his as the words finally spills over.
“Yes. Please yes.”
Naruto closes the minimal distance, lips closing against each others for a few seconds before she feels his mouth crack open into a huge grin. She feels her own matching smile spread thru her body, joy bursting thru until he pulls her closer again, lips slotting against each other easily.
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Permission pt. 2 {a killmonger fic}
pt. 1 / pt. 3
AN: Since your first wild adrenaline-filled meeting, you and Erik have been inseparable during your nightly dope deals. But tonight, you might discover a secret side of himself he’s been hiding when your life is threatened in a deal gone awry. Stay tuned for the sex in part 3 ❤︎
....
1:27am
1 new message
Sender: Y/N
Message: “Bout to be outside.”
Erik picks up his phone and shoots back a text. Getting out of bed, as per his new nightly routine, he changes out of his pajamas into his outside clothes. After a bit of deliberation he settles on a black T-shirt and camo pants.
He had been seeing Y/N for a month now, just going with her on her nightly drop offs. He wasn’t one to keep up attached relationships, but there was something about Y/N that made him almost forget about everything. Besides the sex and free “gas”, he liked that she didn’t ask him any heavy questions, being a dealer she wasn’t too into trading personal information. When they hooked up they just drove, talked, and smoked. It seemed effortless.
Erik had to admit to himself, he liked her energy. She was cool, confident, and she didn’t have any expectations of him. This worked perfectly for Erik, who wanted nothing more but to escape the tidal wave of feelings he had been keeping at bay about his so-called family and his legacy.
Grabbing his essentials, he heads out his apartment and walks towards a black car.
….
1:36am
1 new message
Sender: Erik
Message: “Bet”
You glance at your phone before putting your car into park in front of Erik’s place.
You didn’t want to admit how much Erik Stevens had influenced you over the past couple of weeks, but it was unmistakable. The long car rides, the impromptu hook ups, you had even slept over his place a couple of times. Not to mention he influenced you into getting that single gold cap grill you always wanted. It shined in your mouth’s top row of teeth, a little dollar sign flashing when you smiled.
Hell, it helped to have his intimidating body in your passenger seat too. Your thirsty customers used to ask to sit in the back of your car. “Just to sample what you got,” they would say. Now when they lean in to check you out, they see Erik too. You’ve lost count of the times you’ve had to stop yourself from laughing at their disappointment. Sometimes Erik grabs your thigh when you’re bagging for them, or talks to you casually. With all the creepy niggas at bay, you actually started to enjoy the night. So it’s safe to say Erik became your part-time partner in crime.
….
While you were adding songs to your tidal queue, Erik opens your door and climbs in the car.
“‘Sup E,” you say, now shifting your attention to program your first address into the GPS. Before you had even glanced over, Erik’s smell and presence wafts into the car. He always smelled like sandalwood and honey. It was a small comfort, not that you would admit it.
“Wassup sis,” he said with a smile, making fun of what your underlings call you.
“You are not allowed to call me that,” you say, returning his grin and pulling off the lot.
“Damn, okay Y/N,” he says, followed by, “Where we going?”
“Melrose, Highland, some random ass place out East.”
“Dope,” Erik says, picking up your phone to add his preferred songs to your tidal queue.
You’re cruising, rapping along to X by 21 Savage. You loved to drive and Erik didn’t mind when you zoned out. Your vibe was interrupted when Erik abruptly says, “Oh my god pull in here.”
“Pull in where?” you yell over the music.
“Girl.The In-N-Out. What you think?”
You laugh and hang a left to the In-N-Out drive thru. This boy was something else.
When you drive up to order, Erik climbs in the back seat and you pull up so he can reach the mic. Erik’s upper body hangs out the window and he strokes his beard.
Licking his lips he says, “Yeah hey Cindy. Imma get a double double with 4 slices of cheese. A chocolate shake, a root beer, and a coke. Thanks.”
You hear Cindy make a remark about his 3 drinks and Erik laughs in response.
“Nah the root beer’s for my girl,” he says smiling. As he thanks Cindy and gets back in the passenger seat, you try to wipe the smile off your own face.
When Erik dips his body back in the car, you drive around to pick up the food. You pull up, Erik pays, and the In-N-Out worker hands you a small bag with 3 drinks.
Sticking your straw in your mouth you pull out of the parking lot. After a moment you propose casually, “So I’m your girl now?“
“You tryna be my girl now?” Erik returns, mimicking your casual tone.
“Only if it comes with refills,” you say, shaking your drink. Erik laughs and writes you off.
You drive around the city making your runs while Erik destroys his In-N-Out. Striking off name after name on your list, you land on the last one. Small amount of tree, they request to meet up on the East side. An easy quick one to end the night.
….
You pull up to the street you’re supposed to meet the mystery client and park, semi incognito of course. This place was no where you’ve been before.
In fact, no one was around. No old woman hobbling home from church, no old men sitting on any porches. You lean onto your stirring wheel and hold it to your chest while you peer out the windshield.
“This… Is hella sus,” you say to Erik, who’s been absorbed in a text message.
“Huh?” Erik turns off his phone screen, “You ain’t been here?”
“Nah,” after another second of scoping the neighborhood, you start digging in your backseat.
When you sit up you toss Erik one of your emergency guns.
“Stay alert,” you say, reaching for your own gun. Before you can touch it, Erik’s head snaps up and peers out your window. He squints.
“Yo is that… Lil Pump?”
Your windows are tinted but you cant mistake that gangly white frame coming towards your car.
The figure approaching your car wore a black hoodie, black baggie pants and a black shirt. All of which would be very discreet, if he wasnt also sporting greasy multicolored dreadlocks and a lollipop face tatt.
“Fuck, it’s Rare,” you groan. What was his raggedy ass doing here?
Rare showed up on the scene a few months ago as a new dealer a couple hoods over. You had always laughed at him, you couldn’t help but find his white boy thug front amusing. Once, he actually approached you and tried to get you to work some “big deals” with him. You blew his offer off with a laugh, and ever since he’s always had something cocky to say to you.
“Who?” Erik says.
“He’s a dealer. Not too fond of me,” you roll your eyes at the thought.
Rare approaches the car with a smile, signaling for you to roll your window down. You shake your head no, but he pulls up his hoodie to reveal an AR-15 rifle strapped to his torso, something strong enough to blast through the windows if you wouldn’t comply.
“Talk about overcompensation,” you mutter as you roll down the window.
“What is this? A deal?” you spit at him.
He smiles and when he gets close enough he pulls a second gun and pressing it to your temple. He coos, “Mmm, how about a set up?” smiling to reveal a whole mouth full of rainbow grillz.
You feel Erik’s body stiffen and his energy set on fire, you shoot him a quick look you hope communicates ’don’t do anything stupid.’
“I see you brought some muscle,” he says eyeing Erik, “So did I.”
Rare gestures to his cronies, which have now fanned out around the car. They’re all armed, all have ski masks covering their faces.
“Let’s go inside and make some arrangements shall we?” Rare says, as he reaches inside your car to open your door. He pulls you out and zip ties your arms around your back. Erik is getting the same treatment by the masked goons.
For a minute you’re both facing each other, and you cant help but notice Erik’s demeanor has changed completely. While he lets himself be restrained he’s as attentive as a soldier, nothing but his scowl and his lazor focus on you denotes any emotion. You see a inferno in his eyes though, even with his calm expression Erik seems dangerous.
Before you can give Erik any nonverbal reassurance, Rare is pulling you up the steps of the house by your locked arms. When filed inside one of Rare’s men pipes up.
“Uh, what should we do with him?” referring to Erik, who seems even more pissed at the sight of you being manhandled.
“Sit him down, see if he knows anything useful,” you and Rare watch Erik be tied to a chair, “if he causes any trouble, kill him,” Rare smirks and pulls you toward one of the back rooms.
Kill?
You look at Erik one last time before the door shuts. Safe to say, your world starts shaking internally.
Shit I shouldnt have dragged him into this. He has my gun though he has my gun it’s fine we’re gonna get out of this, we’re-
Your thoughts are interrupted by Rare slamming you down in your own chair.
“Oh J,” he says, shooting you your fake name while he sits across from you. “You know why they call me Rare, right?” he grins, showing off his grimey technicolored smile.
“Nah, actually I don’t,” you say. Omitting the ‘I heard that’s what they call your dick game, medium rare’ you’d love to drop on him.
“Its because ain’t nobody can do it like me,” he says, placing his elbows on his legs to lean close to you.
“So why did you lure me here?” you tilt your head and squint at him, “If you’re so rare you wouldn’t need me.”
“I don’t need you, sweetheart. I need to know where you keep your money,” he smiles and lifts your chin with his gun.
“Seriously?” you laugh, “You out already?”
“I want to make a few investments, and I got to thinking that Imma need more.”
Before you could respond, three rapid gunshots are heard from the front of the house.
“Shit.” Erik.
All rationality goes out the window, you needed to know Erik was okay. Now.
Pushing yourself away from Rare with your feet, you headbutt his gun to the ground and run out of the room with your hands still zipped behind you.
“Eri-” you begin, but stop in your tracks to see what was unfolding in front of you.
Erik hand gotten his hands free and was round house kicking a gun out of one of the guards hands. He grabs the man and uses him as a human shield to block gunshots coming from another direction.
You notice Erik appeared roughed up, his shirt had ripped at the front. His eyes were wild and his movements were unbelievably quick. You watch in awe as he threw the man he was using as the shield at the one shooting at him. While they stumbled Erik knocks their feet from under them and they tumble to the ground.
When Erik turns to face you, you feel Rare roughly yank you back by your restraints and press his gun to your head.
“It’s up to you,” he says to Erik, “Tell me all about her little operation and maybe,” he pauses with a grin, “I won’t blow her brains out.”
You could practically hear your heartbeat blasting in your eardrums.
Ba-dump
Erik’s eyes fly between you and Rare.
Ba-dump
In one swift motion, Erik grabs Rare’s hand holding the gun and pulls it away from your head, getting behind him. You move out of Rare’s arms, right in time for him to shoot wildly in Erik’s grip.
Erik releases him and raises his leg to kick him hard in the back. Rare flies into some dusty coffee tables and you’re sure he’s going to have some broken bones to attend to.
Bodies of the masked members of Rare’s crew littered the floor, and Erik was standing over them huffing. Nostrils flared and torn shirt, he was looking more wild than you’ve ever seen him.
Erik turns away from the bodies and immediately goes behind you to begin untying your arms.
Before you can thank him, you both hear police sirens in the distance and his actions freeze momentarily. Someone must have heard the gun shots and called 911.
#black panther#black panther fic#Erik killmonger#erik killmonger x reader#erik killmonger fic#permission
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adn when miz comes in,everyone is like on guard™,, bc he seems really shady, but at first,, he seems alright,, daniel is a little shaken,, i mean miz did just suddenly leave him for shane,but daniel has a big heart+hes not fully over it, but he agrees to talk to miz over a drink and then he hears that miz is v unhappy w/ shane and regrets ever leaving him, u know typical stuff, and then miz like puts his hand on daniel,, daniel just pulling it away and telling him that hes moved on and is happy,
and then like miz liek acts confused,, and pretends like he wasnt being like that™ and just wanted to talk to him to see if he wanted to start makign music together,, and daniel is conflicted,, like hes happy w/ dean and elias,, but miz means a lot to him, and even tho miz left him,, he wants miz to be happy,, so he agrees, and the other two are NOT happy: they dont like miz,, but daniel reassures them and they let it slide,, and then miz starts getting to his old ways,,
like being stubborn+controlling and daniel is not as happy as he thought hed be and then one day it gets too much and daniel just snaps,like he just swings™ and connects square in the nose,, and then daniel feels really back,, bc its bleeding p bad,, and mike sounds in a LOT of paincue daniel feeling VERY BAD and apologising to miz when they next meet(his nose is broken: daniel is v strong y'know) and the miz realises that he was an ass, dean+elias agreeing,and realising that he was being pushy
i just want miz to realise that he was being toxic and saying sorry and i just want then to be friends okay cdnfldsjfld,, and then dean and elias are still upset w/ miz,, but he does have a broken nose,, so hes been trhough enough and like,, when daniel/dean/elias get married👀👀,, miz is daniels best man and daniel and miz are friends dkalsjflkdjlfj,, i want this so bad nmdlkadsjfkl you cannot change my mind
nvdfsnkjvnsdkjnvksdnjvnsdknkd VNDFJKSNVKJSDKVFDKSJ GOD Zach, ur Mind, it’s Powerful. I was thinking along the same lines! Miz being pushy bcus Shane is actually p terrible and has been stringing him along/being very manipulative, and Miz fell for that, so when he meets Daniel again he realizes that he’s been hurting, and latches on to Daniel who’s really the only good pair he’s had, and he accidentally repeats toxic behavior and when Daniel punches him it’s a wake-up call. He talks it thru w Daniel, goes to see a therapist, leaves the music scene for a while so that he can focus on getting better. Daniel’s supporting him for all the milestones. Dean and Elias accept his apologies and understand how bad toxicity can be. Miz cries at their wedding and can baarely get thru his best man speech w/o choking up on how cool his best friend is
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Can you do small introductions on each loona member? Or i mean not all of them if u dont want ik theres like 27 of them but just little descriptions of what u think of em would be cute
a chance? to talk abt the loves of my life?
heejin: you knwo that friend who like if u fuck around during the school yr and need someone to help u out w notes and getting yourself together bc u know shes always on top of her game? thats heejin. girly is an all rounder tbh she can sing dance and as much as ppl like 2 clown her for her rapping shes really not all that bad. LIKE shes just so versatile. she showed that thru mixnine which lol i didnt watch besides cuts but if u watch her performing on there and then see her performing with loona 1/3 it’s like complete opposites but she manages to shine no matter what like it’s effortless for her. shes such a sweet girl too i really do feel like theres a reason she was picked to go first bc she has such a likeable personality. shes funny, hardworking, humble (but not to the point to where she downplays her worth), and just seems like a real ride or die type of friend
hyunjin: MY BABY i hav such a soft spot for hyunjin and it’s hard not to??? she comes across as a little quiet at first and she acts like she doesnt care but she does u know she does shes not fooling anyone idc how many times shes told yeojin 2 shut up on camera i know she’d be one of the first if not THE first girl 2 be by her side (and any members side) if some shit went down. shes such a determined little thing too and when she has her eyes on something she goes for it no thinking abt it no questions asked she just does what she wants and thats something so impressive for a girl her age to be able to do. i feel like shes the type of person to just sit in the back and watch more than participate bc she doesnt mind if the other girls take the spotlight like shes such a chill, laid-back soul. i aspire to be like her. and shes so fucking funny really it’s almost criminal how hard she makes me laugh. ALSO she has the best reactions it’s a disgrace more than anything that i dont hav a folder of just her making stupid faces
haseul: the absolute love of my life? THE jo haseul?? theres a reason shes the member i latched onto the most at the beginning and ultimately kinda the member that tied me down to loona for good. like i was onboard w them from the get but it’s her that sealed the deal. i dont joke when i say she really is their guardian angel and no matter what u think of her in the comparison to the other girls u cant deny the fact that shes born leader material. she makes the other girls feel good and at-ease yknow. like she was always around vivi in the 1/3 loona tvs and u could tell it was like 2nd nature to her being by her side as vivi navigated her way through a country and language she wasnt all too familiar with. and like w/ yves for another example like yves if all facts check out was only w/ bbc for a three week period before they debuted her so obviously she wasnt familiar with any of the girls which is why she was so awkward at first. but haseul? bless her soul she did all that she could to make her feel at home. and she has such a beautiful voice i feel like not enough ppl praise her for it. also fuck yg for making her feel bad during mixnine she deserves the world and he can suck my big toe
yeojin: miss thang miss thang. what 2 say what 2 say. first things first shes a trooper. shes a baby i mean a lot of them are babies but yeojin is an actual baby baby i almost fainted when i learned how old she is. but despite her age shes so firm yknow. when shes doing things she wants to do them right to the best of her abilities and shes always striving to be better which is so admirable bc for me personally at that age i was a goddamn mess i couldnt be doing and juggling even a third of the shit she does. and shes right next to hyunjin when it comes to making me laugh shes just so loud and full of energy even 2 the point where i get tired watching her and im loud and full of energy but her being loud and being full of energy kicks my being loud and being full of energy in the ass. if any of that made sense. but theres never a dry eye in sight when shes in the room and u can tell shes such a joy 2 be around as much shit as the other girls give her lol i just feel real protective of her bc shes just so full of life and laughter and i just want her to be out here living her best life
vivi: it needs 2 be said that i have such high respect for any kpop idol who’s from another country bc theres just so much thats going against them. miss vivi is away from home away from her comfort space away from her friends and family away from a place where she can speak proficiently and fluently bc shes struggling to learn a new language and?? on top of that shes doing all the other standard idol stuff. thats some tough shit thats some scary shit but she takes it all on with a brave face and an open mind. and being able to slowly watch her build up more confidence in the language and basically everything else has been such an honor. like when im out here on my weak shit feeling sorry for myself i gotta think 2 myself what would miss vivi do? how would miss vivi tackle this? i lov this girl honestly i would die for her she does so much and i feel like not all of it is fully appreciated but she’ll have her moment i know she will and it’ll only be a matter of time before ppl see how amazing she is
kim lip: giiiiiiiiirl. lip is such a strong person. like in all aspects. shes crazy talented it’s a little scary to think abt how much she’ll grow once they properly debut as a group and she gets more experience bc?? she just has so much going for her. her charisma is off the charts she can easily pull a crowd if her solo being a real big jumping point in spreading the loona name says anything at all. and shes such a good pick for the oec leader she definitely has those vibes like u just cant help but listen to her regardless of whatever bullshit she says and she says a lot of bullshit but do i liv by that bullshit and eat it up like shes spouting out the new testament u can bet ur ass i do. lip is definitely one of those girls that u cant help but be drawn to like u just want 2 be her bff bc once u remove her from the stage she has such girl next door vibes i feel like she’d be the type of girl u see in the club and u make small talk by the bar bc u made eye contact by accident and all of the sudden before u know it youve spent ur whole night w her and u hav her phone number and plans to meet up next week bc shes so friendly
jinsoul: i make fun of her a lot. but w good reason: shes easy 2 make fun of. shes so quirky but not in the ironic way like shes really quirky and a bit of a walking disaster but it’s charming and she makes it work. even if shes not ur fav? shes still? kinda ur fav? even if u dont know it? if i made a list of some of my fav loona moments i assure u she’d be included in about 80% of it like shes such a staple to the group i really cant imagine her not being w them i mean i cant imagine the group w/o any of them but jinsoul especially. sometimes i watch loona vids knowing good and damn well shes not gonna be in them but i still end up thinking where is jinsoul?? bc not 2 speak for everybody (i will tho) but no one can get enough jinsoul. also her voice? i love it it’s one of my favs in not only loona but kpop in general. both speaking-wise and singing-wise. it’s just so pretty i really did astral project the first time i heard sitr & love letter. true out of body experiences 10/10 would recommend the yelp reviews are in shes 100% worth It. what is the It shes worth? idk but whatever It is .. shes worth It.
choerry: i just want her 2 be my little sister wow. miss yerim really has my heart. truly the embodiment of :) . shes so smily and has such a strong energy u cant help but like her. in every loona tv shes in shes making someone laugh or smile and it’s no coinkidink it’s bc shes really just that much of a ray of sunshine and u cant help but fall for her. give her some time i pledge w my life that once they debut she is going 2 shine on variety shows theres no way she wont. she has such good sense and shes so flexible. and if lcm is anything 2 go by shes able to switch it up and kill different concepts and sounds at the drop of a hat. def one to keep ur eye on bc u just know shes gonna go far in the future theres no way she wont she has all the tools in her arsenal to make it big no problem. does she resemble the annoying orange? yes and i’ll hate kim lip forever for putting that image in my head but that wont stop her shes truly a force to be reckoned with.
yves: my baby! u didnt hear this from me but i lov her a lot. she was kinda just thrown 2 the wolves w/ her three weeks of training i can only imagine how nerve wracking it must’ve been for her. here is an army of girls bbc has as potential loona members whove been training for years/knew the other girls who were already chosen as loona members/have even gone along for the ride with the chosen loona members to film their mvs and yet shes the one who was picked to be added after three weeks of her being w the company. three weeks !!! thats a lot of pressure but despite that she gave us everything she got. she was real nervous in the beginning anyone could tell when u watched her loona tv arc but she got over it and by the time chuu’s arc rolled around she was joking around w/ the others like it was nothing. shes so funny too but in an awkward way. like she doesnt mean to be but she says and does shit that makes u ?? and u cant help but laugh. her gig with marishe? i have never seen anything funnier like that bitch really took 100+ photos all w the same face and w the same three poses if that’s not talent idk what is. and i dont think it’s been confirmed in writing yet but shes gonna be such a good leader for the eden unit i feel it in my bones
chuu: when i tell u my heart has skipped a beat over this girl. im not saying it 2 be dramatic im deadass. my heart has skipped a beat multiple times watching her whether it be a fancam or a loona tv or even a selfie. i’ve watched that little instagram update of her in her pig onesie more times than i want 2 disclose. her voice???? oh my god im in love with it. shes such a strong singer like STRONG and u can hear that in heart attack and girl’s talk and see saw but if u listen to her covers shes done before being introduced as a member it’s like !!!!! wow. and she makes a lot of noises. like just incoherent sounds and its so cute i could cry. like i dont have the attention span 2 sit and watch a vlive if it’s not subbed … but i’d do it for her just bc i love hearing her talk i love her voice on any and all levels u could love someones voice. and all her little mannerisms are adorable and this could really turn into me typing a whole mla formatted essay on how i find her 2 be one of the cutest girls in the world but i’ll spare u. and ofc shes not just cute like i said before this girl is talented and i cant wait for loona to grow as a group so she can be on bigger and bigger platforms for more and more ppl to hear her sing bc thats just how it should be
gowon: i lov her i lov her i lov her!! i’d do just about anything for this girl if she asked but i feel like regardless of who u are u wouldnt be able to refuse her even if u wanted to. i latch onto every word she says everything she says is gold. shes so giggly and a lot of that giggling is bc she probably feels awkward but it’s still real cute. shes also lowkey highkey gotta mouth on her like she’ll really come for ppls throats if she feels it’s necessary and thats beautiful to me. she doesnt get enough credit but as pretty as she is more attention should be focused on her talents bc she is a talented girl. her vocal tone is high and ‘cute’ but i think it melds so well w/ the other girls’ voices and theres a lot of opportunity there if and when they decide to create new sub-units/have more duet songs. and my girl can dance im tired of ppl overlooking her bc?? her pre-debut vids are a little stiff ye but theres so much potential there shes such a gem and i cant wait for her to grow more bc i know theres so much she could be doing w/ what she has
olivia hye: when she said love myself today let u go today? i felt that
#this was just me rambling i know theres no substance at all but here take it its all i can giv u . idk if this is what u were looking for??#U SAID SMALL INTROS IM JUST NOW REALIZING IM SRRY I HOPE THIS IS SMALL ENOUGH FOR U#also yall dont hav 2 read it but please like this i typed too much for it to flop lol
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what does my life feels like - march 25,2020
as i deal with being forced to staying in my house, it feels more and more like home. finally. a form of home. ive been attempting to build a routine, the first week this all kinda was layed down in front of me, i let myself kind of just, be. even if there was a responsibility, i let it go. i couldnt. id just take it all in and come to terms with the cards this whole world has kinda been dealt. the extra card id been dealt, the heartbreak, i let myself wallow in it and lay in my bed, eat, cry, and watch shows that i dont care about, i just didnt wanna think about what he was doing, or my life in general.
now, a week maybe more later, i went to work for a few days, it was a turning point for the dumb mindset i was in. they were pretty okay, it felt good to feel some form of my normal life, ive been working there for over a year, youve ben in my life while ive been there, and you also havent. so it feels okay. it was hard to be there but it was comfortable, but of course i couldnt help but hold back tears and shed a few. but i was quick to pull it together. i stupidly thought of how that one afternoon in June when i couldnt drive, you drove me. we spent the first half of the day together cause thats all we could have, but we wanted it, maybe 3 hours. wow. i thought of the few times you came through the drive thru, i thought of my heart beating 100 miles an hour just cause i could see your sweet little truck on the screen, we could have been together for months at this point but you just kinda made me feel like that.
ive been waking up, checking all the internet, planning my day. keep busy, work on your habits while you have all this time, is what ive been thinking. work on things youve brushed to the side. dance, i love dance, i put dance on the shelf, i put my health on the shelf. i wake up. i make my bed. always. i need to be better with that habit, its important, i make my coffee, i love it, ice. creamer, not the cinnamon bun stuff im sick of it. then keurig coffee, in a mason jar, no exceptions, check the straw and make sure theres no gross in it.
then i find some form of moving to do, the studio put out online class, ive been doing that, ive been motivated to dance for myself. its great. i eat lunch with my parents when they come home, im not strong enough yet to hang out with them at night without thinking you should be there, yet. thats next.
ive been taking a few minutes to read, mostly indys blog, i find so much of myself in her and i hope to have a story somewhat like hers. just fun. but in love. eventually. in love but far away. but then come back later. but shes cool and she reminds me that i need to see other things, ive been thinking about it, someone asked me to go see this beautiful spot in town, by the airport where you can see all the lights. to sit and tell them about what my mind is going through, its tempting, i had to cancel twice, I didn’t want to, timing was wrong. its hard that you’re not the one wanting these things, but that’s not you. You can’t be that. I know that. but i want something like that. but not now. im trying to find me and my old things. not old me, i love the crazy passionate, lame but funny girl i am right now.
someones gonna come my way one day though one day and give me like, crazy love. i know it. im gonna attract what i want with my energy. him or not. itll be cool.
ive been going for like hour long drives, on every long peaceful road i can find, i went tonight and the sky was reaalllyyy pretty. last night was pretty too. i woke up today and cried that we werent going on stage, i took for granted every sweet second i had with the little gang, theyre all so young and brought a lot of light on my dark, dark days. if showed up crying, they were there. to be so sweet. i love them. i miss them. i cried 20 minutes ago and i cant remember about what, it wasnt you though, idk what it was. im content with you. i can ignore you and want you and either is good. like we said, lets just be and hang out and be lovey if we want, but be apart. no commitment. its hard sometimes but i kinda love the rush. comfort was nice but feeling like im flying off a bridge but landing softly with you is kinda fun. it feels like were testing out the whole having fun thing and it feels cool.
but let me tell you, im fine without you, but being with THAT version of you, is heaven and its hard to not want every night.
im learning, im growing, nothing is permanent, i learned to shut down hopeful thoughts, i cant count on anything but myself and its been such a short amount of time.
i will. be unrecognizable.
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