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#but i have to figure out how to use the app??? also its sunday
failed221b-chill · 10 months
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Thursday 1 June
Fatigue sucks. But at least it's not a migraine too.
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I just. Would like to be able to do things. It sucks not being able to do things. It sucks recognising it's been over 8 months since I was doing things and even then I wasnt actually able i was just forcing myself because i hadnt recognised nor did i care how close i was to destroying myself.
I care now. I've been caring for myself for at least 6 months. Yesterday I unlocked access to the thought possibility of even being able to love myself as an achievable goal which is a huge deal!!!!!!
But owww and ughhh and I want to sleep but I don't want to sleep, and I want to do things but I don't want to do things?!
Finally had someone professional look at my shoulder injury - community pharmacist. He suggested I go private physio for a proper assessment but he doesn't think it's doing damage or needs an xray or anything other than the exercises I'm already doing + time to heal, and it's probs my body overcompensating from the massive movement of 3 ribs for 2 days and now things are painful for weeks and it's just going to be really slow to recover.
So that's partially reassuring and partially reliant on the same things I've got elsewhere of "if youre not screaming in pain it cant be that bad" but i also like... can't do anything with that arm, can't cook, cant go back to my place and whatever nightmare the builders have turned the kitchen there into while ive been gone, can barely type, can't get comfy to go to sleep, can't be independent. Can just about manage the easiest physio exercises for the minimum reps and sets the app suggests before mild discomfort turns into can't do anything for rest of day bc agony.
And yknow. Fatigue is being a bitch that won't let me do longer than 5mins of walking without getting so tired i have to spent the rest of the day horizontal and with no brain thinking capacity. And i had mega pots flare up yesterday and my legs felt awful and i had to lie down with them up in the air most of the time and drink water and eat salty snacks and meals and it still didnt stop and today im so stupid breathless and cold and tired and fed up!!!!
Just been on hold to check my referral with rheumatology is still on system as they havent contacted me in 2months, was caller number 1 the entire time i was on hold and then suddenly it went to voicemail and we'll call you back. You didnt the first time thats why i was calling!!!
Ughhhh im too tired for navigating this shit. I gotta call gp tomorrow and get an extension on my fit note bc there is no way im fit to work like this and my current one expires on sunday and i just. I am such a slow healer at the best of times so while the physio app says i should be better and recovering well now its week 4 of my injury, its actually according to my body week 2 and ive been pushing it too much.
And i hate hate hate the whole pacing thing of if you have a good day dont do more things than you would on a bad day because then youll get an even worse few days and longer to recover afterwards?!!!! Who the fuck made it allowable that my body would need to have so much limit and restriction and stop doing activities i enjoy when i feel capable of doing them WHEN I HAVE ADHD THAT MAKES IT SO FUCKING HARD TO STOP DOING THE THINGS I WANT TO DO BECAUSE I DONT EVEN NOTICE TIME PASSING!!!!
Oh just figure out what your typical days activities energies are spent on and budget it accordingly.
Typical day????
Figure out energy????
Budget?????
Oh you can use traffic lights.
Whats a green activity???? IT CHANGES DEPENDING ON MOOD AND TIME OF DAY AND IDK POSITION OF THE FUCKIGN STARS
Whats a red activity? Try not to do them. Okay cool. No more showering ever then. Yikes. Showers make me so breathless.
Whats a yellow activity. Lying down bored or ocassionally listening to music or stories or watching tv if i can handle sitting upright.
Do those.
But they get borrrring too!!!!! I need variety!!!!!!
In basic terms:
Red activities = anything that involves standing up.
Yellow activities = anything I can do sitting down (as long as my brain is working and i dont have any other things going off... like dizzyness or sensory overload or cramps or a recovering shoulder injury that requires me to sit in certain ways and chairs that do not allow me to sit in those ways)
Green activities = lying down. Becomes boring or quickly turns into napping. Prone to mental spirals as a way of seeking entertainment in my own damn head. Or researching stuff on my phone and overloading my brain with info as a way to pass time. Can't even write my stories like this bc my brain isnt fucking working!!!! End up writing rant posts on tumblr. Oh also my eyes dont work so my phone is blurry.
So yeah. My day according to the traffic light pacing system just fuckin suckssssss
My days without them suckkkkkkk
My parents are very insensitive and unaware and just... so so slow to recognise or believe anything is wrong but at least they can do practical care of cooking for me so i dont have to worry about my evening meals and occasionally they let me watch leverage on tv downstairs.
Oh also im nauseous today.
Fuck sake!!!!!! I want to write my storiesssss!!!!!
But okay its not all doom and gloom. I managed a few short walks around shops looking for plastic straws for mum to use with her kids at school to help them learn to count and i treated myself to a popper pencil case thing today, pictured. Happy pride month to me bc it's rainbow colour!
Also tv shows are good and I do at least have my chinese learning as a proof that my brain is somewhat present even if it feels like it has deserted me and left me with a bowl of butterscotch angels delight in its place.
I'm gonna try napping now that I've got all this mess out of my head for a bit. Keep reminding myself no wonder im struggling - im being investigated for multiple chronic disorders and im still experiencing the symptoms even while i wait for the referalls and diagnoses. And im having to adapt to things and changes and restrictions and limitations have never been things i enjoyed or took well to, my motto growing up was the all things are possible there are no limits ambitious gogetter style and now there are suddenly and longterm have been so many limits and im still learning what they are and what i can and cant manage and so no wonder no wonder no wonder it's so frustrating for me.
It's okay. I'm still me. I don't exist to do things. I can still enjoy my life and make my art and love myself and interact with my loved ones and I can handle this graciously when that feels like what I want to do, and when I want to rant and scream and get out my sadness and accept that i have anger as a visiting emotion I can allow those things too because they are natural responses to my situation and its morally neutral. I just have to keep readjusting my expectations of myself and find enough pleasantness in my days to make the bad ones copable and the nice ones enjoyable and the neutral ones worth getting through.
Small joys. I bought my brother some sweets today and he wasnt expecting them and it made him happy and the last few days he's been calling me "good sister" and today he said "merry pride" to me, both of which are lovely. And me and mum went into pets at home during out very short shop walks to see the animals and that was very cute. And i saw a buzzard while we were driving to the shops.
I am so tired and my eyes have stopped focusing at all so thats the end of this extremely long entry.
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nicetrynicetry · 10 days
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Sunday is nothing. Just strategically sleeping past the rainy segment of the morning, enjoying birdsong, politely squeezing past a man watching porn and smoking a joint standing next to his motorbike outside my studio. During Ramadan, no less. I realised long ago that my studio’s placement in the yard is where you go when you’re a south Asian man to do things that other more pious south Asian men may frown upon. Things like tell your wife she’s a cunt on the phone or use drugs in the middle of the day or urinate or defecate or snack during a fast. C said yesterday “the yard is YARDING”, and he was right. I am never offered sizzurp but I know it to be sold daily. I just walk through it all in my androgynous clothing and enter my little colonial enclave to paint and consume podcasts and foam roll my legs. Over lunch I watch a video with a man promoting some 100 day “rejection therapy course”, where you willingly put yourself in one situation each day that leads to rejection. Something as simple as asking for your morning coffee to be free gently builds to something as complex as asking someone on a date. The idea, I guess, is to practice tolerating the shame that comes with being rejected on any level, until your relationship with rejection changes. It’s one of those technically beautiful ideas that is gamified and bro-coded and comes to me in YouTube form, so I laugh at it and move on quickly. I realise I don’t want any life advice or wisdom from a really muscly man. There is something so untrustworthy about the ripped male physique. But it’s also entertaining, like the animatronics at Disney. Sometimes I think I am so addicted to the hour of YouTube Shorts I watch halfway through my work day, I may as well throw in the towel and download TikTok. Learn how to eat open a pineapple without a knife, attempt to understand the teenage psyche. Perhaps if there’s another pandemic
A calls and he has finished brunch and plans to go and play doubles with three friends. There exists an app called “Swimply” which allows people to use other people’s swimming pools and pay by the hour. A’s tennis instructor told him that the app has since moved into letting tennis courts. So, A says, he is going to play tennis at a mansion in Larchmont. He mentions his double’s partner is dating (meaning, being confused and messed around by) E. I sigh a sigh of relief that I am no longer in her position, and bristle briefly when A tells me she’s a good tennis player. All is normal. I don’t cry and I don’t withdraw, we just stare at one another and A shows me his gun nestled in its safety box. “Did you figure out how to set up the fingerprint locking system yet?”, I ask. He says he didn’t, and that he’s been using the keys. Seeing A and seeing his gun in combination always makes me laugh. He is the opposite of what you picture when you picture a gun-owner. He closes the safety box, which is technically not safe at all, and we hang up and I go to bed
On Monday I buy batteries and successfully set up the miniature Juno synth I bought the previous week. I feel like a tech genius searching my chaotic drawer of wires for the exact power cable and connectors to plug the synth into my guitar amp. I find the setting that most emulates the recording of Back Burner and practice playing and singing at the same time. I ask P to ask the chef of the place we ate at on Saturday for the recipe for a fish dish I had that changed my life. P says the chef asked me to text him and, just like that, I have the number of one of the best chefs in London. There is potential for abuse here on my part, perhaps asking for reservations that officially don’t exist like G manages to do at every good restaurant in New York. I also just want the recipe, a white fish baked in an almost custard-like inch of tahini. I ask A how serious his sesame allergy is. He technically also has a gluten allergy, but I’ve seen him stray a number of times. It makes him tired and bloated. Once he called me and told me he “fell off the wagon real bad” and ate several black and white cookies at a music producer’s birthday party. He thinks his gastric problems developed while touring with his third wave ska band in the late 1990s and he was too nervous to poop on buses. That he was in a ska band makes me so happy. I mostly keep my love of ska as a teenager a secret, but compared with some of what I dedicated my energies to back then, there is really nothing to be ashamed of
I have therapy and I tell M about all my jealous fantasies and the car on fire and my deeply felt sense that love is a zero sum game. “I think you believe love is a physical substance that can be used up”, M suggests, “you want to either overdose on love or destroy it entirely”. She proposes my original wound was in competing for care with my mother’s child patients when I was young, perhaps feeling like those ailing kids got the best of her while I got a tired husk of a woman who hated her husband and mainly came home to sleep. Maybe it seemed like her parental love was used up on someone else. And there was likely some of this with my dad, too, who also spent a great deal of time healing the sick. But his patients weren’t children, they were mainly very old or very fat people whose knees and hips had buckled beyond repair. I have dwelled on my father adequately, and now I notice the waves of anger towards my mum get larger and larger with every session. Thank god for parents, keeping the profession of psychology alive. M seems animated by this line of inquiry, and asks that we dedicate more sessions to it. She calls me “desperate” a number of times, in a way that would be offensive if it weren’t therapeutic. I laugh anyway. The hour ends and I go back to my synth, playing with the arpeggiator. If overwhelming feelings are chords, I imagine therapy is separating them all out into individual notes like this. Is that corny as hell
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newstfionline · 1 year
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Sunday, April 9, 2023
Joyous Holy Week celebrations around the world (AP) From dressing as Roman soldiers in Antigua, Guatemala, to carrying palm fronds on the streets of Lagos, Nigeria, Christians around the world are celebrating Holy Week. For millions of Christians, the week between Palm Sunday and Easter, known as Holy Week, is the most sacred time of the year. It’s the week Christians commemorate the passion of Jesus Christ. The week began with Palm Sunday, where mass at the Vatican was celebrated by Pope Francis in St. Peter’s Square the day after he was discharged from the Agostino Gemelli University Hospital in Rome, where the Vatican said he was treated for bronchitis. In Bolivia’s highland region, artists gathered for an annual event where they built sand sculptures based on Bible stories. Members of the faithful in Brazil wore tunics and hoods to take part in the Procession of Souls in Goiás state. And in Managua, Nicaragua, a child dressed as an angel during an event observing Good Friday. In recent years, Holy Week has been scaled back due to COVID-19 restrictions that require precautions such as social distancing and mask use. However, this year many of the faithful gathered in celebrations reminiscent of the era before the virus changed the nature of religious observance.
Stabbing of Cash App Creator Raises Alarm, and Claims of ‘Lawless’ San Francisco (NYT) The fury erupted within hours, as word spread that the 43-year-old man who had been stabbed to death this week in an enclave of high-rise condominiums near the Bay Bridge was Bob Lee, a well-known tech executive. The leaders of “lawless” San Francisco had Mr. Lee’s “literal blood on their hands,” Matt Ocko, a tech entrepreneur and venture capitalist in Palo Alto, Calif., tweeted. “I hate what San Francisco has become,” added Michael Arrington, the founder of the industry blog TechCrunch. “Violent crime in SF is horrific,” Elon Musk, the chief executive of Twitter and Tesla, chimed in. The drumbeat has built since then in the liberal city that only last year recalled its progressive district attorney amid calls for law and order and deepening frustration over the city’s homelessness crisis. While city officials agree that the murder is a terrifying tragedy and a signal that San Francisco has work to do on public safety, they’re also clashing with powerful figures in the tech sector over the nature and severity of the city’s problems with crime. The tension comes at a precarious time, as the tech industry implodes with layoffs and San Francisco itself struggles to bring visitors, conventions and legions of remote workers back to the too-quiet area in and around its downtown.
Resurgent remittances in Mexico (Foreign Policy) Flows of money sent to Mexico from abroad are at historic highs. This February, total remittances to the country accounted for 11 percent more than they did in February 2022, according to Mexico’s central bank. In 2021, Mexico surpassed China to become the country that receives the second-largest amount of remittances in the world. (India is no. 1.) The high tallies may reflect the post-pandemic economic recovery in the United States, where the bulk of the Mexican diaspora lives, the Economist reported.
Deadly Attack Exposes Growing Threat in Mexico: the Military (NYT) Gustavo Ángel Suárez Castillo, an American citizen from San Antonio, piled six friends, including two brothers, into his white pickup truck with Texas plates just before dawn, having spent the night celebrating the news that he was going to be a father. Suddenly, four vehicles filled with armed men began chasing and firing at them. The pickup truck crashed and as the passengers tumbled out, the armed men threw some to the ground, shooting one in the back, survivors told The New York Times. One recounted how he watched his brother slowly stop breathing while the assailants blocked medics from arriving. When it ended, five of the men, including Mr. Suárez, were dead and the other two severely injured. The attackers? Uniformed Mexican soldiers. The shooting in the city of Nuevo Laredo in the early hours of Feb. 26 has been called a coldblooded execution by the survivors and a top government official. So far, four of the 21 soldiers involved in the encounter have been arrested and the case is under investigation by civilian prosecutors and the military. The episode has deepened concerns about the growing footprint of Mexico’s armed forces, which has not only been put in charge of domestic security, but has also been given a rapidly expanding portfolio of businesses, like a new international airport and a major rail line.
Sweden Says State Actor Blew up Nord Stream Pipeline (AP) According to a new statement by Swedish investigators, it’s most likely that a state actor was behind the explosions that took out the Nord Stream gas pipelines late last year. “Our hope is to be able to confirm who has committed this crime,” said the public prosecutor leading the investigation, though he warned that “it should be noted that it likely will be difficult given the circumstances.” While Ukraine and some in the U.S. have blamed Russia for the attacks, investigations have returned a mixed bag of suspects: the New York Times has suggested that a pro-Ukrainian group was behind the attacks, while German media pinned them on a yacht operated by a pro-Ukraine Polish company. Pulitzer Prize-winning journalist Seymour Hersh also released a report blaming the U.S. for the explosions, though Washington and the U.S. media have dismissed him.
Kremlin says its strategic aim in Ukraine is to create a ‘new world order’ (Guardian) Moscow wants any Ukraine peace talks to focus on creating a “new world order”, the French press agency Agence France-Presse (AFP) quotes Russian foreign minister Sergei Lavrov as saying. “Any negotiation needs to be based on taking into account Russian interests, Russian concerns. It should be about the principles on which the new world order will be based.” According to the agency, he added that Russia rejects a “unipolar world order led by ‘one hegemon’.” Russia has long said it was leading a struggle against US dominance over the international stage, and argues the Ukraine offensive is part of that fight. The Kremlin said this week it had no choice but to continue its offensive, seeing no diplomatic solution.
Facing critical ammunition shortage, Ukrainian troops ration shells (Washington Post) The artillery shells were stored in a shallow mud dugout, covered with a black plastic tarp to keep them safe. Just 14 rounds remained—evidence of a critical ammunition shortage that has the Ukrainians scrambling for ways to conserve supply until their Western allies can produce or procure more. The artillery platoon, with the 59th Motorized Brigade in eastern Ukraine, used to fire more than 20 or 30 shells per day with their Soviet-era howitzer. Now, they typically shoot one or two, or none at all. The ammunition that has pounded parts of Ukraine daily for more than a year has become a precious resource in the artillery war with Russia—and which side conserves shells and rearms faster could turn the tide on the battlefield. Even amid a shortage, Ukraine is firing some 7,700 shells per day, or roughly one every six seconds. Russia, which may also be running low, is firing more—by some estimates triple that amount.
China flies fighter jets near Taiwan after leader’s US trip (AP) China sent warships and dozens of fighter jets toward Taiwan on Saturday, the Taiwanese government said, in retaliation for a meeting between the U.S. House of Representatives speaker and the president of the self-ruled island democracy claimed by Beijing as part of its territory. The Chinese military announced the start of three-day “combat readiness patrols” as a warning to Taiwanese who want to make the island’s de facto independence permanent. The People’s Liberation Army gave no indication whether they might include a repeat of previous exercises with missiles fired into the sea, which disrupted shipping and airline flights. On Saturday, eight warships and 42 planes were detected near Taiwan, 29 of which crossed the middle line of the strait that separates the island from the mainland, the island’s Ministry of Defense said.
A Historic Handshake (1440) Saudi Arabia and Iran formally reestablished diplomatic relations On Thursday, a significant milestone in the relationship between two of the largest powers in the Middle East. The pair cut off ties seven years ago after Saudi embassies in Iran were attacked following the Saudi execution of a popular Shia cleric. Saudi Arabia and Iran have been engaged in a regional power struggle for decades, exacerbated by the differing sectarian religious views—Saudi is roughly 90% Sunni Muslim, while Iran is about 90% Shia Muslim. The regional conflict has also become a proxy for greater world powers, with Saudi Arabia generally working with the West and Iran forging close ties with Russia and China. Notably, the deal was brokered by China, marking one of the country’s biggest diplomatic moves in modern geopolitics.
Tesla workers shared sensitive images recorded by customer cars (Reuters) Tesla assures its millions of electric car owners that their privacy “is and will always be enormously important to us.” The cameras it builds into vehicles to assist driving, it notes on its website, are “designed from the ground up to protect your privacy.” But a Reuters Special Report shows that between 2019 and 2022, groups of Tesla employees privately shared via an internal messaging system sometimes highly invasive videos and images recorded by customers’ car cameras, according to interviews with nine former employees. One ex-employee described a video of a man approaching a vehicle completely naked. Also shared: crashes and road-rage incidents. One crash video in 2021 showed a Tesla driving at high speed in a residential area hitting a child riding a bike, according to another ex-employee. Two ex-employees said they weren’t bothered by the sharing of images, saying that customers had given their consent or that people long ago had given up any reasonable expectation of keeping personal data private. Three others, however, said they were troubled by it. “I’m bothered by it because the people who buy the car, I don’t think they know that their privacy is, like, not respected … We could see them doing laundry and really intimate things. We could see their kids.”
‘I’ve Lost a Lot of Flesh and Bone,’ Jeremy Renner Says, Recalling Snow Plow Accident (NYT) The actor Jeremy Renner, who was severely injured on Jan. 1 when a heavy snow plow ran over him, said in a TV interview on Thursday night that the truck had hit him as he was trying to save his nephew, an accident that broke more than 30 of his bones and upended his life. Mr. Renner, an Oscar-nominated actor who is perhaps best known for his role as Hawkeye in the Marvel Avengers movie and TV franchise, spoke publicly at length about his frightening experience and arduous recovery for the first time in an interview with ABC News. “I’ve lost a lot of flesh and bone in this experience,” Mr. Renner told the journalist Diane Sawyer. “But I’ve been refueled and refilled with love and titanium.” Doctors interviewed by ABC News said that Mr. Renner’s good physical shape and health had probably helped him survive. About 10 weeks after the accident, Mr. Renner is beginning to regain enough strength to walk with a cane. When asked in the interview if he sees the same face when looking in the mirror, Mr. Renner replied, “I see a lucky man.”
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fahrni · 1 year
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Saturday Morning Coffee
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Good morning! I hope y’all are enjoying your favorite morning wakeup beverage, I know I am. My first cup of the magic elixir know the world over as coffee is sitting next to me and it’s delicious. ☕️
I’m not using my “normal” workflow this morning. Instead of using a combination of Tot and the Micro.Blog app on my iPhone I’m using the wonderful MarsEdit from my Mac. Believe it or not, it feels kind of weird to be doing it this way. But, MarsEdit is such a wonderful tool. Happy to have it. Here we go!
Iconfactory
News quickly spread on Twitter and Mastodon that a wide range of third party apps like Twitterrific, Tweetbot, Echofon, and many others had been disabled. Strangely, Twitterrific for macOS continues to work normally. We cannot say for certain why some clients are unaffected, but it seems possible that there is a new (seemingly unstated and unannounced) policy that is only being applied to apps with large numbers of users.
As of this writing Twitterrific is still blocked from connecting to Twitter. Good old Elon, Mr. Free Speech, is being spiteful and blocking third-pary apps from working. It seems it’s only the third-party apps with the biggest user base.
So far Twitter hasn’t explained why they did it. Spite, I’d imagine.
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Oh, it’s worth noting that Twitterrific is the granddaddy of all Twitter clients and while working on it the word “tweet” was coined. They definitely made history. Ollie, the little bird at the right, is Twitterrific’s mascot and in many ways has become synonymous with Twitter.
I’ve been a Twitterrific user for years and years and I have enormous respect for everyone at The Iconfactory and wish them all the best. ❤️
Pitchfork
The Grammy-winning rock guitarist Jeff Beck has died, his family announced. “After suddenly contracting bacterial meningitis, he peacefully passed away yesterday,” the family shared in a statement. “His family ask for privacy while they process this tremendous loss.” Beck was 78 years old.
Another legend gone before his time. RIP Mr. Beck.
The Guardian
Joe Biden said the situation in Brazil was “outrageous” after supporters of former president Jair Bolsonaro invaded the country’s congress, presidential palace and supreme court on Sunday, with some senior US lawmakers calling for the far-right figure to be extradited from the US.
Of course Bolsonaro took a page from the Trump Playbook of Stupidity and encouraged his supports to try to overthrow the government. The world looks to the United States for direction. TFG is a real asshole and has put democracy around the world at risk. Both men will get their just deserts someday.
Douglas Hill
In an iOS app, it’s technically fairly easy to also use code written in C, C++, Objective-C, Objective-C++ or JavaScript. In this article, we’ll look at how to call JavaScript code from Swift using JavaScriptCore. As an example, I’ll go through the steps of adding a JavaScript dependency to my iOS reading app to remove tracking parameters from URLs.
Really nice piece by Mr. Hill. I would love to integrate Read Later into Stream someday and it would also be wonderful to embed Readability JavaScript into Stream to make that happen. It would also help standard RSS feeds because many only include a snippet of the full article text. Having Readability support would allow Stream to parse the text of the original web page so you’d get the full article in the article view. Just one of many things I’d love to so.
Raw Story
The wife of a 2020 Iowa Republican candidate for Congress has been arrested and accused of filing 23 fraudulent votes for her husband, reports Business Insider.
If you want to know what the GOP is guilty of on a daily basis just listen to the things they scream about the most.
Seems they like to cheat at elections, among other things.
Goto 10
So I knew I wanted something different. It turns out that a new OS had been getting a big marketing push: IBM OS/2 Warp. This was v3 of OS/2 and let’s get into its history a bit.
I heard this a lot when I was part of Visio. A gentleman approached me at Windows World in Atlanta one year and said “I guarantee if you port Visio to OS/2 you’ll sell 100,000 copies right away.” Apparently he worked for IBM.
We chose not to do it because the market was just too small for us to use precious resources for the port. We did have versions that ran on Classic MacOS, NT PPC, and NT Alpha, but never OS/2. The NT versions were fairly straight forward. The Mac version used a porting kit called Alar. I can’t find any references to it or I’d give y’all a link.
Bjango
In an effort to reduce the final app size of iStat Menus, we’ve been investigating ways to slim down our app icon. It’s currently about 1.4MB, which is normal for an app icon, but a decent percentage of our bundle.
Marc Edwards does a deep dive into app icon sizes and his attempt to scale back the size a bit.
Cycling News
Chris Froome has warned of the long-term effects of COVID-19, arguing that many riders are struggling for months post-infection and highlighting the potential risks to the heart.
Yes, long term COVID-19 is a real deal and it effects young, old, and even the fittest of fit professional athletes. Wear a mask and stay safe out there.
Bloomberg
Apple Inc. is working on adding touch screens to its Mac computers, a move that would defy long-held company orthodoxy and embrace an approach that co-founder Steve Jobs once called “ergonomically terrible.”
I can understand folks saying it’s ergoonomically terrible to use a touch screen on a desktop computer, but occasionally tapping the screen on a laptop isn’t bad at all. I’ve seen many a person do this with their touch screen Windows laptops over the years and they don’t seem to have any sort of fatigue associated with it.
Microsoft’s Surface Pro seems like the perfect Windows device to me. It’s a tablet that can be use with a full sized monitor, keyboard, and mouse, and it runs Windows. I could write code on one of these devices. I can’t do that with an iPad.
Fox Sports
Sometimes, there’s a guy like Stetson Bennett IV, except that there isn’t really, not exactly like him anyway, not when this young man of unassuming excellence had to be a footballing miracle-worker just to become Georgia’s quarterback, never mind everything he’s done since.
I love me an underdog. Now, lets see if Stetson Bennett can have an NFL career. I hope so.
Also, the real Championship game was Georgia vs. Ohio State in the Peach Bowl. That was one amazing football game.
Don Melton on Mastodon
Today is the twentieth anniversary of #Apple’s #Safari Web browser being publicly introduced. That stunning debut happened at the Macworld Expo in San Francisco on January 7, 2003. And, of course , I was there. Here’s what I wrote about that event ten years ago:
Happy Birthday Safari! 🥳 All us Mac loving people owe Don “Gramps” Melton a big thanks for putting together the team that went on to create Safari. Thanks, Don!
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2:01 am pdt 26 November 2022 Saturday 
🪐
{{updating 27 November 2022 7:09 & 10:55am & 12:14 pm pdt}}
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https://christianityfaq.com/was-jesus-perfect-and-why-it-matters/
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https://www.ancient-origins.net/myths-legends/tattooed-priestesses-hathor-001122
still reading 📖 this (& the other link). I read a similar one this year.
2:30 am pdt 26 November 2022 Saturday 🪐
6:06 am pdt I’m upset 27 November 2022 I left this open to add stuff - probably 24+ hours 0_o. Minutes ago Added stuff but it didn’t save even though it has automatic saving feature. I have to start all over again. Read webtoons hooves of death ☠️ Sam Bragg, sirens 🚨 lament instant miso & tangent.. something, toy story sequel from 2010 ( in movie theaters 🎭 @ the time). I’m damned either way. Woody the 🪵 wood pecker. The floor is lava. Volcano 🌋 6:13 6:15am pdt
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6:28 am pdt Also found a new comic before 6am pdt. I guess it’s a sign 🪧 I’m going to die soon. Lucky 🍀 me.
https://m.webtoons.com/en/comedy/bad-signs/list?title_no=1623
6:30 am pdt 27 November 2022 Sunday 🌞 ☀️ = sol? Is this my this my solmate? Soul sole solimente Solomon = autocorrect. Anderson. 6:33 am pdt.
7:09 am pdt 27 November 2022 Sunday ☀️
if fairytales 🧚🏽‍♀️ aren’t full of sh*t (pay phone ☎️ 🎶🎵) then how would we know we aren’t seeing what’s not really there? Holograms, hallucinations, mirages, Et cetera? He’s got to be good looking because he’s so hard to see 🎵🎶 Beatles?? Princesses 👸🏻 and the worn out dancing 💃 shoes 👠 Grimm fairytales 🧚🏽‍♀️ 50 times hotter in person??? @_@ how would I know even if I saw him in person if my eyes 👀 have been messed with to deceive me??? 7:19 am pdt see/sea 🌊 season evergreen 🌲 silver creek. 😭😞😖😫😭😤🥵😵 7:22 am pdt strange monogatari 7:23 am pdt
9:29 am pdt 27 November 2022 Sunday ☀️
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I wish I could go somewhere with my family where they can’t touch us. 😭 he’s going to do whatever he wants which is hurt me, f*ck other women.
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blurry. 9:33 am pdt. 🦩🦚🐓🦜🦃🕊🦤 9:34 am pdt 9:35 am pdt he likes 2 rub it n my face.
saw this online ths year? Thru apple news app 📰 🗞?? I found it again thru ecosia.org ??
ive seen people use “gate” with things I don’t know 🤷🏻‍♀️ what that means. Now that I’ve seen that “whisper sweet nothings “ to a butt line for than a month I realized that this is very seductive & it’s not as bad (referring 2 an article title - labeling his sexting as kinda lame? What he did was still BAD - bad dog 🐶! Bad boy! Bad man!! 🤬😡6:13 pm pdt) as people initially think it is. He’s basically preying on very innocent minded women. Sliding in slyly with something that can b interpreted as humorous 😭😭😭😭😭😵😵😵😵😩😖😖😖😖😖😖😖🤬 & prob tricks us into our comfort zones. If he were to literally act this out, it would literally possiblyprolong titillation, draw out to thorough foreplay! It serve to become “pussygate” 🤬 bcz of its proximity to” the devil” to make out with. 🤬😡 10:06 am pdt it is in disguise 🥸. I have to imagine it to contemplate it’s potential? He’s a dog! 10:08 am pdt 🐶
10:54 am pdt 27 November 2022 Sunday
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11:39 am pdt 27 November 2022 Sunday
Making out with hot guys is the worst. Funny it’s a guy asking. Tell me lies tell me sweet little lies 🎼
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It’s only okay for them not us. He won’t say that out loud tho. Don’t count on him to be honest. Why would he really share like a nicolatian unless he didn’t want them anymore ?
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12:03 pm pdt 27 November 2022 Sunday ☀️
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looks like they had real s*x in the video .... why didn’t he marry her??
12:14 pm pdt 27 November 2022 Sunday
12:20 pm pdt 27 November 2022 incubus likes to psychologically torture me with things I cannot have Bcz he won’t allow me to have it. But he does whatever he wants. I don’t think it’s a good idea to have more than one baby daddy, but what can you do if the first one is a bad ass? Is marriage a trap for women? Is having sex with a man too soon a trap , too?! YES !! Don’t forget that!!!
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12:24 pm pdt 27 November 2022 Sunday
12:29 pm pdt 27 November 2022 Sunday
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12:31 pm pdt 27 November 2022 Sunday
12:39 pm pdt tbh I think I would like to date someone (a man) up to 5 years younger (35 years old) than me. But that’s where I draw the line . & probably 1 or 2 or 3 years older than me (up to 41 years old). 12:41 pm pdt. Anyone who is rich I’d have to wonder if they sold their soul to the devil 👿 ... 🤷🏻‍♀️ 12:43 pm pdt you know Taken, Liam neeson. Why does anyone hoard money 💰? 12:44 pm pdt. Edited this part 1:35 pm pdt - to be clear about age range. When I was 18 I was interested in someone/a man 👨 5 years older than me. But now I’m older I 🔼 my mind. 1:38 pm pdt 27 November 2022 Sunday.
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Hey! npp, i dont even have the app installed at all, just web. tMy ankle is feeeling much better now, i had a medical boot thing last week and now i dont have to wear it anymore, only ankle brace. i can walk on ig now so its all good. Idk why i wrote mushroom, i knew it was a jellysfish. Dont really make bucket lists but i have a few things i want to do. il let you know when i finish watching it. Aww thats sounds fun, i love making lil things with chalk on the sidewalk. Also Soft Shuji Sunday was very cuteee. tyy, be sure to take care of your self as well. ~ hanma anon
Omg, hanma anoooon, I just figured out how to get to my inbox and drafts and everything. Look, I’m capable of learning. 😁 I accidentally opened a side bar and aaaaaaall the information I’ve been wanting and searching for opened up. 😅 I only installed it because a friend roasted me for just using tumblr on my safari browser on my phone and changed her pretend ship for me to Sanzu or Takeomi because it gave her chaotic old ppl vibes, and I took *full* offense, so now I use the app.
Ooooof, boots look so annoying to use! Yaaaay being down to just the ankle brace and being able to walk again!! Ooooh, lol, good! I guess jellyfish and mushrooms can sort of have the same shape? Hey! What do you like to draw with chalk? 🌼
AW THANK YOU! LOOK I WAS REALLY PROUD OF SOFT SHUJI SUNDAY??? I thought it was a cute idea… My personal favorite character though is Souya, sooo might one day change it (this new Soft Sunday idea) to Soft Souya Sundays and write for him. 🤔 We’ll see. 🥰
I hope you have a good week!!!! Bye bye!!!
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opens-up-4-nobody · 3 years
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#i have demons battling it out in my brain#one says: nothing creative/fun can be designated as work#the other says: but literally u have to do these creative/fun things for work#idk why my brain is like: it is only work if u r suffering or doing something difficult#but its v stressful bc it means i do unfun things all day at normal hrs of the day (or avoid doing them)#and then spend the rest of my time doing the more fun stuff which stretches my 'work' time to strange long hrs#but if i do them at normal hrs i feel like im gonna die#its terrible. and ive got at least 12+ hours worth of fun stuff i have to do on the lab computer rn#so guess whose gonna be getting up at 4am multiple times this week assuming nothing else comes up#also i have to draw a thing#which is why im getting a headache bc ive spent so much time today messing with procreate and trying to figure out a style#and my brain is like: u r wasting time!!!! u need to be more productive#but i have to figure out how to use the app??? also its sunday#theres just so much to do and im being crushed by the weight of it all#my brain keeps doing that angry buzzing then while i run so fun times#i think im figuring out the digital art thing tho#and that means ill have to redraw a bunch of stuff i did for the lab bc it all looks trash now and the style is gonna be inconsistant#sigh... idk y i do this to myself but here we are#srry for being so ranty lately. ive been feeling not great so ive withdrawn from socalizing and thus have no outlet lol#unrelated#ah fuck i really need to work on manuscript stuff tho#okay: this week i will read a bunch of annoying photosynthesis papers or else. i will i will. writing progress will be made
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moonctzeny · 4 years
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Baby
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au+trope+prompt game: college!au Jaehyun + fake dating + it’s just so hard not to fall in love with you
pairing: jung jaehyun x fem!reader x asshole!yuta
other members as background characters: yuta, mark, johnny, jungwoo
genre: angst, smut
word count: 9,124
warnings: abusive relationship, toxic behaviour
summary: “When Yuta breaks your heart for the millionth time, you meet Jaehyun, freshly broken up and looking for revenge. You decide to start fake dating to get back on your exes, but your plan takes an unexpected turn. You fall in love.”
a/n: I really don’t like putting yuta in a negative light like that it’s just for the fic’s sake! also I literally used the name Naeun as Jaehyun’s ex because I think it’s SUCH a pretty name, NO correlation whatsoever to any korean celebrity named naeun!
_____________________________________
You knew it was wrong.
Looking through your boyfriend’s, Yuta’s, phone while he took a shower, was the arguably the tackiest thing you have ever done.
He was always distant lately, only seeming to make time for a booty call, and at first, you blamed your hectic schedule. Your major was demanding, to say the least, so when Yuta suggested that you replace your dates with some “quality time” at his dorm, you had no objections. You didn’t know that he also meant ignoring your calls, canceling on you at the last minute to meet up with his frat brothers, and keeping your relationship strictly between four walls and two naked bodies.
The thought of him meaning more to you than you meant for him ate you away. It creeped in your mind while you heard the water running from your shower, and lead your fingertips to tap in the password of his phone.
Opening his messaging app, you recognize his best friends’ icons in a group chat consisting of his frat members. You scrolled up, ignoring the latest massages regarding a party that the frat would be throwing in two weeks. You started to feel guilty, not exactly sure what you were looking for, when you saw your name at the screen.
m0rklee[00:10]: @yutassanhyung, i saw your girl today at the supermarket! why didn’t you tell her about the party next Sunday?
you[00:12]: what girl lol  
m0rklee[00:13]: y/n?? i thought you guys were together?
you[00:12]: nahh
fairyteil[00:15]: eyy @yutassan if you’re done with her i know a couple guys who wanna hit it too
you[00:16]: be my guest haha
you[00:16]: don’t get me wrong she was bad when we met but shit is getting kinda stale
tenoutoften[00:17]: aren’t you on your way to her place lol
you[00:17]: hey hey pussy is pussy
Was that all you were to him? Pussy?
Yuta called you special, he called you yours. He didn’t like it when you were talking to other guys. He ripped your lingerie set because he didn’t want anyone else to ever see you in it but him. And then he dared to go around and call you a fling?
You heard the water stop running and knew you didn’t have much time until you had to face him, the thought alone making you sick.
You didn’t bother to lock his phone again, leaving the chat that made you so upset open. Grabbing your keys and a jacket, you left your place and hoped that Yuta would get the message and get the fuck out of there before you came back.
Your legs walked on their own accord, your memory leading you to the only place where you knew you’d find any sort of comfort. When Johnny opened his door, tears were already streaming down your face. He took the open tequila bottle you were holding and pulled you in for a hug. He smelled like weed and beer, and after hearing the “Is that the pizzas?”, you realized that your best friend wasn’t alone.
You quickly wiped your cheeks and fixed your sex hair that Yuta messed up, trying your best to look presentable. Johnny put a hand on your back and lead you to his living room. Jungwoo, your and Johnny’s friend from high school, was sprawled out on the couch, a little disappointed after seeing that you were, in fact, not the pizzas. Next to him, drowning in a bean bag, was Jaehyun. You didn’t really know him very well other than the fact that he took the same major as Johnny, so you felt a little insecure looking as messy as you did right now. His eyes were red, just like the other men’s, but you could swear his eyelashes looked a little damp.
Jungwoo’s words were muffled by the barbecue chips he was munching away.
“Yoo y/n, I didn’t know you were coming!”
You placed the tequila bottle on the table,
“Yeah, Woo, figured you wanted something to drink”
“Move” Johnny murmured to him, but he only stretched and sighed dramatically, shoving a handful of chips in his mouth.
“I don’t need a drink I need food. I’m hungry and I got the munchies”
Johnny grabbed his ankle and with impressive ease, dragged Jungwoo to the floor. The taller man sat on the couch, on the side next to Jaehyun and you followed his lead, letting a grumpy Jungwoo lean his head on your knees. Taking the lit joint from Jaehyun’s fingers, Johnny turned his attention back on you.
“So tell me chica” he said and took a hit, “who do I have to beat up?”
“Yuta”, you grumbled, “I’m ghosting this motherfucker”
You felt the vibrations on your lap when Jungwoo started talking.
“What did he do this time? Didn’t I tell you not to get involved with stupid frat boys?”
You started petting his hair, the softness comforting under your fingers.
“Apparently I’m not ‘bad’ enough for him anymore” you replied, throwing air quotes and rolling your eyes.
“Whaaaaat” Johnny drew out with a cough after taking a particularly deep inhale from the blunt, “you’re like the baddest bitch I know. Even now, that you’re all puffy from crying and smell like his dick”
You hit his shoulder, almost dropping the joint he was passing to Jungwoo, embarrassed that he would say something like that in front of Jaehyun, an almost stranger to you.
“I don’t know, man” Jungwoo started, and you could hear the smile on his face, “when girls cry it’s kinda hot”
You were contemplating how many hairs of his you should rip out of his scalp when the telecom rang, assumably by the pizza delivery man.
“Saved by the bell”, Jungwoo muttered to himself and got up quickly to open the door. While the youngest paid for the pizzas, Johnny held your hand, a bit guilty for his words earlier. He had a mischievous smirk and kept shifting his gaze between you and Jaehyun, who had been sitting in silence ever since you got here, occasionally smiling at your friends’ teasing.
“Fuck Yuta, man. You should find a nice guy to treat you well and fuck you even better y’know?” he started, and patted his buddy roughly on the back, “Like Jae over here”
Your eyes widened and you instinctively glanced at Jaehyun, ears a deep red and a matching shocked look on his face.
You cleared your throat, “No offense, but, like, aren’t you practically married to this girl-uhhh what’s her name again? Naeun?”
To someone who wasn’t listening to your conversation, it must have seemed like you tased him, or brought up a painful childhood memory, or asked him if he’d be willing to lick a lemon after washing his teeth. He looked away from you, and turned his attention to his nails, ripping a cuticle off in deep concentration. His voice was so quiet when he finally spoke, that you barely heard him. “I broke up with her, actually.. Like, three hours ago”
Guilt washed over you in an instant, not knowing that you scratched a wound so fresh. You wanted to apologize and even ask if you should leave the three alone, when Jungwoo grabbed the Tequila bottle and crashed on the couch clumsily between you and Johnny.
“Fuck love!”, he yelled, “let’s get wasted”
_______________________________________
You stared at the empty José Cuervo bottle rising up and down Johnny’s chest with every one of his snores. He was laid out on his couch, his tall height taking up all of its entirety, leaving Jungwoo passed out on the floor. Jaehyun followed your eyes and smiled at Johnny’s sleeping face, mouth open and tongue spilling out.
After the 4th shot, you found out that Jae was a pretty decent guy. He let you rant about Yuta while your friends were busy trying to see who could eat a large pizza by himself the fastest. You told him all about how you never went on dates anymore, how you looked through his phone after having sex, and the text conversation you found earlier tonight. He listened carefully, without judgment, and after smoking some more of Johnny’s staff, he opened up to you about his relationship with Naeun.
Or rather, how he found her fucking his roommate on his own bed.
You always thought of these two as what they call a ‘power couple’. Valedictorian meets basketball all-star, they graduate and have beautiful babies, while all the rest of us mortals can do is admire from afar. You would have never guessed the toxicity, constant cheating and manipulation that Jaehyun was recounting. You bonded over stories about cancelled dates, emotional distancing and feeling like you’re always the one giving but never receiving. If you were being honest, you would have never expected such emotional depth from a college point guard. He drew you in with his gentleness, and you noticed how different he was from Yuta, who engulfed you with his intensity. You also hated how even now, you were still thinking of him.
Just then, you got his third message for the night:
asshole [03:35]:come on baby don’t ignore mee, me and the guys were just messing around
you [03:36]:stop texting me
you [03:38]:we’re done
You locked your phone, upset and angry, and felt Jaehyun sigh.
“I know I’m falling for her stupid games, but I just want to get back at her y’know? Show her what she’s missing, that type of thing”
You knew exactly what he was talking about. During the past hours, you weighted all the possible ways you could make Yuta regret ever taking you for granted.
He was so charming that he could get laid with anyone he wanted (and probably did, even when you were ‘dating’), but even after what he said to Taeil, you knew that he hated the thought of anyone else fucking you. He wanted your body to be his, without having to deal with the commitment that came with that privilege.
You thought about fucking one of his frat buddies, but that would get you from being called ‘Yuta’s girl’ to ‘ΘΨΩ’s cumslut’, and your self esteem couldn’t take that blow.
Jaehyun’s deep voice interrupted your train of thoughts.
“Maybe Johnny’s right”
“Huh? ”
“You should date me”
You blinked at him twice, not knowing what to reply when you saw him wave his hands frantically in front of his face.
“Fake date me! I mean, you should fake date me. Sorry, the weed’s got me a little fucked up”
At first, the idea seemed crazy. Yes, it would make Yuta furious that you were supposedly fucking one of the hottest guys on campus. Yes, Naeun would get mad that she didn’t have Jaehyun’s constant attention that she so craved anymore. Yes, you two might have revealed your deepest insecurities, opened up your hearts to each other all while sharing a bottle of alcohol, but you had never hanged out together without Johnny being present. You had barely hanged out together, period. But wouldn’t that make it even more believable? Two of Johnny’s best friends break up at the same time, meet up at his house and inevitably end up together. You didn’t share the same major, so you wouldn’t have to put up the act too much at college. And with social media, making a fake relationship believable was easier than ever.
asshole [03:42]: fuck you. you think you can find someone better than me?
Drunk and lacking logic, you agreed on the plan, and gave him your number. You had just finished creating the contact on his phone when he suddenly got up and rushed to the bathroom, facing the consequences of the tequila and weed combo.
You passed out on Johnny’s bean bag and when you woke up on Sunday afternoon, Jaehyun was gone.
———————————————————
You didn’t expect him to text you on Monday, thinking that it was intoxication that gave him the idea of fake dating and made it look brilliant. So when he gave you the address to his dorm, to further discuss your ‘operation’ you were surprised, but determined to succeed.
The plan was simple. You would start tagging each other on your instagram stories, to show people that you were spending time alone. He agreed to pick you up from your lecture on Wednesday, your classes coinciding on neighboring buildings. And for you final act, he’d come with you as your plus one for the frat’s party next Sunday. Mark was nice enough to invite you, after Yuta ‘forgot’ to do it instead, and Naeun, being Taeil’s sister, wouldn’t miss it for the world. It was the perfect opportunity to flaunt your new relationship, all while being on the opponent’s part of the field.
You started off innocently enough. After you and Jaehyun finished brainstorming ideas about the ‘operation’ as he insisted on calling it, he suggested you stay for a movie and some Chinese food. His dorm was cozy, a little messy, maybe, but it fitted his boyish charm. He had a nice collection of vinyls, stating that his favorite one was I. by Cigarettes After Sex. You were a bit taken aback by his love for dreampop and rnb, but the more you got to know him, the more it seemed to fit him nicely. On the wall next to his bed hung a display full of all of his sport trophies. He was known for his basketball skills, but you also saw medals for soccer, track, volleyball. Amongst them all was an English certificate and a spelling bee award. You wondered if he ever felt pressure trying to be so perfect all the time.
The movie was terrible, but Jaehyun managed to entertain you by making silly jokes throughout and mocking the actors’ bad acting. It was the first time you ever saw him crack a joke like that and be willing to contort his handsome features. So much better than the dream boy image he was feigning for everyone, but you didn’t know him well enough to tell him. The movie was halfway done when he picked up his phone and opened a camera app through his Instagram.
“Shouldn’t we take a story? Since we’re together anyways?”
You nodded and scooted closer to him. He was a bit hesitant as he positioned the camera to capture your legs that were touching, a scene from the movie playing in the background. It was a cute picture but nothing indicated that the two of you were more than friends. You pressed the X at the top of the screen to discard the picture, and placed his hand on top of your thigh. You turned around just in time to witness his ears turning into a fuschia pink.
“Is that okay?”
He nodded and regained his cool, taking the picture and tagging you with a red heart next to your username.
A couple hours after leaving his place you texted him, asking if Naeun had replied to his story. He said that unfortunately, the only person who batted an eye was Johnny, replying with a “ 👀 👀 👀 “ .
———————————————————
You met up again the next day, at your apartment this time.
He looked nervous being in a place so foreign to him yet so personal to you, so you decided to turn the lights down to help him relax, insisting that you weren’t trying to seduce him or anything. He laughed at your joke but still looked tense, and you thought that maybe he needed some liquid courage to open up.
“Hey Jae. Want a drink?”
It took him 3 beers to finally loosen up and show you his dimpled grin again. You were sitting on the floor, facing each other and feeling comfortable in the ambience of the room. A Spotify playlist was playing in the background so it would fill up the awkward silence but wouldn’t distract you from your conversation.
“Wait wait wait. So you sleep without a pillowcase?”
“Yeah, didn’t you notice it when you came to my place yesterday?”
“I thought you forgot to do your laundry!”
His laugh was resonating and deep and manly. It made his eyes disappear and his face light up, not that it didn’t anyway - the guy could easily be a skin care ambassador, and you made a mental note to ask him about his moisturizer later.
You followed his gaze to one of your walls. Pictures were filling it up, memories of yourself and your siblings, of your friends from home that you missed, of Johnny and Jungwoo. You felt a little insecure then, comparing them to Jaehyun’s countless medals and awards.
“I’m not good at sports like you, so I have nothing else to hang on my wall”, you laughed awkwardly but he shook his head.
“No, I’m actually jealous of you. Everyone always seems to want to be around you”
“Except Yuta”
“Yuta’s an idiot, then. You are way out of his league anyways.”
You felt yourself turning into a blushing mess and looked for a way to break the awkward silence that followed his comment.
“Wanna share another one?” you asked him, shaking the empty beer bottle on your hand and he nodded. You started getting up when you felt him put a hand on your shoulder and pick up the bottles you had finished up from the table himself. He rinsed them off and put them away to the recycling bag next to your sink, the domesticity of the action making you melt. You watched as he stood on his tiptoes to reach a lager from the top drawer of your fridge, revealing a defined set of abs and two cute dimples on his lower back. You ripped your eyes away immediately, like you were caught doing something illegal, and he walked back to his spot next to you. As soon as he sat down, he groaned and threw his head back.
“The bottle opener was on the kitchen counter. I forgot to bring it”
Without saying a word, you took the beer from his hand and placed the cap in your mouth. It was a party trick that your older brother had taught you when you were 15. After finding a stable indentation on your teeth, you manipulate the rough edges of the cap and pop the beer open. You return the glass bottle to Jaehyun, who’s looking at you incredulously.
“Fuck me, that was the hottest thing I’ve ever seen”, he breaths out and you feel your whole face burning up. You opened and closed your mouth a couple times, trying to register that someone like him thought you were hot, when you felt your phone vibrating, saving you from further embarrassing yourself.
Johnny’s picture lit up on the screen and you mentally prepared yourself for the following conversation. You and Jaehyun decided against telling anyone about your relationship being fake. It’s not that your best friend wasn’t reliable, but if you told Johnny you had to tell Jungwoo, and Jungwoo doesn’t know how to keep his mouth shut to save his life.
“John, what’s up”
“Eyy chica what took you so long?”
You looked at Jaehyun who had leaned back against the pillow of your couch and sipped on the beer you would share.
“Yeah sorry I was a little busy”
“Busy.. with Jaehyun?”
You tried to sound as nonchalant as possible, but you were still trying to recover from the previous incident.
“Yeah, he’s here”
“Ohh I see, little y/n can’t get enough of Jae’s slam dunks.. I bet he’s teaching you the bank shot, the opening tip, the double dribble, the fast break, the palming.. he sure is great for a rebound-”
You interrupted him, growing tired of his nonstop basketball innuendos.
“Why did you call me Johnny?”
“Damn, sorry, I just wanted to ask you what you wanted for your birthday”
Shit, you forgot about that.
“Just get me whatever, I don’t care, you know how much I hate celebrating anyways. I’ll get the cake myself, so no surprises”
Jaehyun lifted his brows and waited patiently for your call to end before asking:
“What are we celebrating?”
“It’s my birthday on Friday. I’m going to invite a couple people over and Johnny’s already stressing over it. Don’t worry, though, you don’t have to come”
“How can your boyfriend not come to your birthday party?”
You laugh bitterly.
“Well, it’s not like Yuta came last year. To any of my parties for that matter”
“Well, he must have made up to you somehow? Got you a very special gift or something?”
“If you count eating me out as a gift then yes. It was very rare indeed.”
You took the beer from him and took a sip yourself. You noticed he had his eyes glued on his phone, his expression gloomy.
“Is everything okay?”
He snapped out of it at the sound of your voice and turned his phone screen towards you.
It was Naeun, or rather a post on her instagram account. She had her tongue out in the picture, hugging two guys that were unfamiliar to you. You read the caption.
“One day the loser will realize that the diamond he thinks he’s playing with is actually a rock”
Jaehyun mumbled an apology. I guess he thought that you’d be a bit offended being called a ‘rock’ but you were actually feeling satisfied. Your fake relationship had managed to get her attention, and for Jaehyun’s sake, you wanted to rub it in her face even more.
You opened your camera app and placed your phone on the table next to you. He figured what you wanted to do so he sat up straighter and motioned to his lap. You’d normally be a bit hesitant to sit on him if it wasn’t for the two beers and your determination, that had fired up again due to Naeun’s words. Leaning back a bit, you set up the self-timer and he put his hands on your hips to stabilize you.
You had agreed on turning up the boldness of your pics, so you placed your hands on his neck, right under his jawline. He snaked his hands upwards and wrapped them around your waist, bringing you even closer. His eyes were glossy from the alcohol and he looked at you with an impressive calmness, considering the intimacy of your position. It seemed like he was waiting for something, the ticking of the timer urging you to take things a bit further and he nodded, as if giving you permission. You leaned in, and pressed your lips on the corner of his mouth, like you couldn’t decide on kissing his dimple or his lips.
After hearing the click you climbed down from his lap, and prayed that the photo came out in focus. Your heart couldn’t handle another retake. From the angle of the camera, it seemed like you were a couple in love, sharing a sweet kiss on the lips. You added a cute caption and tagged him, so he could repost it later on his own account.
It hadn’t been 5 minutes before your phone lit up.
yutassan replied to your story: what the fuck?
You smiled triumphantly and showed the message to Jaehyun, who laughed at Yuta’s reaction. He gave you an excuse about some forgotten homework and how it was late and he has to go.
“Remember, I’ll pick you up tomorrow from class, so wait for me”
After he left, you thought about your almost kiss and the dimples of his back for way too long.
——————————————————
You exited the classroom with a growing headache. The lesson today seemed extra boring, and all you could think about was that you had to convince Johnny that it really took just three days for Jaehyun and you to officially start dating.
As promised, the pair waited for you at the end of the hallway, your best friend looking at the two of you expectantly. Jaehyun was a good actor, you thought, as he approached you before you got to reach them, meeting you halfway.
“Hey baby”, he smiled at you, the nickname turning your legs into jelly. He wrapped one arm around your shoulder, and kissed your cheek sweetly, making Johnny coo at the two of you.
“I can’t believe that I hadn’t thought about pairing the two of you together earlier”
He must have thought that the awkward body language and the silence that fell was a sign from you and Jae to leave you alone. He excused himself, saying something about “letting the young lovers swim in the pool of their love”, or something along those lines.
The two of you walked together, following the road to your next class that was just a few buildings away.
“So how has class, baby
You rolled your eyes at the insistent nickname, “you know that Johnny left us, like, 5 minutes ago, right?”
“Let me enjoy itttt”, he whined, “Naeun never let me call her anything like that”
“Why is that?”
He looked at his feet moving and frowned in thought.
“She said I was embarrassing her in front of her friends. I think she just didn’t want other guys to know that we were together”
You felt a pang of sadness and you realized that it always followed any conversation you two had about his and Naeun’s relationship.
“Well then if you call me baby, I can will you honey. Or sugarplum. Or pumpkin pie. Or-“
It was startling how fast Jaehyun pressed you up against the wall. In just a moment, he had put his hands on your waist, burying his face in your hair. You shivered when you felt his breath as he spoke against your neck.
“Yuta’s watching us”
All you could do was stay frozen in place, and listen with wide eyes.
“Huh?”
He chuckled at your response, but he replied patiently.
“Yuta? Your ex? He’s right over there. Figured we should give him a show”
And with that, he kissed you. Everything was happening so fast, that you could barely comprehend that Jaehyun, that was a stranger in the past weekend, was now making out with you at the hall, for everyone to see.
And that included Yuta.
You opened your eyes in the kiss and searched for him, spotting him with his frat buddies. His eyes were piercing through the two of you, and you saw Mark holding him back by the shoulder. The look on his face was priceless.
Jaehyun pulled back and you wrapped your arms around his neck.
“Thank you”, you whispered, “but I need one more favor”
“Anything baby”
“Slap my ass as we walk away”
Sure enough, Jaehyun took your hand and you continue your walk, momentarily stopping to make eye contact with Yuta and give you a little spank. It was something your ex loved doing on the rare occasion you two met up outside of your dorms, no matter how public the setting. You heard Mark yelling something at his ‘Yuta hyung’ and that’s when you thought, your plan just might work.
———————————————————
You didn’t see Jaehyun until your birthday. It was just a small get together, but your place was starting to get a bit crowded as time went by. Johnny had been suffocating you with hugs ever since he got there, reminiscing the time you met as teenagers and calling you an old lady. Jungwoo on the other hand couldn’t stop asking about Jaehyun. You kept making excuses about how he didn’t feel so good today and might not make it. You didn’t expect him to come, of course. Just because you had agreed on fake dating, it didn’t mean that he had any obligation to be present in all your social events. The loving message he left on your Facebook wall was enough to fulfill the purpose of your current relationship.
That is why, when you heard a knock on your door, the last thing you thought you’d see was Jaehyun holding a dozen of red roses.
“Happy birthday baby!”, he exclaimed and gave you a kiss on your cheek,
“I asked Johnny about your favorite flowers, hope we got it right”
Feeling speechless, you took the roses from his hands and inhaled their sweet scent. You were dumbfounded that he actually came, and even brought you a present. You thanked him for coming, and he repeated the same thing he said back at your place, “how could your boyfriend miss your birthday?”
And even you were fooled, momentarily, when he held you by the waist later that night and sang you happy birthday. You blew your candles and all you could wish for was a love like the one Jaehyun was faking for you. He helped you clean up, and was more than willing to socialize with all of your friends. You admired how well he fitted in your social circle, already friends with Johnny and Jungwoo, yet so nice that even people he met for the first time came to love him.
You were sitting on one of your dining chairs, your two best friends already passed out on your couch. They had brought two bottles of vodka and your favorite tequila, but you weren’t in the mood to drink. You couldn’t help but remember the time when you practically begged Yuta to be there on your special day and he still missed it. You were scared that if you got a little drunk you would text him, or worse, call him, his sweet talk bringing you back to him all over again.
The only sounds resonating through your apartment were Jungwoo’s light snoring and a chill Spotify playlist playing from your laptop. A familiar tune came on, and you recognized it being ‘Nothing’s gonna hurt you baby’ by Cigarettes After Sex. You immediately looked at Jaehyun, the only conscious person still at the party other than you. He threw his head back and sighed contently at the sound of his favorite song. You saw him get up and walk over to you, reaching his hand out.
“Will the birthday girl spare me a dance?”
You slow danced in the middle of your living room, ending the night in the sweetest note. Jaehyun always felt so stable, so safe. You wondered how he got himself tangled up in that mess of a relationship with Naeun. Maybe it was the way he treated people with such kindness, void of any prejudice. Maybe he was a little bit like you, and didn’t think he deserved much.
“She’s crazy” you mumble against his chest, his confused hum making you feel the vibration on your face.
“Naeun. She’s crazy for ever cheating on someone like you. You’re perfect”
“I have my flaws”
You thought about how competitive he got when you played beer pong earlier, how his ears get red when he gets embarrassed, how he shows his dimpled smile in apology when he’s late. His love for drinking and how it makes him more honest, his trust in people that must have gotten him hurt many, many times. You liked them all, you loved them all.
“It’s just so hard for someone not to fall in love with you”
———————————————————
And that’s how the days went by with Jaehyun. You met up almost every day, in restaurants for a nice dinner, or hanging out in each other’s dorm. It was so much fun getting to spend time with him, that you sometimes forgot to make your meetup public on social media. You helped him with his math homework, and he helped you dye your hair. You even went to his basketball game, and he dedicated one of his goals to you, following every teen movie cliche.
You felt a little sad how it was all falling to an end. The plan was successful, for the most part. Naeun had asked Jaehyun to meet up later tonight, talk things through. You wished he wouldn’t go back to her, but you knew you had no real say in his love life. Yuta saw that he didn’t own you, that there were people like Jaehyun that were willing to give you what your ex had promised you, but wasn’t able to give. Well, not really, you reminded yourself. Jaehyun was faking it. You shouldn’t let yourself get lost in the fairytale, even if the past two weeks were some of the best of your life. He had proposed that you claim that the reason for your upcoming ‘breakup’ was differences in character, but you decided to stay friends. You were happy that at least, in the midst of all this mess, you met someone like him.
It was Saturday, a day before the frat party. You had invited him over, celebrate the end of your relationship with some pizza and a movie.
The movie was boring, but Jaehyun made you laugh. It reminded you of the first time the two of you met up alone. You had gotten comfy on your couch, sharing popcorn when you noticed. A huge bruise was peeking out from Jaehyun’s tank top, the dark color contrasting against his porcelain skin.
“What the hell?!” you exclaimed and scooted closer to him. You rushed your hands on his chest, your fingers pushing the fabric aside to examine the bruise. You found even more bruises scattered around it, accompanied with scratches that stretched longer than his top could.
“It was from the game the other day”, he tried to excuse, but you weren’t buying it.
“Jae, I was there. You played basketball, not WWE. Now who did this to you?”
He sighed and fidgeted with a loose string on his jeans, clearly uncomfortable.
“When I caught Naeun with my roommate, and broke up with her, she didn’t take it very well”
You kept staring at him, urging him to continue.
“She started calling me names, saying that she’s the best I’ll ever have. That I’m worthless without her, just a social climber trying to mooch off of her popularity”
He motioned on his torso, “When I kicked her out of my place, this happened”
“Is that the first time she acted violent?”
He shook his head. “Pretty much every time she didn’t get her way”
“Jae”, you started, placing your hands on top of his “this is abuse. Have you ever talked to anyone about it?”
“It’s- it’s nothing. It’s embarrassing”
“No it’s not! Abuse is not exclusive to any gender! Guys get affected by it too!”
“It’s embarrassing because I know I can physically stop her but I don’t”
His eyes were starting to water, the sight was heartbreaking. “I sit there frozen and just take it”
“Why?”
“Because part of me believes her. That I’m hopeless without someone like her, dictating what I can and cannot do. I don’t need a shrink to tell me that it’s sick. I have these bruises to remind me”
You were starting to get angry. Angry at that bitch for hurting him, angry at Jaehyun who puts up with it, angry at you, for not seeing past the obvious like everyone else.
“I’m not letting you go see her tonight”
He laughs at you, putting up an invisible barrier between you.
“Not letting me? Wake up y/n! We’re not a real couple, remember? We’re just faking it to satisfy our selfish needs. This whole thing is pointless”
He stormed to the door and you tried to stop him, but he was too riled up for that.
“You’re going to forget about me as soon as this whole circus is over, just like everyone else”
“How can you accuse me like that when you haven’t even let me be a part of your life for real?”
“Because now you’ve met me. Me. With all my ugly, all my fucking bruises. Is it still so hard not to fall in love with me?”
With that, he closed your door with a bang, not even letting you answer that yes, it was impossible not to fall in love with Jung Jaehyun.
———————————————————
History seemed to repeat itself, as you got a text from him the next morning, that you didn’t expect.
jaehyunnie: let’s meet outside of the frat at 10:30, i’ll bring the booze.
And that’s what you did, showing up with your shortest skirt, spotting Jaehyun sitting a few meters from the frat’s entrance. He was laying against the wall, his eyes red, and he gave you the same smile he always did when he saw you, as if your fight yesterday never happened.
“Hey baby” he said and pulled you in for a hug. You couldn���t resist the invitation, and felt yourself melting in his embrace. He smelled like weed and shower gel.
It was nice, how he proclaimed your truce, but you still had to get something off your chest.
“Listen, Jae, about last night, you were right. This whole thing is pointless. We can go home, if you want”
“No baby”, he started and pulled away just enough to look at you. His eyes were droopy but glancing back at you with such care as he moved a strand of hair out of your face, “we’re here to have fun”
You wondered why he was still willing to come to the party with you as your boyfriend. Maybe he wanted to do you one last favor with Yuta, or maybe he wasn’t done indulging in Naeun’s petty games. You looked at his forearms, noticing a few scratches that weren’t there yesterday.
“I’m guessing you and Naeun didn’t make up last night”
He shook his head, and rubbed his hands on your back, keeping your temper down.
“Did you get in a fight?”
“Something like that”
You didn’t know what came over you. It was anger and protectiveness, possessiveness even. You laced your fingers in his locks, letting his head rest against the wall. If Naeun wanted you to speak in her language, then so be it.
You started kissing his neck, on that part on the side that is tender and sensitive. You heard passerbys whistling at the two of you, seemingly getting it on in public. Your licks and sucks weren’t meant for pleasure though, you had a goal and that was to leave a bruise. A statement for Naeun.
You walked in the building hand in hand and followed Jae to the kitchen, where he poured you a drink out of the bottle he brought along. Looking around, you sensed a couple familiar faces staring back at you from the crowd. Taeyong from class, Mark and Ten, and last but not least, Naeun. You downed the drink in one shot and lead Jaehyun to the dance floor.
He put his hands on your hips, and swayed you at the sound of some club song you weren’t familiar with. You ground your ass against him and he hissed, keeping you close against him. A little voice in your head was screaming how this isn’t real, to him this is all pretend, but you ignored it. You wanted her to think that he was yours, that she couldn’t hurt him anymore.
“Why are you doing this to me y/n? Yuta’s not even around”
Jae turned you around, and you put your hands on his shoulders. He looked absolutely breathtaking tonight. You searched his face for a flaw, yet couldn’t find any. You wouldn’t change a single thing on him.
“She’s here” you said venomously.
He buried his face in your neck, inhaling the smell of your hair and trying to ground himself from his high. “I don’t give a fuck about Naeun”
He kissed your ear and your mind fogged up even more.
“She didn’t ask me to meet up yesterday, I did. I wanted to tell her that she and I were done, for good. I thought she wouldn’t be here tonight, but I guess she changed her mind”
What?
“Then why are you here? And why did you let me give you that big ass hickey?”
He stopped nibbling on your ear, and whispered to it instead.
“I’d never miss up on a chance to feel yours”
The bodies dancing next to you, the liquer you had downed a few minutes ago and Jaehyun’s words were getting too much to handle. You felt suffocated, unable to distinguish where reality ended and pretending began with you two.
“Jae, I need a moment, excuse me”
Releasing yourself from his grasp, you made your way to the kitchen. There wasn’t any fresh air, but there was plenty of booze. You poured yourself a shot and as you downed it, you felt another liquid trickling down your top.
You looked up to find out who managed to make this night even worse for you, only to come across the last person you needed to see tonight. Yuta.
“Shit I’m sorry”, he muttered and you avoided eye contact, thinking you’d manage to get away without him realizing it was you. Luck wasn’t on your side tonight.
“Well well well. Long time no see.”
Confidence was dripping from his smile, to his stance, to the way he looked at you. He had dyed his hair your favorite color, his white locks begging to be tugged and played with. To top it all off, he smelled good, so, so good. He smelled dangerous. Comfortable.
You immediately realized that you didn’t have the self control needed to resist him. Turning on your heel, you started to get the hell out of there when he held your wrist, keeping you in place.
“Wait, I’m sorry, you can’t stay like this, you’ll catch a cold”
“Since when are you worried about me?”
“C’mon y/n, please. Come upstairs, I’ll give you a clean shirt. No funny business, I promise”
You hated yourself for this, but you followed him upstairs to his room, like a pray falling right into the hunter’s trap. He closed the door behind him, muting the loud music and you sat on his bed that you were so familiar with. Looking through his closet, he passed you one of his t-shirts, and turned around to let you change with some privacy. It was comical how chivalrous he was acting, considering the unspeakable things you’ve done in here.
“Not like you’ll see something you haven’t seen already”, you murmured and he chuckled, raising his hands.
“Hey, I’m a gentleman. It’s my fault, after all. I have a habit of getting you wet.”
Blushing at his comment, you quickly changed into the clean shirt and felt the bed dip next to you. You thanked him under your breath and started getting up, when you felt him hold you back once again.
“Stay, just a moment. I’ve missed you”
“What do you want?”
“You, baby”
Yuta was the one who said it, but you swore you felt Jaehyun’s voice reverberating through the nickname. Suddenly, it felt like there was no air for you to breathe.
“That’s not happening, Yuta. I’m with Jaehyun now”
He scoffed, “Jaehyun? Naeun’s puppy? Come on now, we both know you can do better than that”
“Don’t talk about him like that”, you bite back, but he doesn’t budge.
“What kind of boyfriend leaves his girl alone in a party like this?” He grips your chin, making you stare at him face to face, impossibly close. “Look at you. Every single guy in this party wants to fuck you. You expect me to be ok with this?”
Yuta lets his other hand glide on your knee, moving up to your thigh slowly. He smiled at how easy it was to focus on him.
“Do you remember how I made you feel? How I reminded you that you’re mine? You were moaning so loud, Mark thought you’d pass out. You loved it.”
You wanted to scream, tell him that this was the past you, that you couldn’t take going back to him once again and get your heart broken one more time, but you felt helpless around him. The warm feeling was only temporary, it would soon evaporate when you face the fact that to him, you are nothing but a play toy, a possession.
And that’s when Jaehyun barged in through the door. His eyes moved frantically from Yuta’s hands on your thighs, to his band tee you wore, to your discarded top on the floor. He quickly turned red, the color spreading from his neck to his face, then landing on his ears.
“What the fuck do you think you’re doing with my girlfriend?”
You instantly got up, following his thought sequence.
“It’s not what it looks like! He spilled his drink on me and gave me a clean shirt and..and..”
“And you decided to sit on his lap to thank him?”, he mocked you and Yuta laughed.
“Calm down, dude. I didn’t make her do anything. Besides, it’s not the first time y/n found her way over here after some disappointing dick”
Jaehyun grabbed him by the collar and pulled him up from the bed, forcing him to stand and face him. You moved between the two, trying to stop the catastrophe that was about to happen. Jae might have more muscle power than Yuta, but if the whole frat ganged up on him he would have to leave this place in a stretcher.
“Jaehyun please, let’s just go. Baby, please”
The nickname was the only thing that brought him out of his rage and made him listen to you. He let go of Yuta and took your hand, dragging you out of the room.
You were two hallways down when you pulled away, forcing him to stop.
“Why did you have to get so mad?”
“Why the fuck did you go back to him?”
“I didn’t! It was just.. so hard for me to tell him no”
You felt your eyes water with how pathetic you sounded. Jaehyun rubbed his hands over his face, groaning in frustration.
“Don’t you understand how much it fucking hurts? To see you with that guy that treats you like shit when I’m right here, willing to give you everything? When I’m in love with you?”
You couldn’t process what he said because in a moment, his mouth was on yours. The kiss was so different than the one you shared at the hallway of your campus. It was passionate, it was rough, and this time, he monopolized your attention. His lips were determined to bruise into yours, leaving you breathless and causing your back to fall against a wall. It was crowded around you, eyes prying into your intimate moment but to you, the only person around was Jaehyun.
“You smell like him”, he growled, sucking on the tender spot under your ear, “makes me wanna fuck his scent off of you”
That was all you needed to hear. You led him to the frat’s guest room, knowing that Taeil always kept a spare key in the lamp next to the door. Unlocking the door seemed like a tour de force with Jaehyun leaving open mouthed kisses on your neck, but you finally managed to stumble inside. You locked the door behind you, continuing your heated kiss, hands roaming around each other’s body.
He was taller than you, so when you felt him grab your ass with such eagerness, you almost lifted off the ground. You palmed him through his jeans, the roughness of his hard on making your panties stick from wetness just a bit more.
“I want to taste you” you managed through kisses, but he just unzipped your skirt as a response, pulling it to the floor in one hasty move. Petting your clit through your underwear, a shiver ran down your spine, spreading goosebumps all over your arms and legs.
“I don’t think I have the patience for that”
He walked you backwards towards the guest bed, taking his pants and shirt off along the way. You sat on the edge of it and admired his godly proportions, when you took notice of the bruises and scratches that led to your fight on Saturday. Suddenly feeling the need to slow down, you started leaving kisses over each and every one of them. You wanted him to trust you, give in to you completely. He had his flaws just like he said, but you wanted all of him. And you wanted him now.
“I need you, now”, you voiced your thoughts and helped him take off his boxers, revealing his hard cock. He was thick and decently long, making your mouth water and your pussy clench.
Towering on top of you, he removed your panties that were embarrassingly damp at this point, and by his smirk, you knew he noticed.
Jaehyun bent your legs next to your torso, making you expose all of you. He licked his lips as he dove into your lower ones, muttering praises about your “pretty pussy”, turning you impossibly wet.
Jung Jaehyun never disappoints, you thought, because the moment you felt the first lap over your sensitive bud, you got a taste of heaven. He alternated between licking and sucking over the spot that turned you into putty against him. You were already unbearably turned on at this point, and the changing pace of his tongue made you lose your mind.
Your pants and moans only seemed to urge him on, and after a few minutes of his careful treatment you felt yourself getting close. He must have sensed it, because when you grabbed the bedpost in an effort to stop shaking, he stood on his knees, and reached for a condom in his wallet.
You didn’t have time to complain about the denial of your orgasm, and started taking Yuta’s shirt off, when he grabbed your hands and placed them back on their previous position on the headboard.
“Don’t”, he said sternly as he lined himself up your entrance, “I want to fuck you in his shirt”
There was no time to think about whether his request was healthy or not, because when you felt him stretch you out, the only thing on your mind was him and his dick.
You let out a deep moan and he took it as a sign to screw himself deeper inside you. Your pussy gushed uncontrollably, filling the room with the lewd sounds of skin slapping against skin. You unlaced your fingers and ran them down his back, ghosting them over the dimples that had affected you so much.
Jaehyun lowered himself, letting his chest touch yours, and you could feel his abs contracting over the fabric of Yuta’s shirt.
“I bet he’s never eaten you out like that, yeah?”
“N-no, never, ahh”
He sat up again, putting your legs over his shoulders and lifted your butt off the mattress, gripping your hips to steady himself before continuing his incredible pace.
“You’re mine, aren’t you baby? Mine to give you everything.”
The position felt divine. He was hitting it incredibly deep, reaching the spot that had you moaning so loud you were thankful for the unbearably loud music of the party. You were sure his fingers would leave a mark over your hipbones but you didn’t care, the pain only accentuating the warm feeling in your belly.
“J-Jae don’t stop - fuck don’t stop I’m gonna cum”
He leaned over, grabbing your face that was contorting in pleasure.
“Look at me when you cum for me”, he demanded, and when you rolled your eyes behind your head, letting go, he let out his first moan for the night.
He kissed your lips sweetly, helping you ride out your high.
“You’re so beautiful, my baby. So, so beautiful”, he praised and you submitted fully to him. He turned your body around, positioning you in all fours, and you wondered where the gentle boy you met at Johnny’s house went. His dick buried in you once again, spreading your juices around and the sensitivity of your previous orgasm made you aware of every single inch.
“So fucking tight”
Jaehyun didn’t go easy on you. He saw how much you liked it, how you were pushing your ass against his cock. He pounded in and out of you with the intention of fucking your thoughts out, and that’s just what he did. When the feeling got too much, and making any sort of noise seemed like a feat, you felt him push your hair back, and start biting on your neck, most definitely leaving a mark.
“I’m gonna cum. Fuck, I’m gonna cum”, he muttered, his voice wavering and you felt him release in the condom inside you.
It took a while for the both of you to regain your breaths. Jaehyun’s chest was heaving up and down as you rest your head on top of it, not brave enough to break the silence.
“I’m sorry”, he finally said and started petting your hair lovingly.
“About what?”
The bed was foreign and small but you both stayed still, wanting to bask a little more in the peacefulness of the moment.
“About getting so possessive, and saying all these things out of jealousy. I acted just like him..”
You kissed his left peck, listening to his heart that was starting to beat in a faster pace.
“Jaehyun, you’re nothing like Yuta. I get how you felt, I feel the same way when I think about you with Naeun”
He took your hand that was resting on his abs and planted a kiss on your palm. Your heart did a flip and you were pressed so close together, he sure must have felt it.
“I should have told you about her sooner. About the fights and how I let her go because of you. I was in denial about my feelings for you because-“
He stopped mid sentence, wary of the way his words would come off to you. Jaehyun was a proud man, but he opened up his heart tonight, admitting he was in love with you. He had already exposed so much of himself that you gave him the time he needed to organize his thoughts.
“Because I was insecure. That you would never like someone like me. That Naeun was right. That you were only interested in playing pretend with me and didn’t mean any of the things you said, and I let myself get carried away in a lie”
You and Jaehyun were two lost souls, trying to break free from the constraints your insecurities built up for you. You didn’t have to succumb to your masochistic tendencies anymore, wasting your time in heartless lovers because now you found him and he found you. Both unable to see any value in themselves, but more that willing to treasure the other. And that was enough for you.
“I’d be honored to be loved by someone like you. Baby.”
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failed221b-chill · 11 months
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Wednesday 10 May
Very bad shoulder. Doctor gave physio app immediate use access very gentle exercises to move and strengthen while resting, very helpful. Good doctor didnt rec any more couch to 5k. Good doctor recognised my body is fucked up lol. Blood test tomorrow to check rheumatoid factor and do auto antibody screen as a case of "well we havent checked these things yet so lets do that to rule them out too". Also got a cbt referral specifically to talk about chronic pain and fatigue which is good bc my grief counsellor and my usual therapist both arent qualified and comfy talking about that as much. And im allowed ibuprofen as long as i take it with meals and i stop if it hurts my tummy!!! Ibuprofen my beloved ive missed youuuuu
As of an hour ago got another new pain so monitoring that one too. Tried explaining to my housemate how my day has been and he was like how did u pull your shoulder and i forgot i hadnt told him about the my body is fucked and i probs have eds just waiting for the rheumatologist appointment to assess me, thing, so i had to suddenly go well... i did a pilates class friday that overstretched me and loosened me up too much and agonised me and then i moved my ribs too far out of place by simply lying on my tummy and then sitting up, and they moved my muscles ligaments tendons etc, so now i am in pain so bad i want to pass out and keep laughing bc thats always been my default reaction to pain, and i cant do shit without causing a domino effect everywhere else in my body... neck is baaad too but theres also physio exercises for me to do my neck on the app too so thats cool. Doc says i'll get a referral to a specialist after ive done 6weeks of at home physio through the app. Hyperfocused on it today so lets hope i can make it a habit and dont jsut forget to do it ever again.
Looking at the physio advice on what to do for shoulder pain muscle pull thing in the first 1-3 days, pretending everything was fine for most of yesterday and thinking it was just a stiff neck from sleeping funny was Not a good idea.
Resting.
Health thingies aside... my podcast podfic stats are so fun to check in on and see the world map get another country shaded in when theres another listener!!! Also aside from booking all these health appointments, i have done sweet fuck all today. Had nice video chat with mum. Binge watched leverage. Booked train home so i can get looked after by my folks and wont be at as much risk of pulling anything to get food etc. Train strikes so have to wait til sunday to travel to my family. So tired. Didnt nap today. Wishing i did. I usually nap in late afternoon atm bc exhaustion but i just kinda drifted through it instead still tired. Early bedtime meds again to try and have an early night and rest as much as possible.
Even in the health thingies aside paragraph the health thingies dominate. Oops. Its just very obvious and limiting atm. Hopefully i figure out better ways of managing and the physio helps and etc etc
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hobbitingryffindor · 3 years
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Don’t respond after 9 pm
So I've never written fanfic before, but apparently, I'm pissed at Jane. Please be kind, but also let me know if I should continue. I have a few other rules and scenes in mind. I have no idea if this will grow into anything more. Constructive feedback would be great.
___
Maura was ruminating. It was never good when she couldn’t get through her Saturday morning yoga session, but these days, it was becoming the norm. So after she finished her cup of tea, she locked herself in her yoga room, rolled out her yoga mat, and settled in with herself.
She had rules. They were new, and it was hard to keep to them some days, but they were there because she knew better. She knows she deserves more. She may not have had an attentive family growing up, but she knows her worth, or at least she’s gotten better at reminding herself. She knows what they have goes beyond friendship. She also knows it will never be more. Jane just keeps holding back the final piece of the puzzle. She could resign herself to a lifetime of this sexually charged and emotionally mediocre but never fulfilling relationship OR she could take a step back from Jane and a step forward for herself. But last night she forgot. She forgot the first rule she put in place almost a month ago.
1 - Don’t respond to Jane after 9 pm
Recognizing the anxious feeling that started in her chest, she told herself that it was a slip-up and it wouldn’t happen again. But she couldn’t help but grab her phone and reread last night’s messages.
10:36: J - Hey, you still up?
10:42: M - Just finished Bass’ enrichment and heading up to bed.
It had been such a simple response, it just floated out of her fingertips. She was so used to just always responding to Jane.
10:43: J- Enrichment? You can just say that you were in the sandbox hiding food for Bass to find.
10:44: M- Fine yes, I was reading his namesake’s new foreword in “Skeletal biology and bioarchaeology of the Northwestern Plains” while bass dug up the cactus leaves and strawberries I hid in his sandbox.
10:44: J- You make my night of watching the Sox lose seem like an exciting night
10:45: M- What can I say? We love to party over here.
10:45: J- I don’t know when it started, but you’ve gotten really good at sarcasm
10:46: M- You must be rubbing off on me ;-)
As Maura reread that line, she couldn’t help but cringe a little. She really couldn’t stop herself from going there last night, it was yet another small slip up, that showed how their friendship was always a little more than friendship.
10:59: J- I feel like I haven’t seen you at all this week, is the morgue backlogged?
11:04: M- It’s no busier than usual. Actually a little less so without a murder yet this month.
11:04: J- Give it time, Boston can’t go more than 2 weeks without a new murder. Have you been in court on other cases this week? I went to see if you could grab lunch a few times and I never caught you.
11:05: M- We must have just missed each other, I did lunch out of the office a few times.
11:07: J- You going to fancy places without me now?
11:09: M - Really Jane, any place that doesn’t allow jeans, you label as fancy. But no, a friend from my residency, Erica, did a few guest lectures at BCU. I caught one of her lectures and we had lunch a few times.
11:09: J- I see how it is, replacing me with other genii.
Reading this for a second time feels like a needle in her chest, last night it paralyzed her, she didn’t know how to respond. She wasn’t replacing Jane, per se. This was also the point last night where she realized her mistake in responding to Jane’s late text. Even now, she still isn’t sure she handled it correctly.
11:18: J- Any plans for tomorrow?
11:20 M- While genii is correct, you can just say geniuses, you don’t have to try so hard. And, no I’m not replacing you. I was planning on browsing Newbury St in the afternoon.
11:21 J- Great, so I’ll pick you up at 2, I’ll carry the bags and then we can hit up Eataly for dinner? We haven’t been there in a while.
11:25 M- That’s okay Jane, I know you don’t enjoy my long shopping ventures, you don’t have to come. And I’ve got dinner plans, I’m sorry. But I’ll see you Sunday night for dinner.
After that, it was radio silence from Jane. Even after all these years, all the social cues Jane’s helped her learn, she still doesn’t know how to read the silence. Last night she was torn. She wanted to hang out with Jane but didn’t. Now she had to live with rejecting Jane’s plans, and what felt like a rejection of Jane herself.
That’s what brought her here, meditating as the sun was rising, or trying to anyway. Maura shook herself out and realized she was going to need a little help this morning clearing her mind. So she opened up the Calm app and resigned herself to a guided meditation. Maura went through the motions of her day, finishing off with an overzealous stop at Diane Von Furstenberg’s on Newbury just because. She still hadn’t heard from Jane and was trying to tell herself it was okay, they were okay, they were just both adjusting to this new normal. Maura hadn’t figured out what this new normal was supposed to be, but she knew she was unhappy with how Jane and she were a couple in every way, except in the way that mattered. Their friendship was unhealthy as it was. If they were only going to be friends, Maura was going to start making space in her life for other friends and possibly a lover or two. She can’t pinpoint when it happened, but her very active and healthy sex life seemed to slowly dry up the closer she and Jane got.
______________
Dressed in her new Midi dress, and a brand new pair of St. Laurent sandals, she waived to Angela across the courtyard as she headed off to meet Erica. Driving to the Chart House, she couldn’t help but reflect and acknowledge that Eric’s timing was creating a good distraction for her. She and Erica had done their residencies together, they hadn’t been best of friends, but she was always warm to Maura and tried to include Maura in her social circle. A few years after Maura moved to Boston, she reached out when she landed in Providence doing a Post Doc Fellowship at Brown. They’d do dinner a few times a year, trade interesting journal articles, nothing special, but it was nice to have a friend outside of BPD. When BCU invited Erica to guest lecture for the week, Maura decided she’d just drop in on the first lecture, which led to a couple of lunches earlier in the week, and a celebration dinner as Erica was just offered a tenure track faculty position starting in the fall. Pulling up to the valet station, she decided that this was just what she needed to expand her social circle a bit. She’d enjoy her evening, celebrate Erica’s new position and enjoy the late spring evening.
______________
Like clockwork on Sunday around noontime, the Rizzoli’s started to filter into her home. Angela always led the parade, bringing groceries and starting the prep process. Over the next couple of hours Jane, her brothers, little TJ, Frost, Korsak, Kiki, and even Susie sometimes would wander in and fill her house. When she invited Angela to live in the guest house almost 4 years ago, she never thought it was going to be permanent, nor did she think she’d enjoy having her there as much as she does. For all of Angela’s meddling and snooping in Jane’s life, she’d been nothing but respectful of Maura’s boundaries and privacy. Maura treasured how their patchwork family considered her house their gathering place, when it was full, it felt like the warm home she yearned for as a child. The amazing dinners, even if sometimes unhealthy, were a vehicle for that love and inclusion Maura had spent over 30 years searching for. She’d found it with Jane and her family, but she still craves more. She wants more than a patchwork family, she wants her own family.
As Maura was finishing up working in the garden beds Tommy and TJ arrived. By the time she’d entered the kitchen freshly showered and ready for Angela to put her to work, she saw Jane and Frankie had joined Tommy in watching a basketball game. Maura greeted everyone while looking at the TV, she noticed no one was wearing a green jersey so she knew Boston wasn’t playing, which usually boded well for her couch and rugs. TJ was in his high chair feeding himself some plain pasta while Angela sang to him. Maura and Angela quickly fell into their rhythm with this week’s batch of Ragu simmering on the stove. By the time the lasagna was in the oven, Frost, Korsak, and Kiki had arrived and, Angela and Maura joined the gang in the living room to snack on some arancini before dinner.
While Maura and Angela always cooked, the most relaxing part of Sunday dinners was when Jane and Maura cleaned up. Never fail the boys would head out not long after dessert and the games were over. And Jane in her way of appreciating her mother would kick her back to the guest house for an early night, while she took charge of cleaning up the kitchen.
“Another glass of wine while you work?” Jane asked Maura while grabbing the bottle
Maura just put her glass in front of Jane while nodding for more. The pots and pans were washed, the dishwasher had already started its cycle and Jane and Maura were moving to the living room to straighten up before settling in to catch up on their week. Normally all this happened with a comfortable level of conversation between them, but tonight, there was a little more silence than usual. With blankets folded and the remote located, they settled into the couch, each sitting against an arm, facing each other.
“You know mom asked me how your date went last night, I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone” Jane started.
“It wasn’t a date, I told you I was going to dinner with Erica, she’s just accepted an offer at BCU.”
“No, you said you had lunch with Erica” with a slight hint of annoyance that only Maura could pick up on. “I didn’t know you guys were doing dinner, I thought you might have been hiding a new boyfriend from me”
“No, no new boyfriend Jane. Although that would be nice or maybe a girlfriend, I haven’t dated a woman since I first moved to Boston”
Jane nodded, her eyes a little bigger than normal, sometimes Maura could swear Jane forgot she was pansexual.
“What about you? You seeing anyone new?” Maura asked, mostly to take the heat off of her. She didn’t know what was worse, talking about her lackluster dating life or trying to appear supportive of Jane's dating life when all she wanted was to be the person dating Jane.
“No, although Frost mentioned his old college roommate is single. I can’t believe I’m even entertaining the idea of letting him set me up.”
“You should at least meet him, if Frost is setting you up, I’m sure he’s a good man.” Maura grinned through a fake smile.
“I don’t know” Jane responded, Maura saw the walls going up “ I don’t want to talk about dating. Is Erica going to move to Boston? You know you’ve never introduced us, are you scared I’ll embarrass you?” Jane half-joked, changing the topic.
“No Jane, you have to stop with the self-deprecating humor, you know I’m not embarrassed by you. And yes, she needs to finish teaching a summer seminar at Brown, and then she’ll move up here.” The next words fell out of her mouth as soon as they occurred to her “I should see if she wants to come to next Sunday’s dinner.” Seeing Jane’s small annoyance grow into jealously, she redirected. “She can meet everyone, but please don’t interrogate her for college stories. You already know I was weird and awkward, you don’t need more things to tease me about!”
Jane took the bait “Ohhhh, I didn’t even think of that! I wonder if she’s got pictures!!
Maura just rolled her eyes, relieved that the tension was broken. She really did want Jane and everyone else to accept Erica, she remembered what it was like moving back to Boston and not having anyone. The rest of the night passed quickly, Maura kept the topics to mostly work or Boston politics. Jane could rant about local politics for hours and it didn’t put Maura at risk of gazing at Jane like she wanted to take her upstairs. A little before 11, Jane sighed and made her excuses about getting back to Jo before she relieved herself on the rug again. Pre-rules Maura might have made some comment about how much wine Jane had and how she should stay the night. Post-rules Maura kept her mouth shut. As Maura locked the door behind Jane, she couldn’t help but hope that just maybe, with some delicate balancing, she’d be able to move on from Jane and keep her as a friend.
________
Later that week Maura found herself at the Robber with the whole group, even Susie joined them. Maura was finding her new footing and it felt nice, it gave her a boost of confidence. Jane no longer acted as her interpreter when Frost made a joke, Korsak no longer felt the need to censor his dirty jokes and Susie actually had a pretty foul mouth once she had a few drinks. More than ever she noticed how breaking down her walls, allowed others to break their own down around her. She didn’t feel like Queen of the Dead anymore, she was Maura. As the night stretched on the table shuffled around a bit, Korsak left to meet Kiki, Frankie and Nina joined, Susie went home and Frost tried his luck with a pretty blonde at the bar.
Maura didn’t even notice how slowly Jane crept to her, close enough that her side was against Maura and her arm draped behind Maura across the back of the booth. But she did notice when the vibe between Jane and her started to mirror that of Frankie and Nina, right down to Jane ordering Maura another drink before checking with her. Maura and Jane were a couple, they couldn’t help it. The small touches, the laughing into each other’s sides, even the stolen glances. It no longer felt like hanging out, it felt like they were on a double date. It was too much for Maura, she excused herself to the bathroom to regroup. Looking at herself in the mirror, she scolded herself. She had to get out of there, she needed more distance. How could she possibly have her own relationship if she always ended up with Jane?
“I didn’t realize how late it had was,” Maura said marching up to the booth. “I’m going to head home. I’ll see you all in the morning? Those cultures should be ready by 10, I’ll page you when I have the report ready.” All of a sudden Maura infused a formalness into the air that wasn’t there before. Frankie raised his eyebrows but said nothing. It was weird for Maura to leave without Jane, or at least inviting Jane back to her house.
“I’ll leave with you” Jane started to get up.
“Oh no, that’s fine, I’m parked just across the street. I’ll be fine, stay, enjoy the rest of your beer” Maura responded with a slightly stern note. Jane nodded, “Party pooper, leaving me with these love doves” gesturing to Frankie and Nina, while they responded with mock offense. As Maura walked away, she didn’t see Frankie lean in and whisper to Jane.
Once Maura settled into bed for the evening she decided it was time for her to get out there. Even if it meant her joining one of those annoying dating sites. It was better to be trying than pining. Last week Erica had suggested How About We, it was worth at least signing up. She decided that it couldn’t hurt more than she was already hurting. While she hadn’t opened up to Erica about how frustrated she was with her’s and Jane’s relationship, she had expressed a desire to get out there more and Erica had offered a few bits of advice. If she couldn’t go to Jane about this, it was nice to at least have another friend to commiserate with about dating. As soon as she completed her profile, her phone beeped and a notification popped up on the screen.
11:17 PM
Jane Rizzoli
You awake?
Clicking her screen off, Maura put her phone on her nightstand and turned over for what would be a very uncomfortable night’s sleep.
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scholastc · 4 years
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As of right now, everyone’s supposedly stuck at home trying to catch up on online classes. Well, if any of you are like me, you’re probably struggling to stay productive. I’ve been so distracted by social media, Netflix, and I’ve spent so much of my time asleep instead of doing schoolwork.
I’ve been on quarantine for about 2 weeks now, and I think I’ve figured out what works for me. With that, I decided it might be nice to make this post. I’d probably be coming back to this post even after the pandemic has died down, and I’m back home for the weekend with a ton of schoolwork to catch up on.
1. Make a study schedule!
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It always helps me stay productive when I have a schedule to follow. I personally set aside an hour or two every Sunday to list everything I have to get done during the week then schedule when I should accomplish each one. In doing this, I use the calendar app on my Mac and the Notion app (which is good for many other things, too!). I make sure to include the mini tasks I have to do to accomplish each big task so I don’t get too overwhelmed and stressed out about having to finish a big project all at once.
You can do this on a bullet journal or on a planner, too!
2. Get Ready!
Staying in bed is extremely tempting when you’re at home, but what really motivates me to start working and be productive is getting in the work mood. I always wake up at 7:30am, have breakfast, then shower, similar to my morning routine when I still had actual classes. Doing this the morning puts me in the working mood early which helps me maximize my time. 
3. Take breaks!
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(this actually should apply to every time we’re working, not just when you’re at home, but I’ll still include this cos its important hehe) 
I sometimes have the tendency of working nonstop for hours, especially now that I want to finish everything at once so I can go on and binge Netflix. The Focus To-Do app helps me avoid doing so. 
This app has two main features: the pomodoro timer and a task list. These features make it super easy for me to keep track of the tasks I have and the sub-tasks I have to do while also making sure I take 5-minute breaks in between 30 minutes of doing work. Taking study breaks is super important as it helps reduce stress and increase focus and efficiency.
4. Have your own workspace!
I personally don’t have my own proper desk at home. I used to study on my bed and struggled to be productive because I would fall asleep every so often. I settled with working in the dining room for a while, but I struggled to create quality work because of the noise outside my house and because my grandparents are always watching TV. As such, I made my own makeshift workplace. There’s a couch at the end of my bed that I use as a chair, and the foot of my bed served as my temporary table. Anywhere is good as long as it makes you feel productive!
(the content of this post is what personally works for me and are merely ideas as to how you can stay productive at home, too! I know I’m 2 weeks late, but I still thought it would be nice to look back at this post when I need it hehe) (stay safe everyone!!!!! always wash your hands and refrain from going outside when you don’t need to)
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sayedhusaini · 2 years
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Democrats and Media Do Not Want to Weaken Facebook, Just Commandeer Its Power to Censor
by Moderator
📷(Stock Catalog / Flickr)By Glenn Greenwald / SubstackMuch is revealed by who is bestowed hero status by the corporate media. This week's anointed avatar of stunning courage is Frances Haugen, a former Facebook product manager being widely hailed as a "whistleblower” for providing internal corporate documents to the Wall Street Journal relating to the various harms which Facebook and its other platforms (Instagram and WhatsApp) are allegedly causing.The social media giant hurts America and the world, this narrative maintains, by permitting misinformation to spread (presumably more so than cable outlets and mainstream newspapers do virtually every week); fostering body image neurosis in young girls through Instagram (presumably more so than fashion magazines, Hollywood and the music industry do with their glorification of young and perfectly-sculpted bodies); promoting polarizing political content in order to keep the citizenry enraged, balkanized and resentful and therefore more eager to stay engaged (presumably in contrast to corporate media outlets, which would never do such a thing); and, worst of all, by failing to sufficiently censor political content that contradicts liberal orthodoxies and diverges from decreed liberal Truth. On Tuesday, Haugen's star turn took her to Washington, where she spent the day testifying before the Senate about Facebook's dangerous refusal to censor even more content and ban even more users than they already do.There is no doubt, at least to me, that Facebook and Google are both grave menaces. Through consolidation, mergers and purchases of any potential competitors, their power far exceeds what is compatible with a healthy democracy. A bipartisan consensus has emerged on the House Antitrust Committee that these two corporate giants — along with Amazon and Apple — are all classic monopolies in violation of long-standing but rarely enforced antitrust laws. Their control over multiple huge platforms that they purchased enables them to punish and even destroy competitors, as we saw when Apple, Google and Amazon united to remove Parler from the internet forty-eight hours after leading Democrats demanded that action, right as Parler became the most-downloaded app in the country, or as Google suppresses Rumble videos in its dominant search feature as punishment for competing with Google's YouTube platform. Facebook and Twitter both suppressed reporting on the authentic documents about Joe Biden's business activities reported by The New York Post just weeks before the 2020 election. These social media giants also united to effectively remove the sitting elected President of the United States from the internet, prompting grave warnings from leaders across the democratic world about how anti-democratic their consolidated censorship power has become.But none of the swooning over this new Facebook heroine nor any of the other media assaults on Facebook have anything remotely to do with a concern over those genuine dangers. Congress has taken no steps to curb the influence of these Silicon Valley giants because Facebook and Google drown the establishment wings of both parties with enormous amounts of cash and pay well-connected lobbyists who are friends and former colleagues of key lawmakers to use their D.C. influence to block reform. With the exception of a few stalwarts, neither party's ruling wing really has any objection to this monopolistic power as long as it is exercised to advance their own interests.And that is Facebook's only real political problem: not that they are too powerful but that they are not using that power to censor enough content from the internet that offends the sensibilities and beliefs of Democratic Party leaders and their liberal followers, who now control the White House, the entire executive branch and both houses of Congress. Haugen herself, now guided by long-time Obama operative Bill Burton, has made explicitly clear that her grievance with her former employer is its refusal to censor more of what she regards as “hate, violence and misinformation.” In a 60 Minutes
interview on Sunday night, Haugen summarized her complaint about CEO Mark Zuckerberg this way: he “has allowed choices to be made where the side effects of those choices are that hateful and polarizing content gets more distribution and more reach." Haugen, gushed The New York Times’ censorship-desperate tech unit as she testified on Tuesday, is “calling for regulation of the technology and business model that amplifies hate and she’s not shy about comparing Facebook to tobacco.”Agitating for more online censorship has been a leading priority for the Democratic Party ever since they blamed social media platforms (along with WikiLeaks, Russia, Jill Stein, James Comey, The New York Times, and Bernie Bros) for the 2016 defeat of the rightful heir to the White House throne, Hillary Clinton. And this craving for censorship has been elevated into an even more urgent priority for their corporate media allies, due to the same belief that Facebook helped elect Trump but also because free speech on social media prevents them from maintaining a stranglehold on the flow of information by allowing ordinary, uncredentialed serfs to challenge, question and dispute their decrees or build a large audience that they cannot control. Destroying alternatives to their failing platforms is thus a means of self-preservation: realizing that they cannot convince audiences to trust their work or pay attention to it, they seek instead to create captive audiences by destroying or at least controlling any competitors to their pieties.As I have been reporting for more than a year, Democrats do not make any secret of their intent to co-opt Silicon Valley power to police political discourse and silence their enemies. Congressional Democrats have summoned the CEO's of Google, Facebook and Twitter four times in the last year to demand they censor more political speech. At the last Congressional inquisition in March, one Democrat after the next explicitly threatened the companies with legal and regulatory reprisals if they did not immediately start censoring more.A Pew survey from August shows that Democrats now overwhelmingly support internet censorship not only by tech giants but also by the government which their party now controls. In the name of "restricting misinformation,” more than 3/4 of Democrats want tech companies "to restrict false info online, even if it limits freedom of information,” and just under 2/3 of Democrats want the U.S. Government to control that flow of information over the internet:
The prevailing pro-censorship mindset of the Democratic Party is reflected not only by that definitive polling data but also by the increasingly brash and explicit statements of their leaders. At the end of 2020, Sen. Ed Markey (D-MA), newly elected after young leftist activists worked tirelessly on his behalf to fend off a primary challenge from the more centrist Rep. Joseph Kennedy III (D-MA), told Facebook's Zuckerberg exactly what the Democratic Party wanted. In sum, they demand more censorship:
This, and this alone, is the sole reason why there is so much adoration being constructed around the cult of this new disgruntled Facebook employee. What she provides, above all else, is a telegenic and seemingly informed “insider” face to tell Americans that Facebook is destroying their country and their world by allowing too much content to go uncensored, by permitting too many conversations among ordinary people that are, in the immortal worlds of the NYT's tech reporter Taylor Lorenz, “unfettered.”When Facebook, Google, Twitter and other Silicon Valley social media companies were created, they did not set out to become the nation's discourse police. Indeed, they affirmatively wanted not to do that. Their desire to avoid that role was due in part to the prevailing libertarian ideology of a free internet in that sub-culture. But it was also due to self-interest: the last thing social media companies wanted to be doing is looking for ways to remove and block people from using their product and, worse, inserting themselves into the middle of inflammatory political controversies. Corporations seek to avoid angering potential customers and users over political stances, not courting that anger.This censorship role was not one they so much sought as one that was foisted on them. It was not really until the 2016 election, when Democrats were obsessed with blaming social media giants (and pretty much everyone else except themselves) for their humiliating defeat, that pressure began escalating on these executives to start deleting content liberals deemed dangerous or false and banning their adversaries from using the platforms at all. As it always does, the censorship began by targeting widely disliked figures — Milo Yiannopoulos, Alex Jones and others deemed “dangerous” — so that few complained (and those who did could be vilified as sympathizers of the early offenders). Once entrenched, the censorship net then predictably and rapidly spread inward (as it invariably does) to encompass all sorts of anti-establishment dissidents on the right, the left, and everything in between. And no matter how much it widens, the complaints that it is not enough intensify. For those with the mentality of a censor, there can never be enough repression of dissent. And this plot to escalate censorship pressures found the perfect vessel in this stunningly brave and noble Facebook heretic who emerged this week from the shadows into the glaring spotlight. She became a cudgel that Washington politicians and their media allies could use to beat Facebook into submission to their censorship demands.In this dynamic we find what the tech and culture writer Curtis Yarvin calls "power leak.” This is a crucial concept for understanding how power is exercised in American oligarchy, and Yarvin's brilliant essay illuminates this reality as well as it can be described. Hyperbolically arguing that "Mark Zuckerberg has no power at all,” Yarvin points out that it may appear that the billionaire Facebook CEO is powerful because he can decide what will and will not be heard on the largest information distribution platform in the world. But in reality, Zuckerberg is no more powerful than the low-paid content moderators whom Facebook employs to hit the "delete” or "ban” button, since it is neither the Facebook moderators nor Zuckerberg himself who is truly making these decisions. They are just censoring as they are told, in obedience to rules handed down from on high. It is the corporate press and powerful Washington elites who are coercing Facebook and Google to censor in accordance with their wishes and ideology upon pain of punishment in the form of shame, stigma and even official legal and regulatory retaliation. Yarvin puts it this way:However, if Zuck is subject to some kind of oligarchic power, he is in exactly the same position as his own moderators. He exercises power, but it is not his power, because it is not his will. The power does not flow from him; it flows through him. This is why we can say honestly and seriously that he has no power. It is not his,
but someone else’s. . . .Zuck doesn’t want to do any of this. Nor do his users particularly want it. Rather, he is doing it because he is under pressure from the press. Duh. He cannot even admit that he is under duress—or his Vietcong guards might just snap, and shoot him like the Western running-dog capitalist he is….And what grants the press this terrifying power? The pure and beautiful power of the logos? What distinguishes a well-written poast, like this one, from an equally well-written Times op-ed? Nothing at all but prestige. In normal times, every sane CEO will comply unhesitatingly with the slightest whim of the legitimate press, just as they will comply unhesitatingly with a court order. That’s just how it is. To not call this power government is—just playing with words.As I have written before, this problem — whereby the government coerces private actors to censor for them — is not one that Yarvin was the first to recognize. The U.S. Supreme Court has held, since at least 1963, that the First Amendment's "free speech” clause is violated when state officials issue enough threats and other forms of pressure that essentially leave the private actor with no real choice but to censor in accordance with the demands of state officials. Whether we are legally at the point where that constitutional line has been crossed by the increasingly blunt bullying tactics of Democratic lawmakers and executive branch officials is a question likely to be resolved in the courts. But whatever else is true, this pressure is very real and stark and reveals that the real goal of Democrats is not to weaken Facebook but to capture its vast power for their own nefarious ends.There is another issue raised by this week's events that requires ample caution as well. The canonized Facebook whistleblower and her journalist supporters are claiming that what Facebook fears most is repeal or reform of Section 230, the legislative provision that provides immunity to social media companies for defamatory or other harmful material published by their users. That section means that if a Facebook user or YouTube host publishes legally actionable content, the social media companies themselves cannot be held liable. There may be ways to reform Section 230 that can reduce the incentive to impose censorship, such as denying that valuable protection to any platform that censors, instead making it available only to those who truly allow an unmoderated platform to thrive. But such a proposal has little support in Washington. What is far more likely is that Section 230 will be "modified” to impose greater content moderation obligations on all social media companies.Far from threatening Facebook and Google, such a legal change could be the greatest gift one can give them, which is why their executives are often seen calling on Congress to regulate the social media industry. Any legal scheme that requires every post and comment to be moderated would demand enormous resources — gigantic teams of paid experts and consultants to assess "misinformation” and "hate speech” and veritable armies of employees to carry out their decrees. Only the established giants such as Facebook and Google would be able to comply with such a regimen, while other competitors — including large but still-smaller ones such as Twitter — would drown in those requirements. And still-smaller challengers to the hegemony of Facebook and Google, such as Substack and Rumble, could never survive. In other words, any attempt by Congress to impose greater content moderation obligations — which is exactly what they are threatening — would destroy whatever possibility remains for competitors to arise and would, in particular, destroy any platforms seeking to protect free discourse. That would be the consequence by design, which is why one should be very wary of any attempt to pretend that Facebook and Google fear such legislative adjustments.There are real dangers posed by allowing companies such as Facebook and Google to amass the power they have now consolidated. But very little of the activism and
anger from the media and Washington toward these companies is designed to fracture or limit that power. It is designed, instead, to transfer that power to other authorities who can then wield it for their own interests. The only thing more alarming than Facebook and Google controlling and policing our political discourse is allowing elites from one of the political parties in Washington and their corporate media outlets to assume the role of overseer, as they are absolutely committed to doing. Far from being some noble whistleblower, Frances Haugen is just their latest tool to exploit for their scheme to use the power of social media giants to control political discourse in accordance with their own views and interests.
Correction, Oct. 5, 2021, 5:59 pm ET: This article was edited to reflect that just under 2/3 of Democrats favor U.S. Government censorship of the internet in the name of fighting misinformation, not just over.
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“Finding the Captivating Dialogue for You”
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④ How-to-do Feature ┊ ᴬˡˡ ᵒᶠ ᵃⁿ ᵃⁿᵉᶜᵈᵒᵗᵉ ˢᵒ ᵃʳᶦᵈ ᵃⁿᵈ ᵃˡˡᵘʳᶦⁿᵍ ᵃᵗ ᵒⁿᶜᵉ··· ᶜᵃⁿ ᵇᵉᶜᵒᵐᵉ ᵃ ᶜᵒᵐᶦᶜ ᶜᵃᵖᵗᵘʳᶦⁿᵍ ᵗʰᵉ ᶜᵒʳᵉˢ ᵒᶠ ᶜᵒˡᵒʳᵉᵈ ᶜᵒʳⁿᵉᵃˢ·
꒰⁺˚₊·₍₍loading...₎₎ ✎...۪۫❁ཻུ۪۪ -ˏˋ 🃏 ˊˎ-
༘✶ ㊉ ㈦〘 ⅯⅯ 〙⋆。˚𓆟 ༉ ║ Posted : 06/15/21° 。༄ ‧₊˚ ๑ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤ •ଓ.° 。❍ ㈩ ㊇
- - ——— ꒰ An article by Nicole “Nikki” Elaine S. Chua ꒱
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ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ₊·͟͟͟͟͟͟͞͞͞͞͞͞➳❥ ࿐ྂ—͙❬₊° ᶦ ᵃᵐ ᵃ ᵇˡᵒᵍᵍᵉʳ ᵃᶠᵗᵉʳ ᵃˡˡ·“= ‹⸙͎
Cure your boredom by finding something new! Enter the world of art and stories combined! Find the story to obsess over, only here on WEBTOON! Hold on, let me just shake out all the interpretative literary devices I had from my previous articles... There, much better! Welcome back to your favorite bunny—Nikki’s Tumblr blog! It feels a bit different here compared to when I am on Amino, to be honest. Yes, when I formally write without too many literary devices, my blogs smoothen like this, like it was polished with sandpaper or something. Anyway, I loosen up in order to display my love for something I’d like to offer to this world—one of those precious gems that have not been excavated in the realm of fandoms. Today, in this article, let’s enter the world of Webtoons and figure out 𝙝𝙤𝙬 𝙩𝙤 𝙨𝙩𝙖𝙧𝙩 𝙤𝙣 𝙒𝙀𝘽𝙏𝙊𝙊𝙉 (𝙇𝙞𝙣𝙚 𝙒𝙚𝙗𝙩𝙤𝙤𝙣𝙨) 𝙖𝙨 𝙖 𝙧𝙚𝙖𝙙𝙚𝙧!
Oh, hold on your horses! You’re asking what do I mean by Line Webtoons? My apologies for not explaining that before I bring you along this own carpet ride. To begin with this sudden class session, webtoons are webcomics that have a vertical reading format. In Korea, “manhwa” is often something you’d hear when the locals there refer to comics. These webtoons originated from South Korea, and now, they are rebranded by different companies with their hit titles. One of those brands is Naver Webtoon, and internationally, it is known as Line Webtoons. In 2019, it has now become WEBTOON, for short! Korean webtoons that are from Naver Webtoon have been officially translated into English, Chinese, Japanese, Indonesian, Thai, Spanish, French, and German languages in the present. At the same time, all these countries of the world wide web get to also be webtoon creators, too!
Comics are a mix of art and writing in multiple panels. Though unlike those readable from right to left, or the complete opposite of that, webtoons take advantage of vertical scrolling to reveal shocking key plot points and add more aesthetic in the blooming & stunning art they provide to the audience. They don’t upload once a month or year—in WEBTOON, there’s always something to read daily! Most WEBTOON series upload once a week, depending on its creator. As a reader, you’ll surely enjoy the vast options of webtoons to choose from reading at your own pace. There are many interesting genres, art styles, character designs, pairings, story lines, and themes to look forward to. The best part is, 𝙮𝙤𝙪 𝙘𝙖𝙣 𝙚𝙭𝙥𝙡𝙤𝙧𝙚 𝙖𝙡𝙡 𝙩𝙝𝙞𝙨, 𝙛𝙤𝙧 𝙛𝙧𝙚𝙚! There’s a perfect story to dwell into for all kinds of people, so if you’re curious in knowing how to begin reading, let’s go ahead and jump into the app!
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𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 ⓵: 𝗗𝗼𝘄𝗻𝗹𝗼𝗮𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗪𝗘𝗕𝗧𝗢𝗢𝗡 𝗮𝗽𝗽 𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗲𝘀𝘀 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗪𝗘𝗕𝗧𝗢𝗢𝗡 𝘀𝗶𝘁𝗲.
The first step to get started with WEBTOON is approaching its services, first! You If you haven’t encountered WEBTOON yet, you could either take a little peak behind its digital pages online. I recommend downloading the app to enjoy the WEBTOON experience to the maximum level. If your first language is not English, perhaps a more comfortable version of the app made for your location fortunately exists! Search for WEBTOON on the playstore, and you will spot the application in a flash. It is only 21 MB or megabytes big, so it is not painful to the phone storage.
However, if you want to save space, you can always take the other route and access the WEBTOON site here. You can search for WEBTOON on your device’s browser, and the link you see immediately will lead you to the destination you desire to land onto. The site is mostly used by personal computer users and those who cannot download the app. It functions the same way as the app, but not all the features, events, and other cool activities can be done here. So, I still suggest to head over to your device’s playstore to get the application!
𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 ⓶: 𝗦𝗶𝗴𝗻-𝘂𝗽 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗮𝗻 𝗮𝗰𝗰𝗼𝘂𝗻𝘁 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗪𝗘𝗕𝗧𝗢𝗢𝗡 𝗮𝗽𝗽.
Any app would instruct the user to create an account to use its services. For WEBTOON though, this is very worth it, for it gives you a chance to use your account to comment on WEBTOON episodes you adore, or subscribe to the series you want to follow and support. You can create an account using your email address and the password to access it personally. Just the same as any other process in signing-up for an account, you will type your own username. You could also your very own Facebook, Twitter, Google, or LINE account to enter, and your name on the site you’ve chosen to log-on with will become your name on WEBTOON.
It is editable, so don’t worry if your username so happened to be humiliating, and you absolutely must change it! Though, if you don’t want to create an account just yet, users can view webtoons with a press of a finger without signing up for anything, if you’d press the return key on your phone or if you’re browsing on the site. Once you submit your approval that you’ve read and understood the Terms of Use & Privacy Policy of WEBTOON, you can finally set foot on the real fun of webtoons!
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𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 ⓷: 𝗧𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 “𝗙𝗶𝗻𝗱 𝘆𝗼𝘂𝗿 𝘀𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗲𝘀” 𝗾𝘂𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝗻𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗲.
Okay, do not get confused! We’ll get to the rest of the areas of the app in a little bit! There’s a lot of things to do, now that we’ve finally arrived on WEBTOON platform itself. Though before being hyped at the things you are seeing right now, I’d like you to scroll down to the bottom of this “For You” section, and dig up the “Find your series” questionnaire to answer it. This is so that you can have an idea of what to expect here on WEBTOON, as well as what to read first. This is a questionnaire that will also introduce you to stories that you’d enjoy, without getting totally overwhelmed with content to stretch out into. No pressure in choosing, it will not affect how your account is set-up! Don’t worry about the results either. Answer as natural and honest as you can! This step is only applicable to those who are on the WEBTOON application. It is also optional to the reader, specifically if they are already used to reading webcomics and know what to expect.
Once you enter, it’d ask what are the genres you like. There is horror, comedy, thriller, fantasy, drama, romance, superhero, slice of life, action, and sci-fi. To clarify, slice of life does not literally mean a splitted life! It is a genre for stories that showcase the everyday life of a person, that are either relatable or engaging to read about. Choose as many genres as you want—it’s totally fine to check everything, or to choose one specific genre. Then, you can choose which art styles you prefer from the choices you see in front of your screen. Again, don’t worry about picking art styles—this is not a critical survey! Go ahead and pick many art styles you find pleasing to the eye. Then, you’ll get a list of webtoons recommended to you by the WEBTOON management! Easy, right?
You can take note of these titles given to you, or you can press on the webtoons you find interest in, and you will be taken to the webtoon’s contents in a jifty. That’s where you can read the description of the title’s plot, and you can instantly start reading if it strummed your heartstrings. You can continue discovering more stories to read from here, since the freedom is yours. Even so, there are still parts of the application to discuss that may give you an extra hand later on. Stick around this article for more of that, especially when you need an enthusiatic tour guide like me!
𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 ⓸: 𝗖𝗵𝗲𝗰𝗸 𝗼𝘂𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 “𝗢𝗿𝗶𝗴𝗶𝗻𝗮𝗹𝘀” 𝘁𝗮𝗯.
If you’re still following me, you may exit the questionnaire that you entered into a while ago. Now, if you scroll up, we’re back seeing graphics moving sideways at the front page. Oh, did you something catch your eye there? These graphics that WEBTOON fans usually call as “banners” (or, for me, personally—anyway,) are another way to gain interest in choosing stories to read. Long story short, when I became a WEBTOON reader, my all-time favorite webcomic from WEBTOON was first shown to me on a banner. (A very epic one, too!) Most of the webtoons shown here are in the “Originals” tab! From “For You,” press the Originals tab next. These are the tenths of webtoons that you can also read here on WEBTOON. The image is just one section of that. If you can observe, there are the seven days of the week stated at the top of these webtoons, under the word, “Daily.” You might be asking why is this section called, “Originals.” All these webtoons found under this tab are in partnership with the WEBTOON management, and these stories release new episodes weekly!
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That simply means that the creators of these webtoons are working together with WEBTOON to share their stories with us, and what’s the best thing? They get to tell their stories, while fulfilling their dream full-time job as a paid webcomic creator! Their work is now known as “WEBTOON ORIGINALs,” though before, they used to be “Featured Webtoons.” Everyday, various webtoons of different genres update with new parts to continue the story from where they left off previously, so there’s definitely something to look forward to from Mondays to Sundays. There are also more choices here than those in the questionnaire, so if you weren’t contented with what you got from answering questions, you can also come here to pick out stories. There are also webtoons under “Completed,” and we’ll get to those in a bit. If you’d ask me what I usually do on Originals, I read everything in general, so I never run out of things to read, but I’m more fond of fantasy genres. You can also choose webtoons from all days of the week, so you can keep reading something everyday before going to school or work, or perhaps, when you’re about to sleep.
𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 ⓹: 𝗘𝘅𝗽𝗹𝗼𝗿𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 “𝗖𝗮𝗻𝘃𝗮𝘀” 𝘁𝗮𝗯.
Now, there must be another question in your head. “How are these webcomic creators chosen to be featured, or have their work included under WEBTOON ORIGINALs?” There are a couple of ways, though, we’ll focus on this canvas of ideas for this article. Usually, creators are discovered on the fan submissions area of the application. Yes, you heard me right! If you are someone who loves drawing comics as well, then you can give this opportunity a shot and meet other aspiring creators here on “Canvas!” So, let’s move from the “Originals” tab and head straight into the “Canvas” section. The webtoons here are under the word, “Spotlight.” It’s simply because these webtoons are uploaded by other webcomic creators who are not affiliated by WEBTOON, yet. So, you could say that this is the wider scope of webtoons to look through. The best thing about “Canvas” which used to be “Discover,” is the fact that we can support these writers and/or artists by reading their stories.
WEBTOON is a platform perfect for people to test the waves of being a webcomic creator. At the same time, they are given the chance to gain a community of a readers that you could also be a part of! However, since these webtoons labeled as “CANVAS WEBTOONs,” are not fully paid by WEBTOON, there is no guarantee that they’ll upload episodes every week. They are free to upload on their own running schedule, but in return, they are also free to create any story they like, as long as it follows the WEBTOON guidelines. Just a brief heads-up, you must have a computer or laptop, in order to upload your own webcomic on WEBTOON. For us readers, it’s a big chance for us to find stories we’ll fall in love with—the one that will make us invested and devoted to how the story continues. If you give the CANVAS WEBTOON more support, who knows? You might be a part of their life accomplishment journey to doing what they love for a living. Very heartwarming, I see.
𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 ⓺: 𝗜𝗳 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗮𝗿𝗲 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗿𝗲𝘀𝘁𝗲𝗱, 𝘁𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗮 𝗴𝗹𝗶𝗺𝗽𝘀𝗲 𝗮𝘁 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗿𝗮𝗻𝗸𝗶𝗻𝗴𝘀 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲 𝘀𝗲𝗰𝘁𝗶𝗼𝗻𝘀.
We’ve already seen all the webtoons that the app has to offer to us. Despite that, there’s a chance that you still don’t know what stories pique the elements you like in a plot. Now that you know that there are more webtoons to search for on the WEBTOON app, you might need a guide or factor to know what’s the best story to try out. This is why the rankings and genre sections exist on the app! You can view the rankings of WEBTOON ORIGINALs and CANVAS WEBTOONs in their respective tabs. For ORIGINALs, you can click on the badge-like icon to the top right, while in CANVAS, you can see the rankings immediately. If you want to see the complete rankings list for CANVAS WEBTOONs, pressing the arrow at the right side of the rankings preview will do the trick! This step is for users who cannot decide based on what gem of a webtoon preview has caught their attention. If you'd like to find out what webtoons are popular overall, or in their corresponding genres, be sure to use this feature to weigh the odds. We are people who are influenced by whatever is loved by many, after all.
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If ten genres weren't enough choices during the questionnaire, well, thankfully there is more to play with! In the genre sections of both types of webtoons on WEBTOON, which you can see alongside the rankings, you can also view webtoons listed under the supernatural, mystery, sports, historical, heartwarming, and informative genres! So, in total, there are 16 genres to step into, and that's a plenty! In that said area, you can tell which genres have the best stories based on how many people read each webtoon. You can also sort these webtoons by interests, likes, or date. Just press the "Genres" button next to the "Daily" or "Spotlight" text on either tabs. The "sorting the webtoons by interests" option would depend on what your account has read, so far. These features are really handy to introduce to you new webtoons to take your eyes on or pay attention to.
𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 ⓻: 𝗨𝘀𝗲 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲𝘀 𝗼𝗻 𝘁𝗵𝗲 “𝗠𝘆” 𝘁𝗮𝗯.
I suppose you've already chosen a webtoon to read, or maybe you're already into collecting webtoon titles to remember reading. Regardless, let's make things a little easier. You'd need your account, first! If you haven't created one yet, head to the log-in page and go back to Step No. 2. Catch up here when you're done, alright? If you’re already here, let me take you a stroll around this “My” tab. This section has list of features that are for the account’s convenience and personalization. It tells you what webtoons episodes have you recently read, downloaded, commented, and unlocked. It also states what webtoons have you subscribed to. Oh, yes, you can do all these things for your favorite stories on WEBTOON! To try that out, go to your chosen webtoon to read. As a reader, you are given the chance to rate the webtoon from 1 to 10—whether it is an ORIGINAL or CANVAS-type. That also makes heads turn away or stare closer at the stories, to see if they are worthy of their time.
Just like how subscriptions work on Youtube or any other platform, subscribing to a webtoon with your account means that you’ll get notifications whenever it uploads. It’s also easier to access subscribed webtoons through the “My” tab, instead of continously searching for your favorite stories all over the application or site as if you’re in a never-ending maze. You can track down the episodes you’ve downloaded for offline use as well, which comes in great situations where wifi is not available. Be aware that downloaded episodes will remain on your account for 30 days only, however. After 30 days, you may download the episodes again. Commenting on episodes can give you interaction with other readers’ ideas—those reactions, arguments, discussions, and, well! You could even talk about romantic pairing wars and all that’s fizzling in the premise of the story. With this section of the app, your account will be able to be fit and active, while it gives access to more parts of WEBTOON—including the possession of fast pass coins to unlock episodes for early reading! Wait a minute. Why must we, and how do we do that?
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𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 ⓼: 𝗧𝗮𝗸𝗲 𝗮𝗱𝘃𝗮𝗻𝘁𝗮𝗴𝗲 𝗼𝗳 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗳𝗮𝘀𝘁 𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗰𝗼𝗶𝗻𝘀 𝗲𝘃𝗲𝗻𝘁.
Fast pass on WEBTOON allows you to read episodes before they are publicly released. In other words, you can gain early access to your most awaited ORIGINAL WEBTOONs’ episodes, especially when they get on that gripping cliffhanger that makes you want to go crazy with what happens next! The question is, how can we use fast pass? We can do that with coins called, “fast pass coins.” This in-app currency will permit you to avail one fast pass episode every five coins. In order to get coins, however, there is real money transactions involved. Though, do not fret, because you do not need to spend a dime or a single peso over buying fast pass episodes! WEBTOON offers users to gain five or more fast pass coins through events in the app.
These vary from having to log-in in 7 days, or read similarly themed webtoons that are featured per event. It’s free to do, though, they do not come by all the time—events do not run forever, after all. So, take on the challenge when it arrives, and get yourself some fast pass episodes to enjoy! One benefit in taking part in fast pass coins events is reading new stories that you’ve never tried peaking into before, because who knows when will it become your top webtoon choice in the future? Take it for me—one webtoon became my favorite when the first fast pass coins event entitled, “Climb the Tower challenge,” occured. I participated and had climbed 100 episodes, and now here I am chilling with floors and betrayal!
If you haven’t asked, all fast pass coins given to each webtoon will have a part of its value given to the creators of the said stories. In other words, it’s like directly supporting the artists, writers, and creators of the stories you love! This step can only be done to ORIGINAL WEBTOONs. CANVAS WEBTOONs do not have fast pass, though its creators can provide Patreon accounts where fans can donate or give thanks for their eloquent and awesome stories to tell.
𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 ⓽: 𝗗𝘄𝗲𝗹𝗹 𝗶𝗻𝘁𝗼 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗖𝗼𝗺𝗽𝗹𝗲𝘁𝗲𝗱 𝘄𝗲𝗯𝘁𝗼𝗼𝗻𝘀 𝘄𝗶𝘁𝗵 𝘁𝗵𝗲 𝗱𝗮𝗶𝗹𝘆 𝗽𝗮𝘀𝘀 𝗳𝗲𝗮𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲.
Remember when I mentioned “completed” webtoons prior to this step? It’s interesting that there also webtoons that have ended, so there is a section for WEBTOON ORIGINALs that have ended in the “Originals” tab. Here, you can still binge-read completed webtoons for as many times you want to, and you can also gain a collection of read finished webtoons on your proud wall. The satisfaction is there when you finish a story—but, wait a minute. We are familiar with fast pass, now, what’s up with this daily pass? For some completed webtoons, they are readable with the daily pass feature. This makes a webtoon’s episodes first episode public for reading, but the twist is, to read the next episodes, you must come back everyday to continue. Episodes in the middle until the end of the story are locked, and can only be carried on if you’ve lended a daily pass entry for it to be opened for a limited time. Then, you can access the next episodes in the following days. Tedious as it may be, you could also pay for fast pass coins to read these specific completed webtoons quicker.
However, if your route is free reading, it is also a fulfilling experience to follow a story as if it was still uploading everyday, instead of reading it in one sitting. This is the patience, yet satisfaction, that can be acquired from daily pass. That is also the goal of WEBTOON for implementing such a feature to their application. You don’t have to pay for anything if you don’t want to speed up your time in reading. This step is definitely for you, if you’re already reading ongoing webtoons, but want to find more stories in the completed section. Trust me, the stories we got here with the daily pass feature were real hits back in the day—somehow, the dust on their covers will be swept away when you touch it. It’s worth it, so why not give it a shot? I heard that one completed webtoon here was recently adaptated into an anime, another has been published physically, while the other was given a live-action K-drama on Netflix! Let’s see if you can figure out which stories these are!
𝗦𝘁𝗲𝗽 ⓾: 𝗞𝗲𝗲𝗽 𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝗮𝗻𝗱 𝗱𝗶𝘀𝗰𝗼𝘃𝗲𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴 𝘄𝗲𝗯𝘁𝗼𝗼𝗻𝘀!
So, once you’ve found your beloved webtoons, fully invested into them with your account, made use of fast pass, and indulge into daily pass, the only thing left to do to begin on WEBTOON is to stick to it! Keep being a WEBTOON reader, and enjoy as many webtoons as you’d like. As you keep being on the application or site, you will encounter more features of WEBTOON, and maybe, as you stick around, more surprises & stories will be coming your way. There’s the fan translation area to explore, where you can translate the webtoons you’d love to support and be a contributor to its spread to other languages. There are thousands of CANVAS WEBTOONs being promoted in the front page for explorers to uncover reading. Spotlights at the bottom of the front page compile webtoons together, and you’d get to see more webtoons that may be under the spotlighted theme you adore!
You will be a part of this passionate WEBTOON community, and I’d like to thank you if you keep engaging into this craft as a reader. WEBTOON is a group of people who loves comics, and webcomics alike. It’s a place where creators and readers get to connect, at the same time, reach for their dreams. This is where their imaginations sprint wild—the happiness, sadness, anger, fear, worry, doubt, cheer, and excitement at every panel scrolling down your devices. You will be joining along with its growth, as well as all webcomic creators trying out on the platform, that WEBTOON sincerely cares for, wherever or whoever they are. You can witness how its stories will not only become panels and dialogue, but also animation, live-action, physical books, and other media types all around the world.
Do continue finding the captivating dialogue for you in WEBTOON, because for sure, it will become the message you will hold onto for life. Dramatic Nikki aside, thank you very much for reading this article! I had a blast—almost like I was going to be blasted on a rocket ship to Mars, while I was writing this feature. I hope my steps were able to help you get started on WEBTOON, and I’d like to bid you all the best on your personal voyage here. I believe each story of how we became attached to something is very significant, so take this moment to make it a memorable event in your life. Once more, thank you for reading! Come back again in another blog in the unknown future, where my fantasies become realities! A Nikki reminder: don’t just be ordinary when everyone is doing wrong—be unORDINARY, right & just, and continue to climb without holding back!
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ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ · ** ˚ . . + ㅤㅤ · ⋆ * . * . . · . · .˚ ⊹ · * ✧
ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ⋆ · * . · ㅤㅤ . · · .. . . · + .
ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ. · + . *
ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ⋆ * . * . .
ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤㅤ ㅤ . · ·
ㅤㅤ﹙dedication. ﹚ ୨˚୧ ˚ ༘♡.↳ ₊˚‧
This blog is dedicated to you who is like me, and him who is like her. Both webtoon characters that I salute the most—and that beautiful set of panels that has become my lifestory. May you be in work for ten years or five years, I will cherish you, with this shining sword—diamond, ADAMAS.
ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ
ㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤㅤ﹋﹋﹌﹌﹌「 🗼 」﹌﹌﹌﹋﹋
ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ㅤㅤㅤ ┊彡 Credits
➥ Cover Edit
➫ WEBTOON app
ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ
➥ First Blog Dividers
➫ Soara Academy
ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ
➥ The Rest of the Blog Dividers
➫ WEBTOON app
ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ
➥ Source of Information
➫ Webtoon Wikipedia page
➫ WEBTOON (Line Webtoon) Wikipedia page
➫ My own knowledge as a WEBTOON reader
ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ﹋﹋﹌﹌﹌「 end. 」﹌﹌﹌﹋﹋
...Are you asking me if I wanted to be a WEBTOON ambassador...? Yes, but I have no social media influence. I'm just a small bunny in a burrow who loves talking and helping people get to know more about WEBTOON. Also, thank you for liking this, cheezbot. You're such a cute Tumblr bot, indeed.
ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ⭆ Back to Homepage ⭅
⇦ Previous Blogㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤㅤ ㅤ ㅤ
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choices-and-voices · 3 years
Note
hi sorry if this has already been asked somewhere but im was wondering if you had any tips on how to get the best experience without having to pay ?
Hi there! Don’t worry, this question hasn’t been asked before, and I am honestly super flattered that you value my opinion enough to ask it ☺️ I’m not sure how helpful my tips will be because I don’t exactly consider myself an expert in this, but here are some things that came to mind! I’ve gone into quite a bit of detail, but if you want a quicker overview, just stick to the bold headings. Also, if any of the people reading this have good tips of their own, please lmk! I’m always learning new things about how to do this too 💕
1. This one’s a bit obvious, but still – take the opportunities that the game gives you to earn free diamonds. That means watching the bonus ads every day (5 diamonds/day), playing through chapters as often as you can (including replaying old books if there are no new releases – 2 diamonds/chapter), and watching ads at the end of book chapters for an extra diamond. Obviously, all this is a bit of a balancing act – you want to be playing Choices often enough to build up your diamonds, but not so often that it takes over your life and makes you feel frustrated, because what’s the point of it if it’s not fun anymore, y’know? So I’ve always been careful not to overdo it. Even if all you do is watch the bonus ads every day, that’s 35 diamonds/week – basically, one big diamond scene a week – which is honestly not too shabby.
2. At any one time, only play 1-2 books that you’re really invested in, and try to supplement that with another 2-3 books that you’re not really invested in or are replaying just for diamonds. As tempting as it can be to rush through every good-looking book in the app all at once, that just leads to a situation where a) you’re trying to divide your free keys between waaay too many releases, and b) there are so many demands on you for diamonds, you never get to consistently spend them on anything. So I personally think it’s best to only read a couple of good books at once, and instead of marathoning them, break them up with chapters from less-good books – this builds up your diamond stash for spending on the good books. Which leads into my next point:
3. Don’t zip through books too fast – even if most of the chapters are already released, spreading them out helps you earn more diamonds for them in the meantime. I’m really lucky to have been playing Choices for so long that almost all the books were presented to me in weekly release format – if I downloaded the app for the first time today, and saw all the fully-released books on there, I feel like I would be way too overwhelmed to play. So I reckon that, even if a book isn’t technically a weekly release for you, make it a weekly release! You might decide to play all the books you’re really invested in on a particular day when you have more free time – say, a Sunday. Then, you have Monday-Saturday every week to earn diamonds for those books, and something to look forward to at the end of it all. As for what you do with those diamonds:
4. Be smart about what you spend diamonds on. There are a couple of different components to this tip – it involves things like a) figuring out which types of purchases are worth diamonds in general, b) figuring out which types of purchases you want to prioritise in certain books, and c) planning ahead before you start playing a book chapter about where you might want to spend diamonds. To address each of those things one-by-one:
a) Figure out which types of purchases are worth diamonds in general. Off the top of my head, there are 6 main types of diamond purchases in Choices: ‘friendly’ scenes with LIs (12-25 diamonds), ‘steamy’ scenes with LIs (25-30 diamonds), scenes with your whole friendship group, collectible items (e.g. the tapestry pieces in Bloodbound, the clues in Veil of Secrets, etc.), outfits, and pets. Your mileage may vary a lot on which of these are most important to you, so take my opinions with a grain of salt. But my general advice would be to i) prioritise group scenes above LI scenes, ii) prioritise ‘friendly’ LI scenes above ‘steamy’ LI scenes, iii) avoid collectibles, and iv) go for outfits and pets only if you really like the look of them. This advice is based on the fact that, firstly, I think you get a better experience of immersion in a book if you know a bit about all the characters around MC, rather than just about one LI; secondly, ‘friendly’ LI scenes tend to tell you more about the LI than ‘steamy’ scenes, which are often 80-90% copied-and-pasted erotica despite being more expensive; thirdly, collectibles are a massive drain on diamond stores, and almost always unlock quite short, generic scenes that it’s easy to find on Tumblr or YouTube; and fourthly, both outfits and pets don’t do much except appear in the story at key moments, which can be a really nice touch but is still only needed in moderation. Of course, there are exceptions to these rules, and you might find that those exceptions are sometimes book-specific. Which leads me to Part B of this point:
b) Figure out which types of purchases you want to prioritise in certain books. It’s all well and good for me to say that group scenes are usually better than LI scenes, but when I’m playing a book with an amazing LI but a pretty meh supporting cast (*cough cough* Myra Dixon carries Baby Bump on her shoulders *cough cough*), I obviously may need to adjust my spending habits slightly. Moreover, by focusing all your diamond spending on just one main thing per book – like Myra’s romance in Baby Bump, or the party’s side-quests in Blades of Light and Shadow, or the posse in Queen B – I think you end up with a much better playing experience, because you feel like you’re seeing at least one facet of the story in-depth instead of getting a patchy surface view of lots of different facets. For the most part, the purchases you prioritise in a book can mostly depend on personal taste, but there are a few books where some background knowledge might be helpful in the decision. Four things that I think are worth flagging are that i) the ‘competition books’ (America’s Most Eligible, Queen B, Hot Couture) do require regular outfit purchases to win, although winning isn’t that much better an experience than being runner-up; ii) Veil of Secrets and Nightbound are two books where it’s worth saving 30-35 diamonds for the final chapter, because your MC is forced to leave the small-town setting if you don’t; iii) Across the Void is a book that frequently invites you to spend diamonds to save characters’ lives, but their death arcs are honestly much better-written and more sensible than their survival arcs; and iv) the It Lives series is the only one where characters can die due to an accumulation of choices you make throughout the story, so maybe it’s worth keeping some diamonds in reserve for that one. Which just leaves us with one more sub-point:
c) Plan ahead before you start playing a book chapter about where you might want to spend diamonds. I want to take this opportunity to thank whichever people in the fandom maintain the Choices wiki, because oh my gosh, they are lifesavers. For the last year or so, my response whenever a new Choices chapter is released has been to wait a few hours, Google ‘[book name] choices’, open the wiki result, and skim through to check how many diamond choices are available & how much they cost. Because all the wiki includes are the possible responses to every choice presented – it doesn’t even state the wording of the choice itself – this is a relatively spoiler-free technique that helps a lot with big picture planning. For example, you might decide not to buy an early group scene because there’s a nicer-sounding LI scene later on, and come to think of it, you should replay a few more chapters of another book first to save up the diamonds for that scene. If you don’t mind encountering just a few more spoilers before you play the chapter, you can also scout out its diamond scenes in more detail by searching the relevant book or character tags on Tumblr, or by looking for a chapter stream on YouTube. You may decide that you don’t need to buy a diamond scene if you’ve already seen it played through by someone else, or alternatively, you may decide whether or not to buy a diamond scene based on how good it looks in an existing playthrough – in either case, these techniques can help you thoughtfully ration out the diamonds you have, instead of being caught off-guard whenever a diamond choice comes up.
5. On the subject of the Choices wiki, it’s also a great way to maximise your success in books without using diamonds. Whenever there’s a ‘right’ option to a choice that gives you a better outcome later in the chapter, that’s indicated in the wiki. So with a bit of pre-reading of the wiki before you play the chapter, and/or with the wiki open on a separate screen as you play, you can get the best outcome without having to buy that outfit or bonus scene that promised you ‘an advantage.’ Obviously, your mileage may vary on whether this method is actually worth it, or whether it takes all the fun out of Choices by ‘cheating’ at the gaming aspect. I personally view Choices as more of an interactive story app than a game I’m trying to beat, so I have no issue with this method, but opinions may differ and that’s okay.
6. If you’re really feeling like a lack of diamonds is limiting your playing experience, it may be best to start out with ‘cheaper’ books until you have more diamonds stored up. In this case, I’m using ‘cheaper’ to mean books where there are fewer diamond scenes, where diamond scenes are less expensive, and/or where diamond scenes don’t play as big a role in the plot. It can be hard to identify which books fit this bill, but as a general rule, it’s more likely to be the earlier-released ones or less-popular ones. Some which I’d recommend are the first few books of the Freshman series, the #LoveHacks series, the High School Story series, the Perfect Match series, Most Wanted, The Heist: Monaco, Wishful Thinking, Bachelorette Party, and The Royal Masquerade.
7. Finally, a really quick tip for making the most out of free keys – keys are used up as soon as you start a book chapter, and refresh ~every 3 hours. This means that, even if you don’t have time to play chapters every 3 hours, you should try to open the app roughly that often and just click to unlock a chapter. When you finally have time to play, you’ll have a whole lot of chapters ready to go plus another two refreshed keys, and you can power through them at whatever speed you need to fit in them into your break time or to earn diamonds for an upcoming release. Once again, this is a tip that may need to be practised in moderation, because you don’t want to be constantly interrupting your life to load up an app on your phone. But even if you just log in and unlock chapters every 6 hours, or every 12 hours, that’s still 2-4 extra chapters ready for you at the end of the day plus your two free keys.
I think that’s about all for my tips! Thanks for reading, and I hope it helped at least a bit ❤️
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monster-bait · 4 years
Text
FAE-bruary fill #2 “Phishing”
Anon: What do you think about a Fae figuring out how adapt to a modern world? Instead of meeting people in the woods they're using nigerian prince schemes
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Bingo in the Activity Center every Mon - Wed - Fri
Karaoke Saturday Nights! Every week at 4pm
Join us for the ice cream social this Thursday!
Evelyn sighed. She wasn’t sure when time had crept up on her so stealthily, so steadily. It seemed like only yesterday that she and Frank were wrangling the kids in the back of the old Ford wagon, driving across several states to see the Grand Canyon. Now Frank was gone and the kids had kids of their own, and she could no longer remember the route from the house she’d lived in for fifty years to the supermarket around the corner, where she’d shopped for as long a time.
The Pines boasted a wide lawn, backed up by seven acres of woodland, and a glassed-in deck overlooking it all. Deer and birds and squirrels were all regular visitors, with the occasional fox. The residents would crowd around the windows in the winter and enjoy the sun in the warmer months, wheelchairs locked in place.
Evelyn couldn’t remember when she’d gotten this old.
The shrill ringing of the phone pulled her from her ruminations, and she pulled herself slowly from her chair by the window to amble slowly to the desk.
“Hello?”
“Good afternoon, Ma’am. How are you today?”
The young man on the other end of the line had a pleasant, rolling voice, she thought as she answered his polite query. He reminded her of her eldest grandson, although it was rare that Patrick ever lifted his head from that confangled smartphone long enough to have a conversation, on the occasions he visited with his mother and sister.
“And who am I speaking with? May I have your name?”
She was smart enough to be weary. Time might have stolen her youth, her Frank, her ability to get around on her own, but it hadn’t stolen her wits, Evelyn thought proudly. She answered with her first name only, telling the young man flat out that she wasn’t giving him her social security number or credit card card information.
“Evelyn, I’m not interested in any of that,” he laughed in his silvery voice. “I’m merely calling from a quality control center, ensuring that you’re happy with your phone service and not experiencing any issues with your line.”
She could hear the smile in his voice, and felt her own mouth raise in response. He was polite and well-spoken, and hung up with only a few minutes later, after wishing her a lovely day. There. Not so feeble at all.
.
.
“Hello?”
Your voice was sharper than you intended it to be, but you were long past caring at that point. It had been a grueling few days. Moving mom should have been easy, should have taken a few hours at most, or so you’d thought: pack her clothes, a few framed photos, the afghan from the sofa, and then settle her into her new room at The Pines.
Things had not gone according to plan. 
Your good-for-nothing brother was missing in action, probably off at the track, and you’d been stuck hauling out the recliner Ma insisted on taking with her, not wanting to have to “break in” a new chair in her room, alone. Sorting the clothes had taken an entire afternoon: a pile for the church, a pile to give to your sister Mary, who lived clear across the country and surely wouldn’t want an octogenarian’s wardrobe, but you couldn’t tell your mother anything. 
Then there was the kitchen. “Ma, you don’t need to bring any of this stuff! I’m going to get it all packed up for you, I promise!” It had been no use. Your mother had come to terms with the fact that she couldn’t live alone anymore, not after her recent fall and the broken hip that had resulted. You traveled too much for work to be a dedicated caregiver and your brother couldn’t be trusted. Moving her into The Pines was the best solution, and one she’d accepted, eventually. 
Evidently that didn’t mean she was willing to accept anyone else going through the entire house, divvying up donations and bequeathments, things she could have been doing for years, and not the weekend she was meant to be moving.
“Ma, it’s not like we’re going to be selling anytime soon! I can pick you up on Sundays and we can go room by room!” 
As a result, you were cranky and tired and not in the mood for whoever the hell was on the phone.
“Good afternoon ma’am, how are you today?”
The voice on the other end of the line was pleasant and crisp with a generic friendliness, reminding you of a banker, or worse, a lawyer. You frowned in response. 
“I’m fine, what’s this about?” 
It was good you were still here, you thought. Your mother had let those smooth-talking bastards at QVC convince her to buy truck loads of their crap in years past, and now she was even more susceptible to their schemes.
“May I have your name, ma’am?”
“You may not,” you said testily, setting down the framed family photo you’d been holding, “not until you tell me what this is about.”
“I’m merely calling from a quality control center, ma’am, but I need to ensure I’m speaking to the right customer. Your name, please?”
The kid was unflappable, you’d give him that. His voice had never lost its smooth, rolling quality, but the joke was on him. You’d been born at night, but not last night. “You’re calling this number, don’t you think you ought to identify yourself first? How do you know you got customers here in the first place? Customers of what, by the way? ‘Cause we’re not interested in buying whatever the hell you’re selling.”
“Ma’am, I understand your concerns, and I assure that nothing is being sold and I’m not collecting any personal information, other than needing you to confirm your na—”
“Are you friggin’ hard of hearing? I’m not telling you anything until you tell me who you are and what this is about.”
A pause on the other end of the line was the only indication that you’d ruffled this smooth-talker’s feathers. You had the momentary thought to simply hang up, but decided that was just an invitation for them to call back. Call back and talk to Ma, and she’ll wind up giving this guy the security code to the house.
On the other side of the line, unbeknownst to you, the coolly-composed man rolled his eyes. Relatives. For the humans, time marched on. Time and technology, he’d learned. They’d wised up to the email schemes, over the years. His newest dabbling was the dating apps—Bumble and Tinder and Grindr and the rest of their ilk—he had accounts on each of them. His profiles were vague, giving just enough false information to lure in some unsuspecting human, and his smile was, obviously, irresistible. It was a reliable channel of names, that often came with the benefit of sexual dalliances, always a nice way to pass a few hours on this plane, but they also took work, more work than he was always willing to invest.
It had been a goldmine, this retirement community. Right on the edge of the forest, he could work from home, so to speak, dialing from room to room, collecting names and building his coffers. The residents changed often enough, and were always happy to hear from him. 
They were all so worried about their precious Visa cards that they never stopped to consider the most valuable thing they possessed, they gave away freely. 
He decided to try a different tactic, as you filled the dresser with clothing, aggravatedly shoving handfuls of slips and socks into a drawer.
“May I speak to the resident at this number, please?”
A red haze seemed to settle over your gaze, as the implication behind the politely-worded question revealed itself. The resident...of a retirement home. They want to talk to someone old and confused who won’t push back, not your cranky Hanover ass.
“What is your name?” you gritted out, barely keeping your composure as your mother piped up from the corner. 
“Gloria, who is it? Tell them I only want the newspaper on Sundays!”
“I want your name, and I want to speak to your supervisor right now.” Silence met you for several heartbeats. “Hello? I said—”
“I’m sorry ma’am, but there’s no supervisor on this line for you to speak to. If you would just—”
“What. Is. Your. Name.” You didn’t need to speak to anyone, you thought. You’d just reverse dial as soon as you hung up on this punk, getting the company’s name when they picked up again.
“You can’t just ask me that,” the smooth voice laughed on the other end, all traces of friendly professionalism gone, replaced instead by a hint of malice. Silvery and cold, all warmth gone, and you fought the instinct to throw the phone across the room. “You don’t ask me questions, I’m the one who—”
“Gloria, who was it? Did you tell them about the paper?”
You stared down at the disconnected receiver, quickly bending to unplug the cradle before you had to hear that voice again. 
“You know what? Joey’s right. We don’t need to pay for a phone line. I’m going to get you a cell phone, one with big numbers, and one of those alert necklaces. That way you don’t have to worry about falling. You can call me and Mary anytime you want, okay? Put your sweater on, let’s go to the store right now.”
You didn’t know who the creep was, and you didn’t want to find out, you thought, lifting the disconnected cordless phone base up. You wouldn’t even leave it for the staff to plug in. 
They were going to have to try a lot harder than that to get one over on Gloria Boniface. Let them try their scheme on somebody else. Not today, Satan.
On the other end of the disconnected line, the silvery-voiced man sighed. It didn’t matter, he thought. One room outside of his grasp, and it would change over soon enough. Time, for the humans, was a a raindrop in the sea for him, and time, as it always did, kept marching on. 
There would be a new name to gather tomorrow.
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thevelvetseries · 4 years
Text
Life’s Complicated (Part 1)
Overall Summary : When Bella Mikaelson was 17 she had a little baby girl. She went off to college and studied drama and music, while her parents looked after her daughter Camila Mikaelson. When she graduated she started auditioning for different movies and TV shows and ended up getting a role in the CW show Supernatural where she meets her new family.
Pairing : Alexander Calvert x Reader / Jared Padalecki x Reader (Platonic) / Jensen Ackles x Reader (Platonic) / Misha Collins x Reader (Platonic) / Genevieve Padalecki / Danneel Ackles
Warnings : Fluff, Angst, Smut, Semi Smut, Drinking
I decided to give the reader a name in this fic.
Series Masterlist / Main Masterlist
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My name is Bella Mikaelson. I’m 25 years old living in New York, Lower Manhattan with my 8 year old daughter. I’ve lived here my entire life. I graduated from New York University Tisch School of the Arts where I spent my time studying drama and music, and also in my free time did some photography. Ever since I was a little kid all I wanted to do was perform, tell stories whether it was through acting, writing or singing a song. I did musicals all throughout high school, but during my senior year I became pregnant with my boyfriend at the time Caleb, we had been dating since sophomore year. Everything was perfect, my parents came around and supported me the same with Caleb and his parents. Sadly during my second year of Uni, he passed away in a car accident leaving me and leaving Camila fatherless, but that didn’t mean she didn’t have some good father figures. That’s when I started working harder on my studies and starting adding more hours to my job so I could make more money to make sure my daughter would have a good life growing up. During my last year of University I got a modelling job, it wasn’t anything big but it paid well. Around that time I also joined an acting agency started getting little jobs doing adverts, then getting small role in TV shows nothing big, just one liners. I had saved up a lot of money at this point and hired an manger to help me get auditions. Around 2 months later of going on auditions I get to audition for Eric Kripke for his show Supernatural. During season 14 they were looking for a new hunter who Sam and Dean come across on a hunt. Near the end of the season. So we sent in a video tape since I was nowhere near where auditions were being held. Then a few weeks later I get a call saying they wanted me to come to Vancouver and audition in person. Let’s just say I ended up getting the role and I have been living in Vancouver now for the past 4 months with my daughter Camila. My mum also came with us until I got enough money to be able to pay for a nanny to help me look after Camila while I was at work. I also spent a few weeks before filming bingeing the whole seasons from 1-13 since I hadn’t ever watched the show before.
We are currently working on the season 14 finale episode before wrapping up before head out for hiatus. My contract had already been signed as I was wanted back for season 15 as well. However, I was only staying for half the season, as they were killing my character off in the upcoming season. I was currently on set, just finished filming a scene with Jared and Jensen in baby. It was now lunch. We all headed over to catering to grab something, I ended getting a chicken salad and grabbed myself 2 bottles of water and headed to the little seating area outside where we all sat during lunch. We only had one more scene to film before we were finished for the day and would be wrapped for the season. During hiatus we had different cons we would attend to but we also had time to relax and I couldn’t wait for that, to spend loads of time with my girl and take her on a mini holiday, as we never really been on a real holiday before.
I was currently eating my salad when Jared and Jensen came over after getting their food and sat down opposite to me on the bench. We were talking about what we were doing on our time off before convention season starts which I was being invited to as the viewers really welcomed my character Toni with open arms. It was like over night my life changed. I was now financially stable for one thing, so I could make sure Camila was well looked after which was the most important thing to me.
“So Bella, What are you going to be doing during hiatus?” Jared asked while eating a chicken sandwich.
“Thinking about going home fore a little while, back to New York. Cami hasn’t seen my parents in a little while, I could tell she is missing them a lot like me. So going home for a bit to relax doesn’t seem like a bad idea. Then maybe take her on a little mini holiday, just the two of us. What about you guys” I say.
He nods “Yeah. We’re going to do pretty much the same. I like having my family around. I miss them too much” Jensen agreed with his statement.
Throughout the rest of our lunch break we continue talking about little small things and what was going to happen during con season. Once we had finished lunch we headed over got some retouches as we had just eaten and then we headed into the library set to finished our last scene for the season.
It was currently around 8pm, sine we started filming early this morning we gad enough time to get all the shots we needed and got to head home a little later than normal as while shooting the final scene Jared and Jensen kept trying to make everyone laugh but we got through it and got all the shots we needed. I was getting my belongings from my trailer and FaceTime Camila as it was getting close to her bedtime and I never liked not saying goodnight to her, even though I was leaving I just like to make sure. I could get in traffic and I would be annoyed with myself for not doing when I had the chance.
“So how was you day sweetie?” I ask.
“It was good. I finished all my math homework even though I found hard, but I figured it out” she said proudly.
I smile. She always made me smile. “Well that’s good. I’m proud of you, keep that up. Don’t give up and you can do anything sweetie. So what did you end up having for dinner tonight?”
“SPAGHETTI AND MEATBALLS” she screamed. I start laughing as I know that’s her favourite meal in the world.
“Ohhh. I’m jealous. Hehe. Well I’m gonna just about to leave work right now to come home ok. I’m going to try and get home in time baby, but if I don’t I’m gonna say goodnight now ok.”
“Ok mummy. Goodnight. I love you.”
“I love you too my sweet baby”
“Goodnight”
“Sweet dreams petal.” Then we end the call and I finished putting my things away in my bags when a knock comes from my trailer door. I call for the person to come in, when Jensen pops in with Jared following him.
“Hey Bella” Jensen said while leaning on the counter and Jared sat down on the sofa.
“Hey, What do you guys need?” I ask while putting my laptop into its case with its charger.
“We forgot to ask you this at lunch today, we are having a BQQ in a couple weeks. It’ll be our to families as well at the Collins. Alex is coming we just spoke with him, now we are asking you? You think you’ll be free Sunday before the Cons start?” Jensen said.
“Errmmm… let me check my calendar.” I say and get out my phone and opening up my calendar app. I had nothing planned. “Nope, looks like I free that weekend.”
“Great! You’re coming then. I’ll text you the address, it’ll be at my house. Bring Camila too. It’ll be nice to have all little ones around together.” Jared said.
“Yeah” I said with a smile. We said our goodbyes and they headed off while I collected my packed bags and headed to my car and leaving and heading back to my Vancouver home. If I rushed I would make it just in time before Camila had to be in bed.
Life’s Complicated Tag-List 
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