i think its funny that so many people draw kirishima taller when in fact, bakugou has 2 centimeters on the guy. i think it's cause he slouches so much, maybe even kirishima is convinced he's taller

+bonus

Rapper Bae Pt. 2

About 3 months have passed since I’ve seen rapper Bae. It’s now June. I didn’t want to fumble my bag, as he’d been texting me asking when I’d be around. So, three of my good girlfriends and I decided we would go to Atlanta since the pandemic had NYC shut down. A plane was out of the question, so we booked a hotel, rented a car and took turns driving until we got to Georgia.

We finally reached the A, and headed straight to the nail salon. We all got our nails done, and then checked into the hotel. I did not tell Rapper Bae I was coming, so I texted him to let him know I was in his city. He immediately responded and told me to meet him that night as he would be shooting a music video/ having a PH party. I agreed.

So that evening my friends and I get all dressed up and headed out to one of the Lounges for dinner and Hookah. I ended up meeting up with a few other friends from ATL and headed to a next more party-vibe lounge. Around 1am we headed home. I just remembered that I was supposed to meet Rapper Bae so I texted him asking if we should still pull up. He said yes, so I tell my girls “let’s go to this Penthouse party that Rapper Bae is having!”

Do you believe these broads were “TOO TIRED” to go!? I said ... we’re in Atlanta for 3 days we should take every opportunity we can to have a good time we’ll sleep in the AM blah blah blah. Basically these girls refused to go, and let my DRUNK ASS take our rental to the location of the video shoot ALONE. I was mad that they didn’t want to come, but said fuckem, I’m going to see Rapper Bae!

So I turn on my gps and my drunk ass somehow gets to the penthouse. Why i didnt call an uber idk. I call Rapper Bae, and he sends someone down to get me. I get to the PH and there are the camera men again, shooting a whole entire music video. There is an island in the kitchen covered in handguns and ARs. The juxtaposition between the guns, his diamonds and this multi-million dollar penthouse was a sight to see. There were sound engineers, crew, and all types of people buzzing around the place. There was also an entourage I was meeting for the first time, and they behaved like hyenas circling prey when they asked me who I was and where my friends were. This was the first red flag.

So Rapper Bae hugs me and holds me similarly to last time, but I can tell he’s distracted by all the hustle and bustle of the video shoot. I realized there were two camera crews, one filming us for the documentary and one filming the actual video. So I sat down, and helped myself to some Ace of Spades while Rapper Bae went to shoot a scene on the balcony. 30 minutes pass by and I’m already annoyed. There’s a thirsty entourage member there that keeps trying to converse with me while Rapper Bae is outside. He kept looking at me so thirstily and asking about my friends (again). I’m drunk, so I ignored him. 45 minutes have now passed by, and I want some alone time with Rapper Bae.

So I get up from the couch and walk straight out onto the balcony in the middle of the scene. I walked straight up to Rapper Bae while he was shooting and told him I wanted time with him. The camera crew “cut” and Rapper Bae looked at me like he was beyond annoyed. I was wasting their time and money I guess, but idgaf. He told me to “go inside and wait for him.” I continued my drunken tantrum and started pulling at his arm for him to come with me (I know- cringe - but I was drunk). He then told the camera crew that he needed to take 15.

At this point, my spoiled ass is pretty pleased that my drunken tantrum had the desired effect. He comes up behind me and puts his arms around me and kisses me on the neck. He then leads me into this gorgeous master bedroom. We fall on the bed, and start kissing. He stands me up, and we start fucking in front of this floor to ceiling window. All of Buckhead could have seen us fucking that early morning for all I know. The sex was great. I passed out on the bed, and remember him getting into a huge marble shower. When i opened my eyes again, he was fully dressed and walking out of the room, I’m sure to get back to his video shoot.

I was pleased. I fell asleep there, figuring he would wake me up when it was time to leave. Fast-forward to 6:30am. I wake up and Rapper Bae isn’t next to me. I get up and open the door to search the rest of the Penthouse. There is NOBODY there but a sound engineer who is packing the last of his equipment and walking out the door. The PH has been cleaned professionally from top to bottom, as if no one was ever there. Rapper Bae is nowhere to be found.

I quickly get dressed to leave, when my phone gets a text. It’s Rapper Bae. The text tells me to “get out of there” because “something went down” between some guys while I was asleep, and Rapper Bae was rushed out of there by security. He left me there. To get kidnapped, raped or WHATEVER could have happened to a drunk girl in a strange city. It was in this moment i realized i was still drunk as hell and only 3 hours had actually passed since I fell asleep. I was so intoxicated, I could barely use my gps to get back to my hotel.

That was the last time I spoke to Rapper Bae. What he did to me was so fucked up and dangerous. I know I put myself in that situation, but I thought he would protect me. Then I remembered he was just a rapper, and I was just another girl. Despite all the affection he showed there was no apology, so I assume he couldn’t have cared less, and all that shit was fake.

Moral of the story is Do Not Trust Rappers !

haha here we go again

there's a lot of dumb ranting and 3 days worth of logs and a dream in here so im gonna spare evryone’s dashboard and just put it all under the cut.

tw bad memories, talk of unhealthy relations with food, and dreams about dead animals

I realized I kind of entirely forgot to write about what I did yesterday? I kind of did a lot. I know my mom wanted to work on getting tile laid out in front of her bathroom, so we worked together to scrub the concrete and wipe up all the dirt and dust and whatever was under the carpet and remove some of the nails in the floor and bring up a spiky metal strip between the bathroom door and where the carpet was. The other main thing I remember is deciding to continue work on my dress, sewing up the outer bodice, checking that the bodice and lining would fit together, deciding I’d rather have no different colored front panel, and working on the circle skirt. At first I tried cutting the fabric on my bed, but it wasn’t big enough and too lumpy. I contemplated asking my friends if I could borrow their dining table, but I ended up clearing off my own. After I traced and was in the middle of pinning, I accidentally knocked over a glass bowl that I had set on the chair. My mom heard it from the other room and had me come to her room to tell her what it was. She got angry at me, which I thought was fuckin stupid if it was an accident, but after some reflection while cleaning up the glass pieces, I kind of understood why. Mostly I got a little upset about 2 ceramic pieces I made during school breaking a little from the drop. One was a mushroom house from middle school that always makes me remember feeling like an asshole during peer review when I told my person to smooth their project more because I didn’t know “no improvement needed” was an option until I got back to my desk and saw my person saying it was good in all categories because everyone thought my project was great for some reason. The other was a bunch of flowers on a circle. It was the last project we did before quarantine hit, I think. That one is in less tough shape, just a couple flowers knocked off and a chip on one of them. They can both be glued back together, I guess. Then my mom called me back into her room to listen to her talk about wanting to eat huge amounts of food, because she’s clinically depressed with BPD and PTSD and DID and several other acronyms and her favorite coping mechanism is food, but her doctor put her on a diet so she can get her knees replaced, but recently she’s been getting into a zone where she talks about wanting to eat entire cakes and pizzas and buckets of kfc and a gallon of queso or whatever the fuck and she goes “doesn’t that sound GOOD?” And I have to laugh along and say “haha no that sounds bad actually” and get her a piece of ham or something. And every time she goes on her spiel the only thing I can think of is the greedy from the raggedy Ann and Andy musical. It’s just this horrible undulating orange blob that eats everything in sight and seeing it for the first time just made me think of mom and it made me very uncomfortable, with all the orange goo and hurling noises. Also reminds me of this horrible video game boss fight where it’s the apocalypse and a fat lady on a scooter took over the buffet and eats so much during her boss fight, during the defeat cutscene she projectile vomits everywhere and dies. My brother Greg showed me that thinking it was funny. I hated it, and I still do. He showed me a lot of things he thought were funny as a shitty little kid, and I remember several of them being very upsetting. It’s ok. I don’t want to dwell on it. But after cleaning the glass and talking to mom I brought my fabric to my room and called it a night. Oh wait my dad also helped me with some paperwork my coworker handed me so I could get on the payroll.

Today I woke up differently than I have in a long time. I set an alarm for 10 am so I could be at work by 11, but I woke up at 9 from a heavy sleep with dreams about hanging out with my friend in my room, worrying about my dirty house. I wanted to sleep longer, so I got up at 10 to have breakfast and get ready. I spent my shift changing the price tags all around the store, making everything more expensive. I’m gonna work again on Tuesday where I’ll learn how to use the register. I hope I don’t fuk it up, but I have a couple days to relax until then. Maybe I’ll work on my dress. My friends all want to go to prom together, so my new deadline will be March 2nd or a little before. I still need to buy a ticket, but I don’t have access to the link to buy one :( bleh I’m too tired right now to worry about this shit. I only worked 4 hours again today, but after I got home I felt like I could have worked longer if they gave me something else to do. The only price tags left to change were a bunch of grills and stuff I don’t know about but I don’t know if they had any other work for my to do. But I’m glad I went home tho because I was hungry and my feet hurt from standing lol. I did laundry and made myself dinner and washed my hair and drew a little bit and made the table and tbh the pacing of today has been so weird I don’t remember everything. It’s only 1am but I think I’m just gonna go to bed. my friends started talking about going to prom, and I really want to join them, but I can't figure out where/how to buy a ticket. my brain started being really mean to me, syaing that I was being annoying and pushy and that they didnt want me at prom for some reason, so I low-key almost made myself cry until my friend offered to let me be their platonic date since their partner couldn't go. 

last night I had a dream about a hard video game where when you played it, the black shadow enemies would fight you in real life, and one of them left imprints on my arm in the shape of lego bricks. they could only attack you so long as you played the game, and they tried to capture people and you were supposed to save them. I decided it was my time to play, and I walked into my garage that had turned into a cave with bat-people fused into the wall. I paid them no mind as I rescued a girl who was my irl brother, grabbing her hand and pulling her into another versoin of my garage which was uncorrupted and normal looking. she thanked me, and I said it was no problem. then I tricked her, telling her not to trust so easily, as I became one of the shadow enemies and engulfed her in a black sack, trapping her and leaving the room. I came back a couple minutes later, letting him free (now my brain told me he was my brother) telling him I just wanted to know if I was capable of tricking him, and didnt actually want to kill him or whatever.  another big chunk of my dream was taken up by me, my sister, and my dad visiting a run down petting zoo/gamestop. the petting zoo barn was very dark with low ceilings with lots of rabbits and pigs and hay. one of us accidentally killed either a pig or a tiger right next to the exit door, and I had to slink around the gamester trying to distract the owner and keep him from going in the barn and escaping at the same time. I dont remember how it ended, other than me waking up with a sore throat from breathing so deeply through my nose. I had slept on my stomach wit my pillow in my face so I could hardly breathe, and even after I woke up I felt like I wasnt getting enough air. I HATE that feeling, I always felt like I was suffocating in middle school for some reason. I thinkk somethings wrong with my airway but im not gonna do anything about it. im gonna continue to spend 80% of my day laying down so my resting heart rate and breathing speed is slower than an goddamn sloth. whatever.

right now as im laying in bed typing this I feel utterly unpoductive but I KNOW I did SOME shit today. but yeah mostly I relaxed. I worked on my dress, removing and replacing the blue front panel. I lost my exacto knife somewhere so I went to dollar tree to get a knockoff, along with snacks for mom and my sister. the blades aren't as sharp as exacto, but I still know where the name brands blades are so maybe Ill try and see if they're compatible. when I open the package everything was oily and gross, so I washed everything off with soap and water before I used them to cut the threads of the panel seams. I could have used my seam ripper but I wanted to get a replacement craft knife anyway. its kinda neat that it came with 6 different shaped blades for different crafts :) but uhh I also cut out the other half of the circle skirt of the dress, and I have a bunch of extra fabric left over. probably enough to make a whole other bodess if I wanted too. I used my sewing machine to attach the new front panel, and I was hoping to get more sewing done tonight, but when I asked my sister if it was ok for me to use my sewing machine (it right next to the wall between our rooms so she can hear it from there) she said she was going to bed soon so I just attatched the front panel and called it a night. so that kinda sucked. I still have another day tomorrow before I have to work again, and I can still work on my dress on Tuesday after work. idk why my brain thinks that one 4 hour shift is gonna take up my entire day lmao. I just have to get the whole thing done by may 2nd. GOD that reminds me, im gonna be so busy next month. I have six events back to back happening like every other day, plus work. oof. I'll have to let my boss know, but idk If that's gonna make him mad. I've already got pretty comfortable with the lady in charge of the garden center who’s taken lead position while the manager is on vacation, but I dont think I;ll every understand my boss. he’s a sarcastic busy old man and NOT AT ALL approachable. whatever. really the only other tings I did today were drink a shit ton of water play harvest moon, spend too much time on tiktok, and sraw a couple dum things for my friends’ princess au. I fucking HATE the drawing I did for Anna, so I designed her a secondary outfit more inspired by sky pirate bohemian vibes, since she rules over the floating islands. idk if I'll replace her old outfit with the new one in the lineup or just re-draw her old one with better shapes and composition and match the style better or what. I just need it changed eventually becasuse it looks like ass. tbh now that ve taken a little bit of time away from the princess au, there are a couple designs im not 100% satisfied with. but I know that if I go back and make them more detailed or whatever the’ll be more of a hassle to draw and aslkdfhalksdf I dont know anymore. I'm still tied up about color pallets and trying to give everyone a distinct color, and im a little upset it doesn't quite work, and FUCK dude the edgy one’s lore and character are weird and I kind of want to revise it to make it a little nicer but its not my character and I need to stop shoving my dirty little mitts into everyone’s ocs and AHAGHRGHGARGHHG idk man. her power is necromancy and she has a skeleton army, which I think I kinda cool, but I also think it would be neat if her powers extended beyond just that to communing with the dead, helping them find rest, and THEN maybe it can branch into helping fallen soldiers fight again to help them with unfinished buisness. and then if she goes feral and starts abusing her powers, she ignores all the communication and concent with the dead and instead magically rips them from thr ground to do her bidding and they’re uncontrollable and violent and aimless, just like her mind slipping from the magical blight infecting her. idk man we’re till working on a lot of lore. her concept could be SO COOL with just that little bit of extra thought, but so far it’s just MY POWER IS DEATH IM SO EDGY. ugh I know its fuckin rude to bash your friends oc ideas and I might be too overbearing and controlling of this au but dammit im tired and im mean sometimes and my ego is through the goddamn roof and im so sexy and im always right and my meat is huge. ah shit I rpomised my friend I would help her with character design for the dead king but I was busy when she firat asked me and now im not busy but im not doing it ugh. im just frustrated right now because I spent wayyyy to fuckin long just laying in bed watching tikotks and youtube and playing harvest moon an doing jack shit all day. but hey at least I attempted to get a new social security card again today. and them promptly gave up when they said my adress was invalid. again. I feel like im in an uncomfortable medium between having no plans and worrying about the future and having too many plans all the time oh my god. ive been so focused on getting a job and then having a job and making this dress I completely forgot about college shit. thankfully there's no hard deadlines coming up that I haven't already finished. whatever I dont really want to worry about all this hit right now, im just gonna take it one day at a time. (haha it feels like my angel oc just stepped in. how nice of him :) )