#but i can't stop doing the thing in the first place no matter how hrd i try because those behaviours are literally hardwired into my brain
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#feel like such a freak idiot all the time & i never react in the right way and then i hate myself afterwards for reacting wrong and#i'm so scared of like making every situation about my autism that even when i bring it up as a possible explanation for something i've done#i feel like a burden and like i'm making excuses and expecting everyone around me to accommodate my stupid behaviour#but i can't stop doing the thing in the first place no matter how hrd i try because those behaviours are literally hardwired into my brain#don't know how to not do them & i feel like i'm killing myself trying to be normal so hard. i just wish i was like not such a weirdo freak#who could cope with literally anything god i'm so fucking tired and sad about everything it's too hard
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