something something about the way scary pushes everyone away because she is shielding herself makes me want to cry. the way she appears to be confident when talking about herself at the beginning of s2 and how self deprecating she seems to be now. "to be so angry at something but nobody to aim it at except for dumb old me, right?" because that's what she does to herself everyday. she can't care for people because it's heartbreaking when they eventually leave, so she says mean shit to them in the hopes she can drive them away because! that hurts less! if she can control the way they leave it will hurt less right?

the way she is fighting herself to not like terry and care for him because, how dare he waltz into her life and shower her with unconditional love and praise? love is not unconditional, if it was, her father would have never left. she needs to be worthy of it, just like willy told her, right? then everybody will stick with her, because she will finally be whole. the broken piece inside her that made her father not love her enough will be whole. she will never be left alone again and she will be able to care once again because nobody will leave.