#but also remember that this book is Old as Fuck
Text
Douchebag
A/n: This is honestly the BEST fic I've ever written! I took a lot from prompts I found on this site and the smut scene is inspired from a book called "The Kiss Quotient." (It was just so damn good). This fanfic is also inspired by my original fanfic, "Douchebag" Tengen x Reader. ALSO, I AM WORKING ON YUTA FICS, SO DON'T WORRY!
Word count: 3.5k
Synopsis: Gojo Satrou was a man of many things. It would be hard to find anyone in the jujutsu world who hadn’t heard of his name before, whether that be through his many wins in battle or his reputation as an A-class player. Some describe him as eccentric, and others (mostly girls) describe him as irresistible. You? Well, you on the other hand would describe him as nothing else than an utter, complete, douchebag.
Warnings: Enemies to lovers, teasing, fingering, intense kissing for a sec, squirting, use of pet names, belly bulge, cervix fucking, breeding kink, virgin!reader, multiple orgasms, unprotected sex, choking
~
You scoffed, watching through the classroom window as a clearly frustrated old man stormed out of the building, no doubt a higher up. No doubt the work of Gojo Satoru.
"God I hate him." You hissed, turning to face a dozing-off Shoko and your other friend Haibara. The classroom you sat in was almost empty, bathed in the soft light of midday filtering through large windows. Sparse shadows stretch across the well-worn wooden floor. Rows of desks, mostly unoccupied, face a dusty chalkboard at the front.
"Who Satoru?" Shoko yawned, leaning into the palm of her hand to face you.
Haibara lets out a loud chuckle. "Why? Because he's an ass to higher-ups?" He nods to the window and you click your tongue against the rough of your mouth.
"No, it's because he is an ass in general. His whole 'holier than thou' attitude, and don't get me started on the way he treats girls." You practically shiver as you remember the time you saw some poor girl from Kyoto Jujutsu High profess her love to the white hair man, only to run away sobbing.
"I swear to god it's like he expects us to kiss the floor that he walks on, he's.... infuriating"
"Who's infuriating?"
Oh god, you knew that stupidly deep voice anywhere. You whipped around to find yourself face to face with the very tall white-haired man you were talking about; a shit-eating grin spread across his infuriatingly handsome face.
“You couldn't be talking about me, could you?” Satoru's voice dripped faux shock and you rolled your eyes.
“Well you know what they say, speak of the devil and he shall appear.” You spat.
“That must be why you love using that pretty mouth of yours to talk about me so much.” Satoru lowered himself to close the provoking height difference between the two of you until your noses were inches away from touching. “Cause ya love having me around doncha.”
In that moment you have to conjure up every ounce of self-restraint to not spit in his face there and then, and luckily your friends catch the drift.
"Hey Satoru! What are you doing here?" Perked up Haibara who reached out his hand to dap Gojo up.
"Well, Suguru and I are heading for a night out today, small club, and I thought, out of the kindness of my heart,"
You scoff and Gojo merely grins and continues,
"I'd invite you all. Drink on me of course."
As Satrou's invitation lingered in the air, you noticed Shoko's ears perk up. Her curiosity was piqued, a subtle lift of her eyebrows betraying her interest. You bit your tongue, the taste of reluctance sharp against your teeth. The idea of going anywhere with Satrou was far from appealing, but knowing your friends might join made it harder to outright refuse.
You crossed your arms defensively, leaning back slightly as you fixed Satrou with a skeptical look. "And why would you want me there?"
Satrou's lips curled into a half-smirk, his eyes lighting up with a mischievous glint."You're annoying, I'll give you that," He took a casual step closer, and leaned in closer, his voice lowering to a conspiratorial whisper, "but I never said you weren't fun."
His words, intended to irk you, did their job well. You glared at him sharply, the frustration evident in your furrowed brows and the hard set of your jaw.
Satrou chuckled.
“Great, I’ll take that as a yes then, I'll text you guys the details.” He turns around to walk out of the classroom. “See you guys there!”
There was a silence as you all watched Satrou walk away before Haibara turns to look at you. “So are you going to go y/n? Come on it will be so much fun!”
“Yeah no way in hell.”
~
You were a liar.
You were a liar because here you were, leaning over the counter of a bar in a club that was far from "small." The nightclub was a pulsing, chaotic hive of activity. Neon lights flashed in syncopation with the deafening throb of electronic dance music that shook the very air. The club was jam-packed with bodies moving rhythmically, the heat from the mass of humanity palpable as the scent of sweat and sweet perfumes mingled.
The bar surface was sticky under your arms, and the occasional spill from a too-hastily poured drink added to the chaos of sounds and smells around you. You lazily stirred the thin red straw into your drink, trying to politely ignore the creep who wouldn't stop talking to you.
Somehow, in the maze of gyrating bodies and blinding strobe lights, you had lost both Shoko and Haibara, leaving you stranded at the mercy of this clueless conversationalist. Despite the roar of bass and the chatter of dozens of conversations, his words seemed to bore into your ears, relentless and unyielding. He leaned in closer than necessary, trying to make himself heard over the club's cacophony, not realizing or perhaps not caring, that you were more interested in plotting an escape than in anything he had to say.
"And might I say you look gorgeous tonight."
It took everything you had not to scoff at this creep's words, but before you should shut the man down, you felt an arm wrap around you.
"Everything alright love?"
Oh god.
You knew that voice anywhere.
As you turned, you were met by Satrou's piercing blue eyes, their color vivid even behind stylish rectangular sunglasses. The multicolor flashing lights overhead caught in the threads of Satrou’s light blue button-up, making it shimmer subtly, and the fabric clung just right to his broad shoulders and tapered waist, hinting at the well-defined physique beneath. You hated the fact that your brain immediately noted how damn good he looked.
His arm was wrapped around your waist drawing you close and you had to bite your tongue from frowning at the pet name he had given you
As he leaned in, his voice was low, a soft murmur over the noise of the club, "This guy bothering you baby?" His tone was teasing, and you could detect the challenge in it, as if daring you to admit that his closeness and pet names affected you just as much as he knew it did.
"Of course I'm fine baby!" You smile brightly and for a second you think Satrou looked a bit taken aback. If playing along got you out of this situation so be it. "This guy, I'm sorry, what's your name?" You glance back at the creep who had turned bright red.
"I'm sorry, excuse me."
You watched as the man disappeared into the throng of the bustling crowd, your attention fixed until he was well out of sight. Only then did you turn back to Satrou, the false warmth on your face instantly transforming into a cold, hard glare.
"Thanks for that, but you can get your hand off me now," you said, your voice icy as you tried to wriggle out of his hold. Despite your efforts, Satrou’s grip on your waist remained firm, unyielding.
"And why should I? I think we made a fantastic couple," Satrou cooed, a teasing lilt in his voice. His eyes sparkled with amusement, clearly enjoying the moment far more than you.
You rolled your eyes, exasperation seeping through. "You really think I would fall for something like that?"
"Why? Did you?" he probed further, his smile widening, eyes searching yours for any sign of genuine affect.
Anger started to boil up inside you as your attempts to escape his grasp remained futile.
"I don't think you understand the dynamic here very well, Satoru," you began, your voice low and deliberate, each word punctuated for emphasis. You stepped closer, invading his space as much as he had invaded yours, your eyes never leaving his. "Let me make this crystal clear, I'm not someone you can just fucking conquer, and I'm certainly not one of those girls who's gonna kiss the ground you walk on with your whole 'I'm the strongest' act," you seethed.
Your face was mere inches from his now, your breath mingling, the tension palpable. "Because I know what you really are, Satrou," you hissed, the anger in your voice barely contained. "You're a fucking douche bag."
"Oh? Is that so."
Satrou's expression shifted subtly, the amusement fading into something more measured, more cautious. He studied you for a moment and you took the chance to wiggle out of his grasp and make your way through the crowd on the dance floor toward the door. The beat of the music pounds in your ears and throughout your body making your synapses jump like beans in a tin can. You can barely see the floor, only flashes of bodies you frantically tried to push past. Before you can make it to the back door, a hand grips your wrist tightly enough to halt your forward rush. Above the din of the pulsating music and amidst the strobe-lit shadows of dancing figures, Satoru's face comes into view. You feel your breath catch in your throat.
God his is beautiful.
Strobe lights catch and accent every one of his sharp features alighting them in a multicolor color hue. He pulls your wrist to him so you're close, too close. You can smell the old spice shampoo from his hair mixed in with some sort of sweet cologne. It's a smell that makes you want to bury your nose into him over and over again.
"Jesus fucking Christ y/n" he breathed his eyes searching yours. "How long are we going to keep this thing of ours going?"
You furrowed your eyebrows. “Our thing? What thing?”
“The thing where we act like we hate each other but actually want to fuck the brains out of each other.”
Your eyes widen and you feel your face grow deathly hot. You try to step back, get some space, some room to breathe, but the hand on your wrist keeps you from doing so
“I-fuck you” the words come out of your mouth more soft and meager than you intended to, and you find yourself locked into his blue gaze.
“Believe me, I've thought about it.” His voice is low, and his face isn't painted with a shit-eating grin like it so usually is, he's serious and his eyes are soft.
Fuck it.
You can no longer hear the lyrics to whatever song was playing, only a soft dull hum of the beat in your ears. Immediately your lips are on his.
The kiss is frantic, hot, messy. The club's pulse thrummed through you like a second heartbeat, the noise and chaos all but forgotten in the singular focus of his presence. You could feel one of his large hands on the small of your back, drawing you in until there was no space left between the both of you. Your mouths clashed against each other as if you were both seeking something vital, something long-denied.
Satoru's lips were insistent against yours, moving with a fervor that matched the pounding bass surrounding you. You whined as his tongue slipped into your mouth, your hands tangling in his hair, pulling him closer. You could feel the heat radiating from his body, the firm press of his chest against yours. The scent of his cologne mixed with the smoky air around us, intoxicating and heady.
Your mouths separated with a soft pop, and Satoru is grinning while you're left dazed, breath heavy and chests rising and falling after it.
"How bout you say we get out of here Princess."Gojo's voice was a low murmur, his breath warm against your ear as you broke from the intense kiss.
Before you could even respond, a dizzying rush enveloped you. The loud club vanished in an instant, replaced by the quiet, dimly lit ambiance of his bedroom. You were suddenly on his bed, the soft duvet beneath you a stark contrast to the hard dance floor we'd just left. Right, he can teleport. You forgot about that.
Wait was he... where are you going to...
Before you can get a word in, he’s once again engulfing your lips with his and pulling you into a feverish kiss in which the two of you can’t seem to get enough of each other. The moment one pulls away to breathe, the other is immediately searching for their lips again; intertwining tongues and teeth clashing together recklessly.
Your hot, everything is hot, your body is burning up by the second and there’s a sickly sweet feeling in your stomach that keeps on expanding as time passes.
You whine into his mouth when you feel a hand slip under your skirt and lightly trace the outline of your slit with his index finger. You're painfully wet; your arousal has made a large spot on your underwear translucent.
“Just touch me,’ you whined, arching impatiently against his hand. He couldn’t make either of you wait any longer. Slowly, he brought his middle finger down and slid it gently over her folds. You threw your head back. "Ahhhh, more please." He did it again, this time his fingertip slipping between and gathering your wetness. He parted you with two fingers. You let out a gasp when he hit your clit and started to rub it in small circles.
You tried to say something, anything to explain how hot you were feeling right now, but your words were lost against his soft lips.
The taste of him, the smell of him, the feel of him so close against you, skin to skin. Time and space had no meaning anymore. There was only you and Satrou.
“You feeling good baby? Satrou speaks slowly, breath on your neck and voice in your ear making you shiver. You bite your lip and nod like any words that came from you would ruin it.
You almost wince when you feel two fingers slip into your tight hole.
"Jesus, fuck. You gotta relax princesses." He chuckled, knowing far to well that the tightness was going to feel delicious around him.
Two fingers worked into you, and your eyes rolled back into your head. He began a steady rhythm as his tongue nipped and sucked the tender skin of your neck. You couldn’t prevent her hips from rising to meet his thrusts. Oh God, you were riding his hand. That had to be bad. You told herself to stop. You couldn’t. Somehow, you found your hands tangled in his short white hair. Your body was coiled tighter, grasping at his fingers, so wet now you could hear the slippery sounds every time he drove back into you.
"Hnghhh.... so good." You squeezed your eyes type, becoming focused on the tightening feeling of your core and the blossoming warm pleasure. Your legs started to tremble under the unbearable pleasure and your back arched against the bed as if your body was trying to escape the euphoric feeling that coursed through your skin.
"That’s it, fuck, beautiful girl... such a natural submissive...."
You want to tell him he's wrong, all this pleasure wasn't because of his egotistic ass, but it'd be a lie. And as if on command, all feelings come to a heightened crescendo; explosions of euphoria clouding your brain causing your toes to curl from pleasure and your body to shake like a leaf.
It takes a couple seconds after you calmed down to realize you squirted all over Satoru's hand and all blood rushes to your face turning you a bright red.
“Oh my god in so sorry I didn’t-”
Your voice dies out as you watch Satrou pull off his shirt, revealing his extremely built body and toned muscles, to wipe the liquid off his hand. You don’t even notice that he had pulled out his dick until you feel something pressing against your entrance, making you look down and your eyes widen as you do so.
Your stomach inwardly twisted, filled with the sickly excitement and your breathing started to quicken.
"Shhhhh baby," Satoru cups your cheek and kisses your forehead. It was a sweet gesture despite everything happening right now, a gesture that made your heart swell and your mind yearn for Satoru.
The stretch of his dick spreading your walls is insane. No amount of preparation could've prepared you for the length of Satoru's dick. You feel it heavy inside you and Satrou pushes into you until he can't push anymore, until his hips are flush against you and the tip of his length is smushed against your cervix. The pleasure of that alone felt numb, unbearable, you needed friction, you needed him to move.
You practically faint when he first thrusts into you in earnest. It's euphoric; the curvature of his dick digging itself against your g-spot, scraping against your vaginal walls every time he backed his hips up. His cock pulsed inside of your silky walls, stretching you to the fullest capacity as he bottomed out again and again.
"Oh fuck." Satrou groaned.
He was no longer grinning, Satoru's playful resolves vanished and his smile quickly dropped. He knew you'd feel good, but he didn't expect how good you'd feel. The feeling of his hand he had fucked himself to the thought of you for so many nights was nothing compared to the real thing. It was too much, the feeling of your wet soft walls gripping him so tightly. How was he able to live without your pussy in the first place? The pleasure built rapidly, too potent, too insistent. He kneeled over you, a groan escaping his lips—a raw, primal sound that vibrated through the charged air between you.
Satorus thrust your quick and hard, a clear display of strength and endurance he had gained from years of jujutsu training.
"Been thinking about this, so long, bet you have to have ya~"
As Satrou's long, deliberate fingers encircle your neck, a thrilling chill races down your spine. He applies pressure gently at first, then with a firmer, insistent grip that gradually restricts your airflow, sending a wave of exhilaration through your senses. The world around you narrows, focusing intently on the point where his skin contacts yours, heightening every other sensation that courses through you. His other hand slips under your bra bra to grab and massage your breast, his thumb flicking over your nipples.
"Satoru..! Ahhhh..! I..I, fuckkkkk can't handle this.." You had no strength to answer him, only offering wanton moans in retort as he continued to wreck your body with his completely brutal thrusts. The pain of him hitting the tip of your cervix nearly every time mixed with his hand squeezing your throat it was just all too much.
Satoru. Satoru. Satoru
"Slow down.. please im gonna ahhhh~" Drool slipped passed your lips and you writhed and squirmed at the feeling of hot euphoria passed over your body in flesh arrow.
"Gonna cum? Fuck baby, let's... let's come together m'kay?" Satrou almost stuttered. His body had kicked into autopilot, and a deep primal need for you settled in as he thrust in and out, creating a methodical rhythm that echoed in your ears.
Your ankles lock around his lower back and you cry out when the head of his cock kisses your womb, your legs shaking as you feel yourself start to be thrown into an intense orgasm. You want to say something about the weird feeling in your stomach, how your skin is buzzing but it's all too much, and before you know it your tumbling toward the edge. It feels like your whole body was shot with electricity and color dances in your eyes as you float in ecstasy.
"Sh-Shit, shit, fuuuuck~" He chuckles into your ear, choking over his words as his hips sputter inside of you, hot cum fills you as much as you can hold inside of your stuffed cunny.
Satoru doesn't pull out as you both come down from your high, instead watching you intently as you ride through the aftershocks of your orgasm.
"Wanna do this again?" He chuckles.
"Fuck, yes, please."
#gojo x reader#gojo smut#jjk x reader#jjk smut#jujutsu kaisen#jujutsu kaisen headcanons#jujutsu kaisen smut#jujutsu kaisen x reader#gojo x reader smut#gojou satoru x reader
513 notes
·
View notes
Note
Missing my zombie!steve husband 🫶🏻
quiet day at the camp… hope something bad isn’t brewing… zombie apocalypse au <3 fem, 2k
Steve loves the sound of the river, but he only allows himself a moment to lay down on the riverbank during laundry hours.
You stand knee deep in the water with your pants and sleeves rolled up, the corrugated metal of an old shed roof that’s been repurposed into a washing board held to your chest. It was pointless to roll your sleeves up, you’re soaked to the bone, even your hair, but the summer sun keeps you warm.
“Don’t get too hot!” you call.
“I’m fine,” he says, unwilling to shout.
“He’s fine!” Robin shouts from beside him. “Numbskull.”
Steve stares at you, locking you in, so to speak, the nice shape of your hip and stomach, the mess of your wet hair. Tonight, he’ll help you fix it, but there’s no rush and no hurry to dry off while the sun is out, and the fences are up. He turns onto his stomach. Grass tickles his cheeks.
“You sure you’re okay?” Robin asks quietly.
“Fine. Can you tell me if she needs help?”
“Sure.” He listens to the sounds of her moving, likely pulling the slim lengths of her legs against her chest to hug herself, the tan leaves of a book spread out just in front of her.
Steve could really go for a cigarette. You swapped the last box you found for toothpaste, isn’t that how it always goes? You and Robin found a cheat code in the apocalypse, nicotine with a capital ‘N’. You swap Arctic chewable for socks without holes and boxes of Marlboro’s for the bathroom essentials. Everybody wants them, and you’re great at finding them. Steve never thought he’d crave a cigarette again considering he wasn’t addicted, having smoked for a couple of months in high school to feel cool with his friends, stopping when his mom asked him to. He doesn’t remember why. She’d asked, and he’d listened, as he used to do. Swim team, cross country, basketball, lifeguard training, mowing the lawn, not upsetting his father, taking out the trash, vacuuming, no drinking and driving; task after task after task. Some of it was easy. He liked doing the dishes, and he loved taking care of his mom even if she didn’t feel the same.
Not that it matters now. Does it matter now? He’s never gonna see her again. She’s a memory. She’s a bad memory, most of the time.
The more he reflects on it, he decides. She was a bit shitty, but she’s his mom, and she’s likely gone, so he’ll try to remember the cookies they made together and the way she’d smile at him after she tied his shoelaces before school. And also the mean fucking bitch she’d turn into when she drank two glasses of wine.
“What are you thinking about?” Robin asks.
“That’s the wrong soap,” you say from the river. Your voice floats over the breeze.
“Fuck off, soap is soap,” Eddie says, your not-so-new friend, Steve’s sworn enemy.
“I’m just saying,” you laugh. “Look, I’ll wash, you rinse.”
“I’m thinking about that time,” Steve begins, holding his hand out toward her, open but not expectant, “when my mom and dad came home early from his business trip in Missouri and found us sleeping together.”
“I’d never heard your dad laugh before,” Robin says.
“My mom really didn’t like you after that.” He smiles as she takes his hand. They were a lot more touchy, pre-apocalypse. He misses that sometimes.
“I don’t even think she thought we were dating.”
“She was disgusted.”
“She said we were being weird teenagers.”
“I guess we were. I never had a friend like you before so maybe I can’t blame her,” he says. He has something special with you, you’re a best friend because you’re half of his heart, but Robin was his first proper best friend, and remains it. “I missed you a lot when we were stuck in Indiana. There were a ton of times where shit would go wrong and I would get mad at you because I knew you’d know how to fix it, but you weren’t there.”
“You’d get mad at me?” Robin asks, squeezing his hand. “You jerk. Be mad at yourself.”
“Can you wait for me next time?” he asks.
Robin’s quiet, then she laughs, “I’m nodding but you can’t see.”
He wonders how she’s feeling. He admits to not doing that much in the past. Not that he didn’t think about how he made others feel, he was always worrying about that after Nancy, but he can’t say he thought of it in the moment. Steve forces himself to sit up and offer his arms for a hug, which Robin gladly accepts, her frazzled laugh on his neck as he pats her back.
“Are you okay?” she asks.
“You know Y/N says I’m possessive?”
Robin leans away, fingers curled around his elbow. “You’re fighting?”
“No, just. She says I’m possessive, that I get mad about, you know, my people.”
“Right. Isn’t everybody?”
“I never thought I did. I’m not, like, too proud most of the time.”
“Steve, this is super introspective,” she says, frowning, smiling, a weird expression somewhere melding in the middle of happy and concerned. “Are you sure you’re okay? It’s fine if you’re not.” She laughs shrilly. “I woke up the other day and cried and then ten minutes later I felt fine. I’m far from okay.”
Steve glances past Robin’s head to watch you in the river. You’re sitting down amongst the stones. It really isn’t too deep, water to your ribcage washing suds down to Munson, who’s smiling at you kindly, not smarmy or flirting, just smiling.
“Why did you cry?” he asks quietly.
“I missed my cousin, I think.”
Steve curls his arm behind her head and encourages her in for a fiercer hug.
“Think we should probably go help them,” she mumbles.
He takes it for the brush off that it is; sincerity is too much to take, sometimes. If she wants to be evasive about it that’s okay, she already took the leap and admitted to getting upset.
“I cried thinking about Y/N’s hands the other day,” he says.
“Steve.” Robin rubs her eye with the heel of her hand. “I don’t even know what to tell you.”
“What? I’m trying to show you I’m pathetic so you don’t feel bad.”
“I know you’re pathetic, and I don’t feel bad.” She climbs off of the ground and brushes broken grass off of her legs. Steve climbs up next to her, nudging her with his elbow. “You’re mucho pathetic. It’s kind of crazy.”
“I think I might try and drown him,” he says conversationally.
“Why now?”
“Why do you think?” Steve asks, toeing off his shoes and peeling off his socks, nearly pitching forward on the wet bank closer to the river.
You and Eddie look up as they approach from different spots of the water. Your smile at seeing him winds him for the thousandth time, just so happy to see him, so in love with you he doesn’t even know what to do for a few seconds. “Hey, honey,” he says, “can I help?”
“Now you wanna help?” you ask, gesturing to your soaked front.
You’re messing with him, and he doesn’t care anyways, you can talk to him like crap if you want to. He shuffles down from the mud of the riverbank and into the water, cold and wet like a shock against his ankles, softer as it climbs to his knees. You’re sitting where it’s more shallow, opposed to Eddie on his knees and almost drowning further down. He puts his hand on your wet shoulder and kneels down in the water beside you. “Wanna hug?” you tease.
Steve hugs you. Doesn’t care that you’re soaking or that the water is freezing against his crown jewels, though he shivers by your ear, prompting your laugh like bubbles in his own. “It’s cold,” he says.
“Freezing!”
Not to be a freak, but he can feel your chest pressed to him, and he knows you get achy in the cold. He wraps his arms doubly behind your back and rubs at your sides. “How much laundry’s left?” he asks. “We’re gonna get hypothermia. Again.”
“You didn’t get hypothermia,” you remind him, folding into his space. “Steve… is everything okay?”
“Do I look mopey today? Robin just asked me the same thing.”
“You don’t look mopey, but you’re being touchy. You’re cuddling.”
“How am I not supposed to cuddle you, dummy? I’m keeping you warm enough to function right now. Without me you’d be an ice cube floating down the river.” He leans back to hold your face in one hand, your cheek under his thumb, water racing down his wrists and your neck.
You push against his hand gently with your cheek.
“Sorry,” he says.
“What for?”
For lots of things. “I didn’t realise how cold the water was. I would’ve come to help you.”
“It’s fine. I scrub everything and then Eddie catches it. We’ve only lost one pair of underwear,” you say. “The river’s like a long washing machine.”
“How much do you have left?” he asks.
“Nothing. I was just about to get out.”
“Couldn’t have told me that before I came to get you?”
“No,” you say, lifting your chin. Not challenging, but close. It’s an offer, Steve decides, kiss me or don’t kiss me. You don’t seem to realise he doesn’t decide, he needs you. If you always wanted to kiss him, you’d always be kissing, all the time, everywhere.
Steve gives you a quick peck. “Come on, let’s go set up the line.”
You somehow, together, make your way back to the tents without freezing to death after throwing your clothes on a drying line between trees. It’s warm enough that stripping down to your skivvies is mildly pleasant (away from the eyes of the other campers). You get dressed in the softest clothes you own upon Steve’s insistence, sweatpants and a dark hoodie, three pairs of socks and the tent door left open, before he lays you down on the sleeping bag, and settles between your legs, his full weight bearing down on you, his face nestled in the damp crook of your neck.
“I couldn’t kiss you the right way,” he confesses.
“Why?” You pull mildly at the ends of his hair.
“‘Cos I always want more than one kiss.”
“That’s a strangely romantic way to say you wanted to make out with me,” you whisper.
“It’s not like that,” he insists, even though he does want to, and he did in the river, and he does all the time.
“You’re getting kinda heavy, Steve,” you mumble.
“What?”
“It’s a good thing.”
“How dare you.”
“We got sorta frail for a bit.” You wrap an arm around his head, tip of your nose to his forehead.
“Yeah. Lucky we’re in camp Eddie now,” Steve says.
“I never thought I’d hear you say that,” you murmur, so close to sleeping Steve can tell. You just need a feeling of security to nudge you over the edge.
“Lucky we’re together.” He climbs off of you slowly so as not to rouse you too much, kissing your slack cheek as he settles on your shoulder. “You and me. I don’t care where we are.”
He ends up falling asleep not long after you, lulled by the rhythm of your light snore.
#steve zombie!au#steve harrington#steve harrington x reader#steve harrington x you#steve harrington x y/n#steve harrington x fem!reader#steve harrington imagine#steve harrington fluff#steve harrington fanfic#steve harrington oneshot#steve harrington scenario#steve harrington drabble#steve harrington fic#steve harrington fanfiction#stranger things fanfiction#stranger things#stranger things fic#stranger things x reader
224 notes
·
View notes
Text
i said this on my old blog and imma say it again. there's something soooo !!! about the shooting arc in more ways than one. my current focus is the parallels between buddie and caskett (castle, also an abc show - ik 911 was on fox in s4 but still)
in season 3 of castle, one of the mains, beckett, was shot in the chest. her partner/love interest/other main character was the one to talk to her, begging her not to leave him and to "stay with me."
buck did the same thing to eddie in their season 4.
castle knocked beckett out of the way so she couldn't get shot again. buck dragged eddie out of harm's way so he wouldn't get shot again. both watched as the loves of their lives got wheeled into surgery.
the moment we knew about the shooting (before it was even confirmed to be eddie) my first thought was the castle shooting arc. i thought there was going to be a buddie "i love you" as it unfolded bc everything else had been going the way i knew it would, and bc it happened in castle. beckett was bleeding out and castle confessed his feelings. it didn't happen like that in 911, but we got the will reveal which is the same thing in my books!
anyways, another thing, their faces (all four characters from both shows) are the EXACT same when they see one another in the hospital after the shooting. AND!!! both injured parties (beckett and eddie) had their partner at the time on their right side as buck and castle walk in! beckett says "hey, castle" and eddie says "hey, buck" in very similar tones.
ANOTHER!!! the shooting arc in both shows started a ripple effect of a ptsd arc for the injured. in which both had breakdowns. (eddie's stemmed further back, but the shooting really brought it all up)
let's also not forget that both castle and buck blamed themselves for not being able to protect their partner !
and my last point for now... castle asked beckett what she remembered from the shooting. she wasn't ready to acknowledge the confession so she lied and said she didn't remember much of the shooting. when buck asked eddie what he remembered, he said that he didn't remember much. they both described it in such a similar way which made me kinda go 👀
if you made it this far i am sorry and also here is visual and audio of most main points i spoke about
and in case y'all weren't aware, castle and beckett end up married (maybe they have kids? idk the ending of the show was fucking weird) there's still so much hope for buddie
#evan buckley#eddie diaz#911 abc#buddie#parallels#caskett#castle abc#richard castle#kate beckett#blood tw#flashing tw#injury tw#motion sickness tw#meta#911 meta
28 notes
·
View notes
Note
feel free ignore this but i was just wondering when you started writing fics bc theyre all so amazing wtf???
ignore this sweet ask?? NEVER!!
so, to be completely honest, this is not the first time i've written and published fics!! though, i've NEVER received attention like this and it's so so nice!!
i've been writing little stories in my head for probs as long as i can remember. writing was just always something that i've done and i have distinct memories of crying to my mom about how hard it was sometimes when the words came out wrong or i struggled to spell them correctly. this would later be diagnosed as dyslexia but my mom made sure to get me the correct support i needed!! it still fucking sucks but whatevas lmao
also, my mom loved to write when she was in college!! and she was really good, too, but she gave it all up to marry my (stupid ass) dad and raise my sister and i. but that's a really sad story for another day.
BUT i wrote some crappy mcu fanfic on here when i was like 10?? really really bad i hadn't even seen all the movies when i wrote that i just thought bucky was hot lmao- (do not go looking for that shit i will cut you- i don't even know how you would find that but no! bad!)
then, during covid, i had a fever dream the night before christmas (deadass im not being funny) and started writing fanfic for...ugh i can't believe im gonna say this but it was sherlock lmao-
like...legit 12 books. each with like eight to nine chapters. it basically followed the plot of the show EXACTLY except for with the add in of my oc lmao. that's posted on wattpad (again. i will commit crimes to keep my name away from that shit lmao- i tried rereading it the other day and nearly died from cringe)
OH AND I WENT THROUGH A CRINGY ASS POETRY PHASE LMAO THOSE WERE BAD BAD- tbh might be willing to share them to strictly laugh at but idk where i would find it anymore bc i feel like ive scrubbed it off my phone-
all that to say, i've been doing crappy writing for a very long time, but this is the first time that i've actually felt really proud of my work. also, you're such a sweetheart to ask this and it was so fun to reply to!! i really do love yapping yall up!!
anyways, hope this made sense and i WILL find you if you so much as THINK about finding my old fics lmao-
#no but fr if yall find them i will legit be impressed#MORE than impressed#return to sender ౨ৎ#all my love ౨ৎ
22 notes
·
View notes
Text
Absolutely loving the fact that, despite Dracula being adapted to death and back by media over the last century, a lot of people don't actually know the original story. As in, here we are, in 2022, tagging spoilers for a 125 year old novel that most people thought they knew from it's countless adaptations but turned out to not know at all. It's great. I love it. Thanks for sharing your first-time reactions to this comedy of an old book.
#it's good to remember that we have 125 years of hindsight when reading this though#people back in 1897 didn't know the things we know today#their worldview was very different from ours and they didn't know all the spooky tropes we know today#since yknow this book was part of the ones who started those tropes to begin with#yes Dracula is a comedy by todays standard and please continue to make fun of our Dear Friend Jonathan and Domestic Teeabo Dracula#but also remember that this book is Old as Fuck#and very old timey English(tm)#so there's inevitably gonna be descriptions and character-opinions that reflect that#just good to keep in mind#anyway love yall#keep on what you're doing#I'm having a blast reading all of your funny Dracula posts#Dracula Daily#Dracula#Bram Stoker's Dracula#babbling in the tags I guess
9K notes
·
View notes
Text
save me old flipnote studio MVs.......
#im going thru old flipnotes i used to watch years ago and ouggghhg so many good ones#is twenty one pilots still popular.... do people still remember the TRNDSTTER and marble soda meme.........#its like im unlocking some sort of primal part of my brain and everything is coming back to me. one of my biggest inspirations as a kid#i still remember thinking the final transmission lyrics were the coolest thing and watching =TopHat= Bee and Melissa over and over#theres a very specific feeling of longing and nostalgia looking back and watching these again years later#especially when there isnt anything genshin or mcyt and instead its either fnaf undertale eddsworld or another obscure#interest... and not even fnaf sister location its like fnaf 3 and 2. its THAT old. and a lot of oc MVs especially pokemon ocs and furries..#god but they were so creative u know. i still find it amazing ppl took this little lightbox animation on the fucking NINTENDO DS and#cranked it all the way to 11.. like if u look at the transitions and movement its so fucking fluid its insane..!! HOW DO YOU MAKE THE#CHARACTERS SPIN??? AND CHANGING CAMERA ANGLES??? and keep in mind youre doing this all with a shitty stylus#on a THREE BY TWO INCH SCREEN. you only get two layers you can go up to 29FPS and you only have 999 slides to work with#and 24FPS eats up a lot of that. absolutely insane it literally boggles my mind every time i think about it. AND SOME ARE EVEN FULL COLOR#i forgot how popular EDM was back then too...they were really good for timing beats though so you get a lot of MVs with#strobe last and marble soda. porter robinsons goodbye to a world was also popular with undertale and oc MVs. also a lot of vocaloid#someone made a flipnote abt the warner bros fnaf movie being announced EIGHT FUCKING YEARS AGO. it even used the stay calm audio from#the office.... i wonder how theyre doing now... i love you shitty grainy MV audio.. but i have mixed feelings abt the flashing colors#ppl LOVED animating the sans vs frisk fight. aishite and primadonna were also big ones they were SICK AS FUCK#lots of these inspired my old oc designs.. a lot of my characters had side bangs with one eye covered. animal ears and simple eyes too#now i kinda wanna try my hand at the marble soda meme cause i loved it as a kid lol.. i wonder if i should compare my old and new art here#UGHHHH IM SO NORMAL ABOUT NOSTALGIA. IM SO NORMAL ABT MY SCHOOL BOOK DRAWINGS WITH SHIBA BROWS#yapping#nostalgia
31 notes
·
View notes
Text
every single time that the knowledge that onision exists enters my scope of perception i have to wonder how he hasnt been thrown in the slammer
#also i have to wonder how people even liked him at all cause ppl are like 'well he wasnt THAT bad before'#dude. all his old content sucks fuck AND its creepy as hell??#anyway im finally watching strange aeons last onision book video. this man is deranged#i remember when the huge callout document came out a few years ago documenting all the abuse evidence it was so fucking deranged too#like there is just so much. so much#thunderclap
24 notes
·
View notes
Text
mad as fuck i just started a carpe jugulum reread bc that book is fucking crazy and i miss granny :( but the weather is getting nice and the shadow of night watch looms over me every day we get closer to may
#i remembered smth about night watch like while listening to carpe jugulum like while magrat was talking. and it made me go aauagh#as night watch always does#it really is like. again not even in my top fave discworld books but it is one of the best books ever written#like when he fucking says that he thought keel was his FATHER the whole time and now its him and hes about to have a baby and hes like#also 18 yrs old hes also staring at 18 yr old him and hes his own dad and also dad to his son at the same time its fucking craaaazy#i miss granny fr though i miss her
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
A quick skim through the BBC!Ghosts tag tells me that no one has spent too much time trying to decode the Captain’s service ribbons. Lucky you, I did!
The badge on his jacket lapels say that he was in the royal artillery
1939 to 1945 Star: This is awarded to anyone who completed operational service overseas between 3 September 1939 and 8 May 1945 for at least 180 days.
France and Germany Star: Awarded for at least 1 day of operational service in France, Belgium, Luxembourg, The Netherlands or Germany between 6 June 1944 and 8 May 1945.
Defence Medal: Awarded for non-operational service (like training bases, for example) in the UK or overseas. A minimum of 3 years service in either the UK (3 Sep 1939 and 8 May 1945) or in the Home Guard (14 May 1940 and 31 Dec 1944) are required; if stationed overseas, 1 year between 3 Sep 1939 and 2 Sep 1945.
War Medal 1939 to 1945: Awarded to all full time personnel of the armed forces who served at least 28 days between 3 September 1939 and 2 September 1945, no matter where. In Europe, WWII ended in May 1945; this medal was instituted in August 1945.
He doesn’t wear any other clasp, so he didn’t fight in the Battle for Britain or the Battle of the Atlantic (makes sense, those were RAF and Navy stuff mostly). The Africa Star was awarded for a minimum of one day of operational service in North Africa, the Arctic Star was awarded for any amount of time spent fighting in that campaign, and the Pacific, Burma, and Italy Stars were awarded upon entry into an operational area. He was awarded none of these medals, which means he only fought the France and Germany campaign.
He only wears WWII medals, which means he didn’t fight in WWI (it was unlikely he would have anyway, tbh, 41 was the the maximum age to fight in WWII, which would have made him 18 in 1916). The order I’ve written them out in (from top to bottom) is the order they should go left to right. For some reason, the Captain is wearing the ribbon band upside down. That’s a very huge big no good no-no. At first I assumed if was a mistake by the costume people, but it’s been three seasons and that hasn’t been fixed yet so I have to conclude it’s intentional. It could be some kind of BBC directive (idk, “non-army personnel has to wear the uniform in a certain way or it’s an insult to the queen” or some other silly nonsense) or it could be a genuine mistake the Captain made before dying, in which case I assume he’s spent sixty years being massively bothered by this. [ @lagoonnebula6523 said that the director of series 1 and 2 hinted that the reason for this mistake would be revealed in a future series, which I think points to an in universe explanation. Thank you for the info, this is super cool to know!] [Small aside, but I remember googling why the ribbons would be worn upside down and what i found was neat but probably unrelated. Check the tags if you’re interested]
I believe he’s in a service dress, which basically means he was at some kind of event when he died. He’s not in the army equivalent of the white tie, so we’re not talking about something too fancy. Maybe some sort of minor party?
So yeah, dude died after the war ended, and considering he seems used to saying “king” instead of “queen” I feel like he died either before Elizabeth was crowned or just after, so somewhere between August 1945 and around 1953-55
#bbc ghosts#ghosts bbc#bbc!ghosts#long story short; dude fought at least half a year in belgium and france#Could have been involved with d-day or he could have arrived later#he also doesn't have a Korea medal (the requirement for it is at least one day in korea if you're army)#that war started in 1950 and was established in 1951#that could mean he died before that war begun... but i also have no fucking clue how the army works#like idk maybe they only sent six pople who drew the short stick for that one and he wasn't one of them#and i mean his knees are clearly in a bad way so maybe he was alive and just couldn't go#he could also have been too old (read: over 41) for that one#Okay now re: what i found out when i googled why a ribbon band would be worn upside down#I found were a couple of articles about some army guy wearing the ribbon band upside down by mistake and apologizing for it#(i seem to remember he was american but still i think the contriteness would be the same)#and the historical novel “The Reverse of the Medal” by Patrick O’Brian#remember the Master and Commander movie? It comes from a series of books the reverse of the medal is from#if you don't remember it: historical novels set in 1800 following a Navy officer and his friend#in the Reverse of the Medial a character goes through cashiering#(basically a ritual of shame in which you're dishonourably discharged)#the title is a reference to that and also probably to the flying the union jack upside down#flying the union jack upside down is a big no no but it's sometimes done (generally by people in the forces)#to signal distress#the title is obviously also a reference to the turn of phrase 'opposite side of the medal'#is this in any way relevant to the Captain? Probably not!
154 notes
·
View notes
Text
“Octavian was evil just to be evil. There should have been a reason!”
Surprise! Villains don’t need a tragic backstory to explain why they are evil. Sometimes people are just evil!!!!! Also he had a reason, he wanted power.
#some of y’all are very obviously like 14#pay attention in English class I’m begging you#also hate to say it but maybe Rick didn’t give him a tragic backstory because he saw how fucking annoying you were about luke#sorry I know this discourse is so so old but I’m reading the series and I am on the blood of Olympus#I was going through the tags and some of y’all are so annoying#like I know the heroes of Olympus isn’t as good as the OG series#but it’s not terrible#it’s still very enjoyable and well written especially for a book series for middle schoolers#like remember the audience
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
gomens trending again got me thinking about the parallels between aziraphale & crowley and of course the alltime faves warp & buzz... [SPOILER FREE POST]
idk its just! something ive been pondering is the structure of star command and its grabbag mix of peacekeeping / police / military / law enforcement functions and its ineffective & flawed structure and principles. even in blosc canon i think buzz is unquestioningly devoted to it because he is not, and has never been, directly opressed by, if i may call it that, the police state + he does believe that he as a space ranger works for the great good and general forces of justice... and yet! and yet he regularly goes against sc's rules and regulations on a whim! from disrespecting lives and privacy of perceived criminals (mocking, mind probing, other stuff i cant remember explicit examples for) to, on the other hand, not bringing them to justice or generally showing sympathy (looking at the ending of ancient evil of course, but also gravitina & millenial bugs bc ozma was breaking the law for sure there, no?). and he is also AWARE of how the system is not fair and "stacked against us" as shown in lone wolf! which makes me think he has some unexamined internal conflict about his job/calling--like aziraphale!!!
and on the other hand... sighs lovingly. and in the other corner we have warp who is obviously against star command (to what extent and based on what beliefs we unfortunately aren't shown) yet i think has never challenged its systems and operations openly, only subversively worked against em. maybe that's because in canon the whole time he had been a space ranger he was also secretly working against sc & for that reason he never cared enough to ever attempt to change sc or convince buzz they/he needed to change it ("convince buzz to do it" because buzz's a posterboy & the best & wrote actual RULEBOOK for star command--so he probably could've done a lot of improvements). and also for warp this whole star command thing was always just a job/cover so he wouldn't do all this hard unpaid work of Bringing On Systematic Changes that wouldn't benefit him immediately. BUT! imagine!!! if warp HAD to stick with the job--if he was forced to live and work under a fucked up rigorous unfair system encouraging blind obedience--as the angels and crowley had to!!--he wouldve rebelled SO FAST. punk demon warp + autism angel buzz for forever and a day!!!
so in conclusion in gomens/blosc crossover warp quits heaven day 1 and then after a lot of talking and questioning the established order of things and gomens-typical shenanigans buzz&warp must go from "a demon and an angel" to "two blokes fucking around" & go awol together married style. love wins?!
edit [STILL SPOILER-FREE]: i wrote this post before watching gomens season 2 and rereading/recontextualizing it now i keep thinking Wow. Did I Hit That Nail On The Head, especially with the buzz and aziraphale parallels. as i put it on twitter: "stubborn holier than thou autistic guy who genuinely believes the oppressive system hes working for is good and just" and "sexiest motherfucker on earth (who secretly cares)". the ending of s2 was almost a reversal of the buzz&warp main conflict which is DELICIOUS actually... with much more explicit gayness mixed in. fun! fun fun fun.
#shoutout to rangespacer with his BEAUTIFUL takes on buzz in general and the topic of starcommand specifically btw i should reblog those asap#this post turned very long and rambly lol i just remember how much i like this 30year old book and also warps character arc<3#origpost#i think if canon warp ever came up to buzz and said Hey man ever think about how police and prisons are fucked up and what we do is harmful#buzz would either 1) [pre-tab] dismiss his concerns because buzzs bullheaded like that & believes in star command way too much#2) [post-tab] assume warp was being hypocritical/only saying that to improve the life of Evil Criminals--like HIMSELF apparently!!!#& apparently buzz cant trust ANYTHING!!! because his best friendship is apparently a lie!!! WORK MORE & NEVER QUESTION THINGS!!!#buzz + warp. greatest doomed relationship that never could happen because the 20 years of partnership have been spoiled from the beginning.#good job warp good job buzz. wish you two had had 4 thousand years to work your differences out <3...
8 notes
·
View notes
Text
I have incomprehensible thoughts rn about how many classic American folk songs are kinda fucked up (and many are "sanitized" for modern listening to be less fucked up), and it's wild that we just, teach these songs to children without any context or anything? like, clementine is about a miner's daughter DROWNING TO DEATH as he watches helplessly? Old folks at home is a fucking RACIST AF ass song written by a white dude in the perspective of a slave who has been freed who misses his life on a plantation? when John Henry was sang by miners it often had ad-libbed, graphic lyrics about having sex with women at the end of the work day (as a way to motivate themselves and get them through the hell that was mining in the 1800s), and a lot of our modern versions are just super sanitized? like I get its hard to explain a lot of that shit to kids but like, its often never revisited and those songs are just left as sanitized, incoherent childhood introductions to America when they actually all have great amounts of value and history when put into context!!
#I will die on this hill that American folk music is an important part of history and it makes me sad it gets left behind and sanitized#its original meaning should not be incomprehensible and forgotten. even if it is extremely ugly and vile; or even if its really dark and sa#like in order for the country to reconcile with its evil and paiiiinful past we need to ACKNOWLEDGE IT and stop trying to sanitize it#anyways. fun facts clementine was a favorite song of mine as a child and I still hold it near and dear to my heart. and dont get me STARTED#ON OLD FOLKS AT HOME#that song is soooo racist but I learned it in a cello positions book so I didn't know the lyrics or context for YEARS after I learned it#and I always thought it was such a hauntingly beautiful song cause musically IT IS. SO GOOD.#but goddamn when I found out the lyrics and the context I was so fucking mad. thats some awful fucked up bullshit like I cant even begin#and idk it makes me upset to think about the context but also I think it really important we recognize that was really the true atmosphere#at the time and that was our country. Stephen foster is an American folk legend and he wrote that awful racist song. he is great at his art#form but is not separate from his place in time. he was a racist even if he was progressive at that moment in hisotry.#and that is our country. and idk like I think that that adds even more pain to that song and it makes it even more painful to listen to#and thats why we need to not forget it and listen to it to fucking remember and acknowledge how we got here and what we came from#I hate that song and I love that song but I hate it and ughhhhh I wish I hadn't learned it on cello and loved the melody for years#cause its gross af. but also like#its where we came from so I shouldn't hate our history cause thats ignorant and not productive#anwyays#googoogajoob
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Huh do you guys remember the book tuck everlasting? How the main girl Winnie was a fat ten year old with an immortal love interest who was "17" but actually like 100 n something and the whole thing with him was he wanted her to drink the everlasting water when she turned 17 so shed be 17 forever and they could get married like that was kinda weird he would.like take her just the two of em and talk up marriage with her and she was like TEN ? They changed it in the movie and made her a skinny fifteen year old but still wow I'm surprised why so many christan parents let that romance book be allowed but like....pride n prejudice was a debate? I don't understand the logic of homeschool mother's AT ALL WHY WAS THAT BOOK ALLOWED BUT WHY WAS I SCREAMED AT FOR CHECKING OUT OLD YELLER AT THE LIBRARY BY A HOMESCHOOL MOTHER IN OUR CO-OP???
#like uh i remember reading that book when i was 11#and uh it's a lil weird just saying#i remember being really angry they made her skinny in the movie but uh maybe I'm misremembering but i picked it up to read to my siblings#and once again had to 'lose it' because uhhhhhhhhhh what the fuck#im not sure if the author made it intentionally creepy for jessie to be pushing and preparing her for marriage and being alone with her but#uhhhhhh I didn't like him when i was a kid and i sure as fuck am like wow#I'm not sure if the author was trying to make it negative and about grooming because the homeschool moms always acted like it was romantic#they always went awwwww i wish she hadn't wasted that wayer on a frog but like#idk#once again why was that romance ok but pride n prejudice romance not ok for some homeschool moms?????????????#like we did p&p the play in lur drama troup and uhhhh a lot of familys dropped out#i loved it though i played jane it was so good and fun#also there was.like 6 moms in the homeschool co-op that just made my life H E L L#like they literally humiliated and bullied me constantly and over minor things like reading OLD YELLER?????????#like don't get me STARTED on the harry potter lotr and anything that had magic drama#giving Narnia which is like the most Christian homeschooler books got me in trouble with like four of em BECAUSE MAGOC? EVEN THOUGH ASLAN#just I do not understand the logic#like i just DON'T GET IT#like grooming is romantic but#like magic is evil? and don't you dare read that book where the dog dies you evil little bitch
3 notes
·
View notes
Text
Sometimes I think I must consume media wrong because I don't remember The Lottery by Shirley Jackson fucking me up
Like sure I read it and was like 'wait hang on, what- oh dear.' but I didn't have the 'Dude That Was So Fucked Up I Am Fundamentally Changed As A Person' experience everyone else apparently had
And that ain't a flex btw this ain't a "oh I can read the most fucked up stuff and feel NOTHING" kinda bullshit I just. Wasn't that deeply affected lmao
#but also i got a B in English Literature A Level so I must be doing somethin right lmao#smol speaks#im trying to think why it didnt really mess with me. it wasnt a 'shocking twist' it's Where The Story Went to me#then again i dont remember many specifics from when i was younger. hell i barely remember the last week. i do know we read it though#i dont remember what conclusions i reached or what we even discussed. however i CAN think of a story that did affect me as a kid:#Lola Rose by Jacqueline Wilson. I read it in primary school and have reread it multiple times. i felt such a connection with Lola Rose#she was so similar to me even though we also had differences (her fear and hatred of sharks vs my love of them) (though her fear made sense#i dont think ive ever empathized with a character so much. and that book introduced me to the concept of abusive parents i think.#the idea of a parent who didnt simply love you but sometimes went about it wrong or made mistakes. but one who *actively* hurt their family#rereading that book again as an adult is heartbreaking ESPECIALLY the 'Voice of Doom' sections which *holy fuck i relate to*. there's such#dread and fear in that book but luckily there is hope and joy!! but God above the shit that girl deals with. anyway maybe reading a story#about a weird festival that ends with a stoning doesnt hit as hard when youve read about a girl seeing the bruises on her mother's chest#in the bath and having to tell her 5 year old brother they ran away from Dad because he hurt Mum and his response is 'but she deserves it'#abuse mention#better tag that huh. yeah sorry i put half the post in the tags again GOD i should make an actual Lola Rose post
6 notes
·
View notes
Text
mental breakdown in the tags incoming scroll past for your own well being
#so like im just WORRIED#cause like what if ive fully just convinced myself i think he's attractive but I actually dont think he is and I'm just jerking him around#and actinf like i think hes cute cause hes the first guy im not even joking basically ever since the ripe old age of 9 except for cameron#idgaf about his privacy he can fuck off but anyway he is like the first guy other than tiny little awkward 9 year olds to show me any form#of attention. and what if im craving it so bad im just convincing myself that i like him? like am i doing that? cause never in my life have#i gotten like those fucking butterflies or whatever around guys cause ive never been around them much so ive always felt so awkward around#them and just ignored them. like i even have a hard time talking to my male coworkers and looking them in the eye. and i just make up these#scenarios where every single male coworker that ever showed me any form of attention is actually secretly going to fall in love with me and#its like FUCK is that just all I'm doing? pretending? on both ends? but then i have to tell myself that my anxiety is more often than not#full of shit. but like ive craved attention all my life and what if im juat latching on to the first guy that gives that to me? i don't#wanna be that asshole. im just scared. how does everyone just date people? i thought for a while i may be ace in some way#but im also just wondering if i repressed myself that fucking much from literally age 6 that it did that much damage to me? cause ive always#been weird about myself and my body and things like that and i vividly remember wearing a tank top at age 6 in school and being freaked out#the whole day that i would get dress coded. i need to unpack this in therapy hardcore. cause i was also sa-ed when i was younger but i can't#exactly remember how old i was.#but i just think ive always repressed myself and pushed all of that down to the point that i dont know what it feels like? cause i watch#movies and read books and listen to music qnd im like hmm thats never happened to me something must be Wrong With Me.#thanks for coming to my ted talk#im so fucking nauseous#is that butterflies lmao#🎸
3 notes
·
View notes
Last Seen Blogs
globalvisionqa-blog
Global Vision Consultants
jobpm
https://www.mirrorstoday.co.uk
lovekipani
Dreamland
sasha-ming
Sasha M ing
demonic-queer
proud cisphobe