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twstwinnie · 1 year

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♚ With You ~ Lilia Vanrouge

summary: in a relationship with Lilia! usual three categories: pining, confession, and dating! while this should be a given, I’ll say it explicitly here: the reader is an adult in this given Lilia’s age <3 whether they’re a third year like Leona, or the prefect, is up to you as the reader!

tags: hurt/comfort, fluff, mutual pining, gn! reader

a/n: OK SO. this was a request from the comments (I do read those!) also, i was inspired to write for Lilia because I have a friend who really loves him, and i too love the bat boy! so, consider this a sort of love letter to Lilia as a character! For requests, Sebek is likely next, though feel free to lmk what y’all wanna see in asks/comments! enjoy!! special thanks to my beloved Lilia lovers for giving me inspo xx — winnie ♥︎

♚ starry - eyed !

» Unlike many other students at NRC, Lilia is one of few who’s fully aware of how he feels about you. He’s been alive long enough to recognize the signs— a quickened heartbeat, his eyes lingering on you for a few moments too long, even the way he seeks out your company in his free time.

» While, yes, he’s aware of his feelings, he’s stopped dead in his tracks by fear. It’s such a silly thing to him, really, but he can’t help it. He finds himself afraid that his lifespan might scare you off. Sure, he’s probably not got very long left, but in comparison to your human lifespan— it’s still quite a bit longer. Would you be alright with that? Or would his practical immortality be a dealbreaker?

» He knows that you accept him despite your difference in species, but would that translate if he was romantically interested? He hasn’t a clue, and so he’s bitten his tongue about how he truly feels— hiding behind a mask of teasing and jokes for the time being.

» Yes, teasing. No amount of reservations towards confessing could ever stop Lilia from teasing you. If anything, it only causes his teasing to increase, eventually evolving into something a bit more flirtatious.

» When you’re engrossed in any type of study at the library, he’ll appear in front of you, floating upside down with a wide grin on his face. When you jump back, startled, he merely laughs and comments on how cute you look when you’re focused.

» Sometimes, when you’re walking to class or back to your dorm, he’ll jump out and hug you from behind, near-tackling you to the ground. And though you’re always startled, you always know it’s Lilia hugging you. You’ll just let out a laugh, turn around, and hug him right back. The first time it happened, Lilia couldn’t help his shocked expression, easily melting into your warmth. Now, it’s exactly what he wants and expects when he does this. After all, hearing your laughter and gentle tone as you return his hug is always worth it to him.

» Despite all of this, though, he can’t find it in him to confess— convinced that you two are better off as friends. Who knows what the future holds? Human lives are already so delicate— would it truly be worth it for what’ll feel like a flash of happiness?

» This point comes up when he’s playing online games with Idia. Honestly, he doesn’t quite expect the conversation to take such a turn, but it does.

» “Red, you’ve been a lot less active lately. Kind of an L… but I guess it’s to be expected since you’ve got that partner of yours. Meh. At least you seem happier,” Idia comments. Lilia audibly hums, hands pausing on his keyboard.

» “Ah, you’re mistaken, Shroud. They aren’t my partner— just a friend! Much like you!” Lilia chimes. Idia lets out a quiet, disgruntled sound on the other end.

» “Uh, yeah, pass. We aren’t friends like that. I’m not blind, Lilia. Everyone sees how you look at them. If you were like that with me I’d be weirded out… but uh, why haven’t you told them anyway?” Idia idly questions, and Lilia sighs.

» “Well, us fae have prolonged lifespans. I can imagine that’d be a dealbreaker for most. I’m fine just being their cutest friend!” Lilia hums, but he can practically hear Idia’s eyes roll from the other end.

» “That’s a load of BS. Look, I’m not good at IRL romance, but from what I’ve seen in games, love interests get totally peeved when you try deciding things for them! The, uh… fae-immortality thing. Have you ever even talked to them about it?”

» That made Lilia pause. Well, he supposed he hadn’t really mentioned it to you… but he’d always assumed based on what he’d heard from so many others that you’d believe the same. Before he could respond, Idia continued.

» “And like, OP immortality stuff aside, that last line is a total lie. Are you really fine being stuck all friend-zoned? Can you handle someone else sweeping them away from you? And in the future, what if you aren’t even close? I doubt losing the route is better than, I dunno, trying?” Idia mumbles. Lilia takes a moment to process before letting out a bright laugh.

» “You should speak your mind like this more, Idia,” Lilia mentions.

» “In person? Uh, yeah, no way.”

» The conversation sticks with him, though. Idia is right. Lilia can never possibly know how you feel unless he confesses to you. Even if the future may be uncertain, the thought of losing you— of no longer having you by his side— wasn’t worth it. If confessing meant he’d have a chance to stay with you for the rest of your life, then he’d risk it.

» He’d never met anyone as kind, caring, and understanding as you. Not only did you listen to his many stories from his lifespan, you never doubted any of it for a second. You always give his cooking a try even though you know it’ll be less than edible, but you never judge him. You give him pointers, help him in the kitchen, and dutifully support him in his improvement. Sometimes, you’ll cook for him when he’s a bit too tired to give it another shot.

» You happily joke with him, tease him, compliment him, and spend time with him without a care for what his status used to be. When people warn you of “Diasomnia’s Powerful Vice Housewarden,” you look the other way. You don’t see his titles, his power— you just see him. You adore him not because he could crush you in an instant, but because you’ve become friends with the playful fae that he is.

» In his entire life, he’s met very few people as kind as you. However, you’ve been the one of the only ones to see and embrace all sides of him. Whether he’s fighting for his loved ones, or on stage with the rest of the Light Music club— you accept him.

» In the past, he’s made the mistake of letting go of the ones he loves. Because he thinks it’s better for them— because he feels that he’s dangerous or a dealbreaker. This time, he’s determined to do things differently.

» He wants it to be your choice. You’ve respected him and his choices, so he owes you the same treatment. This time, it’ll be different.

» He’ll confess to you properly and hear your answer. He just hopes it’s the one he also wants to hear.

♚ say the words !

» Lilia hasn’t properly confessed to someone in ages. He isn’t above asking for help should he need it, but it’s more of a matter of who to ask. Surely not his fellow Diasomnia members— they didn’t have as much romantic experience. Idia’s knowledge extends only to virtual games, so eventually, he settles on asking his clubmates.

» When he presents his issue, he’s surprised to find Cater gaping at him, Kalim equally as shocked. Just as Idia had, they assumed that you were already dating him. (Just how many people thought this?)

» After their shock subsided, Cater was more than happy to assist, along with Kalim. Lilia’s courting knowledge was vast, but much of it was outdated. He didn’t want to scare you off, so he wanted to learn some of the more modern methods of courtship.

» Though, both of the suggestions he received fell flat. Cater suggested a very Magicam worthy date, while Kalim suggested a carpet ride of sorts. They both offered to assist with their respective ideas, but Lilia couldn’t accept. None of it felt right. While he was sure both ideas would impress you, it didn’t feel authentic.

» As much as Lilia loved to tease, he wanted this confession to be serious— to be personal. He didn’t want to pretend to be someone he wasn’t. Eventually, he asked Silver for help. Surely, he’d have some insight considering how well he knew Lilia.

» “Have you considered just using one of the methods you already know, father?” Silver asks with a tilt of his head.

» “I’m afraid all of my methods are rather outdated for this day and age, Silver,” Lilia muses. Silver responds with a small sigh and shakes his head.

» “So? They know who you are already, right? Even if the method’s a little outdated, it’ll be true to yourself. They’ve gotten to know you, so I doubt they’d expect something modern anyway,” Silver finishes. Lilia’s eyes widened and he smiled. Of course, how could he forget?

» You already knew of his vast experiences across countless years. Perhaps, trying to adapt to a modernity he was unfamiliar with simply wasn’t right. He’d confess to you in a way that felt true to him. He was certain you’d understand.

» Eventually, Lilia settled on something true to his Briar Valley roots. Rather traditional, but it was still romantic to him. He’d enchant a briar rose, wrap it in the twine from a spinning wheel, and seal it in a glass case. Then, when the moon was high in the sky, he’d present it to you. Should you return his feelings, the rose would live on. If not, it would wilt away.

» The story such a tradition originated from resonated with him. Someone beautiful and bright falling for someone considered a monstrous outcast. It was quite touching. He wasted no time in gathering his materials, going as far as to travel back home for a moment to find the most beautiful rose for the confession.

» Once finished, he enchanted the rose, imbuing it with his magic— his wish to be with you for the rest of your eternity. Then, the briar rose was tied with twine and sealed away into the glass case. With a smile on his face, he waited as night fell, then sought you out.

» Luckily, your light was on, though dim through your window. Tapping lightly on the glass, he tested to see if you were awake. The sudden noise startled you, but you knew only one person who could possibly visit you this late at night. And enter through your window, no less!

» “Lilia? It’s late, why are you here?” you question in a hush tone, moving to the side to allow him entry into your room. He slips in, grinning as he presents you the rose.

» “As is Briar Valley tradition, I can only present this to you at night. I hope you don’t mind the intrusion,” Lilia says, watching your expression carefully. Your eyes widen as you take the encased rose, observing it closely.

» “It’s beautiful. What’s the occasion? Did something happen?” you ask with a light laugh as you scan the flower. Before he can answer, your eyes widen as you seemingly put the pieces together.

» “Wait… you’ve mentioned this. This is a Briar Rose, right? The string wrapped around it… the glass… Briar Valley tradition— ah! Are you…?” your voice trails off as your face flushes. Lilia merely grins, eyes glinting with mischief.

» “Am I what, dearest?” he questions with a teasing tone. You shake your head and laugh, covering your face a bit.

» “Is this… a confession?” you whisper. Lilia’s eyes soften and he approaches you, placing his hands over yours as he peered into the glass at the rose.

» “How observant. You really do listen to me! This is a confession. I’m terribly in love with you. You’ve invaded my every thought before I could think to stop you! So I’ve decided to tell you. I know my nature can be a bit… alarming, but I wanted to tell you anyway. Silly, isn’t it?” Lilia says softly.

» “It isn’t silly, Lilia. And of course it’s mutual. For as omnipotent as you tend to be at times, you’re a little clueless, aren’t you?” you respond with a warm laugh. Lilia looks at you and tilts his head.

» “What do you mean?” he asks.

» “I’ve liked you for a long time now. Have you ever noticed my advances? I don’t treat you like I treat my other friends, y’know! Plus, the whole immortality thing doesn’t scare me… no part of you ever could,” you say. Lilia processes for a moment before beaming with a sharp grin.

» “Oh really? You’ll be stuck with me for quite some time? Are you truly ready to have such a cute, wonderful partner for the rest of your life?” he teases. You merely smile, placing the rose to the side. Pulling him into a tight hug, you gently nod.

» “I’ve been ready for quite some time now. I’m more than happy to call you mine.”

» Lilia melts into your embrace and lets out a breath he wasn’t aware he was holding in. All of his memories of you come flooding into his mind. He’d been too afraid of judgment to notice at the time, but now he could see it— the way you reserved your brightest smiles for him. The way you’d gently lean into his side when sitting together— even the way you’d watch after Silver on his behalf.

» You’d loved him for quite some time, and now he could finally say that you were his. He’d have you by his side— and he could look towards the future with no regrets, knowing you’d be there.

♚ at last, with you !

» After you two officially start dating, Lilia acts more or less the same, however, in addition to his usual teasing, he becomes a lot more comfortable being openly affectionate with you.

» Are you walking beside him? His hand is intertwined with yours, then. Just sat down with your friends for lunch? Expect him to hug you from behind and kiss your temple as a greeting. Are you having a study session? Well Lilia’s there, leaned against your side and resting against you as you work. Lilia loves affection, so he gives you plenty of it.

» While he usually initiates any affection, if you ever initiate it first, it makes him incredibly happy. If you reach for his hand first, or greet him with a kiss, he always gets a wide grin and teases you about it. He’ll joke that you actually do love him, and that you must be head over heels for him to initiate such sweet affection. Once he manages to get your face to flush under his relentless teasing, he’ll let up and ask you to do whatever affection you initiated again.

» With how touchy he is, it’s only natural that people find out that you two are actually dating now. Because of your increased presence in Diasomnia, Silver, Malleus, and Sebek are quick to find out.

» Silver and Malleus are entirely supportive. Silver can visibly see how happy you make his father. Lilia spends less time alone nowadays, so Silver doesn’t have to worry about him as much anymore. He knows you’re a great match for Lilia given how much you care for him. Plus, your cooking is easily much better than his dad’s, but hey! Your presence has also made Lilia’s food more tolerable, so Silver’s content.

» Malleus is glad that Lilia’s found someone who respects him, but also accepts his more peculiar aspects. It’s something Malleus often struggled with himself, typically only having Lilia to turn to. In you, Lilia has found a partner, but Malleus has also found a cherished friend. You respect him, invite him out, and listen to him just as you do with Lilia. With such a kind soul, it’s only natural Lilia was drawn to you. So long as you two take care of one another, Malleus is certain that it’s a bond that’ll last a long time.

» Sebek is a different story. He’s at war with his internalized hatred against humans. He wants to respect Lilia’s choice, but he struggles to understand why at first. So, at the beginning he’s weary— closely watching your every move. Instead of finding flaws, he comes to realize why Lilia chose you. You don’t use him for his power, you engage with him and his hobbies, and you even watch after Malleus and Silver. With time, Sebek warms up to you. Of course he does! Perhaps, not all humans are bad. You’ve certainly proved that to him.

» His dormmates’— well, family’s approval is all that Lilia needs to know he’s made the best decision possible for himself. You fit right into his small family, as if you were always meant to be there. You fit right into his life, actually.

» You’re always in the crowd during his Light Music club performances. During the Magift tournaments, you’re in the crowd, cheering his name. Even when he finds himself busy with schoolwork, you’re there— sitting across from him as you work on your own assignments. He’s become so used to your presence in his daily life, but he does love dates with you, as well.

» Designated time to spend with one another. Naturally, he very much enjoys spending time alone with you. More often than not, you two have date nights in. Playing games, watching movies, staying up— it’s all a bit juvenile, but Lilia’s proud of his childish side. Plus, as long as you’re having fun, then it’s worth it.

» He loves those nights so much. Laying side by side after the movies are over, curled up together and having hushed conversation. It’s his favorite. You’ll share your dreams— your aspirations in the dark of the night. Lilia shares his experiences, the things he’s seen that he can’t wait to show you. It helps him visualize the vast future you both have ahead of you— the experiences he has yet to have. It makes him excited, but as much as he wants to see it, he’s content with time passing slowly by your side. As long as he’s with you, he’s happy.

» However, for as much as you two play around, for as much as you both cause chaos together— it isn’t all bright and sunny. Lilia is prone to painful nightmares— memories of his past dredging up and meshing with his recent memories. He’ll dream of losing Silver, Sebek, Malleus— even you— to a war much like the one he’d experienced. During those nights, he’s lucky if he gets even a single hour of sleep.

» You always seem to notice, though. In the morning, you’ll see his tired expression. No matter how much he tries to cover it with a grin, you see right through him. You never judge him or pity him, though. You merely guide him back to his room— school forgotten in favor of a day of healing. You’ll lay him down, remaining by his side as you run your fingers through his hair.

» “I’m here, and you aren’t gonna lose me. We’ve still got a lifetime ahead of us. You can rest. I’ll be here by your side when you wake up.”

» Your soothing words always put a smile on his face. He’ll hold you a little tighter as he drifts back to sleep, knowing that you’ll be there to comfort him should his nightmares wake him up again. On the days that his terrors do startle him awake again, you’re right there— gently rubbing circles into his back as he tells you what he saw. No matter how horrifying the nightmare, your smile remains as you comfort him— assure him that it won’t happen. Lilia will not lose you.

» You’ll always lighten the mood after, teasing him and insisting that he cannot be rid of you that easily. It always puts a smile on Lilia’s face, causing him to quirk a brow and question as to whatever could’ve possessed you to think that’d he’d want you gone?

» After some shared laughter as well as a few playful fights, Lilia manages to relax, night terrors long forgotten in favor of your warmth and comfort.

» Your comfort is so important to him. Of course, he loves being reassured that you won’t go anywhere, but it goes deeper than that.

» At NRC, Lilia is regarded as a terrifying fae with extensive abilities. Though he frequently jokes about his age, there are very few who actually believe him. Most think he’s merely joking— thus his struggles often go unnoticed. After all, someone that powerful couldn’t possibly be affected by loss after experiencing so much of it, or, he must be lying! He looks far too young to have been in any sort of war!

» As much as he tends to laugh it off, it gets to him. He’s forced to hold back— unable to express that emotional side of him. All people see is the conniving, teasing third year. If he ever expressed his painful experiences from his past, he’d likely be called a liar. In truth, he isn’t. And loss doesn’t hurt any less just because he’s strong. The sting of loss hurts just as much the first time as it does countless times after.

» And you understand that. You believe him. With a gentle smile and soft affection, you show him that while his experiences have made him stronger, it doesn’t mean he has to be immune to pain or fear. You show him that he doesn’t need to always hide away behind a facade of playfulness around you. You’re always there to listen, should he need the space to talk.

» For that, Lilia is grateful. You’re willing to share his best and worst moments, and you do so without pitying him or doubting him. You love him dearly. Teasing, serious, even a little scary— all are sides of him that you adore.

» For Lilia, that’s important. Because he knows he has a limited amount of time left, and that your time is limited, as well. For you to be so willing to dedicate that time to him— it’s quite beautiful.

» And with whatever time Lilia has left, he plans to do just the same.

» For you are the very embodiment of the future he hopes to live. And so long as that briar rose he confessed with remains bloomed, he knows that you feel the exact same.

— fin.

#twisted wonderland fanfiction #twisted wonderland x reader #twst fanfic #twst x reader #twisted wonderland fanfic #twst #twst lilia #twst lilia x reader #lilia vanrouge #lilia vanrouge x reader #twst headcanons #winnie-writes #winnie-wishes

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narrativelysignificantturtleduck · 6 months

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ok i know the sex ed post was ages ago but I saw it in your most liked tab and it got me thinking, particularly with zukka, that even though they had sex ed they wouldn't have had gay sex ed. zuko grew up with sailors + the royal family in homophobic fire nation, and sokka got probably taught by gran gran about having babies. so all i can think is that if they decided to take that step when older, they are gonna have no clue what to do. queue sokka very very awkwardly shuffling up to bato who he knows is in a relationship with his dad and saying can I ask a question. promise not to laugh at me. except bato is less amused and more mildly horrified that sokka has chosen him to answer these questions

oh my god yeah. like, i'm not sure gran-gran's sex ed would've been heteronormative - depends on what you think the southern water tribe's attitudes are - but there's a very strong possibility that sokka, as a sexist teenage boy who thought he was straight, may have been like GRAN-GRAN EWWW STOP LALALA I'M NOT LISTENING

like the convo went: here's how babies happen -> sometimes grown-ups do this without the intent to make babies -> people can also do it with people of the same physical sex -> sokka running away screaming

he now regrets that.

for zuko, i think he might have. um. hands-on experience. y'know. on the ferry. with jet. does that prepare him for being in an actual relationship? probably not.

i'm not sure either of them would want to ask for guidance tbh. both of them canonically have experience with women (azula saying "mai seems to be in a good mood lately" had an undertone to it, sokka and suki in "the southern raiders") and zuko has some experience with men, so they'd probably just assume it's fine. figure it out as they go. it can't be that hard, right?

that said the image of sokka asking bato for advice on having gay sex is SO funny. bato knew he was signing up to be a dad when he started dating hakoda but he didn't think he'd have to give The Talk. also he has to be really careful about what examples he uses since his current gay sex partner is sokka's dad. (i imagine bato had some other relationships, but they all ended bc they realized he'd never value them above hakoda.) also sokka is asking specifically because he wants to have sex with the fire lord and like bato knew they were dating but he's never gonna get over how weird his life is now. "my stepson is asking me advice on gay sex so he can fuck the fire lord". truly wild.

meanwhile zuko has started spending time at piandao's bc he needs a father figure since iroh fucked off to ba sing se (plus piandao knows fire nation politics & can help him navigate being the fire lord) so he walks in one day and is like "yeah i have a question. not about politics but uhh. personal stuff" and piandao's like "oh what is it" and zuko tells him and piandao is like "i'm so honored you're asking me" and goes to his library and finds him a guide to gay sex that got banned in the fire nation but piandao managed to find a copy (he has a lot of illegal gay lit) and hands it to him like. go have fun kiddo. i'm rooting for you guys.

the other possibility is that suki (who is still dating sokka, they have an open relationship) finds out they want to have sex and knowing the state of their sex ed decides that they need a Lesson. it's a very good lesson because kyoshi island has very good queer positive sex ed but sokka has some interesting feelings about his girlfriend teaching him how to have sex with his boyfriend. not bad feelings. just interesting

ANYWAYS this is a fun topic and thank you for the mental image of sokka asking bato about gay sex

#ask #nina's personal log #sokka #zukka

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rhenuvee · 1 year

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Genshin Men: How They Greet You In The Morning [Liyue + Childe]

Summary: What our lovely Genshin boys do when they wake up (and you’re still asleep, or just beginning to wake up)

Genre: fluff | x reader (established relationship)

≿————-　❈　————-≾

Xiao: It feels a little weird to him, sleeping beside someone else as a mystical being like himself doesn’t really need sleep. He wakes up first, making sure no monsters get into your vicinity while you’re still peacefully sleeping. Mortals, he probably thinks to himself- yet he doesn’t realize his fingers creeping up to touch your own fingers. He blushes, and then you stir awake and greet him with a smile and good morning. He’ll mutter back a good morning- flicks your forehead if you ask to keep sleeping but will stay with you nonetheless. (Idk if you can tell, I can write on and on about Xiao)

Childe: (Okay, genuine question- where the fuck does he sleep canonically? Like right now? Ahem- anyway...) Though he has duties he has to attend to, he’s definitely willing to spare some time to be with you in the early mornings. Quite playful actually: booping your nose, running his pinky through your eyelashes, you get it. You definitely wake up annoyed so be my guest- flick his forehead back because he deserves it. Sometimes he his heart aches because he most likely rarely has the time to indulge in these moments. He can't remember a time when he was doing Fatui things and had a good quality sleep, until you of course. Overall playful morning with him is enough for him to get out of bed.

Zhongli: Would preferably wait for you to wake up- unfortunately he does have things to attend to (though he can't shake off this weird feeling that's pulling him in to stay longer). Nonetheless, he always checks to ask you if you slept well, or not- either way, he's more than willing to listen. Something tells me he might help you a little, meaning He likes to plan his day, so he'll ask you or before in advance what you're doing today, and he'll probably ask to meet somewhere later.

Xingqiu: He's wakes up- yup you guessed it- reading. Already did his morning routine and everything only to find his nose buried inside a book first thing. Always says good morning with a kiss to your hand. However, he does like to pull your leg sometimes by dragging things and purposely causing a disturbance to your own morning routine. Also may lightly trace the outline of your features, but more as a teasing way to wake you up. He finds it cute when you whine and plead for him to stop. But it always ends with the two of you heading out together. <3

Chongyun: Admires you if you're still asleep, and doesn’t even know he’s doing it. I imagine he probably has early training too? As much as he is self-disciplined very well, I feel like he’d also be a little hesitant on leaving you. He is dedicated to exorcism, but he makes sure to create time with you sometime later in the day. Omg wouldn't it be so cool if instead of leaving a note he'd leave a specialty that symbolizes where he is? Ex: leaving Qingxin if he's in the cliffs?? Yeah he'll do that, your own little coded message. If you're already awake then he'll just tell you.

#genshin #genshin impact #genshin impact imagines #genshin xiao #xiao #xiao x reader #childe #childe x reader #genshin childe #tartaglia #zhongli #zhongli x reader #genshin zhongli #xingqiu #genshin xingqiu #xingqiu x reader #chongyun #genshin chongyun #chongyun x reader

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smellslikebeefinhere · 8 months

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klance oneshot, teen and up audiences

prompt: i could never hate you

Honestly, Lance hadn’t even been planning on stopping by the training room.

Really, he was only innocently making his way to the kitchens (with no intention of stealing Hunk’s dessert whatsoever…) and just… happened to hear a particularly pained groan coming from the door to the training room. Naturally, being a very caring and kind person by nature, Lance opened the door only to check, and just… ended up staying.

Completely normal. Nothing homosexual or weird going on at all.

Okay, who was he kidding, he was totally just here to ogle Keith.

But who could blame him! Sure, the paladin of the Red Lion could be pretty mopey, and broody, and Lance wasn’t even gonna start on the obvious anger issues. But in the training room, he almost seemed to let go, in a strange way.

It was like fighting came naturally to him. Like he was made for it. Keith brought his sword down on the drones like it was an art form, and Lance couldnt help but admire the fluidity and grace. The way his hair formed dark waves in the air, his movements almost like water. And yeah, he would admit, it was kind of creepy.

But his crush on the red paladin had been going on for a while, and while Lance had accepted it was never going to happen, it couldn’t hurt to indulge just a little, right?

(Boy, was he wrong.)

Lance was suddenly snapped out of waxing poetic about Keiths raven-dark hair when a loud voice echoed through the room.

«Training sequence over.»

Lance barely had time to think shit before Keith Kogane himself turned around and caught his eyes.

Lance could feel the blush creeping up his neck as the boy stared at him. He didn’t think he’d ever seen Keith look this caught off-guard (and that was saying something. Lance had seen him look completely unfazed after just having been shot at from what looked like a space-giraffe.)

The silence continued on for a short while, but for Lance it might as well have lasted a year. He couldnt’ imagine how dumb he must look, in his sweatpants and a blue shirt that was a little too tight around the shoulders, just standing in the doorway. Probably red as a tomato, too. Dios mio.

«Can i-« Keiths voice came out a little rough, so he cleared his throat. «can i help you? With anything?» The question seemed completely genuine, with no hint of sarcasm. Lance was still trying to come up with an excuse.

«Oh, pshh, no i was just on my way to art, and then i just heard- well, no, on my way to the kitchen, i mean you looked like art-« Keith was just staring at him, slack-faced. «Not like, like art in a pretty way, in a… totally horrible way, like a Picasso or something, ANYWAY-« Lance’s horribly failing explanation was interrupted by the softest question he had ever heard uttered from Keiths mouth, so quiet he wasn’t even sure he heard it.

«You were watching me?»

The question sounded so unsure Lance couldnt help but soften a bit himself.

«Yeah.»

Oh, wow, the floor here was really interesting. Lance had never noticed the way it was made up of hexagons before.

«Yeah, I was.»

Now it was Keith’s time to flush. And Lance was not prepared for the red tinge dusting across his cheekbones and painting the tips of his ears. Art.

«I’m, uh, I’m sorry if I made you uncomfortable or anything. It was just, I…» Lance could feel his own heart beating, and wow, was that normal? Maybe he should take a trip to the healing pods after dying of embarrassment later.

«It was just nice to see you doing something that wasnt yelling at me, for once.» The words came out with a laugh, but really Lance couldnt feel less happy. Because it really had been.

Sometimes it felt like the only thing they did was fight. And it was fun, sure, but Lance wanted… other stuff, too.

He wanted Keith to laugh with him, the way he did with Hunk. Wanted to nerd over things like astrophysics or piloting together. Wanted to talk to him, really talk to him. Wanted to be able to look at Keith without feeling like he didn’t matter.

And suddenly there were tears pricking at his eyes. Mierde, how mortifying. Lance started walking out of the room trying to choke back that awful feeling in his throat.

«Sorry, I’m sorry, Keith, hahah,»

«Don’t say that.»

Lance stopped dead in his tracks.

«I- don’t say that.»

Keiths voice was quiet but decided. He sounded almost… angry. But not for the reasons he should be.

«Lance, i didn’t know you…» Keith looked at a loss for words. «I didnt realize you looked at me as anything other than your stupid rival, or whatever.» Keith looked almost bashful as he studies his shoes.

«I dont really hate you. I just… it seemed like you really hated me. And i was just playing along with it. So stupid…» Lance’s heart breaks a little, he thinks. How could he ever think- ever- that Lance had even the smallest bit of hate for this boy in his heart? Jealousy, sure. Irritation, hell yeah. But hate? If Keith only knew…

«I dont hate you, Keith. I could never hate you.»

Lance’s voice is softer than he intended it to be, and he winces at the implications of his words.

«No?» Keith breathes, and Lance feels it on his skin. When did they get so close? And when did Lances hand end up on Keiths shoulder?

«How could you even think that i- if you had any idea what i really-« Lances words fail him. If this boy thought even for a second that Lance hated him, he would just have to prove him wrong in the most foolproof way he knew how.

Keith gasped as their lips connected. His lips were warm, and lightly chapped, and it only lasted for a second, but it was easily the best kiss Lance had ever had. Because it was him.

It was Keith- arrogant, loyal, jealous, strong, scarred, brave, beautiful Keith. His Keith. Who he had just kissed.

Oh my god, Lance had just kissed Keith.

He immediately backed away, failing to notice the shocked blush on Keiths face. «Oh my- Dios mio, I am so sorry, lo siento rojo, I know you dont- I’m so sorry,»

Keiths hands fist in his sweater and Lance is sure he’s about to get sucker punched before-

«Will you stop saying that,» and Keith drags him down by his shirt and crushes their lips together.

It’s like fireworks. And theyre both inexperienced and the angle is slightly awkward, but Lance tilts his head just so and he sees stars. Keith kisses like he does everything else, white-hot and burning, and so full of passion its almost too much.

But not really. Never too much, as Lance’s hands find their way into that stupid mullet, as Keith gasps into his mouth and he presses his tongue to the seam of Lances mouth, and Lance is sure that if he opened his eyes right now everything would be on fire.

But unfortunately, humans do need oxygen to live, and Lance reluctantly breaks the kiss and lets his forehead fall to Keith’s.

«You don’t hate me,» Keith, red-lipped and pupils blown, almost whispers against his cheek.

«No,» Lance says as he look down at the boy he loves, «I really, really don’t.»

#klance #laith #oneshot #klancerenaissance #voltron #i loved this prompt #they mean so much to me #klance2023 #they are so dumb #writing #fanfiction #vld lance #vld #vld keith #vld fanfiction

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valeriefauxnom · 3 months

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Euden's Surprising Spread of Spidey Senses

So this is another of the 'things I noticed a while ago but am now properly committing to text so I don't forget everything'. Anyways, I found it funny the more I looked that Euden seemed to have a wing of general senses/ability to discern things/feelings or reactions that nobody else had, and sometimes he thought he was completely normal when they really weren't.

The earliest example I can think of offhand is chapter 13, wherein he feels drawn to the whatever ominous mana stuff that gives Ranzal the heeby jeebies.

Yes Euden I wonder why you're attracted to artificial mana that may be corrupted by black mana

As my friend joked in this scene, he's the one kid in a tv show that has to be stopped from licking whatever clearly bad object everyone else has the good sense to not touch (even if in this case, he'd be perfectly fine if the main reason it is 'dangerous' is because of black mana, being immune. Not that they knew that because since everyone hightails it as soon as it starts getting too thick so they have no idea he's not susceptible, but I digress).

Then, there's his ability as I jokingly refer to as the ability to sample and dissect dragon roars/behavior like fine wine:

Nothing like being able to tell if a dragon is hurting or sane as well as their mood based on their roars. And it's not exactly a set science or habit that can be learned with all the noises the very-varied-in-form Dragalia dragons make. I think he does this at least once or twice more, but I could be wrong.

Regardless, imagine Euden and Bahamut having a conversation where Bahamut does his standard Variations On A Roar performance and Euden's just like, 'hm, interesting. that does sound tasty'. And everyone is very confused how he got that from ROOOOAAAARR.

Then there's his sensitivities regarding other things, like his ability to tell when someone is about to shapeshift.

This is where he also tries to turn to his siblings to go, 'hey this is normal, right guys??' only to be flatly rejected.

Granted, they more suggest experience might be the cause of his talent here, but since it's ultimately speculation and up in the air and explicitly something everyone else finds weird I elected to include it. Regardless if it's natural or supernaturally developed, it's a sense nobody else has.

Even Nedrick realizes quickly that Euden's just Weird and hypersensitive to dragon-mana stuff and decided to formulate a plan around that and extend a bit of trust to his ability. Which, for Nedrick, Mr.Never Trust Anyone Ever To Do What I Need Done, is a testament to just how weird and valuable he finds the skill.

He later goes on to use his understanding of dragons and pacts to split up the power concentrated under Elysium back to their proper owners, the individual Greatwyrms.

Then, of course, is the built-in 'GPS return to sender' he has when it comes to Xenos' location and status. Quite handy he had that, or else we would immediately have gotten Dragalia 2: Electric Boogaloo wherein everyone collectively realizes Xenos isn't dead and has to assemble the gang again x years into the future. (Actually maybe it'd be better if he didn't so we could've gotten another Dragalia-)

Ahem. Anyways, this is getting long, so I'll cut it off there, but the fact that Euden was weird compared even to his family is just a thing that is passively baked into canon. And this isn't even counting his behavioral oddities that constantly leave others going ??? regarding him all the time, just his sensory ones!

And I like those little kinds of oddities very much.

Long story short regarding Euden:

Bonus round on editing:

Oh yeah, he also has a Find a Friend working ability that allowed him to track down and hear his friends across pocket dimensions. Even Mids, who has supernatural senses of his own in being able to derive 'true location', can't hear across worlds. Perhaps it's a good thing Euden didn't make too many otherwordly friends. Imagine constantly hearing friends speaking that aren't even in the same area or time of existence as you are (like Luca did that one time in the comics).

Also, it's a bit funny that even if it's a power innate to him he's still addressing it as if it's completely separate from him and asking 'it' nicely to open up portals. Nothing like Euden being unable to do something himself, but because he's asking 'himself' nicely suddenly finds the willpower to make manifest what he wants.

...Imagine if it applied to food. 'Please mysterious power my friends and I are starving, can we have some food?' and a luxury turkey dinner just pops in front of them, what he was secretly wanting and is like 'wow what a coincidence, exactly what sounded heavenly to me personally. Thanks mysterious power!'

#dragalia lost #dragalia #I know dragalia rapidly went on a crazy train trying to wrap everything up #and mystical senses provide a quick and easy way to provide direction to a group when dealing with matters 0.1 people understand fully #...but I gotta say #the unintentional slow building of Euden as just a Very Weird Person in regards to sensations and powers is funny to me.#Like it's not even the standard protagonist powers of 'I press win/you lose.' OP kind of things.#But the exact blend of 'ignorant to his own weirdness' and the powers themselves they added is just funny.#Dude's a walking friend locator/dragon empath combo. And isn't that the dream?

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aprillikesthings · 2 months

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The next episode itself is a two-parter, and I think that rather than split them up I will just watch through, which might mean I have to reblog this post multiple times.

Finishing out season four!

s4, eps 12&13 Destiny

Usual reminder: this is a REwatch and there’s spoilers ahoy, I make a lot of bad jokes (some of which are Adult In Nature), I reference other cartoons, I make random asides.

(also, this time specifically, I had some alcohol)

Tbh? it's a lot like watching things like this with me in person aaahahaha I always want to pause and infodump shit -_-

lol Emily is destroying Shadow Weaver's garden

Emily acts like Mal the cat does sometimes. WHAT IS IN YOUR MOUTH you are not supposed to have that! Get out of there!

UGGGH

it's easy to forget how BIG Scorpia is??

LOLOL oh my god I went downstairs for like an hour and a half talking to my partners about the most random shit and then playing with the cat and also: I've had most of a can of wine.

One of these:

YEAH (that's a huge image)

so if these get weird: blame the wine I guess

oh also @corpseauthority and I picked out fake fur and minky fabric for the ears and tail of my Catra cosplay :D :D :D I'M SO EXCITED

OKAY BACK TO SHE-RA

the only thing better than Scorpia's "huh?" is Shadow Weaver's flat "what"

Shadow Weaver: no we need the other princesses Glimmer: well they're gone but-- Scorpia, Shadow Weaver, and Emily: WAIT, WHAT???

AND THEN

okay but is the guard telling you this Double Trouble

ROLL INTRO

that thing was not meant to hold four humans and a horse with wings

why are you SNIFFING HIM

Entrapta: "I don't know you" Micah: "Yes, you do. You stole my food." Entrapta: "OH YEAH! It was delicious :D"

oh god Adora's like "....but are you okay? we came here to find you 🥺"

and she's like YEAH I'M GREAT

"each more deadly than the next??? it's PARADISE"

I love her so much oh my godddd

Bow: "We're here to rescue you" Entrapta: "didn't I just rescue YOU?"

Bow mentions Hordak and Entrapta pulls her little new bug-eye mask down :(

Adora: so hey we uhhhhhhhh really need your help due to a terrible secret of the First Ones that nobody but us knows

"WHy didn't you say so???"

well that's a callback to s1 ep1

THERE SHE IS!! MY BABY 😍 I LOVE HER SO MUCH

nooo

anyway Kyle, Rogelio, and Lonnie come in and Catra's like OH UHHH so...what's happening

Lonnie: "we just got back from conquering another Rebel town" Kyle: ":D You should've seen us!! It was all:"

and then he kicks Scorpia's old locker, with the drawings on it, and Catra gets mad

Ironically the degree to which Catra is UPSET is making me ship them harder lol

bb you need a break you are getting feral

Man Lonnie has her number lol. "What is wrong with you? We're winning! Even you should be happy."

god I love when she's this deranged

she slams poor Lonnie against a locker

john cena dot gif

but also OH DO THEY REMIND YOU OF WHO YOU USED TO BE? HMM? what you really wanted??? what actually gave you something like joy or contentment????? are you trying to just erase any part of you capable of feeling good?????????

Kyle is RIGHT

The cinematic parallels between Catra and Glimmer in this episode ("forget my friends I'M IN CHARGE HERE and YOU NEED TO FOLLOW ORDERS") are *chef's kiss*

Catra realizing this isn't what she actually wants: part ....a lot

STOP REMINDING ME I HAVE FEELINGS!!

The other three leave, she yanks the drawings off Scorpia's old locker, then THUMPs her head on it. And then Double Trouble shows up!

okay wait tho the way she pauses and then thumps her head on it is so funny I wish I could gif it, it's so cat-like and also Very Emo

I don't think this is supposed to be funny but it IS and I cannot stop rewinding and laughing. I blame the wine.

THONK

help i've rewatched it like five times now

okay

lol right??

Me, when I was info-dumping my own fic at myself: is it weird to imagine these two banging??? Me now: nope

Double Trouble: "Apologies for the delay, kitten. I got ...held up...in Bright Moon"

Anyway they give a little speech about how the Princesses keep fighting and She-Ra is away

NO SHIT, SHERLOCK

(now THERE's an old fandom reference ahahaha)

"We can't let them return to the Fright Zone!" TOO FUCKING LATE

YOU STOLE HER GARNET YOU WOULD THINK SO

Anyway they argue about the possibility of Glimmer taking Scorpia back to the Fright Zone

GOD I HATE IT WHEN SHE'S RIGHT UGGGHHHH

lolol I am. like. less than ten minutes into the FIRST OF TWO EPISODES and i've hit the image limit.

#april rewatches spop #destiny

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itsdappleagain · 10 months

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alrighty, to steal or not to steal! this one is a little hard to liveblog and I'm not going to go through all the options, so I'm just gonna take you through my favorite path and gush about how hot and gay everything is for the most part! there will be a little commentary on other paths but yeah :)

(thats the ile d'oleron)

notes under the cut as always!

for your viewing pleasure in case its been a while and you haven't played.

fun fact- I am also taking us on close to the first route I ever took with this special. I got waylaid along the way by the trick routes and failed a lot, but I'll get us on the path to the first win I ever got. (the best one.)

i was SHOCKED by how good this special was the first time I played through it. I had just joined the fandom, I was scrounging for content in the waiting-for-s3-desert, and boom- there was a SPECIAL? why didn't anyone tell me?

anyway, this is always super fun to do. I've done every single route multiple times and recorded all of them too for the illegal stash but theres nothing quite like playing it.

in the very first episode (and african ice) devineax mentions an amusement park in shanghai. wonder if the two are related, or if VILE just has a shit ton of properties in there?

she did, in fact, get shanghai'd in shanghai.

oh. thats why its set here. ahha i get it

she loves them 🥺

i choose top floor

carmen trusts her grappling hook in a glass building more than I trust myself

girlie walked into that empty steel door locked vault with an indiana jones trap ass looking phone in the middle that maelstrom was talking from and went to pick it up with ZERO hesitation

ah, carmen sandiego and its weird genre of toilet paper jokes during stressful circumstances

maelstrom's exasperated eyeroll and sigh as the married couple bicker

i choose steal for vile

the first time I played this i obviously chose to try to save zack and ivy. since I know that leads to failure now, I'm skipping it this playthrough, but it was quite the shock the first go around! tsonts plays to my little angst loving heart by making you watch zack and ivy and sometimes carmen meet horrible tragic ends again and again lmao

girlie the old you stole the statue of liberty skill issue

i like the glow of green on carm's face here to show her temporary allegiance change and vile's win

the terracotta warriors are super cool im glad we get to visit them

i think the first time i played this option i talked to tigress. since sneaking just gives bonus material and doesn't actually change anything (plus. puppies) im going that route!

i choose sneak past tigress

oh btw i love the little simplified characters in the choices they r so cute

also carmen's quips if you take too long to choose are hilarious and worth waiting for. dodge the cat or stop to chat?

subtitles doing the most

i LOVE how bitchy carmen gets in the special she's hilarious. she's very quietly pissed off the entire time and she mostly takes it out on tigress

those slides down the tunnel are sooo smooth

its impossible, as a canon law, to get zack and ivy's names right if you're a villain

i love the two's looks at each other when she steps on the booby trap its just resigned "ahhh shit."

imagine if there had been spikes at the bottom of the pit and carmen had just saved herself sdgjadsgjds

"im the one sitting in the catbird seat right now" oh you

anyway, i'm choosing leave tigress

this is the choice i made my first time playing! i love carmen's sassy ass "i cant hear you! im in a tunnel, bad connection!" line, and i'm not going the arctic circle path anyway so it doesn't matter.

tigress bugshadowing for s4! lots of foreshadowing for s4 in the special actually

the "theyre stunning" followed by that just. crushed look when she remembers what she's here to do augh

he has a beard and a mustache

she so cute

i choose hide and blend in

my first go around I chose to hitch a ride, as, I thought, was logical. I didn't know carmen had access to stopping time, a disguise, and endless amounts of dirt to camouflage her perfectly with the statues in addition to a handy spot to keep her change of clothes. who knew? im going with hide to speed up my run, but I was pissed off the first time i played this let me tell you sjgdhsgdhs

actually, you know what, let me hit ride for a second because I think there's a carmen death at the end of that one I want to comment on

carmen "historical artifacts are irreplaceable treasures" sandiego, everyone

why are vile's names for zack and ivy so shit

oh yeah here we go

the crash landing! I made a post on that years ago but my headcanon was that carmen was so distracted that she crashed and died I think lmfao. anyway no one came outta that one unscathed. k, back to the route!

OH i also like that the format for this is like the old gameshow a little bit with chief's lines at the end. its fun

they really wanted to call this thing "carmen sandiego: vile operative" didnt they. hamlet? was bela in on the naming of this?

cleo's little shoulder shimmies

abby trott's singing voice this episode <33333333

also THE OLD THEMEEEE this whole thing is just a throwback honestly its a lot of fun

carmens eyeroll at "carmens choice" jsadgha

to steal or not to steal: or, bellum and cleo being married old women for forty minutes

i choose cleo's caper

we just gotta get to the gay dance scene as quickly as possible okay

carmen asked for the specification on the eggs so seriously

cleo speaking french. thats it thats the post

some of the lines in this special are a little weird with repetition. carm does it once with the riding with/hiding among the statues in a way that sounds a little unnatural, and she does it again here with "everything i ever steal from vile goes straight to charity, and now they're making me steal from a charity?" the inflection/repetition is just weird, like the emphasis should have been on steal, not charity. idk maybe gina just reads weird

carmen SLAYS in this dress. i wish it was even more extravagent but i get they needed something simpler for the dance scene. still shes hot as fuuuck for the whole part

her leg split is scandalously high btw??

and JULIA GOOD GRACIOUS SHE'S SO GORGEOUS actually thank god for chase never showing his face in here he gets enough spotlight in the choose your own adventure novels

it took me an embarrassingly long time to realize that julia looks different because shes wearing contacts

her favorite acme agent

how did she find out julia's last name i wonder

noooo carmen dont avoid her ur so sexy ahahaha

carmen's voice. when she says scarlet santa rosa. hdhwidw oh boy. also hello, fake name for hospitals and hotels in every fic ever from this point out. we salute you.

player's "oh boy" he knows carmen's too gay for this shit

also good GOD yes we're dancing. only thing we're missing is carmen saying she likes to tango more than she likes to waltz so there we go. gay time

i choose to accept the dance

"do i cut a rug, or put the 'go' in sandiego?" these lines are GEMS

man this scene is spectacular

adoring how miserable carmen looks the entire time she's dancing with this rando. can she do it? yes. does she want to be? hell no

the guy: :D carmen: 🙁

SHES HOLDING HERSELF SO FAR AWAY FROM HIM ITS SO FUNNY

girl if you were any further apart from this dude you'd be in north america

carmen fantasy mind link with mime bomb where she kicks the man to the curb and engages in a techno dance fantasy where she lets her hair down and goes wild, imagining julia argent seeing her and cheering her on gayly is top ten scenes in all of animation history

carmen's hips in the dance have me in a chokehold figuratively and i wish it was literally

the little prance after carmen kicks herself in the face is so gay you're being so gay dude. she imagines julia watching her and she stares directly at her and PRANCES

love the imaginary dance partner guy. carmen's like hm i wish this guy was fun

also THRILLED that the only canon imagination we ever see carmen having is one. being paranoid about a crusty 20 year old shadowsan stalking her and 2. having a dissociative dance fantasy because dancing the waltz with monaco royalty is torturous to stay grounded for

when she takes her hair out like if you agree

THE LEG SLIT SHINES THROUGH HERE WE ARE INCHES AWAY FROM THE TVY7 GOING OUT THE WINDOW FASTER THAN CARMEN DOES LATER IN THE SCENE

that was fantastic as always, sorry you had to sit through me ranting gayly for that long. time for more gay ranting. ITS JULIA!

carmens little moment of panic when julia comes up behind her is always great

man theyre so gay. julia is confident and girl please bestie i love you but this is the ONE time you're wrong

my favorite frame. goldfish julia

the height difference

"so good to see you again" 😌

julia using they/them pronouns win writers did her dirty in the s3 opener

"I will CERTAINLY be relieved once any stolen treasures MYSTERIOUSLY appear at my doorstep to allow me to return them to the proper authorities" she says in the most seductive voice possible, turning and walking away with a look over her shoulder

shes literally flirting you guys

player said woah because even he knew that the usual writers never let julia have that much personality and gaydar

gay abt it. also obsessed with their little hooves

we never talk about how dirty tsonts does you. it leads you unequivocally to believe that tricking julia is the correct option to keep both carmen and her safe. it ALSO leads you to believe that carmen is just going to pull a "WHATS THAT OVER THERE" trick and leave. SHE DOES NOT. DO THAT. SHE LOCKS JULIA OUT ON THE ROOF, STEALS FROM HER, AND LIES TO HER. WHY

anyway first time i played this i tricked julia thinking i was keeping her safe and was so pissed off by the outcome that I went back and trusted her. we do miss a glorious angy jules moment of her screaming "la femme rogue" with ten times less punch than devineaux, though.

all that is to say i choose trust julia.

either way you slice it i managed to wind up in a pickle at a caviar party

MMGH THE TRUST <3

they say trust like three times in this conversation its so. the core of their relationship

YESSS SHE TRUSTS HER DUGHDUHGDJDHEDHJD SHAKING THEM IN MY TEETH

carms little smile mmmmmmmmmm

ah, the cs 3/4 turn

OKAY even though it'll lead to bad shit happening we cannot skip the stash part because 1. it gives us one of carmen's BEST outfits and 2. i have a funny story about it/this is what i picked the first time

also it again leads us to the wrong choice on purpose in my opinion, which i think tsonts is designed to do

shes my profile picture and shes so killer in the waitress outfit god im so gay about it

okay here's my funny story when mime bomb started choking i was COMPLETELY prepared to have an option to save him or continue to go after the caviar and i was also COMPLETELY prepared to let him die i felt really bad about it once I realized they obviously weren't going to let him choke

NOT ON STAGE, PLAYER, ON FOOD

mime bomb singing opera foreshadowing!! while hes choking to death

carmen could give me the heimlich maneuver

mime bomb hairline reveal

everyone just dissipates once they realize they were laughing at a person actively dying

THE SHE

who is also the me on tumblr

the waitstaff wondering why this piece of fish weighs five times what its supposed to and why this one weighs nothing at all 🤨

you uncouth ninny

i love the cut from zack and ivy trying to fight to them immediately getting brainwashed they didnt stand a chance

btw where does carmen keep just. changing. where is she going. did she mug a waiter for that outfit and leave them naked in a closet. what

anyway ultimately i choose dash

she so cute when she commit acts of violence on innocent people

elsa is that you

man i love that shot of her putting on the glider. where is everyone though. like did they just think she threw herself off the edge and were like ah well

i love getting to see clips of carmen actually pulling the cord on her glider also her WHOLE LEG IS OUT GOD DAMN

imagine if they had just prerecorded zack and ivy and they were way off the mark. and zack and ivy were just mindwiped already

its my favorite background extra!

also the carmen-in-milan extra who was in dubai was also in the earlier scene

they have one RIGHT IN THE CENTER OF THE TOP OF THE WORLD

i choose steal for vile again becauseeee we snubbed tigress so that would fuckin suck for us. i do really enjoy the trust tigress --> arctic circle route, though (i wasnt even aware there was more than one good ending for a really long time because i always left tigress in the hole lmfao) but shes actually decent. i also like when you leave tigress --> arctic circle because carmen just kicks a solid metal foot thick door. and it hurts. like she didnt think about that one

hell???? in a kids show??? 😲

i like how you can see that carmen appreciates how incredible it is that theres soft tissue intact

another weird inflection thing? she says "attempt to clone-" like shes about to put emphasis on the dinosaur part after, when i feel like she would put emphasis on clone? idk whatever

gremlin bellum is the best

editing carmen sandiego clips to be way out of context is my passion. ugh. im going to hell

montana got such a sad info section honestly

carmen slaying that red eyeliner

OKAY first time i did this i tried to catch the plane, which is what im doing now because...it just adds scenes and doesnt actually change anything. however the first time i did this...you know what, tell you when we get there. here we go.

rip carmen's motorcycle which she somehow had in montana

imagine being the pilot

oh yeah okay. so, the first time i played this i literally fucking thought i had just condemned carmen to a horrific and unnecessary painful death. the glider prevented me from having a full out heart attack, I think, but it scared me VERY BADLY!

and then- alright, by this point, I'd chosen wrong pretty much every single time. the van, the soldiers, the stash/dash, everything. i just fucked up EVERYTHING. so when bellum called and was like YOU WASTED SO MUCH TIME i thought OHHH NO FUCK DID I DOOM THEM AGAIN NOOO. it turns out, you get that scene no matter which path you take. so. whatever. but that series of events got me so scared

TSONTS does more for carmen's friendship with zack and ivy/building relationships with allies than the entire main series and you can fight me on that

she thought you were making a funny 🤨

autistic bellum agenda

first time around i picked el topo! there are fun sides to both- el topo's line about being pawns in a bigger game, but also le chevre gets you a chase scene on a rollercoaster where agent zari tries to run carmen over . ride the cyclone her if you will. both are fun, but for the sake of doing my og path im going to go for el topo!

el topo is such a cinnamon roll. hes excited to work with her 🥺 he hates no one 🥺

"very well dressed company" acmeoffical should put that was their tagline

i think my first go around i hid, so I'm doing that. AgAiN, tsonts leads you to the wrong option. like. obviously running seems stupid if the entire place is crawling with them?? to me, anyway. but. i guess its always right in this playthrough. still choosing hide first because i like to see carmen break shit and get caught

she pulls a dokuso on that one. where did she get a smoke bomb

the cranial dranial. btw the noises on that title card are disgusssting. you miss out on so many good gags if you save zack and ivy from dying. bellum and cleo squabbling. bellum renaming the mindwiper every three seconds

anyway onto the good option of run

and my favorite background acme agent <3

carmen being loud af in those vents and REALLY not careful with that one of a kind priceless bone

behold, carmen sandiego

love how embarrassed zari is jdsgdjsh

girlie fit through THAT grate???

AHH THE JULIA AIRPORT SCENE

love how you can see her little foot sticking out from behind the tourist before she pops out

i also love how carmen very clearly notices julia following her

my favorite bg character again

julias so cute

woah, a mindwiping carmen plot?? thats so diabolical! im glad its possible to entirely avoid that fate for carmen in the canon. yep!

lil. gay julia

its so sad when julia rejects her if you decide to lock her out on the roof. but also hilarious because julia tracks her through the airport LITERALLY just to break up with her on her own terms. shes like oh i gotta find carmen and carmen is like hi and then julia just leaves

also the dont trust julia ending is literally the worst ending in the game and its a crime that that symbolism didnt carry to the main series. so angsty and good though i really like that scene

ALSO also the carmen getting mindwiped bad ending?? THATS how carmen should have reacted in s4. shes struggling, shes trying to avoid it, but like?? in the CANON MINDWIPING carmens just like grgrggrgr im biting this. not going to change my behavior of yanking on my wrists as maelstrom reveals a terrible fate to me just going to keep looping "struggle animation" like an npc

sorry. im salty about that. you can tell. back on track to the gay ending.

UM. SURE? shes so cute

PAPER STAR'S THEME!!! i love that being woven into the score

juliaaaa in the hat and coaaaat

zack and ivy's banter in the evil shack is great

oddly specific subtitles?

carmen got the perfect circle capabilities of luz in here

how did she just move that piece of roof aside instead of it falling in help

"since when does carmen sandiego wear glasses" REALLY thats the ONLY thing that looks different about her? not the. race change. or the dark hair pixie cut. or losing half a foot of height

zack hugging carmen <33

man im hitting my image limit for this post help

also carmen just shoving zack away is so funny shes not even gentle shes just like BOOM lets jet.

that vile grunt slamming face first into the helicopter my beloved

"not of helicopters im not!" zack says, flying the helicopter flawlessly

"here's looking at you, crew" is a reference to the 1942 film casablanca which was the first location carmen visited outside of vile island. in this theory i will prove that casablanca was the first movie she ever watched and-

how do you know where julia lives, huh carmen? dont you know thats GAY?

HHAAIHUDGHGGHDSJ i love this ending so fucking much arhsghaggdrg. im carmen sandiego and im here to make your day. she's wearing the hat and coat. shes so cute theyre so gay et cetera et cetera

that gayass little display carmen does for her

the fucking. bouquet of red roses oh its carmens color no shut up she did NOT have to do that that was EXPLICIT. ALSO JULIA BLUSHING ABOUT IT WHILE SHE THANKS HER AND HOLDS THE BOUQUET IM GOING FERAL OVER THEM TSONTS DID SO MUCH FOR US

BONUS SCENE TIMEEEEE

what an absolute treasure i love the recreation of the old rockapellas song. they got to correct their czech republic inaccuracy wheeze. oh to be a geography show during a time when geography isnt staying the same long enough to make content about it

zack submitting himself to chinese water torture just for fun

the vile operatives ajdgshdfaghds

ABBY TROTT <3 love you and ivy's dancing and ivy singing and everyone dancing and everyone singing pop off slay the whole nine yards

obsessed with that little arm move on "berlin down to belize" what was that

carmivy canon

tigress's shoulder shimmies and pinchies of the glider yes

cs color theory ON LOCATION + the gays being gay

ive never understood the mekong from the jungle line honestly. did she steal the whole river. unify east and southeast asia. i guess so. if she can steal the statue of liberty why not

puberty didnt hit player like a truck it hit him like a rocketship

brunt's little jig as she goes to punch the living daylights out of carmen <3

SHE PUT THE MISS IN MISDEMEANOR WHEN SHE STOLE THE BEANS FROM LIMA <3 thats my favorite line

GO BORIS SLAY

i also love zari's line

"A moving violation is any violation of the law committed by the driver of a vehicle while it is in motion" julia literally knows carmen is a cant drive gay

mime bomb's one line <3

ACME SPELLING OUT ACME LIKE ITS YMCA IS HONESTLY SUCH A FUNNY VISUAL GAG BY THE WAY

once again, ABBY TROTT'S VOICE

tigress dances like i dance. badly

GAYS BEIN GAY

SLAY CLEANERS GET IT

the little faculty dance showcases is also fantastic. get bellum'd. maelstrom's doing a mickey mouse clubhouse ass dance. cleo is slaying

the mystery: is coach brunt saying "let me know" or "lambkins, oh" its the first one but i thought it was the latter for a long time

THE GROUP SHOT!!

never noticed the mechanic waving her little wrench around. there are a bunch of cute motions like the gays being gayer, a cleaner singing into his mop, and ivy pumping the air with her fist

anyway, SORRY! this was long af! my bad! it's a lot to cover and. kind of hard to liveblog when there are so many options. if anyone got this far, i hope you enjoyed it! see ya next week for season 3!!

and, yes, i was later again. more late than usual, actually. i've been busy with art fight >:)

#csweekly #cs weekly #carmen sandiego weekly #carmen sandiego #carmen sandiego 2019

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bonesandpoemsandflowers · 5 months

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every so often we have the cleaners come over because it is a big house with two very ADHD adults living in it. they are almost always Brazilian, and come in pairs. one girl has been Our Girl for like, five years--before we moved into this house, even. we are a weird house but we're nice and we tip well so I think--emphasis on think--that she is cool with us/our house.

her partner has changed out a few times. for September and October this year, there was a new girl. most cleaners are indifferent to the weird shit you (general you) (but also specifically me) have up in your house--they've seen worse.

but it was over the Cyprianic holy days, you see, and St. Cyprian--patron saint of mages and necromancers and so on--is well known in Brazil. famous? infamous? depends on where you stand.

cheerfully my beloved once said, "it would be less weird in here if it was just the skeletons and shit. but the saints? that's occult, not just goth girl."

so I mentioned the Cyprianic holy days, right? and you guys know my ODDLY HUGE MANTLE? my oddly huge mantle, decked out, for the month of September, in various obviously occult items, bones, skulls, dried chicken feet, candles, and of course, an icon of the the sorcerer saint himself?

so new girl came into our house and politely said hello and then walked a bit more into the house and obviously saw the mantle etc and obviously recognized some of the shit on there, because she just stopped and looked and looked. it was not a look of solidarity or homecoming, so I said something like, "yeah! bye!" and slipped out the door, as one does, because sometimes you decide it's not really a problem, exactly, but you're going to run away now.

later on I realized I also left my copy of The Book of St. Cyprian with the title in Portuguese on the table right next to the mantle.

the book of St. Cyprian, of course, has so much lore surrounding it that it is in and of itself an entity. but also if you ask some religious but not occultist types about it, owning a copy pretty much means the owner is in league with the devil. the book itself is--according to some--evil and dangerous.

anyway, this girl was always super polite and nice! and professional! but I do not think she especially wanted to be here, which is, imo, totally fair. if my mantle made her uncomfortable, I imagine my study was far worse for her.

but so--

today there was a NEW new girl (my age this time or older) and through the language barrier she complimented my plants, so I gave her a pothos rambling out of a big mason jar. but she also pointed to my Abre Camino and said something like, "THIS plant! In Brazil, important!" and I was like, yeah! Important!

is this plant person solidarity or tropical climate solidarity or occultist solidarity? like she also saw the full size house skeleton but also the various Oshun / Oxum / caridad del cobre depictions in the study, so like. are we cool? I hope we're cool.

#text #personal

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lightlycareless · 8 months

Text

First, it hurts— Chapter XXXIII

Naoya Zen’in x Fem!Reader

While arranged marriages are not uncommon in the jujutsu community, it was strange to receive a proposal from none other than the Zen’in’s, nonetheless your clan accepted and before you knew it, you were married off to Naoya.

Your new purpose was clear: to serve and submit, to be seen and not heard. To forget any sense of individuality in favor of obeying your husband.

Will this marriage ever flourish into something else? Will it change…for better or for worse?

Chapter warnings: because I’ve been asked about it quite frequently, it’s safe to say that… mentions of adultery, a bit of fluff while at it, some sad bits as well and a shocking revelation.

A/N: The storm might've tried to stop me... AND IT BRIEFLY DID, but I'm back at it again. :) Nothing much to say, except that I'm happy to be back hehe. Thank you for waiting for me 🥺❤️

Now, without any further ado, happy reading! 🥰

Masterlist ➸ Chapter 34

Ao3 link.

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“Dear Hinata—

I hope this letter finds you well.

I’m still not used to writing that, the dear Hinata thing. It reminds me of those really old letters, like those from the Victorian Era or the war, when people used to be very polite and stuff, super formal, even with their own friends and family! I don’t know how to describe it… it was just weird. I hope you get what I mean.

But yeah, reading back through my letters after I'm done writing them always makes me laugh because I think I’m being melodramatic.

In my excuse, it’s all because of those etiquette classes we were forced to take since we learned how to walk. Ugh, and only because of our roles in the clan! Which I don’t mind! Really… but sometimes the elders tend to be very weird about it, and it makes me feel like they don’t deserve to be treated respectfully at all! And I know that you, more than anyone else, would understand perfectly.

Ah, well, I’m not writing to you to complain about my experiences, I’m doing this because… there’s no other way to put it: I miss you.

It’s been a while since I heard anything from you, or anything at all. And I’m not writing either to complain about that! I don’t want you to feel guilty for not responding because I know you've been very busy with work.

Last thing I knew about the crisis was that it was getting worse. It was already bad on my last mission, so I can only imagine how it is now.

Either way, even when I understand why you can’t respond, it’s still… painful to not hear anything from you. I wish I could at least get one letter from you, a call, even a smoke signal for god’s sake, I don’t care, anything to let me know how you, Ren, dad, and everyone else is doing.

I hope Satoru isn’t bothering you too much, Sumire as well. I am well aware how annoying they can be on their own, so I feel even worse knowing that I can’t help you ease the burden of their antics ^^; hang on, Hinata!!

As for me, life here has been… ok, I guess. The life of a married woman is surprisingly boring and overwhelming at the same time, but I think it’s mainly because there’s so many new things I now have to take care of that I ever thought of before! Mom and dad sure made it seem so fun… or maybe it’s just them.

Anyways, now that I’ve experienced a bit of the “married life” I’m now confident enough to tell you that you did the right thing when not marrying Satoru.

Being a wife is boring, you’re expected to keep most of your time inside the house, tending to it and its inhabitants… So yeah, I wouldn’t recommend it to you. Although I think Satoru could’ve managed to also make it irritating.

But yeah, being a sorcerer is much more exciting, totally. I wish I could’ve done a few more missions before retiring.

That kind of makes my life sound terrible, right? Like I’m locked or something. Please, don’t worry. I’m ok, busy, but ok. Just missing you, and Ren.

I hope dad is ok too. He worries me the most. I hope he hasn’t taken up on drinking again. You know how bad he gets when he does… so please, take care of him if possible.

From there, I don’t really have anything new to say. My ladies, Mariya, Haruko and Hitomi, have been quite calm nowadays, and that’s a bit eerie if you ask me! I hope you can meet them one day.

Or Mai and Maki, I think you’d find them adorably funny too! And mischievous, mostly that. They kind of remind me of us when we were younger. Oh, but they’re definitely way nicer, we used to be our parent’s nightmare, remember?

All in due time, I suppose.

Well… I guess the main point of this letter is to tell you that I miss you, very, very much. That I hope you’re ok and… don’t worry about me. Keep doing what you’re doing, and I’ll be here, waiting for the day I can see you again.

Take care, and give everyone a big hug from my part.

Yours truly, Y/N.

P.S. Please Stop Satoru from getting the idea that just because I’m not there, my things are his. They’re not. And please, please, please don’t let him delete my save files. I do intend on playing them again when possible”

━─━────༺༻────━─━

And that’s how much of your discreet, seemingly harmless letters seem to go—an activity that took most of your attention when you weren’t the Lady of the House or Mai and Maki’s older sister.

One that would quickly become your go-to method when trying to ease the pain in your heart, even if Hinata has yet to write back, thanks to the catharsis it provided.

You’ve long lost count of how many letters you’ve written to her at this point. It’s in the double digits without a doubt, but not all of them have been sent. Because… not all of them were intended to be read.

And since they’re not meant to be seen… you don’t limit yourself when writing your thoughts down—whether they were good, or bad, none of that mattered once the ink fell into the paper.

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“Dear Hinata—

I wish you could meet him, but who knows when that will happen, so for now, I’ll tell you about him.

Naoaki is the best guy I have ever met in my life. I swear.

He’s sweet and caring, sometimes a bit blunt and a little bit weird too (in a good way!), but that doesn’t undermine what a great person he truly is.

Just to give you an example, I once told him that I liked mochi, and since then, he gets some for me whenever he can! I’ve had so much mochi in such a short time… maybe for a lifetime because of him. Although it’s not all bad, I got to taste all kinds of flavors I didn’t even know existed! Still, taro remains the best.

Although I have to admit that I feel kind of bad whenever he brings me stuff, because it’s like I’m forcing him to do that, you know? Even though he already told me that it’s nothing to worry about and that he actually likes doing it… Can you believe he’s even told me he likes doing that… because he likes thinking about me? The mere thought of it makes me blush!

I’ve had these kinds of things happen to me before, but never… like this. It’s different, special… and yet, I’m afraid of acknowledging these feelings. Why?

Well, moving on… You must be wondering what he looks like. All I can say is that he’s very cute—or more like cool! Like a bad boy kind of thing (∩˃o˂∩)

Oooh, I hope Naoaki never gets to read this letter, because if he does, I think I’ll die!!

But yeah, no amount of words could ever compare to meeting him in person. I’m sure once you meet him you’ll like him too… not too much, I hope ( •̀ - •́ ) Just kidding!

I hope Ren likes him too, since he can be quite… protective sometimes. You know what? Nevermind, the two of you can be like that, dad too!—guess that’s the one thing I don’t miss about you three—now I’m hesitant if I want any of you to meet him, you’ll probably scare him while at it!

Well, I’m sure neither will feel that way with him. He really, really is… special.

I long for the day I’ll be able to see you all again. Take care.

Yours truly, Y/N.”

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“Dear Hinata—

I hope you’re ok with the fact that I’m no longer the youngest sister, because our family has grown thanks to the addition of the adorable twins Mai and Maki!

Mai is very sweet and soft spoken, rarely gets herself into trouble… or so that’s what she wants you to believe, because when you least expect it, she’s a mischievous little demon! I’ve already lost count of the times I’ve been spooked by her, and I’m 100% sure she’d give Satoru a run for his money—imagine all the things we could’ve planned together to get back at him? With guidance from us, the masters, Mai can be an excellent addition to our cause, and an unstoppable force ᕙ( •̀ ᗜ •́ )ᕗ !!

But if you think that Mai is unstoppable, Maki is on a whole different level! She’s a bit rougher than her, although I think assertive is the right word for this situation… But don’t be fooled, for deep inside, she’s very sweet too. She’s caring and very protective of Mai and her mother, and isn’t afraid of speaking her mind. She kind of reminds me of you, and I think you two would definitely get along well. Also, I think I finally found your competition in her! Whenever we play she seems to never run out of energy, she’s also very strong, and sharp… is that even possible for a little girl like her? Maybe, you exist after all (￢‿￢ )

I wonder what Ren and dad would think of them—I know my mom would’ve loved them.

Yours truly, Y/N.”

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“Dear Hinata—

Have you ever seen something you weren’t supposed to? I promised not to tell anyone, but the embarrassment is killing me! So I need to tell someone, and that someone is you.

I saw… one of my ladies… with her boyfriend… doing… that. Kind of. Yeah. I don’t need to say more than that. And please don’t ask me to go into detail.

Obviously it wasn’t on purpose!! It was all an accident, but even if everything’s fine now, I still can’t get the image out of my head!!!

It was like… I don’t know, like when you hear that one of your teachers is pregnant. Like, sure, one can suppose those things happen in their personal life… but you don’t want to be told about them, you know?? Ugh!! The mental image!! Ewwww!!!

But ah, it certainly feels good to finally tell someone. I’ve been holding onto this secret for the longest because the rest of my staff doesn’t know, and can’t know because of some stupid details on their contract, but who am I to judge? Nonetheless, it was killing me!! But now you know too.

Now it’s only you, her, and me that knows this. So if this somehow leaks to the rest… I’ll know it was you! (◕‿◕)

Well, I can’t wait to see you again. Give Ren, dad, Sumire, and Satoru (optional) a big hug from me.

Yours truly, Y/N”

━─━────༺༻────━─━

“Dear Hinata—

I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya.

I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya. I hate Naoya.

Yours truly, Y/N”

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“Dear Hinata—

…Does Kento ever wonder about me? Because I do. There’s moments where I can’t stop thinking about him, wondering if he knows where I am, what I’m doing now—or if he thinks I’ve abandoned him.

I hope not…

Well, I’m sure you and Ren already managed that, so I guess there’s really nothing to worry about. Or perhaps he already found out what happened to me by himself. You know how Kento is, always the one to seek out the truth when something’s aggravating him…

Still, I wish I was the one who told him that personally. If only I had the time to do that… then maybe I wouldn’t feel like this.

Do you think he ever foresaw me getting married? Maybe because of our clan, but… I, for once, did not think it would happen, not like this anyways.

And there’s so many things that I missed from him too—like how he’s doing at his job, if he’s already moved to where he told me he was going… or maybe even a promotion!

I can’t believe I’m missing out on my friend’s life… and even if nothing has occurred, I still would’ve liked to be there. Take him out to eat to celebrate… or be the shoulder he can lament on.

…

I hope he'll be able to forgive me for not being there, and that I’ll also be able to make it up to him in due time.

Please let him know I’m ok, and that I miss him very, very much.

Yours truly, Y/N”

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“Dear Hinata—

I can’t hide it anymore. I feel like I'm suffocating whenever I have to swallow my feelings and act as if nothing is happening, when the truth is completely different.

I need to get them out, get all of my pain out, less I want to be consumed by it.

My life at the Zen’in estate has been nothing but a nightmare—no, more than that. Nightmares at least end when you wake up. But I haven’t been able to do that. Whether I’m awake, or asleep, this is never ending, every day, getting worse as each day passes.

I can only assume this is hell.

The things I’ve been forced to go through just because of their depravity are ones I don’t think myself capable of writing down. The mere thought of them nauseates me, makes me want to run, as fast as I can and scream, to let everyone know what I have suffered… but I can’t, and I won’t, because I know no one will hear me.

Naoya has defiled my body, broken my spirit, humiliated me in all kinds of unimaginable ways, taken pride in it, and done it all over again.

But what hurts me the most isn’t what he did, but rather… how I allowed it.

There are days I can’t even stand the sight of myself in the mirror because all that I see is a weak woman that allowed herself to be soiled.

I lived through a lifetime of training, and yet, I couldn’t even stop him from hurting me.

Our family was right when saying that I wasn’t suited to be a sorcerer. Because how could I expect to protect others if I can’t even protect myself?

I’m weak. I’m a disappointment to you, to our family, to the community, and to myself.

Yet… you still wish to save me. You’re working so hard to get me out of here, as if I were worthy of your effort, while I’m unable to do the simplest of things…

I’m ashamed of all the things I’ve put you through. I wish to relieve you of all of this.

If only I could… die, stop being a burden to all of those that care for me, and just disappear… I know everyone would be much better.

I’m sorry”

━─━────༺༻────━─━

So on and so forth.

There’s no particular order behind these letters nor a general meaning to them—outside of being nothing more than a way to vent out the emotions you’re hesitant of disclosing to others, eventually sealing them in their respective envelope, and securely stashing them away from your staff and Naoaki, never to see the light of day.

There were days where your prolificness would show up after particular occurrences, making you fear for their privacy for you didn’t wish to appear… obvious that you were doing something outside the usual before your staff, especially from Mariya since nothing seems to escape her keen eye.

But if she has noticed such a thing, she’s yet to let you know. Well, you guess you could rest easily knowing she would never tell your secret to anyone else, and she’d never confront you directly about it either… but living with that uncertainty might come to torment you from time to time.

Ah, it’s probably all in your head either way. You’re more careful nowadays.

Nonetheless, you appreciate her prudence towards your sensitive matters… and the fact that you were able to find a good friend in this never-ending nightmare that is the Zen’in estate.

Three friends, to be precise: Haruko, Hitomi, and Mariya—they are the definition of loyal, understanding, and empathetic. Even after all that occurred… the horrible things you did to them… they still stood by your side, unwavering.

If there was only a way to repay all they’ve done for you… you’d take it without hesitation.

Or at least a better way from what you already tried. The sweets you got during your last outing were an attempt at that, but that’s only the least you could do and certainly not comparable…

So even after giving them what you labeled a token of your appreciation, you kept wondering day after day, just what else was in your power to show how truly grateful you were towards them…?

“What’s got your cute little head all worked up?”

“Hmm?” you blink, pulled away from the deep realm of your thoughts, back to the present and to the young man alongside you, Naoaki, alongside the wide variety of snacks your staff had prepared for your first break after a long day of overlooking your customary responsibilities. Just like everyday.

His focused yet inquisitive golden eyes intently stare at you, and this prompts you to shake off whatever remained of your thoughts away, and finally conduct all of your undivided attention to him.

“Oh, nothing, I was just… thinking.” you say, what happens to be somewhat of a truth.

“I can see that” he says, inching a bit closer to your side before reaching over for a grape and offering it to you. It’s been a while since you snacked on something, too deep into your mind to have noticed. He was getting a bit worried, so that’s why he called for you. “That’s a dangerous thing to do, you know”

You give him a small smile before chuckling, cheeks slightly warming up by the action as you take the fruit from his hand. Fingers slightly grazing each other, but you don’t think much of it.

“What? Afraid that I might be plotting something dangerous?”

“Maybe” he smirks, and then shrugs. “Gotta know if I have to prepare for the worst”

“Where’s the fun in that?” you tease back, then place the grape into your mouth. “I like to keep some mystery when plotting my evil schemes”

“You? Evil?” He ribbed. “Impossible”

“Huh? Why are you doubting me? I can be if I put my mind to it.” you sassed back.

“No, not a cutie like you—You and your mochi cheeks can be anything but evil” Naoaki smirks, raising his hand to carefully pinch your right cheek, and then, you’re overtaken by a combination of embarrassment and shock.

Frozen by his words, you’re unable to do anything else but try to back away from his hand, looking away being the quickest solution, before whispering once freed from him “...don’t say things like that”

“Or deceivingly evil too” he adds with a chuckle. Naoaki is clearly enjoying just how easy it is to get you all flustered. Cute is the word he uses to describe how he sees you. “Feeling better?”

“... a bit” Once your embarrassment disappears, you turn back to him, now able to appreciate the intentions behind his unforeseen efforts.

You don’t know how he does it, (or why in some of your most self-conscious moments) but it’s like he has a sixth sense when detecting whenever you’re feeling down—Perhaps it’s your glaring gloomy face and your uncharacteristic silence that gives it away—and how always knows how to make you happy.

You truly can't believe you were blessed enough to meet him in a place like this.

“Did you like the candy?” you proceed to change subjects, one that you remember not following through due to both of your unavoidable commitments.

“I’m not that much into sweets, but I liked the few I tasted.” Naoaki admits as he leans back into his arm, sighing. You move closer to him, placing your arms alongside his and resting your head on his shoulder, gaze landing on the garden before the two—it's one of the few that still had some spring flowers, the others having already withered away due to the cold weather. In order to make the most of them before they inevitably disappear, this has become your go-to place whenever taking a break. “Now that I think about it, that makes me sound a bit ungrateful”

“No— of course not!” you shake your head; the last thing you wanted was your gift to be perceived as anything else but what you intended: appreciation. “I mean… I was just trying to repay you for all the things you’ve given and done for me… but there’s nothing more I would’ve liked than getting you something closer to your preference, but I—”

“Don’t worry about it” he interjects, swiftly cutting the path he thinks to be leading you back into sour memories. He’s stayed away until now, and Naoaki wants to keep it that way. “I still liked them. I just hope you don’t mind I shared them with Naohiko and Naofumi so they wouldn’t go to waste”

“Oh, you did?” you blink, and your interest is hooked at their mention.

It’s been quite a while since you saw either, even more so to when you last spoke to them.

The only exception being Naohiko, and that’s only because of the surprising interest he had towards one of your ladies. From there, it’s not hard to guess why he kept his distance from you: he doesn’t like you. And honestly? You’re ok with that. He’s not very friendly to begin with anyways.

Naofumi, however, is the one you have not seen at all after your introduction, aside from brief glances here and there, occasional greetings whenever he’s close enough to hear them, but from there, nothing. He’s virtually invisible, and that’s a shame, because you felt a certain affection towards him and would love to get to know him a bit better. Maybe Naoaki can arrange something…?

“What did they think?” you ask.

“I hope you weren’t expecting much from Naohiko, since he’s kind of… how do I say it…?”

“A jerk?” you blurt out, and he huffs.

“Heh, guess there’s no other way to put it”

“Hmmm, well, it seems he’s only like that with me. Others would say he’s not that bad.” you say, and Naoaki raises an eyebrow.

“Now that’s a new one. Where did that come from?”

“Oh, nowhere.” you shrug, reaching for another grape. You intend to stuff it in your mouth as if to create an escape from being confronted and telling on more than you already have, but Naoaki, who came from a family of exceptional sorcerers, caught on to your intentions almost immediately, and swiftly robbed the grape from your hand, foiling your escape plan and causing you to drop your mouth agape out of shock. “Hey!”

“Ah, ah” he grins, raising his hand to keep the grape away from you as you scurry to grab it back, to no avail. “No grape for you until you tell me”

“Tell you what? I don’t know what you’re talking about!” you feign ignorance, or more like try to save Hitomi’s reputation, with a wide grin on your lips that implies something else. You might be a bit offended by his actions, but you can’t say you weren’t having fun.

“I’ve never heard anyone say that about my brother” he explains, face leaning closer to yours. You blush, darting your eyes away at the sudden proximity. “Come on, Y/N. Tell me— or I’ll be forced to keep you here. I don’t care if you have more things to do, you’re not leaving until you tell me.”

“Well then, I hope you’re comfortable with what you’re wearing because we’re spending the night here!” you declare, crossing your arms and looking away. He huffs, clearly impressed

“Seems I miscalculated your loyalty for your staff.”

“My staff?” you blink “Who said anything about—”

“Guess.”

Ah, Naohiko, of course. His well-known imprudence goes hand-in-hand with indiscretion. There is no way he would’ve been able to keep quiet about his newfound interest on the then newest addition to the staff, the dark yet beautifully mysterious Hitomi, without gushing about it to his brothers, of course. It’s physically impossible for him to do so.

“...Oh” you murmur, sounding a bit defeated. “Yeah, that makes sense.”

“Well, putting aside Naohiko’s opinion, Naofumi liked them very much. I’m telling you, you don’t find these kinds of things around the estate, so it's only obvious they'd jump at the chance of eating them—even if they don’t like it.” he reassures you with a smile, enjoying the way your face seems to light up at the seeming approval of one of his siblings. A sight he never wishes to take his eyes from… or better, earn it for himself. “Don’t worry your pretty little head about anything, I can assure you, they liked it”

“I wasn’t that worried about them…” you slowly begin to confess, cheeks slowly obtaining a crimson color as you glance from the garden before you, to his hands, and finally, up to his eyes. “...I was more worried… about you.”

“Really?” he murmurs, his voice low and husky, in such a way that makes something inside you… burn, as he tilts his head to the side.

Naoaki is moved by your admittance, however, he’s not surprised, for you often portray your care towards others, it was in your kind nature after all.

But the more he gets to be with you, the more he can’t help but think that, from a moment forward, there’s been an additional value behind your words, your actions; and he’s not talking about the night he cuddled you, he’s talking about something else, something deeper.

Something more meaningful, intimate between the two—a thing he longs for, yet, saddens him.

There’s no doubt in his mind that if the circumstances between the two had been completely different, without his brother lingering in the background, and no commitments holding you down, he wouldn’t be this hesitant. Perhaps you neither.

But after all that’s happened… is it… impossible? Maybe… there is something to be done.

“Do you think of me often?” he incites. “Because I do”

“…There’s no way to answer that” you press your lips together, swallowing before looking away once again—you can never look him in the eye like this, yet, as overwhelming as it feels, you don’t wish to run away.

“I think there is.” He says, moving his hand close to your lips, hovering over them and carefully placing the grape there, as if inviting you to let it in.

You were hesitant, beyond flustered by the seemingly intimate undertone of his action and the consequences that it could unleash, but you eventually relent, slowly opening your lips and accepting the fruit.

But when you thought your agitation couldn’t worsen, the moment you feel the warmth from his fingertips slide over your lips your heart explodes.

It’s not the first time you’ve been this close to him, the most being when you shared a bed with him one particular night you were feeling like absolute garbage, but this… this is beyond that—and you know so because it feels like that.

You’ve long admitted feeling the existence of a sprout, the smallest of them yet ever present, of what you assumed to be feelings for him.

It took you a while to get there, still working on it in a way, mainly out of fear of doing something that might endanger you, or… not wanting to go past the point of no return when you finally acknowledge them.

It’s not time for that, you’d say to yourself from time to time, as if to feel less guilty for them this isn’t something you should be doing if you want to survive…

But if all he’s ever done is bring you happiness in this cold, dark world, keep you… hopeful, perhaps even motivated, to keep on fighting…

Is it really that bad to indulge in them?

Anyone else would’ve supposed not.

After chewing your grape, you look back up to him, only for your cheeks to flare up even more—was that even possible at this point?—for his golden eyes were firmly set on yours, and it might just be your imagination, but you feel as if he were… asking you to do something. Do more.

It’s like he could see the essence of your soul, and the turmoil in your thoughts, discarding everything else around you, and hypnotizing you to solely keep your attention on him and make a decision regarding your feelings.

But that moment was not to arrive just yet, and when his exposure felt too much for your poor heart to handle, as well as remembering your current position, you instinctively looked away, comfortingly reaching for another grape, and shoving it into your mouth, in order to bail you out of this situation.

Had you been alone, in the confines in your room with him, underneath this exact situation, would you have reacted the same way? Or finally take the next step?

“…A—Anyways” you murmur, voice strained, as you do your best to wash away the lingering sentiments of this sudden encounter while praying that this hadn’t ruined anything between the two. After all, there is a possibility you were just misinterpreting his actions…

Can you still say that after he admitted to wanting to be close to you, outside of a simple friendship?

“How’s—How’s work?”

Naoaki falters for a moment at your unexpected detour, frantically asking himself if he had overstepped and caused you to feel uncomfortable.

Maybe, but even then, he doesn’t allow this change to upset him that much—out of the necessary of course. Naoaki hates the possibility of hurting you, so much that he’s already thinking on how to make it up to you— for he's long learned that these small moments with you are the ones he should value above anything else; if it’s meant to happen, it will… he supposes.

Instead, he smiles, holding back his disappointment and angst for longing something more, before continuing on with conversation.

“Busy, it’s been terrible. And it’s only getting worst since we’re getting close to the busiest day of the year”

“Busiest day…?” you repeat, wasn’t that usually during summer?

“October, finals of”

Oh. Right. It’s only the second busiest day of the year for sorcerers.

“Halloween” you answer “Wow, time sure goes by fast”

Has it really been that long since you married Naoya?

“Especially when you’re busy.” he groans. Naoaki sure loves working as a sorcerer, but sometimes it just… ugh. “I’m not enjoying the fact I rarely get time to spend here anymore, from the moment I wake to when I sleep, all I do is work, work, paperwork, and more work”

“I’ve noticed—you rarely spend the night here too.”

“Hmmm, when you put it that way, I guess I got lucky.”

“Why?” you tilt your head, confused.

“I saved myself from your cold hands and feet”

You pale.

“Jesus… Naoaki” you frown “… you always have to make fun of me, don’t you?”

“I can’t help it, you make it too easy” he smirks, and your indignation (or worry, more likely) is ignited once more.

“I’m working on it. It was supposed to be a surprise but… I guess I could tell you now” you effused, now both excited and nervous to see his reaction. “I was making gloves for you! So… my hands wouldn’t bother you that much”

Naoaki blinks, now it’s his time to be flustered.

“Oh, Y/N… I—I was only joking about that!”

“... it doesn’t have to be just for that” you say, embarrassed to have taken his words a bit too seriously. But you couldn’t be blamed, the last thing you wanted to be is a nuisance for him… and you felt your hands too… maybe you should be the one wearing them? Oh, how… awkward… “You can take them to missions, or just… use them in general… If I ever get to finish them”

“What do you mean?”

“I was doing them alongside Hitomi, but now she’s doing something else so I had to pause that. I hope I’ll be able to catch up before winter ends!” you chuckle nervously, scratching the back of your neck and Naoaki smiles. He already thought you couldn’t be any more perfect… but your enthusiasm towards his gift proved him wrong.

“I’m sure they’re going to be great when you finish them” he reassures you and your heart flutters. For him, you’ll do your best. “As for catching up… there’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you before I leave again”

“Oh” your heart sinks. Already so soon? He’s only been here for a few hours, must he really go? “When are you leaving?”

“Tomorrow. And it seems I won’t be able to visit you until halloween season is over, but I’ll try to do my best to be here.” he says, and you press your lips. It definitely sounds like it’s going to be a long time before you’ll be able to see him again… you just hope nothing bad happens until then.

“What is it that you wanted to tell me?”

“I saw your sister the other day”

And in less than a second, the sentiments you had of anguish pertaining to his absence were swiftly replaced by those of shock and optimism, for what this sudden course of events could mean to your predicament, and overall, the closure you've been desperately seeking.

“Wh—where? When??” Unable to contain your emotions, you fret, instinctively lunging towards him and grabbing his hands. Although when it comes to him, when do you not?

“HQ called for a reunion a while ago” Naoaki starts, holding onto your hands gently. It was endearing for him to see how your big round eyes glistened with anticipation at the mention of your sister.

Oh, if only…

“I wasn’t expecting to be there at first, but since I’m covering for Naoya for the moment… Anyways, the meeting turned out to be a pretty important one since a bunch of other sorcerers were there, amongst them, your sister.”

“Was—Did you see my brother too?” you naturally presume, your expectations now soaring in the sky.

“No, unfortunately I didn’t” he responds, and you press your lips, discouraged. «Well, you shouldn’t be greedy» you try to reassure yourself «it’s good enough that he’s been able to see at least one person from my family»

“What happened? Did she talk with you? Did you talk to her?”

“Ah, Y/N… I’m going to be completely honest—I tried approaching her but she… she didn’t seem very friendly” Naoaki chuckled nervously, so as to hide his own disappointment towards himself. It seems that whenever he has advancements regarding your family, it’s always negative.

He wishes that the day he’d be able to tell you something good will come soon… if only to easen some of your burdens.

“What… happened?” you prod on. To say that you were also disappointed… well, it was only expected that you’d be. “Did she say something?”

“I tried approaching her, at first to say hi but as soon as she looked at me I felt as if I had done something terrible. She gave me a stern look, remained quiet, and then… left. I gotta say Y/N, if it wasn’t because you two look alike, I would've never guessed you were related to her—since you’re so kind and friendly…”

With that, alongside the fact this wasn’t the first time you heard such a thing, you’d have to agree with Naoaki.

Hinata always carried an aura that was colloquially known as “scary dog privilege” wherever she went—especially with you.

In other words, whenever out together, Hinata acted as if she were your own personal bodyguard, scaring off unsuspecting passersby she considered unworthy of your attention, presenting a threat to you, or just people she didn’t vibe with—and that’s a behavior she had since childhood

To make matters worse, Ren was like that too—you grew to assume that their overprotectiveness came from your status as the youngest of the family (and in some peculiar cases, fear of being replaced), a quirk that came straight from your father’s side—although you could feel a bit at ease with him, since he acted that way that with everyone… kind of.

So to hear that your sister wasn’t that receptive towards Naoaki was not surprising—if anything, it just made sense. From a start, Hinata never liked the Zen’in, considering them to be too conceited. A sentiment that naturally extended to Naoya. Who Naoaki looks like…

You sigh.

Had Hinata known Naoaki the same way you did, you were absolutely sure their encounter would’ve been way different—maybe even worked with him to get you out of there— but since all she has for reference is Naoya, it’s only natural that she’d treat him with a certain… disdain.

Perhaps not stupidly obvious as to not set off any alarms, but she wouldn’t relate to him any more than necessary. For all she knew, Naoaki might be just as guilty as Naoya.

Is that—is that the reason why she hasn’t responded to your letters? They are signed under Naoaki’s name after all…

«Oh, Hinata…»

You really hoped she would’ve seen through their façade and given them a chance… Her stubbornness can be quite the powerful enemy when it comes to it.

But if that hasn’t been achieved in the past, what makes you think it would change now?

“Yeah, that sounds like my sister alright” you murmured, releasing another sigh. “She’s always been like that, not… very friendly.”

“She did greet me eventually” Naoaki interjects, as if trying to save the reputation of your sister before your eyes. As an older brother, he knows all too well that awful feeling of disappointing your younger siblings. “It was a quick nod, and I can’t blame her, she seemed to have the heaviest workload of the season, at least from what I heard at the briefing—no wonder she wasn’t all too friendly, she’s probably overworked.”

Another reason, the most plausible one, for her silence. One that consoles you into not being so harsh towards her.

You can’t imagine that being a very important, highly sought after sorcerer was any fun, or that it left her any time to do something. That was already her life when she was just a student, getting to see her less and less during holiday breaks, so now that she’s a professional it just got worse.

Yet, as overworked as she was, you never left her mind.

This doesn’t make you feel any less regretful than you already were when it came to your frustration for her lack of response—but it at least reminds you to be extra careful if you decide to send more letters to her.

Your actions, even though taking place in a secluded area, must not jeopardize her in any shape or form. Avoid giving away anything that might inform Naoya you’re planning your escape with your sister and ruin her efforts.

Now that you think about it, Naoaki actually exposed himself even more than he already has when it came to interacting with her.

If anyone from the Zen’in clan, or someone close to them, had seen the two or gotten the faintest idea that something was going on, they might’ve rushed to relay this information to your tormentors with the purpose of enacting punishment—more so after your reputation as been notably tarnished after the rumors that sprouted between you and Naoaki.

You assume that because something has yet to occur, they didn’t know—but risks are something you can’t afford to take and maybe next time you won’t be as lucky.

“It’s good she didn’t say anything then” you say, and this catches Naoaki by surprise.

“Why do you say that, Y/N?”

“Because someone could’ve seen you with her and assumed something bad” you explain “I’m… supposed to be here, cut away from the world, right?”

“…right” he frowns, whenever he remembers that you’re virtually locked up in this fancy jail infuriates him. Yet, he doesn’t want you to lose hope, and he reminds you that. “I’m still willing to send her letters.”

“Thank you… but right now I don’t have anything” you say, omitting the fact that you’ve been writing consistently, although as explained before, for therapeutic reasons. Not exactly letters you’d want to be delivered any time soon, if at all, and certainly not the ones you’d wish to get intercepted if you ran out of luck. “For now I just want you to focus on your job, do the best you can, and get back safely—from what you’ve told me, it seems it’s only getting worse.”

“Ah, that’s nothing new” he shrugs. “The only thing I look forward to when out are the days I’ll be able to see you again.”

“…gee, you just love making me feel bad, don’t you?” you pout.

“Huh? Why?” he chuckles. “I’m just saying the truth”

“Because you make me sound like I’m so interesting, when that couldn’t be any further from the truth! I just tend to the house, help Mai and Maki with their homework, or follow Junko around the estate. Certainly not things I’d call exciting.”

“That’s not true. And you know that.” Naoaki frowns, he never, ever liked this denigrating aspect of yours. To him, you were doing equally important work. “Either way, I’d rather you do that than be out there where it’s not safe… Although I’m sure you’re more than apt in defending yourself, fellow sorcerer—even if you hadn’t told me your technique yet.”

Ah, if only he knew you were questioning your abilities in one of those many letters…

“Like I told you… I’d rather show you.” you explain and he smiles.

“I’ll look forward to that day then” He gently pinches your cheek, and you huff, annoyed by the pain from his pinch, before laughing once he releases you and chuckles as well.

A shadow suddenly emerges at the distance, catching your attention just by the corner of your eye, making your head swirl into its direction in an attempt to figure out what it was.

The answer soon appears clear as day: It’s Mariya, with a tray in her hands intended to pick up your plates, walking towards the two, alongside the reminder that your break was over.

“I have to go now” you say, a bit embarrassed at the notion that she might’ve seen your closeness with Naoaki, as well as upset that it had to end seemingly so soon—It’s been well over an hour, far longer than what you intended, but with him, time seems nonexistent. “Well, I’m certainly happy that I got to see you before you left”

“It was nice seeing you again too, pretty” he smirks and you halt, mind attempting to process his compliment, before continuing on by standing up quickly, an effort made to aside your fluster, and begin to pick up your plates—but Naoaki wins you to it by doing the same, if not a bit faster.

“…Thank you” you say, receiving the dishes from his hands, before looking up to him. No words were said between the two, but you knew it was not time to say goodbye.

Your farewells with him now consisted of a hug, which you were more than tempted to do on this occasion, but Mariya’s presence stops you, so instead, you opt to perform a simple bow, wish him a good trip, and turn around for your own departure.

Or so that’s what you intended to do, for Naoaki had another plan; before you were able do as much as think of heading towards Mariya, he swiftly grabs you by the arm, careful to not startle you into dropping the plates and pulls you into his chest, tightly wrapping his arms around you and encasing you there.

Your heart was already a mess the moment the back of your head landed on his chest, more so when you unwittingly imagined the look in Mariya’s face for acting witness to this moment, but when you take a whiff of his scent, and feel his head resting on yours before kiss it, you spiral.

“In case I don’t see you for a while—I don’t want to forget how you feel in my arms”

With your hands slightly trembling, Naoaki eventually releases you from his grasp, slowly turning you around to give you a soft kiss on the forehead—another gesture that has your heart thundering against your ears.

“See you later, Y/N. Don’t work yourself too hard.” And with that, Naoaki leaves.

Your eyes remain glued on his back as he walks further and further away from you, as if trying to ensure his safe departure, before returning to the present and to the stern face of a woman who wasn’t too fond of this relationship (but under divergent circumstances compared to the Zen'in) when he was finally gone—Mariya.

Once seeing you walk towards her, Mariya snaps out of her trance and steps closer to you, intending to swiftly maneuver the plates from your hand into her tray.

“Did you enjoy your food?” She asks. You tried to help her with her task, but no matter how many times you tried, she never relented. Well, Mariya didn’t gain her outstanding reputation for nothing.

The first thing that Mariya noticed from the plates was that the snacks were completely gone. She usually doesn’t make a big deal out of it, outside of watching what kinds of things you were inclined to eat and see if they matched Junko’s… “suggested” diet, however before she could do all that, she first needs to assess whether it had been you the one behind its emptiness or Naoaki, whom she has now unwillingly taken the role to feed as well.

Which she did not like, not one bit.

Couldn’t he just ask his own staff or something? Her loyalty only extends to you, not him. Ah, well, it doesn’t matter anymore, she’s long accepted the fact that whenever he’s around she’s feeding two.

“Yes, it was good as always” you say, a quick nod and a smile on your face as you now follow Mariya deeper into the estate and onto your following chores—your previous sentiments of awkwardness now slowly dissipating. “The grapes were particularly sweet today.”

“They’re from a fresher batch, Haruko made sure to check them.”

“Haruko’s taste never fails.” you proudly state. “I know I can always count on her for that!”

Mariya’s lips tugged upwards at the mentions of one of the sisters, and it wouldn’t take much longer before she comes to the conclusion that she’d be a fool to let Naoaki ruin her time with you. After all, she too has found a good friend in you.

“Her reactions are the best way to know if a food is good or not. If it’s good, she’d grin, but if it’s bad, she’d twist her mouth in the funniest way ever that always has me laughing!—Ah, this takes me back to the face she made upon tasting the sweets you got her. I’ve never seen her that happy!”

And how could you forget? It had been a sight that eased your nerves, caused by your indecision when it came to selecting gifts for your staff.

Of all of them, you were most hesitant towards Haruko due to her peculiar appetite. While she was known to be a great lover of all the edible, you didn’t want to choose the one thing she didn’t like.

Fortunately, of all things that were said of Haruko, being a picky eater was not amongst them, apparent on her excitement upon receiving your gift, wasting no time to rip the box open and gobble all of its contents, which naturally earned her a scolding from Hitomi.

“If you eat them too quickly you won’t get to enjoy them!”

Haruko was on her way to retaliate, but you swiftly interrupted her by taking out another bag of sweets and handing it over to her.

“I… kind of suspected that would happen, so I got more.” you explain nervously. “I wasn’t sure which of the two to get you, so I got both… I hope it’s ok.”

Moved by your gesture, Haruko would begin to cry, much to your shock, and then, happiness.

“Oh Y/N-chan…!” she then lunged towards you to wrap her arms around you, unwittingly rattling you. “This is the nicest thing anyone has ever done for me, thank you so much!!”

You chuckle, immediately wrapping your arms around her, reassuring her it was fine and to continue on with tasting out all of the sweets—you got her a variety pack after all, and all flavors must obtain her approval before anything else!

Hitomi on the other hand, relents to accepting that her sister will always be like that, sighing and crossing her arms as if disappointed, but then, a smile parts her lips, proving that it really didn’t bother her that much either way.

Hitomi and Mariya would also get a gift from you, showing their gratitude in a less theatrical way than Haruko, but holding the same sentiment.

The seamstress would have a few samples at that moment, before saving them for another occasion, in her own words: to have after dinner, or when craving something different from the usual.

And Mariya would do the same, keeping her two bags for another moment, but for an entirely different situation. Which wasn’t a decision that raised any suspicion amongst the rest of your staff, only clear to those involved: she intended to share them with Tatsuro, her boyfriend. And you wanted her to share them with him, for you also wished to acknowledge how he, although indirectly, supported you as well—it’s why you gave her double the gifts in the first place.

From there, last but not least, Mai and Maki: as a reward for all the hard work they’ve been doing at school and to keep persevering, as well to show that you cherished them very, very much. God knows they deserve it the most.

However their mother, always the attentive one, seemed to sense the intention from you as soon as it crossed your mind, and before you were even able to do as much as ask for them, Junko warned.

“Don’t even think about it.”

Well, now you were left with more bags that you would’ve liked, and the responsibility of finishing them before rumors began to make their way across the halls.

Haruko, Hitomi and you tried to finish them to the best of your ability, but the team took a hit when Haruko went into a small sugar coma, forcing the rest of the members to delegate this task to someone else, that person being… Tatsuro.

Ever since that aspect of Mariya’s personal life became apparent, all of her actions gained another layer of meaning—it was so obvious that when she wasn’t partaking in her responsibilities, she was spending time with him. Either through her slightly pinkish cheeks, the smallest strands of her out of place from her usually tight bun, or the subtle stammers accompanying her speech… all roads that led to him.

Which prompts you to ask…

“So… how was Tatsuro today?” you say, a mischievous smirk on your face as the two continue on your path.

“Good… thank you for asking.” Mariya says, carefully glancing at her surroundings as if to check no one’s around, before continuing on. “He’s been in a happier mood since you got him those candies, said it reminded him of his childhood, when he’d go to the convenience store after a hard day at school, to cheer himself up.”

She laughs at the memory.

“Oh, and what was a hard day for you, Tatsuro? Getting to study instead of playing? ” she’d tease.

“Absolutely! A kid has to enjoy a healthy balance of work and play! You’ll have the rest of your life to worry about those things—so why not make the best of your youth when you can?” he states proudly, before pulling her close to him, wrapping his arms around her waist, and resting his head on her shoulder “And I just happen to know someone who needs to be reminded of that”

“Just eat” she says, hearing him laugh before kissing her cheek.

“I’m glad he liked them” you smile before sighing. “Ah, but I’m still upset that I wasn't able to give them to Mai and Maki…”

“Don’t torture yourself with it. You know how their mother is, it’s the intention that counts at the end, and I’m sure they would’ve liked it either way”

“I would’ve loved to hear it from them though… and isn’t it weird that Junko-san doesn't let them eat candies? They’re kids! That’s when you’re supposed to!” you justify.

“Is that what you told yourself when you were younger to not feel bad?” Mariya raises an eyebrow, taunting you with a smirk.

“…Maybe” the two laugh. “Oh, come on, Mariya! Don’t tell me you didn’t indulge in sweets when you were younger!”

“I couldn’t afford them when I was younger” she declares, and her statement makes you feel… a bit like a jerk, honestly. You really should remember that not everyone has the same facilities as you—Hitomi and Haruko being prime examples of that, having previously confided to you that they virtually send all of their money to their mother and sister in order for them to live a comfortable life.

Mariya catches your gloomy reaction, which immediately makes her regret her selection of words, and proceeds to clear up the guilt in your face. “I mean, I might not specifically indulge in sweets, but there were other things I liked.”

“Like what?” you eventually ponder, now feeling less imprudent. What could the talented Mariya long for when the midnight craves hit?

“Shaved ice— I know it’s not that easy to do, but, oh… it’s so, so worth it.” She says, with a tone that drips of desire to get her hands on a bowl.

“What’s your favorite flavor?”

“Strawberry, but I’ve been leaning more into lemon nowadays, or a combination of flavors. Ever since Tatsuro bombarded me with strawberries I’m done with it—at least for now.”

“Aaaahh, so the best way to win your heart is through food?” you gasp “Who would’ve known!”

“You’re quite cheeky, aren’t you?” she grits her teeth, you laugh.

“But am I lying though??—Oh, how sweet!”

“…He is! “ Putting aside your playfulness, Mariya succumbs to doting on her undeniably adorable boyfriend—and let him be appreciated too! “Whenever there’s a new delivery of shaved ice he always does his best to save some for me…”

“Aww, I can see he loves you, very, very much” you gush “How long have you and Tatsuro been dating for?”

“We’ve actually been together for a few mon—”

“Who’s Tatsuro?” A gentle voice asks, coming from behind the two and certainly unaccounted for, evident by the way you and Mariya freeze on the spot, wide-eyed and skin pale, while darting at each other distressed we messed up glances before slowly turning around to uncover their identity:

It was Hitomi. The last person they wanted knowing of Mariya’s secret.

There’s a reason why you and Mariya had kept this aspect of her life away from them, specifically the seamstress. And it’s not because neither believed them capable of keeping a secret, as you stated before, they were tombs when it came to that.

But rather… Mariya didn’t want to disappoint them. Didn’t want to appear hypocritical by saying she was following the guidelines of the estate, and then, not.

She already went through her fair share of doubts when it came to accepting her feelings for him and subsequently starting a relationship, so she could only imagine how this would shatter the perfect image of responsibility she conveyed to them—the one that worried her the most was Hitomi, the stricter of the two, and the most sensitive as well.

Thus, it’s only reasonable that she’d lie on this occasion.

“Oh, no one important.” Mariya explained, jumping to adopt the indifferent stance she has to take in these situations, while scrambling to create a good enough response to stop Hitomi’s rising suspicions. “Just a fellow staff member, one I talk to from time to time to check the goods that arrive at the estate. He’s part of the group in charge of the exteriors, like finding wood, or the food that isn’t found at the village, those kinds of things—that might be why you don’t know him.”

The seamstress keeps quiet while intently staring at your main lady-in-waiting, seemingly with no other intentions than to scrutinize her words down to the smallest details and find the underlying deceit, if there’s any.

As seconds pass and she has yet to say anything, both you and Mariya feel the pressure of her judgment growing heavier and heavier in the air, slowly coming to realize that the moment both did the best they could to avoid, has finally arrived.

Time goes by agonizingly slowly under Hitomi’s sharp gaze, and you could almost feel a confrontation was to happen, the anticipation making your palms sweat, Mariya’s heart pounding painfully —it’s such a nerve wracking moment, that when Hitomi finally decides to speak, both feel like they’re going to pass out.

Fortunately, it seems that all their worries were for naught, for what she says and does is nothing less than music to both yours and Mariya’s ears: she sighs, crossing her arms, and takes the conversation to an entirely different direction.

“I see. Well, I just came to see Y/N.” Hitomi says “There’s some clothes I want her to try for the cold season, before it gets cold obviously.”

“Oh—it’s that what you’ve been working on?” Mariya asks, now feeling safe that her secret will continue being just that, a secret. Nonetheless, something from this moment would continue to bother her the back of her mind, as if telling her to not lower her guard just yet, for Hitomi might’ve moved this topic for another day…—or maybe it’s just her paranoia speaking.

“Yes—I wanted to make something for Y/N-chan as a thank you for the gift she gave us.” she explains—and suddenly it all made sense as to why she’d paused your lessons with her, why she’d disappeared for hours, or why she was going down to the village more often than necessary. It’s because she was preparing warm clothes for you.

And as if that wasn’t impressive enough, the reason behind her actions makes you feel more silly when comparing what you gave her in the first place.

You don’t try to believe, at all, that your candies are adequate competition against the amazing garment you were absolutely sure she had prepared for you…

“Oh…” you murmur, cheeks red with embarrassment yet, moved by her gesture. “thank you…”

“It’s nothing” she says, turning to you and giving you a smile. “I already have the things in your room—if there’s nothing else pending to do, I’d like you to try them on now.”

“There’s only one thing left on your schedule, Y/N” Mariya says “But it’s not urgent, so we can postpone it to later.”

“Then it’s set, let’s try on some new clothes!” You grin, clasping your hands. Truth to be told, you were glad this change happened, because you weren’t feeling like going back to your duties just yet. So no resistance from your part.

“Where’s Haruko, by the way?” Mariya asks once the group begins to head towards your chambers.

“She’s in the kitchen, but she’s already making her way here.” Hitomi responds. Knowing her sister well, she made it her duty to tell her first before searching for you, for in Haruko’s own words… I’d die if you made something and didn’t show me!

“Then it won’t take long to see her.” Mariya presumes, and just as they enter the living quarters, the blurry image of Haruko sprinting to their direction makes its appearance. “Talk of the devil…”

“Ah, I’m so happy I managed to get here before anything started!” she breathes, rushing over to the group while seemingly holding something underneath her sleeves and obi—her enthusiasm makes you feel anxious and a bit embarrassed, for it makes it seem as if you were attending some kind of gala…

Well, you won’t say that underneath all those sentiments, you weren’t a bit excited too.

“What do you have there?” Hitomi frowns upon noticing the protrusion on her clothes, silently hoping it’s not one of her usual escapades that will definitely put her in trouble if seen by the wrong eyes…

“Snacks, of course!” she grins, making the youngest of the two groan. Mariya and you hold back stifled chuckles, the performance was just about to start.

“Oh, Haruko! How many times have I told you not to do that? Were you at least careful to not be cau—”

Thud!

The noise, although relatively demure when compared to Hitomi’s voice or the sounds of water coming from the nearby pond, is prominent enough to cut through their conversation and immediately pull their attention towards it’s direction.

They kept silent, as if waiting for a repetition…

Thud!

It came from the same direction, and now, all of their attention is on it. With their curiosity growing stronger and stronger the closer they got to its origin, more so when distinguishing rushed, heavy footsteps amongst the commotion.

Walking deeper into the living quarters, they eventually see a group of staff members gathering in the hallways, who were carrying two large boxes as they walk towards one of the rooms and stop just outside the door—coincidentally, yours.

“What is going on?” you’re the first to ask when they put down the cardboard boxes outside your room. Unable to figure out by a mere glance, the first thing that comes to mind is that the Zen’in finally grew tired of your presence and decided to gather your things and kick you out—although by Naobito’s threat, you doubt that’s the reality…

Or maybe they’re transporting something and decided to take a small break, completely unrelated to why they were standing out your room.

… But they’ve been there for a while now… so that couldn’t be it either.

You’re back to the starting point, with a mystery that appeared to make less and less the longer they stared, keeping you and your staff at edge.

Eventually your group decides to walk towards the men, where one of them was seemingly dusting off a layer of dirt from the top of the box, with the intention of getting an explanation.

Mariya had her doubts when watching them from afar, but now that they’re close she’s able to recognize one of them as none other than Tatsuro himself.

Knowing well to keep her relationship with him as neutral and unsuspecting as possible, Mariya throws the following inquiry into the air for whoever desired to respond.

“What is the meaning of these boxes?” Your prime lady-in-waiting asks, eyes darting from the box before them.

Tatsuro is the one that ends up responding either way.

“It’s a delivery for Lady Y/N”

Mariya, Haruko, and Hitomi raise their eyebrows out of surprise—but you… your heart jumps out of excitement instead.

“Delivery?” you breathe “For… me?”

If so, this could mean that Hinata… that she finally responded?

You try to not show your elation… something that is easily achievable when remembering that your sister would never make her contact that obvious.

Had it been the case, you more likely than not would've heard of it from someone else first… if ever at all, since you were supposed to be under the harsh isolation.

So if not her… then who?

“From whom?” Mariya asks what’s troubling you. “Who signed it?”

“It doesn’t say” Tatsuro responds, his face lamenting he doesn’t have any more information, she tries to reassure him it’s fine. “All that we know is that it’s under her name, and that the post service delivered it to us a few hours ago, but we weren’t able to deliver it until right now” Tatsuro then turns to you “We first have to get clearance before delivering any packages to the recipients, it’s a measure imposed to ensure the safety of all members. I apologize for the tardiness if this was something urgent.”

“No, it’s fine” you say, gently shaking your head. “I… wasn’t even aware I was to get something.”

Haruko and Hitomi look at each other at the notion, before glancing at Mariya— curiosity and concern evident on their faces.

Well, they could at least relax when it came to danger, assuming no threat was to come from the box since they passed the filters, but then… What exactly was inside the box?

“If there’s nothing more I can help you with, we’ll be going back to our posts” He says, and you nod, a gesture that serves as permission to do just that.

Tatsuro rounds up the rest of his fellow coworkers, bowing to you, and giving Mariya a quick glance, before departing, leaving nothing but the elephant in the room and the overwhelming debacle of whether to acknowledge it or not.

“It’s truly under your name” Hitomi says once stepping closer to the box and getting a better look at the shipping label. “But it also doesn’t say who sent it—at least not directly.”

“What does it say?” Haruko asks, peeking over her sister’s shoulder.

“Something about… storage, no, warehouse. I think”

“It’s from a store more likely” Mariya explains.“Does the name sound familiar to you?”

It’s now your turn to look over to the shipping label, walking over to Hitomi and glancing over her shoulder—you’re hoping to recognize it, get to the bottom of it, but unfortunately it doesn’t ring any bells.

“No” you shake your head, disappointed. “…What… could this mean?”

“I don’t know” Mariya truthfully speaks, equally disappointed that she hasn’t been able to figure it out yet. “There’s no other way to know but to open it”

“Are you sure? What if it’s something that.. well, that I shouldn’t open?” you counter, and she presses her lips together.

“We won’t know either way if we don’t do it—besides, it’s under your name… if it wasn’t intended to be seen by you, then why send it?” Mariya explains, and it makes sense—thus after slight reluctance, you proceed accordingly.

Cue her, Haruko, Hitomi carefully picking up the surprisingly heavy boxes, a fact that made all the women dart their eyes at each other out of surprise and confusion, while you opened the door and allowed them inside.

Their size makes your already small room appear even tinier, but you reassure yourself by thinking it’s only for the time being. Who knows, maybe the things inside the box are intended to be stored somewhere else, naturally, allowing you to regain the robbed space.

Either way, once everything and everyone was inside, the decisive moment was amongst your midst.

“Which one shall I start with…?” you ask—as if the order mattered at this point— while taking a seat on your futon.

“Maybe with that one?” Hitomi suggests, pointing to the box right in front of you. It seemed the easiest route for something you didn’t want to deal with, so you concur.

“I just need something to cut—oh” you blink, surprised by Mariya’s swiftness when giving you a cutter, taken right out of her pocket. You’d seem to have forgotten that she always carried an assortment of tools on her… just in case, as she’d say. And it seems you were the only one that knew that, judging by Haruko’s and Hitomi’s intrigued faces. “Thank you”

“Don’t mention it” she says, taking a seat next to you, the sisters doing the same but on the opposite side.

With nothing else to say, you proceed to carefully take out the protective cap from the cutter —Mariya storing it away— and pressing the knife in between the flaps and against the tape, steady enough to cut through it, and effectively tearing it open.

Your hands then move to pry open the box, eager eyes landing on the sight of layers upon layers of bubble wrap—whatever was inside, it was fragile. A notion that does nothing to ease your or your staff’s rising interest, and if anything, urges you to act faster.

Removing the protective layers from the top, it’s then revealed that the box was carrying an extensive selection of… thin books? No, something else…

It’s here that the group's opinions heavily deviate from one another.

While your staff were nothing less than intrigued when it came to figuring out what they were, and who was the sender… your blood slowly began to run cold as your mind fearfully began to realize exactly what they were.

But your definite conclusion doesn’t come along until your trembling hands pluck out one of the many thin sleeves from the box, pulling it out completely, before your heart sinks to your stomach, flinching and instinctively throwing the item away while frantically stepping back from the box when your eyes eventually landed on the recognizable cover on it.

Your reaction, alongside the echoing noise of the object crashing against the wall makes your staff immediately jolt to your aid, concerned faces, and supportive hands on your back as they fret.

“What’s wrong? What happened, are you ok, Y/N?” Mariya asks but you can’t seem to muster an explanation before lunging over to the box to verify all of its contents.

“What’s wrong, Y/N-chan?!” Haruko cries as she goes to pick up the item you throwed away—she glances at it, attempting to find something horrifying, dangerous, but unable to discover anything wrong.

Oh, but for you, that couldn’t be anything but wrong.

Why?

Because it had been nothing less than a vinyl, belonging to none other than to the Spice Girls.

The rest of the items inside the box were albums as well, ranging from studio albums, EP’s, live concerts, and even special editions exclusively released in other countries, pertaining to the Spice Girls, Dio, some of Michael Jackson, and even…. Super Junior.

All artists you mentioned the last time you spoke to Naoya.

You don’t know what to make out of this revelation, outside of the horror it engulfed you with, and the now false belief that this piece of your personal life was to remain in the past, alongside the embarrassment of the indulgence you’ve committed before him, never to be spoken of again.

But once again, you’re proven wrong when it comes to your expectations pertaining to him—no matter what you thought, what you wished, it was never bound to happen, evident by the unavoidable presence of the boxes, alongside the mysterious motive behind them.

“What are they?” Haruko asks as she takes another good look at them, Hitomi still trying to ease you down by gently caressing your back.

Their humble beginnings never gave them the opportunity to afford beyond the necessary, and by the time their interest for music began, cassettes (and eventually CDs) were in their way in, thus explaining their ignorance over the matter.

“Vinyl’s” Mariya says. “They’re… music albums, not really in circulation anymore, except for those that collect them”

“Albums?” Hitomi asks, finding the whole thing… confusing. If they were nothing more than simple music, then why did you react that way? “Who… did you—Did you buy them, Y/N?”

It’s a question they all knew had a negative answer, for you didn’t have the means to do so, but considering you hadn’t told them of what happened with Naoya the last time you were out, they had nowhere else to look.

You wished to avoid coming to this point, still suffering the shame of having disclosed something so personal to him, someone who clearly didn’t deserve this aspect of your intimacy—or any.

But now that the cat was out of the bag, as well as owing it to them to be truthful after everything they’ve done for you, you were influenced to speak.

“This—This is all related to the day I was out with Naoya”' You begin, and the women, as if they weren’t shocked enough by your reaction, freeze at his mention—with Hitomi’s face going sour while Haruko’s saddening.

Mariya was unquestionably confused as irked by this acknowledgement, yet… a bit relieved that it hadn't been Naoaki the one behind these supposed “gifts”.

Over and over again, your prime lady-in-waiting has declared that she’s not too fond of the relationship you had with him, only tolerating it because it seemed to bring the best of you; Nonetheless, she wasn’t appreciative of his gestures towards you because all they do is put you in a tight spot—and this would’ve done more than just that.

Fortunately it didn’t, and it seems that she could relax if only for a moment.

«It’s the lesser of two evils» Mariya thinks, as if attempting to reassure herself. «But it doesn’t make me any less angry that it occurred through Naoya’s will»

“You don’t have to tell us.” Mariya, noticing the gloomy, slightly teary look in your eyes, interjects.

“No… I think—I think I need to tell you” You say, turning to see her “I’ve been holding on to this for a while now and I… I don’t think I can keep it any longer.”

“What… happened?” Hitom asks, your lip trembles.

“After we went to the doctor, he decided he wanted to go eat. He was insisting that I eat too, but I refused everything. I didn’t want anything from him. However, that didn’t stop him from saying he wanted to do more things, such as looking around the city” you pause, pressing your lips together, swallowing “...after walking for a bit, we eventually stopped at a record store; at that moment I didn’t know why, but after this… I—I’m now sure he noticed when I looked up to it. Anyways… we ended up going inside. Naoya left me alone for a moment, I don’t know why, and I just… started looking around. I eventually bumped into the albums I used to see a lot around my house. Guess I was too focused on them to notice when he came back, but he started asking me about them and I…. I don’t know why, but I ended up telling him how much they meant to me—hell, I even told him how my parents met because they liked music, and what I liked to hear!”

Sensing your distress, Mariya wraps her arms around your shoulders, as if to tell you that everything is alright.

“You don’t know how regretful I’ve felt for doing that… for telling him that about my family… But I just… couldn’t stop myself—I wanted to… wanted to remember when my parents were still together, when my mom was still alive, when I was happy.” you eventually confess, pulling your hands up to your face and releasing out a wail.

As she tried to calm you down, Mariya was deep in disbelief. She couldn’t believe it— nor did she like where this was going — after weeks and weeks of making you suffer, he suddenly wants to be attentive with you? This had to be a joke.

There had to be another reason behind his actions — but what exactly?

“I didn’t think he’d remember” you sniveled. “He was very dismissive afterwards, like always, as if I were boring him!”

“And yet, here are the albums” Hitomi says, and you nod, tears falling down your cheeks.

Mariya has heard enough, enough to know exactly what to do—she just needed your permission.

“What do you want me to do with the boxes?” she asks.

“I don’t want to open the rest, and I don’t want to see them—I don’t care what you do, I don’t want them near my room.”

With that set, Mariya gestures over to Haruko and Hitomi who take less than a second to understand her silent command and get up to work.

“Go to the north wing of the estate, outside, and ask for Tatsuro” Mariya explains “He’s one of the staff members that delivered the boxes here. Tell him that you need to move them somewhere else—and tell him that I sent you, he’ll know exactly what to do.”

Hitomi and Haruko as they made their way to your door, but not before giving you a small reassurance smile as if trying to tell you they’ll handle it from this point forward, urgently heading to their new destination soon after.

Finally alone, with nothing more than the weight of your sorrow on your shoulders, and Mariya’s concern wrapped around you, you allow yourself to cry freely.

“Why—why is he doing this?” your voice cracks as you move deeper into Mariya’s embrace, she holds you tight. “Is he… is he trying to tease me?! Make fun of me?”

“I… don’t know” she answers truthfully—the always-knowing-Mariya is blank when it comes to him for the second time that day. She hates not having the answers for your sorrow, not being able to do much but give you a hug and let you cry.

“Why does he always have to taint everything that is precious to me?!” you condemned “Why can’t he just leave me alone?! Why—why me?!? Of all people, why did it have to be me?!”

Mariya presses her lips together, attempting to keep her own tears at bay, while pulling you closer to her, as if trying to swallow your pain.

“I just… I just want to be happy” you gasp “I want to go home; I want to be with my sister…. My brother…”

“I know, I know” she coos.

“… Guess I finally know what he was doing the second time he left.” you say “The thing he was shoving in his pocket, he probably bought the things right then and there.”

Mariya can’t say that your assumption didn’t go against what she initially thought of his gifts: that they were done in order to pull your attention back to him after you effectively ignored him once returning to the estate.

That wasn’t to be the case, however; Naoya had indeed bought the albums soon after the conversations ended. Just another layer of mystery added to your already troubled dilemma.

“What else happened after that?” she ponders carefully—Mariya knows you were already bottling lots of sentiments inside you, but she’d be damned if she allows you to carry even more burdens into your already heavy shoulders.

“… We went to another store, a candy store. The one where I got the sweets for you guys. Said he wanted to go because he knew I liked them.”

“How… what?” Mariya asks, fear invading her voice at the prospect of Naoya finding out the depths of your relationship with Naoaki—

Having gone through these same steps yourself, you proceed to clarify the situation.

“It’s because of the wedding. Because I—I ate two slices of cake, apparently enough evidence for him to assume I liked sweets” you murmur “I also thought he’d figured out the situation with Naoaki, but he hasn’t… or if he has, he hasn’t told me”

“I don’t think he has.” Mariya concurred. “I made extra sure to keep things hidden from him.”

“… thank you.”

“don’t mention it” she says, giving you a smile.

“But it still doesn’t make sense.” you frown. “All of it, everything—Why would he do that if it wasn’t to make fun of me? To mock what they mean to me? I thought he would forget about it, like he always does when I speak to him, but somehow this was the exception!”

“You won’t have to worry about that anymore” she says “We’ll keep them away from you. Out of sight, out of mind.”

“… Do you think he’ll approach me to ask about them?”

Mariya wishes to say no, but that would only be lying to you.

“I think he will, eventually. Particularly after being informed you’ve received them. Although I’m more worried by the fact that he hasn’t already.” He’s kept a close watch on you days before your second visit to the doctor, but after that, he kept away.

Why?

“…why can’t he just leave me alone?” you lament.

“Try not to think about it anymore” she soothes. “It’s being dealt with. The next time you come to your room those boxes are going to be gone, as if they were never here, and all that you’ll have to worry about is trying on Hitomi’s clothes”

“…I wish I could do more for all of you, for all the things you’ve done for me”

“Seeing you happy is enough for me”

“Then I’ve never been able to repay you”

“That’s not true… moments ago you were teasing me about Tatsuro!” she laughs, and her reaction makes you give her a weak smile. “I’m happy when you’re happy. Hitomi and Haruko too, they love to talk and spend time with you; there’s even moments where I have to reel them back into doing their job!

And don’t forget Mai and Maki too. They’re always looking for you whenever they can, even if their mother doesn’t want them to be that close to you. In fact, I dare to say that even Junko-san is getting to enjoy your company nowadays! That’s been more than enough payment if you ask me”

At her words, all you can do is sob.

“Oh, Y/N—”

“I’m—ah, I’m sorry you have to see me cry all the time!” you gasp, frantically wiping the tears out of your face “It’s pathetic, isn’t it? I want to be happy for all of you too!”

“Take it easy, one day at a time” she smiles, squeezing you. “We don’t have to do anything else for today if you don’t want to—you’ve already completed most of your chores anyways, we can just stay here and rest”

“What about the pending one?”

“Eh, I’m sure I can make something up” she shrugs, and you sniff before chuckling.

“Then I guess I want to do that” you respond. “And try out Hitomi’s clothes, maybe take a nap after that.”

“I can arrange that.” Mariya grins. “Let’s wait for Tatsuro and the rest, I’m sure they’re already on their way here. And once that’s set I’ll get you something to drink so you can relax while you get ready for Hitomi”

And just as she said, footsteps were soon heard gathering outside your room, a quick knock on your door before it slid open, revealing the rest of your staff and Tatsuro’s entourage.

Mariya peels away from you so as to help them get the boxes out of your chambers as soon as possible, but her boyfriend halts her, telling her that it was their job to do… to which Mariya reluctantly agrees, more so after Tatsuro’s teasing smirk (to which she responded by rolling her eyes), gestures that did not go unnoticed to Hitomi, who has yet to place the pieces together, but is moving dangerously close to doing so the longer she ponders at them.

After the group quickly retrieved the boxes, they made way towards an unaccounted chamber, —the same one your yellow kimono from the first time you went to the doctor (the one you couldn’t even dare look at due to it’s painful significance) was stored in— and placed them there, never to be seen again.

The rest of your day proceeds accordingly, with you fitting on Hitomi’s newest kimono, which fits perfectly on you, a testament of her incredible skill, outside of a few small details to be fixed here and there—things she could easily handle—while Haruko shared with you all of the snacks she had stolen from the kitchen; apparently there were many new fresh ingredients delivered that morning, and she wanted to be the first one to try them all out.

Mariya would come back with tea that she assured would help you relax, easen a bit and enjoy this moment… Yet, her efforts alongside those of your staff would be for naught, for as much as you wanted to think of anything else but what had transpired, your mind kept pulling you back to the shocking sight of the albums before you, and how to overcome this obstacle.

You considered rushing to seek Naoaki out and tell him what happened, but you’d either miss him for he’s already on his way to work, or distract him from his responsibilities…

And you didn’t want to bother your ladies anymore than you already have… crying and lamenting yourself had become quite embarrassing for you, even though there were days that was all you could do…

Well, whatever your entangled sentiments held, there was one thing that remained persistent, and that was Naoya’s presence in your mind:

The moment you’d encounter him again, the excuse you’ll have for when it happens, and most of all, the intentions behind those gifts.

#series: first it hurts—#naoya zenin #naoya zen'in #naoya x reader #naoya zenin x reader #naoya zenin x your #jjk naoya #naoya zen'in x reader

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