#but i edit it for jokes no one is happy with mr beast in their notes
Text
Thomas And Friends Retrospective: Thomas and the Magic Railroad Theatrical Cut (Commission for Lachie V)
Hello all you happy people and i'ts back on the train gang for more Thomas the Tank Engine
For those of you just joining us, a recap: For the past year and a half or so, i've been covering the first five seasons of thomas the tank engine on and off for @lachievpoststhings, who comissioned these as a fan of the franchise to get an outsider's perspective and hopefully get less jokes about Henry being walled up for always and always. Your free to jump in here and i'll have a post of the restrospective so far soon after this review's finished.
The basics are one day the good Reverend Bawldry, a longtime railway enthusist, made a bedtime story for his son about trains with human faces, kept making more as the kid loved them, and eventually turned these stories into a series of succesful books. Decades later in the 80's, up and coming exec Brit Alcroft seeked to adapt these books to screen and using amazing modelwork, velvety narration from Ringo Starr, George Carlin, Micheal Angelis and more across both ponds, Thomas became a massive success. While his US airings needed a wraparound, it got one in the superb shinging time station, your standard "kids learn lessons in a place" show, except this one has a magical tiny george carlin named Mr Conductor who shows up to give advice and schemer
This glorious large ham cooks up halfbaked schemes, is distrusted by children, and makes every episode better just by existing.
So with this success Brit Alcroftt decided to take her big IP to where all big properties go: the big screen. Luckily for her Barry London, head of Paramount at the time, had a daughter who loved Thomas and greenlight the picture in 1995 with a deal inked by 1996 and a script on the way. Unluckily, sometime after London left the studio and the project was canned because new studio heads are vindictive bastards. See how Final Space was canned after a studio change and goofy movie was given NO advertising after the exec pushing for it left. Thankfully after a false start elsewhere for Alcroftt, she decided to self fiance, finding that the Isle of Mann offered tax breaks. Helping was that London landed at another studio, destination films, so with their major backing and the isle of man cut the film was good to go.
So with that the film got underway and as far as I can tell it was MOSTLY smooth apart from a mishap with a James model.Post.. was a diffrent beast. The film had drastic changes done to it after a test screening caused Execs to panic: they changed most of the voice cast since the voices for most of the main cast were seen as "too old" and the one for one of the big bads, Disel 10 "too scary". That'd be bad enough.. but then they decided to ax an ENTIRE CHARACTER, PT Boomer, who served as a human antagonist.
Shockingly the excutives doing a power meddle did nothing to actually salvage the film: it bombed at the box office, closed the door on any future thomas films and ended Britt Alcroft's time at her own company.
So that leaves us with some questions: Was the film THAT bad? Was the original cut, which we now have thanks to a blu ray specail edition in workprint form, any better? Was their any salvaging this mess or was it always a silly engine? and why was schemer left out?
While i'll never be able to figure out that last question, the rest I hope to answer by tackling both cuts in their own reviews. I'm tackinlg the theatrical first as while it's the second cut, ti's the one most people have seen and i'm not watching the work print till the review of the theatrical cut is finished as i'm judging it as most people watching it would: this is the version that's most complete, wildly avaliable and that most people have seen, so I want to view it on that merit, albeit with the understanding it was cut up quite a bit, so I am giving it a little leeway.
So join me under the cut for the maddening mysteries of the theatrical cut of thomas the tank engine. I warn you the film your about to hear about is nigh incomprehinsible, quite mad, and has alec baldwin acting like h'es taken all the drugs in the world. You've been warned. Let's begin.
So since i've already covered behind the scene's let's jump into the mishmash of scenes hastily cut together then horrifyingcally stitched back together by the studio. Because "Plot" is being more generous than this cut deserves.
So the film follows the fate of two worlds: the world of Shining Time Station and the world of Sodor where thomas and friends live, the two ends of Mr. Conductor's universe. What does that mean?
I think it's supposed to be metaphorical like saying my world.. but having a magical being say that and say that about two parallel worlds is just confusing. Did he create Sodor? Did whatever race the mr conductors are did? This is more confusing than a film about stupid train children should be.
This is also the film's approach to it's world building as a whole: just throw something in that's confusing and hard to parse, never fully explalin it and walk on to the next bit of insanity. I'm not asking for through, complex world building from a Thomas the Tank Engine film, i'm just asking for a world where any of the magic you set up makes any sense.
The two shows this comes from don't have this problem. There is weird shit in both universes.. but both universes are consitent. Sodor is a british island, exists in the 1920's, and has a massive railway ran by Sir Topham "The Fat Controller" hat. The trains all have faces and are wholly sentient and are still treated entirely as trains. That's.. it. It's just the 30's but with sentient trains. It takes getting used to, they cause tons of accidents and weird shit happens.. but it's simple.
Shining time has more magic and what not but it's still consistent: Mr C is a magical entity of some kind with a vast family, he lives in shining time but can travel the multiverse and visits sodor frequently, bringing back it's stories for the kids he mentors. There's also magical puppets in the jukebox. Neither thing is explained, but we really don't need one and how both Mr. C and the PUppets operate is consitent.
The film.. is as consistent as a Warner BRos Discovery exec. The film just sloppily stiches a bunch of magical concepts and cliches together , expects you to just accept it and move on. The problem is unlike thomas and shinging time, it piles so shit on that you have no choice but to ask questions. And yes im aware i'm not the film's target demo.. but the film's target demo, younger children.. still deserve some respect. Shining Time and Thomas never fell like they think the audience is morons and you should never treat children like idiots just to justify your sloppy plotting. And chidlren aside..adults still had to take their kids to this. 5 year olds can't buy movie tickets.. well they can but the theater has to be pretty fucking neglegent. The adults who were kind enough to take their kids to see this didn't deserve to have a confusing mess shoved on them.
Speaking of a confusing mess let's get back to the film. The Film has two major storylines across the two worlds which quickly overlap:
ON earth curious city kid Lily Stone, played by Maura Wilson, is sent to vist her grampy burnett, played by Peter Fonda who to his credit takes the roll seriously. Burnett has an assitant/sidekick/local orphan boy named Mutt who, given the two minutes i've seen of the workprint, marries her in that cut but here is just kinda.. there so Peter Fonda can explain his train backstory: he was once the conductor of Lady, a magical train that could cross betwen worlds and i'm just going to go ahead and get this started
Things the Film Just Wants you To Accept: 2
Lady was injured by Disel 10 , played by Neil crone. I'll point out the original actors when I do the workprint if you were curious. He's an evil Diesel who has a grappling claw and a confusing world domination plan. Burnett's spent his life trying to fix Lady with no luck.
Meanwhile on Sodor, Sir Hatt is going on vacay so he asked Mr. Conductor to go watch his stupid train children for him while he's away. We have a new Mr. C in this film I assume, as while the film never explains it the series did expalin it's swapping mr c's with Ringo Starr's versoin being the cousin of his succesor, the george carlin one. So I assume this is also a cousin as Mr. C also has one he also hands his hat off to. More on that towards the end and more on the ocusin in a bit. Point is new mr. c is played by Alec Baldwin.. and baldwin spends the whole film acting like he's tripping balls. Baldwin is hamming it up so hard trying to be a chldren's character he comes off like Mr. C took enoguh coke before comming to sodor that he dosen't come down for TWO DAYS. Baldwin mostly acts hammily, hyderactively and goofily. It dosen't work on it's own as it's way too over the top even for this film and trying way to hard. It is however a nice jolt of hilaroius nonsense in a film that's mostly confusing nonsense.
Anyways Mr C soon has a problem :his sparkle, his magic dust, is running out. And apparently if it runs out , the magic of sodor and shining time both dies with him. Or something.
Things the Film Just Wants you To Accept: 3
He dosen't notice at first, being late while Thomas and Friends deal with normal business: Thomas is just a tad late, and Gordon, the biggest engine, is being a pompus asshole about it. Gordon is also played by Crone, who adlibbed msot of his lines for both Diesel 10 and Gordon, to the point one line later in the film is just gordon lapsing into a rant about how clever he is, how smaller engines can neve rbe useful, and how he's the best. He did it, he broke Gordon down to his bare essentials.
The two are soon confronted by Disel 10 who someone passed the background check and unveils his plan: he's going to find and kill lady, which will destroy all the magic in sodor and some how make him god emperor of all trains.
Things the Film Just Wants you To Accept: 4
First he plans to kill all the trains and ambushes them at night. Mr C finds his magic isn't working which isn't good. His escape plan is as diabolical as it is horrifying: he's going to poor sugar in disel's gas tank.. by waving a bag of sugar at him
Things the Film just Wants You To Accept: 5
So Mr. C heads off on an epic quest to find his magic, facing off with goblins, a wall of hands, a bog of eternal stentch, chily down with the fire gang and the most dangerous foe of all, David Bowie's Crotch. And I just described Labyrinth because Mr. C's quest amounts to "Dick around looking for clues and get kidnapped by a train" and i'd rather be talking about Labyrinth again... so let's do. Having relistned to it thanks to my nephew putting it on a playlist while I was in the car, i"ve come to realize I was WAY too hard on chilli down. While the actual musical number hasn't aged great the actual music is a fucking banger, having a nice surreal feel, the best drug trip song that's ever drug trip songed. Good stuff.
So back to my neverending torment Mr. C has a nap/is barely concious after Disel nearly threw him off a bridge this time so he has a prophetic dream
Things the Film Just Wants You To Accept: 6
Yes apparently in this time Alec Baldwin is the Kwisatz Haderach
He sees a future where due to him being absent shining time has closed down. The kid are gone, Billy was replaced by a terrible actor, and Schemer is seemingly dead. Wait.. that all happened in the main timeline. How is he sure the interstellar jihad the end of shining time is something he can stop?
Well he isn't so he calls his cousin Mr C Junior for help. Sadly this dosen't mean we get Ringo Starr or George Carlin but instead Micheal E Rogers. While his agressive scottishness is charming, he can't save this character as Junior is just kinda annoying at best. He ALLGEDLY has an arc where he learns his lesson and becomes better.. but he's really just a dumbass who wastes all his uncle's dust and his own remaining dust. He's only here because SOMEONE has to bring lily to Sodor
So before we get to that, let's catch up on everyone else. Burnett's dog is apparently also injesting spike and thus makes sure LIly ends up at shining time and sees Junior briefly. She then gets settled in with grandpa bonds with Dodger, just kinda putters around and...
FATHER THE SLEEPER HAS AWAKENED okay so stupid train children next. For a Thomas the Tank Engine movie the engines.. really don't actually do much in the plot. It's something I didn't notice in the film itself as the cut tricks you into THINKING their doing more than they are, cutting to the engines every few scenes as thomas tries to find Mr Conductor and stop Disesel 10 and his two comedic minions I haven't mentiond till now , who Disel sends to find the magic railroad. They do. That's it.. that's all they've done all film.
So we instead get a bunch of scenes of Thomas saying he's going to do something then just.. I guess doing something. We get bits of James and Percy who were originally voiced by Micheal Angelis, but instead replaced to get younger voices.. and instead got voice actresses who didn't really try to make thems ound masculine, resulting in Gender Flip James and Percy. James in paticular sounds like a dikensian orphan. I will say Eddie Glenn does a really good job at thomas but he and Neil Crone are the only ones who really get their rolls right out of the voice cast. I don't doubt these va's are good nor judge them for this: they werne't given much to work with, with Crone given nothing to work with and simply improvising, and were likely given little time to prepare given the rushed production schedule for the recut.
The most Thom=as contributes is loosing a truck, that will be important later, and figuring out that Disel's after the buffers which somehow allow people to travel on the magic railroad.
Things This Film Just Wants you To Accept: I"m So Tired
He finds out too late but thanks to Junior who brought a child with him because fuck it, they find thomas' missing truck and thomas and Mara Wilson go back to reality.
A bad model of Thomas the film expects us to think is anywhere near acceptable
Things This Film Just Wants You To Accept: Stupid Train Models are for Cattle and Loveplay.
We do get a clever solution to the lady thing.. even if we never really get Burnett's backstory as that was cut because reasons. Since they have Sodor coal Lily suggests using it and I like it: it's a symbol of lady being both of this world and sodor. It's kind of cool in af ilm tha'ts mostly just confusing.
So lady returns to sodor, though Mr. C still thinks he and other Mr C who was busy telling Sir Topham Hat to go fuck himself and nearly getting murdered, using the last of his magic to save james, are dying as they still need that sweet sweet smack. I mean sparkle.. which is magical smack so it's better.
Before they can fix the crisis though Disel 10 shows up and we get a hilaroiusly green screneed ifnal chase as Burnet taunts his nemisis the sentient train. The chase scene.. is hilarously, horribly modleed and fun to watch. lady naturally wins, Disel 10 is left in the sludge but apparently comes back, and it's a happy end as Mara Wilson mixes well atter and railroad shavings to somehow create magic dust.
Things This Film Just Wants You To Accept: LONG LIVE THE STUPID TRAIN CHILDREN
So Mr C pases the cap on to his nephew who decides after his near death experince to man up finishing his nonexistant character arc. Mara wilson and co return home, the day is saved and the film just sorta ends.
That's.. the theatrical cut of Thomas and the Magic Railroad and as you can tell I was not a fan. It's entertaining for the most part and delightfully insane but i't sincoherence makes it REALLY hard to enjoy a lot of the time. As a Thomas film Thomas is barely a facotr in the plot, and as a shining time station film only two characters returned
Only. Two. Characters. Returned. The new characters are all bland cyphers, likely due to the cut changing. They TRY, Mara Wilson may of done this for the vacation but like Sir Micheal Caine before her she'll still work hard for the paycheck, but ther'es just nothing to hold onto. This film is a mess and I only recommend it if you have some friends to riff with, as I did with @jess-the-vampire or are good and baked. I was not but I hope to get some weed for my anxiety some day, and on that day I might watch this film. Oh who am I kidding i'm watching David Lynch's Dune and we all know it. Possibly with that episode of Sex and the City where Kyle Mclaclhan plays tennis shirtless at night as a prequel. His two best performances together at last.
So yeah not a big fan of this one. Not the worst thing i've covered but a hell of a film to unpack.. so you can imagine i'm just... PLEASED. AS. PUNCH. to be covering the other cut. Will be it be better? Worse? at least comprehnsible? Will I keep doing Dune refrences because I really fucking loved Part 2? All this and more will be answered next time but for now
#thomas and the magic railroad#thomas the tank engine#bad films#mara wilson#alec baldwin#henry fonda#animation#stop motion#thomas and friends#thomas#percy#gordon'#diesel 10#schemer#shining time station
4 notes
·
View notes
Text
bonding moment
#10k#20k#30k#40k#50k#60k#70k#aurora.txt#original post was about mr beast#but i edit it for jokes no one is happy with mr beast in their notes
71K notes
·
View notes
Text
You Make My Heart Smile
So, happy (belated) birthday, Tina @tnapki Your edits make me smile (pardon the pun) and I wanted to thank you for that and everything you bring to the fandom.
I based it on your GORGEOUS EDIT
I also made it about food cause it’s SO you. On AO3 HERE
Also thanks to the gorgeous Kait @an-awesome-wavve for being amazing and my part brainstorm, part beta, part researcher and part undercover partner in crime.
Renowned Chef Klaus Mikaelson has a bad reputation until he meets food blogger Caroline Forbes and has no idea how to handle her or the unfamiliar feelings she evokes, especially that annoying ability to make him smile.
3 May - Alinea - 1723 N. Halsted St, Chicago IL - 3pm
“I’m not going to do some stupid interview, you know I have other, more important things to do, right?”
Klaus Mikaelson didn’t do interviews. He didn’t need to because his accomplishments spoke for themselves. He hadn’t slogged away in kitchens since he was twelve and worked his way through culinary school and some of the best restaurants to waste his time.
Being a world-renowned chef owning not one, but four, three-Michelin-starred restaurants across the globe meant he could do whatever the hell he wanted.
But yet here she was running his life.
Still.
“Like yell at me? I mean, you’ve been doing that since we were little so I guess it’s nothing I haven’t experienced before. ”
“I knew I should have never mixed business and family,” he snapped. “You always throw our childhood back in my face as an excuse to insult my life choices.”
“Because it’s too easy not to,” she pouted, flicking a stray, blonde lock over her shoulder. “And, while I am unfortunately related to your sorry ass, I am also your publicist and this interview is good for your career.”
“I don’t need publicity.”
“Correction, you do need publicity,” she argued, her fork now attacking the very veal he’d cooked with more fervour than needed.
“Easy on the product, little sister,” Klaus growled, his protectiveness for his art on full display.
“Oh, silly me I thought it was already dead,” she shot back, tartly. “And before you interrupted, I was going to say that, yes maybe you shouldn’t need publicity given your career achievements, but that was before you dropped an entree on the food critic’s lap from the Chicago Tribune, fired your sous chef in front of the entire restaurant and insulted Gordon Ramsey on national television.”
“Ramsey is a sell out, I stand by my comments,” he muttered. “The critic had it coming and, now you mention it, so too did that sorry excuse for a sous chef.”
“You realise people call you the angry chef, right?”
“Better than the naked chef I suppose.” He shrugged his shoulders indifferently. Klaus wasn’t in the business for gimmicks or to secure his own cooking program. He took his food seriously and there was nothing wrong with that.
“At least people like Jamie Oliver,” she replied, arching her eyebrows knowingly. “Anyway, there’s no point in arguing because she’ll be here in five minutes.”
“Please tell me you didn’t just schedule an interview without my permission?”
1717 N. Halsted St, 3:10pm
“What’s with the expression of impending doom, Care Bear?” He asked, lugging his camera equipment as they walked up the block toward Alinea.
“What have I told you about calling me that?”
“Not to do it but it’s too fun not to, Care Bear.” Given his general maturity level, Caroline decided it was a losing battle and she had more important things on her mind.
“Anyway, it’s not doom,” she muttered. “It’s just the overwhelming desire not to do this interview but given I don’t want to get fired and also pay my rent, there’s no other option.”
“Is someone afraid of the angry chef?”
“Oh, puh-lease, I’m not afraid. Although, I might not be able to bite my tongue if he decides to insult me like he did Gordon Ramsey.”
Caroline wasn’t one to judge but his indiscretions were well-known and well-documented. Although, chefs with egos weren’t an entirely new phenomenon to the industry or to Caroline given interviewing them was her job.
“You and I both know Ramsey deserved that dressing down, if anything Mikaelson earned my respect that day.” Caroline couldn’t argue with that.
Although this one was another kind of beast.
The effortlessly attractive kind.
For Caroline, this was an unsettling prospect. Until she reminded herself why she was here in the first place.
Caroline loved food. Sometimes, she thought, more than life itself.
So, when she became a food blogger after graduating with a journalism degree from Northwestern, it wasn’t a surprise. She was currently the senior blogger at popular food blog Delicious.
“You love food and writing about it,” Was Enzo reading her mind? “How about instead of focusing on the negative, remember that this will be your biggest interview yet. Think about all of the exposure this will garner.”
The upper echelons of Delicious had decided that an interview with Klaus Mikaelson would be a big scoop. Caroline was all for interviewing chefs about their food and the passion behind it but she knew her editor wanted something less about his craft and more about his bad boy reputation.
“Yes, but I want to write about food, not produce tabloid fodder.”
“Just think, once you do this then maybe you’ll have enough of a following to start your own blog and write what you want and not what someone tells you to do.”
“Mmmm, you do have a point.”
“Of course I do because Enzo knows everything. Also, take me with you because you’d be lost without me, sweetcheeks.”
“Third person, huh? That ego of yours knows no bounds, Lorenzo.”
“You know it, Care Bear,” he joked, flashing his most dazzling smile. “Well, looks like we’re here.”
“Looks like it,” she murmured, noting the intimidating sign overhead and wondering what she’d gotten herself into. “Here goes nothing.”
3:15pm
“Caroline Forbes?”
“You must be Rebekah and this is my photographer Lorenzo St John.”
Klaus, who’d been throwing a temper tantrum not one minute ago, found himself looking up into the blue eyes of one Caroline Forbes. Suddenly, all of the white noise of the moment fell away and it was just the two of them in the room together and the blonde in question was looking at him expectantly.
It was paralysing.
But good paralysing he decided.
“Nik?” Rebekah questioned. Now they were both looking at him. Had he zoned out and not realised it? Well, if so, this was all kinds of embarrassing. “Caroline is the senior blogger for Delicious and she’s here for that interview, you know the one we talked about earlier?”
Yeah, ten minutes earlier, he thought to himself doing everything he could not to bite back in front of the new arrival.
“It’s nice to meet you Mr Mikaelson, I have to say I’m a big fan of your…”
“Look, it’s not going to be possible, I have to prep for dinner service,” he lied, although regretted it immediately when he noticed her expression. Klaus wasn’t used to being nice, it wasn’t in his DNA and usually it didn’t bother him.
Until now.
Klaus decided to blame it on the foreign feelings she was causing. As soon as he got some distance between them it would be fine, especially that vanilla scent he couldn’t ignore given it was infiltrating his first line of defence.
Klaus liked women, in fact he slept with many when his busy schedule permitted, but that was sex and nothing else. Just the way he liked it, easy and unemotional.
“Why don’t we multitask then? I’m happy to help. ” Her voice was light and melodic. Klaus was hoping it wasn’t going to sound so enticing. He also wasn’t expecting that response. “I worked in a restaurant kitchen for years, I can do dishes, polish cutlery and peel a mean potato and an onion, well almost without crying.”
Why was he buoyed by that ridiculous statement and increasingly trying not to flash her a goofy smile?
Klaus didn’t smile. He just didn’t. Ever.
This wasn’t how he saw his day going at all. He was going to kill Rebekah. Before he could reply, the current subject of his ire spoke.
“That sounds like a fantastic idea,” she grinned. “How about Lorenzo and I make ourselves scarce then?”
“It’s actually Enzo, darling, you sound a bit too much like my mother and my oppressive boss Care Bear here.”
Klaus hadn’t even realised there was someone else in the room up until this point but it was clear Caroline wasn’t too impressed by his nickname or the oppressive part. Maybe they had more in common than he thought?
Care Bear. Klaus thought it was adorable. Then he could feel it, that idiotic urge to smile again.
Before he could object again, Rebekah had made a quick exit with the photographer and she was just standing there. Klaus could feel the awkward tension between them and knowing he’d caused it wasn’t helping matters. But he didn’t know any other way to act.
Then the words he’d struggled with just tumbled out.
“How do you feel about fish?”
Not the most suave topic or question but this was his ‘uncomfort’ zone.
“Depends on the context.”
“The context?”
“I mean, if you think I can clean, fillet and debone a fish, you’ve obviously overestimated my cooking talents.”
Klaus had to practically eat the smile that was threatening to appear. Again.
“Everyone has to start somewhere and get their hands a bit dirty, otherwise what’s the point?” He advised. “But, if you don’t want to then…”
“Oh, I never back away from a challenge, chef,” she promised.
Again, the pesky smile was hovering just beneath the surface.
Leading her towards the kitchen, Klaus told himself that preparing a fish was definitely going to keep his emotions at bay and also block out that perfume which was throwing him off balance.
4:45pm
“Why do I feel like this was a ploy to distract me from my interview?” Caroline asked, dipping the fish into egg wash and then flour as instructed by her cooking mentor for the day..
This was not how she saw her day going. It was surreal to say the least. This guy was supposed to be an ogre but Caroline was realising he was something else entirely.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he shot back. “But you filleted that fish like a professional, maybe you’ve missed your true calling?”
“I suppose I had a semi-good teacher,” she admitted wryly.
“Wow, tell me what you really think, Forbes.”
Caroline was trying not to to get too caught up in the moment but Klaus Mikaelson had challenged every judgment she’d ever harboured about the temperamental chef. He’d been unusually kind and patient.
The one thing she’d noticed was that his overall demeanour didn’t match his expression.
He didn’t smile.
Not once.
A few times, Caroline could swear it was close or maybe she was just imagining it?
“So, why do you like food?” It was a question she wasn’t expecting. Especially seeing as she was the interviewer and him her subject.
“Isn’t that what I’m supposed to be asking you?” He was silent for a moment, almost like he was contemplating it. “But I get the impression you don’t like that question much?”
“I’d much prefer to hear your story first, call it a warm-up.” Clearly he was nervous and Caroline was happy to oblige if it helped.
“My grandmother,” she smiled knowingly, visions of her nana filling her head. “When I was younger I’d go to her house most weekends and we’d cook together. She could make anything and everything. She died last year and it’s been tough without her but at least I still have those memories.”
Caroline didn’t mean to get personal, especially with the so-called “angry chef” but for some reason she felt nothing but comfort in his presence, even if he didn’t smile.
“What was her specialty?”
“Banana cream cheesecake,” she smiled, the taste of it rushing back in all its delicious glory.
“Hard to beat,” he murmured. “Have you ever eaten a Bananas Foster? My restaurant in New Orleans does a modern version over flame. According to my maitre’d there’ve apparently been a few proposals over dessert.”
“Over your dessert?”
“Someone sounds dubious. Let’s just say it’s fireworks but without the danger. Well, unless the tablecloth is accidentally set on fire but the fire department down there are pretty good first responders I understand.”
“I just didn’t take you for the romantic dessert type.”
“I suppose there’s a lot of things you don’t know about me then.”
“So, why do you like food then?”
“Well, of course I like food, I wouldn’t be a chef otherwise,” he shared, moving swiftly in behind her and taking the fillets from her hand and placing them in the hot pan, Caroline was trying not to react to his touch or that welcoming and heady mixture of sandalwood, spices and soap . “But one interview isn’t going to even begin to answer that question.”
He had a point and Caroline knew it. How could you sum up what food meant to you in one interview?
“So, what exactly are you trying to say? I do have a deadline to meet.”
“How about we schedule a follow-up interview tomorrow morning? Dinner service is imminent and if you stay I’m going to have to ask you to do more than fillet a fish. My pastry chef Lucien is also very needy, requires constant gratification, and you don’t want to be on the receiving end of that.”
“Not gonna lie I’m intrigued and by that I’m talking about Lucien. Did you insult his choux pastry or something?”
“Not if I want my patrons to eat dessert this century. But, if you insist on staying, there’s a whole pile of onions there with your name on it and we can call it even.”
“You wouldn’t dare.” He raised his left eyebrow by way of response. Caroline was trying to ignore just how good he looked, even if there was no smile forthcoming.
“Fine,” she conceded. “Tomorrow morning but that’s it otherwise my editor might fire me.”
“Great, let’s make it 10:30, you can poach an egg, right? And I also expect extra crispy bacon.”
Caroline knew she was possibly in trouble and not because he was tasking her with cooking. Enzo would also parrot that particular concern but she couldn’t help herself.
Today was probably the best day she’d had in a long time and she didn’t want it to end. She told herself that she’d return tomorrow and get her interview, that’s all she wanted from him, right?
4 May - Alinea - 1723 N. Halsted St, Chicago IL - 11am
Klaus Mikaelson was in uncharted territory.
That’s what scared him the most.
Caroline Forbes was seated across from him at his best, window table in jeans and a cream sweater, her plate empty and a very full but satisfied look on her face. Klaus decided to add that to his favourite expressions file. It was fast filling up and he’d only known her for 20 hours.
He wasn’t this guy.
At all.
But she’d consumed his thoughts since their first meeting and all night through dinner service and beyond. He’d barely slept, but it wasn’t a bad thing. He’d been looking forward to seeing her as soon as she left.
The only problem? Not smiling because it was that difficult when she was in his presence. He had his reasons of course.
“So, why do you love food? And no arguments given I poached a mean egg and also let you have a reprieve yesterday.”
“The bacon could use some work, just saying.”
“Well, you’re more than welcome to cook itself yourself, Mikaelson. Are you always such a critic? Last time I checked that was my job. Also enough with the distractions. So?”
“My mum,” he admitted quietly, even if it took a minute or so to verbalise. For some reason her opening up about her grandmother had filled him with courage. He didn’t do feelings or talk about them for that matter. “She cooked with me practically from birth until she got too sick last year.”
Those last words wobbled, it was unfortunate as it was expected. He’d struggled for a long time and losing his mother had been difficult.
“What was her specialty?” Klaus recognised the question he’d asked himself yesterday, but the fact her hand squeezed his at the same time filled him with the confidence and warmth he needed.
“Rosemary braised lamb shanks, it was her favourite protein. I’ve tried to pay homage on all my menus since.”
‘So, that explains the Saddle of Elysian Fields Farm Lamb with Babaganoush, Romano Beans and Harissa Jus on your menu then?”
“You’ve done your homework clearly?”
“That and the fact it’s the first time I’ve seen you smile, and I have to say it’s really nice.”
Klaus didn’t even realise he’d let it slip but suddenly it didn’t matter anymore. He didn’t want to hide it, not with her.
“She used to tell me to smile all the time because I was too serious, you could say it’s something I’ve battled with ever since she passed.”
“All the more reason to smile, even just to introduce those dimples to the general public. Has anyone ever told you they should come with a warning?”
“No, but more than happy to discuss further.”
“If only, but I have to get going.” Klaus felt almost deflated that she was leaving as quickly as she’d arrived. Maybe he’d shared too much. “Deadlines and all that. But if you could just consult the email I sent confirming the details of our interview that would be great.”
Klaus felt disillusioned, he’d opened himself up to someone and she was running away. She was out the door before he could even move from his seat. Checking his emails was the last thing he felt like doing, but his hand went to work on his cell checking it anyway and dreadfully waiting for its contents.
“As of three minutes ago, I no longer working for Delicious. It wanted a story I wasn’t prepared to write. I like your smile and dimples too much and I also want a Bananas Foster.”
His chest constricted as he read each word and his grin was unmistakable. It didn’t take long for him to reply.
“You make my heart smile.”
Tabloids would report months later that famed food blogger Caroline Forbes married famed chef Klaus Mikaelson in rural England after proposing over a dessert of Bananas Foster in New Orleans.
55 notes
·
View notes
Text
marn’s blaseball playlists
PLAYERS
we didn’t come here to rock, we came here to disappoint you -- tillman henderson
long days and pleasant nights -- silvaire roadhouse
no one should brave the underworld alone -- nora perez
so discontent to wear that heavy load -- pedro davids
in your shadow waiting for the perfect moment -- evelton mcblase ii
eye of light, future sight -- luis acevedo
and take your name out of the hall of fame -- york silk (crab necromancy edition)
YOU AND I ARE MORTAL, BUT ROCK AND ROLL WILL NEVER DIE -- lorcan smaht (frisbee player irm)
and who let you out of your grave? -- lorcan smaht (zombie bartender irm)
i fought the war but the war won -- combs duende
down in my beast heart, i build an empire -- jaylen hotdogfingers
our prodigal son, our shameful pitcher -- mike townsend
dreamers never live, only dream of it -- derrick krueger
i disappear behind the beat -- shaquille torres
ATTRACTOR -- brisket friendo (og)
ALTERNATOR -- brisket friendo (alt)
if you have ghosts, you have everything -- mcdowell karim
i was a ghost i was there at the scene -- hank marshallow
you’re always some abbreviation of a whole thing -- sebastian telephone
HOT SINGLES IN YOUR AREA -- rodriguez internet
just happy to be a contender -- whit steakknife
i will be rocks, i will be water -- sosa elftower
i can’t define myself through irony and self deprecation -- declan suzanne
lo que no me mata me hace más muerto -- combs estes
empire builder, returning east -- hiroto poole
and i won’t let me die -- simon peck
so here’s to another banner year -- case lancaster
RELATIONSHIPS
hating you won’t make you suck any less -- derrick krueger & jaylen hdf
goon squad’s gonna show you how -- null team vibes
you gotta hold your head higher than the fire -- seb telephone / derrick krueger
you are the heart dotting i in the word “apologize” -- tillman henderson / declan suzanne
truth is always when it’s gone, it’s gone -- mike townsend / derrick krueger
i’m a mess and you’re worse -- shaq torres / derrick krueger
i’ve begun to trust the view here -- mike townsend / andrew solis
i don’t seem obvious, do i? -- lorcan smaht / brisket friendo
dancing at the end of the world -- shaq torres / combs estes
your illogical device, my impossible demand -- peck & poole
can i lie with you in your grave? -- shaq torres / edric tosser
mr. highway’s thinking about the end -- hank marshallow & nerd pacheco
you were not the same after that -- shaq torres & malik destiny
take my mind off this lonely gun -- silvaire roadhouse / brisket friendo
we are two shadows moving on a wall -- brisket friendo & tad seeth
FICS
i think we’ve overlooked something in this room -- elephant joke
a beginner’s guide to faking your death -- lucky people
BIMBOS IN SPACE -- space ghosts coast to coast
SHORT CIRCUITS
stuck in the middle with you -- gamma 1 / sc0 / halloween crabs
nothing grows here in the cold -- g3 / sc2 / snow crabs
how’d we end up at the afterparty? -- g4 / sc3 / reunion crabs
something about lemons -- sc1 / lorcan mondavi
live the dream in a time machine -- sc1 / emily friendo
i’ll probably be some kind of scientist -- sc2 / quill harrow
better call your mother -- sc2 / carson schweinsteiger
70 notes
·
View notes
Text
Anime! Fictional! BTS x Real World! Reader- Welcome To My World~ Episode 1
HEY HEY! IM SO EXCITE! Btw who here plays BTS World? This is very loosely based off that.
I need to download it again tbh.
CHECKOUT MY MASTERLIST HERE!
Leggo!
...
What does it mean to escape? To get away. If it means leaving behind all you know, all you’ve been raised to know, all you’ve been led to believe, with just yourself and the clothes on your back. Scary, but thrilling. Terrifying, but inviting. Unbelievable, but definitely possible....
...
On a early Tuesday morning where the sun was barely grazing the orange sky, you sat by your windowsill. You were dreamily staring out into the halo that was a mixture of red and orange. The halo of greyish clouds matched your mood to a complete tee. The aesthetic beauty of nature wasn’t enough to make you smile or even blink twice, however. It was always like this though. Yet something about this scene made you go sour.
Releasing a sigh, you stepped away from the window, shutting the curtains. Another day, the same thing. All you could do was attempt to power through.
As you lazily pulled your shirt over your head, you had managed to dodge that annoying dog. The little brat wasn’t even yours, but your oh-so loving step-sister’s. He always had a affinity for making your room a hot mess. Only yours in particular.
“Get out of here you little-.” you chased the dog out of your room, slamming your door as it scurried off. “What did you screw up this time?” you curiously scanned the room. Everytime that little fluffy beast rammed his little head into your personal space, something would end up broken, ripped, shattered, or completely destroyed beyond repair.
You almost screamed when you saw a familiar book cover on the floor. You instantly dropped to your knees, praying to yourself that it wasn’t true. The cover had a pretty violent looking rip along with the first few pages.
Your absolute reason for waking up in the morning was tarnished. A signed cover of BTS Universe Issue #1. Probably your one and only favorite series on planet Earth. You gingerly picked up the book, trying to inspect it with hopes that the damage was minimal. As little as this was, you almost felt like crying. However there was no time, you needed to tape up the pages and fast! Who cares if you missed breakfast.
...
“Morning Y/N!” Your step-dad greeted you in the kitchen. “You were upstairs an awful long time, I was about to send your mother to see if you were still up playing that game of yours!” he smiled warmly.
“Thanks Mr. Chai.” you replied politely. “I’m sorry I’m so late.”
“You know...Y/N...you could call me Dad.” he set a plate down on the table. “I know I’m not your father, but I want to be the best father-figure for you because I know...you haven’t really had that.”
You had to stop yourself from saying anything else. You haven’t had the best parental relationship, and your new step-dad really was trying. Maybe it was just his daughter that drove you nuts.
“Thank you.” you replied, smiling. “...Dad.” you winked, making finger guns. “Geez! You made a lot of food for just the four of us”
“ Well you ain’t see muffin, yet!” he winked. “You and Nari have a busy day today. She auditioning and you, my friend....well I don’t know exactly what you have planned for the day.”
“I’ll tell you if we can skip the food related puns.” you sat down at the table. It was a rule that everyone waited for everyone else. Even though you had taken the extra time to repair your copy of BTS Universe, you had seemed to be the first person down the stairs. In all honesty, you were just going to hang out at the comic store until Nari called to tell you she was done.
“Hey now, Donut kill my vibe!” he continued, laughing. “I have a million more of these, come on. Don’t go bacon my heart, Y/N.”
“Good job Y/N, you’ve gotten him started.” You mom came down the stairs in her little blazer and pencil skirt. “Whatever will we do now.”
“He did it himself, the guy’s an animal! You married a wild child, mom.” you joked. “He might just be a serial killer.”
“Don’t you mean...cereal killer?” he held up a box of Raisin Bran to make his point. You could only shake your head as your mother and step-father laughed together. Food related humor so early in the morning had to mean today wasn’t going to be a horrible as it started, at least for you.
“WHERE ARE MY THIGH HIGH BOOTS!” you heard a screech from upstairs. “THEY BETTER NOT BE IN YOUR ROOM, Y/N!”
“...WHY WOULD I WANT TO WEAR YOUR SHOES!” you yelled back after taking in a deep breath. “NARI, IF I WANTED TO BREAK MY ANKLES, I’D HAUL MYSELF DOWN THE STAIRS.”
“When will you two get along?” your mom shook her head. “It’s been three years.”
“We don’t not get along.” You shook your head. “Not my fault she’s difficult.”
“I can think of a few times you’ve been difficult yourself, young lady.” you mother pointed a stern finger at you. “Like when you locked yourself in the room to read that silly cartoon of yours.”
“It’s not silly.” you defended yourself.
“Oh come on!” Nari’s voice voice could be heard alongside some loud footsteps. “I think it’s cute to be honest. Y/N here actually has a hobby besides stalking celebrities online.”
“Shut up, Nari.” you grumbled. “And keep your dog out of my room! He ruined my signed copy of BTS Universe!”
“Dorie got out again?” she seethed, looking annoyed. “I really have to put a bell on that dog.”
“Yeah.” you sighed, you bummed mood returning. Everyone knew just how much you loved that edition. You kept in in a super special display case, you cleaned the case every week, you kept your other issues on their own bookshelf along with your figurine and digital visual novel editions of the series. You were even on the buyer’s list for the special early anime release. You LOVED this series. Not even Nari dared to disrespect something as important as that, and she loved getting under your skin.
“I’m sure you’ll be able to find another one.” your mother set down a bowl of cereal in front of you along with a muffin. “Now eat, you have a big day today.”
“Yes mam.” you replied, helping yourself to some cereal.
“If you want, you can take a muffin or bagel with you.” your step dad said.
“Dad! I can’t, I have to be super focused remember? Breakfast will just slow me down!” Nari scoffed.
“Not having breakfast will make it even worse, dummy. Dude, you’re gonna pass out on stage.” you threw a tiny cereal piece at her. “Eat something.”
“I’ll eat later, I just have my eye on the prize and nothing is going to stop me.” Nari stood up determined.
“Will you at least eat some toast, crazy girl.” your mother said. “Y/N’s right, you need to at least have eaten something to calm your nerves. Y/N make sure Nari eats something before you two go your separate ways.”
“I’ll try, no promise.” you shrugged. “Nari, if you’re done, then get your stuff and let’s go.” You promptly finished your cereal and went to go back upstairs. “You got ten minutes.”
“What’s her deal?” you could hear Nari ask, followed by an sudden whispering of your mom stating exactly what she thought was wrong with you. Your bet was on ‘everything’.
You walked back into your room, grabbing your purse from your desk. You eyed your taped up issue of BTS Universe #1. There was no way you were going to find another issue like that, and that damned dog just treated it like a loved toy. You grabbed your phone and shoved it into your purse. You went over to where the issue was and placed it on your desk.
“NARI LET’S GO!” you shut the bedroom door behind you as you walked out the room.
...
You sped to a stop outside the building. Nari was shaking in her shoes. She seemed hesitant to even open the door.
“Call me when you’re finished so I can pick you up.” you said, getting ready to unlock the doors.
“You’re leaving me!?” Nari looked like she was about to explode.
“Hello?! It’s idol trainees only?” you raised an eyebrow. “I can’t go in there with you. Nari what’s the problem?”
“...Um...I’m nervous alright! I’m giving up almost everything and if I don’t get chosen...I’ll just prove my dad right. I need this.” she stared down at her hands. “I’m not used to being a reject. I don’t know how you-”
“You wanna leave here with two working legs, I suggest you don’t finished that sentence.” you cut her off. “I’m not a reject.”
“That’s not what I was gonna say. I’m saying I don’t know how you deal with nerves like this.” she looked like she was gonna pass out.
“...You just do.” you nudged her shoulder. “You just go for it and hope. Go for it.”
“...Okay, I’ll try.” she opened the door. “...Thank you.” she stood up. “I’ll call you when I’m all set.” she shut the door.
“I’ll literally be at the store around the corner.” you replied before driving off. You watched in the rear view as she took her sweet time going into the building.
...(Later on)
You trudged behind Nari as she ran through the door. She seemed happy, so that must have meant the audition went well.
“I’m gonna take a nap.” you called to your mom and step-dad. “See you guys at dinner!”
You didn’t wait for them to reply before you closed the door. As you walked over to your bed, you noticed a disc laying on your bed. Just a random DVD. The closer you got, the font on the front got clearer.
“BTS World?” It didn’t look familiar in the slightest. “It’s called BTS Universe, Nice try Nari.” you wrote it off as a stupid prank by your oh-so-loving Step-Sister. It was only then you realized Nari was with you all day.
You took another look at it, gently taking it in your hands. It looked like it was glowing.
Call it curiosity, but you needed to know.
Your laptop was sitting at the edge of the bed, so you put the disc in.
“State your name.” a voice came out of nowhere.
“What?” you looked around in shock. The voice sounded like it came from right behind you.
“Please state your name.” the female robotic voice repeated.
“Y/N.”
“Are you sure that you want Y/N as your name?”
“Um Yes?” you raised an eyebrow. You still didn’t know what the fuck was going on.
“Would you like to start a new game? You don’t appear to have any saved filed under the name Y/N.”
Maybe you were sleepier than you thought, but you ran with it. “Yes.”
“Starting new game....now”
Your screen began glowing a bright blue, a vivid, saturated blue. It was like your screen had turned into a flashlight.
“What the fu-” you suddenly stared at your hands, the very tips of your fingers turned pixelated. “MOM!!!” You tried to scream, only to have it come out in the form on an echo. You felt your feet leave the ground as tiny little pixels moved towards your computer. You could see the color draining from your walls, leaving everything white. It was like an earthquake ran through your room...only through your room.
Then...everything went dark.
...
(Why hello there...LET US PREPARE. I’m gonna go through with it this time, I swear on my bacon! The guys are coming next chappie!)
#hoseok smut#taehyung smut#yoongi smut#jimin smut#namjoon smut#jungkook smut#seokjin smut#kpop imagines#kpop scenarios#kpop smut#kpop x reader#hoseok imagines#jimin imagines#jungkook imagines#yoongi imagines#namjoon imagines#taehyung imagines#seokjin imagines#imagines#bts au#bts imagines#bts x reader#bts smut#kpop au#au imagines
21 notes
·
View notes
Text
Hitchin’ a Ride
Reposting as it’s own story so it doesn’t languish in obscurity
When you live in a tower with access to the fastest, most versatile, and comprehensive information network on earth, you can have any public domain work (and even a few copyrighted works) at your fingertips in an instant.
But to Raven, that couldn’t hold a candle to the smell and the atmosphere of an occult bookstore, tucked between a pharmacy and a café.
Reading online was easy, but could feel so impersonal to someone who had spent their childhood combing through old scrolls and leather-bound tomes in the Grand Library of Azarath. The musty smell of old first editions and the serenity of a reading nook was really all Raven needed to take the edge off of the super-hero life style combined with a five-person living arrangement.
She’d frequented the place since she’d found it last year, and the owner was all too happy to let her sit in and leaf through his wares. Always a chance she’d buy something.
And after this week’s battle with Plasmus at a sewage treatment plant, in the month of July, she needed to. If she was lucky, something by Caitlín R. Kiernan would be in.
And she was gonna savor it. She was going to get the biggest stack of books she could, read em cover to cover, get something to eat at the café if she was hungry, and not get back to the tower until it was seven. She’d even decided to walk there, because taking it slow meant savoring it. Though with the temperature, she was beginning to think she should have brought a water bottle. Black thigh-high stockings and summer heat did not mix. Maybe she could fly the rest of the way there?
“Hey mama, need a lift?”
Ah, yes, as if on cue, the light of her life showed up. A familiar white and silver paint job pulled up to the curb beside her. In case no-one on the entire west coast hadn’t heard already, Garfield Logan, the Titans’ resident cinephile, class clown, and what one might call her conditional boyfriend, had recently gotten his driver’s license and permission from Victor Stone to drive what the press dubbed the “T-Car.”
Vic had barred everyone from the driver’s seat until such time that three out of five Titans had a license to drive a vehicle (and at least one more had a permit).
Not that she could blame him; Koriand’r had turned out to have quite the lead foot when she decided to take a driving test of her own and all Robins she’d met tended to favor the Tokyo Drift school of driving. Still, of all the Titans, Beast Boy had turned out to be the third most responsible driver (after her and Cyborg).
“Gar, just because Vic lets you drive his car doesn’t mean you--”
When she turned to face the vehicle, the sight in the driver’s seat made her wonder if it was too late to buy a book on psychology.
“What are you wearing?”
Raven could only tell that Garfield was smiling because of the way his eyes crinkled, as most of his face was covered by the camera rig he wore.
“This is the same kind of rig they used in Hardcore Henry,” he said, pointing to his redonkulous (something that looked like that didn’t deserve a real adjective) headwear, “So while I’m driving, I can document the experience hands free.”
“You look like a dentist tortured you.” she said.
“Come on, Raven,” Garfield said, a slight whine in his voice, “Don’t you at least want to know why I stopped.”
“Alright then,” she said, rolling her eyes, “Why did you stop?”
“Well, I just saw a tall, dark, and beautiful gal in a Slipknot shirt owning the sidewalk and just had to record it for posterity.
The flush Raven felt in her face had nothing to do with the heat. Garfield had always been free with compliments, especially where she was concerned.
“You’re unconscionable.”
“Does that mean you think I’m attractive?”
“You have a thesaurus app on your phone. You figure it out.”
“Seriously, though, do you need a lift?”
“Well…”
Honestly, air conditioning would be a godsend right now, but playing hard to get was too tantalizing an offer to pass.
“I don’t know,” Raven said, tapping her finger on her cheek in mock contemplation, “didn’t anyone warn you about hitchhikers?”
“Well, you seem friendly enough.” Gar said, catching on.
“Do I?”
Raven struck a pose, one she hoped would make Gar’s blood boil.
“Hey, Mister Green Jeans,” she said, in a false falsetto, “mind giving little ol’ me a lift?”
“Oh baby!” Gar melodramatically put his hand to his chest and held out the other in a “call me sign.”
“I’ll take you anywhere lookin’ like that!”
“Well, don’t get used to it,” Raven said, walking around the front of the car to the passenger’s side, “cause that’s not going to be a regular occurance.”
“Fine by me,” Garfield said, starting the car engine, “I’ve got it recorded.”
“You know if you show that to anyone, you’re dead, right?”
“I know,” said Gar, “This one goes in my private collection. Never to see the light of day.”
He stopped at a four-way intersection.
“Where too?” he asked.
“Picolo Avenue,” Raven said, “there’s a bookstore there.”
“Picolo it is,” said Garfield, turning right, “but all joking aside, you were made for those cutoff jeans.”
“Stop it,” she said, half-heartedly socking him in the arm.
“Lady Legasus strikes again.”
Against her better judgement, Raven had to laugh at that one.
“Just get me to the bookstore, Mr. Green Jeans.”
#My Writing#Teen Titans#BBRAE#Teen Titans Go!#Teen Titans Go#Raven#Raven Roth#Beast Boy#garfield logan#raven x garfield#raven x beast boy#DC#DC Comics#TTG
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
SpongeGuy Reviews Every Disney Cartoon Ever!: Amphibia (1.1A and 1.1B): “Anne Or Beast?” and “Best Fronds”
AMPHIBIA! AMPHIBIA! MY FAVE GORL ANNE! AAAAAAA!
...Ahem. Let’s stay professional. I can hug my adopted daughter later.
Amphibia is one of the most underrated disney shows ever, telling of the exploits of Anne Boonchuy, a 13 year old teen who winds up in a world of talking frogs, toads, Newts and Salamanders. She ends up with the Plantars: Grandfather Hop Pop; Fiesty pollywog Polly; and Anne’s first real best friend Sprig.
This show is important to me for many reasons: It features my all time favorite disney character Anne, it was one of my favorite shows when it aired (and still is), it became a basis to my fave fanfic of mine and it led me to find my sister.
So yeah. Pretty good. ;)
SUMMERIES: “In the town of Wartwood, located in the land of Amphibia, populated by anthropomorphic frogs and various other creatures, young Sprig Plantar takes the chance to prove he's responsible when One-Eyed Wally comes running into town warning everyone about a horrifying beast. The 'hideous beast' is revealed to be a human girl named Anne Boonchuy, who has been magically transported into their world. After Anne saves him from a giant mantis, Sprig sees her as a hero. Anne later gets captured by an angry mob of frogs led by Mayor Toadstool, but when two new giant mantises attack she and Sprig work together to defeat them. After beating the bigger of the two mantises, Toadstool suggests running Anne out of town. Sprig stands up to the mob, taking responsibility for her well-being. The Plantars take Anne as their own to everyone's chagrin. Anne now lives with the Plantar's until the valley clears up in a couple of months. In the last scene, Anne pulls out a box that got her there in the first place and tries to get it to work. However this time unlike before it doesn't work making the box looks like a normal one. This troubles Anne, causing herself to resign to her current fate saying to herself "Looks like I'm gonna be here for a while."
“Wanting to help Anne with her homesickness, Sprig takes her swimming at the lake. But Hop Pop locks the door to keep Anne inside. Anne and Sprig would then grab the key and open the door. While swimming at the lake, they face off a giant snake. After fighting the snake, Anne finally sees Sprig as a good friend. Meanwhile, a mysterious toad interrogates Anne's fellow human friend Sasha who has also wound up in Amphibia where the toad had found Anne's other shoe in the South Forest.”
COMEDY: 5 Out of 5 (”Anne or Beast?”) and 5 Out of 5 (”Best Fronds”)
I pointed out in my Fish Hooks review that the mid-late 2010′s and early 2020′s Disney cartoon has a very unique sense of humor, a sort of quick fire bantery character quirk dialogue heavy 4th wall breaking style of humor. And man does Amphibia master it! The amount of great character moments (Polly’s toughness, Hop Pop’s paranoia, Sprig’s madness and Anne’s perfection) add so much to what would normally be pretty run by the mill plots. Add to that the lovely absuridty and randomness to the jokes, the Gravity Falls esque out of context gems and lovey facial animation, and every joke lands! Both episodes have countless great moments, from voice acting to slapstick to witty humor! A sure fire perfect 5 for both!
CHARACTERS: 5 Out of 5 (”Anne or Beast?”) and 5 Out of 5 (”Best Fronds”)
Ok, ok, I get that my bias is showing a bit, and I get that this might seem strange. The pilot and sister episode already have perfect characterization? That seems impossible!
And in an odd way, it is: Anne is definitley less kind than she is in most of the series, Sprig hasn’t yet earned his flaws (outside of absent mindedness) and Hop Pop isn’t really himself yet. Polly of course is very much in character!
Yet, that’s the point of Amphibia: Across a season, the characters change and show other dimensions to themselves. Anne becomes less selfish and more thoughtful and kind to others, Sprig develops some flaws, Polly shows her softer side and Hop Pop as well warms up to the people in his life. And it’s a testement to the good writing in play that despite these characters arguably at their simplest, they still manage to be lovely and entertaining!
Anne and Sprig especially! The hints of their better kinder selves are fully on display, while still having larger than life personlaities. Anne shows many instances of a good person hiding behind fear, insecurity, and rowdiness, and it just...
Look, when Anne sits there in her new room, appreciating her new friend who saved her life, and hoping Sasha and Marcy are ok, because she is, and she smiles genuinely, and shows that underneath all this there is a very lonely girl who just wants the people she loves to be happy and to love her too, and now she is getting that, and giving back for the first time...
That gets me, ok?
Point is, Anne is a wonderfully complex character who can be selfish, but deep down is a good person. I love that.
I love her.
STORY AND HEART: 4 Out of 5 (”Anne or Beast?”) and 5 Out of 5 (”Best Fronds”)
It was almost perfect, and I really only docked a point for Anne or Beast? because it isn’t THAT good (some characters aren’t well defined and it’s not the best story, though a good moral). But this just comes so close to perfection. The mature looks at how friends can be toxic, and how two slightly self centered people desperate for love can find friendship by being kind and respecting each other are just really important for kids, and there is something so real, so alive in the show, it feels like we are Anne, living in this place and trying to get by. There’s not much to say here; Amphibia is just that good at portraying a family that’s becoming better as people, and, er, frogs.
FINAL SCORES: 14 Out of 15 (”Anne or Beast?”) and 15 Out of 15 (”Best Fronds”)
The two best episodes of the animated rankings so far, and a near perfect start: Amphibia is a modern masterpiece, and while not every episode is a dead ringer (we’ll get there soon), it’s gonna go down as one of the best! Hope you enjoyed my geeking out!
Next time, we have Special Agent Oso, a show I don’t have the highest regard for, but I’m willing to give a try! It was important to many little kids, so maybe I’ll like it! Also Mr. Moseby is in it, so there’s that.
https://docs.google.com/document/d/194d3gsPrhlOsFPYsXU-lJirY4sWncrBl/edit#heading=h.gjdgxs
#amphibia#anne boonchuy#anne boonchuy amphibia#spongeguy#sprig plantar#anne and sprig#every Disney Animated Show Reviewed#disney cartoons
17 notes
·
View notes
Photo
The Mouse and the Spider by I’m Over There: Jim Moriarty gets bored. Molly Hooper gets lonely. They’re just two planets revolving around the brilliant sun that is Sherlock Holmes, drawn in by his gravity. And his light. But everybody needs distractions…
Song as Old as Rhyme by @wherestoriescomefrom: Hush, the wind is blowing hard. Be quiet, child, sleep soundly - Or the Dark One will steal your heart. [Beauty and the Beast AU]
Nameless by @wherestoriescomefrom: The first name was expected - even welcomed. The second, on the other hand, left much to be desired. And Jim would never understand what it was about it that was compelling. [Soulmate AU: On one hand, the name of your soulmate, on the other - your enemy. Molliarty.]
The Rose Point Manor: A young woman struggling in an unjust society takes a break from the theatrics of pretending to be her male counterpart, Mark Hooper, and decides to relax at the quiet but foreboding Rose Point Manor. There she comes to a realization that something far more sinister lurks there than at her morgue back home - Victorian AU
We’re Ancient History: When Molly Hooper had begun her scientific expedition, she never knew her time on the dig sites would unearth more than the dead.
Forget Me Not: “This melancholy London - I sometimes imagine that the souls of the lost are compelled to walk through its streets perpetually. One feels them passing like a whiff of air.” What happens when two lost souls find each other? Are they still forgotten? - Amnesia!AU
Capture My Good Side: “Photography is all about secrets. The secrets we all have and will never tell.”
Deus Mortis: "You can hide from the devil, but he’ll always find you.“ - Victorian AU
Face Value: “I’m not sure how to describe this nonsense, basically Molly looks good in a moustache and Jim notices.”
Not a Body Farm: Molly really should’ve known better than to download FarmVille on a criminal mastermind’s cell phone, even if it had been a hilarious joke at the time. Since one day she wakes up in a bed in some random farm in the middle of nowhere, and the deed to the property in her name.
Oh God, Not the Westwood!: In which timid Molly Hooper must hide a heinous crime from a man who likes to watch a murder take place while drinking his morning coffee.
Life Preserver: “Missing you comes in waves and tonight I am drowning.”
Midnight Edition: The Bittersweet: Pop-rocks can be unpredictable. In an instance, a delight to the senses, or startling painful the next - smut
The Bittersweet: Even delicious things can be sour, at another glance.
Third Date Syndrome: Long bouts of silence and awkwardness on first dates are inevitable, and for the hundredth time Molly wished she was exempted from it.
We’ll Always Have St. Barts: “I wish I didn’t love you so much.” - Casablanca AU
Apex: Molly Hooper thinks fondly of Jim from IT, but can’t get enough of Jim Moriarty - contains smut~
The Parting Glass: After Reichenbach, Molly Hooper is drowning. She receives a package, request and tradition from a very dead Jim Moriarty. She receives nothing but burdens from a very alive Sherlock Holmes.
Rust and Stardust: “The last long lap is the hardest. I shall be dumped where the weed decays, and the rest is rust and stardust.” - Jim is a ghost, and wouldn’t it just figure that he haunts Molly Hooper.
Wild and Precious: “Doesn’t everything die at last, and too soon? Tell me, what is it you plan to do with your one wild and precious life?” - How Molly fell in love with a ghost, and tried not to waste her life beside him. She failed. - settled in the same universe of Rust and Stardust
Release: Written for the prompt “Jim fucking Molly so hard and so good that she can’t even get a full word out, only moans and half-uttered curses “: In which Jim surprises Molly after work - contains smut~
A Love Outside of Time: There’s a lot of strange happenings at 2945 S Willow Street, shrieks and screams and moans that have terrorized the neighbors and left the house unsold for generations. Can the great paranormal investigator, Sherlock Holmes, exorcise the spirits living there?
Gifts Given and Received: Sherlock ruined Molly’s Christmas gift and Jim is determined to make her holiday better. - ASIB AU, contains smut~
Cabernet Sauvignon: Written for the prompt “Jim’s ready to propose, but wants the event to be special, and so he hides the ring in Molly’s wine. Molly drinks it down too fast and chokes on the ring”: A fluffy slice of life, where Molly makes Jim’s life just a little less lonely.
Power Dynamic: Molly can’t help trying to control the insanity that is Jim Moriarty. A framework for his mind to lean on, a collar to hold him together, a mistress to keep him mostly sane.
Asphodel: “When you need slightly-less-than-legal magic substances, you seek out ‘Moriarty’s Special Imports and Fineries’. A new branch of Necromancy, pathologist-in-training Molly Hooper returns a set of counterfeit goods and receives a job offer in return.” - Fantasy AU
Her beast feature: “As he studied her from afar, Jim thought Molly’s best feature was her neck. He really didn’t anticipate her reaction to Sherlock beating a dead man with a riding crop.” - Molly x Jim, PWP, set at the beginning of A Study in Pink
Junior: So what’s a beleaguered pathologist to do when the UK’s Most Wanted turns up to visit her cat?
Mr Sex: Jim doesn’t ask her what she likes or what she needs; it’s not necessary. But he asks her what she wants - contains smut
Sunday Afternoon: Sleep with Molly Hooper: Molly canceled their date at the last minute, but no one messes with Jim’s precisely organized calendar and gets away with it.
Why Don’t You Do Right?: Seb arranges for Molly to get an extra special, early birthday present. Jim gets to learn something new about Molly. And Molly discovers one of Jim’s deepest secrets.
Club Calavera: Downing five zombies doesn’t give Jim the liquid courage he needs to ask Molly a very important question. It only makes him forget that he and Molly are already together.
Happy Birthday, Jimmy Boy: Jim’s never had a good birthday. Molly’s determined to buck the trend. - contains smut
It’s A Nice Day For a [White Wedding]: The wedding of James Moriarty to Molly Hooper can be nothing less than a momentous occasion. In his speech, their best man recounts some of the juicier bits of Jim and Molly’s journey into matrimony.
Cold War: She had to admit Jim was creative. Who else would think to kill three ice cream salesmen from different towns and attach a one-worded note to each corpse, forming the sentence, “Ready to concede?”
My Persuasion Can Build a Nation: In a world where Eurus had a best friend growing up, she doesn’t go to Sherrinford, nor does she turn out as unhinged as she did in canon. However, she’s still Eurus, and her brothers absolutely forbid her from meeting Jim Moriarty. She’ll just have to fix that, won’t she? Also: Matchmaker!Eurus ftw.
What Sober Couldn’t Say: “(11:23 pm) Drinking again(11:24 pm) And since it makes me too sad to go on my blog anymore thanks to you, I figured it’s only fair you become my new place to vent(11:25 pm) You’re probably not receiving these messages anyway so no harm no foul(11:25 pm) Right?” - Molly drunk-texts Jim over the course of several months.
I Wanna Feel Like I Am Floating: “Now the question is…" He vamp-flipped them over so she was lying down and his body was pinning hers. “Should I tie you up and make you take it, or are you going to be a good little vampire and let Daddy have his way with you?” Jim & Molly’s journey: blood-sharing edition.- Vampire!Molliarty AU, s-m-u-t.
Coffin Shopping: Sebastian could only imagine what the other, mostly ancient customers perusing the store must be thinking of the couple in their thirties, bubbling with laughter and fooling around as they ran about in search of the perfect coffin.
Come To Daddy: Jim failed to see how Molly’s physicality could ever not be arousing. The size of her lips did nothing to detract from how amazing she was at sucking cock. The size of her breasts made it no less fun for Jim to cup them in his hands, tease her nipples into hard peaks, suck on them until she squirmed and made those delightful little sounds. - smuttish ;)
Intention: A take on how the brief but unforgettable office romance between Jim from IT and Molly from Pathology began and how it just might become more than just a simple office romance.
An Exchange: Jim Moriarty comes across a familiar face and realises, from just one exchange, that it is not merely Sherlock Holmes that connects them, but a connection of their own.
A Beginning: Jim Moriarty tries to make sense of new waves of sentiment as his office romance with Molly Hooper transits to become something more.
Interruptions: Molly Hooper is made to face a stunning revelation about Jim Moriarty, but it is her reaction that stuns him most.
An Enemy’s Gift: In the pursuit of his greatest enemy, Jim Moriarty makes an unexpected discovery.
On Fanfiction.net:
Life: James Moriarty is in trouble, so much trouble that he fears for his life. He soon learns, however, he has absolutely nothing to fear, not with Molly Hooper around.
Spiders: Molly and Jim have a casual chat laced with hints of their plans, revealing a side to Molly that both surprises and seduces Jim.
(Re)kindle: Jim Moriarty is perplexed at the lasting impression a certain Molly Hooper has left on him. When his rekindled fascination with her meets an unexpected obstacle, an animosity is ignited.
Other fics:
- The Demon I cling to
- The Anatomist
- What Slinks Unseen (one-shot)
- Safety in Small Numbers (one-shot)
- Heart Shaped Buttons (one-shot)
- I.O.U (in progress, Season 4 AU)
- A change of clothes (one-shot, smut)
- The Uninvited House Guest
- Home is where (one-shot)
- Danse Macabre (one-shot) mine
- Lay your body next to mine (one-shot, mine, smut, dark themes)
- Symmetry (one-shot)
- Kisses for the Devil (one-shot)
- Descend (one-shot)
- Death and the Maiden
- The Number Is (one-shot)
- The Devil’s Own (warning: dark themes)
- Reality of Innocence (warning:smut)
- Gifts (one-shot)
- Thanaptosis (warning: dark themes)
- Pulse (one-shot)
- Yorick’s grin
- Hades (one-shot)
- Gay (warning:smut)
- Oaths, affidavits and Other Lies
- Brain Drain (one-shot)
- Counting Days (one-shot)
- A conversation starter (one-shot)
- Spinning Tornadoes (one-shot)
- Secret Veins and Arteries (warning:dark themes)
- Watching the world burn (one-shot, smut)
- Death and the Maiden
- Unloveable
- Sweet Dreams (one-shot)
- Frozen Feelings
- Forever and Always
- I will burn the heart out of you
- Choke (one-shot)
- His Dark Mistress (one-shot)
- He saved the last dance for me
- Exsanguination (one-shot, very kinky smut)
- Almost Anyone (one-shot)
- No Space between Us (one-shot, smut)
- Brain Drain (one-shot)
- Between the bars (one-shot, smut)
- Troubleshooting (one-shot, smut)
- Falling (one-shot, smut)
- Knots in this noose of mine (one-shot)
- Glass shatters softly (one-shot)
- Victor, meet spoils (one-shot)
- He kindly stopped me (one-shot)
- Blow the House Down (one-shot)
- The answer is one (one-shot)
- Strings (one-shot)
- Heartbeats in the Dark
- The Fox (one-shot, smut)
- Bad Romance
- Lion and the Lamb (one-shot)
- Red Song in the Night
- The Rules Are (one-shot)
- Molly Mine (one-shot, smut)
- Restless Things (warning: very dark themes + Johnlock)
- Intention (one-shot)
- At the End of it all (one-shot, smuttish)
- An Incorrect Deduction
26 notes
·
View notes
Text
empire of ivory here we go!
previous temeraire let’s read here
- um excuuuuse me I have waited two books for us to come back home to britain to see everyone again and now everything is awful and shitty and scary and my fave is leaving and nothing’s how it should be??? no??? this is unfair??????
- tharkay NO please don’t go everything provably goes to hell whenever you leave D:D:D:
(to be fair to him I guess it’s understandable to want some time alone to process the absolute outrageous bullshit he just pulled for a guy he’s known for like four months)
he used his page time well tho; instantly convincing roland of his worth and making her laugh... giving laurence his cup of tea b/c he looked like he needed it more... telling laurence that he’s leaving because he promised to do that much at least... truly the best boy, off to fetch more dragons apparently because it wasn’t quite crazy enough the first time
- god I love jane roland, I’m so glad my two faves got along instantly, between them they could... maybe protect laurence from himself? at least a little??? I can but dream
- I think this is the most emotionally invested I’ve been in a piece of media since that time I spent a few months completely incoherent over uncharted, and naughty dog very kindly held my heart in their hands and chose to be gentle with it in the end but I am not so sure that is how it’s going to be for this series and I am Not Prepared for the suffering
- I love whenever laurence thinks uncomfortably about one of the various and sundry atrocities committed by the government he’s still pledged all his loyalty to. yes william maybe the british empire... is in fact not good and has enough blood on their hands to dye the ocean red. I can’t wait until he connects the dots here (and presumably has a pretty intense crisis if faith about it because it seems like one of the loadbearing structures of his character... actually no wait I’m not ready to see this D:D:D:)
- the little details like the fact that he just calls bb!roland ‘emily’ and harcourt becomes ‘catherine’ so easily in his narration now are so so sweet
- lord allendale is one of those dudes who have good politics but is a shitheel to his family and I want to smack him
laurence being the mortified poster boy of this party, though? priceless, imagine coming up with a protagonist this effortlessly involuntarily hilarious, it’s the mark of true genius
- I don’t usually quibble over things like this, but I think the edit for this fourth book specifically is a bit lacking? I’ve come across a lot of mistakes even my dumb ass can pick up on already, and I’m only a hundred pages or so in
- caught between crying and cackling at this part b/c like laurence I’m d e v a s t a t e d at the thought of temeraire getting sick but also temeraire is just like cheerfully getting laid the whole time
also how did none of the aviators think to give laurence The Talk about giving his dragon The Talk, you all know what he’s like
- oh thank god
- I have spent half of today crying about dragons coughing, how are you this fine evening good reader
- btw this series fills a hole in my soul left by jkr giving me all those tantalizing hints of different types of dragons in ‘fantastic beasts’ and never following up on it
- tharkay may not be here but laurence just mentioned him like once in his narration so let’s take the excuse to reminisce about the good old days (when tharkay was here)... remember that time when the one of his own jokes he laughed openly at was about lawyers and laurence frankly should have responded better b/c it was kind of funny and sadly temeraire doesn’t have the worldly experience to know it yet.... aaah precious, he truly is a sardonic blessing to my heart and deserves the world
okay back to our regularly scheduled content
- riley why u gotta b such a bitch about this
(I love how laurence is constantly doubting himself over this tho, as if he’s done something wrong in this situation... like honey baby if there’s one thing worth breaking a friendship over it’s probably them being cool with slavery lol. it shows how much laurence has grown, considering that this disagreement has always existed between them but he used to be willing to just overlook it... I’m so proud of you laurence)
also lol @ berkely coming in to tell them everyone can hear them, I have a desperately soft spot for him and maximus. just the image of both of them turning to him ‘united in appalled indignation’ like ‘excuse you???’ and him giving exactly zero fucks... *chef kiss emoji*
- most important information revealed in this book: a) dragons are not widely considered to have committed original sin, thank you reverend erasmus and b) laurence has taken time out of his day at some point to worry about it b/c he’s a dork
(this is the sort of world building I am hopelessly weak to lol)
- gong su tricking temeraire into eating in the most melodramatic way possible... god bless you chef
- fkjhsadkjfhsdkjalhfaskjldhf laurence judging chenery for what he’s wearing while going out into the jungle in full uniform hat included himself... I caaaaan’t
- demane has only appeared on three pages so far but if anything happens to him I’ll kill everyone in this book and then myself
- ‘average dragon speaks one million languages’ factoid actualy statistical error. Temeraire Linguist Georg, who wants a pavilion thank you very much & learns over 10,000 languages each day, is an outlier adn should not have been counted <3<3<3
(I love that temeraire is like... a nerd dragon with a hopelessly jock captain)
- laurence effortlessly rating the relative hotness of the other male aviators to try to suss out who harcourt has slept with fjsaldfhsdkljafh do you ever hear yourself think william
like this is the thing about him it’s so easy to headcanon him as bi b/c he can be so mindbogglingly oblivious it’s entirely possible he literally wouldn’t even have noticed until someone smacked him over the head with it
- see I’m very happy they found the cure but I don’t fucking trust it b/c the pattern of these books tends to be to give you one moment of ‘oh phew everything is going to be okay’ about 2/3 into the story and THEN everything goes to hell and fifty pages later laurence is dissociating and napoleon has conquered prussia
- THERE WE GO RIGHT ON SCHEDULE
temeraire is never going to let laurence go anywhere without him again and rightly so
- hasn’t mrs erasmus been through enough. can’t she just be allowed to chill
- this is really cool world building but I’m too stressed out to appreciate it
really enjoy the description of architecture tho this sounds so awesome
- sfahdfklsahdfksjda laurence making sure his clothes are as washed and presentable as possible... I can’t with you you beautiful idiot
- TEMERAIRE OH MY GOD IS HE HERE IS LAURENCE HALLUCINATING PLS SAY HE’S ACTUALLY HERE
- ...well I mean if anyone has a freudian excuse for being kind of dickish I guess it would be these guys? it’s actually pretty chill of them to only flog one of them (laurence, because he just can’t play it any way but stupid lawful good at every turn) and not just killing them all I guess, they kept them fed and stuff
- oh thank god
- temeraire you are the most darling dragon boy and I love you
I was really really worried for a moment there that the reference to the Colosseum was a not-so-subtle hint they would have to gladiator fight to the death but thankfully they were basically just calling in a parliament
- DID THIS MOTHERFUCKER JUST STAB A CHILD IN THE STOMACH?? I HOPE HE ACCIDENTALLY SHOOTS HIMSELF IN THE DICK AND DIES pls say demane is going to be okay
- aw okay finally something good for mrs erasmus I will take it
- laurence you useless fool of a narrator is demane okay??
- god roland is just so cool naomi novik really gave us a jovial butch silver fox aviator lady huh... she did that for us and I for one am full of gratitude
- oh thank GOD (hm I sense a running theme here lol) the kid is going to be okay I can breathe again
- iskierka the pirate captain + temeraire’s reaction... perfect
- ;____________; I would lay down my life for temeraire and also that’s a gutpunch of a moodswing... the perfect hilarity of ‘that is an ugly hill’ immediately followed by That... jesus
- awww every time volly shows up again is a joy (temrer!!!)
- laurence... laurence you need to stop asking people to marry you because you never actually really fucking mean it!!!!! have you learned nothing about yourself since book 1, trust your goddamn instincts for once in your life you and roland have been doing perfectly okay thus far as like... affectionate fuckbuddies right?
(her reaction was priceless tho god bless)
- aaaah there we go the british government is looking more like itself... welcome to the world of realpolitik laurence I’m really sorry :(
- “It is only dragons, you know” JANE ROLAND WTF DID YOU JUST SAY
- “This government is not of my party; my king is ill and mad; but still I am his subject. You have sworn no oath, but I have.” He paused. “I have given my word.”
:) this is... fine
(like. I know this is necessary character growth and he’s basically been a waste of a good man in service to a government like this the whole time and the writing’s been on the wall since book 1 but I don’t want this to be happening to hiiiiim)
- tfw... ur dragon boi is so good... that being anything less than good for him in turn is unthinkable...................... b o i
- ...jane doesn’t really know him very well if she didn’t see this coming from a mile off tho does she
I mean I guess she has other stuff to think about but this shouldn’t come as a surprise to anyone
- remember when he thought the entire corps was weird and now he’s finally at home there... and has to leave it behind :):):) super extra fine is what this is
- yeah okay laurence definitely has a crush on ol’ bonaparte noting that down lol he’s all but blushing after that kiss on the cheek
also... if you just overlook the dictator thing for a moment is napoleon wrong about what he’s saying tho. (no and not even laurence is prepared to say so he’s just going to go back there and get murdered anyway b/c idk lawful good is dumb as fuck sometimes I guess)
It’s really cool how the author shows that napoleon has a better handle on laurence’s psychology after barely meeting him than a lot of people he’s known for years now, though, really adds to his menace and appeal as a character
- wow uh that’s one way to end a book... it’s actually tipped over from tragedy into a strange sort of hilarity for me now: he literally got sued out of his life’s earnings for being a decent human being, committed treason for the same reason and is about to be hanged for thinking genocide might have been a step too far -- in the span of thirty pages. I believe ‘that escalated quickly’ is not too much of an exaggeration here
- SIPHO IS GONNA WRITE BOOKS ONE DAY YOU GUYS!!!! I PROUDLY WELCOME OUR SECOND NERD TO THE CREW
- I think this one might be my least favorite so far? not that I disliked it, it’s just the one that’s hit the worst by the fact that there’s not always that much time spent with the cultures central to the book; tswana seems really interesting but because of the way the plot played out and our limited perspective though laurence it just didn’t work for me? the cool shit comes in sipho’s book at the end, like how thoroughly they kicked the europeans out of the coast of africa, which is very cathartic (I will say that most of the second book being set on the ship and then only a sliver of it is actually in china annoyed me too haha)
I have the distinct feeling this book is setting up for some Misery and breaking of the pattern a bit in the next one though, which will be interesting! ONWARDS TO MORE PAIN AND LAURENCE IS ALREADY PASSIVELY SUICIDAL FROM THE OUTSET SO LIKE... I’M SURE THIS WILL BE REAL FUN :)
maybe my boy will be back tho? silver linings silver linings clinging to some silver linings
53 notes
·
View notes
Photo
Natalie Dupree (Emily Rose) Harry’s Law 2x11 Gorilla My Dreams (2012) 2/ 2
Jugde Lucas Kirkland: Guardianship of a gorilla? Are you serious?
Mike Horace: A gorilla she stole.
Harry Korn: She did not steal him. He escaped from a local zoo, he ventured onto her property, perhaps intuitively, since he -
Judge: Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. You are?
Horace: I’m Mike Horace, Your Honor. I represent the Cincinnati Presbyterian Good Fellows Zoo.
Judge: That’s a lot of names.
Horace: Well, my client owns this animal, and I would ask -
Harry: That presumes the animal is capable of being owned. I would ask Your Honor to afford the gorilla the status of personhood for the sake of this proceeding.
Judge: I’m is this a joke?
Harry: Your Honor, I’ve looked into this creature’s eyes. Apes are a lot less inhuman than we would like to think. Our DNA and theirs is 98% a match. The gorilla we’re talking about today uses an iPad. He knows sign language. He thinks. He reasons. He communicates.
Judge: Counsel, counsel has any court in this country granted personhood status to an ape?
Harry: No. But other countries have. And here at home, the great ape protection act was reintroduced to congress in 2011. The day is coming, Your Honor. There’s a qualitative shift happening in the way we view the animal world, especially when it comes to apes.
Tommy Jefferson: Your Honor, I, too, looked into the eyes of this beast, and I felt a kinship. How about you hear from our client, Natalie Dupree, who’s been living with this beast for the last month.
Horace: Ms. Dupree does not have any standing to assert -
Harry: She has foundation. She studied primatology in college, she’s been the primary caretaker of this gorilla. If we’re to consider the best interest of the ape, which I would submit we should, Natalie is uniquely qualified to bear witness on that.
Horace: This woman committed a theft. And and we’re to reward her by giving her a day in court?
Harry: This isn’t about her. It’s about the ape.
Judge: All right. Where is this animal now?
Harry: At my client’s farm.
Judge: That’s not gonna fly. I’m gonna hear from your witness, but in the meantime, the gorilla goes back to the zoo. That’s all.
***
Natalie Dupree: [signing and English] It’s just going to be for a short time, Wentworth. Okay? We’re going to get you out. But you need to go back, just for a short time. Okay?
Tommy: [trying to sign at the same time] Everything will be okay. It’s gonna be okay. We’re gonna fight for you. We’re gonna fight. And everything’ll be okay.
***
Natalie: Well, I had just come home from work. I had some groceries in my hand, and I got this feeling, like I was being watched. And I looked over at the hedges and there were these big eyes sort of peering out at me.
Tommy: Were you frightened?
Natalie: Of course I was. There was a gorilla in the bushes. I was scared to death.
Tommy: And then he came walking out at you?
Natalie: Very tentatively. I could see that either he was afraid himself, or that he somehow was sensitive to my fear. That’s what I remember being struck by first, was his powers of perception, if not empathy.
Tommy: So then what happened after he came out of the bushes?
Natalie: Well, he kept walking forward. And from his body language, I could tell that, like I said earlier, that somehow he sensed I was afraid. And so he took my hand, ever so gently, and he caressed my palm, like what he did with you and Harry. And then then he signed “Hello”. I think I gasped. This was this was like straight out of a Disney movie.
Tommy: So Ms. Dupree, where did you think this ape had come from?
Natalie: I’d seen the reports on the news about the zoo escape, so I knew that his name was Wentworth, that he was very docile.
Tommy: Now I understand you brought along some video.
Natalie: Yeah, I did. Just a little footage, just to give you an idea.
Tommy: I’m going to roll it, and then you can tell us what we’re seeing.
Natalie: Okay. So I brought him an iPad ‘cause I’d read the chimpanzees and orangutans were using them. And that’s what he did to the first one. But then, a day later he’s doing puzzles and finger painting.
Judge: Ms. Dupree, you haven’t manipulated this footage in any way?
Natalie: Judge, orangutans are using these things to video chat with other orangutans in different zoos. Oh, he likes opera.
Judge: How smart, in human terms, would you say he is?
Natalie: I would say he’s the equivalent to a two or three-year-old child. Oh, and I I probably should’ve edited this out, but it gives you a sense. He wasn’t toilet trained at the zoo, by the way. He learned that in two days. People magazine.
Horace: You have reason to think he’s been mistreated at the zoo?
Natalie: Yes. Yes, he’s the only gorilla there.
Horace: That’s mistreatment?
Natalie: In the wild, gorillas lead extremely social lives. They have friends, they have family. They love, they laugh, and they’re active. In your zoo, he sits alone all day and does nothing.
Horace: But he could never be set free. He doesn’t have the skill set to survive in the wild.
Natalie: Yeah, but there are sanctuaries, there are other zoos where there’s other gorillas. At least he’d have some sort of social and emotional life. I’m sorry, but it’s cruel to stick him in isolated captivity in Cincinnati Presbyterian.
Horace: Because he can use an iPad?
Natalie: No, because it’s inhumane. He has an IQ of almost 90.
Horace: But where do we draw the line? Dogs, especially service dogs, have displayed extraordinary intelligence. Should we grant them personhood status? What about ducks? I’ve been told ducks are smart. You lease your property out to shoot ducks, right? Isn’t that how you first met Ms. Korn, and Mr. Jefferson?
Natalie: Look, I’m not an animal activist. I eat meat, I wear leather and yes, yes, I make a little money leasing my land out to duck hunters. But this case is about great apes. They’re different.
Horace: We use apes for biomedical research. Are you against that?
Natalie: 100%.
Horace: Children dying of leukemia this research could cure them. But you say, no, better the ape be happy.
Natalie: Mr. Horace, if you want to make the argument that sacrificing an ape is worth saving a child, then go on ahead, but that’s not what we’re talking about, are we? We’re talking about the cruel and abusive treatment of sticking an intelligent being in a zoo and charging people admission for entertainment. And last time I checked, that did not cure leukemia.
Horace: But it’s an animal, you’ve come into this court asking the court to treat him as a person. Now if we actually do that, what do we say to the next guy out there who happens to love dolphins?
Mike Horace: Look, uh, my client, too, loves this animal. And not just because people pay admission to see him. But he is an animal. To somehow call him a person, even for the sake of a legal proceeding why? Because, uh, he’s pretty smart? A lot of animals are. Dolphins, dogs. Because it feels emotions? Well, so do elephants. Elephants will mourn the loss of family members for years. Like it or not, we do practice speciesism. We eat animals because they taste good. We kill them for clothing, sometimes vanity. We use them for medical testing. We whip their behinds coming down the home stretch. We coop them up, and we own them. We own them. Under the law, these animals are considered property, under the law, this animal is the property of the Cincinnati Presbyterian Good Fellows Zoo. It’s as simple as that.
Harry Korn: Well, I’m glad you called it for what it is: speciesism. ‘Cause that’s what it is. Following Mr. Horace’s logic suppose a being from another planet showed up, IQ of 300, had the wherewithal to reverse climate change and told really funny jokes. I mean, he’d get no rights here ‘cause he’s nonhuman? We could just throw him in a zoo and charge admission? I don’t think that’s what any of us want. And yet, under Mr. Horace’s argument, the law is the law. Your Honor, the law evolves as we learn. Always has. I understand there’s a slippery slope problem. Today it’s a gorilla; next it’s a dolphin. Soon people will be trying to stop me from shooting a lousy duck. Which I look forward to. I like shooting ducks. I don’t know where we draw the line here. But if we have a being of real intelligence, capable of showing compassion, one that possesses self-awareness, has language skills, a being that lives a social and emotional life, I have no problem drawing the line there. And as I said at the beginning, I’ve looked into this gorilla’s eyes. I challenge anybody here to do the same and not see something a little human. But in the end, it’s not about the ape’s humanity, is it? It’s about ours. How do we, as a species capable of feeling and crying and caring, how do we lock up another being that This ape laughs. He learns. He reasons. He plays jokes. He grieves. He worries. And right now, he’s worried sick about having to stay at the Cincinnati Presbyterian Good Fellows Zoo.
Judge Lucas Kirkland: I certainly agree with you, Miss Korn. The law is evolving on this, and we’re seeing the legal rights of animals expanded by the day. But the problem with granting actual personhood status is: what’s the test? Can’t be IQ. As we’ve seen, certain animals have more intelligence than some humans. Emotion? Well, how do you measure that? Maybe it’s the empathy chip. But most of our successful CEOs are missing that one. This is why speciesism has always been very pragmatic, at least from a a legal standpoint. I completely support, even cheer, the continued expansion of legal rights for animals, especially when it comes to the great apes. But looking at where the law stands today, animals, even the great apes, are considered property. And the property in question belongs to the zoo. The motion for legal guardianship is denied.
***
Zoologist: He’s been a little grumpy today.
Natalie: Tell me about it.
Tommy: Hey, where’s that tiger I shot at? You got him here?
Harry: Would you get over the stupid tiger.
Natalie: Hey, Wenty?
Zoologist: Oh, he can sulk with the best of them.
Natalie: Oh, yeah, I’ve seen it. Hey, Wenty.[signing] Will you come over here, please? Hey, stop being childish. I want to talk to you for a second.
Tommy: Show him your ass, Harry, that’ll get him over.
Harry: Show him yours.
Natalie: Hey, honey. Hey. [signing] We’re gonna try to get you out of the zoo, okay? We tried very hard, and we’re gonna still try. But you just you have to live here just a little bit longer.
Harry: [signs same?, points towards Natalie] What she said. Do you think he knows we’re really trying?
Natalie: Wenty? Wenty?[signing] We’re gonna get you out somehow. All right? We’ll we’ll get you out.
Harry: What was that?
Natalie: He, um. [signing] I miss you, too.[/signing] I really think we should go home. I don’t want him to see me cry. Bye, Wenty. [signing] We’ll be back. Okay? I’ll be back.
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Autobiography
Writing an autobiography gives you the chance to relive your own life – and to edit it to suit yourself. Although we readers may think that an autobiography allows us inside the writer’s head, this is an illusion. We see only what we are allowed to see, and who is to tell how much is fiction, how much is fact? Often the better known the person, the less interesting the book. Generals’ and politicians’ memories tend to rehash old battles; showbiz autobiographies tend to revive old triumphs and pay off old scores. Some writers, as different as Maya Angelou and Laurie Lee, have made a speciality out of auto- biography and because their books concentrate on place and other people’s characters as much as their own, they are often the most enjoyable of all.
Martin Amis, Experience (2000). The énfant terrible of English fiction has now reached middle age, and this reflective book, moving in its meditations on time and loss, is one of the results. Very candid, funny and revealing.
Maya Angelou, I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings (1969). Singer, dancer and black rights activist tells scathing story of growing up in racist Southern USA. Also: Gather Together in My Name; Singin’ and Swingin’ and Gettin’ Merry Like Christmas; The Heart of a Woman; All God’s Children Need Travelling Shoes.
Vera Brittain, Testament of Youth (1933). Upper-middle-class young woman becomes battlefield nurse in the First World War and finds her attitudes to herself and her society completely changed. A classic. Also: Testament of Friendship; Testament of Experience.
Jung Chang, Wild Swans (1991). The author grew up in Mao’s China, only escaping to study abroad after the Cultural Revolution. Through her own story and those of her mother and grandmother, she tells the unhappy story of China in the twentieth century.
Frederick Douglass, Narrative of the Life of an American Slave (1845). Moving recollections of life as a slave in the pre-Civil War South by man who went on to become the first great African–American orator and leader.
Gerald Durrell , My Family and Other Animals (1956). Idyllic childhood of young naturalist in 1930s Corfu. The animals are described with zestful seriousness; the humans (including brother Lawrence) are like the cast of some eccentric farce. A classic. Also: Birds, Beasts and Relatives; Fillets of Place.
Richard Feynman , Surely You’re Joking, Mr Feynman (1985). Endearing, entertaining and intellectually stretching memoir by Nobel Prize-winning physicist who added new realms of meaning to the word ‘eccentric’.
Janet Frame, An Autobiography (1990). Compendium of three books: To the Island, about growing up in rural New Zealand, An Angel At My Table, a scarring account of eight years in a mental hospital, and The Envoy From Mirror City, about trying to make a career as a writer, falling in love and finding happiness at last.
Edmund Gosse , Father and Son (1907). Classic account of two generations clashing in the story of Gosse’s relationship with his God-fearing, terrifying father and his attempts to fashion his own character.
Michael Holroyd, Basil Street Blues (1999). Acclaimed biographer of Strachey and Shaw turns the spotlight on his own eccentric family in a richly enjoyable, very funny book.
Brian Keenan , An Evil Cradling (1992). Keenan turns his terrible experiences as a hostage in Beirut into a luminous, beautifully written account of suffering, friendship and forgiveness.
Laurie Lee , Cider With Rosie (1959). A childhood in rural Gloucestershire is recalled with a loving exactness that never strays into unthinking nostalgia.
Primo Levi , If This is a Man (1947). Levi’s unsparing memoir of life in Auschwitz forces us to contemplate both the depths and the heights of the human spirit.
Frank McCourt , Angela’s Ashes (1996). Compelling story of surviving, with humour and humanity intact, a childhood spent in poverty and deprivation in 1930s and 1940s Limerick. Sometimes harrowing, often very funny. ’Tis is a sequel continuing McCourt’s story after he emigrated to New York as a young man.
Tobias Wolff, This Boy’s Life (1999). How to survive the perils and pleasures of a typical American adolescence when you’re living in a very untypical (for the 1950s) family.
Also recommended: Andrea Ashworth, Once in a House on Fire Diana Athill, Stet Brendan Behan, Borstal Boy Bruce Chatwin, What Am I Doing Here? Robert Graves, Goodbye to All That Ben Hamper, Rivethead John McGahern, Memoir Vladimir Nabokov, Speak, Memory John Peel, Margrave of the Marshes Lorna Sage, Bad Blood Wole Soyinka, Ake Peter Ustinov, Dear Me Joan Wyndham, Love Lessons
#STARTPOINTS#AUTOBIOGRAPHY#AMIS_Martin#ANGELOU_Maya#BRITTAIN_Vera#CHANG_Jung#DOUGLASS_Frederick#DURRELL_Gerald#FEYNMAN_Richard#FRAME_Janet#GOSSE_Edmund#HOLROYD_Michael#KEENAN_Brian#LEE_Laurie#LEVI_Primo#MCCOURT_Frank#WOLFF_Tobias
0 notes
Text
I workout because I really love breakfast second breakfast elevenses shirt
I love her sooo much I workout because I really love breakfast second breakfast elevenses shirt . But she loves my husband the most which is fine with me. She has come a long way and I am proud of her Kita got beat for not letting the male chihuahua mate with her she would bite the male and would get beat sooooo sad and that broke her in to pieces and she didn’t trust no one and now she only trusts me and my husband. Let’s hear it for the winner of our Thanksgiving sweeps, Diane Pecoraro! Diane wins a collector’s edition Snoopy plush toy, Peanuts holiday story book and Woodstock plush toy! Hit LIKE to give her a congrats! I am home sick today, boo. Let’s start a thread of happy! Share your memes, jokes, stories.
I workout because I really love breakfast second breakfast elevenses shirt, hoodie, sweater, longsleeve and ladies t-shirt
Classic Ladies
Hoodie
Long Sleeve
Sweatshirt
Unisex
As always, bonus points for Snoopy and baby elephants I workout because I really love breakfast second breakfast elevenses shirt . My land is a safe harbor; Sicily has always been a stage of strong contradictions and at the same time a mother of surprising and eternal beauties, a savor of the slow passing Time here, which you Can feel and taste everywhere ,this warm and enveloping light, colors and tastes, ways of living relationships close to my My native retreat is my land, my family. Hoodie, long-sleeved shirt, female tee, men's shirt, 3-hole shirt, V-neck shirt. So you married a beast. Look at the bright side. That beast happens to have an amazing library, one that has more books than you could read in three lifetimes, not to mention supremely comfortable chairs and perfect lighting. It's a dream library and the beast doesn't mind if you spend all your time there. He's not a bad beast and with all those books to distract you, you'll forget everything else. Life is full of tradeoffs and we think getting a fantastic library is worth whatever you have to trade for it. Happy reading, Mrs. Beast.
You Can See More Product: https://trendteeshirts.com/product-category/trending/
Read the full article
0 notes
Text
I workout because I really love breakfast second breakfast elevenses shirt
I love her sooo much I workout because I really love breakfast second breakfast elevenses shirt . But she loves my husband the most which is fine with me. She has come a long way and I am proud of her Kita got beat for not letting the male chihuahua mate with her she would bite the male and would get beat sooooo sad and that broke her in to pieces and she didn’t trust no one and now she only trusts me and my husband. Let’s hear it for the winner of our Thanksgiving sweeps, Diane Pecoraro! Diane wins a collector’s edition Snoopy plush toy, Peanuts holiday story book and Woodstock plush toy! Hit LIKE to give her a congrats! I am home sick today, boo. Let’s start a thread of happy! Share your memes, jokes, stories.
I workout because I really love breakfast second breakfast elevenses shirt, hoodie, sweater, longsleeve and ladies t-shirt
Classic Ladies
Hoodie
Long Sleeve
Sweatshirt
Unisex
As always, bonus points for Snoopy and baby elephants I workout because I really love breakfast second breakfast elevenses shirt . My land is a safe harbor; Sicily has always been a stage of strong contradictions and at the same time a mother of surprising and eternal beauties, a savor of the slow passing Time here, which you Can feel and taste everywhere ,this warm and enveloping light, colors and tastes, ways of living relationships close to my My native retreat is my land, my family. Hoodie, long-sleeved shirt, female tee, men's shirt, 3-hole shirt, V-neck shirt. So you married a beast. Look at the bright side. That beast happens to have an amazing library, one that has more books than you could read in three lifetimes, not to mention supremely comfortable chairs and perfect lighting. It's a dream library and the beast doesn't mind if you spend all your time there. He's not a bad beast and with all those books to distract you, you'll forget everything else. Life is full of tradeoffs and we think getting a fantastic library is worth whatever you have to trade for it. Happy reading, Mrs. Beast.
You Can See More Product: https://trendteeshirts.com/product-category/trending/
Read the full article
0 notes
Text
I workout because I really love breakfast second breakfast elevenses shirt
I love her sooo much I workout because I really love breakfast second breakfast elevenses shirt . But she loves my husband the most which is fine with me. She has come a long way and I am proud of her Kita got beat for not letting the male chihuahua mate with her she would bite the male and would get beat sooooo sad and that broke her in to pieces and she didn’t trust no one and now she only trusts me and my husband. Let’s hear it for the winner of our Thanksgiving sweeps, Diane Pecoraro! Diane wins a collector’s edition Snoopy plush toy, Peanuts holiday story book and Woodstock plush toy! Hit LIKE to give her a congrats! I am home sick today, boo. Let’s start a thread of happy! Share your memes, jokes, stories.
I workout because I really love breakfast second breakfast elevenses shirt, hoodie, sweater, longsleeve and ladies t-shirt
Classic Ladies
Hoodie
Long Sleeve
Sweatshirt
Unisex
As always, bonus points for Snoopy and baby elephants I workout because I really love breakfast second breakfast elevenses shirt . My land is a safe harbor; Sicily has always been a stage of strong contradictions and at the same time a mother of surprising and eternal beauties, a savor of the slow passing Time here, which you Can feel and taste everywhere ,this warm and enveloping light, colors and tastes, ways of living relationships close to my My native retreat is my land, my family. Hoodie, long-sleeved shirt, female tee, men's shirt, 3-hole shirt, V-neck shirt. So you married a beast. Look at the bright side. That beast happens to have an amazing library, one that has more books than you could read in three lifetimes, not to mention supremely comfortable chairs and perfect lighting. It's a dream library and the beast doesn't mind if you spend all your time there. He's not a bad beast and with all those books to distract you, you'll forget everything else. Life is full of tradeoffs and we think getting a fantastic library is worth whatever you have to trade for it. Happy reading, Mrs. Beast.
You Can See More Product: https://trendteeshirts.com/product-category/trending/
Read the full article
0 notes
Text
MST3K Turkey Day: The Long History of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Thanksgiving
https://ift.tt/3l4KHUl
Sometimes a long-running TV show finds itself linked to a certain holiday. Community had Christmas. The Simpsons has Halloween. Brooklyn 99 had Halloween, then changed it to Cinco de Mayo for scheduling reasons. Saturday Night Live has…Election Day, I guess? I probably should have thought this through a bit more.
While Mystery Science Theater 3000 has done a handful of Christmas-themed episodes (one major one per host, at least), the series has a much deeper relationship with Thanksgiving. Turkey Day is essentially its legacy. It started on Thanksgiving and it always comes back to that one Thursday in late November, whether the show is on the air or not.
Back in 1988, Joel Hodgson created a new show idea inspired by a random image from the liner notes of an Elton John album, wherein a couple of silhouettes sit in front of a movie screen. He and some robot puppets would watch bad movies and crack jokes. While the 15-minute proof of concept footage of him watching The Green Slime never made it to air, the world would be introduced to Mystery Science Theater 3000 on November 24 as he and Crow (here voiced by J. Elvis Weinstein) sat through Invaders from the Deep.
Well, only a very small piece of the world would be introduced. The show aired on KTMA-TV in Minnesota. Regardless, the first time MST3K hit the airwaves, it was Thanksgiving night.
The episode – and really the entire KTMA-TV season – wasn’t great. The idea was there, but they hadn’t come close to hitting its potential. It still found an audience and about a year later, it was airing on the Comedy Channel. That first season, which had Joel Hodgson as Joel Robinson, Weinstein as Tom Servo, and Trace Beaulieu as Crow T. Robot, was also pretty rough. It wasn’t until the second and third seasons (where Kevin Murphy had taken over the Servo role) that MST3K really started to find its footing.
On November 28, 1991, to celebrate MST3K’s third anniversary, Comedy Central put together the very first Turkey Day marathon. Starting at midnight and ending at 6 AM on the following day (!), they would air fifteen episodes in a row, accompanied by various Thanksgiving-based bumpers and sketches.
Keep in mind, this was long before the days of The Daily Show and South Park, so Comedy Central’s pool of popular shows wasn’t the deepest. This was back when you’d turn on the channel in the middle of the day and see episodes of Soap or some ’80s movie about a mime joining a ninja academy. No really, that was a thing. They played it all the time.
In 1992, they kicked up Turkey Day a notch. While still a 15-episode marathon, it started on Wednesday, November 25 at 6 PM with the debut showing of The Beatniks. By the time they reached the home stretch at 10 PM on Thanksgiving night, they played the episode premiere for Fire Maidens of Outer Space. At midnight, to finish things off, a half-hour special called This is MST3K was aired.
They kept many of the bumpers from the first Turkey Day, added some more, and each episode was introduced with a segment where Dr. Forrester would force-feed TV’s Frank some kind of turkey dish themed to the featured movie.
1993 went even bigger by adding one more episode to the marathon, making the whole thing 32 hours long. This time, the framing bumpers took the form of clips from a party that an MST3K fan won via contest. Initially, Comedy Central wanted the guys from the show to put together some segments with a tiny budget, but it was probably for the better that they didn’t. By the time Turkey Day ’93 aired, Mike Nelson had taken over for Joel as the show’s host and that major transition was still less than a month old.
This time the marathon went from 6pm on November 24 to 2am on November 26. At 10pm on Thanksgiving night, they premiered the episode featuring Beginning of the End.
The next year’s special episode premieres were Kitten with a Whip (starting the marathon) and Zombie Nightmare (ending it). Using Zombie Nightmare worked out perfectly because that movie’s antagonist was played by none other than Adam West and who better to host the Turkey Day segments? Though in retrospect, Adam West was pretty much everywhere in the mid-90s, so it wasn’t the biggest deal ever.
Still, it was nice and even featured appearances from other MST3K targets like Robert Vaughn, Beverly Garland, and Mamie Van Doren. The main focus was Adam West cooking turkeys themed to each episode and delighting us with his smooth, tryptophan-laced voice.
The 1995 edition (officially called “MST3K Anthology” despite still airing on Thanksgiving) existed to debut the seventh season of the show, known for its meager six episodes. As Comedy Central was losing interest in the series, the marathon was shortened to fifteen hours. It also featured a rare inclusion of a Season 1 episode, The Crawling Hand.
What made MST3K Anthology so memorable was not that it was the last hurrah for Comedy Central’s annual marathons or the shortened string of episodes. It was for the premiere of Episode 701, Night of the Blood Beast and the interesting way that episode was handled. Throughout the marathon, episodes would be introduced via Dr. Forrester being forced to host an impromptu Thanksgiving party with guests including preexisting characters Jack Perkins (Mike Nelson), Mr. B Natural (Bridget Nelson), Pitch (Paul Chaplin), Kitten with a Whip (Kevin Murphy), and Michael Feinstein (also Mike Nelson). This led to the airing of Night of the Blood Beast, where not only were the host segments based on celebrating Thanksgiving, but it was shown that Forrester’s Thanksgiving party was still going on.
In later airings of that episode, the host segments were completely different and had zero connection to Thanksgiving. Everything inside the theater remained the same. They just took a holiday-themed episode and made it run-of-the-mill for the sake of easier reruns. The host segments from the MST3K Anthology version of Night of the Blood Beast are available as extras on various DVD releases.
MST3K would spend three seasons on the Sci-Fi Channel, but would only get one Thanksgiving marathon, taking place in 1997. Even then, it was a bit half-assed. The marathon aired from 7:30am on November 27 to 4am on November 28, but with a six-hour break in the middle to play a couple of Star Wars movies. It also lacked any special flavor to it, foregoing any special bumpers or segments. No episode premieres. Just a handful of Sci-Fi era episodes and a lengthy Star Wars break.
Then it was sixteen years of silence. MST3K was cancelled after its tenth season in 1999. Those involved in the show mostly split into two teams. Some followed Joel as he started his new venture Cinematic Titanic. Others followed Mike, whose failed series The Film Crew was followed by the much more successful RiffTrax. That left MST3K rights owner Jim Mallon, who tried to move forward with an animated web series starring the robots and…the less said about it the better.
Joel was seeing enough money coming to him from DVD sales to realize that despite being cancelled a long time ago, there were still people wanting MST3K. With a 25-year anniversary DVD set coming out, Joel decided to promote it with the return of Turkey Day. Turkey Day ’13 featured Joel introducing the six most popular episodes of the show, which he’d also give hints about ahead of time. Streamed online, the special ended with him at the dinner table with Servo and Crow, causing speculation amongst the fans.
Read more
TV
The Best Thanksgiving TV Episodes
By Alec Bojalad
Movies
Best Thanksgiving Movies to Watch This Holiday Season
By David Crow and 3 others
There was more speculation a year later when Turkey Day ’14 had the two bots regularly appear during the host segments, voiced once again by J. Elvis Weinstein and Trace Beaulieu. There would also be segments of Joel, Trace, and Frank Conniff sitting back and reminiscing about the history of this MST3K/Thanksgiving connection.
While riding the wave of the previous year’s success, this installment of Turkey Day was also promoting a DVD set Mystery Science Theater 3000: The Turkey Day Collection. The set mainly featured four random episodes (Jungle Goddess, Painted Hills, Screaming Skull, and Squirm), but with Servo and Crow hosting intro segments to give it the illusion of a Turkey Day marathon.
By early November of 2015, shit had hit the fan. Joel had bought the rights to MST3K from Mallon and started up a Kickstarter to raise money for new episodes. Wouldn’t you know it, Turkey Day ’15 happened right during said Kickstarter. The theme of the marathon was mostly Joel hanging out with different Kickstarter employees, but it also had newly-announced Season 11 host Jonah Ray Skype his way into the broadcast to introduce one of the episodes.
The following year was pretty chill, all things considered. The new season hadn’t started yet, but it was very much on the way. Just not far along enough to show us any clips or give us any juicy news. Joel and Jonah casually hosted the six most popular episodes as polled by the fans. Nothing too crazy.
The chillness continued in 2017. This time, things were hosted by Joel, Jonah, and Felicia Day. Things seemed pedestrian with another six episodes being streamed online, but there were two important things about this marathon.
First off, everyone realized that Joel’s arms are beefier than expected, netting him the nickname Swole Hodgson.
Second, after it seemed like they were off the air, it bounced back with a special announcement that – yes, Virginia – MST3K was coming back for a twelfth season on Netflix! It’s a Turkey Day miracle! Happy Thanksgiving, you ol’ savings and loan!
Turkey Day ’18 was a bit complicated. Rather than air on Thanksgiving, the marathon streamed on the Sunday prior, once again hosted by Joel and Jonah. What made it special was that Netflix had allowed them to include the Season 11 instant classic Cry Wilderness. As for why they didn’t air the Turkey Day marathon on actual Turkey Day?
Well, Thanksgiving was when MST3K’s twelfth season debuted all at once on Netflix. Also known as MST3K: The Gauntlet, the six-episode season was based around the idea of binging the whole thing in one day. Kind of like what MST3K fans have been using Thanksgiving for for many years. While it wasn’t on the exact date as the first KTMA-TV episode in 1988, both that debut and this debut happened on the same holiday and that’s good enough as a way to celebrate the show’s 30-year anniversary.
cnx.cmd.push(function() { cnx({ playerId: "106e33c0-3911-473c-b599-b1426db57530", }).render("0270c398a82f44f49c23c16122516796"); });
Unfortunately, much like the Comedy Central days, having a season of only six episodes was a bad omen. Merely a day before Thanksgiving 2019, it was announced that Netflix had canceled the show. The jerks. Any hope that Turkey Day ’19 was going to include some kind of announcement about a thirteenth season was immediately crushed and murdered like it was one of the Brute Man’s victims.
That said, the marathon that year did feature segments filmed behind-the-scenes at the third MST3K live tour. In a pre-COVID time, this was how Joel and the rest intended to keep MST3K in the minds of the public until the Netflix contract runs out and they can search out new outlets.
Up next is Turkey Day ’20. Right now, details are a little scarce, but they are figuring out the six movies via fan votes. A tournament of 24 episodes has been set up on MST3K.org, though I’m not quite sure how a tournament leads to six winners instead of just the one.
The post MST3K Turkey Day: The Long History of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Thanksgiving appeared first on Den of Geek.
from Den of Geek https://ift.tt/2JbZxLE
0 notes
Photo
Smoke and Mirrors
Chapter 9: Ron III - I’m Fine (link to full story on FF.net)
Word Count: 3K words
Warnings: Some swearing
Featuring: Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger
Ron was ready to die.
This was it.
It must be.
His stomach was in knots and he no longer even knew whether he was the right way up or not. He clung on desperately to the plush-toy falcon as they span relentlessly in mid-air.
“I think we’re here,” he heard Hermione muster out before they were both violently hurtled to the ground.
It took Ron a few moments to recognize that the ground they had landed on was actually a thick, soft carpet and not a hard, concrete floor.
He pulled himself to his feet slowly and tried to take in his new surroundings, but he was instantly hit with an intense dizziness that caused him to crash straight back down in a heap.
Ron could feel his stomach rupturing on the inside.
He tried to hold down whatever it was that was coming back up, possibly the steak and kidney pudding that he’d had for lunch, but despite his best efforts he could only ensure that it didn’t escape his mouth.
The taste of his mouth filling with vomit then caused him to throw up all over the cream-coloured Kashmir carpet anyway.
He reluctantly looked towards Hermione, embarrassed to have made such an idiot of himself in front of her and humiliated that she would have to see him in such a state, but he was relieved to see that she too had just vomited.
There was an expression of upmost disgust and dejection on her face, as Ron saw some runny, dark coloured sick dribble down her chin. She gasped slightly when their eyes met.
“You’ve got sick on your chin… did you know?” Ron joked in a fairly hoarse voice, as Hermione laughed softly and cleared herself up after retrieving her wand.
Ron had just began vanishing the vomit he’d left on the carpet himself, when the brown door to the big function room swung open – and a tall, dark haired woman who looked like she was in her mid-forties strolled in.
“First time using a long-distance intercontinental portkey?” she asked in a knowing voice, as Ron and Hermione both nodded awkwardly. She had a slight accent, but not one that suggested she’d spent her entire life living in Australia.
“I remember my first time going from London to Sydney… nothing could prepare you for it. Trust me though I’ve been in charge of this portkey docking room for years and I’ve seen people chunder far worse than that. Some people even faint or pass out completely. Where is the port-
The woman stopped in her tracks as she saw the falcon in the middle of the floor.
“A bloody falcon! I suppose that’s Kingsley’s idea of a good gag. I’m a Wasps fan myself… I used to dread going into the Great Hall on a Monday morning when they’d beaten us at the weekend. Kingsley and his brother would always be the first to gloat… ah, those were simpler times… I’m Olivia by the way. Olivia Burke. You must be Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. It’s a great privilege to meet you both.”
Ron felt a small amount of embarrassment, but also great pride that someone from the Australian ministry would consider it such an honour to meet them both. He noticed a slight frown appear on her face as she studied the two of their faces in greater detail.
“I always knew you were all quite young… but to see how young you are in person…” Burke began, before a lump in her throat caused her to stop briefly. “Oh I’m sorry. I’m sorry… you’re here to get away from all of that.... Kingsley has made sure that you’ll have a good time and enjoy your stay in Australia. I can assure you that he spared absolutely no expense on this little trip for you both.”
“Oh but Oliv- Mrs Burke…” Hermione began before hesitating. Ron thought Olivia seemed to look a bit uncomfortable at being addressed as Mrs Burke.
“…there must be some kind of mistake. We’ve only come for a short visit whilst I find my parents,” Hermione said, as Ron gave her shoe a very slight kick. She caught his gaze for the slightest of seconds with an indignant look on her face. “We have a tent with us and we’re quite happy to pitch up wherever-
“Oh, Miss Granger!” Olivia interrupted. “Rest assured as soon as we have managed to locate and make contact with your parents we will contact you immediately. But whilst you wait your Minister has ensured that you both will be treated to the best in entertainment and culture that Wizarding Australia has to offer, whilst staying in the most lavish and luxurious accommodation that galleons can buy.”
Ron wasn’t one to readily accept any kind of hand-out or charity, but after all they’d been through in the last few years he rather liked the sound of that.
“But…” Hermione began, before Burke waved away her protests.
“No buts Miss Granger! You are both going to relax and enjoy yourselves and that is an order! Now if you’ll follow me I’ll be taking you to my colleague Brad, who will apparate you on to where you’ll be staying. I would take you myself, but well… I should have finished my night shift over an hour ago and I am absolutely shattered,” Olivia said, as Ron noticed the bags under her eyes.
“We’re awfully sorry to have imposed on you like-
“Nonsense, Miss Granger!” Olivia replied softly as she led them out of the office and through a long, bright yellow corridor. “You must forgive me if I sounded like I was complaining. It was a favour for an old friend to stay late to meet you both… and it is not every day even as the Head of Magical Transportation that you get to meet such decorated war heroes.”
Ron suddenly felt a bit self-conscious that the Head of Magical Transportation for Australia had seen his vomit.
“So if you’re just finishing a nightshift… what’s the time here, then?” Ron asked.
“Just past seven o’clock in the morning, Mister Weasley,” she answered.
“Bloody hell! So we were spinning in that portkey for nine hours?! No wonder we both chucked up!” he exclaimed.
“Not quite,” Olivia replied. “Australia is just on a different time-zone to England. It is nine hours ahead. You were only using that portkey for around two minutes and thirty seconds… which I can agree does still feel like a very long time, especially on your first go… but it really is nothing to how long it would a take a muggle to get from one pond to the other… they’d be looking at closer to twenty four hours of travel to get from London to Sydney.”
“Oh,” he mumbled. “But wait… that means we’ve travelled in time… to the future…I always wanted to have a go using one of those time turners!” he added happily, still kind of confused, but excited by what they had just done.
It had been Friday night when they’d set off, but now it was Saturday morning - what a mind-fuck, Ron thought.
Olivia and Hermione seemed to exchange a knowing glance, which went right over Ron’s head as he still tried to come to terms with the strangeness of it all.
“Ah. Here is Brad now,” Olivia noted, as they saw a short, fairly old looking wizard in the distance. He jumped up excitedly when he saw them and rushed over immediately.
“Brad… meet our esteemed guests and friends of Harry Potter… Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger.”
“How ya’ garn?” he blurted out. “I’m Brad, but me mates call me Bradd-o!”
They exchanged pleasantries, before Burke excused herself and presumably sauntered off home to her bed after she had reminded Brad that there was to be no dilly dallying.
Brad ushered them to latch onto his arms as he readied his wand, but Ron’s stomach still felt a little bit wobbly and he hesitated.
“I kno’ ya must ‘av ‘ad one heck of a trip on ya’ portkey... but trust me I’m an experienced apparatah… ya won’t even feel it, Mister Weasley, sir!”
“Just Ron is fine,” added, feeling a bit embarrassed at being called sir.
“Come on then, Ronn-o! Miss Burke told me no piss fartin’ around,” he replied as he indicated once again for Ron to grasp on. Ron relented and instantly felt the horrible lurch of apparation as they left the Australian Ministry of Magic.
They came to an abrupt halt and from the salty air and feel of the wind Ron could tell that they were now outside.
“Right-o here we are,” Brad said as Ron took in their surroundings.
It looked somewhat like a suburban muggle park, with lots of vibrant, green grass and giant trees, many of which Ron did not recognize. These trees were a lot more exotic than the ones he’d encountered at Hogwarts or the various forests they’d pitched up in whilst on the run in the countryside.
“Where exactly is it we are, if you don’t mind us asking?” Hermione enquired politely.
“Oh don’t worry, we ain’t stuck you up out in the bush. Ya’ still in Sydney. This is Woollahra an’ trust me, Miss Burke’s made sure ya’ gonna have an absolute ripper of a trip. Ya’ stayin’ at the brand new hotel they’ve built next to Australia Magizoo!”
“Australia Magizoo?” Ron asked curiously.
“It’s the biggest Magizoo in the world,” Hermione replied. “It only opened in 1990… Newt Scamander said in the foreword for Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them that it has the greatest collection of magical creatures ever assembled.”
“Sheila certainly knows her stuff!” Brad added.
Ron didn’t remember anything in his copy of Fantastic Beasts and Where To Find Them about a giant Magizoo in Australia. He thought that he would’ve surely remembered something like that, but then he recalled that he’d had Bill’s old copy of the book, which would’ve been published well before it was even built. Hermione’s parents would’ve no doubt bought her the newest edition available.
“Now ya’ hotel ain’t far from here, but before we head off I best teach ya’ both the most important spell ya’ gonna need for ya’ time in Australia,” Brad said, as he retrieved his wand from his pocket.
“This’ll keep the mozzies and all the other little buggers from bitin’ ya,” he assured, before pointing his wand at himself and waving it quite aggressively. “Impedio Insectum,” Brad cast, as a very feint, almost invisible trail of liquid smoke engulfed him, before he waved his wand in their direction and two new smoke clouds appeared and submerged Ron and Hermione.
The smoke smelt vaguely chemically, before it softy absorbed itself into Ron’s skin, briefly making his skin quite moist, before it then faded away as though it had never been there at all.
“That will keep them off ya’ until the next time ya’ have a wash!” Brad announced triumphantly, as they offered their thanks to him.
“Ya’ shouldn’t need the spell to protect ya’ skin from the sun that we all use in the summa’, doubt it will get hot enough for ya’ to worry about that,” he added, as he started walking north and ushered for them to follow him.
“Why’s that?” Ron questioned as they started following their guide. “I thought Australia was supposed to be really hot?”
“Not when we’re comin’ up ta winter Ronn-o, mate!” Brad chortled.
Ron gave Hermione a confused look.
“It’s the same as the time being on the other side of the spectrum, Ron,” she said. “Australians have their summer months during our winter months, so where it’s almost June here it must be approaching their winter… although it’s still not too cold I suppose.”
“Ah nah… won’t ever get as cold as you Brits have it!” Brad exclaimed from ahead of them, as he lead them through the park.
They soon reached a turning and saw what looked like a huge palace in the distance, which appeared to have several armed guards stationed outside it. The guards were all wearing a funny sort of big, black bushy hat – their outfits were finished off with a bright red jacket and dark black trousers. Ron couldn’t quite make out the big object they were all holding aloft in their right arm.
“Are they beef-eaters?” a flabbergasted Hermione asked.
“Huh?” Brad mumbled. “Oh ya’ mean the guards! Look bloody stupid don’t they! Ya wouldn’t catch me dead in one of those. But don’t ya’ worry, Miss Granger. They ain’t real muggoes!”
“Muggoes?” Ron and Hermione asked in unison.
“Or Muggles as you Brits like ta’ call ‘em. Muggoes. Muggles. Same difference,” Brad said as he shrugged.
“But why are there people dressed up as muggles outside?” Ron asked as they drew closer to the impressive castle, which was a real contrast to the only castle Ron had ever been in previously. It had far more in common with the pictures he’d seen of the glamorous looking Beauxbatons Academy than the gothic-inspired ancient Hogwarts architecture.
“Beats me Ronn-o, mate. Muggo culture’s meant to be all the rage right nah ya kno? Wizard tourism industry is boomin’ over ‘ere and up in Asia and The States,” Brad said, before pausing and hesitating slightly. “‘specially now nobody’s been wantin’ a go to Britain the last few years,” he added nervously.
“But why would witches or wizards ever need to stay in a hotel when travelling abroad?” Hermione inquired.
“You have all the space you ever need in a good tent. Just need somewhere to pitch. Even the richest guests were pitched up in the same place as us when we went to Cairo… they just had bigger tents that’s all” Ron added, as he noticed one of the guards slowly leaving his post to meet them.
“Beats me, kidd-o! But people don’t wanna stay in tents no more. They wanna have an experience,” Brad replied, raising his eyes dubiously as he said the last word and chuckled lightly. “Load o’ old bollocks if you ask me. Can’t beat a nice trip in a tent out woop-woop.”
Ron laughed awkwardly in agreement, but if he was honest he had absolutely no idea what or where in the hell a woop-woop was.
“They wanna live like the muggoes do,” Brad continued. “They want real muggo waiters and chefs in the restaurants… they want real muggo barbers to cut their hair…they want real muggo everything, mate!”
Ron couldn’t quite picture the appeal and thought that it was quite odd, but then he casted a joyous image in his mind of his Dad turning up like a little kid at Christmas, absolutely revelling in a muggle-themed hotel.
“G’day Bradd-o ya daft cunt,” greeted one of the black hatted fake muggle guards in a thick Australian accent.
“Alright Tezza, mate? Lookin’ sharp in that sack o’ shit you call a uniform. How’s Noreen and the kids doin’ these days, they good?” Brad replied.
“Sound-o, mate. Who have we got here then?” the guard asked, as he smiled at Ron and Hermione.
“Ron Weasley,” Ron said as he shook the man’s hand.
“And I’m Hermione Granger,” Hermione added politely.
“Bloody hell, Bradd-o! What’s a daft old bludger like you doing with our VIP guests?!” Tezza asked in disbelief.
“I told you, Tezza, mate. I’m a big deal down at the Ministry,” Brad coolly replied.
Tezza laughed loudly before patting Brad on the shoulder. “Ah I have missed ya, mate!” he remarked, as Ron noticed Hermione yawn, which in turn caused him to do the same thing.
Tezza and Brad exchanged a nervous look upon noticing this.
“I best get yous two off to check-in,” Tezza said. “I could get in some real shit if the boss finds out I kept ya’ waitin’ talkin’ to this dick-‘ead,” he added, throwing a wink at Brad.
“Cya later Tezza, mate,” Brad said, as he raised his middle-finger to his friend, who raised his in return.
“Well it was sure nice meeting ya’ both,” Brad remarked as he turned to face them.
“A pleasure to meet you too,” Hermione quickly responded.
“Thanks for showing us around,” Ron added.
“No worries Ronn-o, mate!” Brad quipped. “Should see the overtime I’m getting for doing the morning shift today. Anyway I best be off… should be able to sneak a smoke-o before anyone notices I’ve been gone too long.”
Ron watched Brad skip along back through the Woollahra wilderness.
“Miss Granger, would ya’ like me to carry ya bag for ya’?” Tezza asked as he guided them towards the extravagant gate of the hotel.
“Oh no… it’s quite alright… it’s enchanted you see,” Hermione said.
“Ah thank Merlin you’re not one of those VIP guests,” Tezza replied excitedly. “Some of them are dead keen on this muggo thing. They ask ya’ to carry their bags like ya’ would if ya’ was a real porter in a propa’ muggo hotel… but most the guests are so rich the bags are enchanted and light as a featha anyway!” he said in an incredulous tone as he adjusted his hat.
Ron laughed slightly at the thought of it.
“Now me boss made us all promise that we wouldn’t ask ya’ any sensitive questions, like. But me little boy would nevva forgive me if I didn’t ask ya’ just one.”
Ron gave Hermione an uneasy look, but she smiled slightly and nodded.
“Go ahead,” she said.
“Okay,” Tezza began, as he cleared his throat and eyed up Ron and Hermione with a gravely serious face.
Ron wondered what question the man would consider so important to ask that he would risk getting in trouble with his boss for.
It had to be about something massive.
Something really hard-hitting.
“Is it true what they say, like? Did You Know Who really not have a schnozza?”
#australia#Harry Potter#HarryPotter#harry potter fandom#harry potter fanfiction#hp fanfic#HP#HPF#hpff#hpfanfiction#fandom#fanfiction#fanfic#Ron#Ron Weasley#ronweasley#ron x hermione#hermione x ron#Hermione Granger#hermione#hermionegranger#hermione granger fanfiction#ROMIONE#romione fanfic
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
n0rtist
I'm n0Rtist
flowersforbones
tus ojos colorados
rafask8music
Rafael S Almeida
pysgod
buonanotte, boys
half-truths-and-hyperbole-louk
Louk Skywalker