#but i dont know how manh more year's i got left in me dewling w this .
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I don't vent on here cus ironically it feels so much more wide open here vs locked twitter but the dysphoria is so so so so so bad its making me disassociate so bad this week
#i want top surgery mroe than anything . literqlly life saving#i am a lot calmer about itt hen i was start of this year so like im safe#but i dont know how manh more year's i got left in me dewling w this .#i miss physical activity i miss dancing i miss working out#my binder doesnt keep shit in place im too fat for sports bras that wont pinch and they move anyway#i habent tried compression bras . sigh . i need to try trans tape again#if i can just . save up enough#i keep thinkin abt the covid checks and how i couldve fucking saved thwt money#instead i threw it on some1 who could never take enough#im tipsy . im sloppy lsitening to carly rae tje melatonin hitting but not enougj to sleep !!!#does a bear blog in the woods
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